#robert jenrick

[useless-englandfacts]

at this point it’s your own fault if you expected tories to be normal (source)

[komododraggggqueen]

every tory leadership ballot be like: here are your choices, generic politician human-person, or the single most insane person you’ve ever seen in your life, and somehow, every single time,

[changing-my-username]

Yeah? I wonder why that might be

[dalesramblingsblog]

This might actually be the first time in human history that Jacob Rees-Mogg's name has been mentioned in the same postal code as "reform," oml.

[dadsinsuits]

Robert Jenrick

[ceevee5]

[animanightmate]

Legions of Doom

Yeah, so my country’s leaders have decided to double-down on the anti-immigration rhetoric that they shamefully manipulated then rode to get them into power. You know, because that worked so well for Brexit. Let’s keep pushing that classic. One of the first things our newish PM, Rishi Sunak (note: a son of immigrants), did was to announce that they were going to be cracking down on the “small boats” - i.e. the ones that desperate people use to reach these shores. Pretty despicable, right? Don’t worry, our “anti-woke” Tory Party in charge has barely got started.

You may already have heard about the plan headed up by Suella Braverman (another child of immigrants), UK Home Secretary (reinstated after being fired for being a security risk) to deport “illegal immigrants” to Rwanda, an expensive (and apparently illegal) notion that hasn’t really got off the ground yet, and you might be thinking: there’s no lower they can sink. Hold onto your life jackets.

The Immigration Minister, Robert Jenrick, decided that the lobbies of the children's asylum centres were too welcoming, with their colourful, cheerful murals of famous cartoon characters, so ordered the walls to be painted grey; like a dull, battleship grey.

Then it was revealed that the asylum seekers, refugees, and migrants who were currently being housed in hotels (rather than, you know, having their applications to live here properly processed so they could earn money, house themselves, and contribute to society) were costing us too much money. So, you’re going to process them? Oh, no, you’re going to put them on a barge.

But not just any barge… the Bibby Stockholm is special. It’s been the place to house folk temporarily for a few decades now, in various parts of Europe, including homeless folk and asylum seekers in Germany and the Netherlands, plus oil rig and off-shore windfarm construction workers, and is currently moored off the Dorset Coast in the south of England. It’s designed to house about 200 people. It’s been retrofitted to fit 500. Yes, you read that right. And not by enlarging so much as putting bunk-beds in. I’m sure that won’t make anyone feel like they’re being housed in a floating prison… It’s got, you know, a multi-faith prayer room and a gym and catering and medical facilities. And inhabitants will get day release. And 24 hour security.

So it’s safe, right? It’s got extra fire escapes now and… no? No. It’s been assessed and there are some severe worries about how fire safe it is (when professionals start using the term “death trap”, it does tend to make one think, you know?), and how 500 people in there are likely to not be able to get out in case of a fire. Also that any outbreak of disease is likely to spread like wildfire. Ironically. But it’s not like you’re going to put people at risk like that, huh? Oh, and there’s a lot of standing water in the system because it’s not been inhabited or sorted out for a good long while, so you’re going to check for things like mould and legionella bacteria, right?

Wait, you’ve asked for legionella tests but you’re going to start putting people on the thing anyway, before the results come in? That’s… bold.

And… wait, you’ve now put a man on board who has tuberculosis? And you’re threatening people who don’t comply with being put on board that they’ll get no benefits? Even though they’ve been advised that they’re allowed to refuse to go, legally? But the Tory Deputy Chairman went on record to tell people who didn’t want to go that they could, and I quote, “Fuck off back to France.” So that's okay then. Problem solved.

And now you’ve found legionella in the water on the barge. Oh, three days ago? Uh, haha, that seems odd. So… you’re evacuating, right? Well, look; there’s a bar you’ve finally managed to clear. It’s somewhere in Hades, but sure… Have a gold star.

I’m sure there’s something I’ve missed, but that’s the crux of it. I’m not saying, you know, death camps, but, if anything, I might well be saying… death camps…

Oh, and then there’s the whole thing with the hotels where over 100 asylum seekers who are unaccompanied children have been kidnapped in the last year. Nothing to see here. Our coasts and waterways are filling with raw sewage, but everything’s fine. All part of the plan.

[nulab-2024]

New word cloud showing what the public thinks of the four Tory leadership candidates!

My personal favourites:

Tom Tugendhat - Male, Gentleman, Idiot, Best, Baby, Glasses, Bigot, Cheesy, Liar, Immigration, Human, Okay

James Cleverly - Slimy, Male, Samey, Racist, Fascist, Shifty, Bland, Simple, Smooth, Unlikeable, Okay

Robert Jenrick - Weird, Snooty, Creepy, Fake, Slimy, Buffoon, Clown, Dodgy, Fascist, Cute, Average, Blundering, Smooth, Chinless, Greasy, Annoying, Okay

Kemi Badenoch - Bolshie, Female, Woman, Beautiful, Rubbish, Attractive, Transphobic, Racist, Fascist, Anti-Woke, Vile, Okay

[ianchisnall]

Two Slavery questions and inadequate answers

So on Tuesday our local MP Caroline Lucas asked a question with several aspects for Slavery issues. Sadly the answer from the Government appears to be very inadequate. So the starting point of the question was “To ask the Secretary of State for the Home Department, pursuant to the Answer of 28 February 2023 to Question 148612 on Slavery” and it was clear that several people were not happy with…

[komododraggggqueen]

that was a wild 24 hours

[changing-my-username]

Jenrick claiming that Ed Miliband is "a Wallace missing his Gromit". One of Jenrick's political idols:

[deweydecimalchickens]

Because surely children are fleeing across the world alone and vulnerable, leaving all the love and security they've ever known, purely for the opportunity to look at cartoon characters painted on an interior wall in fucking Kent.

Hans, are we the baddies?

I mean we did keep some Disney characters. The villains, in government.

[news-buzz]

Who is Hamish Badenoch? Banker, father and husband of Tory leader Kemi News Buzz

The MP for North West Essex won with 53,806 votes to 41,000, arguing for a low-tax, free-market economy and pledging to “rewire, reboot and reprogramme” the British state. At 44-years-old, she is one of the younger leaders for a political party and is the first Black leader of a Westminster party.  Hamish Badenoch has largely stayed in the background as his wife has climbed to the top of the…

[transparentgentlemenmarker]

Royaume-Uni : A 44 ans, Kemi Badenoch nigérienne anti wok est élue à la tête du parti conservateur après la défaite de Rischi Sunak face à Robert Jenrick. Elle a mené sa campagne en défendant "un vrai conservatisme". 2 novembre 2024

Serait-il le prochain premier ministre ❔❓❔