#roach tok

[shit-talker]

Roach makes a tiktok rating the signatures the 141 use on their emails;

"Regarding question, please refrain, Lt Riley"

Roach : Very in character for the big man, unfortunately it was in regards to a question of requesting leave so. 4/10.

"Your brother in Christ, Sg Garrick"

Roach : Wonderful form. Made me laugh. Solid score. 7/10

"Stay positive and test negative guys, Sg McTavish"

Roach : Covid jokes are always funny, but he's made this one several times now, and I'm bored of it. 3/10 for fuckery.

"Don't fuck this up you little enabling shits, Cpt Price"

Roach : Hilarious. Our group chat is now titled "little enabling shits" not very professional from the captain. Still 9/10.

"We will discuss more later, SC Laswell."

Roach : Terrifying. Actually, bone chilling. Scared all of us so much. 10/10 for pure fear.

"Eat my ass, Sg Riley xx."

Roach : This one's super old now, but I love it, so it's staying here. 11/10. Gods speed, Si.

[enarien]

1 day in the CoD fandom: Ghost is so hot!!!

1 week in the CoD fandom: ok but look at all the other hotties !♥!!

1 month in the CoD fandom, deranged and sleep deprived, the shadow figures are real: couple of faves isn't enough. i need a whole ass harem

[fashionkilladaya]

Law on the meaning behind Zendaya’s 2019 Met Gala look ✨

[wjehfshs]

Reader who is very sweet and kind, his vibe is " :D ", he is so happy that everyone likes him even valeria, secretly gets special treatment from everyone but doesnt realize it. Also goes along with anything, you just casual lift him up and take him away when he was having a conversation? Ok! Plans change at the last second? Sure, doesnt bother him. Bakes and crochets during his free time and gives the things he created to the people in base. Loved by everyone, everyone also loves him. (Baby of the group, and babied by the group)

Thank you for reading this, take your time, rest if you need to♡

Omg just :D reader

Hyper happy reader, a lot of COD MW/MW2 characters and COD Ghosts characters are in this don’t ask why, even Valeria likes reader, oblivious reader, fluff, platonic, male reader, readers babied and compared to a fairy at some point

On the field you where like any other soldier

But off the field you where the definition of confetti as a person

Everyone just felt this need to protect you

They knew you could take care of yourself but they couldn’t help it

Valeria and Alejandro would regularly argue over who got to pamper you that day

“Ah [name]! I was wondering if you wanted me to run you a bath?”

“Don’t listen to him he would do it right, it would be gross and cold. Let me do it for you!”

For the next 15 minutes they argued in Spanish over who got to run the bath for you

God even Graves loved you

You where the only one who was allowed to cuddle with Ghost and play with his hair

König would let you climb him (maybe or maybe not inspired by another one of my fics lmao)

The thing is you didn’t even realise how much everyone loved you

You knew they loved you, and you loved them but you never knew the extent of it

Normally people would just sit wherever they could during their meals but you had a saved seat

“Leave room for [names] seat”

“Is that seat taken?” “Yeah [name] is sitting there” “what? But he’s in the shooting range?” “[name]. Sits. There”

Keegan would let you use him for piggy back rides

If you wanted you could bother Price all day in his office and he would be more than happy to let you ramble on

Hesh would let you paint different patterns on his face each time he had to go out on a mission

Stars, hearts, stripes, dots, whatever he didn’t care if you pained it on he was wearing it

If someone was mean to you Roach would sign to them, chewing them out for being rude to you, his hands where going so fast you couldn’t even read them

You and Soap where a chaotic duo

Screaming, running around, laughing, and doing stupid shit

Once you where talking to König in a crowded situation, he was starting to get stressed out so he just picked you up, threw you over his shoulder, and walked off with you

You didn’t even stop talking, it was like you didn’t even notice you where now basically 7 ft in the air on a man’s shoulders

Gaz would send you a stupid amount of Tik Toks daily, you would always watch them and get excited

Once for Christmas you went out of your way to knit scarfs for everyone. Like quite literally EVERYONE. You explained you spent the past year on this project

Some of them started crying with how sweet you where

On multiple occasions you would just be in a chair knitting something random

You also crochet most of your own accessories and clothes

“Ah this is so pretty [name]!” Farah told you, feeling the fabric of your crocheted beanie “May I please have one? I’d love to match with you!” She asked

