#rly what will decide how much I like these changes will depend on how it interacts with other specials

[chisatowo]

Kraken

[indigosaffron]

Caitvi being endgame was the thing that ruined season 2.

I don't mean that in a homophobic way - I am literally a lesbian and in the first season, I rly liked Caitvi's dynamic. Vi was given a space to heal and a person who helped and cared for her. She didn't need to protect and lead Caitlyn like she did with Jinx, Mylo and Claggor, and as a result we got to see her heal and be vulnerable as she didn't have to be strong for the people she loved. Caitlyn, on the other hand, had grown up sheltered and privileged, and her relationship with Vi allowed her to see the people of Zaun more clearly and encouraged her to help them and set aside her prejudice. This dynamic was also reflected in how the show portrayed the people of Zaun. In the first season, it's very pro-Zaun, pro-revolutionary, anti-fascism, all that.

And then the second season, Caitlyn pulled a complete 180, started acting like a fascist and hating the people of Zaun, and in the end... Vi forgives her.

Is this in character for both of them? Yes, actually. Caitlyn has grown up sheltered and was raised to look down on the people of Zaun, it's very easy for her to just turn back to that way of thinking. Vi is also incredibly dependent and forgiving when it comes to those she loves. We see how hard it is for her to let go of anyone - Vander and Powder are obvious examples. So it isn't strange that she doesn't leave Caitlyn and forgives her in an instant.

Would it have been so much more interesting if Vi didn't forgive her? Yes. A million times yes. I would've loved to see that character growth for Vi, of her establishing that boundary and deciding that she had to leave Caitlyn behind. I'm honestly kind of mad that they gave Jinx so much development and growth throughout the story and Vi has barely changed. Her political beliefs seems to be the biggest thing that has changed, and even those are rooted in the same character traits - first she was fighting for powder, now she's fighting for Caitlyn.

It's not just that I'm mad that they never address how toxic this relationship becomes in season 2. I saw someone else mention how it went from "privileged + oppressed" in s1 to "oppressor + oppressed" in s2 and if that doesn't just sound like literal abuse to you idk what to say. They frame this in the show as a normal relationship - at best, it's both of their faults and their both in a bad place mentally. They never address how horrible Caitlyn acts throughout act 1.

As a result of this, they kind of lose the whole "Piltover is an oppressive force and the people of Zaun should revolt" plot line. Instead it becomes "both sides are bad and in the wrong", just like with Caitvi's relationship. After all, the show can't properly condemn Piltover and yet support Caitlyn at the same time. And if they want Caitlyn and Vi together in a relationship that looks healthy, they have two options - either they address the flaws in the relationship and take the time required to fix them, or they ignore the flaws and pretend it's not a big deal.

They don't have the time in 2 seasons to address those flaws, though, so they decide to ignore them, and in doing so ignore the flaws in Piltover's overall treatment of Zaunites. This creates a contradicting message between the first and second seasons. In the first season, it was obvious that the Zaunites were being mistreated and that they should rise up. In the second season, they suddenly ignore all of that, and instead make the nations unite to face the "bigger problem". I didn't really like the hex tech plot line to begin with because I felt like it distracted from the more important plot line, which was the whole Piltover v Zaun thing, which they completely brushed under the rug.

Maybe this would've been better if they'd had more time to properly flesh out Caitvi's relationship, but as it is, it would've been better if it wasn't endgame at all imo.

[antisocialsharky]

Hello! I just wanted to say that I've been using some of your posts talking about ASPD to help me better understand it to write an OC I'm writing. I have a question though, do you mind talking about more symptoms of ASPD that I should keep in mind when writing her?

Hi! Very glad to hear that my posts have been helpful and its cool that you are aiming for good representation!

When it comes to how ASPD symptoms should be written and which ones should make it into literature, theres different opinions, so this is gonna go a bit beyond your question I guess? Just to get a roundabout view.

1. Recovery Position

• First thing to rly keep in mind is that the intensity of the symptoms, the way they present and the way the character would deal with them, absolutely depends on where they are in recovery.

• It also depends on what you understand as recovery, be that the reducing of overall symptoms so they are less often present, the act of reducing the harm that is done by your symptoms (ex: trough redirection, or actively learning prosocial behavior) or just learning to find a way to live in society the way you are. No ones view on recovery or the way they go about it (or if they decide not to) is in any way better or superior, but it is an aspect that does change how many symptoms you show in which way, so its important to think about when writing a character.

2. Covert/Overt Symptom Presentation

• Another thing to think about, depending on what fits into your story, is the question as to whether your character is very obviously antisocial, or whether they go about it in a more covert secret way. Can they control which symptoms they show when? Or are they lost to their impulses and emotions? Do they come from a background where hiding their symptoms was essential, or were they able/forced to present obviously?

• Theres also a more mixed presentation where some symptoms are more obvious and others are not, depending on stuff like what meets your needs best, how much control you have and whether or not you've done any active work on the symptoms yet, etc.

• Then you can also think about the personal opinion of your character on symptom presentation. Do they believe that they should get to just be themselves? Are they of the opinion that people just have to deal with their symptoms and accept them that way? Or do they think that they have to hide some symptoms in order to fit into society better? Have they potentially adopted some prosocial ways of thinking and model their presentation after that? Depending on what it is, it will obviously look different.

3. The Causes of their ASPD

• Depending on the type of trauma they went trough that made them develop ASPD, presentation will differ. Its highly individual of course, but theres some themes, like people who come from violent households often being violent themselves, people who were neglected struggling with the social aspects like empathy & remorse, people who were lied to/manipulated/berated all the time adopting similar manners, people who had to commit crimes and/or witnessed those often continuing to do so because its normal to them, etc.

• The other aspect is genetics, where certain tendencies can be given from parent to child or grandparent to grandchild, such as impulsive tendencies, the type of temper someone has, access (or denied access) to certain parts of the brain that are responsible for prosocial emotions, etc. Those genetics mix with the trauma and sometimes push the presentation in certain directions, so its a thing to keep in mind.

• Some CD/ASPD symptoms can also develop/be made worse trough bullying, intense experiences in childhood/teens, hanging around with people who engage in/normalize certain behaviors, etc. (ex: kids with delinquient tendencies who hang around other kids with those, may be more likely to develop that as a continous behavior). So its also worth thinking about who your character was around while they grew up, who influenced them how and what was normalized to them.

4. The Current DSM-V ASPD Criteria

• When it comes to the core symptoms of ASPD, theres 3 out of 7 DSM criteria points your character should meet. It doesn't matter which ones, but it has to be at least three! Your character should also be older than 18, have shown conduct disorder symptoms before they turned 15 and have their ASPD symptoms even in absence of other comorbidities, substances and/or episodes (Criterion B-D which I am not quoting, but thats it summed up)

• The 7 criteria points recognized in the DSM-V are (and I quote):

A. A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of rights of others, occuring since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

1. Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are ground for arrest.

2. Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases or conning others for personal profit or pleasure.

3. Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead.

4. Irritability or aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults.

5. Reckless disregard for safety of self or others.

6. Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations.

7. Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated or stolen from another.

• Everything after "as indicated by" is an example of a possible presentation. The DSM-V acknowledges that there are other possible ways in which symptoms can show up.

