#sad but true. but also the fandom is dead af so it is what it is lmao.

[rebelcliche-archive2]

i know i've only been gone a few days, but i'm just giving an update that when i come back, this blog is going to be revamped and super exclusive and borderline friends only. so basically, if we don't write or interact in some way, i won't follow. noah fence, but i don't wanna see people on my dash who ignore me or use me as a follower number lol.

so yes, i'm still gonna come back on here, but i'll just post a promo to my new blog when i do. hopefully by being super selective i can enjoy being here again. and ofc, this isn't me trying to be mean to anyone, y'all do y'all, but my comfort comes first on my blog. besides that, having a super active dash is overwhelming af to me so no thanks!

heyooo so i totally understand if anyone wants to unfollow, but i think i’m gonna go on a hiatus here on nancy until june 1st. i love nance, but the muse just ain’t there for the time being and i don’t wanna lurk on the dash and stress myself out over not having the will to write and then worrying that people will drop me for being inactive. SO— i’m just gonna bite the bullet and go on hiatus for a bit and then see about coming back. hate to leave y’all hanging like this, but i think i need a break from writing early 20s and teenage muses lol.

[jazzy-a]

I'd like to get to know you!

Hey @windsweptinred! Thanks for the invite!

1: Three ships I like right now...

Hmm, let's assume this means "ship-ships" and not family or friendships, right? Because, WOOF, would we be here for awhile.

Kaz Brekker/Jesper Fahey from Shadow and Bone. It breaks my heart, it ain't ever ever gonna happen, the book apparently spits on me and rips my heart out of my chest, and it's now difficult to find the kind of fanfiction I want for it... Oh sweet suffering. (I will also always accept Kaz/Inej/Jesper in this equation).

Tsukitachi/Hirato from Karneval. Look, it's NOT going away for me, guys. Yes, I know the fandom is dead, there is 0 content for it, and no one knows/cares what I'm talking about with them. Which is SO sad honestly because I know that if it were just more popular, people would be having a blast with the characters, plots, pairings etc. Sigh... Alas, though, Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are DEAD AF... Still, I love my BFF Captains, even if no one knows they exist but me lol.

Lastly, probably Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson? They have... pretty great fics, guys. As in some true 'chef's kiss' grade smut lol.

2: First Ever Ship... Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba/Joey Wheeler) from Yu-gi-oh 100%. Closely followed by Dragonshipping... who.. um, guys, is practically canon if you rewatch it, which I think is hilarious. Like, WATCH THE DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS MOVIE. OMG. Joey gets saved by this man and is legit trying not to sob to Yugi over the fact he was in love with his alter ego bahhahahahah. Anyway though, just something about puppyshipping.... the low hanging fruit of it, I never stood a chance. Like OMG, it was my GATEWAY DRUG! Do I see how unrealistic and problematic it is as a grow woman? You bet I do... do I look back on it fondly? It is my first love <3

3: Last song.... Hm. About Love by MARINA. So pretty and nice to hear her newer stuff. And, NO, I didn't find it from the movie everyone keeps talking about. I never saw it, I found this the old fashion way... hearing it on the radio at my place of employment lol.

4: Last Movie.... Lephrechaun 4: IN SPACE! HAHAKJBKJBASJKBD I am watching ALL of them for the first time, and they are so so beautiful. Like...SO BAD. SO GOOD!!!!!

5: Currently reading... Um, like, ALL the family feels fanfiction of the TMNT 2012 brothers I can get my hands on. Can't stress enough that I am NOT shipping this. FA-MI-LY fics, okay?? Family is my weakness! Why do you think I love talking about Dream's messed up family and making my own crack content??

6: Currently watching... Actually, I'm finally going back and watching ALL of Steven Universe because I never did when it aired. I remember it getting really heavy and, at the time, I just didn't have the emotional bandwidth for it. Now, however, I am literally chugging its traumatic plot lines like I'm rushing at a frat house. Sobbing the entire time alone in my room. Loving EVERY second of it hahah!

7: Currently eating... Nothing :c

8: Currently Craving... Not gonna lie. I'd murder for a muffin rn. Oh, and more fanfiction of like... everything I have on my docket. Like...please? I need it like oxygen? On a desert island, I would request food, water, and more fanfiction.

And now for the embarrassing moment where I display how little I actually have on this app. Tagging some people that have been on my wall lately :) (no pressure!): @purplexiasphinx, @crxssingtherubic0n, @turrondeluxe, @synnesai

[silver-wield]

I wanna laugh at the cleriths on twitter who ask for tifa to tell the truth so cloud wouldn't get to a mental breakdown THEN they will accept her??? How is it so difficult for them to get that its an important part for him to get to that vegetable stage for the narrative???? If nojima really wanted to, he wouldn't even put him in that state if he so pitied cloud.

My brain cells, I just wanna hug Tifa, these people don't get empathy and EQ....also IQ considering she can't say it all because she didn't even know he was there!!!!! What good would that do??? Plus if they think it's dead future aerith in the resolution? Shouldn't they be more angry at her since she said little to no information to actually help him and said just vague shit??? She could have helped him more than tifa at that point because she knows more right but didn't??? Oh good lord and they think they know the devs better??? Yet they stilll consider tifa a bully even after ToTP???? Sorry for the rant, pretty new to the fandom (after 1 year catching up at most) but were they always this stupid and crazy???? Rejoicing on KH, a single forced date, relying mostly only on devs interviews instead of game content, optional dress, etc???? There's so much out of content it's like asking for bread crumbs when he couldn't even visit her church even as a friend when it's so close to the HW area, both vers low and high he chose tifa and cleriths here thinking its true love??? jesus christ. In low, he stayed despite probably feeling he doesn't deserve the happiness because he failed to prioritize her (like in AC, so he was cold and self-absorbed), in high, he slept with her period. I just want to see they're mental breakdown once she dies and tifa and cloud get a kissing scene on rendered cgi, one they couldn't edit (hopefully).

Btw saw an idiot who say " that people are more concerned with who cloud kisses instead of the new graphics etc" law and behold its a fucking clerith. Why are they acting all high and mighty??? When they're the first one to be so abnormaly obsessed with the "kiss part" of their statement if they get a content even so desperately little??? Did they forget they're shitty take on hollow???? Lol now they're saying we shouldn't be so sure with the trailer but they're so sure about hollow??? Wtf? Do they think that's making them look smart??? Why do they mostly all act this way????

Also, before they think they get the devs, they better ask if they actually get the characters and especially the one they think they're a fan of. I'm neutral on aerith but it's sad that there are a lot of people who don't really get the real workings of her heart. It's even more sad that due to their shipping glasses they fail to get one of the most important theme/moment in the game, her death!!!! Smfh they really think she's gonna live?? Sephiroth, devs nor cloti aren't their biggest enemy on that but new players who don't care to play OG or part 1!!! FF7 has a brand and they're gonna keep it.

Thank you for listening to my rant, hope you have a good day. Im really sorry about this burst of rant but I just hate it since it ruins what the game wants to really say. It actually has a good message if only they're capable of actually seeing that. I personally don't ship cloti , im neutral but I consider them because you don't question how Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are in love right?? It's right there in the fcking story on it's own unless your eyes were closed the whole time.

So I shared this same clip on twitter the other day. You can literally hear Tifa say "as far as I know" meaning she isn't sure.

Nojima is slapping lying Tifa haters with every bit of this game and companion works and they're still desperately trying to claim they're in the right.

It's funny af watching them meltdown rn over Sephiroth saying Tifa's name in the trailer. They've claimed he don't know her. They're dumb. They've claimed the devs are doing a fake out by having Sephiroth talk about Tifa but "they really mean Aerith". They're deluded af and they know time's up and the hoad is waiting to humiliate them 🤣

[ak8shi]

FWB HQ Boys: In which you beat the player at his own game!

warnings: Time skip spoilers, mentions of sex(all characters are 18+), alcohol, stupid people in love

a/n: ahh I’m sorry I’ve been a little MIA!!! But I’m back with this pls enjoy ! I think the fandom really make germaphobia his only personality trait sometimes which makes me sad because I think he’s actually a quirky/classy dude and very functional in social situations,, I hate to say it but ya’ll would get played by him… sorry.

━Sakusa Kiyoomi

Some of you may be like ???? Omi fucks around ?? how ?? BUT he definitely does in his own way

He probably doesn’t do much in high school to be honest, he’s mostly focused on improving as a volleyball player and achieving his goals

Once he reaches pro level though,,, it’s a different story lmfao

I can see him being picky as hell about his hookups, but just because he’s a bit of a germaphobe doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel attraction or doesn’t have needs…

….He’s so hot too… girl

His hook-ups are always taken seriously though… like he’s the type that feels like he has a professional image to upkeep, so he always arranges things beforehand; he’s definitely not messy about it and sets clear boundaries

I think what makes him kind of a player is how standoffish he can be…and he doesn’t really give anyone a chance because he doesn’t think they what it takes to deal with his lifestyle lmao

He’s just like, its easier to call the uber right after, get into the shower, and wait until he can hear the front door of his apartment shut I’m screamingg

Sakusa also isn’t one to kiss and tell, even with the boys… he doesn’t think its tasteful and would rather not have Atsumu up his ass about his flings

ANYWAYS,, let’s get into this, so you know Atsumu through mutual friends and met during college, and the two of you just instantly clicked since you also were a part of the same sports medicine program as him

Atsumu signed with MSBY and you were so happy for him, but you were bummed because you were busy with PT graduate school and couldn’t really attend any of his games

A year passed and you found yourself texting Tsumu to see if he could meet up and grab coffee since you were on winter break!!

You: hey I’m back in town wanna grab coffee sometime?

Him: who is this

You: I see you haven’t changed ❤️

LMFAO, so you catch up with Atsumu and he talks about his new career and his teammates, he seems so happy :(( we love to see that!!

He invites you to MSBY’s game the following weekend, and you’re pumped to go!! Tsumu got you great seats, and he meets you before warmups to make sure you’re okay finding your way around

Atsumu: don’t take yer eyes off me <3

You:

He’s so…

You’re enjoying the match and you even go to grab Onigiri from Osamu’s stand, but you can’t seem to look away from number 15 on Atsumu’s team

He’s .., scrumptious to say the least 🥴

Like he’s so composed and calculated on the court, and you find it so funny how he rolls his eyes whenever Tsumu says something to him and how Tsumu gets so heated about it 💀

The match ends and you go down to meet Atsumu near the lockers, showing the security your family/friend pass 😌

You walk through the halls trying to locate the setter, but you can’t seem to figure out where he is

The only person in the hall is the tall, dark haired man that caught your eye earlier; he is already walking towards the exit with a mask covering his face, his duffel bag slung over his shoulder, sweats embroidered with “Sakusa” adorning his body we’re all looking..... respectfully

He’s truly so intimidating but you’re like….highkey lost… so you don’t really have another option

You catch up with him, poking his shoulder gently; he turns around and his attention on you is almost STARTLING.. like his eyes are SO dark

Him: can I help you

You: sir… if you don’t rail me, I’m gonna have to intervene‼️😈😹

After getting over your initial shock, you hear multiple footsteps rumbling down the hallway towards the both of you

Sakusa lets out an annoyed sigh, muttering about how he has to go, but before he can escape you hear Atsumu’s loud voice LMFAO

“OMIIII, where are you goin’? Its team karaoke night remember?”

