rksona

[rksona]

the dress rehearsal on stage goes well enough, though, if she were being honest, dawon could hardly keep her eyes open for any of it. the constantly hectic schedules are taking a toll on her, especially considering her recent lack of sleep; it’s not good for her, she knows, but it’s not like she has any other choice. in an attempt to stay awake, she simply tries to focus entirely on the task at hand, whatever that might be at any given time. it’s a decent enough strategy, though it still leaves much to be desired. a good nap would go a long way.

that’s what makes her so ecstatic once the dress rehearsal finally comes to an end. not only are they given time to eat, but they’re actually given time to nap as well. dawon grabs a quick snack before settling down somewhere decently comfortable, her heavy eyelids threatening to get the best of her with each passing second. i at least want to finish my snack, she thinks to herself, hoping to garner enough motivation to stay awake for just a little while longer. it works, luckily, and she’s able to finish her snack in peace, a smile of contentment resting on her lips.

she doesn’t hesitate before leaning back, allowing her eyes to flicker shut at long last. surprisingly, she doesn’t fall asleep right away, instead finding that her mind is insistent on wandering during the one time she’d prefer to have a clear mind. she finds herself thinking of everything else left to do in the day, and, of all things to keep her awake, she’s already dwelling on the disappointment she’ll feel when it’s time to finally wake up.

finally, it doesn’t matter how much she has on her mind, as she finally manages to drift off into a deep (albeit brief) sleep.

[rksona]

the meeting time with the fans has to be one of dawon’s favorite portions of their schedules. it’s so great to meet people who are actually interested in being there for her. they support her and the other members of luxe, and it’s them who will determine just how far luxe goes as a group. at this point, everything they do will, in some way, be for the fans. it’s enough to provide dawon with a wholesome feeling in her heart, a warm, excitable smile present on her lips.

two years ago, she would have never imagined something like this. it was outside all realm of possibility then, though, now, it had somehow managed to turn into her reality. this is all too surreal, she thinks to herself, biting down on her lower lip as she tries to process some of the emotions she’s experiencing. all of the hard work they’ve put into becoming idols is finally paying off, and the fans in front of them are the reason they will succeed.

they see and appreciate all of the work we’ve put in, dawon thinks to herself, smiling fondly at the thought. it’s enough to remind her that, no matter how tiring her journey up to this point has been, each and every step has been worth it. everything that she’s gone through has been worth it, and now each of her wildest dreams were finally coming true. for once in her life, dawon actually allows herself to feel lucky. it’s not everyone that gets to experience their dreams like this, only she does. to make things better, she’s surrounded by a group of girls that she loves with all of her heart; in the end, she thinks, things worked out pretty well for her. looks like all of that superstition finally paid off.

[rksona]

music bank. while it wasn’t at the forefront of music shows that dawon was excited about performing on, it still fills her with a certain level of accomplishment. admittedly, she’s quite tired, the week’s schedule already managing to take a toll on her. she can tell that the other girls are tired, too, even if they don’t explicitly say it. who wouldn’t be tired? they’ve been working nonstop for days on end, their schedules now that they’ve debuted already far more hectic than anything dawon’s experienced before.

she’s getting her makeup done by a stylist when she almost falls asleep for the nth time. dawon wants nothing more than to find a quiet place and take a nap, but she knows all too well that something like that would be impossible. she’d undoubtedly be scolded, which, in all honesty, is something that she hopes to avoid for as long as she possibly can. she wonders, humorously, what might happen if she were to fall asleep on broadcast; would she get into trouble, or would it simply be a humorous moment for everyone to enjoy?

once the stylist is finally done, preparations continue for the show. dawon wonders, as the time passes on, what luxe may look like once they aren’t rookies. will they be able to achieve multiple music show wins in the future, or is that something outside of the realm of possibilities? she likes to believe that it will happen, one day, even if it’s almost certain that today is not that day. as rookies, dawon knows that luxe still has a very long way to go. still, though, it’s a pleasant thought when she thinks of everything that luxe could be, given enough time. one day they’d make it, even if they haven’t fully reached that point yet. all we need is experience, she thinks to herself.