5. The Alternative ASPD Model in the DSM-V

• This is not used to officially diagnose people with ASPD, but is one idea, as to how personality disorder classification could work in the future. It looks at the symptoms as dimensions, under which possible experiences could fall and mentions quite a few things the current criteria doesn't, so I'll quote it below as well:

A. Moderate or greater impairment in personality functioning, manifested by characteristic difficulties in two or more of the following areas:

1. Identity: Egocentrism, self esteem derived from personal gain, power or pleasure.

2. Self direction: Goal setting based on personal gratification, absence of prosocial internal standards, associated with failure to conform to lawful or culturally normative ethical behavior.

3. Empathy: Lack of concern for feelings, needs or suffering of others, lack of remorse after hurting or mistreating another.

4. Intimacy: Incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, as exploitation is primary means of relating to others, including by deceit and coercion, use of dominance or intimidation to control others.

B. Six or more of the following seven pathological personality traits:

1. Manipulativeness (an aspect of antagonism): Frequent use of subterfuge to influence or control others, use of seduction, charm, glibness, or ingratiation to achieve ones ends.

2. Callousness (an aspect of antagonism): Lack of concern for feelings or problems of others, lack of guilt or remorse about negative or harmful effects of ones actions on others, aggression, sadism.

3. Deceitfulness (an aspect of antagonism): Dishonesty and fraudulence, misrepresentation of self, embellishment or fabrication when relating events.

4. Hostility (an aspect of antagonism): Persistent or frequent angry feelings, anger or irritability in response to minor slights and insults, mean, nasty or vengeful behavior.

5. Risk taking (an aspect of disinhibition): Engagement in dangerous, risky and potentially self damaging activities, unnecessarily and without regard for consequences, boredom proneness and thoughtless initiation of activities to counter boredom, lack of concern for ones limitations and denial of the reality of personal danger.

6. Impulsivity (an aspect of disinhibition): Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli, acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes, difficulty establishing and following plans.

7. Irresponsibility (an aspect of disinhibition): Disregard for - and failure to honor - financial and other obligations or commitments, lack of respect for - and lack of follow trough on - agreements and promises.

Note: The individual is at least 18 years of age.

6. Other Common Experiences

• Theres a few experiences that quite a few people with ASPD report, that have not explicitly made it into the criteria. Sometimes these are examples for certain symptoms and/or are implied, sometimes these have been studied but haven't been written as a requirement for diagnosis and sometimes these are not supported by science/still debated by science.

• Apathy, a total lack of emotion, overall muted emotions or having trouble to access certain emotions, is something some people with ASPD talk about a lot. There is no scientific consensus yet, as to whether this is an ASPD symptom. Some theories suggest it falls under PTSD (absence of positive emotions & tendency to experience negative ones and/or having dissociated away from the emotions and/or having put up a sort of non permanent barrier as a form of protection), depression (common comorbidity, anhedonia & apathy can both be part of it), other PDs (schizoid, borderline episodes, etc.) or something else entirely. While its not sure whether its caused by ASPD, or not, a lot of people with it seem to report differences in their capability to feel a full range of intense emotions.

• The criteria talks about aggressiveness and physical fights, which is not the only way in which this symptom seems to commonly present. Harming animals, homicidal ideation, dealing with aggressive thoughts & urges without actually acting on them, verbal aggression, taking out aggression on self or property, etc. are also often reported.

• The current criteria doesn't mention it at all and the alternative talks about a complete inability to form bonds, but community consensus seems to be, that while forming emotional bonds is harder & happens more rarely, it is still possible. The intensity differs (some describe the bond as a logical construct, some only do platonic bonds, some only do romantic bonds, some describe deep obsessiveness, etc.) as does the number of people they find themselves bonded with. Theres also a significant amount of people in the community that describe a phenamenon similar to BPDs FP (aka a bond to a person that is defined by the symptoms of the personality disorder).

• There is some debate on whether or not an absence of prosocial inner standards makes it impossible or more difficult to define personal morals and understand how morality works. Some people with ASPD say they have no difficulties, some report that they struggle with the understanding part, some say they struggle with upholding those norms and others struggle with both. It seems like ASPD could make it more difficult to understand and/or respect the way societies morals work for some, which makes room for conflict.

• Personality Disorders are what we call egosyntonic, which usually means that they are in alignment with what we as people think is the correct way to feel, think and act. This doesn't mean that its inherently impossible to change the way you think/feel/act and that recovery is impossible, but it may make it more difficult to break out of the patterns (if that is what one wants). Some people show little problems in this area, some need a lot of outer assistance and others either can't or don't want to change.

7. Other Things To Keep In Mind

• You should probably think about whether your character fits the psychopathy subtype & if yes which definition of it you want to use (theres different theories)

• ASPD can influence every aspect of your life, so it may interfere with things in such a roundabout way that you wouldn't even think about it at first (ex: Disregard for safety of self => Disregard for your own health => You get ill carelessly => You dont take ur meds responsibly, or put off a doctors visit for months/years => You end up with longterm damage => You don't treat it responsibly => You get more ill => Death. Which happens to ppl without ASPD too, but can indeed be a presentation of that symptom.). Additionally comorbdities interact & interfere with ASPD symptoms and may alter/add onto presentation!

• You could also always add the ASPD stigma into the mix and how your character responds to it/how it influences them. Does it make them not wanna recover? Does it make them wanna recover even more to prove everyone wrong? Are they trying to get into therapy but no therapist wants them? Is it on a court record and causing problems that way? Do they lose relationships/friendships? Does it change the way they see themselves or others? etc.

• The key with ASPD characters is not to just make them into good people or portray them as angels and also not to always make them into the cruel villain. The key is to show that they are an individual, a human being, a single example for what this disorder can present as. If you can somehow portray that the presentation of ASPD in your character is just how this specific character is and is not how the disorder inherently presents itself, you nailed it! Cus u'll have ASPDers who want to just stay the way they are and who are exactly what you'd imagine a cruel villain to be like, you have ASPDers who you couldn't ever distinguish from a prosocial person, cus they learned to blend in and you've got ASPDers who decide that they wanna do a 180 and behave in the most prosocial way possible and then you have everything in between and beyond. So as long as your character would meet criteria, as long as you're not spreading misinfo and as long as its clear that its just one example of a possible presentation, you're good in my opinion (but this is indeed just my opinion and others may disagree).

Note: If you need examples for the specific symptoms, you can ofc send another ask, this is more of a general overview of what exists, cus going into detail on each would make this post wayyy too long.

[ronanxing]

please how do you pick colors 😭 I'm trying to learn how to color and I am obsessed with your comics (like your ivantill ones lol) and how do you pick such a cohesive color palette and choose where to put what????

Your art is amazing like actually :) happy holidays!!

