#sad not in the sense that i’d hate that if it happened to me but overcome with jealousy and desperation

[starryjkoo]

Please only Jungkook and Jungkook himself is to blame for people (a.k.a his own fans) always twisting his words and actions. Y'all have never bothered to ask yourselves why it's always JK who has to go through this and not the other members, especially the other two maknae line members, since people are just as obsessed with them too?

It's because for years JK has constantly contradicted himself in his words and actions, especially when it comes to Jimin. One minute he's hot, the next he's cold. One minute he says something nice about Jimin and then the next he's back to being an insensitive prick. One minute he's initiating touch with Jimin, the next he looks like he's close to physically throwing up when Jimin does the same to him😅. One moment he does something for Jimin that'll convince you that he truly loves him just a bit more than the others, the next he goes above and beyond for EVERYONE else while making it seem like it's impossible for him to even do the bare minimum for JM (his trip to Hawaii for Tae vs him saying "nah" when Jimin asked him to come watch him practice the next time ???)

No one but JK is responsible for the way his fandom is right now and for how they are treating Jimin. Things like these don't just stem from nowhere. These are his FANS projecting this "he's uncomfortable with Jimin/he hates Jimin/them" narrative onto him and his actions keep the narrative alive and consistent, while naturally the ones who care about Jimin/his relationship with Jimin will be sensitive to how he acts and expect him to be better.

Of course it's obvious that JK loves Jimin a lot and the "uncomfortable" Jikook moments have never bothered me personally because I've always had a reason about why they exist/why JK is like that with Jimin and it's a positive reason. But we can't deny the existence of certain things and why those things exist in the first place.

From an objective standpoint, it makes sense why there are people who believe he doesn't like Jimin and why every time he shows that he does in fact like Jimin or even more-than-just "like" Jimin, they resort to saying he's pretending or that he's being "forced". It also makes sense why there are those who have "high/unrealistic" expectations for him.

And BOTH those sides make up his own fandom, unlike others like Jimin whose antis are the one projecting the "he's fake/pretentious, doesn't really love JK or anybody" personality onto him. It's all from and because of JK.

Anyway it's sad that humans always choose to focus on the negative. Someone could show they love another person or a thing all the time, and the few times they do something towards that person/thing that others perceive as the opposite of love, they'll latch onto it and conclude that person doesn't actually love the person/thing. And the other times they show that love won't matter to them anymore.

The same way someone can be infinitely kind, patient and self-less but the one time they snap and express anger for some reason, people will be like "yep this is their real personality, these are their true colours, they were just pretending the whole time"

I’m procrastinating and avoiding doing something rn so I’ll go ahead and give this a long and serious answer even though I’m not super keen on asks like this. I think other people have probably already addressed this topic a lot better than me, but I’d like to spend a minute defending JK since I’ve already addressed the way fandom treats JM a few times on here.

First of all, it’s always JK having to go through this because JK sits at the center of the two most popular ships in an extremely toxic shipping culture where they are constantly fighting over his validation. That’s why his words and actions face the most amount of scrutiny and why they’re weaponized more often than any of the other members (even though it still does happen with other members). I think it’s really as simple as that. tkkrs especially are constantly twisting his words and actions painting him as a villain because Jikook makes them insecure, which is the same reason why they think JM is evil incarnate.

JJKs are half tkkrs, half Y/N’s (or kpop stans who hate and have always hated BTS) and they hate JM more than anything because on top of shipping, he’s also JK’s “main competition”. Of course they want to think that JK hates JM as much as they do when most of them are constantly projecting onto him. I’ll also add that there are a lot of JM/TH overly biased shippers who take everything JK says and does extremely personally too, and then they get their feelings irrationally hurt and take it out on Jungkook. A lot of ex-jkkr PJMs are extra vicious to him because of stuff like this too.

I’m not sure why you think these people are making rational objective observations that have any validity just because they consider themselves his “fans” when most of them are extremely biased and often have some sort of agenda when claiming that he doesn’t like Jimin.

The vast majority of examples of JK being “rude” are just projection and people taking everything he does in bad faith too. I don’t know what examples you mean where JK was allegedly so “insensitive” towards Jimin tbh, because I just constantly see people exaggerating normal teasing and playing to seem like some massive evil thing. And if you’re talking about clips from 200 BCE when he was literally barely a teenager and they were all like that - I don’t think that’s fair to hold against him either.

But let’s say that JK had a moment where he was insensitive - so why isn’t he allowed to be human? Have you never had days where you’re tired, or grumpy, or don’t want to be touched, ever had a moment where you were unintentionally a bit insensitive, a joke that fell flat or came out meaner than intended? Never gotten shy, self-conscious or distracted? Ever had a disagreement with friends? Gotten a little too competitive?

And it’s not just JK who has had these moments btw, it’s all the members because they’re human and none of them are perfect, they’re allowed to experience occasional negative emotions, allowed to have bad days, or quiet days, or days they don’t want to be touched, or are a little snippy with each other. I can't even begin to imagine having to navigate that kind of environment while dealing with my own negative emotions and having everything recorded, picked apart, and weaponized like that.

I feel like you’re basically saying that JK is never allowed to have an off day, and he’s never allowed to be in a bad mood, or say no to something he doesn’t feel like doing? He also can’t tease vmin or be sassy with them the way they are with each other, or the way most of us are with our own friends & family? He can’t get a little shy with JM either? He can only be happy and positive 100% of the time or risk validating psychos who want to claim he hates his bandmates? How is it his fault that people interpret everything he says and does with the most bad faith takes imaginable because of ship and stan wars?

Also I’m going to need a better example of JK not being willing to do something for Jimin because agreeing to go to Hawaii for a fun trip and sky-diving vs not wanting to go to the HYBE building (his workplace that he was mostly avoiding at the time) to sit on the floor and watch JM practice for hours is not really comparable. I don’t even think Jimin cared nearly as much as some people act, he was teasing JK and encouraging him to get out more and smiling throughout that entire exchange, it was never that serious tbh.

What gets me about that whole situation too is that JK was more outwardly supportive of JM during FACE era than he was for any other member, but it’s still not good enough for some people for some reason. And you’re talking about JK being willing to go to Hawaii, but didn’t he travel two more times with JM after JM came to him in NY? Didn’t he agree to JM’s show idea, all this on top of having an insane schedule? Not to mention the night before Jeju, did he not cook Jimin four servings of whatever food after a long plane ride simply because JM asked him to?

There are so many examples of antis taking JM’s obvious playful behavior and twisting it to paint him as a villain, so isn’t it vastly unfair to then turn around and do the same thing to JK? If we can recognize the absurdity in painting JM as an abuser because he reacted to JK’s scuzzi teasing by cursing and gentle roughhousing, shouldn’t we be able to apply the same kind of logic to the people trying to make JK seem like a bully over his reaction to JM purposefully riling him up over ham? Were the “insensitive” remarks you’re referring to ever that serious, or was it normal teasing, friendly jabs, and playful roughhousing? Why is it okay for you to interpret all JK moments in bad faith, blame him for it, and hold it against him forever, while not holding others to the same standards? Shouldn’t we be able to recognize the absurdity in interpreting either of their actions in such obvious bad faith?

I’m just going to have to heavily disagree that there’s ever been a logical objective basis in thinking that JK dislikes Jimin, or that he’s uncomfortable with him. I’m not talking about shipping, I mean the people who think that they’re not even friends, because that’s actually an insane thing to think, and no normal fan is going to look at JKs behavior, where he has had countless examples of encouraging, complimenting, having fun with, and supporting Jimin - who he literally enlisted together with - and then think that they don’t like each other, or that they have a bad relationship, or that JK is annoyed with or dislikes JM. What normal, rational person would actually think that JK would enlist with someone who made him uncomfortable? 99% of the things people use against JK are just normal friendly teasing, and I don’t think he should be expected to act like a friendless robot in fear of a handful of weirdos twisting his words so they can be shady and nasty towards Jimin on social media.

And honestly if people don't like JK's personality or how he comes off that's their right but it's also just their personal opinion, they shouldn't project that on JM who clearly doesn't mind and seems to really enjoy their dynamic a lot. If he didn't like it, he would call it out. Instead he has zero worries about fighting with JK in the military despite Jin's cautioning that even friends of ten years end up fighting. I've seen the hot and cold thing before, and maybe I'm just mostly coming up blank because I'm not one of those jkkrs with encyclopedic knowledge, but I think any moments like that were really not so serious to hold such a grudge over, or to be interpreted so extremely and then used to justify such illogical takes.

Also you’re saying that JJKs interpreting JKs words and actions shadily means something, but you know that PJMs have done the same thing with Jimin right? Like it was PJMs who started that whole thing during Yoongi’s concert trying to imply that JM shaded JK when he said ARMYs were having more fun that night. Also I’ve seen PJMs posting that quote where JM said he was being careful about what he posts online while in the military to shade other members (and then they got mad when iirc KTHs took it personally lol). I also remember PJMs hyping up the fact that Jimin didn’t post for Seven (until he posted JKs hot100 #1). And I remember the whole debacle of that music show hug where both KTHs/PJMs were acting like it was the coldest, most impersonal hug they’ve ever seen and proof the two were no longer friends only for all that to be followed by vicnic and a lot of vmin moments. I can't remember the exact context but I think they've tried to do this with YG too. Solos projecting their negative feelings onto whoever they bias is not anything new, and it’s not something that only happens with JK. Pretty sure a lot of PJMs and some JM biased spent a good chunk of CH2 trying to push the narrative that JM was purposefully distancing himself from tkk because a lot of them simply wanted it to be true, only for the last half of the year to be the literal opposite of that. I've also seen a few PJMs push the fanservice narrative despite that literally being something he receives an insane amount of hate for.

It’s also extremely typical to see stans projecting mean girl personalities onto whoever they bias, I see people do it with groups all the time. Hell, ARMYs just did the same thing with JK’s comment about APT mentioning only Bruno implying he was shading Rose when I sincerely doubt that was his intention. That’s just how people operate in stan spaces, and it’s not the fault of the idols. Another example being aespa, those girls seem like they’re friends with half the industry and yet I constantly see their stans trying to pretend they’re shading every other group.

JJKs being what they are is probably a whole other discussion but no I do not blame JK for his solos being like that at all (just like I would never blame JM for PJMs). He also has a lot of token stans and success stans who don’t even like or respect him as a person, so no I don’t think they understand his personality or have any rational basis in interpreting his words and actions so negatively.

Anyway it's sad that humans always choose to focus on the negative. Someone could show they love another person or a thing all the time, and the few times they do something towards that person/thing that others perceive as the opposite of love, they'll latch onto it and conclude that person doesn't actually love the person/thing. And the other times they show that love won't matter to them anymore. The same way someone can be infinitely kind, patient and self-less but the one time they snap and express anger for some reason, people will be like "yep this is their real personality, these are their true colours, they were just pretending the whole time"

Anyways, I totally agree with this? Which is why your ask has me a bit confused (like is this bait to get me to yap in defense of JK 😭). Isn’t this like the perfect example of victim blaming then, because you’re saying it’s JKs fault that people are choosing to overlook all the good and nice things he does or says to focus on only their negative interpretation instead. Maybe your point is you feel that JK is genuinely being rude or insensitive, which is where I disagree, because imo 99% of the time it’s people choosing to misinterpret his actions to fit their narrative/agenda, and the 1% is normal, human emotion and all seven of them have had their moments.

Jungkook shouldn’t be held to impossible standards just because toxic fans exist, he doesn’t deserve to be dehumanized like that. I just fundamentally do not believe that he or any of the members need to cater to these types of fans, I don’t think they should have to live their lives being paranoid about what they say and do being taken out of context and twisted to that extent. Again, the only people who think that JK hates Jimin are super baised solos and shippers, not normal average fans, and JK shouldn’t have to alter his behavior to cater to those people who will most definitely find a way to twist his words and actions regardless of what he says or does, antis even do this with BTS in general, with Namjoon especially for fanwars all the time trying to twist his words. None of the members should ever be held at fault for their toxic solos or shippers.

anyways, I never found the right moment to post this video, but it's vaguely relevant here so I'll go ahead and add it. every time the discourse about the members being rude to each other pops up I think of this ProZD video about friends

edit: edited paragraph eleven for clarity 🫡

[werewolfoffeverswamp]

there’s something so alluring about the idea of living in a perpetual horror movie to me. like a time loop. specifically a paranormal one where you could never make it out alive. in the same sense of “heaven is a place where nothing really happens” (from the talking heads song Heaven), being trapped in a story where there’s only one ending and you suffer through whatever horrors are laid out for you (but they are laid out exactly as they are and always will be, and they are laid out for YOU) sounds like. morbidly peaceful. no need to worry what happens next, you already know. and you’ve done it a hundred times. of course you’re in pain but it’s intimately familiar and maybe you don’t even register your suffering anymore. and you’re not preoccupied by your performance in this dance anymore either— it feels like whatever you do, the same events occur, but you’re an actor in a story and you never had free will to begin with. anyways. it just sounds kind of nice 👍

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

Remember in the Alex hirshe comic con thingy he mentioned that Bill would also watch The Duchess approves

Soooooo would that mean that Stanfraud would watch cheesy old lady soap operas with Stanley?

Also has there been moments where Bill conceplated what will happen when he gets back to his body, what will happen to this family (while not his) that has become attached to.

Another thing I was thinking is how betrayed would Ford feel that Stanley was essentially playing house with Bill and how much anger would he feel at Bill for taking away time he could have had spent with his grand-niece and nephew, and with his brother?

This au is so incredibly interesting >v<!!!

They absolutely watch cheesy soap operas together — all the time. It’s become their thing, honestly.

Bill definitely catches Stan writing his erotic fan fiction (canon information on the website) and will never let him live it down — ever. He does offer to proofread though! But Stan threatens to play synthesised music to get rid of him.

As for Bill’s thoughts on getting his own body back. It’s always been there in the back of his mind, usually as a positive. Finally, he can be free of this annoying skin puppet and get back to prepping for weirdmaggedon. Finally, he can be himself again! But, as the reality of it draws closer, he begins to experience hesitance, which he wasn’t quite ready for. Why would he be hesitant? He’s waited thirty years for this!

(His eyes tend to linger on the two photos Stan keeps down in the basement, one of the twins, and one of everyone: him, Stan, Wendy, Soos, and again, the twins).

Stan also feels a sense of… sadness, maybe? He isn’t quite sure what it is. But there’s something hanging over both of them as they’ve almost figured it out, and, despite the complications behind their friendship, Stan can’t help but ask:

“You’re not gonna just… disappear, are yah? Kids’ll miss you if you did.”

‘I’d miss you’ goes unsaid.

And Bill probably has to pause for a second, caught off guard. Stan swears he almost catches a glimpse of sadness in his eyes, but it’s gone too fast, and Bill forces a grin.

“Oh please, Fez. You couldn’t get rid of me, even if you tried!”

There’s an uncertainty in his voice. Stan doesn’t comment on it.

Honestly, thinking about Weirdmaggedon, I don’t think Bill would be ready to accept how drastically he’s changed yet, even now, and would try to prove this by sticking with it. Albeit, he makes some changes. He doesn’t have to put the Pines in danger! They can be V.I.Ps! Shooting Star’s already a servant of chaos as is, he can let her whip up some creations to terrorise the town! And for Pinetree? Weirdmaggedon would be a front row seat to Gravity Falls’ weirdness on full display. With so much to study, how could he hate it? And Fez hates the law as is, why not let him be above it. Surely he’d appreciate the gesture after all they’ve been through together. A little token of his appreciation. And Sixer… well, he’ll come around once he sees just how safe Bill is keeping their his family. Maybe he’ll even throw Ice and Question Mark in the mix, just to cover all his bases.

Rationalising like that… it makes him a little less hesitant about getting his body back.

He doesn’t tell Stan of course, or anybody, even after it’s revealed who and what he is. It has to be a surprise!

And finally, Ford.

He honestly makes me really upset in this au, because you’re 100% right. He hasn’t just lost 30 years of his own life, he’s also lost 30 years of family. He’s missed his parents’ funerals, the birth of his grand niece and nephew, etc. And apparently, Stanley knew how dangerous Bill was, read all of Ford’s warnings and scattered notes, and still let him be around the kids, still played house with him all those years.

How has Bill manipulated him? He thought Stanley was smarter than that!

He can’t even be happy to bond with his niece and nephew, because they’ve been deceived into thinking he was someone else for months — Bill, no less!

Honestly, it hurts the most when he truly accepts Stan hasn’t been manipulated. He isn’t doing this because he’s been backed into a corner, even if it started off that way. He’s genuinely bonded with that monster. So have the kids. So have the townsfolk who Ford struggled so hard with to connect with.

It’s a lot of salt being rubbed into open wounds.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Family Matters

Inspired by this post; in the same universe as this

Warnings: non/dubcon, cheating, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Thor Odinson

Summary: your new husband's brother surprises you with a visit.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

The doorbell rings again and you barrel so quickly down the stairs, you nearly topple off the bottom step. You catch your breath and grab the post at the bottom of the banister to steady yourself. It’s a splendid house but you told Loki it’s too big for just the two of you. He didn’t like that so you didn’t mention it again, even though it feels empty with how much he’s not around. 

You let those worries slake off of you and hurry to the door. It could be another surprise! Loki hates leaving you for so long so he tries to fill the void with gifts. Sometimes, they make you feel better, other times, you’re just sad. You’d rather have him there. 

It’s not a courier but a familiar face. Your brother-in-law. It’s official as of one month ago. You’re family. 

“Oh, hi,” you deflate, trying not to show your disappointment. You’re not upset it’s him, you just hate being the one to say, “Loki’s not in.” 

Thor smiles. He’s rarely unhappy. “Ah, that’s unfortunate. Where is off to, then?” 

“Work,” you grumble the repetitive explanation. “Important project or something.” 

“Important enough to leave you alone?” He wonders. 

“I... guess,” you try not to mope. Loki says it make you look childish. 

“Well, I am much in the same boat. Alone,” he laughs hollowly. 