Tsumu sees you and slings an arm around your shoulders, “Oh-? So I see you’ve met our outside hitter Omi?”

You glance over at Sakusa, his expressionless eyes glued to your face, then slowly trailing down to analyze the way Atsumu casually has you tucked under his arm

Atsumu nudges him, and he grumbles that he’ll meet them after changing at home before walking off in the direction of the private parking garage

You meet the rest of the MSBY boys in the uber, and find them super friendly and welcoming; Bokuto and Hinata buy the first round of drinks at the karaoke bar, but you only have one because you have work to finish the next day WE STAN

Atsumu already has a pink glow setting into his cheeks when you see the boys turn their attention to Sakusa walking through the front door, looking as handsome as ever in his dress pants and fitted white t shirt

They all shout out incoherent hello’s, and he takes the only open seat next to you with a glass of gin and tonic in his hand he smells so good god

You’re unsure what comes over you, but you find yourself turning towards him, and you just start asking him about himself and his career, and surprisingly he’s very polite and much more animated than you previously thought

His voice is like…so alluring and he never looks away from you when you talk, its like he’s absorbing every word

Meanwhile, Atsumu is stumbling over the stage with Bokuto belting Love by Keisha Cole LMFAOO😭

Tsumu kind of ‘warned’ you in the car ride over that Sakusa was a germaphobe, but you know that Atsumu tends to invade people’s personal space sometimes and it probably wasn’t as dramatic as he made it out to be

However, you weren’t expecting the outside hitter to lean over from his seat after checking the time on his phone, whispering in your ear, asking you if you wanted to meet him at his place later than night WHEW

Girl I would be sweating… and you say yes ofc because who’s going to pass up this type of opportunity-

He gives you a charming smile and is like,, okay cool, I’ll see you later then 😊 I’m dead

Ya’ll exchange phone numbers and he’s like if you need any help with my idiot teammates let me know before he takes off

You don’t tell Tsumu about your little… entanglement plans dsnjaknda but honestly he wouldn’t even remember based on the way he’s slumped against you in the uber he owes you big time

You get home after dropping off Tsumu at Osamu’s, and operation dick appointment with the professional volleyball player is put into action 😈

He sends an uber over to get you ladies do not settle for less please, and you’re BIG nervous but in a good way as in you know this dick is about to be bomb af

SO you’re standing in front of his apartment door, and when he opens it, he’s still in the clothes he wore to the bar and its like 1 am he’s so powerful

Um I feel like he would get straight to it honestly, probably starts with a little convo on the couch and then…

YOU WEREN’T AWARE HE WAS SO DIRTY,,, it was SO good too like after getting home that night you’re going through a crisis… like you had so much chemistry together for having just met, and you wonder if he feels the same way🥺

You caught yourself in sleepless states some nights, kept awake by the thoughts of the way his hands felt against your skin, the way his five o’clock shadow gently rubbed against your face when you kissed, and how he would hold you(only after a thorough shower together of course)

As it happens more and more, he lets you into his life little by little, and you notice and remember small facts about him and he often remembers a lot of the things you tell him about you, its really enjoyable for both of you

Its weirdly domestic to a point but that’s why its so good for both of you???it adds a bit of spice ??

Sakusa: can you come over tonight

You: sorry the retainer is in already <3 no dick sucking for me tonight <3

Him: I bought pastries from that cafe you like

You: say less✈️ I’m coming💃

AND he HAS jokes okay, like he’s funny as hell and very witty when his true self comes out; but he’s also a HUGE tease and he’ll say something completely straight-faced that someone else might take offense to like “you look ugly,” but you just know he’s kidding from being around him long enough and from seeing the little glint in his dark eyes

It becomes a routine thing while you’re home honestly, and you try your best to hide it from Atsumu because you just KNOW you would never hear the end of it; for all he knows, you met him that one time at the bar and that was that

Everything is going smoothly until you slip up at one of their games

You were sitting in the waiting area with the team (mostly talking to Atsumu), when he just says something that makes your short circuit

Atsumu: what kind of animal do ya think omi would be? An octopus maybe?

You: yeah I mean with those flexible wrists it makes sense

Atsumu: what the fawk🤠

He’s like… how do you even know about his flexible wrists IT TOOK ME 6 MONTHS TO GET TO THAT STAGE WITH HIM-

Oops, lmfao so you kind of tell him about everything and he’s literally shocked for you, mostly because he doesn’t want you to get hurt :(

Atsumu: So I see he’s just sleeping with ANYONE anyone

LMAO noo he definitely thinks you’re too good for him and he kind of lectures you, telling you that he had a hunch that he messes around with girls like that, but also you’re an adult and you can take care of yourself, and it isn’t like it’s a serious thing!!

Meanwhile, Omi is like going through a bit of a crisis all alone because everything around him reminds him of you or something you said when you were together

He got with people who were compatible sexually often, but he never had the urge to have them stay over after the deed; he usually immediately called them an uber and wouldn’t speak to them again

He found himself thinking about seeing you in the stands at his games, wishing you were there to cheer for him only, and he adored the way you respected his boundaries unlike many of his hookups

Atsumu probably notices something is off with him at practice

Atsumu: hey…if ya ever want to talk about somethin’-

Sakusa: no

Girl… he doesn’t disclose any of this to anyone

Its nearing the end of your break, and you head over to sakusa’s for probably the last time before you go back to school

You’re kind of at the point where you don’t think anything will happen and you know you shouldn’t get your hopes up, and it goes how it usually goes? Except he kind of hugs you goodbye and your heart goes: 🦋🦋🦋

You go back to school, occasionally texting Tsumu about your graduate program, and before you know it, like 5 months pass by and you’re back for summer!

Tsumu texts you and is like… sorry but I’m forcing you to be my plus-one tonight for this dinner thing I have to go to

So you dress up and he comes to pick you up, and you’re really not sure why you were surprised to see Kiyoomi sitting at the table when you arrive you give Atsumu a nice smack on the back of the head for not warning you

You sit down at the table after greeting everyone, trying your best to not act awkward when you shoot sakusa a small smile that he returns politely (but you don’t see it because of his mask)

Atsumu sits weirdly close to you the entire dinner with his arm around the back of your chair, and he’s just acting strange in general??? Like he’s bragging about your degree program and about your accomplishments, you just know he’s trying something funny; but you don’t really say anything because you don’t want to disrespect him in front of the team’s staff as a guest

You almost choke on your wine and you catch on when Bokuto starts making comments after Atsumu says something,

Atsumu: …so yeah, pretty much she should be our next president in my humble opinion

Bokuto: 🙈WOAH. WHAT?😍 HOW COULD SHE GET ANY BETTER⁉️🙄 OR HOTTER⁉️💪🏼💋

You, sitting there: 🧍‍♀️

He’s so bad at acting I’m crying..,, it becomes so obvious that they’re trying to make Kiyoomi jealous

(the boys plotted beforehand, trying to get Omi to ask you out officially; after you left, he literally would never shut up about you whenever Atsumu mentioned you, and it was just obvious he was in his feels when it came to you)

Atsumu: she’s studying at a café tonight for finals

Sakusa: Yeah so I’m glad you brought it up, because I’ve been thinking about it for days. Fine I guess I’ll say it. Her favorite coffee blend is French roast and she only likes a dash of sugar with a lot of cream, but it has to be hazelnut creamer or else she doesn’t like any-

Everyone in the gym: 🗿

LMAO ANYWAYS ITS LOWKEY WORKING you look over at him and his face is like stone.. girl..

The dinner is almost over and Atsumu gets up to go to the restroom with a wink I hate him, and you get up to catch a breath of fresh air outside

You sit on a bench for a minute, calming yourself down after the eventful dinner, but then you see the door to the restaurant swing open, Sakusa looking around the corner before spotting you

Your heart pounds in your chest as he walks over and asks if he can join you, inspecting the bench before sitting down, pulling his mask down as well

He eases into a conversation by just asking you how you’re doing, basic stuff, but then in the middle of you going off on a tangent about your stupid professor, he stops you

“I missed you.”

He crosses his legs, not looking at you as he takes your hand, intertwines it with his, and places it in his lap

You gaze at him, taken back at his confession, noticing the slight pinkness tinging his pale cheeks

You say you missed him too, and then he’s asking you if you would like to go on an actual date with him

You: wait are you asking me out officially?

Him: Yes. No I’m not. Yes I am❤️

SKSLD Please he’s awkward help him a little, you agree and then you hear a tap on the window behind you, you turn around to see Tsumu, Bokuto and Adriah behind you with big grins on their faces LMFAO 🤡

Kiyoomi rolls his eyes, but you don’t miss the small upturn of the corners of his lips as he hears Bokuto happily scream through the glass

[minor-solemnity]

What's your favorite character from the golden trio era?

Oooh idk possibly this is an unpopular opinion - at least it was when I was like, properly in the fandom rather than where I am now which is firmly on the sidelines with my hands over my ears and ignoring everything that I don't like - but Cho Chang. This is probably in part because she got so much undeserved hatred (thank u fandom and author racism) and I am predisposed to like characters that people don't like.

I find her character so heartbreakingly real in a way that I think is entirely accidental on JKR's part. I don't think JK can write women. (Plz don't hate me for that, but like, it's true.) Everything interesting about the characters we are meant to like gets sanded down and ignored in the later books - Hermione's whole thing is like, book smart but not emotionally intelligent, she wants to be right and have people know she's right more than she cares about their feelings. She thinks rules are important until they apply to her. She is ruthless and vindictive and petty. These are interesting character traits that just get completely dropped in the later books. By the time book 6 ends and book 7 starts Hermione is 'wife' and 'mother' and it's kinda sad.

I digress.