😭 tysm anon and happy holidays to you!! i did my best to explain some of the process behind my color picking and choices for the ivantill comics under the cut, i hope its coherent cuz quite frankly it also takes me a long time to decide what colors to use

a little disclaimer: i tend to just put base colors, before i start adding shading or lighting. i also dont usually start off with a fixed color palette in mind, because my process is pretty much figuring out as i go along, and playing with all sorts of colors; however whenever i do end up with a fixed idea on the color palette the process is still applicable anyways so hopefully its helpful for u too :’]

ok so i usually decide colors by asking what kind of mood or tone im going for. for example, the recent ivti comic i did

the comic imo is pretty playful - theres a romantic element ofc but i think the focus is rly on how ivans being kulit / annoying as usual so i thought a spunky, albeit warm color would rly fit. theyre also chilling in tills house so i thought a home-y, comfy feeling would be good

i was still playing around, so for the first attempt at realizing that tone, i added a hot pink multiply layer to see how it looked

(first attempt vs final colors) (also im sorry for the low quality procreates timelapse is wack)

ironically enough it actually created a really cool looking color palette which was not what i was going for. so i kept testing colors for a bit; the shadow is hot pink, and i ended up going for a bit of a desaturated green as a base / overlay because it mellowed out the pinkness. i also put both the base and the shadow on a darken (50%) layer so that the og colors peek through a bit more compared to a multiply layer. in the end tho, i ditched pink and went for a saturated red

the green also makes for a nice complimentary color to the red, and it overall has that home-y, warm but playful feeling i wanted to include ⬇️

i added a highlight layer (color dodge, 82%) so that it pops a bit more, and also bc i knew i was gonna draw a big lamp on their right in the bg. speaking of the bg i made it a green/yellow hue so that the base for green on ivan n till make sense, and it ended up working for the best cuz the red acts as a nice contrast

(admittedly i think if the lighting of the room is green the shadow should also be green, but tbh i tend prioritize contrast as much as possible regardless cuz it looks nice 🤡 even if it fails to make sense realistically its for the vibes)

^ i ended up remedying this a little bit by adding bits of green to the shadows on ivan n tills hair and clothes, and also because its fairly complementary to the pink palette i have going in for the shadows and even the highlights (esp on ivan)

i also decided to shade in dark parts in the lineart so that it pops a little more

looking at the values also really help! esp in comics, where each panel can have its own lighting depending on what angle ure drawing. u can do this easily by adding a pure black layer above the entire piece, and setting it to color (100%)

for me the values actually made me realize things that may look too similar, which usually leads to me changing the color. for example, the couch and stuffed animals behind ivan and till were actually a lot darker before i changed it. bc it kinda blended into ivti a bit, it also got the eyes’ attention away from them. i ended up adjusting their hue and values so that it matches the bg, and ivan and till stick out more (alongside other color adjustments) ⬇️

changing the lineart also helps quite a bit! i made the lineart for ivan and till a little darker, while the bg elements got a darker green instead so that the bg elements dont take as much attention

looking at b&w values also helped me realize that the og pink i was using for the panels was a little too dark, so i made it significantly lighter so that the panels stick out more (esp bc they take huge precedence in the second page)

(og panel color vs final)

and finally when i pick all the colors and am satisfied with them, i merge everything into one final color layer for easier rendering :> procreate (and im sure other programs) allows for color / hue adjustments so you can def play around with those!

as for the harana / first ivantill comic i made, it had all the similar steps of the recent comic so ill just talk a little bit about the palette

so im ngl this comic was a bit of a struggle to color for me,, cuz i wanted it to be romantic but it was set at night. usually that dictates cooler tones and colors, but i was aiming for something warm. thats when i figured i could just let tills room wash an orange color, which would help with making warm lighting but also help till and ivan stick out again from the surrounding darkness / blues

i went with a purple base, cuz i thought it was a nice warm ish color at night and it makes blue and orange pop. i also figured that i could make the base both purple since the highlights are the most attention grabbing / contrasting colors

also used the moonlight as rim lighting so that ivan sticks out a little more,, i also figured that tills room would be projecting harsher lighting over the moonlight

lighting it this way also allows for nice color contrast regardless of what character is in the center: ivans outside but awashed in orange lighting (from tills room), and tills inside but hes sticking his head out a little so hes noticeably purple. it allows for characters to stand out while also being pleasing to the eye

and im ngl i cheated a bit again 😅 i think till shouldve projected a shadow on ivan a couple of times and the highlights might be too harsh but again i just prioritized making their facial expressions seen LOL

for this one i didnt use any layer modes aside from (if i remember correctly) a purple multiply layer and overlay for shadows and base respectively

and thats pretty much my process for figuring out the colors !!

TLDR; i look for the mood or tone im going for, try to make interesting contrasts / complimentary colors and i also double check if each character sticks out by checking values :> it really helps me too to play around a LOT, i think it takes me like an hour or just 30 mins to figure out what colors to use and also adjusting it significantly when i merge everything together

[omeletcat]

Hey! I recently started following your blog and I'd like to ask you some rather important questions before I start offering advice and my thoughts.

Why are you making a game? And for who?

Cause I don't wanna get in the way of your creativity just because you're not making "a game for me".

Like, as an example, I mostly play games on controllers, when I play games, and you tying so many of the mechanics and controls to the mouse means using controller input will not be very easy to add, if possible at all

But ... If you don't like playing games with a controller, and wanna see how much you can do with the keyboard/mouse inputs, then it is definitely the right decision to tie all these mechanics to that! But if me pointing this out makes you go "Oh right! There are people who mostly use controllers and I definitely wanna make my game work for them as well!" then it's a valid thing to point out that your game could prove hard to make work with a controller as input.

This is, btw, important to keep in mind when receiving critiques from others from your end, are they giving you tips/ideas/etc. that align with your vision of what you want to make, and following their advice will help you? Or are their points valid from their point of view, but would just muddy your vision and trying to accommodate it would mean falling into the trap of trying to please everyone, failing to make a good game for anyone?

Ty for asking! I'm mostly making this game because i think its fun and i rly wanna make something cool that people will enjoy. My ultimate dream is to make something so cool that it would be worth making fanart for! For the who part idrk, for people like me who like the kind of game i am making? ALSO TYSM FOR TELLING ME ABOUT THE CONTROLLER THING I had a rly small thought about smth like that ages ago but brushed it off thinking i should focus on making the core mechanics first. But yea you're totally right! implementing this combat system with a controller would be hard, especially since i mostly grew up playing with the wii.. and like a playstation controller three times. What i usually play is in random free stuff i could find online. I am unsure how it would work/how it even works when you apply a controller to a computer to play a game with it but i am definitely gonna think about this!! The core idea is the aiming, i could either change the mouse aiming to aiming with a joystick and moving a mouse like thingy around but i feel that wouldn't rly work.

The current aiming mechanic works kinda like this the screen is divided into 8 area's (4 directions and one for close and long range attacks) to attack you press either left or right mouse click and depending on if the mouse is in the central area or outside of it it will give a different attack for attacks that have a specific direction, the 4 area's decide where the attack will be aimed thanks to the mouse position. I could make it so that the player selects the area's like an option button? I can't rly explain it, imagine a list of buttons and moving the joystick to go down, imagine that but with these area's! This would work best for attacks are directed to a certain area like Rae's blast attack.

It has 4 directions and only aims at those parts. So for this attack it would work great. You move around the selector and switch around between them to aim pick a direction and if its far or close. But for some other attacks like Luca's main it aims towards the mouse position and doesn't pick a direction depending on where the mouse is, I am unsure how i would do this if i pick the idea of switching between zone's. I may just make it so the direction the player is moving while attacking is where it is aiming. Because when the player is attacking you can't move. I think that would work out. HOWEVER I am unsure how I would add this, how to detect if the player is using a controller, and a bunch of other things, i'm pretty sure i can add controller inputs in the settings and make those work for basic movements and attacks, but i would need to add a few extra things to fully make it compatible for controllers.

Sry if this rambling is kinda messy but they are the first idea's that come to mind how i would make the game playable for controller!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS!! I would have never thought about making it playable for controller if you wouldn't have helped me!!

