#romantically non conforming

[peculiar-labels]

Romantically Non-Conforming (RNC, RomNC)

Under the Non-Conforming Attraction umbrella.

Romantically Non-Conforming refers to those who do not conform to society's romantic lifestyle views. This includes, but isn't limited to:

Aromantic individuals and those on the aromantic spectrum.

Individuals who are romance-ambivalent, romance-neutral/romance-indifferent, romance-averse, or romance-repulsed.

When one is disinterested, dislikes, or is repulsed by romantic activities.

Romanceless and romantically loveless individuals.

Those who are both romance-repulsed and alloromantic.

Those with romantic attraction but not doing some or any romantic actions.

Those who do not have romantic attraction but desire to be in or are in a romantic relationship.

Etc. for anything I may have missed!

[Image description: a flag with five stripes. The colors in order are green, gray, white, gray, and salmon pink.]

Flag Meaning:

Green represents aro-spec individuals.

Gray represents being in the gray area and non-conformity.

White represents community.

Salmon pink represents alloromantic individuals.

━ coined by me back in 2021

Feel free to make terms under the non-conforming attraction umbrella, just ping me when you do!

[pkmn-edits]

Random Pokemon x random Pride flags edit!

[something-wicked-within-me]

Silly little WL au of mine,,,,

Against all odds, PICS stay together. Or, at least, the GGGs do - Impulse is the one to team with Gem and Joel. He leaves around Session 2.

It's episode 9. The final confrontation. They're all on red - most of the other teams have already fallen, aside from a few stragglers, and it's the GGGS vs Gem, Joel and Impulse ("GIJ", they've affectionately dubbed themselves, so their catchphrase could be "the gij's up!").

"Pearl," Gem pleads. "Please. Come with me! We can be Soup Group again! Well — plus Joel, but... Soup Group! Come on. Don't you remember Murder Camel? We can destroy those guys! Please. You don't need them. Let me save you." "Oh, Gem..." Pearl's eyes soften, as she strides forward, lowering her sword to cup Gem's cheek in her hand. The deer-hybrid leans into the wolf's touch. A deer trying to save a wolf. How pathetic. Gem gasps as she feels Pearl slot a sword between her ribs. The fawn looks up, horrified, her face almost betraying betrayal... though, that would be the wrong term, because betrayal required them being allies in the first place! They'd never been allies. Let alone friends. "You want to save me? Please. I don't need saving. I'm right where I want to be." Pearl was sick of people telling her who she should be with - what she should want, do, think, be. She knew exactly what she wanted. She wanted Cleo. She wanted Scott. And she wanted this deer to rot. She allowed Gem's corpse to fall to the ground with a cold smirk. Nothing but roadkill. Then, she stepped back to her real team, her real friends, her darling partners. Gem was an absolute idiot if she thought she'd betray them. Pearl gave Cleo a peck on her forehead above her forebrow's stitch, and kisses Scott's star-littered nose. Affectionately, Scott wiped the blood off her cheeks with his thumb, like she'd gotten a bit messy eating an ice cream cone and hadn't just killed a rogue roe. She giggled. "Guess the gig's up for the gijs," Pearl couldn't help but mock the dead doe, and Cleo rolled her eyes teasingly at her pun as the two mollycoddled. "The gijs are almost up. Now, come on," Cleo pulled Pearl's sword out of Gem's forgotten corpse while Scott and Pearl were peppering each other with nose-kisses like it was a competition — was it rude of them to be bill and cooing in front of Gem's dead body? Probably!— and offered the weapon to Pearl in the same way a queen might offer a knight back their blade. Once, Cleo might have hesitated to hand her a weapon, but not anymore. Running a blade through each other's backs now would be like running a blade through their own. "We've got an Impulse to catch."

[rotkeres]

Romantically Non-Conforming + Sexually Non-Conforming pixels

[blluespirit]

the level of BRAINROT that shipping has caused in fandom circles is unfathomable to me btw. like two characters will like Be Nice to each and maybe even.... become friends... and next thing I know there's 50+ dissertation length posts discussing how these two characters are made for each other and if the writers do anything but make them canon then they shall be hunted for sport. anyone in fandom that disagrees will be hung drawn and quartered.

