#rip to my past high school social life

[storiesandfolklore]

My Nigerian Dad would/could never...

[inkedbydesire]

Can’t Let Go (Pt 1)

Jimmy Uso x Black Fem Reader

A/N: This is inspired by an Adele song called “Can’t Let Go.” Please give it a listen if you’ve never heard it. It will enhance your reading experience (I hope 😂).

Warnings: None.

Summary: You thought you would never hear from him again. And truthfully, even that was too soon. They say that time heals all wounds. So with time, you convinced yourself that closure wasn’t necessary, that you didn’t need to understand why he ripped your heart to shreds. Somewhere along the way you even managed to persuade yourself that you were completely over the whole ordeal and completely over him. But after a full year of silence, a single letter arrives, threatening to undo everything you fought so hard to move past.

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: Jimmy is kinda sorta my muse right now. So here’s another one *Dj Khaled voice.* I apologize in advanced for any grammatical errors or typos I may have missed during my proofreading.

*************************************************

"Jonathan fucking Fatu." 

You muttered the words to yourself, then took yet another sip from your wine glass. Well, honestly, it was more of a gulp. You practically downed the whole thing. And this wasn't even your first or second glass. Normally, you never drank this much in a day, but tonight seemed like a special occasion. After a grueling shift in the ER, you'd expected to come home to a warm bath, a good meal, and reruns of Bob's Burgers. Not a letter from your ex-boyfriend, Jonathan, who you hadn't heard from in over a year.

When you stopped by your parent's house after work because your mom said she had something for you, the last thing you expected was a letter from Jonathan. No wonder she'd sounded so strange on the phone. No communication had passed between you and Jonathan for so long that he had no choice but to send the letter to the last address he remembered, your parent's house. He knew nothing about your apartment. He knew nothing about your life anymore. And why would he? He wasn't a part of it.

"I'm not doing this." You muttered aloud as you stood up, holding your wine glass in one hand and the letter in the other. You slowly walked into the kitchen and hovered over the trash can, you held the letter there for a moment before you dropped it in. Then, you turned off the light and returned to the living room, sinking back onto the couch. You tried to focus on anything else other than that damn letter but no more than five minutes later, you were back in the kitchen, digging through the trash.

This time, you didn't waste a second before heading back to the couch with the letter clutched between your fingers. You decided to leave the wine alone telling yourself that there was no need to add a hangover to your list of problems tomorrow. Shifting your attention to the letter you finally opened the envelope and unfolded the pages. As your eyes skimmed over Jonathan's neat handwriting, memories that you'd worked so hard to suppress rushed at you all at once as if you'd just been blindsided by a semi-truck.

High school. Sophomore year. That was when you first met him. Your parents had uprooted your whole life and moved you to Florida when your dad got a better job offer. You'd been terrified, forced to leave behind everything and everyone you knew. You were social, but not enough to feel okay with walking into a new school where everyone already had their friends. You had no idea how to approach anyone. You knew if you didn't find a way to fit in, you'd spend the next few years alone.

Before you could muster the courage to talk to anyone on your first day, Jonathan was the first student to speak to you.

"You must be new" he said to you casually as you stood in the hallway staring down at your schedule. The guidance counselor had only shown you to your first class and then left you to fend for yourself. This school was far bigger than your old one so on your way to second period you got a little lost.

"It's that obvious huh?" you responded back to the stranger then looked over at him and smiled. He returned it, warm and friendly.

"Lemme see" he said as he reached for your schedule and you allowed him to have it happy to have someone who seemed like they wanted to help. 100s of other students had brushed past you so far and he had been the only one to stop.

"Oh, we got the same second period. Follow me. I got you." He told you as he handed you back your schedule and you thanked him as you folded it and slid it in your back pocket.

"What's your name?" He asked as you fell into step beside him.

"Y/N" you responded as he zigzagged you through the hallways. Quickly you picked up on the fact that Jonathan was pretty popular. On every hallway that you followed him down some dude was dapping him up or some girl was saying hey. And for some reason, he kept taking it upon himself to introduce you to every single person you two encountered. He kept telling people "This the new girl Y/N."

Like it was his duty or something.

You were a little embarrassed that he kept making you the center of attention but if you were going to meet anyone other than him it had to be that way. And you guessed he figured that. You think he just wanted you to feel included. And you did. During your lunch period, you spotted someone who looked like Jonathan so you went over to thank him for helping you again, only to discover you were talking to his twin brother Joshua. That's how you ended up meeting both of them on your very first day.

Jonathan talked to you every day after that. Over time you managed to find your place in a good group of friends when you joined the cheerleading team. This caused you and Jonathan to grow even closer because you spent more time around him due to him and his brother being football players. By Junior year you two were dating and experiencing a lot of firsts together. You were high school sweethearts for two years but mutually broke up after graduation when you saw that life was taking you in two completely different directions. It wasn't a sad or bitter breakup because you both understood and respected each other's futures. You just wanted to see each other win. And you knew that no matter what you would always keep in touch.

Jonathan went to college for a little bit before moving away with Joshua to pursue wrestling which was a part of their family legacy. You stayed in Florida went to college and worked tirelessly to follow your dream of becoming a nurse. You and Jonathan barely ever saw each other anymore.  Years passed. But still, you kept in contact here and there.

Jonathan and Joshua got signed to the WWE. You remember him being so excited on the phone when he called and told you about it. You became a nurse and started working at the hospital of your dreams. And crazy enough you even almost got married. You were engaged to a Doctor that you met at one of the hospitals you interviewed at before finding your perfect fit. He seemed like a amazing person on the surface but you later found out that it was all just a hoax. 1 week before your wedding you found out that he had fathered an outside child and had basically been unfaithful throughout your whole relationship. That was a horrible time for you but you managed to get through it. And although Jonathan couldn't be there for you physically you could always count on him to send you some encouraging words every other day.

When it seemed that you and Jonathan had finally solidified yourselves in your careers that's when you two reconnected on a deeper level. It started with texting each other as much as your work schedules and sleeping arrangements would allow. Then to falling asleep on Facetime with each other every night. Then to catching flights to see each other. He came to see you. You went to see him. And then on one of your trips, he just didn't want you to leave. So you decided to say goodbye to Florida and moved to the state that Jonathan was calling home. You found a hospital to work at and easily settled into life with him. For 3 years you and him had a relationship that you had convinced yourself you could only read about. You thought Jonathan was your forever and you found solace in thinking you would never know heartbreak again. 

But then it happened. 

It started like any other day. It was your off day so you were going to run a few errands and spend the rest of the day relaxing. Jonathan was on the road as usual living the hectic life of a wrestler so you were going to spend some time missing him too. But that was basically it. There were no warning signs. No strange feeling in the pit of your stomach. Nothing. You went through the day totally oblivious to the fact that your whole world was about to collapse.

Later on that night out of the blue your notifications started going insane. Jonathan had posted you on his Instagram here and there over the years so people knew who you were through him. Due to that, his fans started interacting with you. So you assumed that's what it was. That they were just tagging you in random things like normal. But you saw that everybody kept sending you the same link to a TMZ article. You ignored it until your best friend sent it to you with a message that read "Have you seen this? Are you okay?"

Nothing could've prepared you for what you saw. The headline was still engraved in your memory.

"Jimmy Uso exposed for stepping out on his now girlfriend Y/N: Woman reveals picture and text proof."

Your phone moved from side to side in your shaky hands as you read the article. Your heart pounded and your stomach turned as you read the claims of a woman who said she had been with Jonathan intimately a month ago. There were text messages and you knew for certain that it was his number. He had the same number since high school. But if that wasn't the nail in the coffin she also had a picture of him in her bed. Tears began to blur your vision as you read away every ounce of trust and security you ever had in Jonathan and your relationship.

Barely being able to process what was happening you moved in a zombie-like state as you located your laptop. Your brain was on autopilot as you booked a flight back to Florida for 6 am the next morning. You knew that you had to be out of that house before Jonathan came back. You were sure he knew the news by now. He had to. And you didn't know if he would drop everything and try to rush back. You didn't want to see his face. You didn't want to hear him try to explain himself. There was nothing that he could tell you. Life as you both knew was just completely over now.

And he only had himself to thank for that.

You packed what you could fit into your two suitcases and decided you would leave everything else behind. You had 3 years of stuff here but none of that mattered. With your heart feeling like somebody just snatched it out of your chest with a butcher's knife ..... nothing mattered. Shutting your phone off to silence the noise of the constant calls and texts you were receiving, you then climbed into the bed that you and Jonathan shared and cried your eyes out until sleep somehow found you. You woke up the next morning in time enough to take a shower, cry in it, and then leave Jonathan a note. You tore a piece of paper from a notebook and wrote,

Dear Jonathan, I hope it was worth it. Bye.

You left it on the coffee table in the living room before running out to catch your Lyft to the airport. Later that evening when you arrived in Florida you took a taxi to your parent's house. You knew your mom had already heard the news by the way she greeted you when you rang the doorbell. She just allowed you to fall into her arms and she held you as tight as she could. You were mentally and physically drained as you climbed the stairs and went to your childhood bedroom. You went to the bathroom that was connected to it and caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You looked exactly like what you were going through. Your eyes were swollen from all of the nonstop crying and somehow your brown skin looked pale. After taking off the hoodie you had on and stripping down to your panties you went back to your bedroom and got into the bed. When you were under the covers you decided to turn your phone back on for the first time in over 12 hours. You had what seemed like 100s of text messages, missed calls, and voicemail messages from Jonathan.

You opened one of the voicemail messages, your heart breaking all over again as you heard the desperation in his voice.

............. "Baby, where did you go? I swear that shit didn't mean nothing. I ... I fucked up. I really fucked up. And I regretted that shit instantly. I wanted to tell you about it. I just didn't want what's happening now to happen. I didn't want to lose you Y/N. Please say something to me." .......

Well there it was, he admitted to it. So any stupid hope of this somehow not being your reality was lost. You shut your phone back down ignoring him again as tears streamed down the side of your face. Somehow through all of the pain you felt in your chest sleep still found you. You woke up later that night with more voicemail messages from Jonathan.

............ "Look Y/N I'm going out of my fucking mind. Just let me know where you at. I need to know that you alright." .........

............. "Curse me out. Do something. I can't take this silent shit."...........

.............. "I don't know if you even listening to these but I love you Y/N. I know you might not believe or wanna hear that right now but I love you."