You said you had more advice/thoughts so if you want to please share!! Any advice is be insanely helpful!

[thegamingcatmom]

I just got back in my twilight phase and discovered your blog, so I was wondering if MC ever got transformed into a vampire in the sisters universe, who would be the one transforming her? I feel like the obvious choice would be tanya, but a part of me thinks that irina trying to kill MC, but accidently turning her would fit the level of unhinged they are. But also if turned into a vampire, how do you think the sisters would react to MC being stronger AND possibly hotter?

In that case:

Welcome to my blog! :3

Right off the bat: Irina cannot be trusted alone with MC at this point in time, that´s true. But it´s not gonna stay like that forever. She´ll come around sooner or later (more later though), so the chances of MC getting turned because Irina actually tried to finish the job are pretty slim. But I can see where you´re coming from and I love that yall´s minds are coming up with possible scenarios for the Unholy Trinity and their, uh...chosen one. 🤭

With that said-

It´s difficult to say who´s gonna turn her, as it depends on everything that leads up to that moment. And it´s gonna be a while yet before we even get to that moment. I don´t plan anything I write beforehand. I simply go with what feels right, so I´ll know who´s gonna turn MC when it gets to that. 😅

However, I´ve been working on a lil something for a bit now (yes, the something that´s supposed to make yall suffer), sort of like an alternate ending to The Sisters. Like, yknow how some games have multiple endings? There´s the good ending, the hidden one, and the bad one.

Well, consider my WIP the bad one. 😅

BUT: It might shine some light into everyone´s motives, especially when it comes to the whole turning thing.

.

As for the sisters´ reactions to vampire!MC?

...I mean-

So, not rly any different from now. LMAO.

It´s true though: They might not realize it yet (well, except for Tanya lol) but, to them, MC´s already-

I´m actually gonna take a page out of Edward´s (well, SM´s lol) book here:

MC´s always gonna be their MC, just a lot less fragile. ;3

Like yknow, I don´t think there´s all that much that would change for them. Ofc it´s gonna be nice when they won´t have to worry about accidently crushing MC when hugging her anymore (Kate´s bear hugs can be rather suffocating, it has to be said), but when it comes to attraction? I don´t think they could possibly be any more smitten with MC. Or else they might actually eat her up, lmao.

So, it´s not gonna be an overly sexual first reaction, if that´s what you´re asking. It´s more like they´re completely in awe of what they´re seeing, almost like they´re not quite sure what they´re seeing is even real. Because, at that point, all of them have been through a lot, right? All those months (perhaps even years, I haven´t decided yet) of madness and longing and arguments and more longing and fighting and some more madness and then longing again and-

By the end of The Sisters, it will have been one hell of a ride for everyone involved. So, seeing everything finally come full circle when their chosen one joins them in their shared forever? I don't think words could truly capture their feelings, tbh.

However, something I find quite funny to think about:

I reckon it´s gonna be MC who turns into the horndog this time, lmao. As a newborn, there´s only gonna be two things on her mind when she first opens her eyes to this new world:

blood

sex

That´s gonna be all she cares about. And, somehow, I think she´s gonna try and go for the latter first because duh, look at that gorgeous wom-

Wait, there´s another-

And another-

Jesus, can you imagine?? Poor MC, completely driven by her instincts. Instincts she just doesn´t know how to deal with yet. Her brain´s gonna melt. She´s gonna melt. This is too much, she is but a newborn-

And the sisters? They couldn´t be more delighted at that display. For them, it´s like watching a baby take its first step. I mean, they´re literally ancient. And MC´s so young, she´s a baby. YKNOW WHAT I´M SAYING??

Sugar Momma mode activated.

KSBJFKASKBFASKF

Honestly though, that´s kinda how I envision it. The sisters are beyond mature, and MC just can´t cope with any of it. She´ll need the sisters to guide her, show her how it´s done. She´ll also need them to soothe that inner beast of hers that keeps telling her stuff that totally contradicts with what she´s actually thinking-

And then MC goes about actually jumping their bones, only for them to-

.

Tanya: "Ah, ah...first we must get that thirst of yours under control, my love."

Kate: "I hate myself for this but, for once, I gotta agree with the spoilsport. One craving now, the other craving later. But God, you´re so sexy when you´re-"

Irina: "As Tanya said...we wouldn´t want you losing your pretty head halfway through and risk half of Alaska´s population being drained by noon, would we, maličký?"

MC, who hasn´t understood a word after "thirst": 🩸👁️👄👁️🩸

.

YKNOW???

But I also kinda HC that, in the world of vampires, with age comes status. All vampires have this inner beast that´s responsible for their more primal behavior and instinctive reactions in certain situations. Such as coming face to face with an elder. And MC´s got three of them.

Lord have mercy on that poor girl. We all wanna be her, let´s face it.

.

.

.

Thanks a lot for your ask! 💋

[hinamie]

The way you draw environments has me in awe. Could you tell about your train of thought or methods? I want to draw inspiration.

thank u so much!! to be completely honest with you I'm still very much in a learning stage in figuring out how i like to do backgrounds and environments. like a lot of artists i spent a long time in Character Standing Against White Bg jail and have only stated moving away from that in recent years. bc i'm still learning, I don't rly have any concrete tips or tricks :'> i'm very much just stumbling through n making things up as i go based on what i think looks good

tht being said i rely /very/ heavily on insp pictures and reference. usually i'll go through pinterest and save a bunch of pictures of environments similar to what I'm going for, then pick and choose elements i like from each to kind of frankenstein my own background together when I start actually painting. bc of this i think if you look too closely some of my composition might be a bit wonky since different parts r reffed from different images but i try to make up for that by being cohesive with colours and lighting.

which brings me 2 the next point !! fr me at least, lighting /sells/ a scene. do i use bright lights as a crutch 2 hide areas I'm less confident in, yes, but i am being 100% genuine when i say tht the entire mood and emotion of a piece can completely change depending on how it's lit. knowledge of what colours look good tgt and how to apply lighting comes with practice and tbh i mostly just wing it after i finish deciding a. what mood i want to aim for (hopeful, intimate, wistful, lonely are some emotions i frequent), where the main light source is coming from, and whether i want the piece to be warm/cold light/dark.

[desire-mona]

your winter layout is SO CUTE how long do these take u

im gonna find a photo of dodie to desire and make my header say smthn different rq ill time it

it doesnt take too too much time bc 1) ive gotten better at it bc i desire so many ppl and 2) the way i make gifs n put sum effects onto the desired pfps is on capcut so i can just. open the file and replace the image. time varies depending on how hard someone / somethings face is to clone stamp out (i do that on picsart + some colour correction obvi)

same with the header i can just change the text and we're all good. however i Have lost the original image in my header so if i lose it im kinda fugged. doing my layout ORIGINALLY took me like an hour i remember bc i rly didnt know what vibe i wanted to go for so i just kinda fucked around until something i liked took shape. the only thing i knew i wanted in my layout from the getgo was the old windows movie maker style thingy on my header, i debated keeping it the normal blue like uhhh hold on lemme find an example

volume warning

i ended up deciding to go with a frutiger metro-esque img bc it looks much cooler + this shade of blue isnt very me

[itsalwaysdark]

future for scientist, bound for cadaver, and monster for both of them? 🤔

future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?

