#rtd really said no it's fucking GAY now.

[grntaire]

when i tell you this episode was cooked up in a "making me insane" lab. the doctor dancing with and kissing jonathan groff at a bridgerton-inspired regency ball. when they first meet a string quartet is playing bad guy. his character was named after d&d. kylie minogue plays on his spaceship. they dance to libertango. they stage a scene that turns into a fake proposal that felt a little too real. oh and jonathan groff says "find me" before sacrificing himself for ruby and the doctor puts that ring on the finger that he canonically put his last wedding ring. it hit like a queered-up tennant era episode and i feel totally normal and chill about it

[oreo102]

Please I'm so so curious to hear your thoughts on 10/14

Ok so my thoughts on 10 are less than 14 so let’s start with him lol. I have not watched 10, so my hatred of him is more hatred by proxy of how the fandom treats him and proxy of 14, but I still do have a few specific thoughts and this will be long and definitely rambly

A) when talking about him I usually refer to him as Fandom’s Favorite White Boy or Pathetic Wet Cat/Twink mostly because it’s funny but for now I’ll use 10. The most I know about 10 is that he is angsty and in love with rose and besties with Donna… also that he’s pathetic but that’s more vibes

So- my hate of 10 is less tangible than 14 but i still have a few points, the main one being the way i see ppl talk about how he treated Martha and how obsessed with rose he was. I don’t think it’s ever compelling to have someone’s main personality trait be loving someone a whole lot which also honestly is my problem with rose (don’t hate her but don’t care about her)

From what I have seen and heard of 10 it’s rather… boring, honestly? Like it’s mostly clips out of context but for 13 and 15 I saw clips out of context and was like “ok wth is happening? /pos” with 10 it’s more like “wtf?” Also pretty sure his episodes were some of the ones I saw when my parents had the show on that played a part in me swearing the show off so

Ok onto the more tangible hatred of 14. A lot of this, admittedly, is more about the writing and showrunner decisions than 14 but those things by proxy makes me hate him

So- I have a lot of feelings on him quite literally starting from his first appearance in power of the doctor. I am SO PETTY that he doesn’t wear 13’s silly little outfit. Like I have gone on full rants about that fact to my friends and family

I’ve seen something claim that rtd didn’t want 14 to wear her outfit because people might be transphobic and derogatory towards him (even tho Dhawan!master wore it, and it’s pretty gender neutral) but then did nothing about the shit ppl said about ruby’s actor or about ppl who would be a bitch about rose the second being nonbinary(also i remember seeing a post about their deadname being mentioned in an episode? Not totally sure that’s true tho)

The 60th anniversary specials themselves don’t really celebrate Dr who as a whole as much as 10’s run with a few old villains but that’s not really my main issue with that. My main issue with the specials is that the Doctor gets their happy ending. With Donna. And her family. When fucking 3-4 episodes prior, their happy ending would’ve been yaz. It would’ve been staying with yaz. But nope! Donna! Because that’s what 10 would’ve wanted.

And I don’t want 14 to be with yaz, btw, I mean I want them to meet and for yaz to hit him, but I don’t want them to be a thing or like be together because I believe yaz is a lesbian but that’s not the point of this so moving on

I also have very much big issues with the scene where 15 and 14 are (presumably, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the full scene) talking about women they love and mention who I assume to be River and rose but not yaz, who again, they wanted to spend forever with 3-4 episodes prior. It makes the doctor seem like a douchebag even if it’s a writing issue and not a character issue

Also 14 being David tenant overshadows 13’s departure and 15’s arrival and since he is most likely going to show up at least a little bit in s14 he’ll overshadow 15 in his own series. It’s icky at the very least.

There’s something inherently bad about having the fandoms Favorite White Boy be with a contentious casting decision (because I have no faith in the Dr who fandom not to be bigoted) and even if no one has an issue with 15 being black and maybe gay (is he gay? He gives gay vibes) it’s still setting him up for failure by pairing him with 14

Also bigeneration is so fucking dumb and I hate it

Also also stop giving the Dr 19 year old companions it’s getting kinda weird now

[its-that-gay-fox]

exactly 3 minutes and 14 seconds into the star beast and it’s the best thing i’ve ever seen. we’ve had the weird saunter 10 had, donna saying “oi!”, and the doctor freaking out cause he heard the name rose. i’m about to have a heart attack

edit: now at 5:11 and donna’s missed everything, psychic paper made a mistake, and the doctor said allons-y. i am very fucking ill

edit edit: currently at 39:07 and i fucking love this. also pulled my hampstring flailing around when donna mentioned the doctor without him ever saying his name. also also i love shirley and rose to the death and the meep is just genius. rtd is amazing

edit edit edit: 42:30. crying. the look right before he said “why does it have to be this” was the exact look he did in end of time right before he said “lived to long”. i am very very ill. rtd is not amazing

46:32- “do what you want” he lost donna. again. she died in his arms. he has no reason to live anymore.

51:58- donna and the doctor are puppy dog eyeing so much rn i can’t- and shaun calling the doctor gay i am dead in a ditch

53:28- donna and the doctor fangirling over the new tardis interior i fucking love them-

in conclusion, the star beast is the best doctor who content ever, donna and rose poking fun at the doctor cause he can’t understand somethings when he’s a guy, and the trans representation is amazing. the star beast was really crack fic vibes with minimal but not none angst and i loved it. rtd is absolutely fantastic.

(there’s a nine reference somewhere in this post, see if you can find it!)

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

Okay so I had a quick look around their website, which is designed awfully, and kinda fell down a rabbithole with it because it's just weird.

Their website is just weird; I don't have a better word for it. I'd maybe say it's trying to be like a manic pixie dream drink because it's really trying hard to be quirky and presumably appeal to the youth.

I say that because they have a Gen Z consultant linked on their LinkedIn which I made an account for to snoop around on

I won't include the guy's name, but again, it is on their public LinkedIn page.

Which is also weird because of course it is. Here's some of the jobs listed on the page:

Now I'm not one for imposing arbitrary standards of what professionalism is, but maybe I am, in this case. This is a brand that sells alcohol; I feel that maybe one needs to demonstrate some level of trustworthiness on fucking LinkedIn.

"chief oomf" refers to the founder of the company, Spencer Hoddeson.

While "chief oomf" fills me with all the confidence of a fainting goat, he isn't lying when he says "award-winning". Gay Water has won two awards, specifically these:

The BevNet Best RTD (Ready-to-Drink) Cocktail 2023 Spirit Award and a bronze medal in the RTD category at the 2024 Craft Spirits Packaging Awards.

The packaging design was done by Ryan Sagawa

The above picture is maybe the most professional thing about their entire website besides the logo showing that they are a certified LGBT Business Enterprise via the National LGBT Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC).

What that means is that the NGLCC have been able to certify that at least 51% of the business is owned and operated by someone/s queer. It's not easy to get that certification and honestly, scanning through the application process for that made me deeply uncomfortable and I could make an entire post about that alone

Their website design is also godawful. Birds of a feather I guess.

Anyway, you are also able to make an account on Gay Water's website which I did and as far as I can tell, it's just like a shopping portal.

Which by the way, if you want to buy something from their website, they don't have the ingredients listed anywhere. It just says that there are 3 ingredients and that neither sugar nor gluten is not one of them.

Truly, the epitome of trustworthiness. Exactly what I want in an alcohol brand; no ingredients listed and the knowledge that there's a roblox gamer employed by the company.