Cho's boyfriend is murdered. Cho is understandably upset and heartbroken and sad af. She tries to find comfort in Harry because Harry was there, Harry must understand. Harry can help her process. Their ways of dealing with trauma are completely opposite to each other. Cho seeks emotional vulnerability and closeness from the boy who, of all people, will understand. Harry's way of processing trauma is to ignore it. It happened, it sucks, I will never speak of it again (until all my unprocessed emotions come spilling out and I end up lashing out and getting angry). Those two ways of dealing with trauma are not going to work well together. Harry is honestly a dick towards her - she's his fantasy. She's not a real person to him. When that fantasy comes crashing down he behaves pretty awfully towards her. And if you're reading critically, you come away thinking yeah, Cho's a whiny crybaby who doesn't get Harry at all. What a bitch. When in reality, it's more like - Cho is seriously fucked up and is trying to come to terms with her grief and seek comfort in someone who she thought would get it.

Imagine being like, 16 and being isolated and sad and so fundamentally misunderstood. Imagine being 18 and your friends are dead and the boy you liked is still dead and the other boy you thought you might like is a hero and the only thing you're really known for is the mess that is your grief. Imagine that the popular consensus is that your grief is something to be ridiculed.

I tend to pick and chose which parts of the extended canon I believe in, but I believe in Cho moving to America and getting hitched to an American muggle dude. (Moving to America is probably my own headcanon actually). What would motivate her to move across the world? Grief? Wonderlust? Anger? I imagine it's all three. Idk if this is a relatable feeling to a lot of people, but I get it. I have a constant itch under my skin that tells me to move on whenever a place starts to feel too much like home. To leave. To escape. Nowhere feels like home because home is a collection of broken things. It's a hall of funhouse mirrors - the wires in your brain get mixed up. Comfort and safety become synonymous with 'i will fuck this up' and 'i don't deserve this' and 'everyone will leave'.

I want so many things for Cho. I want her name to make sense. I want her to be seen as something other than 'pretty' and 'sad'. I want her in Boston slamming Sam Adams by Sam Adams grave because she finds it funny. I want her in Boston, learning to drive a car (stick-shift because the driving instructor had made a comment about how automatics are easier to learn and she is tired of people seeing her as something weak and unable). I want her road-raging and I want her to drive across the country because why the fuck not. I want her in New York and the city is so frantic and no one looks at her and she feels so small and the lights are so bright and she thinks maybe she could disappear here and no one would ever know. I want her to find a group of women rollerskating and maybe they invite her to their roller derby group. It isn't flying, but it's fast and aggressive and she's never allowed herself to be aggressive like this before. She's not allowed herself to be angry like this before. No one else has allowed her to be angry like this before.

I want her to go to California and to go to Angel Island and I want her to understand that there have been people like her before. That she is not alone in this feeling. I want her to meet a dude who's studying for an MBA - he doesn't know who she is. Doesn't know what she is. She's just this cute girl who drinks Sam Adams even tho that's a Boston thing and they're in San Diego. He's probably a frat boy. I want him to be a frat boy who takes his degree too seriously and wakes up at like 5 because he's also a gym rat. He takes her to his boxing class. She probably cries during and hey that's okay - she has a lot of shit to work through, he can tell. He doesn't ask about it. Just says her accent is cute. Maybe she starts taking night classes, maybe she doesn't. She's weirdly technologically illiterate - she sends him postcards even though they live in the same city. She says its because her school didn't let them have phones. She's never seen a Tarintino film and that's just like... not cool. They watch True Romance on his shitty box TV in his room in his frat house and she laughs (she laughs like the violence is cathartic) when Alabama completely destroys Virgil. He looks at her and she shrugs and says 'I get it.'

She says that's she's leaving soon - doesn't know where. Probably isn't coming back and again that's... not cool. She's weird about some stuff. Won't talk about home - won't say where she's from. He should be fine with it because like, it's not as if this is anything serious and his life is pretty clearly planned out. Get an MBA, work in some start-up tech company - the internet is a thing now and god, there's money to be made. He thinks maybe that she should like, stay but she also seems like the kind of person who doesn't know how to stop running. And look, he's doing an MBA. He rushed his frat. He goes to boxing every morning without fail. He's determined. He's not good at letting the things he wants go. But he lets her go because she doesn't want to stay. One night afterwards, his frat bro says, philosophical because they're crossfaded, that maybe she can't stay. Maybe she won't let herself stay. And that... That sounds about right.

So he waits. He waits and he gets postcards with no return address - in Seattle, she tries ice hockey. In Miami, she tries surfing. He almost gets on a plane to Cincinnati because she got into a fight with some dude who made his girlfriend cry in public. Apparently, she knocked him out with a punch just the way he showed her to. It feels weirdly romantic.

I want her to write a postcard to him when she's sitting in a bar in Las Vegas and I want her to include a return address. I want him on the first flight out, because fuck his classes? She included a return address. He asks her if she's ever going to go home and she looks at him and says, 'What? To San Diego?'

[piracytheorist]

Small Signs (1/1)

Fandom: Resident Evil 7

Summary: Ethan wakes up, thinking of his wife, who has been missing for three years. Little does he know today will be the first news of her he'll get since she disappeared.

Word count: 1.4k AO3

~

Another dull day.

Another day Ethan wakes up and the other side of the bed is cold.

One would think that he would get used to it, after all this time. But no. Some days he still finds himself waking up and instinctively reaching to hold her.

She always responded to his touch, no matter how deep her sleep. She would sigh and move her body closer to him, then nestle there until she actually woke. He would wait for her to wake up, work honestly be damned, he'd think sometimes.

He stretches his arm, laying it where she would've been, hand on the pillow, fingers running softly over the fabric. He would’ve been mad to think that her scent could have stayed on it after three years.

He sighs. Three years of confusion.

Work be damned, he used to think, but it's the only thing that has managed to keep his mind occupied. His co-workers realized quickly that he was dealing with Mia's disappearance on his own way and time, and they left him alone about all the "You should move on" stuff as soon as they started.

Not that he doesn't appreciate their sympathy. But they’re not in the know.

Even their friends feel distanced to him now. They’ve mourned Mia already, and he’s now the odd one out. He still enjoys their company, but despite the remarks on how it isn't too early to start going out again being rare, sometimes it feels like they can’t get it.

He just wishes he had any fucking way to explain to them the very last message he got from Mia.

"Stay away. Forget that you ever knew me. Have a good life."

It still sends shivers down his spine to think of it. He remembers the moment he watched it the first time clear as ever. How he'd stayed frozen, almost shivering from shock, in front of his computer, for who knows how long after the video had ended. The sirens blaring in the background. Mia's distraught, tired, dirty face. Her telling him to forget her. Completely. As if she never existed.

A part of him – a small one, but a part nonetheless – was almost angry at her request. She'd lied to him – and admitted so – and after all those years of being together, she just expected him to forget all about it? Their love? Her admittance? Her guilt?

Her?

He groans in frustration. Despite anything else, he feels guilty for being even that little angry at her. And for the life of him, he can’t believe she didn’t love him. She couldn’t have just left him… there must have been another reason.

Maybe he should do as she said and have a good life. Maybe he should really move on. Maybe he should just do as their friends want to tell him but won't.

But still... If they had known...

The police had instructed him to not tell anyone about Mia's last video. Even if they hadn't, he still had no idea how to even start that conversation.

"Yeah, first she sent me that sweet message, with the promise of coming back soon, and that same night she sent me this one and it scared the shit out of me. And then she disappeared without a trace. Can you see now why I can't really move on?"

If only he knew what happened. Without a body found, he believes he'll spend eternity hoping he'll get news of her. Not that a body is difficult to get lost and destroyed to the point of no recognition, that fucking voice he hasn’t been able to mute even three years later, says again.

If only he could just know what happened. How, or why she disappeared. If she died, at least if it was quick and painless. At this point he's gotten used to the jab inside his chest at the thought of her actually being dead. It still hurts as much as first, but the pain comes less often and more anticipated.

He wants answers. What was with the creepy video, why she lied to him, what she hid from him.

Who is he kidding? Most of all, he wants her.

It isn't like that every day. He gets up with his alarm clock and loses himself in the morning prep routine, focuses on work, goes back home and finds ways to spend the day by either cleaning, tidying up, maybe distracting himself with a beer with friends and then goes to sleep, hoping the next day will provide opportunities for distractions again.

He's given up on the piano. He was pretty mediocre at it already, so it's not like he has any memories of himself playing exquisite sonatas and Mia sitting next to him, being entranced by his fingers dancing across the keys. But he's supposed to be happy for it. He's supposed to give heart to it.

He doesn't feel like he has much of a heart left. Sad thought, he's aware. But it's also true.

The alarm clock on his phone finally rings. He silences it and gets up.

That one small difference, waking up a few minutes before the alarm, stains his entire day. When he opens the cupboard to take the coffee jar, his eyes fall on the sugar jar and he remembers how Mia took her coffee with sugar, and how that jar has barely seen any use in the past three years. When he washes his now empty coffee mug, the lack of a second cup to wash brings a feeling of emptiness in him. When he brushes his teeth, Mia’s old toothbrush is almost taunting him. He didn’t throw it away at first, because, well, she could have returned at any time, right? After the designated three months since she’d first used it passed, he felt as if throwing it away would send out a sign of resignation to the universe, or something. So there it stays and haunts him.

He’s almost managed to forget about that and ignore its existence. But today, being such a day, when he opens the towel cupboard to take out a new one, it catches his eye. An unopened pregnancy test box, probably expired by now.

The last pregnancy test Mia’d had was negative. “When I come back, we’ll try again. It will be positive, then. I know it,” she’d said.

He just had to change the towels today of all days, didn’t he?

He thinks that getting out of the apartment will make him feel better, with some – relatively – clean air in his lungs. Instead, it makes him feel emptier. No goodbye kiss, no see you later, her house keys still and always missing.

Even with work he can't get his mind off. Especially when an old man calls him for help with his computer and starts talking about how it was a gift from his lovely wife.

Is it too much, that he once dreamed – and sometimes, his traitorous mind still dreams – of himself and Mia growing into an adorable old couple like them? Is it because he was so damn happy, that the universe decided a different path for him?

Ethan feels thankful, albeit reluctant, when Jim invites him out for drinks that night.

Had he been asked, he'd never believe that his sullen mood that day would be a sign. A sign that, while Jim would be talking about a particularly demanding and annoying customer, Ethan's phone would ring with a notification. That he'd turn it on and in a shocked state he'd see that he got an email. From Mia.

Dulvey, Louisiana. Baker Farm. Come get me.

It's her account, he knows it. He even knows the password; he had logged in a few times over the past three years in the frail hope it would somehow bring her to him. Last time was one and a half month ago, on their anniversary.

He doesn't even stop to think. Louisiana, fuck, that's nearly across the country.

Well, no time to waste then. He starts picking up his stuff.

"You okay?" Jim asks.

"Yeah. I- I gotta go."

"Something wrong?"

"No, I just- I gotta go."

"Ethan, what the hell?"

What the hell indeed.

