#rob james cook

[goldenpinof]

robjamescook: Because I never grid post anything

[jaynedolluk]

Last few weekends of the Times have included reviews of The Responder, Bodkin, Shardlake, Miriam: Death of a Reality Star, Clarkson's Farm and The Tattooist of Auchwitz as well as Tom Selleck's memoirs (which got slated).

Also articles on Inside No 9, Mama Cass, Anita Pallenberg (can't wait to see the new documentary about her) and the new exhibition on Beryl Cook + Tom of Finland (that reminds me I've still not got round to watching my film of Tom of Finland - yes, they made a film of his life story).

And interviews with Tracey Emin, Janey Godley, Rob Rinder & Rylan, Emma Barnett discussing her endometriosis and Joe Tracini discussing his BPD. Plus Tyler James on Amy Winehouse, Patrick Grant on sustainability in fashion and Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall on getting more veg into your diet.

[erosmutt]

　⯌　𝘽𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙂𝙞𝙧𝙡　⨟　𝗝. 𝗞𝗲𝗹𝗹𝘆, 𝗦. 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗿𝗼𝗲, 𝗦. 𝗕𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿

〣 ﹒▨﹕CONTENT WARNINGS﹒foursome, incestuous activities, free use undertones, objectification, somnophilia, double penetration, degrading, face slapping, pussy eating, bukakke, large age gap (James is 46, Scott is 21, Sam is 20, reader is 19).

┄﹒WORD COUNT﹒⤹ 4,152

BNUUY'S NOTES┆Finally, the long awaited fic! Part of the "Partnered Up!" series, which is a series of fics where all the characters are paired up and are with reader. The first installment is this one! Titled after a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. Originally, I was going to title it after a Rob Zombie song, but here we are! I'm so excited to share this with all of you. Eat well my loves!

≻ㅤ﹒ㅤlet's have a coffee together!ㅤ﹒ㅤノ

"You're welcome over anytime y'wanna be, sweetiepie."

You snap out of your daydream, lifting your gaze. In front of you stood your best friends' dad, James, a spatula in his hand. The kitchen was filled with the scent of seasoned beef, the familiar sizzle in the cast iron skillet on the stove a comforting sound. Your eyes rake over his broad shoulders, his waist, and down to the curve of his ass in his dark blue boxers. His jeans rest low on his hips, barely held up by his butt. Man, he really needed to invest in a belt.

Right as you open your mouth to respond, the sound of heavy boots hitting the creaky floorboards accompanies the sizzle of the patties James was flipping. "Hey dad, hey babes." One of James' two sons, Scott Kelly, greets the two of you as he sits a hefty 30-count case of beer on the kitchen table. His brother, Sam Kelly, was scrolling through his phone as he nodded to you. "What’s up?"

Scott's hand slams down onto the top of the large case of beer. "Found a new flavor. Peach Busch." He grins triumphantly, while Sam snickers, shoving his phone into his pocket and sitting down in a chair next to you. "A girly drink." He sticks his tongue out at his brother, making the blond sneer. "Go fuck yourself." He mutters, tearing the flimsy cardstock handle to reach a can.

James kills the heat on the stove then tosses the spatula down onto the counter. "Watch your fuckin' mouths, alright? Jesus," he shakes his head, gathering the condiments - barbecue sauce, ketchup, mustard, mayo, and an assortment of other burger toppings - then he sets them down onto the counter. "Now sit down and hush so we can eat."

Sam licks his lips as he gets up, grabbing a few paper plates off the top of the microwave. "Huh," he hands everyone a plate, then plops down in the creaky kitchen chair, making it scrape against the dirty linoleum floor. The four of you join hands and a quick prayer later, you all take in the assortment he cooked. "So," his father begins, cracking open a beer. "How's it been goin' babygirl?"

You look up at him, in the middle of squirting ketchup onto your hamburger. "Uh, what does that entail?" You ask with a lopsided grin. Scott shrugs. "The usual, you know? Like, I dunno, any boyfriends or somethin'?" His baby blues flick up to glance at you before focusing back on his dinner. "You coulda made the fries last, Jesus." Sam mutters from next to you before taking a massive bite of his burger, brows furrowed as he hums in satisfaction.

After chatting, hot beers, and dinner, the four of you were piled on the couch, watching whatever movie you caught on TV. James had his socked feet kicked up on the busted up coffee table, his arm around you, the stench of cheap cologne and potent motor oil clinging to his skin and clothes. His hand caresses your shoulder, fiddling with your sleeve, squeezing, tracing shapes. Your eyelids flutter closed, feeling heavy. James looks down at you. "Sleepy, babygirl?" He pulls you closer up into his side. "Snuggle up buttercup." He chuckles, ruffling your hair affectionately as he removes his arm from around your shoulders to put it around your waist, large hand resting on your stomach.

As the movie goes on, Sam and Scott end up on the floor, playing UNO, oblivious to their father and best friend up on the couch. James' hand slips up your shirt, rubbing over your soft tummy, over your womb. His dark gaze falls on you, eyes half-lidding as he rubs over your warm skin, your stomach distended with all the dinner you ate. "Sheesh..." He whispers to himself, teeth gently digging into his bottom lip. 

He'd be absolutely lying to himself if he tried to say he didn't have dreams about you full and round with his baby. Disgusting, he knows. He's pushing 50 years old, his knees creak when he gets up after sitting awhile, he has to be in bed before 10pm or he'll get pissy - he has zero business wanting to knock up his young sons' barely legal best friend. You kept him young, kept him on his toes, kept him wanting to keep up with the times. He'd do nearly anything to get just a glimpse of your teenage pussy. Oh, he could already imagine how tight, how warm, how wet, how -

"Dad!" Scott's grating voice snaps James back to reality. He looks down at his son. "What?" He hisses, rubbing his hand over his dark stubble. Sam turns around and looks up at his dad, then at you, then back at his dad. "Wanna play cards with us?" He asks, waving the cards as if tempting James. You stir out of your half-asleep state, then you smile, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. "Mmm, UNO?" You move away from James, standing up. You turn to look at him and hold your hands out, giggling as he lets out a heavy sigh, taking your hands and rocking back and forth before using you to get up off the couch with a groan that makes your stomach coil. "To the kitchen. I ain't gettin' down on that damn floor." James says, making his way to the kitchen. You follow as Sam and Scott gather up the cards.

"James?" Your voice calls, your hand resting on the door frame of James' bedroom. He groans, opening his eyes to look at the digital clock on his nightstand - 2:52AM. He turns his head to look at you and waves you into the bedroom. "Mm, what's wrong dollface?" He sits up, rubbing his hands over his face. You make your way over and sit down, a pout on your lips. "I can't sleep. Sam and Scotty are up playing games." You go quiet. James listens, and the resounding sound of his sons’ joint bitching at the TV reaches his ears. He rolls his eyes and licks his dry lips. "C'mon, you can lie with me." He pats the mattress. You climb into his warm bed, and once the two of you are settled in, the only sounds that grace you are your breathing, the muffled voices of the boys in the living room, and the rhythmic clicking of his rickety ceiling fan above the bed.

"Usually you're out like a light." James comments. "Well, 'least you used to be able to sleep through anything. Guess that changes when you ain't a kiddo no more." He says, a warm hand rubbing your arm to soothe you to sleep as he did when you were little on nights you would sleep over, when you would come crying to him about a nightmare. Even now, all these years later, it was incredibly endearing to him. The way you suckle around nothing and end up sleeping on your stomach. That wouldn't do if you were pregnant, though.

Throughout the night, James found himself unable to sleep. He had a raging boner, his cock aching, boxers nearly sopping with pre from all the leaking his tip had been doing. You had your cheek pressed against his shoulder, your arm draped over his doughy middle. He stares down at you in the dark, the moonlight streaming through the dusty blinds helping him see your parted lips as they catch the pallid glimmer.

James brings his hand up and rubs his thumb over your bottom lip and the corner of your mouth, collecting the drool that accumulated during your peaceful slumber. He brings his thumb to his mouth and sucks the drool off it, his eyes fluttering closed and nearly rolling back in perverted satisfaction. Removing his thumb with a gentle 'pop,' James rests his hand on your side, beginning to rub up and down, up to the side of your chest then down to your hip. "Christ," he whispers, digging his fingers into your flesh with a gentle squeeze. He finds his way into the side of your camisole, calloused hand rubbing over your breast and soft nipple, thumb caressing the bud.

He was at a really horrid angle, his joints beginning to ache already, but he deemed it worth the pain to be able to grope you in your sleep. James' other hand goes down to his crotch, slipping into his boxers and grabbing at his velvety shaft. After hearing noise he stopped for a second, then went on, rubbing his thumb over his damp tip, assuming the boys were packing it in for the night.

"Dad?" Sam's voice calls, and right as James snatches his hand out of his boxers, the bedroom light flickers on. He stares at his sons, his hand still around your soft, fatty breast. Sam's lips part as if to comment, and Scott just stares at the print of James' hand through your thin navy blue camisole. Oh, he was fucked.

“Um, are we interrupting something?” Scott finally comments, hands shoved into the pockets of his sweatpants. “We came to see whose bed she wanted to take, or if she wanted to stay in the living room. For fucks sake…” He sneers, and his brother watches, fiddling with his labret as he watches his dad slowly retract his hand from your top.

Sam's big blue eyes travel down to your now exposed stomach, blinking silently. "Hey hey, calm down," James coos, pushing himself up into a sitting position, unintentionally making you stir awake. His cock strains against his soft boxers, tip threatening to peek out from underneath the fabric scrunched around his thigh. "She can stay in whichever one'aya's bed she wants. No need to fuss." He says, and you lift your head to look at the twins, returning Sam's slow, cat-like blink. "Huh?"

With a disgusted scoff, Scott turns on his heel, his hand resting on the wood of the doorway as he readies himself to leave. "I can't believe this." He mutters, walking out and down the hallway. Sam took a moment before making a move to leave, though, but he soon followed his brother, disappearing down the hallway.

Left in a tense silence, neither you nor James commented. Just sat, oddly content, until he spoke. "I know you might think this is gross," he begins. "But... do you mind helpin' me out, babygirl?" He asks, and the two of you make eye contact, his gaze pleading while yours was surprised. "James," you murmur, your hand finding his hairy thigh. "I can try."

You make your way between his thighs, your hands resting on either side of his penis. “Can you show me what to do? I’ve never seen a guy’s thing in real life before.” You admit, examining his cock curiously. When you wrap your hand around it, a bit harshly, James hisses. “Gentle, dollface, gentle.”

“Here, slow. Slowly. Up and down. Yeah, just like that.” He watches, a smile coming across his face. “You got the hang of it already.” So, you began to stroke him, getting a feel for it, taking in the warmth, the scent, the texture, the way his shaft twitched in your grasp. You watch as his hands fist the sheets beneath him, his nostrils flaring as he nears what would be his first orgasm of the night. With a shudder, James comes undone, warm semen spurting onto your hand. “Oh.”

“You’re a natural,” James pants, his hand coming up to brush some wispy hairs away from your face. “Good job sweets. My boys are missin’ out.” He grins lazily, then falls back onto his pillow with a sigh.

You get up and adjust your top. “I should get to bed.” You make your way over to the bedroom door, and as soon as you open it, Scott and Sam stumble in sideways. Those little creeps, they had their ears up against the door, listening in. You yelp in surprise, and step back from the door. “What the hell is wrong with you two?!”

Scott’s eyes go from your face, to your cleavage, then over to his dad’s exposed cock, then back up at your face. “No fucking way his jizz is on your hand right now.” Sam chimes in, glaring at your hand with contempt. Overcome with embarrassment, you look down at your sock-clad feet, eyes tracing the checkerboard patterned fabric. “Are you listening to me?”

You and Scott were so preoccupied that neither of you noticed James come up behind you, hand coming to rest on your shoulder, his dick still out of the confines of his boxers. “It ain’t somethin’ to be ‘shamed of, you know.” He reassures, caressing your shoulder as he looks between his twin sons. “I never got to give y’all the talk, did I? Maybe now’s a good time, yeah?”

Scott was a bit more enthusiastic than you anticipated. Sam, on the other hand, seemed more hesitant. Though judging by the tent in his shorts, he was far from unaffected. With a deep breath, you settle down onto the bed, the boys on either side of you. James stands in front of you three, his cock noticeably hardening. “What the fuck,” Scott whispers to himself, meanwhile Sam was shifting around, trying to relieve the friction in his bottoms.