You ended up blocking his number. But things didn't end there. You still had a long road ahead of you. He blew you up on every single social media app which you eventually had to delete. What Jonathan did to you was very public and people were talking about it. And you needed to ignore the world and him if you were ever going to get back to you.

As time went on you started to function like a normal human being again. You didn't end up sitting on the shower floor every time you took one and you started to eat more than once a day again. But it seemed like every time you tried to make a step to move on Jonathan would contact you and set you back. When he couldn't reach you on social media anymore he started sending emails. You blocked him there too. Then he put two and two together and figured you were at your parent's house and started abusing their phone lines as well. When his number was blocked yet again he even resorted to catching a flight and randomly showing up to their house. Rightfully so your father refused to let him in and sent him on his way.

Jonathan had turned your whole world upside down but you still communicated with his family through all of it. His mom and Dad checked on you. But you mainly talked to Joshua the most because you two had a friendship outside of him. Joshua genuinely wanted to know about your well-being, so you responded to him often while still being radio silent when it came to his brother. When Jonathan caught wind that you were still talking to Joshua he tried reaching out to you through him. You told Joshua not to allow him to do that or you would also have to cut ties with him. You didn't want to do that because Joshua hadn't done anything to you but you seriously wanted absolutely nothing to do with Jonathan. You didn't need his explanation. His apologies only infuriated you. You didn't need anything from him.

He tried to get you to communicate with him for almost a year but you never took any of the bait. Time passed and Jonathan's crazy measures to reach you eventually slowed down. 

Year two rolled around and for the first time, you heard no signs from him for a whole two weeks. But still, he was known to pop out when you got the most comfortable so you wearily anticipated him. But then two weeks turned into a month. One month turned into four. Before you knew it a whole year had passed with nothing from his end. In that time you managed to get your life back on track. You moved out of your parent's house into a nice apartment and were able to get the old job that you had before leaving Florida to be with Jonathan back.

It had been two years since you removed yourself from his life so you thought that the Jonathan Solofa Fatu chapter in your life was closed. You thought you would never hear another peep from him but yet here you were holding this letter.

And any peace you thought you had found with the situation was now completely disturbed.

Part 2

[necroromantics]

☀️ — The Sun; Tobin Lawsen

the boy who pulls his canines out with pliers in hopes that he'll stop biting the hand that feeds.

- tobin lawsen wasn't a good person by any means.

- he grew up in a small dirty mobile home in north dakota. born and raised trailer trash. from an early age he was deemed a diseased mutt, a feral hound.

- the boy was nothing but dog teeth, bloody knuckles, cigarette smoke, house fires.

- he was shotgun shells and broken glass.

- peach pits, orange juice, booze he stole from his parents. climbing the roof of his childhood home to sneak a bottle with the same kids who considered him a freak. he never cared about any of them.

- on the brightside, he never had anything to lose. all he had to his name was ripped up sneakers crusted with graveyard dirt and his backpack which held in it his entire life.

- if he wasn't doing whatever drug he could get his hands on, he was at home fighting with his father, or taking care of his little sister.

- if he wasn't at home getting dragged out back to be beat for running his mouth, he was causing trouble at school, or skipping class to get high.

- tobins philosophy was that nothing truly mattered. not his family, his friends, anyone or anything. he couldn't bring himself to care about any of it, he barely cared about himself.

- all that mattered to him was whatever kept him entertained in the moment. whether that was picking fights, getting high, or making friends with people he knew he wouldn't keep around for long.

- he was socially isolated from a very young age, all the other kids would distance themselves from him, or treat him like a creep. this caused him to become pretty socially inept, not really understanding boundaries, social etiquette, right or wrong.

- he never properly learned how to be a normal person, or how to shut his mouth, or how to do anything but bite back hard.

- nobody could really stomach tobin. aside from the brutal scar on his lip from a childhood dog attack, he was a mess. he was mean, insensitive, off-putting. everybody who tried to swallow him eventually choked him back up.

- that isn't to say he was entirely insufferable. he was witty, outgoing, goofy, could make friends with just about anyone if he wanted to. tobin had a weird sort of charm to him; at the beginning.

- but as soon as someone began to push past the line of casual acquaintance, they'd understand quickly why he didn't really have any friends.

- like the sun, whoever got too close would eventually get burnt.

^ art by my girlfriend, tobin is made by me

[nomsfaultau]

Daily ask №21 (3 WEEK ANNIVERSARY WOO)

Education edition!

1. The fault crew get magically teleported to high school. To everyone else they appear as perfectly normal, definitely human, high school age students. Except Phil, he's a professor. Oh also the red is temporarily disabled. They also get a note from me apologizing for sending them into random situations so much and the info that they'll be there for one school day and they'll be teleported back when they exit the school after the school day ends. They also have backpacks with their timetables and any other normal schools stuff they might need. What happens?

2. What would each character's favourite subject be? Why?

3. How much experience does each character actually have with school/the education system?

4. Would Tubbo having dyslexia imply that dyslexia is a condition that affects the soul and not the brain? Considering the fact that I don't think they.. have.. a brain. Can they even get brain damage? Or bruises (doesn't have blood).

5. What would each character be a teacher of if they had to be a teacher?

1.Well Tommy is having the best day of his life making friends and chatting and goofing off. Everyone else is losing their minds. I don’t imagine they’d participate willingly given a major lack of familiarity and general chaotic upheaval, but we’ll assume magic reinforcement. 

Phil is pulling his hair out trying to fake lectures on the fly, but is pretty good once he gets into it. Honestly one of the better substitutes the classes have gotten, given I’ve dealt with neonazi subs in the past. He’s fun and nice but can wrangle everyone enough that they aren’t just feral. Philza is unflappable to various hazing rituals, and somehow gets a class to enjoy a brief meditating session like one of my coworkers managed once. Still don’t know how she got 10 year olds to beg to meditate again…

Tubbo is desperately trying to find a wheel chair so they don’t have to explain the flying thing. And then kinda adores it since it’s so much easier to get around and they’re way less tired than normal since constantly flying on a skeleton crew gives very little time to rest. Unforchie living in the woods makes wheelchairs impractical due to the terrain. They keep going hella fast and accidentally running into walls and stuff. Though it’s probably an awful model that is uncomfortable after a few hours rip. Other than that, becomes THE person for school gossip. Literally knows all the dirt within hours. Cheats their way through all tests and work too because come on they’re an adult they’re not dealing with this bullmuffin. 

Wilbur is mentally dying. He only knows forbidden knowledge and has never done proper math before. Its only understanding of social convention is stuff picked up in crowds and stores, only brief interactions to avoid further attention. Doesn’t understand literally anything that’s happening, and ends up ditching class to try and hide until the school day is over (no concept of how long that is). Starts stress eating really bad. 

The Blade is somewhat shy at first given it’s a bunch of people he doesn’t know, but gets into it. He’s having fun preforming way above grade level and rubbing it in the face of children. But also uuhsghsja in person school is so long and requires consistent attention in a way that is hellish on the adhd. He misses college schedule flexibility and fewer number of hours. 

2.The Blade likes mythology bc he’s a nerd. And also the voices have scraps of information from the past sometimes. Wilbur likes theater because it’s his natural calling. Philza likes science because it keeps evolving all the time and is really funny to compare to previous human theories on how stuff works. Tommy likes art. He’s not like good but he has fun. Tubbo’s a philosophy guy since omg other people with ethics…

3.Wilbur: zilch. Nada. Never really considered how humans seem to know stuff while he’s had to puzzle everything out. Is jealous when it realizes people are just told how to operate and function in society when it had to learn the hard way. 

The Blade: online classes, skimmed through K-12 stuff and then attended proper college. A proud dual major. 

Tubbo: has gone through the school system twice, plus law school. I think Rosalind was like a psychology major but didn’t do anything with it. Jasmine was in year one, and Rhodes gave Tubbo informal schooling. 

Tommy: a high school dropout because the Foundation got him before he could graduate. Was planning to go to college but wasn’t sure what degree to get. 

Philza: a bunch of weird stuff over the millennia. Not stuff really geared towards children, but I figure he’s dipped in with various philosopher and academic circles. I suppose most recently would be Dr. Anderson rambling about his archeology work, since Phil was a big help on his thesis. 

4.Nah not a soul thing at all. Bees have brains. And also very importantly, 2 compound eyes with 6,000 lenses and three ocelli (primitive light receptor eyes). Now that is a lot of images, though a bee brain does combine them like how we combine our two fields of vision. Except, Tubbo also has approximately 1 million eyes when at the 200k population, most of which is not looking at only the words before them. Plus most of those eyes are very very small compared to the letters. This all makes it rather hard for them to read, which Rhodes interpreted as dyslexia.  

Also fun fact only the insectoid body’s eyes can see the color red, since (to my understanding) light operates differently at a small scale so insects operate lower on the light spectrum (ultra violet to orange). But the insectoid eyes are way bigger so they can have human range too. Though Tubbo tends to call things that for them are in the orange range red since obviously when Rhodes was looking at red stuff that’s what he taught them it was. So also partially color blind, or color+ given the ultra violet. 

Tubbo could get temporary brain damage should the majority of bees get brain damage (probably difficult without killing them). But give them a month and those bees will all be dead and replaced. Potentially could get bruise like injuries from internal damage to honey cells, but they’d probably eat the spilled honey. 

5.Phil is a welding teacher because fire and invention. He helps kids make swords and whatever they can think of since he wants to foster human innovation. He can’t be a history teacher because what he has experience with is very spotty and he’d probably argue with the official version of history so much that all his students fail testing.

Wilbur is a gym teacher. Everyday is leg day. It loves designing weird challenges and games and honestly half the kids probably hate it. He always beats them on the mile, definitely not one of those gym teachers that sits and watches the kids exercise. 

Assuming the orphan thing isn’t a problem, The Blade is an English teacher. Preferably for middle schoolers since they’d really vibe with his edgy humor. Everything he grades is always three months late. 

Tommy teaches graphic design. It’s stuff like editing silly videos and photoshop nonsense. It’s very easy to get him off topic to avoid working that class period. 

Tubbo covers home ec with an emphasis on stuff like gardening. They always seem to know when people are acting up, like eyes in the back of their head but a million times worse. 

[x-dot-com]

Haiii people in my phone!!!1!!!1!