He nearly runs to the exit, not looking back at his friend.

Mia is out there, calling out to him, and he's going to get her back.

~

A/N: Boi has no single clue what nightmare he's getting himself into XD

Anyway, I headcanon that Ethan plays a bit of piano. There are enough appearances of pianos both in RE7 and RE8 (and even a puzzle with one) so I'm going with that. I feel that it's just a hobby to him, so practicing everyday is not his priority, and after Mia disappeared it would just feel wrong to him. Boi's sentimental af.

I looked all over the game's credits, and I couldn't find if the dude Ethan calls at the begining of the game has a name (or even who voices him, lol), so I gave him one myself. I just thought it'd be cool to tie it in that way.

Also, hey, this is the first time I write for this fandom. Yay me! Here's to probably writing more fic!

[hacked-by-jake]

At this point, i'm not even sure who's the real sus here :'). I thought it was Richy, but then it's all pointing to Dan, and then i thought it's Richy again after thinking back at searching for a certain legend book in the library. And then Dan. I'm torn, actually 😭. But whoever the mwaf is, let's give him a super swag slap with Laptop. That, is, For giving us MC and our beloved Jake this much Headache, Mood swing, heart attack, stress, pressure, and almost tore our lovely group apart😤.

P.S. That Darkness person is something😏

Also, i hope Everbyte will provide us, at least, three different endings: Happy, Sad, and bittersweet. Though, i can clearly see if it's not happy, then it's definitely gonna be bitter😭

By the way, it's just a random thought: What if in the end... MC is the one who'll die?. Not from the Mwaf, but.. from something that related to Jake. His pursuers? Hitman? Another Hacker group? Another Government Agent?. Idk how this scenario will be executed, but... At this point, anything can be happen. With all of us so focused on Mwaf (including Jake), maybe there'll be enough time for whoever they're to pass through Nymos. Tsk, but again, it's unlikely will happen because i believe Jake is so careful when it comes to us😂.

Btw, have a great day! Wish you the best and stay healthy :). Sharing with you is so fun! :D

-💙-

Ok I have a really good idea for an agreement! ALL OF THEM are sus until the true culprit was found.xD No matter what we say, everbyte sits in front of her computer and laughs at us.

DW Fandom: Richy is sus af!

Everbyte: AHAHAHA do you think so? wait a minute!

DAN IS SUS?

In the end, we all have to go to the Dr. Barret because we all don’t trust anyone anymore. xD

But if we finally catch the MWAF, then...💥👊🏻

And yes, I am curious how things will continue with Darkness! Nice guy..🤭 (don't listen, Jake )

I honestly hope we only get a happy ending, my heart really couldn’t survive a sad ending! I’d lock myself in my room and never come out again because I would cry like a fucking waterfall!😭

And uhm... I don't wanna die! Unless Jake tells me he loves me first, then I can die happy lol.

If that were to happen, oh God.. 🤯

But I imagine the implementation of it very difficult. And as you say, Jake would probably be too careful when it comes to us, I don’t think anyone could make it (hopefully)

That would almost be worse than anything else!

Only it would be worse if Jake got arrested or something.

I mean no, since last in my life can’t have been that I’m chasing a guy who calls himself the man without a face and who felt a bit boring -.-

I’m telling you, in the end, even Richy is alive, just us being the only ones who are dead.

Thank you for submitting, I love hearing your thoughts. 💚

And I am happy that it is fun to share stuff with me, which is really a nice compliment. 🥰

I wish you a nice day and stay healthy! Take care of yourself!

[caffiine]

A BRIEF PAUSE

From my regularly scheduled content. I’ve got some shit to say, y’all (forewarning for spicy language and spoilers)

I thought about making this post on my fandom subblog but this show and this relationship have been TOO important to me for the past 8 years to not give it its proper place in my life. strap in bc im not sure how long this mf is about to be.

When i started this DUMB show at age 19 tortured soul “empath” dark academia me thought sam winchester was going to be my favourite character. and don’t @ me, i love sam now in his own right (and we deserve some SAILEEN PEOPLE). but after literally less than 5 episodes i KNEW dean’s character and his arc were going to be amazing and beautiful and he immediately became my favourite brother. The nuances of his character i.e. his shell vs his true self were so evident to me even in the first couple seasons. in my humble opinion, he had the most growth of the two brothers.

They all deserve to be happy, but for whatever FUCKING reason dean has the HARDEST TIME OF ANYONE being happy in this show. I know it’s his character. I know it was written that way. But FFS.  I kept wondering when they were going to wrap up his emotional arc and stop torturing the poor dude.

then in season 4 they introduced castiel and 1) I thought the new concept of angels as assholes was super cool and 2) I hardcore SIMPED over misha collins (still do). I watched benignly as cas and dean began to form this relationship that seemed pretty special. I started watching the show when it was in its eighth season and I binged the shit out of it for two weeks until I was caught up. By the time I was caught up I was CERTAIN there were some feelings between them and I LOVED it. I am bisexual and I was ECSTATIC for a potential queer relationship between two masculine-portrayed dudes. I went on tumblr to express my newfound theory, only to find out that this was a real THING. “Destiel” was already an idea that had absolutely and intensely BLOSSOMED in the fandom  for several seasons already. So many others saw what I saw and saw the potential of emotionally tortured/constipated “daddy’s blunt instrument” dean and the unfeeling daddy’s boy cas “crack in his chassis” Winchester being allowed to be happy together. I felt validated and hopeful. For a while.

Then it was season after season of hopefulness for them to be finally happy with each other while still fighting the ills of their world with sam and the other new members of their family that were added along the way, only to constantly have that hope seemingly teased away at the end every single time. By season 11 and the introduction of amara (not bashing, eventually loved her character and her development too) I gave up. I lost hope. I stopped watching the show. I didn’t want to keep watching my two favourite characters continuously abused by the story they were thrown into.

I know not everyone likes destiel, not everyone thought it was real. That’s chill, idc. Stories are so often meant to be (and sometimes inadvertently) left up to interpretation by the person experiencing and consuming them. It’s what’s so amazing about books and shows and movies that are able to make us feel so intensely about them and their characters. And I felt SO strongly about dean and cas. It was honestly really upsetting to me, the way the show was going with their relationship.

A while later season 13 had been going on and I started seeing some things pop up on my dash. Hopeful things. I did a bit of research and accidentally saw THE SCENE from season 12 and I couldn’t help myself. I restarted it. I watched the whole thing from the beginning again AND introduced it to my boyfriend I think partially as a way to ensure I wasn’t imagining shit (it took him awhile and a lot of me internally screaming during many scenes but by season 9 he was like “uh are they in gay love”). Fast forward to me finally catching up as season 14 was starting. I was still hopeful, somehow. And it happened AGAIN. Season 14 and the beginnings of 15 made me so sad. I HATED what they did with their relationship. I HATED the way it ended. I HATED the way dean treated cas and everyone around him. It felt like the show was taking his whole character arc back to day 1. I didn’t understand. I kept watching for a couple episodes after the big argument and cas left but the luster was gone and eventually I just stopped.

I love this show. It has meant so much to me as a story. So many of the characters are/were very dear to me. I know it’s a running joke with this show about character deaths and homophobia but the strength of the bond I felt was between cas and dean gave me a lot of hope. But it wasn’t enough. I felt betrayed one too many times. And for those of you who kept watching, for whatever reason, I don’t hold it against you. It’s still a beautiful and interesting story without cas and dean’s relationship. But I just personally couldn’t do it anymore.

I hadn’t planned on watching the rest of season 15 when it came back after pandemic hiatus, at least not for awhile. So imagine my FUCKING surprise when I was doom scrolling through twitter during election week on Thursday and I see supernatural trending right along with election shit.

What.

I couldn’t stop myself, I looked and literally SCREAMED and made my boyfriend spill his wine all over our couch. I didn’t know exactly what happened as I hadn’t seen the episode but APPARENTLY all my emotions and feelings had been at least partially vindicated. So I BOUGHT season 15 so I could finish watching where I had left off. I watched 8 episodes in less than 24hrs (don’t judge me there’s a quarantine) and I LIKED them. And it might’ve been bc I knew what was about to happen in 15 x18 but I really felt like the show was getting STRONGER as it neared its finish.

I was so excited for 15x19. I read so many posts from fellow fans, destiel and antis alike. There really weren’t a lot of bad emotions running around. Everyone seemed hopeful and excited like me.

I probably don’t need to go over 15x19 emotions but im going to anyway. I was disappointed. I was confused. I was angry. we are in season 15. The last season ever for this show that has had a HUGE following of fans who have loved it, sometimes unconditionally, sometimes even though it wasn’t the best (and sometimes less than good). A season and show that had just announced YES. CAS LOVES DEAN. ITS REAL. And I shouldn’t have to go over the nuances of why we would expect more after this, with two episodes to go before the show is done forever.

But I will bc im mad af.

Like I said in the beginning. Dean’s character arc has been incredible. His emotional growth – as subtle as it might’ve seemed – has been amazing. And dean has always been an emotional, loving person. he just felt like he wasn’t because the world made him feel that way. And that’s sad, y’all. Dean deserves to realize he DESERVES happiness. And in 15x18, we were finally heading basically directly there. With destiel, yes, but even if you’re anti, what cas said to dean about who he is and why he loves him obviously struck a fucking chord with dean. It obviously changed the way he viewed himself (RE: “that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are”).

But for WHATEVER reason that’s ALL we got in 15x19. One fucking SENTENCE about dean realizing maybe he’s not just built to kill people. And then jack leaves without a single mention of Eileen or cas or Charlie or literally anyone they ever cared about and dean rode off into the sunset alone with his brother while we watched a fucking FIVE MINUTE MONTAGE that made me want to hurl my own body into the sun they were driving toward. And cas is STILL DEAD.

BUT THERE’S STILL ONE EPISODE LEFT AND FUCK ME IF I HAVENT BEEN PAINTING ON MY CLOWN MAKEUP ALL WEEK. SO WHAT DO I WANT????

ONE: DEAN DESERVES HAPPINESS. REAL HAPPINESS. What the FUCK supernatural??? Wasn’t this the whole point of his arc??? And don’t get me wrong I REALLY want that happiness to come from Cas and a real spoken relationship of some sort between them bc it also ties in with my second point but tbh just PLEASE let dean be happy. Dean is a loving person and does everything for love as we JUST FOUND OUT. Dean would NOT be happy with everyone he’s ever loved gone for the rest of his life. I just don’t believe that’s fucking true. h elp him pls.

