#rowaelin spicy times

[leiawritesstories]

i need more aelin and rowan in the ballet pleasee 😭💖

always happy to write more of my ballet babies 💕🥰

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: ballet talk, swearing, NSFW, oops it turned into smut

Enjoy!!

performance reference (Fumi Kaneko, The Royal Ballet)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'll never get this stupid variation down, Aelin groaned to herself as she dropped out of a triple pirouette for the third time in a row. Muttering a curse under her breath, she bent into plié in fourth position and attempted the pirouette again. And again.

And again.

She was debuting as Aurora in The Sleeping Beauty in less than a month. Which meant she had only a few weeks to get this bloody variation down. Aurora Act I is a difficult variation, as her coach was always reminding her. You shouldn't be expecting yourself to get it down overnight.

Forcing herself to breathe, Aelin shook out her legs and walked in a tight circle. Maybe giving herself a quick break would help. She'd never been a natural turner, but she could execute triple pirouettes--and the occasional quadruple pirouette--cleanly, hence her frustration with these ones not working. She took a short sip of water, rewound the music, and restarted the section of the variation she'd been working on.

This time, when the pirouette came up, she rose into passé rélevé on her right leg, set down into plié, and turned on her left leg instead of her right. And she floated cleanly through three pirouettes, landed, and pumped her fist in the air, grinning.

Huh. Apparently she was a left turner.

Note to self: discuss turning to the left with coach. Aelin filed away the thought for after her rehearsal. Newly energized by her pirouette success, she ran through that middle section of the variation a few more times, turning to the left, then took a few minutes, rewound the music all the way to the beginning, and started the variation from the top, ending with a sequence of châiné turns into B-plus position, arms in an effortless, open fifth position above her head.

Applause rippled from behind her as she practiced her bow. Surprised, she hastily rose from her curtsy and turned towards the studio door, mentally praying it wasn't her coach standing there.

It wasn't.

It was Rowan Whitethorn, her Prince in this casting.

Aelin dropped into a more sardonic curtsy, dipping her head at Rowan. "Come to laugh at my failure to turn?" She rolled her eyes. "It's fine, I'd laugh at myself too if it wasn't so damn frustrating."

"Hey." Rowan walked into the studio, closed the door behind himself, and caught her hand. "All I saw was you absolutely killing that variation, Ace. I swear." He crooked his little finger. "Pinky swear."

"You better," she grumbled. "My pirouettes were absolute shit until I switched legs." She sighed heavily and glanced at the clock. "Oh, hell. Half an hour until Coach blows my legs out."

Rowan rested his hands casually against her waist, sending an electric thrum up her spine. "Sounds like you need a little bit of relaxation, hmm?" His rasping whisper brushed against her ear.

Aelin shivered in anticipation, in delight. "We're in a studio," she retorted. "And the door isn't locked."

"We can fix that." He pressed a featherlight kiss to the side of her throat. "And before you pretend to protest, there aren't any windows in this studio." Another teasingly light kiss. "I almost wonder if you picked this space on purpose."

"Hardly," she snarked. "I'm never planning for my boyfriend to interrupt my--ohhh!" Her sass broke off into a gasp when that boyfriend of hers dipped his head down to nip at her pulse point and dipped his hand down under her rehearsal tutu. "Rowan."

"Aelin," he groaned, body jerking as she reached back and palmed his cock through his tights, the thin athletic shorts he wore over the tights doing absolutely nothing to control his rapidly hardening erection.

Before she could lose herself in the sensation of his lips on her skin and his hand between her thighs, Aelin slipped out of Rowan's arms, hurried over to lock the door, and waltzed back across the floor. His dark green gaze tracked each of her deliberate steps. Deciding to tease him just a little more, she rose onto pointe and moved in a series of bourrée across the floor, stopping two paces away from Rowan and launching into a turn à la seconde, one leg extended out to the side.

Flawlessly, he lunged forward and caught her, wrapping one arm around her waist and looping the other around her extended leg, and pulled her flush against him with his leg slotted between hers. She let out a quiet moan and arched into him, craving the friction his muscled thigh created against her throbbing core.

"Please," she gasped, sliding one arm up and back to tangle in his bleached hair. One quick tug had his bandanna on the floor and her fingers woven into his floppy hair, the strands soft between her fingers. "Unless you can't live up to your big talk about relaxing me."

"I'll show you big talk," he rumbled, working her tights partway down her legs, tucking the bottom of her leotard off to the side, and pressing the pad of his thumb directly against her needy clit. She moaned a string of garbled curses and dropped her head backwards onto his shoulder, exposing the elegant column of her neck.

"Fuck, Ro!"

"That's right, princess, tell the world who makes you feel so good," he purred, plunging two fingers into her cunt. She moaned his name, her eyes fluttering closed. "Good girl." He pumped his fingers faster, drawing those breathy, needy sounds he loved so much out of her throat.

"Rowan." Her hand wrapped around his wrist. "I need you. Now." Her hips bucked backwards, rocking against his hard cock through the thin layers separating them. "Please."

"Since you asked so nicely," he murmured. He withdrew his fingers, spun her around so she was facing him, and raised his fingers to her lips. "How do you taste, princess?"

"So good," she groaned around his fingers, her words muffled. She danced her fingertips down his chest, down to his shorts, and pushed the garments down far enough to let his erection spring free, pressing it to her dripping core. "So good."

"Good girl," he groaned. He lifted one of her legs, hooked it around his waist, lined his cock up with her entrance, and slammed home in one fluid thrust. "Fuuuuuuuuckkkk, Ae," he groaned, dropping his forehead to press against hers. "You feel incredible." She moaned in agreement, rocking her hips against his. He smirked. "Needy, aren't you, princess?"

"Only for you," she panted.

He kissed her fiercely, swallowing her moan as he thrust harder, faster. "That's my good girl." She groaned deeply, her fingers scraping lightly down the skin of his back. The edge of pain spurred him faster, his thrusts almost wild. He flicked a glance at the mirror, captivated by the carnal sight of them in the middle of the studio. "Open your eyes, princess. Look how beautiful you are all wrapped around my cock."

She looked into the mirror, her gaze heavy with desire as her brilliant eyes fixed on the almost lewd display. "Harder, Ro."

He obliged, hips pounding into hers so hard her legs buckled. Easily, he swept her up into his ridiculously huge arms, letting her lock her legs around his waist as his thrusts stuttered, a clear sign of how close he was. "Aelin," he moaned, "I'm gonna--"

"Come for me," she whispered, barely able to form the words through the tremors shaking her body as her own orgasm crested and exploded. He groaned her name as he came with her, staying buried inside of her as their bodies stilled.

"Love you," she mumbled into his neck as he pulled out and cleaned her up with a couple of tissues, carefully fixing her clothes and her tutu.

"Love you more," he murmured, kissing the top of her head. "Feel relaxed, princess?"

She took a step back from him and stretched herself out, arching her back and raising her arms over her head. "Mmmm, yes I do." She rose onto pointe and kissed him softly. He settled one hand on the back of her head and deepened the kiss, dragging out the sweet moment until she had to pull away. "Rehearsal, Ro, I have rehearsal."

"I do too," he sighed. "Ugh. Merde, love."

"See you tonight!" she chirped, slinging her dance bag over her shoulder as she hurried out of the studio.

He damn well would.

~~~ TAGS:

@live-the-fangirl-life

@superspiritfestival

@thegreyj

@wordsafterhours

@elentiyawhitethorn

@morganofthewildfire

@backtobl4ck

@rowanaelinn

@house-of-galathynius

@tomtenadia

@julemmaes

@swankii-art-teacher

@charlizeed

@booknerdproblems

@chronicchthonic14

@earthtolinds

@goddess-aelin

@sweet-but-stormy

@clea-nightingale

@autumnbabylon

@darling-im-the-queen-of-hell

@llyncooljones

@silentquartz

[shyvioletcat]

Day 1 of Rowaelin Month! I thought it might be fun to revisit this one for Long Distance Surprise. Head over to @rowaelinscourt for more Rowaelin Month goodness.

~ Masterlist Pending ~

~~~~~

Aelin knew what she was getting into when she decided to enter a relationship with a global singing superstar. She was no stranger to fame herself with her highly successful talk show and it had been what had brought her and Rowan together in the first place. It still didn’t make certain aspects any easier. She could brush off the constant rumours plastered on the front of the tabloids, the lies for a quick sell didn’t bother her. They were both old hands when it came to the lack of privacy and they did the best they could in that regard. It was the time spent apart that took its toll, now more than ever. 

They were newlyweds and they were having a baby, a time they should have been basking in their overabundant love. But instead Aelin was alone and absolutely miserable about it.

This pregnancy wasn’t planned and that came with some obstacles. Rowan still had obligations, locked in months in advance, and he had done his best to work his way out of the non-essential ones. After they’d had their fun with the stunt on Aelin’s show they’d taken a fortnight off work. Those two blissful weeks were far too short and then Rowan had needed to leave for a tour in Rifthold. For more than a month Aelin had been moping around, missing her husband and trying not to think about how sad she was.  

Rowan hated it too. He was very vocal about his displeasure and the tirade he’d directed at Lorcan in their living room the night before he left had been one for the history books. Lorcan, the levelled headed manager than he was, calmly explained Rowan was under contractual obligations and the fallout from breaking those was not worth it. Rowan was ready to throw the remainder of his career out the window, but Aelin had managed to convince him that they could survive a few months, there was no reason to risk giving up doing what he loved. Right now Aelin had regrets about her practicality. 

She was alone in her dressing room, the call to be out on the soundstage was in about 15 minutes. The phone call she’d had with Rowan this morning had left her in tears and she could still feel the lingering effects. It was usually a video call, but Rowan explained he didn’t have enough service for it to work properly. He ran on her schedule so sometimes he only had a few minutes. Aelin had got used to seeing his face and giving him a bump update, soaking in his words of pure adoration he had for her and their baby. This morning she’d missed that, luckily she had been able to keep it together until she hung up the phone. As soon as the red button had been pushed Aelin had promptly burst into tears. Her face still felt puffy and her eyes felt heavy. If she didn’t have work to do she’d just sleep. 

It was the hormones, she was sure of it. They had to be the reason she was so teary all the time. Everything set her off, just last week one of her guests had told a story how they missed out on their favourite doughnuts and Aelin had been reaching for the tissues. That had been embarrassing to say the least and it had taken a lot of placating and a spicy kind of call with Rowan to make her feel better.

Just like that and her thoughts were back on Rowan. Aelin looked up to the mirror in front of her and watched as her eyes mist up her reflection, threatening to ruin the make-up that had just been finished. She had to pull herself together. Another hour and a half and she could hide in here, lock her door and cry her eyes out. Then she would go home and eat an entire block of chocolate and wait for her evening phone call with Rowan. It was as easy as that. Aelin stood, snapping a photo of herself and the bump, another ritual for her and Rowan while they suffered through this hellish long distance separation. The flower bouquet on her vanity that Rowan sent her every week was starting to wilt, she was more than confident another one would appear today. She was surprised it hadn’t already. 

By some miracle Aelin had made it through the whole show without shedding a tear despite her horrid mood. The segment on the local animal shelter had pushed her close to breaking, but she held out. Phone in hand, Aelin was headed back to her dressing room, ready to try and call Rowan despite knowing he wouldn’t be available. When the message tone pinged Aelin excitedly flipped the screen into view, hoping it was a text from her husband. It wasn’t. It was a reminder from her doctor about her scan appointment tomorrow. 

She was meant to get it when she was closer to 20 weeks, not 23 weeks that she was now. But Aelin, miserable and busy as she was, had been delaying it. Now her doctor was insisting and there was no real reason for Aelin to delay any longer. It was routine and the doctor had no real concerns so she hadn’t felt too guilty in waiting. Of course she had wanted Rowan to be there, and that might have been part of the subconscious reasoning behind her avoidant actions. This unfortunately was one of the sacrifices they had to make. It wasn’t like he was missing the birth and he promised he’d be able to video call her through the whole thing. They were meant to find out the gender, and that was a moment Aelin had wanted to share in real life. 

The first thing she noticed walking into her dressing room was the giant bouquet of kingsflame obstructing her mirror. It was damn hard to miss, even with the smallest of glances that she given the room. With a heavy sigh she turned and locked the dressing room door ready to follow through with her plan so that she could wallow in peace. 

“Locking the door without even knowing I'm in here?”

Aelin whiled, hand going to her stomach. Rowan was sitting on her couch, arm draped along the back of it and looking devastatingly handsome and right there. Not a grainy image, not a voice through a phone, the man was physically in her dressing room. 

“Should I be worried about your lapse in personal security?” he raised a brow at her, the corner of his mouth following. “Or did someone give me away?”

“Rowan?” Aelin said she didn’t know why it came out like a question, like maybe she had fallen asleep and was dreaming. 

“Aelin,” he said far too smoothly, his eyes darting over her. She saw the way his gaze softened when it landed on her stomach. 

They were locked in that moment for a heartbeat and then Aelin was striding forward as fast as she could manage. Rowan was on his feet a second later waiting to catch her once she threw her phone on the couch cushions. Aelin threw her arms around him, burying her face in his chest, breathing him in and just so happy to be holding him. Rowan’s arms gently wound around her too, and he pressed a single kiss to her head before resting his chin there. 

“What are you doing here?” Aelin asked, voice thick and tears already falling.

Rowan’s hands were gentle as he cupped her cheeks, wiping away the dampness from her cheeks. “It’s the scan tomorrow, I couldn’t miss that.”

Aelin broke completely, a sob shaking her entire body. Rowan just held her, running soothing hands down her back. He knew she just needed to let it out, he would wait. Her ever patient husband was everything she needed right now. 

“Come on, love. Let’s sit down,” Rowan insisted after a while. 

Aelin’s laugh came out on a bit of a choke, it had been five minutes and he was already fussing. Rowan sat down first, helping Aelin to ease down with him. She did the best she could to sit so she was facing him but her bump was making it a little difficult to get her legs how she wanted them. When she managed to get comfortable Aelin sighed, smoothing a hand over her dress. Rowan tracked the movement, his hand reaching out and resting on her stomach.

“You’ve gotten so big,” Rowan said, awe in his voice. If it hadn’t been for his pure amazement Aelin might have hit him, but he quickly realised his mistake, glancing up with a shy smile. “You know what I mean.”

She did. The last time she had seen Rowan, Aelin was really just starting to pop. Now she had a defined 23 week old bump. There had been some necessary wardrobe updates and she only saw more in the imminent future.

Aelin was never more thankful for her choice of couch. The seat was deep and the cushions were soft—it made her impending plans all that much easier. Tired of being so far away from Rowan, she shuffled over and despite the baby between them she manoeuvred herself to sit straddling his lap. Rowan was more than accommodating, helping her until they were both comfortable. It was a little difficult but thanks to Rowan’s hulkish size it made things easier, and Aelin managed to rest her head on his shoulder. 

“I missed you so much,” she sighed. 

“I missed you too,” Rowan said. 

Then he tilted her head up and kissed her and Aelin was cursing herself for crying and not getting to this sooner. She ran her hands over his shoulders, his neck, wanting him closer like she would never have to let him go again. Rowan wasn’t idle either, his hands were a heavy presence on her thighs, holding her steady as she took everything she needed from him. Aelin could feel the scratch of his stubble under her fingers and her lips as she kissed a path to his neck. She would have kept going but the baby moving startled her out of her plans.