[rksona]

Wjsn/cosmic girls jacket photoshoot Dream your Dream / Nam Dawon

[rksona]

dawon draws in a deep breath, her heart once more feeling as though it may beat out of her chest. there’s a certain nervousness suddenly overtaking her, one of her greatest dreams about to finally come true. though it was nowhere near as big of a dream as becoming an idol, as she achieved not too long ago, it was still a dream; the small scale didn’t make it any less meaningful to her.

it was almost time for her first stage on m!countdown, and she’s unable to recall just how many times she’s fantasized about this. countless nights spent staying up in her room singing her heart out, envisioning herself on that stage. only this time, it wouldn’t be a fantasy; this is her real life now, something that she’s still struggling to get used to. this still hardly feels real to her, though she tries not to dwell too much on the thought.

instead, she tries to enjoy the moment, appreciating the long journey that she’d taken to get here. the dawon from a few years ago would be so proud to see all that she would become. sona takes a moment to smile at the other girls, proud of just how far they had come, too. this is such a meaningful moment for all of them, even after their debut showcase less than a week ago. this was a new beginning for all of them; they’d have to adapt to the idol lifestyle as a team, not as individuals. dawon smiles, taking a moment to appreciate just how grateful she is to be with such a wonderful group of girls. at that moment, she realizes just how lucky she actually is to have come so far with any of them. this is their moment. they earned this.

i’m feeling it...

[rksona]

Adapt or die.

That one phrase plays in her mind on repeat. It’s something that’s kept her focused on her goals, a prime motivator that encourages her to never give up, even when all seems hopeless. It’s the only reason she’s made it this far, having reached a new beginning in her journey the moment she achieved her debut. No, she doesn’t believe herself to be anywhere close to reaching the end of her journey yet.

As with any beginning, she realizes that she’ll be faced with all new challenges, forced to endure any new hardships that come her way. As of recently, Dawon has been a debuted member of Luxe; the new idol tier has provided her with a million and one new things to adapt to, providing her with a new sense of uncertainty. It’s a new world all over again, she thinks to herself, biting down on her lower lip as she once again stands on an unfamiliar stage. The song begins with Dawon’s first note, her heart once again feeling as though it might beat out of her chest. This time, however, she doesn’t believe that her feelings stem from nervousness. No, this time she feels something that bears a heavy resemblance to excitement.

The song plays through, and each girl appears to work equally as hard to put on a spectacular performance. This is one of the first times that they’re performing like this together, and Dawon has to admit that it causes her to feel so much better than many things she’s experienced in the past. It feels so freeing, in a way. This is what she’s wanted for so long, and now she’s finally getting to live her dream as it becomes reality.

This is only the beginning, she thinks to herself, a confident smile forming on her lips.

[rksona]

 〈 ★ 〉LUXE - DEBUT SHOWCASE - JULY 30TH, 2018                    ↳ with luxe ( xayah, ella, cheri, celine, yena )                                 ↳ songs: luv game - line distributions

her heart feels as though it might beat out of her chest at any given moment. this is it, she thinks to herself. the moment i’ve dreamt of for years. it still feels all too surreal, the idea that she’s standing on stage about to actually debut still feeling like a far away dream. only this is her reality, something that she’s worked so hard to achieve — it’s everything that she’s wanted for so long. she draws in a deep breath, unable to resist as her lips form a radiant smile, knowing that her dreams are about to come true. this is it.

I’m feelin’ it. And I feel good~

5pm.

the first thing she notices is just how beautiful each of them look. personally, she’s a big fan of their outfits, reveling in just how pretty she feels. she spends time appreciating each member’s appearance, though her gaze lingers on eunae in particular. she isn’t used to seeing her dressed this way; maybe that’s why she finds herself fixated on her, finding it almost impossible to look away for even a moment — she just isn’t used to it, she supposes.

she manages to make it through the press conference without saying anything particularly damning — meaning she’s off to a good start (thanks, refresher courses). if it’s any indication of how the rest of her day is going to play out, dawon knows that everything is going to work out perfectly. now isn’t the time for mistakes; it’s time to show all of korea just how powerful of a group luxe has grown to be, that they’re a force to be reckoned with.

