#roasting characters
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ovegakart Ā· 5 months ago
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NONE OF THESE MFS CAN DRIVE
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egophiliac Ā· 1 year ago
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C'MON TO THE THEATER!
I love these guys so much. forget NRC, I want to attend their terrible disaster school for disaster children that might actually be plastered on top of the smoking remains of an actively sinking ship. I may or may not actually learn anything, but I will have the time of my life.
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sleep-0-deprived Ā· 29 days ago
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Threesome with male reader being spitroasted
Just some Halloween spit roasting thoughts with ghost and Kƶnig~! ą«®ź’°āøāø> Ģ« <āøāøź’±įƒ
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WC:. 1.1k
This is just a short little rant and I couldnā€™t think of any better characters than these giants! @lazyenthusiastbear-blog <33
Thinking bout a small Halloween party at the base, just a few task force members nothing big but soon you find yourself sitting between The ghost and Kƶnig whilst wearing some slutty vampire costume oh grabbed last minute from the nearest Halloween store, your chest practically exposed with you having in a pair of cheap fangs looking back between the two men seeing them both rock hard in their cargo pants letting you know just what they wanted.
You donā€™t even have time to get those plastic fangs out of your mouth before you have ghost in front of you jumping his crotch to your jaw while Kƶnig works you from the back by slipping down your costume pants leaving your ass exposed to the both of them, Kƶnig just anxiously grabbing your ass cheeks and pinching them extra tight before giving little smacks, not using hardly any force out of fear of not wanting to hurt you.
Ghost just pulling out his cock slapping you against your cheek almost egging you on while muttering words like ā€œcome on take what I give you [name]ā€ while pushing his fat tip to your lip and making you make out with it before he pushes it inside your mouth, ghost will have you in the menā€™s dorms making you beg to suck him off while Kƶnig rubs you soothingly from behind before prepping you up enough to get himself buried inside your rim, Kƶnig being the gentle giant he is whispers out in a whiny tone ā€œcan I please enter you?~ā€
Kƶnig fucking you like a bear laying on your back squishing you to the crappy bunk beneath making you gag and choke on Simon the whole time, swallowing down the salty pre come that Simon gave you while your stomach bulges and bloats from the little bulge Kƶnig gives you making you feel like youā€™re being torn apart and impaled, rolling your eyes back with your fangs grazing ghosts cock. Making a slick mess of your face ruining your makeup and getting fake blood from your lips all over Simonā€™s cock but he couldnā€™t care less.
Kƶnig holding your hips pulling you backwards instead of thrusting into you he lazily pulls you back and forth onto his cock with the occasional rock of his hips moaning on and on to ghost ā€œes geht ihm so gutā€ in his native tongue, spitting words incoherently all drunk off the way your rim puckers around him and milks out load after load leaving come oozing down your thighs onto the army green sheets trying to shut you up so none of the other task force members walk in, specially not price.
Ghost holding your chin up looking down through his skull mask watching the copious amounts of spit coming from your ruined mouth, watching how you scrunch your nose up nice and tight when his seed shoots across your face sticking to your lashes while you hold your mouth open getting a generous amount on your tongue and fangs, not even bothering complaining about the lieutenant ruining your makeup, how could you when youā€™re too focused on Kƶnig railing and plowing you from behind while one large hand holds your balls and palms them the whole time rearranging your guts.
Kƶnig swapping places with ghost having you on your back with your throat bulging from the outline of the German manā€™s cock, your cheeks full like a chipmunk while ghost pulverizes your already gaping hole, Kƶnig being gentle with your face barely rocking his hips back and forth while ghost lets out silent grunts like a animal in heat. Both their masks still on using you like their own boy-toy while ghost looks down whispering hazy degrading comments ā€œone cock ainā€™t enough for you is it? What a Greedy little fucking boy we have here donā€™t we Kƶnigā€
ghost holding your hips half off the bunk angle ohh your hips upwards while he fucks you making sure every spot inside your ass gets assaulted by his cock, making you listen to how you squelch from the other manā€™s come, making sure you feel every little groove and ridge in his dick when he pulls out slowly and slams back inside you holding you on your back with your knees to your chest in a mating press nearly in salty tears when Kƶnig finishes in your mouth making you gulp down the hot liquid while looking upwards at Kƶnig, watching his eyes while he groans and ruffles your hair saying ā€œthatā€™s it, my Babyjunge is doing so goodā€
Their stamina seemingly endless when they rotate over and over at one point having both cocks nudging your mouth and tearing the corners of your mouth to fit their tips while you lay in your back dazed out weakly using one hand on each of their cocks jerking at their bases til Ghost comes first shooting all over your muscular chest getting on the V neck snapped opening of your vampire costume while Kƶnig contributes to the sticky mess on your face only coating and caking the cum up more Turing you into a come dump for them.