[luck-13]

reblog and put in the tags what your current obsession/hyperfixation is

[skys-archive]

I think in honor of pride month and also in general forever we should stop trying fit queer people into the identities we think they should call themselves.

And I know no one is going to see this because no one ever does but I'm going to talk about it anyway because this is important.

Bisexual doesn't mean you don't date trans people, it doesn't mean you like men and women, it doesn't mean you can't have a preference. Someone can identify as polysexual or bisexual or omnisexual and have no preference and you don't get to say that that means they're pansexual. Because no, if they don't identify as pansexual then they're not pansexual.

Transmasc doesn't mean you use he/him pronouns. It doesn't mean you identify as a man. Transfem doesn't mean you use she/her pronouns. It doesn't mean you identify as a woman. You can be nonbinary or genderqueer or agender or any gender that isn't binary and not use they/them pronouns. You can use any of those labels and still identify as a man or a woman. You can use different pronouns than is typically used for your birth sex and not consider yourself transgender. People can be gender non conforming and not he trans. People can be trans and not gender non conforming.

A trans man can be fem. A trans woman can be masc. Nonbinary people don't owe you androgyny. Intersex people don't owe you androgyny. Intersex people are people, they deserve way more attention than a way to one up transphobes. Intersex people face discrimination and body altering surgeries without their consent and then are only ever talked about to say "some cis women have penises" or "some people have an extra x chromosome" and then we never talk about the struggle they face as part of the queer community.

Asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum. Some aces like sex, some aces are repulsed, some aces only experience sexual attraction to one person or once in their life, some aces need a deep emotional bond, some aces their attraction changes. Some aros change identities. Some aros are repulsed by romance unless it's a fictional character. Some aros have romantic feelings until they get to know someone. Some aros crave a romantic relationship but never have romantic feelings. You don't get to say someone isn't asexual or aromantic enough.

Asexuality and aromanticism is having a unique relationship with romance or sexual feelings and impulses. Someone who is transgender has a unique experience with gender. You don't get to decide that they don't have a unique experience. But guess what? You don't get to decide if they do either. Someone can have a unique experience and still not identify as asexual aromantic or transgender. You can cross dress and still fully feel like a man. You can use he/him pronouns as a cis women. You can have trauma around sex and not identify as asexual. You can never have a romantic relationship and not identify as aromantic.

You can have "contradicting" labels. I don't know as many of these because I don't personally identify as any but please fell welcome to add in reblogs. There are trans men lesbians and gay women. There are sex loving asexuals. I know there are others I just genuinely am not educated enough.

YOU DONT GET TO CHOOSE SOMEONES LABELS

ANYONE CAN EITHER IDENTIFY OR NOT IDENTIFY AS QUEER

Please feel welcome to add anything in reblogs. I'm sure there's things I've missed. I haven't talked about neopronouns I haven't talked enough about "contradicting" labels. I haven't talked about queer platonic relationships or kink or polyamory or enough about intersex people or pronouns vs gender. There's so much important things but at the end of the day it's just so important to not choose other people's labels.

[johnbrand]

BACS

With @mrrharper

“Hopkins,” the coach said curtly to the buff guard at the gate. The security officer barely seemed to register him as a person, rather just an item on his list to check off. Once he was allowed to proceed, Coach Hopkins entered into the corridor and proceeded to the farthest room. Quite frankly, the coach embodied everything a man should be at his age: big, strong, rich. Running one of the country’s top collegiate teams meant he was often provided with ample checks. But an investor had been hinting that the meeting he was about to attend would only raise his profits higher. And now standing before the other guests, Coach Hopkins believed this investor was not mistaken.

Feeling mighty pleased with himself, and honestly a bit haughty, the coach scanned the room, taking in all the other broad, strapping men. There was Coach Larson from one of the major east coast schools, Coach McNamara from the private military academy that swept the competition every year. Coach Hopkins recognized another prominent coach from California, but could not place his name. There were a few more men in the room, engaging in casual conversation about work, but the atmosphere in the space was mildly tense. Instead of acquainting himself with others, Coach Hopkins took a seat and remained there until the presentation began. 

“Gentleman,” the host began. The suit that covered his large frame appeared painted on, tight against his skin. A former collegiate athlete who had stayed in shape; Coach Hopkins could not help but take a moment to respect the work. “Invited amongst you today are some of your finest colleagues in the field. Hopefully you all know why you are here, so we will skip past the pleasantries and get right to the presentation.”

