#risking the wrath of certain people when i say this but honestly

[sucuretcannelle]

BUSTS DOWN THE DOOR.

Star, Moon, and Sun for Aibre, Atlas, and Azzy.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOW-

I'm a little late but you'll see why

I'll do Azzy tomorrow but I want this OUT

Ai's whole life revolves around her relationships. Without them, she feels like nothing. Feeling like nothing would help her so much but we all know she's constantly on the wrong path. One thing that wouldn't change at all is where she gets her inspiration from, which would be her mind and past life experiences. Half of her ideas and choices come from that, or whatever someone told her that she should do.

The Sin of Wrath? Being generous? You'd be surprised. She's forced to clean up after Nash's hellish rule, there's only two options she could've gone with. Be worse than he was (that would be very difficult to do naturally) or deal with it in peace. She didn't choose violence, she knows that her life has only just started and any mistakes and cruelness she shows people will just put even more mental chains on her, and she doesn't want to be weighed down this quickly, she knows how it's affected Nash already and that's the type of shit you watch from a distance. That doesn't mean she's a great person though. But between her and Nash, one of them is the lesser evil.

Serenity isn't a term that sits in her head. Her life is a constant balancing act. No highs and lows, just a plateau with gentle bumps that would eventually turn into deep lows or lofty highs if she took a step back from her control, and she chooses not to risk it.

She shouldn't have hope. We've all seen that hope has continuously left her empty handed, but it's still something she yearns for. Hope brings a sense of comfort that she's never had. If hope was in the sky, she'd have her face glued to the ground out of pure stubbornness and her mental exhaustion and then she'd complain when it leaves without her.

Ai has a very small ideas for the future. She cares about the future in only certain aspects of her life, and throws the rest away only to pick up the same ideas later, decide how she feels about them, just to throw them away again. "Oh what're her ideas for the future," you don't get the right to know that yet...you know that right?

(I somehow already addressed the moon with her, I'm just too good)

Okay I'm done with being negative. The sun is a great card! Enlightenment from the Sun card is great, but it focuses on one person and not everyone else around them.

The thing is, Ai has no idea what her version of enlightenment is or how she would get to it. Silence would give her guidance, but not enlightenment. Fuck, I'm her creator and I wouldn't know. That's all up to fate and she chooses to just leave that alone.

For her, I would rewrite finding truth as finding clarity. She knows enough now to be able to address things as soon as they come up. Her relationships don't need to be unnecessarily mudded up for any unknown reasons.

A moment of glory that first came to her head was her Investiture in her home world. Yeah she was bothered that Al didn't go (honestly she's still mad about it to this day but who wouldn't be) but that wasn't about him anyway. It was the first time she has ever been truly rewarded for her efforts. It was almost bittersweet because Ai knew that her fate was no longer in Orion's hands and her safety net was basically gone for her, but she knew that she had to move forward. It was sink or swim and she still had enough energy in her to keep going without a second thought.

Let's be honest, Ai trusts her abilities. Not as much as Nash does, but not too little to the point where it makes her seem too hesitant. If you asked two years ago, you wouldn't be able to get an answer from her because she'd be so terrified; I say that's character development.

Atlas is strange. I think we already know that by now but I can barely figure him out sometimes and I made him. Most of his inspiration comes from fights he's had at some point in his life. Mostly in a debate manner, but he's been in his fair share of physical fights here and there. That feeds his wisdom and he always feels the urge to learn, but mostly the hard way, so he knows every step of a situation he comes out of.

Atlas is generous to those who are generous to him. He doesn't really have to think it through either; if someone's nice to him, he'll treat him with respect. Those who defy him in any way are getting run over with the force of 10 trucks. What are they gonna do? Fight back?

Atlas' mind is always a little empty. He chooses not to think too much, all his focus is on keeping balance between the thinking and working side of his brain and the empty, slow moving side of his brain. He gets extremely overwhelmed and even ill when that balance is unstable. So in all truth, he usually lives in some sort of state of serenity. But it's also why he's so forgetful...

Atlas is a very practical, grounded individual. Hope isn't a thing that he takes into account in his life. Luck, yes, but hope? Hope is something that can constantly change, therefore he feels like he has no reason to trust it. He'd rather just let things unfold in front of him before hoping for something just for it to be the opposite of what he expected.

Speaking of hope, Atlas has nothing to look forward to. Not in a depressing manner, but he's seen just about everything so nothing could really affect him, good or bad at this time. If one would look into a traditional version of The Star in the deck, his mindset would be the water being poured. There's an endless supply of it and water can withhold a bunch of shit, and even destroy sturdy structures. And just like water, his reactions to situations are in a constant cycle. No changes can stop that, as long as his mind, the water, is still in existence.

Atlas has been through so much, he has nothing to fear. At least nothing that would be surprised by. The roleplay takes place during the flattest, least important part of his life. He has nothing to stress out about so he's not going to go out of his way to find things that stress him out. He doesn't enjoy anything that would contribute to any mental stimulation that could be sparked in his brain, making it extremely hard for him to think outside the box and use his imagination. This could cause him to slightly lose sight of his goals (if he has any important ones at this point) just because he chooses not to think harder.

In all truth, Atlas has already reached personal enlightenment a few times. Despite him being known to be sluggish, he's accomplished more than many other gods ever could. He understands how to find truth and clarity, and he's so talented at it that it makes him seem like a lie detector. Everyone thinks it's some sort of magic, and it is, but only because of the things he's done in what he calls the "physical realm."

If you were to ever ask Atlas for a moment of glory, he would pick when he was finally able to beat Siran in a fight. That would be easy for him now, but that was the first time his father ever rewarded him for something that was super energy draining. That would've also been the day he was crowned the God of Stars.

Atlas trusts his abilities too much. Not as cocky as Nash, but way cockier than Ai. He thinks that everything he does is going to work, but when he sees something that's practically impossible, he won't step in and try to intervene.

[whenits--notreal]

Hold on. I really like this idea, especially with the whole funeral being closed-casket so I can totally see it happening. This could potentially change a lot of things because it would mean that Jason would wake up with the cape.

Now this could go a lot of different ways. I'll start with the most far-fetched one ψ(._. ) :

1. Since (in almost all continuations) Jason was conscious when Bruce found him just before he died, Jason would have seen Batman come for him and waking up with his cape would make Jason think that Bruce made it in time for him. He might not even be aware that he died, since he can't see the coffin in the dark but can recognise the cape even blind.

But then, eventually, he realises he's trapped somewhere and that there's no way the over-protective Bruce would ever willingly/knowingly leave him like this, but the cape means that Bruce has found him and he knows which leaves the only other option: Bruce is in trouble. This, rather than the panic of waking up alone in your coffin, becomes what drives Jason enough to be able to dig out of his grave.

The reason I said this is my most far-fetched idea is because it's a little difficult to overlook the fact that Jason was defo out of his mind and wouldn't be able to make those kind of deductions (even though they're wrong).

2. So taking the slightly more canonically correct idea that Jason was working "purely on instinct" him waking up with the cape doesn't mean much in terms of his thought process (or well, lack thereof). Instead, his digging out of his grave pretty much follows what was lined in Batman Annual #25 but instead of wrapping his hands in random cloth when he breaks out of the coffin, he uses part of the cape because he instinctively knows that it's more durable.

Like in BA25, he wanders the streets muttering Bruce, Dad, and nothing but. Obviously this time, the people who find him and take him to the hospital don't ignore his words because he has Batman's unmistakeable cape wrapped around his shoulders.

Everyone knows of the alleged ties Bruce Wayne has with the Batman so it isn't difficult to connect the dots on which Bruce he's talking about. They also decide that they should BW about their findings because they are not risking the Bat's wrath, especially considering the rampage he's been going on for the past 6 months since a certain little bird stopped tailing him (in the original run, I'm not sure about the other ones, Gotham doesn't know that Robin is dead).

Anyway, point is Bruce gets his son back, albeit in a less-than-ideal state, stops being a vengeful menace to society, and gives Jason the attention he needs. However, since Bruce was the one who "found him" first, Jason remains in a vegetative state and from there, it can go in many different directions.

Jason could stay braindead for the rest of his life and basically be cared for by his family, Bruce would have to completely drop the Batman mantle if that's the case and would honestly probably become a better person as a result. He would tell Dick about it this time, and they can become a slightly more functional family. Now while I don't really want Jason to be braindead, this is the most realistic outcome, not to say that Bruce won't stop looking for a way to cure him, but realistically without the Pit he can't really (unless we're considering the universes where the Pit doesn't really induce madness) because Bruce would do anything for his kids but this seems like a line he wouldn't cross.

OR

Bruce being Bruce will find some sort of way to bring his son back, be it with some insane magic ( perhaps, with Zatanna's help, he becomes a golem but that'd mean he becomes dependent on Zatanna's magic-- maybe he becomes her apprentice or smthn?) or because Bruce is Bruce and he has a countermeasure for everything he has a backup record of Jason's consciousness or smthn, like the way he coded his own consciousness in the recent releases of Batman (2016) so he sort of becomes something of an AI, maybe then he'd be oracle instead of Barbara cuz he can just... upload a bunch of stuff in his artificially modified brain? Or he can become the next cyborg lol, then he can be Vic's apprentice (atp I feel like all I'm doing is just coming up with alternate mentors for J that aren't Batman).

OR

Batman does take Jason to the Lazarus Pit and after the Pit madness is over, there isn't much for him to be mad about (I'm not going with the fanon where the Pit induced rage is to blame for his actions cuz uh-- yh that's not real) so he doesn't go on a dramatic interactive tour of Gotham's underworld to see if his daddy loves him, because most of that obsession came not only as a side-effect of his resurrection but also due to Talia's whisperings and the long period of time he spent alone in the den of a bunch of assassins. Batman does not let him be Robin (not that he wants to any time soon) and takes a break from the cowl himself. This can be the first domino of Bruce prioritising something (his son) over his mission. Perhaps one day he hangs up his cowl for good and focuses on what he can do for Gotham as Bruce Wayne?

(There are many more options for an "ending" to my second scenario, I could probably write a fic about this but I'll stop here for now)

3. As for the third idea (which has absolutely no solid basis, it's complete make-belief), Jason wakes up in his coffin with the cape wrapped around him but again he's not really there mentally. He does however recognise the cape-blanket as security-safety-sleep and so he does (sleep). He sleeps in for the whole day and so misses a major event in what would have been the main timeline. Instead, this deviance creates an alternate parallel timeline where he stays in his coffin until the next day when someone (secretly) comes to visit his grave.

This someone is Clark Kent who immediately recognises the heart beating 6 feet below the dirt. He uses his x-ray vision to confirm that there is indeed a Jason lying in a buried coffin with his chest rising in even breaths as though he was asleep and not just dead. Horrified at his discovery and not thinking/caring about the consequences, he immediately dug up the grave and took Jason out then flew him over to the Wayne manor.

There he was punched in the face by Bruce cuz a) what the hell are you doing with my dead son, whom I personally buried, in your arms and b) that's just Bruce's natural reaction to seeing Superman in Gotham. After an explanation and some verification cuz Batman's a suspicious b... they live happily ever after. lol, not.

Dick finds out through Donna who only knows because she was spying on Wonder Woman when B asked for her assistance to heal Jason's brain damage cuz there were rumours that the Amazonians had a super-medicine or smthn like that (B was so wrecked and tired frmo searching for a cure that he didn't even notice her, Wonder Woman didn't say anything cuz she assumed that Bruce knew she was there). Donna thought Dick deserved to know, apparently, she didn't think that Dick would be destroyed by finding out second-hand.

Dick goes back to the manor and he's not even angry, this is the second time Bruce has failed to tell Dick about something concerning Jason's life. Dick's tired and he doesn't want to fight, he just wants to see his brother. When he gets to the manor, however, he can't find Bruce anywhere even though it's bright daylight.

He checks the cave and lo and behold, there sits Bruce (because that's not Batman) in the batchair on the batcomputer looking like a corpse. Dick manages to get all the way to his side and still, Bruce takes no notice until he is called and he honest-to-God jumps. Now Dick is sort of concerned.

Dick can see the moment recognition hits Bruce and not a second later he's half-tackled by Bruce, who wraps his arms around Dicks torso in a vice grip and starts sobbing (quietly but still-- sobbing). Now Dick is definitely concerned. Scratch that-- he's full-on panicking.

B starts talking between sniffles and the jist of it is "I tried. I'm trying but I can't find a way. I was going to tell you once I got him back but I can't. I swear I'm trying. He's here but I can't do anything for him and I can't and I need my son back. And I've tried but I can't bring him back and I'm still trying but it's not working and I need help to bring him back but I can't find it. I didn't want to ask you for help because I didn't want to give you false hope but I need the help because what's the point of being Batman of being a hero if I can't even save my own son. Dick please I'm so sorry you probably know now and I'm sorry it wasn't me telling you and I'm sorry for falling on you and what if he doesn't come back? Even though he's right here." And Dick starts crying too [and this would never happen at least not in this way but I'm not thinking too deeply about this dialogue].

Honestly tho, I do think that one of the most stressful things for Bruce isn't having failed but the process of failing, like when he was searching for Jason after he was kidnapped by the Joker except this is kind of worse because it feels like it'll never end, Jason will remain in this state forever and Bruce will continue to fail him until the day one of them dies because Bruce can't get over an ongoing failure if it's still happening and I feel like that stress might be enough for him to break down, especially if it's in front of Dick who he arguably keeps a front up with the least (apart from Alfred) cuz they've both seen each other at immense lows.

Anyway, Dick kinda just forgets the feeling of betrayal as he recognises that Bruce wasn't so much keeping a secret from him "for his own good" again so much as he couldn't deal with the situation and was destroying himself over it. Dick is glad he didn't find out any later.

He manages to see Jason and decides to go off-world to search for a cure while he leaves scourging the Earth to Bruce. He employs Superman to keep an eye over his dad (sometimes it takes your brother dying and coming back to life brain-dead to admit you're family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯). Fun fact: Dick lowkey had a bit of trauma about going into space because Jason died while he was unreachable and hasn't taken any off-world missions since Jay's death, however, he overcomes this to find a way to save his brother.

Turns out the Lanterns have state-of-the-art medical technology but them being xenophobic (yes I just said that) makes it very hard for Dick to gain access to this medicine despite his and Batman's association with Hal Jordan [idk how he gets in the end, improvise?].

In conclusion, Jason comes back spotty and perhaps gains a new friend *cough* *cough* Kyle *cough* (Am I pushing it? Probably. Do I care? Yes, actually I kinda do.)

No more Robin. Batman calms down and the Titans get *extensive* training from the Justice League because they realise that pretending your juniors don't exist in a dangerous occupation just because you don't want them to, actually just places them in more danger.

Alfred was awol this whole time because B gave him long leave to mourn (he actually just didn't want to face Alfred's judgement for what he was doing after Jason's Death. Meanwhile, Alfred was using his time off to slowly kill the Joker in a way that disguised it as a natural death.

I had a 4th idea which was basically about being found by stalker Tim who has sixth sense for finding the cape except usually that cape is attached to a Batman not wrapper around a Jason Todd (who was meant to be dead???) but I wrote all of this in one go and I'm tired so I'm just gonna... not.

Just a cute lil thought:

Since Bruce's kids all love to play around and hide in his cape as Robins, I wonder if he makes them blankets out of the same materials as his cape so they can have a piece of security when Bruce isn't there?

I remember in Dick and Jason's older comics (correct me if I'm wrong), they used to stay up late waiting for Bruce when he'd go out as Batman alone, so I'm gonna take this as confirmation that all his kids have done this at some point.

So now I'm totally gonna hc that in order to encourage his kids to not stay up late for him or as a way to help them feel more safe and secure when he's not there, he makes them all blanket replicas of his cape for them to snuggle with :')

And also just imagine his kids all grown up, and they STILL have the blankets with them, regardless of if they've moved out.

[why-am-i-pluto]

You know what my fave thing about the assholery from yesterday is? That these people seem to act like because this is a 17+ app, everyone should be ok with seeing certain content. Like regardless of whether or not under 18′s can or should use this site, it’s not just them who might have a problem with it. As though adults who don’t like that stuff or are repulsed by it don’t exist. Hell, I’m not one to feel uncomfortable about that kind of content and even *I* get majorly put off by the sort of stuff I’ve seen. 

But the fact of the matter is, despite what a lot of the discussion became about, this is a lot less about the smut and more about the fact that people post utterly irrelevant things in the tags for a small fandom and drown out the actual fandom content. I’m sure if I went into H*nry’s tag and started posting nothing but Benthan content or just pictures of Tom or Simon and filling up the tag with stuff that has nothing to do with him, they’d all have something to say about it because it’s completely irrelevant. Someone being in a film doesn’t mean that you have to tag every single post about them with that film name. Also, literally no one is saying that you shouldn’t post it, post whatever the hell you want, but keep the tags relevant, it really is not that difficult. Post it in his tag, where people will (likely) enjoy that content. People can scream ‘censorship’ or ‘gatekeeping’ all you want, but there comes a point where common decency should override the ‘I DO WHAT I WANT’ attitude (though I’m clearly naive to think people on tumblr have an ounce of decency lol my bad). 

My blacklist is so jam packed of urls because of trying to hide that content (which I would recommend to my friends who don’t want to see the content because chances are, with the attitudes we’ve seen, they don’t care and won’t make any attempts to understand, so I would recommend blacklisting any and all urls who post this content).

[bonny-kookoo]

Sing to me: JJK x Reader 🔞

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Mermaid AU, Siren!Jungkook, Prince!Jungkook, homeless!Reader, Romance,  Smut duh

Wordcount: 5k (medium)

Tags/Warnings: okay so, spoiled kook, possessive kook, Theres literally an attempted murder lol, drowning? whoops, blood oh no, reader is hella fucking dense ok, biting, courting lol, fish boy is in love, whoops, anyways we got sexy times too, because in this AU fishboy got legs n all of that hah, unprotected sex because, guys pls this ain't supposed to he realistic, wrap it before you tap it folks, its also not all that filthy lol, blink and you'll miss the scene, honestly I didn't include much smut because yall nasty so you will ask for dirty drabbles anyways, not that I mind lol, k I'm done I think, wow mom I've sinned less than usual..

Summary: Help me love myself, and I might learn to love you as well.

Or alternatively: you save Jungkook from being killed, and he totally gets the wrong signals. But he's cute, so its fine. Probably.

Jungkook is floating.

He thinks about what lies above the waves, and cant think of anything he really finds interesting. The surface is littered in junk, in things humans leave behind without thinking twice about it. It's air is thick and stuffy, hard to breathe and never clear at all. It's crowded, with creatures who at the end of the day all look the same in his eyes. There's nothing exciting about the world people walk on.

Its boring, and dirty.

His own home is, compared to that, a kingdom radiating like the moon itself. It shines and sparkles, and harbors some of the most beautiful creatures ever to be found. He and his family, as well as everyone else, live in peace with nature down underneath the waves, existing side by side instead of trying to gain the upper hand all the time.

And he's reminded of the cruelty of man, when he finds himself caught in a net.

He's somehow made the fishermen drop it instead of pulling him up on their boat. But that doesn't mean he's free- he's still struggling with it, fighting it, but he cant rip it apart. All he does really, is tie the knots tighter, have them dig into his skin until spots are rubbed raw. He can't really swim anywhere at this point, gives up as he can see the last lights of his distant home fade into the distance.

Jungkook is floating.

He's slowly being led by the waves, by the love of wind and waters, as he closes his eyes. Its a pity, really; for a prince held so high to die by the mere hands of the poor, he thinks. It's upsetting him, very much so, but he takes it as it is. There's nothing he can do anyways, as he slowly comes into contact with the sand below. It washes him up onto short, the dry sand sticking to his body, waves pushing him higher and higher onto the ground.

He shivers, the cold outside air biting at his skin now unsheltered and defenseless.

He doesn't know how long he lays there.

But at some point, steps are heard on the sand. He keeps his eyes closed, doesn't care about what will happen next- he really just wants to have it be over by now, the ropes already painfully burning his skin at certain spots. He's sure theres sand in his wounds as something touches him- warm fingers, hesitant, and almost shy.

He keeps his eyes closed.

"My god, I hate humans.." You mutter under your breath, your voice hitting his ears, making him notice the way it sounds. He thinks it sounds very similar to some of his kind; sirens being blessed with voices sweet and enchanting. Maybe you were one of the strays who had decided to live on the surface for some reason? But your smell was entirely human, although much sweeter and pleasant than anyone he'd met before. And then, after a small short moment of pain-

He's free.

His arms flop to his side, and he breathes in deeply- finally able to fully move again. His eyes open, and adjust to the night for a moment, before they meet yours.

How interesting.

