#rkhyunakim

[rksona]

★ — sentimental ;

★ — one minute man !

maybe she’s just being sentimental. even after all this time, there’s still a part of dawon that misses nova—or, to be more specific, some of the nova trainees. that’s not to say that she’d sign with the company again if she had to choice (as she most certainly wouldn’t), but the relationships that had made her time as a nova trainee remotely bearable are relationships that she still misses today. maybe that’s why she’s leaving training early for the day, taking time from her training at royal to spend time with the people that she’s missed so much.

it’s a bittersweet feeling, being so close to sunmi in the environment of nova again. it reminds her of the team she gave up, for nothing more than giving herself a better shot at achieving a dream that she can only assume each of the trainees share—a part of her still feels selfish, even if she still believes her decision to have been the right one. each moment back at nova is difficult—each second feels like a lifetime. there’s a tight feeling in her stomach, a fear that others are looking at her scornfully, bitter over her decision. she tries to push these fears aside, hoping to make this a sweet memory instead. it’s a reunion of sorts, and she hopes to cherish it—though, in a way, she thinks it’s also a way for her to say goodbye.

and so she smiles, appreciating the moment for what it is, thinking back on all of the good nova has done for her. every conversation, every person, every relationship—it’s all gotten her to where she is today. as she dances, she remembers her early days at nova, when everything had felt so brand new to her—so unfamiliar and frightening. she thinks of how much she’s grown since then, of just how far she’s managed to come. she couldn’t have done it without sunmi; without wendy; without hyuna; without jin.

thank you, nova... for everything.

[rkwendy]

Boo You, Whore | Solo

Son Seungwan - Nova Entertainment April 2018 - Acting Evaluation Scene: Four-Way Call from Mean Girls With @rkhyunakim @rkmin @bambamrk

When Wendy was tossing around ideas what she can do for the evaluation, she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do. She originally wanted to do a scene from either Sailor Moon or some foreign-language musical. However, she realized that trying to master both another language and her acting was more work than she’d like. It could end up blowing up in her face rather than being rewarded for the risks she’d be taking. The perfect idea had come to her when she heard of Mean Girls the musical. It hasn’t been performed outside of USA, but she had managed to get hold of bootleg copies. 

Nothing in the musical caught her attention, to her disappointment, so she had turned to the original movie to draw some inspiration. One scene caught her attention more than the others. Of course, it helped that at the end was an iconic line she still likes saying even today.  Honestly, she hopes that the coaches don’t murder her for choosing to do a scene that involves the use of foul language. Oh well, too late for regrets. But either way, she thinks this evaluation will be interesting.

Her next problem was getting people to do the scene with her. After all, she needed three other people to pull it off with her. To her luck, Hyuna unni, Min sunbaenim, and Bambam oppa had all been interested to work with her for this evaluation. It also helped that most of them also spoke English, making the work and distribution of roles easier.

Despite being in the same company and having worked together several times, Wendy feels as if there’s still a bit of a wall set up between her and the rest of them. She gets along great with Hyuna unni, but a small part of her still approaches both Min sunbaenim and Bambam oppa with caution. As much as she’s fine with working with them both in a professional setting, she isn’t sure where she lies with them both. It’s not that she’s scared of them, but she sometimes feels like there’s a wall between them that she can’t break through.

With these feelings in mind, Wendy chuckles at the irony of the scene they’re doing. People revealing how they truly feel about each other. Despite having these feelings, they worked hard enough to make things perfect. It was much easier to practice since they’re all under the same company. As the evaluations approach, Wendy feels a little bit more confident coming into this evaluation now that she’s gotten some help from master actress Chaeyoung. She also prays that her chemistry with Hyuna unni, Min sunbaenim, and Bambam oppa has improved with all the times they practiced together.

Wendy plays Gretchen Weiners, the recently betrayed friend of queen bee Regina George. Her task is to enter Gretchen’s mind and bring out the emotions and thoughts the rich heiress is feeling as she hears her so-called friends say mean things about her.

“Hold on,” she says after hearing everything she just did. Regina just called her ugly and unfit for Spring Fling Queen. What kind of friend does that? And holy shit… Did she just call Karen a slut? She lets out a soft sob, as she saw Gretchen do in the movie. She’s barely holding it together as she calls Karen.

