#fully seperate herself from the human part of herself that shes always hated. which is the part that Wants connection and wants to feel

[nomairuins]

future for scientist, bound for cadaver, and monster for both of them? 🤔

future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?

SO unfortunately for scientist i think the worst outcome for her is. achieving immortality FJNFJFN despite that being the one thing shes working towards yk. i think deepdown she knows this but shes still pursuing it bc shes basically in denial abt it... i think her being immortal would rly enhance some of her worst traits. like she already feels disconnected/dofferent/isolated from other people (which is partially why shes pursuing immortality in the first place) but if she got it it would just be. soooo much worse. i truly believe if she did become immortal shed fuck off to like. the most isolated place on earth and shed never talk to another person ever again. Which she might think is a good thing but it absolutely would not be

bound: Has your OC ever been imprisoned or captured? What happened? How did they get out? Did the experience leave any scars?

soo this one is difficult bc cadavers backstory im changing my mind on it majorly atm... previously i did have him being arrested and held in prison for a while and then being broken out/recaptured by scientist but im not sure if i still want all that .. the like. nature of his ... Whole thing has changed a lot since i originally came up with her so im not sure if that still works. like it Could but idk... so this one is a bit of a weird question to answer atm bc i havent fully decided yet... i suppose depending on how much control you view cadaver as having you could say like. living with scientist is imprisonment but i do think if cadaver actually wanted to get out it probably could. SO idk... also scars r also being reconsidered in my mind bc previously i had him Getting scars but now im not sure if that actually makes sense with the healing thing... but the issue is one of the main reasons i made him is bc i think autopsy scars r cool 😭😭😭 so i dont know...

monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?

scientist: YAY so i think scientist has always felt inherently other. but i think meeting cadaver RLY changed her for the worst like. she literally regularly murders another person. and yeah he gets better but you dont just like... even if its not permanent you cant just become ok with killing someone without being a little bit off. yk. i think physically shes human (unless i decide that she Does take on the whole possession thing. constant flipflopping in connorland) but i think mentally she goes from being like. kind of a misanthropic loner to being like. she basically simultaneously views cadaver as an ideal that shes jealous of (bc he has the one thing she wants, and bc she feels a sort of connection w it bc they have like.. similar but different motivations. yk...). and if the only person youve ever felt any sort of similarity to is a corpse possessed by ambiguous force i dont think youre like . you know ...

cadaver: so this is soo fun bc ive actually been considering having cadaver a bit more monstrous like. physically. bc obviously shes not human anymore BUT i think itd be fun if the possession had some physical effects on him... currently he just has the extreme healing/resurrection abilities but id imagine hed probably have some sort of enhanced strength as well. and i just love when possession has a physical component... but yes. EMOTIONALLY i think cadaver is weirdly in denial abt being a monster. like. i think she views the original part of her the one that died as like. the monstrous one. it feels more human now that its possessed bc prior to her death she was like. Somewhat similar to scientist in that she was very isolated but it was less of a choice if this makes sense. like scientist consciously isolates herself from ppl bc she just Assumes that they arent like. sorry im turning this into being about scientist again DJFNJF cadaver go lay at the bottom of the pool or something im busy. but yk she has that like. a view of herself thats seperate from other people/from humanity so she just doesnt bother talking to other people bc she assumes they would never understand. yk. so it is A choice to isolate from ppl (altho she also like..does not have social skills at all. as a result of this choice. so yk...) but w cadaver cadaver was alllways desperate for connection but in a like. rather than searching for One specific like. Unattainable kind of connection he wanted anything. and thats why she was so enthusiastic abt the connection bc it meant there would always be like. Someone. yk. and obv post connection shes a lot more like. confident and Able to make friends despite being physically more disconnected from humanity if this makes sense. so yes. i think cadaver is Literally more monstrous than scientist but i dont think thats how he feels abt himself at all.

link to ask game!

[animeyanderelover]

Derieri, Diane and Melascula finding a human darling and being protective and possessive over her

Ooh, some ladies from Seven Deadly Sins.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, stalking, clinginess, delusional thoughts, overprotective behavior, isolation, abduction

My little human

Diane

🐍She just can't handle her humans's adorableness without blushing and hiding her face behind her twin tails. Needless to say, she often finds herself a bit embarrassed and sometimes also insecure when she's around you. So Merlin has a giantess pleading her day and night to give her something so that she can shrink to human size and properly interact with you. In her taller form she never gathers the courage to interact with you out of fear that you might be scared of her. In her shrunken form though, Diane gathers this lacking courage she doesn't possess in her giantess form and seeks you out without any problems. She's a very energetic young lady with a certain charm to her, she is very optimistic. If you look down or are in any bad mood, she'll do her best to cheer you up somehow. She hates seeing you sad and she actually gets quite mad if you remain depressed and starts throwing here and there a little tantrum.

🐍Diane is really clingy and always wants to follow you around in her shrunken form. She despises loneliness a lot already but with her darling it is even worse. She barely wants to seperate herself from you, if she spends anymore time with you she'd probably become your second shadow. Trying to tell her carefully that you'd like some time alone never ends well. Diane is despite her physical toughness emotionally quite delicate, especially around you, so even having you mention that you'd like to be left alone for a bit hurts her. There are tears in her eyes as she looks at you with a sincere look of heartbreak in her eyes and you rarely manage to resist. The big lady is quite delusional when it comes to you. She loves romanticising every little gesture and word you said to her which leads her to often misunderstanding certain actions you take. Maybe her origins also play a part in this cluelessness. She probably wouldn't even be above genuinely thinking that you two are soulmates of some sort to feed even further into her romanticised dreams.

🐍Yet as the Envy of Sin, Diane is prone to jealousy. Gender isn't even an issue as everyone could be targeted. If you pay attention to someone else or do something she thought you'd only done for her, envy infiltrates her heart. She isn't violent but her emotions definitely get the better off her and she isn't shy of throwing a scene, even if she isn't even aware of it herself. Often she is running away with tears in her eyes but despite her sour mood it is relatively easy to bring her back to her usual self by complimenting her or doing something special for her. Unintentionally, she also tends to look down on you for being a human. You are her treasure and her love, someone she wants to protect fiercely. Unfortunately this can lead her to believing that it is safest for you if she would just stay with you all of the time because there are few things that can compete with her ridiculous strength. Her own confidence in her own abilities additionally trap her into thinking that she could just solve all of your problems, often without fully thinking it through.

Derieri

🔶​Derieri is going to be in denial of her own feelings for quite a while. She doesn't have the best opinion about your kind so her own beliefs up until now are challenged by her growing feelings. She'd rather rip her seven hearts out and nail them on the wall then ever admitting that as her own pride prevents her from doing so. She interprets her feelings as weakness yet she can't prevent what has already been set in motion. She is such a Tsundere to be honest but her tough and rough exterior doesn't stop her from stalking you quite a while without ever being noticed. She is grumpy and even if she is quite taciturn, Moonspeed can see that something is bothering her. Not that she'll tell him, at least for now. Instead she lashes a bit out on him, hissing at him to leave her alone. She's so grumpy and her inner conflict worsens her furious temper as you essentially become a trigger for her to fall into rage.

🔶​Definitely on the protective side and you being but a mere human makes this even worse. She is openly viewing you as a weak and helpless creature that needs protection and even if she is a demon and probably would elicit fear out of you if you would ever catch sight of her, she takes over the part of protecting you. Honestly, she feels like demolishing the landscape whenever she sees you being in danger but she does now that she shouldn't just storm blindly out of her hiding spot. It's too early for her to expose herself to you just yet. Derieri is far more merciless than Diane as she will murder anyone that endangers or harms you without any second thought. Despite her feelings she hasn't grown soft after all. She feels no real regret either about her actions either because what she kills now will never get a chance to hurt you again. You should know though that she is silently cursing you for your own weakness too at times because she can't even fathom how you get yourself in such peril sometimes.

🔶​She gradually comes to terms with her feelings for you and that gives her the necessary emotional stability to show herself to you. That automatically means that she will abduct you as soon as she has revealed herself to you even despite your pleads and tears. I'd say that Derieri is on a lucid spectrum though, in regards of her emotions at least. At the same time she sees the whole situation in a rather nonchalant light. She's come to terms with her emotions so nothing is really stopping her anymore. Surprisingly the demon is somewhat considerate around you though because of you being a human and because she can at least understand that most people would freak out if they were in the same position as you. That won't stop her from having a small and frustrated outburst when you push her buttons for too long though. Her words are sharp and rude without much consideration and she might destroy something in her close vicinity out of frustration, reminding you promptly of her strength.

Melascula

🌫️​Honestly, good luck with Melascula. This demoness will have an almost hysterical reaction upon initially recognising her feelings as something more. She always looked down on humans her entire life and she could never imagine ever falling in love with someone. It feels like a betrayal against the Demon King and since she has always been loyal, her head feels like splitting apart. Chances are that she summons a few weaker demons and tells them to kill you as she herself doesn't want to bother but she always ends up having a change of heart in the last moment. She either summons them back or kills them if they don't listen to her or even go as far as attacking you. Prepare yourself to get abducted quickly without even knowing what is going on as darkness one day just wraps itself around you. You wake up only to see Melascula's face and as much as she tries to appear reserved, calm and in control, you can almost see the hidden disgust behind her dark eyes.

🌫️​Living with her is literal hell as she switches constantly back and forth between actively ignoring you and not paying attention to your needs or mocking you and gloating about herself in front of such a weak human as yourself with an almost sadistic grin on her face. Melascula is bullying you, mistreating you or neglecting you most of the time and you don't know even why. Perhaps it's just because she just is like this but you couldn't be more wrong about it. In fact her feelings for you have gotten worse so by ridiculing you and treating you as terrible as she does, she tries to convince herself of your uselessness and weakness. At the same time she experiences intense jealousy and outrage whenever you beg for her to release you because you miss your family and friends. She just can't understand why you'd cling to them. What is so special about them anyways?! She's part of the Ten Commandments! Why aren't you seeing her as something special?! Why aren't you feeling honored that she even keeps you alive?!

🌫️​Her tactic changes after a while. She seems to be nicer and acts sickenly sweet and it creeps you out. You'd even prefer her just treating you like before instead of actually attempting to be kind. At least her definition of kindness which still includes you being forced into everything just so she can do what she wants to do with you. Suddenly she is extremely touchy and that can range from light pats to a tight grip when you annoy or disobey her. She despises disobedience from your side because she as a demoness is obviously above you so you should do as she says. She has punishments in store for you and whilst they would never include any physical harm because she doesn't want to ruin or damage your beauty, she's always punishing you mentally. Differently from Diane or even Derieri she never lets you leave the place she prepared for you so your mentality will be shot after some time just being around Melascula. Because despite her cute appearance, this woman unleashes utter destruction onto anything that might endanger you or even threaten to prevent her from owning your heart.

[poisonousquinzel]

https://lady-ha-ha.tumblr.com/post/160715688748/is-that-comic-before-the-reboot-and-which-one-is

(I have not read this comic) Is this true? (if so, ivy deserves someone better).

Post

Kay, first off both of those people are Jarley shippers so take everything they say with a grain of salt and then some, cause no. that part isn't about how much Harley loves Joker and will always choose him over Ivy. Literally you can tell ops don't know what they're talking about cause her whole thing in those issues is going to kill him for years of graphic abuse but ultimately falls back with him once she’s face to face with him.

Like wow, congrats on missing the fucking point again but not surprised from people who ship her with The Fucking Joker.

also, ffs, can anyone please have basic comprehension skills and realize that Harley and Ivy are both fucked up sometimes because they’ve got issues and that’s not comparable to Joker’s long ass history of graphic and disgusting abuse.

Harley and Ivy are villains, they're not a wholesome cookie cutter, White Picket Fence, super vanilla ship with no bad moments. They're both bad guys with a fuck ton of trauma that they both have to work through, and have done so at this point. 

Gotham City Sirens was published between 2009 - 2011, Harley and Ivy weren't blatantly romantic at this point nor had they had anywhere near the development that they’ve had at this point.

Like don’t go into Harlivy content expecting them to be the perfect wlw rep with no flaws during their arcs from BTAS to current time cause that’s just not realistic. They’re both deeply flawed people who’ve got a fuck ton of trauma that they need to (and have) worked through. 

I have talked about the BTAS issues here and this post is good at explaining them too. 

X

X

Harlivy is not and has never been a purely wholesome, goody-goody ship. They’re messy, they have issues, and they have bad moments sometimes, but they both worked through their seperate trauma and came out stronger and better because at the end of the day, they care about each other. 

Harlivy has messy, toxic moments sometimes, but they’re not, and have never been, abusive. There’s a difference between unhealthy moments and a ship being abusive. 

That’s completely different to how Joker acts Constantly, because he does not care that his actions towards Harley are abusive, because he doesn’t give a shit about her. 

He enjoys hurting her. He enjoys ruining her. 

Jarley has always been intended to be written and shown as a domestically abusive relationship.

This is also the first instance where it's directly referenced that there's something more than platonic between her and Ivy, other than the reference in Batgirl Adventures. 

Gotham City Sirens is also not connected to any verses.

This didn’t happen in the timeline we’re in rn with Harley Quinn (2014)/(2016)/(2021).

Comic timelines and shit are stupid and make everything more confusing and awful and I hate it sdfjdksksdkjsd

-

this is gonna be a long post since ops wanna just cut and paste random bits of the issues like jarley stans always do (cause jarley never has good moments that aren’t entirely surrounded by him abusing her) I’m going to show them in full context. *added a keep reading cause it is a lot

(All panels shown are from #15, #18, #19, #20, #21, #23, #24, #25)

So, Harley's entire thing at this point in the GCS comic in that she's been triggered by flashbacks of Joker's abuse and she breaks into Arkham with the intent to kill him.

The entire thing in these issues is showing her smarts and how she knows people's trump cards to get under their skin so she can break into Arkham. 

She’s trained to identify these things in people and she's fucking good at pushing people's buttons. 

this is also just one of my fav Harley covers so I wanted to show it jsdjksdks

“Trump cards. Everyone has one. Places where the armor we build around ourselves is weakest.” 

She’s right. And it’s now shown that Harley’s willing to use those below the belt trump cards if she has to.  

And frankly, I’d say this is worse than what she says to Ivy. And I’m not surprised she did it. She didn’t want to, she tried to get him to just open the door - 

“Don’t make me do this, Aaron. There are some secrets that should stay hidden. Things you should never learn about your own life.” 

but she’s also entirely fueled by rage and the desire to kill Joker. She came here for a reason and she’s not leaving until she’s done it.

“I’m going to kill you. For everything you’ve done to me. All the times you’ve made me feel useless and small. For all the times I will never forget. For all the things I can never forgive. All the memories -”

“Hello, Harley. I’ve missed you.” 

“Memories. That’s all I have left. The past is gone and all I have is... memories. 

Memories.

Memory. 

Gone.

I guess I too have a trump card.”

“Oh, Ivy. You know exactly what my answer is going to be. But you’re hoping you’re wrong, aren’t you?”

She’s also right about this, they already mentioned this in #18.

“How did I become the bad guy?”

“You’re the one choosing a man over her girls.”

“Are you kidding me? You would never say that to Harley, and we both know she’d dumb us in a flat second if Joker called her.”

“Hey! That’s not fair-- Actually, that’s probably true.”

“The difference is, she can’t help it. You can. And she’s working on it. You’re not working on it.” 

“Too easy, Ivy. Too easy. I know your weak spots. Now I just need to push.”

This is exactly what she’s been doing since the starting point of this post. She’s still in that mindset and she knows she can’t beat her on a regular battle field. Neither of them can. 

“Like I said-- You beat me in any level playing field. But I don’t fight on those fields.” 

Harley’s biggest strength as a villain is her ability to completely mentally stall her opponents and learn their weak spots. She wouldn’t win against the majority of the Big Bads if she didn’t fight on a different field than they are. 

so, like yeah, out of context what she says to Ivy seems awful and completely screwed up, and it is, but it’s also built up really well and it’s completely in character for her at this point in her fall during these issues. 

Is what she did fucked? absolutely. It’s not painted that it’s not. 

Ivy Literally Goes To Kill Her For It.

In the end of this all three of them are recaptured by Catwoman and Batman and that’s where we’re starting off at again. 

“Oh, Harley.

The only human I’ve ever called a friend.

To what lengths will I go? Where are my own limits? She is the Strangler fig. And I am the tree, choking underneath. 

Without me, she could never grow. 

But without her, I would fall if I grew too tall.” 

“Will she ever stand by herself? 

Will she ever be ready? 

She is in throes of madness. She sees him, her brain flooding with adrenaline, it makes her excited, nervous, then the feelings start to fade, and she needs more. And more. 

She sees it as passion. She sees it as love. 

But it’s not. It’s addiction. And she’s relapsing.” 

Ivy is well aware of the nature of their relationship. She’s not stupid and she’s been shown already to know that it’s something that takes time. It’s not a one off break up and it’s over. That’s not how abusve relationships work. 

What do I do?

I could use my pheromones to alter her brain chemistry.

I could leave her behind abandoning her to the wilds of her own mind.

I could kill her right now.

Show her how red Nature can be.

There's one other option.

It would require patience.

Even love.

Maybe I'm more human than I want to admit.

"You have one chance to answer this."

I know, if she agrees, she'll be doing it for revenge. For him.

"She put us behind bars."

But maybe if I get away from this place, if I give her something else to think about. Maybe she can break the cycle. But it has to be her choice.

"I'm going to kill her. Come with me."

So yeah, it’s definitely not a just “Harley hurts her and runs off with Joker and it’s just a plain ol’ her choosing him over everyone and that’s that.” 

Jarley shippers love to just reduce all her scenes and arcs down to their “epic love” and shit, but that’s taking away literally everything about her and reducing it down to the 3 panels that they’re “cute” in. Her arc in this part is fucking heartbreaking to read.

And Ivy damn well knows what’s going on with her. She’s smart and she’s the one that’s been there throughout all of this. She found her in the park after he shot her out of a rocket. 

And she knows it’ll take time for Harley to get over and through his manipulation, that’s just how it works with abusive relationships. 

But she’s also not forgiving at first, she’s mad and rightfully so, until she sees the sate of Harley’s cell and realizes how bad her addiction is at that time.

A lot of the unhealthy moments on Harley’s side when it comes to them are directly caused from the effects of being in an abusive relationship with Joker. Because she’s always in this area of her journey in those moments. She’s never fully over him or emancipated. 

And that’s realistic. It’s hard sometimes to be friends with someone who’s in abusive relationships like theirs, having to watch them return to that person time and time again and it’s frustrating after a while. 