James begins pacing, starting his impromptu sex ed lesson. “It’s not a weird thing to talk about. Sex is how we all got here. ‘S a natural thing.” He reaches down and tucks himself back in, thankfully. “It’s not just a way to make life, but to pleasure yourself, too. Everyone likes it.” Their father turns and looks between his sons, then his eyes settle on Sam. “Especially you,” he points. “You think I don’t hear you?” He then looks at Scott. “You? Don’t even get me started on the shit I hear you watching.” The blond raises an eyebrow, parting his lips to bitch back when James goes on. “Both’a’ya think she and I are disgusting for doing shit like this when really, we not. You just ain’t mature enough to get it through your heads that you two not the only ones that think with their dick.”

Sam looked especially uncomfortable now, doing his damndest to not make eye contact with any of the others in the room. “Then give us a hands-on lesson if you give so much of a shit.” Scott quips, making everyone look at him. Realizing his mistake, he widens his eyes. “Wait! I’m fucking with you, I’m fucking with you, I’m fucking with you!” He rambles, making you snicker, until Sam finally chimed in. “Can we?” He asks. The other three of you turn to look at Sam, his cheeks reddening a deeper shade.

“Fine then,” James says, making his way to the bed. “Lay down sweetpea.” He urges you, gently pushing your shoulder, a silent instruction for  you to lay back. “Usin’ you for some edjumacation, just relax dollface.” He smiles, and you make a noise of confusion as he runs his hand over your stomach. “Watch boys,” he instructs, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your shorts. He tugs them down, your thighs jiggling as your hips plop back down onto the bed. 

You can’t help but feel embarrassed, you were being put on display for a less than ideal anatomy lesson, and the two boys you’d called your best friends since you could remember were staring at you like they could just devour you. The room fills with the nervous laughter of the two others as your body unfolds before them, eager to learn the intricacies that make you so unique. Your stomach was revealed first, followed by your thighs. As Scott giggles, you flush, feeling a sudden heat fill your face.

With your underwear the only thing keeping your intimate parts hidden, James gives a shit-eating grin to his audience, who tap their feet and shuffle in anticipation. James then hooks his fingers into the waistband of your underwear and gives a swift tug down, revealing your fat, squishy mound and puffy pussy lips, soft and inviting. The sight of your hidden treasure causes the boys’ eyes to widen, taking in every detail of your body.

Your cheeks flame with mortification, an uncomfortable mix of embarrassment and arousal. The twins sat gazing at your exposed body, their eyes raking it in all its glory. You shudder, goosebumps forming on your skin as you sense their unabashed curiosity and lust. Pleased with his handiwork, James steps back, hands resting on his hips. “Go on, you two always were hands-on learners anyways.”

Scott, on your left, reaches out and touches your breast, his palm cupping the mound, eliciting a soft moan from your lips. You were overwhelmed with humiliation and pleasure, which was only amplified when you felt someone between your thighs. When you lifted your head to look down, you saw Sam on his knees before you, lips inches away from your pussy. “There you go, touch on ‘er.” James encourages the boys before taking a seat on the bed to your right, his large hand coming to rest on your stomach. “You’re such a trooper babygirl.”

You felt heat coursing through your veins, and you were unsure whether to be disgusted by the incestuous display or to just continue going with it. The feeling of being stripped of your dignity and autonomous power left you in a state of confusion, but your stomach coiled with a twisted thrill that came with the degradation. “Eat ‘er out, Sammy.” Scott tells his brother, sitting up straight. He swings one leg over your body and straddles your chest, then pulls his sweatpants down enough to remove his cock comfortably. His musky shaft bounces free before hitting you in the face. “Open your mouth- open it,”

You open your mouth willingly, the tip of Scott’s cock gliding past your lips and into the warm sanctuary of your mouth. Your tongue traces the underside of his shaft, sending tremors through his body. James watches in satisfaction as his sons take turns pleasuring you. Scott’s rough, unskilled hands gripping your head to guide his cock into your mouth contrast with Sam’s gentle, teasing tongue that flicks at your clit. As you begin to get into it, the twins sense it, their eagerness increasing tenfold. The blond bottoms out, balls against your chin as he groans, barely able to hold himself up, his thighs tensing. “Fucking- oh my- oh fuck,” he hisses, fully intent on keeping the two of you that way until James had to guide him back out. “Off.”

When Scott and Sam move out of the way, James settles between your legs and with a firm grip, finds your hips and snatches you to the very edge of the bed, his lips meeting yours for a slow, deep kiss. He groans softly against your lips, cock resting on your mound, the taste of peach beer like honey on his tongue.

James breaks the kiss and looks up at his sons. “Fuckin’ hell, Sam, play with ‘er tits.” The teen nods, hands finding your breasts, kneading the flesh gently. He drinks in the sight of the mounds jiggling beneath his touch, the curves and contours calling to him like a siren. “Scott, get under her.”

Scott doesn't waste a moment, his bottoms getting kicked across the room and hitting the floor, joining all the clutter and shit in his dad's room. He maneuvers underneath you, arms wrapping around your middle. “You good doll?” James asks, and you nod, hands on top of Sam's, guiding him to play with your nipples in a way that'll bring you the most pleasure. “Yeah, ‘m good,”

“Good.”

With the help of James’ hand, Scott's cock pushes into you, pulling an embarrassingly loud moan from your lips. “Oh, fuck!” You arch your back and Scott pulls you back down. “Stay,” he whispers hotly against your ear. “Stay right there.” In the heat of the moment, you didn't even notice that James was beginning to push into you as well until your poor cunt was being stretched to the brim. “James! James- ‘s so- ohhh, can't fit it,” you slur, making the man chuckle. “Yeah you can. Cunts are made for this, it's just a lil’ difficult ‘cause you're so young, babygirl.” After a bit of struggle, James penetrates you, your warm walls enveloping him. A guttural moan escapes him as he starts to grind against you, the friction from his son's cock against his paired with your wet heat almost too much for him to handle. “Atta girl, grippin’ me tight.” He smirks, drinking in the moans and cries that came from your lips.

Sam leans down and captures your lips in a soft kiss, much different from the other two on a mission to ravage your poor body. One of his hands tangles in your hair while the other is shoved down his pants, palming his shaft over his boxers. He was waiting, itching to have a go at you.

Your eyes flutter open, hazy gaze meeting James', whose eyes were sparkling with a devious triumph. “You gonna let us cum inside ya sweetiepie?” He asks, moving his hips in a rhythm that compliments Scott's. Since you were stretched so far and the friction was so great, the two of them had to find something that worked.

“Fuck, ‘m close,” Scott moans, his fingers digging into the flesh of your sides, tugging at you. The desperation in his voice is almost laughable. Sam breaks the kiss with a snicker. “Think it’s been like two minutes, dude. Pull out, let me.” Scott nods and does so, his cock glistening with your juices as he crawls out from underneath you.

With everyone out of the way, the three of them looming over you like a hungry pack of wolves, you can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. The others join in, the sound of their laughter mixing with the shuffling around. “I can’t even sit right,” you giggle, running your hands through your damp hair.

“I know. It’ll be fine babycakes. Get up.” James grins, turning you over so you were now on your tummy. “Gonna run a train through ya baby. Ready?” He lifts your hips, hands coming to rest on your ass. “Gonna take all of us, yeah?” His sweet talking distracted you from the way the teens were maneuvering your body, putting you in a position they wanted you.

James spits down onto his cock, lubing it up before he pushes the tip of it against your tight cunt. He grunts, feeling the resistance, but he’s determined. With a swift thrust, he breaches you, his cock sinking deeper with each rock of his hips, making your pussy stretch open. The boys, not to be outdone, get to work on their part. Sam guides his cock into your inviting mouth, your tongue swirling around his cockhead while your saliva bathes him. Scott groans, smacking your cheek with his own member, smearing precum onto your skin. “Fuck yeah,” he grins. “Take it like that baby, take Sam’s dick in your mouth.”

“Ghhk- hhg, kkh-” you gag on Sam’s cock, eyes shut as you struggle to breathe. Your body is a mess of pleasure, tits bouncing with every thrust, your pussy gripping James’ cock and your mouth moving up and down Sam’s. Your moans are muffled, but it only makes it all the more arousing. Sam pulls out and his dick is replaced with his brother’s, Scott’s tip hitting the back of your throat. The springs in the old, cheap mattress squeak and creak underneath the combined weight of the four of you.

Scott’s fingers tangle in your hair and grip your skull, being fed off the sounds of you choking and struggling. “Fucking take it, don’t fucking stop,” he growls, teeth gritting. “I wan’ cum on ‘er face,” Sam chimes in, getting off the bed, hand beginning to fist his cock as he waits for the other two. Following suit, James pulls out and so does Scott, the pair pulling you down onto the floor.

You cough, attempting to catch your breath before they get their hands on you again. You steady yourself with your hands on the dingy carpet, getting ready for the facial. “Fuck babygirl, close your eyes and stick that tongue out.” James commands, watching as you oblige. “Oh shit, keep it right there,” Scott pants, and you let out a surprised squeal as your face is covered in sticky sperm. You give an open-mouthed giggle and slowly open your eyes, keeping your tongue out.

It frosted your nose and cheeks and tongue, and your lashes were matted as you looked up at the three of them, meeting their satisfied expressions. Hopefully there would be a second class for James’ anatomy course.

ılıl﹕𖥻 . @addictedtohobi , @102hannah , @emmaloo21 , @vixxensvoid , @ilovekmchenzie ﹒📧

ılıl﹕𖥻 . @laylaplease , @brooklynb8by , @geekforhorror , @gallerygourmet , @anakinsbbgirl ﹒📧

ılıl﹕𖥻 . @literally-izzy , @anakinstwinklebunny , @jadegmfu , @bimbo-baggins17 , @thesassypadawan ﹒📧

ılıl﹕𖥻 . @t03soup , @trippyhippywitch , @valloos , @demieyesore , @piastricentric ﹒📧

ılıl﹕𖥻 . @s1aywalker , @s1ck-skv1l , @catnipaddictt , @gabsskkk , @slutforfinnickodair﹒📧

ılıl﹕𖥻 . @realscott , @jediavengers , @enchant5d , @zapernz , @starlmbed﹒📧

ılıl﹕𖥻 . @offthethirlwall , @tfmerc , @dazednstars141 , @anisluvrgirl , @stepdadjameskelly﹒📧

ılıl﹕𖥻 . @cocobear18 , @poutypisces , @mugwump327 , @espinathena-17 , @fallout-girl219﹒📧

ılıl﹕𖥻 . @necromancerrrs , @decaffeinatedunicorn , @speaknow-sw , @lunarnightt﹒📧

ılıl﹕𖥻 .  @jyinnc , @haydenslittlegirl ﹒📧

[deadsetobsessions]

More triplet tim PLEASEE

Aye, aye!

@batman-soup your idea just gives on giving omg what magic are you cooking in your head bc this prompt literally went absolutely crazy in mine

Commissioner Gordon was a decorated veteran of the GCPD, having lasted in the force longer than most without buckling under the pressure and temptation of being a dirty cop. That means he’s seen some shit, and he’s been in some shit. Even when Batman made his debut, even when he had to cover for Bru- ahem, Batman’s fool ass, James Gordon hadn’t even considered stoping in his effort to better the GCPD.

As he blankly stared at Batman, who looked as tired as Gordon felt, and the- not one, not two, but three- Robins following him, Commissioner Gordon seriously considered going down stairs and handing in his letter of resignation on the spot.

“Batman,” he greeted the Dark Knight, in the tone one might use when saying “Batman, what the fuck?!”

“Commissioner Gordon.” Batman said, sounding like he swallowed gravel and spent his nights crying instead of beating up Gotham’s criminal underbelly. “This is… the Robins. They’ve been… switching out until they were all ready.”

“Hey, Mister Gordon!” One of the Robins chirped. Commissioner Gordon pinched himself. Maybe he got micro-dosed with fear toxin? Commissioner Gordon nodded at the Robin who spoke.

“Commissioner Gordon!” The second one smiled at him.