"Jungkook?" Jimin asks him, curious to what has gotten the young Siren so occupied. Typically, Jungkook would be watching the annual kingdom dances with at least some form of interest; even if it was just a glimpse of it, just to make his parents worry less about him misbehaving. But today, as the graceful dancers move around to the orchestra playing, the young prince is absolutely not there. At least not mentally. "Jungkook." The older one scolds, getting Jungkooks attention- his gaze hard and annoyed. "Please, young prince- at least try to pretend you're interested. This is after all part of our culture." He strategically uses his title as teasing- something which makes Jungkook snort without any fun.

"I really don't want to be here." He explains, and Jimin sighs. "I'd rather be at the surface.." He mumbles, being careful not to be too loud- but Jimin does pick it up, and so does his partner, Taehyung, next to him- now leaning a bit forward to hear better.

"Oh?" Jimin asks. "What could be of interest there, I wonder?" He teases, and Jungkook grows even more irritated.

"Nothing that should interest a whore like you." He says harshly, though Jimin knows he means no harm with it. Jimin is, after all, a man who enjoys the simple pleasures in life- which is why he can't quite grasp why Jungkook, a young man in his prime like himself, doesn't seem to care about whats going on around him.

"Hm, but I think she must be absolutely divine if you're willing to risk the wrath of your own mother just to see her." He says, and Taehyung snickers next to him, clearly amused.

But to both of their surprise, Jungkook grows.. calm. Theres even a glimpse of a smile on his lip as he rests his head on his head, elbow on the armrest of his throne. "That she is." He says, quietly, as he watches the young woman in front of him. He has to imagine you there instead, moving oh so gracefully to the sounds of his Kingdom's greatest musicians- dressed in the most beautiful gown he'd gift you. "That she is.." He repeats, a dreaming look on his face that Jimin has not seen before.

Jungkook watches you.

He enjoys watching you on your daily trips to the beach, picking up cans and bottles, and other things people throw away without care. You're cleaning up the beach, and he thinks its a very good behavior- he likes the way you always carefully scan the ground and sides for any garbage. He swims a little closer as he spots you squatting down; eyes lighting up as you pick up a shell he'd personally not care much for. It's slightly pink- but nothing he hasn't seen in his life. They're so common, and he suddenly thinks that if this already makes you happy, what if he was to bring you something else? Something better, something more worth your attention?

He feels a rush of excitement.

Dashing into the opposite direction, he makes his way towards the ground below, eyes scanning the ground as he searches for something. He spots it after a few minutes of searching, but when he holds the pearl, he hesitates.

Its not enough.

No, that's not what you should get. He's only paying back his dept, yeah, that's what he's doing. But what if he was overdoing it by bringing you something too expensive or rare? No, he should be smart about it, yeah. Start small, and work your way up he thinks, as he takes the pearls he's collected while deep in thought, and pushes himself back to the top, swimming easily. He hopes you're still there-

And there you are, dipping your feet into the water.

He looks at what he can see; only able to see clearly underneath the waves rather than above. There's a bracelet hanging around your ankle, and it looks cheap, he thinks. It only helps him by giving him ideas for his next gifts- if you would accept his first, that is. He's never been rejected before, but then again, has always rejected instead. Nothing had interested him to the extend you did. Maybe you really were of his kind, secretly.

When he slowly brings his head up the waves, you don't get scared, or flinch. You simply look, spot him, and smile.

He likes that expression.

He comes closer, free hand helping him onto the stone you sit on, his hand holding your gift eagerly pushing against yours. You understand quickly, and open them, and he smiles. You're smart, he notes, and it only adds to your qualities, he thinks. Dropping the pearls, your eyes sparkle again- as they should, he thinks with pride. You inspect them with big eyes, as if you've never seen something alike. He enjoys your reaction- and you nod at him. "Thank you- are they for me to keep?" You ask, pointing to them, and then at your chest. He's not fully fluent in human language, but has picked up on some words and phrases, since Seokjin had recently strayed- teaching him some stuff whenever he got bored and visited his younger brother.

So Jungkook nods. "You." He says, and you like the sound of his voice; fittingly just as handsome as the rest of him, you think. But then again- his kind is known for its beauty and enchanting voices. "Keep." He tells you, pushing your closed palm a bit closer to your body as if to underline his statement. You think its cute, in a way.

"Okay." You say. "I'll keep them-?" You ask, and he doesn't understand, until you point to yourself, and say a name- yours, he supposes.

"Ah-" He starts, pointing to himself. "Jungkook. Jeon, Jungkook." He tells you, and you nod, smiling.

"It's nice to meet you, Jeon Jungkook." You smile, and he grins back, slightly sharpened canines in stark contrast with his bunny-like smile.

He thinks its nice to meet you too.

"But you're a witch, aren't you?" Jungkook argues, staring at Taehyung. "I thought you were all so capable." He challenges, and Taehyungs eyes darken- quite literally, since sea witches do technically have black eyes- but conceal them, as to not scare off people. He regains his composure however when Jimins hand lays on his shoulder.

"Now now, no need to become huffy." He says. "He didn't say he can't do it- he simply told you that its not that easy." He explains, and Jungkook sighs, rolling his eyes. Ever the spoiled prince, they think to themselves.

"I don't care about that." He states. "Can you do it, or can you not?" He asks, and Taehyung thinks for a moment.

"I.." He begins, before he sighs. "I can. But, there's a catch, Jungkook." He tells him, and this time, the youngest of the group seems just as serious as he listens. "I can't promise that.. the result will be what you will expect." He says.

"What do you mean?" Jungkook asks.

"There's a chance she won't survive it."

He doesn't think much about why you're so often sitting on that rocky structure close to the deep- he likes not having to get out of the water to be close to you. And you think, Jungkook is quite the interesting being.

He’s curious; that much you can tell. His hands rest on your knees, your toes sometimes brushing against his abdomen as he swims closer- face coming forward to properly look at you. His vision must be bad outside of the waters you assume, his brown eyes squinting in concentration until he huffs and let’s himself back into the waters. You chuckle, and simply take off your jacket, slipping into the water as well as you control your breath- his entire face brightening at your body now underwater in his world, finally clear to see for his eyes.

You’re pretty, he thinks, definitely prettier than any other human he’d encountered before. The clothes covering your breasts and private parts a bit dull and boring for his taste- but he’d change that soon. He smiles, happy, before holding up his finger as if to signal for you to wait before he swims away, elegantly and fast. You swim up to breath some air, catch your breath, until there’s a hand around your calf, holding, fingers running over the skin, signaling you to come down again. You follow his question, taking a deep breath to meet him underneath the surface; his excited hands wrapping something around your neck, before he swims in circles as if he’s suddenly got too much energy. You point to yourself, as if to ask if you can keep it- and he nods, wide eyes watching you with a smile that you can’t help but mirror.

You don't quite realize what he's doing.

He however thinks you know. You know that he's courting you, and you're interested in him. You know that he's just given you more than a simple gift. He only believes you're letting him work for it- something he happily does, taking on the challenge as always. He swims closer, holds your shoulders, as his eyes look into yours, his gaze happy and child-like almost. He's close to finally showing you affection- but you suddenly swim to the surface instead.

And even though he knows you only wanted to breathe, he can't help but feel slightly sour at the ruined moment.

"You're awfully happy these days." His mother says, watching her son in the gardens of the palace. "May I ask what has gotten you in such a bright mood?" She asks, and Jungkook doesn't quite know how to break it to her. He knows its not forbidden, knows it has, and does, happen each and every day it seems- but there's still fear inside of him. Theres still hesitation, even though he is not ashamed of what has happened- of what he has done. His mother however notices. "You know you can trust me, right?" She says, and he nods.

Its now or never.

"I've found a mate." He says, and his mother smiles warmly, holding his cheek as she kisses it in congratulation. "Its a human." He says, quietly, hurried- but his mother continues to smile.

"I have suspected as much." She states. "Your friend- Park Jimin- is not very good at talking quietly." She snickers, and Jungkook curses under his breath about how he wants to strangle him. Theres a huge weight lifted off of him however; finally having said it, made it very real to him, in a way- even though it was already.

Because, after all; you were wearing his kingdom's sigil around your neck already. He had claimed you.

He's restless the next time he swims to the shore to meet you again- eager to see you to give you the news of his family's acceptance.

You're late- later than usual, and his brows are furrowed, mood upset at your mannerism. You're usually always on time, always just as eager to see him he thinks- but this time, you're not there. After his anger however, he grows increasingly worried instead. What if something had happened to you instead? Oh what a bad person he would be to be mad at you for getting into an unfortunate situation. As guilt slowly makes his way into his body, claims his muscles, he moves to sit on the stone he usually finds you on. He tries to look around- rain on his skin making it possible to be out way more comfortably.

He spots movement above.

Theres a person he can't make out- throwing something off the cliff down into the sea, and Jungkook clicks his tongue in anger, already upset- but still curious on what it was the person had been so eager to discard. Typically, its tiny things or plastic he finds- but this is something else, he knows.

Underwater, he smells blood.

His pupils contract, eyes widening, as he spots the black bag slowly making its way to the bottom of the sea- red trail leading from it. Its not the blood however that makes him frantic- its the smell of it, of you, that stops his heart.

He gets you out the bag, his anger over the entire situation diminishing into nothing as he holds you close, eyes spotting the deep cut on your side, and the scratches on your face. Unsure where to bring you, he holds you close, brings you onto his back as one of his hands hold yours, your arms around his neck. He swims quickly to the only place he knows you can breathe.

The underwater cave is big enough for now, he thinks, as he brings your body onto the ground, out the water. He doesn't notice he's crying, doesn't quite speak, his native language of clicking sounds and little noises escaping him as he whines out for your attention, waiting for you to wake up somehow. He's been so invested in making you like him and accept him that he's got no idea what to do with a human. Are you cold? How can he warm you up? How does he stop bleeding wounds? How much can you bleed before you die? Are you already dying?

Jungkook doesn't know what to do. So he simply lays by your side, holding you close, in hopes his slightly higher body temperature can keep you warm.

"He's doing the best he can-" Jimin says, Seokjin next to Taehyung as they both lean over your body. Both witches are concentrated, already exhausted, but there's no way they're giving up on you now. Not only because you're important to Jungkook- but because no one deserves to simply die like this.

"I know, I know!" Jungkook huffs out, pupils turned into cat like slits- a clear sign of the absolute terror and chaos inside of him. "What if they're best isn't good enough? Jimin, I can't loose her, you don't understand-" He starts, but Jimin holds the younger one's shoulders, for the first time serious with him.

"I do." He glances at Taehyung. Jimin had saved Taehyung before as well- the young sea witch having been hit by a fisherman's harpoon years ago. Ever since then, Jimin had been attached to the witch like glue. "Trust me, I really do. And they're doing all they can to make sure she's going to be fine." He promises, and Jungkook nods.

All he can do is pray.

When you wake up, there's several things you notice.

First, you're alive. Having a raging headache, and your limbs and muscles feel horribly tender, but you're alive. There's also strings of rope tied to two rock formations acting like a clothing line, several blankets and clothes hanging from it. They don't look human-made to you- the fabrics and designs not something you would think of as regular. There's a bucket and several stained rags- now copper-brown with old blood. Its then that you look down, seeing your cut sewed shut.

You also notice its rather soft underneath you.

Its sheepskin laid over seaweed you notice- the whool soft and fluffy, and warm. Everything seems to be so thoughtfully placed, even some decorative items- you can spot fireflies casually sitting in a jar close by, and burned wood, probably to . Probably to make light during the night. You're tired however, so you simply lay down again. Quite honestly, surely you should fee worried about the situation- but then again, there was no one to miss you, no place you called your home anyways. No use in worrying- because deep down, you had your suspicion.

A Jungkook swims to the surface with the plastic box in his arms, he's careful not to throw it too hard onto the ground. As he steps out the water, he's sure to at least try and his his hands of most the water before he goes to check on the blankets he had brought this early morning. They've dried enough, he notices, and is glad about that, as he picks one up.

You don't have to be cold anymore, he thinks.

He's unnaturally careful for his typical character- his usual behavior quite the opposite as it was now. Now, he's making sure you're properly tucked in, as he notices your eyes watching him.

He freezes, for a moment.

Jungkook hasn't really thought much about what would happen if you were to wake up- after all, Seokjin had told him he was unsure if you were to wake up this early in the first place, and Taehyung didn't even know if you would wake up at all. He'd told his younger brother to be prepared for any reaction really; fear, confusion, maybe even anger. But you seem calm, curious even, and Jungkook decides to sit down in front of your face, waiting.

"You brought me here, right?" You ask, and he nods, eyes not leaving your form.

"You-.. hurt." He points to the spot where your wound had been. "Also hurt." His hand points to your head. "Brothers, helped." He informs you, and you smile, nodding at his words. He suddenly looks at the ground, mumbling. "I.. worried. Thought... you, dying." He tells you, and you sit up slowly again, keeping the blanket around your shoulders.

"I'm not dead though." You say, and he nods. "Thank you, Jungkook. Now we're even." You say, and he tilts his head in confusion- a mannerism you could only think of as cute. "I saved you- you saved me." You say, and he smiles, nodding.

"I-" He starts, leaning forward a bit, now way more energetic and lighthearted as before. "I- we-" He growls a little in frustration, and you cant help but giggle at his troubles- the chirps and clicks escaping him foreign- but somehow, they feel hazy, as if your mind knows the language, but has forgotten what it meant. He's trying so hard you notice, and appreciate. "You like here?" He asks, and points around. You nod, and he beams at you. "I made." He tells you, proudly so.

"I guessed as much. Its very thoughtful of you, thank you." You say, and he nods, happy you like what he did for you. Its not a permanent solution, obviously, but as soon as you're healed well enough, he already planned a new spot for you to come with him.

You just don't know it yet.

There's a weird feeling inside of you.

It's like homesickness, you think. Every time you look at the waters, you feel- sad? It's making you uneasy, and with every day passing by, it just gets worse and worse. But it's today, that you cant take it.

When you dip your legs into the water, it soothes an ache you can't recognize ever having. It helps your skin, it somehow feels as if you're breathing again. But It's not enough, you think- before you let yourself fall into the deep end.

You're floating.

It's like leaving a stuffy and crowded mall, just to stand in a park, fresh air after it had rained, and light breeze clearing your head. Everything is silent, but not at the same time- the water around you feeling as if you're being hugged, held. It makes you relax, makes you let go, makes you only exist for a moment.

You're floating.

And there's a sudden wave of realization that you're also breathing. There's no water in your lungs- or maybe there is, and you just don't feel it being there. Darkness surrounds you as you don't know where you are exactly- theres no telling where is where, no way to know if you're upright or not. Maybe you've died?

Did you drown?

If you did, it would explain Jungkook being there. He's swimming towards you with a face full of worry, as he grabs your wrist and holds you close. "I can't even let you out of my sight for a mere day it seems, my love." He sighs, and your eyes widen. Its almost comedic how his own do the same, focusing on your neck, as he touches.

You're sensitive, and shift away from his touch.

"It-" He starts, now holding your shoulders, as he begins to smile. "It worked! It really did- by the dragon kind, you look absolutely divine!" He laughs, and can't help but hold your hands, eyes roaming your appearance, as you don't quite get it- until you follow his gaze.

Just like him, there's fins now on the sides of your calfs, smaller ones on your ankles as well. Theres also ones decorating your outer forearms- they look like the ones you'd always see on goldfish as a kid. There's something alike to scales as well, but barely noticable. "I- what happened to me?" You ask, and Junkook smiles.

"You.. almost died." He admits, taking your hand and swimming to what you assume is back towards the cave. "You had been robbed during the day, and when I found you.. well, you know what happened." He says. "While you were asleep, we were thinking about what to do. There was no way you would survive as a human- so, a friend of mine- Taehyung- performed a ritual, together with Seokjin, my brother." He says. You finally spot light, glad to be able to have at least some form of orientation. "I'm glad you're adjusting so quickly, my love." He states, smiling at you.

You notice the petname again.

"Jungkook-" You start, as you both reach the cave again, sitting on the edge of where the ground of the cave meets the water. "Why are you.. calling me that?" You ask, and Jungkook seems confused.

"Why do you ask?" He questions. And you don't quite follow, until he continues. "You're my mate- I am only addressing you as such."

Your eyes widen. "Wait- we're-" You start, and its only then that it clicks in Jungkooks head.

"Oh." He says- the dissapointment bitter and evident in his voice. "You.. didn't know?" He asks, and you shake your head, unsure what he means. "I see.." He tells you, suddenly distant. "I.. will bring you breakfast tomorrow.. sleep well." He abruptly says, and before you can say anything, he's already gone.

What just happened?

"There you are!" A voice says, deeper than Jungkooks, but not unfamiliar. Taehyung had been visiting and bringing you food and nescessities ever since that talk with Jungkook. This time, however, Taehyung seems like he wants to say something. You look at him, silently urging him, and he sits down next to you, sighing.

"Does he hate me?" You ask, quietly, and Taehyung looks sad.

"He could never." He says. "He just.. didn't take the rejection well. He'll need time to come around. It won't take that much time- his mother is already trying to get a new partner for him." He explains, and your head whips around towards him. "I- you.. did reject him, right?" He asks, slowly. "You do.. not love him, right?" He urges again, and you groan suddenly, throwing your face into your hands.

"Oh my god I'm so stupid.." You say. "It all.. everything was so overwhelming, I didn't even notice what he was doing." You cry into your hands, as Taehyungs hand places itself onto your back, trying to soothe you. "I though.. especially after I found out about his status.." You mumble. "How could he want me?" You ask, and Taehyung sighs.

"Head up, little siren." He says. "He's still able to hear you sing, if you want to." He says, and you look at him.

"But how?" You say. "I have no idea where the kingdom, or anything really is. And he won't come see me until its too late." You say.

"Well-" Taehyung says, standing up, and holding out his hand. "-allow me to escort the future princess to her lover."

"How did you find me?" He simply asks, not turning around, as you float closer. "I'm sorry, but I still need time to.. get over-" He starts, but you don't let him finish, instead leaning into his back, your arms around his middle.

"I'm stupid." You say. "I'm really, really stupid." He shakes his head, but you continue. "Just because I didn't realize- doesn't mean that I don't feel anything for you." You say. "I just.. felt unworthy, I guess. Insignificant." You admit, and he turns around, holding your face in his hands.

"You really are not gifted with the mind of the dragons king, my love." He states teasingly, the glimmer in his eyes returning. "My status means nothing to me, if that meant I could not have you." He says, and you lean forward, capturing his lips. "I hope you know what this meant, at least." He teases, and your eyes widen, scared you might've done something wrong. "It means you love me." He says, and you chuckle.

"Good." You say. "Because I do."

Even though he thinks you looked like a goddess reborn in your white and pearl decorated gown from the wedding, he enjoys you without it, close to him, just as much. He's alive, he's feeling, he's in love, as his hands move over your skin, his senses filled with you and nothing else.

The sounds you make for him are sweeter than any siren's song he's ever heard or could ever sing himself. No member of his kind is as enchanting as you, he decides, as he bites and kisses the sensitive skin of your neck. Jimin had teased him relentlessly the entire evening and night by trying to send you sweet words, to which you didn't react- but that didn't mean that it didn't piss him off.

You were his.

His princess- and soon to be queen, one day.

And he's planning on making that very evident, as he marks up your skin with little bites, visible for everyone to see. He wants everyone to know, even though by tomorrow, the entire Kingdom will celebrate the marriage of its prince anyways. He's more than ready to show you off, to hold you close, to have people see the divine being at his side that's you.

It's only natural for his hands to roam your skin, for his lips to worhip every inch it seems, as you reach out for his hand every second it leaves you. It's painfully endearing he thinks, how you can be so innocent and pure, while he's between your legs, performing the sinful act of pleasuring you with his mouth.

You pull him towards you, as you straddle his waist, leaning down to kiss him. He's in god's divine lands he thinks, as he suddenly feels you sinking down on his awaiting length. You fit around him perfectly, more so than he could've ever imagined. And as you both move, he holds you close, happy that here, in his world, he doesn't need to breathe.

He can kiss you as long as he wants.

(c)Bonny-Kookoo. I spilled strawberry milk on my poor laptop while writing this.

[a-world-in-grey]

Honestly, I'm not sure exactly what the Lucis Caelums have in the archives about Adagium's Curse? It's not like they let anyone who manifested said curse live very long, so I don't see the Rogue or the Wanderer writing any of that information down where someone else could find it. I imagine they had journals, but I don't think the journals had anything about the Wanderer's magic, given how they had to hide it. @secret-engima what is in the royal archives about the Curse?