Wendy had studied and listened to footage of herself speaking while crying back when she was still skating competitively. There’s also the help she got from Chaeyoung to make her acting seem more natural and less character-like. She has to look like she’s just barely keeping it together, and she has to sound like it too.

Min sunbaenim as Karen barely gets to say hello, when she launches into the heart of the matter at once. “If someone said something bad about you, you’d want me to tell you, right?”

Wendy casts aside any notion of having to be more respectful toward Min sunbaenim. She pretends that she’s not older and a senior to be respected. In this scene, they are the same aged friends who have just been insulted behind their backs. They aren’t Wendy and Min sunbaenim right now, she tells herself. They are Gretchen Weiners and Karen Smith talking about Regina George.

Karen clearly doesn’t see the urgency of the situation. “What if it was someone you thought was your friend?”

After being brushed off, she makes a face. Clearly she’s not the priority here. Ugh. “I’m not taking this anymore,” she whispers to herself.

At Cady’s encouragement, she nods to herself. At least someone appreciates her worth as a human being.

Karen comes back, saying that Regina invited her to hang out without Gretchen.

“Do not hang out with her,” Wendy as Gretchen all but commands. She attempts to keep her face neutral, opting to convey the urgency in her voice.

Why?

Poor Karen. She deserves to know, but at the same time, Gretchen isn’t sure she should tell… She settles for “You don’t want me to tell you,” with a sigh.

Despite the assurance that she can tell Karen, Gretchen still has reservations. She makes a face when Karen clicks away.

Oh my God. She’s so annoying.

Wendy widens her eyes a little bit, to convey a mix of confusion and suspicion. Was this even supposed to be for her? “Who is?” she asks.

Who’s this?

“Gretchen…” she says slowly, trying to hide the suspicion and confusion from her voice.

Right, hold on…

While waiting for Karen to come back, Wendy moves over to the mirror to study her face. When that gets boring, she opts to tap her fingers against her legs. At this rate, she wouldn’t be surprised if Karen and Regina were talking about her behind her back. What is this betrayal? That’s it. She’s telling Karen.

Wendy makes sure to shift her eyes around her imaginary room, before settling on a random coach and nodding to herself, as if she had just made an important decision.

Ok, what is it? “Regina says everyone hates you because you’re such a slut,” she says as quickly as she can. She whispered for fear someone else would overhear. She has to say it fast before she has second thoughts. Karen deserves to know the truth. She deserves to know who the real snake is around here.

She said that?

Gretchen almost feels bad, but she owes Karen the truth. Wendy makes sure to show that in her face by looking to the side and keeping her mouth set in a firm line. “You didn’t hear it from me.”

She waits for Karen to put the phone down. Now they’re even. She puts on her best ‘sorry not sorry face’ when Cady points out that she was a little harsh.

She lets out a soft scoff. “Ugh, whatever, she has a right to know.”

She puts the phone down, now that her part is done.

After Hyuna unni says “Boo you, whore,” Wendy lets out a sigh of relief as they all bow. This was one of the more fun evaluations she had done, but she also hopes that this helps improve her relationship with the more senior trainees in the company. It’s been two years, and she hopes that this helps bring them a little closer.  

[novaent]

// ( ★ ) DANCE CLASS ANNOUNCEMENT !

The news about the special dance classes quickly spreads around the building. A lot of trainees seem to be excited about attending but, before any groundless information starts circulating, the coaches call for a meeting inside the Nova building gym.

After everybody appears to have arrived, one of the dance coaches calls for attention before she starts speaking. “Good afternoon. As most of you may know by now, some of Nova’s artists will be giving a few dance classes at 5billion Dance Studio. A few of you will get to attend as students, of course, but some others will get a different role.” The woman scans the crowd to check for their presence before announcing their names. “Ha Huidong, Kim Hyuna, Lee Sunmi and Yoo Changhyun will serve as assistants for both the artists and Mia Kim during the classes.”