I know from personal experience, it’s really hard to watch someone you care about go back or forgive someone that continues to hurt them. 

But abuse victims desperately need a support system outside of their abuser. It’s a crucial part of being able to escape, because when they do try to get out they need someone there or they’ll literally have no where to go but back into their abuser’s arms.

It’s heartbreaking and it’s really rough for everyone effected, but that’s just how it is most of the time. Especially in their case, as they’re not just regular folk dealing with this. 

If she doesn’t have Ivy, Harley has no one else to go to but Joker, on more than just an emotional level. 

She’s lost her job. Her income. Her home. Her livelihood. Her everything.

Most of the time she has no other choice but to return to a life of crime after she’s released from Arkham because she can’t get a job, she’s a notorious criminal and she’s got a lot of issues that don’t just disappear with a bit of therapy. 

She has no other choice but to return to Joker because the other alternative is the streets. At least she knows what to expect with him. 

And that’s not even getting into the manipulation, gaslighting and degrading abuse that he drills into her constantly. 

He’s made her believe she’s not anything without him. That she’s not smart or useful or anything. 

And that’s why it’s so damn important for her to have a support system and why he’s so damn against Ivy. 

Because Ivy is the good voice on her shoulder telling her he’s wrong and that she doesn’t deserve that. 

-

And on Ivy’s side, she’s aware she gets very near cutting off all parts of her humanity. 

She’s a plant goddess, she’s insanely powerful and she feels everything through the green. Frankly, she’s not even on the same playing field as these villains. She’s significanty more powerful than Harley and Joker. 

Her connection to Harley is what keeps her humanity in tack, because despite everything, she does care about her. She was the first person she let in, the first person Ivy called a friend. 

The person that was able to get through to her in #14/#15 when she was losing herself. The one that was able to get through to her that the dude was manipulating her. 

“Ivy, I know you think you love this guy... but you’re just gonna end up strapped to his rocket!”

She had to knock her out for the dude to trust her / not attack them anymore. But Harley got through to her by mentioning how they first met in the park when she saved her after Joker shot her off in a rocket.

And Ivy is understandable turned off towards humans considering her origin and trauma around that. 

She’s got a lot of trust issues.

But both of them work through their seperate traumas over the years because their affection for each other is stronger than the issues their trauma has given them.

-

and also, sometimes, they just have shit writers. that’s an issue overall in comic fandoms. Some writers just fucking suck at getting any of the characters right, let alone LGBT characters, who’re notoriously treated like garbage by DC. 

[fuckingdeadbutroyal]

Jasonette July-Soulmate AU- Part 6

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 

!Warning! Explicit mentions of death! Read cautiously. 

Meanwhile in the akuma-shelters:

It has been close to a week now. The shelters weren’t properly equipped to supply so many people for such a long amount of time. Luckily it did have enough food and water, with the stocks having just had their yearly refill of canned food and drinkable water coming from the tap. There weren’t enough beds though. The worst thing weren’t the beds though. Ther shelters wanted to lower the risk of specific inanimate objects to function as an akuma.weapon, so the interior designers made sure he shelters kept nothing for entertainment. Lack of entertainment could be destructive to any persons mind, but paired with the ongrowing fear and grieve the citizens had to deal with? It was dangerous.

The people knew how to fill there time though. It was something us humans have always loved to do: Fight for structure and destroy anything in our way to gain control. That’s why some shelters have formed a hierarchy, with either the loudest or the physically strongest standing on top of the food chain. 

One shelter in particular believed the akuma had caused the end of the world, which was mainly because of the alley it was positioned on being isolated by Ladybugs third Lucky Charm. She had used it to try and capture the akuma when he tried to destroy  the shelter he felt personal hatred towards. Hawkmoth knew that it was caused by the now akumatized homeless man being frequently kicked out of it whenever there was no attack. Long story short, now the place was surrounded by large, high pressure fountains of water reaching up into the sky. (Tikki had clearly gotten desperate.) The only way out was either the caved-in tunnel the akuma had suddenly learned how to make, or a yo-yo/ baton/ grappling hook. Of course, none of the citzens had access to those. So they were stuck and afraid, not knowing anything about the outside world, apart from the fact that Ladybug still hasn’t captured the akuma and therefore couldn’t use her cure.

The people in that particular shelter were very diverse. There was an old couple, a few incomplete families who have lost people to the earthquakes, a group of college students, a group of kindergarteners and a few teachers and classes from Collège Françoise Dupont. 

The akuma shelters were opened in the middle of the day. At first they were timed with the akuma-alerts, but over the years the frequency of attacks has risen, which led to the shelters only being opened on Ladybugs and Chat Noirs request. That has become a rarity, since they only asked for it if there was a chance of them not succeeding. Once they were opened though, the citizens knew to follow a strict protocol. Schools for examples evacuated similarly to firedrills, with the slight change of the younger classes using the shelter underneath the school, while the older classes went for the next one in proximity. Usually the akuma-alert app kept them updated on last sightings of the villains whereabouts. Usually that wasn’t a problem, since most of the time the akumas were designed to attract attention and provoke fear. 

The current akuma was making it difficult, though. He was visible, sure, his actions spoke louder than any other akuma ever has. But you never knew where he was, not unless he was preaching his beliefs to one person in particular, who then had to survive so they could warn the other parisians. No, this time it was much more difficult. Ladybug was giving herself the blame for opening the shelters too late. At first the Dirtbag wasn’t destroying the buildings, just rattling them up a bit and keeping the citizens awake. The duo thought they could handle him, were even convinced they could find him in time, using Chats nightvision. I was only when everyone went about their day the next morining when the monster decided to strike. Hurting someone in their workplace so they would try to find shelter in their homes, before getting killed there or being lucky to find a place in the akuma shelters. A devious plan which lead to many deaths. Marinette hated herself for not figuring it out before it was already too late. She could have taken the precaution, listened to her gut feeling telling her to ignore the civilians complaints and just GET THEM TO BE SAFE. It reminded her of people who insisted on not wearing a helmet while riding their bikes. “Nothing bad has happened yet so why the panic? The drivers are going to look out for me.” and then one bad thing happens and it’s suddenly too late. No going back from not having taken the safety precaution while she still could’ve. 

No calling Bunnix or using second chance. You just have to deal with it. 

Dealing with it. That’s something the city will now have to do. Ladybug swore to herself that if.. no when she finishes this battle, she will immediatly take care of mental health programs and the promotion of health care organisations. Everyone will need therapy. It was bad enough to remember having actually died, but now there was more to it. It wasn’t as temporary as it has previously been. It wasn’t a question of one or two people dying for a timespan of about two hours, sometimes even less. No, it was about a third of Paris and a matter of days. 

The heroine was terrified of her magic maybe not being enough. 

She didn’t voice that thought to Tikki, not wanting to insult her abilities. Apart from that the girl knew her Kwami, she knew that if she were to share her fears, the other would shower her with love and support and probably even pity. It mostly wasn’t a bad thing, but Marinette knew she would brake down in tears if she were to let any soft emotions in. She just couldn’t afford to break down, couldn’t afford to give in to her emotions or the pain would ovetake her, numb her and lay her down in an episode that could seperate the parisians from their heroine. No, Marinette couldn’t think of how her decisions led to her parents death, she could not hink of how her decisions led to half her class being killed ~ by their school collapsing onto them the very moment they stepped out of the schoolgates on their way to the shelter. She could not remember Julekas face when she couldn’t free her girlfriend from the rock that was kepping her legs in place. Couldn’t think of how Ladybug went to safe Chat Noir instead of lifting that rock of the tiny blond girl who was bleeding to death in her girlfriend arms. Rose and Juleka did not deserve this.

Oh gods Juleka! She has lost everything to this battle. Mari sincerely hoped she didn’t know about what has happened to her home, didn’t hear or even feel how Luka and her mother drowned in the wreck of their own ship...

Juleka wasn’t there to witness it, she was hiding in a shelter. To be specific, she was hiding in the very one shelter Ladybug has isolated from the rest of Paris. You coul call it the safest one of them all, if it weren’t for the person who was hiding in it. 

They say it’s easier to not cut your hand, if you know where the sharp edges are. Well, this shelters sharp edge was shiny, so how could it be dangerous? 

Lila Rossis’ shiny tears could drown her worst enemy and they would still marbel about that glistening beauty.

They say you shouldn’t pour gasoline in a room you can’t escape, a tiny spark could burn, but breathing it in for too long can kill you. Lilas lies were sprinkling into every direction in a room full of people she didn’t know. Her gasoline could meet a spark and burn... It was day six and for now the only danger for her health were the toxins, the acidity of her lies and attention seeking. It was slowly eating it’s way into the truly hurt, dissolving the hope of the ones who were traumatized. Lila would do anything to reach the top. She had no problem with throwing her friends under the bus, just to feel the temporary relief of the breeze  their fall would bring. 

In this situation getting that breeze meant loads of strategy. Lila was coldhearted, yes. She was a neglected child from a toxic household, yes. She didn’t understand love that didn’t come from lies. But unlike others, she didn’t give up on those toxic lectures her life has taught her. Lila was stoic, which meant she believed in her thesis, not wanting to listen to other opinions. Lila was intelligent, which meant she knew how to make her opinion be the only one that mattered. Lila was scarred, which meant she would try everything she could to keep herself from getting hurt. 

But Lila was also weak, which meant she would hurt others before they could hurt her.

--------------------------------------

“This is nice.”, Mari thought to herself. She felt so incredibly comfortable, not a single limb was hurting from exhaustion, she was warm and safe. Breathing was easy, no pressure was pushing down on her lungs. Upon realising that, she couldn’t help herself but take a very deep breath, which later turned into a heartly yawn. “I haven’t slept this good since...oh shit” Her memories came back in a punch. Her breath hitched and started to pick up on pace. Ah there it was, the constant adrenaline mixed with panic, that was keeping her from getting that oxygen she craved. A grumble suddenly made it’s appearance right next to the girls ear and she shrieked fully awake and scrambled away, only now feeling her body as her own and recognizing the position she was in. That fully woke the man who she has just been sharing a sleeping bag with- a familiar sleeping bag, though she wasn’t about to start to decipher that now. Instead she was staring at the man she had just previously met in her dream. And he was staring back, eyes just as wide as hers. She could practically hear him overthinking while she was just...stuck. Usually it would have been the other way around. Mari would blush, scramble stutter and panic her way into an embarrasing situation. Now though? She could see those emotions in that incredibly imperfectly perfecty looking man in front of her. She could see that tiny scar she wore on her eyebrow gracing his. She was blushing, yes, and she felt the shock sit deep in her heart, emotions overrunning her at a pace she didn’t think were possible. That meant a lot, since Marinette was all too familiar with anxiety and sensory overload. But she didn’t freak out. Instead she felt just felt the uncontrolable urge to comfort him, to make his heart stop panicking and instead feel the safety he had given her. Not even secondguessing herself she just lunged into his arms, hugging the man so closely he would never forget that very moment. Jason was still for just a millisecond before he put his arms around her in a just as energetic hug. It was like finally seeing your little sibling after not having seen them for a month. You see how much they have grown, are overflowing with all the emotions, good and bad, you have felt because of them. Suddenly, though, you are loving every one of them. It was like meeting your best friend after they have just told you they were getting into that school they always wanted to or seeing them safe after something horrible had happened in their area. It was pure appreciation, adoration, love. The meeting of soulmates.

It’s not like they haven’t interacted before, after all. They were THERE whenever something bad had happened to the other. They had felt the other grow up, learned what the other has internalized and thought of each other every. single. day, for years. To Marinette it has been her whole life and even though Jason was two years older than her, he has couldn’t remeber a single day passing without her in his mind. 

“Mornin’”, he spoke up first, though his voice wasn’t more than a whisper. 

“Nice to meet you too”, she whispered back, a smile clear in her voice. 

Hearing her voice he couldn’t help but hug her closer, but upon feeling the pain in her ribs he winced and pulled back. She was confused by the sudden movement for just as second, before realising and shaking her head with a laugh. 

“It’s okay don’t worry, I kind of got used to it, living with you and everything...”

While Marinettes heart was swelling up with warmth from the knowledge that this man did really care about her, his was cramping from the proper realization of just how much suffering he must’ve put her through. He saw her throat covered in all those tiny white lines, the fresh blue bruises on her arms. The pain he felt was the same she did. She did not deserve to suffer so much, not at all. Marinette saw him trembling and took his hands. This was very unlike her, not overthinking, being so bold while in civilian form. She enjoyed it. Even more so, she was happy to be able to act this way, since it was clearly necessary for the situation. Jason on the other hand felt like he was crying, letting out a breath he has been holding for too long, finally breathing in after a long dive. He felt so so damn relieved. Her hands in his where so reassuring, so forgiving and apologetic. 

“I am so sorry”, he mumbled, meaning every bit of it.

“Don’t be, those are mine.”, she smiled. Mari knew what he meant and accepted his apology. He didn’t just mean the scars that were currently gracing her skin. He meant the tiny one on her eyebrow, the several broken bones, the bullet wounds that were gracing her thighs and shoulders, the thick scars left by blades and explosions. He meant the pain. And she understood him. His soulmate wasn’t mad at him. Marinette lifted their intertwined hands to eyelevel, the touch so foreign but so familiar. Her rough fingertips touched his, the cuts she has never learned how to avoid while having her late night sewing sessions having healed again. Jason smiled slightly, remembereing just how annoyed he was to wake up to fresh cuts almost every morning. “I always paid you back, after all.” A grin was now gracing her face, a devious glistening lighting up her already vibrant, aquamarine irises.

Jason let one hand go and subconciously rubbed his upper arm, the one they always beat to get back on each other. Marinette giggled again, now being ready to take in more of her surroundings than just that whole world of a person in front of her. It was cold, dark and smelled vaguely of home. Not a good combination at all, especially considering the latest events.

The latest events... Where was she? Why was it so quiet? And why the fuck was she sitting on her fathers sleeping bag?

“Oh no you didn’t.”, her voice was flat. She remembered Chat having been by her side when she collapsed. He must’ve brought them there. The girl turned her head in every direction, looking for him without success.

“Did Chat bring us here? Has he slept? Has he seen me in my civilan form? Tikki where are you?”, her voice was rising in volume, demand and worry more audible than it had been in a long time. The tiny godess flew out of her hiding spot, face contorted in uncertainty. Before she could answer, Jason chimed up: “Yes, he is okay and promised this place to be safe. He did see you and left shortly after. He wasn’t looking like he was about to do something reckless, just said he’d get back to work, so I let him go.” His reaction was kind of weird, to be honest, but Jason hasn’t thought much of it back then. Now he was quite certain that Chat wasn’t supposed to see Ladybug untransformed. The civilian looking girl just nodded and stood up, her mind obviously racing and her eyes flicking through the room. “I really want to leave this place. Are you ready to go?” 

Tikki looked worried and kind of guilty and Jason did’t yet know why, but they had time for that later. They quickly did what they needed to do, which meant restocking on cookies and drinking a lot of water for Marinette and contacting the team for Jason. The soulmates updated each other on the battle while on speaker with the bats. Loads of uncertainties were answered and ideas on how they could proceed were exchanged. Towards the end of it, when the heroes and vigilantes just agreed to meet up at the Louvre and go further from there, Jason suddenly laughed and over to his soulmate. “I just noticed, we haven’t properly introduced ourselfes.”, he held out his hand, a lopsided grin gracing his features, “Name’s Jason Todd, the scariest Red Hood with guns Gotham has to offer”. Marinette laughed, clasping his hand in a firm grasp. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng, also known as MDC and anonymously flying over the city in a skintight suit calling myself an insect.” They shook hands, eyes glistening with humour, both freaked out about the absurdity of that situation. “I’d say I’d wish we’d met under different circumstances, but I gotta admit this-”, the man lifted his other arm, which was currently holding one of his guns, “-is pretty damn epic.”

"It's getting even more epic from here.", she smiled, speaking as if she knew more than she told him. "I have an idea. We need to get an important box from my room. I know It's safe but I haven't moved the debris to retrieve it, yet. Kind of couldn't handle my emotions enough to come here sooner...", realization hit him like a brick. "This is your home? So are those people...this place.. oh Mari I'm such an idiot."

"No, Chat is the idiot. He has been flirting with me in both my forms for literal years and has never once voiced any suspicion on us being the same.” 

“Wait what? He flir-” 

“And now he just takes me to the place we dear but turned out to need most! Maybe he has figured it out and knew I would keep my box here...”, Marinette started rambling and Jason couldn’t help but smile inspite of his irritation. He didn’t understand everything she was saying but she looked so much better than she did on the videos Tim has send to the group. No more exhaustion, way less pain and just such determined hope was seeping out of her every pore. Jason enjoyed her presence, her voice and her words, even though he didn’t understand most of the connections. She was just to lively and cute to stop her. Sadly that vanished pretty quickly. 

Not only has Marinette realised that she has been talking non stop to a man she had just properly met for the first time, but she was already talking about things only she and Chat knew. It was weird, as if he must’ve known them. He was there after all. By her side, in her body, all the time.

They made their way towards her room, passing by a dusty kitchen and a door that probaly lead to some kind of foyer. There was what resembled a living room to their left, but it’s ceiling had collapsed and everything was covered in dust an debris, so it was hard to tell. Luckily Marinette decided to transform before making her way through it, which lead to Jason taking the lead and already going towards the destroyed staircase she pointed out to him. He had turned his back to Mari, not knowing what the transformation consisted of and not wanting to invade her privacy. He saw the walls around him light up pink for a second, but his attention was elsewhere. The closer to the staircase he went, the more rotten it smelled. There was an already dry trail of brownish blood coming from above which lead to...

Jason was happy he was the first one to notice them. He has seen many dead bodies before, has been the reason for some himself. Seeing those people was disturbing though. They were saved as soulmate-knowledge in some deep part of his brain. The fear of her reaction to seeing them was even worse. That’s why when he heard Ladybug approach him he quickly turned around and took her hands and so she would face him instead of the staircase, before she’d gotten the chance to see them.

Marinette, or currently Ladybug, let out a startled “huh” and looked at him questioningly. He only now noticed the slight redness in her eyes and the irritation in her gaze. She was holding back tears and he hadn’t even noticed. What kind of a soulmate does that? “Will you be okay?”, he asked, holding her hand so gently she could pull away without any resistance. It was clear this gesture was meant completly for her and she appreciated it wholeheartedly. It felt so much better, safer than with Chat. She loved her partner and of course she trusted him not only with her life, but also to back off whenever she asked him to. That wasn’t everything that mattered though and Mari was sad she’d only just realised why she was truly comfortable around him. 