“Commissioner Gordon.” The third one said, shoulders back.

“Have there always been… three of you?” Gordon asked, perplexed.

“You’ve actually all met us before, but don’t worry about it! Whatcha got for us this time?”

“Robin,” Batman growled.

“Yes?” “Yeah?!” “What.”

Commissioner Gordon chugged his coffee, to avoid laughing at Batman’s exasperated demeanor. Privately, he wished the coffee was a strong, black out worthy drink, and that the Robins gave Batman the stress Gordon experienced at Batman’s antics.

“It is important.”

“Yeah, yeah, we got it, B.” Regular Robin, Gordon deemed, waved him off.

“But we’re currently not taking mental health advice from you, you walking therapist’s wet dream.” Serious Robin scoffed.

“So you can stick your opinion where the sun doesn’t shine!” Chirpy Robin said. Gordon had wanted to name him happy Robin, but he’s not getting the feeling of “happiness” from him.

“I will bench you.”

“Try me,” all of them defiantly said at the same time. Gordon smothered a laugh, but by the glare Batman sent him, he wasn’t too successful at hiding it.

Batman visibly gave up, shoulders slumping. “Commissioner Gordon, what do you have for…us.”

“There’s, heh, Penguin’s expansion.” Gordon looked away from Batman’s baleful look, mustache twitching with suppressed laughter.

“He’s expanding his weapons trading.” Regular Robin said. Serious Robin nodded, leaning back on his heels in thought.

“That’s a sign of an upcoming turf war.”

“Red Hood’s part of it! I saw Penguin’s guys lurking around his safe house!”

“Why do you know where his safe house is, Robin?” Gordon might acknowledge that they’re trained vigilantes, but at the end of the day, Robin is still a child that shouldn’t be near a crime lord, especially a highly dangerous and highly trained one like the Red Hood.

“Prank! Don’t worry about it!”

Gordon side-eyed the Bat. When Batman didn’t move to say anything, he shrugged and let it go. There’s only one person more protective of Robin than the rest of Gotham’s non-criminal city, and that’s Batman. Gordon caught the three of them exchanging glances- a whole conversation he and Batman were not privy to- and suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to go home and never leave his bed again.

“You know where he’s staying, Robin?” Batman asked, when the silence got too long.

“Yep!” They chorused, even the serious one. Batman looked like he wanted to step back but held on like his pride was on the line.

“We can handle Penguin.” The serious one stated.

“You can get the goons, Batman!”

“I’ll rob them blind,” regular Robin grinned.

“Dibs on Penguin!”

“I’ll get the weapons.”

Batman sighed.

“Godspeed, Robins.” Gordon told the youngsters. To Batman, before he left, “Good luck.”

Batman grunted and disappeared. It sounded like a tearful thanks. Commissioner Gordon took a puff of his smoking pipe and decided to end the day today. He did not want to deal with the Robins and whatever terror they were about to unleash on Penguin.

——

“Penguuuuuiiiiiiinnnn, where aaaaare youuuu?!” Lionel sang, whacking a goon across the head with a pipe. “Come ooout!”

Archy, gleefully lugging away bags of tech and guns, jerked his head at the left hallway. He wound around the bodies of the unconscious goons Batman beat up. Lionel grinned at him in thanks and, bouncing along, went to beat up the Penguin.

“Robin, that is evidence.” Batman stopped Archy.

“It’s only evidence if it gets logged. Besides, I’m not going to do anything with them… much.”

Batman scowled, remembering the parenting books he devoured after adopting Jason. Be firm.

“You are not going to give them to Hood to help with his turf war.”

“Give me one good reason why.”

Tim, passing the arguing pair, snorted. “C’mon B, at least Hood’s guys will make sure to not use them to hurt kids. Who knows what the GCPD will do with this many guns.”

“And, not to mention, you let me get shot when we fought Dent.” Archy looked up at Batman balefully, rubbing his side. Batman grimaced… but stood aside.

Archy smirked.

“B, help me out with this,” Tim shouted, patting the top of Penguin’s heavy safe. Batman sighed and took out his laser cutter. Or, as Dick named it, Batlaser.

“Batman is supposed to be a symbol,” Batman rumbled.

“Yeah, of vengeance and justice. I’m getting justice for my stolen bat-tech, Robin L is getting vengeance for that one time Penguin kidnapped him, and Robin A is getting… stuff. Now c’mon, I can’t carry all this gold by myself. I gotta loot the goons too!”

“Do not loot the goons.”

“You’re right. If they had cool stuff, they probably wouldn’t be working for Penguin.” Tim brightened as he shuffled through the Penguin’s hoard of treasures. “Oo! Lookit! Tax evasion!”

“… You memorized his tax returns when Oracle hacked it, didn’t you.”

“Obviously. Keep up, old man.” Archy snarked as he walked back in to grab some more stuff. “Hood’s on the way with Nightwing and I want froyo, so chop chop!”

Batman sighed.

——

Penguin huddled against the crate, heart pumping a rhythm of abject terror.

His night had been going so well! He had drinks in one hand, a beauty in another, and the weapons trading game underneath his feet! The Cobblepots were going to rise once more!

Then, the slide of gravel, here and there.

Fear.

A low chuckle. The Bat?

Fear.

The squeal of a hinge.

Fear.

Bubbly laughter. Oh no. Robin.

Batman and Robin had dropped to the floor of the base, knocking his goons out left and right.

“Ge’ your fat nose outta my business, Bats!” He had went to wave his umbrella to send spikes at the pair, only to be stopped cold.

He turned around slowly and … Robin?

“Wha-?”

“Heya, Penguin! Nice seeing you again!”

“Agh!” Blinding pain erupted on his face, nose leaking blood. Penguin stumbled back as the psychotic Robin laughed.

“There’s two Robin! Run!” His goons shouted. “Boss, run!” Cobblepot stumbled away, mentally noting to give that goon a raise, once he could see more than red tinged blurs.

“Wrong. There’s three.” A cold voice sounded out, followed by the quick sounds of bodies dropping. Oswald Cobblepot ran, because he was not meant to deal with more than one Robin. The world was not meant to have more than one, so it definitely wasn’t ready for three.

The door creaked open. Oswald Cobblepot peeked his head out from behind the crate. He heaved a sigh of relief when he saw an empty doorway. Maybe he forgot to close it when he ran in.

“Heya, Oswald!”

Penguin looked up, eyes darting from the blood stained pipe and straight into the grinning maw of a Robin.

“… Bollocks.”

[pillow-anime-talk]

Hii, congrats on 4K followers! May I request 54 nsfw + Louis from Moriarty the Patriot with she/her pronouns? It can be enemies with benefits/or to lovers type of thing. Thank you :)

# tags: scenario; enemies with benefits; kinda pwp; little bit of romance; mostly drama; nsfw

warnings: mention of sex and sexual activities, quickie, no condom, no kisses, no after care, cigarettes after sex

includes: female reader ft. louis james moriarty {mtp}

author’s note: thank you too! sorry for waiting so long :(

54. “I’ll kill you next time.”

You and the Moriarty brothers had been fighting anonymously for a very long time. You were an elusive woman with a cunning gaze, a passion for firearms, and the only creature you loved more than life was your cat – Lucius, a black and white stray soul that you found three years ago outside a brothel. You lived modestly, although from robberies, frauds and thefts you had quite a large sum of money saved up; however, for years you had dreamed of moving to another country, hence your frugal and organized approach to spending money. However, you did not spare pounds on your cat, that was an exception to the rule.

Although you and the three brothers had had a quiet war between them and you for years, and although they saw you as an enemy, they never had enough evidence that you were responsible for the aforementioned robberies or bankruptcies of high-ranking people or their businesses. And even if the youngest of the three brothers was incredibly close to you, so close that he was fucking you on your couch, he still couldn’t get confirmation from you that you were responsible for these situations.

Louis was a handsome, calm and composed man, and he was also a great cook and had high personal culture and respect for women or the elderly. Nevertheless, your nature didn’t allow itself even an ounce of feeling towards him, much less confirmation of his and his two brothers’ thoughts. You were like two opposite poles that, if combined, could cause a disaster. At this moment, however, thoughts about your differences were muffled by the sound of bodies bouncing against each other, your moans and the sighs of the man with light blond hair.

“You’re really beautiful when you’re not robbing banks.” He murmured in your ear, and you only rolled your eyes, squeezing his bare shoulder.

“I’ve never robbed a bank, idiot.” You answered falsely, with a hint of irony in your voice, to which Louis only laughed. “What? I’m telling the truth.”

“Sure.” His movements were quick, a bit sloppy, although you wouldn’t argue saying that he was the best lover you’ve ever had. Although he gave you indescribable pleasure, deep down you hated him as much as he hated the other side of you, which was evil incarnate, a cheater and manipulator. That’s why your sex was based only on a quickie, a few exchanges of words, sometimes a cigarette lit together, but nothing more. No kisses, no hugs, no questions if it hurt and if it was good.

When you changed positions and you were on top, Louis only suck your nipples and bite them with his white teeth. Your body went through a dozen shivers per minute. The couch under you was wet, and your bodies were sweaty. Heavy breathing interspersed with orgasm ended this meeting. Tired and with cum leaking from your pussy, you reached for a cigarette and a black lighter. Louis put his clothes on without a word, then turned to you in the doorway.

“I’ll catch you next time, Y/N.” He smiled and leave after a moment.

“I’ll kill you next time.” You replied, blowing out the choking smoke from your lungs.

The truth was, he would never catch you red-handed, nor did you ever intend to kill him. After all, you wouldn’t last longer than three days without each other, because that was your limit when it came to sexual abstinence.

[nolita-fairytale]

still into you | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader | chapter one: thursday

summary: you, syd, marcus, and carmy return to where it all began: new york city, prompting you and carmy to think a lot about your past... and your future together. (four part series | follow-up to 'make my heart surrender)

warnings: lots of swearing, tooth-rotting fluff, use of she/her pronouns, the lightest of smut, no use of y/n, second person pov

word count: 5k

listen to: 91 - bleachers | now i'm in it - haim | bewitched, bothered, and bewildered - ella fitzgerald (playlist here)

a/n: re: the poll -- yall really said 'let this man be happy please!' and i love that for us. if you voted for the other fic, i want to reassure you that i will be writing that one right after this! please enjoy all of the fluff and joy of this four chapter fic. i also feel like i potentially robbed us of a smut scene so... anyone interested in a bonus smut scene as a companion to this chapter?

Thursday 

“Alright, guys. We only have a few hours to get our day one prep done. I’ve outlined a schedule for today so that we’re as efficient as possible. Tomorrow’s gotta go smooth, alright?” Carmy instructs, laying out the day. 

You listen intently, marveling at your boyfriend in-action. He’s so fearless when he’s in his element, and being back in New York just seems to bring back all the memories of how you met. It’s like you’re twenty seven again, huddling up for a pre-shift meeting, led by recently-promoted wunderkind CDC, Carmen Berzatto. 

Only, you’re not twenty seven anymore and Carmy is the love of your life. 

“I’m gonna start with the mise for our beef dish, so Syd, can you get working on our signature veal stock? I think we should work with one in the pressure cooker just in case we get short on time and have a back up,” Carmy directs, an intense determination filling his eyes. 

He looks from Sydney to Marcus, before continuing his orders. 

“Marcus, I need you to start on the ice cream today, chef. I ordered us some liquid nitrogen if we need to make more on the fly, but I’d really prefer not to.”

And then it’s your turn, and boy, do you love to watch him work. You have to fight the corners of your lips from curling into a broad grin because you know now is not the time. 

“And lastly, I’m gonna have you work on the pasta. My goal is for us to get all of the agnolotti assembled today, so I’ll jump in when I wrap up with my mise to help you with that, yeah?”

“Heard,” the three of you answer in unison. 

Everyone’s got their game faces on because this is a big deal. 

The biggest, actually. 

Representing The Bear at the James Beard House is more than a big deal – it’s an honor. Only a handful of chefs get invited to cook here per year, and after a little fancy footwork in terms of scheduling, the four of you were finally able to agree on a date with the famous organization. You’re more than elated to be a part of the team, even if you aren’t working at The Bear anymore. 