She doesn’t let people start whispering, quickly waving a hand to keep the attention on her. “As for the rest of you, entrance for the classes will be free of charge, though you are not obligated to attend. Still, I don’t know why you’d like to skip such an opportunity.” The coach had sounded enthusiastic up until to that point, as if someone decided not to go, then the coach would need to stay behind unhappily as well. “Don’t think of this as some fun trip because it isn’t — this is meant to substitute your regular dance classes. Your peers will be working as teachers alongside professionals while you’ll be learning from them. I hope you’ll reflect about this and work on bettering your own skills so that you can one day make Nova proud.”

Once the speech is over the woman claps her hands as a notice that the meeting was over. “Now go back to your schedules. Those of you who I called the names of earlier should stay to hear all the extra details needed.”

[ From this point on the information is only relevant to the trainees chosen as assistants and do not apply to the rest. ]

On May 5th, all four of the chosen trainees will head to the 5Billion Dance Studio where they’ll learn the choreographies from Mia herself and a few other dancers so they’ll know it on the day of the official class. Mia and the others will work on a rotational schedule so they can go back to their own job at the studio. The idols will not be present during this learning session since their schedules may conflict. The trainees should arrive there by their own means at 9am and will get to leave whenever they finished learning their choreographies, heading right back to their usual schedules afterwards.

To win +3 DANCING POINTS, +2 DEBUT POINTS and +1WK HIP HOP, write a 300+ words solo or a four post thread with another assistant trainee about your muse practicing for dance class. It doesn’t necessarily need to be about the day spent in the studio. Everyone has until midnight at the end of Wednesday, May 23rd, to write for this event. Please tag all posts related as #rkicassistant. Threads may be continued after the deadline but requirements must be achieved before it to count for points.

IDOL CLASS ASSISTANT (for the May 30 verification form)

[link to solo or thread]

+3 DANCING POINTS +2 DEBUT POINTS +1WK HIP HOP (number of times taken and current total) NEW DEBUTS POINTS TOTAL:

[rkmeiqi-archived]

⭐️ — move your body.

@rkhyunakim

getting into the swing of things regarding trainee life is fairly easy for meiqi. in fact, she quite enjoys the fact that she can skip non-important classes at school to train throughout the day, and it’s an opportunity to develop new friendships with people similar to her, all the while doing what she enjoys. though it’s tough catching up on sleep, so far the experience is worth it.

meiqi’s staying back late after the regular schedule to work on her dancing, water bottle clutched in hand as she enters the dance room. she half expects it to be empty, but is pleasantly surprised when she sees another trainee. kim hyuna, if she recalls correctly, is one of the most beautiful specimens meiqi has ever set eyes on, with brown flowy hair and a generous body. anyone would be jealous of her.

bowing to her senior, meiqi greets the older woman. “hello, hyuna sunbae.” she sets her water bottle aside, before beginning to stretch out her sore muscles. her gym routine earlier in the day was brutal, meiqi having never excelled in upper body strength. “what are you doing here?”

[bambamrk]

long time / bambam & hyuna

his lunch was over a little bit before he expected. he still had some time left before his next lesson but it was never to early to get started. with those thoughts he quickly made his way to one of the dance rooms and walked in without checking to see if it was in use. he stopped in his tracks when he saw hyuna and he was about to leave back out with a small 'sorry'

at least that was the plan before realized they hadn't talked in a while. of course, they'd see each other everyday because of training but it didn't mean they often spoke to each other. "how have you been? i didn't mean to interrupt you, i didn't realize someone was using the room."

[rkhugo]

love me, love me ! @hyuna

some people in nova were being rather accepting of how extra hugo was, but of course he had to expect that some wouldn't be so keen on his ginormous personality. it was bad enough he had the lime green hair already, making him stand out. he was a goof on top of it and expecting nova’s inhabitants to just roll with a goober like him would be unrealistic to say the least. he liked to be optimistic though, and think that everyone would warm up to him eventually, or at least appreciate some parts of him. 

he entered another rehearsal studio, this one clearly used for dance, finding a woman in there who looked very young - definitely a trainee. “hi!” he exclaimed, pretty loudly actually, he’d probably be catching her off guard. he entered fully and let the door close behind him, doing a full ninety degree bow before walking over. “you must be one of my sunbaes! i’m hugo, a new addition to the nova family.”

his greeting seemed normal enough, but then he got closer, and took a whiff of the air around her, stroking his chin. “hm, you smell like... hard work. and butterscotch.” he took another sniff, flaring his nostrils a few times. “with a hint of red pepper paste. did you have kimchi today already? i love eating kimchi for breakfast, just over some rice. perfect start to the day!”