You happily agreed, ecstatic to start the new project

You skipped away to grab your materials happily

You also loved to bake things for people

When it was Soaps birthday you made a cake for him, decorated with sugar flowers and leaves

It was so cute

Everyone was hesitant to eat it because they didn’t want to ruin it

They opted for all taking like 50+ photos each

You where literally a fairy in their eyes

[captain-mj]

Hi just came from the clock app could I please request a kelpie soap ghost ficlet/HC’s, maybe even a creature 141 and friends (the concept is popular so if you don’t feel comfortable doing it fine). I also saw on tic tok you got a book of folklore for Christmas what creatures do you think everyone is from it?

I really love folk lore

I hope you all had a great holiday season!

So you see... Morally I cannot do anything romantic with Kelpies. I also have done a few creature things before. However, I can do a creature match up! There's tons of creatures in the book that, while not human, they would make cool ass companions/pets

Also you may be interested in my Vampire au or the Creature Fic I did!

What creatures I think they'd have as a companion

Soap: Will-O'-The-Wisp

Ghost: Hippogriff

Roach: Kitsune

Gaz: Bake-Danuki

Alex: Mishepishu

Alejandro: Alicanto

Rodolfo: Chickcharney

Price: Ceryneian Deer

Graves: Wampus Cat

Laswell: Griffin

Farah: Phoenix

Chuy: Thunderbird (Hoop snake was a close second)

Reyes: Cockatrice

Valeria: Feathered serpent

[meowmeowriley]

Hi costume anon here!

*ahem* OMFG HOLY SHIT WTF AHDGDKFICG

Your writing was so good!!! I’m crying BLUE BEATLE ROACH!!!!!!! SOAP MAKING THE COSTUMES!!!! POOR GHOST RIP GAZ!!!!! I loved the entire thing poor price has no idea what’s going on but he’s there for his kids (I just looked up dum dum holy shit 😂 that’s spot on) Andy is a little shit and must be protected at all costs! YOU GABE ME A CAMEO I’m gonna faint right after I finish crying over how cute this all was. And holy shit the ART Tactax-art continues to hit it out the convention hall you guys are so fucking talented!! oh no now they know they like each other whatever shall they do?!?!! (Well at least ghost knows) can you imagine if there actually was an incident at one of the cons they went to? shit would be sorted before any of the other guests noticed anything went awry, free security lol. The headaches Laswell must get making sure Andy’s tick tok is clean and he doesn’t accidentally post anything incriminating she deserves a medal (and a pay rise)

Thank you so much for writing this amazing piece incase you couldn’t tell I fucking loved it and it’s made my day!!!! I hope you have just as an amazing start to yours as well and it keeps getting better from there!

Y'know, when I said I'd get the answer to this ask out in a few minutes, I actually meant a day. I guess. Whoops. Whatever, nobody has ever called me punctual in my life, why start now 😅 Anyhoooooo

🥺 Did you like your lil story Costume Anon? I wrote it for you ❤ Just a little thank you for interacting with and encouraging me. A lot of thanks has to go to @tactax-art for it's ideas and art. I would've been so lost without them.

I wasn't planning on writing more, but the idea of Price calling Laswell, "Kate, there's terrorists at the convention center. We need backup, we need weapons, now!" "John, theres no way I can't get anyone mobilized in time. Improvise. It's what you're good at." Well that's juicy... 😈 how would Andy fare, knowing his uncle just garotted a man in the bathroom with a shoelace? Or that his uncles future boyfriend disassembled his cosplay rifle and reassembled it into a working silenced pistol? Well I suppose I'll have to answer those questions.

For those of you who missed it, the post this was left about is this one here.

And the art of course, because I'm obsessed with it: Gaz, Soap, Ghost, and Roach cosplaying DC characters.

I hope you're still doing alright, Costume Anon. Until you next write me, my lovely friend and Non-gendered Prince ❤

[itsroachintime]

You guys know that one audio on tik tok that from Metalocalypse where their talking about their shit dads but Nathan is like “I fucking love my dad. My dad’s fucking awesome.”

That’s Roach and his dad.