The four of you quickly busy yourselves with setting up your stations. You only have a few hours to accomplish a whole lot of prep, and the pressure sits heavily on each of your shoulders. Tickets to the dinner had sold out within the first hour, which, after all the press, accolades, and media attention the restaurant had earned over the last few years, hadn’t been a huge surprise.

“Think you can keep up, chef? Don’t tell me you’re gettin’ rusty on me,” Marcus quips, already starting the playful trash talking early.

You let out a laugh, before challenging him in jest.

“Damn, Marcus. Hasn’t been that long. Bet I can still kick your ass on a ‘beat the clock’ mise, chef.”

“Oooooh. Shots fired,” Sydney calls out, joining in on your friendly banter.

“Challenge accepted,” Marcus shoots back, almost instantly. 

And then you’re scrambling to get as many prep containers and a kitchen scale, as you race your friend and mentee, all in good fun. 

You’ve missed this. 

It’s only been a few months since you started your new job – a culinary education director at a startup intent on building more sustainable food systems. While your heart would always be at the restaurant, you’d been ready to take on new challenges. The salary pay and benefits didn’t hurt either. You were happy taking a grown-up job, craving a little more stability and normalcy – and so that you and Carmy could stop paying out the ass for health insurance. Besides, you were still working with food. It just looked… well, a lotta different these days. 

You’ve missed the fast pace of the kitchen, your people, and Carmy’s desire for excellence, but it’s not like those things have left your life either. You still have them. 

After you’d left the restaurant, Marcus had taken over as the head pastry chef. In the last few months, you’ve watched him mentor and inspire a new group of wide-eyed, green, chefs-in-the-making, which had made you prouder than you’d ever have the words for. 

You can smell the sharp-allium scent of onions, as Syd quarters them for her stock, and while you have several cartons of eggs and 00 flour, Marcus has gathered all the milk that you’d just purchased for today’s prep.

“Behind,” Carmy says. He passes you by with a few 5 qt storage containers stacked, as he hugs them to his body with one arm. 

You feel his other hand place the gentlest touch on the small of your back as he leans in and whispers in your ear, “It’s good to have you back, chef.” 

You smile, turning your head just enough to lean back to look at him. 

“It’s good to be back, chef.” 

He presses the gentlest, slow kiss to your lips, and it feels like time stops for a moment. As he pulls away from you, there’s a small smirk on his face as Sydney shouts, “Oh get a room, you two!” 

“If we had the time…” he murmurs quietly, planting one more soft peck onto your lips. His face is still only inches away from yours. You giggle in response, the tender moment filling your heart with warmth. 

“Speaking of time… I just bought Marcus a head start,” Carmy teases, your jaw dropping as soon as you realize what he’s doing. 

You pull away from him, your head snapping towards Marcus’ direction to see that he’s already filled a 5 qt container to its capacity with one portion of the milk. 

“Seriously? Damn it, Carmy!” you cry out, shaking your head. “This is sabotage!”

You hear Marcus laugh in the background and as Carmy walks away with a cheeky feeling of accomplishment. You shake your head in disbelief. 

“Sorry, babe. You can deal with a little hazing, yeah? Since you’ve been gone for so long. Gotta give my guy a head start. ‘S only fair.” 

“You’re such a dick,” you scowl, scrambling to catch up. 

Oh it is so on. 

*

By the time you’re done with your day one prep, the four of you head to the hotel. Luckily, it’s only a five minute walk away, and you’re grateful that the James Beard Foundation chose to partner with one so close. The four of you pull your suitcases down the streets of Greenwich Village, before arriving at the luxurious, vintage-inspired hotel. 

You’re eager to get up to your room, as you haven’t had a shower, nor a time to take a break since you all arrived. 

“Woah…” Carmy says, his brilliant blue eyes scanning the high end hotel room. “You sure we can afford this?” 

You chuckle, “I think uh… they have a partnership with the James Beard Foundation, which is the only way I can answer your question with a ‘yes’ without having to tell you that we have to sell an arm, a leg, and our first born.” 

He shoots a half smile in your direction before letting out a whistle as he looks around. The floor to ceiling windows feel way outside of anything you could afford, as Carmy spots the French doors that lead right out onto a terrace. As you continue to explore the rest of the room, you spot a huge tub in the bathroom – something you’re very eager to take advantage of. 

“Power nap?” you ask Carmy, setting down your suitcase in the middle of the room. 

You’ll put your things away later.

“Fuck yeah,” he agrees eagerly.

You’ve barely put your book bag down before you’re both stripping off your jeans and climbing into the perfectly made hotel bed. After spending the morning traveling, you, Sydney, Marcus, and Carmy had gotten off the plane at JFK and gone straight to the James Beard House in Greenwich. Not only had Carmy been antsy to see the kitchen and get a head start on prep, you hadn’t been able to check into your hotel till this afternoon. You’re both spent, and you know that Carmy’s been running himself ragged preparing for this once in a lifetime opportunity. He hasn’t been sleeping all that well either– his thoughts consumed with nailing down the perfect menu, while paralyzed with indecision.

His quest for perfection had made him irritable over the last few days. You could see that the pressure was getting to him. His appetite was down, he was picking fights with you about small, unnecessary things at home, and pushing Sydney (sometimes a little too hard) at the restaurant. 

But today, he seems a little more in control of his feelings, and it puts him a little more at ease now that you’re finally in New York. He knows he’s been driving you crazy all week, and now that you’re all here, he’s hoping he can relax a little. 

Now that you’re here, in the city. 

Now that the dinner is only a day and a half away. 

You’re hoping he’ll slow down at some point too – give himself a little time to enjoy how big of an accomplishment this is. At least by the end of the weekend. Frankly, you’re glad you’ll have Saturday to enjoy the city without any pressure. 

For all of your sakes. 

You’re surprised that Carmy falls asleep with you during your late afternoon nap. He’s been so wired, so high strung lately, but you’ve just been waiting for him to come back down. Now that it seems like he is, there’s no way in hell you’re going to wake him up. You’re curled up together when you wake, your back pressed against his chest, his arms enveloping you. It feels almost impossible to pry yourself out of his arms without waking him up, but his deep slumber confirms your suspicions and you’re more than willing to let him continue sleeping. It takes a few tries to slip out of his embrace, but you do, and it’s off to the bathroom to get ready for dinner.

You try to make as little noise as possible, but by the time you're out of the shower, and your hair has been blown dry, Carmy’s up. You can hear the hotel TV on as you exit the bathroom and see he’s put his jeans back on. He’s perched on the edge of the bed, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. You notice that the dark circles under his eyes that have accumulated over the years seem to sit heavier this week, as his eyes flicker over towards you.

“Damn, my girl’s got style,” he compliments, checking out your all black-ensemble. “We really are back in New York, huh?”

You nod, grinning at his sweet compliment, as you sit down to slip your white sneakers on. 

“You meetin’ up with Liz and Maya tonight?” he asks you. 

“Yeah. Syd’s gonna join for a bit before her thing. She should uh… be here any minute, actually.” You begin tying up the shoelaces of one of your shoes, before slipping the other one on. 

“You sure you don’t want to come?”

“Nah I-, I'll see ‘em tomorrow right? But tell ‘em I say ‘hello’.”

“Of course. I think they’re both really looking forward to seeing you.”

You check the time on your phone making sure you have enough time, before you make your way to where Carmy sits on the edge of the bed. 

“What’re you going to do tonight?” you ask, curiously, stopping so that your body is right in front of his. 

“Well Marcus is staging at per se so… I’ll probably just hang out. Order room service or pick up a sandwich across the street. I wanna run through all this shit so tomorrow goes as well as it can,” Carmy answers, waving his notebook at you. 

He’s like a man possessed, but it’s one of the many reasons you love him. You pull the notebook out of his hands tossing it somewhere on the bed behind you. You place your knees on each side of his hips, before settling down on top of him. 

“Think you can relax a little tonight?”

He pulls you in, his arms moving over your hips. Carmy leans in, placing a small kiss against your glossy lips. 

“Think you can help me with that?”

You giggle in response, twisting your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck.

“I think… that could be arranged.”

Before anything too spicy can happen, there’s a knock at the door and you know it’s Syd. Carmy groans as you pull away, falling back onto the bed with a sigh of defeat. You climb off of him, heading to answer the door. 

“Hey, you ready?” Sydney asks, as you greet her. 

“Yeah, let me just grab my phone,” you reply, stepping aside to let her in. 

As she enters the hotel room, Carmy’s sitting up. With his feet planted firmly on the ground, he leans over, resting his forearms on his legs as he runs a hand through his messy curls. 

Sydney looks from you to a somewhat pouty Carmy, as if she knows she interrupted something. 

“Staying in tonight, Carm?” she asks him, as you gather your things. 

“Yeah,” he grumbles, and you can’t help but notice how tired he looks. 

Sydney rolls her eyes in response, “Don’t worry. I’ll have her back by nine.”

“Alright, I’m ready,” you say with a smile as you address Sydney. 

“You guys have fun,” Carmy nods, with a half assed wave.

“Don’t work too hard, boss,” Sydney adds, as the two of you turn to leave. “Oh and Carmy. You’ve got a little…” She gestures towards the lipstick you’ve left on his face. 

You laugh in response, and as you close the door, Carmy can hear Sydney’s ‘oh my god, you two are like rabbits’ comment in the distance. 

Carmy allows himself to fall back on the bed, reaching above his head to grab his notebook again. He’s honestly grateful to have a night to himself. He’s never been much for going out, or big social events, so having a night in feels like a good kind of calm before the storm – especially because the next few days will be full of social interactions. He’d always found New York City a little overstimulating. 

Between the dinner and the reception on Saturday, Carmy felt like he was collapsing under the enormous pressure – his only out being excellence. It’s not just the fact that being invited to cook at the James Beard house was a once in a lifetime opportunity, but there’s important business to announce here too. And then there’s the social aspect of it all, and he can’t help but feel like there are high expectations: from the food world, his reputation, your old friends from New York. And he wants to make everyone happy – he wants to impress them all. 

Something about being back here, and being back here with you, has him caught up in his head about it all. This is where you’d met. It’s also where he’d been at his lowest – right before Mikey died. So much has changed, and Carmy feels too large for his old battlefield.

Because that’s what it had been for him: a battlefield. 

A battle for his mental health, to rise to the top of the New York City fine dining scene, fighting with his feelings for you. 

Over the last two years, he had learned that he didn’t have to fight every single damn day. Some days he could just… be – be himself, whatever the fuck that meant, be a friend, and be with you. It felt strange – familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. Being back here makes him somehow feel like the total loser he was six years ago when he first arrived in NYC… and a completely different person at the same time. 

While he was over the moon when he got the call from the James Beard Foundation, he also couldn’t fight this uncomfortable feeling that’s been sitting in his stomach all week long. Carmy had never quite been able to come to terms with the whole ‘celebrity’ aspect of the food world. He knew what he could do in the kitchen. That was unquestionable. But the rest of it – the networking, the celebrity chef circles – was the part he felt most unsure about.

Ever since Sydney’s Rising Star win, he’d let her take center stage with her rising visibility in the culinary world. Actually, he’d been grateful that she was so good at it – that it seemed like she enjoyed the part of the job he hated. There was someone to take the pressure off of him – someone who thrived in front of the camera so that he didn’t have to. But he knows at some point this weekend, he’ll have to face the music. 

There were big changes coming to The Bear. 

*

It didn’t take long after the initial introductions for your friends to fawn over Sydney. They were more than happy to meet your friend they’d heard all about, and the incredible chef who was shaking up the Chicago food scene. 

“Well I’m glad to hear that some things have changed and that working with Carmy’s not a total nightmare any longer-?” Liz concludes your conversation about the restaurant, earning an eye roll from Maya and a laugh from both you and Sydney.

“Oh no it’s still tough sometimes,” Sydney says back. “He has his days. We all do.”

“Liz!” you protest, in regards to the Carmy-bashing.

“What?! You didn’t have to work directly under him back then!” she defends herself, before clarifying with Sydney. “And in his defense, Sydney, it was really our exec chef who was the real nightmare.”

“Oh she works directly under him, alright,” Maya jokes, raising an eyebrow at you. 

“And sometimes on top of him, and also-,” you quip back, ready to play along.

“Oh my god, you’re out of control and I am sick of you!” Sydney exclaims with a laugh in reference to your crass comment.