Aelin sat back, hand on her stomach. “That still feels so weird.”

Rowan’s hand followed to cover hers. “I still won’t be able to feel it, right?”

”Not for a couple more weeks, but I know that won’t stop you from trying,” Aelin said. 

The smile that Rowan gave her had Aelin’s heart lodging in her throat and she was crying again.

“I’m fine,” Aelin assured her husband before he started fussing again. “It’s the hormones, I’m crying at everything these days.”

Rowan’s chuckle was light, refraining from wording the teasing that was in his eye. Then his expression turned thoughtful, head tilting as he looked at the door. 

“Why did you lock the door?” He asked. “You’ve never bothered before and we’ve been interrupted so many times. We have literally traumatised Lorcan.”

Aelin couldn’t look her husband in the eye and hoped he didn’t notice the flush on her cheeks. Being caught out about her crying session shouldn’t be this embarrassing. But she was so dedicated to keeping up the appearance that she was one hundred percent okay while he was away, she didn’t want him to know about this. 

“Aelin,” Rowan said, the name half scolding and half pleading. 

Aelin sighed, her head tilting to the ceiling. “I locked it so no one would walk in on me crying my eyes out.”

”Fireheart,” Rowan said sadly, like that admission broke his heart. 

“I just missed you so much.” Aelin looked at him and brought her hands to rest on his shoulders. “I just needed a good cry to make myself feel better.”

“Well, I’m here now,” Rowan said resolutely before his voice dropped lower in a way that had Aelin leaning closer on instinct. “Let me make you feel better.”