By the end of the night you end up on your back with the whole bunk bed frame creaking about to crack and bend under the weight of the muscular men, your hole stuffed and gaping wide being double penetrated with your fangs covered in semen and spit laying on the bed next to you with Kƶnig holding one thigh to the bed and Simon holding the other leaving your cock untouched while they fuck you. Using Kƶnigā€™s past loads as lube for ghost to slide inside you and keep going making you a blubbering mess unable to form coherent sentences, just the occasional ā€œm-ore~ā€
your whole body on fire and spasming and trembling coated in more loads than youā€™ve released, your cock soft and red like a fire hydrant with your balls having no more come to give, every orgasm pulled from you by now Iā€™d dry and painful leaving you a shaking mess gripping the handles of the bed post, once finished with you they have you sandwiched between the two of them during the night after sneaking your wrecked body back into Simonā€™s private quarters, oh the wreck youā€™ll be in the next morning will be a site for them to enjoy.
When you do finally wake up you feel a burn between your cheeks and a sore throat, your mouth hurting from being torn leaving your lips cracked and your thighs dried stuck together from all the crusted come, and on top of all that you feel Kƶnigā€™s cock hard again pressing to your thigh with ghost having morning wood behind you leaving you already knowing they were going again with you before you even made it to training.
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th3ink Ā· 6 months ago
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Sometimes.
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The only thing I want
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It's someone who can't escape.
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le-trash-prince Ā· 1 month ago
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The thing is, I do have negative thoughts and criticisms of the things that I watch or read, but I donā€™t often feel compelled to share them, and I donā€™t think this makes me intellectually inferior or vapid.
I think itā€™s quite easy, in fact, to recognize the flaws in a piece of media. And I donā€™t owe it to the public or to strangers to make sure that they know that I know that something that happened in a show was poorly executed or that an actor had weak delivery.
If I really feel like talking about something I disliked, then I will, but ā€œitā€™s important to be critical of the media we consumeā€ doesnā€™t mean I have to do so in a public forum, and I donā€™t get why some people act like doing so makes them smarter than the rest of fandom. Frankly, I think what bothers me more than the negativity is the pretentiousness around it.
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magical-girl-coral Ā· 2 months ago
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"Yeah, you can't just send your grandma out to fight for you, that's strange"
Oisin found dead at Krom's Diner. More at eleven.
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arttsuka Ā· 3 months ago
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Based on somewhat real events
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I spent way too much time drawing this...
But yeah, Ford finally saying thank you
A continuation (kinda)
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eternalnat Ā· 4 months ago
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I rarely make tumblr posts, but I am so infuriated by this situation I need to say something about it.
Five Hargreeves, who spent 45 years alone in a post-apocalyptic world, and every single moment of his life since was spent trying to get back to his family. The Five who ran himself dry for 2 weeks straight trying to stop the end of the world, and reunite his family. The Five who slaughtered an entire board of directors just to ensure him family's safety. Who turned back time himself, while bleeding out on the floor, just to save his siblings. You're telling me, that the Five whose entire motivation for living was once saving his family, is the same Five, who in s4 has entirely given up, and in the Subway is the one trying to convince Lila to stop looking after 6 and a half years? The Five who never once stopped trying to return to his family in all 45 years of surviving alone, decides to settle down in a greenhouse and live out a cottagecore life?
