#rot in loneliness

[exhelluvafan]

vent post below

at this point I'll most likely kill myself before I ever get the chance to experience romantic love or experience having a significant other that cares about me and vice versa.

apologies for my sudden outburst of depressive posts, but it's just... I'm so, so tired, so tired of thinking about this, wishing my anhedonia overtook fully my emotions and leaving me as an emotionless husk and a mere sack of meat and bones that does actions and nothing else.

why am I so naive to think that even beefy, kind men would ever notice me? hell, I even think that my fictional "husbands" wouldn't even like me for how boring and utterly worthless I am in general.

why didn't I kill myself before...?

i feel like I'm on the brink of going insane, and no amount of meds is going to stop me from killing myself in the future.

[iatemyorgans]

i really hate when people ask me "so, what are you doing these days?" because i can't say, "oh, you know, rotting in bed, suicidal thoughts, lesbian loneliness, daydreaming & yearning." so instead i just say "eh, nothing important."

[mini-assassin-osiris]

It’s midnight! Which means it’s my birthday! :D

*Osiris has Eurymachus’s red headband sitting next to his right, the coin he didn’t give to Antinous on his left, and he already put Anastasia to bed so she’s not there. He has a sloppy picture he made of his older brothers, his sister, and his mother too*

*He doesn’t have a cake, or any food really. He stole a candle from the palace and used two rocks to light it*

Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday mini assassin- Happy birthday to me! :3

*He happily blows out the candle and claps to himself*

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

it actually irritates me so much when people bring up the TENMA parents when someone's discussing Mrs Asahina, Harumichi or even Shinei. if you think poor Mr and Mrs Tenma are remotely comparable to those three disgraces, i am going to assume you don't read

[yujeong]

Me: Damn, I didn't expect to love Tonkla as much as I do, I wonder why that is

Tonkla: *is insanely lonely and self-destructive and tries to cope in concerningly unhealthy ways*

Also me: Oh

[thesuperawesomeaarpong]

The phrase "I'm just a girl" has permeated throughout online culture as well as femcel communities.

It seems to me a counterpart to the phrases like "boys will be boys", a way for women to shed responsibility and deflect criticism. Women have of course been criticized for using this phrase as it it would be infantilising them.

A fair criticism, however, this doesn't seem to happen when men use the "boys will be boys" phrase as they are allowed to keep their authority and competence while still deflecting criticism.

Part of this may be that when women use their phrase, it usually concern them being bad at something like driving, math or healthy eating. While with men, their phrase is used when they act misogynistic.

The solution to this is that women should only say "I'm just a girl" after doing something misandrist. 😁🙈🙉🙊

[tragedienne4ngel]

[mossterunderthebed]

[smalltowndoll]

Just say you're obsessed with me already ♡♡♡ look at all this attention, I know I'm pretty but my goodness! @fademotion I'm sorry but I'm taken, you have to find someone else to harass and degrade 😘

[thirdtimed]

thinking about the jimmy scar pearl venn diagram and absolutely just disintegrating over it

[elsalvy]

i don't want anybody to speak to me @ school like no fuck off i dont have anything to say and im not interested in what you have to

[exhelluvafan]

last post of mine for today that isn't a repost,

warning, vent content down, below the cut.

so, tomorrow I'll be buying my antidepressants and medicate myself as prescribed by my doctors, but to be honest, I still feel like I'm delaying my suicide with pointless legalized drugs and mental gymnastics to keep myself from exploding and throwing myself off a cliff.

once again, I feel like no man that I have interest in, either physical or psychological, ever reciprocates that interest, and no, no matter how much I "put myself out there", it's just worthless in the end and I end up wasting time.

I do not know how to flirt, I have never been confessed to and vice versa, I feel disconnected from those men that I have my eyes on for that short period of time, already acknowledging that they either already have a significant other or the interest isn't mutual.

man, I should keep self-harming and allow myself to bleed, writing things like this is lame and everyone would rather tolerate me when I'm silent, rather than having to deal with an emotional, depressed freak like myself.

I have to accept that I'll never be laid and manhandled by a buff (athletic to bodybuilder), kind yet kinky man, I'll never be enough nor worthy enough of such things, it may hurt but I gotta accept it, even if I don't like it.

I just hope that I don't get to awake tomorrow, or wake up in full dull mode, without feeling anything or something, allowing me to finally be more useful for once.

[rttingd0ll]

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PLEASE STOP SHOWING ME B00BS UNDER THE

#girlblogging UGHHH

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[queenofthemagazines-stp73]

this is my daily schedule if u even care :(

[mamawasatesttube]

just thinking out loud here but i feel like a lot of popular perception of kon esp in online fandom spaces is colored by his joie de vivre and all the times he's silly and goofy. which i do of course adore!! i love when he's silly and goofy. but comparing that perception to, that of like, clark or kara, i feel like kon gets shunted into the box of "dumb comic relief character" a lot more easily. lots of factors probably contribute to that (sb94 having a bad rep, while no other kon comic really goes into a lot of his tragedy; conflation with the side of the fandom that doesn't read comics; the fact that comparatively postcrisis kara doesn't have a team the way kon has yj and clark is seen as a more capable adult, so other characters in the jl get the "dumb comic relief" short end of the stick more often; etc) ...

... but what really gets me about him is that he does embody a lot of the same traits as the rest of the kryptonian superfam. he's so extremely kind. he's got that same noble heart as the rest of them; he cares about everyone and he wants to protect everyone. and he's so, so lonely. he struggles between cultures and worlds where he feels like he doesn't belong to either. he is so strong and capable and holds so much power that it scares him.

cradles him gently in my hands. he contains multitudes... come closer don't you want to love him 🥺

[rapidreptile]

it's the dragons' curse I suppose. goodnight