“So tell us more about the new restaurant,” Maya prompts, refocusing the conversation back to Sydney’s previous reveal.

Sydney tells your friends about The Bear’s plans to expand, and shares ideas she has that even you haven’t heard from Carmy yet. As she wraps up her story, she realizes what time it is, meaning that she’s gotta head uptown soon. She really only was supposed to stay for a glass of wine, but meeting your friends has been so fun that she’s lost track of time. 

“Shit. I have to head out,” she says. “But I’ve really loved meeting you guys. You’re coming to the dinner tomorrow night, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Absolutely.”

“And the reception!” you add gleefully, so glad you get to see your best friends three days in a row. 

“It’s been really great meeting you, Sydney,” Liz says, shooting you a look of approval. She squeezes your hand under the table momentarily, before saying, “Thanks for taking care of our girl. She speaks so highly of you.”

“Where are you off to next?” Maya asks, excitedly. 

“Syd’s got dinner plans,” you answer, waiting for Sydney to provide more detail.

“Yeah, I uh-, I got invited to one of the To Be Hosted events and it just worked out that we’d be in town for this the same weekend,” Sydney replies, a glimmer of excitement flashing through her eyes as she shares.

“Damn, you got invited to a supper club?” Liz marvels. “Okay!”

“Yeah because she’s a rockstar,” you cheer your friend on, saying it so matter of factly that even a stranger would believe you. 

You all say your goodbyes to Sydney before ordering food. It feels so good to be back in the city, back here with some of your best friends. Maya and Liz had been the friends that held you up, and you them, when you lived here. While you had met Liz at your last job, a sous chef under Carmy’s leadership, Maya worked in fashion and the two of you had become fast friends after meeting through an ex-boyfriend. Once you introduced the two of them to each other, the three of you had been inseparable ever since. 

They had always been your biggest cheerleaders – especially when it came to you and Carmy.

“She’s great,” Maya says, in reference to Sydney. 

“Right? I’m so excited for her. This is a huge deal: create her own menu, a chance to run kitchen without Carmy…” you agree, feeling deep satisfaction over the amazing people you have in your life. “We’re announcing the big news at the dinner tomorrow.”

“Speaking of, how is our favorite guy? What’s he up to tonight?” Maya asks, guiding the conversation back to Carmy. 

“I told him he could come but I think he wanted to stay in tonight. I think he needs some time to decompress. He’s been pretty high strung all week,” you answer. 

“Carmy? High strung?” Liz asks back sarcastically, earning a laugh from you.  “I’m kidding! I really am looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. 

Maya shakes her head, before taking a sip of her glass of wine. She’s always adored Carmy, but knows that Liz has a different relationship with him, having worked as a line cook. 

“You guys are… getting serious, huh?” Liz asks, glancing over at you. 

“Um.. I think those two were married after their first coffee date,” Maya adds. 

“It was not a date!” you insist, shooting her a look. 

Liz lets out an unconvinced laugh, and you accept defeat because you know they’ve always been right about you and Carmy. 

“Maya, don’t forget. Our girl is and has always been the Queen of Denial,” Liz adds, winking in your direction. 

“Oh ha-ha. You guys are so funny,” you reply dryly. You nod, thinking about you and Carmy’s relationship over the last few years. “Yeah uh… it’ll be three years in the Fall so… you could say it’s getting pretty serious.”

Your friends are beaming back at you in response to your admission, and while you’d love to spend all night talking about how head over heels you are for Carmy, you’re also kind of ready to shift the attention off of you and your relationship. 

“Enough about me. What’s going on with you guys?” you change the subject. 

It feels so good to catch up with your girl friends. You all agree to make it an early night. While Maya’s husband had agreed to put their kid to bed, she wants to make it home in time anyways. Liz has a date later, and before you know it, you’ve wrapped up dinner and are walking back to your hotel. You send Carmy a quick text, because you’re only a few blocks away. 

You: On the way back. 

New York City has always been so inspiring to you. The city itself feels alive – like there’s an electric undercurrent that always makes you feel so full. There’s never a dull moment, and it feels as if the potential for a wild adventure is always around the corner. It’s also the place that you and Carmy met, all those years ago. It’s funny. The version of you that met him six years ago never could’ve predicted this: that you’d actually get to be here together, after almost three years of loving each other fiercely. 

Your friends were and always have been right about you. 

Back then, you were Queen of Denial and even then, Carmy had been your king. 

But you’re here now: in the city you met in, stupidly in love with the man you’d met six years ago who had seemed terrified to merely have a conversation with you. 

Your phone buzzes in your hand, interrupting your trip down memory lane, as you peek at the text you just received. 

Carmy: Went out for a walk and a smoke. 

You type back a quick, yet short reply. 

You: Love you. 

When you return to the hotel room, you enjoy the quiet of the evening. It still feels like spring in NYC, so you open a window because it just feels too damn good outside. No wonder he’d gone for a walk. You kick your shoes off, placing them gently by the door, before stripping off your jacket and heading into the bathroom. 

As you pull your hair up and out of your face, piling it into one conglomerate on top of your head, you eye the large bathtub you’d admired earlier.  Not only are you in need of a relaxing soak, but you’re hoping you can persuade Carmy to join you – maybe even help him destress a little. You don’t think twice about it, as you strip off all of your clothes, sliding on one of the fluffy robes that the hotel has provided. You flip on the hot water, the sound of rumbling water against tile hitting your ears.

There’s a bath soak in a glass jar that you find on the bathroom counter, before adding it to the increasingly hot water. While it looks like a mixture of some kind of soak and epsom salt, large bubbles begin to form underneath the rapid stream of the faucet, and you inhale deeply. 

Lavender. Vanilla. Chamomile, maybe?

The smell puts you at ease and you can feel your shoulders melting away from your ears. 

It’s not long before Carmy returns, the bathtub is almost at its capacity and the bath soak that you put in the hot water has bubbled up and blossomed into large, sudsy configurations. You’ve put on a jazz playlist, the sounds of Ella Fitzgerald filling the small space as you hum along. 

“Babe?” Carmy calls out to you, as you hear the front door close behind him. 

“I’m in here,” you call to him, turning the volume of your phone down a few levels. . 

You hear a shuffle of shoes, before he’s peeking around the door frame, his eyes lighting up as soon as he sees you. He knows it’s silly. It’s not like he’s been able to be very present over the last week, and it begins to dawn on him that he’s missed you.

“How was your walk?” you ask softly. 

“Good.”

He looks around the bathroom, the air thick with humidity from the hot water. You turn the faucet off, as you’ve now filled the tub to its capacity.

“You look comfy.”

“I am. It’s a very comfy robe.”

You wait a beat before preparing your ask.

“Big tub,” you entice him, gesturing towards the bubble bath that awaits you. 

“Yeah?” he asks, a half smile on the edges of his lips as he takes a step towards you. 

“Big enough for two,” you nod, making your case. 

It’s all the convincing he needs. You’re removing your robe, leaving your bare body on display for him to see, and soon enough, he’s stripping down and climbing into the bathtub with you. You share an awkward laugh as the two of you clumsily figure out how to position yourselves for optimal comfort. Your back is pressed against his chest, and you’re truly in awe of the large bathtub that somehow holds the both of you.

It becomes progressively easier for Carmy to relax. Between the hot water, and your naked body pressed against his, thoughts and worries about tomorrow begin to slip away. The two of you enjoy the quiet intimacy between you, the soft sounds of your favorite jazz standards, and Carmy’s lazily dragging his fingertips across any bit of exposed skin that he can.

You lean your head back against his shoulder, and Carmy buries his face in the crevice where your neck and shoulders meet. 

“Why don’t we do this more often?” he asks, in between leaving a few slow-paced, soft kisses across your shoulders. 

“Hm?” you hum in response. From the way his mouth and hands move across your body, and the silky feeling of the hot water, you barely have a thought left in your head.

“This whole… bath thing,” he clarifies, exhaling a deep sigh. 

This may be the most relaxed he’s felt all week and he likes that you seem to be enjoying this too.  

“Probably because we have a tub that I can only assume was built for a small show dog,” you joke. 

He laughs dryly. 

“Fair enough.”

Carmy waits a beat before speaking again, enjoying how his mind has quieted for the first time in days.

“Let’s put it on the list… for when we’re ready to move to a new place,” he suggests, quietly. 

“Somewhere with a big tub?” you ask, only sort of surprised by his request. 

“Yeah.”

You turn your head to look at him, as Carmy presses a searing kiss to your lips. You feel his hand snake between your legs and you begin to understand exactly why he’s enjoying this whole bath thing. 

“As much as I’m enjoying this…” he whispers against your lips. “Think you maybe want to get out of this tub…”

Another kiss.

“… dry off…”

You slide your tongue against his as his fingertips move higher up your inner thigh, earning a hiss of pleasure from you. 

“…not put our clothes back on?”

And then he’s swallowing your moans in his mouth, as he continues his exploration. Your head is spinning, and it’s not just the hot water that makes you feel as if your soul was set aflame.

“Yes.”

*

The next morning, you wake up alone. On the bedside table there’s a note in Carmy’s scratchy handwriting that reads:

Couldn’t sleep. Went to Chelsea Market. Love you.

You let out a frustrated sigh. Last night had been incredible but you also knew it’d be back to the grind today. While you’re excited for him – and for tonight – you’re also kind of ready for this to be over. You’re ready to have your boyfriend back.

read: bonus smut scene | chapter two

taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila

[softestaries]

Okay, but a Home Alone AU where Walburga and Orion accidentally leave Regulus behind when they go on holiday to New York, and he wakes up alone in the house like 'damn, should have seen that one coming, always the spare'. Sirius is already in New York visiting the Potters, and Freaks The Fuck Out when he realises his parents forgot his baby fucking brother who he's fairly certain has never cooked a meal in his life. Cue Sirius and James frantically trying to make it back to London in time for Christmas.

Meanwhile Barty and Evan attempt to rob Grimmauld Place, and Regulus interrupts their grand plan by opening the door to invite them inside like 'take what you want, just don't touch my room'. To which Barty and Evan exchange concerned looks like hey what's up with this depressed ass kid? Why is he here all alone? Why's he offering to give them the combination to his father's vault where there's literal diamonds? Why's he telling them how much each family heirloom is worth? what the fuck? And Regulus just shrugs when they ask him about it like 'well my parents evidently already took everything important with them on holiday, so.'

And It's at this point Barty and Evan decide they're adopting Regulus.

On Christmas day, James and Sirius burst through the front door to discover Barty, Evan and Regulus all planning to rob the rest of the street.

[qtkat]

..who do i write for ?

✩ everyone i write for might not be in my masterlist yet because i haven’t published anything about them — but that doesn’t mean i won’t

✩ i generally only write for female readers, so if you want anything else specify so in your request

✩ as long as my requests are open any one of these characters are available to send in!

˗ˏˋʚ SKINS UK ɞˎˊ˗

gen two —

cook, freddie, jj, effy, emily, naomi, katie

gen three —

rich, alo, nick, mini, grace (but basically anyone because it’s my favorite gen)

˗ˏˋʚ THE BIG BANG THEORY ɞˎˊ˗

general tbbt —

sheldon, raj, howard, leonard, bernadette, amy, penny, stuart

young sheldon —

romantic; georgie, mary, pastor rob, connie

platonic; missy, sheldon

˗ˏˋʚ MISCELLANEOUS ɞˎˊ˗

male —

austin!elvis, benedict bridgerton, steve harrington, eddie munson, rory!euro, carl grimes, carl gallagher, lip gallagher, phil dunphy, luke dunphy, leo!jim carroll, cillian!oppenheimer, harry potter, ron weasley, mike wheeler, neteyam sully, jj maybank, james maguire

female —

daphne bridgerton, eloise bridgerton, violet bridgerton, nancy wheeler, robin buckley, fiona gallagher, haley dunphy, clare dunphy, gloria pritchett, blair waldorf, ginny weasley, hermione granger, fiona goode, zoe benson, madison montgomery, misty day, beth harmon, michelle mallon, orla mccool, clare devlin, erin quinn

[residentrookie]

hc where regulus has zero idea how to cook after living his whole life with private chefs cooking for him, so when he finally leaves his family he starts surviving solely off of kraft mac and cheese and LOVING IT. when james finds out, he’s seriously alarmed but doesn’t want to rob regulus of his new favorite meal so he starts offering to make it for him but blends vegetables into the cheese so regulus is getting some form of nutrients in his diet.

many years later when regulus discovers this betrayal, blood is nearly drawn.