Furthermore, the same Five who told Lila that Diego loved her, who reassured his brother that his wife wasn't cheating on him and loved him dearly, the same Five who got on with Lila only due to the fact that they both cared for and loved Diego, the person they had in common, is the same Five who stole his brother's wife, whom he had three children with, just because the writers were excited that Aidan Gallagher was finally legal?
Five who hated authority, who despised when people gave him commands, who wanted nothing more than to retire in s3, is now working for the CIA and willingly calling his boss, 'sir'?
Five who used to be so paranoid and suspicious of everyone and everything, who used to solve problems alone and came to epiphanies that saved the world, who didn't even trust a past version of himself, also didn't realise that his boss of many years had an umbrella tattooed on his wrist?
Everything that once stood out about his character is now gone, as if the writers themselves entirely forgot about his existence until the last moment, and added him in as an afterthought, without thinking of the effect he would have on the story.
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kerryweaverlesbian Ā· 4 months ago
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Ik we love female friendships but I think that Jo (resurrected but aged up with them) and Charlie (still alive) meeting as Dean's Best Girl Friend would be rough to begin with. Because this would be funny to me. They don't have a whole lot in common other than being Girl - Jo never displayed any interest in fiction from what I recall and that's 90% of Charlie's interests. Charlie defaults to placating and Jo defaults to caustic AND would read Charlie's placating moves as using her girliness against her. Both of them are territorial and jealous over Dean's affection and (more importantly) over ELLEN'S affection (she's back too dw about it). Charlie is desperate for a mother figure and Jo sees Charlie as trying to replace her especially when Ellen is nice to Charlie where she's nitpicky to Jo. Charlie views Jo's skillset as more inherently valuable to the team and initially assumes that Jo is less good at research skills than her because she's good at physical stuff (to protect her own ego) (Charlie is insecure about her position on the team). Obviously the sexual tension.
They would eventually work through it and become close friends and perhaps friends with benefits but isn't it fun and character building to introduce some conflict before they get there !
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navree Ā· 6 months ago
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"rhaenys could have ended the war by dracarysing all the greens right there" yes because a distant relation to the throne deciding to barbecue an anointed and publicly positively hailed king and his entire family who is well loved within the city and in multiple other parts of the country for the sake of the succession of a far-away princess no one was ever on board with who hasn't been seen by the populace in literal years, her psycho husband, her three obvious bastards, and two toddlers from the psycho husband would go over super well with westeros and especially in king's landing where scores of the still-cheering population were killed for no reason by that same dragon who would do the barbecuing, because when targaryens act unilaterally without thinking of how the people would react there's never any problem, which is why the storming of the dragonpit and robert's rebellion were actually just collective delusions dreamed up by readers who hate rhaenyra and not key parts of the story and house targaryen's history that directly contributed to their demise and are intrinsic to the plot
truly team black stans are made up of only the most genius and media literate amongst us
#personal#house of the dragon#anti team black#i mean i guess??#like the crowd was cheering for aegon HARD#and they were always on board with aegon#and the hightowers are a powerful house with a lot of allies#and alicent and helaena specifically were well loved by the people in king's landing and the realm at large#and none of them ever liked rhaenyra or daemon who again have been MIA for basically a decade already#and again targaryens overreaching their power and not taking the people into account#is the reason why their house fell into oblivion and now rests entirely on a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL WHO IS THE ONLY ONE LEFT#if she roasted the dais the mob wouldn't have even let her leave they'd have killed her and meleys both in a heartbeat#storming of the dragonpit but a couple months earlier#the thing to remember is that i think a lot of team black stans are just kinda stupid#and do not care about the story at all or the actual intricacies of the world and its politics that is so important to the dance#(remember the rumors of rhaenyra mistreating helaena and alicent literally led to rhaenyra's death)#(because it led to the mobs and the storming of the dragonpit and the death of joffrey and her being driven out)#(and thus having to go to dragonstone where sunfyre got a little meal out of the whole debacle good for him)#(along with all of her ten million other shitty political decisions)#how do you profess to be pro-targaryen without even knowing targaryen history and where they erred and how that ended them#like *i* like the targaryens you guys have heard me talk about the conquerors all the livelong day#but i am also smart and i understand the world george created and the concept of repercussions#anyway yeah i am Annoyed at that new daemon clip (wow what a shock something annoyed me and had daemon in it)#(my least favorite character who could have foreseen this)