Soooo, my name is X or Xavier, either one works and I’m ok with other nicknames!!! I’m 15 years and 3 months old, my b-day is in the spooky month of October! I’m a goofy guy who goes by he/they/any pronouns but she/her!! This is my first social media account cuz I’ve never really wanted to be online a lot, so please don’t judge my intro thxxx!!! :333

Everyone is welcome unless you’re here to spread hate, this includes anybody who is racist, transphobic, homophobic, or bigoted!

I’m in a handful of fandoms lol, some of them include;

• Minecraft SMP’s

•Realm SMP(Still ongoing, hosted by Tubbo)

•ASMP(Is over, hosted by AimseyTV)

•QSMP(Is over, hosted by Quackity)

•DSMP(is over, I do NOT support the problematic creators on it)

• Webcomics!! The ones I really like are:

I’m the Grim Reaper

Dead But Not Gone

LUMINE

It Strikes a Chord

Paperteeth

Confetti Cookies

High Class Homos

The Moth Prince

1HP Club

Watermelon

School Bus Graveyard

Clinic of Horrors

• GENERATION LOSS!!!!1!1!!1!!!! Also known as Gen Loss!!

The Social Experiments(TSE)

The Founders Cut(or The Lounders Cut, have you seen his signature?? The F looks like an L, like, get better writing man smh 🙄)

The Founders Game(In it is Afterschool Slash, RIP Ben 😭)

ITS MY WHOLE LIFE, AND HAS BEEN FOR THE PAST ALMOST TWO YEARS LOL (AND HAVE YOU SEEN THE FOUNDER?? LIKE SMAAAA-)

• FNAF(I am STILL trying to comprehend the lore like WHAT DO YOU MEAN theres new things????😭)

• Gravity Falls (I fricking love it so much, it reminds me that it’s ok to be myself <3)

• Jurassic Park Camp Cretaceous/Chaos Theory(What did they do to Ben in Chaos Theory??? He looks like my weed smoking lesbian son 😭 I fr love him tho lol)

I have a whole bunch of interests, including but not limited to; D&D, Magic The Gathering, drawing(or any sort of art), Kandi making, learning French, writing, HIGHLAND COWS(omg I love these animals so so much), choir, band, computer coding, acting, Monster Energy(I’m unhealthily addicted lol), collecting bones, exploring, escape rooms, eyeballs(like, googly eyes or any type of eye thing, no clue why XD), cosplaying, The MissClick Duo(I love doomed gay lovers lol), reading, and a whole lot more!!!1!!!1!!1!!

My music taste and most things about me are alternative, so I might be a little weird/cringy, but I don’t care! I’m just here to have fun! My taste in music is mostly hyperpop, breakcore, and nightcore, but consists of a little bit of a lot of things! My favorite artists are(in no particular order):

• Femtanyl

• FEM&M

•LuLuYam

•Sparkbird

• Lemon Demon

•CG5

• MAILPUP

• BRN1NG BRAIN SOUND INDUSTRIES

• Rabbitology

• Penelope Scott

• Hatsune Miku

• Set It Off

• Mother Mother

• Bo Burnham

• I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

• STOMACH BOOK

And my favorite songs(as of now and in no particular order) are:

• Confessions of a Rotten Girl-SAWTOWNE

• NEVER MET!-CMTEN, Glitch Gum

• PARAGON-LuLuYam

• Part of the Show-Pecantheoof

• FOREVERMORE-Mika Hammy

• ITS TIME-Femtanyl

• Girl Hell 1999-Femtanyl

• MURDER EVERY 1 U KNOW-Femtanyl

• Redesign Your Logo(Bonus Track)-Lemon Demon(this one especially gives off so much Gen Loss vibes like AHHH!!!!)

I’m also super proud of my little OC’s so ima list them offfff!!!1!1!!!!(main ones are the top 4 :P)

• Xiero(Zie-roh)

• Pomme(Pom)

• Fazer(Fay-zur)

• Diesel Baby(dont ask about him…)

• Saturn and Pluto(Older sister, younger brother)

• Ozera(Oh-zur-a)

• [REDACTED](Just a funky dude)

• Cyder(Guess what they were based off of… cheese)

• Marmalade(She’s uhmmm… I don’t have much on her yet lol)

• Atlas(Xiero and Vix’s youngest brother)

•Vix(Xiero’s younger brother and Atlas’s older sibling)

•Smolzer(I’m a D&D DM but this is my character when I play :D)

Anyways, that’s me for now!!!1!!1!! Have a wonderful day/night!!1!1!!!!Yippieee!!!1!!1!!

[twilightcitadel]

An Exploration of Medieval Fantasy Anime/Manga

Vinland Saga

Within the vast and magical realm of anime, there is a subgenre that transports viewers to medieval settings inhabited by knights, magic, and fantastical creatures. The allure of historical locales mixed with fantastical aspects is what makes medieval fantasy anime so captivating—it takes viewers to worlds beyond our own. We will examine the fundamentals of medieval fantasy anime, delve into its many subgenres, and offer a list of the top 5 shows that you simply must watch in this blog post.

Understanding Medieval Fantasy Anime

The rich tapestry of medieval European history serves as the basis for medieval fantasy anime, which infuses it with fantastical elements like magic, mythological creatures, and heroic quests. Both fans of fantasy and anime are drawn to the genre's distinct atmosphere, which is frequently characterised by knights, castles, and feudal societies.

Sub-genres within Medieval Fantasy Anime

High Fantasy Epics:

This category includes shows like "Berserk" and "Record of Lodoss War" which offer complex, expansive stories with huge battles and elaborate world-building.

Source: MyAnimeList - Berserk, Record of Lodoss War

Isekai Adventures:

A distinctive twist is added to certain medieval fantasy anime through the use of the isekai (another world) element. "Re:Zero - Starting Life in Another World" and "The Rising of the Shield Hero" propel their main characters into medieval-esque settings from the contemporary world.

Source: MyAnimeList - Re:Zero, Shield Hero

Historical Fantasy Blend:

"Vinland Saga" and other television shows skillfully blend fantasy and historical events. It offers a distinct viewpoint by fusing creative storytelling with historical characters and locations.

Source: MyAnimeList - Vinland Saga

Magical Academies:

Due to the presence of academies where characters train to become masters of mystical powers, anime such as "The Irregular at Magic High School" and "The Seven Deadly Sins" give magical elements to medieval settings.

Source: Fandom - Irregular at Magic High School, Seven Deadly Sins

Slice of Life in Fantasy Realms:

Some series, such as "Spice and Wolf" and "The Ancient Magus' Bride" blend medieval fantasy with elements of everyday life, creating a unique and immersive experience.

Source: MyAnimeList - Spice and Wolf, Ancient Magus' Bride

Top 5 Must-Watch Medieval Fantasy Anime

After examining the various sub-genres, let's take a look at the top 5 medieval fantasy anime, which are distinguished by their captivating stories, striking artwork, and endearing characters.

Berserk:

This epic work of dark fantasy follows the adventures of a lone mercenary named Guts, who has a tragic past, as he fights his way through a world full of corrupt knights and demons.

Source: MyAnimeList - Berserk

Re:Zero - Starting Life in Another World:

Subaru Natsuki finds himself in a fantasy world reminiscent of the Middle Ages and learns he has the capacity to resurrect himself. themes of love, sacrifice, and personal development are all explored in the series.

Source: Crunchyroll - Re:Zero

Vinland Saga:

"Vinland Saga" is a historical narrative that follows the life of Thorfinn, a young warrior on the verge of vengeance in a world ripped apart by conflict and political intrigue.

Source: MyAnimeList - Vinland Saga

The Irregular at Magic High School:

Tatsuya and Miyuki Shiba, siblings, enrol in First High School in a world where magic is accepted as a technology in order to learn how to deal with the challenges of magical academia and social hierarchies.

Source: Fandom - Irregular at Magic High School

Spice and Wolf:

"Spice and Wolf" is a delightful story that combines medieval fantasy and economics. It centres on the travels of Kraft Lawrence, a travelling merchant, and Holo, the wolf deity.

Source: Fandom - Spice and Wolf

My Own Dark Fantasy Realm

Hi there, fellow fans of dark fantasy! Thanks to your unflinching support, our blog—which is packed with tales and inspirations of dark fantasy—is making waves on TikTok, Pinterest, and YouTube. Even more thrilling is the fact that we're creating a captivating Trading Card Game to further engross you in Twilight Citadel's eerie mysteries. Explore the depths of the shadows with our website, where you can get eerie yet lovely phone wallpapers and posters. Furthermore, we've got you covered with free resources like desktop wallpapers and profile pictures to make sure your gadgets are brimming with eerie fantasy atmosphere. Come along with us on this surreal adventure, where fears come true and shadows dance. Are you prepared to welcome the gloom?

Conclusion

We've travelled through a variety of sub-genres in our investigation of medieval fantasy anime, learning about the distinct fusion of imagination and history that characterises this fascinating subgenre. Whether you're looking for a way to escape into magical worlds, high fantasy epics, isekai adventures, or historical fantasy blends, each series offers something different. Medieval fantasy anime has something to offer every anime fan, whether they are drawn to magical academies, epic battles, or slice-of-life moments in fantastical settings. Prepare yourself for a captivating journey as you explore the world of medieval fantasy anime, which is full of magic, knights, and mythological creatures.

[riftdancing]

“By the gales, do my eyes deceive me or did the rat just drag in the Caracal?” A hushed voice whispered through opposite cell bars. Bated breath caught in the highlander woman’s chest as her rosy tanned cheeks pressed against the cool metal bars straining to get a better look at the ex-soldier who had been deposited roughly upon unforgiving metal floors like a sack of popotoes. Vaniro’s body was weak and her limbs limp, save for the slow fetal curl inwards as she willed herself to persist through the pain with an outward groan. “You look like shit, Nabel.” The cat hadn’t even so much as glanced in the Highlander’s direction as she spat some of her own blood across the cold steel floor. A greeting between sky pirates was a greeting nonetheless, no matter how sour. A cheeky laugh belonging to the playful highlander woman echoed in her direction from the cell next to her. “Aw, thanks puddin’. You’re as radiant as ever. They give you that shiner as a welcoming gift?” “Piss off.” Vaniro growled as the soldier turned prisoner pushed herself to her feet. She swayed uneasily as she began to find her footing. “Ooo, she’s eloquent too. Did they teach you that in finishing school, Love?” Nabel heckled her, genuinely happy to see a familiar face in such an unpleasant circumstance. Perhaps one she could consider an ally too. Gently, the woman brushed a brown curl out of her easy golden eyes. “It's good to see you.” The roughed up feline rolled one shoulder, giving the woman no more than a grunt in response as her shoulder gave a sickening crack of protest. “Have you been here long, Nabel?” The sentiment was not returned. “Long enough to watch them drag your sorry ass in, Vaniro.” Fight fire with fire, they say. “You can call me Gabby, you know.” “Tch.” Social interaction was already wearing on the introverted feline and the click of her tongue was enough to signal the end of conversation. Vaniro fell quiet as she collected herself, smoothed out her unkempt uniform, and turned that piercing gaze upon the cell which now contained her. There wasn’t a lot to it, not that it surprised her. Garlemald had a way about simplicities, in that the cell was just barely complex enough to sustain life and nothing more. An uncomfortable cot against the back wall, a shitter in the corner, and what might be a sink on the back side of it. Beyond that? Nothing.

