#rsfs au

[mythicalmagical-monkeyman]

(RSFS au)

Macaque: *to Wukong* I'm pretty sure you are the only man i have ever met who is more comfortable in armor than actual lounge attire

[monkeyman-sideblog]

Boom, baby.

Swap au

[eldritch-muppetshow]

more of the villainspawn au, ft. cyrus’s kid and what is not actually n’s kid, but a young zoroark who’s fascinated w humans and modeled their disguise after him

[dxctorunknown]

RAINBOW SMILES FACTORY AU

RSF!DOGDAY

" this factory isn't what you think!"

Dogday Info

He is that one guy who pretends that everything is fine (it isnt)

He overworks himself sometimes not sleeping for days or even eating basically a workaholic

Worries about his family's safety(by means his parents or siblings I'm planning on making everyone don't have partners so everyone can enjoy shipping the characters together or with their own characters)

Doesn't have a prosthetic because his boss refuses to give him one

He works at the chemical, area the scars are from trying to feed the experiments (they're feisty)

Sometimes having panic attacks by something that remember the incident he had

[plutoccult]

HAIKYUU X THE OFFICE AU — EPISODE SEVEN: VALENTINE’S DAY

pairing: sugawara koushi x female reader

description: it’s valentine’s day at the office, and you hope for it to be one you’ll never forget. however, everyone seems to be having a better holiday than you.

word count: 4.9k

also available to read on my ao3 here

author’s note: tis the valentine’s episode! plus, it’s episode seven of this au, which is also my favorite number. i wanted to make sure i had this out in time for valentine’s day, so i was really cranking out episodes like a madman. sorry for the content overload! i’ve been looking forward to writing this episode for awhile, and i really wanted to make something cute rather than something absolutely soul crushing (lmao BOOZE CRUISE), so i hope you enjoy it just as much as i enjoyed writing it. happy early valentine’s, everyone! <3

tags: @toorubobatea @intorder @dragon-slayer5 @femme-lune @jeanboyjean @cowgirlikets @darthferbert @kazuchaos @bakagun1312 @beingbrokenfitsus @mumblepingu @daedaep69 @intheewrld @msbyomimi @sukxma @akari-fujikawa @milkteeboba @5sos-wdw @todorokiskitten @intheewrld

taglist form here

as weird as it sounded, you loved spending valentine’s day at the office. it felt like elementary school where you’d share little treats with your classmates. you were notorious for bringing in a box of valentine’s themed candy back in the day, and you lived up to that reputation even now. this year, it was valentine’s fun dip, your favorite.

you’ve spent valentine’s day as an engaged woman for quite a few years now, but you felt this year would be different now that you were less than four months away from your wedding. however, you and ryo promised each other not to go too crazy when it came to gifts. you were trying to save up as much money as possible before your big day. still, you hoped he would put in some effort.

you watched a delivery man enter the office with a big bouquet of red roses. could they be for you? you sure hoped so. you had never received such a bouquet like this before.

the delivery man placed the bouquet on top of your desk. you stand up and read the envelope that came with the bouquet to see who it’s for—hoping it’s for you—but alas, it’s for someone else.

“yachi.” you sigh. it shouldn’t be a surprise, but you couldn’t help but feel some sort of disappointment. still, you had all day to get a gift. you just had to be patient, although that will be a difficult task for you. you don’t even know how you’ve been so patient just for a simple wedding date.

yachi stood from her desk to receive her roses, practically skipping over as she was filled with joy. you look over to see a smile on yamaguchi’s face as he watched her pick up the bouquet, and you could immediately assume they were from him.

“wow, yachi. that bouquet is bigger than your head.” hinata said in amazement.

“i know!” yachi exclaimed. “quick, grab the card and read it out for me.”

“okay…” hinata obeyed, plucking the envelope out of the array of roses and opening up the card. he quickly read it over in his head before reading it out loud. “happy valentine’s day, buttercup. love, yamaguchi.”

“aw, yams!” she cooed. yamaguchi’s cheeks quickly turned pink. “you’re the sweetest.”

you groan as yachi ran over to yamaguchi and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before returning to her desk. they were adorable, you’d give them that, but man. you were already growing impatient.

“hey, y/n. why the sour face?” ukai asked you as he walked up to your desk. were you giving away your bitterness just by the look on your face? no, maybe you just had RSF or something. resting sour face is a thing, right?

“what?” you jump and place your hand over your heart. you really hoped no one else noticed anything off with you. “nothing, nothing. i’m fine.”

“well, i’m heading to tokyo for that meeting soon.” ukai said. right, the meeting. you remembered informing him a couple weeks ago about a meeting in tokyo with other branch managers and the new CFO of the company. you sure hoped he wouldn’t mess it all up. “want any touristy merch? keychain? t-shirt you’ll never let see the light of day?”

“no, i’m good.” you reply. what you really wanted was for ryo to blow you away with a valentine’s gift already.

“ugh, lame.” ukai rolled his eyes. “you want anything, tsukki? i bet they have weird dinosaur crap or something.”

“i’d prefer it if you didn’t do anything stupid in front of the new CFO.” tsukishima said. you were sure everyone was hoping for that.

“what? of course i’m not gonna do anything stupid.” ukai scoffed. “what do you think i am, an idiot?”

“yes, yes i do.” tsukishima deadpanned.

“well, no dinosaur crap for you.” ukai huffed like a child. “tanaka, you’re in charge.”

oh god, this was a match made in hell. why ukai decided to make a decision so randomly like that, you didn’t know, but he could’ve picked anyone else in the office and no one would’ve had a problem with it.

“woah, why him? why not me or suga?” daichi protested. “i’ve proven to be a good leader! i won you that stupid volleyball match with the warehouse guys! suga even took a volleyball to the face thanks to y/n’s fiancé!”

“woah, let’s not drag me into this—” suga began to say. he didn’t want to have to think about that again, nor did he want any extra responsibilities today. suga just wanted a relaxing day.

funny enough, ukai almost forgot about that happening. it felt so long ago, but it only happened in the fall. maybe he should reconsider his choices. “oh yeah… i change my mind. daichi, you’re in charge now.”

