#rose tyler deserves better

[insomniacwithoutpurpose]

Talk to Me

NineRose Day 3: "We need to talk about this"

(I finally finished it!!! It's also on AO3 under SeraphinaVerena, if you want to check it out)

Rose was hiding deep inside the TARDIS, avoiding the Doctor. Despite the futility of it, Rose hoped that the TARDIS would keep her hidden. She knew that the ship, while sentient in some form, however, would always favor the Doctor even if she sometimes left little presents on her nightstand in the morning. Still, she hoped. 

They had been in London that day, Rose dropped by Jackie’s to get her clothes washed—no matter that the TARDIS could do that herself, too. But Rose enjoyed being able to come home, giving her something that grounded her to Earth, because all that she’d seen with the Dcotor, Rose was sure that she could get lost if it weren’t for Jackie. But today had been different. 

Rose, saddled with her clean laundry after saying goodbye to her mom, was walking across the Powell Estate courtyard back to the TARDIS. The Doctor had refused to come up with her, not after the last time when Jackie had slapped him, claiming to have to do “important repairs, Rose. The TARDIS can’t fly without ‘em.” She’d smiled and let him get away with the lie, not really in the mood to break up their bickering anyway. However, when a horrifyingly familiar voice called her name, Rose wished like hell the Doctor had come with her. 

At first, Rose froze, unsure if she was hearing things, but when she heard the voice call for her again, Rose continued to the TARDIS, walking faster than before. She was nearly to the TARDIS when someone grabbed her arm. 

“Thought that was you, Rose,” he said, causing a shiver to run down Rose’s spine. “Ignorin’ me now, are we?” Every muscle in her body tensed, but she forced herself to face him. 

“Hi, Jimmy,” Rose said tightly, grimacing slightly. His grip on her arm wasn’t painful, but she didn’t any part of him touching her. Carefully, she turned her body so Jimmy would have to let go to remain civil or risk being too aggressive--a line he knew how to dance on well. 

“Haven’t seen you around for a while, Rose. Heard you were ‘traveling.’” The smirk on Jimmy’s face told her how likely he thought that was. “I just figured you’d found some bloke to shack up with and didn’t want to fess up to your mum.”

Rose narrowed her eyes, edging further away from him. Once, she had found his bleach blond hair and dark eyes alluring—everything her mum would’ve hated, but now every part of her skin itched just to be around him. She knew better; she was better. 

“What do you want, Jimmy?” Rose asked through gritted teeth, trying desperately to not let her nerves show. Jimmy got off on that--on her fear and, from that, her compliance. Logically, Rose knew she shouldn’t be afraid of Jimmy. Of all the things she’d seen in the last few months, Jimmy was nothing. He was a spider on the wall or a weird shadow in the corner of her room. He was the past, and Rose Tyler had seen the end of the world and Jimmy Stone was just a bad memory. 

Unfortunately, it seemed Rose’s body wasn’t agreeing with the logic. Her hands were shaking and her grip tightened around her laundry bag. Her gaze kept skirting along the edges of the courtyard, looking for an escape, and her feet itched to run back to the TARDIS, slamming the door behind her. 

Instead, she was frozen to the spot, Jimmy’s dark eyes and cruel sneer trapping her in broad daylight when she should be better than this. 

Jimmy quirked an eyebrow—a dangerous sign that Rose still knew the meaning of even after all this time—at her tone, and took a step closer to her. She backed up another foot, but he just followed her. “Wow, he must be some guy, yeah? You coming back here and acting like you’re better than me just cuz some well-doing bloke thinks you’re a decent shag.” Rose’s face flushed red and her hand balled into a fist. 

“Shove off, Jimmy,” Rose hissed, turning on her heel and stomping to the TARDIS. 

“Oh, c’mon, Rose!” Jimmy hassled, following right behind her. She could feel his presence crawling up her back like a swarm of ants. “I just wanna catch up. Maybe we could go down to the pub and get a drink together. Remember how good we were together?” 

Jimmy’s question made Rose freeze mid-step. She spun around to face Jimmy, his face smug and victorious. “You’re jokin’,” she deadpanned. “You can’t be serious. ‘Good together?’“

“‘Course I am,” Jimmy said with an infuriating shrug, stepping even closer to Rose. This time she didn’t back away, anger planting her to the spot this time, instead of fear. 

“We weren’t good together, Jimmy,” Rouse grounded out through clenched teeth. “‘Nd you’re delusional if you think that we were.” 

Jimmy just rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on, Rose. It wasn’t all that bad.” 