SO unfortunately for scientist i think the worst outcome for her is. achieving immortality FJNFJFN despite that being the one thing shes working towards yk. i think deepdown she knows this but shes still pursuing it bc shes basically in denial abt it... i think her being immortal would rly enhance some of her worst traits. like she already feels disconnected/dofferent/isolated from other people (which is partially why shes pursuing immortality in the first place) but if she got it it would just be. soooo much worse. i truly believe if she did become immortal shed fuck off to like. the most isolated place on earth and shed never talk to another person ever again. Which she might think is a good thing but it absolutely would not be

bound: Has your OC ever been imprisoned or captured? What happened? How did they get out? Did the experience leave any scars?

soo this one is difficult bc cadavers backstory im changing my mind on it majorly atm... previously i did have him being arrested and held in prison for a while and then being broken out/recaptured by scientist but im not sure if i still want all that .. the like. nature of his ... Whole thing has changed a lot since i originally came up with her so im not sure if that still works. like it Could but idk... so this one is a bit of a weird question to answer atm bc i havent fully decided yet... i suppose depending on how much control you view cadaver as having you could say like. living with scientist is imprisonment but i do think if cadaver actually wanted to get out it probably could. SO idk... also scars r also being reconsidered in my mind bc previously i had him Getting scars but now im not sure if that actually makes sense with the healing thing... but the issue is one of the main reasons i made him is bc i think autopsy scars r cool 😭😭😭 so i dont know...

monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?

scientist: YAY so i think scientist has always felt inherently other. but i think meeting cadaver RLY changed her for the worst like. she literally regularly murders another person. and yeah he gets better but you dont just like... even if its not permanent you cant just become ok with killing someone without being a little bit off. yk. i think physically shes human (unless i decide that she Does take on the whole possession thing. constant flipflopping in connorland) but i think mentally she goes from being like. kind of a misanthropic loner to being like. she basically simultaneously views cadaver as an ideal that shes jealous of (bc he has the one thing she wants, and bc she feels a sort of connection w it bc they have like.. similar but different motivations. yk...). and if the only person youve ever felt any sort of similarity to is a corpse possessed by ambiguous force i dont think youre like . you know ...

cadaver: so this is soo fun bc ive actually been considering having cadaver a bit more monstrous like. physically. bc obviously shes not human anymore BUT i think itd be fun if the possession had some physical effects on him... currently he just has the extreme healing/resurrection abilities but id imagine hed probably have some sort of enhanced strength as well. and i just love when possession has a physical component... but yes. EMOTIONALLY i think cadaver is weirdly in denial abt being a monster. like. i think she views the original part of her the one that died as like. the monstrous one. it feels more human now that its possessed bc prior to her death she was like. Somewhat similar to scientist in that she was very isolated but it was less of a choice if this makes sense. like scientist consciously isolates herself from ppl bc she just Assumes that they arent like. sorry im turning this into being about scientist again DJFNJF cadaver go lay at the bottom of the pool or something im busy. but yk she has that like. a view of herself thats seperate from other people/from humanity so she just doesnt bother talking to other people bc she assumes they would never understand. yk. so it is A choice to isolate from ppl (altho she also like..does not have social skills at all. as a result of this choice. so yk...) but w cadaver cadaver was alllways desperate for connection but in a like. rather than searching for One specific like. Unattainable kind of connection he wanted anything. and thats why she was so enthusiastic abt the connection bc it meant there would always be like. Someone. yk. and obv post connection shes a lot more like. confident and Able to make friends despite being physically more disconnected from humanity if this makes sense. so yes. i think cadaver is Literally more monstrous than scientist but i dont think thats how he feels abt himself at all.

link to ask game!

[whitehartlane]

Yap master sham will entertain you: im studying english studies 75% and proto and pre history 25% (basically archeology) and i am SO thinking about moving to ethnology from archeology but i LIKE that and now i went to a little counselor and i CANT do 125% (english 75% + archeology 25% + ethnology 25%) NOR 100% but i do english 50%!!! And I'm truly in a big rush to finish this bachelor quickly because EYEEEE want to do an ausbildung or more likely want to study art part time!! (Maybe distance?) And like... THAT SUCKS! because idk if i wanna change my minor from archeology to ethnology!!! And i think i might just do two ethnology courses for extracurricular ECTs .... But like arggggh!!!!! It's still annoying because everybody tells me to enjoy uni like as in go out and meet people and have fun but I'm truly just here to learn and get a farking bachelor and idk if i should feel bad but i like... I don't see myself having that much fun here 😭 like for me that comes after when I'm done .... Like rn i can pick what i do and where ill live but i feel like im more excited for my life AFTER uni!!??

hello master sham 🫡 now as for what to study i can’t tell you that, i quite like your idea about taking two extra ethnology courses if that’s something that really interests you!! what i do want to do is tell you to do whatever feels right for you. the university experience is different for everyone and highly depends on what you study; some people like the partying and clubbing and going out aspect of it and some people are purely there to learn.

as all things in life it’s good to find a balance. i understand wanting to be done with your bachelor’s as quickly as possible especially if you’ve got plans for after and if you don’t vibe with the people there but from personal experience something that i’ve had to learn the hard way is don’t postpone your joy. some phases of life are difficult or can kind of be nail-biting to get through but it’s rly important to not fall into that trap of ‘yeah after this i’ll probably be more excited/happy’ because that ‘this’ keeps changing and suddenly you realise you’ve put your life and your joy kind of on hold. i’m not saying that that’s what happening with you at all but reading through this i was reminded of that bc i felt just like this!

i think it’s rly important that you find your joy in your day to day life more than anything and that you chase that joy. you absolutely shouldn’t feel bad about having or wanting a different uni experience than others and if your perspective on it is that you’re here to learn first and foremost then that is a perspective that should be valued just like anything else and is 100% valid!! your balance can be found in other places, like doing art or going on walks, it doesn’t necessarily have to be the german culture of parties and meeting people if that’s not what you want to do.

university is mostly also just a time of figuring yourself out on a personal level. what you’re studying, what you want to do, that’s all important—but the person you’ll grow into and become over the course of your degree. for some people that’s really major like figuring out their sexuality but for some people it’s more minor like learning how to make a grilled cheese without setting the kitchen on fire. and in the end this is another phase of your life, everything works out in the end even if it seems like you’ve got no clue what you’re doing in the moment, i promise you that! i rly believe firmly that whatever happens in life is a redirection to something else, so maybe you decide you wanna do eng 50% and archeo/ethnology 25% each and that opens up a path, or you switch to ethnology and that opens up another path, or you stick w archeology and that opens another path. in the end you’ll get where you need to go. there are only doors, no right or wrong things, and the good thing about doors is that you can always go back through them. 🤍

(also small tip from me an der stelle: if you’re stuck between two choices that you feel you want equally then take a coin and decide that one is heads and one is tails. flip it and look at the result. if the first feeling you feel when you see the result is a feeling of dread in your stomach then it’s not the thing you want right now. doesn’t always work but it helps!)

[quinnonimp]

two things. one, your art is absolutely wonderful. i love the warm tones and style. two. got any like. weird art tips. like just weird things you do that work really well. or just art tips in general lol. there's something bout your style that makes me go ':D' lmao

aaaaaa tysm !!!! very glad u like my style <33 means a lot

and yeah id say i have quite a few with the way im very experimental n passionate abt art !