Fortunately, Sola never has to wonder if she's actually her Papa's daughter! She, unlike the court, is well aware that she has magic. She just has to keep it hidden because using it could hurt her and other people. But oh, if anyone dared voice those rumors in Sola's earshot? Well, the court wouldn't have to worry about Regis' wrath. No, they'd have a furious five year old tearing them a new one for 'saying mean things' about her Papa, Mama, and Uncle. One of her parents or uncles probably have to step in to carry Sola off somewhere so she can calm down. After which yes, Regis would probably set Cor on the court and terrify them into behaving.

Regis and Aulea spin the paternity test as something they do in order to shut the gossips up. After all, Regis and Aulea are 100% certain what the paternity test will show - and they only do it after the gossip upsets Sola and Regis is hoping the evidence will shut the court up because if they upset his daughter over this topic again he'll do worse than set Cor on them.

Baby Sola isn't thinking quite that far ahead when she decides she doesn't want to be Queen. For her it's more along the lines of 'I don't like these mean people, but Papa is King so he has to be nice to them which means if I become Queen I'll have to be nice to them.' Needless to say, Sola does not want to be nice to them. Ever.

Sola's not happy to have to stop using her magic, but she can feel how worried Papa is so she grudgingly goes along with it. She's less happy having to pretend she doesn't have magic at all, but Papa and Mama and Uncle Cor have never given her a reason not to trust them. She's still got a rudimentary sense of other people's magic, that's not something she can really turn off, but she gets really good at tucking her magic away inside her soul and not using it.

The Vitae have always kept an eye on the royal family, tracking when the children are old enough to go through the ritual and ensuring they're able to spy on it. Otherwise they probably have a small number of spies that rotate through living in Insomnia to keep abreast of local news in case there's something important they need to warn Galahd about.

After Regis decided to defy tradition and keep Sola? Two different Vitae infiltrated the Citadel staff in order to keep an eye on Sola in case they needed to quickly get her out of the city and to Galahd. Regis may be the Mother's child, but Galahdians don't take risks when there's children involved.

Noctis probably isn't cursed in this version. Partly because Regis having two children supposedly without magic would be impossible for even the king to pull off, and partly because of my personal hcs where it's only the eldest child who has the chance to inherit the gold magic.

Noctis would still be the prime target for kidnappers because he's the only one known to have magic, and therefore the only one capable of inheriting. Plus, Noctis wasn't trained by Cor the Immortal for five years. The kidnappers don't want to test if Sola's willing to expand her throat ripping tendencies to kidnappers instead of just assassins.

Wandering Vitae saw Noctis, noted the similar appearance to a number of Ulrics, and went 'wayward rebellious Ulric child somehow slipped past the Praesidium and Furia' instead of 'missing Kinslayer Prince.' No, Galahd is never going to let that Vitae live that down.

Oh, oh I really want the Galahdians to send Regis an apology letter, that's hysterical. Alas, I think the more likely scenario would be that they have a couple Vitae bring Noctis back to Insomnia because almost twenty years after the Wall fell or no, Galahd's still really cautious about letting in Outsiders. Especially Lucis Caelum Outsiders.

Ok, last one, I think (I could be wrong (: )

Sola and Thrown to the Wolves au. Specifically, the version where Regis never goes to Galahd, so all he knows is what Mors told him before he died and whatever he found in the archives.

Now please take a moment to imagine all the potential angst that comes from the fact that Regis' first baby is under Adagium's Curse. (Whatever that's supposed to mean, because the royal archives are surprisingly silent on the topic.) His tiny teeny baby girl who was born premature and who fought for her life so fiercely is supposed to be a monster in human skin.

I don't think Regis would ever abandon her, he's not called the Father for nothing. But he's certainly not going to have a good time in this verse. +Sola's less-than-human instincts would probably make things even worse.)

I'm always up for asks if you've got more! (they make for a great breather from studying for finals)

You are right. This is so angsty. >:)

Regis' heart breaks when he puts his little Sunshine through the ritual, when instead of needing the potion held in a white-knuckled grip, Sola's skin slowly knits back together under the faint glow of golden magic. But even as he holds his wailing daughter close, wiping away blood to reveal skin unmarred by so much as a scar, Regis knows he cannot abandon his daughter here. Adagium's Curse or no, Sola is a child. His child.

Regis leaves the broken shards of a potion and doesn't look back.

And the Vitae watching from the shadows wonder.

In this 'verse, Sola grows up having to hide her golden magic. This is not the time of the Rogue or the Wanderer, technology is everywhere and Regis cannot risk Sola living beyond the Wall with the war in an uneasy ceasefire.

The court believes Sola without magic, and rumors abound of Sola not being Regis' daughter at all. Sola looks so like her mother, but she acts much like Cor, and it doesn't take long for the gossips to speculate that Cor and Aulea were having an affair behind Regis' back.

No one in the royal family is amused.

Even after a paternity test is provided to shut up the worst of the gossips, the court pushes against Sola as Regis' heir. Surely the Ring will not accept one without magic, they argue. And for all Regis tries to shelter Sola from the court, he cannot stop everything from reaching the ears of his sharp little girl.

When Sola, all of five years old, tells him that she refuses to be Queen, Regis' heart breaks all over again.

None of the adults tell Sola the truth of her golden magic. They tell her that she cannot use it because it will hurt her and those around her, but they do not tell her about Adagium's Curse. Regis and Aulea hope, that with love and care, their bright and fierce Sun will not grow up to be the monster described in faded legends.

Oh, they see her less than human instincts. Watching Sola so closely, they'd have to be blind to miss them. They worry, because they think this the grain of truth to the legend, a manifestation of the Curse.

And yet... Sola isn't malicious. She's fiercely protective to the point of bordering on possessiveness, more inclined to attack first and ask questions later if she perceives a threat to Hers. But Sola doesn't attack anyone who doesn't attack or threaten her or hers first. She never subjects anyone to abject cruelty. If Regis hadn't seen Adagium's Curse first hand, he'd think Sola simply too similar in temperament to Cor.

Then Sola tears out a man's throat with her teeth.

In the aftermath, Sola's fairly certain she wasn't supposed to overhear Regis, Clarus, and Cor talking in Papa's office. But she does, and she overhears 'Curse' and 'not-human', and Sola's already heard more than a few people referring to her as a monster these past few days to realize that Papa and her uncles are talking about her.

Sola sneaks around the library looking for anything she can on curses, dodging suspicion from her papa and uncles by insisting that she's more than old enough to find her own books. One of the librarians, a woman with really cool dark eye makeup and lipstick, helps Sola with her research. Unfortunately, Sola's unable to find the answers she's looking for, but one afternoon when she's curled up with Noctis for an afternoon nap, Sola resolves that Curse or not, monster or not, she will protect her little brother. No matter what.

When Sola's old enough to formally apprentice to Cor, Regis shares his magic with her, as Noctis is still too young yet to properly create a Retinue bond. There's no question Sola is Noctis' Sword, just as there's no question that Gladio and Ignis are his Shield and Heart, but they're planning to wait until Noctis is at least sixteen.

Only, Noctis gets kidnapped before that can happen, then picked up by a wandering Vitae and brought back to Galahd.

Where originally Noctis would be utterly baffled by Galahd's insistence that Regis was a bad father, Galahd knows how Regis loves and cares for Sola despite her so-called 'curse.' Galahd knows it to be no curse, knows Sola's non-human instincts instead come from the Draconian's Blessing (Galahd's been dealing with those same dragon instincts for millennia, they know it when they see it and Sola's very dragon).

Regis knows none of this. He had every reason to abandon baby Sola to her death and erase her from the records.

He didn't. He lied. He kept her hidden, kept her safe and loved as best he could, and the handful of Vitae spies hidden amongst the Citadel staff have seen it all.

It seems the Father is the Mother's child after all.

When Regis and Sola arrive, Regis demanding to know where his son is with Sola's rumbling growl reverberating through their bones, Sola's growl cuts off with a jerk of surprise when one of the Furia trills at her, reassurance-Hoard-safe-not-seeking-fight brushing up against the embers of gold magic suppressed inside her soul. Sola stares at the Furia with wide eyes, because no one, not even Uncle Cor for all his growls and chuffs, has ever responded in such a way to her.

Things get sorted out, and before they leave for Insomnia, Sola and Noctis and Regis get to meet their aunt/sister and cousin/nephew, and Sola's given an invitation to come back to Galahd to properly train her gold magic.

@secret-engima if you want to add anything from Galahd's perspective feel free to join in!

[mageofseven]

What about the brothers reaction to MC wanting a baby? Like, how they would respond to it, feel about it, deal with all the intricacies that comes with a planned pregnancy and think when they see their children for the first time?

Okay, so I've obviously written about the Brothers becoming parents before, but it was always more of an accident.

Planned pregnancy though? Coming right up!

Oh! And I kept the pronouns gender neutral for this, but since it involves pregnancy, MC is afab, I guess the term is? Not fully sure.

Also, unlike my main series for this, there are no complications for these pregnancies so the brothers don't have to worry about MC as much.

~

Lucifer:

Honestly...the anxiety this man feels is hard for even him to hide.

He loves MC; his Heart is everything to him and the only one that he's ever felt he could lean on emotionally. They are there for him when he'd usually have no one and because of that, he doesn't want to deny them anything as long as he can help it.

However...parenthood is a daunting thing to him. He is already a father, regardless of whether he or Satan acknowledges it, and with the direction his relationship with his son has gone, he honestly feels like a failure as a father

So to have another child to risk hurting in the same way he has with Satan? The man doesn't feel okay with the risk.

It takes a lot of comfort from MC to get him to agree to it

And from then on, he prepares.

To start with, he takes some time off of work and RAD for them both.

It's not just for the baby-making activity, though of course they do plenty of that while his brothers are at school.

It's also time for the two of them to just be together and enjoy themselves. He takes them out for lunch, watches any movie they wish, cuddles with them on the couch or bed, even dances with MC in the music room to one of his safer records.

This free time is not just to start the path of parenthood for them; it's a romantic time to enjoy themselves and express their love for each other more openly and freely without worry of his brothers interupting or Luce needing to get back to work.

When they offically discover that MC was pregnant, the anxiety crept back up in him, but his Love's excitement and smiles were enough to push it back.

Despite always having a heavy work load, the oldest made it a priority to have the nursery done very early on and stocking up certain things like diapers, clothes, and toys.

His anxiety pushed him to make sure everything was perfect, but MC had to pull him aside a few times because Luce, they are only three months along, chill dude, you have time.

With time and more reassurance from MC, his anxiety really did fall, though didn't completely disappear and hovered over her as much as his work allowed.

When MC went into labor, he had everything under control. He called the doctor and kept calm as he watched over his Love.

When he held his daughter for the first time...it was as if everything shifted inside of him. He was less worried about failing her and more concerned with making sure he doesn't.

He vowed to make sure Ksenia always feels safe, valued, and loved.

Mammon:

Um...have you seen his bank account, MC?

Y'all are nowhere ready for children, financially speaking.

In truth, Mammon does want kids; he's a very family oriented demon, even if his family doesn't see him that way.

But damn, he really has to get his shit together in order to be a good dad.

After hearing this Human beg for it though, how could the second brother say no?

Before they actually start the whole baby-making process though, the man has a debt to deal with now that he can no longer justify staving it off.

He managed to pay off a huge chunk of it by stealing from the demon lord's castle but after getting punished by Lucifer and facing a disappointed MC, he decided to pay off the rest and start saving up in a more honest way.

Honestly, it wasn't his preferred way of making his Grimm, but MC went on and on about morals and what they'd be teaching their child if they found out their dad was selling other people's shit so they could have him or her, and a lot of other guilt-tripping that the Avatar of Greed gave into. Man, they haven't even made the freaking kid yet and he already has to get his act together...

Debt gone and a decent start to his savings later, the fun part actually begins--making the kid! The demon couldn't help but gloat to his brothers about much he was getting laid, which was embarrassing to MC but hey, it's cute seeing the human's cheeks all red so no drawbacks for the Greed demon.

Once discovering MC is pregnant...well, Mammon is one of the brothers who hovers over his human, though he denies it the whole pregnancy.

When his Human went into labor, it was the kind of thing where the man pretended to be calm, but was obviously freaking out and eventually he fainted.

He woke up though and just in time for his Human to push out their daughter.

Cassia...just one look at his little girl and he knew that all of his hard work before and the self-improvement he's been trying to do...he knew it was all worth it.

Leviathan:

Boy choked on his chips when MC asked him for a baby.

Like what did he just hear???

His Henry wants a baby--with him of all people??

Yeah, I mean, he is their boyfriend, but still, the Avatar of Envy felt like this must be bad judgement on the human's part.

I mean, he's a dirty otaku. The demon doesn't even understand why they'd date him, but wanting a kid with him?

There's also the fact that...well, what it means to be an otaku. Having a kid doesn't exactly fit in with his shut-in lifestyle.

Basically, it left him feeling as if he doesn't deserve to have a kid with his Henry and that he wouldn't be good as a dad anyway; being a shut-in otaku is all he knows at this point and since being dad kinda requires you to, ya know, not be that and putting your kid first, he really has no faith in himself.

But MC did and honestly, that meant a lot to the Envy demon.

Things weren't decided in that moment. Knowing that their boyfriend was overwhelmed, the human simply asked him to give it some thought and told him that they'll love him regardless.

The man let it sit with him for a couple weeks and everytime he saw a kid in an anime or saw a commercial for some kind of toy, the otaku wondered 'what if'. What would it really be like to be a dad?

It was anime that finally made him cave. Seeing families and parents interacting with their children in them, it really did tempt the man. He recognized that it was fiction and being a parent wouldn't be exactly like that, but still; it made him wanna try.

Seeing MC's face light up when he told them he'd do it honestly made the man feel good about himself.

When MC becomes pregnant, he doesn't necessarily hover; he doesn't feel the need to always be around them or limit what they can do. He's simply more touchy-feely, surprisingly enough. Not in any inappropriate way; just more hugs, hand holding, cuddles. He just insists on more closeness than before, which MC has no complaints about.

When MC went into labor, he was a bit panicky, but pulled through. Unlike Mammon, he never fainted and was able to give support to his Henry through the process.

Holding his son just felt...surreal. Like, how the hell did this happen??? I mean yeah, he knows how, but still, it's just unbelievable. He has a son. He's a dad.

Levi honestly never thought his life would be brought to this point, but looking down at Kai, he was glad it was. In that moment, he was anxiously optimistic about their future.

Satan:

....

Yeah, MC, sweetheart, this man doesn't particularly like kids...

It's not necessarily a hard 'no' though.

After all, Satan doesn't like saying no to his sweet Kitten if he can help it.

The two spend a while discussing it, going over all the prep work they'd need to do, the finances of the situation (like, both in regards to their own finances and literally showing them statistics of how much Grimm demon parents have to spend on average for their children from birth to adulthood), and about how their life will change if they take this step. About the sacrifices they'll have to make and the new responsibilities. After all, the couple won't be able to just focus on each other anymore; their routines will have to change, their be energy put towards caring for the child. Their whole lives will have to revolve around them.

The human accepted all of it though and was ready for the change.

So the blonde agreed, despite his own feelings on the matter, feelings he never thought to speak up about before and after hearing MC's request, doesn't want to.

The couple didn't really set time aside with baby-making in mind and try to rush things. They simply slept with each whenever they just happened to be in the mood for it, like always, but stopped using the runes on they commonly put on MC for birth control.

Essentially, they just went through their days as normal and just let things happen at their own pace.

When MC became pregnant, the Wrath demon had to admit, their excitment was contagious. Seeing them happy...it really felt good to the blonde, despite his own feelings on it all.

Satan wasn't the type to hover, not really. He looked after them, giving little reminders of what they can and cannot eat in this condition as well as when they needed to take certain vitamins, but otherwise, things continued on as usual between the two.

Though his feelings about becoming a parent never completely changed during the pregnancy, seeing his Kitten's belly grow and them look forward to this child more and more as time went on, it did give him the feeling that he made the right choice

And when he felt his child kick inside MC for the first time, the realness of it all really put a crack in his mentality.

Their baby...this was a being who sparked such joy in his Kitten and that was enough for the Avatar of Wrath to start to love his child, though he didn't recognize that fact at the time.

When MC went into labor, he kept them calm and comfortable. Walked with them when they wanted to walk, which he read was good for helping labor along, and gave encouragement whenever his Kitten needed it.

When his daughter was born and he watched his Kitten hold her close, crying happy tears, the man couldn't even describe what he was feeling within himself.

When MC asked if he wanted to hold their daughter, Satan declined. Not out of rejection for Amelie but...was it really safe for him to hold a being so delicate?

"Satan..."

With his Kitten insisting with such a cute, sad face though, how could he not?

Extra carefully, he took his daughter into his arms, causing the small baby to whine and reach up her little hands at him.

This. This was the moment that he realized that despite his original bias that he really did love his daughter.

Amelie was a gift that he never knew he wanted; knew he needed. Thanks to MC though, she's here and with two parents that her more than anything in the three realms.

Asmodeus:

Asmo is a brother that I can honestly see things happening either way: with MC bringing up the idea to him or Azzy bringing the idea up to them.

Asmo loves babies--at least, I see him as someone whose mostly good with them and likes the idea of them. He can't handle things like diaper changes or anything gross like that, but he finds them adorable.

And what would be even cuter than a baby? His baby. I mean, how can you carry genetics from this man and not be gorgeous?

Luckily, MC agrees. The two don't stop to talk about anything practical with the subject. They want a baby so Azzy has the two of them start making them right then and there (well, after Lucifer scolds Asmo for trying to do so on the living room couch and the couple retreats to his room).

The first of the brothers to be genuinely excited when MC ends up pregnant and not be overshadowed by anxiety.

Very touchy-feely during his Dolly's pregnancy, more than usual. Especially once MC starts to develop their cute little belly.

Lots of kisses and talking to their belly, even long before the baby has developed enough to hear him.

This man just has too much love for his child and can't contain it all till they're born.

When MC goes into labor, he's not too anxious, but he feels bad that his Dolly has to through such pain.

Very good at comforting the human during this time. Gives lots of kisses and encouraging words, telling them how well they're doing and how their baby just can't wait to meet them.

Cries when he first holds his son. Sees Liam as the most perfect and sweet being to exist, only tied with himself and MC.

Beelzebub:

Let's face it; Beel was the one who brought the topic up. This family man got baby fever and immediately ran to Muffin for help with it.

Like, I can literally see him rushing into the kitchen while they're on cooking duty and MC smiling and asking if he'd like to taste test, only for him to blurt out that he wants a baby, as if it was something as simple a cookie or a new shirt.

After MC gets over the shock of such a request, they sit down with Beel and actually discuss such a big step.

Regardless of whether MC had thought about it before this moment, how could they say no to this big sweet man who has an endless amount of love to give?

After agreeing, MC has to coax the man away because he gets a little too excited and wants to start right then, but the human still has to finish dinner.

After dinner though! Baby making time!

Becomes insanely happy when his Muffin ends up pregnant. This man literally couldn't stop smiling his cute freaking smile even if he wanted to.

Doesn't really hover over them while they're pregnant; there's honestly little to no anxiety in this man over his child or worry about the pregnancy.

He does, however, do practically everything for them. Let him carry that bag. It's fine. They don't need to be carrying something so heavy. Tired? It's okay, go rest; he'll cook dinner instead. Feet hurt? He'll carry them home so they don't need to walk anymore.

Just a reminder that this is all done out of love though and not anxiety. He's not worried about anything going wrong; he just loves his Muffin so much and is so grateful that they're willing to have his baby.

Finding out that MC was carrying twins just made him even happier. MC had no chance of breaking free of his bear hug (which of course, he was very careful not to squeeze their belly so it was more a side hug).

Spent a lot of time during the pregnancy snuggling up to MC's belly. Anytime the two of them laid down together, he did it. Whether on the couch as they watched a movie together, or in bed together at the end of their day or as he laid with the human as they took a nap. He'd nuzzle their belly and speak soft, sweet words to their babies.

The only time this man shows any negativity about this pregnancy is when his Muffin goes into labor. As it progressed, part of him felt guilty since they were in this pain because of him. He loved their twins and wanted them to be born, but hated that MC had to cry and scream and writhe in pain to make it happen.

When it was finally over and his girls were in the world, being fed by his Muffin, this man couldn't stop watching them. His daughters. Daughters. Devil, they were so perfect to him.

And that was the day where he felt his life could never get any better. His Muffin had just perfected his life with their loving heart and hardwork and the man honestly couldn't be happier. Arsenia and Anais are exactly what he's been missing in his life and his love for them is immeasurable.

Belphegor:

MC...sweetie...this man doesn't like kids at all 😔

After having to deal with Satan as a kid, he has long decided that he doesn't wanna deal with them anymore.

So when MC brings it up to him and asks their boyfriend for a baby, he honestly will not be able to understand why they'd want one.

