#rn im just doing research
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Here’s a poorly paced comic I had to make for class!
My whole life is pretty much just poorly placed comics lmao
#comics#homework#the ocean#wow the ocean#I have another comic due on monday and I have NOT started#I just have to write and illustrate a comic#of two people talking#thats it#Im like ‘what if i did a mystery! a Sherlock and Watson type thing’?#but I also cant write anything#AHH i really cant write any dialogue at all#or make characters#or draw#or make comics#….#its just that kind of week rn#Midterms bruh#Ill get it done#rn im just doing research#by that I mean reading a lot of comics where too people talk#shout out to Molly Ostertag’s Newsletter for that big insperation#and my comic collection at home that I cant reference at all becauses its 11 hours away#hw
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No jokes here. The Navy’s best pilot and the Navy’s best admiral. Between them, eight air-to-air combat kills and five stars. These were men who commanded respect with or without your approval. This was the picture of ruthless competence.
Debriefing (& Other Stories) • part 2 of Easier Done Than Said by @compacflt
#easier done than said by COMPACFLT#this is one of my alltime favourite fics rn#and probably for the rest of time too#its a topgun fic written by COMPACFLT and its insane and its so fucking good#its basically a canon rewrite of#top gun 1986#and#top gun maverick#and spans thirty years of Ice and Mavs relationship#theres just so much in this#so much emotion and characterization and everything#which has driven me insane that im having one hell of a dopamine comedown this week after having read it#i highly reccomended people go read it cause its just really that good#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#bradley rooster bradshaw#jake hangman seresin#i love how the commander wrote mav and ice in this. like theyre clearly military men#but theyre also SO much more#icemav#and theyve taken the canon 'whos the best pilot' and given its own twist#'hes the best pilot in the world'#my heart cant take it anymore#i know im making this sound like 100k words of just fluff but believe me its not#its 30 years of pain and internalised homophobia and time away and falling in love and raising a kid and not once talking about any of it#but the ending is so so so good and the additional parts from different povs literally left me wanting more#i cant do this someone help me go read this go read this go read this#and come cry with me how we cant ever read this for the first time ever again#also shoutout to the commander once again for the insane amount of preplanning and research into the navy theyve done to write this fic#im forver thankful. sorry im a stalker
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i will most likely never say this again but i am actually really enjoying doing research for my dissertation
#like im researching smth i have so much interest and passion for like i love everything ive done for my degree cos im a nerd but this is#different ! like rn it just feels like im doing my own random research not like academic research#diary#tiyas thoughts
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I certainly have my own concerns about the treatment of moo deng but um. well i think some of you may just be racist
#this ^ isn't directed at any post in particular but instead a lot of comments ive seen. but now im gonna talk about other posts down here#and prefacing anything i put in the tags here with DONT TAKE MY WORD FOR IT DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH#but the biggest post ive seen going around rn about moo deng being mistreated and the general quality of khao kheow zoo is questionable#claims that the enclosure is mostly concrete seem to be false from all the sources i can find#the concrete section looks like its specifically around the feeding area which fits zoo care guidelines which specify that the feeding area#be a surface that can be easily cleaned separate from the substrate and is a surface present in other zoos#the lack of deep water also seems to be purposeful? older videos of the same enclosure show deeper water areas#and looking back through the news every baby pygmy hippo announcement from every zoo i could find mentioned periods where the baby had to#learn to swim and was slowly introduced from shallow water to deeper water as time passed#this was also corroborated by fowlers zoo and wild animal medicine volume 8 which suggests keeping the mother dry and then slowly#introducing water as the baby grows as a potential best practice#damn im treating this like a paper now. anyway the negatives#there are absolutely things that strike me as bad eg. public access to the hippos and the way the keeper interacts with them#for the keeper stuff in particular i'd really like to see input from someone who has experience as a zookeeper with pygmy hippos#the public access is something that i def think the zoo could improve on and even older footage from years ago shows people sticking like#selfie sticks and shit off the side of the railings and right into the hippos faces#however again the zoo seems to be making efforts to curb visitor behavior which is tough when you go from having 800 visitors a day to#4000+ and you can't remodel the whole exhibit right then and there#all this to say! just do your own research and take somewhat inflammatory comments on the internet with a grain of salt#also just to make it clear im not making any sweeping statements on khao kheow or the treatment of moo deng im just summarizing what i foun#based on what's being said in the most popular post on the subject ive seen.#for the potential like three people who will read all this hi :) hope ur having a nice day
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Vettonso x Similar Helmets
SV Germany 2012 x FA Monaco 2013: Gold & Dark Red
I think a lot about Vettonso and their mutual relationship witn gold. They're both golden boys, they're both seen lit gold by the sunshine on many podiums throughout the years, both have worn golden boots, and as you can see here: both have worn golden helmets. The parallels in these particular helmets makes me feel insane. Both are: gold with dark red accents, both have their birthplace's coat of arms(Bergstraße and Asturias), both have team animal motifs, and both have symbols to represent their two championships(You by now know the signifigance of the ones on Fernando's helmet, but I think the ones on Seb's are actually a callback to his Formula BMW days when he used to put the smiley stickers on his car for every win.)