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halcyon-autumn Ā· 1 year ago
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Wheel of Time Characters and the Cars They'd Drive
Written by someone who knows extremely little about cars
Rand: The poor boy buys like a standard issue sedan and then a bunch of weirdos start following him around and telling him that the car is "special." Moiraine spray paints dragon decals on his car one night while he's sleeping. People keep trying to slash his tires but he always catches them just in time. You know how it goes
Perrin: Pickup truck with normal sized wheels. Great for helping people move! Also great for running people over. Duality of man etc etc. There's always a dog in the back sticking its head out the window, but Perrin does not know this dog or where it came from
Nynaeve: She buys a used car that looks like it's falling apart and everyone tells her that she overpaid. Four months in, they realize that the last owner did a bunch of Fast and Furious style modifications and Nynaeve could probably outrace God
Mat: Bike. This SHOULD NOT WORK but somehow he's still on time to everything. This baffles everyone, including him
Egwene: Something VERY practical with great gas mileage, like a honda civic. That's the only practical car I know because it's what my dad told me to buy.
Elayne: Lexus. Mat makes fun of her for driving a luxury car and she's like "????? it's not like it's a Cadillac?"
Liandrin: A Cadillac
Moiraine: A jeep, but the nicest most upgraded version. Unless there's a car that's better for off-roading, in which case she drives that instead
Lan: A cool classic car. A car that can drift (maybe all cars can drift but Lan's definitely can). He thinks that Nynaeve's car is The Coolest for some reason
Lanfear: A horse! Just kidding. She drives a silver range rover because an article I googled said that range rovers are the king of the road.
Bonus:
Asmodean: the car type Does Not Matter all that matters is that he has a vanity license plate
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pinazee Ā· 5 months ago
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Heres a poll cause why not
*edit* ignore the title, im clearly not well versed on fandom words lol i simply meant ā€”>
Favorite hatchetfield not canon ship
I didnt include ted/ tinky or paul/pokey just cause it seems one sided?? Idk whats going on there tbh
Nor did i include pete/richie because i already included michie and flipschitz and of the three it looked like that was the least popular
Also i think wilbur/mcnamara are technically sort of implied canon? So thats why its not listed either
Gary/linda wasnā€™t included because ive only ever seen ppl talk about it as a ā€œgary is the father of one of her kidsā€ theory and not really as a romance (though the speed with which he was ready to worship her should not be overlooked šŸ˜)
Theres a lot of random pairing yaā€™ll i tried.
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alicornze7 Ā· 9 months ago
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ā€œIā€™m not projectingā€
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darkrooklobby Ā· 3 months ago
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šŸ¦œApollo Justice trilogy (the rant/analysis)šŸŽµāœØ
Welcome! Allow me to specify what this rant is about:
The game, Apollo Justice (2007 - 2008)
The characters (Apollo, Phoenix, and the Gavin brothers)
The wasted potential (i.e. the other games) (I'm most familiar with AA1-4 the others i've briefly looked at)
Just angry thoughts at 3am
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[āš ļøSPOILERS FOR APOLLO JUSTICE + TRILOGY!āš ļø]
[also the āšŖbulleted pointsāšŖ are facts, the rest is my subjective yapping]
Before I begin my rant, here's some basic information about the game's development:
It's the last game directed by Shu Takumi. The rest of the trilogy is directed by his assistant (Takeshi Yamazaki) meanwhile Shu was busy with the Professor Layton crossover + The great ace attorney.
Capcom literally demanded to insert Phoenix into the game. Shu was against putting Phoenix in, feeling that his story has already come to a natural conclusion, stating, "I felt that Phoenix's story had been told, and that the series should not continue. Knowing when to end a story is very important and I wanted to avoid dragging it out and having it become a shadow of its former self." (Takumi)
In the end, Shu was forced to put Phoenix in, and we got hobo Phoenix, or as I like to call him, Beanix.