“Oh, yes, I... how are you doing?” You ask. “I didn’t get a chance to thank you for coming to the wedding. Really, I know it must’ve been difficult.” 

“I couldn’t miss my brother’s special day,” he shakes his head. “It was a day for love. Wasn’t your fault mine decided to leave...” 

Your heart breaks for him. The day you were married, Frigga told you what happened. A hug fight right after your rehearsal dinner. Jane left before the morning. Despite all that, Thor didn’t show a hint of grief at the wedding. 

“It’s too bad. I liked Jane.” 

“Needless to say, I did too,” he smiles thinly. “Well, I hope I didn’t disturb you very much. I suppose I could come calling tomorrow and hope my brother isn’t too busy for the likes of me.” 

Your heart rents for him. Here you are, a new marriage, a husband to long for, and he lost his girlfriend of five years. You don’t have much else going on, it would be nice to have someone there. 

“Did you wanna hang around for a bit?” You ask. “Not much going on but... this place is eerie when you’re all alone.” 

“Hm, did Loki say when he would return? Wouldn’t mind waiting around a bit,” he suggests. 

“I hope soon but he didn’t say,” you shrug. “Yesterday he wasn’t home until midnight.” 

“Midnight? He would make you wait so long? A lovely young wife like you?” He scoffs. “Well, that is just terrible. I will not commit the same crime as my brother. I’d love to come in.” 

“Alright,” you smile. “I... we could put something on? I was going to watch the new season of the true crime show.” 

“Ha,” he enters as you step back to let you through. “That wouldn’t help being alone, would it?” 

“I guess not,” you giggle. “We could watch something else. A comedy. I’ve been rewatching Friends. For the hundredth time.” 

“Whatever you like,” he slips his shoes off and puts them on the mat. “The only words a woman like you needs to hear, eh?” 

You laugh again, “do you want snacks? I got some caramel corn and gummy bears.” 

“My brother let you bring those in his house?” He wonders. 

“It’s our house,” you face him with a pout as you stand in the broad archway to the front room. 

“Yes, you are correct. My apologies,” he follows. “You know, he only hates those sugary treats because he is weak to them. Be sure to hide them well or you might find some missing.” 

“No, he never wants any,” you continue into the front room. 

“So he wants you to believe,” Thor counters. 

“How about drinks? We got a bunch of wine from the wedding. Some scotch?” 

“I only really indulge in lager and I'm not of the mood for it,” he assures. “I could help with the snacks.” 

“No, no, sit,” you grab the remote and hold it out to him. “Find something to watch. I’m so indecisive I just flick through the menu for an hour.” 

“I will do my best,” he accepts it. His hand dwarfs you own as his fingers brush across yours. Loki’s hands are long, but not as thick. 

You push your shoulders up and spin around to flit off to the kitchen. You scurry away and slide into the kitchen. You go to the cupboard and take down the bag of caramel corn. You pour some in a bowl then grab the package of gummy bears and a box of cream cookies. 

As you come back to the living room, Thor leans forward to set the down the remote. You put the treats on the glass table and sit on the other end of the couch. You only realise then how awkward it is. You’ve never really been alone with him. 

“Thank you. So sweet of you to have me,” he says as he twines his fingers together. “I feel as if everyone has been avoiding me since Jane. I fear I might be a bit... melancholy.” 

“Oh, uh, yeah,” you glance at the TV as it plays an intro to a show you don’t know, “well, how can anyone blame you? You’re going through so much.” 

“I’m an adult, these things happen,” he says. 

“Sure, they do, but I mean, it still hurts. It’s not easy,” you insist. “I can’t even imagine what you’re going through.” 

“Ugh,” he puts his elbows on his legs and cradles his head. “I don’t mean to bring my dark cloud in here.” He rubs his temple. “Truly, I think I’ve been trying to outrun it but... what else can I think of with only an empty home to go to?” 

“Oh, Thor,” you sidle closer on the cushions. You gently touch his arm. His bicep is a lot bigger against your hand. “It’s okay. You can’t hold it in forever. It's good to feel these things. Once you get through that, you can move on and I’m sure you’ll find the right one.” 

He sniffles and you flinch. He quakes against your touch and your chest knots. You never imagined him crying. Especially not a man his size. You don’t know what else to do but comfort him. You rub his shoulder and he huddles over further and wipes his face. 

His long blond locks conceal his tears as he mops his sadness away with his knuckles. You hum and get even closer, your hand trailing up his back. 

“Thor, I'm sorry. It feels so cruel, I know. Especially the timing of it--” 

He startles you as he leans against you. You let out an ‘oop’ as he turns to embrace you, curling his shoulders and hunching to put his head on your shoulder. You have no choice but to let him. 

“Oh, it’s been awful,” he snivels. “I’ve been so lonely.” 

“Shhh, let it out, that’s okay,” you rub his back and stare at the wall. You certainly didn’t expect the night to go like this. 

He holds you tight as he cries against you, his body heaving. You know Loki isn’t the best for these sorts of things so you’re happy at least he trusts you enough to listen. That’s about as much as you can do. 

“You won’t believe how cruel she was,” Thor rasps. “She just yelled and yelled. She shoved me and—she just kept accusing me.” 

“Accusing you? Of what?” 

He’s quiet for a moment. He lifts his head to look at you, his arm across your back. “Of wanting another.” 

“Oh?” You blink in surprise. 

“I told her no, no, I did not, but she kept saying “I see it! I see it in your face!” And I swore to her, no, no,” He wipes his face with his other hand, “but now I’m afraid she might have been right.” 

“She... who?” You frown. 

His arm wraps around you, his fingers dipping into your side and in a moment, the couch shifts beneath you. You cannot resist as surprise paralyses you. Thor lifts you easily onto his lap, turning you and sliding you to sit on his thighs. 

“Woah, uh, whaat--” You press your hand to his chest. “Please, Thor, you’re emotional--” 

“She was right, kitten, you are so soft, so gentle, and I could not look away. She caught me--” 

“No, no, you can’t-- Loki--” 

“Loki leaves you alone. He would rather work than stay and adore his precious wife,” He cups your chin and forces you to look at him. “He would abandon you...” he leans in as his eyes fall to your lips, “and leave you unkissed.” 

You try to pull back but you’re trapped in his embrace. He squeezes you close and crushes his lips to yours. You squeal and struggle against him, finally turning your head so his mouth smears across your cheek. 

“Untouched,” his hand trails down your neck and you clasp onto two of his fingers, straining to keep him from going lower. “Unloved--” 

“Thor, stop, let me go--” 

He leans over so your back is on the cushion, his arm beneath you as your legs are folded up over his. He is on his side next to you. His large hand comes back to frame your face and he squeezes to keep you from squirming. You tug as his shirt and whine. 

“Thor, please, stop. We can forget--” 

“I can’t forget,” he growls and nuzzles your nose. You whimper and push against his chest again. He is stone, he is unmoving, and you know you cannot stop him. “I will never forget how you feel against me, kitten.” 

[punkshort]

i’m the anon who asked about the request! if you decide to do it, i’d absolutely wait forever😂 it’s very angsty tho, so the idea was for outbreak joel who doesn’t get the happy ending. reader who was head over heels in love coping with his death, maybe flashbacks to show the moments of reader seeing him die? idkidk the idea is very vague, sorry if it’s too sad!! if so maybe reader seeing him die was just a terrible nightmare & he’s there waking them up & helping them through a meltdown?

i’ve been craving for some emotional torture for wtv reason😭😭 thank you for even considering requests!🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

Thank you for this request! It's my first one, so I hope you enjoy it. Also, I had to take the out you gave me and make this a nightmare because I am a big ol' softie and I won't apologize for it, but I will apologize for taking so long to write it 😂

I hate when you're right

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: After a heated argument with Joel, you finally convince him into leaving Jackson so you could explore a store for new clothes, and what happens could change your life forever.

Warnings: major character (Joel) death - but it is just a nightmare - don't read if you think that will still upset you, angst, language, violence, descriptions of blood/gore/death scene

WC: 2.5K

dividers by the one and only @saradika-graphics

You knew it was childish. You knew it wasn't essential. But you also desperately wanted to feel more comfortable, and was that really such a crime? To want to feel like yourself again? To want to wear clothes that you liked? That fit you properly? Jackson was well stocked with essentials, clothes included, but the clothes the men picked up on patrol were... utilitarian, to say the least. They grabbed the biggest and the warmest clothes so that it afforded more people the opportunity to use them, but you were beginning to grow tired of tucking men's oversized shirts into your pants, the material bunching up at your waist and twisting around as you walked, constantly trying and failing to feel comfortable in your own skin.

You thought Joel would be more open to the idea of heading outside the walls on your day off. You even teased him with the promise of picking up some new underwear, but he didn't fall for it. He fought you tooth and nail the whole evening, his voice lifting over yours angrily to explain how there's been an influx of raiders the past few weeks, that everyone agreed to lay low until they passed through, not wanting to draw attention or pick any unwanted fights. But you persisted. You always did, and you eventually wore him down when you threatened to leave without him.

Why was it such a crime to want to feel comfortable? It was just two people, you could lay low and go unseen, no problem. You've done it countless times before.

You had hoped he would have gotten over it by morning, but you were wrong. He hardly made eye contact with you during breakfast, skirting expertly around you in your kitchen, mumbling under his breath as he sipped his coffee and only shooting you angry looks when your back was turned.

The air was crisp and the woods were peaceful. You thought that would surely turn his mood around. He always appreciated being out with nature, living off the land. As much as he loved living in Jackson, he couldn't deny that part of himself that felt useful, that felt a sense of accomplishment by surviving out in the wild.

"C'mon, are you really gonna act like this all day?" you teased as you held up another shirt against your body before determining it was the right size and then tossed it in a pile with the others.

He was standing at the storefront window with his arms crossed and his jaw clenched. "Don't know what you mean."

You rolled your eyes and looked around the store, spotting a table of underwear with a grin. You lightly skipped over and tossed to the side the pairs that looked far too dusty so you could look at the ones underneath. Clearing your throat, you held up a pair of bright red stain underwear. He turned around and you saw it: it was fast, he hid it well, but you still saw it. That all too familiar excited look in his eye.

"Don't you like them?" you asked with a playful pout. He furrowed his brow at you like he was annoyed, and maybe he was, but you still saw the heat beginning to crawl up his neck.

"They ain't practical."

You gave him a defeated sigh and strolled over to your pile of clothes, your fingertips daintily holding the undergarment out to him. "No? Then what are they?"

His eyes shifted from yours to the red material in your hand and you saw his throat work as he swallowed.

"Useless," he croaked, and you narrowed your eyes at him. You got a little closer, letting the soft fabric glide against the back of his hand when you dropped your arm to your side.

"Oh, yeah?" you said breathily, and you watched his eyelids flutter at your tone. "Then I guess it wouldn't matter if I brought them home and let you rip them off me."

He stepped forward, a growl emitting from his chest, low and deep, when at the exact same time, you both heard shouting outside the store. Swiveling both your heads towards the glass storefront, your blood ran cold when you saw six heavily armed men advancing towards you.

"Shit," he muttered, his arm pulling your shoulder down just in time to avoid the cascade of bullets that rained down upon you. You laid face down on the rough carpet, covering the back of your head with your eyes squeezed shut, waiting for the shooting to stop. Joel tugged on your arm and you opened your eyes in a panic.

"Follow me!" he shouted, army crawling towards the registers, and you dutifully followed behind, your heart racing wildly in your chest.

Once you made it, the counter offering some, but not much, safety, the both of you pulled out your guns and double checked your ammo.

"Alright, when they stop to reload-"

"I know," you said, cutting him off. You've both been in this situation before. You knew what to do.

Holding your rifle upright and against your chest, you breathed deep, trying to steady your hands until the bullets slowed and you heard more shouting. Joel nodded to you and you both sprung up from the floor, pulling your rifles against your bodies in sync and lining up your targets.

Patience is a virtue. The amount of ammunition they wasted on the two of you was laughable when you each caught one of them between the eyes, leaving four against two.

You thought you would be able to get another shot off but Joel tugged your arm and you slinked back to the floor as a shower of bullets rained over you once again.

"You good?" he asked, and you nodded, gasping for air. Your hands began to stabilize when the shock wore off. You were in the zone.

Pressing both your backs against the small counter, you remained calm and waited out your attackers. Glass shards tinkled and scattered behind you. Bullets pinged against the metal shelving, ricocheting into the drywall.

"Assault rifles for two people? Really?" you muttered, more so to yourself, but Joel heard you.

"Told you this was a bad fuckin' idea," he said angrily.

When there was another brief pause, he looked to you again and nodded. At the same time, you rose up and took aim, firing on your attackers once again. Joel made his shot, you didn't. Three down, three to go.

"Fuck," you grumbled, reloading your rifle even though you still had rounds left.

"Focus," he scolded.

The men sounded like they were getting closer. Their voices were louder. Clearer. The shots were deafening. You prayed they weren't inside the store, because you hadn't planned an exit strategy. Without warning, Joel stood up and fired a shot. You heard a man scream and then a loud thud. It sounded like the man was just on the other side of the counter.

"That's not the plan," you seethed at him when he dropped back down next to you.

"Didn't have a choice, he was 'bout to jump us," he sneered.

Two against two.

When the shots slowed down, you held your breath, looking at Joel from the corner of your eye. He held his palm up to you silently, signaling for you to stay where you were. You heard boots crunching slowly against glass and your heart leapt into your throat. They were in the store.

You shot Joel a panicked look but he just shook his head, focusing on their footsteps, calculating how far away they were.

"Come out now and no one gets hurt," a man's deep voice called out. He was close.

Joel clenched his jaw and flared his nostrils. You knew that look. It was the look of a man who was about to do something stupid. But before you could stop him, before you could reach out to him and hold him back, he stood up and took aim.

One shot. That was all you heard when Joel slumped to the floor next to you, clutching his stomach as dark red blood poured from the wound. Your eyes went wide and you saw red. Without thinking, you stood up and shot, taking one of the two men down with a yelp. The remaining raider ducked behind a display, and you dropped your rifle in favor of your handgun. Crouching low to the ground, you inched forward, careful of any broken glass that would give your position away. When you were on the other side of the display, you heard the man's labored breaths. He was scared. He was out of his element. And you had him right where you wanted him.

Silently tucking the gun in the back of your pants, you slid your hunting knife out from your ankle holster. You took a deep breath and lunged forward, driving the knife deep into the man's chest.

He dropped his gun and clutched weakly at your hands, but it was no use. His blood poured from the wound when you yanked your knife out with a grunt, and you watched as his hands slowly slid back down to his sides, his eyes still wide open and staring up at the ceiling.

You smirked, feeling victorious for only a moment before you remembered Joel. Dropping your knife, you rushed back to his side, only to find his face pale and his hands stained dark red.

"Joel!" you cried out, pressing your palms against the wound, hoping to slow the bleeding. His eyes drifted towards you, softening when he saw you were alive and unharmed. That you were going to make it.

Panic consumed you. Your heart was slamming against your ribs as you fumbled with your backpack, trying to find your first aid kit through the tears.

"I love you," he whispered, and you shook your head.

"Don't start with that, you're gonna be fine."

"Baby," he said weakly, and you choked back a sob.

"Hold on," you told him, still searching in your pack.

"Look at me," he said, and your hands stilled for a moment before you dragged your eyes back to him, your lower lip trembling as you took in his deteriorating state.

"I need to-" you began, but stopped to take in a shaky breath. "I need to patch you up and get you to the horses."

"No, you don't," he said softly, and more tears spilled from your eyes.

"Yes, I do. I gotta-"

"I ain't gonna make it, sweetheart," he slurred, and you could see by the amount of blood he was losing that he was right. But still, you pressed your palms against the gunshot wound, your fingers slipping through his thick and sticky blood.

"Don't say that. I can't do this without you," you whimpered, and closed your eyes for a brief moment. You felt his fingertips weakly grip your chin and you forced your eyes back open.

"Yes, you can," he said as firmly as he could. He was so pale and weak and it was making your stomach turn.

You shook your head, about to argue with him, but he stopped you.

"You keep goin', you hear me?" he said, and still, you shook your head from side to side, small sobs slipping past your lips. "Don't let this world win. You... go on and keep fightin'. Please. Be happy, baby. For me."

"No!" you cried out, spittle dripping from your lips now, mixing with your tears. "I won't! I-I can't!"

"You can," he repeated, and gave you a weak smile. "I'm ready, baby. It'll be okay."

You squeezed your eyes shut tight, the tears leaking out, hot and angry on your cheeks as you sobbed over him, clutching his hand in yours so tightly, like if you squeezed hard enough, you could give him your lifeforce. Give him your breath. But moments later, his grip weakened and when you opened your eyes, his head slumped to the side and his lifeless eyes stared off into the distance.

"Joel!" you screamed, sitting up in bed, drenched in sweat with tears still streaming down your face. You looked to your side, where he normally slept, but he wasn't there. Panic squeezed your throat, your chest fucking hurt, but you flung the blankets off you and ran towards the door. Still not hearing any sounds, you raced down the stairs, almost tripping in the process but you had a grip on the railing to keep you steady.

When your eyes finally landed on his familiar form stretched out on the couch, his back to you, you allowed yourself to breathe a sigh of relief.

Reality came back to you now. You had your fight about leaving Jackson, but he won and you slept apart. You never left. He never got shot. It was all just a horrible dream.

You stumbled over to the couch, your tears unstoppable, the nightmare too vivid, too real. Your trembling hands clutched his shoulder as you fell to your knees on the floor, shaking him awake.

"What?" he grumbled, clearly still pissed off about your fight.

"I'm sorry!" you sobbed loudly, and when he realized something was wrong, he whipped around to face you.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice still thick with sleep.

"I-I had-" you began, then you hiccupped, cutting yourself off. His face was etched with concern as he forced himself up and cupped your face.

"C'mon, talk to me," he urged, the fear in his eyes reflecting back to you as you looked at him, still not sure what was real and what wasn't.