And did you know both of these helmets were designed by the same helmet design company? Yep, both of these are JMD helmets. I know JMD helmets are/were pretty popular, but still, there's something to me about Fernando commissioning the same designer that Seb has been using since he was a literal child. Parallels, am I right?
SV Japan 2010 x FA Japan 2023: White with Black & Red
Haha I remember @protocolseben and I discussing this a bit back in September when Fernando's helmet dropped. I honestly think Seb is such an innovator and trailblazer in terms of helmet design, and you can see his influence in helmet design as recently as this past season. I'm not sure if he was the first ever driver to don a matte white helmet with red accents as a representation of the Japanese flag, but it certainly envoked him in my mind when I saw Fernando's!!
I think Fernando's is pretty similar to all of Seb's 2010-2012 Japan helmets but I like this one the most so! I think if Seb wasn't restrained by the Red Bull logo, he def wouldv'e put the red circle where Nando put his so I think Fernando did a really good job, even if unintentionally, at emulating Seb's sense of design.
SV Singapore 2012 x FA Singapore 2012: Sparkly!
Like I said in the one above, it's crazy how much Seb influenced helmet design. He was pretty much the pioneer of sparkly helmets for Singapore, right? It drives me absolutely insane that there's actually pictures of them together in such similar designed helmets. It's kinda funny actually that even though they're pretty deep in the championship fight at this point, and Seb just got one up on Fernando; Fernando is wearing a helmet that is a direct influence from Seb!!! Is that not insane???
Also, Fernando trying to be camp with trying the now in vogue sparkly Singapore helmet, and Seb accidentally completely blew him out of the water with his outrageous light up LED constellation helmet. But god yeah....to have pics of them in matching helmets from this era particuarly makes me emotional ;;;
SV Hungary 2021 x FA 2022: Pink with Dark Blue
I really could've picked any of Seb's 2021 helmets, but I thought this one matched the best with Fernando's main 2021 helmet(with the color pallet.) Also one thing, it's crazy how much control BWT has as a sponsor, I don't think I've ever seen another sponsor go so hard at having a chokehold on individuality. I like that we got pink liveries and pink helmets, but I don't think they should have that much control.
I'm almost kinda sad there wasn't any Miami GP in 2021, because I think that was the only unique helmet Fernando had in 2022. But these match pretty well! Pretty in pink!! It's crazy that their parallels in the 2020s are ongoing even before Fernando actually takes over Seb's seat. Thanks BWT I guess?
SV Abu Dhabi 2022 x FA Abu Dhabi 2022: Fernando's Seb Tribute Helmet
AND HERE WE HAVE THE PIÈCE DE RÉSISTANCE!!! The ultimate conclusion, it literally couldn't get better than this!! This is still unbelievable, like how is this an actual thing that happened!? Fernando intentionally branding his helmet, the only symbol of individuality in F1, with his rival's flag colors, HIS FLAG!!!!! Not to mention the literal "Vettono Best Moments" collage he posted alongside it....and the hand-holding....and everything that happened with them at Abu Dhabi 2022....