If you do sign up for an account and place an order, they do ask for your name and address for that, and I'd 100% recommend not giving your real name or address. I didn't. I just don't think it's a good idea to give them any personal data considering how little trust they inspire as a brand and the brand seemingly being aimed at queer people.

That brings me onto their privacy policy which honestly, I don't know if it's Concerning Weird or just We're-So-Quirky Weird. I've never in my life read a privacy policy with an interpretation section, and also due to said section, certain words are capitalised because their definitions are specific, as such:

I highlighted the bit about California because as someone not from the US, I don't have a clue if California has a different policy that companies have to comply with or not. If not, then it's another level of weird.

What is certainly weird is them defining "Country" as New York:

Also there's a weird thing around their "Facebook Fan Page" that I am just very confused about. It says Facebook, but it's an Instagram page and it's the same page as the one linked at the top of their website. At first I thought it might be a mix-up since Facebook owns Instagram, but Facebook became Meta in 2021 and their privacy policy was last updated in 2022.

Your guess is as good as mine about that.

Though speaking about their Facebook page, their little about section on that lists their location as Florida, New York, California and New Jersey.

I don't have a clue what that's about. I presume they've got bases of some form in those four states. Maybe they have a sex therapy office in California since apparently someone has that job at the company, and maybe the Chinese Blackbelt is in New Jersey.

Also you might notice that there are 3 reviews on their Facebook page and if you thought this couldn't get weirder, it can:

Apparently they also cure herpes and cancer.

The links in the reviews take you to different "herbal doctor" pages on Facebook, and I genuinely don't know what to do with this information. No idea if this is actually linked to gay water or if it's unrelated and just part of some quack doctor grifts.

But at the very least, you'd expect them to remove the reviews or reply to them to clarify that the company is not related to these herbal doctors because what the fuck?

tl/dr: This company is about as trustworthy as the bloke in charge of the Glasgow Wonka experience. Do not give them any personal data. Do not buy from them.

marketing guy: hmmm yeah we need to make vodka soda branded as “gay water.” make sure the packaging looks like diaper packaging.

other marketing guy: maybe we should add funny little stickers, like–

both at the same time: racism is small dick energy!

[rlainarin]

ok now my spoiler thoughts under the cut on that Doctor Who episode and I'm sorry but this is me being a gay little fucker

love how I went in like "if this is fucking Jack I will kill RTD" and now I have an AO3 tab open waiting to hunt for a really good fic about that being Jack because you know what? I'm sold. my little Torchwood heart is fucking sold, that's Jack, and it's like wow because honestly I'd never have said before this that I REALLY shipped Jack and the Doctor, but

like THIS. like that they're stuck in this loop and before the Doctor ever loved Jack, Jack was doomed to the Doctor not being able to love him anymore. that Jack was doomed to love the Doctor before they met and the Doctor was doomed to love JACK before they ever met, and they were also doomed that it would NEVER BE RIGHT, and YES I understand that this is also totally giving River energy but.

this was fanservice to me and I am eating it up.

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

[songforten]

@kittycatfite first of all, no need to apologize for commenting, i post stuff like this in order to have these conversations! secondly i'm going to have to hardcore disagree with basically everything you've said.

while i appreciate your in-universe explanation for rory's disgust, i think it's... kind of irrelevant. at the end of the day that scene was kept in the final cut of the episode because arthur darvill's disgusted reaction to matt smith surprise kissing him was deemed funny by the people making the show. the disgust is the punchline regardless of why you think the character may have felt it.

i genuinely think you need to rewatch the scene where nine and jack kiss in Parting of the Ways, because in no way is it played off as a joke. now personally i believe the feelings there ARE reciprocated, but again, that's irrelevant, because the difference there is that nine doesn't look like he's about to yartz when jack kisses him. hell, he even leans into it.

honestly, look at this scene. it's nothing if not completely sincere. no music, no goofy sfx, nothing, just three people who have feelings for each other -- what those feelings are is up to you -- saying goodbye, because jack so firmly believes that he is going to die here. it's played just as seriously and with the same weight (if less dramatically) as when nine and rose kiss a few minutes later. jack harkness was a character rtd wrote in 2005 to "introduce bisexuality to tv" and this is how he did it. jack is flirty, promiscuous, a bit of a rascal, but he loves so wholly and deeply. he says goodbye to his friends of different genders the exact same way, holding their faces and kissing them gently.

i seriously do not understand the fandom revisionism going on where people believe this scene is anything but sweet and sincere. regardless of how you think the doctor feels towards jack, the ninejack kiss was not played as a joke by the show or done for laughs, and it's ridiculous to place it in the same category as stuff like eleven kissing rory or jack kissing graham.

as for the WLW kisses... what, all two of them? vastra and jenny, as much as i have a soft spot for them, don't actually get to kiss in a romantic gesture. they're allowed to be explicitly attracted to one another -- which is more than can be said for some Other wlw relationships on the show (cough, thasmin, cough) -- but when it comes to their "kiss", it's them "sharing air" in deep breath. again, i have a soft spot for this, it was very important to 11 year old questioning me, but it's not really the diversity win some people are pretending it is. conversely, bill and heather's kiss is, like nine and jack's, wholly sincere. it's the moment when bill is saved, when she's given new life, and given the chance to show someone else the universe the way the doctor showed it to her.

tl;dr i don't think sorting the show's gay kisses into boxes of wlw/mlm is all that helpful, we're really not all that different ;P and also i think the fandom could use a rewatch of series one a.) because it fucks and b.) because i feel like people don't really remember the context of some of this stuff.

gotta say, while i am enjoying everyone posting screenshots of all of doctor who’s gay kisses to clown on all those articles claiming rogue had the first one, i’m a little 🤨🤨 at all those people including eleven and rory and jack and graham on that list. like those are two scenes played solely for comedy where one person’s disgusted reaction to being gay kissed is focused on for the audience to laugh at. like i’m sorry but that is just homophobia.

[mediawhorefics]

thoughts on doctor who!! echoes of previous companions always gets me good, like billie piper as The Moment

oh i have SO much to say about doctor who rip here's an incoherent rant/list of opinions !!

i'm an rtd-era supremacist so i'm DYING with excitement over his return!!! also this 14 news ??? HELLO?????????? SO SO SO EXCITED!!!!

my first doctor was 10 and he has remained my fav through and through. tho ofc i love them all in different ways. (fun fact my beta is the one who introduced me to dw back in the day)

my top three companions are donna (MY GIRL !!!!)/rose/the ponds

yes, i am in love with karen gillan and would like a spare hand in marriage ma'am

my greatest dw heartbreak is the fact that peter capaldi is one of my favourite actors and was probably the greatest ambassador for the show and i absolutely LOATHE the writing for his era.

steven moffat IS my nemesis and i hate what he did with the show. this man should have never been a showrunner. he's good with limits and boundaries and standalone.

full offence, i hate clara with a burning passion, no shade to the actress she's very talented, but everything about that character rubs me the wrong way. from the ~born to save the doctor bullshit to the has no life outside the doctor until moffat randomly decided to half-ass giving her a career to the badly written attempts at her having feelings for 11... truly, i despite this storyline so fucking much. again ship what you like but i don't get doctor/clara AT ALL. it makes me angry just thinking about it now. and she was there for SO long UGH.

my favourite series are s4 & s5 (yes i hate moffat i love s5, its complicated). also s2 because ROMANCE!!!!!

i hate moffat writing women for obvs reasons but i do love river song. highkey as much as i love matt & alex together NOTHING beats 12/river because peter capaldi said i'm playing a whole time lord in LOVE in that one episode they had together and my fucking HEART y'all. i know i have an unhealthy crush on peter capaldi but his face when he looks at her <333 it's almost as good as ten & rose's in love and utterly devoted to each other faces.

doctor/river still don't hold a candle to 10/rose obvs that shit was it. she was IT. rip to 16 yo me watching doomsday for the first time that shit fundamentally changed me as a person. where's that deancas/tenrose comparison post ?? cut me open and that's what you'll see.

i miss rtd era side characters SO much they were SO lived in and memorable and REAL and they made the show. we lost soooo much of doctor who's heart when he left.

its cringe but i ADORE torchwood despite all of its flaws. ianto jones was one of the very first bi-adjacent characters i ever connected with and he is SO dear to me. rip to my boy it's disgusting what rtd & co did to him :((( baby's first bury your gays, i was 17 and i still haven't recovered. thank god for big finish and all the quality torchwood content they produce.

speaking of big finish... if you're a who fan who hasn't tried to expended universe, i cannot recommend the 8th doctor audios enough. he is FANTASTIC and actually one of my favourite doctors. paul mcgann is INCREDIBLE in the role and it's criminal we only have the movie and that tiny one-shot for the 50th anniversary.