Rose opened her mouth, her face red with indignation, to refute him, but no words came out. She huffed and tried again, all the horrible times they had--every scathing word he’d said, every time he’d gotten drunk and yelled at her, every time he pushed her around or did worse, and the thousands of pounds of debt he left her with--playing on repeat in her head like a bad pop song. It was tuneless, painful, and bound to give her a headache, and she never wanted to think about again. 

Seeing as words had failed her, Rose did the next best thing. She slapped him. Hard. 

Jimmy’s head whipped to the side, hair falling in front of his face. Just like she had imagined a hundred times before by the time their relationship ended. For a moment, she was euphoric, the feeling slightly overturning the fury. Then she felt the sting of her palm and the desire to hit him again, this time with a fist. And then, when Jimmy lifted his head, Rose was reacquainted with the special kind of fear reserved just for him. 

“You bitch,” he snarled, striding forward. Rose jumped backwards as he reached for her, but Jimmy moved quicker and snatched the wrist of the hand that she’d struck him with. Rose glanced over at her shoulder at the TARDIS, only ten meters away. She wondered if she broke Jimmy’s grip, if she’d be fast enough to make it. 

A sharp jerk of her arm forced Rose to face Jimmy again. His eyes were livid, a sneer painted on his lips. “I think whatever rich bloke you’ve been warming the bed of has made you forget that you’re just a useless chav whore,” he snarled, leaning into Rose’s space even as she screwed up her face and leaned away. 

“Go to hell, Jimmy,” Rose hissed, ignoring the stining in her eyes. 

Anger flashed in his eyes, and he lifted his free hand—

“Oi!” A sharp, furious shout came from behind Rose. There was a series of sharp, heavy footsteps on the concrete behind Rose as he approached. Jimmy’s eyes lifted to look at the man behind her, but Rose didn’t turn. She wasn’t sure what she’d find in the Doctor’s eyes. 

The Doctor came to stand just behind Rose. “Get your hands off her,” he growled, no doubt staring Jimmy down. After a moment of hesitation, Jimmy released Rose’s wrist, and she immediately stepped back until she could feel the Doctor’s arm brushing up against her back. 

“This him, then,” Jimmy asked, giving the Doctor an appraising look. “Bit old for you, no? Or do you not care who you—”

The Doctor cut him off by striding forward, in front of Rose. “I’d be careful about what you say. Never know who might hear you.” The threat was clear in his voice, and while Jimmy was far from the brightest person on the estate, Rose knew he was good at surviving. Jimmy stepped backwards, hands up in surrender. 

“Meant nothin’ by it, mate. Rose’s just an old friend; right, Rose?” Jimmy looked at her, those god-awful brown eyes boring into her. 

“Go away, Jimmy,” she said, averting her eyes and hating herself for how quiet her voice was. 

When Jimmy hesitated, the Doctor glared at him. “You ‘eard ‘er,” he drawled dangerously. 

Wisely, Jimmy said nothing, the look in the Doctor’s eyes enough to tell him off. He turned around and headed off with a mumbled farewell in Rose’s direction that was less than genuine. 

Rose didn’t wait to see Jimmy scurry across the courtyard before turning around and high-tailing it to the TARDIS. The Doctor caught up to her just as she was opening the doors and stepping inside. 

“You wanna tell me what that was about?” he asked as Rose as she tried to escape the console room. 

“It was nothing,” she said over her shoulder, not bothering to stop. 

“Didn’t look like nothing.” 

Rose simply shrugged, hesitating only for a moment, her heart still racing in her chest as she tried to keep her composure in front of him. Sure, they’d been through a lot together, but that didn’t mean he needed to know about Jimmy and the hundreds of stupid things she’d done before they’d met that night in Hendrick’s. 

“Well, it was,” was all she offered before disappearing into the depths of the TARDIS. 

After Rose dropped her clothes off in her room, she wandered down the TARDIS’s halls, further than she’d ever gone before, to find this strange room of knick knacks and screwed up physics—chairs hung to the walls with no obvious bolts or screws, a chain-linked lamp stood erect in the middle of the floor despite their being no support for it to do so, and the fire in the fireplace seemed to move horizontally, though Rose wasn’t sure about that one. She’d been here ever since, exploring the hidden corners and oddities that were scattered around the room, distracting herself from the memories and shame that were bubbling up from her encounter with Jimmy. 

It was the sound of an opening door that let Rose know that the TARDIS wasn’t on her side. Muttering about meddlesome ships and glaring up at the ceiling—decorated with a gaudy shag rug—while listening to the Doctor’s approaching footsteps. 