Yeah, Belphie loves MC, but this would still be a very hard 'no' from him.

Honestly, the only way MC would be able to get a baby from him would be by reminding him of the Incident™️, of him murdering them, and essentially being like 'a life for a life'.

Belphie holds a lot of guilt within him for killing them and whether he realizes it or not, a part of him has been desperately searching for a way to atone so he doesn't have to feel bad about it anymore.

So if this is the way to do it... he guesses that he has no choice.

It's honestly sad. MC really wants him to want a baby too, but can only hope his feelings will change down the line.

When MC becomes pregnant, he understands even less about why they'd want this. Each day, he hears his human in the bathroom, dealing with their morning sickness, and wonders why they want a baby so bad even when they're making them puke their guts out every morning.

Still, he takes care of them. Belphie is a lot of things, but an asshole isn't one of them. He wasn't just gonna knock them up and let MC suffer through it alone. Even if they wanted this, it doesn't change the fact that they're still his Human and that little gremlin making them puke was his kid so he's gotta take care of them.

Doesn't sleep as much as he used to while MC is pregnant. Tries his hardest to stay awake and help them out when needed.

Mostly only naps when they nap and as MC gets farther along, they need plenty of naps.

Finding out MC was pregnant with twins...devil, the man felt like he had the worst luck. He groaned and with it, he hurt his Human's feelings on accident.

He wasn't trying to ruin this for them. He wanted MC to be happy, really he did; all he could think about when he heard the news was how much extra work it was gonna be though. I mean, one baby already demands a lot of time and energy to take care of, but two? Ugh...

Kinda hovered over them during the pregnancy. He just wanted to make them as comfortable as he could, despite the fact that he still for the life of him couldn't understand why they'd choose this for themself. Puking, back pain, exhaustion, weird ass cravings. How was this worth it to the human?

He wanted to understand, but he couldn't and since he couldn't, all he could do was accept it and try to lighten it all for them, if he can.

When his kids kicked for the first time, MC's eyes lit up before they quickly stopped and grabbed their boyfriend's hand.

"Belphie! They kicked! They--" He watched the light drain from their eyes as they deflated. "Oh...sorry, I forgot for a second..."

God, this was the last thing he wanted. The seventh brother put so much effort into trying to make them happy, but they still think he cares so little about something that made them happy, just because it's about their kids?

"Show me."

MC raised an eyebrow.

"Are your sure?"

Belphie sighed.

"Just let me feel it, Butthead."

The human brought his hand to their belly, watching him closely. When he felt a kick, the man's eyes widened.

He didn't really say or do anything at first.

"Belphie?"

He took his hand off their belly, but never let MC's hand leave his. He squeezed it.

"You don't have to avoid things like that with me, Dummy. I'm glad they're healthy enough to do that."

And that was the truth. Belphie was glad his kids seemed to be doing fine. I mean, they're strong enough that he can feel their kicks so that must be a good sign

And most importantly, he wanted his Human to share with him the moments that make them happy because that's the point of all of this; to make them happy.

Devil, was this man anxious when they went into labor. Not that he let MC see that, of course. Like he tends to do with a lot of his emotions, he bottles them up and just focuses on helping his Human.

When his children were born and he watched MC hold them so close, so lovingly...he honestly didn't know what he was feeling, not fully.

All he knew for sure was that these three were depending on him and always would.

It took him a year or two, but he did end up bonding with his kids. Judas and Lilith...being their dad was different than he thought it would be. It wasn't always easy, especially with how much Lilith misbehaves at times, but these are his kids and they love him without limit. The Sloth demon had to admit, such love was just contagious.

The four of them were actually happy. This wasn't just some obligation he had to fulfill anymore; this was a life he enjoyed living and he honestly couldn't remember the last time he could say that before his twins.

[crossdressingdeath]

Seeing your post about how JYL has a 'ranking system' in her head when it comes to WWX and JC hits so hard, but honestly, the more I read into the Jiang family dynamics, the more I agree. JYL obviously loves WWX, but I don't know if she's capable of putting him above JC. And we see her defending him, and she obviously gives her life for him, but she was also reacting in the moment. Not to speak lightly of her sacrifice of course, but I just feel like there are certain limits to how 1/7

far she's actually willing to go for him. I was initially one of JYL's staunch defenders, and always said that, unlike JC, she didn't have the same amount of political power as him, wasn't in a position to do anything about the Wens, ect. But...I'm starting to question if that's really true. JYL may not have had much direct political power herself, but she was the sister of a sect leader, and even if JC was unwilling to help, JYL had just married into the richest and most powerful sect 2/7

at the time. It was a love marriage, JZX adored her and would've done anything for her if she'd just bothered to ask him for it. Madam Jin also cared for her and respected her, and between her and JZX, had JYL actually bothered to tell them anything, I'm sure they would have been able to sort something out. Or she could have had it as a condition of her marriage - I'm not marrying into the sect that's trying to kill my brother unless you tell your father to stop. Had it been reversed and 3/7

The Lans were calling for JYL and JC’s deaths, no way in hell WWX would’ve just married into the sect, regardless of LWJ’s involvement. Instead she just doesn’t really do anything. We see no proof that she ever tried to see WWX after the wedding dress incident, which — god I instantly saw it as a sweet gesture, but now it just bothers me, because your brother is living in squalor, and you decide to show if the expensive dress that you’ll be 4/7

wearing when marrying into the sect that's trying to kill him, you bring along one bowl of soup for him, and don't even try to explain WHY you're marrying into said sect. Beyond that, we don't see a single moment up until her death where JYL actually seems concerned about WWX, puts in effort to try to see him - she doesn't even ask him how he's doing the one time she does come to see him. When we compare that to how WQ treats WN, yeah, she's outwardly not as loving or sweet, but she 5/7

goes to the ends of the earth for her brother, even going as far as to betray her sect and risk WRH's wrath because he asks her to. And now we come back to that ranking system you mentioned before - yeah, it really does seem like JYL places her blood family first, which definitely hurts, but in comparison, despite only knowing him for a shorter amount of time, WQ truly grows to think of WWX as a second brother. And she treats him as such, at an equal level with WN - after JZX dies 6/7

WQ doesn't attack WWX for what happened. She doesn't try to come up with a way to sacrifice WWX instead and let WN survive in his stead. She and WN, two people who have become WWX's family, both give their lives to protect both him and the rest of their remaining family members. And it's just frustrating to think that the one member of WWX's adopted family who we all thought treated him like an actual brother, might not have really been on his side after all. 7/7

Yes! To start with the wedding dress thing, because it drives me nuts when people treat that like some super sweet act of love: JYL shows up in the Burial Mounds with no money, no sign of having tried to talk the sects around, no news outside of her own, no food beyond a couple bowls of soup (one of which she gives to the guy who can’t eat), and doesn’t so much as ask WWX if he’s okay. She literally came all that way to have a family meal, ask WWX to name the future nephew it’s becoming increasingly clear he’ll never meet, and tell him about her impending marriage into the family that’s currently doing everything in its power to destroy WWX’s life. Like, if you think about it that entire visit is such a slap in the face; “Here’s a bowl of soup while the people under your protection are starving, oh by the way I’m going to marry the son of the guy actively trying to get you killed, okay bye”. All you can say in regards to her helping WWX is that she does potentially manage to persuade JZX to invite him to JL’s one month celebration, but if memory serves the novel never actually specifies whose idea that was and it was JZX who decided to go get WWX after JGY told him about seeing JZXun heading in the direction of the Burial Mounds. And even then JZX does the same thing JYL does; sees WWX outnumbered and surrounded and tells him to stand down. At least in JZX’s case you could argue that the actual fighting hadn’t broken out and JZX probably trusted in his authority to be able to sort the situation out so long as WWX wasn’t actually acting aggressive (or defensive, rather), and he’s also physically strong enough that he may well have been able to intervene if the cultivators had attacked. JYL, when she does the same thing, has no authority and no physical power to defend WWX with. And yeah, both JZX and Madam Jin adore JYL, and neither of them seem super fond of JGS (JZX respects his father, but I don’t get the sense he loves him); if JYL had asked them for help it’s entirely possible they would’ve started at least circulating her version of events and demanding a proper investigation into what happened. But there’s no mention of her so much as trying, and she doesn’t offer to ask them when she visits WWX.

And yeah, compare WQ to JYL and it’s... well. WQ is so quick to offer WWX her love and care? She’s harsh, but she loves him and views him and WN on such equal footing that she and WN willingly hand themselves over to the Jins for WWX’s sake without her so much as bringing up the possibility of saving WN instead. There’s no ranking for WQ; WWX and WN are her brothers, and she loves them, and she’d do anything to protect them. When it becomes clear she can’t save WN (like hell the sects would let him live, and by this point it’s pretty clear that WWX won’t be able to protect them forever) she throws her whole weight behind defending the brother she thinks she might still be able to save, even if it means bringing WN with her to die. WQ knows WWX for... a year or two? Maybe? The timeline is a little hazy. Not long compared to JYL, anyway. And yet she’s willing to walk all the way to Lanling to die in the hope of saving him. It’s for her whole family, yes, but she makes a point of including him. Basically, I think this fandom needs more stuff wherein the Jiangs and Wens survive and the Wens are fully like “Our brother now, you don’t deserve him”.

The thing with JYL is... she loves WWX, she genuinely does, but he is never going to be first for her. To the point where she outright enables JC’s abuse, in places; she always expects WWX to be the one to grin and bear it. Hell, one of their first conversations involves JYL cheerily allowing WWX to cover up JC locking him out of his bedroom and scaring him out into the woods by threatening to set dogs on him! Let me rephrase that: she allows a traumatized nine-year-old to hide the fact that the kid her dad expects him to share a room with locked him out of said room on his FIRST NIGHT and threatened him with his LITERALLY WORST FEAR, and as far as we know makes no attempt to tell JFM herself. To keep JC out of trouble. That is such a thing! WWX was scared to the point of running away and JFM expects him to share a room with the person responsible for that and JYL goes along with him promising not to tell JFM so that JC won’t get in trouble! And from that day forwards everything is just “Boys will be boys” to her. Like, let me put it this way. Before LWJ (and arguably the Wens before that, although WWX saw himself more as protector than protected there) JYL was the person WWX trusted to protect and care for and comfort him above all others, yeah? She’s the one he thinks of as having his back? He doesn’t tell her about JC trying to kill him. JC tries to kill WWX three times before JYL’s death, and WWX doesn’t say a word to her about any of them. You could argue that he doesn’t want to involve her, but... JYL pretty clearly takes JC’s side every time JC starts having a go at WWX. When he chases him out of their room, when he starts snapping about how annoying WWX is, when he stabs WWX... She never outright says it, but there really does come a point where by staying neutral you’re siding with the aggressor, and she reaches that point a lot. Hell, the stabbing is one of those aforementioned near-murders! JC stabbed him! According to WWX (who downplays serious injuries, he never exaggerates them) he had to hold his guts in! WWX is talking about a pretty fucking serious injury (and JYL grew up in a cultivation sect, I don’t believe for a second she doesn’t at least know what constitutes a serious injury) while JC whines about a broken arm like it’s worse than having to physically hold your guts in until you can reach a doctor and JYL acts like those are equal! JC could easily have killed WWX and has enough training with the sword to know better than to go for a blow like that in a staged fight and JYL doesn’t even suggest he should apologise.

Honestly? The more I think about JYL the more it pisses me off that she’s treated like WWX’s best sister more than WQ is. Imagine WQ seeing one brother stab the other in the gut and take the former’s side because the latter broke the former’s arm. Imagine WQ so much as considering allowing a child to cover up the kid he’s supposed to share a room with locking him out and scaring him into running away. She wouldn’t! Because WQ sees her brothers as equals. She won’t pick WN over WWX just because they’re blood siblings; she loves them both, and will choose based on who she thinks is in the right. And she wouldn’t just stay neutral to avoid rocking the boat, oh no. If WQ heard WWX say that WN stabbed him and did enough damage that he had to hold his guts in... oh boy would WN have a bad day. The thing with JYL is that she seems like a good sister in comparison to the rest of the Jiangs; stick canon JYL into a family that genuinely loves WWX and sees him as equal to their other children, and she would not look anywhere near as good.

[selfilluminatingkyu]

Dancing with the Devil(s): Chapter IV

Previous|Current|Next

F!Reader x Adult Trio; this takes place during the same timeline as Season 3 of HxH but the events with Kuropika and the crew are just shifted a little. Things will align back up within the next couple of chapters.

Warnings: Subtle Mentions of Torture and Abuse.

Word Count: 3.1K (She a lil short) 

As the name rattles off of Hisoka’s lips, you furrow your eyebrows. Is he someone you know? Is he someone you should know? A thousand thoughts run through you head in the span of a second and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that there is a reason behind why Hisoka would ask you whether or not you knew someone. 

You also weren’t completely insufferable in your lack of underworld knowledge. You knew who the Zoldycks were. Had heard many of the wealthy families mention the name before. Wealthy families got to where they were not because they didn’t deal in shady things…they just happened to have enough money to pay someone else to do it for them…and keep it from ever tracing back to them. 

You remember being at a gala not to terribly long ago. The patriarch on the family hosting the event had left midway through to speak to an older man with grey/white hair. You’d gone to the bathroom when he’d walked out of the office with the other man—who’d looked extremely pale and weathered as compared to when they’d left. You’d smiled and apologized, telling them you’d gotten turned around on your way back to the party, and the man with the grey/white hair, Zeno Zoldyck you’d come to learn, had simply smiled at you before nodding to the host. The other man had disappeared out of view and the two of you were left alone.  

“My, my you have grown into a beautiful young woman since the last time I saw you y/n.” He’d said and you could only blink, registering quickly the sheer power rolling off this man. There was no malice behind it, nor intimidation effect, it was simply him. 

“I’m sorry sir, and forgive me for being rude, but do we know each other? I don’t recall ever having met you before.” You said, smiling softly but anxiously, wracking your brain for anything to give you a clue as to not incur your mother’s wrath for forgetting a powerful man’s name and presence. 

He chuckled, walking closer to you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. “No need to worry dear, we’ve never met before per se, but I do know who you are. I’m well aware of your parents’…pursuits. Your name has come up in conversation before and the last time I saw you or a photo of you, you were quite small. Maybe no older than 10 or 11. I was merely making an observation.” 

You smiled again and nodded you head, understanding and yet feeling embarrassed and ashamed that you probably looked no better than a filly up for auction, because truthfully…you weren’t. 

“Oh! Well it’s nice to meet you—” 

“Zeno, Zeno Zoldyck. And it’s nice to finally meet you as well y/n y/l/n. And I’m sure this won’t be the last time we see each other.” 

Thinking back on that situation now, back on the first time you ever met Zeno, you wondered how exactly it was your name had ever befallen the ears of the Zoldyck patriarch. Regardless, to be asked about a Zoldyck was odd, even coming from Hisoka. 

“I know of the Zoldycks, I’ve met Zeno a couple of times. But I’m not well versed in the members of the family. Is there any particular reason why you ask Hisoka?” You ask, thinking it over more as you answered, wondering where the missing link was in your knowledge. But when you looked up, in that moment, when the words had only just left you mouth, the look in Hisoka’s eyes made you think that not knowing may have been a small grace than a hinderance. And in that moment, you were somewhat grateful the water was already growing cold, because the shock of chill that ran through the air wasn’t nearly as potent. 

The small seep of bloodlust in the air made you take in a breath and try to sink into the furthest side of the tub away from him. The hairs on your body stood up and gooseflesh peppered across your skin. You bit back the whimper that wanted to escape and instead looked at the imposing man before you with wide eyes. The shift in demeanor, you realized, was not direct at you but something else entirely. 

“Did you ever see the man you were initially going to be engaged to?” Hisoka asked and this made you pause because you had told Chrollo of your past but not the rest of the Troupe and you were certain that it was not information passed along to them as they’d been dismissed when the discussion had happened. 

Was this slip up intentional, to make you put the pieces together or had Hisoka’s apparently bloodlust caused his tongue to run away from him? If you were a wagering girl, and you really weren’t, you would’ve bet on the former instead of the latter. Hisoka was calculating and manipulative. You knew his interest in you had made you into a new toy to play with and this seemed like a twist in his play with you. Keeping this in mind, you responded accordingly. 

“Yes, once, late one night when I snuck into my father’s office. I wanted to see what he looked like. This elusive person who was supposedly going to be my husband. He was attractive, but I never was told his name because, for whatever reason, my parents ended up forgoing the engagement. I was never told why exactly, and it never dawned on me to ask honestly.” You chose your words carefully, watching him the entire time to gage the way he reacted. 

That wasn’t entirely a lie, it wasn’t also entirely the truth. You knew why you parents had never gone through with the engagement; the family, while incredibly powerful and wealthy, was part of the seedy underground and that didn’t bode well with their agenda. A family like the Zoldycks fit perfectly within that description you realized. Although, it was an inclining you’d had after the second time you’d met the Zoldyck patriarch and his son, Silva, the current head of the family and business. They’d been nice, familiar even, and they’d been assessing you. At the time, you hadn’t exactly been sure as to why, but you’d wondered if they’d been the family who’d been very adamant about marrying you to their eldest son. 

However, they thought had derailed when Zeno had made an offhanded comment about wondering if you’d be into younger men and you’d been utterly confused. Were they not them? Were you mistaken and they too were now interested after meeting you? You’d never truly gotten your answer though because the next time you saw them, it had been a strained meeting as you’d been their target. Why Zeno had come and told your parents that information instead of just doing his job, and risking his reputation in the process, had puzzled you even more. 

“HISOKA! Enough!” The roar from Phinks had startled you as had the slamming of your bedroom door. Curling in on yourself, you’d just managed to cover yourself before Phinks and Shalnark had busted through.  “Keep your bloodlust in check, it’s giving me a headache. And what are you even doing in here you pervy bastard? Leave the poor girl alone. You’re needed downstairs anyway, something’s come up.” 

Both blonde men gave you a quick once over, probably making sure that you weren’t harmed by the magician but nodding their heads towards the door. Shalnark gave you a smile and a wave before trailing behind Phinks. “Come on Hisoka, don’t want to keep the boss waiting.” 

Hisoka turned, beginning to move towards the door again before stopping. “Don’t think too hard on it little dove. We wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.” 

And with that he’d walked out, slamming the bedroom door behind him, leaving you utterly confused and feeling chilled to the bone. 

Was this Illumi Zoldyck guy your previous potential fiancé? 

Was there another member of the Zoldyck’s who had almost taken that roll instead? 

Or was Hisoka just trying to find out some sort of other information that you just weren’t able to see yet? 

You didn’t know the answer to those questions right now…but you were certain you were going to get them, whether you wanted to know or not. 

That night, you’d gone to bed shortly after you’d forced yourself to climb out of the bathtub. The water had grown cold, and your skin was pruning uncomfortably. The peace in which you had hope to find, even a sliver of, had never come to you, so you hoped maybe sleep would just be a void. 

And while you hadn’t been completely wrong, you also hadn’t been completely right. 

At first, you’d fallen asleep easily, not even the noises of what was taking place downstairs had deterred you from finding solace in the black abyss. However, that had apparently been short lived as a few hours later, you’d slipped into a nightmare.  

You were surrounded by people you didn’t know, and they were talking about you, looking down on you. It was then you realized that you were strapped to a table and that you had wires running from your body to machines. They didn’t appear to be normal medical equipment though, but you couldn’t say for certain that they were made out of nen either. Regardless, seeing the wiring connecting to your body and then to unknown machines left your blood running cold and your mind running a mile a minute as to how to get yourself out of this situation. 

“She’s extraordinary. Just extraordinary! With powers like hers…you could rule the world…could rule worlds. There is an unlimited number of things you could do and accomplish with this kind of power. Who knows where it stops!” The excited voice from beside you startled you. 

The small man in a lab coat and mask was standing closest too you, scribbling things on a clipboard as he looked at you in awe. You tried to ask what was going on, how you had gotten here, what he was talking about, but nothing came out. Not even a whimper and whisper of breath. You frantically looked around, trying to find a face, a friend, anyone you recognized and kept coming up empty. The faces were blurred, and your eyes began to strain. The sound of voices chattering and a machine clicking barely registered to you…

…but the pain certainly did.

Excruciating was putting it mildly and you quickly understood why you were bound, outside of not allowing you to flee your captors. The pain seared through even molecule in your body and those that it hadn’t even created yet. Your back arched off the table and your mouth dropped open in a silent scream. Your throat felt raw, like you’d done it before…possibly even several times before. The only thing that actually seemed to escape you were the tears from the corner of your eyes as the pain stopped and deftly you registered that the machines had stopped but the voices had picked up. 

What they were saying, you couldn’t tell. But as the noise kicked up tenfold, the pain did as well, and this time when you screamed…a noise came with it. 