@ RTD JUSTICE FOR EIGHT IN THE 60TH SPECIAL

10/donna are the best tardis team end of. that tennant/tate chemistry??? CHEF'S KISS. @ rtd fix her. @ rtd bring her back. i am no longer asking !!!!

christopher eccleston is CRIMINALLY underrated. 9 deserves SO much love. i adore him. thanks @ big finish for bringing him back to me.

matt smith was the best at playing ancient. i still don't know how he did that thing with his eyes where he looked 1000 yo but wow.

cybermen are incredibly boring and i really dislike most of their eps. i'll take 50 dalek stories over cybermen ones idc.

we never should have seen the weeping angels after blink. they've lost more and more of their appeal the more their mythology has been expended on.

i still don't understand the whole silence cult vs silence species thing and at this point, i'm too afraid to ask.

some of us witnessing the andrew garfield renaissance remember frank and his 1930s fruitiness from 2007 is all i'm gonna say.

[smokyproggrock]

Spyfall part 2 thoughts

SPOILERS!! also this ended up a lot longer than I expected.

so much of this episode were callbacks to past doctor who!! basically fanservice but I was an absolute sucker for it

the first scene on the plane was so good, from that alone I could already tell this episode would be amazing. The way it transitioned from 13 in the strange dimension to the plane scene, and how 13 talking to herself worked with the action...

the doctor saving them from crashing was the main reason why I knew it would be good bc I knew it would eventually explain how she saved them and I love when stuff like that happens

the blink reference had me screaming, I know it’s basic but that was so cool

I was very glad we got to see 13 in a suit for another entire episode. gay rights

the “chase through time” was so cool, it was amazing and worked perfectly in the story, and I feel like if they elaborated on that it would make a stunning story

l loved Eda so much. The fact that the doctor didn’t kiss her at the end is homophobic

The WWII scene at the beginning rly reminded me of the empty child/the doctor Dances and I was hoping they’d make a reference

I was sad she had to erase their memories but I understand why

I also loved the contrast between the historical scenes and the fam in modern day

A lot of the things 13 did this episode reminded me a lot of 11. like talking to herself in the weird dimension and the apparating man scene

also when she addressed the light beings after coming to save the day she said “listen you lot” which reminded me of the pandorica speech and then she said something like “this planet is protected” which reminded of 11’s speech at the end of the eleventh hour

I also loved seeing her in a more serious mood

When the doc stole the masters tardis that was so good, especially when he was like “that was the worst 77 years of my life”

It’s so satisfying to see the master get outsmarted when he thinks he’s in control

the light beings across time is not what I expected, I wanted it to be parallel earths bc of part one and when the master said everything you know is a lie I thought it was about the nature of reality being a lie but I guess not. that would’ve been cool though

The fam were great

I love graham even more now if that’s possible, in part one I was hoping they’d use the laser shoes that was so good!! “dance graham dance!!” iconic.

I liked seeing those 3 interact without the doc around. It probably happened in s11 i don’t remember anything, but it was cool seeing them talk without her

The tech plot was especially scary bc like. That’s something that could feasibly happen right now except without the aliens

The idea of humans as a hard drive is interesting and very creepy, especially the vor guy using his own mom??

also the vor guy reminds me of an rtd era villain for some reason plus the evil tech concept reminded the of the WiFi episode from series 7

ok so one of the main reason I love the master is their Drama and this guy. did not disappoint

his enterance into the room in 1834 and. the fucking tissue compression eliminator (shrink ray)!!!!!! that made me so happy in part one I’m so glad they brought it back. anyway. exquisite

like many have said he really reminds me of simm

he’s so emotional, like his sadness, his anguish, his anger and rage, he’s like batshit crazy and I love it. Sacha Dhawan Has The Range.

he’s also good at dramatically screaming which is a huge plus. the “DOCTAHHH!!!!” at the end.

Every time the master and doctor interacted in this ep it was like. wow I am thoschei trash, like those two know each other so well!! best enemies 4ever y’all

also all of those scenes reminded be how fucking bi i am like holy shit those two are unstoppable

The frigging contact scene. pure artistry. have they done that since classic who? I thought ten and simm might have but I don’t remember

anyway “old school, you��re not the only one who can do classic”, loved that line (referring to the tissue compression eliminator I assume)

also THE DRUMS!! that scene was amazing, I especially loved how the music synced up with the beeping and the beeps became the beat, and how the drums doubled the beeping... pure fucking artistry

When the doctor shows up to save the day the look on the masters face is priceless

Also “Oh.” “That’s your name don’t wear it out!” that was one of the best moments in the ep holy shit!!!

I think the master is genuinely sad and angry at both himself for bombing gallifrey and the time lords for their supposed lies. I’m excited to find out

I’m asssuming he burned all of gallifrey and not just the capital bc they only showed the capital, too bad though I hoped we’d see some of the doc talking to gallifreyans again

And of course I like that the fam is finally getting to know her past, what she said at the end was very reminiscent of the many “I am the doctor” speeches.

still don’t know wtf a “timeless child” is tho

[sarriane]

it's interesting to see so much meta about 'the timeless children,' still, and considering all of the reviews, kneejerk reactions, criticism, love, hate, anger... it just makes me come back to the idea of how it's an attempt to restructure and recenter the show. whether it's a bad or good attempt is one fandom is never going to agree on (fandom never agrees on anything). but every little piece i see about it, every reaction kind of brings to light how it both suceeded and failed.

there's so much in the racial + gender dynamics to pull apart, places where they failed, places where they did well. i think it's the problem with a show that is still so white and so dominated by men, that while they're making an effort towards diversity, there's so many fatal missteps. things in the script that seemed innoculous in another circumstance are entirely changed when you add in identity factors.

(why would you cast a south asian actor and then put him in a nazi uniform? while it's great they cast an actor of color in a classic role, one who was clearly the perfect choice, it's also an unfortunate consequence that we now see the familiar racist image of a man of color "menacing" a white woman. thanks.)

it's not a problem limited to dr who, either -- i remember when kelly sue deconnick finished her run on her first volume of captain marvel, the villain was a genius scientist, and a woman of color. one fan commented (paraphrased): 'hey, i finally saw myself in your comic book - and i was the bad guy.' i remember KSD said something like "i thought all representation was good representation?" and she noted it, and i did too. again and again, we see this: creators in positions of privilege trying to provide representation, but falling short because of the racism, and misogyny, and bigotry they haven't unlearned.

and it's not easy. i certainly don't know how to write a story about a villain of color and a white woman and avoid any pitfalls -- perhaps the solution is to leave those stories to people who are actually from those racial backgrounds, or have those identities. but how to do that when the people in power making casting + writing decisions are white men? obviously, dr who needs more people of color working in it. it needs more women's voices, more queer voices. but even that's not a solution. RTD and JNT definitely didn't have eras free of homophibia and transphobia.