"I had a nightmare," you finally managed to get out. "About our fight. That we... we went out like I wanted and-and-" you collapsed into another fit of sobs, your shoulders shaking violently.

"Hey, it's alright," he soothed, pulling you up and into his lap and rubbing your back. You pressed your tear stained face into his neck, inhaling deeply, grounding yourself. He was alive. He was here. Everything was fine.

"I'm sorry," you whimpered, your throat still tight but your tears were slowing down. "I'm sorry we fought. I don't wanna go out anymore. I don't need new clothes, it was stupid, I'm sorry."

"Shh, it's okay," he said, pulling you tightly against his chest, "I'm sorry we fought, too. I just wanna keep us safe."

"I know, you're right," you said, pulling back a bit and wiping your nose with the back of your hand. "Will you come back to bed?"

"Yeah," he replied with half a smirk. "'Course I'll come back to bed, baby. Don't cry, it's alright."

You let him lead you up the stairs and to your bedroom, your side of the bed still damp with sweat but it didn't bother you. Joel was safe and sound and in your arms and you didn't care if you had to wear a potato sack for the rest of your life, as long as you had Joel, nothing else mattered.

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[tortillamastersblog]

♕ No Matter What - Part 17 | Lena Luthor ♕

Pairing: Lena Luthor x reader

Warnings: mature content, cursing, and slight angst (if you squint)

Summary: Lex is gone for good and Lena returns. . .

Previous Part | Masterlist

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Lena looks nervous when she steps past me into the apartment, but then her eyes land on my crutch and her eyes fill with tears.

Her chin wobbles and she holds out her hands as if to touch me before lowering them again, thinking better of it when I take a step back. “Y/N. . .”

I swallow thickly and close the door, limping toward the couch. “What do you want?” I ask, my voice coming out hoarse.

She left when I needed her the most and even though her green eyes still make my stomach flip when they meet mine, I can’t prevent all the pent up hurt and anguish from clawing at my throat.

Lena doesn’t say anything, her eyes just dance between me and all the half-packed boxes around the living room.

“I’m serious, Lena,” I repeat myself, “what are you doing here?”

Her tear filled eyes meet mine and instead of answer she just whispers, “You’re leaving?”

I scoff and avert my eyes, picking at a loose thread on one of the throw pillows. “What do you care?”

“What do you mean? I care about you,” she says quietly, the hurt evident in her voice.

I swallow the growing lump in my throat and look up to stare at her incredulously. “You do? Well, I guess then you have a very unique way of showing it.”

There’s no bite behind my words, only sadness and a little frustration.

Lena bites her lower lip and looks down, ashamed. “I-I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“You’re sorry?” I ask, my voice low. “Is that all you have to say after disappearing off the face of the Earth when I needed you the most?”

“I—No, Y/N. You don’t understand,” she stutters, wringing her hands. “What Lex did— It’s my fault. You were shot because of me and I blamed myself for it, so I stayed away. But then I realized how selfish I was being, and I was only keeping my distance because I couldn’t face you and the guilt that came with seeing you hurt. That was a week after what happened and I wanted to come see you, but by then I thought I was too late. I’d stayed away too long and I was afraid that if I saw you again you’d hate me and I couldn’t bear it, so I left.”

I press the heels of my hands against my eyes and take a deep breath. “Lena. . . I don’t blame you for what happened. It’s not your fault.”

I hear her take a breath, probably ready to object, but I continue before she can say anything.

“But I needed you. . .” I whisper. “I was hurt and worried and just wanted to see you, and you weren’t there.”

I drop my hands into my lap and look at Lena who’s watching me with silent tears streaming down her rosy cheeks. She hasn’t even taken off her winter coat yet and seeing her this uncomfortable and unsure in my space tugs at my heart.

“Even my father showed up,” I add with a pained half-smile. “My father, Lena. . .”

Lena’s mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water before her entire face crumbles and she starts sobbing into her hands. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry-sorry.”

She hiccups and breaks down in front of me and it only takes a whisperd You deserve so much better than me for me to get up and take her into my arms.

She flinches at the fist touch, shaking in the embrace, but then she starts sobbing against my neck, her arms finding their way around my middle.

Her nose is cold against my skin and makes me shiver and the sound of her whimpers and sniffles makes me tear up as well.

“That’s not true,” I murmur against her temple.

Lena pushes her face further into my neck and shakes her head. “It is. I keep hurting you, and all you do is worry about me and keep me from feeling bad about myself.”

I sigh and close my eyes, feeling a sense a peace wash over me when the smell of her lavender scented shampoo clouds my senses.

It is true, she’s hurt me more than once now, but neither times it was ill intent that drove her to do what she did. It was insecurity, guilt, and fear, and I, more than anyone else, knows what that’s like.

There are some things that are unforgivable, things like what my dad did and said to me, but this? I know, deep down in my heart that I will, in time, be able to forgive Lena for this.

Maybe not right now, and maybe not for a couple days, or weeks, or months even, but eventually I will.

I card my fingers through Lena’s hair and press my cheek against her temple. “You’ve hurt me, yes, and it probably won’t be the last time, but there will come a time when I’m the one hurting you,” I whisper. “That’s how things go, just— Please believe me when I say that I don’t blame you for what Lex did.”

“Y/N. . .” she protests weakly but I shush her and press a kiss to the top of her head.

“It’s okay. We’re going to be okay, but I need some time away from everything. I have to figure out who I want to be and what I want to do,” I say, still running my fingers through her hair.

Lena nods slowly and pulls back so her bloodshot eyes can meet mine. “But you’re coming back, right?”

I smile and cup her cheeks, my stimach flipping when she leans into the touch. “Of course. No matter what.”

Lena exhales shakily. “When are you leaving?”

I look at the boxes scattered around the living room and bite the inside of my cheek before answering. “The day after tomorrow.”

“W-What?” She doesn’t pull away, but she tightens her grip around my middle. “But it’s Christmas in a week.”

I cringe, hearing her say it like that, as though she was planning on spending it with me, but I deliberately set everything up this way because my parents will most definitely try to stop by on Christmas and by then I want to be gone already.

“This is just because of your parents?” she asks after I explain my reasoning and I nod, watching as she frowns in thought.

“So if it weren’t for them you’d stay a little longer?” she probes and I nod again, not entirely sure where she’s going with this until she says, “I’m not trying to convince you to stay for good, but if this is really just because of your parents would you— I don’t know— would you maybe consider staying just a little longer? Just until Christmas is over. . .You could even stay at my place— or Sam’s if that makes you more comfortable. That way you don’t have to worry about your parents showing up. I just— I really want to start making things up to you and I kinda already got you a gift.”

Caught off guard by her rambling, I take a step back with wide eyes.

She wants to spend Christmas with me?

I watch her fidget, unable to say anything until she begins backpedaling, obviously mistaking my stunned silence for rejection.

“O-Or not, you know, it’s up to you. I’m sorry. . .God, why am I so selfish. This is not about me. You should—“

“Hey, stop,” I cut her off gently, grabbing her hands to stop her wild gesturing.

She swallows thickly, her brows pulled together in embarrassment and I smile softly to ease her mind a bit.

“I can stay a little longer. I’ll just have to contact the movers to let them know about the change of plans.” I say.

Lena’s whole face lights up and in the blink of an eye her arms are thrown around my neck and she’s pulling me into a bone crushing hug. “Thank you. You can’t imagine how much that means to me.”

I chuckle lowly and return the embrace, running my hands up and down her back. “I don’t have a present for you though, so if that’s a problem for you I might have to reconsider.”

She laughs—full on laughs at that and the sound of it makes me grin. “You don’t have to get me anything. I just want you.”

I just want you. . .

Those words make my knees weak and my heart leap in my chest, and I close my eyes, savoring the moment.

Yeah, we’re definitely going to be okay.

“Hey guys!” Lena giggles, opening the door to her apartment to greet Sam, Ruby and me.

Since I’m still not entirely over her running away yet, I decided it would be best if I stayed with Sam, which is why I’ve been living in her guest bedroom for the last week.

Lena and I have gotten coffee and had lunch almost every day since then though, working through our issues and discussing where we want our relationship to go.

We decided not to get serious just yet because I need some more time to get over what happened and also because neither of us is a huge fan of long distance. We will be keeping in touch though and I promised her we’ll go on a real date once I get back.

Tonight is Christmas eve and Lena is hosting because she has the biggest apartment and when I glance past her while she’s pulling Sam and Ruby into a hug, I make out Kara, Winn, James and Alex, mingling by the fireplace next to the Christmas tree.

Surprisingly my parents haven’t tried to contact me yet, but I’m sure it will happen sooner rather than later. Especially when they go to my apartment and find it empty.

“Hey.” Lena’s soft voice brings me back to reality and I shift my eyes from inside the apartment to her.

She’s in a gorgeous, black, off shoulder dress and her dark hair has been styled to flow down her back in soft curls.

It makes me feel a little underdressed in my simple shirt and dress pants, but it’s what Sam picked out for me, so I guess I’ll just have to go with it.

“Lena,” I say, limping toward her on my crutch. “You look beautiful.”

She blushes with a coy smile and wraps her arms around my neck in a gentle hug. “Thank you. I’m happy you’re here. “

Her body is warm against mine and I squeeze her waist with the hand that’s not still holding onto the crutch before pulling back and pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Me too.”

Her sparkling green eyes meet mine and she drops her arms from around my neck just to take my hand into hers, interlacing our fingers.

I smile at the act and nod when she eyes me questioningly, letting her lead me into the apartment. By now everyone knows that I’m not just her former bodyguard, so I don’t mind the PDA as long as it doesn’t go any further than handholding and kisses on cheeks.

The lights are dimmed and soft Christmas music is playing from a record player by the lit fireplace. The tree next to it is decorated with fairy lights and classic red ornaments, and candles are lit on the set dining table.

“It smells great, Lena,” Sam says when we join everyone in the living room.

“Thanks, but I can’t take all the credit,” Lena deflects politely as she pulls me to sit on the couch with her. “Alex and Kara helped me cook.”

I smile and put my crutch down on the floor so no one trips over it, leaning back into the cushions without letting go of Lena’s hand.

Alex raises her glass in acknowledgment and Kara waves off the compliment. “It was really nothing,” she says and everyone chuckles.

“Of course you’d say that,” Alex teases. “All you did was put on a cooking playlist and taste test the yams.”

Kara’s jaw drops and she scoffs. “That’s not true!”

Lena hums next to me and when I look over I see her smirking at the younger Danvers sister. “You’re right. You also ate most of the marshmallows and almost burned down the kitchen trying to caramelize the walnuts.”

Everyone laughs at that and Kara rolls her eyes with a huff. “Alright, alright. Go ahead and laugh, but once you’re done can we please talk about the fact that Winn’s tie doesn’t match his shirt?”

“Huh?” Winn stops sipping from his beer and frowns down at his tie. “What’s wrong with my tie?”

“Nothing.”

“Everything.”

James playfully glares at Alex who smiles smugly over the rim of her wine glass.

After a beat of silence, Winn just shrugs and mumbles a whatever before the whole group returns to playfully bantering and chatting about nothing and everything.

I just sit back and relax, enjoying the familiarity of it all while running my thumb over the back of Lena’s hand.

She’s leaning against my side, chiming in on the conversation every now and then until the oven dings, signaling that dinner is ready.

“Yay! I’m starving,” Kara chirps, moving to the kitchen to take out the turkey. Alex follows her to help and James and Winn push themselves off the wall next to the fireplace to take a seat at the table.

“Can I sit next to you, Y/N?” Ruby asks and I nod.

“Of course kiddo.” I ruffle her hair and Sam smiles at me as she pulls her daughter off the couch and toward the table.

I bend down to grab my crutch, but before I can get to my feet Lena squeezes my hand, making me look at her.

“Are you okay?” she asks quietly, watching me with concern. “You’ve barely said anything. Is it your leg?”

I chuckle softly and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m okay. I promise. I’m just enjoying the moment and taking it all in. My leg is fine, I took a painkiller before we left.”

Lena’s green eyes search mine and she raises one hand to keep my own pressed against her cheek. “You sure?”

I nod with a reassuring smile. “Positive.”

“Okay then, let’s eat,” she says, kissing my palm before helping me to my feet.

I follow her to the table and take a seat next to Ruby just as Alex starts carving the turkey. James and Winn hand around the sides after serving themselves and Kara makes quick work of topping off all glasses of wine.

Lena takes a seat on my other side and pours me a glass of water before placing her hand on my thigh and squeezing gently.

It makes my skin tingle and a shiver run down my spine, but I try not to focus on it as Winn hands me the yams.

Once the turkey has been fully carved and everyone’s been served we dig in. The food is absolutely delicious, but I can’t help but glance at Lena every now and then, admiring the way the candle light flickers on her face and makes her eyes sparkle.

She notices me staring several times, but doesn’t comment on it. She just smiles shyly with a blush creeping up her neck and diverts her eyes to look her plate.

After dinner we settle on the couch on the living room and play some board games. Lena wins Monopoly twice, much to everyone’s dismay, but she loses horribly at Ludo a couple of times which results in Kara and Winn being extra smug even though they both only get second and third place every time.

Time passes in a blur and before we know it it’s already midnight.

Alex promised her girlfriend Maggie she’d spend Christmas morning with her which is why she leaves once we finish our last game of UNO. She’s followed shortly after by Winn and James who promised their families the same thing, which leaves Kara, Sam, Ruby and I to spend the night in one of Lena’s guest rooms.

“Good night, guys!” Kara waves and smiles at Lena and I, waiting for Sam and Ruby to join her since their rooms are one floor below ours.

I smile and wish Kara a good night as well and ignore the suggestive look Sam sends me when she passes Lena and me on the couch.

I’ve been chosen to take the guest room down the hall and even though it makes my heart beat faster that Lena wants me close to her, it suddenly also makes me feel kind of nervous.

Especially because Sam— with her suggestive look— obviously thinks something is going to happen between Lena and I and until now I hadn’t thought of that.

“Good night, Y/N,” Ruby whispers as she hugs me.

I squeeze her in my arms, trying to ignore the nervousness in the pit of my stomach and mumble, “Good night, Rubes. Merry Christmas.”

The girl smiles at me and joins her mom and Kara by the door. The three of them wave one last time before leaving, closing the door behind them.

I stare at the door somewhat longingly, wishing I could escape the sudden tension in the room, but then Lena’s hand is squeezing my knee, making me turn around and look at her.

“Don’t be nervous,” she says earnestly, somehow having read my mind. “Nothing is going to happen between us.”

I open my mouth, wanting to object and tell her that that’s not why I’m nervous but when she raises her eyebrow knowingly I snap my mouth shut with a sheepish grin and a timid nod.

“Look, I know it’s not the morning yet, but it technically is the 25th already, so if you don’t mind I’d like to give you your gift now rather than tomorrow morning when the others are around.” She rambles a bit and I smile at the fact that my nervousness has somehow shifted over to her.

“I’d like that, too,” I say lowly. Our eyes stay connected for a second longer, neither of us daring to move, but then Lena clears her throat and stumbles to her feet.

“Wait here,” she instructs with a gentle smile and I nod, settling back into the cushions of the couch.

It takes a couple of moments for Lena to return, but when she does the sound of something heavy being dragged over the floor is the first thing I hear before my eyes land on her rounding a corner.

“Lena, what the hell is that?” I chuckle and move to get up and help her but she just stares me down with a warning look until I settle back down onto the couch.

“It’s your present,” she pants, dragging the huge rectangular box all the way in front if me before setting it down on the ground.

She pushes the coffee table away so I have more space to unpack and returns to her spot on the couch next to me with a huff.

My eyes dart between her and the box and when I don’t make a move to unwrap it, Lena nudges me and says, “Well, what are you waiting for?”

I laugh softly and raise my hands in surrender before leaning forward and unwrapping the box.

The record player is still playing soft Christmas music and the fire crackles in the fireplace, sending a cloud sparks up the chimney every time a log shifts.

Lena watches me as I unwrap my present until the plain cardboard beneath the wrapping paper comes into view.

I chuckle at the added mystery and careful pry the box open until my eyes land on what’s inside.

“Lena. . .” I gasp and scooch forward on the couch to get a better look. “How did you. . .” I trail off and run my fingers over the keyboard inside the box.

It’s a model I’ve been eyeing for a while now since I decided I wanted to get back into playing piano, but I’ve never told Lena I used to play and I definitely didn’t tell her about this exact keyboard.

“Do you like it?” she asks quietly which makes my eyes snap to her. She’s nervously chewing on her bottom lip and has her hands buried in her lap.

“Do I like it?” I repeat incredulously. “Lena, this is. . . How did you . . . I can’t believe you got this for me. I love it. I absolutely love it. Thank you so much.”

Lena relaxes visibly and her lips twitch with amusement. “Good. I’m glad you like it.”

“Like it?!” I echo again with a laugh. “I love it! How did you know about this? I don’t think I ever told you I play, did I?”

She shakes her head and helps me open the box a little more so the keyboard is on full display. “No, but I saw the picture of you playing at your high school graduation on your nightstand. . . And I may or may not have seen you look up keyboards when I was staying at your place.”

Ah, so that explains it. Damn, she’s really observant. . .

I smile at her admission and redirect my attention toward the keyboard and run my fingers over the keys.

I’m only now noticing that it’s the most expensive model I looked at without any intention of ever buying it and suddenly the fact that I don’t really have a present in return makes me feel insanely guilty.

Noticing the shift in my mood almost instantly, Lena frowns and clasps her hands together. “What is it? Do you not like it after all? Or is it about what I said? I’m sorry if I overstepped, Y/N. I just thought—“

“No, Lena, stop.” I cut her off quickly and take one of her hands, lacing our fingers together and stroking my thumb over the back of her thumb. “It’s not about any of that. I love it and I’m extremely grateful but. . .”

“But?” she asks when I don’t continue, dipping her head to catch my eye.