“Y/n wake up! It’s just a dream! You’re fine. Wake up!” You bolted up right, screaming yourself hoarse as the pain creeped its way from fantasy into reality. It jarred you to the bone and without thinking you struck out at the closest thing, sending it hurling away from you in an effort to end whatever was causing you pain. 

What you hadn’t realized was that that “thing” in which you had sent flying had been Chrollo. Didn’t realize it was him till he was nearly striking the wall on the other side of the room, caught off guard by your sudden attack and the power behind it. It was also then that you realized there was an aura radiating around you and there was immense power coming from it. 

You looked to Chrollo wondering if he had always been this strong and had somehow been masking it. But looking at him, seeing the wild, almost gleeful look in his eyes, made you realize that the power was not coming from him…but yourself. 

“I need you to breathe for me y/n and focus on controlling the aura that’s around you. If you don’t get a control over it, it’ll continue to seep out of you, and you’ll pass out from the loss.” He spoke softly, walking up to you slowly like you would a terrified animal, afraid that in its fear, will lash out at you and go for your jugular. 

However, his tactics were a bit sabotaged when Franklin and Feitan came flying into the room, nen activated and ready to take on anyone who posed a threat. The hostile energy pouring out of them had your fear peaking again, the faces from your dream flashing before your eyes and the power in which you’d thrown at Chrollo was surging again, zeroing in on the new threats and detonating without so much as a blink from you. 

Both of their boys went flying as well, Chrollo, seemingly reading your nanosecond of a shift in body language, braced in anticipation, activating his own aura, and deflecting easily. As he seemed to watch two of his strongest members go soaring across the room as if it was no big deal, the look in his eyes seemed to increase tenfold and suddenly he was behind you, wrapping himself around you and smothering you face into his chest. 

“Shhh, you’re okay. They aren’t going to hurt you. No one here is going to hurt you little one. I promise.” He stroked your hair and while you realize the sentiment that he was going for, the affection left you feeling even more displaced. 

You could feel your body seemingly gearing up for another act and, despite still being unsure as to where these people lie on the spectrum between friend and foe, you did not want to hurt them anymore than you already had. With that in mind, you tried to even your breathing out; tried to think of a dam stopping the free flow of water, and all thing similar to keep yourself from exploding with aura again. And that, coupled with Chrollo’s continued words of assurance, seemed to do the trick, and stop up the free flow of energy. 

As the bubble around you seemed to smooth and flow but not run, you realized you’d started to sob at some point, the tears streaming down your face and a near continual stream of whimpers and apologies pouring from your mouth. Apologies to Chrollo for the initial attack, apologies to Franklin and Feitan who’d only come to make sure everything was okay. You didn’t know what was going on or how things had escalated so quickly but you were sorry and you hadn’t meant to hurt them. 

You weren’t entirely certain the message hadn’t gotten out clearly, if the pissed off look on Feitan’s face was anything to go by, but you weren’t entirely certain that hadn’t been there prior as the man seemed to wear a scowl frequently. 

“What…happened…?” Feitain asked and you could feel Chrollo shift, looking at them while maintaining the comforting stroking on your hair. 

“I’m not sure. I came up here to check on her when I felt a spike in aura and heard her crying out. I couldn’t sense another presence outside of her own, but we’ve met nen users capable of cloaking themselves before. However, when I came in, she was thrashing about, when I woke up her…the same thing that happened to you happened to me.” 

“Clearly not as hard though. You seem fine. I feel like I’m going to be sore for days after that power she just threw at us.” Franklin muttered rubbing at his arm and stomach. 

“Such…a…. baby…” Feitan muttered, earning a side-eyed glare from Franklin. 

“I wouldn’t say it was any less powerful, it was more like she registered who was in the room with her right as she threw the power out. I’m almost certain she did the same with you, and my presence so close by also muted her attack, afraid she’d hurt me in an effort to harm you two.” 

Franklin and Feitan looked from Chrollo to you and then back to Chrollo before looking at each other in disbelief. “You’re saying that wasn’t her full power?” Franklin asked, the shock and awe clearly evident in his voice. 

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. I can’t even begin to feel the depths of her power, let alone where it ends.” 

The words seemed to hang in the air, all three men seemingly having a silent conversation that you were not perve to, nor did you think you ever would be. You had known from the start, regardless of what degree of comradery you obtained with these people you would always be an outsider, never allowed to fully know the scope of everything. You’d never be told all of the details, never know the full extent of all of their abilities, never know the ins and outs of it all. And you did not mind that, not at the moment at least, because for what you did not know, you had come to understand that these were dangerous people, people that were probably on several hit lists and wanted by many…and you did not know if you ever wanted to truly be associated with them. 

While sitting in the tub, you’d come to the conclusion that you would use them to obtain the skills necessary to save your younger siblings…and that would be the extent of it. You were not a killer, did not fancy yourself someone who killed for sport or out of the desire to prove you were stronger or better than others. No, you did not believe your wants in life to align at all with those of the people in this group nor did you think they ever would. So you’d do what was necessary to be able to get your siblings back, to be able to protect them and keep them safe till they were capable of doing as such on their own. But once you’d achieved that goal…you were as good as gone. 

[lunarreaper-ut]

How exactly did killer loose his arm? Was it cuz he got distracted or was it tactic to prevent something even worse?? ;-; how did nightmate take that sight? How did he get the idea to give killer some of his magic to make an artificial arm for him, did he knew it would work? Was it a hard or painful process for any of them?? (God i love the idea of killer getting a shadow arm from nm >w< makes him even cooler! Kyaaaaa~ still a sad thing tho uwu)

Was nightmare ever in the mood/need/curious to ask killer sing somehing (for him~)??

What ships will happen in kingdomverse??

Alsoo... Uhh dont know if thats an OK question but can they get pregnant? I wanna know if babybones are an possibility in the future? qwq

Ah yes... the Incident.

Allow me to explain the unfortunate event in which Killer almost failed at his job.

(This is gonna be heckin, and I mean HECKIN long. We got some worldbuilding ahead!)

How did Killer lose his arm?

This event happened several years after Killer began his duties as Royal Guard. Dream had already told Nightmare he no longer needed a Royal Guard, and Killer already expressed his wish to stay as one. Nightmare and Killer were frequently having their nightly visits, and things were going well.

One night, however, after Killer had returned to his room and the two had settled in for bed, something happened.

Now I haven't mentioned this before, mainly cause your questions have thankfully not uncovered it >w< During Nightmare's reign, there was much despair in the Kingdom. Negativity brings out the worst in people, as we're all aware I'm sure, and it's no wonder that some people would be driven mad by the results of Nightmare's actions.

Some people began to believe that if they worshipped Nightmare, they would be spared from his wrath and from the destruction his crafted creatures wrought. These people formed a cult dedicated to Nightmare, praising his actions and renouncing their loyalty to the Sun King. They called themselves The Corrupted.

Cults are a very hard thing to get rid of, especially if you weren't aware they existed. When Dream returned and cast Nightmare into the Void, the Corrupted hid themselves in the shadows, vowing to return only once their "True King" returns as well.

The issue arose when Nightmare did return from the Void. Nightmare, throughout his reign, was most often seen as his "transformed" self, and it was that self that The Corrupted worshipped, not Nightmare.

The Corrupted believed that they could bring back the "True King", and to do so they needed to remove the "Imposter King". The cult spent time learning the routines of the castle in order to break in to Nightmare's quarters when they were certain no one was around.

They had acquired a drug meant to incapacitate monsters and suppress their magic, and modified it to be several times as strong. Nightmare certainly wasn't at his strongest either, the Kingdom was a naturally positive place when Dream was around.

A few cult assassins threw a smoke bomb filled with the drug into Nightmare's room while he slept, and unfortunately it worked well enough. Nightmare wasn't unconscious, but he didn't have as fine of control over his magic or his own body.

The assassins came into the room, intending to kidnap Nightmare, but it's rather fortunate that Killer is a light sleeper, isn't it? Killer came into the room just as one of the assassins was about to grab Nightmare.

There was quite a few of them, as they'd been prepared for resistance, and though I hate to say it, they were skilled too. They weren't just some guy picked off the street and given a weapon, it was as if they'd been trained for years just for this moment.

It's likely they had been. Killer was having difficulties, but holding his own well enough. He would only really need to hold them off long enough for the guards to get to the room. Well, that's what he thought until he saw another assassin coming towards a practically immobile Nightmare, and he clearly wasn't intending to just kidnap the King.

Killer moved without thinking, and without his armor he was much more vulnerable to attacks... but getting injured wasn't an issue. He had to protect Nightmare at all costs, even if it meant he got hurt. That was the moment he lost his arm.

Killer didn't have time to register the pain, and slew the assassin who dared attempt to harm Nightmare. Killer was outnumbered still, and if he was having difficulties before, it was going to be impossible to hold out now.

He was lucky he didn't have to though, as several Guardsmen burst into the room. Seems they'd finally heard the commotion. The Guardsmen drove out the assassins, only managing to capture two. Killer was tended to, and he refused to leave Nightmare's side until the drug wore off.

How did Nightmare handle it?

Nightmare was half conscious in the moment, and so most of what he saw didn't register properly. It was only when the drug had worn off and he saw Killer by his side, sans one arm (Hehe), that it hit him.

Nightmare was angry first and foremost. He was angry it happened, angry Killer was dumb enough to get hurt, angry he wasn't able to resist the stupid drug, and angry that Killer seemed completely unbothered.

Nightmare didn't react well at all, and he ended up putting Killer on temporary leave. When Killer tried to refuse Nightmare said he was useless with only one arm, and Nightmare didn't need a useless Guard. Killer shut up pretty quickly.

Killer was still allowed to stay at the castle of course, but he was forbidden from coming near Nightmare's office, or taking part in any Guard duties. Nightmare believed that what happened was the stupidest thing Killer could have done, and refused to think otherwise.

It was during Killer's leave that Nightmare did research. He interrogated the cult members, and utilized glamours (Which we all know he's not fond of) in order to leave the castle without issue. Throughout his research, he spoke with the Court Apothecary regularly about Killer's injury. How was he fairing, is he at risk of dusting, is there anything to be done, stuff like that.

The Apothecary had made an offhanded comment that Killer is going to be without his arm for the rest of his life, since skeletons don't regenerate. Not unless he got enough magic to replace the missing arm at least.

He mentioned just getting a prosthetic for Killer, but that went in one ear and out the other, so to speak. Nightmare began to think about the suggestion (even though it was a joke). Nightmare had a large surplus of magic, and he thought about whether or not it was possible to somehow weave his magic with Killer's and form a new limb.

By the time Killer had returned to Nightmare, asking to return to his duties, the King had already figured out a way to properly do the procedure. He of course asked Killer if he would be allowed to do so, that he wasn't certain if it would work and that it certainly wouldn't be pretty.

Killer agreed without issue. The process was indeed a painful one... fusing Nightmare's magic with Killer's was difficult, and it was akin to taking a freezing cold needle and sewing a constantly shifting mass of energy directly to his soul. (Not actually how it worked, it's just how it felt).

The only reason Killer got through the procedure was because of Nightmare's intent. We all know that intent comes through to Monsters when involving magic, and Nightmare's intent made the process a lot less painful. Heal, fix, help, care, all those things came through to Killer.

It helped that Nightmare had a good relationship with Killer. His magic was much more willing to accept Killer's and vice versa. If this had been done between Nightmare and a stranger, it wouldn't have worked.

It took Killer a few days to work the arm properly. It was almost dead weight for a while. After that, it took even longer for him to properly fight with it, and longer still for him to be able to utilize the magic it was made with.

Has Nightmare ever asked Killer to sing for him?

Nope, Nightmare doesn't even know Killer can or that he has a good voice XD Killer has never sung in front of anyone, nor does he care to. It's just not something he does, but I imagine there could be a few scenarios where he gets coerced into it. Singing with friends, soothing a wounded animal (Yes Killer would do that, he likes small animals. They're cute.), that kind of stuff.

Nightmare's never had a reason to think Killer could sing. >w<

What Ships are going to be canon in Kingdomverse?

Well we've already got Cream, Killermare and Afterdeath as being confirmed.

Honestly I've kinda decided to leave the others more open for interpretation! If you want, you can say Errink is gonna happen, Lust could probably be someones s/o, it's all up to interpretation >w<

Theres quite the cast of characters in Kingdomverse?, and there might be more added later (if I can think of them), so honestly I'm sure there's no issue with some other ships coming to life!

Basically theres no other planned canon ships >w<

Can the skellies get preggers?

I don't see why not! Nightmare and Dream being immortals doesn't stop them from having kids, but I would say that if they did it would probably be through a different process than mortals.

I'd say that monsters need to make the conscious, or unconscious decision that they want a child or that they are ready for a child before they can have one.

Nightmare and Dream would probably be a bit difficult to have a child with purely because they have an immense amount of power and magic (even after a bond), so it might be a bit risky even for them to have kids.

(if any of you do make ship kids I want to see them though, I love baby bones >w<)

[aelin-queen-of-terrasen]

Could you do a fic where Jude gets amnesia and Cardan has to take care of her? (In elfhame and none of the people known what sickness she has lol). Please make it angsty and fluffy at the same time sjsjjsjs. Thank you so much if you do this! 💗

Ofc, love! I wrote this like, five times and just before I reached the end, I'd delete it so I'm quite proud for finishing at all.

Full Masterlist

cry me a river . . .

I wake up in an unfamiliar room, far too extravagant for my taste.

I grunt, momentarily blinded by the light seeping inside the chamber from the window before someone pulls it closed. The tall, lean figure comes over to sit at my bedside, touching the back of his hand on my forehead as if he is checking for fever. His hand feels warm against my skin and I almost whine when his touch disappears. Black dots swim across my vision and I have to blink a few times before I recognise the person sitting beside me.

Cardan Greenbriar.

If he has ever looked worse before, I cannot remember it.

Tear streaks run down his painted cheeks, glitter smeared all over. His coal black eyes, swollen and red, are fixed on me. I have the strangest feeling that I have seen this sight before, even though I have no recollection of seeing him so vulnerable. It is not something so small that I'd forget.

Did he find out I killed Valerian? That would explain the tears.

Perhaps he wants to finish what his friend started. It seems unlikely that he'd know but I can't think of another reason Cardan would abduct me and risk Madoc's wrath. It has to be the reason—

"Jude? How do you feel?" he asks.

He looks at me like I'm the most precious thing in his world. It scares me more than his hatred ever could.

"Stop," I choke out, stomach sinking more in fear with each passing second. "Tell me what—how am I here? If Madoc finds out you've been hiding me here, the consequences won't be pretty." I don't have to worry about him lying, because no lie can escape his tongue. I know faeries don't need the ability of lying to deceive someone.

Cardan frowns at me. "Liliver found you wounded across the clearing. You went to run an errand, got hurt and collapsed near the palace." I know what the words mean individually, but put together in one sentence, they don't make sense to me, which puts me further out of ease.

"Liliver?" The name tugs at my memory but I can't remember it.

He looks wildly concerned now. "The Bomb, Jude. She found you," he tells me before someone knocks on the door.

The Bomb.

Liliver is probably her true name; or part of it, at least. I wonder how Cardan knows it. I remember her as a part of Dain's court of shadows. The tiny, delicate girl slips inside the room when neither of them answer. Liliver holds a steaming bowl of soup in her hand, which elicits a series of rumbles from my empty stomach. I try to remember when I last ate and the moments from the previous night come crashing down on me: the horrible coronation, Locke's behaviour, her dance with Cardan and their peculiar conversation, then finally the butchering of almost all of the Greenbriar family.

I remembered running away with Cardan, hiding him in the court of shadows and the kiss we'd shared, my blade pressed against his throat. The implication that he liked me and he hated it. Surely, my present condition couldn't have something to do with it?

No, it couldn't have.

"How are you out of the office?" I turn to Liliver, who raises an eyebrow at me. "Who let him out? He is my prisoner, and you shouldn't have decided when he leaves." They exchange confused glances with each other.

Cardan furrows his eyebrows. "Leave? Jude, love, is this some kind of test?"

Balekin and Madoc planned against Dain and he is dead and the protection he'd given me could be over now. Cardan could glamour me into believing anything he wanted to. For all I know, he already has. I shove the panic down, resolved to find out more. If he had glamoured me, I'd be doing whatever he asked with blind devotion.

I ask the first of my questions. "Does Madoc know that I'm here?"

Both of them exchange worried looks. Liliver places a hand on my shoulder and says softly, "Jude, Madoc is in exile in the mortal world. He knows you're in the palace, of course, and we informed Vivienne you hurt yourself on a mission—she's probably on her way—so he also knows you're hurt, I think." My head swims. I can't wrap my head around all the information.

I blurt out the thing that shocks me most. "Madoc was exiled?!" Maybe everyone found out about his plot against the crown—

The doors to the bedroom are thrown open and there's commotion outside. I hear a voice I recognise well and Vivienne enters the bedroom, fuming and covered in sweat. She is panting, out of breath as she comes over to my side, discreetly pushing Cardan back. I am grateful for the familiarity but I cannot help but wonder if this is some elaborate game Cardan is playing, if it's really my elder sister or a product of faerie magic.

Vivi sits by my side, looking offended. "Do you have to face up all the dangers in the world alone, Jude?" Liliver observes me with a curious look. However, it is not her gaze that unnerves me but his. It sends shivers down my spine and I pretend I do not notice it. Vivienne is still talking to me, "honestly, would it kill you to share some load with your husband, Jude?"

I blink. "My husband? What—"

"Jude," The Bomb interrupts, "what is the last thing you remember?"

I am confused and scared and unsure if I should tell her. But she is from the court of shadows and I trust Vivienne. Cardan's presence is unsettling but there is no hint of cruelty and neither of them seem disturbed by his presence. So I tell them. "It was the coronation, Balekin—he killed Eldred and Dain is dead and Cardan and I escaped together and I took him prisoner." A blush rises to my cheeks when I realise what happened next, despite all my hatred for the youngest faerie prince—no, not the youngest. I recall my conversation with Oriana, Taryn's betrayal, Locke's lies and Madoc's plan. "Oak is the next in line for the throne, he's—Dain's child." No one looks surprised at the news, not even Vivi.

Cardan says with deliberate slowness, "Jude, you mean you don't remember anything after the day? Do you remember the arrangement we made?"

"What arrangement?" I don't know what he's talking about. It puts me at a disadvantage against him.

Cardan brings his hand close to me, as if he expects me to shatter. I do not shatter but I do flinch away from his touch. He looks like he wishes I'd struck him instead, blinking rapidly. For a moment, I swear those are tears in his eyes before they disappear.

"Jude," Vivienne says, breaking the silence, "I think there's something you should know."

⊶ ⊷ ⊶ ⊷ ⊶ ⊷ ⊶ ⊷

I listen in horror and fascination and barely supressed surprise as Vivienne narrates the tale to me. Cardan sits beside her, pitching in with details she doesn't know whenever the situation demands it. I grow more and more certain that this is something strange I have dreamed up with every word my sister utters.

It makes the perfect sense—my plan against Balekin and Cardan's role in it.

I remember thinking along those lines when I went to sleep that night, the only question being how I could secure Oak's throne. To be his seneschal but have the High King of Elfhame under my command—the thought alone is enough to make me heady with power but it grows worse as Vivienne reaches the part where Cardan asks me to marry him. I can tell they both tiptoed around what happened in the Undersea, Vivienne because she does not know what happened in there but the uncertainty in Cardan's eyes leaves me with no doubt that he knows what happened there. Perhaps I told him.

It is surprising that I am able to read him so easily, and the ease with which he talks to me implies he is comfortable around me. I keep looking for some hint of cruelty and rage and anger but he is all love and adoration and concern.

Vivienne reaches the part where Cardan turns into a serpent and I'm convinced this is some prank of theirs. Even in faerie, that sounds ridiculous.

But they can't lie, so when my apparent husband says, "It was hell, Jude. I didn't talk about it but it haunted my dreams. You told me it haunted yours too."

"I did?" It doesn't sound like me. "What—how did you come back?"

He looks at me, and his eyes shine with love and sincerity. "You brought me back. Madoc offered you a golden bridle to control the serpent but you chose to end it's life, even though keeping it as your slave would have made you an unchallenged queen of faerie."

Why? The words don't leave my mouth but sensing the question, Liliver answers. "Because you loved him, Jude, you chose to free him. You chose his peace above power, not knowing if he'd come back—"

"—but then he did," I finish for her. "I slayed the serpent and he came back?"

They all nod. I am surprised to hear the details, that the Undersea came to our aid. But it was out of love for Cardan that Nicasia allied with us. They recollect the aftermath to me, Madoc's exile and some of the events after.