@rkhyunakim

[rkxiao]

☆ Guilt-Free Christmas Goods ;

Hyuna knows that with the holiday season, there’s temptations everywhere. The things she’s thought of doing is likely to get her in trouble, and also means a lot of money that might go to waste if the coaches catch her. 

That’s why she goes to the extensive effort of adding little tags of information so that the trainees won’t get in trouble. She takes note of which trainees she’s passed and slipped a red pouch in their bags or in their hands, walking away before they can get a good look at her face. The bags are labeled with ‘Merry Christmas!’ in neat cursive on a white tag.

Inside each pouch are three red sheer pouches, with a label to indicate what they are, and an information tidbit written below the snack name. Each one had been made by hand by the female. The first pouch is a package of peppermint hot chocolate cookies, the tag reading:

The flavonoids in hot cocoa help your body process nitric oxide, which is why it can improve blood flow, help lower your blood pressure and improve heart health. 

The second pouch contains peppermint meringue cookies and on the tag reads:

This meringue cookie was freshly made with egg yolks, which are low in fat and are cholesterol free, with some protein! Peppermint extract used in the recipe can also help calm your digestive system.

In the third and final bag, are a stack of Christmas tree-shaped gingerbread cookies that she has written:

Gingerbread cookies contain folate, which are good for red blood cell production and healthy cell growth. It also has iron, which tissue health by helping red blood cells carry oxygen to your tissues. 

It doesn’t hurt to have a guilt-free Christmas, does it?

she didn’t expect it. there were still several days to pass before christmas and receiving a red pouch on her way back to practice came as a big surprise. hyuna stopped and walked away too fast, not giving the younger time to thank her. it still made her smile, writing a note in her head to thank her later. she’d probably forget, but it was worth the try. 

the things inside were even better than expected. food.

the previous year cheng xiao wasn’t allowed to eat anything tasty, and as soon as she saw the cookies the girl knew it would be smart to eat them before the coaches could announce another thing that’d ruin her christmas. she stuffed it inside her coat and walked away so no one would try to take it. it’d be her snack of the day.

[rkness]

run, don’t walk.

@rkhyunakim

running shouldn’t be too bad. famous last words she ever spoke. realistically speaking, it isn’t that bad-- or rather, it shouldn’t be that bad. but sic is sic, she’s jessica jung-- notorious for sleeping throughout her school years. physical classes have never been her strong suit. she’s not...unfit by any means. she walks a lot, and now with dance practice she’s a little more fit than before. but just because she’s...a little fit doesn’t mean she’s very fit. 

exercise still makes her want to rot in a ditch somewhere.

after the sprint, she tosses herself to the ground, face first-- wheezing. she had pushed herself, ran the fastest she could, because ten meters isn’t that bad right? right? nope. even after all that, sic feels like garbage. lifting her head, she turns her face slightly to address the girl by her, eyes dead as she groans.

“hey, you think you can bury me when this is all over?” her voice is a dull whisper, hoarse and pained. “this is awful. this is torture. they want to kill us, i’m convinced.”

[soljirk]

✨ fresh meat

( a starter for @rkhyunakim )

suji had never been a shy person, but starting as a new trainee left her a little shell-shocked. her bubbly personality was slightly suppressed as she wandered the halls of nova. everyone was so talented that it almost left her feeling like she didn’t belong. that she wasn’t good enough. ‘shut up, bae suji. you were chosen for a reason. don’t think you can’t get where they are with some work.’ she repeated the words to herself as she continued to walk before stumbling across a familiar face ( not because she actually knew her but because she had seen her from nova events before ). “oh, hyuna sunbaenim,” she exclaimed, bowing her head. “ah, i’m bae suji. i’m new here.” she introduced herself, cringing just slightly at her own awkwardness.

[bangrk]

[ 💌 yongguk. ] Knock knock. [ 💌 yongguk. ] Bang.