This time when Rowan kissed her, Aelin held nothing back. Nothing would distract them now, not when they were about to get utterly lost in each other. Today might not have started out terribly, but it was ending much better than Aelin could have ever predicted.

~~~~~

Thanks for reading!

[morganofthewildfire]

Hey friend!! How are you? I’m stopping by your ask box because as you probably noticed, I have been away from this site for several months now. I have so many notifications to comb through it will probably take me weeks to get all caught up on all the fics I missed out on. Could you possibly help me out? What have the lovely writers in our fandom blessed us with? Is there anything I need to immediately go and read? What should I read first? Ahh there’s probably so much! I feel like I just put so much pressure on you lol! But I honestly did not know who else to ask other than the fandom mom around here. Thank you thank you! ❤️ (And you will definitely see me in your notes catching up on all your writing!)

Hello!!!!!!!

It's so nice to see you! I'll definitely try to help as much as I can!

@rowanaelinn has started an amazing new fic called Right Where You Left Me, inspired by the song and by the tv show Scandal! It's absolutely amazing and I cannot wait for more

@house-of-galathynius is continuing to beguile me completely with the Long Road Home, I freaking adore that fic so so much

same with @justreadertings 's Sweet Understanding! There's four parts now and it's so so so so so so so good, I've reread it about ten times already, no exageration!

@heirofflowers has a spicy new fic called High Infidelity, set in an alternative canon world, it's so good!

@wordsafterhours is continuing to stun me with Songs About You, I am so hooked to that story

@writtenonreceipts posted the third part to Where We've Been, Where We're Going and I am so amazed by her ability to write! It's so so good and so freaking emotional in the best ways possible

@tomtenadia 's Thicker Than Blood is as amazing as ever! The mystery and angst are continuing to rise and it's so good and suspenseful!

@golden-kingdom has an amazing Yulemas fic!! Six parts I believe, it was so freaking entertaining!

ohh and @heirofflowers also wrote an amazing Yulemas multichapter!!! It's called There Was Only One Tent and it was so fun!

@leiawritesstories started a new fic based on game of thrones! I'm so hooked already and there's only been two parts!!

And of course there was 12 Days of Rowaelin! That should all be reblogged onto the @rowaelinscourt blog!

i've written a few new things, including a new STT outtake that I'm happy with! 🥰 and that should all be linked on my masterlist!

I'm so happy you're back!!!!!

[manonblaqkbeak]

Every time I see a spicy pic of Rowan, aelin and fenrys, I die a little. Like rowaelin are hopelessly devoted to each other that seeing others involved (even tho it's just fanart) it just feels wrong lol

[thegreyj]

Thanksvember: day 30

Shoutout to my all time favorite fic(s) @rowaelinfandomlove

Because I've already shared so many of my favorite fics throughout Thanksvember 2022, here are some more of my favorites that I've yet to mention during the month of the wonderful Thanksvember.

Prepare - there's quite a few on this list.

Sacred Heart by @house-of-galathynius I remember finding this fic when there was just a few chapters and the wait was excruciating, because we had no idea where the story was going, it was so tense and painful. But so beautiful.

Remember Us by @tomtenadia The sadness, the rebuilding, regaining memories... Beautiful, brilliant and absolutely one of my comfort fics. Rowaelin family fics always make me smile, but this one broke my heart first. Then helped me smile again.

Fly The Black Flag by @leiawritesstories Sexy, sassy, horny pirates? Funny banter? Hilarious plot twists, deserved deaths? Some extremely inventive places for spicy times? These all are part of what makes FTBF so absolutely incredible and hilarious.

23A by @alifletcher2012 Oh, this fic took me on a journey which I will never forget. I keep going back for this - a brilliant fic of our precious Rowaelin meeting, hating and falling hard. Yes, please. Forever one of my comfort fics.

One Night Standards by @sassyhobbits I couldn't stop reading this one when I first came upon it - a brilliant, sexy, and such funny story with some of my favorite tropes: one-night-stand turned to more, arranged marriage and forced proximity. And the angst in this is so delicious.

Touch Me Like That by @heirofflowers The scene we definitely knew we needed but were denied in the books - you all know that moment in QoS... This magnificent piece of smutty art absolutely gives us everything we want, need and more.

My warrior queen by @tomtenadia This... this absolutely grasped me in a tight grip. I'm still holding out hope that this one gets continued, I absolutely loved, loved, loved this beautiful story about finding out about the mate bond, but not being able to act on it right away. It's worth it in the end though.

Majoring in Hate, Minoring in Love by @morganofthewildfire This has it all - absolutely fantastic angst, enemies to lovers, secret hookups/dating, college life and the struggles of learning to trust, breaking trust and building it back up? I love this so much and it kills me every time but I can't stop rereading this.

Beautiful Mirror by @rowanaelinn Aelin feeling down and not like herself anymore? Rowan showing her exactly what he thinks? The heat in this is enough to set the world on fire. But the beauty behind the entire thing is just why I love this little fic so much.

Plus so many more I just can't possibly list them all! Thank you all incredible Rowaelin creators for every single word you write, every wonderful art piece you share. You help keep our small fandom alive, day by day, and we wouldn't be here if it weren't for every single one of us doing our best.

[emeriethevalkyriegirl]

A FAMOUS FANFIC WRITER JUST TAGGED ME! IM SO HAPPY 🩷🩷🩷🩷

Last Song: Judas by Lady Gaga

Favorite color: Pink

Currently watching: BNA (Brand New Animal). I’m actually rewatching it for the 5th time but it’s still awesome

Sweet/savory/spicy: Sweet and savory.

Relationship status: single

Current obsession: Roblox. I haven’t played it in a while

Last thing I googled: The news. I need to catch up on a few things

Tag list: @rowaelin-herondale @theladyofdeath @dokidoki-muffin @goddess-aelin @giggly-squiggily @olaineishere

9 people you’d like to know better

Thank you for the tag @clockwork-ashes and @lovely-vanserra-sunshine

Last song: Riot by Hollywood Undead- trust me I regret a full shuffle too. Lol

Favorite color: pastels but pink

Currently watching: Does GTLive count?

Sweet/Savory/spicy: sweet

Relationship status: Chronically single

Current obsession: -gestures around- acotar

Last thing you googled: atmospheric gravity wave experiment

No pressure tags: @acourtofladydeath @mybestfriendmademe @tilseptemberends @tsunami-of-tears @hieragalbatorixdottir @shadowdaddies @mika-no-sekai-blog @wickedfelinaxo @achaotichuman

[julemmaes]

Like I'm Drowning

Rowaelin Month, Day Twelve

A/N: Sorry about this, blame @thewayshedreamed, she's the one who wanted more angst.

This will have a fourth part, for obvious reasons;)

part one, part two

Word count: 3,874

It was two days after Aelin had left their home. It was about eleven o'clock in the evening when the walls of what had once been his favourite place had shaken with the force of Lorcan's fists on the front door, shouting at Rowan to let him in.

He had not answered.

He couldn't have done so even if he'd wanted to because his legs had stopped working and the muscles in his neck had been reduced to jelly over the last forty-eight hours, sip after sip of whatever alcohol he'd found in the cabinet.

He lay on the floor, his face in a pool of his own vomit, too heedless to care, too sore to move. In any case, he had stopped smelling the stench hours ago.

Another ten minutes had passed, in which his best friend had threatened over and over again to call the police if he didn't open the fucking door, before Lorcan had slammed his shoulder into it.

He hadn't been able to move in time when the door unhinged from the wall fell partially on him, hitting him in the head with one of the now splintered edges. He grunted in pain and could smell the blood as it began to trickle down his forehead, onto his nose, and he was relieved - he wasn't dead. Rowan had not been sure of it until that moment.

The other was there an instant later, taking the door off him, leaning it against the wall.

And the sharp breath he took was a dagger straight to Rowan's heart.

He didn't want him to see him like this.

He had never heard Lorcan's voice like that. So shocked, so worried. Whatever emotions he was feeling at the moment were blocking him from approaching him. Almost as if he was afraid of scaring him. Of breaking him more than he already was.

Rowan shook his head what he could, he didn't want him to see him like this. He didn't deserve his help.

"God, Rowan, what have you done?"

The relief at finding out he was still alive lasted a moment though, as the pain in his chest hit him so hard it took his breath away and he pulled himself up onto all fours before yet another wave of gags shook his body. He opened his mouth, hoping that this time something would come out, but he choked on nothing. His eyes filled with tears and Rowan wondered how that was possible.

There should have been nothing in his body.

He’d been in this conditions since the day before.

He felt a hand settle on his back, rubbing up and down as Lorcan tried to figure out what was going on, and his brain betrayed him, showing him images of a life he had taken for granted all along, from the second she had been his.

Him on the bathroom floor a few months earlier.

A box of somewhat-too-spicy Chinese food on their coffee table.

And Aelin.

Her hands on his back.

He shook off Lorcan's hand, "Don't touch me."

The words burned his throat and another gag went up his esophagus.

He stayed in that position for a few minutes, his back rising and falling frantically with each breath where he seemed to be unable to get enough air in.

"Rowan."

He didn't look at him. He couldn't.

"Rowan, you hear me?"

Lorcan ducked down, crouching beside him, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder, but he seemed to remember what he'd just asked him not to do as soon as he gave him a startled look. If he touched him again, he didn't know what his broken mind would show him. He was terrified of it.

With a grimace, Lorcan clenched both hands into fists and took a deep breath, closing his eyes as the sour smell of vomit and what Rowan was ashamed to admit was his own piss reached his nostrils. When he opened them again there was a distinct determination in his gaze and Rowan had to pull his eyes back to the floor.

He thought he had found a sort of calm in which he might even be able to answer Lorcan's questions, but he was wrong. He was so wrong.

"What happened?”

“I feel-” he tried to speak, failing, “I feel like I’m drowing.”

“Why? What happened?” he asked again. And then the final hit, “Where's Aelin?"

There was no stopping the first sob. His vision went totally blurry, blackening everything in front of him until all he could see was the image of her, and his chest constricted to the point where breathing was no longer even an option. He fell to the side, against the wall, and there was no stopping the desperate crying that washed over him.

***

It was three days after Aelin had left their home. It was eight o'clock in the evening when Elide and Lorcan had asked him if he would like to go back there after leaving the hospital. It was twenty past eight when they had reached his street and he was counting down the seconds till he got to smell her perfume in the air again.

He had entered the house and tried not to breathe through his nose, realising he was not ready to remember what her scent was. He noticed how everything had been cleaned, tidied up or fixed and he didn't have the mental or physical trength to turn around, hug his friends and thank them.

He looked towards the kitchen, on the table. The letter was no longer there.

"Where is it?" he asked in a hoarse voice.

He hadn't spoken in the last few hours. Not to the couple he knew was staring at him from the doorway.

He'd been forced to answer questions from the doctors, from his coaches asking him how much time he needed. Lorcan had warned him that he'd lied for him, that he'd told them someone dear to them both had suffered a serious injury and died.

Rowan had looked at him and said a simple thank you while he lay on his hospital bed, despite knowing how much a fuckup of that magnitude risked not only his career, but Lorcan's as well.

It was Elide who had the courage to answer him, "What?"

"The letter."

"Oh." she whispered, "I put it in your room."

He nodded. Running a hand over his face he turned to them, noting how they both looked ready to launch themselves forward if they thought Rowan was going to crumble once more time.

He saw Lorcan clench his jaw and then look away before saying, "You won't find any alcohol, I threw away what was left."

Elide smiled at him with watery eyes, trying to change the subject as fast as possible, "If you need anything, you can always come to our place. You know that. We have-"

He interrupted her abruptly. He didn't look at her as he said in a harsh tone, "Thank you for everything, you can go now."

She took a sharp breath, nodding dryly and turning, hurrying out of the house. Lorcan followed her with his gaze the whole time, telling her he would join her in the car in a moment.

When he met Rowan's gaze again, the voice was the one he'd used all the years in high school when he'd been his captain. It gave no room for argument.

"I don't know what you're going through. I don't even want to begin to think about how painful it is to lose someone so important."

She didn’t die, he wanted to say. She left me.

I gave up on her. I don’t deserve her.

The steel mask Rowan was wearing seemed to be already starting to crack. He needed Lorcan to leave before he couldn't control his emotions.

He had already done too much for him.

He didn't deserve any of what they were offering him. He didn’t deserve anything.

"I can hardly imagine what I would do if I were in your position. If Elide-" he paused, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry, for what's happening. It's not easy, I understand, but whatever you're doing right now, it's not the solution. Treating me and Elide like this isn't going to drive us away, and before you tell me you don't need anything, let me just say that finding you lying in a pool of your own vomit completely hammered, out of your mind was one of the most horrifying things I've ever had to see." he took a step forward, placing a hand on Rowan's shoulder.

He had the instinct to pull away, but the grip on his jacket tightened, pinning him in place.

"I'm not letting you go, okay? I'm not going to let you throw away your career like this," he told him, looking him straight in the eye. "I'm not going to lecture you about what happened the other day. I know I would have done a lot worse, but you have to promise me that it won't happen again."

Lorcan's voice faltered at last and Rowan was surprised to see his eyes glaze over.

He nodded, his mouth slightly open, shocked at his friend's reaction.

"Promise me."

He hurried to whisper, "I promise."

Lorcan nodded, pulling Rowan to him and hugging him. He closed his eyes as the man in front of him held him together without even realising.

When they pulled away, they pretended not to hear the way they were sniffing, or the tears on both men's cheeks. They said a simple goodbye and then Rowan was alone.

Again.

He climbed the stairs slowly, walking like a dead man down the corridor filled with memories of him carrying Aelin in his arms on that very floor, and when he reached the door to their room, he hesitated.

He brushed against the knob, gripping it in his hand.

He stared at the wood in front of him and felt panic assail him.

Rowan turned on his heel, running for the stairs, the exit, hoping that Lorcan had not already left.

He threw open the door of the ghost-filled house and ran out, intent on never returning.

***

It was two weeks after Aelin left their home. Eleven days since he'd run away in a panic. Ten days since Lorcan had convinced Rowan to go back there, at least to pack up his things.

Nine days since Rowan had destroyed their room, screaming and sobbing as he tore the curtains from the windows and threw what little of her he had left against the wall.

Every ornament, every picture frame.

He'd screamed at Lorcan when he'd tried to stop it.

He hadn't succeeded. Rowan had razed their home to the ground, shattering every happy memory they had created over the years in those four walls.

Only when he'd found Aelin's ring had he stopped, bursting into tears so loud that the first sob had startled Lorcan, holding the small object to his chest.

They had gone back to Lorcan’s, and Elide had stood there looking at him with wide eyes, before running to get the first aid kit to clean the wounds Rowan had caused himself. More or less deep cuts, which his friends said should have been stitched up by actual doctors, but Rowan doubted they wouldn't lock him up in the psychiatric ward if he went to the emergency room for the sixth time in such a short time.

Especially if he came in with shards of glass between his fingers.

He hadn't kept his promise to Lorcan.

He'd drank again. He'd gotten into a couple of fights. He hadn't been back to the rink.

He hadn't skated in a fortnight. Longest period of his life off the ice.

But he couldn't do it.

He couldn't do anything. And it was all his fault.

***

It was three months and one day after Aelin had left their home. He had called Lysandra every day since Lorcan had forced him out of his and Elide's house, finding him a place right outside their team's arena. The woman had never given him any real answers, only reassuring him that Aelin was fine and that he should start moving on, too.

That too had broken something inside of him. The implications that Aelin had found someone else.

He couldn’t even bare being in the same room as another woman knowing they’d all be looking at him trying to get in his pants.

Aelin had always been the only one who wanted him for who he truly was, not his money. Not his status.

She had wished all those things gone so many times.

And she had left him.

He had let her go.

The team had sent a physiotherapist to his house every day for the first month, and then every week, accompanied by a shrink. Rowan had managed to drain them all. One after the other.

He was sure Lorcan had lost all hope too, but he continued undaunted to help him, going to his house every day after practice, without ever missing one day.

Rowan knew that Aelin had called him one night, almost a month before. Lorcan had told him, how she had begged him to tell her that he was alright, even though it wasn't true. His friend had also told him that she'd seemed to be drunk, and when she had hung up and both he and Elide had tried to call her back, Aelin had blocked their numbers.

From what he knew, she'd only unblocked Elide's, but she hadn't given him any kind of information about Aelin and he knew she'd never say anything.

He had hurt her - Elide. Rowan knew he'd treated her like little more than trash, both her and Lorcan, but however much he'd hurt her, it didn't seem to bother him in the slightest.

He should have felt something for his friends who had given him everything in the last period, but Rowan could not care less than what they had to go through for him.

Now he was waiting for Lorcan, sitting at the table, to show him he was alright. Putting on his daily show and reassuring his friend that everything was going great, he just wasn't ready to skate again yet. The other one would look at him, yell at him a few minutes before walking out of his miserably empty flat slamming the door.

Rowan was just waiting for the day when he wouldn't show up or when he would tell him he wasn't coming, saying goodbye one last time.

He knew it would happen, one way or another, and Rowan didn't know how to stop the mess that had become his life.

That day it wasn't Lorcan who entered his house, but someone else. Rowan opened the door and saw his agent, his team president, and his coaches, along with the athletic trainers.

They had given him an ultimatum.

Either you go back to slacking off after Christmas break or we break your contract, you're off the team and you lose lots of money.

The president had been particularly emphatic on the subject of money, but for Rowan that would be the least important thing.

It wasn't until the evening after New Year's Eve that he had made a decision.

Lysandra, whom he hadn't seen in person in more than two months, had entered his house looking like someone who hadn't slept in years. She had forced him out of bed, shouting at him to wash up, to clean his house. She had made it so Rowan couldn't talk back, never letting him speak, pushing him left and right.

She had taken him outside, something he hadn't done in weeks, so much so that the sun had hurt his eyes for the first two hours. She had forced him to buy new clothes and all the missing furniture in his house.

She had stayed with him for three days.

Three extremely long days in which she had swore at him, insulted him in every possible way imaginable by the human mind. They'd nearly come to blows when she'd touched a sore spot and Rowan had threatened to call Aedion to haul her away.

She'd dragged him to the party Fenrys had thrown for the New Year and for the first time in months, Rowan had smiled.

Elide had started crying when she'd seen him, Lorcan on the verge of tears as well. They had both hugged him and Rowan had begged for their forgiveness.

That night, Rowan thought things would be different for him for the first time.

He'd been wrong.

Again.

***

It was four years and twenty-seven days after Aelin had left their home. Four years since he had received no news of her. Three years since he stopped asking.

Rowan had been zapping through channels for so many hours now that the glaring light of the TV didn't even bother him anymore. His eyes were slightly glazed over as he stared at the screen, not really looking at the images in front of him. He caught a glimpse of a sentence here and there, ignoring the constant tinkle coming from his phone that warned him that Lorcan still didn't give up on talking to him every day from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to sleep. Even when he was on holiday with his now wife.

They had won yet another cup. The third win in a row.

Sometimes Rowan could hardly believe it.

Three Stanley Cups.

On his dream team.

He should have been excited. No, not excited.

He should have been the happiest man on earth. He should have been out celebrating with his teammates, vacationing on a tropical beach like Lorcan was doing, surrounding himself with girls ready to offer him anything to spend even just one night with him.

But Rowan didn't want to.

Rowan felt nothing – he had not felt anything in the last few years of his life. How did he expect to start now? For a measly win.

He hated hockey. He hated the sport. Hated the fans, his teammates.

He hated his life.

He was about to turn off the TV, confident that he would be able to sleep tonight without the help of the meds the team kept giving him to keep him from collapsing during the games, when his finger froze on the remote.

He didn't know what he was watching, but it seemed to be a channel about gossip, and Rowan felt a pang of anger well up in his chest. It seemed to be the only emotion he still felt from time to time.

Shocked and pissed that someone had felt the need to devote an entire channel to minding other people's business, he stood up, ready to pass out in his cold bed, when the words of the man on the screen stopped him in his tracks.

"And now to the latest news, straight from the social of the Toronto Maple Leafs' rookie player, Chaol Westfall, who has announced his marriage to the stunningly beautiful girlfriend, Aelin Galathynius. She has never been very active on social media, in fact, for somebody with such a charm, she'd be perfect in the role of influencer, but-"

Rowan stopped hearing.

He felt his body's reaction in time, and rushing to the kitchen, he managed to get everything his body was rejecting in the sink. He heaved in there till the last bit of what he’d eaten a few hours ago.

His heart was racing and he had to grip the counter to keep from kneeling on the floor.

That couldn’t be true.

Aelin was getting married.

Aelin was getting married to an hockey player.

The anger blinded him as her words flashed before his eyes.

I can’t do this anymore.

I’m weak. I’m so tired.

This isn’t the life I wanted for us.

I wish I could be your “’till death do us apart”, but I can’t.

The sound that came out of him was not human as he ran to his room and snatched the ring from the drawer next to his bed, the letter that just went wherever he went and raced out of the flat that never felt his own anyway.

***

It was four years and thirty days after Aelin had left their home.

Rowan stood in front of the journalists. Everyone was gaping at him, his teammates on the sidelines were looking his way as if he’d grown three heads.

And he couldn’t blame them, but he had needed to do this a long time ago.

He’d talked to his agents, the team’s president, everyone he had needed to to make this happen and he hadn’t felt such freedom in so long.

The questions just kept on coming and coming and he couldn’t distinguish the words. But he didn’t care.

He only needed to make this statement in front of everyone.

“I’m aware that leaving this team right now is a foolish and completely insane idea, but this world has taken too much from me already. My contract with the Senators ended with this season and I know everyone was expecting me to say which team I’m heading off to, but I’m quitting.

“I should have done this a long time ago and I’m sure the person this is for won’t even see this interview, but I love someone who thought she wasn’t enough for me. She told me four years ago her love wasn’t enough. I’m leaving cause hockey has not been a source of happiness in a very long time and it ruined everything good I ever had.

“I thought I loved playing cause of the adrenaline. The pride in a win. The chills when you score. But no, it wasn't that.”

I loved seeing her smile whenever I scored for her. The way she used to put medications on my wounds and bruises whenever I got hit too hard. Or the way we used to get all cuddled up after a long flight, after weeks of not seeing each other. I loved how my jerseys fit her – the way my clothes fit her.

He turned to his teammates, the people he owned a lot but couldn’t bring himself to care enough of to stay with them, “Being on this team would only make it worse. I’m sorry guys, I hope you can understand. This isn’t what I want right now.”

And right before he could get off the stage that had been set up for him, someone screamed from the crown.

“What are you going to do now?”

He didn’t stop to reply, avoiding everyone’s gazes and keeping on walking until he reached the exit of the arena. The chill air hit him hard as he went out on the street and got on the car.

This was the last time he’d be able to use one of the team’s cars.

The driver looked at him in the mirror, “Where to?”

“The airport, please.”

The man nodded and started the engine and Rowan felt something he hadn’t felt in years.

Hope.

Now, I’m going to get her.

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[leiawritesstories]

LEIA CONGRATS ON 500 🥳🎉🎉💓❤️💘❤️💖🩷💓🩷💞❤️💖

you know what my prompt is 🤭

THANK YOU SO MUCH MARIA MY LOVE 🥰💕❤️😁😍

context: maria and my dm's are insanely chaotic. somehow we were talking about almond milk? and one of the things she sent me went like this: "now i need a fic where rowan's a foreigner learning the common tongue and he asks aelin for some nut milk." that's the prompt hehehehehe

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: inappropriate jokes, swearing, innuendo, badly concealed horniness

Enjoy!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Romance books were horrible liars, it turned out.

Not a single one of the many, many romances Aelin had read in her lifetime had prepared her to meet the love of her life in a random aisle in a grocery store. No, all the books she read either involved small town meet-cutes, dreamy historical romances, arranged marriages that became love matches, and the occasional toe-curling bodice ripper. Love In Aisle 24B? She was convinced that would never happen.

Yet here she was, hand in hand with a man who was every single one of her dreams brought to life, leading him into her house.

But she was getting ahead of herself. Where to begin....?

~

Rice, flour, spinach, carrots, hot cocoa mix, espresso pods, almond milk. That was Aelin's list for her quick stop at the grocery store on her way home from work. She loathed shopping at five PM, knowing that the place would be overrun with harried parents, just-off-the-clock workers, and every single person in the vicinity who'd opened their fridge and realized they needed food for dinner.

Luckily, a parking spot opened up just as Aelin pulled into the parking lot, and she waved gratefully at the mom in the minivan who'd just vacated a spot that wasn't terribly far from the store entrance. She parked, got out, locked the car, and steeled herself for the chaos of dinner-crowd shoppers. It's just a quick trip, she reassured herself as she strode through the parking lot. Fifteen minutes, tops.

Entering the crowded store, she grabbed a basket and headed for the produce section, easily finding the spinach and carrots. Check, check. She wove through the maze of people and carts, muffling more than one curse, and ducked down an aisle to grab a bag of rice. Check. The baking supplies aisle was mercifully much emptier, and she found the brand of flour she liked and placed the familiar paper sack into her basket. Check. Hot cocoa mix was only a few paces away--and no, she didn't care that it was impractical for the late spring. It was always hot cocoa weather at Aelin Galathynius's house.

She braced herself as she stepped into the coffee and tea aisle and found it far too heavily occupied for her liking. Rolling her eyes, she decided to go grab almond milk and loop back to pick up espresso pods on her way to the checkout lines. Those would probably be their own nightmare, but she'd deal with that when the time came.

Aelin dodged shoppers pushing overfull carts and mothers desperately trying to keep a hand on their rambunctious children and made her way to the aisle with the non-dairy milk. Blessedly, it was empty, and she strode over to the almond milk section, found her favorite brand, and placed three cartons in her basket because it was on sale. She paused for a moment at the end of the aisle, sighed, and trudged back towards the coffee.

Just as she was about to turn into the coffee aisle, a hand tapped politely at her shoulder. "Excuse me?"

She turned, finding herself face to face--well, almost, since he was a good six inches taller than her--with a mouthwateringly gorgeous man wearing a shy half-smile. "Yes?"

"I do not mean rude, but you have the..." The man pronounced the words carefully, his voice bearing a distinctly foreign accent. Clearly he was still learning the language of Terrasen. "The...meelk? The milk! Milk of the nut."

Aelin spluttered a cough, stuffing down the lewd comment she immediately wanted to make. "I--um...I'm so sorry, I have the what?"

The man blushed, only making him more endearing. He pointed to the almond milk in her basket. "The nut meelk."

Understanding clicked in her brain. "Oh! The almond milk." She enunciated the words carefully.

"Al-mond meelk," he repeated, smiling in earnest. "Thank you, ma'am." He gave her an eccentric little dip of his head. "Please, show me where to find?"

"Of course!" Smiling back at him, she led him to the non-dairy milk aisle. "Here it is." She showed him the brand she bought. "I like this brand, but there are more options here."

The man picked up a carton of the same brand she bought; it looked comically small in his large hand. "Thank you," he said again, relief coating his accented words.

She grinned. "You're welcome..." She let the pause trail on, hoping he would give her his name.

"Pardon!" he exclaimed, then mumbled a few words in his native tongue. "I am such rude. I am Rowan."

"So rude," Aelin instinctively corrected. "We say so rude." She shook his offered hand. "My name is Aelin."

"Aelin," Rowan repeated, the syllables of her name turning thick and sweet as honey on his accented tongue.

Her blood turned to fire at the sound of his voice.

"Gods," she gasped, glancing at her watch. "I really need to get home, this was just supposed to be a quick trip."

Rowan stepped aside so she had a clear path. "Do not let me stop you," he grinned. "Thank you again, Aelin."

"You're very welcome, Rowan." Flashing him another grin, she headed towards the checkout counters, pausing briefly to grab espresso pods. The checkout lines were unbearably long, so she joined the much shorter line for self-checkout, waited for a few minutes, and went up to the machine when it was her turn. Efficiently, she scanned her items, placed them in her shopping bag, paid, and tore the receipt from the printer.

She was nearly out of the store when a commotion at the self-checkout caught her attention.

"I--I not understand!" Oh gods, that was Rowan's unmistakable accent. "No money?"

"Sir," the store employee all but snapped, "the sign says 'card only.' Can you even read?"

Rowan faltered. "I--"

"Show some decency," Aelin drawled, calmly stepping between Rowan and the irritated teenage employee who looked like he'd rather be anywhere else. "You should be able to tell from the man's accent that he's not from here."

"Well--um--" The teenager floundered. "Look, I'm not--"

"Capable? That much is clear," Aelin scoffed. "I'll help Rowan here finish checking out, and you can run along back to restocking ketchup or whatever the hell else you do." Turning to Rowan, she explained, "This machine only has a card reader. Do you have a credit card?"

Softly, he murmured, "No, not in wallet."

"It's all right," she reassured him. "I'll pay."

"You no need--"

"Don't worry about it." Aelin tapped her credit card on the card reader, took the receipt, and handed it to Rowan. "There. Quick and easy."

He picked up his almond milk--the only thing he'd had to buy--and followed her out of the store. As soon as they stepped into the parking lot, he swiped her bag of groceries from her, laughing at her shocked protest. "Let me, let me," he said. "As thank you."

"Such a gentleman," she teased. "All right then, you can carry my groceries to my car." He walked beside her through the parking lot, waited for her to unlock her car, and then carefully deposited her groceries on the back seat. "Thanks, Rowan," she smiled, truly meaning it. A thought flashed through her head. "I'm sorry if this is rude, but...do you have a car? Or how else are you getting home?"

He shook his head. "My..." He spoke a word in his language. "Not know how to say. Like brother, but...of father's brother?"

"Your cousin?"

"Aye, my cousin. He has the car. I took bus from apartment to store."

"Can I drive you home?" she asked.

Color splashed across his cheeks. "No need, please, I will take--"

"The bus is never on time during evening rush hour, and you'll get stuck in traffic when it does show up," she snorted. "I promise I'm a safe driver, Rowan, and before you pull your stupid chivalrous act, no, it's not too much trouble." She leaned against her car. "I live here. I can drive you home without getting stuck in terrible amounts of traffic."

He folded. "Okay. I will drive with you."

His oddly formal language made her smile. "You're rather cute with your blush and your accent, y'know, Rowan," she teased.

"Cute?" Impossibly, Rowan blushed harder. "If I am cute, Aelin, then you are perfect beauty."

That fire in her blood burned brighter. "I'll show you beauty," she murmured, more to herself than to him.

Buckling his seatbelt with ease, he leaned over and whispered in his language into her ear. Though she couldn't understand him, she knew the thickness of his voice had nothing to do with the words he was saying. "Was that a promise, Rowan?"

His emerald eyes deepened to smoky pine. "Yes." As she started the car and reversed out of her parking spot, his hand drifted casually--naturally--to her thigh, its weight warm, welcome, and teasing.

She was in such deep shit.

~

Instead of asking Rowan for his address, Aelin asked if he was okay coming to her house, and when he breathed another Yes into her ear, this time pairing it with the faintest brush of a kiss on the side of her neck, she shivered and headed home as fast as she legally could. She parked, got out, grabbed her groceries before he could insist on carrying them into the house, and took the bag inside, placing it on the counter.

Rowan hadn't followed.

So she went back out to the car, walking around to the passenger side. "Rowan? Is everything okay?"

He nodded. "So okay," he promised. "I...I needed a breath."

The corners of her lips quirked up. "Can I show you my house?" Feeling bold, she linked her fingers with his. "The kitchen, the living room..." A pause. "My bedroom."

That got him out of the car and on his feet, a smirk tinged with desire curling his lips. "Please do."

She led him up the front steps and into her house, kicking off her shoes in the entryway. "The kitchen is right here, if you wanted to know." She gestured to her left. "You can put your almond milk on the counter." And put your rowillymilk in me, she added under her breath.

He left the carton on the counter, slid his arm around her waist, and leaned down to kiss her. Aelin rose onto her tiptoes to meet his lips, the kiss starting soft and quickly turning deeper, passionate, filled with the inexplicable desire that crackled between them. Effortlessly, Rowan lifted her into his arms, not breaking the kiss as he took a couple of steps and stopped, remembering he didn't know where anything was. He pulled away, breathless.

"Aelin--"

"Upstairs," she panted, her chest heaving. "Come here."

And she led him up the stairs and into her room and kicked the door shut behind them.