6pm-7pm.

she absentmindedly allows her eyes to flicker shut as the stylist works on her hair, something that’s become a habit of hers in recent months. it helps her thoughts to slow down, allowing dawon to feel something that resembles peace before their big moment. she tries not to worry about what lays ahead, instead focusing on just how much they’ve practiced, attempting to reassure herself that everything’s going to be perfect.

once again, she’s impressed with what has to be one of her favorite hairstyles. “aah, you’re so good at this...” she compliments the stylist as she admires herself in the mirror, unable to resist the excited smile that takes over her lips. her outfit is just as beautiful, and she’s overjoyed by the way it compliments her — it feels like the perfect debut look, and it’s impossible not to feel beautiful as she gazes at herself in the mirror. sona’s much prettier than dawon ever was, she thinks to herself, a subtle chuckle escaping her.

she grows increasingly anxious as each second passes by, heart racing each time she dwells on the fact that their debut is less than an hour away. for as long as she can remember, it’s been something to look forward to — something distant that never felt all too real. but this is as real as it gets, and she’s going to have to face it head on — she still hasn’t wrapped her mind around it yet, but, with enough time, she thinks it’s something she can adjust to.

only a few minutes now.

8pm.

the vcr comes to a close, and, after a brief introduction, it’s finally time to perform.

i was born for this, she thinks, praying that she’ll be able to hold onto her confidence.

after xayah finishes her first rap in dangerous, it’s finally dawon’s turn to sing. it’s her first chance since royal survival to show her voice to the world, a feeling that she’ll never get tired of.

너는 늘 이렇게 떠날 듯 말듯해 날 한걸음 또 한걸음 밀어내 이렇게 점점 날 더 어지럽게 해 이 미로 미로 미로 미로 속에 갇힌 난

it’s easily her favorite song on the album — not only does she enjoy just how much she gets to sing, but she also appreciates how well the song suits her. it’s a song that she fell in love with from the moment she heard it, instantly making its way into her heart. she only hopes that the public will love it just as much.

너는 아니라고 하지만 내게 보이는 너의 모습들이 너는 나를 쉽게 흔들리게 해 가까워진듯 더 멀어지게 해 또 난 아슬아슬하게

the bridge she shares with jihyun is unquestionably the most powerful part of the song — deep down, she knows it’ll be enough to leave a considerable impression on anyone listening. there’s no denying that the two main vocalists sound great together.

너는 늘 이렇게 떠날 듯 말듯해 날 한걸음 또 한걸음 밀어내 이렇게 점점 날 더 어지럽게 해 이 미로 미로 미로 미로 속에 갇힌 난

as the last chorus brings the song to a close, sona tries her best to savor the moment. it’s hard to believe that she’s actually standing here performing in front of three-thousand people. even now, it feels like more of a dream than anything else. she scans the crowd, trying to spot whatever family and friends have shown up to support her, but it’s almost impossible to see anyone due to the lighting. at least i’ll seem them after the showcase.

luv me soon begins to play, and, while it isn’t dawon’s favorite song on the album, she still feels nothing but love towards it.

Oh do you love me love me love me boy Do you love me love me love me boy 나 얼마나 사랑해 어서 빨리 말해 머리 굴리지 말고

for dawon, the song passes by rather quickly, perhaps due to just how much she enjoyed performing it. this already feels like the best night of her life, and it’s not even close to being over yet.

over these last few weeks, she’s given a lot of thought towards how she wants to be seen by the public — sona wants her title to be something that represents her, a word that's synonymous with her identity. she wants to choose something that means something to her, something that’s always meant something to her. and, after thinking for what felt like a lifetime, she had finally settled on just what she was looking for. to them, she isn’t just dawon anymore. no, she’s finally grown into something more. “i’m sona, goddess of song!” she greets the crowd, a radiant smile still glued to her features.