(we get this shit with queer-coding, too, which is why i've never advocated for doctor/master to become canon. i will happily read a million fics exploring the relationship, but i don't want to see the master portrayed as a predatory gay, thanks. and i don't want to see the doctor portrayed as a man caught in an abusive relationship, eventually ending with him literally keeping his romantic interest locked up and isolated while he tries to reform/brainwash her. i'm not into warden/prisoner porn, thx.)

i'm still working on my ideas about how/why doctor who has been irrevocably changed by 'the timeless children,' because the reviews aren't all bad. there are very much people who feel seen. in my opinion, it's very very difficult to take a show that's centered around england and turn it into a post-colonial narrative. dr who has hosted a variety of political opinions over the years, and so has the doctor (don't fucking @ me about kill the moon). in 2020, it's hard to continue to write the story of the doctor as a voice for the repressed when he's an old white man from a planet of "lords," that are a bunch of other old white men. at some point, it's another goddamn white savior narrative with a mansplainer at the center. (note that whittaker's casting does not solve this, but at least it's a start, i suppose? ugh, give us more jo martin!!)

so, the doctor is a woman now, and she has a history where she has been victimized, but she's overcome that. the knowledge of that does not victimize or martyr her, it allows the doctor to recenter herself in the narrative as a voice for the oppressed because she's been there.

i wish i could say that the show treated the jo martin incarnation with the respect she deserved, but even then, she's once again the Wise Old Black Woman trope. she goes from her character in 'fugitive of the judoon,' a doctor in her own adventure who refuses to let another co-opt her story, to a literal support character, the good angel on the doctor's shoulder reminding her who she is. and while it's nice to see a black woman doctor affirm who the doctor is -- she's affirming it to a white doctor. she's a prop. it's such a devastating waste of the character.

'the timeless children' reminds me a lot of captain marvel, and i think some of its failures are in that thirteen is not a Big Damn Hero. it's difficult to suddenly turn the privileged renegade into the timeless child, but also push the classic idea of: "should we trust the doctor?" because we shouldn't! she isn't a superhero. she isn't carol danvers, she has never had a history of fighting for everything she has - everything was handed to the doctor, including when he took the TARDIS and ran away. there's a note in an essay someone wrote in the 70's about 'the deadly assassin,' that showing us gallifrey takes the "who" out of "doctor who." for as much as the 'timeless children' tried to reclaim that, some of the questions it leaves us about the doctor are not pretty. especially when she lets an old, kind man die in her place (and grandpa joe from derry girls, for shame).

(on a wider note, in 50 yrs, will media criticism talk about the period of third/arguably fourth wave feminism in scifi? where white blonde women were treated like science experiments so empires could be built on their backs? but they refused victimhood and became heroines, standing up for those who canmt protect theirselves? which is great, except for the "white, blonde" element and the fact that this narrative, if it becomes a trend, is literally coopting parts of african american history.)

i hate that i have to settle for what we have, because i think media can always be better, and we deserve better, and they should try better. i've seen it said before that doctor who can't break down barriers, since it's a kids' show that airs before 8pm and has to be centrist enough to appeal to a wide audience. i think that sentiment is a little naive of what science fiction actually is and does. whatever the case, it seems clear to me that the next season of doctor who needs to involve more people of color in the cast + crew, and more women, and more queer folks. and it makes me aware of something much more in my control - that i've seen very few responses to the episode from fans of color. and i'm really not sure how to find these voices and amplify them, other than to follow and reblog, and listen.

i hope one day to reform these thoughts into something resembling proper media criticism, but i think it will take time, and revisiting old and new who, and probably seeing how the next special treats the reveals from 'the timeless children.' i've got so many thoughts about s12 and gender and race and the writing's almost "colorblind" approach to it all, and i never expected this to get longer than a paragraph long rant. there's just too much to talk about.

[omgyeahdoctorwhosidecharacters]

Doctor Who wasn’t queerbaiting, though. It really, geniunely wasn’t and it baffles me where this so oft-repeated accusation is coming from. Even before the 2005 revival it was considered a “gay thing” in Britain, I remember, I was there! The openly gay director Waris Hussein did enough for the show to really be considered a co-creator I think but hardly anyone even knows his name. 

Anyway, as soon as the also openly gay Russell T Davies revived the show in 2005 conservative newspapers accused him of having a “gay agenda” and uh, well, I suppose technically he did and I think I’ve said this before on this very blog but RTD’s Doctor Who had a massive goddamn impact on gay representation in the UK. The Doctor-Jack kiss that year, I think it might have been the first ever kiss between two men on a pre-watershed (family) show. Either way, this was years before same-sex marriage was permitted in the UK and back when “gay” was still a high school playground insult. (I DEFINITELY remember that.) 

After 2005 Doctor Who continued to have gay characters as either guest characters or recurring characters in pretty much every season. Yeah, plenty of those were people who’d have a throwaway “my wife” or “my boyfriend” type line but in those days that was more than enough to get the Daily Mail riled up. Steven Moffat came along in 2010 and the Gay Agenda definitely became less of a thing then, but under his showrunnership we did eventually get Clara (bisexual, albeit only confirmed in one line), Vastra and Jenny (human-alien lesbian couple) and finally Bill Potts, played by bisexual actress Pearl Mackie, whose importance as a Black working-class lesbian on a family show is another thing that can’t be overstated. (No, she didn’t die.) Now we’re into season, what, thirteen and there’s another leading character who’s a queer woman of colour, Yaz. 

It was a lot of very, very important representation. What with all the recent news about television privatisation in the UK, on top of the fact this whole hideous country is a fucking awful place to be LGBT right now, all of the above feels like it was for nothing. It’s just depressing to scroll through tumblr and see 50+ posts in the Doctor Who tag eagerly confirming that I guess.

Saw this post going around and honestly? Good. I’m glad a new gen of kids can live our their cringe era with shows that have actual queer representation instead of constant years of queer baiting

[the-desolated-quill]

Dark Water - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

We’re finally coming to the end of another series and I for one will be glad to see the back of Series 8. The only thing that elevates this series slightly above the dire Series 7 is Peter Capaldi, who I found to be far more tolerable than Matt Smith was. Apart from that, this really hasn’t been a very good series, and now Moffat is here to finish it off.

I occasionally glance at what the so called ‘professional’ critics had to say just out of morbid curiosity, and I was amazed by the number of people praising the opening few scenes for being shocking and emotional. I personally thought it was a load of utter twoddle. Clara is trying to tell Danny something, and there are loads of post-it notes on the wall for some reason, when suddenly Danny gets run over by a car. Shocking? Tragic? No, not really. I think I’ve made it perfectly clear by this point how much I dislike Danny, so I didn’t even so much as feel a slight twinge when he got turned into roadkill. But what really undermines the supposed tragedy of it all for me is just how utterly random it is. The Moffat fans may love to keep kissing their precious auteur’s feet and proclaim how much of a genius he is, but the truth is he’s never been very good at plotting his bullshit series arcs. Just look at how Amy’s pregnancy and River Song were handled in Series 6. It’s as though Moffat is just making this shit up as he goes along, and this couldn’t be any more obvious here in Dark Water. In order for the Doctor and Clara to start paying attention to all the Promised Land bollocks, Danny needs to die now. So he just dies. He might as well have had a grand piano fall on top of him or something.