“god dammit!” tanaka whined. at least he had his fifteen seconds of glory.

“see ya, bozos!” ukai cackled on his way out.

as soon as the door shut behind him, you all let out a sigh of relief. maybe today wouldn’t so bad without ukai around.

•••

“i’m pretty glad ukai’s not here, actually.” suga confessed without hesitation. you sat next to him, hurriedly nodding in agreement.

“we were all thinking it.” you add on to suga’s statement.

“yeah, i don’t have to worry about him on my back over my love life on a day all about love.” he chuckled. maybe he shouldn’t have said that out loud, but ukai’s absence was a massive relief and breath of fresh air.

“why would he be on your back?” you furrow your eyebrows.

crap. “oh, you know… he’s ukai. he’s always on our backs.”

“yeah, you’re right.” you shrug.

suga was thankful you brushed off any suspicions. that was definitely a close one, especially given recent events.

•••

everyone went on with their day as normal, although some found it odd they weren’t being bombarded or borderline harassed by ukai for once. was it opposite day? no, it was valentine’s day. a weird one, it seemed.

after grabbing a cup of coffee, tanaka returned to his desk. a mysterious package sat next to his keyboard, which wasn’t there before. he looked at the plain, suspicious box in confusion, tilting his head as he tried making sense of it all.

“suga, what’s this?” tanaka questioned, hoping suga would have an answer.

“i don’t know.” he shrugged, which wasn’t the answer tanaka wanted to hear. “it’s yours, not mine.”

“but who put it here?” tanaka asked.

“it was already there when i sat down. just open it and see what’s up.” suga said.

“fine…” tanaka groaned before he reached for scissors and fumbled with opening the box. it took a minute, but he managed to get the job done. inside the box was a card, underneath an unknown item covered in tissue paper. who knows what it could possibly be?

“happy valentine’s day. love, your secret admirer—” tanaka’s jaw dropped to the floor. “holy F*CK! a secret admirer?!”

“i’m not even gonna scold you on censoring yourself.” suga rolled his eyes. he’s had his fair share of dropping bombs on camera too, he surely wasn’t innocent either.

“my word… now i gotta see what’s inside.” tanaka ripped away the tissue paper and picked up a bobble head that resembled him. he instantly loved it upon first sight, but if only tanaka knew who gifted it to him. “it's me… i'm the bobble head. nice!”

from afar, a soft grin crept up on kiyoko’s face, which went unnoticed by everyone in the office. could it be?

•••

“someone in this office has the hots for me and all i know is that it better not be tsukishima.” tanaka said as he stared down the camera. “i mean, i get it, i’m a catch! but why be anonymous with your love? secret admirer, show yourself!”

it was hilarious how tanaka was blind to the only true possibility to the identity of his secret admirer, but the documentary crew would let him take the time to figure it out while filming some television gold in the process.

•••

rather than doing work, nishinoya decided to use his time at the office to make plans for later. asahi was in on nishinoya’s plans, only because he begged him to, allowing his much smaller coworker to do all the talking, starting with suga and tanaka.

“hey, suga.” nishinoya leaned against suga’s desk. “you doin’ anything for valentine’s day?”

suga almost wanted to laugh maniacally. of course, he wasn’t doing anything today. he was pathetically single and had no eyes for other women. saeko was nice, but she was only friend material in suga’s eyes. at least he gained a friend out of that mess from the booze cruise, but tonight? suga planned to be all alone.

“heh, no.” he forced a subtle laugh, holding back on making a mockery out of his pathetic love life. “definitely not.”

“well, me and asahi are going on a bar crawl later. you’re definitely welcome to join.” nishinoya said.

a bar crawl? it didn’t sound like a terrible idea, but suga was worried about who would be attending. “i sure hope hinata isn’t invited. dude cannot handle his alcohol.”

“yeah, i bet kageyama will put a stop to that.” nishinoya chuckled. he didn’t even want to attempt to invite them, really. “so, you in?”

“um…” suga looked over at you. you’re oblivious to his stare as you’re on the phone with someone. of course he stood no chance, so suga quickly looked away to answer nishinoya. “yeah, i’m in.”

“sick! i’ll text you the details.” nishinoya replied. “tanaka, you know you’re always welcome.”

“i don’t know, noya. i might be occupied with a special someone tonight.” tanaka said as he leaned back against his chair, his arms behind his head. totally not for the purpose of showing off his biceps.

“oh, really? with who?” nishinoya questioned.

“oh, boy…” suga groaned. the poor guy had been dealing with tanaka over the moon thanks to this whole secret admirer thing all day so far. if there were a drinking game to take a shot every time tanaka mentioned his secret admirer, suga would be dead by alcohol poisoning already.

“my secret admirer.” tanaka smirked. if only suga had a shot to down right now.

“yeah, okay.” nishinoya scoffed, walking away from what has now become a foolish conversation.

tanaka stood from his desk defiantly, slamming his hands down as he yelled at nishinoya. “my secret admirer is real and i’m going to figure out who it is by the end of the day!”

everyone looked up to watch tanaka’s random outburst, rolling their eyes before getting back to work. suga snickered as a result, receiving a glare from tanaka. as if that guy ever scared him anyway.

nishinoya walked over to kiyoko next, the sound of her name escaping his mouth catching the attention of tanaka. “hey, kiyoko. you doing anything later?”

“um, actually i might have other plans…” she replied timidly.

“okay, that’s cool. have fun.” he said, finding nothing about her response to be suspicious. she was a pretty girl, why wouldn’t she have plans?

however, a light bulb lit up above tanaka’s head. could it really be the woman of his dreams who sent him the mystery package? nah, tanaka figured he was just reaching for the stars. there was just no way.

moments later, a different delivery man walked in with an arrangement of various flowers. just what you needed to see again. it was easy to figure out who they were for, and the card had proven your guess right.