[drgarrisonandpaul]

The Sternritter Kitchen

The thing that has been in my brain for a while

Quilge - He doesn't like bringing drinks to his room because he has a paranoid fear of spilling, so you can see him hanging out for like 2 hours in the morning while he drinks his coffee. Probably sitting cross-legged at the table

Askin - He also sits around while he drinks his coffee, except the coffee is an excuse to sit around and listen to all the gossip and drama. Also he has, like, 2 cups a day, one in morning and the other in the afternoon. If you catch him cooking anything, stick around, it's gonna be bougie and its gonna have some kind of cheese sauce

Mask - He pops in to make himself a sandwich then fucks back off to his personal gym (or the Sternritter theater) to watch movies and hang out with James. The big boy does interact with the other Sternritters, and he does appreciate their company, but James is his number 1 priority. ...unless there's a fight going on, then he's gonna stay and watch

Nanana - This man savors his food and refuses to take it into his room, so he will very much be sitting around relaxing during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Sure, he's into the gossip, but he moreso loves the SMELL of the kitchen. Especially when Askin is cooking

Uryu - ... there's a kitchen?

Giselle - As previously mentioned, she likes to sit in the kitchen and threaten people with her Funko Pops, however she will also pretend that the Funko Pops are the ones cooking if she decides to make anything and will, in fact, blame them if it doesn't come out great. She's a surprisingly good baker and likes making grape-flavored things

Meninas - Why would she waste her time with the kitchen when she can be off petting the Sternritter cats or dunking on people in CoD?

Candice - Can be found scowling while making herself protein shakes at various times throughout the day while trying to be healthy and can be found eating Giselle's baked goods at night because they're too good to pass up

Liltotto - Leans on the wall in the hall just outside of the kitchen to catch the gossip as it leaves. If Askin is cooking, he'll sometimes just kinda- hold the spoon in the air beside himself and wait for her mouth to come stretchin in to taste what he's making, at which point you'll hear, from just outside the kitchen "tastes nice. needs more pepper-"

Gremmy - Banned from the kitchen because he tried being "creative" and made mustard gas

Äs Nödt - Slips out of his room solely for Askin's cooking (or sometimes to steal sandwich ingredients from Mask) like a little mouse, then promptly goes back to his room

Jugram - Though it was his money that decorated and remodeled the kitchen in the first place, he is banned from it because he "ruins the vibe" as Quilge and Bazz-B put it

Ryūken - ... there's a kitchen? Pt. 2

Bazz-B - He makes Oatmeal Raisin cookies and they are the only good Oatmeal Raisin cookies in the world. Other than that? He's probably eating someone else's leftovers, especially if he knows that they were looking forward to said leftovers

Bambietta - Is the reason that the kitchen had to be remodeled. Isn't banned because she's the one who cooks when Askin doesn't feel like it. If something she's making has chicken in it? You BEST BELIEVE it's gonna be bangin. And Mask and James are first in line at her BBQs

Yhwach - Banned from the kitchen for ruining the vibe. Before he was banned, he hyped everyone up for his "famous lasagna recipe" and it was the worst lasagna the kitchen has ever seen. Being forced to eat it just to make him happy was an unpleasant experience and the whole ordeal is probably the REAL reason he was banned

Robert Accutrone - He is the reason there is a whole cabinet JUST for cereal. Rob is a cereal fiend, if he can get his hands on it, it's gone. Especially if it's somethin fruity like Froot Loops, Apple Jacks, etc.

BG9 - Doesn't eat. Doesn't need to be in the kitchen. Visits once every few days to listen in on the new drama. There is a picture somewhere in the kitchen of him making breakfast for everyone with a whisk taped to one of his wrists for "maximum efficiency" (he makes amazing omelets)

Cang Du - He doesn't care who's cooking, it's all the same to him, he's gonna swoop in to steal a plate and then go back to the definitely serious business he was doing no matter what it is, who made it, or what time of day it is. The only time he didn't steal a plate of something was during the "Yhwach's Lasagna" fiasco and everyone has been accusing him of being a double-agent ever since because HOW DID HE KNOW?! (because he could smell its failure from a mile away)

[trohpi]

following this microfic i couldnt stop thinking about regulus and his relationship with the evans family so heres my little ramble

so primrose and ciarán evans are very much your middle-of-the-road white suburban irish parents. primrose is a short blonde slightly nosy pta mom and ciarán is a six foot six redheaded giant that wears kiss the cook aprons. theyre supremely embarrassing about their childrens accomplishments which, as you can imagine, is extremely baffling to regulus as a concept

(also side-note, but lily is the definition of a daddys girl and on the flip side, petunia is 100% a mommys girl. its important to me that you know this)

he first meets them the summer after first year. he befriended lily & snape at hogwarts and convinces his parents to let him visit spinners end (they only let him go bc snape is part of the prince family, and he conveniently left out the fact that lily would be there too)

quite frankly, regulus is terrified of both her parents when he first meets them, but particularly her father. ciarán is big and loud and passionate, all traits that usually mean danger for regulus. primrose unnerves him bc she is very much like his mother, but shes also her complete opposite. she has all of walburgas best traits and none of her worst (well, besides her anger issues, but unlike walburga she doesnt take it out on her children). regulus doesnt like talking to her because it feels like seeing what his mother could have been had she been more… well, motherly

the thing that brings him and ciarán together is astronomy. ciarán loves the stars, he has a borderline obsessive knowledge about astronomy and has a very expensive telescope set up on the balcony. regulus is intrigued by the muggle perspective of the field and eventually they end up having hours long conversations about the topic regularly, leaving lily and her mother to commiserate about their partners being robbed from them

with primrose and regulus, im not sure they ever reach quite the same comfortability that regulus has with her husband (likely bc both reg & ciarán are probably autistic which was an accident that i now stand by). i think he and lilys mom would be brought together by cooking, by which i mean their horrible cooking skills. sometimes they try cooking dinner together and given their strong propensity to burn water plus their equally strong perfectionism, the results are bad

when hes disowned, the only place he can think to go is lilys. as much as he loves sirius, he would rather die than live with james potter (sorry james, love u mate 😔❤️). he shows up in the middle of the night on the knight bus and is immediately welcomed with open arms. by this point, petunia has moved out and lives with vernon so he takes her old bedroom even though 90% of the time he ends up in lilys bed. her parents turn a blind eye to it knowing that he has nightmares and she brings him comfort

on an unrelated note, when effie & monty and primrose & ciarán meet they become bffs. sirius is ecstatic, regulus is tired knowing that hell now have to see three of the four marauders at every family function going forward

and the end <3

[holylulusworld]

Deranged Marriage (3) - Like hell

Summary: Your father wants you to choose a husband. Your chosen one doesn’t like the idea one bit.

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky Barnes x (Mafia daughter)! Reader

Characters: Steve Rogers, your father, Clint Barton, Peggy Carter

Warnings: arranged marriage, language, unwilling groom, angst, Bucky being an ass, strong/bratty reader, banter, hand around throat, sexual tension, idiots in love

Deranged Marriage masterlist

<< Part 2

“Give me something I can work with. Y/F/N wants me to marry his daughter,” Bucky grunts. “No, he forces me into marriage with her. You must find something I can use against her.”

“Buck, what did she do this time,” Steve chuckles as his friend grumbles under his breath. “Come on, humor me, my friend. I want to know how she got under your skin this time.”

“She accused me of—” Bucky sneers. “That little brat said I got a small dick. How dare she! She said that all I’m capable of is robbing grannies and shit.”

“Ah, she bruised your ego,” the blonde snickers. He can’t believe his friend doesn’t see that it would be so much easier if only Bucky admitted he got a thing for you. “You hurt her at the party. I’m telling you again to not push her too far.”

“But she…she makes me so mad. That audacity! She wants to force me into marriage. Maybe she’ll even try to turn me into a houseman or crap.”

“You’ll make a terrible houseman. You can’t even cook,” Steve says. “Well, maybe if you wear nothing but a kiss the cook apron you can make up for your lack of talent.”

“You’re not helpful, Steve.”

“I don’t try to be helpful. Buck, leave the girl alone or marry her. There is no halfway,” the blonde puts his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Y/N got no friends left thanks to you.”

“What are you doing, sweetie?” your father watches you sit on one of the old worn-out leather armchairs at the library once again.

Since your latest encounter with Lavender, you doubt your character. Maybe she was right to be afraid of you and your family. You never killed anyone, but your father did. All the people you know are criminals and you are fairly sure it’s not normal to sleep with a gun hidden underneath your pillow.

“Nothing,” you shrug. “I just wanted to read one of the books I bought. Is all.”

“What about your friends?” he softly asks. Your father knows something must be wrong between you and Lavender. He hasn’t heard her name for a while and his men told him about the little fire you made the other day.

“I got no friends,” you sniffle. “I never had any friends, dad. You know that. Lavender only pretended to be my friend. She was afraid of you and me…”

“She…what?” he sits on the other armchair, the one belonging to your mother once upon a time. “I’m sorry, sweetie. Being my daughter must’ve been tough for you.”

“You always were a good father,” you give him a cracked smile. “I’m a little lonely, is all. All the fun I had with my friends and all the memories are tainted now. Barnes forced me to open my eyes and now, there is no turning back.”

“I should kill him.”

“He’s not worth it,” dropping your gaze you try to hide the tears in your eyes. “I wanted him because I—”

“I know, sweetie,” your father sighs deeply. “You’re right, he’s not worth it. If you want me to call the wedding off, say the words.”

“I want him to suffer. If I cannot get happy, he won’t feel happy in his life ever again,” you purse your lips. “He’ll make a nice arm candy, won’t he?”

Your father laughs loudly as you give him a devilish smile. “All for you, sweetie. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Good. I want a party to announce my engagement with James Buchanan Barnes, my newest arm candy. He’ll regret rejecting and hurting me. I’ll make that bastard suffer, that’s a matter of fact.”

“Uh-looks like you won’t get out of this now, huh?” Steve looks at the invitation your father sent to him and Peggy. “Fuck, he wants to throw a party and invited the whole fucking mob!”

“That’s her! I swear she’s a she-demon, a devil in disguise,” Bucky rips the invitation he got into pieces. “I won’t attend that party. She can’t force me to marry her. That brat!”

“What goes around comes back around, Buck. If only you treated the girl with some respect she wouldn’t fight back. And I can tell, she fights dirty.”

Steve can barely hold back a chuckle. “Stop defending her. You are my friend.”

“I’m your friend. But you have to admit, you shouldn’t have embarrassed the poor girl at the party. She cried Bucky. You were cruel, and you know it.”

“She declared that I must marry her at the party! I did what I had to do Steve,” Bucky grunts. “Fine. If she wants to fight dirty, I’ll fight even dirtier.”

“You look beautiful tonight,” you smile as your father sways with you to the music. “Your fiancé should be here soon enough. I hope he’ll behave this time.”

“He’ll make a scene, you know it,” closing your eyes you lean your head against your father’s shoulder. “Barnes won’t give in so easily. Maybe this was a stupid idea.”

“You wanted to show him who’s in charge,” your father reminds you. “Don’t back down now. He must learn his place. If not, you can look for someone you like more.”

“I want what you and mom had, daddy,” you whisper. “Do you think Barnes can give me that? I don’t think so.”

“Sir, you should see this,” Clint, one of your father’s men says. “I’m sorry, we tried to stop him.”

“What’s the matter?” you lift your head and dip it to follow your father’s eyes. 

“You’ve got the be shitting me,” your father growls. “He cannot disrespect my daughter like this.”

You huff and shake your head. Bucky just walked into the ballroom, a petite blonde, and a busty redhead in his arms. He smirks darkly before he dips his head to kiss the blonde.

“He’s an asshole, I knew that already,” you hold back a sob. Behind your fake smile, you hide the hurting very well. You’ll never admit it, but deep down inside you had hoped Bucky would change his mind.

“Clint, get Rumlow and Lang,” your father barks orders at Clint. “I want Barnes to feel the pain tonight. He’ll never disrespect my daughter ever again.”