[txt] => rebel girl ♫

-> -opens the door--> -dies-

[rkleedongminie]

august evaluation performing - beautiful liar ( vixx lr ) vocal part ( leo ) with @rkhyunakim

( tw anxiety, abuse mention, self doubt ) a performance with someone he doesn’t know.

It was almost like they had made this months evaluations so that dongmin was doomed to fail. Anyone in royal he could have probably approached ( with the exception of the resident ghost ) to maybe ask to work together. There’s a handful of trainee’s here he would love to work with. Yet that’s not what this evaluation involved. No, of course not. He has to find someone new, someone he hasn’t worked with. As if that is such an easy thing for him to do.

He hadn’t known how to approach this either. Does he go to an instructor and asked for an idea of who to talk with, or just be assigned someone? There’s no way dongmin can work up the nerve to talk to someone on his own, never the less figure out who doesn’t have a partner yet. So he’d stressed about it for a few days. He’d been lucky when hyuna sunbae approached him out of the blue, no matter how startled he had been. She had been very upfront, and soon dongmin found himself a partner and a song to learn.

Not that any of that put him at ease. It’s summer break, but he’s never felt so stressed.

Between the eval, normal practice, and the issues growing at home. Dongmin was just waiting for the thread to snap, for something to fall out of line and everything become a mess. His anxiety was eating him alive, and it was probably showing during training. He hated it, hated letting his emotions cloud his ability to focus so much. Hated causing problems for hyuna, not wanting to mess up the evaluation for both of them. After she had approached him despite not having too, he wanted to be a good partner for her. so her that her decision to choose him as a partner hadn’t been a bad one and that they could put on a good performance. They could make the most of this.

And then… thinks snapped.

If dongmin would admit this to himself, he’d been waiting for this for a few years. His relationship with his dad has always been a rough one, and the teen can’t find any good memories with his father, no matter how he tries. The good memories are simply not having many memories. Because memories with his dad do not usually end well.

Like water reaching it’s boiling point, thinks got bad at home. Leaving dongmin bruised both physically and mentally, and very unsure of his position in life. Everything he had done was for his parents, everything he was working for was for them. He was doing all this for them. Dongmin found himself staring blankly at the mark on his face, thoughts spinning around a mile a minute but nothing really connecting. He felt lost, confused. Even in practice, surrounded by his sunbae’s that he has come to adore tremendously, dongmin felt confused. He still wanted… desired to do well. Still had the drive to show everyone that he belongs in royal entertainment. He still wanted to do well with this evaluation and make hyuna glad she choose him.

But… it was muddled. Trapped under self doubt, and never ending anxiety—mixed with exhaustion, and pain. He’s only 15, just starting high school, not even close to being considered an adult. Yet he’s having to deal with so many adult things. He’s never thought he could make a decision himself, always looking for his parents opinion on things. What is he to do now?

His talk with hyuna shook sometime in side him, waking a part of him he wasn’t aware of. Slowly, as are most internal processes, dongmin realized something. sure, he started down this path because of his parents, but that’s not why he’s still here. Not why he puts in more effort with every new task. They aren’t why he takes interest in areas other than singing—why he wants to learn to compose. Maybe… maybe he’s singing… for another reason.

The day of the evaluation seemed to arrive must faster than dongmin anticipated. He felt unprepared, even after they had warmed up, he still felt like they—he—needed more time. he was going to forget the lyrics, or not hit the notes high enough, or he voice would break. Something—something was going to go wrong, and dongmin felt himself grow more and more breathless as he thought. His hands trembling, even as his expression stayed blank.

But when his eyes landed on hyuna sunbae, he felt himself relax a little. Remembering what he had told himself when he agreed to be her partner.  Knowing that if he didn’t calm down then there was no way he would get through this and he would let her down. He would let the instructors down, and he would let himself down. He couldn’t… he couldn’t lose himself right now. he couldn’t forget what he came he for, what he’s been working so hard for. Each evaluation is another step to proving himself in this business, no matter how he got her. no matter what pushed him here.

He hands raised to the keys of the piano, breath leaving his lips a little shakily, before he played the first few notes of the song. Wanting to warm his voice up, get a feel for the chords again. he’d decided not to play while singing, no matter how much he thinks he can do it, the teen figured it’d be easier to focus on one thing right now.