Okay so, a brief pause. From what we already know, there is a conflict of interests during development. We have a small group of artists that did a small project called āœØAce AttorneyāœØ and then the corporate realized they're sitting on a goldmine. Capcom did not want their mascot, their cash cow, Phoenix Wright, to go just yet. Shu (who wanted a fresh start, and creative freedom) was torn, his team was torn between letting Phoenix go and bringing him in, and you notice that in the game as it goes back and forth. It goes between Phoenix being a main character, interfering, or disappearing for long periods of time. It was on and off, just like their arguments - corporate vs. creative freedom, old vs. the new.
It creates an... odd atmosphere throughout the game. This indecision and forcefulness. Opinions vary šŸ™ƒ
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The corporate unfortunately won. We had Phenix back, not in his former glory, but as a character. (Result? Apollo feels less like a protagonist, suffering, feeling irrelevant in his own game. Not always, of course! But most of the time...)
Facts continue! Apollo Justice (AA4) is the last game with 2D sprites, with some rare 3D elements. (Like Cheeto KlavieršŸ§”)
btw, here's some name puns and meanings:
Apollo is literally named after the god of truth.
"Klavier" means "Piano" in German šŸŽ¹ - his Japanese name, Kyoya, means, "to echo/resound".
Kristoph's Japanese name, Kirihito (霧äŗŗ), when reversed (äŗŗꖬ悊 - hitokiri) literally translates to "the killer".
Trucy's name pun, Trucy Wright, is supposed to sound like "see-through" (tru-through cy-see)
Lamiror = mirror, Wocky Kitaki = Walkie-Talkie, Drew Misham = Draw-me-a-sham, etc.
Okay, so. About the 1ļøāƒ£first case1ļøāƒ£: It's a widely accepted opinion that the first trial is the best one, and it's hard to disagree. It's a completely new thing (almost as if Shu was planning on starting an entirely new trilogy without Phenix Wright! Can you imagine?!--) and because the first trial is so good, with a great twist and a fun conclusion, other trials pale in comparison. Let's see, we have a new quirky protagonist (he's fine) a gentleman for a mentor (a character with depth, as we will come to know) a fallen attorney with shady history (Mr. Phenix Wright) along a complex, yet understandable, mystery. What is lovely about the first case is that it makes you think just enough, the trial flows nicely for the sub-plot to come out, and the twist is perfect.
Of course, I imagine that Japanese players might have seen the twist coming a bit earlier, looking at Kristoph's name-pun, but all-in-all it's a great start! The question is - is it a great start for the new franchise that Shu wanted to make? Is it a great start for Apollo as an attorney and as a character? ...Or, is it a great start, for the old greedy company to push good old Phoenix back into spotlight and collect more money? šŸ¤”šŸ¤”šŸ¤”
Here's some facts about the direction the game hoped to take:
The game delved into darker themes on purpose, like a "grown up" version of Ace attorney for the next generation. It was hoping to shift the tone from the previous three games more towards realism. (AA1 was a bit comedic, we cross-examined a parrot, the crimes were less complex compared to AA3. With AA4, the idea was to make AA3 but better.) It tried to set Apollo as a more independent lawyer, trusting no one, without any mentor (like Mia in previous games) coming back every other case.
With the first case, Apollo becomes independent in a sense, but... well.
Apollo basically third-wheeled in Phoenix/Kristoph divorce. That's basically what happened in that trial. Somehow, we managed to shift all the attention from Apollo's character growth into these two men. Apollo's independent now because he got left alone in the trash while the AA team tries to figure out what the fuck to do with Phoenix and how to shove the whole thing together.
The entire game was made with the idea of change, a fresh start & fresh blood in mind! We don't get much character growth from the main characters AT ALL because, at some point in development, there was a decision made: They thought they will make a sequel. AA games so far relied on story continuity, chronological events, time passing, characters evolving, events making an impact on the characters, etc.