I sigh and smile sadly. “But my present — if you can even call it that— is nothing compared to this. This is great a-and insanely thoughtful and mine is just—“

This time Lena’s the one to cut me off, squeezing my hand and saying, “I’m sure that’s not true and I don’t care what you got me. I didn’t buy this expecting something in return. I mean, you even warned me about not having a present.”

I huff and pout playfully which makes her laugh.

“Come on, tell me what you got me,” she says.

I chew on the inside of my cheek and look at our intertwined hands. “Well, it’s not exactly a thing. . .”

Lena raises her eyebrows and tilts her head, waiting for me to go on.

“I just. . . I postponed the move again so we could celebrate New Years together and— Ah, now that I’m saying it out loud it sounds so silly. This isn’t much of a gift, actually. It’s more like a surprise, but—“

“I love it,” Lena whispers. It’s so quiet I barely hear her.

I look up with hopeful eyes and find her watching me with adoration. It makes my skin tingle and I raise my free hand to rub the back of my neck in embarrassment.

“I told you I wasn’t expecting anything in return,” she says quietly. “But this is more than I could have ever hoped for. I can buy everything I want whenever I want, but the one thing I can’t buy is time with the people I love.”

My heart skips a beat at the mention of love, but I know that she doesn’t mean it the way I do when thinking about her, so I force myself to stay calm and not fidget in my seat.

Lena however takes me by surprise by doubling down and saying, “I love you, Y/N.”

I gape at her and absentmindedly squeeze her hand as she goes on.

“And I think I have loved you ever since we danced after that one gala. You were so gentle and thoughtful that night and then when you dropped to your knees that other time just to take off my heels I felt like I couldn’t breathe. You literally take my breath away and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel how you make me feel. . . I-If you let me, that is.”

It’s silent. Utterly silent because by now the fire has burned down almost completely and the record player has stopped playing music.

Lena swallows thickly and her face contorts with regret and embarrassment as the seconds go by and I still don’t say anything.

Meanwhile my brain is short circuiting and I’m still trying to wrap my head around what she just said. It’s all I wanted to hear for weeks now and even though I desperately want to say it back, I’m still too shocked to speak.

“O-Or not, you know. Just-Just forget I said anything,” she stammers. She goes to take her hand back, but the light tug on my fingers from the action is what finally snaps me out of my trance.

I tighten my grip on her hand and surge forward, kissing her. Lena gasps and for a moment she doesn’t kiss back, but then she melts into it and moves her lips against mine feverishly.

Our hands disconnected eventually, but only because mine move around Lena’s waist and Lena raises her hands to cup my face.

“I love you, too,” I mumble in between kisses, moving down to trail my lips over her neck.

I nip and suck on her delicate skin every now and then, making Lena moan against the shell of my ear.

“I need you to know that I- that I didn’t just tell you to keep you from leaving,” she stammers breathlessly. “I want this and I want you and- and I will wait however long it takes.”

I hum against her throat and pull her toward me until she’s straddling my lap.

“I know,” I say, my voice low when I pull back to look up at her.

Her lipstick is smudged and her pupils are blown and when I squeeze her waist, she drops her hands from my cheeks and moves them to the back of my neck.

“And I promise I will come back as soon as I figure everything out. I want you, too, and I can’t wait to start our future together,” I admit honestly which makes Lena’s gaze soften.

Her dark eyes dance between mine, obviously searching for any sign that I’m lying, and when she finds none, she leans back down to connect our lips once again.

It starts off soft and gentle, but it quickly speeds up again until we’re both panting against each other’s mouth.

It heats up to the point where we’re both clawing at each other desperately and Lena is grinding down on my lap, but before things can go any further I stop her by gripping her hips harshly, stopping her movements.

“S-sorry, I got carried away,” she whispers against my lips, touching her forehead against mine with her eyes closed.

“It’s okay,” I reply just as quietly, loosening my grip on her hips. “But maybe we should stop.”

Lena nods against my forehead with a sigh. “Maybe we should.”

“Yeah. . .” I close my eyes as well, enjoying the closeness and the feeling of her warm body against mine. “Definitely.”

The tension between us is thick as we’re both trying to catch our breath, but it doesn’t last very long because before I know it our teeth and tongues clash again and we’re kissing once again as though we can’t get enough of each other.

“What happened to nothing is going to happen between us?” I ask into the kiss, moaning softly when Lena bites down on my lower lip.

“I don’t want to wait anymore,” she admits quietly, peppering kisses all over my jaw and chin. “Is that okay for you?”

I nod adamantly, all the nerves about where this night might lead suddenly gone. “Yes. More than okay, actually, but. . .my leg. I can’t really— You know. . .” I trail off and look down, ashamed.

The painkillers started wearing off some time ago which is why my leg is sore and stiff now. I’m also not supposed to be too active yet, and according to Dr. Mike sex is one of the things I should hold off on doing for a little while longer.

“Hey, look at me.” Lena’s hands are soft on the side of my neck and she brushes her thumbs over my jaw.

I do as she says and meet her gentle eyes. She’s looking at me with so much love it makes my heart flip and when she tells me that it’s okay and that we don’t have to go any further than this I shake my head, determined to at least make her feel good.

“Are you sure?” she asks me, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“I am. Are you?” I ask in return and she nods, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. “Okay. . . What do you want?”

She bites her lip and the love in her eyes is once again replaced by desire. “Just you.”

I chuckle and tilt my head up to brush my lips against hers. “I can do that,” I whisper before kissing her again.

She responds immediately and kisses back insistently as one of my hands settles around her lower waist while the other slides onto her bare thigh.

Her dress has ridden up her legs since I pulled her onto my lap, which allows me easier access to her hot skin.

She shivers when I let my fingers dance over the inside of her thigh and breaks the kiss to rest her forehead against my shoulder.

“Please,” she moans when I kiss down her neck and across her collar bone. “Please. . .”

The desperation in her voice makes my lower stomach tighten and I can’t help but oblige, slipping my hand up the inside of her thigh and beneath her dress.

Lena tenses and holds her breath for a second before jerking her hips forward at the first touch of my fingers against her.

“Shit!” she curses underneath her breath and I wait a couple of seconds for her to get used to the feeling.

Then, once she’s relaxed again, I start moving my hand, watching in awe as her jaw slackens at the sensation.

“Good?” I ask quietly, guiding her body with my arm around her waist to match the movement of my hand.

“Y-Yes,” she stutters around a low moan.

I smile against the skin of her neck, and press a kiss to the freckle on her throat.

If you told me this is where I’d be now a week ago, I would have called you crazy and out of touch with reality. Now though, nothing feels more real than this and the way Lena is digging her nails into the back of my neck is grounding more than anything I’ve ever experienced.

“God, you’re beautiful,” I whisper in her ear and the whine I receive in return goes straight to my lower stomach.

I tighten my grip around her waist and add another finger, groaning when Lena bites my shoulder to silence a high pitched moan.

“Y/N. . .” She pants when I speed up my movement and I can’t help but leave a little love bite at the base of her throat.

“You close?” I ask, my own breath coming out in short bursts.

Lena nods weakly and her mouth opens in a silent scream as her whole body begins to tremble on top of me.

“Okay, darling. Whenever you’re ready. . .” I coo, curling my fingers every now and then until she squeals and writhes uncontrollably.

I slow down my movements to guide her through her high before carefully pulling my hand out from beneath her dress.

I wipe my fingers on my pants, chuckling when Lena mumbles fuck against my neck, and engulf her in a tight hug.

“You have quite a dirty mouth, Miss Luthor,” I tease, drawing shapes on her back to further calm her down.

“Yeah, well I’m half Irish and you’re just too good at that.” She laughs lightly and squeezes my shoulder playfully before moving her head off my shoulder to look at me with a more serious expression. “Uh—Listen, there’s something I haven’t been completely honest with you about.”

I raise my eyebrows in question and still my hands on her back. “Oh?”

Lena sighs deeply and places her hands on my chest, probably feeling how rapidly my heart is still beating. “I know I told you that I didn’t come visit you in the hospital because I felt guilty about what Lex did, but that’s not the only reason I stayed away.”

She watches me for my reaction and when I nod for her to continue, she clenches her jaw nervously.

“I was in Metropolis for like two weeks because I met up with lawyers and investors. You see. . . I heard what Lex said about you and how someone like me could never be interested in someone like you because I’m this Fortune 500 CEO and you’re just you.”

I frown and avert my eyes, only now remembering all the things Lex said about me.

Before my mind can spiral though Lena goes on.

“And that made me so angry, you know, because how can he say you’re just you when you’re everything to me?” She smiles sadly and brushes a strand of hair out of my face. “You’re my entire world and when he said all those things I realized just how unhappy I was until I met you. I may be the CEO of a successful company, but you showed me that life is about little joys rather than business meetings and stock deals. It’s about getting excited over Pains au Chocolats and dancing when no music is playing. It’s about falling asleep in the arms of the person you love and crying over sad movies on a random Tuesday night.”

My lips twitch into a smile at that last part, remembering the time Lena and I were a blubbering mess after Marley & Me while she was staying at my apartment.

“I love you, Y/N, and just like you I want to find out and do what I really want to do with my life. Until now, my mother or Lex always told me what to do, whether it’s playing chess rather than filed hockey in school, or forcing me to major in business and engineering rather than just the latter.”

I give her an encouraging smile and kiss the inside of her wrist when she drops her hand from my hair to rest against my cheek.

“Which is why-” she finally concludes, making me gasp at the reveal- “I sold L-Corp.”

My eyes widen and my jaw drops. “You did?! How come I haven’t heard about this yet? I mean, surely it would be all over the news if the Lena Luthor sold her family’s company.”

Lena shrugs as if it’s no big deal and fixes my collar with the hand that is not currently on my face. “I payed them to hold off on the story until I got the chance to tell you myself.”

I gasp. That must have cost a fortune and let’s not overlook the fact that she literally just sold her family’s entire heirloom.

“Lena— I don’t know— I can’t believe you— How did you—? When did you—?” I scoff in disbelief and laugh at my own stuttering before settling on asking, “Well, I guess what I’m trying to say is are you happy?”

Lena beams and her eyes sparkle. “I am. I’m happier than ever and since selling the company I’ve finally gotten back into reading and tinkering with stuff in my private lab.”

My heart aches in a good way and I tilt my head up to press a soft kiss to the underside of her jaw. “That’s amazing. I’m very proud of you.”

Suddenly shy under my adoring gaze, Lena drops her chin to her chest and looks up at me through her eyelashes. “Thank you.”

I resume tracing shapes onto her back and run my nose up the length of her neck, placing kisses to her flushed skin every now and then. “You’re welcome, my love. Now that that’s all out in the open though, I want to continue what we were doing before.”

Lena smirks mischievously and tilts her head back to give me better access, her shyness suddenly gone as though it was never there to begin with. “Oh yeah? What do you have in mind?” she whispers, already sounding breathless.

“I want to taste you,” I state without missing a beat which makes Lena blush furiously. “Would you be up for that?”

She nods eagerly and climbs off my lap before helping me to my feet although she’s not all too stable on her own feet.

We make our way to the bedroom, giggling and stealing kisses all the way there until the door slams shut behind us.

Lena pushes me up against the door and attacks my lips in a bruising kiss. She runs her fingers through my hair and down my neck and chest until I can’t take it anymore.

I spin her around and kiss down the back of her neck before whispering in her ear, asking if I can take off her dress.

Her only reply is a yes, please, and within the blink of an eye, her dress is on the floor, pooled around her feet.

I help her step out of it and as soon as she turns around and the moonlight from outside illuminates her pale skin I gasp in wonder.

My eyes rake over her, drinking her in as she slowly steps up to me again with darkened eyes. “Are you just going to stand there and stare, or are you going to do what you said you would?”

I exhale shakily, her teasing being the only thing I need to spring into action, and hoist her up my body by the back of her legs.

She yelps in surprise and wraps her arms around my neck before giggling and kissing the shell of my ear.

I have no idea where all that strength came from and how I managed to lift her without my leg giving out, but here we are and I sure as hell am not going to drop her, so I quickly move toward the bed and place her down on it.

She shuffles up the mattress until her head is on one of the pillows before grabbing the front of my shirt and pulling me down on top of her.

“Someone’s eager,” I say committing every detail of her face to memory but it seems as though her patience is wearing thin because she swiftly leans up to reconnect our lips.

“Just shut up and kiss me,” she mumbles into the kiss and, honestly, who would I be to deny such a request.

________________________________________________

Phew that was a long one, but it’s also been a long time coming and it’s the last part, so I guess it’s only fair that it’s on the longer side.

Anyway, I wanted to thank each and every one of you for all the love and support you’ve shown for this story and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it.

As I mentioned before, this is the last part, but I will probably write an epilogue for it in the future.

For now, my focus is on other stories though and I hope that if you enjoyed this you’ll also check out my other fics.

Again, thanks for all the love and support!

Hugs and kisses!

— Soph :)

Tag list: @nerethos @orange15quote @nuianced-tck-enby @autorasexy @unexpected-character @nothisismax @wandatasha @likeornella @rosea-reginae @aca-biitch @jujuu23 @likeornella

* not proofread yet bc I’m a lazy shit and I just want to get this out there <3

[cillianmesoftlyyy]

Cut the Shit-Delusion, Sweetheart | Cillian Murphy x fem!reader

summary: A young actress confesses her feelings to Cillian Murphy, this is how he responds.

warning: This is a much different story than I usually write but I think it's one that we all need in moments of pain and loneliness; to allow ourselves to feel sad and disappointment and hurt. We use people like Cillian to comfort ourselves and give ourselves reasons to be happy and sometimes we need moments to be sad. I was inspired by Fleabag (of course) and an AI edit I saw of Cillian where he turns someone down and its really sweet even though it breaks my heart lol. Age-diff, 1 noncon kiss, talk of infidelity.

word count: 1791+k

Blue Light- Mazzy Star 🎶

Don't interact if you're a Yvonne-hater, please and thanks <3

She hesitated before she knocked on the side-door of Cillian’s trailer. This desperate feeling overwhelmed her and she knew that she couldn’t sleep unless she went to him and confessed how she felt. She’d been plagued by dreams of them together, these beautiful, perfect dreams that poisoned her sleep like melatonin. She loved him and whether or not he felt the same way, she needed to tell him. She exhaled shakily as she dropped her arm back to her side. She was wearing her normal clothes, out of costume finally after a long day of shooting. She lost her sense of security behind the battlements of her gowns and numerous frilly things. She couldn’t hide her feelings behind her character anymore. 

The door opened and Cillian leaned against the doorframe in a casual greeting. 

“Don’t tell me we have a late night call time tonight, I’m fucking exhausted.” He smiled with his lopsided grin, his wide lips framing his teeth.

“No, but there is some business I need to attend to. May I come in?” She returned his smile and mirrored his posture. 

“Sure, come on.” He stepped aside and raised his arm in a welcoming gesture for her to pass through the door. She nodded in silent thanks and stood awkwardly in his trailer which was simple and quaint. Except for the unmade bed, the trailer was neat and orderly. 

“Oh fuck I’m sorry, were you asleep when I knocked?” She blushed and squeezed her palms together in an anxious gesture. 

“Nah, I was just reading the script for a movie my agent wants me to do next.” 

“Oh,” she nodded and turned her attention to the rack of costumes his character wore, “is it any good?” 

“It's definitely interesting but I don’t think it’s t’e right film for me.” He sighed and sat on the edge of his bed. Cillian was wearing a plain t-shirt and pajama pants, and seeing the innocent-intimate side of his life made her want so desperately to kiss him. She sat on the small couch he had in the trailer and tried to smile. 

“That’s too bad. Is it anything I’d like?” She joked and he nodded seriously. 

“Actually, yeh. I’ll send it over once I’m through. I’ve been re-reading it.” He moved his hands through the air as he spoke, so unlike his characters. She almost laughed and he smiled. 

“So, what can I do for you? You said you had some business to attend to. Sounds serious. Should I be worried?” He raised his eyebrow and crossed his legs, his hands cupped around the edge of the mattress. She tried to speak and immediately failed. Frustrated and embarrassed tears filled her eyes and she hid them by looking up at the ceiling. Cillian furrowed his brow, concerned. 

“What’s wrong?” He leaned forward on the bed and she shook her head, laughing lightly at herself. 

“I feel so incredibly stupid now for coming here.” She looked away and the bed squeaked softly as Cillian stood and joined her on the couch. She scooted over to give him some room and picked at the skin on her hands. 

“You can always come to me. Whatever it is.” He said softly and the air around them stilled with anticipation.

“Oh don’t say that, Cillian. You’re so kind…” she started to cry and tried to hide her face. 

“Fuck, I hate tears, please don’t cry! Did somet’ing happen?” He raised his hands helplessly, holding them over her without being sure what to do with them. She nodded her head slowly and hiccuped pitifully. 

“You’ll have to forgive me for my comforting abilities. I’ve never been good on t’at front and I have boys so I’m better at comforting members of the male species.” He shrugged and smiled, trying to lighten the mood. She laughed despite herself and wiped her eyes. She stood and paced the front of the trailer, knowing that it was now or never. 

“Cillian, this is such a horrible way to end your nice evening but I can’t continue on set without getting this off my chest. I hope you’ll forgive me.” She dared herself to look at him and he met her eyes, holding her eye-contact with mature resolve. 

“Of course.” He nodded softly, wrinkling his forehead, now more concerned with what his costar was going to tell him. He was naive. He assumed she was going to tell him that she couldn’t work with him anymore or that something had happened in their scenes that had made her uncomfortable. He shifted uneasily on the couch, watching her. She tried to speak a few times but exhaled and shook her head. Cillian stood and met her where she was standing. He was a good few feet taller than her and so much older, but having him there beside her made the feelings she wanted to tell him about so much stronger. 

“Cillian, this isn’t easy to say,” she looked down at her hands and then up into his clear blue eyes. “I have feelings for you, more than our professional relationship can offer. Working with you on set all this time has… it’s made my feelings so much harder to ignore, Cillian.” 

He froze and remembered to breathe, drawing in a startled breath. 