Adrien was very touch starved, has been ever since his mother died. So he subconciously tried to prolong every touch he received. No matter if it was when she was handling him something or walking beside him, he was always touching her, constantly trying to hold on, keep her there just a little longer. It wasn’t just clingyness, it was as if he’d zip himself onto her whenever he could. She didn’t blame him for it and often didn’t even mind his affection. As mentioned, he always immediatly backed off whenever she asked him to. Once he even managed to spent a fight protecting her without any physical contact whatsoever. It was much more dificult that way, but she had winced when he jokingly kissed her hand before the fight and he has taken that as a sign to back off. He only allowed himself to come closer again when she’d explicitly allowed him to do so, not wanting to watch him walk around with drooping ears. Still, she rarely enjoyed the contact and almost never initiated it. Not because she didn’t like him, she just didn’t want to get his or her hopes up. Now, looking at her soulmate, she was happy she hasn’t tried anything with Chat. It would’ve only made everything much more complicated than it already was. Of course she could have had a platonic soulmate-relationship with Jason, but considering his looks and his charm Marinette would have considered it a shame not to appreciate who the universe had paired her with. 

“I’ll manage.”, she answered, though her voice was unpleasantly close to breaking. “I’ve got my coping mechanisms, more talking less thinking, though I’m sorry if I annoy you with it I should probably find a new wa-”

Before she could dive into another ramble Jason just shook his head, glancing over her shoulder. She realy should not see them, no coping mechanism is going to delete that image once it’s there. “I’m okay with that, don’t worry”, he tried to smile but gave up when it came out pained. This was not the moment for smiles. Not while he was facing his dead future in-laws. 

“But may I suggest a new coping mechanism?”, he bowed to the girl in front of him, who just tilted her head in curiosity. “What do you suggest, Monsieur?” Once she accepted the invitation he gently pulled her closer, taking his red heltmet that has been previously dangling on his belt, and carefully placed it on her head. She giggled, the helmet was too big on her and she looked incredibly cute. “I think you put it on backwards, I can’t see.”, she stated with a teasing smile in her voice. “Oh I’m sorry dearie, guess I’ll have to help you get up those stairs then”, upon saying that he picked her up and, when he sensed no discomfort from her side, proceeded to carefully climb past the two dead bodies on the staircase. Once they safely arrived in the room above and Jason was sure the Dupain-Chengs were no longer visible, he let her down and turned the helmet into the correct position. ”Feel safer like that?” “Tikkis magic protects me from any possible injuries. But I still like it very much, your air conditioner in this thing is incredible” She turned to him with a smile. “I’ll feel much safer with you wearing it, though.”

Mari took off the helmet and stood on her tip-toes, reaching up to place the red fashion-disaster on his head. “Once we’re done with that Dirtbag I’ll design you a new one. You don’t just look scary, this thing is embarassing me on your behalf.”

“Hey! I designed it myself! But I’ll gladly take you up on that anyways. Tim has only praised you handiwork so far and his face upon seeing me wear an MDC original instead of him is going to be priceless.”

Jasons ear suddenly rung with Tims strained voice asking about MDC and what the fuck he had missed. Jason ignored him, though on the inside he was yodeling with laughter about having gotten Tims favourite designer as his soulmate. 

----------------------------------

Adrien was furious with himself. How could he have brought Marinette to the very home she would have wanted to avoid the most? How did he not notice the intensity of her grieve after her parents death? “I’m such an idiot!”, his scream echoed through the void that once was Paris. He was running towards yet another mansion, the one near the Pont des Arts, and audibly talking to Plagg. For an outsider it would’ve looked like he was talking to himself, or even worse: his suit. Technically he was doing just that, since Plagg had no way of reacting to his words while in this form and Adrien was not ashamed to admit that he liked it much better that way. No moans and dumb jokes while he was talking about important stuff. (He liked the jokes though, Plaggs sense of humour was Purr-ecious, even though admittedly Adrien was the only one to think that.)

“You think so? I think you still being alive is pretty not-idiot like.”, that voice made Adrien stop dead in his tracks, leading to the one who had suddenly appeared running beside him toppling over. Chat took fighting stance, waryily following the person with his eyes. “How the fuck did I not notice you sooner?!” The bright yellow figure, which the cat recognized as the Signal stood up and lifted his hands as if to show they were unarmed, only he was indeed very much armed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m with Batman, so please don’t attack.” Adrien mentally cursed, knowing that the lack of noticing someone as noticeable as the Signal was Plaggs form of revenge on Adriens rambling. “You little shit”, he whispered to the Kwami, who of course did not respond.

“Excuse me?”, Duke was staring at him in slight irritation. “Oh no I’m sorry I was talking to my...suit. It’s a long story. Anyways! It’s nice to meet you Signal! I’m a big fan.”, a smile spread out on the cat, his overall appearance only intensifying the cheshire grin that followed, “My name’s Noir, Chat Noir. I have to say, you look purrfectly nothissable, your suit is pawsomely doing kitts job.”

“Are you a furry?”

“What? NO!”

“I mean there’s nothing wrong with it if you are it’s just the way you speak-”

“I’m not, but thanks for the reassurance, I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.”

The look Signal was giving him was...hard to describe. Adrien was blushing, hard. Of course he would fail at flirting with one of his favourite vigilantes. OF COURSE the Signal would think Adrien was a furry. Marinette had warned him, why wouldn’t he listen?! An awkward silence kept the two boys in place, each looking at the other in uncertainty. Finally Duke decided to break the silence. “So... anyways... let’s get going, I’ll introduce you to the others. We also have some gadgets you and Ladybug could find useful.”

“That’s great, thanks.”

“Just so you know, I’m not judging you-”

“Thanks.”

“- but whenever you’re ready...”

“What do you mea-”

“As Anna from frozen has said: Love is an open door.”

“I get it. Please stop.”

“Sorry.”

With that, the black and yellow pair made it’s way towards the Louvre, with at least something else but the end of the world on their mind.

-----------------------

“How can you be so ignorant? Don’t you know how much Jagged Stones’ son meant to her? You of all people must understand how bad it is to have a loved one die!”

“Alya please, Juleka is still coping, she didn’t mean it that way...”, a crocodile-teared Lila told her servant, though she wasn’t really trying to stop her. Just a few minutes ago they were all discussing the distribution of rations, since the fight has been going on for even longer than they had formerly estimated, which meant a rapidly ending amount of food as well as rapidly growing panic. 

Lila chose that very moment, when everyone sat down, to start audibly weeping. How could she not use such a perfect audience, after all? 

“I’m so sorry I just.... I was trying to keep it together for so long now but then it got so quiet and it all just...”, she wiped her perfectly dry nose on her sleeve,”my boyfriend... Luce, Jagged Stones son you must’ve heard of him...well he died in the first night and I have only just properly processed it...” 

Upon hearing this, a murmur went through the audience. Over 80% of the present people have lost someone to the akuma. Everyone was coping differently, that’s okay. Juleka for example has spent most of her stay either silently sitting or very quietly humming to herself. Whenever someone pulled her back into reality though, her thoughts caught up with her and lead to full blown panic attacks which left her shivering, crying and throwing up in one of the limited toilets the shelter had to offer or outside the doors, which really didn’t help her condition, apart from maybe the higher oxygen rate the street had to offer. 

During the planned meeting, Julleka proceeded to just stay in her corner and humm her melodies, until the words “Jagged Stones’ son” had pulled her out of her trance. Instead of panicking, Lilas claim led to a kind of rage growing inside Julekas chest she hasn’t felt for a long time. 

“Jagged Stones’ son? Are you fucking serious?”, her voice wasn’t loud. Juleka rarely raised her voice. She didn’t need to, it was powerful enough if she wanted it to be. It filled the previously murmuring room with the kind of thunder that left a void behind. Some were holding their breath and for once it wasn’t because they were afraid to provoce the italian girls tears. Not only hasn’t Juleka spoken since her parting from Rose, no, her voice also held the energy of murder, her words intentions promised blood.

The ones who knew her were even more afraid, some held tears n their eyes. Juleka and Rose had a very rare kind of bond. They didn’t have the same abilities or a dependance on each other. Instead their bond was complementary. Where Juleka was darkness, Rose was light. Where Rose was naiv, Juleka was vary. Where Juleka was forgiving, Rose was loud. Where Rose had a voice that could carry for miles, even if she didn’t raise it, Juleka had hearing that could decipher even the quietest sounds. 

It isn’t unusual for a soulmate to carry one of the other ones traits in case of seperation. Some liked the reminder, it made them feel connected to the person they love, even if they were dead. Some couldn’t handle it, not being ready to let go. 

Juleka was somewhere in between when she heard her voice suddenly sound like Rose. She now had both of their complementary powers, she should feel complete, like a full human being. Juleka was happy to hear her loved ones voice again, but she did not in the slightest feel complete. She felt torn. She couldn’t hear her soulmates heart beat anymore. She couldn’t stop thinking of the moment she heard it stop. It stopping was the loudest sound she has ever heard.

Now she had her lovers voice by her side, supporting her in what she was going to say next.

“You are not dating him, shut the fuck up and get your priorities straight.”

That's the very moment all hell broke loose. Of course there were the ones who were smart enough to at least notice that arguing with the musician was dangerous and simply uncalled for, but there were also the already brainwashed ones who believed they had to protect the privileged who just felt like exploiting a situation for fun. Those believers were a few newbies Lila has recruited during her stay in the shelter and most of her classmates. Only Ivan, Nathaniel and Ondine joined Julekas side. The rest was either dead or has succumbed to the overwhelming pressure of the situation.

Alya was in protective mode, but for whatever reason she was protecting the offender.

That brings us back to the very moment:

“How can you be so ignorant? Don’t you know how much Jagged Stones’ son meant to her? You of all people must understand how bad it is to have a loved one die!”

"Yes I do.", Juleka voice rose slightly. The louder she got the more she sounded like herself, so she kept it quieter. Rose had to have a say in this too. "And so does up to everyone else here. But I also know that my brother has been alive that morning and I know that he would never even think of dating you, Lila."

She rose from her seating position, not caring for how her knees were about to buckle due to not taking care of herself for the last few days. The dust in her hair and the dark marks on her clothes made all those who saw her feel the dire of the situation. All but Lila. Lila wasn’t used to loosing and since she has never perceived the “quiet emo” as a threat before, she didn’t give her words any value. A lethal mistake.

“Oh really? What, are you saying your mother, that old lady who thinks she’s a pirate, had a child with Jagged Stone? Bless her soul I know it must be difficult to live with her..I’m so sorry if I sound mean I don’t mean it like that..you can come to me whenever you need me. I’m your friend and you’re right, your grieve is more important than mine, especially with a mother who brainwashed you like that....”

“Do not dare insult my mother. Don’t you dare pretend to know me. Don’t you dare twist my words. Who are you grieving, anyways? Isn’t you mother in Canada, helping the homeless? Or no wait, that was your long lost twin sister who has only just recently invited you to her wedding next month? And wasn’t Adrien your secret boyfriend? How did you bring Luka..no I mean Luce into this?”

“I...I understand you are hurt Jules”, the tall girl winced at the nickname her brother gave her coming out of that demons mouth, “but please don’t drag Adrien into this, wasn’t he always nice to you? Guys please don’t tell on her to Adrien, he would be terribly hurt....he has such a difficult life already...”, she hid her face in her hands. The ones who believed her thought it was to hide her tears, but in reality she was panicking. Juleka had a much better memory than she has expected.

“Stop attacking the girl like that, come here Miss Rossi, she won’t get past me.”, a male voice spoke up. It was principle Damocles, a man who feared the position Lila claimed to have. “You shouldn’t be letting your rage out on the innocent. We understand that your loss must’ve been tragic, but Miss Rossis loss isn’t about you. Let the girl grieve in peace or leave her alone.”

Juleka stopped shaking. Instead she just stood there, fire flaming in her eyes and a scary eeriness in her stance. “I’m leaving then.”, Roses voice proclaimed and the figure moved. No one tried to stop her as she went straight for the exit, climbed over the debris and turned around to look at them for one last time. Lila was about to say something, fake tears already ready to flow, but Juleka just flipped her off and shut the heavy metall door.

Oh how good it felt to breathe.

To scream.

Ladybug heard her scream and she had just the right Miraculous to help her let that anger out.

----------

Hi!

So this took really fucking long! But the next one is almost finished so there will be another grand update soon. I was writing several scenes at once and then took way too long to finish each one and properly connect them BUT I now have loads of action and banter and relationship and characatergrowth and all that funky fluff we love ^^

I’m sorry if I’ve kept you waiting, and I’m slightly sorry for the medium-cliffhanger...

IMPORTANT thank you all so much for your feedback! I love you so much and I’m sorry I haven’t answered most of you even though you absolutly deserve any bit of attention there is. Please just know that whenever I write these “thank you speeches”: I mean you. You are amazing and I hope you are feeling well <3

My tag list has grown! If you want to be added to this pretty ensemble down there, just message me in any way and I’ll be happy to add you!

Tag list \o/:

@maribat-is-lifeblood @lokilex @amayakans @readingismyoxygen @zalladane @sunspritethedestroyer @toodaloo-kangaroo @purplesundaze @yeet-this-bitch @ratherbereading125 @snap-crackle-pop-goes-my-joints @slytherin-batbitch @melicmusicmagic @laurcad123 @violatiger8 @thatonecroc 

Thanks for reading ^^

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[bmsunra]

BMS Red Thirst Chapter 0

Prologue

The examiner stared at his eyes as Kil fixed his eyes a the blood in the bowl. It sat inside a glass box that sat on a table, and Kil was made to sit on the chair five metres from it.

Kil knew the proctor was looking for any abnormal alteration in his eyes, nose, and lips. Any sign that showed he want to consume the human blood, the examiner would fail him the test and mark him leech on the Arinyr Card.

But Kil knew the bald headed, pumpkin belly middle aged man would get nothing from him. He felt no craving nor the thirst. If anything he thought he was repelled by the sight of the human blood.

The examiner waved a hand, and his assistant, a slim young girl, walked over, threw a creamy shroud over the glass box, cutting the sight of the blood.

“Turn right,” the examiner said, who was sitting behind the table, playing with a pen.

Kil’s brown Arinyr Card was on the table in front of him.

Any unwanted suggestion Kil gave him, he would punch a seal and sign the second slot of the card as ‘leech’. The next day, BLC officials from Kuve would come and take him to the Asyl of the leech.

Kil swivelled right.

In the same distance as the glass box was a bulky monitor ontop a similar iron table. Currently its display was black, but Kil knew what was coming for he had taken this test before when he was only twelve.

The display flickered and something gory replaced the blackness; A man dying, his gut was opened by some ragged blade, its entails was spilled out over chest and the asphalt.

Kil flinced.

“Eyes on the screen,” the examiner said.

The next video was more grisly. It looked as if it was caught on hidden camera. A little girl of not more than twelve was sawing her wrist a razor, blood spurting all over as she did. Kil had to endure five more similar videos, which he went throug with peeled eyes. He had to. One of them had nothing do with sharp razor or entails, but just a young boy feeding blood by his mother from a glass bowl. The boy drank it as if were milk. Kil knew he would take some days forgetting it.

He found himself wondering how his twelve years old self manage to forget all these.

By the time the monitor went black again, Kil’s stomach had been twisted to uncountable knots. This was what the examiner wanted. He wanted to see how he react. Kil only reacted like a normal human would.

The BLC should come up with a less grim method to filter out leech. Maybe a blood taste or by studing a tissue of something. People with the thirst must surely have different biochemistry than normal human.

The examiner leaned over his Arinyr Card and scribbled pass in the second slot, stamped the BLC seal and signed over it. The pretty assitant ushered him outside.

Kil was sure she wink at him at the door way.

Jiyu and Jie were waiting outside. Kil sat down next to Jiyu. Jie turned twelve this year, so she was taking the test as well. She shivered visibly. Her big sister, Jiyu was tying to calm her down. “It’s gonna be alright.”

Jiyu was fourteen. She had to wait for her fifteen for her second Arinyr test.

There were around dozen kids in the waiting room. All of them had either their mother or father or both with them to quell theri anxiety. Kil, Jiyu and Jie had only themselves.

“I heard the new examiner is creepy?” Jiyu asked in a low voice. On hearing her sister question, Jie shirvelled and displayed fear in her eyes.

To Kil’s eyes the examiner wasn’t scary. If anything he was funny looking, with the melon belly and the bald and the bushy moustache.

“I don’t know about that but he got a super hot assistan,.” Kil said, which earned him a stern look from Jiyu.

Jie seemed she didn’t heard his respose, staring at the floor and shaking uncontrollable.

“You have a girlfriend remember?” Jiyu said pointing at herself, a slender silver bracelet glinted around her tiny dainty wrist.

“I do,” Kil shrugged.

“Jie Tsuyo,” the pretty assitant annouced.

Jie got to her feet.

“Be strong, sister,” Jiyu said.

Jie made her way inside without a word.

Kil remembered drenched in sweat from nervouseness on his frist test. His father there that day to comfort him though.

The pretty assitant came out again and headed for the washroom, but not without flashing a smile at three boys in the waiting room. Kil included. But Jiyu hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t alone. Like the rest of the boys who received the smile, Kil grinned dreamily. That earned him a elbow from his girlfriend.

“Ouch.” Kil let out little too loud.

Few turned their heads, but linger their gaze not more than two seconds. They had their own worries. If their child failed the test they would them. Kil heard not many return from the Asyl in Rachi, and he never knew or see anyone who came back in his life. He also heard they came back crazy. So naturally, none like the idea of room in the eerie building in the east Island of Akerin.

The kids were truly frightened too. Specially the twelve years. At least they had a parent. Kil’s was pretty carefree about the test, and Kil knew he had nothing to worry, so he told him to rest at home. Jie’s parents had a reason too; they forgot.

“You scare for Jie?” Kil asked Jiyu.

Jiyu’s scowling vanished, replaced by a face of worried.

“I’m scare a little bit,” she said. “They won’t take away a twevel years old girl, will they? They should seperate a child from their parents how irresponsible they are.”

Kil fully knew BLC take leech of any age, as young as seven, to the Asyl for correction, to get rid of the thirst. He also knew he shouldn’t share this information with Jiyu right now. He put an arm around her, and drew her closer.

“I’m sure Jie is strong.”

Ten minutes later Jie came out, which meant she passed lest they woud’ve taken her through the back door and kept her locked in a room.

Jiyu dashed to her little sister and hugged her. But was more scared than ever. She shivered harder as she hugged her sister back. She was teary.

Kil did’t understand how people are easily frighten.

“Let’s get away from this creepy place,” Jiyu said. “You hungry Jie?”