Behind the host, the wall suddenly began to glow. A soft light filtered upon it before focusing on colors and images. Eventually, the display became clear, showcasing live camera footage inside an empty male restroom.

“We believed the best way to explain our product was to show how it works,” the host started slyly. Coach Hopkins watched as the door to the restroom opened, revealing a young college-aged male. By his medium build and uniform, the coach assumed he could have been in lacrosse, baseball, or even a non-tackling football player. His third guess was correct.

“Before us is Dawson Welch, a decent transfer from an undisclosed Division III school. Originally holding potential, he has not yet conformed to our nationwide protocol, otherwise known as BACS for short.”

The four words were then flashed in red at the bottom of the screen. A silly acronym, but one that worked nonetheless.

Beefy          Aggressive          Cocky          Straight

“Our case study is about to demonstrate the results of our program,” the host smiled.

There were a few murmurs from the other men. The California coach even shifted a bit, slightly uncomfortable at what he was about to witness. Coach Hopkins remained silent, observing the subject. By his size and careful actions, he could already identify that three of the required four set standards were missing.

“Tyler?” Dawson called out into the room. “Baby, it’s alright, I’m here now.” The coach nodded with confirmation for the fourth characteristic. Grabbing his phone, the host then sent a simple text message. Thanks to the live camera, the men could all watch as the subject’s own device buzzed. Timidly opening it, Dawson checked his phone.

“Ok Tyler, I am going to open the link you sent me,” Dawson called out, unaware the link was not actually sent from his romantic interest. As if already suspecting the lurking danger behind the text, the subject slowly tapped the link and let it proceed forward. The room lit up in a flash, even blinding the live camera temporarily. The audio did not shut off, but the stream went quiet. Moments later, the men were reoriented back into the restroom.

Murmurs flew around the space once more. A few of their faces displayed shock at the screen presented before them. Coach Hopkins held stoic, but his eyes bore straight on. The scene before him was almost entirely the same. Nothing had changed, except for the subject.

“Gone are the days of your players attending frivolous seminars and engaging in anti-anything protests. Thanks to our technology, we can now guarantee your boys will be real, undeniably American men.” 

Where once stood the rather average athletic young male was now a bulky creature. He was taller, brawnier, and brutish. His uniform had been replaced with a tight, all-black outfit to better display his offerings. The sleeveless tank outlined massive pecs, broad shoulders, a thick core, and made his cannon-like arms bulge out of his sides like an oversized action figure. The running shorts appeared more like briefs, searing into the monstrous thighs that led down to steel calves and feet so large they could not be accommodated at most shoe outlets. Speaking of briefs, Coach Hopkins noted the subject was no longer wearing any; a thick python and a low-hanging set were peeking out of one of the leg holes. 

By the gigantic size, the host could easily confirm his product met the first criteria. And by the backwards cap, arrogant grin, and constant man-handling, the men in the room were all able to confirm the second and third on their own. They had been around these types long enough to know the signs.

“What was I doing anyway, bro?” Dawson asked himself in a voice deeper and duller than his previous offerings. After scratching at his thick pubes and giving it a sniff, an idea suddenly sprung into the subject’s head. Coach Hopkins could sense the process of thinking was a more difficult procedure now then it had been before. “Right, I was gonna see if that chick from last night still wanted to get laid tonight. What was her name, Jenna? Brianna? Maybe she’d be a good lil girl and bag me a threesome? God, that’s so hot…”

The stream cut off shortly after, but not before the subject’s continual groping started to awaken his massive dong. The last image was frozen onto the screen, with Dawson preparing the classic flexed picture his predatory nature utilized to ensnare victims.

“So what do you say, gentlemen,” the host sneered. “Would anyone like to try our trial package?”