Vivienne leaves to fetch me some water and mortal soup for quick healing. Liliver excuses herself soon after. When I look at him, there are tears in Cardan's eyes again, flooding down his cheeks. He makes no effort to hide them now.

"Why are you crying?" I ask, my voice barely above a hoarse whisper.

He shakes his head at me. "You forgot all the good parts, Jude. Without the good parts, I'm just a monster who gave you every reason to hate me."

"I don't hate you." The truth behind those words surprises me.

Even after all I've been told, the fact that I fell in love with Cardan Greenbriar is the one that makes the most and the least sense both at once.

"I—I need to be alone." Cardan's face morphs into one of hurt, and I feel the need to soothe it: "It's just—I need time to wrap my head around this."

He nods, "Take all the time you need."

Then he lifts an unsure hand, reluctant, and wipes a tear away from my face. I hadn't realised I was crying until now. He turns to walk away, his tail curled around his calf.

I say, "I'm sorry I lost all our memories."

"It's okay. We'll make new ones," he promises in a firm tone. And for a brief moment, I see what he talked about.

I see myself in love with him, so in love that I was prepared to sacrifice ambition for a small chance to have him back. I see us living together, teasing and taunting and completely in love with each other, ruling Elfhame side by side. I feel his phantom touch on my body from the night I danced with him at the coronation ball, before everything started—before our story began.

And even when the moment passes, I realise I can love him still, all over again.

⊶ ⊷ ⊶ ⊷ ⊶ ⊷ ⊶ ⊷

I know I say it after every fic but this one was hard so even if it's bad, I'm proud of it. I tried writing from the first person pov, so what do you guys prefer? This or the usual third person limited?

tags:

@courtofjurdan // @thesirenwashere // @nightbringer // @queenofgreenbriar // @jurdanhell // @sweetlyvillainous // @clockworkgraystairs // @blog-lady-vi // @the-dark-swan //@storiesandschemes // @fangirltrash74 // @augustintodarkness // @jurdan7 //@queen-of-glass // @aesthetics-11 // @mijaldraws // @hades-flame // @sensitivehighlord // @annejulianneh111 // @b00kworm // @mysweetvillain // @doingmyrainbow // @curlyredqueen06 // @chaotic-fae-queen // @thewickedkings // @thesurielships //@df3ndyr // @clouds-and-peonies // @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln // @thefolkofthefic // @st00pid231 // @iminsanenotobsessed

[romanceboys]

(interview) cosmopolitan korea november issue 2020 — shining visual, shinee key

1. agreeing to have a magazine photoshoot scheduled a week after discharge must not have been an easy decision. i tried my best to not look like the military had changed me during my service. people don’t notice when you’re in a good condition, but when you come out in a poor state, they notice right away. this will probably be my last schedule for the month of october. i want to rest for a bit. 2. that's understandable. how was your military life? what i gained from the army were health and people. while i was in the military band, i came across many non-celeb friends, especially young friends who did music. it was an opportunity to learn about what people like these days. though adjusting was hard, it was fun.  3. some say that the mandatory service is like a vacation for workaholic idols. would you sympathise? vacation doesn’t seem like the right word, rather i was able to live a planned life. there was time dedicated to resting, training, sleeping, etc., a daily routine. i liked having to live doing things regularly.  4. for key, dancing and singing are a given, but you do more than the usual with acting, variety tv, musicals, etc. i’m curious about whether you tend to showcase only what you’ve gotten good at on your own, since you’re smart, or is it the result of your ceaseless efforts? besides music, i think the rest is just packaged well. though i can’t make it look like i’m doing really well when i do things poorly, it’s got to do with good marketing too. i also think i have a good grasp of how to look like i’m doing well. 5. it’s said that people who are lively and can express themselves definitively end up incurring the public’s wrath at least once, but over the course of 13 years, there was no such happening. others might not know, but i was aware of many of my failures. there were several shows that i didn’t stand out in, or many times when neither talking nor singing worked. through such experiences i think i was able to cultivate my judgement. 6. all celebrities showcase themselves, but they don’t do so without hesitation. comparatively, key tends to express himself naturally. and so, ‘naturally-talented celebrity,’ one with many talents, comes to mind.  had i stayed still and not shown myself, i don’t know what would have happened. i probably wouldn’t have been able to shoot for a photoshoot like today’s either. i’m the type of person who has to do multiple things simultaneously. for instance, i was able to do <amazing saturday - do re mi market> after 10 years of debut. through this program, there were many who most likely saw me and my personality for the first time. but had i not done it, would there be many people curious about me when i’m not in the public’s eye? of course not. though there are people who can arouse the public’s curiosity just by staying still, i don’t think i’m one of them. 7. your objective assessment of yourself is quite cold. i learned that the more you keep denying yourself, the more uncomfortable it gets. there are those who set an absolute standard for themselves and even improve by working towards it, but i don’t think i fall into that category. i came to a realisation by trying out things this way and that way, and then by staying still. in the end, i learned that being passive wasn’t the answer. even if i like my career as a celebrity, it’s meaningless if the people don’t like me. 8. what’s your judgement criteria for making choices? back in the day, i would do things people would like even if i disliked it. but now if i’m unsure about it, i don’t do it. i realised that forcing myself to do something in such an ambiguous state would not make a huge difference to my life. but you never know. i’m saying this now but then i might end up taking on many things randomly. however, what’s certain is the need for something new.  9. in the ‘solitary chatroom’ fans asked about your plans following discharge, to which you replied “i’ll probably be doing something?” have you not found something new to do yet? i’m troubled over whether to start youtube or not. i doubt people will be curious about my unbroadcasted, ‘off’ (-camera) appearance. the problem isn’t whether to start youtube or not, it’s the how that is important too. i haven’t found the answer to whether i can do it unabashedly. while competing with professional youtubers, i don’t even know if my content will be competitive enough. i’ve been deliberating for a long time. 10. after seeing you and your fans converse like friends in the ‘solitary chatroom,’ i felt that you adore each other. it took a long time for me to reach the point where i could show myself to the fans to my heart’s content. the fans must have waited for a long time too. in the past, i was focused on presenting myself to the public. i did take care of my fans back then too, but i thought it was more meaningful for me to show new people new things. whereas, now i know that if i continue to tread in the right manner, people who like me will continue to like me. it seems more proper to deliver high-quality content to those who are waiting for me. 11. it’s your 13th year of debut. i think you might feel beyond colleague camaraderie for the shinee members. whether we like it or not, i think it’s affection. it's all inevitable and natural. it’s difficult to answer questions that ask about how much i love the members or how close we are. it’s like asking one how much they love their mother. neither colleagues, nor friends, nor family; it’s a relationship that is hard to describe. 12. one idol vented, “it’s upsetting that idols are given secondhand treatment despite being young for the years of experience they have.” have you ever had these thoughts? of course. but i do get why people think that way. it’s because they must have seen them working as idols for a long time. if that’s the case, then they (idols) should switch it up; towards something different, something that’s enjoyable to the public. on that note, rain and lee hyori seniors are quite cool and amazing. while continuing to dance and sing, they’ve chosen to keep up with the times as well. 13. it seems like key possesses the perspective of a content creator rather than an artist.  i think the duties of an artist seem to be gradually increasing. youtube has become as popular as the television these days. that’s why i believe one should be able to adapt. 14. is there an unexpected side to you that people don’t know of? i have a simple side to myself, but people don’t seem to know about it. haha. i mentioned this to my military juniors as well that i prefer receiving a letter over presents. i feel like people are burdened by the idea that it’s a must to buy me something nice. of course, since they only see me on sns or tv, they might feel that way, but i’m truly a simple person. 15. what is key’s definition of a break? it’s thinking no thoughts. when i’m having fun or sleeping, i don’t think about work. that moment itself becomes my break. in our line of work, i believe we can change the quality depending on how much we involve ourselves in the process. and so, obviously, you end up with a lot to think about. when i watch a movie, i end up projecting myself onto the character; when i listen to music, i wonder about the song. back in the day, i couldn’t watch audition survival programs at all. because my hands and feet would tremble. this happened so naturally. that’s why i don’t have a tv at home. i only watch what i want to watch separately. 16. when do you feel that you’re a pretty decent person? (there has been) many a time when i like myself but the word decent is making me quite worried. haha. honestly, i’ve had a group of friends for 10 years now. they come running whenever i call them, even if people curse me out i feel nothing when these friends are around. going by the friends i have then, i’m not that terrible of a person, am i? i actually feel the sorriest towards the people who work with me. i can’t help but say things they’d dislike since it’s necessary for work. but seeing how i’m concerned over this itself makes me a pretty decent person, doesn’t it? haha. 17. as i listen to you talk, you seem very simple-minded but also a deeply complex person. being simple-minded is the easiest thing yet the hardest. you have to give up on a lot but can’t because it’s hard and scary. i came to this realisation naturally without any wake up call.  18. do you feel burdened by the fact that your future as shinee key depends on the choices you make now? no. it’s been a long time since i set goals for myself. i believe i will continue to find more work if i do the things i’m assigned without disappointing others. when i was young, i never once thought i’d become the key i am today. it’s just that now there are more people who favourably view my choices than before, so i expect it’ll be the same in the future. 19. only a confident person would be able to say that. i’m easily frightened but i don’t dread. i worry thinking ‘is this right?’ but when it comes down to making a decision i do it conclusively. people who dread a lot don’t take risks, but those with fears don’t run away.

translated by romanceboys — take out with full credit (source)

[ghostmartyr]

SnK 132 Thoughts

This month, more people scream and die.

Exactly as keikaku.

Unlike certain keikakus, however, this keikaku is still missing the essential element of a keikaku in that there is no actual keikaku there’s just a lot of people running around screaming while they try not to die and then the screaming only stops when they die.

People also die when they are killed.

...Maybe.

Before we approach the obvious, the most interesting part of this chapter to me is that once again, Eren is presented with the option of stopping. While he’s in the planning stages of his assault, it is explained quite plainly that strategic strikes will completely undo any country’s attack on Paradis.

Hizuru favors a limited test run of the rumbling. Yelena provides a tactic that uses only a bit of the outer wall. She explains the reasoning. She isn’t wrong.

We’ve already had plentiful examples of what the Wall Titans can do. They can swim. They’re easy to spot from the distance, but there is no ammunition or strategy that can deal with them. Running is the best option, and even that is a risk.

Systematically destroying every single port would have bought Paradis all the time in the world. Yelena has this discussion with Eren back when she is wanting Eldians to die out, so they have different view of what counts as a win, but if Eren had wanted to, he could have easily wielded his massive power to keep every nation’s military from fucking with them.

He doesn’t do that. Instead of a small portion of the walls, he wakes up the entire part. Instead of targeted strikes, he goes for armageddon.

Eren has options. Hange can say that Eren has no solutions, hope, or future, but the lack of hope is all that comes close to the truth. There is a solution right here. Fight anyone who would oppose you, and win. Make it clear that the assaults only happen because they made the mistake of declaring war on Paradis.

Eldians might be treated like crap everywhere, but Eren’s murdered plenty of Eldians with this plan. If his only care is the island, he could have worked to protect it.

Instead, even in the most generous of reads, he's deconstructed Paradis’ government in a time of incredible strife, sowing the seeds for an ugly civil war that has already had its beginning skirmishes.

Eren’s actions are destructive in every single category. When he first activates the walls, Armin still has that flash of hope that Eren is only using the amount of force he needs to put an end to this assault.

He doesn’t. He wakes up every single titan, sends them marching, killing people on this island he’s supposed to care for so much, and now his closest friends are stuck in a world where to prevent genocide, they are probably condemning their own people to an even worse future than they already had.

The thing about this level of power is that you can do what you want. No one can stop you. If this starts with people forcing Historia into a breeding farm, Eren can just murder anyone who’s in favor of that.

(Sidebar: I still am annoyed that no one came up with the obvious solution for that problem. If they need someone with royal blood to still be around in fifty years, just turn Historia into a mindless titan and ditch her underground with specific instructions each new Founder can follow. Titans are functionally immortal when left alone. They’re much less fragile than humans. Any dedicated person could easily kill off all the royal heirs, so might as well simplify the process, keep one royal heir around and relatively invulnerable. Then each Founder has easy access to their power if they just go to the right place. Obviously there are risks, but honestly it’s more straightforward than having a bunch of free-minded little kids be your backup plan.)

Eren can destroy an entire country before even the most knowledgeable titan experts can work out a reliable plan.

Paradis was never in danger. They had this. The rest of the world had a hundred years to forget, but a handful of public demonstrations illustrates the point very, very clearly. Yelena’s strategy was meant to serve Zeke’s plan, but if what Eren wants is Paradis to thrive, it works. He doesn’t have much time left, but he doesn’t need it to destroy other countries’ options of attacking Paradis.

Hizuru is interested in allying with Paradis because of this power. They’re the first. They would not be the last.

At the very least, this would give Paradis more time, which they’ve all seen the need for.

Instead, Eren chooses to destroy everything that might even consider being a threat to Paradis. There is no diplomacy. There is no measured use of force. There is no plan. There is the monsters he’s always hated, and falling so far into the darkness that the freedom he claims to want is destroyed by his own hands.

There were countless threads Eren could have followed, being a demigod. He very honestly could have done whatever he wanted.

So he did.

I feel like we’re still missing why. By the time his head has gotten blasted off, he’s encouraging his dad to murder the Reiss family, and he’s hallucinating himself as a child, I think it’s more than fair to say this war has won against Eren. He’s broken, and this is the path he’s on.

Maybe it’s as simple as thinking in such stark black and white terms that he needs a future with a guarantee, and death is the strongest guarantee he can come up with.

Except going back to just last chapter, this is not what Eren wants. It is not something he is approaching with the passionate conviction of being in the right. He’s in tears over it. He’s horrified by the future he causes, but chained to it because he knows he causes it.

It’s a difficult problem to explain. From a plot perspective, I’m frustrated because there are so many ways this didn’t have to happen. I’ve said before that tragedy should feel inevitable, and with each reveal of what Eren got up to in the shadows, this tragedy feels entirely avoidable.

However, from a character perspective, it does make sense that once Eren’s course of action has been decided, he doesn’t see the other options. The inevitability is a trick of his mind, but it’s a trick that he’s bought into completely, so the tragedy is found in how truly unnecessary this all is. The tragedy is that the most powerful person on the planet is a slave to his own mind.

Here’s where that stops working for me:

We see that character arc play out better elsewhere.

That’s Floch’s role.

Floch is an unlikable, divisive zealot who will happily kill civilians and throw children out of airships. He joins the Survey Corps when it’s the hip and happening thing to do, and has none of the conviction to back up their ideals.

He is the sole survivor of a suicide charge. Everyone around him dies in the space of a few minutes, and he’s left alone to make sense of it.

The only sense he finds is that this has to be necessary.

This is how they win.

The world is chaotic and vicious, and the only way to answer that evil is with evil. This world that hates them is not allowed to wipe them out, and anyone who tries will feel their wrath.

Floch doesn’t bother with mercy or kindness. He doesn’t mind that the rest of the world has to die for them to live.

This is how his world operates. Kill or be killed. Those are clearly the rules. Those have been the rules for a hundred years, more clear than ever when they step outside and are eaten on contact.

If the rest of the world lives, Paradis dies.

Paradis is home.

For as long as it’s existed, it’s been hated. Never mind that the current people living there are also victims of the Eldian Empire. They’ve lived in a bubble, and forces keep showing up to pop that bubble, leaving nothing but bodies in their wake.

It is cruel and appalling.

But Paradis is still alive.

Because Erwin murders all these new recruits, Paradis lives.

Floch is the only one left alive to know that so intimately.

It is not a kind assessment.

It is one he redefines his life by.

Answer devils with devils. Their enemy is the entire world. There can be no rest. There can be no sympathy. As long as the outside world exists, Paradis will be a target for its hatred, and that hatred will eventually succeed in killing them.

Floch believes this. Genocide is not something he has a problem with. He’s been living in a world where it’s Us or Them, and has repeatedly made it clear that he will choose Us.

Floch is a teenage boy who survives brutality he’s not prepared for, and reconstructs his entire worldview around the tactic that tries to kill him. He’s a dick, and he does terrible things.

He believes in what he is doing.

He believes that if he doesn’t stop the plane, Paradis will die. He believes that our little ragtag group of heroes are the final, greatest threat to his home. He believes that Eren’s evil is the only thing that will keep them all safe.

At the end of the day, his only hope is that the Devil is on their side.

Floch dies believing in that hope, and he dies to the people hellbent on destroying it.

It’s tragic and sad, because he could never see anything better.

Our first real introduction to him is him on a rooftop, arguing that a boy whose eyes sparkle at thoughts of the ocean is not a good contribution to the war effort.

On that same rooftop, his devil argues that that is exactly why that boy needs to stay alive.

I understand that Eren’s somewhere that we can’t really reach right now, but I don’t feel like the story has shared the thread of how things got this bad. I can point to a dozen different factors that finally broke the camel’s back, but I wouldn’t say any of those are the reasons canon is operating under. We know that Eren came completely undone when the memories of the future were unlocked, but as late in the game as Marley, he’s still devastated by what he’s about to do.

So why does he do it? Why this choice? Why this way?

I think I spent most of last month’s post arguing that, so I won’t belabor it much more, but... I really feel like something’s being overlooked, and I don’t understand it. It’s hard to say if the story simply has a much different vibe than I expected, so my mind is rejecting all this, or if it’s intentionally weird. I’d like to think it’s intentionally weird, because in my opinion that’s a much better story, but either way, right now everything Eren’s doing feels like an incredibly pointless detour.

...Sure, that will end the world, but who cares about that, give me my character work.

How did hope become an impossibility for Eren?

To less painful things, I suppose.

No one suffers like Mikasa suffers.

I like Annie. She has always, very emphatically, wanted nothing to do with this. She has pride in her skills, but she spends years of her life undercover for a government that hates her, planning the deaths of people she respects. I like her opting out. This has never been her war, really, and she’s finally among people who will respect that she’s done with it.

It adds to the sweetness that Reiner is one of those people, now. As her self-appointed leader, he drives Annie into things she can’t stand, clearly favors Bertolt, and is generally just a pain who’s trying too hard in all the wrong areas.

Reiner gets that, and instead of bullying her into participating when she doesn’t want to, he lets her go.

Annie finally gets to pick her battles without anyone negging her.

It’s not a resolution I expected, but it’s one I’m glad for. It follows the trend of our leftover cast being completely past done with violence.

Who knows if that will turn out well for them, but I like the story taking the gentler approach. The world’s ending, so they might as well take the time to be kind to each other. It’s the opposite path of what ultimately destroys Floch, and I love to see it.

The Survey Corps is represented by their yearning for knowledge. Understanding. For a hundred years, that yearning has been paired with war, and the dead bodies have piled up.

Now, the remaining bodies left who call themselves Scouts are kind of. done with that. They’ve seen too many friends die. They’ve built trains. They’ve seen the ocean. They’ve tried foods from other countries they didn’t even know existed.

Surveying the outside world required weapons because otherwise you’d die, but there’s a reason why Levi keeps on missing the promotion to Commander. Levi is a defender of humanity. When he dedicates his heart, he does it to protect people. Learning more about the world is a side effect.

To match the Survey Corps’ ideals, violence is the side effect. It’s not what they’re meant to be about. Yet somehow they’re all soldiers with huge body counts, guilty even of killing their countrymen.

Levi lets Erwin go on that roof because he rejects Floch’s desire to condemn one of them to being a devil for the rest.

That results in letting a boy who dreams of the ocean live.

Hange becomes the Commander and gets to see their world expand. New friends are made, new technologies discovered. New civilization. New, new, new.

Aaaaaaand it’s still all trying to kill them.

Hange begins as a recruit who hates titans. What saves Hange from that hate is curiosity. At the end, that curiosity and awe is still alive. Even heading into death, we return to that beginning spark of salvation.

“Titans really are... incredible.”

No one else in the world looks at these monsters and sees something amazing. Hange is enamored with them. The world is burning, these things are responsible, yet still. There is wonder to be had in looking at them. They are an incredible, impossible creation, and Hange gets to see them up close.

A world like that has to be called incredible.

That’s why Armin gets to be Commander. Jean’s there to help. Mikasa’s there to help. Connie’s there to help.

But the Survey Corps exists to go out into the world and understand it. If something is hidden under a rock, you lift the rock. If you don’t know why someone’s doing something, you talk to them.

The world is fucking beautiful.

If the person in charge doesn’t remember that, they’re all doomed.

(This is why Levi is not allowed to be in charge.)

It’s a good sendoff for Hange. Time spent with Levi, getting to be a chaotically cool genius who saves everyone... yeah. It’s a good finish.

But this better not be fucking going where I think it’s going.

Let me politely frame my issues with dream sequences and time travel in fiction. I feel that I have done it before, but let us revisit, briefly.