[saleintothe90s]

244. The Big List of Favorite Commercials (part 17)

(part 16)

1985 Velveeta Extra Thick Slices "enough for the biggest cheese appetite" TV Commercial

This commercial is kinda sickening but I love that "extra thick" voice. That plastic cheese is too thick!

"Six Degrees of Separation" by John Guare at Lincoln Center Theater [1990]

"His shirt isn't bleeding! HE'S BLEEDING!"

Frankie and Johnny's Furniture: See the Special Man [1989?]

[grumbling] "Let her have it!"

Conan showed this old commercial from New Orleans on his show back in 2012.

Here is a news report on it.

Jane Lynch Roach Control Combat Commercial 1995

Doesn't this look like a parody of a Combat commercial, and not a real combat commercial? Reminds me a lil of that SNL sketch with the roach killer that teared off their legs and then used the legs to beat the roach to death. However, this time Jane is the host of the episode.

New Coke Commercial (1986)

Next time I go out this week (which let's face it will probably just be the Publix) I'm doing my makeup like this.

McDonald's Filet-O-Fish - Commercial Classic 1985

This Minnie the Moocher x Filet O Fish mashup is a JAM.

Kraft Singles Tennis Cards Promo - Australian Commercial

We love you and your giant packs of cheese, Pam.

Little Shop of Horrors broadway play commercial 1983

Now, I've never seen Little Shop, I've only seen the parody on Family Guy of "Somewhere That's Green", and I just read the plot on wikipedia and it sounds sad. BUT but, this commercial has Marlene Danielle from Cats, pre her being with Cats through its entire original Broadway run.

1986 Snuggles Poison Contol PSA

Never ever ever...touch, taste or drink...bottles and boxes under the sink? Such a clunky saying.

NBC Commercial - Thank You (1986)

I discovered this one from the Jaboody Show. Yes, they obsess over how bald Dennis Franz is, and how sexy John Larroquette is. This is a shorter version, I can't find the long one where Jane Pauley says "z'thank you".

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[wtflife01]

Law Roach is more famous than kelly yet he had to sit in the second row at the LV show, while Kelly got to sit at the front show. It’s no wonder why he wants to retire as a celebrity stylist. //

I have an explanation for this. I worked at the PFW and many other fashion students. The stands of each area are designated by relevance. Yes you have guests. But for example. Messi wife Antonella and Kelly were not next to the main VIP stand where you find Anna Wintour and Zendaya.

What happened to Roach and Zendaya. Is that they arrived late because of the traffic. And Zendaya found her spot but apparently someone took Roach Sit, Zendaya pointed at his (Roach) assistant Darrell sit. But Roach said I won’t take Darrell sit and he was looking around for someone from the organization to help but no one could be found. So he left. And later joined the after party. Fashion shows last like 10-20min so wasn’t a big wait.

This type of comments happen when people believe on crazy stuff on Twitter and tik tok.

What I’m telling is what Roach told himself about the incident. And wasn’t Zendaya or LV fault.

Stop spreading nonsense. No one gives a shit in fashion about Kelly. She got the invitation by two ways: she is a VIP client meaning she spent more than 40k last year (yes that get you a spot in the runways) or her agency got the invitation via contacts which is very normal. I was helping people on other show that I had no idea who they were I later found out they were wannabe it girls either very wealthy or with a good agency.

I think she got it through her agency contacts every time she does anything for lv she tags this guy who has in his bio “private clients relations manager”

I think law said how not only they were late they were used to things at Valentino where they had a different relationship and he and Zendaya where seated next to each other every time and with the stress of arriving late they didn’t even though about it and out of habit because he’s so used to Valentino way of doing things he went with her to her seat but apparently LV had assigned him a seat next to the other stylists, and he said there’s nothing wrong between him and LVMH and it was crazy how people were even saying Z wasn’t taking care of him right

[shit-talker]

Roach definitely has a tiktok where he literally just shitposts but it is super fucking popular for no reason. Because of the really spotty internet he has basically all of the time, he doesn't really interact with any of his fans, but there was once like five months where he didnt post and people started cancelling him for "propaganda".