Jie bobbed her head. She still looked nervous.

Kil peddled the bike hard and drove away fast from the Senggu’s clinic where they set up Arinyr test centre for the year. Jie clung to her sister from behind on a seperate bike. They raced to the nearest foodstall. They bought currywursts. Kil didn’t have money, so Jiyu paid for three of them. She sometime worked at the town’s market when needed money. She accept whatever work was available.

They parked their bikes beside the road, flopped down on the grasses, ate their food and watched the sunset. A grass field spread in front of them. Five kids were flying kites in the windy sky. It was late summer, and the heat had abated heralding autumn. The sun was bright red and lonely, casting its last light on the green field and the mountain ranges. It’s Kil’s favorite part of the day.

“I hate this,” Jiyu said, holding out the food in front of her.

“Then why did you order it?” Kil asked.

“I only did because you two did. I don’t want to be left out.”

Jie munched her food in silence. Her eyes in the distance, as if her mind was somewhere else.

“Nobody forced you.” Kil said.

Jie finished her food, and ran into the field toward the kid. She asked one of the kid to allow her fly the kite. Once she hold the strong she looked happy for the first time of the day.

“In the city,” Jiyu said after a while, “I heard they have the greatest food. And one can easily find work.”

“I heard the cities are dangerous, specially in the capital,” Kil said. “Plus I thought you want to become a writer. Why are you so interest in working part time?”

“My part-time money bought this,” she shook her food in front of Kil. Kil bit a moutful at his. “It’s also the reason why I need to leave this Senggu,” Jiyu said. “In city I could easily find a mentor, and work to pay for the mentor.”

“Leave then,” Kil said. “My father and me are staying here for a while. Father loves Senggu, so do I.”

“Yes, it’s a good town for farmer and florist and the likes.” she said. “But not for someone like me with dreams. My parents were born in Senggu, so did their parents. I don’t want to end my life here. You won’t understand anyway. You don’t have a dream. You and your father came here to rot and perish.”

“Father said, we never have home before we settled here,” Kil said. “He always said how lucky we were that his friend gave us a place we could call home.”

“You are at your destination. I’m at my beggining. You’ve left your cage, I’m still in mine.”

“Leave Senggu then,” Kil said again.

“I CAN’T,” Jiyu said. “I can’t leave Jie with my parents. Father came drunk yesterday and fought with mother. We hid in the closet again.”

Jiyu sniffed. There was silence for a while.

“And I can’t leave you too,” Jiyu said after composing herself. “You are my boyfriend now, aren’t you. You promised to my maiden promise.”

Jiyu held her silver braclet in front of him. Kil remembered she made him promise to stay with her forever one year ago when she got her maiden bracelet when she turned thirteen.

“Let say I’ve a dream,” Kil said. “What if I left town in persue for it. What will do you do then?”

“I’ll come with you. We promise to stay together. That’s what we will do, right.”

“Right.”

The sun had set, the twilight had settled. Jie was flying kite in the field. A kid, probably the owner of the kid, was tugging at her skirt. But she wouldn’t let go of the thread reel.

“Let’s fly kite,” Kil said to Jiyu.

“No. It’s getting dark. Let’s go home.”

But Kil had already started running down toward the field. Jiyu was calling his name behind him.

“Come,” he yelled back, “let’s see who fly hi…”

Kil stumbled on a hard stone and tumbled forward headfirst. He dove headlong to the field filled with pebbles and gravels, and slid for a whole metre before he stopped. He flipped over, saw the blue sky. He saw two kites in his vision. His forehead hurt. He reached it with his hand. “Ouch!” he jerked it back as the pain double when touch. Little blood came on the tips of his fingers.

“Kil brother,” Kil heard Jie’s voice. And a loud laugher of Jiyu’s voice.

Jie’s head appeared in his vision, looking down at him.

“You okay?”

Kil sat up on the damp and rough surface. Somehow his bad luch had brough him to a grass free, but stony area. Jiyu was few metres away. She doubled over and guffawed. Kil started to snickered to at his own folly. Three kite runners who had seen him diving were cackling too, pointing there hands at him.

The only one who truly worried about him was Jie. But Jiyu also stopped laughing when she saw the blood trickling down his face. The sisters pulled him up, and they came home.

On the way, Jiyu bought a bottle of water, and cleaned the injury, and his face.

“Take a stick as soon as you get home,” Jiyu said. “Don’t worry there won’t be any scar. It’s minor.”

Kil wasn’t worried much. They drove merrily as before back home. It was almost completely dark when they reached their gate.

“See you tomorrow, Killian brother,” Jie said. Jiyu simply smiled a goodbye of the day.

The two sisters went through their wooden fence gate. Next to Tsuyo’s gate was Kil’s iron fence gate. He pushed his bike inside, and parked the bike in the shed near the gate. He saw shadow of his father through the semi-transperant glass of the greenhouse. He must be watering his flowers. He went in the house quickly to look at a mirror.

A thin red line one-and-half inch, started from the corner of his forhead and slanted toward his left eyebrow. He must’ve grazed sharp edge of a stone. The blood had dried up. It was a minor cut, nevertheless it would leave a scar if he didn’t take a healing serum within twent-four hour. From the cupboard, he took out the small metallic box in which they kept their serums. He set it down the round eating table and flopped himself down on a chair.

He picked out the syringe first, and started looking for vial that content pale yellow fluid. But all he found was tiny empty glass vial.

“We’ve ran out of serum a week ago.”

Father came in limply, supporting by a walking stick. His father was in his sixties, but he looked much older, with all his hair gone white, and the walking stick to help his impaired leg.

Father limped over, squinted his eyes at his son’s temple, studying the shallow cut.

“Hmm,” he said, displaying little concern. “I’ll get one or two tomorrow morning. Does it hurt? Sleep on painkiller.”

Kil had a reason not to believe his father’s word. And he would need a healing serum in twelve-hour if he wish to avoid scar.

The healing serum or SOMA serum could heal any wounds and injuries, given one inject it everyday until it completely heal. It also healed faster than normal human healing speed. It could even grow a severed limb if the person could afford a vial everyday for at least ten months. And the best thing about SOMA is that the wound wouldn’t leave any scars.

“You’ll get it tomorrow morning!,” he couldn’t hide the frustration in his voice. “Where woud you get money to buy it?”

Kill pulled his left sleeve to his elbow, revealing seven old scars in his forearm. It marred his rather smooth skin, “Remember when you made the same promise?” Kil said.

In Akerin, in the era of SOMA serum, the beggars and urchins had visible scars. And those who were so poor that they couldn’t buy a vials of healing serum. A scars on his brow was tantamount to saying, ‘I’m poor. I’m poor.’ Kil could hide the scars on his arm, even if he had to wear long sleeve everytime. But he couldn’t walk into school campus with one on the brow.

“I have some flowers I could see,” father said.

“Your stupid flower couldn’t fetch five-hundred ged let alone hundred ged for a nice meal.”

His father knew he was right.

“I’ll get a vial, I promise,” father said. “Let me put this bandage over it for now.”

He let him.

Kil knew the predicament his father was in. He had jobs before the accident that crippled his left leg. But he couldn’t help but mad at him.

“How’s the test?” father asked cleaning the cut the skin around it.

“Nothing.”

“Jie’s?” father asked again, putting the adhesive bandage over the cut.

Father didn’t asked about Jiyu last year when she gave her test. But he was always fond of little Jie. Kil found himself wishing his father like Jiyu as much as he like Jie. Then he immediately realized how childish the thought was.

“Nothing,” Kil said.

“Let’s eat dinner.” father said. “I’ve prepared your favorite …”

“I’m not hungry,” Kil said, still mad at his father. “I’m off to bed.”

Kil left his poor father alone and came to his room.

👾👽👼👻👺👹💣✌😈💩😷👀💀

On the bed

Kil found himself recalling Jiyu’s desire to live in the city. If he were in the city, he could find a part job. Money of a week work might be enough to buy a vial of serum.

Father dressed his bruises and scar once again, and put on adhesive bandage over it, and medicine to the bruised and cuts.

At dinner there was silence. A simple dinner of rice, and vegetable stew.

After dinner, when he was in his room, father came to give him a the painkiller. He gulped it down with a glass of water. Then he lay on the bed. But he couldn’t rest.

He had enough trouble trying to hide the scars on his hand. They only person who wasn’t disgusted by it was his mother, but she wasn’t with him now. Only the homeless and beggars in the streeth had scars in Akerin.

He almost gone to sleep when the sound of fighting came from the neighbour. Jiyu’s father and mother. It’s late. She must be unable to sleep as well. Her parents fought all the time. If it wasn’t night she would come to Kil’s house, and his father would keep the two sisters company until the fight was over.

Kil distracted the screaming and shouting with his own thought. Father had no money to buy serum, even though he said he would. Father only sold two to three flower pot a day, which wasn’t enough even for food. He didn’t have saving. This could like before.

There was a way though. Kil knew a way to get money instantly. If he go out, he could buy the serum early morning tomorrow.

He could bleed.

Selling blood was illegal in Akerin. It had been for many years.

One could sell to a govt. Medical fecily, but they didn’t pay much. But selling to blood dealer pay thrice the money. Kil knew the dealer of Senggu.

In Akerin, selling blood to a leech was the second most hated sin, the first one was being a leech and drinking blood. Since the bood dealer were selling the blood the collected to the leech, almost exclusively the citizen loathed them, and the police would without delay shove them into prison, if caught.

Near midnight, the fighting from Jiyu’s house had died.

At was near midnight, Kil put on his shoes and jacket and jumped out of the window, careful not to wake up father when he land. Not long after he waking down the street toward the town market. It was just a ten minutes walk. Most of the shops had been closed, and an eeri quietness had settled the area. Sounds of night insects had replaced the clamour and din of the crowd that was normal in the morning and day.

Blood dealing was ban in all over Akerin. The one in Senggu was ran by a nameless man, he can only be summoned from the bar. Kil, underage, so he went to the backdoor. As he heard the rumour, he told the big man there he wanted the blood dealer.

I’m looking for Sinner’s Door,

Not long after he was led through a dark corridor inside the building. The guard left him in a small room. Kil took a chair. The room strangely smelt of strong perfume. The dealer came after five minutes. He asked his name.

“Killian Vidar,” he said.

The man seemed taken aback by his name. But it was brief. Then explain the amount of blood Kil had to bleed, and the price, and how long it would take. Kil was more than happy to learn that for 500 grams of blood he could buy two vials. Which would be enough in his case.

The dealer was about to take him away from the room, when another man showed up. The man was tall and thin, had long red hair under a leather hat. He wore a long coat that matched the color of his hat.

“I’m here.”

The dealer stole a glance at Kil before he answer, “And your promise.”

The stranger reached into his coat and pulled out a thick envelope. It was easy to guess the money inside. The dealer took it, told Kil to wait for a while and led the stranger out of the room. Kil was certain he man was here to buy blood. That meants he was a leech. It’s scary to remind the leech who drink human blood and human look the same. There was no way to distinguish the two by merely obsering or looking. They coould be anyone in the Senggu. Kil wodnered how many leech were there in the town, secretly buying blood from the dealer to drink at dinner, like a premium wine.

The dealer came back alone after a while, asked Kil to follow and he did.

Kil followed him down another the dim corridor. Red bulbs lit from the ceiling, and it smelt the same perfume in the small room. This corridor had doors on the side, Some of them were opened ajar, Kil peeked inside as he passed them. He saw people on strechable couch with tube in the arm pumping blood. Bleeding. There were at least four chair in each room and six such rooms in this corridor. They turned right and headed down another similiar corridor. This one had single bleeder in a single smaller bleeding room. More private. Toward the end he passed a room inwhjich he saw the man from earlier with the hat. His back was on him blocking the view of the bleeder.

The dealer asked Kil to enter the room at the end. Kil almost enter in when heard it ...

“I know what you want of me. I’ll never become one of you.” It came from the room the man in hat was in and Kil didn’t had to see the speaker. He knew instantly.

Father. Kil tracked back and peered inside the room.

There he was, stretching on the chair, tube in his arm, blood ranning from his system into a plastic package under the chair. His walking stick propped up against it.

“I’ll get it from your dead body if I have to,” the man in hat said to his father.

His father cursed.

“Father.” The word escaped from Kil.

The man in hat turned.

Father was obviously shocked to see him here. His eyes went wide, glancing between him and the man in hat. It took a long moment until he spoke. “What are you doing here?”

“Father,” Kil’s voice came in low and with trace of sadness that grew inside him on realising his father was selling his own blood to buy serum for him, for the scar he got trying to fly a stupid kite.

The dealer came up behind him, grabbed his arm, and tried to drag him away. “We are sorry Mr. …”

The man in hat waved his hand, “Hold on,” he said, studied Kil. “Son?”

“I didn’t know.” said the dealer.

“Father why are you here?” Kil asked his father.

“You shouldn’t be here. Run.”

A knife appeared in the hand of the man in hat, silencing Kil and his father. He gestured to the dealer, and Kil was grabbe from behind, immobolised him.

“Don’t touch my son,” his father’s weak voice said.

The man in hat proceed anyway. “Let see if you’ve have the same thing as you old pop.” Then he reacched out and grabed Kil’s scarred left arm.

Kil tried to wriggel free, but the man too strong for a boy of fifteen.

Then the man slice Kil’s palm. Blood started to creep out of the cut. Pain shot though his hand. Kil cried out in pain. Then man in hat brough his hand to his mouth and suck the blood of his palm.

The man swalllowed. Grimaced, and spat to the side. Disgusted by the taste of it. He shool his head in disappointemnet. “Take his away,” he said to the dealer, and stood and turned toward his fatherm his knife gleamed in front of his father’s face. His father was frightened, Kil could tell.

The dealer grabbed Kil by the shoulders and started pulling him away from the room.

The man in hat was going to kill his father for his blood, Kil thought. His heart start to pung heavily agaisnt his chest, audibly. Line of sweat ran down from his temple to his face, and he could feel his whole body stated to perspire.

“FATHER,” Kil screamed. “DON’T KIL MY FATHER.”

“He won’t,” said the dealer from behind.

The man in hat turned back around. “Shut him up,” tha man in hat commanded the dealer.

“DON’T KIL HIM,” Kil yelled, trying to free from the dealer’s grab.

Father looked Kil in his eyes, “Find your mother,” he said.

The man in hat took a step toward Kil, and backhanded him hard in his face. It was so powerful, instantly knock Kil out.

When Kil opened his eyes, the man in hat wasn’t in the room, nor the blood dealer. His father was still in the chair, but he wasn’t moving. Not moving at all. His throat was sliced open, blood from the opening drenched his entire bodice. His skin was ghastly, almost as white as paper. They had drained his blood.

Kil pushed himself up, his right cheek hurt like hell.

His father’s eyes had been closed. How considerate of the killer. The man in hat. Kil looked at his soulless father, laying there like a baby, unaware of the rage burning inside his son. He cried holding his dead father. He cried, gritted his teeth, clenched his fist and vowed.

Nine months later, Kil slit the throat of his first leech victim.

Three months later from his first victim, he stabbed the 30th leech to death.

Eight months later from his 30th kill, he gored the guts out of the 60th leech.

Soon every leeches in Akerin heard his name. Kill rejoiced hearing his reputation. Yet he wasn’t done. Until he avenged his father.

Jie saw his blood, and drew her in. she looked away. Missing handkerchief, piece whic Jiyu gave it tomm him.

His father wasn’t happy either. He had his own scars, multiple, in his chest, thigh, forarms and back, that he got from working in multiple jobs. He did his best, Kil knew.

He got that when he was five playing with a harvesting machine. His hand stuck in it for half an hour. Father didn’t have the money to buy serum, so he left it to his own natural healing which did a fine job healing completely in three months, but the the scars remained.

[nyr-nra]

Red Thirst : CH00

The examiner studied Kil as he was made to stare at the blood in the glass bowl. The bowl was inside a glass box, and three metres from the chair.

Kil knew the examiner was looking for any abnormal alteration in his eyes, nose, and lips. Any sign that showed he wanted to consume the human blood, the examiner would fail him the test and mark him leech on the Arinyr Card.

But Kil knew the bald headed, pumpkin belly middle aged man would get nothing from him. He felt no craving nor the thirst. If anything, he thought he was repelled by the sight of the human blood.

The examiner waved a hand, and his assistant, a slim young girl, walked over, threw a creamy shroud over the glass box, cutting the sight of the blood.

“Turn right,” the examiner said, who was sitting behind the table, playing with a pen.

Kil’s brown Arinyr Card was on the table in front of him.

Any unwanted suggestion Kil gave him, he would punch a seal and sign the second slot of the card as ‘leech’. The next day, BLC officials from Kuve would come and take him to the asylum of the leeches in Rachi.

Kil swivelled on the chair to his right.

In the same distance as the glass box was a bulky monitor on top of a similar iron table. Currently its display was black, but Kil knew what was coming for he had taken this test before when he was only twelve.

The display flickered and something gory replaced the blackness; A man dying, his gut was opened by some ragged blade, its entails were spilled out over his chest and the asphalt.

Kil flinced.

“Eyes on the screen,” the examiner said.

The next video was more grisly. It looked as if it was caught on hidden camera. A little girl of not more than twelve was sawing her wrist a razor, blood spurting all over as she did. Kil had to endure five more similar videos, which he went through with peeled eyes. He had to. One of them had nothing to do with a sharp razor or entails, but a mother feeding blood to her young boy from a glass bowl. The boy drank it as if it were milk. Kil knew he would take some days forgetting it. 

He found himself wondering how his twelve years old self managed to forget all these.

By the time the monitor went black again, Kil’s stomach had been twisted to uncountable knots. This was what the examiner wanted. He wanted to see how he would react. Kil only reacted like a normal human would. 

The BLC should come up with a less grim method to filter out leeches. Maybe a blood taste or by studying a tissue or something. People with the thirst must surely have different biochemistry than normal humans.

The examiner leaned over Kil’s Arinyr Card and scribbled the word ‘pass’ on the second slot, stamped the BLC seal and signed over it. The pretty assistant ushered him outside.

Kil was sure she winked at him in the doorway.

Jiyu and Jie were waiting outside. Kil sat down next to Jiyu. Jie turned twelve this year, so she was taking the test as well. She shivered visibly. Her big sister, Jiyu, was trying to calm her down. “It’s gonna be alright.”

Jiyu was thirteen. She had to wait for her fourteen for her second Arinyr test.

There were around a dozen kids in the waiting room. All of them had either their mother or father or both with them to quell theri anxiety. Kil, Jiyu and Jie had only themselves.