“i love each of the songs on the album, but if i had to pick a favorite..." she pauses, acting as if she’s thinking for a moment so that the decision doesn’t seem too easy. “i think it’d have to be dangerous! it’s a song that i really love to listen to, and i think it suits us as a group well. it just has such a pretty sound to it, you know? i just love it.”

as the first mc portion comes to an end, they prepare to perform once more. this time they’re showcasing still falls the rain, another of sona’s favorite tracks from the album. it’s a song that suits her voice well, she thinks, and she’s grateful that they’re able to show many different sides of luxe as a whole throughout the album.

비가 내린 후엔 슬퍼지는 밤엔 널 부르다 혼자 아프죠

as they prepare to perform without u, sona begins to notice a pattern: she considers every song on the album to be one of her favorite songs from the album — it’s a far cry groups that actually go so far as to dislike their debut albums and songs. for that, sona’s grateful, having never been a fan of performing songs that she isn’t passionate about.

I’m OK baby I’m freakin’ good good without you I’m gonna good good good without you boy Without you boy without you oh~ oh~

[insert emo paragraph of the second mc portion ft. any story involving eunae here bc i don’t have time to finish writing it before midnight in like ten minutes]

she watches in awe as the music video plays, the final product revealing itself to be more than she could have dreamed of. everything about it just seems so perfect, though maybe she is a little biased. once again, time seems to fly by, and the music video soon draws to a close. now it’s time for them to gear up for the most important performance of the night.

her heart feels as though it might beat out of her chest at any given moment. this is it, she thinks to herself. the moment i’ve dreamt of for years. it still feels all too surreal, the idea that she’s standing on stage about to actually debut still feeling like a far away dream. only this is her reality, something that she’s worked so hard to achieve — it’s everything that she’s wanted for so long. she draws in a deep breath, unable to resist as her lips form a radiant smile, knowing that her dreams are about to come true. this is it.

I’m feelin’ it. And I feel good~

the first note is possibly her most important line in the song — sona puts as much passion into as she possibly can, hoping to put on the most unforgettable show of the night. no one will think of her as ‘unforgettable’ after this.

she loses herself in the performance, cherishing every second of it. they’re each doing so well, and she can tell just by looking at them that they deserve to be here. she feels nothing but pride for her teammates, overjoyed that they’ve each made it this far.

Now I feel good 기분 좋아 ���늘은 다시 오지 않아 baby 나와 지금 기분 좋아 지금이 아니면 안돼 I feel good good good tonight

다시 한번 더 I feel good

as the song finally draws to a close, sona finds herself overwhelmed with emotions — visibly vulnerable for the first time on stage as her eyes fill up with tears. they’re tears of joy, she thinks, the subtle smile that graces her lips hopefully doing enough to show it.

(to be continued bc i ran out of time)

we’ve made it.

[rksona]

she felt a little odd when the trainers told her that instead of evaluations, there would be a barbecue, of all things. it all seems like kind of a joke, and more than a bit like a test. putting all the trainees together with a bunch of staff and higher up people, add in a bunch of food that they probably aren’t supposed to eat; she feels like maybe they’re waiting for them to mess up. but all in all, she doesn’t mind it so much. she likes these kind of things better than singing and dancing, and networking seemed to come more naturally to her, so when dawon comes to talk to her she appreciates it.

“it’s a bit long.” she admits as she stands next to the other girl. the day has been dragging on forever, and with the schedule that dawon probably has it’s probably a lot. but lisa wouldn’t know, she’s still a trainee. she turns to look at her, shifting her weight onto one hip as she takes a sip of the iced tea in her hand. “can i tell you a secret though? i ate a burger, and i’m pretty sure i wasn’t supposed to.”

she nods in agreement, acknowledging that this whole thing has lasted longer than she might have liked. it’s enough to make her anxious, knowing that there’s so much left to do in these next few days; but instead of doing anything about it, she’s standing around at a barbecue, of all things. the only thing that makes her feel better is that she actually has free time to catch up with friends, her conversation with lisa already going a long way towards helping her feel more relaxed. maybe this is actually better than a nap, she thinks.