[maevesweirdart]

i’m incredibly lonely and i have no idea what you look/present like, so i can’t say i’m not interested tbh 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

[doubleca5t]

I love hanging out with other sapphic tgirls but I desperately need more butch friends. Butch culture is so aspirational to me: the gender non-conformity, the rejection of many of the worst aspects of beauty standards, the ideal of a chivalrous desire to be of service as best you can to the woman you love, the ability to look incredibly hot in outfits I would have looked like absolute dogshit in if I wore them back when I was a man. Like don't get me wrong I enjoy the unabashed nerdiness and chaotic, sexual depravity that you get from transbians but something about old school dykes is very romantic to me. They're the kind of women that you'd want to sweep you off your feet and that's just such a beautiful way to live

[crimson--freak]

For Aromantic Visibility Day, I want to share my respect and praise for:

aros, arospecs, aros who rarely/weakly feel romantic attraction, aros whose romantic attraction grows or fades, aros whose romantic attraction spikes or fluctuates,

aros who previously felt romantic attraction but no longer do (for no reason, for nebulous reasons, or for specific reasons such as trauma), aros who never felt romantic attraction and never will, aros who may feel romantic attraction in the future, aros who look back on their “crushes” and realised those feeling weren’t romantic at all

aros who desire a romantic relationship, aros who don’t, aros who are indifferent, aros who are completely averse or repulsed

aros who feel romantic attraction only to fictional characters, aros who only feel romantic attraction to themselves

aros in romantic relationships, aros in non romantic relationships, aros who are nonpartnering, aros who are polyamorous, aros who use relationship anarchy to define their relationships

aros who enjoy the idea of romantic relationships but would not have one themselves, aros who do not want their romantic attraction reciprocated, aros who do not feel romantic attraction until someone else feels it first

aros who enjoy reading about romantic relationships, aros who write romantic relationships, aros who wish they could find anything other than romantic relationships in media

aros who are allosexual, aros who are neutral on sexual attraction, aros who don’t factor in their sexual attraction, aros who are ace or acespec, aros who are aplatonic or aplspec, aros who are anattractional, aros who are aspec in a multitude of different ways

aros who are loveless, heartless, lovequeer, amatopunk, voidpunk and several other “punks” relating to their stances on the idea of romantic attraction and love

you are all amazing people and you are not “broken” or “wrong” for not conforming to society’s amatonormative values. You are you, unique and marvellous, and that is what matters

[burst-of-iridescent]

the thing about the ember island play is that though it is certainly inaccurate, it is distorted - not false.

the whole point of the play is that the gaang do recognize aspects of themselves - their mistakes and desires and choices - in it! aang is cheerful and traditionally non-masculine, katara is intrinsically hopeful, toph is strong and doesn't conform to social norms of femininity, sokka is comedic, and zuko was obsessed with regaining his honour.

the reason it affects them at all is because it does hold a kernel of truth - because, though exaggerated, it draws upon traits, actions and relationships that genuinely exist. and so having katara call aang her brother and implying real romantic feelings between zuko and katara in this episode where every supposed exaggeration is underscored by reality only lends credence to those implications instead of dismissing them.

after all, if the play was meant to spoof zutara... it can only be because there was indeed something real to spoof in the first place.

[buildingmycottage]

I saw a post here on Tumblr once that went something like "in a world where god, Jesus, and the apostles are all men, that has to do something psychologically to women" and it made me think: The Netflix version of the show "She-Ra Princess of Power" is a show that is HEAVILY women centric. We know maybe three guys in power, King Micah (who, after his return from Beast Island, wasn't *really* in power), the head sorcerer in Mystacor, Hordak/Horde Prime. (please do correct me if I am wrong) The show, albeit about princesses, has the princesses have actual roles. Even the ones that are "weak" or perceived to be weaker than the others (read: Perfuma), are extremely powerful.