~~~

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[shyvioletcat]

Set Up - Part 6

A/N: Well, well, well... here we are again. I won't ramble, but let's thank Rowaelin Month and @rowaelinscourt for prompting the completion of this chapter. BUT PLEASE NOTE TAGS ARE NOT WORKING

CW: Mild swearing and smut, of course

~ Set Up Masterlist ~

~~~~~

This time being apart felt different. Maybe seeing so much of each other had ruined what had been enjoying in such a carefree way for so long. Now, whenever Aelin thought of Rowan something twisted in her chest. That week brought them closer than they’d been in a long time and highlighted some things Aelin was missing in her life. 

A boyfriend was the simplest way to put it, delving further would only lead to questions Aelin did not want to answer. She was being dramatic, due to her recent bout of being alone no doubt. Spending all that time together had left her spoiled and craving more. Rowan wasn’t the answer and not a consolation for her loneliness. He deserved better than that, better than her. He’d always talked about wanting a perfect little life, with a family and white picket fence to boot. Aelin couldn’t give him that. Their lives had split down two different paths that only crossed whenever fate was kind. For all parties involved it was the best way to leave. It was just fortunate that they had been found out. 

Aelin had spent nearly a month screening her calls and messages from nearly everyone outside of work. Even though she had explicitly told her mother she didn’t want to talk about the situation between her and Rowan, Evalin Ashryver Galathynius was never one to give up. The innocent calls and texts that asked about work and how Aelin was doing always seemed to take a turn in his direction. It had got to the point that she just completely ignored any mention of relationship related things. Even her dad who tended to keep neutral ground had dropped a few hints here and there. 

By far Aedion was the worst, mainly because he had gone and opened his fat mouth and blabbed to Lysandra about what he had seen. Her best friend turned cousin’s girlfriend had been begging for details, some of the obscene kind. Aelin had given over a few, just to placate her but then refused anymore. The more information she gave, the more likely it was to be used against her. 

The hardest contact to filter through had been Rowan’s. There had been an obvious shift when it came to him and it was confusing to say the least. Aelin didn’t know if it was because they had been found out or if there had been a change in their dynamic, or if it was as simple as her missing him. Whatever it was, Aelin found herself pulling away. Rowan’s texts weren’t anything out of the ordinary. He sent through casual enquiries about how she was doing, frustrations about work and funny pictures to make her laugh. Aelin wasn’t replying as much as she usually did, but hopefully Rowan didn’t notice. He didn’t deserve to suffer for whatever was going on in Aelin’s head. 

What had heightened every uncomfortable aspect was that work had been godsdamned awful. They had launched into planning the peak event season and everyone was working their asses off trying to come up with fresh ideas for the companies who employed them. Aelin was exhausted and left with very little brain power once she left work. She was drained and didn’t need work fraying the remaining threads of her personal life. 

Aelin was in the middle of decompressing, sprawled out on her bed and eating an unhealthy amount of chocolate. Since arriving home maybe half an hour ago she had steadily paced herself and only eaten half a block while she mindlessly scrolled through videos on social media. If cute animals and spicy book snippets hadn’t been there to distract her she might have downed the entire thing by now and felt sick for her reckless efforts. When a call for a video chat flashed up on her screen Aelin nearly dropped her phone right on her face. 

Once the risk of injury was removed Aelin registered who was calling. It was Elide, someone who wouldn’t be full of prying questions which was a welcome relief. Aelin hit the accept button before it rang out.

“Hello, hello,” Aelin said, trying to sound cheerful but it didn’t quite get there. 

“Good evening, I need your help.” Trust Elide to cut straight to the point. 

“With what?” With her interest piqued, Aelin sat up.

“I have a date and I don’t know what to wear,” Elide said. 

“Ah, okay. Show me your options.”

This was a common occurrence and Aelin waited as Elide set her phone up to get a full body angle. She disappeared from the frame for a moment before returning, dressed in a fluffy robe and holding three outfits on coat hangers. 

“Option one,” Elide held up a knee length, dark purple dress to her body. “Two.” The second dress was all black and form fitting. It was one of Elide’s riskier outfits and she almost hadn’t bought it, and it took both Aelin and Lysandra insisting she looked drop dead gorgeous in it for her to buy it. “And three.” Dress three was in light blue with a fitted bodice and puffy sleeves.

“Okay, these are three completely different vibes. What are we actually going for?” Aelin asked.

With a heavy sigh, Elide sank onto her bed. “I don’t know.”

She tried the pragmatic approach. “Well, what are you doing?”

“Dinner first, and then we’re going to the movies. But the fancy ones with the recliners,” Elide explained. 

“Option two is out because half the night he won’t even be able to see it and it’s a waste of an outfit,” Aelin said.

“But I look so good in it,” Elide protested.

“Yes, that’s why it’s worth saving,” Aelin rebutted. 

“Okay, you’re right. So, purple or blue?” Elide held up the remaining options. 

Aelin thought for a moment, eyes darting between the two dresses. “Purple. The blue is a little short and you don't want that scratchy fabric on your thighs.”

“Gods, you’re right,” Elide said. “This is why we’re friends.”

Aelin laughed. “The only reason. So, who is this hot date?”

At this distance from the camera it was hard to tell but Aelin could have sworn Elide blushed. “We’ll see how this date goes and then I’ll tell you.”

“Elide Lochan, a woman of mystery,” Aelin teased. 

“Stay on while I get dressed,” Elide said, disappearing from view. “We haven’t caught up in a hot minute.”

“We haven’t.” The air left Aelin’s lungs as she heavily flopped down on the bed. “I’ve been so busy with work and stuff I just feel like I have no time.”

“Aw, sweetie. That sounds like no fun at all,” Elide’s voice was full of sympathy. 

Aelin left out the constant badgering of her family and the extra weight that was adding to everything, and also the weird sense of loneliness she hadn’t felt since she had first moved to Rifthold. Those were things she didn’t want her overly perceptive friend’s commentary on. 

“You’ll have to have enough fun for the two of us,” Aelin said. She was about to complain about work some more when a message popped up at the top of her screen. Her heart skipped, or maybe it was her stomach, it happened so suddenly Aelin couldn’t determine which part of her body was doing summersaults. The text was short and succinct, and so perfectly Rowan. 

>> I’m coming to Rifthold this weekend. See you then. 

He would be in her city, in less than 48 hours. Like always, there was no question of whether or not they would see each other. They had been at this for so long it was presumed without question for them to meet up and do what they did best. A text like this usually led to excitement and thrilling anticipation, and that was there. Except this time there was a little bit of trepidation sneaking in as well. 

“What’s that face?” Elide’s question cut through Aelin’s thoughts. 

“Huh?” 

Elide’s face took up the screen, a dark brow raised in question. “The face you’re making right now. What’s that about?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” Aelin tried to assure her.

“Spill, Aelin,” Eldie demanded. 

Aelin considered the benefits of divulging just a little bit to Elide. It might just relieve a little bit of pressure that keeping all this to herself was building up. She didn’t have to admit to what she and Rowan got up to, maybe she could just circle around the set up they’d been subjected to. 

“I just got a message from Rowan,” Aelin said. “He’s coming this weekend.”

“Oh, good,” Elide sounded downright gleeful. “Maybe getting laid will help with some stress relief.”

Aelin laughed until she realised what her friend had said. “What?”

“Work won’t seem like the worst thing in the world while Rowan is blowing—’’

Aelin shot straight up. “Wait, you know? How? Who told you?” 

Dark eyes stared through the screen. “You’re not as subtle as you think you are. No one told, I just found it really weird that at the bar Rowan came back from the bathrooms with a massive hard-on and you followed after him two seconds later.”

“I…” for a moment Aelin was at a loss for words. “You couldn’t have seen that.”

“True,” Elide said with a shrug. “But his face certainly looked like he had one.”

Aelin wanted to bury her face in her pillow. “Who else noticed?”

“Our friends, bar myself, are not as observant as you’re giving them credit for,” Elide assured her. “I was going to wait for you to tell me, but I jumped the gun because that look on your face doesn’t look like pure excitement.”

“It’s complicated,” Aelin admitted.  

Elide scoffed. “Yeah, banging your best friend usually is.”

“It was all fine and dandy until this last trip, we saw each other way more than we usually do and our mothers very insistently tried to set us up on more than one occasion. So things were different, and I don’t know… I think I miss him. More than any other time before.”

That was it, she missed him, that’s all there was to it. Saying it aloud solidified the thought in her mind. The hesitation came from the fact this visit was happening so soon. Usually it was months before they saw each other, their travelling for work between cities wasn't frequent. Too much time together on this last trip was to blame for everything. There were too many heightened emotions and now they were lingering and causing trouble. Why couldn’t they just keep things as they were? Simple, easy, no pesky strings attached. 

“So…” Elide hedged, “you’ll be telling him no this time?”

Aelin considered it for a moment. She could just say she already had plans because it was so last minute. That would give her the distance that she probably needed to start thinking clearly again. But with Rowan in the same city, could she really bring herself to stay away?

“No, I’ll see him,” Aelin decided. “It would be weird if I didn’t. And you’re right, maybe a little bit of recreational sexual activities will help with the stress.”

“And you’ll stop missing him,” Elide added. “For the time being, at least.”

Aelin nodded. “True. Well, I won’t keep you from your date any longer, but I want you to know I’m slightly insulted that you won’t tell me who it is.”

“You’ll get over it. I love you,” Elide said in that brutally succinct way of hers.

“I love you too,” Aelin said through her laughter. “Have fun.”

They both said a final goodbye and Aelin hung up. A new feeling of clarity settled over her. All this turmoil over Rowan was pointless. All it really came down to was that during their last set of rendezvous Aelin had been spoiled for company and now she was just dealing with going without. She was overreacting and she blamed work and meddlesome relatives not giving her a moment’s peace. Work she couldn’t do much about besides just getting it done. But she’d be having words with her mother about how butting into her love life was well and truly off the table. Especially if it was going to do a number on brain like this, not if it was going to ruin the friendship she valued most. What she and Rowan had was perfect the way it was—it was exactly what the two of them needed. It was up to Aelin to ignore everything else to keep it that way. 

~~~~~

Rowan was a desperate man. He had hounded his boss from the moment Aelin left for some opportunity to be sent to Rifthold. He was knocked back so many times that he’d been trawling through commissions himself to find just the slightest excuse. When he got the call that one of the museums in Rifthold they worked with needed a consult Rowan was thrown the job out of pity. Or maybe it was to get him to shut up.

In the end, Rowan couldn’t care less. He was going Orynth, and he was so caught up on the fact that he would be seeing Aelin again that work hardly mattered to him. Aelin was all he cared about. Telling her how he felt was more important than an upgrade to the mediaeval wing of the museum. 

Nearly every night since she’d left he had to talk himself down from booking his own ticket and flying out. That wasn’t the way they did things and Rowan had no idea what Aelin felt. if he showed up out of the blue there was a decent chance he would scare her or himself off. As tempted as he was to make some big grand gesture, there was too much history between them for that kind of action. There were obstacles and things they would need to sort out before they moved forward, none of which would be easily overcome. Their situation was complicated, and complicated required caution. Rowan had to convince himself more than once that keeping it business as usual was the best choice.

All those semi sleepless nights didn’t matter now, because at this very moment he was checking into his hotel room. It was late Friday evening, the trip was so sudden that he had to leave after work. Rowan would spend Saturday meeting with whoever it was at the museum he needed and then he would be able to see Aelin. His lack of focus was a serious indicator for how flippant he’d become over this particular job. Any other time he’d have the client’s names memorised, would have gone over his notes and designs a hundred times. Instead he’d spent most of his time looking at his phone waiting to see what Aelin had to say. 