And then we come to one of the most insulting scenes I’ve ever seen in New Who. Clara threatening the Doctor. Again, loads of people praised the fuck out of this scene to the point where I’m beginning to question their sanity. This whole volcano scene is really emblematic of just how rubbish a writer Moffat really is. Rather than having the Doctor and Clara actually talk this out, relying on the emotions of the characters and the performances of the actors to carry the scene, Moffat has to resort to stupid, over the top tactics in a desperate bid to wrong foot the audience. Not only does it strip away any potential emotional impact Danny’s death could have had on their relationship, it also makes Clara come across like an arrogant brat. I could be more forgiving if Clara was driven to do this out of desperation because the Doctor wouldn’t listen to her, but no. She goes in there with the intent to threaten the Doctor. There’s no buildup or anything. She just immediately goes for the most extreme method. She doesn’t come across like an actual human being who’s grieving and in pain. She’s more like a spoilt child having a temper tantrum because she’s not getting her way. Then it’s all made utterly pointless thanks to the Doctor’s powers of plot convenience, revealing that the whole volcano sequence was just a dream state, which just underlines the fact that Moffat is more concerned with pathetically proving to everyone how clever he thinks he is rather than getting us to emotionally connect with Clara. Seriously, what does the volcano sequence do that a simple conversation between the two characters couldn’t?

Plus it’s hard to believe that Clara would go to such lengths for Danny considering the way their relationship has been portrayed over the course of this series. Moffat is desperately trying to convince us that this is a love for the ages and that the two can’t survive without each other, even going so far as to imply that Clara has some kind of death wish, except it’s hard to take it seriously because, due to Moffat’s own incompetence as a writer, this has got to be one of the most dysfunctional relationships I think I’ve ever seen. Danny is a controlling, insecure arsehole who thinks anywhere outside of London is too dangerously exciting, and Clara is a spoilt, arrogant thrill seeker who constantly lies to him for virtually no reason. These two have virtually nothing in common, and their relationship has been so toxic and so unhealthy that it’s hard to really be invested in it at all. I’m not saying Clara shouldn’t be sad that Danny is dead. I just don’t buy for a second that she would be prepared to die for him if she can’t get him back.

So the Doctor and Clara are off to find Heaven. And very briefly, can I just ask, can you imagine any other Doctor doing something like this? The Doctor may be open minded, but he’s a man of science first and foremost. Scientific evidence simply does not support the existence of an afterlife, and considering how dismissive the Tenth Doctor was towards the idea of God or the Devil in The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit, it’s hard to imagine that Twelve would be willing to try and find Heaven just to save one person. Why hasn’t the Doctor tried to find it sooner? It’s like Listen all over again. Clara is Moffat’s very special creation and everything has to revolve around her even if it means bending the Doctor’s character completely out of shape.

Considering how largely secular the Doctor Who fanbase is, I imagine I can’t have been the only person with raised eyebrows the moment we arrived at 3W. But it’s not just that. Did anyone honestly believe this was the actual afterlife? Again, reading the reviews, I was surprised by the amount of controversy surrounding the ‘don’t cremate me’ scene. Not only did I think that was just plain goofy, the fact that this is a Moffat script does unfortunately undermine the credibility of all of this. Have any of these people ever actually watched a Moffat story before? He’s basically the televisual equivalent of M Night Shyamalan. The man is so desperate to surprise the audience and show off how much of a genius he is that he’s prepared to shove any random bullshit twist into his stories even if it comes at the cost of the characters, the integrity of the narrative, or the audience’s trust in the show. And that’s the problem with trying to constantly pull the rug out from under us. Do it too many times and eventually people will wise up and stop giving a shit about what’s happening. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me constantly and I’ll never trust anything you say to me ever again. So rather than be intrigued by the 3W facility and the prospect of an actual afterlife, I’m just impatiently drumming my fingers on the arm of my chair, waiting for Moffat to get the fuck on with it and tell us the big twist.

And what a treat we’re in for this episode. Turns out there’s not one bullshit twist, but TWO bullshit twists. We’ll start with the most painfully obvious twist. Missy is the Master.

I mean who the fuck else could she have been?

Yes the Master is back and, even with a sex change, the character is still just as rubbish as before. The Master has always had about as much depth and complexity as a pantomime villain, and Michelle Gomez seems to be going the same route John Simm went down by portraying the character as boringly insane (a gimmick so old now, it’s practically been fossilised. Not even the Joker can get away with that motive anymore). But it gets even worse when you factor the sex change into the equation. You’d think I’d be all in favour of a female Master considering how long I’ve been campaigning for a female Doctor, but unfortunately Missy is a Moffat written woman, which means she ends up falling into the same sassy, kooky dominatrix role that every single one of his female characters fall into. (even with a non-romantic Doctor, New Who can’t resist shoving in a pointless snogging scene. It’s pathetic). Moffat constantly boasts about how he paved the way for a female Doctor, but I honestly think Missy is more likely to put people off the idea than encourage it. At this point Moffat just comes across as a clueless, sexist bastard who doesn’t have a single original thought whizzing around in his peanut of a brain.

Also, Missy? Fucking Missy?! Why Missy? Why can’t she just call herself the Master? What, does this mean Jodie Whittaker’s Doctor is going to have to call herself Nursie?

‘But Quill, women can be doctors too.’

MY POINT PRECISELY!

Doctor and Master. As in a doctorate and a masters degree. Get it? Moffat doesn’t seriously think that Master actually means... Sigh. Of course he does. The moron.

And then there’s the Master’s sexuality. You may have occasionally heard the odd fan theory floating around that the Doctor and the Master were... well... more than just good friends. A fan theory not entirely without weight. There are some very discreet hints in the classic series if you look hard enough (whether they’re intentional or not is another matter altogether), and RTD didn’t exactly downplay the homoerotic subtext during his tenure. Series 8 is really the show’s first official confirmation of this. In Deep Breath, Missy refers to the Doctor as her boyfriend and in this very episode she says the Doctor’s hearts belong to her. All very progressive... except the Master is a woman now. So when they’re both men, any mention of the dreaded gay must be kept to a minimum, but now one of them is a woman, suddenly they can be as overt and explicit as they want? Not only is the homophobia blatantly obvious, it also adds to the regressive sexism of Missy’s character, implying a male Master has more self control but a female Master is overcome with lust and can’t help but throw herself at the Doctor. It’s like I’ve always said. Moffat is more concerned with looking progressive rather than putting in the effort to actually be progressive. To say I’m disappointed would be an understatement and a fucking half.

The second twist I actually didn’t see coming, but only because of how fucking stupid the idea is. It’s the Cybermen. But that doesn’t make sense. Cybermen convert living people. They’re not zombies. They can’t convert the dead. It’s been previously established multiple times that they have no use for the dead. And part of their motive is to save people from death. Converting the dead directly completely contradicts their motivation. Also how do the Cybermen manage to convert people like the soldiers from Into The Dalek or the policeman from The Caretaker? Weren’t they disintegrated? What is there left to convert? And why wait for people to die in the first place? Why not just convert living people like they usually do? It just doesn’t gel with what we know about the Cybermen. And that bloody Nethersphere is just beyond daft. Before the Cybermen would just remove your emotions whether you want them to or not. Now they politely wait for you to give permission first. (Just when you think Danny couldn’t get anymore pathetic. Is he seriously considering erasing his emotions just because his girlfriend effectively dumped him? Isn’t he supposed to be a grown man? Get a grip, you spineless bell-end).