It had all pretty much calmed down by the time he even realised it was happening, but in response he posted a video of Gaz and Soap, both high on pain meds laying in beds next to each other meowing at each other because they both think the other is a real cat (for some reason). He just slowly pans it to Ghost, who is sitting deadly still, eyes balnkly staring at a wall. He looks tormented. He switches the camera to his own face and pulls the polite-awkward-british-smile and just nods.

It's got clown music playing in the background, and the caption with absolutely no hashtags is just "Honestly thought my account was the definition of 'anti propoganda' but ok (i am in hell (please save me (this is a joke (for legal reasons (god bless the queen)))))

Almost every single comment is ; "It's a king now actually"

He then posts a video of him and the guys all saluting to a picture of Trisha Paytas. No caption at all. No hashtags.

[pissjesus]

That tik tok of that young man saying

“I got about 20 minutes before 40 millivanillygrams of this aderall kick in and lemme tell you I’m feeling pretty intelligent right now. Ask me any question in the comments I bet I can answer that shit licketySchPLITyurrr— 🦮 Milo get your ArrEhUrhheH back in the house BoY. *gasp* there’s a dead roach in the pool! 🫳🪳🤜 Poor chap never learned how to schwim diddee? *gasp* He’s wigglin! ~He’s still alive~ WHADDAproblemman. GffjsjdmfkfkfkflBeforREAAAAAL!”

Lives in my head rent free. You know?

[teehee-cat-weeb]

his arms are smelly

butt cheeks always sweaty

he'll fart if you tickle his belly

loud and deadly he's gangsta

brings his own food when he comes to the telly

he eats peanut butter sandwiches without the jelly

with no drink, the dry mouth

he wants to shout

he's straining on the toilet but the poop won't come out

it won't allow

it's staying in get out me now

a couple extra pushes and it's all over plow

then he felt the water splash him

bloop~

WTF DO WANT FROM ME??? 😭😭😭

Also I SWEAR I think I heard the last ask from a tik tok (I live with roaches bout 10 of them)

ARE YOU SENDING ME TIK TOK QUOTES??? WHAT???

Sorry if I am un-cultured

[inmemoryofvanity]

YOU CAN ONLY GET RID OF ROACHES WITH PIGS

My sister has always been a nuisance to me

She still continues to be even at her ripe age of to old for this shit.

Although entertaining a fun, her shenigans really piss me off. Her true colours always shine through and she's been given bly's all her life.

Maybe it's time that I don't.

I asked her not to have her boyfriend here, I do not like women beaters especially since he was or is beating on my sister. I dont care or even believe he's changed. He is pointless in her life, I literally see no upgrades but a rinky dinky ring he gives her then takes back as punishment if she doesn't act accordingly. I choose not to associate with trash... and if I think he's trash and she lays with him - then he is her equivalent.

She carries him around everywhere, and if people have objections she blatantly ignores them and imposes her trash onto others. It's wrong, and from now on I refuse to associate with her because she is an extension of him. She told me "Fuck your feelings" to reminds me that I do not own this home. So i told her if she makes me feel unsafe or uncomfortable I will be calling the police. The only thing their allergic to is police. Granted I dont like using that institution but it's the only thing that works.

She doesn't care about me

So let the authorities handle who belongs and who doesnt in this house.

She's currently out of work... she out of school... but shes going on a trip. like good fucking riddens, please go be marry in your delusion. Your mad I wont sip delusion piss with you. When she gets mad she says what she really feels.

This isnt my house

fuck my feelings

This is why i loose people in my life

Because...who the fuck knows she has no logical reasoning. She's listened to a bunch of trash on tik tok and insta and wants to regurgitate it because it makes her sound like she knows what shes talking about.

Now shes here, existing like a pussyhole.. downstairs. Both of us have been going back and forth via text. IF i face her downstairs I will want to box her down so to keep the peace and the spirit of my grandmother. I will stay up here with my door locked. She wants to knock me off my game.

I wont let her or anyone get me out of character again. Starting today Dec 20th I'm in control of me.