TWO: CAS DESERVES HAPPINESS. I know we got this whole speech about “happiness isn’t in the having it’s simply in being”  but like. Really. Castiel was supposed to be a throwaway character no one was supposed to care about. But we all cared SO MUCH that he lasted 11 SEASONS longer than intended and became a main character and an integral part of the story. Cas has arguably sacrificed more than anyone on this show. His last act was to sacrifice his life to save the man he loved. He knew where he was going. He knew he was finally going to be able to tell dean he loved him and then immediately be taken by the empty where we know now thanks to season 15 that everyone in there just gets to dream forever about their regrets and sadness. HOW IS THAT FAIR. HOW IS THAT A GOOD ENDING FOR CAS. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE – CHARACTERS AND FANS ALIKE –TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT. Its messed up, supernatural. Y’all KNOW it is and I hope to HIGH HEAVENS this is going to be corrected in 15x20.

THREE: give sam Eileen back. 

Well that’s all I’ve got in me, folks. I’m absolutely and intensely dreading Thursday. Im scared and nervous and obviously still angry that this is absolutely going to be the opposite of what they promised – another “game of thrones” ending. Some of y’all are giving me hope with your posts about maybe they’re trying to keep the ending a surprise and maybe cas is coming back and how can they not and why else would they have done the second to last episode like that and I hope yall are right.

Either way, im glad I am not alone with my feelings. Thanks yall for the experience of this fandom and show. Let’s stick together on Thursday, no matter our differences.

 PS stop calling jensen ackles a homophobe or ill hex you. 

[chemicalarospec]

Genuinely Don’t Say Anything Interesting Here But I Like Talking So Thus I’m Posting This

okay I did like nothing productive today but have a ramble on youtube fanbases, specifically the new gen of mcyt. This was two posts and then I made it one so sorry when I repeat myself. I did edit it tho lol. But that means I also inserted more, so this is just all over the place now. 

me from the future: oh god. all over the place. wait wtf this is so long. I don’t even have much to say I just like writing the same sentence three different ways and refusing to cut any of them. I’m sorry; I don’t know how to edit; this is informal AF. (can I use three semicolons? at least one of those is wrong anyways lol.)

edit: I’m so sorry I forgot about having a “read more” last night laksjdflksjad. Also idk if I even agree with myself lmao.

it’s so funny how mcyt is like The Thing now. It’s not cool to like it anymore lol, cuz everybody does. (This is a me thing. I like being special lol. I also self-define “cool” so you should not take it to heart when I say it’s not cool.)

I mean, just thinking about the Dream SMP as something I *do* want to get into, it doesn’t feel like “our thing” -- it’s has the feel of a HUGE fandom. Seriously, I’m in the phandom, which ngl has been dead since 2018, and the fanbase for the SMP has a much different, bigger feel. Idk what i’m getting at, it feels imposing? looking at the Dream SMP fandom seems similar in scope and slightly in atmosphere to pre-2019 phandom, at least to me, and it’s actually making me grateful that I joined now and not all that time ago.

Also I brought up the “our thing” bit because of the mcr post that goes “funny how MCR seems like our little secret and the biggest thing in the world at the same time” and I kinda thought that was just how all fandoms worked? idk I was going to assert that the truth is different but I thought some more and now I’m not sure.

but yeah I like the “our little secret” feel and somehow the phandom has (re)gained that while technoblade (and the new gen of mcyt as a whole) is loosing it.

I mean, I’ve been watching Technoblade since the bedwars winstreak. He had less than a millions subs but most people I brought him up to actually did know who he was. He was big but he wasn’t *famous* -- we all knew about him and we all cared. Like the only person who knew who he was and didn’t care had a little brother(s?) that loved him (wait why is this all in past tense this is all still true). (Yes AFC this has become a callout post for you mocking techno lol.) (If you’re still reading my miNeCRaFT yOuTuBeR fAnBaSe MEta. cringe culture is dead tho; I don’t have to say it like that.) 

Anyways, I didn’t follow Technoblade’s Dream SMP streams and now I feel like I’d just be tagging along if I did get into it. (also didn’t watch SMP Earth lol.) This is because I’m a gate-keeping jerk. Or hate missing out. One of those two things. 

(awkward transition where I don’t know how to make my tangent meaningful and have to make it back to the original train of thought I violently interrupted)

As a long time Techno fan, I’m really proud of the growth he’s experiencing, but a little sad too as the community is being -- well, I don’t want to say “infiltrated,” as I don’t want to shade anyone who was simply late to the party -- perhaps diluted? overwhelmed? yeah, overwhelmed by newer fans, and becoming “unmanageable” in a sense; it feels like we’ve lost a bit of our sense of community with the influx of new fans -- no shade to any new fans! This is just the way fandoms work. When the crowd is larger, it becomes harder recognize each member as a person, even if everything else is the same. (”The death of one man is a tragedy, the death of millions is a statistic.”) (look this is how my brain works deal with it)

I just really like this small community feel, and it’s a bit daunting looking at the smp fandom. 

Also the growth Dream experienced this year is genuinely ludicrous. I mean, the wide appeal of shipping is part of it, not going to beat around that bush, but there’s just so much and I wanna read an essay from a long-time fan who saw it on why he’s got so much growth. 

I really hate to shame fans and stuff, but part of it, at least for me, is that most of these new fans probably aren’t “minecrafters” like we were. I doubt the majority of them grew up on Stampy, DanTDM, and whatever the other ones I didn’t watch were. I mean, some of this is because Child. For them, the distinction is really pre-quarantine post-quarantine i guess? Really, whether they played Minecraft or not. Again, I know it’s bad to shame fans, but apparently I’m just a terrible person and I feel like it’s more shallow or disingenuous to get into MCYT when it’s popular without already being into Minecraft. 

WAIT that’s it -- Minecraft community, as a whole, is special. It’s a LARGE umbrella of fandoms in general, but that’s the thing: they’re all more communities than fandoms -- from the casual builders to the pro parkour players to those who watched the og youtubers to those who followed the Great Potato War, there was Minecraft Culture. 

And the expanded fandom that’s sprung up around the Dream SMP and possibly Dream in general (???) is more of fandom. It feels like a fandom. People treat it like a fandom, they talk about it in fandom spaces, it is fandom, a modern fandom. Not a quaint “little” Minecraft community. 

I’m not going to say it’s because of the shipping, but... I have no data but at least I can say that it certainly creates an appeal for Fandom People as opposed to Minecraft People. And then also it’s just a fandom thing so it makes the space more fandom. 

Also I realized this is all based upon a feeling, so where did the feeling come from? I was reading in-fandom texts a lot today, and I think the storyline actually might have something to do with it. Also maybe the “talking behind their backs”? I can’t be bothered to remember what I’m comparing to what at this point but that’s definitely done in a lot of other spaces I’m in, so idk.

OH FRICK I’ve mostly been *in* the fandom spaces for real things lmao. (Read: I’m 100% making up everything at this point.) 

(awkward transition because I inserted the last two paragraphs later on)

And really, I played minecraft today for the first time in months. But it’s still with me, you know? The memories of being introduced to it, growing up with it. Going to the Nether with my cousins, my uncle’s giant survival mode cathedral. Mojang being bought by Microsoft and everybody hating it. (... me, my brother, my two friends, essentially... how did we even know??)

[I had part about the minecraft.net writers here but it was completely unrelated so it became it’s own post. I should do that more.]

(With every sentence the target audience of this post gets smaller.)

What was I saying? I’ll just wrap up. 

TL;DR: Dream SMP fandom feels like a fandom and not a Minecraft community and while that’s not necessarily a bad thing, I’ve realized I prefer a community feel, which makes me grateful I joined the phandom now. Also I shouldn’t be allowed to post things past 9:00pm. 

Oh my god I’m so sorry to all my mutrals. My tired loquacious reflex has kicked in. This is essentially a dan and phil stan blog, and though I know a few of you know what I’m going on about, I’m so sorry to the rest of you. 

Well, at least *I* think I’m a fascinating person with interesting things to say hahahahha. 

This is like a diary post. Should I post this? Yeah, other people should share my thoughts lol. OH NO: Late-night Tumblr fandom ramble posts are the new social-justice tirade/generally useless blog-like Goodreads reviews. At least it’s what Tumblr’s made for :P. 

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 3

Next!

Again, live blogging and posting my reactions all in one post to avoid spamming.

This post got accidentally deleted yesterday so I had to write or all again (twice!)

Oh, starting with a Klaus and Ben 1960 flashback! Ah, Klaus... You have no shame. Let my baby eat though!

Lol "Chanel". Boy knows his fashion, of course.

And there's Boney M playing!

You can practically read his mind when he sees that diamond. Sugar momma alert! 😆

Damn, loving the black outfit, very sexy.

LEVITATING KLAUS WAS BEN LIFTING HIM UP! Seems that one crack theory on the fandom was right 🤣

Ben's face though 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

These two are the best combo. I love them.

61, Baja, NM. Traveling hippie commune.

Is Klaus still sober? He refuses a joint here so I'm inclined to believe that he is but he isn't acting very sober... Then again that might be an act, just him embracing the hippy life.

CALLED IT!!! BEN FALLS IN LOVE, DOESN'T HE?! I FUCKING CALLED IT IN EP 1!

62, Varanasi, India. The river scene from the promos. Yeah, I called this one too. Klaus is already looking seriously uncomfortable and realizing this is getting out of hand.

63, San Francisco. Poor Klaus is practically suffocating under all the touching and nobody respects his space or his words.

Destiny's Children! 🤣 You are such a 90s kid, Klaus.

Run away, Klaus! Run! Escape the crazies.

Ok, let me paused to write out a thought...

So a lot of people were worried about the cult thing and Klaus's intentions but it's clear he had no malicious intentions at all. He charmed and impressed some people for survival purposes and thrived, he enjoyed the love and attention at first and the cult just grew around around him organically whether he liked it or not, more a hippy cult of personality then a religious sect, but at some point he saw that it had gone too far, the pressure and expectation became too much and he realized he'd bitten more than he can chew.

It's actually rather sad how he just wants to escape but the cultists objectify him to all hell, he has no privacy or personal space. The problem with Klaus is that he doesn't do anything mildly, he always goes too big until he's drowning. Boy is already self-sabotaging and I'm sure he's going to start self-destructing very soon as well.

End of thought. Clicking play again.

Ouch! Poor Diego 😰 Lila, that is not how you cauterize a stab wound...

"what happened?" -your dear daddy stabbed you, dude.

Did she really need to strip him so thoroughly? �� Yes, yes, she did.

Well, at least she's not sewing you up, Diego. No needles, yay.

"oh, he isn't dead." "Disappointed?" "To see you? Always 😊" -did I mention I love Five's sass? I did? Well, I do.

Old family friend 😆

"you don't untie him?" "Was I supposed to?" Oh Lila, you're adorable, poor Elliot.