There’s this show called Supernatural.

A thing that happens enough time to warrant its use as an example is that characters see or go into the future, and find that everything is fucked beyond belief. It is all bad, everything is wrong, see how you must avoid this so it never gets this bad.

The frustrating part is that hey, these characters in the future should have the same degree of agency as this guest from the past. Except they don’t. Because the past character is the main character. Future crew is just an extended what-if, and soon the entire plot will be devoted to making sure this what-if never happens. They are not real main characters, so they don’t get to do cool stuff. They’re forever doomed to failure.

The ghosts of the Survey Corps watching the progress of their living comrades isn’t a new concept. Every veteran has been haunted by them. Seeing them at the end of the story, doing exactly what we’ve been told they’re doing... fine, okay.

I just am starting to feel like the story’s quaking for a reset button.

Everything is bad. The world is fucked up beyond repair. There is no plan to deal with it, except to try to keep the global genocide from living its dream. In a world where they succeed in that, Eldians will be more hated and feared than ever before, Paradis being wiped off the map will probably be an international priority, there will be no Founding Titan to protect them, and there’s no path to recovery.

Then we’ve got a shot of ghosts all looking over the current happenings.

We know from Paths magic that all of Ymir’s people are connected. This doesn’t use that imagery; it’s based much more simply in the oath all these soldiers swore. But the point is, we see dead people. At a point in the story where many, many dead people are being produced.

I don’t mind a character being welcomed to an afterlife. A lot of stories go there.

But I am a suspicious, terrible person, and getting a glimpse at sentient dead people at this time makes me wonder if we’re allowed the privilege because they’re going to be newly present in the story.

And I am fine if we go the way of a Madoka ending. It’s better than a Lelouch option, and I like Madoka.

The only thing is, if we are going to hit a reset button, I become very, very cross at some of the choices made. Because sure, the characters might have still made those decisions, but the author knows that things are free to go as badly as whimsy will take them, because it won’t last. And with how my primary objection to the current plot is that it feels unnecessary, and like the choice to go here was made without enough reason to back it up...

It hasn’t happened yet, there’s nothing more than a suspicion that it might happen, but there are some specific kernels of “this needs more canon explanation” that I think the story should have, and if we’re stepping into the afterlife, magic solutions don’t seem far off, and if we get a magical solution without first establishing the non-magical ways we first ended up here, I will have a problem.

But hopefully none of that will even be an issue, and I’ll look back and feel silly for bringing it up.

...It’s just that our main character is not only threatening, but committing global genocide, and as of right now, the win condition is a moral win where everyone lives to oppress Eldians another day.

-tosses charred confetti-

And I feel like that is an incredibly pointless and boring story, so maybe it is not the story we’re being told, so.

So.

To next month.

[flowercrown-bard]

The Boy who Ran: Chapter 4

Whumptober Prompt 9: “Take me intead”

Fandom: The Witcher

Pairing: Geralt/ Jaskier

AN: Please tell me if my writing is too long for Tumblr. I honestly have no idea what the acceptable length for fic on this site is.

Read on AO3

part 1  part 2  part 3

After day that in the forest, when Jaskier had poured every ounce of chaos he had into Geralt, desperate to keep him alive, his resolve had slowly crumbled. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to tell Geralt that maybe he wasn’t as much of a human as he once used to be? Surely Geralt wouldn’t be angry at him for not telling him. After all, Jaskier wasn’t even sure what exactly he was.

With every hour he had spent in the Feywilds he had felt himself become more other. That didn’t mean he was something that Geralt would despise, did it?

That day when he had thought that he would lose Geralt, he hadn’t been worried about him finding out. He had only wanted to save him. And he had. He had made sure he wouldn’t lose Geralt just yet. There would be decades to come that they would be together – centuries, even, if Jaskier got lucky.

It had taken only a little while to understand that Geralt might not have the same reassurance. When Geralt had looked at him that night and told him how scared he was that he was going to lose Jaskier to old age, he would have almost confessed then and there. He didn’t know how much longer his life would become, but he knew for certain that he would outlive any regular human.

He should tell Geralt. It would ease his mind, make him happy even.

And yet, each night that Geralt held Jaskier close, each time they kissed or shared hushed secrets in the night, he remembered why he couldn’t tell him. Because if there was even the tiniest chance that Jaskier’s confession could break what they had, he couldn’t take it.

Tomorrow, he told himself each night, tomorrow I will tell Geralt. For now I will savour every moment I have with Geralt.

*

“What have you done?” Jaskier’s voice held no emotion. If it did, he would cry, he would scream and break.

He began to tremble, as Geralt looked up from the creature he had just slain.

“Jaskier.” How could Geralt’s voice be so even, as if he didn’t know what horrible crime he had just committed? “I had told you not to come after me.”

There was so much Jaskier wanted to say, but he couldn’t find the right words.

“Why?,” Jaskier whispered instead, the only thing close enough to describe what he felt witnessing this horror.

Geralt stood up. Bile rose in Jakier’s throat as Geralt ripped his sword out of the body with a squelching sound. He had to look away, to shut his eyes, as if it would help. As if the image wasn’t branded into his mind already.

He jerked violently when he felt a hand – a blood-soaked hand, a hand that had just taken a precious life - on his shoulder, his eyes snapping back to Geralt, wide and filled with horror. Geralt’s frown softened.

“Because it would have been too dangerous for you. If you had come with me, this creature could have manipulated you and I might not have been able to save you. I couldn’t risk that.” Geralt gave his shoulder what was meant to be a reassuring squeeze, but felt like a threat, death-grip he couldn’t escape. “It can’t hurt you now, Jaskier.”

Something coiled inside of Jaskier’s stomach, a grotesque mixture of fear and disgust and anger.

“That’s not what I meant,” he said, unable to look away from Geralt’s eyes. Not out of bravery. Out of fear. If he looked down, he would have to see the bloody body Geralt had slain. “I meant why did you kill a Fae?”

His voice grew thick with the last word and suddenly it was as though a dam had broken inside of him. The words – the accusations – that Jaskier had not been able to find before took a hold of him, couldn’t be stopped now, even if he tried.

“They are sentient beings!” His voice cracked. “Geralt, you always, always said you didn’t kill beings who could think. They have a culture. They have families and names and songs they sing to each other to bring happiness or comfort.” They were my family. They gave me a new name and taught me their songs. “Why did you kill one of them, Geralt? Why?”

Would you kill me too, if you knew?

Geralt looked taken aback for a moment, before his eyes grew hard.

“Jaskier, those creatures are not the fairies from children’s storybooks. A Fae’s song isn’t meant for lovers, it’s meant to kill. Don’t talk about them as though they are innocent. They could bewitch even witchers. Despite what your fairytales might have told you, they are vicious killers. They hunt humans for sport. Their sole purpose in life is to manipulate and hurt people. Yes, they are sentient, but they are the worst monster of them all.”

That wasn’t true. Jaskier wanted to say it, but the words were stuck in his throat, the dam holding them back was rebuilt, stronger than before. All he was able to do was stare at Geralt with slightly parted lips.

How could Geralt talk like this about his people? Yes, not all Fae were kind. The gods knew there were plenty of Fae he despised out of the depths of his soul, but even they didn’t warrant the untamed venom that had left Geralt’s mouth with every word.

Finally, the words he had really been meaning to say found their way onto his tongue.

“What if you met a Fae who wasn’t like that?” He swallowed hard, trying not to let the small hope that still somehow lived in his chest die. “What if you ever met one that genuinely liked people? Would you kill them too?”

“Jaskier…” Geralt sighed. As if Jaskier was a child Geralt had to tell that his fantasies weren’t true. Almost gently Geralt plunged the knife into Jaskier’s heart with his next words. “I know you want to believe in your tales, but there are no Fae like that. I wish with all my being that I will never meet another one of those beasts again, but if I ever do, I will kill it, if only to keep you safe.”

The hope flickered and died, a candle blown out before it ever got the chance to light a fireplace.  

This was it. No longer would Jaskier lay at night telling himself that he would confess to Geralt the next day. No longer would he imagine Geralt’s smile as he realised that he might have centuries with Jaskier. Instead he would tense and tremble, praying that Geralt never found out, dreading the day that he would.

Because that was the thing. Despite all of Jaskier’s instincts telling him to run, to go back to the Feywilds where he would be safe from Geralt’s inevitable wrath, he wouldn’t. All this life he had run one way or another, but when it came to Geralt, it was impossible. He had to stay.

He let Geralt embrace him, but instead of burying his head in his shoulders like he wanted, Jaskier peeked over them and looked at the twisted body of the Fae that still lay where it had dropped dead, killed by the man who held Jaskier’s body in his arms and his heart in his hands. He owed the Fae that much, to be seen one last time.

Ugly guilt soared inside him and he didn’t push it away. What he was doing was wrong. But he couldn’t stop himself from returning the embrace.

His eyes lifted from the corpse.

His breath hitched.

For a split second his fingers clutched tightly at Geralt’s clothes, before he forced himself to loosen the embrace slowly, as though he didn’t want to push Geralt behind him and protect him with his life against the Fae who stared at him from behind some bushes with murderous hatred burning in their eyes.

“I –“ He broke off, mind racing to find an excuse that wouldn’t make Geralt instantly suspicious, but all he could think about was that Geralt was in danger. “This corpse is too disgusting, I think I’m going to throw up.” It wasn’t a lie. Jaskier’s stomach churned as though it wanted to turn itself inside out.

Geralt looked at him in concern. “Can I help somehow?”

Jaskier waved him off, as he stormed over to where he had seen the glowing eyes before. “Don’t worry ‘bout me.”

He brushed the twigs aside, made his way through the undergrowth to where Geralt’s senses wouldn’t reach and came face to face with the last person he wanted to see, less so now than ever before.

The Fae had their arms crossed, a cold sneer on their lips, exposing their sharp teeth.

“So this is the reason you have been gone for so long,” they snarled. “You made friends with the Butcher.”

“Don’t call him that,” Jaskier hissed. Hearing the name from a creature that held names to more importance than anyone, the word sounded even worse than when a human spew it at Geralt.

“Is it not true then?” the Fae asked, unfurling their arms and stepping closer to Jaskier until they stood almost chest to chest. “Look again at what he had done to my sibling and tell me he isn’t a butcher.”

Jaskier’s heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t deny it. He had seen first-hand what Geralt had done.

Jaskier’s silence was answer enough. With a disbelieving shake of his head the Fae stepped back again, as if Jaskier’s closeness was an insult.

“You think so too. You know what he is and yet you stay with him, let him touch you. Traitor!” The words stung, but what hurt even more was the truth of it. “Did you know that not a single Fae had been killed by a human in ages?” They thrust one clawed finger at Jaskier’s chest, almost drawing blood with the force of it. “And then you get born and suddenly two of my family are dead, slain by those who are close to you.”

“That’s not fair,” Jaskier whispered, his quivering voice betraying him.

“No it’s not. But it’s the truth. You have done it again, Julian. You are once again the reason one of my family died.”

Jaskier’s hands clenched into first, a meagre attempt to hide the tremble. “They are my family too.”

“Are they?,” An ugly snarl slit the Fae’s face. “Then how can you watch them get slaughtered and still stay with their murderer.”

“Because I-“ Jaskier broke off, shut his lips as tightly as he could. He couldn’t let the Fae know.

Judging from the slight widen of their eyes, they didn’t need to hear Jaskier say the words. “You love him.” They let out a disbelieving laugh. “You actually love the butcher.”

“So what?” Jaskier looked away, unable to hold the Fae’s eyes.

“So you are betraying your family.” Before Jaskier could open his mouth to defend himself, the Fae added “Don’t deny it. You have always been a half-bred. You said you don’t belong to the human world, but you left the Feywilds. You cannot jump between the realms as you please. It is time you finally choose where your loyalties lie. You say, we Fae are your family, then prove it. Stay with him and look on as we get slaughtered or stay with us and watch us slay him.”

Jaskier’s head jerked up. “What do you mean?”

The Fae’s snarl turned into a smile that turned Jaskier’s blood into ice. For the first time that day Jaskier thought he might understand what Geralt had meant when he had called the Fae monsters.

“I mean that you don’t use your eyes. You are so blinded by the arrogance of being able to run to the next shiny thing, that you can’t see it rusting with the blood it spills. I am saying that you can’t close your eyes for much longer, Julian. Either he dies or we do. And I for one know which side I think is going to win.”

Jaskier mimicked the Fae in baring his teeth. It didn’t look nearly as intimidating with his human teeth, but the message was clear. “You don’t get to make me choose. You hold no power over me.”

“Oh, but you don’t have to take my word for it. I am not the only one who caught wind of the kind of company you keep.” They got closer again, until their mouth was next to Jaskier’s ear and whispered “Word of advice as a friend: Kill him yourself. It will be more merciful. Better make your choice quick. Time passes so inconveniently fast in this world.”

Jaskier’s eyes widened. “No.” It was no more than a horrified breath as the realisation hit him, took his breath away as though he was thrust into a pool of ice water.

The Fae’s sole purpose in life is to manipulate and hurt humans. Geralt’s words echoed in his head, mocking him. Of course this hated Fae would never just appear in the human world to confront Jaskier. Everything done by them was calculated. This confrontation had been a distraction.

Damn it, why had be let himself be lured so far away from Geralt?

Jaskier bolted through the bushes, almost stumbling over his own feet in his haste to get to Geralt in time.

But time passes so inconveniently fast. Too fast.

“We have to go!,” he yelled, even before he could see his love. He wanted to call out for him, call his name, but if there was even a slim chance that a Fae could hear him speak the name of his beloved, it would be disastrous. “We have to leave, now!”

When Jaskier arrived at the clearing, panting and covered in scratches, he was too late.

Geralt was surrounded by three Fae. They looked different than Jaskier had ever seen them before, more feral, emanating a dark aura and wielding undeniable power. Geralt stood no chance.

He fought valiantly, slashed at them with his sword, but not even a witcher could overpower three Fae.

“No, wait!” Jaskier cried, trying to pull one of the Fae away. They snarled at him, but hesitated.

“What are you doing here?” they hissed, eyes hard and unforgiving. “He killed one of our own.”

He swallowed, shaking under their gaze. “I know. I know, but it won’t happen again. I promise.”

He looked over his shoulder at Geralt, pleading him with his eyes to relent.

He didn’t. Instead he grabbed Jaskier by the back of his shirt and yanked him back, until Geralt was standing in front of him, shielding him with his body from the Fae that were his family.

“Don’t!” His shout went unheard, as Geralt bolted forward, determined not to let any harm come to Jaskier, while the Fae attacked him, determined to avenge their fallen.

One Fae cried out as they were slashed across the chest. Geralt was thrown to the ground, claw marks and magical burns adding to the painting of his scars.

Unimaginable fear seized Jaskier as one of the Fae touched the ground, singing a haunting melody Jaskier knew all too well. Too often had he sung it himself, summoning mushrooms that sprouted in a circle and took him back to the Feywilds.

There was only one thought in his mind. He couldn’t let them take Geralt. If the Fae were terrible and powerful enough here to hurt Geralt, there was no telling what they would do to him in their own realm.

There was no time to think of the consequences. He screamed the first name that came to mind, the name of the Fae who had told him to choose. Now he made his choice.

He called their name and made a deal.

“Take me instead of him!” He prayed with all his being that the Fae would bite. Just a simple yes would be all it took and Geralt would be safe. He repeated the name, almost begging “I am trading my life for his.”

“Jaskier, no!”

It was too late. Jaskier felt the burn in his chest, binding him to his word as his deal was accepted.  

Geralt’s horror-filled expression and his outstretched hand as he tried to reach Jaskier was the last thing Jaskier saw, before he was swallowed by the mist.

** Geralt lunged forward, Jaskier’s name on his lips, but he was too late. His hand grasped into nothingness, where Jaskier had been but a moment before.

Gerlalt fell to his knees, looking frantically around for something, for anything that could bring him Jaskier back. It was in vain. Any trace of Jaskier and the Fae had disappeared and had left Geralt with nothing but the terror of not knowing what would happen to Jaskier, what punishment he would receive in Geralt’s stead.

He dragged himself to the fairy-ring, hoping against hope that the Fae magic still lingered and would be enough to take him to wherever Jaskier had been dragged to.

Nothing happened.

For hours Geralt searched for something to bring him Jaskier back until he finally collapsed to the ground. His hair that had gradually been freed from his tie fell into his face, obscuring his blank expression, as the dread finally overtook him. There was nothing he can do.

His hand balled into a fist on his tight. He might not be able to do anything on his own to help Jaskier, but the last thing he could do was give up on him.

The fleeting thought manifested into iron determination.

Jaskier wouldn’t want him to do this. He would tell him he was foolish and a hypocrite and he would be right. But Jaskier wasn’t here to tell him those things.

Without looking up, he whispered the name of the Fae Jaskier had called on before. The gods knew where Jaskier had learned the name. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that stubborn little hope inside of Geralt that refused to be crushed.

The name was but a whisper on Geralt’s lips.

“I want to make a bargain, Valdo.”

“How very curious.” The owner of the voice leaned against a tree, their wings lazily hanging down and he was looking at Geralt with unconcealed mockery. “Now what deal would that be?”

The Fae sauntered closer, pointedly relaxed and taking their time, knowing that as long as Geralt needed them, they had the upper hand.

Geralt gritted his teeth as Valdo crouched down in front of him, and brushed Geralt’s hair out of his face to get a better view of the determination in his eyes. Geralt repressed the instinct to push the hand away. He would do anything to ensure Jaskier’s return and if that meant being observed like a shiny new toy for the Fae and be submissive then that’s what he would do.

“Humour me,” the Fae said, finally letting go of his hair and straightening back up, towering over Geralt. “What could bring a witcher to his knees, begging a Fae for a deal.”

“Jaskier could. I need him back. Cancel the deal you made with him, please, bring him back.”

What if the Fae wouldn’t? What if they left him, told him that this was what he deserved? That he had slain one of their kind and Jaskier would be the one to pay the price for it.

Valdo tilted their head to the side, contemplating. Every second that passed weighed on Geralt’s chest.

“You have killed someone who was important to me,” the Fae finally said and Geralt tensed. This was it. He had wasted his last chance to get him back. “But oh, I do so love a good deal.”

Geralt’s heart skipped a beat.

“You will bring him back?”

Valdo nodded. “If only because I relish in imagining the look in his eyes when you finally figure it out.”

Geralt’s brows drew together. “Figure what out? What game are you playing?”

The Fae laughed and waved a hand through the air dismissively. “Now where would be the fun in me telling you? You need to find out for yourself and make sure to take a good look at our dear Jaskier when you do.”

“Stop these games. Just bring him back,” Geralt growled. He had no way of knowing how much time had passed in the Fae world. Every heartbeat he spent listening to the Fae could be an eternity in which Jaskier got tortured.

“Fine. But my help is not for free. You asked me to make a bargain, here is what I offer: I will bring him back to you, but you will owe me a favour. I will let you know when I have decided to collect it.”

It went against everything Vesemir had ever taught him, but he clenched his jaw and bit out the word. “Deal.”

For a brief moment Geralt wondered whether he had made the right decision, when he saw Valdo’s face split with a smirk and an otherworldly heat branded his chest.

His doubts were pushed far from his mind, when a fog began to rise, just as it had only hours before and the silhouette of a man slowly manifested in it.

Geralt’s scrambled to his feet, as Jaskier tumbled out of the mist. He sprang forward, barely catching him and carefully guiding him to the ground in his arms. He could feel the frail body tremble and the hands desperately clutching at his shirt. Broken sobs wrecked Jaskier as he buried his face in Geralt’s chest, accompanied by the same words over and over.

“You’re alive. You’re safe.”

“Yes, Jaskier, yes I’m safe. You protected me.” He buries his nose in Jaskier’s hair and tightened the embrace, needing to feel Jaskier, needing to know that he wouldn’t disappear into the realm of shadows again.

The sun had long set and the sounds of the forest had turned hushed and secretive, when they finally loosened their embrace, still holding their hands, never breaking contact.

Geralt’s eyes roamed over Jaskier’s body, scanning him for any injuries as he should have done before. He realised a shaky breath when he found none, but then his gaze reached Jaskier’s eyes.

Haunted eyes with a broken look and an eternity of misery in them. Whatever Jaskier had endured in the Fae’s realm it had left him in shatters, even though his skin remained unbroken.

Geralt let go of one of Jaskier’s hands and lifted his own to caress his cheek.

“Don’t worry, Jaskier, I got you. I won’t let anything happen to you again. Do you understand me?”

Jaskier nodded, fainty and pressed his cheek into Geralt’s palm.

As he did so, the echo of a laughter rang through the forest that held no joy but the promise of regret. Valdo’s laugh.