“I heard the new examiner is creepy?” Jiyu asked in a low voice. On hearing her sister question, Jie shrivelled and displayed fear in her eyes.

To Kil’s eyes the examiner wasn’t scary. If anything he was funny looking, with the melon belly and the bald and the bushy moustache.

“I don’t know about that but he got a super hot assistant,'' Kil said, which earned him a stern look from Jiyu.

Jie seemed like she hadn't heard his response, staring at the floor and shaking uncontrollably.

“You have a girlfriend, remember?” Jiyu said pointing at herself, a slender silver bracelet glinted around her tiny dainty wrist.

“I do,” Kil shrugged.

“Jie Tsuyo,” the girl assistant announced.

Jie got to her feet. And made her way..

“Be strong, sister,” Jiyu said.. 

Jie stopped at the door, turned and looked at them. Kil and Jiyu smiled a smile of assurance. Jie smiled back, nervously, and disappeared into the testing room.

Kil remembered drenched in sweat from nervousness on his first test. His father was there that day to comfort him though.

The pretty assistant came out again and headed for the washroom, but not without flashing a smile at four boys in the waiting room. Kil included. But Jiyu hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t alone. Like the rest of the boys who received the smile, Kil grinned dreamily. That earned him an elbow from his girlfriend.

“Ouch.” Kil let out a little too loud.

Few turned their heads, but their gaze lingered not more than two seconds. They had their own worries. If their child failed the test they would take them away to the asylum in Rachi. Kil heard not many return from the forsaken place. He also heard they go crazy there after being forced to endure the thirst for so long. So naturally, none like the idea of bunk in the eerie building in the east Island of Akerin.

The kids were truly frightened too. Especially the twelve years olds. At least they had a parent. Kil’s father was uncaring about the test, and Kil also knew he had nothing to worry about, so he told his father to rest at home. Jie’s parents had a different reason; they forgot.

“You scared?” Kil asked Jiyu.

Jiyu’s scowling vanished, replaced by a face of worry.

“I’m a little bit scared,” she said. “They won’t take away a twelve years old girl, will they? They shouldn’t separate a child from their parents.”

Kil fully knew BLC took leeches of any age, as young as seven for correction, to get rid of the thirst. He also knew enough not to scare Jiyu more by sharing it right now. He put an arm around her, and drew her closer.

“I’m sure Jie is strong.”

Ten minutes later Jie came out, which meant she passed the test lest they would have taken her through the backdoor and locked her in a secluded room. 

Jiyu dashed to her little sister and hugged her. But Jie still looked terrified. She shivered harder as she hugged her sister back. She was teary as well.

Kil didn't understand how people are easily frightened.

“Let’s get away from this creepy place,” Jiyu said. “You hungry Jie?”

Jie bobbed her head timidly.

Kil peddled the bike hard and drove away fast from the Senggu’s clinic where they set up Arinyr test centre for the year. Jie clung to her sister from behind on a seperate bike. They raced to the nearest food stall. They bought currywurst. Kil didn’t have money, so Jiyu paid for three of them. She always helped her mother in the market, so her mother gave her pocket money from time to time. 

They parked their bikes beside the road, flopped down on the grasses, ate their food and watched the sunset. A grass field spread in front of them. Five kids were flying kites in the windy sky. It was late summer, and the heat had abated heralding autumn. The sun was bright red and lonely, casting its last light on the green field and the mountain ranges. It’s Kil’s favorite part of the day. 

“I hate this,” Jiyu said, holding out the food in front of her.

“Then why did you order it?” Kil asked.

“I only ordered it because you two did. I don’t want to be left out.”

Jie munched her food in silence. Her eyes in the distance, as if her mind was somewhere else.

“Nobody forced you.” Kil said.

Jie finished her food, and ran into the field toward the kid. She asked one of the kids to allow her to fly the kite. Once she held the thread she looked happy for the first time of the day.

“In the city,” Jiyu said after a while, “I heard they have the greatest food. And one can easily find work.” 

“I heard the cities are dangerous, especially in the capital,” Kil said. “ I thought you wanted to become a writer, plus you’re only thirteen. You can’t find work..”

“ I’m not talking about now. Maybe when I’m fifteen. I can’t find work then. My dream to become a writer is also the reason why I need to leave Senggu. In Kuve I could study creative writing and work part time to pay for it.”

“Leave then,” Kil said. “My father and I are staying here for a while. Father loves Senggu, so do I.”

“Yes, it’s a good town for farmers and florists and the like.” she said. “But not for someone like me with dreams. My parents were born in Senggu, so did their parents. I don’t want to end my life here. You won’t understand anyway. You don’t have a dream. You and your father came here to rot and perish.” 

“Father said we never had a home before we settled here,” Kil said. “He always said how lucky we were that his friend gave us a place we could call home.”

“You are at your destination. I’m still at my starting point. You’ve left your cage, I’m still in mine.”

“Leave then,” Kil said again.

“I CAN’T,” Jiyu said. “I can’t leave Jie with my parents. Father came drunk yesterday and fought with mother. We hid in the closet again.” 

Jiyu sniffed. There was silence for a while. 

“And I can’t leave you too,” Jiyu said after composing herself. “You are my boyfriend now, aren’t you. You promised, remember?” Jiyu held her silver bracelet in front of him.

Jiyu’s mother was a n’ra woman. According to their culture girls get a bracelet called a maiden bracelet at the age of twelve. Jiyu said, back in the days it marked the legal age for a girl to be allowed to court boys. Or it indicated the girl was ready to receive a proposal. Jiyu ran to him the day she got it and she asked him to kiss her on the lips.

It was their first.

They also promise to always stay together.

“Let's say I’ve a dream,” Kil said. “What if I left town to pursue it. What will you do then?”

“I’ll come with you. We promise to stay together. That’s what we will do, right.”

“Right.”

The sun had set, the twilight had settled. In the field, Jie was flying the kite. A kid, probably the owner of the kid, was tugging at her skirt. But she wouldn’t let go of the thread reel. Some girls had also come out and were now capering in the field.

“Let’s fly,” Kil said to Jiyu.

“No. It’s getting dark. Let’s go home.”

But Kil had already started running down toward the field. Jiyu was calling his name behind him. 

“Come,” he yelled back, “let’s see who flies hi…”

Kil stumbled on a hard stone and tumbled forward headfirst. He dove headlong to the field filled with pebbles and gravels, and slid for a whole metre before he stopped. He flipped over, saw the blue sky. He saw two kites in his vision. His forehead hurt. He reached it with his hand. “Ouch!” he jerked it back as the pain doubled when touched. Little blood came on the tips of his fingers.

“Kil brother,” Kil heard Jie’s voice. And a loud laugh of Jiyu’s voice.

Jie’s head appeared in his vision, looking down at him.

“You okay?” 

Kil sat up on the damp and rough surface. Somehow his bad luck had brought him to a grass free, but stony area. Jiyu was a few metres away. She doubled over and guffawed. Kil started to snicker at his own folly. Three kite runners who had seen him diving were cackling too, pointing hands at him. 

The only one who truly worried about him was Jie. But Jiyu also stopped laughing when she saw the blood trickling down his face. The sisters pulled him up, and they came home.

On the way, Jiyu bought a bottle of water, and cleaned the injury, and his face.

“Take a stick as soon as you get home,” Jiyu said. “Don’t worry there won’t be any scar. It’s minor.”

Kil wasn’t worried much. They drove merrily as before back home. It was almost completely dark when they reached their gate.

“See you tomorrow, Killian brother,” Jie said. Jiyu simply smiled a goodbye of the day.

 The two sisters went through their wooden fence gate. Next to Tsuyo’s gate was Kil’s iron fence gate. He pushed his bike inside, and parked the bike in the shed near the gate. He saw the shadow of his father through the semi-transparent glass of the greenhouse. He must be watering his flowers. He went into the house quickly to look at a mirror.

A thin red line one-and-half inch, started from the corner of his forehead and slanted toward his left eyebrow. He must’ve grazed the sharp edge of a stone. The blood had dried up. It was a minor cut, nevertheless it would leave a scar if he didn’t take a healing serum within twelve hour. From the cupboard, he took out the small metallic box in which they kept their serums. He set it down the round eating table and flopped himself down on a chair.

He picked out the syringe first, and started looking for serum vials. But there were only empty vials.

“We ran out of serum a week ago,” father said from the door.

Father came in limply, supported by a walking stick. His father was in his sixties, but he looked much older, with all his hair gone white, and the walking stick to help his impaired leg. 

Father limped over, squinted his eyes at his son’s temple, studying the shallow cut.

“Hmm,” he said, displaying little concern. “I’ll get one or two tomorrow morning. Does it hurt? You could use my painkillers.”

Kil had a reason not to believe his father’s word. And he would need a healing serum in twelve-hour if he wishes to avoid a scar on his forehead.

The healing serum or SOMA serum could heal any wounds and injuries, given one inject it everyday until it completely heals. It also healed faster than normal human healing speed. It could even grow a severed limb if the person could afford a vial everyday for at least ten months. And the best thing about SOMA is that the wound wouldn’t leave any scars.

“You’ll get it tomorrow morning!,” he couldn’t hide the frustration in his voice. “Where would you get money to buy it?”

Kill pulled his left sleeve to his elbow, revealing seven old scars in his forearm. It marred his rather smooth skin, “Remember when you made the same promise?” Kil said. 

In Akerin, in the era of SOMA serum, the beggars, the urchins and those who were so poor that they couldn’t afford a vial of healing serum had visible scars. A scar on his brow was tantamount to announcing, ‘I’m poor. I’m poor.’ Kil could hide the scars on his arm, even if he had to wear long sleeves every season. But he couldn’t walk into the school campus with one on the brow however small and short it was.

“I have some flower plants I could sell early tomorrow,” father said.

“Your stupid flowers couldn’t fetch five-hundred ged let alone hundred ged for a nice meal.”

His father knew he was right.

“I’ll get a vial, I promise,” father said. “Let me put this bandage over it for now.”

Kil let him, fuming. The bandage might be useful for now.

“How’s the test?” Father asked, cleaning the scar with spirit and the skin around it.

“Nothing.”

“Jie’s?” father asked again, putting the adhesive bandage over the cut.

Father didn’t ask about Jiyu last year when she gave her test. But he was always fond of little Jie. Kil found himself wishing his father liked Jiyu as much as he liked Jie. Then he immediately realized how childish the thought was.

“Nothing,” Kil said.

“Let’s eat dinner.” father said. “I’ve prepared your favorite …”

“I’m not hungry,” Kil said, still mad at his father. “I’m off to bed.”

Kil left his poor father alone and came to his room.

Lying on the bed, Kil could hear the sound of an argument coming from Jiyu’s house. They must be having dinner. Her parents always fought while eating. Kil wondered how could Jiyu and Jie eat in the yellings and cursings. Or they might be skipping dinner and lying on the bed like him now.

After a while, father knocked on his door and called his name. Kil pretended to sleep and didn’t say anything. “I’ll keep the painkillers in the kitchen, if you want them,” father said. “Good night.”

The scars on his left arm had been a constant object of frequent ridicule from his classmates. He had to wear long sleeves even in summer to avoid them. Kil was mad his father for not being a competent father. He couldn’t wait to be fifteen. Then he would find a job. He would take whatever works that pay.

Kil found himself recalling Jiyu’s desire to live in the city. We could live together in Kuve, Kil thought. Kuve must be expensive to live, plus he had to wait until Jiyu turned fifteen. That’s two years.

What about father? He could do it all by himself. He pretty much was alone all the time.

Jiyu’s parents' fighting became louder. Kil wished it would intensify. Then Jiyu and Jie would come here, and they could spend the night together.

But the argument died after about half an hour.

Kil sat upright. A sudden idea came. His friend Mik who worked at the gas station told him about it.

He could bleed.

No matter what the government did to wring out leeches from the crowd, they still managed to avoid their claws. They would rather live like a rat rather than sharing a cell with two others in the asyl. But they needed to drink blood to quench their thirst, lest the throes would kill them. Mik mentioned a travelling blood dealer who came a few days ago, and now currently put up in the Butchers’ Alley. He said he had to sell his blood to pay for his father’s hospital fee. He even shared the secret passcode to get to the dealer. Kil could sell his blood tonight and easily buy a vial of serum tomorrow morning.

How many units of packed cells could a boy bleed? How much could he get for one unit?

It didn’t matter, the dealer might know.

Kil jumped off the bed with new hope, but little excitement. He paused. 

Selling blood for leeches was one of the cardinal sins. He would be a sinner. It’s a crime under Bureau of Leech Control’s book. But the BLC wouldn’t know. He hadn’t known Mik was a sinner until he revealed it himself.

No one would know. 

It was near midnight when Kil finally made a decision. He put on his jacket and walked down the stairs barefoot, careful not to wake up his father. He closed the door slowly, and put on his shoes.

Minutes later he was pedaling fast toward the market in the eerily dead night. He reached the town’s market in ten minutes. It was eerily quiet in the market, but bulbs from the poles illuminated almost every corner. Kil winded his way through stalls the vendors left. If someone was still awake and looking out the window from a tall building nearby, they might assume Kil was a thief. 

 He parked his bike at the mouth of Butchers’ Alley. A single red bulb flickered above a metal door that stood beside a butcher shop. Kil took a deep breath and knocked.

Nothing.

He knocked again.

Nothing.

“Hello?”

Nothing.

The passcode!

“I’m looking for White ... Tiger,” Kil said, his voice shaking.

Is white tiger real!

A soft clang from the other side, and the door opened a fraction. A gaunt face appeared in the crack.

He stared down at Kil, as if waiting for something else.

“Mik sent me here,” Kil said.

“Come on in.”

The man wore a shabby light blue suit, and was almost twice as tall as Kil. Kil stared up and down at the man, and he seemed to have out of proportion legs. He didn’t look Akerinian. Must be a foreigner.

The long-legs closed the door behind him and led Kil down a dim stairs.

The place stank of meat and blood. Kil wasn’t sure if it was because he was in the butcher house or the blood dealer had collected so much blood that the place smelt of it.

“You’re lucky, the man leaves tonight.” long-legs said, as they walked down the stairs.

They stopped at a thick metal door. Even though Kil stood three steps above the stairs, the man looked down at him.

“After tonight, you never talk about this. Understand.” It was an order.

Kil bobbed his head. It was understandable. To assist another sinner made him a sinner too. And sinners were always scared.

The man knocked three times. Few seconds later the door opened, and the blood dealer appeared. 

The dealer’s hair was white, his eyebrows and goatee were white too. It was dim inside the room, but Kil could see the man’s clean shirt and waistcoat. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. He looked smart for a sinner.

“I’m not done with the old man,” the white hair man said.

“I can wait,” Kil said.

“What’s your name kid?” the white hair man said.

“Killian. Killian Vidar.”

The white hair man seemed taken aback by his name. He squinted his eyes and looked at him. Kil regretted telling his family name. The blood dealer tried to close the door behind him, but not before Kil saw the old man he was talking about.

“FATHER!”

Kil pushed the door guard and the dealer aside and rushed into the room. His father’s lips were taped, and he was tied to a chair. Multiple needles with blood tubes jabbed into his arms and neck. The blood tube connected to blood packages which were collected in a small portable fridge at his foot.

They were draining his father. His skin was pale from losing too much blood. And he looked extremely weak. His weary eyes searched for his son.

He mumbled something, but the tape was muffling him.

“Father, what are you doing here,” Kil said, trying untie the rope from behind.

His father looked worried, and he was trying to say something. Kil pulled the tape. 

“You shouldn’t … be … here,” father managed the words with great effort.

The tall man grabbed Kil from behind, and the dealer shut the door loud. Kil tried to shake free. Even though the man looked weak he was freakishly strong.

“Hold him,” the dealer said. “If we are lucky, he might be just like his father.”

Tha lanky man pinned him down now.

“Let me go... Let me gooo.”

The man pressed his knee harder, and with one hand he pushed Kil’s face to the dirty floor. With his other hand he stretched out Kil’s right hand, and held it firm.

“Don’t touch my kid,” Kil’s father yelled.

The blood dealer knelt down beside them. A blade glinted in his hand. Before Kil could say anything, the dealer jabbed the tip of the blade to his palm and dragged it across the palm.

Kil resisted the pain. It was nothing.

The dealer picked up his hand, and sucked blood from his palm.

“You dirty leech,” Kil said.

The dealer spat.

“What a disappointment,” the dealer said and turned away.

“Help help,” Kil began to shout. “Somebody help.”

They didn’t even try to stop him. Then he realised why. They were in the basement. There was no window or ventilators. No one would hear them. It looked like they made the room for the purpose of bleeding.

Fucking sinners.

“Please leave my son alone,” Kil’s father said.

“Powder him and put him in the butcher’s room.” the dealer said to the lanky man.

“Jirin Vidar, I want to make a …”

“Why did you abduct my father?” Kil said.

“We didn’t,” said the lanky man, pulling him up. “He came by himself. Just like you.”

The realisation hit him. His father came here to sell blood, so that he could buy healing serum with the money. His father had resolved to walk the path of sinners just so his son could avoid a tiny scar. So that Kil could go to school without shame. Now the sinners were going to drain him dry.

“LET HIM GO,” Kil screamed.

Long-legs let go of him, and kicked him on his back. Kil flew and hit the wall. It hurt, but his mind was about his father. The white hair blood dealer was now muttering just for him.

He pushed himself up. Long-legs came up to him, and blew a some white power to his face. It stunk his eyes, and within seconds started to see blurs. Then he fell on the floor.

He drifted into sleep, his eyes met his father. The eyes of a poor man who had been working so hard for his son. 

When Kil came to consciousness, he found himself in a pool of blood. The blood dealer was gone, long-legs wasn’t there. Kil couldn’t tell how long he had been out. The door to the room was opened, natural light from the room upstairs came through it.

Kil turned his head, and his heart sank.

His father was still in the chair. He still had the tape over his mouth, but he was free from the rope. The needles and the blood tube and the packed cells were gone along with the mini fridge. The blood Kil had been sleeping came from his father’s throat which had been open from ear to ear. His whole body was drenched in his own blood.

Kil held his dead father in his arms, and he screamed.

“FATHER.”

And the feeling he felt was a mixture of agony and pure hatred toward all the leeches in the world.

[popculturebuffet]

Hickman’s X-Men Line: One Year in Part 1: Prelude, House and Powers of X, X-Men and New Mutants (Hickman)

Under the cut is an explination of how hickman’s run happened (the mass decay will be covered another time probably), and dives into his x-books: house of x, powers of x,x-men and his breif run on new mutants and what i thought. Pax Krakoa baby. 