But god, after years of incidentally making parallel helmet designs, Fernando decided to officially tie the knot of the red string of fate, and make a helmet directly referencing Seb's. I think it's funny because as I said with two of the previously mentioned ones, those Fernando designs are pretty much inspired by Seb's, and here he is openly making one directly inspired by Seb. I don't really have words for how this actually makes me feel because it's just. Yeah. The most open and clear declaration of love and respect and admiration one could ever make. TO ME.
#all of my posts subheading should be: 'its probably not that deep BUT-'#i can't believe ive made two deeply researched and beloved posts in a row one day after the other#posts sponsored by: 12 am red bull consumption. my all-consuming devotion and love for vettonso. and my unwillingness to do schoolwork#i mean i felt a lot of emotions and had fun making it but like. hey. could you put this effort into school?#anyways feeling deeply emotionally affected about helmets and their symbolism#i think in the entirety of f1 seb and fernando are two of the most dedicated and passionate about helmet designs and symbolism?#so this post is very special to me :] helmet fuckers unite <3#again: they say they aren't friends and don't share any hobbies and im just staring at them like YOU IDIOTS!!!#its just that spongebob meme of him pointing out the trashcans. like guys. be fr rn. you totally share hobbies#both like helmet design. paddel and pingpong. sustainability. cars. racing. european football. THE LIST GOES ON AND ON#well im glad they swapped helmets at some point(i think nando gave seb two pretty old ones as well. now thats dedication!)#if they werent cowards i bet they couldve also had a 5+ hour long discussion about helmet design ;;;;;;#thinking also about how fernando has one of seb's in his museum >:) but if only it were one of the ones on this list. sigh.#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion#well lmk if theres any other vettonso helmets you think are similar!!! im pretty blind to seb helmets that arent rbr era tbh#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#vettonso#we do a little bit of f1
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Not sure who it beat the futz outta but I'm sure they deserved it
#kept going back and forth on whether i wanted to make the blood stand out more#like to i make it bright and very very red or do i leave it more realistic#i ended up sorta compromising and then adding a bit of MBs own fluids to the mix cause why not#Murderbot#fanart#the murderbot diaries#art (asshole research transport)#Murderbot Diaries#secunit#first look at my Perihelion crew logo!#based on some of my favorite shirts from my own closet#shitty background because im working on another pic with a much more elaborate background thats slowly killing me#i have work i need to be doing and a zine piece i need to finish buuuuut my head hurts and rn its just#easier to work on some self indulgent stuff rn#anyway the scene in Network Effect where MB eviscerates the Grey Targets by more or less#liberating them of their spines#lives in my head rent free#i was having a good chuckle at all the tags on my MB character sheet that are like#ITS SO FRIENDSHAPED AND SOFT#because i was already drawing this one of it splattered in blood djejdhsh#get u a blorbo that can be both i suppose!
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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#neutral is like. shrug. if you have nothing better to do / would put it on as background noise. or plain dont care either way!#but yeah im... poking streaming with a stick rn#im doing some research... based on the results of this poll ill make another wondering about preferred platforms#cause ive done streaming before. Technically#when i was active on instagram and they rolled out the live option id sometimes do a lil art stream#on my phone and a tripod#But! this time around id actually go get a mic and use a legit platform#probably either twitch or picarto... maybe youtube... but who knows!#who knows if i'll follow through with this at all! id like to! i remember enjoying streams!#it sounds like fun!#and i think it would be cool to show the Process - as slapdash as it is#absolutely unprompted#there are a lot of different things i could do on streams i think#could do streams were i focus on one project. request streams. commish streams. just chill draw session streams#streams where we all try something new Together... working on skills!#something to consider!