Every muscle in Jaskier’s body tensed. In all the years Geralt had known him, he had never looked more terrified than he did now.

Jaskier’s voice carried all the horror of the world.

“What have you done?”

[sepublic]

You think Warden Wrath’s crush on Eda pushed him to tell Luz where she was held?

The more we see of Warden Wrath’s intelligence, the more I’m convinced that he’s Belos’ abomination

-

           Combining both of these asks for convenience and answering the one about Abomination Wrath first, but;

           …I can’t say for sure? A part of me wants to say that Wrath has prioritized his personal interests over Belos’ far too many times and without hesitation… But at the same time, this could just be a ‘curse of free will’ situation where making Wrath so advanced naturally leads to him having his own personality, and thus his own personal desires that he places above Belos’ orders.

           It’s worth noting that the Emperor’s Guards all have blue eyes VERY similar to Belos’… Assuming Belos can’t create witches, it’s not out of the question for him to make fully-breathing, living homunculi to function as his lesser grunts and generic soldiers. We see that Belos’ constructs, including the Intro Worm, aren’t exactly made of mud like most Abominations but seem to have actual organs and whatnot, which would coincide with Wrath seemingly being organic for the most part. On the other hand, Braxas exists and HE looks a lot like Wrath, though I suppose that Belos basing a creation of his off of pre-existing beings, or worse, repurposing body parts from them isn’t out of the question…

           (I have to wonder if Belos had simply… taken the eyes of a poor Emperor’s Guard to replace his own malfunctioning, deteriorating pair.)

           We DO see an Emperor’s Guard cheering when Eda escapes petrification, implying that these guys are capable of also unlearning some toxic mentalities, which could point towards them not being Belos’ creations… Honestly, I can’t say for sure! For now the assumption is that Wrath and the Emperor’s Guards were their own beings, possibly modified to be more conforming like the EC witches (which I’ve also speculated about), but otherwise… I can only consider the possibilities!

           As for Wrath and any feelings for Eda…

           …Probably not. He very quickly changes his tune on Eda once she does a raspberry in his face and goes for murder, not to mention Eda’s dialogue heavily implies that the first episode was also their first actual, proper, face-to-face interaction. It’s pretty clear that Wrath only saw Eda as ‘alluring’ because she was a challenge, a ‘trophy’ for him to conquer and earn, which is GROSS. Not to mention, Belos is overseeing this petrification and is making a big deal of this as a personal order from him…

          And given all of the statues around the Conformatorium, as well as those three recently-petrified witches, Wrath has likely seen a few petrifications up-close and knows EXACTLY what Belos does to those who don’t ‘fit in’. Not to mention, how Belos threatens those who show loyalty to anyone that isn’t the Emperor… It’s Wrath’s life VS anyone else’s, hence why he caves in to Luz’s threats because he doesn’t want to legitimately riskhimself if he isn’t certain of victory. It’s best to be on the Emperor’s good side, in Wrath’s opinion.

           With how the dude puts himself up as big and intimidating, only to immediately cower when things go wrong… Honestly, Wrath gives me the vibes as basically an entitled, spoiled brat from childhood who never had to question things. Like, he was just a natural bully since the beginning, with Wrath having particular IDEAS about how people should function… It seems that Wrath was never taught to handle differences in others at all. Combined with the severity of his punishments for simple things like fanfiction, and…

           It seems like Wrath is someone who like Boscha, doesn’t realize you can dislike a person, but then otherwise just let them exist; It’s a very black-and-white mentality of, “If I dislike this person then I do THIS, if I like this person I do THAT,” there’s no in-between. I can see him having been a kid who would’ve bullied others over things that seemed gross, and without anyone to tell him to stop (and possibly with enabling by the system), Wrath just kept pushing his boundaries, going from hating someone to not wanting to be his friend… To hating them for a one-time incident…

           And without anyone to tell Wrath to stop, he’s defaulted to a childish mentality where if this person makes me uncomfortable, OBVIOUSLY they’re bad and all bad people should be lumped into the same category that is the Conformatorium! He’s never had someone really tell him no, at least nobody meaningful to Wrath and at an important stage in development… So when he IS told no, he reacts very negatively.

          Wrath is probably someone who never had to question his way of thinking whatsoever, but it also means he hasn’t really matured, hence his childish screams and quickness to cave in when Luz, a human, overwhelms him. He’s very much someone who dishes out a lot of damage onto others, but can’t take a hit to save his life; Which all suggests a lot of comfort and privilege that Wrath was raised upon.

          Warden Wrath is basically an overgrown manchild who never really learned to deal with his emotions in a constructive manner, always defaulting to ‘this person who makes me feel bad IS bad and should be hurt!’ and probably had a lot of adults who encouraged and enabled this behavior. He has zero self-reflection and doesn’t really consider people as, well, peoplewith their own lives and such, and Wrath feels entitled to being prioritized, which also means he prioritizes what he wants.

          But when faced with an unexpected situation that challenges his beliefs that he can’t immediately steamroll over effortlessly, Wrath caves in at even the idea of being genuinely hurt for once as retribution for his actions. When Eda defies him, Wrath defaults back to his old ways of thinking, but when Luz does and shatters Wrath’s preconceptions of him as naturally being far stronger than this puny human, he immediately falls apart.

          Wrath at least expected Eda to be strong, it was part of the ‘allure’ to him, but when faced with something that challenges his worldview, Wrath quickly falls apart at the seams and gives into panic, which just goes to show that he’s always someone who’s operated on a position of comfort, taking his power for granted.

          It’s worth noting that as a Warden, Wrath himself probably isn’t hunting people down personally, but merely enforcing his strength upon those who have already been defeated, imprisoned, and stripped of various tools that could help them; That when he beats down on others, he already has an Emperor’s Guard or two holding their arms down so they can’t fight back!

          Obviously Wrath isn’t a total pushover either in terms of strength and likely quelled a few uprisings here or there… But in the end, he doesn’t handle actual adversity well, which hinders Wrath as he definitely has the body-type to take on most challenges. He could easily just suck it up and take the damage, but Wrath is too much of a brat to do that.

         ...I’m not saying Wrath is exactly the kind of person who taunts people and makes fun of them for getting so ‘sensitive’, but when HE is emotionally hurt, he very quickly starts yelling angrily with snot and tears dribbling down his face. But that’s EXACTLY what I’m saying he is.

[militant-holy-knight]

Kingdom of Heaven Review: Secular Agnostic Humanist Crusader Edition

Whenever the topic of Ridley Scott’s 2005 movie Kingdom of Heaven comes up, it invariably brings up how it’s one of his most mediocre movies and that “the Director’s Cut is better”. This makes sense since the movie actually had a very mixed reception when it was first released on theaters, as critics lambasted the cliched plot and characters and overall being all style and no substance. As it turns out, several changes were made behind the scenes by executives who felt the movie ran too long and cut scenes they felt were appropriate, but actually improved the story.

I’ve heard so many people praising the Director’s Cut to the point they even said it was an “whole different movie”, which was very confusing to me, and made me wonder if they actually saw it and aren’t parroting someone else. Now don’t get me wrong: it’s true that the Director’s Cut is the superior version to the theatrical one and does fix issues like character motivations and actions, it doesn’t even come close to fixing the foundation which it was built on: an extremely politically-biased and revisionist distortion, product of someone molded by their own time period than anything else. 

The characters have anachronistic attitudes that are out of place specially at the heart of an holy war. The sympathetic characters - whether Christians or Muslims - can be identified as secular humanists that express religious tolerance and would rather live and let live, whereas antagonistic characters are characterized by their religious fanaticism. Baldwin IV and Saladin would rather live in peace with each other, but are beleaguered by the circumstances of their followers who clamor for war. This portrayal couldn’t be more absurd and further from the truth because the “peace” between the Kingdom of Jerusalem and the Ayyubi Caliphate was not meant to last forever, but more until both sides regrouped and rearmed to resume hostilities like an armistice, not to mention the fact both monarchs were extremely pious in their faiths (Catholicism and Sunni Islam, respectively) and considered themselves their staunch defenders. 

This is no accident. Ridley Scott is an agnostic and has admitted at multiple occasions that he used it as an opportunity to criticize religion. Perhaps the most illustrative moment where this attitude sweeps in is during the climax when Jerusalem is eventually besieged and Balian delivers an speech to the army that boils down to “Jerusalem belongs to everyone”, which simply wouldn’t fly with the Christians at the time. Consider in that era where even people of their own faiths struggled among each other (The Kingdom of Jerusalem was Latin Catholic and other Christians like Orthodox, Armenians and Copts were often regarded as schismatics, while Sunnis and Shias were at war with each other like they always do), can you imagine if someone actually said that in regards to other religions?!?

A particularly inconvenient aspect of the movie that is clear for everyone who sees it is that only the Christian side is the only one truly hit with the fanaticism issue, whereas Muslims comes off as cleaner. When you really come down to it, the crusader side is filled with more despicable villains who are named, whereas the Muslim side has one token nameless mullah who is an asshole to Saladin, threatening him that if he doesn’t give them Jerusalem, they will kill him and find someone who can - that is about the extent of his villainy. There is also a Saracen rider that wants to duel Balian at one point, but he is just some random threat thrown in, and it’s later revealed he was an slave masquerading as someone else. 

Now compare this with Balian’s asshole priest brother who steals his wife’s crucifix, the slimy Patriarch of Jerusalem, and Guy of Gisborne and Raynald of Chatillon, both of whom are generic warmongers that just want to kill infidels for no reason, the former kills an emissary which constitutes as an offense worthy of Genghis Khan’s wrath while the latter rapes and kills Saladin’s sister. What makes this worse is that none of these are true: The Patriarch actually helped ransom people during the Siege of Jerusalem, Guy wasn’t particularly better or worse than his contemporaries and if anything, he was regarded as an weakling rather than a bloodthirsty thug, whereas Raynald never even attacked Saladin’s sister (according to Arab sources) and while he was still a very violent man, it was the result of being held 16 years in a prison under Muslims in Aleppo and in the end, he died like a Christian martyr to jihadist terrorism - being told by Saladin to convert to Islam or die, which he picked the latter. 

You can tell when certain fedoralords say they hate religion actually hate Christianity only, and this is the tone that oozes from this movie. No wonder a historian once called this movie “al-Qaeda’s version of the story” because Christians commit horrible atrocities against innocent Muslims hence Muslim aggression by Saladin is justified. If anything Bin Laden likely envisioned himself as an modern-day Saladin, hoping to unite the Muslim world against the “Eternal Crusader”. The lionizing of Saladin is laughable given the fact that until recent memory he was an obscure figure on account of being Kurdish, but was co-opted by Arab Muslims as their hero. I wonder how would audiences feel that Saladin had half Jerusalem’s population enslaved which is something he actually did in real life instead of letting them go like in the movie.....

There are also other problems with the movie besides religion that even the Director’s Cut couldn’t fix like Balian’s character. I already went over how he is representative of the movies’s secular humanist themes, but there is a lot more wrong with him beyond that. Simply put, he is the most vanilla flavor protagonist, devoid of charisma or flaws, and comes across as a Marty Stu when you think about it: a nobody who is revealed to be the bastard son of some crusader baron that just so happens to be influential enough with Jerusalem’s nobility that everyone good immediately befriends him. He has a tragic backstory that makes him an atheist, but is perfect and devoid of any flaws and is written in such way that serves as a surrogate for the audience. By contrast, his historical counterpart was a knight born and raised in Jerusalem who was actually devout and politically shrewd, which comes across as more interesting and Arab Muslims agreed since they wrote “he was like a king”. But nope. Can’t have that because Balian is actually Scott’s self-insert by his own admission and we can’t have a guy like real-life Balian because modern audiences can’t identify with him.

Scott seriously misunderstood the Knight Templars. Naturally like our lead villains they are also genocidal maniacs, but also appear to be a secular noble/warrior class of some kind since Guy and Raynald are affiliated with them (they weren’t in real life), and it’s a plot point that Guy is engaged with Baldwin’s sister Princess Sybilla. Templars made vows of chastity and poverty, schewing all property and titles so it makes no sense for either of them being part of the order, much less for a Templar to become king. (Afonso Henriques of Portugal was at least a former Templar).

And then there are the geo-politics... Even though Scott denied that the movie was an metaphor, it certainly comes across this way with characters talking about how much wealth they made from the campaigns as if this was the American intervention in the Middle-East for oil. Jerusalem had no resources, no real treasures except maybe the True Cross which had great emotional value for the Christians and in fact, it was the other way around: it was far more expensive, having to secure resources, armor and weaponry to join the crusade with the likely risk of death with no returning home with the only comfort being remission of sins in case of falling in battle.

The Crusades were precipitated by Muslim aggression in the first place, namely the Seljuk Turks who crushed the Byzantine Empire in the Battle of Mazinkert and began persecuting Christian pilgrims in the Holy Land, not to mention the subhuman conditions that Eastern Christians found themselves as dhimmis under Islamic rule. When framed this manner, the wrath of Latin Catholics hearing the atrocities carried out by the Turks is quite justified. Could Scott himself say this is justified compared to how much Muslim caravans were attacked by Templars on his movie?

So to sum things up: we have liberal political bias that portrays one side as the assholes while the others justified in retaliating, a perfect protagonist that is clearly a self-insert, generic villains that are evil for no reason other than being Christian, historical inaccuracies, white-washing certain figures while removing all nuance and depth from others, honestly embarrassing analogies with modern topics that stick out like a sore thumb. And in the end, for you to walk away with not much. I am sorry but even the Director’s Edition didn’t make things significantly better because the movie’s issues lies at their conceptual form: Balian is still a Marty Stu, the Christians are largely one-dimensional evil, the Muslims are honorable and enlightened, etc. You can’t make a story engaging when the setting is revolving around religious conflict and the leads are all secularists, or else it shows how much “smarter than thou” attitude you have.

I’ve heard about how Scott got into a spat with the British historian community who made very clear how his movie was bollocks. A common defense on his behalf is that he isn’t obligated to tell history like how it was and he made the movie he felt best, which is honestly just baffling because it’s very insulting towards the audience. I am not saying that the audience should be challenged (at least not in a Rian Johnson way), but imagine if Raynald’s captivity was brought up and his death was portrayed in redemptive fashion after all his atrocities, imagine Saladin preaching jihad against the crusaders, imagine Balian breaking his oath, etc. Now that would have made an more memorable movie instead of the one who is remembered for his slightly better version released separately. Certainly history had a better story to tell than Ridley Scott.

Like what Amin Maalouf, author of “The Crusades through Arab Eyes” once said.

It does not do any good to distort history, even if you believe you are distorting it in a good way. Cruelty was not on one side but on all.

[padme4000writes]

Fictober 5 "I might just kiss you."

Pairing: Morgana x GN!Reader

Fandom: BBC Merlin (based in season 1, vague mention of Morgana’s future)

Wordcount: 1,278

Warnings: small fight. threats

Rating: T

Summary: You are Merlin's cousin, also a magic user with a little twist. Except you're a little less of a risk taker unless the situation absolutely calls for it. The lady Morgana went out on a ride with Arthur and his men. When someone kidnaps Morgana you find that you would risk your neck for her.

Also used a quote I always found cute from Pirates of the Carribean. 

You had only recently moved to Camelot, but the people there had been welcoming. In fact you felt at home already. Guinevere was one of the most welcoming, surprised when you offered to help her. Denying your help but grateful for the offer.

"You don't shy from work."

You shake your head, "No I do not. Nor do I complain like a certain cousin of mine." You send a wink knowing very well said cousin was in earshot.

"You'd complain too if you had to do some of the things Arthur makes me do."

And he fell for it. You turn to him, arms crossed over your chest. "Really, cousin? Do you not think that Guinevere does not get requests she'd rather not do?"

He pales a tad, "Well, yes but…"

You raise a hand stopping his sentence right there, "No buts Merlin. I do believe you get some odd jobs, but to complain in the presence of others who do similar and same jobs as you. Honestly, what would your mother say?"

He was about to react and while your words ran some truths he finally caught onto your game. Pointing a finger at you, "Haha very funny cousin." He then promptly left, muttering that he needed to tend to Arthur's armour.

"I don't think he got the hidden message, do you?" You turn to smile at Guinevere just to stop short mesmerised by the Lady behind her. The Lady Morgana.

"Are you teasing your cousin once more?" She had such a dazzling smile that it often took you a second or two to respond.

You bowed your head to her, the only formality she'd allow when not in front of other nobles. "Yes milady, but only because it is so easy. Easier than it use to be in fact." The fact being that Arthur wound him enough that it was much easier to tease him.

Neither of you seemed to notice when Guinevere ducked out, "How many times must I ask you to call me Morgana?"

It wasn't proper. Both of you knew that yet you nodded. You wasn't as much as a risk taker as Merlin. So calling the Kings ward by her name? Yeah that was a risk. A risk you wasn't willing to yet to take. She was a good friend but you were starting to care for her more than a friend.

"At least once more, milady, as always."

Her smile dropped and she left you standing there. “At least once more, Morgana.” It was only when she was away did you truly allow yourself to call her by her name. If you were on your own that is, there was no other with such a beautiful name as hers in Camelot. It would not take a fool to work out who you meant.

So the next few days you went around helping others as normal, making some money here and there. Somehow avoiding Morgana or maybe she was avoiding you, in which case you were avoiding each other.

You were sat on the steps when alarms started going off, with shouts. “The lady Morgana has been taken!”

Your whole soul reacted to the shout, your eyes flashing a vibrant gold. If Merlin was here, he’d be reprimanding you for showing your magic. But right now you didn’t care. All you cared about was getting Morgana home. So you dashed to your living quarters, grabbed the one thing she gave you and left Camelot. 

Before running into her and her would be taker, you ran into Merlin. For which you was lucky, had you come a moment before. Arthur Pendragon would have spotted your eyes, and the teeth that were protruding from your mouth. “Cousin.” He hissed and hid you behind some trees, you could see the question of why in his eyes until he realised himself why.

“You’re going to get yourself killed.”

“For her I’d do anything, Merlin. Anything.” You stressed the last word, his eyes darting to the handkerchief in your pocket. 

“You’re tracking her.” A statement not a question. He knew what you were. Had since the very beginning. See his magic came from his father’s line. Yours came from your fathers as well. You had natural earthly magic, but the main source of your power was your ability to partly or fully shift into a wolf. Which was much harder to control during the days before, during and after the full moon.

Morgana was your shield, the thought of her controlled those animal urges during the cycle of the full moon. So when word of her being taken reached you, it had not only driven your own protective instincts but the instincts of the animal within. 

Your voice dropped to a growl, “When I find her, the one who took her should be very afraid.” Before Merlin could warn you not to draw attention to yourself you were off. Barely avoiding the patrol looking for Morgana in your own haste to find her.

Minutes turned into an hour, and you were just beginning to question your tracking skills when you heard her. “I demand you let me go this instant, the king will hear of this.”

“That’s what we’re planning, love. He’d pay a good deal for you I think.”

Both were startled when they heard an animalistic growl. “Go anywhere near her, and I will kill you with my bare hands.” You didn’t mean this, because that was rather gruesome but it was something that scared people. Rightly so. You were furious, wrathful but you had never killed and if you could avoid ever doing so you’d prefer it. 

As the skies had grown darker, your eyes were easy to spot. And so the man who had taken Morgana jumped away but not without brandishing his sword. But in his moment of distraction the Lady Morgana caught him by surprise. With a swing of a rather thick branch the man fell to the floor. With a thud.

“Who are you?” Her voice was shaky, something you never wanted to hear. But mostly because that fear causing that shake was directed at you.

“I’m your protector milady, always will be.” You were about to leave just far enough away that you could hear her, as you heard what sounded like Merlin coming closer.

But her voice stopped you, “You’re…” Her pause made you wince. But her footsteps coming closer made you curious. “Turn around.” You did. You could never deny her anything when truly on your own. Except her name, that was most precious indeed. Her hands reached for your face, tracing the changes there. Then she gazed in your eyes, “You truly mean that, don’t you?”

“Aye.”

She smiled but then must have heard the others coming closer. Her eyes darted to you in worry, “You have to leave, you’ll get caught.”

Your eyes dart to the man behind her, “He’ll tell them, I’m already caught. May as well get caught protecting you.” It was your turn for your hands to raise to her face.

Her eyes widened ever so slightly, “I will say the man was delusional.”

Your answering smile was mesmerising, “I might just kiss you, milady… Morgana.”

“Then kiss me.” 

And so before you left so no other could find out who you are, you tilted her head ever so slightly and brushed your lips against hers. Whispering in her ear, “Even if nothing comes of this, Morgana. I am forever yours.”

With those words you left, and with those words and your actions you left an impression on Morgana’s soul and maybe her future didn’t look so dark with you in it.