The two men whom we consistently meet in the show other than Hordak, Bow and Seahawk, are not the "macho man" in most shows. Seahawk sings an entire shanty as to how lonely he is and how he just wants to be friends with Mermista, and Bow cries and even hugs frequently all the other characters in the show. Both talk about their emotions and work through them in /relatively/ healthy ways (the Dragon's Daughters 1-3 will be sorely missed). My point being, is that the women in the show are shown as strong, beautiful, muscular, fierce, sad, frustrated, loving, traumatized, hurt, laughing, and more. They all have different body shapes/ types of bodies. There are three openly gay couples: Bow's dads, Spinerella and Netossa, and Catra and Adora. Incredible! In a kids show (and adults too lets be real) there are three openly gay couples. No one treats them any different. Bow is one of 13 kids of George and Lance. No one bats an eye. In fact, according to She-Ra Wiki page (https://she-raandtheprincessesofpower.fandom.com/wiki/LGBTQIAP%2B), so many characters are queer. Besides the ones listed above: - Scorpia and Perfuma are romantically involved - Bow is Bisexual - Glimmer is Bisexual - Mermista is Bisexual - Seahawk is Bisexual (dated Falcon) - Falcon is Gay - Lonnie is Poly and Bisexual (dating Rogelio and Kyle) - by extension Rogelio and Kyle are queer - Entrapta is bi - Jewelstar is trans - Peekablue is gender non-conforming - Double Trouble is nonbinary and there is MORE In the show, as there are a ton of non humans, almost any time we meet someone, she/her pronouns are used (see episodes when Best Friend Squad are in the crimson waste). Can't you see how amazing this is? A show where there are no one-dimensional characters, women are constantly having intelligent conversation with one another, women are leaders, women working together, openly queer characters, and a beautiful plot line where there's magic???? When the princesses work together, they turn into the colors of the rainbow and their powers are enhanced. Little girls are getting to see themselves as normal. Women aren't treated as secondary citizens. Hell, almost every Bright Moon guard we see is female. How would the world be different if shows like this were the norm? Where women are able to be magical, and they aren't dressed to show off their bodies? Where women's armor actually protects them? Where they grunt and are sweating after they fight? Where womens' love wins? Why can't this be normal? (Happy Pride!)

[genderkoolaid]

When photographer and filmmaker Grace Pickering was introduced to the work of trans activist Lou Sullivan, it completely changed their life. Born in 1951, Sullivan is thought of as the world’s first documented gay trans man – though, of course, trans people have likely been around for far, far longer. His collated diaries from 1961 – 1991, We Both Laughed in Pleasure, are a pioneering piece of queer literature, or “a radical testament to trans happiness,” as The New Yorker once put it. “Before learning about Lou, I didn’t really understand my identity,” Grace says over breakfast at the art’otel in Hoxton, East London. “He opened my mind up to the fact that so many of my own thoughts were related to my transness – that you could be a dyke fag, I think is the term. He put everything into perspective for me.” It makes sense, then, for Grace to have named their first solo exhibition after Lou’s seminal work. We Both Laughed in Pleasure, which opened last week at the art’otel, is based around a short film Grace shot of their friends and peers, in a bid to shed light on a lesser known facet of the trans experience: transmasculinity and, crucially, transmasc people whose lives are full – of joy, friendship, professional and romantic success. “I wanted to show the nuanced lives that people have,” Grace continues. “Whenever I see transmasc people represented, it’s in quite a stereotypically male way, which I know sounds quite funny. But I think being transmasc is its own thing – me and my friends identify as gay men, even though out in the world I will more than likely be treated as a woman. It’s a different culture.” Alongside the film, which was produced by Greatcoat Films and commissioned by art’otel, Grace will exhibit a series of images inspired by historical trans and nonbinary figures, such as Joan of Arc, who has often been thought of as gender non-conforming; Schuyler Bailar, the legendary openly trans swimmer; and Gladys Bentley, a Harlem musician who would regularly get thrown into jail for the way they dressed in the 1930s. ​“Gladys would play at jazz clubs and was infamous in that area,” Grace says. ​“The police would routinely raid the place and arrest them. Gladys would spend the night in a cell and come right back the next day, in their three-piece suit and top hat. And yet they’ve been historically written about as a butch lesbian, despite living as a man. I was interested in showing that.”

from Down in the dumps? Laugh in pleasure at this exhibition

[yellowocaballero]

i very much enjoy the extremely scientific analysis of the naruto verse in which there are three genders, aka naruto, sasuke, and Woman.

AM I WRONG? AM I WRONG? pulls down projection screen and plays powerpoint

Obviously let's give room for nuance. A ton of Naruto characters don't fall into these gender norms. This does predominantly apply to the rampant proliferation of the three-person dynamics that were assigned by the government and dictate your entire life. And, like, society. It does not end. Gender isn't a biological factor in Naruto, it's a social dynamic constructed entirely by your homoerotic tension with other men. And there are so many.