>> i think my weirdest one is rly just the main way i render tbh ? like, as u can pretty easily see with my main art style is that its all very crunchy n pixelated, n thats all cause i have anti-aliasing off for my brush . i render in a pretty unorthodox way but it makes things so so so much easier and more fun for me, even if its more time consuming for several reasons

heres a little bit of an infographic ive whipped up that hopefully u can get smth out of lmao . its 6am ive been up all night drawing as usual so im having a lot of trouble doing things properly sorry sorry

and the funny thing is this is aaaaaaaaall just cause i hate blending and am scared of committing to things (esp colors) so i just decided "okay whatever im gonna be goofy and just make it all pixelated idc anymore" and it worked !! (thanks homestuck) art is sm more enjoyable since i started doing this as it fits perfectly with the way my brain works and its helped me sm with getting better at colors bc of the way i have to do every single color manually (for several reasons like how i have to keep track of every color ((which makes me recycle them a lot more making things look more united)), gradients r the most fun to do but i have to make sure all the colors "blend" together nicely, i get to change them super easily, etc etc)

however these days i HAVE been trying to get back into working with anti-aliased brushes just to get out of my comfort zone n such, but tbh the only thing its helped me with is remind me how much more fun drawing aliased is and how absolutely dogshit i am at blending FDJHJKDF

also it makes me better at minecraft skins since im so used to working with pixels !

>> another little weird thing i have that honestly just goes against basic art rules is experiment by having ur values be as close together as possible without losing contrast . this is horrible as a tip, but fun as an experiment, and for me its just fun since i already know pretty well how values work and have enough experience to break the "rules" - because lot of times good shading colors r actually lighter than the original when put under b&w

so if ur like me i would recommend trying it out ! if u dont even know what values are then this ISNT good for u, do values properly as they really help

>> if u struggle a lot with side profiles, just learn from the gorillaz demon days album art . like literally im not joking that is THE thing that made me learn to draw side profiles and id say im pretty good at them now (however the effectiveness of this probably depends on the style)

and by learn from it i mean u can just trace it with any other characters, or study it, or reference it, yadaydayada . just do wahtever with it, damon albarn dgaf

obviously this isnt gonna magically make u great at side profiles but if u want a fun art challenge or ur a big gorillaz fan like me, it could get u kickstarted !!!! especially if ur doing it with ocs or characters u like that are in a band or something

ok thats all the tips ill be giving out tonight im a little sickly victorian child rn

hope it helped . uhm . bye

[eurydicees]

Ahhh! A Kaiser fanart has been spotted! I simple must know your opinions and predictions for him and Ness!! I didn't are too much for them at first beyond being fun antagonists but now I like them more and more tbh.

HELLO !!!! ok so sorry this took so long to answer, but i have been #Thinking about them soooooo much over the last few chapters. under the cut bc this fell out of control

i also didn't really care too much for them at the start: kaiser felt kinda like a flat antagonist and just kind of. There for the purposes of isagi having someone to compete against, and having someone who was an elevation from rin (who i adore and miss every day and wish was more majorly involved again, but that's a side tangent).

but anyways i have been slowly changing my mind as i realize that both kaiser and ness are absolutely fucking insane??? like. i read some of their dialogue and go ???? there is something deeply wrong with you actually.

it's also rly their relationship that's so interesting to me. like i want to believe that it's not one sided and kaiser does value ness, but it's also getting harder and harder to believe that. i desperately want some backstory as to their time together in bastard münchen before the NEL--like, they had to have some reason to bond and for ness to be so loyal, there has to be something there, right? otherwise why would ness be so dedicated to him?

it's also really interesting to see how kaiser is soooooo obsessed with isagi, and how he's getting rapidly more obsessed with him. like seeing this panel made me a little insane ngl.

(chp 207)

kaiser's growing obsession with isagi is really interesting in comparison to how he's kind of leaving ness behind. i'm curious to see what ness does with that--is he going to hold on even tighter to his bond with kaiser, or is he going to move forwards? it'd be reeaaalllyyyy interesting to see him team up more with isagi and assist some goals there.

i'm also really intrigued by them because they feel almost like a parallel to what reonagi could be if they were a little more codependent and a little more fucked up, yk? like kaiser and ness have this weird dynamic of dependence and loyalty; it's almost hauntingly similar to reo and nagi's dynamic of reliance and trust. like, if reonagi got a little more intense, and if they hadn't split up in the second selection in order to learn how to stand on their own, i think maybe they'd look something like kaiser and ness. it's really interesting to see a way they could potentially be if they dug their heels a little deeper into their original partnership.

i'm really curious--and hope we see--how kaiser and ness formed this partnership and why it's like this. ness' obsession with kaiser and kaiser's more novel obsession with isagi, thus leaving ness behind, is a really interesting triangle. it's also interesting bc of kaiser trying to leave bastard münchen and ness not really being aware of that until the process has started. i'm also really curious as to why ness decided to go to the NEL--surely not the entire team went, just a select few--and what he's hoping to get out of it, or if he just went because of kaiser.

all in all, this has been kind of a disorganized mess of thoughts, but i am really interested in where they go from here. i almost feel like kaiser could, in this game against ubers specifically, begin to fade away and out of the narrative. isagi seems to have decided that he has defeated kaiser already and i'm curious to see kaiser's response. right now, with the "you're finally big enough to eat" line, it seems like kaiser is planning to come back even stronger. but ness seems to be struggling emotionally now that kaiser is turning his attention to a rival (vs a friend, kinda, which is interesting as well). so also interested in ness' response to this power struggle that he's clearly losing, against both kaiser and isagi.

but hm. what do i know. i'm really excited to see where this goes!!!

[caatws]

Honestly there's nonsensical decision making to every single part of how Gamora's role and the guardians as a group have been written when it comes to life after Infinity War. I have been a fan of the mcu gotg since 2014. It was made known back then that the characters would be teaming up with the Avengers for a Thanos focused collaboration. The fact that Gunn didn't plan in advance or make any space to follow up on the potential impact of the collaboration was objectively a poor choice on his part. He wasn't blindsided and as much as I like what he's done in the past this isn't something I'm willing to give him a free pass on. Especially because it was his decision to base the mcu guardians around an abuse narrative. Minimum he should have been prepared for Gamora and Nebula to have some emotions that needed exploring after facing their abuser. Drax too based on his own writing of Drax wanting to take on Thanos. Rocket could be his favorite all he wanted but that doesn't change he included a whole host of characters in his trilogy who are all survivors with stories that would appeal to many people. He's said he wants people to relate to this story and who these characters are. It's asinine not to think about how Gamora's story might relate to people in the audience the way he loves Rocket. Part of being a thoughtful storyteller is thinking about the message that you send with what you put out into the world.

It would take hardly any time at all to sit back and reflect on what it would say to the audience that Gamora had zero funeral, no team moments going over her loss and that most characters are acting like they barely knew what was going on after her death. He knew Yondu deserved better than that and he should have known Gamora did too. It wouldn't have been hard to realize 2014 Gamora needed real development and closer relationships with the guardians because the story of the guardians is what he chose to write.