“Man the last time I saw you I was watching the back end of the Elemental high tailing it over Skatay Range.” Gabby mused whimsically, reminiscing about Blink’s past as the soldier in question began looking for any weakness to her cage. “Successful run too.” Vaniro’s words came faintly, distracted, as she rattled cell bars seeing if there was any give. There wasn’t. In the cell next to her Gabby kicked her boots up against the wall getting settled upon her own uncomfortable cot as she indulged in the past. “Legendary I’ve heard.” “Tall tales.” Vaniro was quick to put the rumor to rest. “The gales that high should have ripped her to shreds, but I hear you got her out in one piece…” Vaniro froze, her body tensing as she ground pearly fangs against one another due to the unpleasant memory. “With weeks worth of repairs to boot.” It was her fault. The ship had barely made it over the ridge. But they had made it out. “Won’t you take a compliment, Captain?” Nabel purred with mirth. “I’m not your Captain.” Vaniro quipped heartlessly. “Nooo, of course not. You’re a soldier now aren’t ya? Joined up with the Empire, big ‘n bad. Really showed us.” A pause as Nabel’s playful nature decayed into disgust, causing her petite brow to twitch. Or was it disappointment? It was hard for Vaniro to discern. It brought the determined woman to a full stop. “If I’m an Imperial soldier then why the fuck would I be in here with you?” Heterochromic eyes locked onto the Highlander finally as Blink awaited her answer callously. “…Yeah, so what’d you do to piss ‘em off?” Gabby chuckled curiously. Silence filled the stale air between them for a moment before a small smirk cracked at the corner of Vaniro’s upturning lips. “Defected.” “Your luck run out then?” “If I blame everything on luck, I’ll never change anything.” “That’s some shit luck then, Mate.” Vaniro's ears pinned before she took a pointed step towards the bars which separated both the women. “You want out of here or not?” “Does a caged bird yearn to fly?” the Highlander ruminated. “Then get your ass up off that cot ‘n come help me.” Gabby immediately leapt to her feet. “Yes, Captain!” “I’m not your Captain.”

[mrcowboydeanwinchester]

🔪 Revenge for Dummies 💋

jomeg fic - 10k - rating: T - high school AU - 2stab2fest - read on ao3

“You said it yourself that being lesbian has novelty value! So it is a popularity move!” Meg shrieks. With blood smeared across her face and eyes wild with the power of standing on a table in two inch heels, she looks demonic. She looks incredible, Jo thinks. She looks like royalty. “We are being QUEERBAITED."

Jo is the queen bee of Midwest High, all until Meg steals the throne by claiming Jo is queerbaiting the school. What follows is the epic tale of Jo’s homoerotic revenge mission. It’s about girlhood and popularity and lesbianism and being a batshit insane 16 year old—with a knife!

written for the brilliantly run 2stab2fest and accompanied by gorgeous art from @keikakudom !!

chapter 1 of 5 below cut!

High School 101

Though it might’ve come as a shock to her 10 year old self, at 16, Jo Harvelle’s life is one long chick-flick moment. We’re talking resident queen bee of Midwest High with a side-dish of blonde bombshell best served hot. She rules alongside her best friend and loyal confidant Claire Novak, and their passionate alliance is founded on the fact they met in the opening weeks of middle school, when Claire found Jo reading Beginner’s Book to Blade Wielding in the quietest corner of the library and asked if she could read it with her.

It therefore may come as a surprise to some that Jo and Claire have ascended the ranks of social status with such ease and grace. Stabby lesbians with dearly departed daddys don’t often tend to work the runways of high school popularity, after all, but the facts of the matter fall like this: Jo has always been an outcast, but now she gets to be distant in the way royalty is and not in the way lepers are. Like, untouchable, but make it chic. 

The lesbian thing turns out to be pretty helpful too. Jo and Claire are known for their Biker Barbie lesbian swag, which, at Midwest High, provides the perfect intersection of gender. The boys are into their leather jackets, but Jo and Claire don’t want them back, and the girls crave their nonchalantly fashionable attitude, so Jo and Claire can bask in their heterosexually-awed stares. It’s a perfectly measured concoction of being the most beautiful girls in the whole school but not doing it for the guys. Jo and Claire simply aren’t like other girls, and so all the other girls want to be like them. 

So animal skin, pop-punk listening habits, and blonde hair. Paired with the incomprehensible fact they are two sapphic best friends who aren’t in love with each other, the whole school is pliant under their sweet and unbothered thumbs. Claire even had the incredible idea to glue Biker Barbie in pink rhinestones to the backs of their matching leather jackets. They are an inseparable gang of two and they rule the school, stomping past lockers and lesser students in matching black leather jackets, ripped jeans, and gleaming Doc Martens.

And it’s a fucking difficult life.

That’s Jo, right there, the protagonist of our Riverdalian love story. 

Yeah, hi, it’s me. And let me tell you, the pressures of being the lesbian leader of hundreds of high school aged monstrosities are pretty near infinite. Firstly, I’m 16. I’ve never even kissed a girl, and somehow being one of the first kids in my grade to come out means I’m some dykey messiah. It’s a pretty impressionable age to be seen as a sexuality first and a person second. 

Secondly, everyone in this place is like, stinking rich. Yachts and lawyers and mansions abound and so nobody can ever know me and mom scrape by living above a literal bar. All the rich kids have aloof, only vaguely invested parents, so they can do what they want, but I’m cursed with a mom who loves me and so is ridiculously interested (read: controlling) in my life. It’s just a shame my dad makes up for this by not being interested enough, in that he is dead.

Finally, amid the other infinite reasons why maintaining my monarchal image is hellishly hard, I’m not obliviously iconic like Cher from Clueless. I’m not just some dumb box bleach blonde—I’m the girl who’s making ‘freak with the knife collection’ work for her. That’s a hard line to walk. It’s a fucking tightrope. And I’ve been walking it for years. 

On the topic of walking, another of our story’s featured cast is now strutting into view. We’re alongside Jo and Claire in the cafeteria at lunch, gazing down on the masses of normies from the heights of the exclusive Royal Banqueting Table. Popularity is performance, and so the Royal Banqueting Table is the only one in the cafeteria on a raised bit of floor. It’s a stage, essentially; it’s like sitting in the royal box or the back of the bus. 

And through the maze of tables, past the nerds and the basketball team and the theater kids—this is a high school, after all—Meg Masters and The Rubies are winding their way towards Jo and Claire. Jo’s hackles raise at the sight of them, and she points them out to Claire with a nudge and a roll of her eyes. 

Meg Masters is just like the other girls. She wears tight dresses and little tops and buys all-natural avocado shampoo which has the word ‘organic’ on the bottle but which her daddy flies in from Hawaii. She is rich rich, with the kind of house so big her parents keep their sailing boat in the front garden. But with the hordes of hell hounds baying for blood at the grand entrance of the passcode protected gates, it’s not like anyone at Midwest High has ever gotten the chance to really see it. 

Well, anyone at Midwest High apart from Jo. 

Because Jo and Meg had been best friends once upon a time, back in kindergarten and elementary school, in that squishy age where time isn’t real but friends are. They had been everything to each other, vowing solemnly at sleepovers never to lose the friendship which was blossoming so pure between them. 

It wasn’t pure, Meg dropped me the second she got the chance to. The instant we reached high school, the ties were cut. 

Jo doesn’t remember exactly how their friendship ended, she just knows it hurt her more than anything else ever has.

Shut up, I remember it. Meg was a bitch. I guess some girls are just built different: she went out shopping with her flaky new rich friends, and me and Claire built a small empire.

It is perhaps pertinent to mention here that while Jo is a very self-aware lesbian, she hasn’t quite mastered the art of feminism yet. She is only 16, after all. 

Meg has equipped herself with new friends since the disintegration of her friendship with Jo, and these new friends take the form of The Rubies. If Meg keeps hell hounds at home, The Rubies are the demonic little chihuahuas who cling to her heels at school. Ruby 1 and Ruby 2 are essentially indifferentiable apart from the fact that Ruby 1 is blonde, with mean little bangs, and Ruby 2 is a pissy brunette. Underneath the skin they are both the same: shallow, devilish girls who delight in igniting chaos and looking good while doing it. So while the words Meg and The Rubies sound like a spunky indie girl band, the reality is that they are beautiful, invulnerably rich teens who love nothing better than making everyone else’s life hell. 

“Meg and The Rubies at 12 o’clock,” Claire announces to the table.

The royal court of Bela Talbot, Rowena MacLeod, and Billie (nobody knows their last name, in the same way nobody knows Adele’s or Madonna’s—you simply don’t need to) chorus a sympathetic sigh. They are staples of the Royal Banquet Table, being more loyal to the power of The Table than to the current monarchy itself, and so Jo and Claire tolerate them. Rowena’s basically a witch, and Bela’s English, and Jo is pretty sure Billie could strangle her with their bare hands and she’d say thank you, so. It’s not like they’re unattractive company.

Besides, there’s another member of the table Jo is more concerned with.

Dean Winchester leans over to Jo, and in a rarely captured example of sensible advice, says, “ignore them, Jo, they’re not worth your time.”

Dean Winchester is different to Bela, Rowena, and Billie. He makes Jo’s very lesbian brain come to an unwilling and baffling stop. She looks into his dewy green eyes and she hears white noise. He’s a senior, and he exclusively wears his dad’s too-big leather jacket because he thinks it makes him look cool (it kinda does) and Jo would die before admitting that sometimes it feels like no one else’s opinion of her in the whole world matters apart from his. 

Hey, fuck off! My feelings about Dean Winchester are perfectly normal.