“I’ve got this,” you clear your throat and straighten your back. “Let me do this.”

Your father watches you walk to the middle of the room, ignoring Bucky and the girls hanging on his every word.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” you raise your voice to get everyone’s attention. The room falls silent as all eyes are on you. “Thank you for coming here. Tonight, we wanted to celebrate my engagement but—”

You take a deep breath. There is no turning back now. If you want to hit Bucky Barnes, you’ll do it hard, fast, and without mercy. You’ll hit him where it hurts the most.

His ego.

“I changed my mind,” you fake a dramatic sigh. “You see, I’ll need a true leader by my side. Dangerous, strong, smart, and, loyal. And most importantly, a potent man able to give me an heir. I’m my father’s legacy and I want this empire to live on. Sadly, my chosen fiancé cannot give me this.”

The room falls completely silent. It seems like everyone holds their breath as Bucky drops his arms from around the girls. He glares at you, murder in his eyes.

“So, enjoy the party. There will be no engagement for the time being,” you clap your hands. “Now, eat, drink and celebrate our way of life.”

You smirk at Bucky before turning on your heels. He can never know that he hurt you deeply once again.

“Fuck—shit…fuck…” Steve stammers as you leave the ballroom. “I should do something. Right? He’s going to kill someone tonight. I’m afraid it’s Y/N.”

“She just ripped him a new one,” Peggy chuckles. “I love that girl. She has balls…I give her that.”

You’re sitting at the library, reading yet another book, when the next thing you know, Bucky walks into the room, slamming the door shut.

You didn’t hear him coming due to the music blaring from downstairs, and he scares the shit out of you as he storms toward you.

“YOU ARE DEAD!” 

You huff and turn your attention back toward the book in your hands. If only you can ignore him for a little longer, you can go back to licking your wounds.

“You got what you wanted. I don’t want to marry you any longer. You’re free of me, Barnes. I don’t do small dicks or selfish pricks.”

“I’ll kill you,” for a man his size he moves pretty fast. You can’t even gasp before his hand is around your throat; the metal one. He forces you to look up at him. “Look at me, bitch. You are dead.”

“Be a man and do it,” you choke against his hand. He squeezes a little harder, eyes dilated and lips parted. “Kill me and you are a dead man.”

Bucky leans closer, nose brushing your cheek as he holds your throat in a tight grip. 

“I killed people for less,” he snarls in your ear. “You just don’t give up. I knew you are trouble. What do I have to do to get you off my back?”

“It was your choice, Barnes,” you push against his shoulders. “How dare you bring those wenches to my home! You disrespected me, my father, and my home first.”

“Big talk for such a weak little girl,” his hand wanders a little lower, thumb brushing your skin on its way. “If I squeeze just a little harder, you’ll never wake.”

“Do it,” you pucker your lips. “If you are man enough. Come on, you are good at hurting and embarrassing me. Why don’t you end it like a man?”

“Fucking brat,” he groans against your cheek, lips almost brushing your skin. “I should kill you. You deserve to get punished and…no. This would be too easy. I will make you pay for this.”

“Oh, I’m scared,” you challenge. “Do your worst, Barnes…”

>> Part 4

Tags in reblog.

[acheronist]

HI ISABEL i was thinking abt ur beechey boys + peglar/armitage extended cinematic universe while doing my laundry earlier (<- normal guy behaviour) and now i'm curious if u've thought of any actors/face claims for them – beechey boys especially bc we don't even have terror versions to use lol 👀🎤

HI GENEEEE 🖤 this is interesting.... honestly i've never been very good at fan casting shit because my default is always just going "x character should be played by riz ahmed" which ummmm would not work here i fear.

anyways everyone watch out there's gonna be mummy images below the cut

okay i really don't care about actors enough to do this well ummm LMAO johnny bertchtold YOU🫵🏻 are now john shaw torrington!! except johnny's way too tall and also ripped to be jorts.... i will say tho, as annoying as the john torrington/david young erasure is in the amc show, they did kind of nail it with alfie kingsnorth... now that's a skinny blonde bitch who looks half dead! he's got the right big round eyes + prominent cheekbones as jorts

if we could get some mutton chops and the uniform of a royal marine private onto ferdinand kingsley i think he'd be fantastic as william braine..... actually now that i'm looking at this i kind of feel like a genius for this one LMAO??

john hartnell is a little harder because i've already decided in my heart that this daguerreotype is 100% undeniably him even though the chances of it are actually probably very low. in actuality. but i have tried to match up the daguerreotype "hartnell" with the mummy hartnell and i do think it's a super close match.... i just wish mr. daguerreotype hadn't tucked his hair over his ear so i could compare the shape of john's ear.... but anyways there is actually one bg dude from terror amc who i have also kind of decided could be jarts!!! he was one of the dudes who voted to stay on terror and die there instead of out on the shale before everyone abandoned ship... he's got the right haircut for it <3 but also i think rob james-collier could be kind of a slay for jartnell if we can get him back to his downton abbey prime

and then thomas morgan hasn't really made his debut in the beechey boys cinematic universe (yet. chapter two still cooking......) and we also haven't exhumed HIM so this is really just like throwing a dart and calling it good. i did draw a little version of him here tho . so do with this as you will i guess. me when i'm just making up whatever the fuck. he should be kind of sickly looking as well though because my dude was going THROUGH it (+ he had one million pre existing conditions) before he died.

and for like... henry & thomas theyre much more nebulous in my brain..... maybe i'll try and draw them later!? i did do fanart here of henry tho but i fear it's got a heavy amc casting influence on what he looked like.

real life facts: thomas (5'9") is 2 inches taller than henry (5'7"), henry probably had broad/strong arms and shoulders due to climbing around in the rigging for his whole career, both of them had brown hair, and thomas was older than henry enough that he was probably starting to get salt-and-pepper grey during the miserable stressful parts of the expedition. henry's id papers describe his complexion as "sallow" and based on how many captains said he had a shitty/indifferent/bored attitude while working leads me to believe my king had chronic resting bitch face + looked vaguely exhausted and pale and unwell even when he was healthy.

also in my heart amc nailed it with giving thomas curly hair tho... charlie kelly is cute to meeeeee... unfortunately he isn't 40 years old enough. no source no facts anyways i just want to believe in curly girl armitage supremacy. ALSOOOO in my heart (again) henry has sailor tattoos-- HOLD FAST on his knuckles for good luck in the ropes + two swallows on his chest under each collarbone to mark his 10,000th mile at seas. i forgot what i was talking about. i think do think k*vin g*thrie's face was honestly too conventionally attractive for henry though. i just know my man was mid as fuck. frown lines from scowling, ink stains on his fingers at all times, never worn sunblock ever, thinks splashing water on his face counts as moisturizing etc.... MY henry peter peglar is pretty weather-beaten and looks like a mean cunt and sometimes he snarls at people like a badly trained dog. amen.

[hooked-on-elvis]

"If You Don't Come Back" (1973)

Recorded July 21, 1973 at Stax Studios, Memphis · Released on October 1, 1973 · Album: Raised On Rock

MUSICIANS Guitar: James Burton, Reggie Young, Charlie Hodge. Bass: Tommy Cogbill. Drums: Ronnie Tutt, Jerry Carrigan. Piano: Bobby Wood. Organ: Bobby Emmons. Vocals: Kathy Westmoreland, Mary (Jeannie) Greene, Mary Holladay, Ginger Holladay, J.D. Sumner & The Stamps. OVERDUBS Guitar: Dennis Linde

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If You Don't Come Back" — LYRICS Songwriters: Jerry Leiber/Mike Stoller (Woke up early in the morning) (What did the poor boy find) Well the car was gone and you were gone And I almost lost my mind If you don't come back (if you don't come back) Hum, if you don't come back today (if you don't come back today) You can call up the people at the crazy house And take this crazy man away (He threw himself off a gas stone wall) (He tore his clothes out the door) I ran out on the street in my stocking feet Tell the police I've been robbed If you don't come back (if you don't come back) Hum, if you don't come back today (if you don't come back today) Well you can call up the people at the crazy house And take this crazy man away Mrs. Brown's been talking about me To the people across the street She said (I cooked that boy a pot full of stew, But the poor thing just won't eat) If you don't come back (if you don't come back) Hum, if you don't come back today (if you don't come back today) You can call up the people at the crazy house And take this crazy man away

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RECORDING SESSION Studio Sessions for RCA. July 20–25 1973: Stax Studios, Memphis On that first night Elvis left the studio after four hours, having recorded absolutely nothing. He arrived late again on the following night, his speech so slurred that he seemed scarcely awake. The sound of his voice on the session tapes makes it painfully evident that he had little interest in recording at all. Freddy Bienstock began by presenting a Leiber and Stoller number, “If You Don’t Come Back,” which he had secured under the new publishing arrangement, and Elvis barely managed to drag himself through five indistinguishable takes before Felton called him in to listen to the results. In the end the ninth take became the sorry-sounding master, devoid of anything like fire or enthusiasm. Excerpt: "Elvis Presley, A Life in Music: The Complete Recording Sessions" by Ernst Jorgensen. Foreword by Peter Guralnick (1998)

Elvis Presley at Stax Studios in Memphis, July 1973.

In order to understand better what was going on in Elvis' life at the time the first Stax recording session was held in July 1973, let's get some facts on his life during that year.

1973 RECORDING SESSIONS (BACKGROUND STORY)

The Aloha From Hawaii concert (January 1973) demanded a lot of energy from Elvis. Once it was over he was very tired due to all the months of preparation for this huge concert to which, for example, he went through an extremely restrictive diet to get in a good shape and, to make matters worse, couldn't get enough rest at night either; but things would get even worse in the following months with a very busy schedule ahead.

Following the Aloha From Hawaii was a four-weeks engagement at the Hilton Hotel in Las Vegas (January 26 - February 23, 1973), to which Elvis missed several performances due to a bad case of laryngitis (he wasn't even supposed to be working, according to doctor's orders). After the Vegas engagement Elvis had a mini tour in April (April 22 - April 30, 1973) when he performed in Arizona, California, Oregon, Washington and Colorado. Not enough, Elvis then had a two-weeks engagement scheduled at the Sahara Tahoe Hotel, Las Vegas (May 4th - May 20th 1973), to which some dates also had their concerts cancelled, allegedly due to the flu and a chest infection, and back on the road once more another mini-tour followed (June 20th - July 3rd 1973), with Elvis visiting cities in Alabama, Georgia, New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Missouri, Tennessee, and Oklahoma. Other than demanding a lot of him physically at a moment his health was as delicate as it was, those concerts ended up being emotionally tiring for Elvis as well. Some of those concerts were highly criticized by the press, highlighting that, for example, Elvis had gained thirty pounds, looked puffy and white-faced, besides he was blinking against the stage lights during the shows (due to secondary glaucoma to which he had been diagnosed in March, 1971) and on top of that, the worst for the audience, his voice sounded weak and his performance lacked in enthusiasm. It wasn't the Elvis Presley everyone knew, loved and praised, and knowing about all that criticism must have felt disappointing to Elvis himself.

The origin for all those health problems, apart from physical exhaustion caused by pre-diagnosed health conditions, adding to unhealthy eating habits and not enough rest, was also emotional. Elvis' personal life was not in the best fitting. He was dating Linda Thompson since mid-1972 but in 1973 he was still dealing with the divorce procedures with Priscilla; the heartbreaking part of it all, what could've been affecting Elvis' mind the most, was worrying about what the divorce would cause to his daughter, Lisa. That can be supposed by a bad reaction to a song Elvis would cut at the Stax, "My Boy"; He showed his feelings about that song telling Felton Jarvis that he wanted it to be done in two takes tops. When asked to sing the song for the third time Elvis snapped at Felton (record producer), "I told you to get this goddamn thing in two takes. I can’t sing it no more." Elvis' divorce with Priscilla was only final on October 9, 1974.

As evident, Elvis was dealing with a lot in 1973. His choice of city for a recording session at that time was Memphis because he wasn't feeling specially excited with cutting records at that moment, let alone travelling to get to a studio in another city. The American Sound Studio's producer, Chips Moman, who had worked with Elvis in 1969, was no longer in Memphis, so the Stax and its crew was a fairly good alternative to them. The initial Stax recording session ended up being disappointing- with only seven songs getting a master approved to be released on the next album. With the lack of sufficient material for a new album after the July recording session at Stax, RCA managed to get their mobile-recording truck at Elvis' property for a home recording session at Elvis' home in Palm Spring (September 22-23, 1973) because Elvis was hesitating in going back to the studio one more time. The album Raised on Rock was finished after that home recording session, and it was released the following month (October 1973), but proved to be a failure in sales.