I'm not saying James Gunn is a bad person. I'm saying he had years to know where the guardians were headed when it came to Thanos. He knew he created a backstory of traumatic experiences related to Thanos for 3 of his core characters. He put effort into giving Yondu a proper funeral and still went on to do more that demonstrated he was important. He knew about and signed off on Gamora having very little character development as a result of Endgame. He was given the opportunity to do more with the guardians when it was decided there would be a holiday special. Even with all of this in place the best he could do was what we saw for Gamora in vol 3 along with zero mention of any characters beside Peter having lasting emotional effects from Infinity War and Endgame. I'm pretty sure that if I was still in school and turned in an assignment like vol 3 under these same circumstances, I would have received a failing grade. It's also wrong to make an open ending and then go online and pretend it only has one meaning when it comes to Gamora having one real family.

yeah, i think gunn either had less control over what happened in iw/eg than he let on (but then didn't want to change his vision for the final installment of the gotg trilogy being a rocket story) or he was just a lot more unserious about this stuff than i originally thought.

i think his favoritism toward rocket and yondu (cuz bestie rooker) were still present in vol 1 and 2, but it still meshed well with the ensemble stories going on bc there wasn't rly a reason to give any of the other characters more focus or detail than rocket or yondu back then. every character was on equal footing, in a way. but come vol 3, when everyone's lives and the established "normal" from vol 1/2 have been completely upended (plus add an extra 6-10 years of offscreen stuff, give or take, depending on the character), this approach no longer works. even bestie rocket's arc still suffers the consequences of this by not rly including or even acknowledging how those 5 years without his friends and family would've affected him.

i'd long gotten used to this uneven storytelling between characters in the avengers franchise, where the ensemble films often felt like The Steve And Tony Show(TM), which was part of why i appreciated the gotg films, since it felt like they didn't fall into this weird fake ensemble category. i still think vol 3 is a solid ensemble film, but it's definitely the gotg film that most starts to veer into unbalanced territory where the avengers films reside

and i know gunn wanted to try to tell le epic self-contained story or whatever, but like, it's the 3rd film in a franchise and we last saw these characters 4 years ago with the avengers in a totally separate franchise. treating it like it exists in some vacuum that makes it friendly to viewers who've never heard of the mcu in their lives or something is honestly just gonna make it more confusing than not and perhaps even frustrating for MOST viewers

[idledreams4]

if i may talk abt warrior cats names with u….

i was looking thru the official name list and thought maybe mousekit for carl? since like u said he’s p small and quiet, the precious kind as a kid. but Also like u said, he changes so v much within just a few short years so that rly wouldn’t fit him as an apprentice. BUTTTTTT (and obv u do Not have to use this) what abt ‘steel’ as a prefix??? :O

if u want to change his name post-scarring maybe hollow, jagged, vacant, chasm, etc etc for either prefix or suffix tbh. def depends on who’s giving him the name. could go for a lostface sitch and totally decimate his self esteem more than it already is. even if it was rick renaming him…… in canon rick has an,, odd relationship w carl’s eye so i wouldn’t say it’s out of the question that he’d do smth kind of off-kilter like give carl a not so positive moniker

thank you so much for mousekit. I was also going through the prefix list, but it just like never occurred to me how perfect that is. thank you so much anon

mkgfls;jdfkjdfk Hollow was the prefix that was speaking to me most so I love that it was on your list too, I just couldn't decide on a suffix that I liked with it. After revisiting, I think I like Jaggedscar. but I also think I can be meaner. I keep coming back to Hollowface and I think maybe that's gonna be the one.

and yeah, with Rick renaming him, that was also my thinking. We all know he can be a prick, especially to the people he cares about. And I also like to make the kid suffer myself on occasion (its enrichment) so I was definitely leaning toward something a little less positive.

I'm pretty sure Rick would also only be naming him like right before Carl dies, so Michonne can't even change it for him after Rick disappears

is it cruel? yes. do I care? well, also yes because I hate that Carl had to die in the show and aparently I've decided we're doing tv universe instead of comics, but if I have to suffer so does everyone else

anon if you have any suggestions for any other characters' names: I'd love to hear them!

[whoreadsnowadays]

You know the typical scene where the Hero has to convice you to stay away from the danger, to take shelter or something? That there's no other option or no more argument about it; and then s/o pull from his plaston (chest) and kiss him on the lips, with an explosion in the background. "You better come back." They say firmly, to not cry. Rise! Turtles reaction? Think that It might be their FIRST KISS❣️

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS DUDE I LOVE THIS PROMPT SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEA- I rly took this and ran with it so they're a little long lol but GOD I LOVE SM

Honestly it's written like a one-shot and I could've absolutely changed the formatting, but I'm writing this under my desk in the middle of class I'm not takin any chances by taking longer :[

-

Warnings: mentioned character death, cussing, general angst, pls lemme know if anything else should be warned !

( Romantic ) Rise ! Turtles x Gender Neutral Reader

-

"Come Back."

The explosions are loud behind you, you can barely think past the sound and the flashes and feeling of the ground shaking beneath your feet.

You look at him, trying not to let your anxiety show. His brothers have already moved towards the fight, but he stayed back a bit, for you.

It's obvious that he's not going to be left behind for long, he knows he's needed, and so do you.

"..I'm coming with." You decide, standing up straight with shaking legs.

His expression contorts into one of pure horror. An emotion you had never seen from him.

You step forward, determined to stride past him into the fray, but his hands on your shoulders stop you.

- Raph -

He looks like he's about to break down in front of you

Sure you've seen him scared before, smelled him scared before too, but this? This is different than a simple spider in the kitchen, this is serious. This is life or death.

"Please don't. Please. I can't- I'm already risking my brothers- my family.. I can't risk you too."

"Raph-"

"You don't know how to fight! All you know is simple defense moves- this is big! Really big! I can't- you can't go, you can't, please don't-"

It hurt to listen to him like this. It hurt to see him slowly crumble in front of you, so obviously scared for everyone around him.

You made a decision then and there, hoping that it was the right one

He stared down at the ground in front of you, still begging with you not to go, when suddenly your hands were on his face and your lips were on his.

Oh.

You pulled back, tears streaming down both your faces.

There was a moment of silence between the two of you, before you sniffled and nodded resolutely.

"You better come back." You demand of him, voice shaking as you slowly step back to let him go.

He takes a big deep breath and nods, slowly moving away from you as well.

"I will."

And then he's gone, and you're left to hope.

- Donnie -

He looks at you with a barely contained scowl

He's holding your shoulders as tight as he can, and you can feel him shake as he does so.

"You're going to get yourself killed."

His voice is as level as he can make it, trying so hard not to collapse into a panic attack.

"Donnie-" you try to protest, your voice displaying every intense emotion you were feeling at once, and that about broke him

"No! No you can't come with us! You can't fight, it's too dangerous for an on field medic, you're going to get yourself killed!"

"What about you?! What if you die?! Huh? What if your tech malfunctions, or they rip off your battle shell and leave you defenseless? What then!?"

You practically yelled in his face, and he simply gaped at you as you did so

You felt bad as soon as the words fell from your mouth, and you couldn't help the tears that fell as you glanced down to the ground between the both of you

"I.. I'm sorry D, I-"

And then he was kissing you.

Leaning forward and holding your shoulders even tighter than before. He was kissing you like his life depended on it.

You gaped at him as he pulled away, staring at you with unshed tears in his eyes.

"I'll be careful. Extra careful. I.. I'll be back, and we can.. do whatever you want. Okay?"

You stared at him for a moment, before a teary smile found its way onto your face.

"Okay. Yeah."

He nodded shakily, slowly letting go of your shoulders before taking a step or two back.