“T’at wasn’t what I was expecting you to say.” He ran his hand over his mouth and looked away, his blue eyes moving through his hidden thoughts. 

“I know you probably don’t feel the same but I just… it’s driving me mad, Cillian. It’s becoming a form of method acting that isn’t fun anymore.” She tried to laugh lightly but grimaced and put the backs of her hands against her burning cheeks. 

“Yeh…” he nodded and sighed, his eyes wide. 

She groaned and returned to the couch, sitting on her sweaty hands. 

“I can go, Cillian. I can leave if you don’t want me here anymore.” She whispered, tears pooling in her eyes. 

“No, no. We need to talk t’rough this.” He said calmly, slowly, and covered his mouth with his freckled hand. 

“Oh God, I’ve gone and fucked everything up. I’m sorry Cillian. I knew you didn’t feel the same but I still let myself go to you.” She leaned back against the couch and pulled her hands through her hair and pulled the skin back from her face. 

“Stop it. Don’t say t'at.” Cillian snapped not unkindly but sternly and took a deep breath. “See, we need to talk about t’is so we can still work together, eh?” He ran a hand through his own dark hair and looked at her for a moment, thinking. 

“How, Cillian? If you knew how I felt about you… it’s maddening. I can’t sleep, Cillian. You’re all I think about as pathetic as it sounds,” she took a deep breath, “I love you. And now you’ll hate me.” She continued and moved her hands, clasped together between her knees.

Cillian sighed and moved abruptly to her side on the couch, opening his body towards her. 

“Don’t talk for me, eh? Look, I understand. It’s hard to not develop certain er… feelings when we do what we do, right?” He cocked his head to the side and licked his lips awkwardly.

“I know I’m childish, Cillian, but I can’t help it. I’m suffering without you… without more from you, more than we can do on set.” She whined and rubbed her shoulders as if she were cold. “Can you indulge me? Do you feel even a little of what I do?” She whispered, looking deeply into his eyes. He said nothing for a second before running his hands up and down his face, exhaling loudly into his palms. He put his hands down and leaned towards her on his elbows. 

“I’m married, sweetheart. Yvonne is my wife and I love her.” He whispered softly, his hands splitting the space between them. 

“But I love you.” She whispered back and leaned in to kiss him. He allowed her to kiss him once and when she pulled away, dejected, he took her chin gently. 

“Cut the shit-delusion, sweetheart. You’re young… far too young for me. You may t’ink you love me but you don’t know me.”

He took her face in his hands and smiled sadly as tears rolled down her pink cheeks. 

“I know you’ll find someone who truly loves you. You’re a beautiful young woman who has her entire life ahead of her. I’m flattered t'at you feel t’at way about me but we can’t, I can’t. If the roles were reversed and we were married and Yvonne approached me, wouldn’t you want me to stop t’ings before t’ey went too far?” He supported her head as she dropped it slightly to the side. She felt empty of words and so he continued. 

“You’re a darling girl but you know we can’t do t’is.” He stroked her cheek with his thumb and wiped away her tears. “You need a boy your age who knows how to love you in the way you need to be loved. I only know how to love my wife… and she’s the only one who knows how to love me.”

“I could have loved you in whatever way you needed.” She whispered weakly and he smiled softly. “I know, sweetheart,” he soothed her like a father, “but you wouldn’t have been happy wit' me. You’re out of my league and you would have gotten bored of me.” He joked lightly and she allowed a pained smile to form on her lips. 

“I’m sorry, Cillian. I feel like such a fool.” She closed her eyes and he hugged her close. 

“Nah, you’re still a kid. You’re many t’ings but foolish is not one of ’em.” He squeezed her tightly and kissed her head affectionately. “You’re a good kid and a great actress. We’ll be fine, the two of us, eh?” He pulled away and she wiped her eyes dry. 

“I’ll try.”  

She kissed him briefly on the cheek and rose to her feet. She walked to the door and looked back at the actor with a small smile, the door open in front of her.

“Goodnight, Cillian.” 

He nodded from the couch. 

“Y/N?” 

“Yes?”

Cillian stood and shoved his hands into the pockets of his pajama pants, shrugging his shoulders up to his ears. 

“You weren’t the only one.... That is, you weren’t the only one who felt…” he broke off and cleared his throat, “but it's better t’is way, yeh?.... It’ll pass, love. It’ll pass.” 

He met her eyes one last time and she nodded sadly yet full of a completeness found in their mutual understanding. 

“Goodnight, Cillian.” She said again and closed the door behind her and left the trailer, walking with her back to the wind. Cillian collapsed back on the couch and looked at his watch, wondering if Yvonne was awake. She always answered his calls. She put up with everything, God bless her. She was everything and more than he deserved. He rang her up and she answered after the second ring, her voice ringed with sleepiness.

"Heya, love." He whispered with a smile, "No, everyt'ing's fine. I just wanted to call you. I miss you, girl. Yeah, yeah. Put them on."

[me-writes-prompts]

-:Friends to enemies to lovers-:

(I’m such a sucker for this trope, mind you, this is very war-coded, so TAG ME WHEN YOU WRITE ANY OF THESE!!!! :)

By @me-writes-prompts

"So, how have you managed to come this far?"

“Do you remember how we used to duel with swords?” “Yeah, you’d always lose. Hard to forget.” “Show off.”

“If I’d known we’d end up like this, I would’ve run away with you.” “Wrong time, wrong place.”

Person A has a small bracelet that they bought with Person B, they were never able to throw it away because they always use it when they have panic attacks to calm themself.

“So…we’re enemies now, huh?” “If that’s what you choose to label us as. Then, yes.”

Person B gets injured during their fight, and Person A *subtly* tries to help them.

Trying to not glance in the other's direction

^^Staring the other down to scare them, but internally they are freaking out.

“This was never supposed to happen. If only-…” “If only we weren’t so stupid to believe that we could rebuild what we had between us.”

“I hate you.” “Surprisingly, I hate you too.”

Being forced into different sides. Having to pretend to never know the other one.

“You’ve improved your fighting tactics, I see.” “I’ve also improved my sense of trust. And my senses tell me, you’re not the same person you were the last time I saw you.” “How so very sad, my senses are telling me the same.”

[spoilmesweetieforficssake]

Coming To An Understanding #3

So my idea is to have 10 of these little one shots - most of which I have at least sketched out and partially written so hopefully there won't be too big a gap between. Some are shorter than others, but (at least in my head) they all fit in the same verse and happen in order?

~*~

Previous

Melissa tries to distract herself at home that night.  She’s cooked, she’s cleaned and now she’s trying to find something on the tv to hold her attention.  Nothing does, however.  All she keeps thinking about is your face as you’d left school that day, telling her you were just gonna head home that night. 

She wants to respect your wishes if you want a little space.  You have been practically joined at the hip, so it makes sense, she thinks.  That doesn’t stop her worrying, however.  You might have put on a brave face and slapped on a smile, but Melissa knows you well enough to know when you’re faking. 

Turning off the tv, she throws a few things in a bag and grabs not only her own key, but the spare you gave her to your apartment.  She doesn’t let herself hesitate when she pulls up outside your building, slamming her truck door closed decisively.  If she gives herself time to think, she’ll talk herself out of this. 

She just needs to see you and reassure herself that you’re okay.  If she doesn’t all she’s going to do is worry.  Slipping her key into the lock, she quietly opens the door, poking her head around the doorframe.  “Hey, it’s just me!” she calls out.

You jump at the sound of the door opening, sitting up and looking over the back of the sofa to see Melissa’s smiling face.  “Sorry, you should have messaged.  I’d have…” you trail off, not quite sure what you’d have done.  You try to untangle yourself from the blankets which you have buried yourself in. 

“What are you sorry for?” she asks.  She leans over the back of the sofa, stopping your fidgeting.  “Stop.  I didn’t come here to make you get up.  I came because you looked sad when you left today and I was worried.”

You look up at her, seeing the concern clearly painted across her features.  You sigh, dropping your gaze to your joint hands.  “It’s just my time of the month,” you tell her.  “I didn’t sleep very well and was just trying to make it through the day, but by the bell I was wiped.”

She lets go of your hands and makes her way around the sofa, coming to sit next to you.  “You know you can tell me things like that, don’t ya?  I mean, I get it.”

You duck your head, not looking at her.  “I didn’t want to ruin your night,” you mumble.  “I’m not exactly great company right now.”

“You know you don’t have to be in a good mood to spend time with me, right?” she asks her hand stroking over your thigh where it rests on the blankets. 

Raising your head, you meet her eyes, your cheeks flushed.  She’s being so nice and all you want to do is cry.  “I just…”  You shake your head.  “You don’t deserve to have to put up with this after work.”

“Hey!” she’s quick to snap.  “I’m not putting up with anything.  I’m here because I want to be.  I’m the one who came over, remember?” she says, a soft smile on her face.  “But I can go, if you’d rather?”

You hesitate, and you hate yourself for it.  You want her to stay but you feel selfish for wanting it when you just want to curl up with her and mope about the fact that your painkillers aren’t even touching the pain.

She sees your hesitation, and rather than letting her fears get the best of her, that she’s too much, that you just want some time alone, she tries to read your expression.  “Let me try that again.  Can I stay?  As long as it doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable?”

At this, you nod. 

“You had anything to eat?”

This time, you shake your head.  You’d had a plain cracker when you took your painkillers, but beyond that the thought of standing long enough to make anything had just been too much. 

“M’kay, then how about I make something to eat?”

You’re about to protest that she doesn’t have to, but you find yourself silenced by a single finger being pressed to your lips. 

“I want a nod for yes, a shake for no,” she tells you.  “Are you hungry?”

The rumble of your stomach is all the answer she needs and you blush scarlet at your traitorous body.  She removes her finger from your lips, pressing a kiss to them instead before standing and heading to your small kitchen.  Peeking over the back of the sofa, you watch as she moves around the space, inspecting the contents of your fridge and cupboards. 

“Mac and cheese or grilled cheese?”

You take this as a silent comment on the amount of cheese currently in your fridge but don’t make mention of it.  “Mac and cheese?” you reply hesitantly.

She smiles at you.  “You know there’s not a right or wrong answer?  You want a mac and cheese, you get a mac and cheese.”

~

Of course, being Melissa, the macaroni cheese is more than just some cheese and pasta.  It tastes divine and you all but inhale it.  She doesn’t mention the speed at which you consume it, merely taking your plate and waving off your thanks.  She returns a few moments later with a glass of water and your painkillers. 

She leaves you to it as you take them only to return a few minutes later, your heat pack in one hand and a tub of ice cream in the other, wrapped in a dishtowel.  “Shimmy forward,” she instructs you.

You frown, not quite sure what her plan is, but do as she asks anyway.  She hands you the ice cream and moves until she can slide in behind you.  Guiding you back to rest against her, she holds your heat pack in place with one hand before reaching around you and snagging one of the spoons from the open tub of ice cream you hold. 

“Better?”

“I don’t deserve you,” you tell her, twisting to press a kiss to her lips. 

She shakes her head.  “None of that.  I told you, I’m here because I want to be.  Now, you wanna watch a movie or keep going with that series we started?”

~

You’re not sure when you nodded off, but when you wake up with your head pillowed on Melissa’s chest, you’re immediately embarrassed.  She made the effort to come over and spend time with you and all you could do was eat the food she made and fall asleep?

“Don’t you dare say sorry,” she tells you, her face serious.  “I don’t want or need you to say sorry.  I don’t just wanna spent time with you for the fun stuff.  I want you to be comfortable with me like this too.”

You sniffle, hating how emotional you get during your period.  “Thank you.  I just didn’t want to be selfish and ruin your night too.”

Her face softens.  “My night isn’t ruined if it’s spent with you.  But if I am spending the night we’re going to have to move this to a bed or my back isn’t going to forgive me.” 

You close your eyes as she presses a kiss to the side of your head, lettings her words sink in.  You only open them again when she squeezes you gently where her arms are looped around your waist. 

“Come on, you go get comfy and I’ll tidy up here and warm up your heat pack.”

~ Next

[ermdotorg]

some newtmas moments from the first book i cant stop thinking about:

Thomas looked over at Newt, hoping for help. Everything inside him churned and hurt; the tears that had yet to come burned his eyes.

Newt nodded. “Greenie, you get him, right?” He nodded again.

Thomas fumed, wanted to punch somebody. But he simply said, “Yeah.”

...

Newt stood just a couple of feet in front of the thick curtain of ivy on the wall. “When you bloody need to know, you’ll know, Greenie.”

“Well, it’s kind of stupid to send me to a place where nothing makes sense and not answer my questions.” Thomas paused, surprised at himself. “Shank,” he added, throwing all the sarcasm he could into the syllable.

Newt broke out in a laugh, but quickly cut it off. “I like you, Greenie. Now shut it and let me show ya somethin’.”

...

“Tommy, are you even listening to me?”

Thomas snapped out of his daze and focused on Newt, who’d been talking for who knew how long; Thomas hadn’t heard a word of it. “Yeah, sorry. Couldn’t sleep last night.”

Newt attempted a pathetic smile. “Can’t blame ya there. Went through the buggin’ ringer, you did. Probably think I’m a slinthead shank for gettin’ you ready to work your butt off today after an episode the likes of that.”

Thomas shrugged. “Work’s probably the best thing I could do. Anything to get my mind off it.”

Newt nodded, and his smile became more genuine. “You’re as smart as you look, Tommy. That’s one of the reasons we run this place all nice and busylike. You get lazy, you get sad. Start givin’ up. Plain and simple.”

...

It didn’t last a minute.

Someone tapped his shoulder and he opened his eyes to see Newt staring down at him. What now? he thought.

“Get up, ya lug.”

“Yeah, good morning to you, too. What time is it?”

“Seven o’clock, Greenie,” Newt said with a mocking smile. “Figured I’d let ya sleep in after such a rough couple days.”

...

Thomas didn’t say anything to that, hoping that somehow he could go through the entire day without talking about Ben and the Banishment. The subject only made him sick and guilty, so he moved on to something else. “So why’d you come wake me up?”

“What, don’t like seein’ my face first thing on the wake-up?”

“Not especially. So—” But before he could finish his sentence the rumble of the walls opening for the day cut him off. He looked toward the East Door, almost expecting to see Ben standing there on the other side. Instead, he saw Minho stretching. Then Thomas watched as he walked over and picked something up.

...

Newt gave him a suspicious look. “Best of the best, those guys. Have to be. Everything depends on them.” He picked up a loose rock and tossed it, watching it absently as it bounced to a stop.

“Why aren’t you one?”

...

“For all you guys know, I could be really good at it. It’s a waste of time to make me wait.”

Newt stood to join Thomas and jabbed a finger in his face. “You listen to me, Greenie. You listenin’ all nice and pretty?”

Thomas surprisingly didn’t feel that intimidated. He rolled his eyes, but then nodded.

...

The stubbornness washed out of Thomas. He knew it was time to shut up. “Yeah” was all he said.

Newt slapped him on the back. “Let’s make a deal.”

“What?” Thomas felt his hopes rise.

“You keep your mouth shut about it, and I’ll put you on the list of potential trainees as soon as you show some clout. Don’t keep your trap shut, and I’ll bloody make sure ya never see it happen. Deal?”

Thomas hated the idea of waiting, not knowing how long it might be. “That’s a sucky deal.”

Newt raised his eyebrows.

Thomas finally nodded. “Deal.”

...

Newt was terrified of the Maze.

Whatever had happened to him out there—maybe even related to his lingering ankle injury—had been truly awful.

Thomas tried not to think about it as he put his focus back on yanking weeds.

...

“But why?” Thomas persisted, in disbelief at Newt’s stubbornness. “Won’t the Grievers get them if they stay out there? Shouldn’t we do something?”

Newt turned on him, his face flushed red, his eyes flamed with fury.

“Shut your hole, Greenie!” he yelled. “Not a bloody week you’ve been here! You think I wouldn’t risk my life in a second to save those lugs?”

“No … I … Sorry. I didn’t mean …” Thomas didn’t know what to say—he was just trying to help.

Newt’s face softened. “You don’t get it yet, Tommy. Going out there at night is beggin’ for death. We’d just be throwin’ more lives away. If those shanks don’t make it back …” He paused, seeming hesitant to say what everyone was thinking. “Both of ’em swore an oath, just like I did. Like we all did. You, too, when you go to your first Gathering and get chosen by a Keeper. Never go out at night. No matter what. Never.”

Thomas looked over at Chuck, who seemed as pale-faced as Newt.

“Newt won’t say it,” the boy said, “so I will. If they’re not back, it means they’re dead. Minho’s too smart to get lost. Impossible. They’re dead.”

Newt said nothing, and Chuck turned and walked back toward the Homestead, his head hanging low. Dead? Thomas thought. The situation had become so grave he didn’t know how to react, felt a pit of emptiness in his heart.

“The shank’s right,” Newt said solemnly. “That’s why we can’t go out. We can’t afford to make things bloody worse than they already are.”

He put his hand on Thomas’s shoulder, then let it slump to his side. Tears moistened Newt’s eyes, and Thomas was sure that even within the dark chamber of memories that were locked away, out of his reach, he’d never seen someone look so sad. The growing darkness of twilight was a perfect fit for how grim things felt to Thomas.

...

and that one time they passionately made out, of course :p

[ladyloveandjustice]

Summer 2024 Anime Overview: DEAD DEAD DEMONS DEDEDEDE DESTRUCTION

A giant mothership is hovering over Tokyo. The aliens haven’t done anything or even made themselves known yet, but Japan and America are already trying to blow that UFO up, and show off who has the best weapons, causing many civilian casualties along the way. While all this happens, two girls are just casually living their lives. But are they as normal as they appear?

One thing I want to say is if you watch this anime and care about being intensely spoiled, do not watch "episode 0" until you've finished episode 16. It actually slots chronologically between episode 16 and 17, and that's where the episode took place in the manga, so I have no idea why they did that. Fortunately I had someone to warn me about that, so I will be that someone for you.