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how the fuck did my english class manage to take a semi-positive stance on generative ai
#im actually so pissed about this rn#we were doing an assignment about ai and plagarism#and i was expecting a firmly anti-ai stance#cause yk. english class. writing.#and also schools are usually anti ai (at least from what iv experienced)#instead what i got told was that generative ai is alright to use so long as the teacher gives you permission and you cite it as a source#like???? no??????? its still not ethical to use????#youre an english teacher writing and literature is literally your whole thing how are you okay with generative ai?????#i was sitting there fuming the whole time#like i wrote out an entire paragraph explaining that generative ai is NOT in fact okay to use#yk on account of it stealing from writers and artists#and also being HORRIBLE for the environment#but i didnt get the chance to say that because the teacher didnt even open the discussion of the ethics of ai in general#just about what it was and what makes it constitute as plagiarism#which i find to be incredibly ironic given that ai literally plagiarises everything#ALSO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LETTING STUDENTS USE AI#SO LONG AS THEYRE “GIVEN PERMISSION” AND “CITE” IT LIKE ITS NOT THEIR WORK DOESNT MATTER IF THEY CITE IT OR NOT#ITS NOT THE SAME AS JUST GETTING SOURCES LIKE FOR A RESEARCH ESSAY#ITS STEALING#HOW THE FUCK IS THAT FAIR TO THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY PUT IN THE EFFORT????#anti ai#fuck ai#stop ai#fuck ai everything#i hate ai
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i'll admit, i know absolutely nothing about kissinger, aside from having heard the name, but i again find myself in a weird spot bc i see the entire internet celebrate that the guy finally died and now i see the news and hes getting big coverage and is talked about only positively ...
ever since i learned about the whoel deal with what israel is doing to palestine i have huge doubt on the news and i cant say this isnt adding to that and im pretty sure im right about this case too
#ganondoodles talks#random#dont have time rn but will probably do some research on it#what i find interesting is that my mom believes he stopped the war in vietnam#when i gathered from context so far the he did the opposite ... among more horrific shit#also when i said that i think hes like .. bad#my mom just went -but isnt he a jew???-#and im#so what???#anyone of any religion can be a shitass person??#also theres a place in germany that just got named after him ...
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im gonna pretend sae and rin are jude and jobe bellingham 🙏
#this was probably said in the past already but im just now getting into the actual football thing and im doing my research rn#(1) notification from ads
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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made my ocs in the sims lalalalaaa
#cam.txt#im having such a. fun time. so joyous#slashGenuine#i need to draw my ocs😓 i want to but my mind blanks when i try to even just doodle them. i cant even doodle this is dire#how do you come up with drawing ideas agajn#actually i had some ideas but those are for much bigger pieces than im willing to make rn#Omg anyway. time to use the tags to talk about my day. i watched this amazing video essay today#like for fun. instead of doing my work. jk i didnt have work. so i spent my asl class period watching youtube while practicing signs yk#anyway the video essay was so well written (/spoken??) and thoroughly researched it was just so good#it was about booktok and anti-intellectualism and critical analysis and to some extent oft about capitalism. also went over book bans#(FUCK book bans!!! i could go on and on about Just book bans and how horrible they are but i wont i suppose)#anyway. idk. does anyone want a link to the essay i feel like i have to share it it was so like. intriguing. also made me realize i need to#-read more. i signed up for goodreads bc of it lol#anyhoooo
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...