“a burger? mm, that’s a bit rebellious of you.” soft, amused laughter escapes her, her lips forming a noticeable smile. “but now i’m kind of tempted to eat one too? and i mean, what’s the worst that could happen?” it’s a dumb question to ask; it’s easy to assume that something could easily go wrong, even with something as simple as eating a cheeseburger. “maybe i’d even be able to sneak in a nap, too. they can’t really keep an eye on us all the time, can they?”

★ — positive ;

[rksona]

EXID (이엑스아이디) - I Feel Good

[rksona]

             [ ♦︎ ] LUXE (럭스)  “LUV GAME”  

                                          available in stores now! …                                                       the hotly anticipated first mini-album!

                                ↱         track listing                                            ♦︎  01. I Feel Good                                            ♦︎  02. Dangerous                                            ♦︎  03. Luv Me                                            ♦︎  04. Still Falls the Rain                                            ♦︎  05. Without U                                            ♦︎  06. I Feel Good (Instrumental)           ↲

                  Details:                   This edition comes with a 30-page photobook, two random member photo                   cards (out of one available GODDESS version style), a lyrics book, a random                   clear postcard and a random member sticker.

                                          Release Date: 2018-07-30                                           Language: Korean                                           Disc Format(s): CD                                           Publisher: Royal Entertainment

                                                                                                     …  buy yours today!

[rksona]

★ — luxe: july eval, 2018 !

vcr photoshoot and interview !

luxe’s debut is just around the corner.

even now, it’s still almost impossible to process; in less than three weeks,  dawon will finally achieve her debut as an idol, something she’s yearned for as long as she can remember. while the girls are each dealing with their anticipation in different ways, dawon likes to believe that there’s a certain amount of shared excitement between them — or maybe she’s just imagining things, allowing her own excitement to get the best of her (she doubts it, however, considering just how long each of them have worked towards this).

before they can debut, however, there are still a few more things left to take care of on the agenda, but perhaps the one dawon’s the most excited for is the vcr photoshoot. once upon a time, she hadn’t considered modeling to be her forte; but now, it’s easily one of the things she looks forward to the most when it comes to an idol’s lifestyle. during the supernova new year photoshoot last year, she learned just how much she enjoyed modeling, and, at the risk of sounding conceited, she’d even say that she’s become somewhat good at it.

initially, she isn’t sure what to make of the outfit chosen for her — or at least, she isn’t sure what to make of the pants. they’re enough to catch her off guard, her expression shifting to one of subtle confusion, making it somewhat obvious that it’s not in the very least what she expected. the more her gaze lingers on the outfit as a whole, however, the fonder of it she becomes; it’s an outfit she expects to pull off well, even despite the surprise factor.

dawon spends ten minutes in front of the photographer, striking a wide variety poses all the while. the glittery, silver microphone might just be the greatest prop she could have asked for, and she tries her best to make the most of it. she spends the duration of the session trying to show off a fun yet elegant side of her personality, purposely avoiding anything that could give off an overly cute impression. while there’s nothing wrong with being seen as cute, she doesn’t feel that it’s who she really is — making this an opportunity to show off a more authentic and personal side of herself.

the interview portion that follows requires a bit more thought, but dawon still promises herself that she’ll continue to respond as genuinely as possible. she hums when asked about her impressions of the album and excitement leading up to debut, quickly gathering her thoughts before speaking. “the album, in my opinion, is... mm... a lot of fun. especially the title track! it’s music i’d listen to even if it wasn’t coming from luxe. and overall, i think it does a really good job at showing our strengths as a group? there’s a nice variety of songs, so i think there will be something for almost everyone to enjoy! it really exceeded my expectations.