Dead Dead Demons DeDeDeDe Destruction or De x 8 as I will be calling it, can be really tough show to watch—not because it’s bad, it’s very good, but because of how depressing and visceral it is at times, and how devastatingly accurate it is to the shitshow of our world. This tends to be balanced a bit by the touching friendships (and possibly? More?) of the very likeable cast of teenagers…but you also feel a huge sense of dread about their safety as things ramp up and their stories deepen.

The anime goes hard on criticizing the military industrial complex, Japan’s government, America’s government, xenophobia, treatment of immigrants, rich people, and conspiracy theorists. All things I also hate, so that’s great. What hurts is how you could easily see the events happening—waging war on the aliens despite no provocation, people using an app to to hunt down and slaughter them...

It shows how even some of the protestors of the genocide use their movement to cover their own selfish motivations, meanwhile countries taking the situation as an opportunity to vie for power and dominance, rich government officials lie to their people and abandon them…obviously there's a lot of commentary here on how we dehumanize immigrants and minorities and enable genocides for capitalism and political power.

It's very bleak, and there were a lot of episode that had me just feeling sad, especially comparing it to current events. But there's also this interesting focus on normal people trying to live their lives during this alien "invasion", and the kids who still go through the dramas and upsets of everyday life. And especially the “I’d burn down the world for you” intense emotional relationship between Kadode and Ouran, the two teen girl leads.

Ouran is the main lead, and she’s a chuuni beyond chuuni, acting wacky and cheerful and spouting nonsense-- except if you pay attention, she's saying some pretty valid things—critiques of capitalism, war, government surveillance—but then following it up with something wild like “and that’s why I should rule the world”. You get the sense she’s cloaking an awareness of how shit the world is in humor, and as the show goes on and as her surprisingly intense and weird backstory unfolds, it becomes clear why that is.

The relationship between Ouran and Kadode is the center of everything--their bond IS the show. It's that kind of ride-or-die, I'd-kill-for-you, I'll-be-by-your-side-even-if-the-whole-world-is-against-you, in-every-life-i'd-find-you-and-love-you, soul-bonded, fiery devotion and love. They are the most important person in each other's lives, full stop. It's those kind of relationships that are so transcendent it goes beyond simple definitions of romantic and platonic. In other words, my kind of shit exactly.

But, as far as romance goes, Ouran, at least, is definitely queer and the depths of her determination to keep Kadode safe in a world that wants to destroy her girl that would make Homura Madoka Magica blush. (Kadode is more ambiguous, but she’s definitely soul bonded with Ouran. And honestly should just date Ouran because god she needs to be rescued).

There’s also a gentle empathy for marginalized people underneath all the horror—the girls befriend an alien trying to survive in the guise of a human, and it doesn’t seem like a coincidence that the first person our alien tells absolutely everything to is the gnc/potentially trans person of the group, Makoto (To be specific, they seem to still be figuring out their identity, but they definitely present feminine and specifically came to Tokyo because their small town wouldn’t be okay with how they like to dress). The way Makoto immediately shields their alien friend from others when they make the reveal that they saying “Don’t let them see, it’s not safe” and how it’s followed up by the alien reassuring Makoto that their friends will be okay with it if they take their wig off to swim...it makes the metaphor extremely clear, and it’s always nice when a series can explore marginalized characters both textually and metaphorically.

Through the kids, we get kernels of hope in this story, a reassurance there are kinder people in this world, and a hope that kindness will endure.

As depressing as the story can be, what it has to say is important and it doesn’t hold back in making you see what it’s going for—from the “Cool Japan” logo flashing right before the  Japanese government gives a weapons demonstration that will later kill citizens and destroy innocents...

...to the Trump-alike American President (and let me tell you it’s startling to be watching a show in Japanese and suddenly Donald Trump impression in perfect English) *(had to use the manga here because Crunchyroll didn't close-caption this part :/)

Then there's the American tourists, who were clearly va’d by someone really good at English, potentially a native speaker, and it’s incredibly funny how much of their dialogue has “fuck” in it and seeing the subtitles skip over that. Also much of their dialogue is treating the devastated Japan as a tourist attraction and saying how funny it all is to them. Logan Paul has entered the chat.

De x 8 very clearly hates America and recognizes it as a blood thirsty colonial power, which is correct, but the show is just as hard on it’s own country, saying the Japanese government would happily get back on the colonizing horse if they had an excuse, and many citizwns would mindlessly support them.

A small thing I appreciate is far from the usual anime aesthetic where everyone is blandly cute, the anime gives a ton of people ridiculously cartoony features that make everyone distinct—and being goofy looking is not meant to indicate a character is stupid or ugly—Makoto’s a super sympathetic character with giant cartoon buck teeth and one character that’s even pointed out as pretty has like, a pig snout nose. (It also makes it so the character noted as being drop dead gorgeous...actually is, instead of coming off as just as conventionally attractive as the rest)

Soooo a lot of good stuff going into this story. Let’s talk about some caveats.

There’s a continuing storyline between Kadode and her adult teacher, who takes her to his place to have sex with her. When he does, she ends up ditching him because of her feels for Ouran (gay) and I thought that would be the end of it, but nooope he’s a groomer, they pick up dating again when she’s in college, literally months after the previous encounter. The dude is presented as a scumbag, he cheats on his girlfriend, he seems generally apathetic, his clear discomfort with Kadode calling him “sensei” shows that he knows what he’s doing is wrong …and ultimately the relationship is shown to be unfulfilling, with Kadode directly stating so and acknowledging he’s just advantage. That doesn’t stop it from being uncomfortable though, especially since it’s confirmed he and Kadode have sex eventually (offscreen, thank god) and honestly, I felt it dragged on way too long. The first encounter pretty much demonstrated everything we needed to know about the whole thing in my view.

And of course there’s a ton of potentially triggering content in a story like this—from genocide to suicide to child murder to almost anything you can think of. Also like, one character has a sister complex, but on the milder side for anime. One where it’s conceivably platonic, and it’s not like he goes after her boyfriend Yuri Forger style, so it doesn’t bother me too much. There's also a good dose of fatphobia. And finally moment where a woman reveals she has ADHD (which I've never actually heard anyone say in anime so I actually got a little excited the more fool me) and then is almost immediately shown to be faking it.

The ending…is another big sticking point for me. It feels disconnected from the rest of the series, mainly focusing on a character we barely know and likely don’t care about and spending very little time with the characters we do, presenting an interesting status quo and immediately abandoning it, and while earlier episodes of the series presented "actions have consequences and we gotta live with them" as a major theme, it was suddenly like, actually they don’t!

The ultimate ending, again, hinges on a decision from a character we don’t care about and honestly feels like a deus ex machina. It felt almost like the author really wanted a happier ending but knew that wasn’t in line with the story he’s told so far, so he just tacked it on. Or maybe it was an editorial mandate, who knows. I think the most satisfying way to see watch episode 1-16 as its own pretty satisfying complete story (which works really well), and then treat episodes 0 and 17 as their own separate thing, a potential additional ending but not the definitive one. At least that’s what I did.

Overall, De x 8 is a show with a lot to say and it gives you plenty to chew on. While it is often depressing, it is very rewarding. The unbreakable bond between two messy girls, as well as the moments of ordinary joy and small human/alien journeys are the core of the show, and what makes it shine. I definitely encourage you to give it a watch. It's being really slept on, and it shouldn't be.

[nanaminsmoon]

Could we maybe get a p2 to ‘no good’? Where we lowkey regret what happened at the party & have a stronger resolve and Connie has to grovel for forgiveness and change his ways,, after they make up, while Connie’s in it he’s upset cus how could we keep the pussy away from him for so long 🤭

so...i was never gonna go a pt.2 to this but i'm so glad you asked for this because i kinda like it more than pt.1. but~~~i hope you like it👀

pt1<33

cw: connie is real romantic in this one so there's not much to say, public fingering+dry humping, implied oral (f receiving), n word usage, connie calls reader; 'ma', and 'hermosa'(gorgeous), 'rapido' (faster/hurry up), it's weirdly kinda sad at the end lol.

wc: 3894

small jolts of pain sprung through your body, as pupils pushed at the salacious marks on your thighs, making the walk away from the bathroom a shameful one. well, that and the nut slipping out of you. both those things did nothing for the vomit inducing guilt twisting around in your stomach, permeating your stomach lining to laden your every step. you wished you had stood your ground a little more, but you gave in to connie because it was what your heart wanted. fucking him wasn’t where your regrets lay, it was with the fact that you had been a recovering addict, once again encountering the thing you were trying so hard to heal from. now, all you could was leave, and hope you’d never see connie ever again. even if it meant really cutting everyone off this time. mikasa included.

”hey girl, imma go now. but thanks for having me—”, you pulled her outside to announce your departure. and mikasa just cut you off, a dramatic frown on her face.

”y/n, you can’t go now. the party hasn’t even started yet”, her hand delicately gripped onto your wrist, trying to pull you back into the house, but your feet remained firmly placed underneath you. and she turned to see why you weren’t moving.

”i know, but i just…”, you sighed out, ”i really can’t be here if connie is here too. i just can’t.”, you shook your head, and mikasa nodded in understanding. despite not inviting him, she wasn’t surprised connie was here, but she hated that it meant you had go so soon.

”but…just five more minutes”, her hands clasped together in desperation, but your decision had long been made and there would be no changing it.

”i’d love to, but if he’s here for those five minutes then i can’t be”, was all you said to mikasa, before you turned to go find your uber home.

the few weeks after the connie-bathroom incident were, fortunately, very quiet. you didn’t see him, or any of his friends, once. and your life started to feel the same way it did before you had met him. even if any man who tried to approached you was compared to him; from dress sense, to height, to build, down to the way he spoke to you. connie was like a viral rash that refused to go away; one that implored for attention, but you knew that scratching it again would only make you break out in hives. so ignored were the thoughts that randomly popped into your mind, telling you to unblock him and ask him if he really meant those words; ’how could i not love you?’, or if they were just some ploy to lure you back into his life again. only for him to go back to his old ways, and hurt you all over again. because you were sure that’s how things would play out.

however, unbeknownst to you, connie had changed. every girl that wasn’t you, a relative, or close friend, had been deleted from his phone; instagram dms, numbers, dating apps. all of it had been erased, and a picture of you asleep in his bed had been made his lockscreen. ymir told him to manifest you back in his life, telling him: ”if you act like she’s your girlfriend, then she will be”. and, as dumb as that sounded at first, he was really clutching at straws. he just needed you, and only you, back in his life. this transformation hadn’t been a voluntary one, more so the product of a torturous snowball effect, caused by an avalanche of everything he had ever known about himself, burying him in everything that he now knew. it was the product of late nights of heavy balls placing him balls deep in some girl he had met on tinder; no matter what she did, no matter how deep in her throat his tip travelled, his balls would only empty at the thought of you underneath him. it was the product of seeing couples at his university campus, and being envious. envy quickly turned to fury at the realisation that he had once had a warm hand to hold, and he let it go because of self-sabotage and oblivion.

lockscreen changes and introspection could only get him so far, and they could only keep him sane for so long. connie just wanted you—a feat he knew was next to impossible because you had washed your hands of him completely. he was still blocked on everything, and he had no real way of contacting you…aside from showing up at your front door. but he wouldn’t do that because he deemed it creepy. unlike, showing up at your university, and waiting for you in his car. which he did for, like, 3 hours before he finally saw you.

”y/n!”, luckily for him, you hadn’t put your headphones on yet, so you heard him. the bad news was that, as soon as you saw who was calling for you, you automatically switched directions and speed walked the other way. that wouldn’t deter connie though, knowing something like this would happen, he just started driving towards you, and just drove besides where you were walking.

”y/n. y/n, listen to me. just give me a chance to explain myself”, his words fell on deaf ears as you just kept walking. taking your headphones out of your bag would mean stopping, and stopping meant that connie could just keep talking at you. so you just kept walking, and hoped that the road he was driving on would have a turn.

”hello~? i know you hear me”, connie’s head was constantly switching between facing you, and the road.

”then you should realise that i’m ignoring you.”, you finally chided. a win is a win in connie’s mind so, even if you were basically telling him to leave you alone, at least you were talking to him.

”you still haven’t unblocked me”, he said, watching you instead of the road.

”why would i?”, you refused to face him, so you just kept looking at the path ahead of you.

”i miss you”, he confessed, ”like a lot. it’s killing me actually.”, if he had said this to you a few months ago, you might forgiven him and taken him back, but things had changed.

”why’s that my problem?”,

”it’s not. but, just get in the car for a second, and let’s talk”,

”we have nothing to talk about, connie”, your pace picked up, and the path you were approaching had no road beside it, so connie just parked his car, and got out. walking behind you, he spoke,

”y/n, i just need one more chance. i meant every single word i said at mikasa’s”, your ears perked up, and so did those of the other students walking around you, ”i do love you. i do want to be better this time round, and i want to give you everything you deserve plus loads of other shit on top of that—”, connie’s spiel was cut short by you **turning around. causing him to stop dead in his tracks as you slowly walked over to him,

”you can’t park there, they’ll give you a ticket.”, you pointed behind him, and as he turned to see, you began to walk away. connie reached out to grab your arm, pulling you back to him.

”fuck the ticket. go out with me. tomorrow. i’ll plan everything, just wear something cute and show up. that’s all i ask of you. if you hate it, then we’ll never speak again”, you dropped your gaze to your hand, firmly clasped in both of his, before looking back up at connie’s face.

”we’re not meant to be speaking right now”,

”but we are.”, he lifted your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles, ”that’s gotta mean something, right?”, your face was blank. but your true feelings were exposed when you yanked your hand from him.

”no.”, connie’s shock was written in his eyes, and it stayed there as you continued, ”i meant what i said too; we’re done. as in, finished. don’t come back here, connie”, were your last words to connie before you walked away from him. and he just stood there, watching you leave; the heaviness of his heart causing it to drop to his shoes, so he couldn’t even run after you.

it would take a while for that weight to lift, so connie just sat in that rejection for a few months. but, sick of seeing his friend constantly moping around over a girl he fucked over, ony was the one who suggested connie to try getting back with you again. he assumed that showing up somewhere like your uni, or house, was a terrible idea so he just told connie to send some flowers to your place.

”the fuck’s that gonna do?”, connie remarked in confusion.

”nigga, you put a note in the flowers.”, ony nudged him, “and be nice because you’ll probably only get one chance before she catches on it’s you and starts throwing them out without even reading the note on it”, ony had advised. so that’s what connie did, he bought you your favourite flowers, sent them to your place, and just waited.

you got them two days after he sent them, and you could already guess who they were from. but the note confirmed it, reading:

”i’m so sorry for everything. y/n, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and you deserved better than what i gave you. you don’t have to love me again, you don’t have to trust me again, you don’t even have to commit to me again. let’s just go on a date. or whatever you’d like. let’s spend some time together. if you’re down, meet me outside your apartment building at 4 tomorrow. wear something fancy<3 - c”

you mulled it over for a few seconds before walking over to your wardrobe to find something to wear. you didn’t know how the night would end, but you wanted him to spend it realising what he had lost. so you wore a dress that represented that.

connie knew he was taking a risk that could potentially make him more depressed than he was before, but that didn’t stop him from getting dressed and driving to your place. fingers moving anxiously on his steering wheel were calmed into stillness when connie saw you stood outside your apartment complex, dress blowing in the wind, as you swayed slightly looking around. it was your turn to be nervous, when you looked up to see his car. he pulled up right in front of you before getting out of the car to walk to the side you were stood at, to open your door,

”you’re beautiful, you know that?”, he gestured for you to get in the car, and his hand itched to just smack your ass. but, he was here for forgiveness, and he wouldn’t be granted it if he acted like that. so he just closed the door behind you, and walked back to the driver’s side.

”what, no compliment back? i haven’t dressed up like this in years”, connie teased, and you rolled your eyes. as much as you didn’t want to, you had to admit that connie looked really good; dressed in a black dress shirt, black dress trousers, and black dress shoes. as always, he smelled divine. but you couldn’t give in to him from the very beginning.

”you don’t look bad”, you shrugged, looking out the window. connie just laughed at you, reaching his arm across to you to flick your chin with his index finger.

“it’s been so long you can’t even compliment me right?”, he teased again, and when you moved his hand from your face, he poked your side.

”connie, stop before i make you turn this damn car around”, you threatened, but connie just let out another laugh.

”and if i don’t? then what? you’ll walk back home?”,

”if i have to, yeah”,

”okay, i’ll stop. but…it’s just ‘cause i missed you so much. i’ll chill though”, he moved his hand away from you, but he’d still be looking at you every chance he could.

”you ain’t miss me?”, he teased again, and you turned to look at him blankly before shaking your head.

the evening was nice, and the food was amazing. being in connie’s company, nothing ever felt forced, so things just progressed very smoothly. and an evening of flirtatious glances and comments, led to connie’s lips crashing into yours. with your back against his car because he couldn’t wait until you got back to your apartment. regard for your location had been left in the restaurant as your dress shifted higher on your body at the hands of the man kissing and sucking on your neck. and, honestly, connie would’ve taken you right then and there if it wasn’t for a restaurant staff member asking you guys to refrain because of other patrons.

”sorry”, connie chuckled, hands pulling your dress down before opening your door. he apologised one more time to the guy that worked there, before rushing over to his side of the car. as soon as he got in, his lips were attached to yours again, tongue entering your mouth, as his hand rested on the side of your face.

”backseat?”, he whispered into your mouth, and you had to pull back and look at him like ’really?’.

”what?”, he chuckled.

”i thought you changed, and now you want to fuck in your backseat?”, he chuckled again, before shrugging at you, ”when i look like this?”, you motioned at your dress, and he backed off you. holding his hands up in defeat, before he just started the car,

”you’re right. what was i thinking?”, he said, and you just kissed your teeth and put your seatbelt on, ”when you look this good, i need to fuck you into a mattress, not a car seat”,

you didn’t even make it to your front door before the pink fabric covering you was moving upwards again, the newfound draft hitting the cold wet patch at the front of your underwear. connie’s hands were grabbing and kneading at whatever they could, as you fumbled to unlock your door. not only were his hands busying themselves with distracting you, but his lips were fully occupied; leaving wet kisses all over your neck and jaw. these, in tandem, made your concentration levels drop dramatically, but connie wasn’t letting up,

”connie, wait”, you breathed out, and a hum of rejection rumbled on your neck.