He appeared around the corner of a fallen bookcase—or an upright one, depending on where you stood in the room—and when he caught sight of Rose, he stopped at the end of the bookcase. He placed his hands in the pockets of his jacket, his expression unreadable. When it didn’t seem like he was going to speak first, Rose broke the silence. 

“I haven’t seen this room before,” she said, making a show of looking around the room. “Not sure what it’s for, but I like it.” Rose nodded appreciatively, ignoring the growing sense of discomfort. 

“Are you gonna stop lying to me now and tell me what really happened today?” The Doctor asked with a raised eyebrow. “Or are we just gonna pretend that everything’s normal?” 

Rose raised a hand to her mouth, biting at the nail on her thumb. “Pretend everything is normal?” Rose said with a weak smile, but it came out as a question. 

The Doctor leveled her with a look. “C’mon, Rose. Talk to me.” It was a request, not a demand, and the unusually soft expression on his face, his eyes pleading with her to open up, made her want to do just that. 

Rose sighed, the tension draining from her shoulders. “His name’s Jimmy,” she stated lamely, realizing belatedly he’d probably heard her call him Jimmy already. “We dated—a long time ago. Before Mickey, obviously. Met him while I was still in school.” She shifted awkwardly on her feet, the words she wanted to stay stuck in her throat. She saw a couple of chairs—an orange armchair and a tall beige ottoman-type thing—over by a tall plant in the corner and walked over, plopping down in the armchair. The Doctor followed her, sitting down on the ottoman. She wrapped her arms around herself, turning to face the Doctor. His striking blue eyes soft, but intense. 

“You don’t have to tell me, Rose, if you don’t want to,” he said kindly. “But I want you to know that you can.” 

Rose nodded, emotion struggling to strangle her. “I know, I know. ‘Nd I do want to tell you, I just don’t like thinking about it.” 

“Then just tell me the basics. Don’t need to go into detail,” the Doctor offered. Rose drew in a breath. The basics—she could do that. She let the breath out and started to talk. 

“I met Jimmy when I was 14. He was 18 and the lead singer in the band. He dropped out of school to become a musician with his friends. When I was 15, he asked me out, and we started dating. At first, it was really good. He was kind and sweet, took me on really great dates, but. . . well, it didn’t last.” 

Rose sighed and drew her feet up onto the chair to wrap her arms around them, risking a glance over at the Doctor. He nodded at her slightly, encouraging her to continue. 

“When I was sixteen, Jimmy said that I should drop out and get a job—told me I was wasting my time with school and all. I believed him and the next thing I know we’re livin’ together in this dank bedsit, working at a corner store, and I’ve stopped talking to mum.” Tears sting Rose’s eyes, but she sniffs and refuses to let them fall. “We had such a big fight that night,” she says, more to herself than to the Doctor.

“It was a couple months after that happened that things started to get bad between us. Jimmy, he’d come home drunk and yelling, and when he had a gig, it’d be worse.” Rose remembered when he’d swan off with some girl, acting like it meant nothing and wasn’t tearing Rose up inside. “It only got worse when money got tight. I started working two jobs, and since I wasn’t around as much, the apartment just got dirtier and dirtier cuz Jimmy wasn’t cleanin’. He was just drinking with his mates and pretendin’ he had any chance at making it as a musician.” Rose scoffed, tears burning her throat and her eyes, remembering how stupid she’d been. 

“Did he hit you?” the Doctor asked softly. She turned her head to look at him. Slowly, she nodded.

“Not often,” she whispered. “But. . .sometimes—sometimes he’d just get so angry, and I didn’t know what to do, and whatever I did do seemed to only make him angrier.” Her voice shook, and the tears started to fall from her eyes. Rose buried her head in her arms, crying softly. 

She heard as the Doctor stood from the ottoman, and stepped in front of her. Felt his hands as he placed them on her shoulders and kneeled down. Rose looked up from her lap, his face only a few inches away from her own. 

“Want me to throw him into a sun?” the Doctor offered. “‘Cause I can think of a couple of good ones—temperature low enough he might feel something before it kills him.” Rose couldn’t help the laugh that burst from her. 

“Nah,” she shook her head, a watery smile on her face. ���Cuz then he’d say ‘It’s bigger on the inside’ and he doesn’t deserve that.” The Doctor smiled softly, bringing a hand to her cheek. His touch was tender and warm, despite the body temperature difference. 

“No, he doesn’t,” he agreed. “But if he ever comes near you again, I’m going to shoot him with my laser eyes.”

Rose snorted. “You don’t have laser eyes.” 

“Mickey thought I did.” 

[princess-pine-cone]

[accio-motivation]

[khruschevshoe]

You think being dumped by text is hard? Imagine being one of the Tenth Doctor's exes (or not-quite-exes, we're counting brutal platonic break-ups here too).