And one thing he focused on.

The song flowed through him, like it has for days now. the hours upon hours of extra practice he has put in showing. The nights he would stay up just to read through the lyrics again, and again. making sure to not only input the words, but the meaning in his mind. Knowing that singing isn’t only repeating the words on the paper, but… trying to impart the message, the emotion behind the words. Wanting the people listening to understand what story that is being painted for them.

Dongmin wants to show that he is capable of being a singer. That he’s capable of being in the light. he puts his all into the evaluation. Not even hesitating to break into the four connecting high notes near the end of the song. Forgetting all his hesitation he had experienced while practicing, worried he wouldn’t be able to hit them, or get that high. Worried he wouldn’t be able to extend his breathe for that long.

It’s astonishing what a person can do when they believe in themselves. Dongmin has a way to go with this. a hard hill to climb over before he can really say he believes in himself. But until then, he will do everything he can to prove himself. Not only to prove to those in royal, but also to himself.

As the song comes to an end, the teen has to blink back tears, making sure not to make it obvious. A wave of irony hitting him as they close up their performance. Dongmin making sure to thank everyone they performed before, as well as hyuna for coming to him.

Such irony that he’d become a beautiful liar himself.  

[rkwendy]

Santa Serenade | Solo

Son Seungwan - Nova Ent December 2017 Evaluation  Line Distribution: Nova Girls Stages | Santa’s Coming For Us | Do You Want to Build a Snowman

Wendy’s not going to lie. She has been dependent on ginger tea and lots of vitamin C to keep her voice intact with all the singing she’ll be doing tonight. She’s flattered that the coaches trust her and her skills enough to include her in special stages besides the performances with her unnies at Nova. She likes to think that maybe she has grown and improved in the year and a half she’s been with the company. She isn’t certain how much growing she has done and still has to do, but she wants to keep doing well to earn the coaches faith in her to do more.   

It’s always fun performing with Kaeun unni, Hyuna unni, and Min sunbaenim. This also marks the first performance with Suji unni. Wendy may have been more of a “loop The Nutcracker Suite in lieu of Christmas carols” type of girl, but she had developed a soft spot for the first song she’s performing for the night. Ariana Grande’s “Santa Tell Me” is relatable, in a way that she hopes that a person she’d have a crush on would still be around next year. She can’t get anyone to stay, case and point: Toshi and Minhyun oppa. (To be fair, Minhyun oppa did shoot her down on Day 1, but he was always there as an older brother slash handsome friend to her). 

There’s also the unspoken pressure that she has to do well to represent Nova in the joint collaboration with the girls from other companies. It’s an honor to share the stage with three MGA season three coaches from different companies. Rumor had it that the girls she was performing with were the among the best trainee vocalists in their respective companies. She had heard three of them sing back at the MGAs, and she had even shared a stage with Taeyeon sunbaenim. However, it still doesn’t stop her from being impressed whenever she hears them sing in practice, and every day she wonders what she did in her past life to be worthy of standing and singing on the same stage with some respected senior trainees. 

There seems to be an unspoken agreement among the females of Nova that they would all rather die than do aegyo. However, when push came to shove and their backs were against the wall, there was a surprising reveal of aegyo skills. Min sunbaenim was a revelation of sorts to Wendy, that she found herself taking notes on how to pull it off as naturally as Min sunbaenim did. If she respected Min sunbaenim before, then Wendy’s respect grew even more. It takes talent to pull off aegyo and be cute without being cringe-worthy. Wendy hopes and prays that her cutesy acting and smiling onstage didn’t come across as laughable. It took her hours to practice e expressions in front of the mirror between study breaks. 

Finally, there was the final stage. It’s been long since she got to share a stage with Yeri, one of her long-time best friends. She also recognizes the two boys: one of them is the one with Soojung a lot while the other was one of those attractive faces she accepted a Royal flyer from. During practice, they realized that they who got solo lines were the youngest trainees of their respective companies. Wendy almost wants to laugh at the irony of it all, yet it also makes sense.  The program ends with a Disney song... and that they youngest kids lead it. As much Wendy has professed to banning anyone within her vicinity from singing this song when the movie first came out, it has grown on her. Oh... if her other friends could see her now. (She bets Seulgi and Joy are giggling somewhere as they remember her screams of agony when she got sick of the song). They’d probably be laughing at her for singing the song she once loathed. 