One year ago, I breathed a sigh of relief as I read the utterly masterful house of x #1.  See for the past few months, i’d been waiting on baited breath for this comic with a level of anticipation not matched by any before or since. Even the debut of a spinoff to Chew, one of my faviorite comics of all time that i deftnetly need to do a retrospective on, this week got within the same galaxy and it still wasn’t on the same level. This was big, grandiose and everything I hoped for. And whatever issues I had as House and it’s sister series came out slowly died out as the full story unfolded, my jaw dropped and my faith in Hickman to save the x-men was  fully delivered. At last the x-men were back on top. And it was going to be one hell of a ride.  

As you probably know the x-men had been treated pretty badly at marvel due to fox having the movie rights, a move that still baffles and frustrates me. Instead of making money to rub in fox’s face by promoting the hell out of them in merchandise, animation, video games and of course comics ALONGSIDE the avengers, they basically ignored the x-men and fantastic four to give fox less to work with to spite them while fox.. entirely ignored this as since both franchises have been around since the 60′s and the x-men had had mountains of spinoffs to give them mountains of characters. So in short: a decision to spite and hurt their compeitors only cost marvel money, pissed off fans and fox’s eventual absortion as far as I can tell had absolutely nothing to do with any of this. 

Thankfully marvel DID stop being stupid eventually and relented: The Fantastic Four came back a year before house of x with a decent run by dan slott, which is thankfully more like earlier spider-man work and ff work, and less like what his spider-man run became from superior onward despite the ocasional misfire but i’ll talk about both runs another day. I mostly bring it up because with this revivial, marvel also slowly reintegrated the four back into the marvel universe and made their return feel like a big deal.  The X-Men however took a bit: while they got an earlier shot at returning with ressurxion. Buuut with the idea of having hickman return in their back pocket, marvel apparently refused, at least according to cullen bunn who I fell has no real reason to lie, to let the writers rock the boat too much and the era perdictably was just meh, especially flagship book X-Men Gold which was written bafflingly by Mark Gugenhiem and outside of one or two good ideas basically felt like the comics equivlent of one of those party store albums where every song is a cover done by someone who couldn’t give half a damn. There were bright spots though with Cullen Bunn finishing out his awesome x-men tenure with x-men blue, Sina Grace’s wonderful iceman that took the wonky execution of Bendis’ decision to make bobby drake gay and made it work beautifully, and the decent if somewhat baffling x-men red. But overall it just felt like a missed opportunity and with the fox deal in bloom and a new EiC, marvel NEEDED something bigger, bolder and grander to do with marvel’s strangest heroes of all. After all all eyes would be on them while Marvel’s Movie department took a few years, probably longer now thanks to the pandemic, to let things cool off before bringing the x-men into the mcu.  Enter Jonathan Hickman: Writer of another one of my faviorite runs of all time, his Fantastic Four run, along with an enjoyable but heavily flawed avengers run, a secret warriors run i’ve read half of that was a hell of a ride, tons of ultimate comics, and a bunch of indies I haven’t read but are probably great. A wordy weirdo and i’m convinced the second coming of grant morrison, and I hope one day the two work together on something tha’ts equal parts weird and amazing.

The morrison comparison is also apt as both came into the X-Men at a time when the x-men badly needed them: Just like Hickman morrison had to deal with a largely stagnant x-men and changed them to fit the times. And yes unsuprisngly i’ll also be covering morrisons run, warts and all, and it’s also one of my faviorite comics of all time. However Hickman was given a huge advtange his spirtiual predecessor, and really few comics writers EVER have gotten: full control of the x-men line.  Unlike morrison who wasn’t even allowed to use certain characters despite writing the main fucking x-book, Hickman got full creative control: full say in the direction of the story, full say in who came on board and to let them pitch whatever they wanted to do. And honestly it’s an apporach that’s not only reovlutionarly but makes the books FEEL like their actually occuring around the same time. Sure their all still seperate entities, but it DOES feel like one coheisive universe. Contrastingly with the avengers Black Panther’s solo has had him on a year long sojurn in space, before returning to earth.. while also running the avengers over in jason aaron’s run and having his own spinoff team, without any fucking clue as to when intergalactic empire of wakanda takes place in relation to everything else. Tony Stark is currently just taking back both his own damn name and the iron man name in his own book, but is also a major player in avengers, and empyre with no mention of his seeming drunken spiral (itw as a ploy) or arno taking up the armor and I feel these issues rather than the neglect the x-men once had are why krakoa’s impact isn’t being felt more in other titles. I’m not saying don’t let books do their own thing, but I am saying let them have fucking consequences and weight instead of just acting like one isn’t happening or at the very least have a character be absent for an arc so you can fit the other stories into continuity easier. As X-Men’s shown it dosen’t stifle inovation and hell even immortal hulk easily fit into no road home with a fucking note saying “this takes place before x issue” it’s not that hard.  This advantage was likely part of Hickman’s terms for coming back. See the x-men were the one thing at marvel he never got to do. The Gillieon and Aaron runs and Bendis runs meant the spot simply wasn’t open and by the time he was leaving it was clear marvel wanted to bury the x-men not praise them, so his ideas had no run. But the X-Men were what got Jonathan into comics. A shocking fact I learned at last years comic con, during which most of the dawn of x titles were revealed, was he WASN’T a fantastic four or avengers fan as a kid, not hating them but like me with the avengers for some time, not really caring about them. But with both runs, he did his homework, read as much as possible, and BECAME a fan, and it shows as both runs show a deep love for both marvel and the teams present. With X-Men they were his dream, his golden goose, his windmill, he just never was in the right place at the right time... but with Marvel needing his starpower and creativity and having nothing to loose with the x-men and badly needing a big run to hlep keep intrest in the x-men till the new movies, he finally was. So seeing the company needed him and he could get his dream and the control he needed, while dc had just taken bendis, didn’t need him and until very recently was ran by a moron, his choice to come back to marvel instead of go to dc as he’s admitted, was obvious. And it ended up being the right one. House and Powers of x were massive creative and commerical hits and the following titles have all been mostly praised. The new direction has been a boon for the franchise,k the fans and marvel.  So being a fan of this direction, as you can tell by the massive intro, to give my thoughts on each book so far: what I think their doing right, where some went wrong etc, since I’d rather wait another year or so befor ediving into these and let some more of hickman’s plans and future story hints spread throughout his books pay off first. WIth that all out of the way it’’s time for a deep dive of x.So grab some plant based snacks, your x-shaped helmets, and your krakoan coffee, it’s time to finally get into hickman’s era of x-men. 

HOUSE OF X AND POWERS OF X The opening salvo and just with two mini series that are one, though why he DIDN’T just have them be one big mini series I genuinely do not know, probably to justify having two diffrent artists to carry the load, is an utter masterpiece. Plain and simple. Let’s get the status quo the series set up out of the way so I can dig into it more: Magento and Xavier were revealed to have been working together for years behind the scenes.. with Moira Mactaggert, one of my favoirite x characters who the series changes utterly and forever. See instead of being the one human who consitantly is on mutants side and one of the x-men’s staunchest allies who sadly hadn’t been resusrected in 20 fucking years, she was a mutant herself, her ablility being reincarnation.. and thus had lived through 9 of her 10 lives seeing mutantkind always loose so told xavier and magneto about this in the hopes of breaking the wheel and letting mutantkind live this time.  However hickman , while revealing the alliance does brilliantly still make it work in continuity for me: it’s clear from moira’s notes in one issue, as house and powers and any following titles love having charts or text based sections that I feel give the comics a unique flavor and really help boost most issues, that Charles optimism she was trying to break him of and faith in humanity took years to fully shatter: he plotted and schemed with her to protect his species but it was clear he probably felt it woudln’t be necessary that humanity would prove her wrong.. and by this series it’s clear, no they haven’t changed, the majority of them just want to genocide mutants and have tried again and again and again while the rest who don’t necessarily want it, paticuarlly the superheroes did nothing while Magneto chaffed against her after the whole “alter his infant self after he was deaged by a mutant he made into a baby to be more pacificsitc which naturally pissed him off when that wore off”. Yes that’s a thing that actually happened pre and post retcons it’s why a survivor of the holocaust is , while not a YOUNG man, still healthy and vibrant. It’s a clever way to not undermine those stories while still telling this one and this retcon is a move I like as unlike most retcons it’s both there to tell a good story and excuted in a way that outside of moira dosen’t undermine anything. The Moira retcon I was and to a degree still am mixed on. While the new version of her is brilliant, creative and intresting and I can’t wait to see what happens with her next time she shows up, I do mourn the old as the x-men had few human allies and now their only big one is now a mutant herself, but it IS in service of a really damn good narraitive and the twist that the bad futures presented were in fact other lives of moira was brilliant, and it’s nice to see SOMETHING done with her. I’d rather something that i have a small problem with lead to really great things and be worth the sacrifice of her former character, than just changing things because “fuck it I want to do this and their letting me do this’ as a lot of retcons tend to be. Hickman’s story needs moira and her cycle of defeat to truly soar to the heights it’s reaching, and to make Charles and Xavier’s back alley actions make sense, so i’ll glady sacrifce one version of a character that I really liked for another version of her that’s also really good.  The other big swing though I was completley on board for: Hinted at early on by serveral dead mutants being alived, after a sucidie mission against new big bads and mutant hating extermists orchis, who are far better written than other extermists,   it’s revealed just why death has seemingly taken a holiday: the big plan that has been decades in the making for xavier and co? That will reshape mutant kind and required working with mr sinsiter of all people? Revivie all dead mutants.  See in a brilliant reveal Cerebro isn’t just a mutant tracker; It’s a copier, copying their essecnes reaguarly and storing them for later, updating them every so often and thus meaning any who died can come back. Why it took Chuck so long to do this is also explained as he needed 5 specific mutant power sets to do it and thus had to wait till they had everything they needed: Goldballs, yes goldballs, spits out his giant golden balls, phrasing, which hickman in an insane and awesome turn revealed to be EGGS. Yes EGGS. Proteus, Moira’s son and former villian whose now pacificed since this body cloning process means he has an infnite suply of xavier bodies to burn through and thus isn’t killing people, warps reality to mamke the eggs viable. Elixir, a healer whose been through some shit the poor guy,gives the eggs , once injected with the mutant in questions dna via syringe because of course, life, and Tempus, goldballs former classmate fellow bendis creation and mistress of time, speeds it up a bit so they don’t have to wait a good few decades for some mutants to rerez. The fifth that makes all this possible is hope summers, mutant messiah and adopted daughter of cable returned to promence once more, whose power is revealed to be power maniulation and thus can boost their powers to the degree neded for this. it’s a BRILLIANT turn that not only undoes all the pointless deaths mutants have undergone, but changes the game: Genocide is now near impossible, as humanity has no idea bout any of htis, and instead of mutant lives going down, they can only go once.. as one man once put it...

And as an x-men fan having watched characters I love die again and again for stupid reasons, especially int he placeholder run right before house of x, this was so satsifying. Everyone the x-men had lost, every character I loved who was gone and forgotten.. they were back or would be back.  And thanks to Krakoa they were thriving: By giving mutantkind a homeland instead of a headquarters, a nation given to one of their own because he demanded itbasically, or an island fortress designed to give a dying species refuge, they have a goregous sentient island (I’ve always loved krakoa for the record though I wonder what happened to his clone son), with abundant food, teleporting gates across the world to visit wherever they like or live in the various worldwide habitats if they please, and peace and security they’ve neve rknown. No more being woken up to get to a panic room because a sentienl attacked. No more having religious maniacs blow up busses containing your tine. No more having the vast majority of the superhero community do nothing as a fucking plauge cloud wipes out your species. Anything apporaching krakoa now has hundreds of the most powerful beings alive defending all mutants.. and that includes the worst of the worst, all given amntesty.. but they must tow the line or else be given a fate worse than death. After years of pain and suffering and misery mutantkind is free safe and happy. They still have to fight to get the rest of their kind out of racist hands and to saftey, the fight’s not over.. but now the odds are in mutantkinds favor. It’s paradise.  And yet this mini, and this whole run dosen’t run from tough issues; The mutants are now isolationists and only mutants are allowed on krakoa itself.. on the one hand this is a bad idelogy and potentially dangerous, instead of fighting for harmony fighting for my land alone.. but it’s also see why Mutantkind has taken to it. The X-Men have tried for at the least a decade in universe and at the most and most likely 15 years to live in harmony, fight for mankind and make peace with them.. and only a small chunk has acutally tried to help them with that. The other large fraction? They either build death machines to try and wipe out all mutants, and in the case of Cassandra NOva who while not a human is still a racist genocidal bitch, SUCCEED in wiping out a large chunk, or do nothing while mutantkind suffers.  The series forces you to think about the implications that marvel comics themselves previous ignored: That with all the superheros in this world who arent mutants.. more often than not htey’ve done fuck all when terrible shit happens. When Genosha died, not a one asked the x-men what happened or tried to hunt down those responsible. When Decemation happened, the avengers were more concerned with helping the x-men cover it up than helping them move on and did nothing as the goverment made xavier’s into a reservation, even after regrestration happened and the goverment had more heroes than ever to spare to helping them. When the T-Mist happened years later instead of stopping terrigin or asking the inhumans to stop it for the good of another race, the rest of the heroes just did fuck all. Sure the avengers were on a budget and the ff were asbent, but there were enough heroes in the world still and enough teams to do something about it and only the ones with mutants on them did!. IT’s hard to say “well you shoudln’t exclude them”.. when the rest of superhero kind has been subtly doing it their whole lives.  But it dosen’t shy away from the claims of racial superiority the isoaltion or the fact the x-men basically sued for nationhood by making requiring recognizing their nation hood the price for trading for their life saving and extending, world changing drugs, which you would still need to buy. There’s other issues, one that i’ll get to in a moment as it was only revealed in x-men. Various characters, Corsair in issue one of the ongoing, the fincial summit in issue 4 and the ff both in house of x #1 and ff/x-men, all question this and some of the ethics. Hickman brilliantly decides instead of just painting the x-men as absolute moral rights, to show their new nation warts and all: the genuine good their doing and trying to do but also the price they have to pay for it and the mistakes they may be making. And the compromise necessary to build a nation. It’s all chiling, compelling shit that’s even more releveant in a time when bigotry is piling up like crazy. Both house and x-men, which i’ll get to in a second, ask questions with no easy answers and it makes them a compelling read.  Also compelling is the two mini series use of flashbacks: The two previous moira timelines, which we learn are just that as we go, are compelling with the apoclaypse timeline having loveable heroes were are heartbroken to see die in the struggle, while the last timeline seemingly sees the mutants turn as bad as the humans.. only to peel back a layer at the end and reveal humans are still very much the real monsters, and them evolving via machine is a threat to mutant kind's natural evolution. It was a good story twist and of course there’s FAR more to dig into in both books, and I defintely will at some point in the future as I said. But there’s tons of great ideas here: Sinsiter not only being a mutant but a reluctant ally, the same of apocalyspe, the heavy questions I got into above, the idea of machines being mutants greatest threat which makes a ton of sense, and the various ones I already went into. I can’t gush about this book enough, but since this is already long enough i’m trying. The point is both mini series are great and how you do a self contianed event perfectlY plenty of consequence, plenty of scope but enough character and brilliant ideas and a FUCK TON of quotable and iconic lines, all blend into one of the very best series i’ve ever read. And lead directly into..

X-Men I talked about a lot of what this book represents above as it’s a direct continuation of the above, but the book on it’s own is still something diffrent. while it continues setting things up, playing with the new toybox hickman set up, and asking the tough questions, x-men does it in a diffrent way. House and Powers bounce around through time while all telling one huge story and one huge bundle of setup for this status quo.  X-Men instead is a bunch of single issues. It’s still a ton of setup, though with enough payoff to house and powers that it at least so far hasn’t become tedious, especailly since hickman specifically has plans for all of it and has shown in the past he’s a long game man when it comes to storytelling, but through more action packed stories that, with the exception of mistque’s spotlight issue so far, have one shared element: Cyclops, aka Scott Summers, who as grand captain of krakoa is the nation’s ruling council’s go to guy for missions and who he himself can form any team he once for any mission.  Cyclops, like the x-men hadn’t been treated well for years; Various characters lambasted him after the phoenix force drove him mad and lead to him killing charles xavier, and before that his run as leader of utopia, not helped by x-force painting him as a cold heartless dickweed, had him forced to make questionable decisions that made fans turn agains thim despite the hard position he was in. But now with the burden of absolute leadership of mutantkind in other hands, HIckman writes scott beautifully and has restored him to his proper place.  WIth Xavier taking over as absolute leader of mutantkind and his race no longer hanging by a thread for the first time in years scott can relax and ENJOY himself. As the first issue shows he has everything he ever could have possibly wanted: A healthy marriage with Jean again, and an open one at that with him free to still see emma and Jean openly seeing Logan. Logan himself no longer trying to murder scott for his mistakes or kill his teenage self due to bad writing, but being his best friend again and also living with him and presumibly having threeways because they have connected bedrooms and of course jean would want both at once. Maybe they also just fuck each other sometimes again the details haven’t exactly been clear but it’d explain the tension disappearing. Maybe the schism would’ve ended quicker if Cyclops and Wolverine just fucked each other after children of the atom. Hey not every question is a deep personal one on krakoa sometimesm it’s just “Are these two fucking and could it have solved things faster in the past if they did?”. Also I almost forgot to mention, and added this near the end of writing this, in additoin to everything else scott now lives ON THE FUCKING MOON, on the blue area with a breathable atompshere, on a moon house with his family and fuckbuddy and Vulcan’s buddys. It’s fucking amazing. But moving back to other things scott’s gotten besides logan’s wang up his butt, as seen in issue one thanks to the gates his dad can now visit anytime, his brothers live with him with Vulcan going from genocidal dickweed to weirdo thanks to his experinces between his “death’ and this series, and he’s just. happy. And as a leader he takes the x-men on thrilling missions: the series combines action with character and worldbuilding and it is great.  The worldbuilding part has been tremendous; we’ve seen new foes in the returning children of the vault and horticulture, aka what if the golden girls were tv ma, and also plant based  supervillians plotting a better future for mankind that krakoa’s drugs clash with. We’ve seen nimrod creeping close, charles and magneto not playing ball with mystique start to backfire, the return of krakoa’s lost love, and in my faviorite arc, we’ve seen broo, one of my faviorite x-people and intellegent brood, eat an egg and thus become god emperor of the brood, not only giving the vicious race a chance to reform but giving the x-men a huge advatange in space, doubeldby events we’ll get to in a second.  And biggest of all we saw the crucible: Since those depwoered by the decimation can get power back by dying again, and to prevent overworking the five with mass sucidies krakoa came up with a nasty solution,: earning resurection via ritual combat. And like the above there aren’t easy answers to this: mass sucidie isn’t better or faster, but having mutatns forced to EARN repowering by dying brutally isn’t a great solution either and is kind of sick. And it also opens up questions about ressurectoin that Nightcrawler feels made need reegion to answer htem. It’s again good heavy instreating stuff.  We also got my faviorite issue #4 where the x-men go to a fincial summit, and while security detail cyclops and gorgon fight off hired goons...