Vanya, that is suspicious as hell, just mow down that weirdo!

Ok, good instincts but too slow.

Run, girl, run!

Got to admit, these Swedes are good battle strategy, they are surrounding her surprisingly well.

Is this were the badass Vanya promo was from? Show me badass Vanya, please.

BADASS VANYA! 💖

Ooooooh, very smart, Five!!!

One of the machines though? What are the others for? I'm curious.

Plano Street Rooming House for Solitary Men? That's real depressing, Luther.

It's the "the end is nigh" guy the same that was screaming with Luther in ep 1?

King Kong! Not sure if cute or rude af...

Ahahahah! Luther literally STUMBLING on "Allison" and then acting like an awkward Steve Rogers when the kids call him out 😆 Boy, when will you realize that your obsession is creepy?

Honestly, ALL the Hargreeves siblings can be divided into two categories- sweet awkward dork or sass king/queen, there is no in-between (but Diego and Klaus get to be both).

Convenient that Vanya would just sit there and wait to be found by Five but ok.

"I have a brother?" -honey, you have five (pun fully intended)

IKEA MAFIA! 😂

Nice crop circle, Vanya.

Five just rolls with the amnesia, huh? Doesn't even question it. Ok, then.

Why is Ruby, notorious mobster, sewing sequins? It's it for the dog? I bet, it's for the dog.

"Hargreeves. She your ex?" *Cue Luther's super awkward fumbling* "S-Sorta...Y-Yeah. Sure." - big boy, this is the point where you realize how creepy your crush on your own sister is, time to reevaluate.

KLAUS AND ALLISON REUNION! THEY ARE SO CUTE! 😭💜

Honestly, I need more Klaus and Allison interactions. They have so much bff potential.

*le gasp* "oh, you're married?" 😲 -yes, Klaus, you met him.

"dicks, drugs, debutants. My holy trinity" -ok so everything Klaus says should be taken with a grain of salt but does Klaus still do drugs or not? Considering the evolution of his powers with Ben I'd say no, but we aren't seeing other ghosts harassing him so... Hmm, I need confirmation.

"alternative spiritual community" my ass

Ah, Allison falls into the sass queen category.

Allison can have a little PTSD, as a treat. 😢

Those shoes! Hi, Handler.

Those shoes really are her signature by now. Those heels could kill a man.

Handler as a brunette...? She looks good but I like her bleach blonde.

What did she say to make that boy pee himself?? Damn, Handler, no wonder your kid is a mess.

These dudes need to start listening to my girl Allison, instead of following her husband like puppies.

Great speech, girl! ✊

What is up with that sandwich???

Oh wait, it's Ben right? Klaus is using his powers to get Ray out of jail, isn't he?

Yup, of course he is.

Ben being all sassy and cocky about it gives me life.

"high places" - 😆

Poor Ray, you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into.

"family barbecues are about to get reeeeeeeal weird" - I'd actually like to see that.

"leave the pot, dear" - you're such an old man, Five.

"any questions?" Five, if be worried if she DIDN'T have questions after all that.

"asteroid impact" -aww 💜 you really do care for her feelings, Five... But you have to tell her the truth sooner or later.

Harlan likes classical music, huh? Good thing he knows a good violinist.

Harlan and Sissy... 😭 My poor heart.

Ouch! What is wrong with you, Lila? You're right but what is wrong with you?

"I can't believe I got shanked by my own father" - can't you, Diego? Really? After everything else that man did to you and your siblings?

"man to man, that son of bitch wouldn't stand a chance" - yeah, he would, he taught you all you know, boy

Not sure if Lila's story is true or not but... I still have that one theory that she was born on October, 1989...

"I don't understand you!!!" - ahah, poor Diego 🤣

Really? Right in front of Elliot's tuna mold?

Man, Handler is really obsessed with Five...

Oh, Luther, you giant puppy...

This is so AWKWARD!

Bonbons, Luther? Really?

Ok, this small talk is even MORE AWKWARD! It physically hurts to listen to this.

The pain in his face and voice when Luther goes "S-so great" 😭

boy, this is the moment you realize it's time to move on, you're not isolated teenagers in a dysfunctional home anymore, let her be your sister and find love elsewhere.

The sit in!

"seven languages" sassy, sassy, I love her.

YOUNG DAVE!

Oh no... Klaus, no, baby... Oh, this is painful.

Ben, don't be mean, let your brothe have this.

What kind of gay man doesn't know what eggshell is? 😆

"is this considered stalking? 'cause I think you're stalking now" - well, BEN, following your brother 24/7 for 15 years can also be considered stalking

Oh no, Vietnam flashbacks... Poor Klaus 😭😭😭

"Vietnam fling"? Ben, you know it wasn't just a fling! Stop being mean.

Aw, Klaus just wants to save Dave... He's willing to sacrifice their relationship to save Dave's life... 😭😭😭

I know Ben is just worried but he could be less mean...

Damn, this sit in thing is really upsetting...

Why is Ray being weird? Is he suspicious of Luther and Alison's relationship? Or is he just unhappy that Allison kept secrets about her family?

Oh Luther, no... Self-harm by proxy is not going to make you feel better.

Oh, motherfucker! That coffee thing was such an asshole move!

Shit, this scene is so well written, the way something so small is making the whole protest escalate to all hell... The police brutality, the parallels with recent events... Disturbing and brilliant and deeply relevant!

Yes! Rumor that motherfucker, Allison!

Oh no, don't be scared of your wife, Ray! Don't be suspicious!

Poor Allison... 😢

Oh Luther, you dumbass... 😢

Lila going to meet mommy, huh?

Oh, she's still wearing Diego's bracelet. Cute.

I know this scene between Handler and Lila was supposed to be a shocking plot twist but after David Castañeda's interview slip up, I already knew.

Still, an excellent scene and very cool surprise.

Like I said before, I really like Lila, I don't trust her AT ALL but I like her.

...

THIS WAS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL EPISODE... Again.

My god, this show gives me life.

[fank0ne]

VIKINGS - 6.01 + 6.02

OMG. It's so weird to think I've seen the last first episode of this series that I've loved so dearly and is now one of my favorites. *Bittersweet symphony starts playing*

I've seen that Gustaf's name is not on the cast list of the opening anymore, so... is Floki dead? I honestly don't know what to think, especially with that Flatnose dude who is sketchy af. I wanna know what happened to him, ugh.

Lagertha. Bitch doesn't even have a single wrinkle, that's kind of embarrassing to be honest.

That flashback in which she sees Ragnar and Gyda (wow, somebody in the writer's room remembered about her, thank god) really broke my heart. Yo, everytime I see Ragnar I get emotional, don't judge. It's been a long way and so many things happened and it's just strange to think this will be the last season.

I absolutely loved the scene of Lagertha burying her sword and making the vow that she will no longer be a shieldmaiden. It was really well executed, kudos to Katheryne!

Is Lagertha going to keep her promise, though? It seems like she's going to be in a very dangerous situation soon, so... IDK, was the scene I mentioned before totally useless? I'm kinda confused about Lagertha's character, because it almost seems like the writers have noticed that most of the fandom doesn't like her as much anymore and they're somehow trying to redeem her by not letting her get involved with Ragnarssons business anymore... I'm not sure, though, we'll see which direction her character's gonna take.

Björn. Okay, Alexander is fine as fuck. That buzzcut is just *chef kiss*.

That said, y'all know I love my big bear and I know he means well, but he needs to get it together asap. He's a king, for fuck's sake! I wouldn't be surprised if he asked me an opinion about the whole Harald (woah, he's alive... kinda) situation. I honestly though he was gonna be a way better ruler, but the premises aren't that great. I'm sorry boo boo.

Gunnhild. I like her. She reminds me of both season1!Lagertha and Aslaug. I'm looking forward to knowing of her character. Also, I love her demeanor.

Ubbe and Torvi. Bruh. I love those two and their relationship. I admit I was very skeptical when they first got together (I though 'oh another weird kinda creepy in-familia Viking relationship, yikes'), but now I truly appreciate them. They're honestly very cute.

I love Ubbe, he's so kind-hearted and just adorable, a true cinnamon roll, but I think that his kindness is soon gonna be his biggest weakness, causing him trouble. In this sense, he reminds me a lot of Alfred and speaking of him... where the Saxons at? Is their storyline over..? I feel like we're not gonna hear of them any time soon/ever. This kinda sucks because I wanted my fair dose of Ulfred content, but it is what it is.

Torvi is preggo! Y'all, this whole time I thought she had a child with Björn and a child with Ubbe already. I'm stupid LOL I really like her character, she's grown on me so damn much.

Hvitserk. I had a lot of hope for him this season, thinking he would finally show what he's capable of, but hell nah, they really did my man dirty. It's sad because I kinda don't even feel sorry for him... at this point his presence mostly annoys me. However, he said an important thing during his delirium: "Only Ivar matters", he's so right guys. Björn is focusing on the wrong problem -- again, he needs to act smarter.

I've got a question: was Hvitserk eating the same herbs Yidu used to give Ragnar at some point?

Last but not least, Ivar and Prince Olag. The montage of Ivar looking at those animals with curious, wide eyes was really beautiful to see -- I hope they don't abuse the slow motion, though.

Oleg Is intriguing. He's totally crazy and for the first time ever, I've seen Ivar being both fascinated and scared of someone -- that's new!

The scene of the two of them flying together (I don't know how to explain it better, sorry..?) was so cute and guys, you know me... of course I ship them already! Who in their right mind wouldn't?!

Jokes aside, I really like the fact that Oleg opened up to Ivar and told him about his (romantic) past, basically giving us the answer to why they immediately clicked so well. They're very similar and they have so much in common. "I think you and I are going to have a very special relationship. I truly think so..." c'mon, just get married already!

Oleg poisoned the wine and watched his brother drink it... didn't it give you war flashbacks to when Kwenthrith did the same thing while Ragnar and King Ecbert poured the wine on the floor. Oh, the good ol' days... I'm so nostalgic, oh my god.

That dance Oleg made... that's me dancing whenever I'm drunk af.

The little moment between Ivar and Igor (every time they mention him I think of my man Tyler, the Creator LMFAO) was so damn cute. Alex is super young and basically doesn't have any facial hair, so I always forget Ivar is supposed to be a grown adult with kids -- all that and all I wanna say is that Ivar would be such a caring and loveable father, he truly enjoyed spending time with little Igor* (bruh, does he speak at all? LOL)

It was good to see my Viking folks; I feel like the enthusiasm I lost during season 5 (especially 5b) finally came back to mama: now I genuinely want to know what's going to happen next and I'm excited for this season. I don't have any type of particular expectations (except, @ Björn: do better!), which I think it's good..?

We'll see.