She’d agreed to meet up but had let him know that work had been insane and things might be a little up in the air. Rowan didn’t mind in the slightest. All that mattered was talking to Aelin and he was determined that this would be the trip to do it. There was no more wasted time, he was in love with her and it was as simple as that.  

The daylight hours of Saturday were all but meaningless. Rowan managed to keep himself professional for when he needed to and presented his plans without flourish. After that he returned to his room and became no better than a teenager—phone in hand and eyes glued to it. He tried not to get too disappointed every time that Aelin pushed back their meet up time to a little later. At first they were meant to meet before dinner, and then it was for dinner. Rowan was about to leave for the restaurant when a text came in with a heartfelt apology from Aelin saying that she wouldn’t make it. His heart had stopped in his chest because he thought she was cancelling altogether, but she finished off with a promise she’d come to him and to just send her the address. 

Rowan had done exactly that and ordered in. He tried to watch TV while he waited. The channels were limited and he couldn’t be bothered to go through the whole process of logging into a streaming service, so he just let a renovation show play while he ran through everything he needed to say to Aelin. He debated back and forth over the merits of starting with I love you and going from there. This current round he was against it, a case of too much too soon. There was still the unanswered question of how Aelin felt and that was what the axis of his entire future existence spun on. 

And then finally there was a knock on his door.

Launching would be the best way to describe Rowan’s departure from the bed. It was a single room accommodation, with a bed, desk and small attached bathroom, so it was only a matter of seconds until he had his hand on the door handle. Rowan took in one deep breath to ready himself, swinging the door open and he found her.

Aelin stood there, a tired smile on her face and still dressed in her work clothes. She had a large bag over her shoulder that most likely contained clothes for the night. As Rowan looked at her now, taking in every inch of her, he wondered how he had been able to suppress his feelings for so long.

“You gonna let me in, hotshot?” Aelin asked, a hand rising to her hip. “Or am I booking my own room?”

“Yeah, sorry.” Rowan stepped aside, hoping he didn’t come across as awkward as he suddenly felt.

Aelin gave him a look like she might be questioning his sanity before walking into his room. Rowan shut the door behind her and withheld the need to hold her—to kiss her senseless and confess every little thing that had built up over these weeks apart. She stopped by the little table, picking at his leftover pizza. 

“Do you mind if I use your shower? I feel a little gross after such a long day,” Aelin said, chewing over a piece of pepperoni.

“Of course,” Rowan said, gesturing at the bathroom door. 

Aelin disappeared a moment later and once again Rowan had to wait. The buzz of the shower added to the sounds of the TV, and he didn’t bother to change the volume. He didn’t care about the clashing wallpaper or bedding choices. Rowan just lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling fan. Last time he’d seen one of these in a hotel room his pants had ended hanging over it. He didn’t know whether he should be hoping for a repeat performance or not. 

The shower shut off and Rowan’s body thrummed with anticipation. Soon enough Aelin would be here, in his arms, and he could admit to how he felt. They could talk and they would figure out some way to make their situation work. The door creaked open after what seemed like a lifetime and Rowan sat up. Aelin stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in an oversized t-shirt with her damp hair loose around her shoulders. She’d washed off all her make-up, but she wasn’t any less beautiful.

“Work has been the worst,” Aelin nearly groaned, heading to the minibar and pulling out a bottle of beer. “I know this will cost you like $50 so I’ll pay you back.”

“It’s fine,” Rowan said, he’d give her just about anything right now if she asked for it. 

Aelin took a few decent mouthfuls then left it on the table along with the pizza. Then she stalked over to him, stopping right in between his knees. Her hands rested on his shoulders, fingers playing with the ends of his hair. 

“Aelin,” it felt so good to just say her name, to see her face soften just the slightest when he did. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Rowan’s breath caught as Aelin brought her body flush against his. The fingers in his hair tightened, angling his face upwards so he could watch her whisper, “I don’t want to talk.”

She kissed him and Rowan could never deny her. After what must have been a hellish day this is what Aelin needed from him. To be touched and made to forget about the world outside this hotel room. Rowan could give her that—gladly. And he just told himself the same thing he’d been repeating over the last few weeks. He could wait a little longer. 

~~~~

Rowan’s lips were soft as they met her’s, and Aelin sighed at the feeling that swept through her body. His hands were a steadying and familiar weight on her waist. Sometimes it was a shock as to how big they were, it took her a moment to remember just how much of her they could touch at once. Those hands that were always gentle, always making her feel cherished in every caress, that was no different as he pulled her down into his lap. Aelin straddled his hips, thighs tightening as she felt him through his sweatpants. It was flattering that only a few kisses and fleeting touches were all it took for him to be so hard and ready for her. She was almost impatient enough to tug his sweatpants down to free his cock, riding him hard and fast. But then it would be over too soon and Aelin might just be too tired for another round. So, instead she’d let him draw this out like he’d like to do to make every moment count. 

This was exactly what she needed, a wonderful, all consuming distraction.

She whimpered as Rowan’s grip flexed on her waist, and then again when his hands travelled lower. In her overnight bag in the bathroom there was a nice little set she had planned on wearing but after a long soothing shower the idea was just too uncomfortable. So she’d gone without and as Rowan’s fingers dipped under the hem of her t-shirt he was about to discover how little she actually wore.

“Aelin,” he groaned as the pass over her hips revealed no trace of underwear. “You’re… I’ll never be able to explain it.”

He was rambling, and that was sweet, flattering even. But it wasn't nearly enough by a long shot. Aelin ground down on the hard length of him, using actions rather than words to beg for what she needed. Rowan got the hint. Holding her thighs he changed their positions, laying her softly down on the bed. They worked in sync, taking turns to remove each other’s clothes. Aelin ran her hands over exposed and heated skin, tracing over dips and curves she had memorised so many times before. 

“Touch me, Rowan,” Aelin said in between kisses.

Rowan didn’t answer, he only pushed up enough so that he could run a hand down her body right to the middle of her thighs. Aelin gasped as he teased her with sweeping passes of a knuckle over her centre, making her buck and writhe until his thumb pressed down on her clit. Her moan was next to nothing with Rowan’s mouth on her’s, only muffled and needy sounds escaped as they were smothered by kisses.  

Their first round after being apart was always frenzied, desperation dictating their actions. Aelin expected the same, but this wasn’t. Rowan was slow and thorough, with his lips and his fingers—it was a delicious kind of torture. One finger, and then a second, slipped into her while his thumb drew unhurried circles around her clit. Heat flooded Aelin’s cheeks as her body reacted to the touches that were both too much and not enough. He was keeping her right on the edge, waves of pleasure cresting but never breaking. 

When he did it again, her body tensed as it prepared to let go and Rowan stole it away, had Aelin nearly sobbed out of frustration. “Please, Rowan.”

Rowan kissed her lips, tongue sweeping into her mouth for a dirty kiss. “Please what, Aelin?”

There was a hint of sass to his voice, and by the gods did Aelin rise to the challenge. She hooked a knee over his hip, urging him down so their bodies were flush. When she returned the favour of a kiss she made sure to bite at his bottom lip. “Fuck me, Rowan.”

He didn’t need much more convincing than that. Moving his hand and with a subtle shift of his hips Rowan pushed in, taking his time. Aelin’s hips rolled, coaxing him deeper.

“You feel so perfect.” Rowan sounded relieved and a little overwhelmed. “Every time.”

He cursed colourfully as he pressed his face into the crook of her neck. Aelin couldn’t help it, she laughed, her reward was a bite—right where the juncture of her shoulder and neck. It had her moaning and arching into him. Rowan knew exactly where her buttons were and now she was panting with desperation for him to do something. Anything. 

Rowan didn’t make her wait, a hand high on her thigh kept her in place as he began thrusting. The angle of his cock was perfect, as it always was, and it led Aelin right into her greatest wish of the night. A beautiful distraction. Everything was Rowan, she was consumed by him. Their bodies moved synchronically, both wanting to give as much as the other. A hand that was not her own found Aelin’s breast, fingers rolling the hardened peak. 

“That’s it,” Rowan whispered into her ear, the softness of his voice raising goosebumps over her skin and heightening every sensation. “You want to come. You deserve it.”

That little bit of encouragement was all she needed. Aelin broke, pleasure overtaking every sense in her body. Rowan pressed soft kisses to the length on her neck and face. His hips kept moving, drawing out her orgasm as long as he could. After a few long, bliss filled moments Aelin’s awareness returned to her. 

“So beautiful,” Rowan all but hummed as his gaze swept over her, his next thrust sharper. 

She could feel that Rowan was close, so she guided his face back to her and kissed him. Rowan groaned, losing his rhythm but it still felt just as good, so much so Aelin could feel herself building up again. He pulled back enough to look at her face. Their eyes connected, Rowan’s green gaze holding an intensity that had Aelin flushing with something closer to embarrassment than desire. The eye contact—it was too much. There was something there she hadn’t seen before. Her brain was far too distracted to decipher it so she went with the easiest option to cope. 

“Gods, Rowan,” Aelin breathed, eyes fluttering shut, refocusing on how he felt on every inch of her skin.

“Open your eyes, love,” Rowan urged. He gave her a sweet kiss for extra encouragement. 

So caught up in him, Aelin couldn’t help but do as he asked. What she saw when she looked up at him had her heart pounding in her chest, a new wave of need crashing over her. It tipped her over the edge again, her body tightening before her core pulsed, bringing Rowan right along with her. He moaned deeply, the vibrations of it thrumming over her sensitive skin. Aelin clung to Rowan, waiting for her breathing to even out and sense to settle in her brain. She didn’t think she’d ever tire of sex with Rowan, nothing else even came close.

He had his forehead resting on her collarbone, just as wrecked as she was. Lips dragged over her skin and his next words were whispered right over her heart. “I love you,”

Aelin’s breath caught and those words registered in her blissed out brain, sobering her instantly. But it seemed Rowan hadn’t even noticed what he said, he just rolled to the side, letting Aelin escape to the bathroom. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest that she felt it in her throat, making her want to vomit. Aelin held back the impulse and cleaned up as quickly as she could. Diving into the overnight bag she had conveniently left in here after the shower Aelin pulled out clothes to put on. It was just an oversized sweater and leggings, but it would be enough to get her to her car.

Because she couldn’t stay here, not now that Rowan had gone and ruined everything. The easiest option was for her to leave, and quickly. If she stayed there might not be anything left of their relationship to salvage. Missing him was one thing, and then there was this. 

This was not what they were, they couldn’t be. It didn’t make sense. Why did Rowan have to go and ruin a perfectly good thing?

I love you.

Those three words echoed in her brain and did nothing to console her. Rowan couldn’t love her, she wasn’t what he needed or wanted. Not really. If he had the sense to really consider it he would know this wasn’t the right course for them. Aelin would give him the opportunity to do just that. She packed up the rest of her bag, so all she had to do was grab her purse and shoes and leave. 

Swallowing down against the tightness in her throat, Aelin opened the door and swept out with the shortest of glances in Rowan’s direction. He was splayed out on the bed looking like he was still recovering after the mind blowing sex. Aelin’s stomach gave a pang of regret when she realised this would be the last time. It would be cruel to put Rowan through any more of this when she didn’t feel the same. 

Aelin gathering up her things seemed to shake him from his daze and he raised himself up on his elbow. “What are you doing?”

She snatched up her purse and stepped around the table. “Leaving.”

“Why…” Rowan trailed off, then realisation dawned on him. “Aelin, wait. Don’t go, let me explain.”

“There’s no need,” Aelin said, slipping a foot into her kitten heel. Rowan went to get out of bed but she stopped him with a raised hand. “Don’t. Just stay there.”

Gods bless him, he did. She could always count on Rowan to respect boundaries.

“Stay, and we’ll talk,” Rowan nearly pleaded. 

“We’re friends, Rowan,” Aelin said, forcing every ounce of bravado into as she could. She even added a strained note of laughter. “That’s all we are and can be.”

“Friends don’t do this.”

Aelin’s head snapped up, it was all too easy to read the look of hurt and disappointment on his face. It wasn’t clear if he was talking about her behaviour in this moment or the casual fucking that they’d indulged in over the years, ending in the subsequent drama that had entangled them. Any way they looked at it, Aelin wasn’t staying for the clarification. She just slipped on the other shoe. 

“I’m going,” she said, rushing for the door. 

“Aelin—”

A glance over her shoulder told her he was making his move to get out of bed, denying her order to stay where he was. But it was too late—her hand was on the door knob. 

“Goodbye, Rowan.” 

Aelin twisted the handle, ignoring the rush of movement behind her and stepped out in the hallway. She thought it would be harder to not look back, but with every step he took away from that hotel room it only bolstered her resolve. They were better off like this, it was now up to Rowan to realise it. 

~~~~~

*smiling in delight but also I'm sorry*

[justreadertings]

also because ur the queen of headcanons i have one for you--

rowaelin in TDDUP most definitely train together when they can't sleep. they'll slip down to the training yard and spar, and it very often ends with one of them *pinned* and *spicy times* happen

oooohhhhh guess we'll have to wait and see....

[morganofthewildfire]

hello, i've recently finished throne of glass for the first time and i loved it and i love the fanfic I've been discovering!! since you seem to be very involved in this fandom (LOVE your stories 🥰) can you recommend other rowaelin writers please? thank you!! 🥰

Hi! Sorry it took me so long to get to this!! First off, welcome to the fandom!! I love to see new people enjoying the wonder that is throne of glass 😊 and thank you so much for the compliment!! I'm glad you've enjoyed my work ❤️

I definitely can recommend some other writers!!

@rowanaelinn has some absolutely amazing work! I adore Illicit Affairs and pretty much everything Ezra writes

@leiawritesstories is phenomenal, I personally recommend Fly The Black Flag, it's a pirate au featuring humor, angst, and horny pirates 🤭

@heirofflowers is absolutely wonderful! Easier Than Lying is an absolute masterpiece, and When in Wendlyn is heartfelt but hilarious at the same time!

@elentiyawhitethorn has some absolute delights, and if you're looking for some spicy smut, she's the person to go to!

I adore @tomtenadia and her work, A Little Braver is just so incredibly wonderful I can't get enough of it

@live-the-fangirl-life has the best fluff you will find around ❤️, so go there if you need a pick me up, but go to @shyvioletcat if you want some good angst, she's the queen of it 😂

@rowaelinrambling creates such captivating and intricate storylines, they're all so unique and phenomenal I don't know how she does it!!

Same with @writtenonreceipts , I still can't get enough of Runaways, it was one of the first fics I read and it's stuck with me to this day

And @westofmoon always paints such a vivid picture in her writing, it just really makes you feel like you're there ❤️

@whimsicallyreading is just impeccable! And she has one of my all time favorite oneshots: Just For Warmth ❤️ I will always recommend that one

@highqueenofelfhame has written so much, you can find a fic of hers for any mood you're in, and it's guaranteed to be wonderful 😍

@punkassbookjockey26 has some amazing fluff, and some heartcrushing angst, both absolutely wonderful

@justreadertings just started writing rowaelin and i don't understand how because it feels like she's been writing them for years she's so wonderful! Same with @backtobl4ck , I'm absolutely obsessed with both of them!