Well that was utter rubbish. But don’t worry. I’m sure Part 2 will put things right. After all, Moffat always writes satisfying conclusions to his series arcs, right?

[iant0jones]

The Gwen Cooper debate, part 2

So last time I posted about the Gwen Cooper discourse was a little less than a year ago (on Gwen’s birthday, to be exact). This post along with some fan content that’s been emerging recently has brought the discourse to my attention again and @javic-piotr-thane said I should finally state my thoughts on the matter.

Everyone obviously has the right to hate something, be anti something, etc, and I, a 19 year old who’s experienced like next to nothing ever, have absolutely no right to tell you what to think. Nevertheless, I’ve been in the torchwood fandom for over 2 years now and in that time I’ve witnessed and digested a lot of opinions and a lot of content on this matter, and I have quite a few opinions of my own. I didn’t post my opinions when I posted the debate because I wanted it to be focused on the fandom as a whole and not my opinion, but I think it’s my turn to take a few stabs at the discourse (not all of the stabs because it’s impossible to get all of my opinions down in one post, but a few stabs).

Many torchwood fans are very loud about their hatred for Gwen. Sometimes it’s through intelligent, well-thought-out discussion, and sometimes it’s comical bashing, and sometimes it’s “look, I just don’t like her, it’s that simple.” I believe fandoms as a whole need to stop taking themselves so seriously and allow people to say “look, I just don’t like [insert something controversial here], it’s that simple,” or “look, I really do like [insert something controversial here], it’s that simple,” and they need to stop policing that content and those people.

However, I also believe it’s important to recognize when opinions are caused by unhealthy habits/behaviors/etc. and it’s important to analyze and acknowledge why we fall into those unhealthy habits/behaviors/etc. For example, feeling the need to attack other people, especially women, because you think your opinion is right and their’s is wrong, or not accepting that it's always the creator[s]'s fault when a character does something you deem “problematic,” and not the character's fault. Or, I dunno, straight female fans getting upset because some female character’s getting in the way of their gay otp. Meanwhile, there are people who think Gwen can do no wrong and ignore her morally gray aspects, which is a disservice to the character and the creator[s]’s intent.

I like a balance. I want to see this woman from every complex angle she possesses. That’s difficult when there are so many writers for Gwen and so many contradictions in the torchwood universe, between the show, the books, the radio plays, etc. But I can try to address most angles here.

Gwen is a truly kind and empathetic character, and not as stupid as some fans make her out to be. She immediately hugs Ianto to comfort him as soon as she is able in Countrycide. She assures Tosh that she does not judge her for imposing on Gwen’s privacy in Greeks Bearing Gifts. She does the hard, emotional work in Torchwood when no one else wants to, like in Combat. She defeats the effects of retcon in Everything Changes. She says no to Jack’s desire to have loyalty without question in several episodes, like Adrift. She’s managed to survive everything Torchwood has thrown at her. She is tough, she has a mother-like need to protect, and she fights against what she feels is wrong when no one else will.

Nevertheless, she can also be selfish, self-centered, needy, a bully, and represent the promotion of unhealthy relationships. She cheats on Rhys multiple times. She retcons him after telling him that she cheated. She nearly cheats on him again, while in her bloody wedding dress, at that. She’s prying. She feels the need to attack other women to show superiority, especially in the books. She shows jealousy towards Ianto and undermines his relationship with Jack while simultaneously trying to earn Jack’s love.

This is the part where we get into the “straight female fans getting upset because some female character’s getting in the way of their gay otp” issue. I am not an avid shipper. I have very few ships that I am passionate about. However, my top two otps are Janto and Johnlock, and both of them have a strong female character that tends to get in between them (in Johnlock’s case, Mary Morstan). Now, as this is a torchwood post and not a Sherlock post, I’ll keep the comparison to a minimum, but it’s important to recognize the similarities between these ships and the reasons why fans don’t want women getting in between them.

Many people hate Johnlock shippers because some Johnlock shippers hate Mary and people think that we hate her because she’s getting in the way of us seeing two men fuck. They think we are fetishizing mlm and hating on strong female characters at the same time, which is an awful and admittedly wrong thing to do. However, these people seem to not understand that most Johnlock shippers are wlw who are looking for interesting, complex queer relationships that do not have to be imposed on by a straight woman, or the very heteronormative cliché of a love triangle. We want healthy representation.

I am a bi woman who wants to see Ianto and Jack have a healthy relationship, and I want the same for Gwen and Rhys. Gwen and Jack are, in my opinion, too similar, which is why they butt heads all too frequently and are driven by passion, not by sense. They would be just another uninteresting, unhealthy couple between a man and a woman on TV. That is not revolutionary. That is not good storytelling from a show that was so ahead of its time when it came to queer representation. Don’t be angry at Gwen for getting in the way of your otp making out, being fluffy, whatever. Be angry at her for intruding on the healthiest aspect of Jack’s life, and the healthiest aspect of her own life. Be angry at the creators for forcing another heteronormative love triangle created simply for the function of adding drama. However, do not be any more angry at female characters for the faults they have than you would be at the male characters that have the same or similar faults.

I definitely believe Gwen’s not the audience's perspective that RTD intended her to be. He alienated (buh dum tish) her from the audience by having her cheat and lie so many times. Also, I feel that the majority of the audience that has continued to be drawn to torchwood is a queer audience, and she is by far the least queer/the most arguably straight member of the team. She is also the one that causes the majority of her conflict/drama for herself in the first two seasons, while the other characters go through loss, PTSD, self-esteem issues, being ignored and unappreciated, depression, and suicidal tendencies; conflicts that are inflicted onto them by often uncontrollable forces. Most people cannot relate to Gwen’s faults or misfortunes, but a queer audience can (unfortunately) relate much more to faults and misfortunes of the other four characters.

And here is where I conclude my rant:

While I believe it’s important to continue this discussion on how Gwen and other female characters are treated by fandoms, maybe it’s time we stopped beating around the bush and started discussing the morally gray male characters that don’t get nearly half the shit Gwen does, like Owen and Rhys, or god forbid John, Jack, or Ianto.

[the-desolated-quill]

A Good Man Goes To War - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen A Good Man Goes To War. I remember at the time thinking it was dumb, but I had forgotten just how dumb it actually was until now. I’ve seen bad Doctor Who before. I’ve seen stupid Doctor Who before. But A Good Man Goes To War reaches new levels of bollocks I didn’t even think was possible to reach. It’s really quite astounding.

So Amy is trapped on Demon’s Run with Eye Patch Lady about to steal her child. And already we’ve hit our first problem. I’ve mentioned in the past how rubbish Moffat is at writing female characters, and this episode is where its most obvious. Eye Patch Lady is taking her baby away and all Amy does in response is throw sassy putdowns at people. Now if someone were to take away my child, I’d be in fucking hysterics. I’d be shouting and screaming and trying to put up a fight. But as I’ve said in the past, Amy isn’t a character. She’s a plot device. And Moffat writes her as such. She is pretty much nothing but a walking womb.

Meanwhile the Doctor is travelling around time and space and calling in markers in order to save Amy. And here is our second problem. Does this sound like the Doctor to you? Expecting favours from people as a repayment for helping them out in the past? Again, I find myself asking, has Steven Moffat ever actually watched Doctor Who before? The Doctor helps people because it’s the right thing to do. He doesn’t do it with the cynical expectation that they’ll return the favour at some point down the line. It’s just wildly out of character for him.