*he reminds me a lot of Cal from Manifest.

[the-judge-of-bones]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; MUN & MUSE - MEME.

FILL OUT & REPOST ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

TAGGED BY: @mrfunnybone​ TAGGING: Whoever see’s this and has a T or C in their username :P

(I would do this for gaster to but good lord this thing is longer then i thought HKDLAHS)

MY MUSE IS:  CANON / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. 

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. 

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. 

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. 

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO (in Canon, no, he’s not relevant to the main story. If he didn’t exist, the game wouldn’t miss much in terms of playability, But i do play him in a way that makes him more relevant)

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. (No matter the run you chose, You encounter sans at the end of the game)

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. (He’s well known because he helped in the construction of the core at a young age, Long before he was known for his lazy, joking nature)

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (It’s neutral now because most people in the usual time, don’t know he worked on the core, they don’t even know he was a scientist! and sans is generally hush, hush about it. He has a hard to work around attitude and it takes a long time to know the true him past the heavy walls he’s built up. So many people only know him as the slightly off, lazy, jokester sibling of papyrus)

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?  — While i do follow some points of canon, I am 100% far more canon-divergent then full canon, It’s just part of how i play muses. I put my own on my favorite chara’s and in some ways, make them my own.

SELL YOUR MUSE! AKA TRY TO LIST EVERYTHING, WHICH MAKES YOUR MUSE INTERESTING IN YOUR OPINION TO MAKE THEM SPICY FOR YOUR MUTUALS.  —  Mysterious, Sans is someone you apparently know everything yet nothing about, he’s open yet closed off to all that matters. He’s more then meets the eye, but he doesn’t have the energy to put that forth because of what’s going on behind the scenes of the world they live in, He adores his brother and cares greatly for the people who get close to him even if it’s hard to manage some days, he walks a fine line between unaware’s and knowing all.

NOW THE OPPOSITE, LIST EVERYTHING WHY YOUR MUSE COULD NOT BE SO INTERESTING (EVEN IF YOU MAY NOT AGREE, WHAT DOES THE FANDOM PERHAPS THINK?).  —  He’s not easy to get along with despite what the joking nature may seem, it’s at best ‘surface’ level type of friendship, He doesn’t like humans and he doesn’t like you. He can put on a facade for his friends, his family, but if you disappeared and didn’t come back? he wouldn’t care. He wouldn’t look for you, he wouldn’t do anything to get you back, Because unlike papyrus or toriel or anyone else, You aren’t worth the effort and you’d have to put a lot of work to get anywhere near that point.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?  —  I played sans in the past, a very, very long time ago. He was my first true muse on tumblr, but i didn’t play him well because i didn’t know what i was doing, It’s only recently that i saw the undertale fandom was still alive and well that i decided to jump back into this punny skeleton man i adored so long ago and turns out? my motivation for him never left! and i’ve laughed a lot in the short time i’ve played him.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?  —  It’s fueled a lot by my own love for the game, the character and the fandom itself but, that’s not to say it isn’t fueled by the interactions i’ve had either. it’s chaotic, silly, sad but wonderful, i’ve felt incredibly welcomed in a very short time ;w;

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? (This is one of those, i really damn well hope so but i’m not the best ‘judge’ of that :P)

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? (Me, glancing at my giant drabble like headcannons, me?? Nooooooo)

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO (If i don’t occasionally churn out a full af drabble then assume i’m dead)

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO (Yes, even when i’m not writing him, there’s always ideas or things i want to do in my head)

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? (Of course!)

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. (I am!, even if other people didn’t like it, I’m happy with how i write)

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA.  (Generally no!, I can be sympathetic both for chara’s and the muns behind them but it’s not going to get to me in a way that really impacts me.)

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?  ���  Of course, as long as it’s viable and useful criticism, i am more then happy to take it. Will i always agree with it? no, But will i always take it into consideration? yes.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?  — PLS

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  —  I’d be happy to know why someone dislikes it and what they have instead of that headcannon but i ain’t gonna be huffy if they don’t have a reason to dislike it

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?  — I’d be more then fine with it, they can tell me WHY if they want to but i’m also not gonna care if people don’t like how i do it personally, there’s plenty of sans out there, each with their own unique interpretation of the character. Don’t like this one, Go find a different one, If you don’t like any of them. Maybe write him yourself! :D

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?  —  I’d just shrug, Not everyone is going to like a character from a game, Like. I adore undertale but i don’t really like muffet. Does that mean i’m going to shit on muffet rpers? no. Does that mean i won’t interact with muffets? no.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?  — If you see them, you can but unless it’s a big mistake. i prob won’t go back to fix it.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?   —  Awh yeah, i am chaotic and feral but i’m friendly and i don’t bite. If anything, i’m overenthusiastic.

[tarajenkins]

It’s me, of course I have thoughts on the MSQ , be warned there are all the spoilers below the cut

First up is--surprise!--Eulmore!

I was pretty hype hype af when I learned we were going to meet the adviser to Vauthry's father. I was sure we were going to finally get some truth out about what the dickpickle let Emet-Selch do to his wife and unborn son. Instead, we got to hear him elevated to the source of "the good old days" of Eulmore -- even though he was uncaring of casualties in the Echo flashback, even though he was bad enough at his job the citizenry was being stirred up against him, and he wanted to rule not just Eulmore, but the world, in his words. 

And then we just got to stand by and /smile and /nod while everyone else laid all the blame on one of Emet-Selch’s biggest victims once again. (seriously, I will never be stop being skeeved how The Men(tm)  discussed the wife’s bodily autonomy while she stood right there, looking terrified) It didn’t feel heroic, at all, just as it didn’t feel heroic how politely we dismissed the man who bought Yotsuyu  and pressed her into prostitution.  The narrative at least afforded Yotsuyu sympathy.  I have never seen a character in this game dehumanized quite so hard as Vauthry. Meanwhile, the one who corrupted him is the fandom darling. I’d wonder why that is, but I know, and it’s depressing that is even a thing in this the year 2019. 

I still do not get the reasoning behind blaming Vauthry for his actions, the one other excuse I see given for not empathizing with his plight. Claiming he is fully culpable is like blaming Thancred for the massacre at the Waking Sands. I'm not entirely sure why Vauthry should be held to a different standard than literally every other character who has been corrupted by the sin eaters. 

The writers were at least very clear to establish he was physically and mentally corrupted by the Lightwarden wedged directly in his chest (on the heart side, interestingly), from the moment we met him. In the Japanese, he even shares Titania’s speech pattern, to indicate he is also “off” like they were. How could he be expected to have true control when no one else in the same situation -- not even the WoL, at the end, without intervention -- did? We're to forgive the Eulmoran nobility for being "influenced" by him, despite their having free will the entire time before we went to fight him -- but we then completely ignore he was influenced corrupted before he was even born? By a Lightwarden, that no one short of the WoL had a chance of resisting--and the WoL would have destroyed worlds, had they lost control. Would the WoL have been responsible for that, would the destruction have been their (evil) informed decision -- or the inability to resist the instincts/will of the Lightwardens?

tl;dr: It would really be nice to let it be known who the actual bad guys were. If not Emet-Selch, because explaining Ascians is complicated, then certainly Vauthry's father, rather than elevate that man to "the good old days" of Eulmore. They used a woman like an animal to turn her infant into a monster. To sweep that under the rug is the last thing I'd expect from a "hero". :s

I had to laugh that no one wanted Vauthry’s responsibilities for running the city to the point Nuzz had to be shoehorned into the role, though. And he and Dulia had some really cute squishy moments. Press f for Nuzz’s pelvis lmao

It has inspired me to do some spicy Chai arts I hope to finish soon. >>

Square is just blatantly pushing the pixel fanservice with Kai-Shirr’s deliveries, though. Getting Eulmore’s agriculture and military up and running again are dire concerns, but we are first going to focus on turning the place into a tourist trap with....an adult nightclub. Eulmore seems to be the only place in the First with airships, useful for many things, and therefore highly lucrative, but we’re....going to help with the nightclub. Alphinaud is going to faint dead away, get those Ondo pearls ready for clutching!

I loved the new dungeon and Beq Lugg, although they killed me a lot, and I am really glad the Afflicted have a chance at recovery. I am also really jazzed the canon theories for helping them out turned out to be almost identical to the theories @onewonderfulbug and I used in our RP with Unna, in her quest to separate her patron from the Lightwarden. I agonized for weeks I was not being clever enough, lmao  (except her method is science-based, not “porxie”-based. Alisae ilu and I WANT TO BELIEVE but)

Speaking of Alisae, I really love they are making the Scions so much more personable, though it will cost Alphinaud his life.

An Lad seems to be Titania reborn, and I am so glad at least one of the Lightwarden-corrupted characters survived, in a way. Sad they might not remember their old life, though. :s Speaking of reincarnations, Asahi, gtfo. Datamining confirmed that is his face under the mysterious “dog’s” hood. It has to be someone just borrowing his face, but why was Yotsuyu killed off and this twerp given ANY other sort of screen time is beyond me. I am NOT a Zenos fan, lmao. I love his nose but I hate his complete lack of depth. Maybe it will get better, but not counting on it.  what the fuck was even that proto-Ultima thing, jfc how horrifying. Also as a non-Dragoon and a scrub ffffffuck your animation locks Estinien. >:C I unlocked the raid but I am full of fear. Amazing music though! ALSO FORGIVEN CRUELTY MOUNT, UNNA GONNA SIT HER BUTT ON IT SOON AS SHE GETS HER HANDS ON NUTSY’S SACKS  I am so sorry for making you read that with your eyes She went to NG+ immediately, to forever wallow in the time things hurt slightly less. :(

[sheikah]

if TGT was a saint's story then the chapel scene should have been how it ended. It was a true sacrifice and Alina had AGENCY. (It was also badass af). I hated that her power was carved out of her and given to other people. I hated that she didn't know what the third amplifier would do to her. The end was just so anticlimactic after we'd already gotten this fantastic scene. Also Alina following Aleks into the next world... soft hours only :(

So I’m conflicted on parts of this lol. Like I said in my answer to that ask, the chapel scene is one of my favorites because it’s so crazy intense and heartbreaking and beautifully written. And I agree if it was a saints story it would’ve ended there and been the whole Santka Alina’s martyrdom. I also like that she had agency and made the choice to try and sacrifice herself in that scene. I like that. I also share your sadness that she lost her powers so abruptly at the end of R&R. She deserved better. BUT as much as I love and adore Aleks and ship the hell out of Darklina, and as much as I genuinely love the “following him into the next world” line, I’m kind of glad it didn’t end there. It would have been a tragic OTP ending for the ages but… I don’t want Alina dead. I’m a Daenerys Targaryen stan and I had to see my baby sacrificed for some idea of the greater good. And before we saw Jon murder her, many in the fandom speculated that Dany would sacrifice herself to save Westeros from the Long Night. So it was like everyone just accepted that she had to die to play her role. I hate that, you know? It’s hard to say a main character can be “fridged” but Dany was and I would hate for Alina to be. As much as I don’t ship M@lina I accept the ending because I want Alina happy and well. (Even if a sad little part of my Darklina soul believes she is still mourning Aleks).