“yachi, guess what?” you call out for her, hiding your jealousy.

“again?” yachi questioned, her puzzled face turning into an overjoyed one upon seeing a new bouquet just for her. “aw, yams, you didn’t have to!”

“rub it our faces, why don’t ya…” you grumble to yourself as yachi took her flowers back to her desk. did she really need another?

•••

“i’m okay! i’m okay, i swear.” you say, your eye twitching as you lie your ass off. “i’m totally not jealous about yachi getting two bouquets already and we’re only halfway through the day.”

“um, i think—”

“i’ll take just a single rose! i don’t care! something! anything!” you exclaim. you had truly gone mad, and the crew was better off leaving you be with your madness.

•••

later, tanaka found kiyoko in the break room making a cup of coffee. he didn’t even want coffee, he just wanted to do some investigating. tanaka just had to know if there was any chance of his dream girl harboring at least a little crush on him. he’d take anything at this point.

“hello, kiyoko.” he said. did that come off creepy? tanaka instantly regretted the delivery of his greeting, that’s for sure.

“hi, tanaka.” kiyoko replied. “i’ll be done in a second.”

“no, no. take your time.” tanaka insisted.

he watched intently as kiyoko made her coffee, grabbing vanilla flavored creamer—her favorite—from the fridge. tanaka always knew she poured it for exactly four seconds before putting in only one sugar packet. as kiyoko always said, the creamer was sweet enough.

“did you hear?” tanaka spoke up. kiyoko looked over to him to see what he had to say. she seemed to be as cool as a cucumber. “i got the best valentine’s day present ever and i don’t even know who it’s from.”

“yeah, we all heard you screaming about a secret admirer.” she giggled. “i’m glad you enjoyed your gift though.”

“oh, i did. i sure did.” tanaka replied with smirk. “did you get anything for valentine’s day?”

“just some candy.” kiyoko said. “y/n saved a blue fun dip specifically for me.”

damn, tanaka got stuck with red. but that wasn’t the point. he had to press the current matter further. “nothing special?”

“nope, i don’t usually get anything big for valentine’s day.” she shrugged.

“maybe this year will be different.” tanaka said, trying his best to come off a little flirty, but in a cool way. he wanted to be the man for her so bad.

“well, i sure hope it is.” kiyoko smiled, tanaka instantly blushing.

tanaka stood as kiyoko left the room with her mug. he didn’t really get any clues from that conversation, but it was worth it anyway because he at least he got to talk to her.

when he returned to his desk a minute later, a note appeared on his desk, just as mysterious as his gift from earlier. “suga? you know anything about this?”

“nope.” suga replied.

“typical.” tanaka scoffed as he picked up the note and read it aloud. “meet me in front of the warehouse at 5:30…”

woah. now things were really getting spicy in here. it was truly tanaka’s lucky day.

while tanaka tried analyzing the handwriting of the note over and over, a sudden commotion in the form of a delivery man struggling through the door with an oversized teddy bear on his back ruined tanaka’s concentration.

“god damn!” he exclaimed. tanaka definitely took the words right out of everyone’s mouths, yours included.

“yachi… hitoka.” the delivery man said out of breath, letting the teddy bear flop to the ground.

“uh… yachi?” you say to catch her attention. it shouldn’t even be a shock at this point. maybe you should blame tsukishima for forcing yamaguchi and yachi to confess their mutual crushes on each other months ago. all that teasing wasn’t enough, apparently.

“what—” yachi turned around. she immediately rushed out of her chair and leaped into the arms of the giant stuffed animal. “oh my god, i love it!”

you gently hit your head against the keyboard. no one seemed to notice your misery.

•••

“i officially give up on valentine’s day.” you let out a loud groan. the crew wondered if the sounds of your agony could be heard from the conference room. unfortunately, it did.

•••

the work day went back to normal, although yachi’s desk was littered with oversized gifts now. daichi couldn’t even see her face behind her computer screen anymore as her desk was crowded with bouquets and cards from yamaguchi. he truly outdid himself, even you couldn’t deny that. your jealousy still lingered, but at least yachi was happy.

without ukai around, you were glad to have a conversation with suga without the two of you being bothered. as he ate the fun dip you gave him earlier—only your most favorite people got the blue flavor—you recall a story from your junior high days.

“this kid gives him the twenty bucks and he actually snorts the pixy stix powder.” you say, detailing the end of your story.

“god, his poor nose…” suga cringed, although an idea popped into his mind. “hm, i wonder if i could snort this fun dip.”

“oh god, don’t!” you beg, grabbing his hand so he couldn’t do anything stupid. suga practically felt his heart jump out of his chest from the sudden contact, even if you didn’t seem to think anything of it. “i can’t lose you to silly candy.”

“it’s yummy though.” he grinned, swiftly moving on from the touch of your fingers grazing against his own, no matter how much he didn’t want to.

“yeah, on your tongue, not up your nose, dummy.” you scold him.

the two of you burst into laughter, the laugh fest interrupted by tanaka walking up to your desk. it seemed quite serious given his demeanor. “y/n. hi, how ya doing?”

“oh, hey—”

“good.” he cut you off. how rude. “listen, uh, may i speak with you... privately?”

“i’m kinda in the middle of a conversation…” you say, looking over to suga.

“y/n.” tanaka stared you down. he always did this when he was trying to get something he wanted. you knew him long enough to recognize the look.

“don’t give me that look, tanaka.” you cross your arms. “you don’t hold authority over me.”

“y/n, please just...” tanaka tilted his head, motioning for you to speak to him in another room. he really seemed desperate.

“do i have to?” you whine.

“love is on the line, dammit!” he yelled out, mayhaps a little too loud, but now you had no choice but to oblige.

“okay, okay!” you stand up from your chair. “let’s go then. sorry, suga.”

suga insisted it was no problem, but you still felt a little bad for cutting off your conversation like this. you and tanaka then walk out of the office and head into an empty hallway. if this was over nothing that important, you were going to be pissed.

