so liek, janey’s been having a tough time with the whole jake thing n all, an i was like u no what? eff that, ur an absolute star!
so ya this one’s for u janey lol
Spoken: Janey, look, I *know* ur heartbroken over Jake, but it’s not like him rejecting u means that there’s something wrong with u! No seriously Janey just listen to me alright?
When I first saw you Janey, I thought that u were hot
No really, I’m serious, I thought that u were hot
And my tender heart, well it skipped a beat
But u really need a friend right now, so let’s put this to the side for now
I know, I know exactly what you need
Heartbreak’s a tough luck case
And though you’re the toughest case I’ve yet to face
Don’t worry! I’m determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And yes indeed
You… will… be…
A heartbreaker.
Ur gonna be a heartbreaker
I’ll teach u the proper poise when you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce
I’ll show u what face to make when u talk to Jake
So that u don’t let him know he’s a
Heartbreaker- Swear I’ll make u a heartbreaker
You’ll walk with ur head held high
What a pretty sight!
Confidence is key, you know
So let’s start!
You’ve got a bit of a way to go
I’m gonna try my best to be frank with you
Cause there ain’t nothing I can think of that u cannot do
Now that I’ve chosen become ur galpal
And ur adviser
There’s nobody wiser
So I’ll teach u to be a
Heartbreaker, ur gonna be a heartbreaker
And with an assist from me
To be who u’ll be
Instead of dreary who you were- well, are
There’s nothing that can stop
From being a Heartbreaker- kar
La- la, la-la
You’re gonna be a Heartbreaker
Why be so depressed and long-faced?
Honestly, it’s just such a waste
Let me remind you on your own behalf to think of
All the good you’ve done before, and how ur gonna do so much more
Compared to that, this aint gonna kill u, don’t make me laugh!
You’re a Heartbreaker, see?
Janey, ur a heartbreaker
He didn’t choose you, boss?
Well that’s just his loss
Cause u know ur gonna be
A really big heartbreaker like me
Spoken: Seriously, Janey, I’m telling you- you’re a heartbreaker! You don’t even know how many hearts you’ve broken... or even... *whose* hearts you’ve broken.
Hm? Oh no, I’m fiiiine, I’m fine *pffffbbbt* ya know me, just goofin’ around *laughs*. Nah, I’m cool. Oh, but hey! I’ll see you at your party later, ok? Yeah, go on, buh-bye now!
And so there you go
I just know that you’ll show
Off, and I know with clarity
You’re gonna grin and bear your Heartbreak-ilarity
La- la, la-la
You’ll be a Heartbreaker
Just make sure u don’t break ur heart… like… me
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