”rapido, hermosa, i need you”, heavy breaths rolled out of connie’s mouth, to transfigure into light whimpers as connie pushed the growing tent in his dress trousers against you. because your lower half was basically fully exposed, connie had no issue wrapping his arm around you to put his hand in your thong, and rub your clit.

”connie, let me just open the door first”, your pleas were unheard, and connie’s hands kept moving. as did his hips—desparate for more of you. he could’ve gotten more of you if he just let you unlock the door, but his mind had short-circuited the first time your lips met at the restaurant car park, and he was working off pure instinct now. hopes and prayers that your neighbours wouldn’t see this plagued the small bit of your mind that wasn’t losing it. your forehead had fallen to rest on the door in front of you, as connie’s chest was pushing you into it. one of his fingers had found your entrance, as his thumb continued its task on your clit. the same could not be said for his other arm that he had placed around your center to keep you from falling over. its task had been neglected as his hand had rose to take your tit out of your dress—squeezing at it, and pinching at your nipple. you knew better than to let this man finger you in your apartment hallway, but the sounds of him sucking on your earlobe, and kissing the space behind your ears, made it very difficult for you to care anymore. so you spread your legs further apart, and just let him do whatever he wanted with you. that built courage inside connie. the hand that was on your tit moved to undo his belt, the button to his dress trousers, before finally pulling them down to his midthigh. his dick was hard enough now for him to just fuck himself against your clothed pussy—the pool of precum collecting at the front of his boxers growing quickly. the concern that one of your neighbours might hear the low moans and groans leaving your mouths grew fainter, until it was fully replaced by connie’s words in your ears,

”i need to fuck you so bad, ma. i’m about to nut in my boxers at the thought of it”, you had no response. even if you could think one up, it would’ve been stolen from you by the intense orgasm that washed over you. connie’s followed yours, and once he removed his hands from you, his tongue was swirling around his fingers.

the taste of you on his tongue drove connie wild. so, as soon as you made it into your bedroom, he was stripping you of your dress, and laying you on you back, as he ate you out like doing so would save him from eternal hellfire. obviously, you came not too long after he started, and when he came up from in between your legs, he had the biggest grin on his face. he quickly stripped himself of all his clothes, and within seconds he was knelt between your legs, stroking himself. his eyes were transfixed—like, if this man had a tail, he would’ve flown away with how hard it would’ve been wagging.

”how’re you more beautiful than i remember?”, his quiet words of admiration fell onto you, and you shrugged up at him, obviously shy.

”why so quiet? you’ve never been one to be shy with me, talk to me”, he had one hand on either side of your head as he placed light pecks on your lips, waiting for them to part so something could come out of them.

”’s just been a while”, you kept pecking his lips, and he pulled back.

”too long, ma. it’s been too long.”, he placed one final kiss on your lips, before positioning himself at your leaking hole. unlike that night at mikasa’s, connie was gentle with you because, as corny as it sounded to his own ears, he didn’t want to fuck you—he wanted to make love to you. meaning he couldn’t rush it; he would push himself into you very slowly, allowing you to adjust to him, and the way that one vein sent tingles down your spine.

he was slow with you, but he still managed to hit every spot needed to make your eyes roll into the back of their sockets. perhaps due to your history together (or the fact that this man is a slut™), connie knew what your body would react to too well. and, as a result, all it took was both of your legs over his shoulders, and a few wet kisses on your neck, for your swollen lips to produce a sweet cacophony. wherein, in between elongated mewls of his name, connie could hear a word very similar to ’love’, and that alone was enough for him to never want to look at anyone that wasn’t you ever again. regardless of gender. and, coming down from your high, you could feel that connie hadn’t cum yet—probably because he always put your pleasure first. but, you could also feel him holding back. which was very unlike him. you knew you would need to push him a little, so that’s exactly what you did,

”if-f this your pussy n-now, show m-me why”, connie froze for a second, then his body moved on its own. for the first time that night, you were presented with the connie springer you had always known. romanticism was thrown out of the window for a moment as he pushed your legs against your chest, moaning loudly at how good you felt,

”don’t know how i went so long without this, hermosa, i’m losing it right now”, even if you wanted to reply, you couldn’t because he was fucking the wind out of your lungs.

”why’d you keep doing this to me, ma?”, he said, referring to you keeping heaven on earth away from him.

”y-you d-do it to yourself-f”, your hands reached to dig into connie’s forearms; your hands were the only things that could help you, because you had been fucked void of coherent speech, and your eyes were barely focusing with how much they were rolling. you could feel yourself about to cum again, and so could connie.

”and it ain’t gonna happen ever again. trust.”, the way you twitched around him made it hard for him to keep himself together but luckily for him, all he had to do was drop one of your legs, and wrap a hand around your throat, for you to come undone underneath him. connie had been fighting holding his nut back since the second he was fully inside you, so once your walls clamped around him, he unravelled immediately. but, as soon as he could steady himself again, connie would be moving inside of you.

your hands and eyes tangled in each other, did to connie the very things that he had been running away from for years. it tickled that one spot in his chest that he had forgotten held the ability to produce sensation. it made the ducts he had tried to close up, melt open, and connie didn’t even know they could work the way they once did until his vision grew blurry and when he blinked, a saltine droplet landed on your cheek.

”fuck”, he paused to swipe his thumb against your cheek, ”sorry ‘bout that”, he muttered, and you shook your head at him. up until this point, his sincerity had been a point of contention but, unless he was a master manipulator and award winning actor, you could finally see how losing you had affected him. you hoped it would cement his change in behaviour, but the only way to confirm that would be to walk that walk with him; hand in hand, just like you were right now.

© Rights owned by nanamoonsinc. Do not repost without permission.

[hyunjinners]

✧:･ﾟLet the Rain Wash Away → Yang Jungwon x reader ˚₊· ꒰🌦️꒱

꒰ 命 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ꒱┊ she needed some time to herself, but Jungwon reminds her that she will never be alone.

꒰ 命 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ꒱��� Yang Jungwon x fem!reader

꒰ 命 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 ꒱┊ pain to comfort, sad thoughts, Jungwon comforting reader, happy ending.

꒰ 命 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ꒱┊ self-deprecating thoughts (?), can be read as Jungwon friend or boyfriend. English is not my first language! I apologize in advance for any spelling and/or grammatical errors.

꒰ 命 𝐖.𝐂 ꒱┊1,02k

꒰ 命 𝐀/𝐍 ꒱┊ I'm having writer's block, so I made something short. Enjoy reading! :) 🤍

⊹₊˚ʚ❛masterlist❜ɞ

A tired sigh leaves my lips as I finally sit down on the bench I spent several minutes searching for. The square is empty because of the heavy rain that has been falling all day.

I rest the umbrella on the edge of the bench to my right, feeling the thick drops bathe my entire body. I don't care about my soaked clothes or the possibility of catching a cold.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It seems that when I’m alone, all my senses are heightened: the rain beating heavily on the leaves of the trees, the smell of the earth that inevitably settles in the air. Many people hate the rain and often associate it with bad things—perhaps because it’s cold, lonely, and, well... wet.

But for me, the sound of rain is one of the best white noises to listen to in moments of stress. I think rain is necessary. Without it, many of the flowers and green plants people love to admire on sunny days wouldn’t have life. They would wither in the heat. It’s cold, but necessary. It’s wet, but just right.

Someone passing by might find me strange right now. I probably look like a lunatic or a pothead. But I’m just lonely. Maybe that’s why I love the rain so much—it gives me the chance to take time for myself, to free my mind from worries, and to focus solely on my inner self.

I’ve never had time to truly pay attention to myself because I was always busy putting on a facade to please the people around me. A girl who is always happy, friendly, polite, and intelligent. But I’m not just that.

I’m fragile, insecure, fearful, and, surprisingly, not that intelligent. Yet I can’t be myself outwardly, because the people I admire most might turn away from me, disappointed.

One thing I’ve realized in these moments of self-reflection is that fear paralyzes us. I’m so afraid of exposing how I feel, of being who I really am, that I can’t fully live. My thoughts feel disorganized, so I can’t bring myself to share them with the world.

Sometimes, I just wish I could retreat from society to sort out my emotions and understand myself as a human being. This is definitely one of those times.

Everything became too much for me—my studies, my family, the people I thought were my friends. I couldn’t handle it anymore, so I grabbed my umbrella and got on the first bus that appeared. It brought me to this beautiful square full of trees and vibrant flowers. Even in the rain, I admired it.

I had no strength left for anything else, so I let the rain wash away my silent tears. It was all I needed—to cry.

I tried to hold back the sobs, but everything I’d been bottling up for days, even weeks, finally poured out. As the minutes passed, I felt a little short of breath, but my chest grew lighter. My mind went blank, and I thanked God for the silence around me.

For a while, I kept my eyes closed, until I realized the rain was no longer falling on me, though I could still hear it. When I lifted my head, I met the sweetest, most concerned eyes I’d ever seen.

Jungwon was holding an umbrella over us, panting as though he’d run a marathon. I wanted to lower my head and pretend nothing was happening, but I couldn’t tear my gaze from his delicate, beautiful features.

His eyes captivated me in a way no one else’s ever had, and his presence was the greatest comfort I’d ever felt from another human being.

“What are you doing here? I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” he said, his voice breaking with his labored breaths. He quickly recovered and sat next to me. I couldn’t bring myself to answer. Embarrassed, I looked away.

He handed me the umbrella, then took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders.

“Look at you. You’re completely soaked. I hope you don’t catch a cold,” he murmured, taking the umbrella back and pulling me into a gentle sideways hug, letting me rest my head on his shoulder. We stayed like that for a long time, saying nothing. Words weren’t necessary.

“When… when you need to let it all out, you don’t have to run away like this, okay? Call me. No matter what I’m doing, I’ll come to you. And if you really need to escape your problems for a while, I’ll escape with you.” His voice was soft and full of sincerity, bringing tears to my eyes again.

“I’m sorry, Jungwon...” I buried my face in the crook of his neck, clinging to him awkwardly. “I just needed some time away from everything. I’m sorry for making you worry.”

I felt him press a tender kiss to the top of my head as he stroked my hair.

“You don’t need to apologize for being tired. I understand. Everyone needs a break sometimes. I just want you to know you’re not alone, okay? Promise me you’ll reach out to me next time.”

I nodded silently, still hiding my face. Jungwon gently lifted my chin so I’d look at him. His encouraging smile lit up his face, and I couldn’t help but return it, even if mine was smaller.

“I’ll always be here for you. Don’t forget that.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek, a small gesture overflowing with care.

“I’ll never forget. Thank you so much.” I wrapped my arms around him, wishing he could stay by my side forever.

ε ї з — like × reblog! by: @hyunjinners ❜ɞ

ε ї з — taglist: @oc3anfloor

[blottyink]

My August Reads Ranked

1. One Dark Window by Rachel Gillig: This was by far my favorite read this month. I love this book. I love it more than I love The Folk of the Air. More than the Dark Rise series. More than Captive Prince. Because it has EVERYTHING. The plot, the magic system, the characters, the writing, all of it is as equally good as the rest. Even though at the ending there’s a twist that’s sad, I was still EXCITED to see what happens next (more hype than sad). I root for the Nightmare too. “Long live the King.” The writing is show don’t tell and I fucking LOVE IT. I FUCKING LOVE IT. I am so tired of seeing a lot of telling in story books, and all my favs serve show.

2. Bunny by Mona Awad: This wasn’t as dark as I thought it was going to be, but it won me over with the writing. It’s clever, dark and hilarious. Samantha’s dilemma with the bunnies was relatable for me, especially the first smut salon she attends. It was a fun ride, and I enjoyed this book for reasons I wasn’t expecting to. The way Awad describes feelings is spectacular.

3. The Prisoner’s Throne by Holly Black: It was good to be back in Elfhame. I liked Prisoner’s Throne more than Stolen Heir because, of course, Jude and Cardan. I thought Wren and Oak’s story was cute and I had a fun time reading it, but I’m not over Jude and Cardan yet and that’s all I want.

4. The Stolen Heir by Holly Black: At first, I was a bit put off by how Jude-like Wren was, and how Cardan-like Oak was, but I had a good time. If Black wants to go back and write scenes showcasing Jude and Cardan falling in love, I’m all for that. Would love to see the two of them snuggling by a fire.

5. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King: I knew I’d like this because every time I watch King speak, he’s fun. He’s fun to listen to, he’s fun to read. He’s at his best when he’s shooting the shit. This was a good time.

6. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde: I love the dialogue in this, it can be interpreted in different ways and it’s exciting to think about. I’ve never read anything as quotable as this book. I lived for every time Dorian threw himself on a couch in a fit of angst.

7. The Corsair’s Captive by Ruby Dixon: Dixon never lets me down. It’s another cozy, fun sci-fi romance with the big blue dudes. I have to read her shifter smut; it’s going to be everything.  

8. The Science of Storytelling by Will Storr: I appreciated how blunt this book was, and the information provided was interesting. If you’re looking for a book about why humans tell stories as well as scientific reasons why you should have an existential crisis. This is the one.

9. Victor by Brianna West: The most egregious offense to me was the smut. Because. How are you screwing an Angel, and it’s vanilla? No mention of where his wings are? Nothing special about his equipment? Only fucks in missionary? They could fuck in the air, but we’re going to sidestep that? Other than that the world-building wasn’t there for me, and the writing was a whole lot of telling. The adverb intense descriptions didn’t land for me, and I didn’t care about any of the characters. The fmc was annoying.

10. Haunting Adeline by H.D. Carlton: Zade is so Neil Breen coded. Like, if I found out Breen wrote this character for Carlton, it would make a lot of sense. I hate this book. I don’t know why I do this to myself.  

The books I'm most stoked to read in September are: Monstrilio by Gerardo Samano Cordova, Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett and Two Twisted Crowns by Rachel Gillig.

[vioartemis]

Act 5

(Amber Freeman x fem! reader)

Summary: After joining a discord server, you meet a girl... Warnings: (+18), smut, oral, fingering, blood, violence, injuries, characters are 18+ (English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or if something doesn't make sense TvT)

As far as you could remember, you had always been a horror movie fan. Halloween, Friday the 13th, Saw, The exorcist, Stab... you enjoyed watching these movies. Recently, you had even joined a discord server for Stab fans.

It was really fun talking about these movies with people you knew liked them as much as you did, and it felt nice sharing your passion with others.

There were only two rules in this server: 1. If you were to make video calls, you would all wear Ghostface costumes and masks; and 2. Never, under any circumstances, say your name.

At first you thought that was weird, but it was a matter of safety. Stab fans were considered crazy after what happened in 2011 -and other side events.

Keeping your identity secret had become a must, if you didn't want other people online to hate on you and/or accuse you of crimes.

Fortunately, in the server, no one seemed to have a problem with the rules. And neither did you.

Until that day.

There was this girl on the server, with who you had been talking to in private for some months now. You may or may not had developed a little crush on her.

She was so nice, and it was so easy talking to her. You had the same opinion about almost everything too. But you didn't tell her. What if she thinks I'm weird? you thought.

You were currently on call with her, and the fact that you lived in Woodsboro just slipped.

"Wait- you live in Woodsboro? Me too! Maybe we know each other? What about we meet in real life?"

"I- We're not supposed to do that... Remember the rules? No personal information, so identity reveal or whatever..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But you trust me, right? 'Cause I know I can trust you"

"Of course I- I trust you but-"

"Well if we both trust each other, why not meet? It's better talking face to face, don't you think? Plus I'm dying to see what you look like. I'm sure you're super pretty"

You blushed at her words, and stuttered a quiet ‘okay’.

Two hours later, you were waiting in front of the high school, nervous. What if she didn’t like you irl? What if it was awkward? What if-

"Y/n?"

You turned around as you heard your name.

"Amber…?"

You couldn’t help but stare at her. She was gorgeous. The most beautiful girl you had ever seen.

"It’s so nice to finally meet you!" she started "And I was right; you’re really pretty"

You spent the whole day chatting and laughing together. There was definitely chemistry between you too.

"That’s my house" you said softly

You were a little sad your time with her was already over, you wanted make it last more.

"Oh, okay… We’ll meet again, right?"

"Yeah, of course! I’d love to!"

You smiled at each other, and waved goodbye, before you started making your way to the door. But you couldn’t just go like that.

"Amber I-" you started as you turned around

Before you could finish your sentence, her lips were in yours, soft against your own. It took you a second to register what was going on, but soon you were kissing back.

Amber pulled away after a moment. Her lips were inches away from yours, her eyes not leaving your own. Then she leans in for another kiss, more passionate.

Her hands were on your waist, keeping you close, as her tongue slipped past your lips. You made for a while, before running out of air.

When you pulled away, you could see that her lips were red and swollen, and so were yours.

"Maybe we should continue this inside, hm?" Amber said with a light smirk

You blushed and nodded, before trying to open the door. Your hands were shaking a bit in excitement, and Amber being flush against your back, arms around your waist and kissing your neck didn’t help.

Eventually you managed to open the door, and as soon as you closed it behind you both, you got pinned against it, Amber’s lips back on yours.

As the kiss grew more and more feverish, you felt her cold hands sneak under your shirt, and going up to your ribs, stopping right under your breasts.

"Is this okay?" she ask in between kisses

"Yes" you hummed in response

You could feel her smile against your lips as you let out a moan when she groped your tits through your bra. Then, her lips dipped to your neck as her hands made their way under your bra.

Before she could go any farther, you pushed her slightly away.

"Wait- let's go to my room"

You grabbed her hand and led her to your bedroom.

As soon as you were in the room, she reached down for your shirt and took it off you before unclasping your bra and pushing you on your bed. She straddled you, and started to undo her belt with a smirk.

She grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, before tying them to the headboard with her belt, making sure it's not too tight.

Then, she sat up and looked down at you, biting her lip.

"Look at you; so pretty all tied up under me..." she whispered, brushing your cheek softly

She leaned in to kiss you once more, her hands sliding down to unbutton your jeans, before going back up to play with your now hard nipples. Again, her lips dipped down to your neck, where she sucked angry red marks.

This, and your nipples being rolled between her fingers made a series of moans leave your throat. You wanted to run a hand through her hair, but with her belt around your wrists, you couldn't move at all -which turned you on even more.

Your eyes flutter closed when you felt her lips wrapping around one of your nipples, and her tongue running over it, before she started sucking gently.

Your back arched slightly as you moaned her name, encouraging her to continue.

After a moment, she released your nipple with a 'pop'. You looked down just in time to see a string of saliva linking her mouth and your hard bud.

She smirked and kissed her way down your body, taking off your pants slowly, her eyes never leaving yours. She took her time, kissing the inside of your thighs, slowly getting closer to where you needed her the most.

You whined at the tease and rolled your hips slightly.

"Amber... please..."

"Please what, baby?" she teased more, sly smirk spread on her face

"Please I need you so bad... please fuck me..."

"How can I say no if you ask so nicely?" she hummed, sliding your underwear down your legs and throwing it somewhere in the room

She looked down at your dripping cunt with a hungry gaze and licked her lips before diving in to get a taste of you.

She hummed against you, loving the way you tasted on her tongue. She hooked her arms around your thighs, keeping you in place while she ate you out.

Her tongue was driving you crazy, you were a moaning mess, and felt you wear already close to the edge. But all of a sudden, she stopped.

You let out a frustrated whine at the sudden loss of contact and pleasure, before she placed her index on your lips.

"Shhh... Don't worry, I'm not done with you"

She quickly replaced her index with her middle and ring finger, which she pushed into your mouth gently.

"Now be a good girl and get my fingers wet"

You complied, and once she was satisfied, pulled her fingers out of your mouth to slide them into your pussy, eliciting another moan from you, before starting to thrust in and out at a fast pace.

If you thought her tongue was skilled, her fingers were even more. She hit all the right spots and curled her fingers just right.

You were so overwhelmed with the pleasure that you couldn't even form a coherent sentence. But she didn't need you to say it to know you were close; she could feel you tighten around her fingers in the most pleasant way possible.

She stopped marking your soft skin and brought her other hand to your throat, squeezing slightly, while her thumb was circling your clit in rhythm with her thrusts.

"Cum all over my fingers, don't hold back"

You came hard, in a white blur, seeing stars as your orgasm crashed in.

Amber continued to fuck you through your high, watching you with a lustful look in her eyes. She had waited so long for that. She had dreamt of it so many times, and now you were truly hers, looking oh so pretty coming undone under her.

When she pulled away, you had recovered enough to see her shove her fingers in her mouth and lick them clean, before leaning in to kiss you lovingly and untying your hands.

"Ready for round 2?" she asked with a smirk

"Fuck yeah" you replied, already taking off her shirt

<><><><> ♡ <><><><>

It had been almost a year since Amber and you were together, and only a few months since Stab 8 was released. Let's just say that you were thrilled to go to the movies together, and that you were terribly disappointed.

You both thought the movie was terrible.

"What are you doing?" you asked gently as you rolled over to your girlfriend, who was scribbling on a paper at the other end of her bed

"I was thinking... Maybe we could do our own Stab movie? Or at least do things to give the producers better ideas. What do you think?"

"What do you have in mind?"

She gave you a slight smirk as she turned to you and exposed her plan.

"So let me get this straight; you want to kill your friend to force her sister -the daughter of Billy Loomis- to come back here, and then kill everybody and blame it on her?"

"That's the idea" she replied, visibly excited "Are you in?"

You sighed and shook your head.

"What wouldn't I do for you, huh?" you smiled and cupped her cheeks to place a soft kiss on her lips "Are you sure we have to kill Tara though? She's my favorite out of all your friends... And if she dies her sister won't necessarily come back"

"You're right! So we just attack her then. Or I just attack her, I don't want to force you into hurting/killing people. I'll do the killing, and you'll make the calls if you want" she offered

"I don't want to let you do all the dirty stuff..."

"Don't worry about that, baby"

She smiled and kissed you again, this time pushing you into the mattress, unbuttoning your jeans and slipping a hand into your underwear with a smirk.

"I don't mind doing the dirty stuff"

Surprisingly, so far, everything went as planned; Amber attacked Tara, her sister cam back to Woodsboro, and the killing spree was continuing. The only thing that wasn't planned on was Sam's boyfriend, but he was just another pawn to kill.

"You ready babe?" Amber asked, adjusting her mask "I kill Judy and Wes, and then I'll go to the hospital to attack Tara and you"

"Don't forget to slash my arm -not too hard if possible!"

You helped her, and pressed your lips at the top of the black mouth of the Ghostface mask as a good luck kiss.

Once again, nothing went wrong. Until the moment where Amber was supposed to slash your arm.

When Tara saw Ghostface behind you, you turned around, just as planned, and lifted your arms up to 'protect' yourself. But instead of feeling the blade on your arm, you felt it sink in your stomach.

Your eyes widened, and you tried to kick her away, a hand on your wound to stop the bleeding.

Why did she do that? you thought, grabbing Tara's wheelchair to head to the elevator. That's not the plan!

Before you could reach it, you got thrown into the nearest wall, hitting your head hard against it.

The shock had the world spinning around you; you struggled to stand properly.

Ghostface took that opportunity to make Tara fall of her wheelchair and was ready to stab her when Sam and Dewey arrived.

You were waiting for Amber to come to the hospital after a nurse called her to warn her you had been hurt. You had so many questions.

When she finally arrived, she looked concerned, worried. She wrapped her arms around you in a tight hug.

"What happened?" she asked

"I don't know, you tell me. You were supposed to slash my arm, not stab me in the stomach...!" you whisper-shouted

"It wasn't me, Y/n..."

You blinked, and pulled away to look at her, confused.

"Fuck you mean it wasn't you...?"

"I couldn't make it to the hospital in time, my car broke down... I never would've hurt you baby..."

She hugged you tighter after saying this.

"If it wasn't you... there's another Ghostface in town..." you whispered

"That's a bad thing for our plan..."

"Not necessarily... If they get caught, we can get away with the previous killings. The police will think they did it too... And we'll be out of suspicions!"

"Yeah but what about our big finale...?"

"Well have to pass on that, I'm sorry my love... But think about it, we'll be the first Ghostface to have survived!"

"You're right baby, both of us living is better than having our ending"

She smile and placed a gentle kiss on your lips.

"Who do you think it is?"

"Hm... It can't be Tara, that's for sure. I don't it's Sam either, or Chad"

"So that leaves Mindy and Liv..."

"And Sam's boyfriend, don't forget about him"

"You’re right, I don’t like him. He didn’t give me a good vibe"

You nod at her words.

"What do we do now? Do we still throw the party?"

"Yeah. If the other Ghostface is a Stab fan too, he’d never miss the occasion to recreate the og party in Stu Macher’s house"

Amber drove you to her house and you both got ready for the party. You had already stolen Tara's spare inhaler when you were in her room before being attacked, so you were sure she would come to Amber's.

And as expected, half an hour after the party begun, Sam, Richie and her came. Your girlfriend dismissed everyone else, and led Tara upstairs to look for her inhaler, leaving you with Sam and Richie.

Mindy was in the living-room, you heard her talk to Liv a few minutes ago, and Chad should be near too.

Sam received a phone call, and Richie walked towards the living-room. You decided to follow him, pretexting you had to rest.

"I'm gonna get some beer, anyone wanna come with me?" he asked after you sat next to Mindy

"No, but you were right to ask!" she replied, her eyes not leaving the tv screen

So he went to the basement alone while you stayed with Mindy watching Stab. When the scene of Randy being attacked arrived, you felt a shiver run down your spine.

While Mindy was busy screaming at Randy to turn around, you looked behind you, just in case.

Ghostface was behind Mindy, ready to stab her. You pulled her away from the knife right before she could get hurt badly, but her shoulder got slashed anyways.

You both screamed, hoping to get the others' attention while you tried to fight the killer. He managed to corner Mindy. You grabbed the lamp next to the sofa and slammed it on his head.

He didn't seem to like it, and punched you in the stomach, reopening your wound. You grunted in pain and pressed a hand on your bleeding stomach.

You were about to come at him again when Sam entered the room, scaring him away. You looked at each other and rush to Mindy, to make sure she was okay. She lost a lot of blood and passed out in Sam's arms.

A scream behind you made you jump. Amber and Tara just came downstairs. Sam opened her mouth to say something but got cut off by a sound of glass breaking; Richie was back, and just dropped his beers.

"Oh my god!" he said

"Where were you?" Sam asked him

"I was getting mor beer!"

"You went to the basement alone?" you girlfriend asked

"I asked them to come with me and they said no!" he replied, gesturing toward Mindy and you

"I was with Tara, and Y/n was with Mindy but the rest of you were wondering around. One of you is the fucking killer!" Amber spat

Liv suddenly barged into the room, looking panicked, hands covered in blood.

"Why is there blood on your hands?" Sam asked her

Liv looked down at her hands and seemed even more panicked.

"I- I found Chad..."

"Chad?"

"He's... he's..."

"You're the killer...!" Richie said

"No I-"

She looked at everyone in the room, seeking support, but neither of you knew if you could trust her.

"I'm not the fucking killer!" she finally yelled

"I know."

You all turned to Richie as he pulled out a gun and shot Liv in the head.

You felt someone grab your hand and drag you away as another gunshot resonated in the room. Amber pulled you upstairs, to her parents' room.

"Are you okay? God, you're bleeding again..."

She started looking for something to bandage you up with, but you stopped her.

"We don't have time, we need to kill him before he can do his speech about his motive, or he'll say that he didn't do the first killings..."

"But-"

"I'm okay, I promise" you reassured her "Let's just make it quick and I'll be fine"

She looked at you hesitantly for a second, before nodding and coming back next to you to place a soft kiss on your lips.

"What do we do now?" she asked

"Do you know where your dad hides his gun?"

Fortunately for the two of you, Sam stabbed Richie to death before he could say anything about another killer, after Amber shot him in the chest.

You made it to act 4, just like Jill Roberts 11 years ago. But you weren't going to screw everything up like she did, no.

And that's how you became the first Ghostface to get away with it, to make it to act 5.

[miss-eli-starfleet]

My critique of CW’S The Flash

The Flash is one of my absolute favourite shows, and I think it deserves one of these. Yes my favourite shows deserve critiques because there are changes I would’ve liked to see instead. This is all just my opinion on the show, not exactly hating it. Plus.. I saw someone else doing something similar to here goes.

Imma be clear at the start. I don’t hate WestAllen, just really really disappointed with how they were written in the latter seasons sometimes.

Props to every actor in the Flash who put all their effort into the show whether the script was cringe or not.

Season 1-2 was FIRE. No complaints. Loved the WestAllen.

Season 3 was good,

but I think they could’ve done Savitar better. Still liked him as the big bad being depressed/emo!Barry. I’ll say that I got really attached to Harry in S2 which made me wonder why they have HR there at all? The dude grew on me, and he added humour to the team, but honestly between him and Harry, it could’ve easily been Harry. Though it means he would die at the end.. so I’m glad Season 3 had HR Wells instead sorry not sorry.

The relationship between Julian Albert and Barry was so fun to watch. Which reminds me, LOVED Eobard’s appearance as Matt Letscher in 3x01. I have no idea why they continue to use Wells’ face like bruh. Your pretending as Wells is over so like why. GIMME MORE MATT!EOBARD.

I loved Frost???

Season 4 was also great.

I’d say more quality than season 3 because it was their first time against a big bad that WASN’T a speedster yet posed a more than adequate challenge to the team. The plot was nice and unique (I really loved Hazard!). I’ll say that DEVOE was kinda showing some red flags before becoming the Thinker in his relationship with Marlize, like he seemed kinda overly possessive of her. Glad that she switched to helping Team Flash after seeing what her husband had become. Loved her “Thinker’s first victim” line.

I felt like they started focusing on Cecile too much? Her role was vital to the plot at the end with helping Barry hop into Devoe’s mind to retrieve Ralph. And speaking of Ralph, I was neutral towards the character at first, but he grew on me. Also why fire him for sometning he did like 10yrs ago. That made no sense. I’d rather Ralph than more Cecile or Allegra.

LOVED ALL THE BANTER BETWEEN HARRY AND CISCO. And FROST FROST FROST!!! I liked her S4 outfit. I also think Barry’s supersuit was the best in this season.

One of my favourite episodes was “Flashtime”. Awesome awesome filler episode.

Season 5 was also great.

Barry’s supersuit was trash tho imo. He just looks like a weird deformed strawberry.

Above average but not quite as good as S4. LOVED NORA WORKING WITH THAWNE then Barry finding out and tossing her into the pipeline cell lol. Just the betrayal, and then dumping her in the middle of a random street in the future. Loved all the father-daughter moments she had with Barry. Cool to see the writers creativity in “meta-tech”.

However Iris.. bro in 5x19 she has some issues bringing up the fact Barry NEEDED to go into the Speedforce TWICE. And then her telling Barry to his face that she didn’t care that Nora was working with Thawne. Like bro, he murdered your husband’s mother and caused sm problems. And you don’t care about that?? Good to see that Barry called her out in the end.

Imma complain about freaking Sherloque again. Why not Harry? Even after what happened to him in S4, I think he could’ve figured out that Nora is secretly working with Thawne. Like dude’s still smart af.

Nora getting erased from existence at the very end.. sad :( I miss S5 Nora

Season 6.

I feel like this is when everything started going downhill. I didn’t care for Mirror Monarch. The mirror!Iris storyline was interesting to see. Idk what happened the rest of the season. That’s how much I didn’t care for this season lol. I think the other half was about Ramsey and how he wanted to make everyone zombies. Man I HATED Sue Dearborn or however you spell her name. She just took up too much screentime. This is when it started feeling like “Iris & Friends” instead of “The Flash”.

Liked to see how Barry dealt with slowly losing his speed bc he was killing the speedforce lol. Liked how the Caitlin/Frost duo became separate people. It was cool. At least we got that lol.

I think this is when Allegra comes in. I honestly can’t stand her. Like the whole her and her sister trope? Why.

The one thing I did like was Barry’s artificial speedforce gave him speed thinking. Awesome episode to watch. EXCEPT NASH. WHY. His sacrifice is useless in the end because of the whole “Iris is Barry’s lightning rod” thing. Have nothing about a speedster’s lightning rods in the comics, just didn’t like how that was written into the show. It eventually got really annoying.

Season 7.

Where do I even begin. This is when Barry’s “children” became a thing, and then suddenly speedforce!Nora wanting to kill all of them? Like what??? Where did that come from? Dion’s storyline was interesting. The rest were just.. Meh. And the CGI was so cringe.

I loved Abra Kadabra??? Why they gotta kill him off in one episode.

Does Chillblaine start coming in this season? I dislike him in general.

Season 8.

THIS IS WHEN BARRY’S ACTUAL CHILDREN COME BACK.

Now with Nora getting erased in S5, I really would’ve preferred if they gave us Tornado Twins instead. Like you can even use the same actors, but I honestly don’t really like the new Nora. I did like seeing her interaction between her and her family.

Also. Bart. I. Have. Major. Problems. I LOVE Bart but he is supposed to be Barry’s GRANDSON. Give us Don Allen instead. I did like the episode where they messed up the timeline, went back to 2013 and then accidentally reset Jay into the timeline. Also loved the episode with the whole Barry and the gamma radiation making him age hella fast. Bro was basically a zombie at the end and still overloaded the machine with the speedforce.

The. Stupid. Power Rangers godspeed arc was shit and them being Bart’s Thawne-like arch nemesis. Like boy, don’t compare Thawne with your godspeed problems. Don’t even start. Also what is with the “Negative Forces” and “Positive Forces” Power Rangers thing and then Iris’ time sickness? At this point, The Flash just started to feel like a soap opera.

I liked Chester even though he was a “replacement” for Cisco. He was unique. But the whole Allegra/Chester budding relationship where did that come from?? It just seemed very cringe and didn’t do much for the plot besides drama I guess. Khione was meh. Like just give us Caitlin with Frost in some way. I don’t care about Khione and her arc. Pls give us more Barry and not so much Cecile and Allegra.

Season 9

The show should just be renamed “Power Rangers: Iris & Friends” at this point. They made an entire episode without Barry?? Like if I pick up a Flash comic book, I expect it to be about THE FLASH. Not his random friends. Like yes, his friends can make appearances but don’t give me a whole dang episode without Barry THE MAIN CHARACTER. Also how the hell did Cecile become that OP, where is the character development.

Idk where Chillblaine comes in but I just don’t like him, not to mention that I don’t like the relationship between him and Frost. Like what.

Eddie’s Cobalt Blue arc and Red Death arc could’ve been done WAY better. I didn’t see any plot relevance in any way. It was written so poorly. Red Death was just like evil speedster!Batman or something. Please don’t bring our beloved Eddie back if you gonna write him all just jealous of Barry and him somehow becoming the new avatar of the Negative Speedforce. And what does Batwoman have anything to do with this (I believe she appears in the finale villains arc)l

There is legit only one episode I like in S9. The one that comes “full circle”. The one where Barry gets stuck in 2000, gets to chill with his parents for one day, and then comes full circle with Matt!Eobard killing Nora. SEASON 1 QUALITY. They even use the same bg music which awwww. And the “If I can spend one more day with my parents, then what would I say to them?” Line? Chef’s kiss.

Did not like the finale. His final run speech was okay about sharing his gift. Definitely would’ve preferred if Barry became the lightning bolt that struck him in S1 like in the comics.

Idk which episodes: Loved all the Amunet & Frost storyline, and then Goldface time to time appearances. Especially “Officer Chemist” lol.