“what is it that’s so urgent?” you ask tanaka.

“you’re a girl.” he said plainly. what a great start.

“well, unless my whole life has been a lie—”

“y/n. please.” tanaka interrupted, a pleading look in his eyes.

“sorry.” you say quietly.

“do you… recognize this handwriting at all?” he asked, taking out a card and folded note from his pocket. “it’s from my secret admirer.”

so that’s what this was about. you weren’t sure what tanaka wanted your help for so bad, but you figured it wouldn’t hurt to try and help him. “i guess i can take a look.”

tanaka handed you the notes and you inspect them carefully. it didn’t take you that long to figure out whose handwriting this belonged to. for you, it was clear as day.

“tanaka?”

“yeah?”

without saying another word, you smack him across the face, the sound of the slap echoing throughout the hallway. did your coworkers managed to hear that from inside the office? you sure hoped so. it was so satisfying, and the crew ate up the drama. this was peak television right here.

“what the heck was that for?!” tanaka yelled as his face now stung like hell. “i oughta file a complaint!”

“you’re such an idiot! it’s so obvious who wrote these!” you yelled back, forcing the notes back into his hands.

“well, who?!” he asked.

you purse your lips and cross your arms. you were going to play the petty game. “i’m not saying.”

“please, i’m begging!” tanaka exclaimed. “don’t make me get on my knees.”

“actually, i’d love to see that.” you say. if anyone was going to threaten you with a good time, then you’d accept it happily.

tanaka did exactly as he said he would, getting down on his knees as he gripped the sleeves of your sweater. this instantly made up for the shitty day you’ve had so far.

“y/n, please tell me whose handwriting this belongs to.” he begged.

his desperation was almost adorable. you knew who he wanted to be the person behind everything today. while you didn’t want to totally give away the surprise, you would be glad to give a hint and hope tanaka figured it out in enough time.

“all i’ll say is you better buy this person a lot of tenmusu later.” you tell him, hoping that served as a suitable clue.

“tenmusu…” tanaka tried thinking, but couldn’t come up with anything. “who the heck likes tenmusu?!”

“you know.” you smirk as you walk away. at least you could help someone else be happy today.

you walk back into the office by yourself. suga, now sitting at his desk, looked at you with a raised eyebrow. “what was that about?”

you eye tanaka as he walked back in, rubbing over your handprint on his cheek. you look over to kiyoko who doesn’t notice you’re looking at her nor that you’re aware of her secret identity.

“i’m cupid, biyotch.”

•••

it took tanaka five minutes to figure out who in this office likes tenmusu. he felt like he was on cloud nine if your hint was actually for real.

“could it… could it really be?” he questioned, almost in a love-filled daze. “if it’s really who i think it is, then i hope this dream never ends.”

•••

just what you needed to see, another delivery man. at least it wasn’t anything lavish this time, nor was it for yachi. it was merely a potted plant and a simple card. you would be glad to sign for the delivery man.

you walk over to kiyoko, yamaguchi, and tsukishima’s desks and place the plant in front of tsukishima, the receiver of said plant. “tsukki, it’s for you.”

“please don’t let it be from my mom…” he opened up the card. yeah, it was from his mom. “dammit.”

“haha, lonely, lonely tsukki once again.” yamaguchi laughed at him.

“shut up.” tsukishima rolled his eyes. “you’ve been around me too much, yamaguchi…”

“just be glad you got something today.” you say to him before heading back to your desk. when you return, ryo walked in. hopefully, he finally has the gift you’ve been waiting for all day.

“hey, babe.” he said as he leaned against your desk, watching as you sat down. “you almost ready to go? i’m gonna get the car warmed up.”

you look around. everything was filed in the right places, there weren’t any emails, and nobody was calling. there was nothing else for you to do, but you sure were bummed to have wasted your whole day mindlessly doing office work without any joy or pep in your step. “i guess, yeah.”

“what's wrong?” ryo asked, noticing you looked quite down. you know it’s bad if even he notices.

“nothing, it's just that i had to sit here all day while yachi got like an entire hallmark store delivered to her.” you say, letting out your frustrations. ryo wasn’t exactly the best person to go to when it came to your problems, but you hoped he’d just listen.

“what, are you mad at me or something?” he questioned. that wasn’t the point. he never understood the point.

“well, no—”

“then what’s the problem, y/n? i can’t read minds, ya know.” ryo scoffed.

there was no point in telling him what was wrong. he would never understand. could you really be chained to him for life like your families expected of you?

“nothing. it’s nothing.” all you could do is just bite your tongue. you’ve done it so much that it doesn’t even sting anymore.

“well, valentine's day isn't over, babe.” ryo said, trying to cheer you up, but miserably failing. “let’s get you home so i can light a candle and toss some rose petals on the bed or something.”

god. anything but that.

“i just have some things to finish up before i leave.” you lie to him. you just wanted a breather before the dreaded ride home, really.

“yeah, of course.” he replied.

once ryo left, you watch as everyone packed up for the day. tanaka seemed to be stalling his exit in hopes of catching his secret admirer earlier than the planned meetup time, but had no luck. you really wished for the best in his quest for love, especially when the one he wanted for so long.

“happy valentine’s day, y/n.” suga said on his way out.

“yeah, happy valentine’s day.” you reply. suga wouldn’t let you down like this, right? if only things were different. curse the expectations that rest as boulders on your back.

“goodnight, y/n.” yachi said as she and yamaguchi carried out her gifts together. lugging that massive teddy bear seemed to be the biggest struggle of all. at the very least, you didn’t have to deal with that monstrosity.

“night, you two…”

even if your valentine’s day wasn’t what you thought it would be, you hoped someone else—no matter who that may be—had a good day.

•••

(bonus scene)

tanaka waited outside the warehouse, his patience is wavering as it neared the meetup time. he had been dying for this all day, and it felt like time was going slower just for the sake of torturing him.

was this stupid? waiting around here like this? tanaka felt like a total idiot, that’s for sure. part of him almost thought this was one big prank, an insanely cruel one. if it was, then some ass kicking would definitely be in order.

just as tanaka was ready to say “screw it” and leave, his secret admirer finally appeared, the moment he had been waiting for all day. “tanaka.”

you weren’t playing around with your hint, it was kiyoko. come tomorrow, tanaka would give you the biggest hug in the whole world.