As she and Dongmin sing the last line, Wendy lets out a sigh of relief. It’s over... They did well enough to entertain the people at the plaza. Maybe... just maybe... she’s on the right track in this whole idol thing after all. 

[rksona]

June Evaluation, 2017;

🎼 remember — apink she’z — nova girls

june was finally coming to a close, and dawon was determined to end it on a positive note.

while it could easily be considered the worst month she’s had in years, given just how low she’s felt from start to finish, dawon didn’t want to abandon hope. hope is what’s gotten her this far, and hope is the only reason that she continued to persevere. the hope that, one day, she’d make it through this, even if that felt like a far and distant future.

preparations for the evals had gone smoothly, or at least, they’d gone smoothly for dawon. she’d taken a backseat while a few of the other trainees had been hard at work, deciding how the entire performance was going to go. wendy was in charge of line distribution, and she’d taken it upon herself to make dawon the main vocalist. it was ideal, though a part of dawon had felt apprehensive. was she even capable of being the main vocalist right now? after all, she’s been an emotional wreck for the majority of the month—but her newfound determination to not let the team down would have to get her through.

almost all of her free time was dedicated to familiarizing herself with the choreography. she had needed a bit of help learning it at first—help which, to dawon’s relief, min was eager to provide. from there, it had taken hardly any time at all for dawon to get the idea of things—the choreography wasn’t especially difficult to learn, and the training she's received at nova thus far should help to execute it decently. while it was obvious that she wouldn’t be the most impressive dancer on the stage, she could only hope that she wouldn’t be the worst, either.

the music begins as she’s crouched on the ground, and it almost feels like the calm before the storm. could something go wrong? she has no time for doubt, however, not now—now was the time for action, and she’s determined to make it through this month’s evaluation without any problems like she’d faced last month. the fact that she’d actually gotten to practice this time around served to ease her nerves somewhat, but not entirely.

함께 떠나요 시원한 바람 속에 오늘은 다 잊고 그때 우리처럼

when it’s finally her time to sing, dawon tries to ignore the audience, hoping that she’ll manage to let go and live in the moment. she’s reminiscing about a happier time in her life—a time when she sang because it was fun—because it was something that she enjoyed—because it was something that she loved to do rather than something she felt obligated to do. things were so much simpler then, and she wasn’t burdened with even half of the fears that she faced now. if only those times hadn’t ended what felt like an eternity ago.

시간이 멈춰진 듯이 언제나 바랬듯이  REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER

for the first time in a quite some time, her lips manage to form a genuine smile throughout the entirety of the performance. she’s not entirely sure where this new optimism stems from, but she’ll be the last one to complain. maybe she’s starting to realize that she was actually capable of making it through this chapter of her life, no matter how difficult it had proved to be up to this point. while her struggles may be far from over, somehow, things were beginning to feel a little easier to bear.

함께 떠나요 시원한 바람 속에 오늘은 다 잊고 그때 우리처럼

was it even possible to return to the way things used to be? before yoo jiae—before taeha—before the accident—before the loss of her grandfather? would she ever be able to perform freely, unburdened by the sins of her past, again? only time will tell, but, for now, she has to believe that it’s possible. she has to believe that things will get easier. she’s tired of being driven by tragedy. she’s tired of allowing it to define everything that she is. she’s tired of feeling like she’s nothing more than what her past has forced her to be.

시간이 멈춰진 듯이 언제나 바랬듯이 REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER

if i can live through this, i can do anything. it’s something that junyeong recently said to her, a lyric from a song that he enjoys. junyeong’s seemed rather persistent in helping dawon forgive herself for her past lately, and with good reason; every low mood can ultimately be linked to her past rather than her present or future. but was it possible for dawon to forgive herself for something so terrible that she felt she was responsible for? in her mind, she had ruined junyeong’s life—so why was he still trying so hard to improve hers?