By December 1973 Elvis seemed to be feeling good again, at least good enough to go back to the studio for another recording session at Stax. He was in a better place physically and mentally by then. But as for the first recording session at Stax, that's the background story... things didn't worked that smoothly in that studio at first.

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FURTHER INFO Vegas 1973 engagements (cancelled concerts)

LAS VEGAS HILTON — January 26 - February 23

Elvis was supposed to perform two concerts per night — a Dinner concert at 8:15pm and a Midnight concert at 12:00am) — with an exception for the opening night, with only one evening performance. From January 26 to February 23, 1973 for that Vegas engagement at the Hilton, Elvis performed every single night but the January 31st, with both concerts being cancelled. The other cancelled concerts were exclusively the Midnight concerts, with Elvis performing the dinner concert in those dates. The days the Midnight concert was cancelled were: February 1, February 6 and 7; February 13, 14 and 15.

SAHARA TAHOE — May 4th - May 20th 1973 (ended up sooner, on May 16th)

As for the Sahara Tahoe Hotel engagement (May 4th - May 20th 1973), the agreement was similar in schedule as for the shows at the Hilton — Dinner (in Sahara Tahoe at 10:00pm instead of 8:15pm) and Midnight (12:00am), with the opening night having one evening concert only. On that engagement there was also an additional show ("Mother’s Day" concert) at 3:00am on May 13, apart from the Dinner and Midnight usual concerts prior to this one (which was a benefit concert; the proceeds would go to Lake Tahoe’s Barton Memorial Hospital where Elvis' mother Gladys had once undergone surgery). From a two-weeks engagement, both concerts from May 17 to 20th, 1973 had to be cancelled (eight concerts).

Source: elvisconcerts.com, elvisinfonet.com, graceland.com; "Elvis Presley, A Life in Music: The Complete Recording Sessions" by Ernst Jorgensen.

[bearsinpotatosacks]

If anyone wanted to know the ideas I have for the Bear, here's the list so far

Current WIP: Richie, after everything failing and falling apart in s3, after how tired he is, and how he thinks he's alone, spirals. Syd's leaving, the Bear gets a bad review, Jimmy pulls the funding and it's looking like they’re going to close. He can't take losing everything again, he can't take being the one to put everyone back together again.

So one night, he writes everyone letters and tries to end his own life. He ends up calling the paramedics and we see the immediate aftermath of Tiff getting the call as she's next of kin, her telling Frank, telling Eva and telling the staff of the Bear. The staff trying to visit but Richie only letting Nat in as she knew the most about how tired he was and how alone he felt. Very angsty, also abstract at the moment as I'm writing particular scenes but am finding it hard to connect them

A follow on from this is: The Bear closes and most people move to the new restaurant, or the Bear reforms as something new. Richie and Jess start dating. She unlocks a hidden side to Richie that even he didn't really think about, his more submissive side that likes someone else taking control, likes just doing what he's told and getting praise, likes things getting rough because he trusts her. He gets a massive bruise on his neck when they go a little further than usual and everyone’s concerned. He ends up embarrassingly having to tell people he's a kinky bitch

A more fleshed out idea: Richie and Syd are closing up when he spots someone about to break in. He hides Syd in the walk in and faces the intruders who hit him around a bit, try to rob the place, then smack his head against the bar when he tells them there's no cash on the premises (something tells me people pay beforehand when booking or they're card only). He tries to fight them when they get distracted but ends up being shot and they run away with his phone. Syd's been messaging Carmy, who rushes back to find Richie unconscious and Syd in the walk in. Richie goes loopy with blood loss as they try to stop the bleeding and keep him awake, awakening Carmy to their secret relationship. They get him to hospital, he has surgery, and there’s a lot of talking done while they wait for him to get out.

And a new one from today: Syd returns to the Bear after realising that Shapiro's offer is good on paper, Carmy becomes a hands off boss to let himself heal. Syd and Richie start dating, 2 years later they go to the James Beard Award Ceremony as they were nominated, she forgets her birth control snd ends up pregnant. A few fics follow her realising she wants the baby, them telling her dad, Nat, Carmy and Tiff, them telling the crew at the Bear when it's getting hard to hide as her chef blouse thing doesn't fit anymore, her and Richie arguing over names, her having an induced labour and c-section that goes wrong and ends up with her needing an emergency hysterectomy, people visiting after the birth, and the baby's christening

Then some more brief ones

Richie gets ill and people look after him, wrote about this here

Richie’s parents visit the Bear, wrote this post about it pre-season 3 so there's some adjustments but it's mostly the same

A follow on from the fic I posted where Syd tells Carmy about the offer, starts having a panic attack, Richie calms her down then has a massive argument with Carmy where he reveals a lot of personal shit that he's never gone into from the last months of Mickey’s life to Carmy showing up at the Bear

Richie gets Syd over to help him batch cook and they fuck about it

Syd helps cater Eva’s birthday party and has to dress up as a princess so comes in as Tiana, Richie's wearing some fake alligator suit as the alligator from the Princess and the Frog

[best-animated-short-tourney]

Accepted Shorts List

This list will be updated as shorts are selected, and will become a masterdoc for entries.

Piper, dir. Alan Barillaro (Available on Disney+)

Dissolve, dir. Carina Heller

Sharp Teeth, dir. David James Armsby

Tar Boy, dir. James Lee

Moses of Prosthesis, dir. Gagame

Quasi at the Quackadero, dir. Sally Cruikshank

Welcome to Hell, dir. Erica Wester

Friendly Shadow, dir. David James Armsby

The Acorn Princess, dir. Kris Yim

Drawn to You, dir. Eleanor Davitt

Scattershot, dir. Jade Smania

Ramshackle, dir. Zi Chen

Paperman, dir. John Kahrs (Available on Disney+, Amazon, iTunes, Google Play)

Loop, dir. Erica Milsom (Available on Disney+)

Jinxy Jenkins & Lucky Lou, dir. Michael Bidinger and Michelle Kwon

Kitbull, dir. Rosana Sullivan

Out, dir. Steven Clay Hunter

In a Heartbeat, dir. Beth David and Esteban Bravo

Ice Merchants, dir. João Gonzalez

Diamond Jack, dir. Rachel Kim

Lackadaisy (Pilot), dir. Fable Siegel

The Cat Came Back, dir. Cordell Barker

Fuelled, dir. Michelle Hao and Fawn Chan

The Man Who Planted Trees, dir. Frédéric Back

My Friends Take the Night Bus, dir. Sofi

Wallace & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers, dir. Nick Park

The Naked King -What a Beautiful Life-, dir. rapparu

Coming Out, dir. Cressa Maeve Beer

Dear Girl, dir. Choi Ji-eun

Jibaro, dir. Alberto Mielgo (Available on Netflix, Love Death + Robots S3E9)

The Witness, dir. Alberto Mielgo (Available on Netflix, Love Death + Robots S1E3)

The Legend of Pipi, dir. Julia Schoel and Birgit Uhlig

The Cameraman's Revenge, dir. Wladyslaw Starewicz

What's Opera, Doc? dir. Chuck Jones

The Dover Boys at Pimento University; or, The Rivals of Roquefort Hall, dir. Chuck Jones

Kitty Kornered, dir. Bob Clampett

A Wild Hare, dir. Tex Avery

Everything Will Be OK, dir. Don Hertzfeldt

Yankee Doodle Daffy, dir. Friz Freleng

Duck Dodgers in the 24½th Century, dir. Chuck Jones

Long Gone Gulch, dir. Tara Billenger and Zach Bellissimo

I Love to Singa, dir. Tex Avery

Opal, dir. Jack Stauber

Scaredy Cat, dir. Chuck Jones

I Should Leave This Mall I Think, dir. Noodle

Porky's Duck Hunt, dir. Tex Avery

Bambi Meets Godzilla, dir. Marv Newland

Porky in Wackyland, dir. Bob Clampett

Rabbit Seasoning, dir. Chuck Jones

One Froggy Evening, dir. Chuck Jones

Don vs. Raph, dir. Jhonen Vasquez

Cat City, dir. Victoria Vincent

Roller Coaster Rabbit, dir. Rob Minkoff

Tummy Trouble, dir. Rob Minkoff

Trail Mix-Up, dir. Barry Cook

Blood Bound, dir. Lyly Hoang

Ciao, Alberto, dir. McKenna Harris (Available on Disney+)

Blackfly, dir. Christopher Hinton

Charlie the Unicorn: The Grand Finale, dir. Jason Steele

Free Apple, dir. Ian Worthington

Bigtop Burger Season 1, dir. Ian Worthington

There's a Man in the Woods, dir. Jacob Streilein

Llamas with Hats: The Series, dir. Jason Steele

Welcome to my Life, dir. Elizabeth Ito

Duck Amuck, dir. Chuck Jones

We Can't Live Without Cosmos, dir. Konstantin Bronzit

Geri's Game, dir. Jan Pinkava

Have to change the format cause tumblr has a limit to text in a single list

68. Snow-White, dir. Dave Fleischer

69. DAICON IV Opening Animation, dir. Hiroyuki Yamaga

70. Rooty Toot Toot, dir. John Hubley

71. SHOP: A Pop Opera, dir. Jack Stauber

72. Rabbit of Seville, dir. Chuck Jones

73. The Cat Concerto, dir. Joseph Barbera and William Hanna

74. My Little Goat, dir. Tomoki Misato

75. Asparagus, dir. Suzan Pitt (Available on the Criterion Channel)

76. Puparia, dir. Shingo Tamagawa

77. The Cybernetic Grandma, dir. Jiří Trnka

78. Captain Yajima, dir. Ian Worthington

79. Agoraphobia, dir. Victoria Vincent

80. Donald in Mathmagic Land, dir. Hamilton Luske, Wolfgang Reitherman, Les Clark and Joshua Meador

81. Joy Street, dir. Suzan Pitt (Available on the Criterion Channel)

82. The Old Man and The Sea, dir. Aleksandr Petrov

83. The Dream of a Ridiculous Man, dir. Aleksandr Petrov

84. Vincent, dir. Tim Burton

85. World of Tomorrow, dir. Don Hertzfeldt

86. World of Tomorrow Episode 2: The Burden of Other People's Thoughts, dir. Don Hertzfeldt (pay per view of Vimeo)

87. The Magic Portal, dir. Lindsay Fleay

88. The Golden Chain, dir. Adebukola Bodunrin and Ezra Claytan Daniels (available on the Criterion Channel)

89. Black Soul, dir. Martine Chartrand

90. Hedgehog in the Fog, dir. Yuri Norstein

91. Dreams of the Rarebit Fiend: The Flying House, dir. Windsor McCay

92. Around is Around, dir. Evelyn Lambart and Norman McLaren

93. Popeye the Sailor Meets Sinbad the Sailor, dir. Dave Fleischer

94. Historia Naturae (Suita), dir. Jan Svankmajer

95. Still Lost I Guess, Here's a Tunnel, dir. Dario Alva

96. Kapaemahu, dir. Joe Wilson, Dean Hamer and Hinaleimoana Wong-Kalu

97. Long-Haired Hare, dir. Chuck Jones

98. Muto, dir. Blu

99. Windy Day, dir. John and Faith Hubley

100. Bully for Bugs, dir. Chuck Jones

101. The Haunted Hotel, dir. J. Stuart Blackton

102. Destino, dir. Dominique Monfery (Available on Disney+)

103. Fantasy, dir. Vince Collins

104. To Beep or Not To Beep, dir. Chuck Jones

105. Pixillation, dir. Lillian Schwartz

106. Goodbye Jerome!, dir. Chloé Farr, Gabrielle Selnet and Adam Sillard (Available on the Criterion Channel)

107. Betty Boop's Halloween Party, dir. Dave Fleischer

108. Jumping, dir. Osamu Tezuka

109. Baby Fingers, dir. Adrian Dalen

110. On Your Mark, dir. Hayao Miyazaki