Xavier, Magneto and Apocalypse discuss with world leaders about the implications of krakoa’s policys, with Magneto not hiding his love of flexing his superiority. And Charles ends the confrence, after it’s revealed one hired them in an utterly masterful moment: Taking off his helmet to reveal no this is charles, this is him and that even after they tried assintating him he has and always will love humanity he’s just sick of being treated like crap and suffering for doing it and his people suffering for it and he won’t tolerate this sort of shit again. See it for yourself it’s an absolute triumph:

 It’s a great scene. Overall an utterly great title that really keeps the momentum moving and I feel is only setting up for even more things.. the only real issue is that A) the title’s been slower at coming out than the other dawn of x titles, though in the case of the empyre tie in’s it’s not hteir fault but the rest sure as shit are, and B) that it has mostly been just setup but it’s been good enough and enjoyable enough and I feel payoff is coming, so I truly don’t care. At long last we have a main x-men  book that’s not only fantastic but uttterly engaging and I read most issues multiple times. An utter slam dunk

Giant Sized X-Men: This one is incomplete, so I can’t fully say what the full picture is.. but for the three released so far it’s a mixed bag, though the art in all three is gorgeous as Hickman brought on the best artists in the buisness but it’s telling that while New Mutants bellow had issues that bugged me but was still kinda fun, and the above havem y utter priase I nearly forgot to include these issues. None of them are bad and all have gorgeous art as I said, these are some of the best in the buisness, they feel padded. These were supposed to be annuals, but when they decided to change this to one shots.. they shoudl’ve just made them regular length instead, as there simply isn’t enough story here to fill them and so far only Davis’ issue has both had huge setup (both revealing doug’s fusion with warlock is a secret for some reason and that he is indeed still fully alive and revealing what happened to the x-mansion), and due to Davis background as a writer/artist the pacing to fill one issue and even then it could’ve been trimmed. Not bad and I don’t fault the artists for not being used to being writer/artists or having to do so while also conforming to a larger narriative which likely didn’t help or in the third one’s case having to take over for someone else entirely, but it’s , while not bad no ton par with the two above books and I expect better from hickman. 

New Mutants (HIckman’s Issues)  I’ll cover Brisson’s issues next time as they feel like a diffrent run entirely, but New Mutants was.. a disapointment. I was utterly pumped for this title going in being a huge fan of the team thanks to finally reading the claremont and sikenwitz run and before that re-reading abnett and lannings utterly great run and hey jonathan hickman who’d already done gangbusters was writing it! It had a great roster! 

And it starreed one of hickman’s faviorite mutants and one he’d taken a shine to on avengers, and one of my faviorite superheros, Roberto DeCosta, aka Sunspot. On Avengers hickman took Roberto , already a decent character and made him amazing. He was still rich, young and a playboy as ever.. but he used said wealth and his love of fun wisely. When undercover at an AIM casino instead fo throw down, he offers the agents a free day of partying and gambling on his huge dime, then puts them on payroll as his undercover agents. So to recap Roberto DeCosta won the avengers two valuable double agents in what at the time was one of their biggest threats.. by buying them tons of beer and gambling and presumibly hookers. And later got the loyatly of the rest of AIM through these guys, and when Steve found out tony betrayed him and went off hte deep end hunting him instead of stopping the end of the goddamn world, TOOK OVER AIM HIMSELF IN COMBAT WITH THE AIM SUPREME, and then formed his own avengers. 

Literally. He got his own avengers team, most of which left after the apocalypse but he simply found younger and hungrier replacements, and aim.. with blackjack and hookers. The man is a legend. And knowing Roberto if hookers were actually involved he probably treated them with respect and overpayed them because he’s a class act. Then under Al Ewing’s mighty pen, Roberto not only formed another avengers team since most of the avengers he formed to stop the end of the world were busy elsewhere, of young and great avengers, while dying of the aformentioned death cloud, but became an utterly brilliant chessmaster, only failing ONCE becaue of hydra cap getting into his head while AIM was working for the us goverment towards the end as the USAvengers. And yes that’s a real team. It’s as insane and beautiful as it sounds. And his new avengers once fought american kaiju, a godzilla with a flag painted on it chaning usa. Al Ewing is the best and I love him. But he also became a master stratigest and schemer with schemes within schemes within schemes, his crowning one being faking his own death and using his fake funeral to clear out any remaning enimies in AIm, and only quitting AIM to keep it out of goverment hands and in the hands of a trusted friend. He was and still is one of the best avengers there ever was and ever will be.  But here, as the new mutants go on a road trip to get sam? He’s a fucking dumbass who hires the worst space laywer possible, only gets off trial because Sam and his wife save them, glad they weren’t broken up by the way,  and is utterly useless most of the time. It’s like HIckman forgot the last part of his run.. granted time runs out isn’t very good but still, that wasn’t a good thing to forget and like Hickman wants to ignore ewing’s work for no damn reason, even though Ewing did great things with Roberto and kept him relevant when marvel was choking the x-men to death. It’s fucking embrassing and disapointing to see.  The rest of the New Mutants aren’t much better mostly being happy but also not really acting like themselves, with only mondo really standing out since he gets great moments and hasn’t done anything in a while. And Doug, who I negelcted to mention above is one of my faviorite mutants and thanks to being krakoa’s primary method of commuincation, is now one of krakoa’s most important mutants, has a seat at the council with krakoa, and weirdly has his best friend warlock hiding on his arm for reasons that haven’t been explained yet. In Short doug went from beign forgotten to being used awesomely again. Roberto instead of getting the same is set back as a character and ends the arc deciding to stay in space because he misses sam, and will likely become third in his marriage i’m sure, and wants to bone deathbird, x-men villian and frequent shiar usuper. But while rahne actually being happy is a good sight to behold they , except Dani, really dont’ do much. Though Magik gets a fucking amazing scene where she asks the various assasians sent ot kill them if they want to make out , not only revealing she’s bi, but that she’d prefer that to killing them all but does so when they dumbly refuse .. I mean seriously who, whose not in a relationship that’s open or way older than her, not take her up on that?  The plot their thrust into isnt’ great either, mostly just more setup but not present as well as in x-men about Gladiator giving the shiar empire to xavier’s daughter.. yes charles has a daughter that was created from his and his ex wife lilandra, whose still dead’s dna, and letting DEATHBIRD Of all people teach her instead of his damn self. Xandra taking over isn’t a terrible idea it’s just handeld poorly. It just feels disapointing.. like hickman WANTS to do a JLI style book here but the combination of him only doing one arc and not really wanting to write the characters as they should be, an issue that only pops up here and in the new mutants cameo during x-men proper and not for doug ever, that makes it fall falt.. I mean there are utterly great moments like the above, and hte image i used to lead off their just stifled by misusing roberto and everyone else. 

But overall hickman’s works on x-men  are fucking great, intresting and engaging. I’ve read the issues a ton and will again. One small mistep dosen’t take away from all the large good he’s done and he’s made the franchise feel alive again and hopefully the MCU take on it will take after this run, as it’d be a great way to break from the endless xavier vs magneto battles of the fox universe. So yeah overall 2 great books and a thankfully short misfire, HIckman’s on top. And next time we’ll see who he picked to help him carry the x banner home to us all, and who did well with it and whose stumbled a bit as part two delves into the rest of the dawn of x. For now subscribe for more comics stuff as I plan to get back on that, including I hope a restrospective on the fox era x-men sometime soon, animation reviews, and more fun stuff. And until then, courage. 

[thatlonelygirl630]

I so want to write this fanfic but ahh it would be so long!!!

Oh boy this turned out longer then expected sorry for your dashes but my sister thought it was worth the read!

So the new “villian” of the year shows up out of no where saving supergirl and gives the DEO lists of Cadmus facilities that are still working. They don’t get a hit in any facial recognition for an identity. When those Cadmus facilities get shut down of course Lillian would use her connections to escape prison (again) and attempt to save her life’s work.

Now with that obviously more kryptonite would be involved resulting in Supergirl getting hurt more often and getting weaker. The new hero is dubbed as the shadow since she never talks to anyone or sticks around for the interview photo op and generally sticks to the shadows (wears all black).

Kara has stated numerous times there is somthing weird about the shadow but she can’t place it. That’s when a partial file was sent to the DEO anonymously all about the shadow. It’s basically found out she was created by Lillian to be stronger then any Kryptonian and be able to kill one.

With that the DEO (mainly Alex) flips out and wants her captured so she can’t hurt her sister. They soon realize nothing seems to be able to contain her. Kryptonite seems to peirce her skin but not debilitate her as it would Kara or Kal-El. Even though the DEO is trying to caputure her the shadow just keeps on showing up to help supergirl often times flying her back to the DEO when she’s to weak but leaving without a word.

Kara and Alex work together to try and figure out what her deal is and why she doesn’t just attempt to kill Kara. Lena tried to help and hack Cadmus for the rest of the file hoping to find a weakness when....

Supergirl gets stabbed right in the gut by a kryptonite claw. Alex gets terrified at the sight of her sister dropping to the ground but is quickly reminded of her own fight with a human armed with alien tech.

Lena is monitoring the girl of steel back at the DEO since she was wearing the special suit but she notices somthing odd. Usually and understandably when anyone is stabbed let alone Supergirl by kryptonite their vitals skyrocket. High heart rain, blood pressure is unstable and all of that kinda stuff. Instead though her vitals start to steady.

The Luthor looks at the footage of an agents helmet cam and sees the shadow putting pressure on the wound, kryptonite blade long gone along with the suits helmet. She was expecting to see her injecting supergirl with somthing but the shadow was just putting pressure on the wound with a gloved hand around supergirl neck shaking her head when the blue eyes flutter shut.

Alex was amazed by the footage when she saw it later how her sister just stared into the eyes of the enemy and seemed at peace. When Kara later woke up healed and cleared to leave Alex asked her about it but the blonde simply says she must have been delirious or something. Alex knew she was lying but didn’t push.

When Lena finally managed to obtain the other half of the file she was shocked. Immediately she went to the DEO with it but both supergirl and Alex were missing.

Lillian managed to capture Alex and convinced Kara to come willingly using Alex as leverage. During their capture Lillian taunted them before finally handing over the whole file.

Alex read it first and was shocked it took her a full minute to wrap her brain around it. Turns out the two parent cells Lillian used were Alura’s which she nabbed from lex when he had managed to obtain a sample of Kryptonian DNA that was stored in the fortress of solitude. And the other Jeremiah Danvers.

The perfect blend of Danvers and El blood, a sister to both Kara and Alex. It’s why Jeremiah stayed with them for so long no even attempting to escape. Sure in the process her protected Kara and Alex but he didn’t want to just abandon this new baby allowing her to grow up a weapon.

Thanks to the odd combination of DNA she aged faster until hitting puberty and was physically 26 years of age. Jeremiah made sure to raise her, helped her seperate the good and bad, helped her be her person.

When she was old enough he made her a suit and helped her escape while he stayed behind to cover for her. He taught her all about Kara and Alex, how close they had become in his absence, unintentionally he had made the third sister scared to confront her family.

She was terrified they would reject her, that there would be no room for her, their bond as sisters too fortified to let anyone else in. She planned on leaving national city, leaving everything behind but she couldn’t.

She couldn’t for the same reason Kara’s vitals stabilized dispite almost dying. Kryptonian familial recognition. She saw supergirl get hurt and had to go save her, she had to. So she stuck around keeping in the shadows of the Danvers lives making sure they were safe.

When the shadow eventually comes to rescue them after mentally prepping herself for returning to the place she was held and experimented on for the duration of her life she gets Jeremiah out of there too.

They hold off going to the DEO for a little while deciding the four of them needed to talk. So they sat in Kara’s apartment, the suits they all wore looking like Halloween costumes.

The shadow turned off the image inducer she made making sure no one would recognize her and the sisters were shocked at seeing Jeremiah engulf her in a hug. The reality still not fully cemented in their minds yet.

Jeremiah explains everything to them and the shadow (insert whatever name ya like for her) to which Kara scoffs at saying they would never turn her away. Alex seemed skeptical but going back to the whole familiar recognition Kara gets close with her very quickly making Alex warm up as well.

It would really be a full Danvers sister season with Alex being protective over kara after seeing Lillian created yet another thing to kill her. While also digging deep into their hearts to find room for more family seeing as they have been so used to being there for each other and now they have a sister who was mentally a physically abused/tortured/manipulated for most of her life (Jeremiah could only do so much).

Now the season finally could be all about how the three of them are all trying their best becoming the best of buds when Cadmus rises again more deadly then ever. It eventually ends with the shadow sacrificing herself to Lillian at her request to save Kara from dying. Kara begs her not to but she does anyway.

Kara only finds out later that Lillian nabbed Alex too and season 6 could be how supergirl gets really determined to save her sisters. She has to battle the new director of the DEO on everything so she quits and joins up with Lena to get the job done (maybe throwing in a little supergirl dabbling in the dark side in her determination while Lena keeps her on the right path as a twist).

Meanwhile in Cadmus Jeremiah is doing his best (cause Lillian will never admit but she needs him and if holding his daughters over his head and dealing she will take his smarts) to make sure Alex and shadow are alive and well (again his best!). Lillian just got Alex as a sort of bargaining tool, I mean Kara would do anything for her, the government what to save her and she’s smart like her father.

Alex endures all of the torture thrown her way refusing to help Lillian in any way all while Lillian is brain washing the shadow (I imagined it kinda like a cross between Bucky form marvel and how maxwell lord created bizarro) by making her follow any orders and planting a seed of hate for supergirl.

When she’s satisfied with the progress Lillian gives her a finally come and as the shadow begs her not to knowing it would be “kill supergirl”. Lillian then releases her and the shdow has to fight herself as she bolts to the DEO managing to get to a safe spot before collapsing as her mind battles itself.

Kara the ever worried sister finds out she is there and goes after her. Finds her crying and immediately try’s to comfort her meaning cuddling her on the stairs of the DEO with Kara being the affectionate person she is.

That doesn’t help with shadows mental state and she has to fight her heat vison as she screams at Kara to take the suit off. Lillian told her to kill supergirl not Kara.

The rest of the season can be all about Alex following in her fathers footsteps keeping her sisters safe but not repeating his mistakes. No Alex is determined to get out of Cadmus in time to save her sisters, in time to save herself.

Kara tries to help the shadow but is ultimately making it hard on her so kara turns to the only person she has (could make a good supergirl reveal) Lena who helps the shadow with some smart techy Lena invention.

Now this part is completely optional and is totally for whatever you ship in the show!!!!

For Lena x James

I mean that could make or break them the whole her and supergirl doing questionable morality trying to save Alex and shadow. Either it ends them or he decides to help and it fixes all the problems they have been having.

For Kara x Lena

Now personally I think if supercorp (as much as I love them) were to ever happen it would be out of obligation and not feel very genuine (in the writing at least I think Katie and Melissa could pull it off on screen but scripts can fail even the best of chemistry). However I think this would create a very real and emotional getting together for them. Kara going on an emotional rollercoaster with her sisters being kidnapped while Lena holds her hand and helps her. Then when she can’t help her sister and makes it worse she breaks down and Lena is the shoulder for her to cry on. Kara could realize that her support was taken away and Lena was there for her (she always has and Kara knows that but this would be like her eye opening I actually love you moment). Lena also realizes it after seeing her best friend hurting so much.

I mean seems more realistic then them one day just going eh I guess I love you.

Anyway that was really long if you made it through let me know what you think.