“but when it comes to the excitement leading up to debut... aah, i don’t actually know what to say,” she admits, amused laughter spilling from within her as she raises a hand to cover her mouth. “it’s still so hard to believe that any of this is real. like, is this really happening? are we really debuting? i ask myself those questions a lot. sometimes i wonder if this is just some long, insanely realistic dream that i’ll be waking up from soon,” she jokes, another soft laugh escaping her. “but i hope that doesn’t happen! waking up from something like this would be an actual nightmare.

“we’ve all worked so hard up to this point, so to know that all of that hard work is soon going to pay off is just... incredible. words can’t describe how grateful i am to be a part of this.”

[rksona]

it’s the last interaction meiqi expects when she leaves the apartment, dolled up more modestly than ever before, for the company-wide barbecue party. she knows this may be an important event, with every ceo in attendance examining the trainees and their social skills. if she makes one wrong move, meiqi risks embarrassing herself in front of hyun bin. the situation reminds her of those formal business parties her uncle used to bring her to, where she had to watch how she acts, what she says, and her mannerisms to uphold a certain image of herself.

on her best behaviour, meiqi mingles with other trainees. some are familiar faces, others are absolute strangers, but it doesn’t matter if she’s well acquainted with them or not; she chats animatedly with the same enthusiasm to every single body present. the only break she takes is to hydrate herself with a glass of punch, and how grateful she is for that break when she sees a specific girl approaching her.

“holy crap,” she mutters, mostly to herself, grin tugging her lips apart. it’s sona, the luxe member and the same beautiful woman who she had handed a flyer to upon first joining nova. “it’s you! you’re here! why didn’t you tell me that day that you were a trainee-slash-soon-to-be idol? i had to find out with the rest of south korea like a basic loser!” meiqi shakes her head disbelievingly, hand reaching for two cups of juice absentmindedly. “are you thirsty?”

the girl’s reaction takes dawon slightly off guard, the whole idea of her now attaining any level of fame still feeling all too surreal. she promises herself that she isn’t going to shy up, not wanting to embarrass herself while she potentially has the chance of leaving a good first impression (for what feels like the first time in her life). instead, her gaze briefly falls to the ground beneath her, the same smile from before still glued to her lips.

“mm... i don’t know, honestly — maybe i just didn’t want to take the spotlight off of you. it kind of suited you, you know?” paying the other a compliment causes dawon’s smile to become somewhat more noticeable as soft, amused laughter escapes her. “but i’m sorry that you had to find out with the rest of south korea like a basic loser. that was completely my bad.”

“oh, but — yeah, i’m pretty thirsty,” she confirms, gently nodding her head before accepting the juice. “thanks.” it’s definitely not the most gracious display of gratitude, but it gets the job done. she presses the cup to her lips, attempting to think of a new topic in the short time span it takes for her to take a sip. “okay, and, cards on the table? i kind of saw where you mentioned me in one of your instagram posts, and it was pretty cute, so, well... i figured, if you actually want my number? you got it.”

★ — holiday ;

[rksona]

★ — positive ;

starter for @rklisa !

for whatever it’s worth, dawon likes to think that’s she’s fitting in well enough. she may not be the most outgoing girl in the world, but it goes without saying that she’s trying her best — mingling when necessary, offering soft smiles and brief greetings to friends and strangers alike... anything that might assist in her efforts to fly under the radar. or maybe she should be trying harder to put herself out there, drawing as much attention to herself as possible; while it would make sense considering her debut is only a few days away, it’s nothing that she seriously considers, preferring to keep to herself when possible.

when she spots lisa, dawon jumps at the chance to chat with someone she’s genuinely interested in talking to, making her way to the girl’s side with almost no hesitation. “can i tell you a secret?” she doesn’t wait for an answer before continuing, assuming that lisa would be willing to hear her out either way. “this whole thing feels... kind of boring? i honestly think i’d rather be taking a nap — at least then i’d be well-rested afterward.”