Apollo Justice, a beginning game of a trilogy, was written specifically in a way to have a sequel. There were things left unanswered for a reason. They took things slow, and the idea of the sequel was planned to go more into the Gramarye troupe, Gavin brothers, and Apollo's family. (Shu even had an entire backstory written for the Gavin brothers, but it was scrapped by the new team) (I'll get into it later.) This was also the reason why the game had potential, but never went all the way. The plot was more complex, and was made specifically with a direct continuation in mind, which never came to pass. We instead got... an entire rework. (again, i'll get into it later šŸ˜‚)
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Some art facts, since i'm an artist: They were thinking over a few variants of the character designs before they settled on the current ones. They wanted to have a protagonist more energetic than Phoenix, more blunt, an idealist, less bluffing, like a new generation kid kinda-thing. Apollo has distinct spiky hair, is different, is less tall, has a wide forehead... did you know, the design team had a few designs with different forehead wide-nesses? Wild. Apollo's color scheme is Godot's inverted, and as far away from Phoenix's dark blue design as possible (gee I wonder why...)
(Also, the Gavin brothers originally had two mirrored pointy hair-swirls, resembling pharaoh head covers, and I think that's dope as hell)
Either way, you must admit that the designs for this game are more detailed, colorful, animated, and beautiful. Honestly!!! šŸ’– The art direction did splendidly, and I'm glad at least that aspect wasn't affected by the disagreements of the company vs. writers :)
Fun fact: The game sold well, actually. Back in the day, people were into original ideas, instead of everything getting a live-action remake nobody asked for, an animated reimagining, and an unnecessary second part. (...Can you tell I'm dissing Disney? You can.)
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Now that I'm at a point where I can speak of continuations, let's see what happened: The game released as is. It had a story, sometimes a bit awkward because of the team vs. company disagreements being physically felt through the script. People bought it and the fandom was immediately split down the middle into various factions. (Again, I was young, but this point of contention is strong even today.)
People who liked the new ideas, characters, and plot, and liked Phoenix Wright being there.
People who liked the new ideas, characters, and plot, but disliked Phoenix Wright's presence. (my stance right now)
People who disliked the new things because they wanted the same old Phoenix Wright games. They wanted everything that has already concluded, to continue. (my stance 6 years ago - Since it wasn't believable that a guy like Phoenix Wright, with so many friends, would end up like this. It was so unrealistic to me, so odd, that I refused to see this game as canonical. Literal denial šŸ„²šŸ„²šŸ„²)
People who disliked the game despite being ready for new content, just because.
Next up, 7 YEARS PASS.
Yup. The disagreement, the dissatisfaction from the creators vs. company, split fan reactions, despite a fine profit, caused a change of direction, and a rift. Characters and story-lines forgotten. Literally.
The next entries after Apollo Justice don't mention the events of it -because of a company-enforced "no spoiler/connection" restrictions. Capcom created the restriction to appeal to new fans, while not spoiling previous games so they might be compelled to play them. (Again, corporate wins overā€¦ continuity, this time.) - Which means the bare minimum of character growth and history we could have seen IS NOW GONE and will never be brought into relevancy again. (unless I missed something from the 3D games, in which case let me know.)
And we get a complete overhaul, while going back to the classic AA, but this time we get a new cast to focus on and begin again and we pretend Apollo Justice doesn't exist! (Rant number 4, here we go šŸ„“)
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My main rant so far would be about wasted potential and creative differences. Yes, they weren't strong enough to do a clean break from the past (Capcom forcing Phoenix back, not letting him "die" even though his story concluded) Yes, there's wasted potential because character growth of the protagonist is stunted by greed and confusion (Capcom demands? Fine. Phoenix must be here to appeal to all fans, for all the money. Ok. Cool. We can't be creative anymore and original ideas are shunned! 2008? Bah, nothing has changed in 2024!) and yes, the game's story suffers because of this, despite being very pleasing to look at (the sprites & animations don't hit quite the same anymore.)