#being back in the lab is giving me whiplash#bc i like seeing all the ppl again. i like seeing my cultures again. but in the one class im taking im worried for the amount of reading#and discussing ill have to do. its going to b very obvious when im struggling to understand what im reading#and thats in addition to the reading ill have to do specific to my project. and my dad's like: ur mental health comes 1st. if it's too much#then step away but if i did that i really would be cutting the cord between myself and ever finishing in this program. ugh. how am i already#more tired than when i was getting up at 3 am and spending 8hrs on my feet?#and this morning. after 3 months of applications i finally have an interview for a government job.#so im like here going thru the motions of being a grad student but im still holding on to my way out#rn my ideal would be that i actually get this job im interviewing for bc it involves growing microbes for agricultural research and i want#to stay a microbiologist. but i would have enough time to finish out the semester before moving across the country yet again.#bc i dont wanna just leave bc i teach 2 lab sections but i dont think i wanna do this anymore#but hey it's only day 2. ive got plenty of time to change my mind#it just sucks and im tired#unrelated
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Was doing okay holding back all of the fear re: the potential election outcome until literally this second what the fuck to my brain lmao
#wherein lmao means I'm so scared and i cant stop crying rn#no one should have to fear this. not me nor anyone else nor the ppl who have already had to flee their homes worldwide#a person shouldn't have to worry abt violence being enacted upon them bc of who they are which like#obvi isn't a new concept to myself and most ppl but i feel like the folks who'll vote Trmp don't care for it#won't affect them in theory after all so of course they don't care#Housemate and I are trying to figure out where we could go and how in case of the worst#and it's not even the first time I'll have had to leave a place bc of safety reasons (two nickles on that already in my life)#but it doesn't make it any less daunting#i just want to live my life in our little house with Housemate and the cats working my shit job and trying to enjoy whatever i can#none of this matters and im shouting into a void full of equally terrified ppl dealing with this themselves if not worse#these tags don't make sense entirely and i don't care. i have things I should be doing and I'm sitting in my room#paralysed by fear over all of this#i should distract myself but with what? at what point do i accept the distractions can only do so much?#maybe I'll just take a nap again. idk. feels weird and wrong to play a video game or nap ordo anything that isn't trying to research options#i need to stop rambling here like im hoping time will pause while i type im out again lmao
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happy thursday/friday. heres (perhaps? the first bit i've ever posted on here?) an excerpt from my upcoming hbo war vietnam era/post vietnam au series
i literally laid down on my bed and whipped this up in less than an hour and i fuck with it and im in a giving mood so please enjoy :)
_-_-_-_-_-_
Cradling the cool, hard plastic of the payphone in between his cheek and his shoulder, Eugene pulled a few loose coins from his pants pocket and slipped them into the lot on the machine. It was getting late here but over on the West coast it was just around dinner time and hopefully he could catch him at home. He easily recalled the number and after only two rings, the line clicked.
“Hello?” the familiar, soft voice came through the phone line.
“Jay, it’s Eugene,” he said, as a faint smile naturally appeared on his face.
“Gene, hey!” Jay responded, voice sounding more excited now that he knew it wasn’t some prank call or a wrong number. “What’s going on?”
What was going on? Eugene couldn’t help but wonder as he glanced around at the brightly lit up truck stop, everything slightly out of focus due to the combination of wear and dirt on the phone booth glass.
He glanced at the gas station parking lot and still saw Snafu’s rusting blue pickup with the giant chrome Airstream attached. He didn’t seriously think Snafu would leave him in the middle of nowhere but Eugene couldn’t help the small bout of anxiety he got when he went too long without seeing Snafu or his- their -temporary home. All of a sudden he felt like he might as well have been five instead of twenty-five and he just lost sight of his mother at the market in town.
“So, funny story…” Eugene started slowly, still processing how he would explain the situation he had willingly walked himself into.
“An actually funny story or funny like you need bail money- I assume not for you though, because this call isn’t coming from a police station,” Jay asked easily, tone even like he really wouldn’t have minded either scenario.
“Funny like Snafu showed up at my door Wednesday night,” Eugene stated, deciding to simply bite the bullet. “And I am calling you from a payphone outside Dayton, Ohio because he asked me to go on a road trip to the Grand Canyon and for some crazy reason I said yes. And I figured someone besides Bill and Faye should know so, yeah. That’s what’s going on with me right now.”
For a long moment all Eugene could hear was the slight crackle of Jay’s breath as he slowly processed the news. While he waited, Eugene glanced over his shoulder again; still no sign of Snafu but the truck was still there.
“That is a pretty funny situation you’ve got yourself in,” Jay decided after a long moment. “Now, I know you said you agreed to go with him but did you? Is this a willing trip or are you actually kidnapped and you’re calling for help. Cough twice if you’re in danger.”
“Jay,” Eugene sighed exasperatedly. “I’m really okay. I promise.”
“You sure?” his friend asked, the dry, sarcastic tone from before gone now and in its place was something more genuine, more concerned.