[myforrest2]

Comedy ideas

Slave robots

Price to let me fuck your wife

Dating dos and don’t and questions

Pro-nouns- trans

Crying over your favorite vagina

Women are expensive

Date when I have leverage

Tik tok physically abusive ps

black women giving u add

grieving and gettin pussy

nobody takes light skinned niggas seriously

i hate beige niggas with good hair

the short dude of the beiges

living a lie

gotta know how to fight

i'm over qualified to date

AA meeting

so much so i became a social worker

coworker said i dated white women

waist bead killa

ask your homegirl about the last nigga that scammed her

progressive women

Dating

1. the apps (virgos, spelman women, big titty taurus

2. vasectomy before it was fashionable

3. kids have and want more

4. meeting (questions)

5. aids commercials during hulu and chill

6. dog in bed

7. stress and ED

8. being 19 and 40

9. learned all the words women use capacity

10. i got a dick but i got feelings 2

11. munch love myself too much

12. divorce how they really feel

13. dv abd blueface show

14. quantum leap

how many dicks would u suck to get your student loans forgiven

my friends have kids and i dont have stufent loans . latest flex

off and on the apps

only reason im tryin to date again is cuz i heard my upstairs neighbor having sex

dr umar shaking head whenever i swipe right on a white girl

Apache open mic

2friday comedy at 9

tuesday at 8

wednesday 9

Dark Humor. Button up, Buttercup

Hershel Walker hit his wife using his hands.

Raphael Warnock hit his wife with the car and ran over her foot.

Raphael currently has a 48% to 45% lead amongst polled college students in Georgia.

This does not surprise me because today's young students do not support employment using their hands.

emotionally unavailable BW

to women with low self esteem

but too shallow

in 2023 i am giving up emotionally unavailable black women

Waffle house reality show

football now like watching condom sex

africa sex with condom

bag of vaginas to make life easier

interview grandmas that fucked wilt chamberlain

i dare you to ask your granny if she fucked wilt.

moving to ghana off 30k

chlamydia the bv of stds

fucked 3 in one day

them/they pussy

trans vs cis

price of pussy

bag of pussy

quantum leap

tik tok

snow on the bluff

yoga nude

yoga teacher

RIP t-shirt with my dad air brushed

big scarr's funeral. shot a video

dated a bitch 2 abortions

bitch cried during sex

vasectomy . i am the plan b

abortions

trapeze

laughing skull gay niggas

autistic gay phase

trans men

trans women cut ur dick off

gay niggas walk like spike lee movies

booty os

roaches in atl

child support

harvey weinstein had sick dick

3some etiquite

better pussy

retarded brother

fought white boy in 6th grade

tyrone's brother

dating a virgo

being terrified on stage

played sax in the church band

black moms

kamala harris ending unemployment

my aunt was drooling on herself had diabetic dimensia

had maw maw shook

having to ask mom if i could spend the night

cousins house

women hate the truth kryptonite

low self esteem pussy

dad's heart attack/chest pains

fraternities

dj pauls arm

being a black vet is hard

prisoners get more respect

iraq was like work release abroad

people that watch who follows who

hamlin scam. i need more friends. loner

andrew gillum cau/morehouse grad

cuckold stories. police officer

switching genders

iggy azaela earned 307 k in 24 hours. if inwas a woman i'd never b broke

trans men going thru puberty

Critical race theory should have been called cool race theory

the truth/accountability is pussy kryptonite

walk thru meg/tory kelsey shot meg. who had more of the motive. women lie like dudes. Meg is OJ for Black women

men tell little lies. women tell BIG Lies

ask who is paying child support

how much

dude that made 7.50 and hour paying 1.49 a month

dude that killed his wife

CS a scam

happy wife happy life

i miss my work wife

memphis cops

picking a trauma

chlamydia

bacterial vaginosis for men

asian on asian crime

gook on gook crime

being a husband is like being a post op trans woman

cool race theory

happy wife happy life

Unfaithful movie

SK victims homeless Black women

plotting m*****

plantation game

harriet tubman 360 deals

who got better pussy? (ask women sitting next to each other)