[calmingthoughtsinyourhead]

Do you ever think about how the RTD companion kisses perfectly sum up their relationships with the Doctor?

The doctor kissed (and kinda died for) Rose to save her

The doctor kissed Martha because he was using her

And Donna kissed the Doctor to save him

[soapywankenopy]

I really do hate when people ship the doctor with his/their companions

Ik the literal writers do it all the time so it's baked in

Doesn't mean I hate it any less

Especially when it's 12 and Clara

It's so icky I hate it

Honestly my only major exception is 12 and River, I feel like there was still a major power imbalance and the Doctor's relationship with River was super messed up anyway but 12 and River were actually really cute and had good chemistry.

Sorry for the mini rant but you should expect this of me by now

[jacaela]

"I loved her [Sarah Jane Smith] . And Rose."

And no River-Sue-Song? We won??? I still haven't watched the episode, but rtd gives some hope.

[feral-and-chaotic]

See. I like the fact that all of the Tennant companions get a Tennant. Rose has the metacrisis doctor. Donna has 14. And we all know that Donna and Martha are besties, after the sontaran episodes AND stolen earth. So! Martha can visit on weekends. :DDD

Additionally Jack can pop over from Cardiff to say hi because he is also besties with Martha. And Donna became sarcastic buddies with him after Stolen Earth (also also Jack needs friends after children of the earth and miracle day)

[solarduckarts]

can I just say how much I hate, hate, HATE, the human nature and the family of blood episodes SO MUCH.

like they genually wanted me to feel anything about the "life Jonh Smith could have" like man get out of there, that is just so dumb considering how badly they treat Martha THE WHOLE SEASON, and they want me to feel SAD about the life the doctor could have with this random white woman but could never love Martha? you just know that the roles would change real fast if Rose was the one looking out for Jonh insted of Martha.

[wht-am-i-doin]

what if ruby is actually rose’s daughter from the parallel world

[secretagentsagainstwhatever]

‘Dazzling starlet Bardot reincarnate’

‘Well aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?’

[riverswaltz]

growing up is realizing why rose chose tentoo over ten

[mattiebluebird]

My controversial DW opinion is that I don't care for Rose (or Amy). Sorry

[tardistism]

[image description: a screenshot from The Monsters Inside by Stephen Cole. It reads: “You're in prison, she told herself, with an uneasy feeling of fear and shame. Mum always said it would be Mickey who'd end up inside, not me.” end image description]

reading the monsters inside by stephen cole and trying very hard not to be angry at this quote by rose.

this and jackie accusing mickey of murder is bad for the first black character in nuwho. that’s bad enough but then you add him being constantly sidelined and being the butt of the joke and it’s even worse.

i am tired

[thelittlecoughsomewhere]

TenRose shippers who don't like her canon ending are sooo valid btw.

I talk so little about her on my blog but I love Rose. Especially season 1 Rose. I don't like how she was sometimes written in later seasons.

And I don't like her ending. The doctor just banishes her to a domestic life with his human clone in a parallel universe and she doesn't really get a say in it??? She barely gets granted dialogue in her last scene with him. And to me it really read like Rose accepting the fate the Doctor chose for her and "making do" instead of making an autonomous choice. And it has always sat wrong with me.

Doctor Who really was the No-agency-for-women show in Journey's end, what with the Doctor effectively deciding over the fate of two female companions: Rose and Donna.

Russell should not have brought her back in season 4. Or he should have written and directed the last scene on the beach differently and making it Rose who suggests for Tentoo to stay with her in the paralell world.

I don't know. The whole human clone doctor feels unsatisfying for me, for similiar reason why I don't like the bigeneration.

[bakamoonyasf]

Layers of Scar

The Doctor was tired, his eyes stinging, his head pounding. But he kept himself upright, he had to. He looked down at Martha, a wound on her head that made him want to take her back home and keep her safe forever. It was a feeling of guilt. But Martha was stubborn and would never let the Doctor do that, she was a fighter. The fierce light in her eyes reminded him of Rose sometimes, and both his hearts would plummet.

“You good there Doc?” Martha asks him, raising an eyebrow, pulling her hair into a ponytail.

“Yeah.. great.”

She grins, grabbing his hand, “Well come on then! More places to see! You promised me we’d go somewhere fabulous next.”

He put on a forced smile, letting her drag him back towards his TARDIS. They’d just been on what was meant to be a fabulous adventure, yet as always it ended in danger and disaster. Sometimes the Doctor thought he just made bad events happen around him, then again, sometimes the TARDIS just knew where to take him.