“Yeah, you too,” Jo replies to Dean. And conversation is a subjective artform, but that is not the correct response to Dean’s previous statement. 

Dean smiles at Jo anyway, like she’s somehow fun to be around, and she’s glad that if being the Teen Queen of the school gets her anything, it’s this. Dean hangs out with them some days, when he feels like it. Mostly he hangs out in the school’s garage working on cars, and more recently he’s been spending time in the gardens with the new transfer student Clarence. 

My gaydar senses something is up there, by the way.

Jo is at least right about that. 

Noice.

But as much as Jo tries to take Dean’s surprisingly sensible advice to ignore Meg and The Rubies, this is proves a lot more difficult than expected when Meg stalks over to the Royal Banqueting Table, steps up on the bench and onto the table itself, and lands the heels of her two inch stilettos right into the bread of Jo’s sandwich.

Jo peers up past the ankle—plump and solid—up the shin—shaved smooth and speckled strawberry—to the thigh—soft and fleshy—and then almost but not quite up her teeny tiny silky skirt.

“The fuck are you doing? Get your weirdly impractical shoes out of my sandwich stat, Masters,” Jo growls. 

“Sorry, Josephine, no can do,” Meg says, her dainty lips curling maliciously around her words.

“You know that’s not my name.”

“Oh, is it not? That fact must have walked out of my brain the day you walked out of my life.”

Jo scoffs. “The day I walked out on you?”

“Okay, Meg, get off the table and stop making a scene,” Dean cuts in, trying to stench the flow of petty words before the drama dam bursts. He is unsuccessful.

Meg smiles. “Sorry, Deano. I have an announcement to make, and this table is my stage.” Her voice is rich as honey but dangerous as dart frog venom.

It is then that Jo sees the Gucci megaphone clutched in Meg’s perfectly manicured hands. 

This is so not groovy. 

“Hear ye, hear ye,” she begins before Claire can swipe the megaphone out of her hands and Dean can try and defuse the situation further. The Rubies are now standing either side of the Royal Banqueting Table like femme-fatale bouncers, effectively immobilizing the royal court. 

The whole cafeteria falls obediently silent. Somewhere among the fringe groups, a phone buzzes, and is quickly stifled.

“I know we’re all obsessed with Jo and Claire, our Biker Barbies. They’re the reigning queens of our little high school, right? And what do we love them for? Their cutesy little rhinestone jackets, their perfectly blonde hair? Their lesbian swag?” 

Jo and Claire exchange perturbed looks. Around the cafeteria, students are nodding affirmatively; if this is Meg trying to start a Les Mis style anti-monarchy rebellion, she’s gonna have to go a little more opera.

“But what if I told you that having matching Hobby-Lobby jackets isn’t the flex you think it is? What if I told you that they bleach their hair to make it that color?” 

An uneasy muttering sweeps across the hall, and Jo suddenly realizes: Meg is working up to something. 

What if she tells them about how I live above a creepy bar? What if she tells them about the dusty-ass van mom drives me halfway to school in? What if she tells them about how invested my mother is in my life and wellbeing and how weird it is that there’s only a twenty year age gap between us and that sometimes I feel more like I’m living in a documentary about troubled young women rather than a chick-flick movie?

“What if I told you that little Joey here isn’t a real lesbian?”

Jo almost spits out her water, the laugh comes out of her so hard. “What? Come on, jello-head, I’ve been averting my eyes from lingerie stores since I came out the womb.”

“Is that so, Harvelle?” Meg sings, and her eyes flash obsidian. “Because I have it on good authority that you, self-proclaimed cowgirl and lover of posse, have a crush on Dean Winchester.”

Suddenly everything about the situation is a lot less funny. The room erupts riotously, screeches of jeers and laughter echoing across the hall. Jo feels the blood rush to her face hard and fast, much like how she imagines an erection might feel if it was brought on by intense shame. Next to her, Dean’s minty eyes are wide and staring. She flinches away from him like his touch might corrupt her all-important lesbianism. 

“No, I don’t!” Jo cries. Her voice goes unheard over the chaos of the hall.

“Awh,” Meg sighs, pouting down patronizingly at where Jo is now shaking with rage in her seat,  “that’s exactly what someone with a massive crush on Dean Winchester would say.”

“You can’t just say she’s not a lesbian, only she can say that!” Claire screams indignantly. She scrambles up beside Meg before The Rubies can pull her down and wrestles the megaphone from her hands, giving her a solid elbow to the nose as she does so. Meg’s head ricochets back and her nose bursts, bloody in her hands. 

“Shut up!” Claire bellows into the megaphone. Her cry rebounds across the far wall of the cafeteria at such a volume several kids covered their ears, and the hall falls sheepishly silent a second time. A few whispers snake across the air, though, and Jo feels her kingdom slip a little further from her grasp. “Use your brains, boneheads. As if Jo would lie about being a lesbian. Where’s the fun in that? This butt-crazy bitch just wants what we have and you can’t let her lap it up.”

“You can’t call me a bitch, that’s misogynistic!” 

“You can’t call Jo straight, that’s homophobic!”

“You said it yourself that being lesbian has novelty value! So it is a popularity move!” Meg shrieks. With blood smeared across her face and eyes wild with the power of standing on a table in two inch heels, she looks demonic. She looks incredible, Jo thinks. She looks like royalty. “We are being QUEERBAITED.”

Oh, fuck. As much as I like to channel Taylor Swift, I don’t think I can come back from the Q word like she can.

And so that is the day that Jo and Claire lose the Teen Queen crown; that is the day the Biker Barbies’ heads feel the cold sharp cut of the guillotine. Meg and The Rubies are the new reigning monarchs of Midwest High. 

[aphmaurewrite]

Balto Anderson [Rewrite Overview]

Balto, the first character where I feel like I can properly share my thoughts/general plans for how my Mystreet rewrite is gonna work. With this rewrite, I really wanted to work on my own personal research and writing revolving real life issues since it’s based far more in the modern/current reality than Minecraft Diaries. 

Balto is one of the characters who, while not a major player in the overall story, has a story and past dealing with some of the rougher shit in life (not to say Aaron and Aphmau and others don’t, it’s just different types of shit) and so all that to say basically that I’m not someone who’s been through parts of Balto’s life, and if anyone has any comments/concerns/suggestions, that my DMs/ask box is always open for critique. I will always do the best I can to discuss issues with as much kindness and grace as I can and I’m always willing to learn if I fuck up anywhere :)!

CW // Drug abuse (not descriptive)

-He/Him [Cis]

-31

-Biracial [Black/White]

-Werewolf

-Straight

Balto’s early life isn’t super notable, but during his high school years he was sent to Falconclaw Military Academy due to destructive behavior, wherein he joined the football team. His bad behavior continued even after this, with his over-aggressive nature causing him to be targeted both in school and on the field. This constant targeting eventually led Balto to dealing with a spinal injury after pissing off another player, an injury that would leave him bed-ridden for a month and with severe chronic back pain following the recovery. Even despite his rough shape, Balto continued with the nasty attitude problems, and his parents quit trying, and instead told him to leave once he turned eighteen.

Homeless and still struggling with the severe chronic pain, Balto turned to abusing the pain medication he’d been prescribed to deal with both the pain and the stress of it all. He’d continue to bounce from place to place, unable to keep a job and constantly getting into fights. It wasn’t until he got into a fight that left him with a gnarly ripped ear and a couple of ugly wounds that Balto would be forced into a local treatment program. At first, he was completely unresponsive to it all, causing quite a headache for his social worker - until he met a woman named Kiki. Kiki was a vet and the owner of the local animal shelter, a place known to hire people struggling to get on their feet. While working with Kiki, Balto was touched by her kindness, and it was due to that and everything that had happened prior that he started on his real path to recovery. 

Even after getting clean, Balto continued to work with Kiki, insisting on it to “keep her safe” as she often worked late at the shelter by herself and Balto wanted to do everything he could to return that kindness.

[dreamqueenkala]

WHERE SUMMER ENDS, THE HUNT BEGINS

Previous Chapter

Laura Kearney is my best friend and is currently missing.

Max Brinly is my best friend and is currently missing.

Ryan Erzahler is friendly towards me.

Jacob Custos is easily flustered around me.

Abigail Blyg is distasteful of me.

Dylan Lenivy finds me adorable.

Emma Mountebank greatly enjoys my company.

Kaitlyn Ka is entertained by me.

Nicholas Furcillo is protective of me.

Travis Hackett has no relation to me.

Chris Hackett finds me reliable.

I am alive, sane and unharmed.

I have yet to have a clairvoyant vision.

No paths have branched.

|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|

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Viewing Tape #7

Hackett's Quarry Summer Camp Entrance

17:07 August 22–Carter Rhodes

Emma stood in the middle of the dirt road, waving off the bus at it retreated down the trail back towards the interstate. "Bye!" She called, lifting on her toes for a moment with a smile.

Nick, standing on the balcony beside Dylan, smiled slightly with a soft tone to his voice. "Laters!"

Dylan grinned that familiar dopey grin of his, sending the kids off with a salute. "Peace and love!"

Snickering softly, I tossed a peace sign up in the air, wolf whistling playfully. "Adios, little dudes!"

Kaitlyn, perched on the steps with Jacob, folded her arms over her chest. "See ya later, kids!"

"Yeah! Hackett's Quarry forever!" Jacob cheered, arm draped over the shorter girls shoulders. I shook my head, standing beside Emma as she blew a few air kisses after the bus, one final wave on her mind. The blonde, despite being taller than me, had quickly become one of my best friends here at the quarry. She was incredibly outgoing which more than made up for my typically shy nature, and I found myself confiding in her more often than I did the camp owner.

After spending two months here, taking care of much younger kiddos surrounded by nature and rambunctious teens fresh out of high school, I'd grown to miss my home slightly less. It was far more peaceful here than back home, at least, it was for me. I didn't have the best family life, living with a single mother that couldn't stand half of the stuff I was into—supposedly because I was either too much like my dead father or not enough like him. Coming here was my safe haven, rescuing me from a summer that would've been shrouded in storm clouds—ironic because I love thunderstorms.

It would've been better if my two best friends had actually made it, though. We'd planned to work here together this summer, but Max and Laura decided it would be best to head in a day early. I'd told them I'd had a bad feeling about the idea, what with my strong sixth sense and all, but Laura was quick to shoot down my concerns. She claimed it was my social anxiety, and Max and I had no other reason not to believe her. I showed up the day after and unfortunately discovered they hadn't arrived.