@house-of-galathynius has some stunning work, everything she's written is stunning, and is writing one of my current obsessions, Sacred Heart

and then of course @thewraithsofmorhogg ! Noisy Neighbors is the fic that first dragged me onto tumblr, and I've never gotten free of the hold that fic has on me (nor do I want to) ❤️

there's tons more writers too! I have a masterlist pinned on my blog of all the fics currently out on tumblr! (it needs to be updated) but I hope this helps!!

[manonblaqkbeak]

How We Met

here it is, my last fic for rowaelin month! thank you so much to everyone that’s read, liked and commented on my fics, it’s been so much fun reading and writing these last four weeks! i’m glad to know that i’m not the only one that is in dire need of more rowaelin content (srsly, i would pay sjm a truck load of money for a strictly rowaelin book bc i miss them sm)

here’s part 4 for the little series i had going on. i was so tempted to make this an angst piece but held back lol.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

cw: none

1.8k words

enjoy and thank you again!!! :) 💕💕💕💕

Gathering the ingredients for the cake that she and Ophelia were going to make for Rowan, Aelin plopped them down on the kitchen counter and tied her and her six year old daughters hair back. Even in the kitchen light, Ophelia's hair was a vivid shade of silver and when she turned to look at her mother, the golden ring in her eyes were just as bright.

“Up, mama!” Ophelia asked, pointing to the step ladder that Olive made for her little sister in her woodshop class at school. Getting it off from atop the fridge, Aelin and Ophelia started their baking session for today. It wasn't often that Aelin baked cakes from scratch but it wasn't every day that her firstborn turned sixteen—not that Aelin could really comprehend that her Olive was sixteen—but Aelin wanted to do this for her, wanted to make something special.

She hoped that it wasn't going to taste as bad as the last cake she baked. Rowan had been sick afterwards and didn't go to work the next day.

That was five years ago, so surely with gaining wisdom as people said when others got older, her baking skills grew too.

“Where did everyone go?” Ophelia asked, her little tongue poking out as she helped Aelin sift the flour.

“To get dinner for tonight. We're having Ollie's favourite.” Which was cuisine from the Southern Continent, there was a restaurant that specialised in the spicy food, and Aelin couldn't wait—she and Rowan often tried to recreate their favourite recipes, but it was never right, so Olive wanted to have the genuine stuff for her birthday and not her parents shoddy attempts.

Not that Aelin could blame her.

They continued making the chocolate cake, Ophelia babbling on about her day at school, when her little one asked, “How did you and papa meet?”

Aelin blinked at the sudden question, but answered it nevertheless. “At the grocery store.”

Ophelia furrowed her brows, and with the way her nose scrunched up, she looked so much like Rowan that it made her heart sing. When Aelin first realised that she was pregnant, she was nervous, they had only been married for seven months and while they spoke about having a child of their own, she didn't think it would happen so quickly—but Rowan's enthusiasm melted away her fears. She would never forget his tears of joy when she showed him the pregnancy test, his beaming smile when they heard her heartbeat for the first time. Aelin would walk through hell, as long as Rowan was by her side, or waiting for her at the end.

It wasn't always perfect, however, they had their ups and downs like every long-term couple, they had moments where it felt like they were walking on tightrope, either because of their own personal issues or marriage issues, or when Egan was fourteen and completely lashed out at Aelin, accusing her of replacing his mother—but she worked with her son, telling him that she had never intended to do that, that Lyria would always be the woman that brought him into the world, and that Aelin was raising him. Her heart broke in two at his pain, but she understood, he grew up with photos and stories of Lyria.

Or when they had the awkward conversation when Olive was eleven and asked why she didn't look like Rowan, and Aelin had explained her story, about Sam being her biological father, but he had given them space for Rowan to raise her instead. That had lead to brooding silences and confusion, but otherwise, Olive still saw Rowan as her dad, but she did ask from time to time about Sam, what he was like and what he was doing (the last update Aelin received from him via email that his wife was pregnant with their second child. Aelin was so happy for him that he was able to have a family, a feat that was made easier since Arobynn had been dead for years by this point) and that she would like to meet him properly one day; Aelin had kept that to herself, not wanting to tell Sam in case Olive changed her mind—Aelin hoped that she wouldn't.

Overall, their life together was what she needed, she went to bed each night loved and fulfilled. It was better than what she might have had with Chaol all those years ago, she was fairly certain that if she had married him, it wouldn't have been a long marriage.

“How did you meet at the food store?” Ophelia asked, her brow still furrowed as she and Aelin stirred the cake batter. It surprisingly smelled good.

“I needed something from a high shelf,” Aelin said, “and I couldn't reach it. Your papa was only a few feet away from me, so I asked him to get it for me.” She might have also subtly ogled him as his shirt exposed his tanned skin, and Aelin had damned near swooned at the sight of his six pack.

“Did you get married at the food store?”

Aelin laughed at the question. “No, we got married at the beach. And then you arrived not long afterwards.” Sometimes they wanted another, but things financially were going so well that they didn't want to jeopardise that by adding another mouth to feed.

“Can you have another wedding?” Ophelia asked, looking at her mum with wide eyes. “So I can go? Please?”

“I'll talk to your daddy about it, but I like the sound of that.” Kissing her daughters forehead, they continued. Just as they were putting the cake in the oven and the icing mix in the fridge, the front door opened and three booming voices infiltrated the house and the mouth watering goodness of food.

Aelin's eyes widened at the amount of food that Rowan piled on the table. It looked like they were feeding a small army and not a family of five.

Ophelia helped her older brother set the table, Egan ruffing her hair as he recounted their little adventure to the restaurant.

As they sat down, Aelin mentioned Ophelia's request. Rowan pretended to mull it over as their daughter pleaded, giving her best puppy dog eyes. It didn't take for Rowan to relent—he really had trouble saying no to her—saying that a second wedding was a great idea.

Ophelia squealed in delight and squealed even more when food was placed in front of her (she was very much like Aelin in that regard).

“How did the conversation of another wedding start?” Rowan asked as they all started eating.

“Phia here wanted to know how we meet.”

Olive snorted. “Yes, the ever romantic story of meeting in the toilet paper aisle.”

“It was not the toilet paper isle!” Aelin protested. “It was the cereal aisle.”

“At least you kids have inherited my manners,” Rowan said, “your mother didn't even ask nicely. She just came over to me and said, 'You're tall, could you get that box for me?'” It had taken him a moment to realise he had been spoken to, too focused on deciding what box of porridge to get when Aelin showed up, wearing a faded band shirt and shorts, pointing to the box of cereal that had far too much sugar to be healthy. He had said 'yes' because it was the nice thing to do, and had stayed behind, talking to her for so long in the aisle that his vanilla ice cream had started to melt.

It was the best decision in his life back then, he never thought he would have gained a friend in the grocery store—and that the friend would become his wife.

“I have manners. I said, 'Excuse you' first before I told you what I needed.”

“That's not really using manners there, ma,” Egan said, smiling as poked her tongue out. He looked so much like Lyria that it was almost scary—he still loved flowers and plants too, and was currently studying to become a florist and then one day horticulture. The backyard was full of flowers and plants thanks to him, making into a little wonderland instead of the barren plain it used to be.

“I did say 'thank you' afterwards.”

“You said 'thanks',” Rowan interjected, laughing as Aelin threw a chunk of her flatbread at his head. Ophelia's cute laughter rent through the air.

“It's the same thing!”

“If you say so, love,” Rowan muttered, his lips twitching. Aelin rolled her eyes in the dramatic way Rowan was used to, but he saw the mirth behind the movement.

“Like I said Phie, it's very romantic,” Olive said drily, sounding very much like Rowan. She had even inherited his scowl, which she was wearing now as she sniffed at the air. “Is something burning?”

Aelin had never run so fast as she did right then, the kitchen filling with smoke as she took in the blackened cake. Swearing viciously under her breath, Aelin chucked the cake into the bin, apologising to Olive as she did so.

“It's okay, mum, dad got me an ice-cream cake earlier today anyway.”

Aelin narrowed her eyes at her husband, who simply gave her an innocent smile in answer.

Rejoining her family, they talked well into the night, helping Aelin to forget her failed baking attempt. Ophelia asked more questions about their time in the grocery store and how that moment lead to friendship, to pining for the other without realising it, to a life together.

And to think, Aelin almost didn't go to the grocery store that day.

Rowan thanked the gods that he had remembered at the last moment that he had no porridge left, otherwise, he might not have met Aelin at all. Might not have had this life, this family. Part of him would always be sad that things had gone so wrong with Lyria, and he would always miss and love her. But he learned in therapy that it was good to have a life, and Rowan was glad that he heeded that advice.

He thanked the gods all the time.

And thank the rutting gods he did right now for the umpteenth time that Aelin deemed him tall enough to get her food for her, to stay in that aisle with him as they got to know each other.

Rowan was a very happy man indeed as he and Aelin went to bed that night, the smiles still on their faces at Olive's unrestrained joy at the sight of the car they spent weeks looking at second-hand dealerships at, hunting for the perfect car for their daughter.

Thank the rutting gods for all those moments in the past, present, and future.

Rowan couldn't wait to marry her again, and neither could Aelin.

Life was good.

[cuquitalocita]

the hot girl from physics class- rowaelin

AN: okay this has been sitting in my drafts for MONTHS and i just found it again. this is literally just self indulgent bickering with absolutely not plot in mind. also my first time writing rowaelin because i had no desire to butcher them so... anyway here’s to first tries and i hope you all enjoy!

main masterlist

~~

Rowan’s mouth tasted of metal.  Or maybe it was blood.  

The second thing that hit him was the inability to breathe through his mouth as he attempted to swallow a mouthful of nonexistent air.  The motion sent his eyes shooting open, immediately registering that while his mouth was covered, his nose was not, and he managed a large inhale of hot air before exploding into a rage of rough coughs that left him breathless and once again on the verge of blacking out.  Rowan thrashed in what seemed to be a chair, quickly realizing that both his arms and legs were bound tighter than he thought possible, and no amount of lacrosse training could prepare him for the fatigue he felt at that moment.  The dark spots in his vision didn’t seem to help either and his sweat shone skin seemed to melt in on itself as he took a few more breaths through his nose, slower this time until he was somewhat steady.  

It was only then he felt stable enough to figure out what the hell had happened.  The last thing he remembered was excusing himself to go to the bathroom before the bus was supposed to take off.  He had been walking down the empty hallway one moment and the last thing he could recall was the strange sensation of being as light as a feather before darkness overtook him.  And now he was here.  And… where was here exactly?

A sort of warehouse it seemed, with tall metal walls and a lofted ceiling, freezing regardless of the fact that it was barely fall meaning it was most likely abandoned.  Night shone through the glass windows he identified to his right and left and across from him sat-

“CELEANA?” Rowan attempted to scream out, his cloth-filled mouth muffling the sound to almost nothing.  But he was right, and his vision refused to fail him as his eyes widened at the hot girl from physics class who now sat across from him in a much more comfortable looking chair than his hard wooden one, sporting casual leggings, a stained t-shirt, an insanely messy bun, and the smuggest expression he had ever seen. Strands of golden hair sprang out every which way and Rowan was hit with the inherent desire to smooth it out himself. His heart did terrified somersaults as he took in her (clearly) laid back posture and bored eyes and he stiffened as Celeana pulled up one of her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around it, one of her hands clutching a small book.  It was only then he noticed the highlighter sticking out from between her teeth.  If he wasn’t gagged, he would’ve been gaping.  She was studying.  

“Well look who’s awake,” she mused, her voice somehow sounding deeper than it had before.  Rowan couldn’t deny how smooth it sounded and how naturally it suited her.  “Hey, sleeping beauty.”  There was no mistaking the smirk that curled onto her lips and the sparkle in her unique turquoise eyes as she gazed at him, her look solely calculating as she took him in from head to toe, zeroing in on something close to his head.  

The tip of the gun was colder than he imagined it would be, the hard metal sending a shock through his entire body and forcing a scream out of his mouth, damning the gag.  The sound was just as muffled as he thought it would be, barely loud enough to alert anyone within a four-foot radius to his whereabouts.  Still, he didn’t relent.  He screamed with everything.  He screamed with his anger, he screamed with his disgust, he screamed with his confusion, and he even screamed with his sadness, the emotion he hadn’t felt since his mother had died.

When the blonde had waltzed into his physics class for the first time two weeks ago sporting a bright grin and gleaming eyes, Rown hadn’t known what to expect. It certainly wasn’t the charming and positively addictive person he ended up meeting. Elegant and beautiful Rowan had been unable to tear his eyes away from her, even as she deliberately placed herself in the seat next to him, shooting him a brilliant smile. Celeana had been wholly consuming, something Rowan was now kicking himself for, and the two had fallen into an easy conversation, him unable to hold up his usually angry exterior when it came to her. They had flirted- quite a lot, if he remembered correctly and despite his constant lacrosse practices, Rowan had even found himself agreeing to help her with her physics homework. It had only taken one word from her cursing Einstein and Rowan knew he was done for. He hadn’t gotten the chance to ask her out yet- he had meant to do it after his game today. So what in hellas was he doing here?

Rowan screamed until his throat gave out, his wide eyes never faltering as he stared in what was pure shock at Celeana across from him, who seemed to be doing nothing but gazing at him, her eyes cold and calculating, a contrast to the small quirk at the corner of her lips.  By the time his throat gave out and his eyes yearned to drop shut in exhaustion, Celeana had closed her book and tucked the highlighter on top of her ear.  She wasn’t watching him anymore; instead, her gaze was fixed next to him, to the person who most certainly held the gun to his head.  A gun which Celeana seemed entirely unfazed by.  If anything, her eyes seemed to sparkle more and the other side of her mouth pulled up before she said,

“I win, pay up.”  A shift in sound and the gun behind him before a much deeper and older voice spoke now.

“Actually Miss, you said less than thirty minutes.  I said less than ten.  And it seems it was…” the gun was momentarily lifted from his head as the older man checked something on his arm, allowing him a sharp exhale.  “Seven minutes.  Which means, I won.”  The corner of Celeana’s mouth pulled down in a frown and she glared at the person behind him.

“Oh, you’re no fun Brullo,” she sighed.  “Fine.  I-” she was cut off as he commenced screaming again, louder this time after he had taken a lungful of air.  Her eyes widened for a smidge of a second in surprised shock which quickly faded into her smirk again.  When he finished screaming this time, it was because Celeana was looking him straight in the eyes, her gaze more powerful than should be possible for a girl her age.  And it told him everything he needed to know: he wasn’t going anywhere.  The sound fell from his voice and he glared fire at the girl across from him who only rolled her eyes when he attempted to open his mouth again. Her own fire blazed back at him. 

“Oh my god, are you done?” she asked in exasperation, the smirk no longer on her face, just pure teenage annoyance as she looked back at him.  He was at a loss for words as she put her book down on the ground next to her boots and looked back at him.  “Okay,” she said as if he was a wounded puppy she didn’t know how to approach.  She wasn’t afraid, just wary.  “I’m gonna take the gag off now and please, for the love of the gods, please Ro, don’t even try to scream.  With as much as I love your mouth, and believe me, I really do,” she gave him a wink and he let out a growl laced with disgust and ignoring the electricity in his blood at the look she gave him.  “I have no interest in hearing you any more than I have to today.  Got it?”