I'm not even gonna go into how Apollo was forgotten and suddenly he has four backstories because he failed to establish himself solid in his introductory game without a planned sequel, and Capcom was like "Oh shit this guy exists, um, what do we do" - while also refusing to address and build upon plot points existing in the main game: Apollo had history in court. He had a character building event of incarcerating his mentor. Apollo already had family, which hasn't told him anything yet. He had Trucy. He had a courtroom rival, which he promised to rid of darkness. He gained a new mentor, a shady one, who he punched to the face! He saw the dark side of the law. He saw the "dark age of the law". He saw a better way to do things and fix the system with a jury, which was used once and forgotten about. He had a goal. He had potential... - but then he has been rebuilt and redesigned four times, given things he already had and replaced them and Capcom pulled a nonexistent best friend out of their ass out of nowhere just to give Apollo fake-depth and use (i had to look him up) CLAY TERRAN as A ONE-OFF PLOT POINT and I HATE BAD WRITING LIKE THAT, MAKING A CHARACTER that's just there for that one purpose and---šŸ¤¬
I'm also not gonna go into the fact that a case-specific NPC gets more character growth than the main cast.
And I also won't rant about the 3D continuations of AA. All I'm gonna say is that, they shouldn't be under a name "Apollo Justice Trilogy" because, what the fuck happened to that guy. Who is he even? What? What game are you basing this on? Who?
The game was like a failed start to do something new... and not achieving it, stopping short of crossing the final line bravely.
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This was 3 am. yapping, I hope to inspire discussion, roast my opinions I love to argue over nerdy shit šŸ’–šŸ„°šŸ’–
(sources: Ace Attorney Wiki, VGfacts, NezumiVA, AA_Facts on Twitter)
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chronicbeans Ā· 11 months ago
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My Favorite Quotes of my Mom Roasting my Fictional Crushes
Stanford Pines: "He looks like he could be the ex-husband of one of the Golden Girls."
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Bill Cipher: "HE'S LITERALLY A TORTILLA CHIP."
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Simon Petrikov: "You're standards are low if you're looking for someone as mentally ill as you."
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Maison Talo: "How did you find someone who is some literally a house, a plant, and an old guy at the same time?"
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nomorefstogive Ā· 7 months ago
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Here is another idea. Imagine if we could get to roast the archons. Like a once in a lifetime event, The archon's roast. We get each archon on a panel and we get someone close to them. Even the archons get to roast each other.
Oh hell this is beautiful, I can already picture this happening, maybe courtesy of the Traveler or someone else having pulled them all into the Serenetea pot, one thing leads to another over drinks and soon the roasts start to fly.
From everyone ganging up on Venti about his drinking habits, to them turning on Zhongli over his inability to manage his own finances, to Ei's inability to handle change, to Nahida being too gentle with her people, to Furina's penchant for treating everything like a performance.
Eventually it all just devolves into a constant back and forth that has been spear headed by the likes of Dvalin (Best I could think of for Venti outside of Diluc or Barbara), Xianyun, Miko, Alhaithem or Nihlou, and Clorinde or Neuvilette.
And as this chaos is going on, the Traveler is leaning back in their chair, their face in their hands as they try and suppress a mixture of humor and embarrassment at the scene before them.
What would make it more chaotic is if it occurred during a celebration that includes more than just the aforementioned individuals, with the majority of the Traveler's comrades all being present, each one chiming in their own complaints and roasts, with the Archons retaliating in kind.
"I may be drunk, but at least I don't work till I collapse and have to be dragged away."
"I readily admit that I have issues with my own finances, but at least I am not constantly lying to my family regarding my profession."
"Change is not something that comes naturally to me, I admit. But at least I don't shed fur everywhere when the season changes, or worship a long dead God."
"Gentle I may be, but at least I can express myself openly, and not loose myself to my work. I also don't have a complex regarding my creator, nor have I attempted to be what I am not."
"Oh. You really want to go there? Well at least I didn't kill my friends father in front of her, or loose control over my own element and have to rely on a mere 'usurper' to get it back."
More and more the situation devolves as chaos reigns amidst the roasts and yells, all while Paimon joins the Traveler in hiding her face in her hands.
In a sagau setting, this could occur as a result of a combination of everyone being a little tipsy and a careless word, with the reader simply watching as the chaos breaks out around them, not needing to say a word as all hell breaks loose around them.
At least that is what comes to my mind at the moment, sorry if it is not what you had in mind.
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