Eugene frowned as he fidgeted with the phone cord for a moment. He had wanted to call Jay for several reasons. Firstly, he and Jay regularly communicated, via letters and occasional phone calls, if they wanted to swing the long-distance fee for something that couldn’t be held up by the U.S. postal service, and Eugene didn’t want to be thought of as rude if a letter went unanswered for longer than usual. He also wanted to let Jay know that Snafu was not only alive but seemingly okay, as he was one of approximately four people who would like to know that information. Lastly, however, Eugene wanted to call Jay because he was the only person alive who knew what the fuck had actually gone on between the two of them while in Vietnam. Perhaps Eugene should have called him back when he was weighing the pros and cons of traveling across the country with the man and none of his friends seemed to understand why he was so hesitant to go along with the man who, to the rest of the world, was just one of his closest war buddies, but that ship had long since sailed. At the very least he could let someone know his situation in case things blew up later and he needed an ally to help pick up his pieces.
“I’m sure,” Eugene said definitively. “I promise.”
As Eugene picked his head up, he watched as Snafu exited the gas station with a mildly irritated expression on his face and a paper bag in hand. He watched for a long moment as Snafu’s eyes scanned the parking lot before they finally landed on him in the booth. Ignoring how his stomach lurched in a not-totally-uncomfortable way as Snafu put him in his sights, Eugene simply raised his hand to let the man know he saw him before Eugene turned his back to him so he could finish his phone call.
“If you’re sure, Eugene,” Jay decided quietly. “You say you’re gonna see the Canyon?”
“Yeah, finally,” Eugene huffed with a small, sad smile.
“Well, make sure you take some good pictures to send to me,” Jay responded, the slightly stilted tone in his voice let Eugene know Jay remembered what the Grand Canyon really meant to him.
“I will. Faye let me borrow her camera.”
Faye’s beloved Kodak was currently nestled away in a storage compartment in Snafu’s Airstream. Eugene didn’t want to risk damaging or even losing such a beloved possession on the trip but Faye would not hear of it. She not only wanted pictures of the Grand Canyon but also told Eugene to take as many pictures as he could to remember the trip.
“Hey, so, I gotta run, Snafu’s looking at me all pissed from across the parking lot and I think he’s beginning to scare off the patrons of the gas station,” Eugene said as he looked over his shoulder and watched for a moment as Snafu lit himself a new cigarette before he began to shuffle back to his truck.
“Thanks for calling and letting me know,” Jay said. “Feel free to call again when you can or if Snafu wants, you can give him my information. It’d be nice to hear from him.”
“Be careful, he might show up at your door next and ask to go on a trip to Canada.”
“Can’t say I’ve been up north before so I might go if he asked,” Jay said easily. “But I’ll let you go.”
“Bye, Jay.”
“Bye, Gene.”
Hanging the phone back on its cradle, Eugene pushed out of the slightly claustrophobic booth and quickly crossed the parking lot until he reached where Snafu was casually leaning against the side of his truck, his cigarette half smoked as it hung out of the corner of his mouth. Once Snafu’s pale eyes landed on him, he pushed off the side of the truck and climbed back into the cab of his truck.
“Who’d you call?” he grunted as Eugene climbed into the passengers side of the cab.
“Jay,” Eugene answered, deciding to go for the truth.
“De L’Eau?” Snafu asked, a hint of surprise in his voice as he started up the truck and slowly pulled out of the parking lot, the large airstream towed behind them making it a bigger production than usual..
“You know any other Jays?”
“Damn, there anybody from over there who you haven’t kept in touch with?”
“Yeah, you,” Eugene responded shortly as he continued to stare straight ahead through the windshield.
Instead responding, Snafu simply flipped on the car radio and let the twangy tones of Creedence Clearwater Revival fill up the space of the cab as they drove down the dark, semi-deserted road in search of somewhere out of the way to park the Airstream for the night.
#sledgefu#eugene needs jay in every universe to be that semi calm friend to tell him its okay if he's having a mental break down#just let a man know so he can respond appropriately#but yeah. bulk of the fic is eugene and snaf go on a roadtrip to the grand canyon in 1973#peppered in are flashbacks/time jumps back to eugene times pre during and immediately post vietnam war#im having a lot of fun just doing weird funky bits of research so :)#hopefully will start posting soon. rn im just jumping around writing different bits#kelly writes#vietnam au
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