“kiyoko? it… it’s you?” he said breathlessly. “you’re my secret admirer?”

“mhm.” kiyoko shyly nodded.

tanaka still felt like he was dreaming. just the possibility felt like one, but knowing now that it truly was real, it was greater than the thought of pigs flying or finding a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

“why the anonymity?” he asked her. “you know i’d love anything as long as it’s from you. i mean, i asked you to marry me on my first day here, for christ’s sake.”

tanaka almost let out a laugh looking back at the memory of his first day. when he found out kiyoko would be showing him around the office, the words “marry me” slipped out of his mouth upon her introduction, almost like it came naturally. she didn’t seem phased one bit, simply saying “no” and moving on with the office tour as if nothing happened. kiyoko never once made fun of him for it, even if she had every opportunity to.

“i know. it seems so silly, but i just…” kiyoko paused. “i get shy with this kind of thing.”

“what do you mean?” tanaka asked. the moment of truth, he figured.

“i, uh…” instead of saying anything else, kiyoko gripped the collar of tanaka’s shirt and smashed her lips against his. it didn’t take long for him to reciprocate, immediately meshing against her lips. he felt like he was floating, but if anyone were to keep tanaka on the ground, it would always be kiyoko.

when she pulled away, tanaka immediately fell backwards, a loud smack against the pavement. that had to have hurt, but he truly couldn’t feel any pain after such a movie-like kiss.

“tanaka!” kiyoko gasped as she kneeled down to inspect him for any injuries. “are you okay?!”

“never felt better.” tanaka said, a dopey smile on his face. he truly was adorable in her eyes.

kiyoko softly grinned before helping tanaka back to his feet. the touch of her hand holding his finally allowed him to let the reality of the situation sink in; kiyoko actually liked him. no prank, no sick joke, all real. he couldn’t even fathom what he did to deserve such happiness.

“if it wasn’t obvious… i really like you, tanaka.” she said, any nerves she had throughout the day now faded away. “i’m sorry it took so long for me to catch up.”

“i’m just glad you made it.” he replied, tears forming in his eyes, all from pure joy.

tanaka leaned in to kiss kiyoko, finding solace with his arms around her waist as she wrapped hers around his neck. they kissed again, and again, and again, all without a care in the world. if tanaka could stay like this forever, he would. it felt safer this way.

“you wanna get some tenmusu?” tanaka asked as he pulled away.

“that’s my favorite.” kiyoko replied. “how’d you know?”

“a little birdie told me.” he shrugged, that birdie being you.

for tanaka, this was the best valentine’s day of his entire life. plus, nishinoya was certainly going to lose his mind when he found out about this. there’s truly nothing better than the girl he loved from the start finally feeling the same way.

© plutoccult / 310802. please do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my content in or outside of tumblr. reblogs are appreciated <3

[ekman]

Voici le visage du commissaire du peuple délégué à la censure pour la France, visa d’exploitation UE n°8563447. Cette sympathique tête d’abruti porte de nombreuses casquettes, toutes déformées par sa macrocéphalie gênante et sa réthorique de jésuite marxiste. 

Il s’appelle Christophe Deloire et il est à la tête (haha) de Reporters Sans Frontières, la fameuse assoce qui contribua, en des temps reculés, à la défense de quelques correspondants, photographes et autres reporters menacés, engeôlés, torturés... parfois butés. On se souvient d’ailleurs que son co-fondateur, l’affreuse girouette Ménard, y agit pendant de longues et néanmoins utiles années. ONG de terrain à sa création, “RSF” est progressivement devenue une sorte de chapelle morale à la con pour gauchiste en phase de recyclage, profil 45/55 ans, directeur des rédactions, déjà un divorce, une bicoque à Ré et les gosses HP en garde partagée. Aujourd’hui, “RSF” est une petite usine à gaz armée d’un budget annuel de huit millions d’euros (subventions publiques, mécénat et “fondations” sorosiennes à hauteur de 80 %), finançant la bagatelle de trois millions de “ressources humaines”. C’est vous dire si on est contents pour eux, leurs émoluments et leurs notes de frais. 

Cependant, notre carriériste ne se contente pas de ce job, car il est aussi directeur et vice-président du Centre de Formation des Journalistes, sorte de Saint Cyr pour futurs encartés du mainstream, escabeau vers la dynamique cooptatrice si chère à nos élites. Last but not least – comme écrivent encore les rescapés de la presse des années 2000, il a récemment été désigné pour occuper la tête des États Généraux de l’Information, énième pustule macroniste sensée réfléchir à la meilleure façon de bâillonner tout ce qui ne récite pas correctement la doxa informationnelle.

Ce tout petit Monsieur, cette authentique pompe à merde pour paraphraser Magritte dans son adresse à un critique acerbe, a conduit de main assurée une opération contre l’Arcom, via le Conseil d’État, au motif que la chaîne CNnews dérogerait de manière éhontée à la nécessaire représentation, sur son antenne, de sensibilités politiques diversifiées. Oui, CNews ne proposerait qu’une longue succession d’éditos et de pseudo-débats ultra fachos, indignes de la rayonnante démocratie française. Ne serait-il pas temps de sucrer leur fréquence à ces fumiers réacs, pense en substance ce petit Béria de bac à sable ? Cependant, es-tu certain de ne pas t’être trompé de cible ? Ne pensais-tu pas plutôt à la totalité des médias du service dit public ? Franchement, on se demande quel genre de promesse on a bien pu te faire pour que tu t’abaisses à ce point. Au pouvoir qui nous accable, tu sers le plat le plus dégueulasse qui soit, celui de la censure d’épuration, celle qui traduit un désir de vengeance amère. Ce qui te fait chier, Christophe Deloire, c’est qu’un média que tu ne pourras jamais contrôlé – et qui dit le contraire de ta Pravda publique en exposant les faits de la réalité de ce pays, puisse encore seulement respirer et laisse respirer des millions de Français. Ces Français-là – qui représentent quand même plus de la moitié des suffrages exprimés – te conchient, toi et ta clique de plumitifs vendus à un projet extra-territorial dont tu sers les desseins absurdes en pensant honorer tes vieilles lunes socialistes. 