autism

lazy white people

slavery a pretty cool concept

having a white slave in the army

whole skit on asians

y we hate canada y canada hates us

first nigga to die in a chicago winter

eastern and western borders

god b scammin trans people

levels to lgbt self hate

ye and cudi fuckin

dv jokes

got dad's pocket pussy bronzed

next to vet flag

bronze shoes

dad was a shooter

cps stories

fuckin kids' teachers

the trans people of black folks being light skinned

the brotha darkness show interviews with comics

fight haven wheelchair

vday wish i ckuld get somebody pregnant but cant

cjild support but wont pay for pussy

dfcs stories

pet store kid in kennel

broke up white family extended stay

teachers getting beat up by students

Ms. Ringo 7th grade science teacher

teacher killed by school principal

praying grandma

got more respect for the post op trans

uber beats

dabrat pregnant at 48 touch of downs

aint smelled a cig in years. vapes keeping the cancer to yourself

women get to be honest men cant

women live lies

i hate being light skimned. the kind that keeps me alivle

abortion. women fucked it up. covid amazon then war

deaf people doin stand up

aaron rodgers darkness retreat fancy solitary confinement

favorite vagina cry after i jack off

synthetic vagina

dd214 is out paper work

my skin is light but my comedy is dark

church revival

vasectomy like having a slorts car

michael jackson live vocals

domestic violence turns me on

alex murdaugh

xylazine addicts zombie drugs

medical studies

sou sou circle

it's cool to be retarded now

ol girl asked about student loans. should have asked if she would have sucked me off

joined the army cuz i was poor and had a cavity

how do u want to b murdered? true crime hoes

keith lee cholesteral

eating videos

molested by neighbors daughter

have u been molested?

coochie is an acquired taste like beer

reparations what would u b willing to trade?

part white so i look at black people how straights look at the pronoun gang

killing your kids

shamiya hall

cps ptsd

are men softer. evolution

rose party

first pussy i ate

work release abroad

kidnapped in mexico

conjoined twins

church

pull all the genders

molested

lt dan

dad no indoor plumbing

mom killed autistic son threw in lake

pussy on the block chain put the bitch on the block chain

me too made niggas do an audit of their sexual history

baby holocaust

keepin a bitch happy is stressful

crying on tiktok

chris rocks goal was to keep his daughter off the pole mine is to not see my daughter on reddit

grocery store the special alympics

no relationship no raw

slap fights

do people still get crabs?

alien pussy

gender trades

utah cabin murders

da brat's baby gonna have a touch of Downs

do synthetic coochies get stds

how big of a screen do u watch porn on

roe v wade

cant b gay if u axe throw. no limp wrists

if she's good at axe throwing, she will kill u

ms cleo brand tarot cards

retard beef . downs vs. Non verbal autistic kids

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR7sWLfC/

black men got the early trans struggle . django scene cut dick off . we can relate

good blood pressure

levels to the gay

race play

[c-corpse]

No identity is somehow "more good" than others. Being zombiekin is just as important and valid as a being wolf therian. Being a roach is just as integral to someone's identity as being a fox is to another. Someone who's kin with an entire family of animals for spiritual reasons is just as much something to be celebrated as someone who's a psychological alienkin.

We are all tied together through these integral pieces of our identities being "other".

I used to frequent therian instagram years ago, and something that became more and more prevalent was infighting about what it means to be a therian. Call out posts targetting someone who was "clearly faking" because they had more than 3 theriotypes. Policing what people can or can't identify as and judging them if they hadn't done a month of "research" before identifying as it.

Now, with our community becoming more open and visible to the outside, it saddens me that I still see that judgment. I agree that therianthropy is not just wearing a mask and posting videos of yourself doing quadrobics on tik tok, but most of the ones who are doing that are kids who are just discovering themselves, just like we used to be. Besides, don't we get enough hate from outside our community? Why do we want to circulate more?

At the end of the day, if non-humans don't look out for each other, then who will?

Hey, shout out to the otherkin, therian, alterhumans, and any other non-humans with "weird" or "gross" ___-types.

Shout out to the otherkin, therian, alterhumans, and any other non-humans with "weird" or "gross" instincts, urges, feelings, or habits due to their non-human-ness.

Shout out to the otherkin, therian, alterhumans, and any other non-humans who have ever had to hide their own species behind a trigger warning.

Shout out to the otherkin, therian, alterhumans, and any other non-humans who feel like they don't even "fit in" in our own community. I'm in the same position.

We need to have each other's backs.

[vanillanaps]

Somebody on tik tok said “if your skin hates you, get you some of this roach pussy” talking bout la roche posay and I’m crying 😭