He shook away his thoughts, stepping into the TARDIS and pressing a bunch of buttons as Martha grinned at him. The old girl made her usual whirring noises and the Doctor couldn’t help but genuinely smile as they moved through time and space.

 

Once again their adventure had gone horribly wrong – possibly the Doctor’s fault, he had seemed to accidentally angered the aliens that were trying to take over this innocent planet. It was an accident, he kept on reminding Martha, but she didn’t seem too bothered.

It scared the Doctor a little bit, how eager and prepared Martha was for all the dangers that faced him. Again, it reminded him of Rose. Oh, Rose. He missed Rose.

He squeezed his eyes shut, jolting himself back into the present moment. After all they were still on the run from furious aliens.

“Come on Doc!” Martha yelled, her brown eyes widening as she noticed said aliens appearing around the corner.

Grabbing her hand, the Doctor quickly pulled them both in the opposite direction, his hearts pounding. But soon enough they found themselves at a dead end, the Doctor almost wanted to swear (but held himself back).

Martha glanced at him, suddenly her once brave eyes filled with fear as she looked at the approaching creatures.

“You have a plan right Doctor?” She asked, her voice shaking.

It was then as the Doctor looked into her terrified eyes that something in him resolved. He couldn’t save Rose but he sure as hell could save Martha.

“Something like that,” He mumbled before turning towards the aliens, dropping Martha’s hand and taking a deep breath. “You don’t want to go any further!”

The creatures growled – the Doctor still wasn’t too sure what they were, he was almost certain some scientist had created them through hybrids – but slowed to a stop.

“I am the Doctor. The last of the Time Lords.” He said angrily, “If you want power than here it is. Have it. Take me.”

He yelled, opening his arms in welcome. The aliens tittered, considering their choice. Behind him Martha yelled.

“Doctor! What are you doing?”

He turned towards her, his eyes almost red with anger, his hearts tight with pain – not physical but emotional.

“Saving you.” He told her simply, and for a brief moment he imagined Rose was in her place. Her blonde hair falling on her shoulders and her brown eyes glittering. But Martha stood in her place, an exasperated but also horrified expression on her face.

“You can’t just sacrifice yourself Doctor!” Martha yelled angrily, “You can’t just leave me here.”

The Doctor closed his eyes, almost hearing Rose screaming to be taken back to him. He opened them again, tears now glistening in his eyes.

He glared at the aliens in front of him, taking a step closer as they began drawing their weapons.

“Doctor!” Martha screamed.

He whipped around, tears flowing down his cheeks, “Why won’t you just let me do this for you, Rose?!”

Martha stumbled back like she’d been hit in the face and the Doctor gulped fearfully in realisation.

“I-I’m-” He mumbled, but Martha just ignored him, stepping forward and glaring at the aliens.

“You back the fuck up!” She screamed, pulling out a gun from her pocket – a gun the Doctor didn’t know she had. “Or I’ll kill each and every one of you.”

 

Later, on the TARDIS, the Doctor sat solemnly in his chair. He was angry at himself, angry at himself for acting as if Martha was Rose. Because she wasn’t. They were so very different.

The look of pain on Martha’s face seemed to be seared into his mind. He wanted to go up to her and apologise but Martha had chosen to go home. As soon as they’d returned to the TARDIS she’d told him to drop her off and pick her up in a week.

He knew he could just time travel straight there and be with her now, but he also knew he needed to take some time. He needed time to make peace with the fact that Rose was gone. And that Martha wasn’t Rose. And she shouldn’t be a replacement.

Guilt churned in his stomach. He just wanted to see Rose, one last time. To see her and hold her and tell her he loved her. He never got to tell her. He could remember the words almost falling out of his lips. But then she was gone. And he’d never be able to see her again.

The Doctor almost fell apart right there, remembering Rose’s tear-stained face, and the feeling of losing her for a second time.

He shut his eyes, he needed a break. He needed help.

But maybe, just maybe, he could see her again. After all, there were years before Rose ever met the Doctor. And as long as she never saw him nothing would happen.

The Doctor glanced at the TARDIS and felt her hum disapprovingly.

“I just want to see her again… to see her happy.” The Doctor whispered, but the TARDIS didn’t respond. Maybe she needed a break from him, just like Martha.

Maybe everyone needed a break from him.

And so the Doctor pressed some buttons and shot himself out into a part of time and space where no one would find him. And there he would stay, for a week, and try to heal the layers of scar surrounding his two hearts.

He missed Rose Tyler so much. But he missed Martha too, and he knew he had to heal before he could travel with her again.