He gave you one last look before he flew out of sight.

You took a breath and nodded resolutely, turning when you heard the terrified screams from the new york civilians.

You couldn't be on the front lines, but, you decided, you could handle crowd control.

- Leo -

You can tell he's struggling with himself, trying to decide what route to take in this situation

Normally you'd give him time to think over his words, knowing his brain worked a little too fast sometimes

But now there was no time to think.

"Leo I'm coming with, I'm not letting you guys go by yourself. I can't.. I can't let you go by yourself."

Leo met your gaze and seemed to come to a decision, giving you a small smile.

"We'll be okay. You just have to trust us yeah?"

"How do you know that?"

"I just do-"

"No you don't Leo! You don't know!" You exclaimed, causing his smile to fall right off his face

"You have no idea what's about to happen! and I need to be there in case you all-!"

He panicked and reached for your face, pressing his lips to yours in one quick movement

The action stunned you into silence, and you watched as he pulled back, a little surprised with himself.

After a moment of nothinh, he gave you another smile, obviously forced, but trying so hard.

"We'll be fine. Me and the others are just.. we're out for patrol? Yeah? And we'll be back before you know it."

You blinked at him, before slowly nodding, playing along with his ploy to calm you.

"Okay. Okay, I'll.. see you when you get back" you mumbled, and his smile became just a bit more genuine

"Yeah. See ya." And then he was turning, rushing off to catch up with his brothers, as you turned away from them all, forcing yourself to believe Leo's obvious lie.

They'd be back. And you'd help them if they.. just so happened to have a few injuries from, "patrol"

- Mikey -

He stared for a second before pulling you into a tight hug.

You hugged back as tight as you could, and you both mutually felt the other shake in your arms.

He buried his face in your shoulder, mumbling his words almost inaudibly

"Please don't, I can't stop you but please don't." Hearing his broken voice made your tears finally fall

"I.. If I don't come then you might.."

"It won't help if you do!" He exclaimed, squeezing you even tighter.

"I want you to come and be there, I want to be able to see you at all times, but I'd only be putting you in danger!" He sobbed, lifting his head to look at you.

You watched as he broke down in front of you, begging you to understand why you couldn't come with.

But the only thing you could really think of is how much you loved him. And how little time you potentially had left.

You slowly raised your hands to his face, staring into his eyes as he slowly quieted under your gaze

You leaned forward, pressing your lips to his as softly as you could, trying to portray every ounce of love you felt for him.

He stared at you with stars in his eyes as you pulled away, a small smile forming on your face despite it all

You'd give anything to just pluck him away from all this, but unfortunately, that was impossible.

"Okay." You mumbled, nodding once.

He sniffled, reaching up to wipe his eyes before meeting your gaze again and nodding back.

"Okay."

And with one final squeeze, you pushed him off of you and towards his brothers, giving him a reassuring smile as he ran off into the battle.

He'd be okay. And so would you. You'd have a happily ever after if it killed you.

[umepnnn]

welp i changed my mind again.

i think jaewon is an aquarius rising 🤣🤚

— a brainrot turned analysis.

"not long after lily closed her eyes, finally deciding to go to sleep at ~9am, a thought flew by, saying 'jaewon could be an aquarius rising which makes him a libra moon instead of a cancer rising with a scorpio moon.' 2 hours later, she's here writing down these lines after trying to analyze his birth chart with this newly "assigned" rising sign by her."

disclaimer ➤ brainrot, i don't know his actual personality. these are just my thoughts based on my perception of him and my own understanding of astrology, may not be accurate.

funny thing: i checked the synastry chart between me and him (assuming he's an aqua rising) after realizing the "fear of disillusionment" i have with his image. extremely not surprising: my neptune is in his first house. explains a lot why i fantasize about him so much, in a way that i idealize him into the image i'd like to believe in :<

note: info on birth time, ascendant, house placements, and moon placement are unreliable.

here is his natal chart generated using a random time during the hour when aquarius is rising (to make him an aqua rising in the chart since i think he is one and i want to see how it places the houses with signs)

his aquarius ascendant

❝ 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞. ❞

— ONE 2021, Numéro Magazine.

i wonder why i was so blinded to his eccentricity (accepting all reasons except my neptune in his 1h)

at first glance, he looks detached and somewhat aloof, but then as aquarius is an air sign - he is quite sociable and easy to get along with (+ moon in libra)

appearance-wise, he's got tattoos all over his arms and body, on his chest, abs. as someone who has 20/20 vision, i am absolutely offended of how blinded i was. HE WAS ALWAYS SO EXPRESSIVE WITH HIS UNIQUENESS WHERE WERE MY EYES AT

and he dyes his hair so often too

he has this androgynous fashion style. he doesn't presents himself pertaining solely to a gender - he's fine wearing vest and all but also makeup, dresses, whatever. he's free in the way he presents himself

he doesn't limits himself to just one genre or to any type of box

very very innovative mind and unorthodox way of thinking

eccentric, unique, independent, rebellious, weird, different, quirky, him, free

he's literally everything but typical 😩😩😩✨

the conjunction between his uranus (chart ruler as an aqua rising) and neptune also highlights this aquarius nature of his a lot. they go hand in hand amplifying their effect on each other: uranus makes him rebel n unique in his creative pursuits while neptune adds an artistic touch & thirst for displaying his eccentricity

jaewon did this interview recently and i think it shows a lot: read here. i will also be quoting his words in this post <3

planets placements

while a cancer rising places his planets mostly on the right side, an aquarius rising does the opposite and places his planets on the left side, which i find it to be more true

i think he leads his life more than he lets himself be influenced by others in making decisions

he used to be an artist at YG entertainment until he decided to not "want to be a part of another entity" – as he made his own one-man agency where he is the CEO: PRIVATE ONLY.

literally in the interview he said he "wanted to be able to be free and responsible and accountable only to [himself]"

what in the aquarius

plus when he's a cancer rising, the aquarius traits in his chart is not really highlighted so it doesn't make as much sense to me

pisces mercury in 2H - his voice is SOOOOOOO 🌱soothing 🌿

his MC in scorpio or sagittarius

his 10h is in scorpio there but his mc is between scorpio and sagittarius, it rly depends on his actual birth time - which i don't know so i'll take both signs into account as for now

he is sooooo secretive and mysterious online (scorpio) his fans have almost no idea what he's doing how he's doing most of the time

he doesn't post on social media often (scorpio) but he does post and in a very spontaneous way (sagittarius) he does whatever the f he wants with his social media/public image

sometimes he just archives all his instagram posts and sometimes he unarchives them 😭

and this is also evident in how he handles his career: he does whatever he wants really - he started out as a rapper but he also tries out in acting, variety shows, composer, etc. extremely experimental and lots of exploration (jupiter in 10h, possible sagittarius mc)

☺︎︎ ୧ ‧₊˚

with the change from scorpio moon (cancer asc) to libra moon (aquarius asc) i think it fits better but i don't know what to comment on it. i feel like that's all i can say about him since i don't know him personally — his ascendant and midheaven are the only things i get to perceive (he barely even show himself to the public eye 😩)

♪ SOME OF HIS SONGS

lowk advertising haha jk i love his songs. leaving them here in case anyone is interested in how he portrays his uniqueness through music <3

❝ 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞. ❞

— ONE 2021, Numéro Magazine.

© umepnnn 2021 – all rights reserved.