I suppose I’d be a little more comfortable with it if we actually got to know the Paternoster Gang. Find out how they met the Doctor and why they feel they owe him a favour, but we don’t. For some strange reason people really seem to like the Paternoster Gang, but for the life of me I can’t see why. They’re complete non-entities. There’s nothing remotely interesting about them. Strax is basically just the shit comic relief, diminishing any possible threat the Sontarans could have in future stories with every unfunny one liner, and we learn precisely fuck all about Madame Vastra or Jenny other than they’re gay (on a side note, why do they keep casting Neve McIntosh to play Silurians? Don’t get me wrong. She’s a good actor, but the Silurians aren’t like the Sontarans. They’re not clones).

At this point it seems appropriate to talk about LGBT representation. Specifically how rubbish Moffat is at doing it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that Moffat is willing to put gay characters into his stories, but the way he does it is a tad dodgy to say the least. See, when you’re writing a gay character, there needs to be a lot more to them than just being gay. Russell T Davies understood that perfectly. There were a number of queer characters during his tenure as showrunner, most notably Captain Jack Harkness, and they were all written fairly well for the most part. What I especially appreciated was how their sexuality was never the primary focus. Rather it was just another aspect to their character. Look at Jack Harkness. He’s openly pansexual, but they never make a big deal out of it. It’s just casually mentioned and treated as any other character trait. Plus there’s a lot more to Jack than just being pan. He’s an outgoing adventurer. He seeks redemption for his conman days. He puts on a cheery facade to hide the dark traumas he went through during his long, immortal life. This is good LGBT representation because what it does is it normalises his sexuality. The show treats him as any other character. There’s nothing special or different about him. He’s no different from a heterosexual person. He just has different sexual preferences, and that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong or strange about that, and so the show doesn’t treat it as such. I think that’s a really good message to send to kids.

Then we come to the Moffat era. Madame Vastra and Jenny are gay. That’s their sole defining character traits. That’s not representation. That’s tokenism. Whereas the queer characters of the RTD era felt like real people, the ones in the Moffat era feel like cardboard cutouts with the word ‘gay’ written on their foreheads. And it just gets worse when those two Cleric marines show up:

“We're the Thin Fat Gay Married Anglican Marines. Why would we need names as well?”

Ugh! Okay, let me tell you precisely why I hate this line so much. It’s incredibly important, particularly in a kids show, to represent and normalise the LGBT community. My issue is this. If being gay is perfectly normal (which of course it is)... why is Moffat drawing so much attention to it? That would be like me making a big fuss about the colour of the sky. The only reason you would do that is if there’s something unusual about it, which is precisely the opposite thing you should be conveying. It’s heavily implied that the Thin Fat Gay Couple are the only ones who are gay, and that’s treated as a novelty. They’re such a novelty in fact that they don’t even have names. The reason I hate this so much is because they’re not characters in their own right. Rather they’re the equivalent of a carnival sideshow attraction with Moffat as the ringmaster inviting spectators to pay tuppence to poke the freaks in the cages. Rather than putting in the effort to write gay characters that are actually well developed and complex, he’s just using these shallow caricatures to boast about how seemingly progressive he is. He’s more bothered about winning brownie points and massaging his own ego rather than providing compelling representation for minority figures. 

He treats his female characters the same way. He boasts about how strong Amy and River Song are, but they’re really not. Yes they’re seemingly independent at first glance, but they very frequently fall into the same, tired old sexist tropes we’ve seen dozens of times before and we never actually learn anything significant about them outside of their lives with the Doctor. Look at this very episode. Amy loses her baby, but she never reacts in a believable or empathetic way. She just resorts to her sassy putdowns and pointing guns at people because that’s the only way Moffat knows how to write women. In fact Amy isn’t even that independent. In a rather telling scene, the Doctor asks Rory’s permission to hug Amy as though she’s Rory’s property as opposed to the strong, independent woman she apparently is. Moffat keeps insisting he’s a feminist and yet he doesn’t see anything wrong with a woman not being able to hug another man without her husband’s permission first.

This is the biggest reason why I hate Moffat as a writer so much. It goes beyond the plot hole riddled stories, the convoluted series arcs and the bad characterisation. Moffat is a man more concerned with looking progressive rather than actually being progressive.

So anyway, the Doctor and Rory (who is dressed in his Roman gear for some stupid reason) manage to save Amy without a single drop of blood being spilt (you know, if you don’t count the Clerics that got killed by the Headless Monks during the Doctor’s deception or the millions of Cybermen that the Doctor kills just to make a point. Brief side note, why would the Cybermen know or care where Amy is? Okay their Legion monitors everything in that particular quadrant, but somehow I doubt that extends to pregnant women. Plus it’s highly unlikely the Cybermen would want to divulge any information after you’ve just blown them up).

Actually it’s a shame that the Headless Monks were wasted on this stupid series arc because I actually thought they were a pretty cool idea. The theology is well thought out and it could have potentially served as a damning criticism of organised religion (thinking from the heart as opposed to the head. I like it). Instead we get treated to more bollocks. So the Monks, Clerics, Silence and Eye Patch Lady have all teamed up to kill the Doctor because apparently he’s a very bad man. Why do they think that?

I don’t know! I’ve got no fucking idea! I mean I’m not going to pretend that the Doctor is a saint, but if you want us to believe he’s a dangerous warrior, you’re going to have to show us some actual evidence. And that’s the problem. There isn’t any. Yes the Doctor has killed, but it’s always been for the greater good. To help others who couldn’t defend themselves. He may not be perfect, but he’s a good man at heart. Unless you give me a compelling reason to believe otherwise, I’m just going to snort and roll my eyes. Obviously Moffat isn’t giving us the full story until much later, but all it does is negatively impact this one. Basically, in this episode, the only reason we’re given as to why Eye Patch Lady thinks the Doctor is evil is ‘trust me. He just is.’ Not good enough.

Also, if you want to kill the Doctor, WHY NOT JUST KILL HIM?! He’s standing right there! Don’t let him finish his monologue! Just shoot the fucker! (Also raise your hand if you saw the Flesh baby plot twist coming. If you didn’t, you’re lying).

And it just gets worse when River shows up at the end to lecture the Doctor about how he’s too violent.

Now I’ll repeat that.

River Song, the gun toting archaeologist who massacred a bunch of Silence in her last appearance and clearly enjoyed every minute of it, is chastising the Doctor for being too violent. Fuck off!

And then the moment none of us have been waiting for. Who is River Song? She’s Amy’s daughter.

Um... I mean... OOOOOOH! Well I did NOT see THAT coming! And here’s me thinking she was Rassilon’s second cousin! Silly me!

Yeah, not only was this head thuddingly obvious what with the aquatic surnames and everything, but also Moffat gave the game away right at the beginning. Melody Pond. get it? Give me fucking strength.

What’s even weirder is that the focus is all out of whack. The reveal is directed more at the Doctor than Amy and Rory (you know, her parents). But why would the Doctor care? And more to the point, why should we care? Okay, River Song is Amy and Rory’s daughter. That’s some interesting information, but that’s hardly mid-season finale material. What we really care about is who River is in relation to the Doctor. And I suspect that’s what the Doctor is more concerned with too. And while I think of it, how is the Doctor learning about River’s true parentage constitute as ‘his darkest day?’ He doesn’t seem to take the news badly or anything. In fact the opposite.