[rksona]

[rksona]

he knows all too well that this moment here is just that - ephemeral, fleeting.  momentary.  they’re fine for now, but soon they’ll go back to the normal grind, where there’s so much expected of them and much too little time to breathe.  but for now, it’s just easier, to pretend that it won’t happen and to have fun in the moment.  hyojong doesn’t want to be frustrated, or self -destructing all the time as he’s felt like he’s been doing lately.  he wants to go back to that time when he was first signed, because at least then, there wasn’t a landslide of stressors coming to bury him from all sides.  he can only imagine that dawon’s stress is that much worse.

“ i’ll take it as a half compliment then.” hyojong says with a straight face, sipping on the water he’s had left over from his lunch.  “ at least you’re telling me i’m smart enough to do it, i guess -” he pauses though, at this small betrayal of their little act.  reality, it seems, is not too far from the joke.  “ i guess so.  but do you trust me?”

as she wonders whether or not their conversation provides the same amount of comfort and relief to hyojong, dawon realizes that she has almost no idea what the other may currently be going through. despite being under the same roof, the two of them share training schedules that are practically nothing alike (mostly due to the fact that dawon’s schedule has mostly been filled with debut prep). she’s almost tempted to ask him about it, but, for now, she decides against it, not wanting to let go of their playful chat just yet.

“i’d say it’s at least two-thirds of a compliment, but... take it as you will.” for a moment, her features betray her charade for what feels like the millionth time in their conversation, cheeks tugging the corners of her lips upward once more. “mm, if your taste in mugs has anything to say about your intelligence, then i’d say you’re definitely smart enough to do it,” she jokes, a subtle yet audible chuckle escaping her. “but... yeah ━ yeah, i trust you.”

✱ ━  EXTRA LIFE.

[rksona]

working out is usually a sacred time for eunae that she spends on her own, with no distraction. even somebody as social as she is needs alone time and it usually is done at the gym for her. ever since she moved into a dorm with five other girls, though, alone time is pretty difficult to have. and when it’s dawon tagging along, does she really need any?

she takes secret pride in feeling dawon’s eyes on her, because she knows they’re not on her face right now. still, the rapper keeps all comments to herself and contains a smirk as she begins another set of squats. she’s openly checking out the vocalist in the first place so she definitely won’t act offended if the favor’s returned. “don’t be too surprised but i usually only work out alone.” especially ever since she quit football, exercise had become  solitary activity for her. “most people can’t keep up with me so i get annoyed, but it’s different with you though!”

not only can dawon keep up just fine, but they each have their own strengths and can help each other out. “you’re not lame, ok? i feel the same way.” she doesn’t add that she mostly just wants to be around her, because that would be lame. plus it’s not like it means anything, right? “squats done!” her thigh muscles are throbbing but she likes the feeling of her body being pushed to the limit. “what’s next?”

“yeah, same. i don’t really want to say i get more done that way, but...” it’s the truth, more or less. but that’s not enough to warrant her saying so, considering the fact that she’s enjoying their current workout session much more than those she completes on her own. maybe it’s the company, the option of having someone to talk to if she starts to feel lonely — or maybe it’s just the view. either way, if sacrificing a little bit of productivity is the price, then so be it. “guess i do a pretty god job of keeping up, yeah? don’t need to worry about me.”

“really?” dawon questions, hands resting on her hips as she allows herself a momentary break. only now does she realize just how much she’s been working her thighs for the last few minutes — maybe being distracted has its advantages after all. “damn — i’m gonna be honest, i was actually enjoying that for a little while.” she pauses, taking another swallow from her water bottle, not wanting to end up dehydrated. “you looked like you were doing pretty great, too! i mean, not that i was watching you too much,” an obvious lie, “but... yeah.”

“i don’t know, though... what do you feel like? i’m down for pretty much anything, really?”

★ — look ;

[rksona]

Sometimes I think music is my first and only love.

m.t.//things i’ll never say out loud (via iwontwrite)