우리 더 늦기 전에

she wants nothing more than to keep moving forward, so why has she always felt the need to look back? was there something in her past that was preventing her from moving on? her past is what made her who she is, she knows—she doesn’t want to forget it, she just wishes that she could make peace with it. while the solution wasn’t going to come overnight, she finds herself yearning to move on—yearning to find that same happiness that had helped her to discover her dream of becoming a singer in the first place, before it’s too late.

어제처럼 느껴지는 순간

she’s spent so much time wanting to succeed for others that she’s forgotten what it’s like to want to succeed for herself. it’s not that she wants to stop drawing strength from others, but more so that she wants to remember what it’s like to believe in herself, too. maybe that’s something that she could work on and eventually learn to do with time; after all, anything is possible, and it felt like a goal that was worth achieving.

시간이 멈춰진 듯이 언제나 바랬듯이 REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER

she’s wanted this for so long, yet somehow dawon had lost sight of her dream as she became obsessed with the idea of redeeming herself for her past actions. she had forgotten that this was something that she wanted to do rather than something that she had to do. but, now, dawon was beginning to realize all of the hard work that she’s put forth to get where she is now, and she knows that her younger self would be proud of just how far she’s managed to come.

and, for the first time in a long time, dawon felt like things might be okay.

[rkmason]

@yienrk​, @rkhyunakim​

ymt95; no one can and will ever thirst on you more than me. thats what bros are here for ya know hyunakiim: BOIIII LOL please. I'm not thirsty to get dirty in that kind of water.

lastromeo: @ymt95 I feel ya. Where’s the pics for me to thirst on you huh? I’m serious. Bring out those 💪    last romeo: @hyunakiim You tryna say you’d get dirty somewhere else? I see, I see ㅎㅎ

[rkhoshi-blog]

long time no see {ha;sy}

{soundbox studio, jung-gu}   {july 2nd, 2017} @rkhyunakim

23:47. Soonyoung checked the time again while walking up to the door and pushing it open. The studio was halfway from his last delivery back home so it wouldn’t be much of a detour if it’d be already closed but he didn’t know what other time to come by so he hoped that the information online was right and the Soundbox would be open for another 13 minutes.

A sigh of relief was leaving his lips as the door swung open and he stepped into the lobby of the dance studio. For once he wasn’t too late and this time it was worth rushing over at least two red traffic lights – those were the ones he noticed – and risking to get a ticket for parking the scooter right in front of the building, just barely leaving enough space to enter or leave it. He took a short look around, scanning the area to make sure he’s right, and immediately bowed after spotting someone at the reception desk.

“I’m sorry for the inconvinience, I hope it’s okay I’m so late and I’m not bothering you” only after he apologized Soonyoung is lifting his head again and only stopping to talk for a mere second, “I’m just here to take a quick look around. I’m a dancer and I’m giving lessons every now and then but my studio is closed for renovations right now so I’m looking for another…”

His explanations were actually way longer but the moment he set eyes on the woman at the desk he forgot all of it and stopped mid-sentence. It’s been years since he saw a part of his family the last time – actually Soonyoung didn’t care much about it after his parents kicked him out for trying to pursue his dream – so he wasn’t sure if he would even recognize his relatives anymore. But this face was just too familiar to him to ignore that feeling dwelling in his chest. He knew that woman. And he might have been crazy for this one second but he actually knew exactly who she was despite knowing that it couldn’t be.

“I….eh… Hyuna?” his voice is barely about a whisper and his body not able to move a single inch. It’s been so many years since he seen his cousin the last time and from everything he heard back then he had assumed she might be dead.

[rktxshi-blog]

☠ `Trainee Stage

Through most of his close friends and his own twin, Toshi could say he knows what to expect. On the other hand, having not personally experienced being a trainee yet, he really has no idea what he got himself into. It was a good thing he knew a few people already signed in the company his now working under, although he has yet to see any of them. 

Quickly finishing up breakfast, one would think he was roaming around the corridors aimlessly. When in reality the newbie has already memorized half of the building’s routes. If his calculations were correct, the set up on the other half would be symmetrical with the wing his currently in.   

Turning into one of the mazed corridors, Toshi found himself a few steps away from a familiar face. “Oh- Hyuna-noona.” Bowing down politely, smiling brightly at his sunbae from soundbox. “How’s it going?”

@rkhyunakim