It’s all so mind-bogglingly stupid. A Good Man Goes To War represents the point where Moffat officially starts to disappear up his own arsehole, weaving a convoluted web of bullshit whilst forgetting all the ingredients that make a good story. The answers we’re provided for some of the series arc mysteries are painfully obvious, unsatisfactory and just plain daft, none of the characters act like actual people or behave in a believable way, and crucially I don’t give a shit about anything that’s happening onscreen because at no point does Moffat ever give me a reason to care. Better get used to this folks because these issues are going to become the staple of the Moffat era going forward.

[the-desolated-quill]

The Snowmen - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

The Snowmen has got to be the least Christmassy Christmas special ever, and believe it or not I mean that in a positive way. Doctor Who Christmas specials have always left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth, not just because most of them have been poorly written and just plain idiotic, but also because every year the show seems determined to drown you in slush. To its credit, The Snowmen does manage to escape that somewhat, keeping the slush to a minimum. Okay the villain is ultimately defeated by ‘a family crying at Christmas’, but it never comes off as mawkish and there is actually a decent in-universe explanation for how that worked, so I’ll allow it just this once.

So who are the villains? A deadpan Richard E. Grant and some carnivorous snow voiced by Ian McKellen. Compared to other Christmas special villains, they’re fairly good. Out of the two, Mr. Simian’s character is the weak link because we don’t learn anything about his character or the nature of his relationship with the snow, but Grant’s performance is still pretty good and it holds your attention. Ian McKellen also does a decent job with the material he’s been given, and I do like the idea of alien snow, even if the bitey snowflakes and smiling snowmen were a bit gigglesome (and the less said about the bad CGI ice governess, the better I think). It’s a bit like the robot Santas and killer Christmas trees from the RTD era. It’s silly, but it’s enjoyably silly. And as an added treat for us classic series fans, it turns out this episode is actually an origin story for the Great Intelligence. Usually you can see Moffat’s plot twists coming several galaxies away, so I was kicking myself that I didn’t pick up on it the first time. Particularly considering how the hints and Easter Eggs are so obvious on rewatches. The Snowmen as in The Abominable Snowmen and the Yeti. A disembodied voice trying to gain a physical form. The map of the London Underground. The snow is being kept in a giant sphere inside Simian’s office. And of course the initials GI. So yeah, that was a nice callback.

All in all, this could have been a fairly decent Christmas special. Nothing to write home about, but still watchable. Unfortunately The Snowmen is ruined by one thing and that’s the characters. Good fucking God are they horrendous!

Let’s start with the Doctor. After losing Amy and Rory, he has decided that he doesn’t want to travel or help people anymore and is now living above England on a cloud as a lonely old miser.

Fuck off! Not in this universe nor in any other universe would this EVER happen!

You may recall a couple of years ago when I reviewed the RTD era that I really didn’t like the Doctor’s reaction when he lost Rose. it just felt too human and it didn’t really gel with his character. He’s lost companions before. He mourns, but he moves on. Why would Rose be any different? But credit where it’s due, at least the Doctor kept travelling through time and space rather than stay in once place and sulk because RTD knew that that at least is something the Doctor would definitely never do. Here... I mean you can’t even use the excuse that the Doctor was in love with Amy. I’m not saying he wouldn’t be emotionally affected by what happened. I’m just questioning why he would be this emotionally affected to the point where he would actually refuse to help people in need. It just feels totally out of character.

Plus it really does display just how arrogant Moffat is. Of course it would be his characters that caused the Doctor to sink into a deep depression and only his character can bring him out of it. And of course his characters are what inspired the creation of Sherlock Holmes, which he will later adapt in his god awful Sherlock TV show. Christ Moffat, I hope you’ve got plenty of tissues to clean the mess up with after you’ve finished wanking yourself.

Matt Smith doesn’t help matters. His turn as a reclusive miser just isn’t in the least bit convincing, but at least it’s preferable to when he magically makes a full recovery and reverts back to his obnoxious goofy self. This is the Doctor now everyone. A man who has arguments with his own hand and sexually molests Punch and Judy dolls. (Sigh. Only 11 episodes to go Quill. Just hang on).

We also see the return of the Paternoster Gang. A group of one dimensional, unfunny cardboard cutouts that people really seem to like for some reason. Strax is by far the worst, with each bad joke and moment of incompetence driving another nail into the coffin of the Sontarans forever. (But wait, isn’t Strax supposed to be dead? Ah fuck it! Everybody knows death is only a minor inconvenience in the Moffat era. Who cares if it ruins the impact of future deaths or that it completely contradicts Sontaran lore. Just laugh at the Doctor calling him a potato, something the Doctor would also never do because I’m sure that’s racist to Sontarans). And Vastra and Jenny have the same problems as every other Moffat woman in that they have no character or agency of their own. They exist solely to help the Doctor. Also Jenny is in a dominatrix outfit for some reason, and they openly talk about being gay. Two things that would definitely have caused shock and outrage in the rigid and repressed Victorian era.

Actually that’s one thing that really pisses me off about New Who and this episode in particular. None of it is true to the period. Clara is completely contemporary in both her outlook and behaviour, and everything unsavoury about the period is dismissed with the Doctor’s sneer of ‘Victorian values.’ Yes this is the Victorian era, but it’s the Victorian era you’d find on the front of a Christmas card. It’s very easy to just sneer at a period of history and congratulate ourselves for how much better we are today, but why not actually explore the era properly? What’s that saying? The past is like another country? Let the audience see that. Why not have Clara behave like a woman during the Victorian era would and have the Doctor come in to challenge that? Have the episode be a clash of different attitudes and values.

Speaking of Clara, she is by far the worst thing about this episode. I honestly didn’t think it could get any worse than Oswin in Asylum Of The Daleks, but boy was I wrong. She is just insufferable. She’s really smug and smarmy and not in the least bit likeable or believable. She’s like River Song, but 10x worse. Also it doesn’t help that Jenna Coleman decides to give Clara this really bad ‘gor blimey guvner! Strike a light! Up the apples an’ pears’ Cockney accent. (Brief side note, why was she keeping the whole nanny thing secret?). I’m certainly not buying her supposed special connection with the Doctor. That’s another thing Moffat is guilty of. He’s so shit at writing female characters that he can’t effectively convey whey they might be so unique in their actions or behaviour, so he has to just flat out tell the audience instead. Well I’m sorry, but that shit just won’t fly. What reason does Clara have for chasing the Doctor’s cab? What reason does the Doctor have for being impressed with Clara despite the fact she’s done nothing remotely noteworthy? What reason does Clara have for snogging the Doctor’s face off despite the two sharing no romantic chemistry whatsoever? Answer: the script said so. Maybe if Moffat spent less time writing stupid scenes like the ‘respond with one word’ interrogation and more time actually developing her character, I might have actually given a shit when she died. (I mean for fuck’s sake, talk about disappearing up your own arse. How the fuck would Clara have known the word ‘Pond’ would have passed the one word test? How does ‘Pond’ convey she needs the Doctor’s help? What is even the fucking point of the one word test other than as a pathetic attempt for Moffat to try and look deep and intelligent as opposed to a pretentious halfwit? God, he’s such a shit writer).

Worse still, despite the fact Moffat had insisted that Series 7 won’t contain a series arc, it turns out Clara constantly dying is going to be a series arc now. So it looks like we’re going to be stuck with this ungodly annoying woman for quite a considerable time. Bugger!

While The Snowmen is considerably less slushy than some of the previous Christmas specials, I unfortunately have to stick this in the bad category along with the likes of Voyage Of The Damned and The Doctor, The Widow, And The Wardrobe due to its terrible characterisation and Moffat’s pretentious, egocentric bullshit.