According to Chris Hackett, the camp owner, they'd called in and claimed they weren't going to make it. My gut feeling didn't agree with the excuse he gave us, but I didn't pry. It wasn't my place to. Despite the lack of Max and Laura's presence beside me this past summer, I still enjoyed my time here. I was honestly a bit down to be leaving this place.

Branch Selected

Skeptic BFF: Having been best friends with Max and Laura, I knew they weren't okay. With their absence, I grew skeptical of Chris Hackett and his promises.

"Dude, this summer was frickin' epic." I hummed thoughtfully, hands buried in my ripped jean pockets. Emma slung an arm over my shoulder, leaning into my side with a small chuckle, her cocoa eyes wrinkled slightly with her pearly smile.

"Um, duh, because you spent it with me!" I snorted, ruffling my short blonde curls gently as I let my eyes rest for a moment. Deciding to stay kind rather than flirty or cynical, I smiled at her from the corner of my eye.

"Hey, you're pretty damn quick-witted and smart, Emma. Makes being around snot-nosed little brats a helluva lot more tolerable when you're keeping me entertained." I replied, feeling her rest her chin on my shoulder.

Emma is flattered by my response.

"Hm, yeah, I am pretty awesome." Rolling my eyes, I nudged her side gently, coaxing her towards the minivan. "Right, well, why don't you go see if you can find Ryan or something? I'm going to go toy with Jacob before I look for Abi."

"You're tearing his poor heart strings, drama queen." I cooed playfully, grinning as she walked away.

"Yeah yeah. It's just a summer fling." She shrugged, skipping her way towards Jacob and Kaitlyn. Turning on my heel, I proceeded towards the cellar, pleasantly satisfied to find a familiar face leaning against a post with his earbuds in. His eyes were closed as he bobbed his head slightly every so often, most likely listening to his podcast. I made my way to his side and nudged his shoe, causing the guy to tilt his head up to look at me.

I smiled down at him as he removed one earbud, returning the gesture. "Hey, Ryan. Mind if I sit down?" He shook his head and I took my place beside him, legs curled to my chest and head resting on my knees. "So? The podcast?"

His dark eyes lit up almost immediately, lips pulling tight in a genuine, relaxed smile. "Yeah. New episode came out today." I grinned lightly, always warmed when I saw his or the others eyes light up about something they were into. I don't know why, but I'd always found myself with a knack for making others smile.

"That's cool. Been a week, right?" He nodded, and I found myself easily slipping into conversation with him about it. It wasn't hard, actually. I'd always been a pretty charismatic person, finding it incredibly natural for me to come up with things to talk about. To be honest, if I really wanted to I could manipulate people, make them feel or think a certain way. But I wouldn't do that. I wasn't that type of person.

"Yeah. It's a bit of a long one, though, so hopefully it's a really good story." I nodded, closing my eyes. I suppose he took that to mean he could continue listening because after a moment of shuffling, I could barely make out muffled audio from his earbuds. I kept my head buried in my knees for awhile, enjoying the peace and quiet, 'til heavy footsteps made their way over.

Peeking up, I waved at Jacob, whom waved at both myself and Ryan. Ryan, of course, noticed and waved in reply, but didn't do much else. Jacobs eyes flitted between the two of us awkwardly as he shifted his weight before he turned on his heel. I glanced at Ryan and shrugged my shoulders, standing up and dusting my pants off.

Urging myself to follow after Jacob, I trekked up the lodge steps to the front door just as it slammed shut in Jacob's face. "C'mon man!" Jacob huffed, the sound of soft chuckling muffled by the closed wood. Now realizing his predicament, I debated assisting him for a moment. I tapped his shoulder, startling the teddy bear of a guy as he spun on his heel.

"Try the window around the side. Library window is always unlocked." He grinned, ruffling my hair with his large hand, cheeks the slightest tint of pink.

"Thank you, little dude!" I pouted at the nickname he'd never dropped, puffing out my cheeks as he made his way around the side.

"I'm, like, a foot shorter than you, Jacob!"

Jacob is amused by my response.

With a huff, I face the door again, knocking gently. It swung open in seconds, the same dopey grin I'd come to adore greeting me, doe eyes searching my face with glee. "Well, hey there, tiger stripes! Looking to join the cool kids?" I snorted slightly at Dylan's word choice, unable to resist the grin tugging at my lips.

"Oh yeah. Heard the coolest of the cool were here." I decided to play along, hands once again buried in my pockets. "You wouldn't happen to know where I could find them, would ya, kind sir?"

Dylan hummed thoughtfully, placing a hand on his chin dramatically. "Hmm, I dunno. Where could those two super cool dudes be?"

Taking the sight of his much taller frame in, I decided to take a leap of faith. "I've also heard they're the most attractive, if that helps?" His cheeks flushed and his brown eyes flicked back to my grey ones, his smile softer.

Dylan is flustered but pleasantly surprised by my flirtatious reply.

"U-Uh, yeah! Yeah, they're right here, come in, come in!" He stepped to the side, finally allowing me entry. As the door clicked shut behind me, I spotted Nick sitting by the stairs and waved. He smiled back slightly, curling his fingers in a lazy wave just as Jacob entered his line of view. Turning to face Dylan, I found he was already staring at me, my eyes widening for a second at the realization.

"Dyl? Is there something on my face...?" He blinked and flushed again, shaking his head. One of his pale hands scratched the back of his neck whilst the other slipped into his back pocket, chocolate doe eyes flickering away from me awkwardly.

"N-No, sorry. Just got...lost in thought."

"Right..."

"I-I'm gonna go get our phones, so...." Dylan quickly jogged towards Chris' office to gather our phones, disappearing from my sight.

Blinking away the awkward moment, I turned and moved further into the lodge, eying the walls and tables for any random items lying about. It seemed Dylan and Nick did a great job cleaning, though, because I couldn't even find dust under the tables. With a satisfied smile, I perched myself on one of the many benches, fiddling with my long black sleeves as I waited for Dylan to return, suddenly feeling a bit isolated and shy.

Granted, that was my own doing coming in here while the others were busy, but it still agitated me slightly all the same. Lost in my thoughts, I barely noticed the small rectangular paper piece stuck between the floorboards below me. Furrowing my brows in curiosity, I leaned down and plucked the object up, gazing over it with narrowed grey eyes and parted lips.

It was a tarot card, specifically the Temperance card. What appeared to be an Angel in white with red wings rested on its center, a chalice and wine in her hands. It was old, the corners slightly tattered, and appeared to have been lit aflame recently as it's edges were still a faint orange glow.

My head began to hurt and I winced, placing my free palm against my forehead. My vision swam and my ears pulsed with a sound like rapid water, pressure building in my temples. I groaned, head swaying before I abruptly blacked out.

It was dark, the fire lit before me, my friends surrounding me. Jacob tossed a beer can my way, a pocket knife in his outstretched hand. I debated it for a moment as I caught the beverage, then stood and accepted the blade so I could shotgun the beer, pocketing it afterwards.

I gasped as I came to, forcing myself to open my eyes as my hands shook. I'd somehow fallen from the bench, and just now realized that Nick was leaning over me, his hand hovering over my side. His dark eyes were full of concern, searching my pale face for any signs of discomfort or pain.

"Hey? You okay, Carter?" I blinked a few times and nodded, swallowing thickly as he helped me sit upright, his palm warm and firm on my lower back. I grunted and rubbed my temples, the buzzing of the vision I'd seen leaving my mind scrambled. Glancing down at my left hand, brows furrowing again as nothing but a trace of ash left in my palm. "Carter?"

"Y-Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just a dizzy spell." Though he seemed reluctant to accept my response, Nick nodded, gently helping me to stand. I grunted and popped my neck, wiping the ash inconspicuously against my white-washed jeans. My skin was paler than normal and coated in a thin sheen of sweat, my pupils dilated.

Nick is concerned for my health.

Nick, noticing how pale I seemed, opened his mouth to speak, his hand gripping my arm slightly to steady me. Before he could, a familiar head of soft brown locks popped into view.

"Yo! Got the phones!" Dylan greeted, grinning as he waved the case with our phones around. I shot the boy a grateful smile, avoiding Nick's gaze as Dylan gently handed me my phone, the familiar black and blue glittery case comfortable in my hands.

"Thanks DJ." I smiled slightly and pressed the power button, watching the apple logo come to life on my screen.

"No prob, Tiger."

"Thanks man."

Unlocking my phone, I huffed, pouting my lip. "Dammit, no bars. 73% though."

Nick messed his for a moment before nodding along. "No bars, 42%."

"Ah, shit, I'm at 6%."

"Should've turned your phone off, dude."

Dylan scoffed at my words, reaching over to ruffle my blonde locks as he stuffed his phone in his pocket. "Zip it, pipsqueak."

"I'm not that short, dammit!"

Nick and Dylan laughed as I whined and complained, fixing my hair as we made our way outside onto the balcony porch. Dylan leaned against the rail on my right, Nick on my left, and I hoisted myself onto the banister, legs over the edge and my arm resting on Dylan's shoulder. Jacob and Kaitlyn stood below us around the minivan, the former having just recently tossed the last bags inside the crammed trunk.

Dylan, having tossed the box, now held an array of phones—most likely belonging to the others—in his pockets. Nick, however, held a familiar black rectangle in his own hands, a mischievous grin growing on his tanned face. He shared a subtle glance with me, reassuring my disapproving look with a shrug as Dylan spoke to the duo.

"Hey Jacob!"

The tall athlete turned to face us, the relaxed expression on his face quickly falling as his gaze caught sight of the object in Nick's grasp. "Dude, no! N-No, c'mon, please! Don't!"

With a chuckle, the lithe Aussie tossed the object into the air, crying, "Go long!" Jacob scrambled to catch it, fumbling it slightly before his fingers managed to find purchase around the slim frame of his phone. He cheered, holding it up with glee before breaking into a very sexual and lewdly inappropriate dance.

"Boo yah! There it is!"

I groaned and scrambled down from the banister, Dylan's palm quickly covering my eyes which elicited a soft giggle from me. Dylan guided me down the stairs as we joined the duo, his hand still covering my sight.

"Good save, man!" Nick's voice cheered, and Jacob's erotic grunting got louder.

"Oh my god, this sounds so much worse when I can't see." Dylan snorted behind me, removing his palm as Jacob finally settled his behavior.