Tu voudrais vivre comme Robespierre mais tu as peur de l’échafaud, tu voudrais mourir comme Marat mais tu ne te feras qu’enculer sous la douche. Pauvre toi, petit homoncule au crâne rempli de sérum égalitaire. Tu te crois pur et vertueux alors qu’il suffit d’observer ton regard vide pour comprendre que tu agis sur le seul fil de ton ambition démesurée. Ton envie de nuire est inversement proportionnelle à la taille de ta bite. Comment je le sais ? Sur le plateau de CNews où tu pensais pouvoir faire le bravache, tu t’es retrouvé le slip sur les chevilles, bizuté par d’ignobles nazis en colère. J’ai bien ri à observer ton désarroi. Tout compte fait, je te remercie pour ce moment passé chez ton vieux pote Bolloré.

J.-M. M.

[messycunt]

Just a random little idea that I thought of:

You've said before that there's an AU where MC is a breeding cow right? Well figure this. MC suddenly absolutely refusing to let any of the boys breed her at all and kicking up a major fuss whenever they try. Her milk also lessens in production and gains a bit of a sour note to it. The boys aren't quite sure what to do since MC was never let this before and nothing they do seems to fully calm her down.

As it turns out, her behavior is a response to the stress she was put under by Crowley putting her into a joint breeding program with RSF (Royal Swords Farm). She was set to breed with Neige and bare a calf for RSF, but she honestly didn't really want to. Neige was sweet and all, but she really would rather not breed outside of NRF. It felt wrong especially since she already had so many bulls openly vying for her attention already. In a way, it felt like cheating even though she wasn't in a relationship with any of them.

Crowley is completely ignorant of MC's refusal so when it comes time for them to breed he's confused when Neige also begins to show signs of refusal after being in the pin a few minutes with MC.

It takes Ambrose pointing out the glaring issue for Crowley to realize just how unhappy MC is and thankfully Crowley does end up pulling her from the program. MC gets many pats, treats, and apologies from the brainless birdman for making her uncomfortable. It takes a few day, but MC does eventually return to normal, her milk production back to where it was and tasting just as sweet and delicious as ever.

idk if I planned on including rsa in the au as initially, but this is good I'm gonna have to!

[thebusylilbee]

"Vers un bouleversement, mais à petits pas. L’Arcom, l’autorité de régulation de l’audiovisuel, a rendu publique le 18 juillet sa délibération concernant le respect du « pluralisme des courants de pensée et d’opinion ». Désormais, au lieu de contrôler seulement le temps de parole des responsables politiques à la radio et à la télé, afin de s’assurer que les divers courants politiques y ont droit à la parole de manière équitable, le gendarme de l’audiovisuel prendra en compte l’ensemble des participant·es aux programmes.

Objectif : lutter contre l’installation sur les antennes d’un déséquilibre « manifeste et durable » dérogeant aux principes du pluralisme politique, au sens large. Mais sans renouveler fondamentalement la manière dont l’Arcom opère. [...]

« Une évolution importante », qui était attendue depuis le 13 février dernier, date à laquelle le Conseil d’État, plus haute juridiction administrative, a demandé à l’Arcom de mieux veiller au respect du pluralisme par les médias qu’il contrôle en général, et par CNews en particulier.

Saisi par Reporters sans frontières (RSF) en 2021, qui lui demandait de mettre en demeure la chaîne d’information de Vincent Bolloré pour manquement à ses obligations relatives à l’honnêteté, à l’indépendance et au pluralisme de l’information, le gendarme de l’audiovisuel avait refusé. Début 2023, Roch-Olivier Maistre [président de l'ARCOM] avait même assuré que « CNews respecte strictement le pluralisme politique ».

Le Conseil d’État, pas franchement du même avis, avait donné raison sur presque toute la ligne à RSF, estimant pour la première fois que le respect du pluralisme devait tenir compte de « l’ensemble des participants aux programmes diffusés, y compris les chroniqueurs, animateurs et invités ». À charge pour l’Arcom de trouver, dans les six mois suivant la décision, le moyen de s’assurer du contrôle de cette obligation renforcée. [...]

Roch-Olivier Maistre et ses troupes traqueront désormais, a-t-il indiqué, le « déséquilibre évident ou, pour employer une expression à la mode, systémique, structurel, qui saute aux yeux ». Pour retenir leur attention, il faudra que ce déséquilibre soit aussi durable : il sera scruté sur une durée de trois mois pour les chaînes et radios classiques, et sur un mois pour les chaînes d’info en continu.

Pour se faire son avis, le régulateur s’appuiera sur « un faisceau d’indices » : la diversité des intervenant·es sur les plateaux, la diversité des thématiques faisant l’objet d’émissions, et la pluralité des points de vue exprimés sur chaque thème. « Est-ce qu’on est monocolore, monothématique, mono-intervenant ? », a traduit Roch-Olivier Maistre. [...]

Comme aujourd’hui, le gendarme de l’audiovisuel attendra la plupart du temps d’être saisi par des signalements pour se pencher sur un cas. Son attention se portera principalement sur les émissions d’information et « sur les programmes qui concourent à l’information », comme les débats et autres tablées d’éditorialistes, mais aussi les émissions d’infotainment.

Pas de grande surprise

[...] À vrai dire, on ne voit que les médias de Bolloré pour être gênés par les changements annoncés. Le recours de 2021 de RSF s’appuyait en particulier sur une étude de François Jost, sémiologue et professeur émérite à l’université Sorbonne-Nouvelle, qui avait démontré qu’en une semaine sur CNews, « les invités de droite et d’extrême droite [représentaient] plus des trois quarts des présences en plateau (78 %) ».