He said nothing, his glare unwavering as Celeana stood from her chair and approached him, the gun to his head tensing as if the bearer was more alert than he had been a moment ago.  Rowan wondered exactly how he was supposed to even move when his arms and legs were bound and just to prove it he went still as Celeana leaned forward, her blue eyes suddenly level with his as she reached towards the back of his head and untied the intricate knot in a quick movement of her hands. He attempted not to inhale her intoxicating scent- jasmine and lemon verbatim. She was back in her seat before Rowan could register the air on his mouth and he gulped down a few breaths as he looked at her again, unsurprised to find she was looking at him as well.  His heart did a relay in his chest as his green eyes met her blue ones and she arched a brow, smirking again.

“Like what you see?”  His answering glare said enough until the silence was too much.

“Who are you?” he growled and Celeana laughed coldly, either at him or something else, he didn’t know.  She tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and Rowan tried not to focus on it.

“You know who I am,” was all she said.  

“I thought you were Celeana but apparently I don’t know shit considering you kidnapped me and tied me to a chair.”  His voice was ice as he snapped at her and Rowan enforced his point by shaking his arms and legs and wincing at the pain.  Celeana’s gaze showed no sympathy or remorse for him and his heart sunk at the realization that he wasn’t surprised.  He had no idea who this girl was, he realized.  Celeana leaned back in her chair, her posture lazy once more, and began to mess with her nails.  It was only then that Rowan realized they were dark red underneath and he swallowed, his gaze snapping up to Celeana’s.  She followed his eyes with her own in a bemused way until realization struck her and her eyes widened.

“I- oh god, chill out, it’s just Taki dust,” she assured him, holding up a purple bag of spicy chips she pulled out from under the chair as evidence.  She let out a huff of a laugh and shoved the open bag at him in a questioning gesture.  She shoved one in her mouth before asking, “Want one?”  Her voice was almost as muffled as his had been and he glared at her, his eyebrows shooting up to remind her of his arms and legs.  “Fine,” she muttered.  “Have it your way.”  Celeana’s eyes shot up to the person behind Rowan as she dusted her fingers off and something flashed in her eyes before the light weight of the gun was removed from his temple.  He exhaled.

“What do you want from me?  My aunt will-”

“Spare me the family connections pretty boy, we’re not interested.  I will say this, it isn’t personal.”

“Why the hell should I believe anything you said when everything you’ve said so far has been a lie?” he snapped, attempting to find some sort of ground. 

“Well, that just isn’t true.  I really do suck at physics, Ro,” she said smiling, pointing to the book at her feet.  “Hawking is kicking my ass this year,” she grumbled and if she was anyone else he would have laughed.

“Don’t bullshit me, who the hell are you?”  Her eyes sparkled at his defiance and he stiffened as the man who had been holding the gun to his head padded up next to Celeana.  He was easily a foot and a half taller than her, making her look like nothing more than a tiny ant in comparison to him, and he had to be at least his aunt’s age.  But the muscle that quivered beneath his leather jacket was enough of a difference for Rowan.  Celeana’s grin grew.

“Are you gonna drop the ‘woe is me hero act’ any time soon?  I’m just curious as to whether I should get some popcorn or not,” was all she replied.

“Pretty gutsy coming from a girl holding an innocent person against his will,” he snapped back. Faster than he could have thought possible Celeana’s playful expression had shriveled into cold hard menace, the look sending a spineful of shivers down his back and forcing his heart into his throat.  Gone was the girl who enjoyed witty bantering.  In her place was the monster he had painted her as from the moment he had opened his eyes.  Rowan realized he should have taken laid-back Celeana when he had the chance because there was no doubt in his mind that the girl in front of him could and would end his life when given the chance.

Celeana’s posture stiffened and the hand that had been playing with her hair stilled as the man beside her placed a hand on her shoulder.  Whether it was meant to be a warning or a comfort, Rowan didn’t know.  Celeana’s face turned cold, her playful pretense officially vanishing.

She sneered and leaned forward on her elbows until they were almost nose to nose.  Rowan refused to shrink back as much as he wanted to.  The feeling coursing through his veins was unfamiliar to him: fear.  “You know something, prince?” she asked.  Her smirk was purely feral.  “I don’t like you very much.  And I’m not beyond beating your ass to prove it.  So shut up, and do what you’re told and you might live.”  With that, Celeana pushed her hands off of her knees and leaned back in her chair as if nothing had happened.

Rowan swallowed, knowing there was no point in hiding his fear of her.  It was so strong she could probably smell it on him.

“Why am I here?” he snarled.

“That isn’t your concern, and frankly I don’t feel like explaining it to you.”  

“Are you ever going to give me a straight answer?”

“Why would I, when you seem so hell-bent on hating me?” How could he explain to her that he wanted to, gods did he want to. And yet he could still feel his emotions attempting to fight him.  

“Who are you?”

“You tell me.  I think you know.  I think that pretty face is for more than just looks.”  He gulped at the realization that this wasn’t a dream.  He was really sitting in a warehouse, bound to a chair, while full-fledged members of the mafia stared at him. He really hated his aunt sometimes. 

“You don’t look like the rest of them.  You’re-”

“Prettier?  Smarter?  Wittier?  Tell me something I don’t know.” Celeana was picking at her nails again. 

“So what are you supposed to be?  Good cop?”  Her answering smile chilled his bones.

“Something like that.  It would help to tolerate me.”

“You try being friendly with the people holding you prisoner.” Celeana’s smile vanished. 

“You’d be surprised.”

“The hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Like I’d tell you.”  Rowan was really wishing he had witty Celeana back because this one seemed to hate him just as much as he hated her.  “Now I really suggest shutting the hell up with the questions before that bullet ends up between those pretty little eyes of yours.”

“Miss, your uncle called.  He’ll be home at eight.”  A chill went down his spine as Celeana’s face went white.  He almost thought he was seeing things when something like fear flashed in her eyes for a moment before it was gone and replaced with her smirk again, this one which didn’t quite reach her eyes.  

“Well,” Celeana said, grunting as she stood up and hauled her backpack and book over her shoulder.  “This has been fun, but I’m gonna have to leave you boys to it.”  Rowan knew something was wrong when she blew him a kiss, barely looking over her shoulder as she opened the door to the warehouse, pausing with one foot out.

Celeana turned back to him, the side of her face even more beautiful in the reflecting moonlight. As her eyes met his, Rowan felt pinned in place by the intensity in her own. 

“Aelin,” she said quietly.  “My name is Aelin. My mom used to call me Celeana when we would sneak out of the house together,” she paused before adding, “It wasn’t all a lie.”  With that, she silently slipped out the door, shutting it solidly behind her and leaving Celeana staring at the empty place where she had just been.

It wasn’t all a lie.

~~

drink your water :) 

[rowanaelinn]

Okay, so my plan was to write you something from the lucky one universe for your birthday, but getting Covid has derailed my plans just a bit, so here’s my alternative. This is going to be an essay that basically outlines every single thing I love about Illicit Affairs, and why it’s probably my favorite Rowaelin fic of all time.

I knew this fic was going to be good right from the first chapter, the prologue of sorts. The chemistry between them was immediate, and I was so so so frustrated when I found out he was married that I wanted to scream. But… I knew something obviously was going to change cause there’s no way you can deny their connection. And low and behold it did! This is kinda evil of me, but I’m glad she’s dead. Not in the sense that Rowan is now mourning her cause f that, you have a perfectly wonderful woman with you now sir you do not need to be stuck in the past 🙄, but I’ll get to that later.

Also f chaol too, he sucks. But, I’m glad she got rid of him and ended back with Rowan 😁😁😁. As his stud he too 😏. Guilty pleasure trope there, an age gap, only if there’s absolutely no chance of abuse of power or anything. Only healthy relationships, which you have portrayed perfectly!!! I love the way you write them, because even though rowan is twelve years older than her and even though he’s her professor, you have complete trust in him to do the right thing. He’s not a creep or an asshole, and because of that it makes the relationship hot instead of problematic.

Speaking of hot… 🥵 this fic makes me want to combust. Literally I think the smut in this is the hottest smut I’ve ever read. Rowan could step on me and I would thank him. From the moment they almost kissed in the beginning, to when they did kiss in chapter eight, to the bathroom hookup to all the hookups at his house and then chapter twenty three (before they got interrupted of course). Literally, it’s just so so impeccably good and spicy and I don’t even know how else to describe it. I’m obsessed.

Also, I love the way you included Celaena as Aelin’s twin. Now, im not a fan of when people in the fandom try and separate her as two different people in canon, and act like she’s completely apart with two different mates, etc. But this is fanfic and I’m so intrigued by your set up, it provided such an interesting background to explore grief and mourning and moving on from that kind of loss. And it was so unique compared to other fics I’ve seen, not to discount any, but I just love the way you’ve handled those topics. It’s set in the background of a forbidden romance, but it’s so much deeper than that.

And omg I can’t forget about Helia! She’s so adorable, and I love her relationship with Aelin. It’s so realistic, and I love the concern and care Aelin and Rowan have toward making sure she’s comfortable with their relationship and not too confused. Rowan is an excellent father, and Aelin is coming into her own as a mom. ❤️❤️❤️

All I can really say beyond this right now is just thank you. Thank you so much for sharing this fic with us, and please try not to break our hearts too much 😭 (otherwise I’ll never forgive you 😊😂).

Happy birthday!!!!🎊🎉🎁🎈🎂

oh my god morgan it’s 7am and i’m crying😭😭

YOUR FAVOURITE ROWAELIN FIC OF ALL TIME?? THIS IS MY HONOR

I adore every single point you’ve made, and I am so glad you noticed every single little detail I slipped in between the lines to make that fic better 🥺

HELIA IS EVERYONE’S BELOVED AS SHE SHOULD!!! I’m going to do like SJM did for KOA and promise that only one character is 100% sure to survive and it’s Helia, I could never hurt my girl

Thank you so so so much for this Morgan, I reread it at least 6 times before answering and I think I’ll reread it many times more🥺❤️❤️

[punkassbookjockey26]

New Year, New Us - A Rowaelin One Shot

Happy New Year to all you beautiful people reading! May 2021 be everything that 2020 wasn’t <3.

Okay, okay. I know I said fluffy. But I started writing and before I knew it, I had 2000 words of some angsty stuff. So I apologize. But it has a happy ending so there’s that at least?

Credit to @highqueenofelfhame ​ for coming up with the nickname Ace for Aelin. 

CW: language, some mild spiciness

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Life wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that she was sitting in a bar that smelled like sweat and stale beer, surrounded by bodies pressing against her while she tried to nurse her drink. It wasn’t fair that it was New Year’s Eve, and it was the least crowded place within walking distance, but the holiday meant that it was still full of people drunkenly yelling at the TV while they waited for the ball to drop in Time’s Square. It definitely wasn’t fair that she didn’t have anyone to spend New Year’s Eve with except Rowan Whitethorn, her best friend, who arrived back in Orynth a few weeks ago, looking like some kind of GQ model right off the airplane from Wendlyn. And it absolutely wasn’t fair that the distance between the two of them had done utterly nothing to dull the edge of being irrevocably in love with him.

No, Aelin decided, taking a sip from her drink. It truly wasn’t fair.

Realizing she was in love with her best friend was the worst thing to ever happen to her. She supposed it had been a gradual thing that had taken place over the many years of their friendship. They had been friends for most of their lives, growing up together with their families living just down the street from each other. And objectively, Aelin had known that Rowan was handsome. She heard the other girls comment on how hot he was all the time and how lucky she was that she was the only one that held his attention for so long. Aelin had just attributed that to being such great best friends. Rowan knew everything about her, and she knew everything about him.

But everything changed when they went to college.

Aelin opted to stay and attend Orynth University, whereas Rowan decided to travel to Wendlyn to attend the prestigious University of Doranelle. At the time, she had been so proud of her friend, getting into his dream school to study computer science, even though she knew it meant that their whole dynamic would change. And that first semester had been brutal for her. Her schedule had been packed with classes and extracurriculars, and Rowan had so much homework that he often would send her text messages and emails in the early hours of the morning after she had already gone to bed. There had been hardly any time for talking, let alone visiting each other. And before she knew it, the semester was over, and five months had passed since she had seen her best friend.

Aelin had missed him fiercely. She missed his laugh and their inside jokes. She missed being able to call him whenever she wanted to talk about stupid things or when she needed to talk about the stuff that made her upset. She missed the way his pine green eyes sparkled when he smiled in that special way that seemed to be for her only. She just missed him.

So when she picked him up from the airport when he came home for that first winter break, and he ran towards her, scooping her up in his arms to hug her impossibly close, and she breathed in that familiar pine and snow scent that she missed for months, it hit her like a brick to her face.

She was in love with her best friend. And she was so, so fucked.

She decided then and there that she couldn’t tell him. She would not risk her best friend to something as stupid as an unrequited crush. But Rowan could tell something was amiss the entire break, despite her insistence to the contrary. And when he left to go back to Wendlyn, and she hugged him at the airport, she felt the shift in their relationship that she knew she had caused. He didn’t hug her as tightly or whisper secrets into her hair as he did before. He only frowned and wished her well in the upcoming semester, as soft and stoic as he had never been with her.

Somehow, in trying to keep her friendship from breaking, she’d broken it anyway.

They still talked, but it wasn’t the same. There were no more inside jokes or late-night conversations. Everything seemed to be in passing, all generic questions about how school was going or how their families were. And Aelin realized that this fragmented thing was her doing, all because she had to catch feelings for her best friend.

And then Lyria happened.

Aelin didn’t realize how much her relationship with Rowan had broken until she had gone to pick him up from the airport for Spring Break a few months later. She knew he had been dating but didn’t think it had been anything serious. He mentioned it in passing once or twice in their awkward conversations since Christmas. But surprise didn’t even begin to cover it when she arrived at the airport and saw not only Rowan but a beautiful girl with chestnut curls standing with her arm in his, looking like he’d hung the moon.

It was the first time she had ever cried over him. And the next day, she texted Chaol Westfall, the cute boy from her biology class, accepting his invitation for coffee.

And just like that, both she and Rowan were in relationships with other people. And she hated it.

Chaol realized early on that she held a flame for someone else, and Aelin had been too much of a coward to break it off with him, not when Rowan’s relationship with Lyria was going so well. So they tried to make it work. For over two years, they tried. Until they couldn’t anymore. And while she would never forgive Chaol for cheating on her with the pretty nursing student, she couldn’t exactly blame him, not when she never gave the relationship the consideration she should have.

But Rowan and Lyria were still going strong. At least she thought they were. She didn’t actually know because Rowan didn’t confide in her anymore. But when he picked him up from the airport a few weeks earlier, Lyria was nowhere in sight. And when she pressed Rowan for the girl’s whereabouts, he only frowned and said she would be spending the break with her family. She didn’t ask for any more details than that, and Rowan didn’t provide any. But she couldn’t deny the small bit of happiness that crept into her heart at the thought that maybe she might have her friend back, even for a little while.