"Ooh, I wish I had some singles." Dylan yelped as my hand met his shoulder harshly, a blush and a glare on my face.

"Freaks. I'm surrounded by freaks." Kaitlyn exclaimed, completely disgusted by Jacob's behavior.

"No, you're just friends with a bunch of horndogs." Kaitlyn scoffed at my reply, but her unamused expression quickly altered to one of delight as Dylan passed her phone over.

"Oh thank God. I get the whole 'no technology' thing, but take me back world!" Her expression fell as she checked her notifications to find nothing, a groan of distaste leaving her lips. "Oh come on! Not one cell tower!?"

As the two conversed I felt something under my shoe and peeked down. Moving my left foot to the side, I found another card buried in the dirt. Picking it up, I gazed over the tattered surface, examining the image framed across the Strength card. A boy in a hood was hobbled over a wolf, his hands drawing its jaws apart.

The buzzing returned and I faltered, staggering slightly. My vision blurred and my ears popped, my head swaying again. The sound was louder than before, louder than buzzing but quieter than a ringing. It made my ears hurt and I covered them, clenching my teeth.

I held my breathe, back pressed to a boulder with Abigail beside me, hands over each other's mouths. A silhouette clambered above the boulder beside us, it's glowing red eyes searching the earth, snarling as it's saliva dripped against my shoulder and made me shudder.

"Woah, woah! Easy there, Tiger." I yelped, stumbling as Dylan steadied me, his hands on my shoulders to hold me upright as my knees buckled. His eyes and Kaitlyn's searched mine carefully, both sharing a worried glance. "You okay?"

"Y-Yeah, dehydrated, maybe. I'll be fine."

Dylan and Kaitlyn were weary but accepting of my reply.

Jacob's voice drew my attention, along with Kaitlyn and Dylan, whom turned to face him in unison. "Man, you would've thought Mr. H could've charged our phones just a little bit."

"Nothing's ever your fault, is it?" Kaitlyn raised a brow, crossing her arms over her chest.

Dylan, deciding to be his usually quippy self, smirked playfully as he spoke. "You know, you should probably just save it for emergencies only. Unless, of course, is being dumped an emergency?"

I winced at the mention, the memory of that encounter still fresh in mind. Emma and Jacob had been in some form of a friends-with-benefits relationship this past summer. I'd caught them going at it on multiple occasions in the bathhouse, and that's probably why Jacob was always so flustered around me. Though, last night Emma broke it off with him, claiming it was just a summer fling and the long distance wouldn't work. I'd come with her to dump him on account of her complaining how 'she needed moral support', but I rather ended up comforting the big teddy bear afterwards.

I'd honestly felt pretty terrible just witnessing the breakup. Especially since, in my blatant opinion, Jacob was one of the sweetest guys I'd ever met. Personally, I'd have taken the chance and tried Long distance just for him. He deserved that kind of happiness.

Nick chuckled, a taunting grin on his lips, one hand set on his hip. "Burn!"

Though his expression fell momentarily at the mention of Emma, he was just as quick to snap back as usual. "Ah, well, at least I had a relationship this summer."

"Damn, now we burned!"

"Shut up, Nick." I snickered, shaking my head. Dylan glanced at me and flushed slightly, bottom lip extended in a partial pout.

"Yeah, well, maybe not everyone is looking for a hookup, okay? So—"

"Okay, okay! Can you guys put your little dicks away and let's get this show on the road, huh?" Kaitlyn intervened quickly, her sensible and reliable self able to just about smell the testosterone boiling between the two tallest people in our group.

Under my breathe, I mumbled. "I know at least one of their dicks ain't little." Nick, having heard me, whipped his head in my direction with wide eyes and I flushed, waving him off shyly. His expression spoke louder words than I did—'We're discussing this later' he mouthed.

"Where's everybody else?" Nick inquired, changing the subject quickly as he surveyed the lodge interest curiously. His gaze settled on Jacob as he spoke, quirking a brow.

"Wha-Why would I know that?" The tall ravenette inquired.

Nick shrugged, hands in his pockets. "I dunno. Sometimes you know stuff I don't."

Jacob blinked incredulously. "I-I...I don't even know how to respond to that."

Nick's quick wit stayed just as strong as both Jacob's and Dylan's. "You say, 'Nick you're way smarter than me and you're a super hot guy who gets all the chicks he wants.'"

"You may be the most attractive in Emma's cabin, but mine would not have agreed with that statement." I quipped, tossing a playful grin his way. The Aussie stuck his tongue out at me in reply, though he no longer had a comeback in mind.

"Keep dreaming, Junior." Jacob huffed, his tone slightly aggressive. I gave him a shy but awkward smile, but for once, he failed to return it, instead redirecting his gaze to his feet. My heart dropped, turning my head to face the area under the lodge.

"Aaaaanyway..." Kaitlyn once again directed our attention elsewhere after a long silence.

"Do we just, like...wait? Or...?" Dylan spoke, tilting his head.

"Yeah."

"Boringggg." I rolled my eyes at the quirky brunettes complaint, stepping closer to him and leaning my head against his left bicep—goddamn, the guy didn't look it but he was toned.

"Yeah, I need to charge my phone. You think Mr. H would let me pop in and give it some juice before we leave?"

Kaitlyn gave him a baffled look, shifting her weight on her feet. "Why didn't you charge it before we got to camp?"

"I dunno. I figured we'd still have them at camp."

"Why would you assume that at a summer camp?"

"Nobody said they would take them!"

"Even I figured that one out, dude." Jacob added, shrugging his shoulders. The two broke into a small argument and I sighed, moving away from Dylan. Making my way to the trunk of the minivan, I dug through my bag—which was thankfully on top of the discombobulated pile—and retrieved my inhaler, along with its backup. Pocketing them, I made my way to Jacob's side as Emma and Abigail came into view.

"Heyyyyy!" Emma called, sidling up to the group with a dejected-looking Abigail behind her.

"Where are your bags?" Nick asked, just as confused as the rest of us over their unsuccessful mission.

"Mr. H locked them in the cabin already."

Jacob scoffed, eying the blonde with the smallest hint of adoration in his eyes. "Why? To keep out bears?"

"...Apparently." She sighed, shaking her head.

Dylan leaned forward a bit, shifting his weight with a curious glint to his eyes. "Well, why didn't you just...break in?"

Abigail scoffed, gesturing between him and Emma as she spoke. "Okay, because Dylan thinks that would've been a good idea, that confirms we did the right thing." Emma waved her off, obviously displeased with the girl.

"Oof, ow. I like my ideas." Dylan took it in stride despite how underhanded the comment was, shrugging slightly. I hummed and pursed my lips, glaring sickeningly sweet towards the artist.

"Sorry not everyone's a picture perfect goody-two-shoes like you, Blyg." I cooed, grinning sarcastically. Abigail grit her teeth and wrinkled her nose but otherwise said nothing.

Abigail was irritated by my smart remark.

It wasn't really a secret that Abigail and I never got along. We just didn't click like the others did. On top of that, she's quite naive and too obtuse during conversation, often saying things without thinking about them first. She took the 'n' of out of fun, leaving 'f u'.

"Hey, has anyone seen Ryan?" Emma inquired, gazing about the group as she realized one of us was still missing.

"Oh yeah, he's probably off being all broody and mysterious and alluring somewhere." Dylan quipped, the faintest pink tint on his cheeks.

"Your dick runs your mouth a lot, doesn't it?" I teased, the brunette flicking me off as his cheeks darkened.

"I'm here." My grey eyes fell on the dark-skinned counselor I'd spent half my summer with when Emma wasn't around, his earbuds now dangling over the collar of his shirt.

"What're you doing under there? A little 'me' party?"

"Uh...I was listening to a podcast, actually." Ryan answers Kaitlyn's question, somewhat reluctant to express his interest with the group. I smiled reassuringly at him, watching his shoulders relax as he caught my gaze.

"Oh, podcast, that...that's cool." Dylan hummed. He wasn't even interested in the topic, his eyes gazing over Ryan's face almost love struck.

"What's it about?"

"Yeah, what's it about? Is it about me?"

Ryan flicked his eyes over to Dylan, brows furrowed as he missed the flirtatious remark. "You...think I was listening to a podcast...about you?"

"Okay, if anyone had a podcast about themselves, it'd be me." Raising her hand slightly, Kaitlyn nonchalantly expressed her affirmation of her awesome personality, earning a chuckle out of me.

"Yeah, if there was a podcast called 'How to look and smell like a butt'."

"Dylan, you're hormones are showing." He stuck his tongue out in my direction, the girls snickering lightly.

"Shut up, Carter." He groaned.

"No, it's—it's a paranormal podcast." Ryan continued, slowly drawing closer to the group, though still outside the circle we'd formed.

"The one about Hackett's Quarry?" I inquired, earning a look of surprise from Nick and Jacob.

"You listen to it, too?" The former asked.

"Nah. I love listening to Ryan talk about it though. He's a really good story teller." The guy in question smiled at my compliment, slightly flustered.

Ryan was grateful for my display of interest in his hobby.

"It's, uh, called 'The Hag of Hackett's Quarry'."

Perking up at the mere sound of it, a slight buzzing formed in my ears, something like a whisper sending a shiver up my spine. "Why does that sound familiar?"

"You've probably heard it before."

"I'm sorry. The what of whosit what now?" Kaitlyn seemed thoroughly confused, lips parted and brows raised.

"You don't know about 'The Hag of Hackett's Quarry'?" Dylan all but gasped, an expression of dramatic shock on his face.

"Would I be asking if I did, dumbass?"

"Tell her about 'The Hag of Hackett's Quarry'."

Catching on to the playfulness Dylan had acquired, the corner of Ryan's lips lifted. "I don't think she wants to know about the Hag of Hackett's Quarry."

"Can we please just stop saying 'The Hag of Hackett's Quarry'?" Kaitlyn snapped, quickly losing her patience with the two. Dylan's mouth snapped shut and Ryan began to explain.

"It's just this campfire story for the kids. It's um... There's supposedly an old woman who died in a fire a few years back. She haunts the woods looking for her lost baby boy." He started, eyes darting between each counselor to gauge their reaction. "There are like reports of whispers, or whatever, and this figure that floats around... You know, textbook ghost stuff. Some people say that if she catches you alone, she'll try to turn you into her son... or kill you or something, I dunno... It's never really been clear. Anyways. 'Hag of Hackett's Quarry'." It was silent for maybe a moment as everyone let his ghost story sink in.