Précisément, sur le papier, la chaîne ne franchissait pas la ligne parce que, parmi les fers de lance de l’ultraconservatisme qu’elle promouvait, les journalistes étaient plus nombreux que les représentant·es de parti, et échappaient donc aux décomptes. L’Arcom va bientôt répondre une seconde fois à RSF, sur la base du nouveau cadre qu’elle vient de fixer.

La chaîne d’info a donc du souci à se faire. Tout comme sa petite sœur C8, théâtre des outrances de Cyril Hanouna, de plus en plus droitières au fil des mois, et Europe 1, la radio absorbée en 2020 par Vincent Bolloré, et qui n’a désormais plus rien à envier aux autres médias du groupe en termes de tonalité.

Rappelons que dès l’annonce de la dissolution par Emmanuel Macron, Sophie Davant a été éjectée d’Europe 1 pour faire de la place à Cyril Hanouna, qui a, trois semaines durant dans sa quotidienne d’une heure trente, fustigé l’alliance des partis de gauche et déroulé le tapis rouge aux candidat·es d’extrême droite.

[...]

À elles deux, C8 et CNews ont essuyé depuis 2012 plus de 45 sanctions de l’Arcom et de son ancêtre le CSA, pour un total de 7,5 millions d’euros d’amende (dont plus de 7 millions pour C8). Sans effet aucun sur leur manière de traiter l’actualité et de favoriser les thèmes et les prises de position chères à l’extrême droite.

Et jamais l’Arcom n’est allée jusqu’à prononcer les sanctions les plus sévères que lui autorise la loi, comme la suspension d’une émission ou, en dernier recours, le retrait de l’autorisation d’émettre à la chaîne dans son ensemble.

Avant la fin juillet, l’Arcom devra néanmoins faire un choix décisif, en réattribuant ou non à Bolloré les fréquences des ses deux chaînes controversées. L’autorité doit en effet trancher sur le renouvellement de l’attribution des fréquences des quinze chaînes de la TNT. Les auditions dans ce cadre, qui se sont achevées le 17 juillet, n’ont pas montré que les lieutenants de Bolloré avaient l’intention de changer quoi que ce soit à leurs méthodes.

Quelle que soit sa décision, l’Arcom a d’ores et déjà du pain sur la planche pour appliquer les nouvelles règles, car elles s’appliquent rétroactivement à compter du 13 février dernier, date à laquelle le Conseil d’État a rendu sa décision. Nul doute que l’autorité de régulation aura matière à se pencher de nouveau régulièrement sur les outrances des médias Bolloré.

Roch-Olivier Maistre a indiqué avoir déjà été saisi de plusieurs signalements sur le respect du pluralisme des opinions. « Le régulateur sera très attentif sur ce sujet, qui est central pour notre vitalité démocratique », a-t-il promis."

[922rifle]

A timeline of the Genocide in Sudan: the Darfur Genocide.

2003 - Soldiers of the military led government in Sudan and their proxy militia, known as Janjaweed (now known as the Rapid Support Forces or RSF) , fought rebel groups in Darfur. The government and Janjaweed forces systematically depopulated land inhabited by Fur, Masellt, and Zogawa communities through forced displacement and violent attacks on civilians. Attacks included the intentional burning of homes, villages, and crops and the systematic destruction of food stores. Among the acts of violence were the looting of relief supplies, killings, and widespread rape. It is estimated that the death toll reached 200,000 with the forced displacement of 2,000,000.

2004 - In 2004, the African Union Mission in Darfur (AMIS) was established to monitor the Humanitarian Ceasefire Agreement signed earlier that year. Partially in response to pressure from human rights advocates, members of the US government were some of the first international figures to label the violence in Darfur a genocide. The UN, the African Union (AU), and the European Union accused the Sudanese government and its allied militias of committing crimes against humanity. However, they disagreed that genocide had occurred.

2005 - In March 2005, the UN Security Council referred the case of Sudan to the International Criminal Court (ICC) for investigation of war crimes, crimes against humanity, and genocide.

Over the course of the genocide in Darfur, a pattern of government-sponsored actions included:

▫️ Backing Janjaweed militias in systematic attacks against civilians from the same ethnic groups as rebel forces

▫️ Bombing civilians from aircrafts

▫️ Committing massive human rights abuses, including murder, rape, and persecution based on race, ethnicity, and religion.

Large-scale government attacks against civilians declined after 2005. However, most of those displaced by the violence did not return home for fear that their villages would be attacked again. Attacks on civilians continued, on a smaller scale, for years.

2006 - African Union and UN efforts to negotiate a permanent settlement expanded in the years following the initial AMIS deployment. The effort resulted in the short-lived Darfur Peace Agreement (DA) in 2006.

2007 - In 2007, the United Nations Security Council authorized a hybrid United Nations-African Union peacekeeping force (UNAMID) to oversee the implementation of the DPA. Throughout its tenure, the force was underfunded and understaffed. It was also vulnerable to attacks from Sudanese government forces and rebel groups alike. These constraints hindered UNAMID's ability to fully implement its mandate to protect civilians in Darfur.

2008 - In July 2008, International Criminal Court (ICC) prosecutor Luis Moreno-Ocampo requested the court issue an arrest warrant for Sudanese President al-Bashir. The ICC charged al-Bashir with crimes against humanity and war crimes for the government's role in orchestrating violence in Darfur.

2019 - A popular uprising in the spring of 2019 resulted in the ouster of Sudanese President Omar Hassan al-Bashir.

2021 - In October 2021, the Sudan Armed Forces (SAF) and the Rapid Support Forces (RSF, also the Janjaweed) staged a military coup and formed a Transitional Military Council (TMC). Despite promises of transition to civilian rule, the TMC undid many of the reforms initiated by the civilian government in 2019. After the October 2021 coup, RSF leaders-especially General Mohamed Hamdan Dagalo "Hemedti"-continued to gain influence as members of the ruling TMC government.