[migleefulmoments]

C(r)abby-isms #1

Today we will look at the fine, fine work of Dr. Cassie and Dr. Abby who wrote a research paper discussing the feminism and female body image.  It’s a stunning piece of work by team C(r)abby: 

Anonymous asked:

I really don’t get the constant manipulation of pics. Isn’t the whole point for M to be recognized? I remember when I first met D I was surprised at how tiny he was —-even though he made it WELL known that he was “pint size”. I understand that we all have egos but this goes beyond that. To even distort the the images of people around you to improve your appearance? If she wanted a tall man beside her she should have married one. Thoughts? (Here we have a stunning, outside-the-box problem solving right here; If Mia is going to obsessed about Darren’s height, she should have chose a partner based solely on his longitude. Just imagine  how much easier dating would be if we simply chose ONE physical characteristic and only dated people who met that criteria.)   

Dr. Cassie @cassie1022 answered:

Nonnie, the constant exposure is absolutely to get little miss “I never wanted to be associated with someone famous” recognized. (Dr. Cassie points out that in 2016, Mia gave an interview in which she spoke about dating someone famous and how social media impacts her. Dr. Cassie has consistently misquoted her. Mia did not say she “never wanted to be associated with someone famous”, she said “Being closely associated with someone in the public eye—which was never something I really wanted or thought I would be—it wasn’t a predicament I thought I would find myself in.” In other words, falling in love with a celebrity wasn’t something she sought out or imagined for herself before Darren was on Glee.The ccers have long used this interview to hurl insults at Mia by misconstruing the context and meaning of this statement and insinuating she should have simply broke up with Darren rather than learn to cope with cyberbullies like Dr. C(r)abby).  The distortion of the people in pics with her is shining a GIANT spotlight on her lack of confidence in her appearance. (Since you have not established that in fact Mia IS altering photos to make herself appear shorter (such a weird thing to do), the only spotlight it is shining is the one on how you, Dr. Cassie, are a misogynistic bully. Like all good gaslighters, you and Dr. Abby simply repeat this lie over and over until the fandom believes that Mia is photoshopping photos of Darren). She’s physically attractive (She’s drop-dead gorgeous). She has no reason to constantly change things.  (you haven’t proved that she has in fact changed anyone’s image but one could argue that the reason would be that she is fat shamed by Darren fans). The thing about D is, he’s not that short but he’s super tiny (no, he isn’t “tiny” he is actually of average height and he has a perfectly normal BMI). He embraces it. I’m sure he’d like to be a little taller (really? why are you “Sure”? that is pure speculation on your part based on your own stereotypical biases), but he knows what he is and he’s comfortable in his own skin (you don’t know that), for the most part.M clearly isn’t. As for M making him taller and making herself look thinner, well, it just shows how unhappy with herself she is (you are literally body shaming her AND criticizing her for feeling self-conscious for being publicly body shamed AND dismissing the role you are playing in the body shaming. THIS IS the epitome of misogyny! THIS is so harmful to young women. I can’t...). She could marry a man taller than her if that’s what she wants (besides the obvious- you made up this entire trope about her height issues- healthy, self -actualized  adult humans actually chose their life-mate for a variety of reasons- they don’t chose based on 1 single, superficial physical characteristics).  She wants to make D suffer more, and that’s twisted (She makes Darren suffer more?!!!!????  Hahahaha...omg...what? Please explain how exactly is Darren suffering? Even if you are correct and she hates that he isn’t quite tall enough, how does altering a photo actually making Darren suffer? That is so stupid I can’t believe you wrote that, Dr. Cassie). 

Dr. Abby @ajw720 added:

My opinion, she clearly hates her appearance, (well Dr. Abby, since you wrote the trope, we would expect nothing less.... however it is a huge leap in logic and one you cannot make based on the evidence you have provided-at least you did label it as “my opinion” because that is all it is) otherwise it is not necessary (again you bully and body-shame her  and then claim any concerns she may have are invalid- pretty gross and misogynistic) So instead of being a strong and proud woman, the definition of feminism (but is it really the definition of feminism? nope, no it is not fem·i·nism: the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes; feminism noun fem·​i·​nism | \ ˈfe-mə-ˌni-zəm 1: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes 2: organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests) who maybe thinks she has flaws but embraces them,(like you do Abby?) she is anything but (so according to Abby, a feminist is a woman who is strong  and proud with flaws she embraces-not the definition of “feminism” and men and be feminists), and instead she has reduced herself to having to fit into a ridiculous stereotype (you call it a “ridiculous stereotype” and yet you have called her “big boned” and claimed she isn’t thin enough to wear a strappy gown) if being a tiny woman that fits in a size 0 (hmmm.. from what I can see the only person reducing Mia to a “ridiculous stereotype of being a tiny woman” is YOU, Dr. Abs. You also refer to yourself as “tiny AF”).  Really sad (Yep, you are really sad).

Even sadder? (tell us!) Those young impressionable woman that think she is super feminist and a role model, now all think they have to be super skinny to achieve this, not because she is a size 0, but because she photoshops herself in every damn photo to have that appearance instead of embracing her body. (Wait wait wait....let me make sure I understand this, Dr. Abby- you’re demonizing Mia for a theory you fabricated about her hating her own body so much that she photoshops her husband to be taller than her (He already is taller than her) and You are not upset that we live in a fat-shaming society which pressures women and girls to be skinny or that Darren’s fans bully Mia over her body size, her hygiene, and her style ? Nooooooo, you’re upset that girls and women look up to Mia and the crime is that she might be both self-conscious about her body AND a feminist at the same time? That is what you really believe is “sadder”? First of all, once again, you do not understand the definition of “feminist”-and I know you have been schooled on it many times. A feminist is NOT a “strong and proud women” who never suffers from self esteem issue, you twit. A feminist is someone who believes in equality of the sexes.  What I find “sadder” is that you mislead young girls and women about what a feminist is by repeating the same misogynistic tropes spread by the patriarchy. I find it “sadder” that women who follow you learn that strippers contaminate where they sit with their dirty, drippy vaginas (whereas singers standing on the same surface with or without shoes hasn’t even made you blink)). Yet we are the ones who are body shaming…..(stating that Mia is “big boned” and “too big for that gown” and criticizing her hygiene does in fact make you the one doing the body shaming-it is the very definition of body shaming) 

As we have said before, D is tiny, (yes, you keep repeating that...why is that Abby? What about him being tiny gets you off?)  he makes nearly every adult human look large in comparison (well there are a lot of adult humans who are his size including his wife) if that makes her uncomfortable, here is a novel idea, stop holding herself out as his plus 1 (also fake) and i don’t know, the world see her with her actual man who happens to be tall.(once again you’ve written an entire backstory with motivation, feelings and motivation behind a photo that doesn’t hold up to scrutiny. It’s all YOUR fantasy Abby and what you WANT to believe is true; her actual man is Darren Criss.  They got married on February 16, 2019. You might remember the night.). 

[calum-squish]

Crazy 2am thing:

I’m jamming out to sgfg from my laptop while surrounded by my 2014 5sos posters no my door and reading tweets on my phone from Easier-era 5sos about how the youngblood era is dead. It suddenly hit me really hard how much of an impact 5sos has had on my life and who I am today. I’m not just talking about the 7 piercings I was inspired to get because of their 2014 punk aesthetic. I’m not talking about the flannel I rushed to buy because their SLFL concert in Madison Square Garden started in 2 hours and I didn’t “blend in” with the 5sos fam waiting outside the venue as much as I wanted. I’m talking about the fact that I probably really wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for 5sos.

I sat in this exact spot, on my bed, in my room at home 3 years ago in 2016, depressed af, literally crying as I listened to skh and safety pin and broken home, and the rest of the album, even though it was the only thing that brought me joy at the time. There was so much that just… was dark in my life at the time. I was depending on 5sos to stay afloat. Sounds Good Feels Good, an album primarily about depression and mental health was such a life saver. I related to so many of the lyrics, but also, was inspired by them. 5sos put a smile on my face every day and gave me the ability to stay positive through the sadness. I truly developed the “it will get better” mentality because of them, and the 5sosfam on tumblr.

Now I’m here in 2019, in the same spot, listening to these same songs for the first time in a while, and I’m overcome with emotion. They were right. It was worth it. I’m so happy right now. I no longer really live at home, I’ve got a life in America. I have 5 amazing friends, where I previously had zero. I have a boyfriend who loves me, which I previously thought impossible. I have grown in self-confidence once I left this house and my high school, both very toxic, draining places, so much so that my confidence surprises even me sometimes. I sit here in 2019 belting out the same songs I did in 2016, but now they’re sung in triumph. They are no longer my sole motivators, the thread I’m hanging on to. I don’t draw my strength from them anymore, but I am grateful to what they did for 2016 me. And I’m grateful to 5sos for being there for me when no one else was.

I’m living in America now because of them. I literally did a whole foreign exam in order to get into an American college. My motivation? Seeing 5sos in concert. With my success came the opportunity to leave my father situation at home behind, and create a happy life for myself far away. I’m crying again listening to these, but this time, they’re happy tears. I’m overwhelmed by how drastically my life has changed, and that the lyrics I clung to as mottos, put all my faith in, were right. It got better. I patched up all the holes. I’m alright.

I sit here, with 5sos surrounding me, as they have from 2014, and I realise, the love I had for them has evolved. The love I feel for them now is no longer “Calum Hood’s hot I wanna marry him.” It’s so much more than that. These boys have been with me through the lowest points of my life. They’re the only people who have never let me down. It’s crazy…I’ve never even met them. But I’ve grown with them. I haven’t always 100% agreed with the directions they’ve gone in musically, and there have been times where I thought “okay this is it. I’ve apparently outgrown 5sos and their music. Time to leave the fandom.” But something always kept me right where I was. The love I have for these boys…I can’t explain it. It’s something deep and unshakeable. It’s more than the infatuation with 4 aussies that it began with. It’s…true I suppose. They’re my first true loves because of the support we’ve given each other, the struggles I’ve faced both with them and outside of them. I don’t know…its 3am now and I’m just rambling. I just wanted to capture my emotions in this moment. What it felt like to sing sgfg from my laptop to 2014 5sos posters on my door as I looked at 2019 luke’s confident predecessor ig post.