Madara (S), Hashirama (N), Mito (W). Izuna (N) and Tobirama (S) - tragically, Izuna died before women could be invented. Sarutobi (N), Danzo (S, horrifically) - see above about women not being invented yet. Jiraiya (N), Orochimaru (S), Tsunade (W). Yahiko (N), Nagato (S), Konan (W). Obito (N), Kakashi (S), Rin (W). Shisui (N), Itachi (S), that little deeply unimportant girlfriend (W). Um, fucking, Naruto (N), Sasuke (S), Sakura (W). Even - even, fuckin, Rock Lee (N), Neiji (S), Tenten (W).

And what do they all have in common????

(OT3. They're all OT3s. Is what I'm saying).

There is some room for alternative gender expressions here, like being butch or femme. Naruto gender expressions: teacher, otouto, woman who you can't even tell is woman gendered because she has no backstory but you just have to kinda assume that she has a polycule-based backstory where she was Woman Gender. I feel almost as if 2/3rds of the Rookie 9 are liberated from this. InoShikaCho just doesn't fit (their chaotic cousin energy is just too strong and Ino's too much of a lesbian). Hinata's too busy being defined entirely by a different throuple's N to have codependent dynamics with her own N and S (and I'm hesitant to even say that, since I actually don't know if Kiba and Shino have a codependent rivalry - do they?).

I get, like, the reason for all of this. Curse of Hatred. Cycles. N and S Genders being sourced from demigods or something. Narrative parallelism. Sympathy points. It's not the bad guy's fault he's evil, his N and W gendered counterparts died :(. But an extremely strange side-effect of this is that all of the male characters are, like, Just Naruto or Just Sasuke. But the vast majority of the female characters are - like, completely defined by the men in their lives - but also they are more likely to be a unique person. Mito, Sakura, and Rin have actually nothing in common. Writing so sexist it creates more interesting characters?!?!

Unironically, this is why I'm always saying that Sasunaru is the ship of all time, nothing will ever top it, you will NEVER do it like Sasunaru, etc. Every important relationship in the series is meant to evoke Sasunaru. (Notably, none of the explicitly romantic ones. But we're beyond such paltry understandings of the most iconic pairing of all time as fundamentally based in romance. We're operating on a higher level than that). This unbroken chain of toxic yaoi has culminated at the end point of Sasunaru, and it exists to parallel Sasunaru and define their relationship by the dysfunction of generations of tragedy. That's why Naruto has to consciously break the cycle and free them from the generational hate - it was the only way to save Sasuke. This is also why I'm always saying that Sasunaru is the point of Naruto, and that the entirety of Naruto is about Sasunaru. Come back to me when your work has invented new genders in the all-encompassing pursuit of toxic yaoi.

This also means that the only truly gender non-conforming individuals in Naruto are its mightiest heterosexuals: Minato (W) and Kushina (N). Truly insane. The N/S/W configuration is the societal norm, it's bonkers to make a major good-aligned male character a wifeguy. By Naruto standards Minato and Kushina are the only queer couple.

[goldxnfemme]

I'll make this its own post, because of the amount of people that have asked.

Let's talk the difference between feminine lesbians and femme lesbians.

Feminine is a form of presentation, it speaks directly to how you present.

Femme doesn't mean feminine lesbian, because regardless of the fact that some femmes are feminine/hyper feminine, not all feminine lesbians are femme, not all femmes are standardly feminine (usually most aren't), some are explicitly gender non conforming.

Femme as I talk about on this post and on my blog is more of a community role, based in the butch/femme community, that has a long history from bar culture. Femme inherently relates to subverting femininity from cishet standards and towards the community, making it our own. These identities (butch and femme) involve social, erotic, emotional reasons/intentions and contexts, ways of looking, loving and living expressed by a community.

Simply put, when I'm talking butch and femme, I mean people who are two sides of the same coin and have historically respected and backed each other up and been home and safety to each other, even without any romantic inclinations, that usually subvert traditional understanding of femininity and masculinity. There's a lot of deconstructing gender and taking matters of femininity and masculinity in our own ways, which can mean as mentioned previously that femmes can be, and a lot of the time are, as gender non conforming as butches and also, a lot of the time, not cis, because sometimes people outside these circles look at these identities through a very cis centered white lens.

Which is why, I want also clarify that it's important that the notion of femme not become limited by the hyper feminine white idea of it as well. That's easily ingrained in us and it's good to be conscious of it.