2022- In December 2022, in the face of popular protests, the SAF, RSF, and Sudanese political parties negotiated a deal that would have slowly led to a new civilian administration in Sudan. The RSF, however, rejected the idea of formally integrating into the SAF.

2023 - In April 2023, the RSF attacked SAF positions in Khartoum and key military sites. The attacks sparked yet another wave of violence. In June 2023, the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum warned that Darfur civilians face significant risks of genocide. Several factors point to the risk of genocide. They include systematic attacks by the RSF and allied militias, impunity for past crimes, and new hate speech against marginalized groups. Darfur is undergoing another genocide.

More information on the crisis in Sudan.

All underlined text have links!

[coles-scythe]

Total Drama S/I (WIP)

Overwiew

Name: Jay Goodwell Label: The Daydreamer Age: 16 - 18 (Between the beginning of ROTI and the end of PI) Gender: Trans Masculine Non-Binary (He/They) Season Appearances: Revenge of the Island (debut), Ready Set Feud (AU season), Pahkitew Island, All-Stars Love Interests: Mike, Shawn Family: Skylar, Xavier Friends: Zoey, Cameron, Sam, Brick, Jo, Scott, Gwen, Jasmine, Samey, and Sky

Jay was a camper on Total Drama that debuted in Revenge of the Island (ROTI) and was present as a camper in the following three seasons. In ROTI , he was part of team Mutant Maggots. In Ready Set Feud (RSF), he returned as a camper and was part of team (TBA). In Pahkitew Island (PI), he returned as a camper and was part of team Wâneyihtam Maskwak (Confused Bears). In All-Stars (AS), he returned as a camper for the final time and was part of team Heroic Hamsters.

《< -------- >》

Appearance & Personality

Jay is a short, blond-haired boy that looks more feminine than his fellow male campers. As revealed in Truth or Laser Shark, he is transgender and has not yet transitioned, using clothing and small amounts of makeup to alter his appearance. He also speaks in a much lower tone than their natural one to hide that they are transgender from the other campers.

Jay typically wears a dark baggy zip-up jacket whose sleeves cover almost the entirety of his hands, short light-grey jorts that reach to his knees, darker grey socks that almost reach to his knees, and blue and white sneakers. For his sleepwear, Jay wears a light blue-grey t-shirt with a band logo and two lightning bolts in white on it, a darker purple-grey pair of shorts with his left leg rolled up slightly, and light-grey socks with the same blue-grey as their shirt on the toes and heels of the socks with two thin stripes near the hem at almost the same length as the socks of the usual outfit. His swimwear is currently a WIP. After Mike's elimination in Grand Chef Auto, Jay wears the pair of light blue glasses frames that Mike made and gifted to him in the episode before he was hurled. The light blue glasses become a permanent part of their main outfit by the next episode.

Jay is a meek but kind-hearted individual that tries not to stick out in a crowd. He seems to have a bit of knowledge on almost everything, claiming his enjoyment of surfing the internet a lot as the reason why. He tends to lose his focus quite often, even during challenges, wandering off into daydreams and thinking too far ahead of what he's currently doing, causing him to miss what is happening in the present. Jay's personality seems to take a turn whenever his sister, Skylar, is present however. He is much more outgoing and confident, even being competitive in challenges when pit against his sister, as seen in Ice Ice Baby.

《< -------- >》

Revenge of the Island

WIP

《< -------- >》

Ready Set Feud

WIP

《< -------- >》

Pahkitew Island

WIP

《< -------- >》

All-Stars

WIP

[mythicalmagical-monkeyman]

(RSFS au)

Azure: *trying to sweet talk his way out of getting his ass kicked* Wukong: *internally* It's about to be so funny when me, a monkey, kills you, a lion. THE CIRCLE OF LIFE SHATTERS BEFORE MY MIGHT!

[monkeyman-sideblog]

Other aus of mine if anyone is interested:

Not Just Wukong au: Au where Wukong has D.I.D. (Dissociative identity disorder).

Tag: Njw au

Ships: N/A

How I met your mother au: Au where PIF and Macaque are royalty and Wukong and DBK are Robin Hood style outlaws.

Tags: Is & As au, How I met your mother au, HIMYM au,

Ships: DBK x PIF, Wukong x Macaque, Ruyi x Jade Faced Princess, one sided Azure Lion x Macaque.

Rising seas and falling stars au: (thank you @filijester for helping me come up with a name) Swap au where Mei takes Mk’s place and gets the staff, Red son takes Mei’s place, and MK takes Red Son’s place and has a lightning sword. Other swaps do take place.

Tags: swap au, RSFS au,

Ships: (all background or past) Pigsy x Tang (qpr), DBK x PIF, Macaque x Wukong

{others maybe to be added}

[jeusussavearmyveteran1205]

Indochine - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) [au profit de RSF] (Clip o...

[jemaimemoi]

J'ai pleuré :

Quand Anyssa a pleuré

Quand RSF m'a appelé pour que je renouvelle mon don

Dans la 7

En pensant au Liban

Au tel avec Ahmad qui me parle des bippers

[hensmans]

Famine au Soudan : Utilisation de la nourriture comme arme de guerre

Source: The Guardian Amnesty International et HRW Le Soudan est plongé dans une crise humanitaire d’une gravité exceptionnelle, marquée par une famine qui pourrait devenir la plus meurtrière au monde depuis celle survenue en Éthiopie il y a 40 ans. Les affrontements entre l’armée soudanaise (SAF) et les Forces de soutien rapide (RSF) exacerbent cette catastrophe, les deux factions utilisant…

[tche-rien]

RooOOOooor ! & Mouarfff

C'est ballot... un nanti-anti-vaxxx, le mec qui voulait censurer au nom de la liberté d'expression !!!

Mooohhhh non je ne suis pas sadique avec esprit de vengeance ! C'est LOI DE VIE... les fruits POURRIS tombent tout seul...