[ellalynnmonroe]

VanCon 2017, my second convention is under my belt. Now that I’ve finished my finals for school, I can fully recap the events of the weekend and appreciate them completely. If there are any typos, I apologize now. My brain hurts from taking said finals. Hah.. oh, and uh. I haven’t entered in those fancy ass cues to seperate paragraphs since I was on Live Journal… like 15 years ago. So.. sorry for the continuous paragraph. 😂 The weekend began with this sweet gal (@winchestersnco) arriving at my door step. This woman was my right hand woman and savior this weekend. She was so incredibly helpful, patient, and loving when it came to my two month old daughter.. who’s name happens to be Amara. **Long backstory short.. my bf and I loved the name and the uniqueness. The fact it’s a character from our favorite only had a small part it.. as is the fact she was created at VanCon 2016…. #porncouver 😂** The drive to Vancouver started out great. Amara slept for the first third of the drive. And then hated us the rest of the drive. Though it was rather exhausting, me feeding her in her carseat is a memory neither Erin or I will forget, I’m sure. Needless to say, Amara had worn herself out so much, she only woke to eat and slept nine hours that night. Friday! The show started later than I remember it starting last year. The energy was also different. Maybe I got spoiled with Kim and Brianna. Rich is a neat dude and all, but those girls really set the bar high. Lol. The panels were fun. The first and only time Amara made a sound during a panel was during Samantha Smith’s. Of course I get called out and stand up to show her I actually have a baby. Jason Manns was added to the guest list at the last minute and I was so thrilled! Amara slept so soundly through his panel; she loves her music! Our autographs for the day included Sam Smith, Emily Swallow, and Brianna Buckmaster. Sam was apparently upset I didn’t actually walk Amara up to her during her panel. Lol, oops. She was in awe by the eye contact my tiny can make. She said “You are not new”. She said Amara is “an old soul”. A mother generally thinks their kid is the best, but hearing how alert and aware your two month old actually is, kinda makes your heart swell. 😍 Emily… ah, how do I put this nicely?.. I’m not a fan. She’s a bit… snatchy. Guess I can’t put that nicely. For those who don’t know, Emily plays the character, Amara on SPN. Coming into this auto, I thought even if this lady thinks I’m a total dweeb and I named my daughter after a SPN character because I’m incredibly obsessed, she would pretend to be amused. Nope. She was so blandly like, “Oh… cooool”. And then proceeded to take this stuffed doll someone made her and wave it in front of her face. I was hardly impressed. Brianna is probably one of my favorite human beings. I walk up and immediately she says “I kinda wanna hold that baby”. I told her she could, but she insisted on keeping the baby comfy. She was pretty entertained by the origin of her name; she said the last reason was the best reason. I just want to be her bff. She’s pretty damn rad. Karaoke…. well. We showed up late so all the guests were already tossed. ESPECIALLY my favorite person if the day. You guessed it. Emily Swallow. One of my roomies of the weekend stayed with me for a bit; Amara slept the whole time. It was the freakin’ Emily Swallow show. She sang over EVERYONE that sang a song. And by sang, I mean yelled with a vibrato. Not. Impressed. Saturday!! I really wanted to watch the first panel, but sleep took over and I slept too late. I love sleep, so I wasn’t to hard on myself. Hah. Mark Sheppard’s panel was entertaining, as usual. He’s so sassy. I attempted to ask him what activities he likes to do with his kids, now that he has some free time. Before I even asked my question, he looked at Amara and said, “That’s not my baby”. Hahaha. After me asking my question and him not answering, I tried to repeat my question and he called me bossy and continued to avoid my question. 😂 there’s a video or two of the ordeal running around out there that I need to acquire. I was pretty bummed he didn’t walked around the audience like he usually does. Idk who did what to him to make him pissed off, but they should be slapped. Misha Collins’ panel was absurd. I laughed so much, I can’t remember too many specifics. The moment I’ll never forget; however, is him asking how to sign “take a dump” in American Sign Language. I died. Matt Cohen, Rob Benedict, and Richard Speight Jr had the last panel. Amara had started to get a little wiggly, so I was in and out for that one. Rachel Miner’s panel… I am too hormonal for that shit. The guys carried her out to the stage and the audience gave her a standing ovation. I wept. She is one inspiration gal. We had a photo op with Brianna and autos with Matt and Mark that day. Our photo with Briana was all thanks to Erin.. Seriously. This girl is the effing best. I can’t brag enough about her. Anyway, back to Briana. When we walked up, I said to her, “You can hold this baby now!”. She did not argue one bit. Chris about died when he say her homemade ‘Wayward AF’ bandana-turned-bandaeu. Mark signed a book my friend gave to Amara, “If I Were a Moose”. Mark’s response? “If I were a moose, I’d kill myself”. Lol. Jesus Christ, Mark. 😂 Matt was cute and sweet as always. Nothing particularly memorable was said. But I do want you all to know that man is getting some of those silver highlights in his hair… Hey. Girl. Hey. Rachel was just as sweet as she was in her panel. She’s is a fighter. I could only hope to be the bad ass this woman is! I had the chance to chat with Jason Manns for a minute. He picked out which album of his Amara would like best. He was so sweet, and I’m so glad he was there. Louden Swain performed a couple acoustic songs in the lobby before signing autos for those that bought some merch. They had they’re SNS album available, so obvioisly I purchased it. Lol they too, were so nice. The talent these men posses is unreal. SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIAL. What’s there to say, that hasn’t already been said. The SNS never disappoints. Louden Swain is PHENOMENAL. Emily was annoying and Brianna nailed it. Oh yeah. And Jensen made an appearance and knocked everyone’s socks off.. or should I say panties? 😉 Fucking SUNDAY, BITCHES. J2 day. This is the day that everyone is anxiously awaiting. The panel was obviously hilarious and fun. These boys NEVER disappoint. There were too many funny moments to explain, but my fav? The endless butt jokes. YouTube the panel if you wanna get in on the jokes. Amara and I had a photo with Jensen and then I have one by myself with Jensen. As soon as I walk up to him and he sees Amara, his mouth drops. I asked, “Would you mind holding her for a photo?” He obviously did not object. Who can resist a tiny baby in a shirt that says ‘World’s cutest Supernatural fan" and a little black tutu with a SPN themed bow on the front of it?? Chris died, once again, after coming on close to check out her outfit. Bless that man! He took three quick shots and printed each of them for me to ensure we got a good one. And then I hand the tiny off and tell Jensen I have one with just myself and he proceeds to give me the best hug, Chris takes the pic, and Jensen gives me a tight squeeze. I tell him thank you, and he says something along the lines of “Congrats, mom”….. and I died. Hahaha. When I go to grab Amara, the head dudes in charge are fawning over her. I’d say her outfit was a success. Coming down the escalator, Gil McKinney came over to take to Amara. This man had been eyeballin’ her all weekend. It was pretty cute and sweet how he approached us. Jason also came over to see her Sunday outfit. I’m telling you, these guys are rad AF. Our autos were at the end of the day, and Amara was getting tired. Thankfully she stayed awake long enough for the two boys to see her. We get up to Jensen and he’s still all about her. He asks her name, and I tell him and the story to go with it. You can tell he’s kinda listening. For comedic value, I decided to say to him, “she’s out souvenir from last year” and the look on his face was priceless. It took a split second for him to register it, but once he did, he chuckled a bit. I thought Jerad was going to steal her. As soon as I walked up, he said “Look at the knees! And those thighs!” He was amazed by how strong she is and couldn’t believe she was only two months old. Now.. this is suppose to be the time I say, “That was that and we went home”……. But no. It. Gets. Better. So Erin and I had stood in line with our weekend roomies. They were toward the end, with maybe a dozen people behind them. Once they went behind the curtain, and Amara was sound asleep in her shoulder, she began walking back to our seats. I told her to slow her roll. I’m thinking, maybe if we linger long enough and stealth enough, some magic will happen…. AND DID IT EVER. Jensen comes out and waves to everyone, waves at Erin and I.. but does a double take when he sees this sleeping ball of chunk on Erin’s shoulder… he then RUNS OVER TO AMARA, PINCHES AT HER SWEET CHUBBY CHEEKS.. AND THEN.. GIVES HER A KISS ON HER CHEEK. JENSEN KISSED MY BABY. I vowed to never wash her again; however she had gotten herself so worked up on the ride home, she projectile vomited ALL OVER ME. It was a wonderful weekend, not too hectic, filled with such wonderful memories that I can’t wait to share with Amara when she’s older. 99% (lol) of the guests were so sweet and supportive of me bringing my tiny. The fans all loved her. I only had a few people harass me about ear protection, of which I brought, one lady get salty about being next to a baby before she had a chance to show her what an angel of a baby she is, and one person suggest I breastfeed in the bathroom after I asked where would he a good spot to sit and feed her. Other than that, everyone was great, I had a great time, and I miss all my ladies!

[a-panda-reads-act-omega]

ACT OMEGA PART 11

THE 27/10/16 UPDATE

ABOUT DAMN TIME I GOT TO HERE AINT IT! Geez, I need to hurry up and get caught up to that new update so I have a good excuse for being lazy. ANyways, this should be the Calliope and Jane interaction. Also, am I the only one who thinks most people pronounce calliope weird? its always like, Call-e-ope-e or cal-i-ope, but I think it’s just Call-e-ope. I dunno, whatta you folks think?

blep

CALLIOPE: (oh!) CALLIOPE: (Um, hello again jane. ^u^)

Dammit she’s adorable.

JANE: (I’m sorry, am I interrupting anything?) JANE: (You seemed to be taking a pretty engrossed gander at that house door thing.) CALLIOPE: (oh no i was jUst admiring it. nothing important.) CALLIOPE: (although... i was doing a little thinking as well.) JANE: (Really? What about?) JANE: (If you don’t mind sharing, that is.) CALLIOPE: (not at all!) CALLIOPE: (well, the main sUbject of my thoUghts has jUst been shock for how i am even here for this moment.) CALLIOPE: (after it became clear that i was never meant to even play the game session i was a part of, despite my foolish hopes...) CALLIOPE: (i was certain that the Ultimate reward was forever oUtside my grasp.) CALLIOPE: (and yet, here i am!) CALLIOPE: (it almost feels like i’m cheating.) CALLIOPE: (i have hardly done anything deserving of any reward, let alone the Ultimate one. u-u;)

Aw, don’t be like that Calliope! You may not have played much of an active role in the story, but  that doesn’t mean you weren’t 100% necessary! Honestly, where would the Alpha Kids be without you? I think you’ve earned this by enduring the bullshit you’re brother has put you through, and doing what was best for the completion of the game, and survival of your friends.

JANE: (That name really is a bit misleading, isn’t it?) JANE: (It seems so... grandiose.) JANE: (I’m not sure if I’m all that fond of it.) CALLIOPE: (really?) JANE: (Mhm.) JANE: (Especially considering, well...) JANE: (My behavior today hasn’t exactly been worthy of accolades either.) JANE: (In fact I think I may have done more harm than good for the majority of my session!) JANE: (Or maybe even further back than that!!) JANE: (I don’t mean to be insensitive when I say this, Callie, but...) JANE: (Throughout this entire mess, at least you have been innocent of any real wrongdoing.) JANE: (Which is more than can be said for me.)

AWGH, dont be like that JANE..... ALl these sad girls need to stop worrying about WORTH n shit. You all played your role dammit. 

CALLIOPE: (oh...) CALLIOPE: (yoU’re referring to the things yoU mentioned in yoUr story?) JANE: (I killed my best friend.) JANE: (And out of such petty jealousy!) JANE: (I might be able to foist blame upon the Batterwitch, for manipulating me into hurting my friends.) JANE: (But she was only able to do that because they were already inclinations I had, deep down!) JANE: (Couldn’t I have resisted more?) JANE: (What does that say about me?)

JANEY

SHUt UR MOUTH

iT says youre a human with human emotions. 

CALLIOPE: (but roxy is here! she’s fine!)

DAYum  RIGHT roxy is fiiiiiine

CALLIOPE: (she may be a slightly different version of roxy than the one yoU knew, bUt certainly that is better than losing her forever, isn’t it?) CALLIOPE: (living in a world withoUt roxy in it...) CALLIOPE: (that woUld sUrely be a terrible fate!)

Yes it would. Because youUUU LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE HEEEEERRRR

JANE: (Oh certainly!) JANE: (You have no idea how relieved I am that despite my horrific deeds, I still have the people that matter most to me in my life.) JANE: (Including my dad!!) JANE: (I’ve missed him so much.) JANE: (I’m almost afraid to ask if he knows about what I did...) JANE: (And if not, would I ever be able to tell him?) JANE: (He’d be so ashamed of me.)

Pretty sure his only emotion is proud. BUT COME ON JANE, youre worrying about the wrong shit. these people, im tellin ya. they never wanna let go of the paST.

CALLIOPE: (jane, i am not very familiar with the concepts of fathers and families.) CALLIOPE: (these are very hUman things which, despite my preoccUpations, are still qUite foreign. u-u;) CALLIOPE: (bUt i think i may be learning slowly by seeing how all of yoU are immediately drawn to each other.) CALLIOPE: (and from what i have learned, i don’t think yoU need to worry, jane.) CALLIOPE: (we are all just glad that yoU are here, i am certain of it!) JANE: (... Thank you, Callie.) JANE: (The same goes for you, you know!) CALLIOPE: (oh yes! I really am qUite happy to be here and not dead!) CALLIOPE: (i jUst wish that i coUld have been a little more UsefUl...) CALLIOPE: (perhaps if i had managed to contribUte at least a little more, i woUld not feel qUite so oUt of place.) JANE: (It’s alright to feel a tad ill at ease.) JANE: (Nobody expects you to be immediately hunky dory with all of this buddy chummy hullabaloo.)

Hah. No comment, other than that I love this line. This interaction  is sweet.

JANE: (In fact I’m certain not even all us humans are on the same page.) JANE: (So your discomfort, in a way, is a very good indication that you fit right in.)

no kidding. Is there anybody here who feels comfortable? Maybe Rose and Jade. 

CALLIOPE: (thank yoU jane. that sentiment really means a lot. ^u^) CALLIOPE: (bUt i mUst admit that it is a little odd to think of myself in sUch a way.) CALLIOPE: (i have always been an oUtsider looking in. never trUly part of anything larger than myself.) CALLIOPE: (thinking aboUt parents and siblings, well.) CALLIOPE: (my only experience with anything of the sort was my brother.)

OH, that actually reminds me of the lil fucker. Where IS caliborn? he defeated his denizen and did a thing with the clock. SOoo, what’s his gameplan now?

JANE: (Oh, yeah. THAT jerk.) JANE: (Do you really need to think about him any more, Callie?) JANE: (I know I will be perfectly happy to never deal with him and his sordid affairs ever again!!) CALLIOPE: (it’s not a particUlarly happy thing to ponder, no.) CALLIOPE: (bUt nonetheless it’s what i have.) CALLIOPE: (and despite how awfUl it may have been, i think it warrants reflection.) CALLIOPE: (there is something aboUt oUr shared experience growing Up that makes me feel... connected to him, still.) CALLIOPE: (i wonder if maybe that connection is at all what family is like.)

I think that connection is what sharing a body for most of your life is like. Thouuugh... They hated each other, sure. But they probably relied on each other for everything as well. So perhaps that could build up a sort of familial attachment.

JANE: (I don’t really know, Calliope. I’m hardly an expert on the subject.) JANE: (But from what I understand, family is really quite a multifaceted thing.) JANE: (And the sort of connection you’re describing could certainly be part of it, I think.) JANE: (Some might say you cannot choose your family, and that they are an important part of who you are no matter what.) JANE: (For better or for worse.)

I mean, I agree with that to some extent. But really it depends on what kinda “family” you’re talking about. Blood, or bonds.

CALLIOPE: (hmmm...)

Ooh, that’s a pretty good panel. Also, his godtier makes me think....... It’s kinda funny how sburb identified calliope and caliborn as two seperate entities, giving them two different godtiers. would it have been like that even if neither have them had taken control?? Bluh, im sure it wont matter.

CALLIOPE: (that may be trUe.) CALLIOPE: (however...) CALLIOPE: (i do feel like whatever relationship we had was not trUly any sort of familial bond.) CALLIOPE: (at least not like anything i have seen thUs far in hUmans.) CALLIOPE: (we called each other siblings oUt of convenience, bUt in reality, we were competitors in a game larger than even that which spawns Universes.) CALLIOPE: (technically, i was the loser in the race to predominate and participate in oUr session.) CALLIOPE: (but in that yet larger game...) CALLIOPE: (which i think one might call the game of life.)

You mean... 

obvious joke im sorry.

CALLIOPE: (it seems like i might be the winner.) CALLIOPE: (i think maybe, given that, i am beginning to Understand what my alternate self meant when she told me to "live"...) CALLIOPE: (becaUse we both know my brother well. and it seems there is no version of him that will ever be able to finish his childish games.) CALLIOPE: (he will stay the way he is forever, never able to move on and jUst live. never knowing that sUch a path, which he views with sUch disdain, is likely far more rewarding!)

Yeah, he doesn’t seem like one to settle down and have a good ol’ time relaxing with friends and family. 

:D

JANE: (Callie, that’s it!!)

:O

CALLIOPE: (hUh??)

JANE: (That’s why it’s called the ultimate reward!) JANE: (We don’t have to play this drab old game anymore.) JANE: (This is our ticket to move on to the much bigger adventure awaiting us.) JANE: (Letting go of the past and learning from it...) JANE: (Puzzling out what it means to have a family.) JANE: (All of that. Living life to the fullest.) JANE: (That’s the ultimate reward!)

You know, that does seem likely. THAT’S probably definitely it. I mean, it’s fitting. the whole GOAL is to get out of this fucking game and live a new life mature in your new universe.

CALLIOPE: (i think yoU’re right, jane!) CALLIOPE: (we jUst stUmbled Upon that realization qUite accidentally, didn’t we?) JANE: (Actually, Callie. I think it might be because you are just that clever and insightful.) CALLIOPE: (oh, shUcks... u^u;) JANE: (You are definitely a winner in my book. And I’m glad you might be a winner in yours, too.) CALLIOPE: (i am certainly getting there.) CALLIOPE: (maybe someday soon i will be able to more fUlly come to terms with all this.) CALLIOPE: (bUt... there’s no rUsh, right?) CALLIOPE: (so long as we are looking forward, instead of back.) JANE: (That’s the ticket!) JANE: (Cheers, to winning!) CALLIOPE: (to winning! ^u^)

Daw, you two. Well, it seems like they had a positive resolution! They’ve discovered what the ultimate reward is! And Callies gona get all good at accepting herself as a big WINNER. HOOray! Im guessing they’ll be moving onto the next pair now, which should be Karkat and Dave.

Yup, character select screen. TO THE DAVEKAT GAYS!

Karkat’s anxious, Dave’s like come on man we fuckin won dont be anxious. 

DAVE: (dude) DAVE: (relax)

KNew it.

DAVE: (i can practically hear you thinking yourself into another shitfit) DAVE: (john looks about ready to twist the shit out of that magic doorknob) DAVE: (i thought youd be relieved or something) KARKAT: (I CAN’T HELP IT.) KARKAT: (I’M NERVOUS, OK?) KARKAT: (LAST TIME I WAS IN THIS POSITION, IT DIDN’T TURN OUT SO WELL.)

OH what could you mean by that? it wasnt so bad. A devil dog appeared slaughtered the fuck out of a door, traveled across your world and destroyed your planets, then murdered all of your dream selves.

KARKAT: (AND I CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL LIKE WE’RE FORGETTING SOMETHING IMPORTANT.) KARKAT: (MAYBE SEVERAL SOMETHINGS.) KARKAT: (LIKE...) KARKAT: (WHERE THE FUCK IS GAMZEE?) KARKAT: (VRISKA JUST SHOVED HIM IN THAT HUNGER TRUNK WHEN SHE REALIZED WE WERE ABOUT TO SHOW UP, AND THEN KEPT HIM THERE SO HE WOULDN’T "CAUSE TROUBLE”.) KARKAT: (BUT I GUESS HE JUST WENT ON AN INTERPLANETARY ADVENTURE! WHERE COULD HE BE? HAS HE BROKEN OUT YET? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS!)

NOpe, he’s still very much trapped in the fridge. 

DAVE: (yeah that is uh) DAVE: (actually kind of concerning) KARKAT: (YOU THINK?!) KARKAT: (AND WHAT ABOUT THE MAYOR? AND THE SPRITES, WHERE DID THEY FUCK OFF TO?) DAVE: (look man well figure it out alright) DAVE: (were not just gonna up and leave without everyone accounted for) DAVE: (like seriously how could we ever abandon the mayor) DAVE: (were going back for him thats not even up for debate) KARKAT: (THANK GOD AT LEAST SOMEONE AROUND HERE HAS THEIR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT.)

FInally, some people who are worrying about the RIGHT things. I mean, jeeez. all these people worrying about their pasts and worth, when they need to be prepared to face a more dangerous threat if one comes. ANYWAys

Thats all for this update. Hope my content was enough to satisfy you... 8 followers?? Jeez. Boy am i POPUlAR. 

Seriously though, I dont know if its just because im starting out, but every follower is feeling like a big deal. Sooo... thanks to you who are following me.