And she had. Ever since his arrival back in Orynth, it was like the past three years never existed. They had slipped back into their old routine, and it was like coming home. They had done everything together that they hadn’t done since before they left for college. So many traditions had gone to the wayside in favor of relationships and growing up. And this one magical Christmas brought it all back. For the first time in years, Aelin felt herself breathe easy. Even knowing that it was temporary and he would return to Wendlyn in a few weeks would not deter her from cherishing this time they had together, just the two of them. He could ask anything of her, and she would say yes, no matter what.

Which is how she ended up alone in a dingy bar on New Year’s Eve, still completely and utterly in love with her best friend.

She had done an excellent job over the years pushing those pesky feelings deep down inside of her, but it had only taken one look at Rowan for them to come rushing back to the surface. It had been a while since she had gotten a good look at him. He was 22 now, and gone was the lanky teen she had known before. He had grown into an incredibly handsome man, the rest of his body catching up with his height. The usual fop of hair that she had grown accustomed to throughout his teen years was replaced by something shorter and more stylish. But most importantly, he had not lost that mischievous twinkle in his eyes that he seemed to reserve solely for her.

But more than that, he was the same goofy dude she grew up with as well. The one that laughed at her stupid jokes and called her out when she was a brat. The one that remembered that she loved chocolate hazelnut cake and made a special stop to the bakery to make sure she had it for Christmas. The one who really was her best friend through and through, despite everything that happened, and would always know more about her than she ever knew herself.

And he would never know that she was in love with him.

“What are you doing over here by yourself, Ace?”

A deep voice shook Aelin from her daydream at the bar, and she had to actively fight the shiver that the nickname caused. She turned to look at Rowan, who was leaning against the bar next to her, a lopsided grin on his face. She wondered if he remembered the last time he called her by that nickname had been before everything had gone to shit.

She smiled softly at her friend and lifted her glass. “Just drinking in the new year.”

Rowan laughed as he signaled to the bartender for a drink of his own. “You know what they say. What you do now sets the tone for the kind of year you’ll be having.”

“New year, new me,” Aelin said irreverently and took a long drag of her drink, repressing the grimace she felt creeping up over her features. She wasn’t particularly fond of whiskey, but she needed the bite to ground her during the evening. She noticed Rowan was staring at her oddly, but she shook it off. She had to keep reminding herself that it was her fault that he didn’t know this new version of herself – the one who drank alone at the bar while others partied the night away. It was no wonder he was looking at her strangely.

The bartender returned with Rowan’s drink, sliding it in front of him. She tried not to stare as he took a mouthful, his throat bobbing with each pull from his glass. Gods, everything this man did stoked a fire deep within her. She never knew such seemingly innocuous things could be so damn distracting, but then again, no one had ever seemed to grab her attention the way Rowan did.

Life was definitively not fair.

Aelin took another sip, turning away from him, lest she was caught staring herself. “What’s your excuse, then? You must be planning for a shit year if you’re here drinking with me.”

Rowan just shrugged and indulged in another large swallow. “New year, new me, I guess,” he said, repeating her words from earlier. And Aelin didn’t press him for any more details.

An awkward silence fell over them, the first one since he had been home. Aelin tried not to frown, but it seemed futile. Despite everything that had happened over the last few weeks and the magic of being themselves once again, Aelin had to wonder if the friendship was meant to last. They were two different people that had come together out of a determined nostalgia, but that alone didn’t make a friendship work. And with Lyria still in the mix, she knew that the second Rowan returned to Wendlyn, things between them would become complicated once again. She had tried to ignore Rowan’s not so subtle glances at his phone all evening, as if he were counting down the seconds not to the new year but to the moment where it was acceptable to be rid of her.

So deep in her misery, Aelin hadn’t realized how late it was until the crowd started counting down, and she turned to see that crystalline ball’s descent on the TV. Resigned to ringing in the new year drunk and morose, she turned back to her whiskey, taking another sip, savoring the burn as it slid down her throat. The counting grew louder around her as more of the bar’s patrons joined in, excited for the upcoming celebration, but Aelin focused solely on the drink in front of her. She didn’t dare see what Rowan was doing. It was bad enough that he was here to witness her misfortune.

Suddenly, before she had a chance to take another sip of her drink, Aelin was spun around by a pair of strong hands and soft lips pressed against hers while the bar broke out into loud cheers signaling the start of the new year.

Aelin pulled away immediately, her eyes wide as she took in the face of her best friend. He was inches away from hers, the closest that he had ever been, his breathing labored. A piece of that silvery blonde hair of his fell into his eyes, and her hand itched to rake it back, to run her hands through every single strand on his head. Those pine green eyes of his were wild, searching, as he waited for her response.

The problem was, she didn’t know how to respond. So she did the only thing she could do.

She panicked.

“Aelin…wait!” Rowan’s voice cried out as she pushed herself off the barstool and out the front door of the bar. She cursed the tears gathering at the corners of her eyes as she ran down the street towards the park she knew was only a few blocks away. Snow drifted lazily around her, crunching softly underneath her boots with each step she took. She shivered slightly in the cold, realizing that she stupidly left her coat at the bar with Rowan.

A tear left a hot track down her cheek as her thoughts turned back to Rowan. How many times had she thought about kissing him? Practically every time she was with Chaol and before then too. And he had made a mockery of her by taking something so precious and using it for a stupid new year’s tradition. Not only that, but he had a girlfriend. She refused to be the other woman in whatever his relationship was with Lyria.

She barely made it to the park when she heard his heavy footfalls behind her. She should have known he would follow her. Cursing, she wiped angrily at her tears before she turned on him. He stopped right in front of her, and she felt her heart stop. His face was flushed from the cold, and that perfect hair of his was disheveled and windswept from his run after her. In the streetlights, she could see the snow clinging to him, and if she weren’t so angry, she would have great difficulty from launching herself at him.

She folded her arms in front of her, partially to keep herself warm and partly to protect herself from him. Because she needed to protect herself. He held her heart in his hands at this very moment, even if he didn’t know it, and he could very well shatter it with his next words. Rowan just stared at her before lifting her coat in between them.

Aelin glared at the offending object before snatching it out of his hands. She quickly pulled it on before resuming her stance. Rowan rubbed his hand on his neck, casting his eyes downward, and Aelin felt rage burn away inside of her. He had absolutely no right to feel embarrassed, not when he instigated all of this.

They stood there for a moment in silence, the frostbitten air doing little to cool the raging inferno churning away inside her. She kept her lips pursed to keep the torrent of emotions at bay, but she was feeling too much too fast.

“Why did you do that?” she bit out angrily.

Rowan’s head shot up, his eyes locking with hers. He paused, breathing in the air around him as if the ice and snow centered him. “I broke up with Lyria.”

Aelin’s heart stumbled at the revelation. Rowan broke up with Lyria? When did that happen? Why didn’t he say anything? But then she remembered the great chasm between the two of them that they had only recently begun to traverse. And it certainly felt like that tenuous peace they had found the last few weeks crumbled the second Rowan’s lips found hers. And Aelin felt the anger surge once more.

“So what? You missed her, is that it?”

“What? No!” She barely glimpsed the wild look in his eyes at the thought.

“Oh, so I was just convenient then.”

“Aelin, no. That’s not…”

“You know, you could have told me, Rowan,” she interrupted. “I would have played wingman. There were dozens of single women in that bar that you could have kissed. You didn’t have to kiss me.”

She ignored his face crumbling as she turned to walk away from him. Ignored his soft call of “Aelin, wait…” that sounded as she moved down the path. She knew better than to get her hopes up that it meant anything more than what it was. Rowan had shattered her heart into a million pieces on the pavement, and he didn’t even know. And he would never know.

“Dammit, Aelin! Would you just listen to me?” She didn’t know when Rowan caught up with her, too lost in her thoughts, but was just behind her on the path. Grabbing her by the hand, he quickly swung her around and pulled her flush against his chest. She could hardly breathe at being so close to him, that familiar pine and snow scent of his enveloping her. “I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you.”

Everything in the world seemed to stop at those words. Aelin dared to look up at him, caught the pleading look in his eyes. Her hands had landed on his chest, and she could feel his racing heart underneath her fingertips. Her mouth parted in surprise when Rowan wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her impossibly closer to him.

“Come on, Ace. You know I’ve been in love with you for years.”

Aelin’s jaw dropped. She could hardly believe what she was hearing, even as Rowan’s mouth tilted into a small hopeful smile. Her heart was racing, and she felt dizzy and hot – such an odd contrast to the winter world surrounding her. But Rowan’s strong arms held her steady as she slowly began to process what Rowan was telling her.

“You’re in love with me?” she breathed, barely audible even in the stillness of the night as if saying it any louder might make the whole dream disappear. Rowan only nodded, and Aelin swore he had stopped breathing.

Before Aelin knew what she was doing, she leaned up and softly pressed her lips against his. She felt him inhale sharply at that barely-there kiss, but it didn’t take long for him to respond in kind. She felt his arm tighten around her waist as a hand came up to cup her jaw, arching her back delicately. She positively melted against him, her hands sliding up his chest so she could wrap her arms around his neck. The burning her gut roared to life with the strength of a star as he deepened the kiss, his hand sliding around her jaw to tangle in the hair at the nape of her neck.

This was the kiss they should have had at midnight if he had said something sooner.

Something snagged in her mind, and she pulled her mouth away from his, breathing heavily. Rowan took it as an invitation to place hot, wet kisses down the side of her neck, nipping at the sensitive flesh behind her ear, as if he knew already that it was a particularly erogenous spot for her. She couldn’t help the soft moan that spilled out of her mouth.

But as much as she wanted to continue to explore this newfound revelation with Rowan, it would have to wait because she suddenly had some questions she needed answering.

She pulled out of Rowan’s embrace, almost laughing at the adorably confused look on his face when he realized that she was no longer there. She faced him with her hands on her hips, a mirthful scowl on her face.

“What did you mean that I knew that you had been in love with me for years?”

Rowan’s eyes widened, and he coughed slightly, averting his eyes from her piercing gaze. “Well, umm…I thought that was why you pulled away freshman year. Because you found out that I had been in love with you since high school.”

Aelin sucked in a breath. But it seemed that Rowan had much more to get off his chest because he continued.

“It sucked so much, letting you go. You were my best friend, but I figured I would give you your space and deal with it on my own. And I tried to move on. And you had been with Chaol, and I figured you were happy, so I tried to be happy with Lyria. But she’s not you.”

“So I broke up with her because it wasn’t fair for her to stay in a relationship with me when my heart wasn’t in 100%. That was months ago. But I didn’t know how to reach out to you, not when we hadn’t really spoken in years, and last I checked, you were still with him. But then I found out that you and Chaol broke up, and I knew I couldn’t let another year slip by without shooting my shot. Because it’s always been you, Aelin.”

His words swirled around her in the dark, and they filled her soul like the precious things they were. Rowan loved her. He really and truly loved her. It was an impossible wish she had for years, and it was finally coming true. And before she could really help herself, a laugh bubbled out from between her lips.

Rowan frowned at her. “I’m sorry,” she laughed, “I’m not laughing at you. It’s just…we’re both idiots.”

Rowan’s frown deepened, and Aelin only laughed harder at the puzzled look on his face. After a moment, she managed to compose herself, wiping away a tear collected in the corner of her eye. She wasn’t sure if it was from the laughter or just the sheer overwhelming roller coaster of emotions she had been through in the short evening.

“Rowan, the reason I pulled away was that I realized that I was in love with you, and I didn’t want to make things weird between us. Which ultimately made things weird between us.”

A beat of silence echoed between the two of them before Rowan snorted loudly. Another giggle escaped her lips, and before she knew it, they were leaning against each other to support themselves while they laughed in the quiet of the park.

Moments later, the laughter died down into breaths and sighs as Rowan kissed her again, deeply, reverently. Aelin smiled against his lips, slipping her hands underneath his coat to slide along his back. She felt his breath hitch as he pulled her close once more, his hands leaving little trails of fire everywhere he touched.

“Here’s my new year’s resolution,” he mumbled against her lips. “Let’s try not to be idiots going forward.”

“Agreed,” she replied, relishing the feel of his lips against hers, something she had only ever thought of alone in the dark of her room and was now her reality. “New year, new us.”

Rowan chuckled softly, sweeping her up in another long, satisfying kiss. “New year, new us.”

-----

Tag list:

@faerie-queen-fireheart ​ @queen-of-glass ​ @superspiritfestival ​@jesstargaryenqueen ​ @ireallyshouldsleeprn ​ @morganofthewildfire ​@chieflemming ​ @swankii-art-teacher​

[gobbledy-gluk-gluk]

I posted 96 times in 2021

10 posts created (10%)

86 posts reblogged (90%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 8.6 posts.

I added 53 tags in 2021

#acotar - 13 posts

#tog - 7 posts

#jude duarte - 6 posts

#harry potter - 5 posts

#feyre archeron - 5 posts

#folk of the air - 4 posts

#rowan whitethorn - 4 posts

#rowaelin - 3 posts

#rhysand - 3 posts

#the cruel prince - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 72 characters

#when i tell you i ran to tumblr to make a joke about backdoor tomfoolery

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Smut Intervention Needed

Had to confront that I'm reading too much smut today when I realized that reading the past tense of “to grind” as “grinded” instead of “ground” had become a pet peeve of mine. 

As in, I am reading a volume of smut so overwhelming that the conjugation of verbs describing dry-humping is at the forefront of my critiquing mind. 

Anyway, I’m not going to stop, but keep me in your prayers 

22 notes • Posted 2021-05-12 02:10:58 GMT

#4

Why did nobody have more to say about Rhys going absolutely fucking feral during the 3rd task in ACOTAR? Like, he was NOT being causal lol. Full on screaming Feyre’s name and attacking Amarantha even though there was clearly nothing he could do. All of the High Lords saw that and there wasn’t ANY gossip floating around? No raised eyebrows about the brutal, vicious High Lord of the Night Court clearly caring, not for the outcome of the trial, but for the life of this mortal woman?? Tamlin wasn’t jealous? Didn’t immediately start drilling Feyre for information about their relationship under the mountain? Hellion didn’t immediately realize what was going on and make it his personal goal to stir up drama for his work bestie? Seems weird, but ok. If I had been down there, I would be starting some absolutely salacious rumors. Because I love the drama

48 notes • Posted 2021-05-02 16:38:47 GMT

#3

Full offense, but the whole Nesta seducing the world through ballroom dance thing was one of the cringiest things I’ve ever read in my entire life. Really transported me to 2005 era self-insert fanfiction. The anecdote Elain told about the duke was bad enough but then the Court of Nightmares scene??? The proposal???? 🤢

Oof.

53 notes • Posted 2021-05-05 20:39:33 GMT

#2

Posts about Cruel Prince are such a nice change of pace from other spicy book fandoms (cough cough ACOTAR) bc everyone seems ok with the idea that there are no perfectly good characters and most bad characters have dimension. Hot bitches appreciate nuance.

100 notes • Posted 2021-05-02 15:51:28 GMT

#1

Dialogue Directly From Ch 45 of Heir of Fire

Aelin: Yeah, you're my centuries-old fae mentor and I'm getting over a breakup, but I'd fuck you if you asked

Rowan: What?

Aelin: What?

Valg Prince Hiding Behind Tree: She said she'd fuck you if you asked

380 notes • Posted 2021-05-10 20:39:13 GMT

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