"Y-You made that up." Kaitlyn looked miffed at her stutter, eying Ryan skeptically.

"It's right here in the podcast, man."

Jacob shot the guy a smile, nodding his head along. "Cool story, bro."

"Yeah, Ryan, that's actually pretty sick, man. You amaze me with those stories, dude." I chipped in, earning a delighted smile in reply.

Ryan was reassured and happy with my response.

"You guys should've seen the kids though. Scared them shitless, I swear." I snickered, sharing a grin with Dylan.

"They weren't that bad..." Ryan mumbled halfheartedly.

"Gotta be careful with that stuff, man. That shits true." Dylan's comment seemed to cause Kaitlyn and Jacob some momentary discomfort, as the former shifted her weight and the other snapped frantically.

"C'mon—dude, bullshit!"

"What's the hold up, Hacketteers?" I yelped at the voice overhead, turning my head to face our coffee-loving, shorts-wearing boss, Chris Hackett.

"Heya—ah, we, uh—w-we're almost done, Mr. H!" Jacob stammered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well, hop to it, kiddos! You're wasting daylight."

Emma stepped forward with a scoff, hand on her hip. "Coulda-woulda if our bags weren't locked up."

Narrowing his eyes on her with distaste, he tilted his head. "What's that? Sounded like you said 'of course Mr. H, we're on it, Mr. H!'"

Abigail, sensing our boss's waning patience, stepped in. "Sorry, Mr. Hackett, but our...our bags—"

"Right. Cabin. Huh."

"We're really bustin' our butts here. Well, except Ryan who's trying to scare the pants off our butts with his weird ghost stories." Kaitlyn added, eying the teen as an after thought.

"Okay, okay, enough with all the butts..." An expression of minor disgust crossed the man's wrinkled brow as he waved his hand. "Eh—and what...what's this about ghost stories?"

"The 'H' of 'H's' 'Q'."

Ryan cleared his throat, head bowed slightly. "'The Hag of Hackett's Quarry.' I was just—"

"Oh for Pete's sake, Ryan." Chris scoffed, disappointment heavy in his tone.

"Hey, dude, lay off. He likes his ghost stories, some sissy kids gotta learn to grow up eventually." I snapped, glaring up at the man hovering on the porch. Ryan glanced at me with temporary relief, whilst Mr. Hackett narrowed his eyes down on me with a grunt.

"Hey, uh—" Kaitlyn stepped in again, sensing the growing tension once more. "You still got the van key, Mr. H?"

I rolled my eyes and turned to face the van, leaning against a tree near its hood as I closed my eyes. The buzzing hadn't gone away, and closing my eyes made my head swim. My left hand came up to rub at my temples, a sharp exhale escaping my nose as I rolled my shoulders. I'd been feeling off for the past week—lightheaded, exhausted, weak—but ever since I'd picked up that first tarot card my discomfort had multiplied tenfold.

I'd always been sensitive to the unnatural or spiritual. My dad used to tell me I was gifted with the sight, more commonly known as being a medium or clairvoyant. I had a knack for sensing danger and sometimes seeing things in my dreams that had yet to occur—the same thing that elicited moments of Deja Vu later on. It usually was pretty relaxed, occurring fairy rarely and otherwise leaving my life as normal as it could get. However, since arriving here my clairvoyance had been going off the rails—whether it be that sixth sense kicking in when a tree was going to fall or a kid was going to get themselves hurt half way across camp, or it was a dream three nights early warning me of a bear in the woods or a coyote sneaking into one of the cabins. I hadn't had a full nights sleep since early July.

Grumbling slightly, I straightened up as Mr. H made his way to the minivan with Ryan and Jacob in tow, surprised I'd been out of it for so long. The man tossed the keys to Jacob, an anxious smile spreading across his face.

Dylan, most likely replying to whatever Chris had just said, huffed out desperately. "I try not to dwell on the past, man."

"Good, cause it's time to dwell on the minivan and get on with our respective lives! Move it, let's go!" Chris urged, waving Jacob into the car.

Baffled by Chris' urgency in trying to make us leave, Emma stepped forward. "Hey, what about our bags?!"

"Oh, Emma. I'm gonna have to ship 'em to you tomorrow first thin—" His indifference to her question irritated the blonde, a scowl on her face.

"Hell no! No. I am not leaving without my—"

"Hey! It's the way it's gotta be." Chris snapped, efficiently convincing Emma to shut her mouth.

"Ugh."

"Come on, Jacob! Start 'er up!"

Jacob turned the key in the ignition, though the only response the minivan gave was a sharp squeal and loud sputtering. Confused, I furrowed my brows, leaning closer to the hood to try and make out where the sound was coming from.

"What's the problem?" Chris' voice had grown more urgent, impatiently moving near the hood, as well.

"Ugh... Dude. I don't know. I-I think there's something wrong with the engine, Mr. H." Jacob hummed. His voice took on a lilt that screamed guilty to me, though Chris seemed too anxious to notice.

"Yeah, I can see that."

"Yeah dude, it's just like... kaput!"

"Alright lemme try." Ryan stepped towards the drivers side, peering at Jacob through the open window.

"What? Dude, I'm telling you, alright, it's busted!"

"Well maybe you're doing it wrong—"

"Duh- 'Well maybe you're doing it wrong!'" Jacob's tone baffled me, my eyes shooting up to glare at him through the front windshield.

"The fuck, dude?"

"Enough! Enough, both of you! Shit." He stepped up to the car, opening the drivers door and tugging at Jacob's sleeve. "Come on, come on let's go."

Stumbling, Jacob stepped out of the vehicle, brushing himself off. "Alright dude, chill! Chill dude." As Chris attempted to start the car, smoke began to seep from the lip of the hood, startling me.

"Uh, Mr. H? Pretty sure it's not supposed to do that..." His eyes widened at my words and he jumped out of the car, dragging me away from the tree I was leaning against.

"Holy smokes! Everybody back, now! No, now, now!" He exclaimed, urging the rest of the group backwards. Jacob, however, disregarded Mr. Hackett's warning and moved to the front of the vehicle, popping it open to view the engine. A blaze had formed near the fuel tank, our eyes widening at the sight.

"Jesus Christ!" Jacob exclaimed, skirting the edge of the car.

"J-Jacob, c'mon, get away from it!" I exclaimed, my heart racing in my chest. I hated fire, loathed it, memories I didn't want to recall lingering at the forefront of my brain.

"I-I got this!" He reached into the drivers side, grasping at water bottle. He ran back to the front of the vehicle and I yelped, darting past both Ryan and Chris.

"Jacob, don't—!" The water splashed over the engine just as I curled my fingers around Jacob's wrist. The flames rose and my back and arm, which were facing the hood, were splashed with oil. A scream left me as my skin burned through the fabric, recoiling closer to Jacob and cradling my burnt arm to my chest. "Fuck!"

"Shit, shit! Are you okay? Fuck!" Jacob cradled my arm in his large hands, blowing cool air on the red skin peeking through the freshly singed hole in my sleeve and shoulder, electing a whimper from me. Chris appeared beside us with a fire bucket in hand, dumping the sand in it over the engine and successfully smothering the flames.

With a heavy sigh, he dropped the bucket to the ground, brows furrowed with distress. "This things toast."

"Well, uh- Look it's not that big of a deal, okay, we'll just spend one more night out here." Jacob quipped after a moment, patting my back lightly as I babied my injured arm with a hiss, resting my head against his shoulder.

"No—NO. Just stop. Let me think." Chris snapped, hands running I've this face as he paced for a moment. Chris slammed the hood with an angry yell, startling me and Jacob. "Arrrrghhh! Okay. Dammit. You're right. You're right, yeah. Yeah, you're right."

"What?" Ryan seemed utterly bewildered with Chris' behavior, brows furrowed as he glanced at us. Chris tossed him the keys to the lodge as he walked past, Ryan successfully grasping them midair.

"Hey Ryan. Come here for a sec." Chris waved the boy over as he clambered into his own car, rolling the window down. Jacob guided me away from the cars towards the others, hand on my back.

"Shit, dude, I'm really fucking sorry, I didn't—"

"It's fine. You didn't know. It's cool. It's cool." I huffed, cutting off his apology. I knew he didn't mean to get me hurt, and it was only a second degree burn. With proper treatment I'd be okay. I was more concerned for Jacob's current emotional status—the guy didn't handle pain and sorrow very well.

I smiled up at Jacob to reassure him when words didn't work, nudging his side with my good arm. "Really, bear, I mean it. I'll be okay." He glanced between both of my grey eyes for a moment before relaxing, his lips forming the tiniest smile.

"Okay."

Jacob is reassured by my kindness and empathy.

"So, what was all of that about?" Dylan's voice drew my attention behind me as Ryan rejoined us, Chris and his car out of sight.

"He uh... said to stay inside. That we're not leaving until the morning." Ryan answered in a slow, uncertain tone, eyes lingering on my burn.

"Are... you kidding me?" Emma scoffed, tossing her hands up with irritation.

"Em..."

"Are you kidding me!? What are we supposed to do?"

"Well, we should go inside. Like he said."

Dylan tilted his head side to side, an inquisitive expression crossing his soft features. "We could go inside. Until morning..."

"Yeah—"

Quickly cutting Ryan off, Dylan smiled mischievously. "Or... Or we could do something else."

"What... are you talking about?"

"No Mr. Hackett. No screaming kids. Just a bunch of grown-ass adults ready to cut loose and get down with their animal side." I deadpanned at this, blinking slowly as I attempted to register what the hell he was going on about. Jacob, however, seemed to both understand and become eager for the idea.

"Ohh, hell yeah."

"P. A. R. T... Why the fuck not!? Alright, it seems like the stars have aligned for us. No?" I sighed through my nose, gnawing at my lower lip anxiously, which did not go unnoticed.

"Okay, okay, okay..." Kaitlyn began to nod thoughtfully, contemplating the tall brunettes offer.

"One last epic bonfire blowout for all time."

"Oh, dude. Fuck yes!" Jacob pumped the air, gesturing to the only Aussie in the group. "I'm in. Nick, you're in."

"Yeah I'm in."

"Dylan's in. Obviously. My man. Kaitlyn?"

After some momentary hesitation and a quick glance around the group, the short Asian woman conceded. "I go where my people need me."

"Yeah! Okay... Em, what do you say?"

"Yeah, I'm in." She grinned, hands on her hips.

"Mr. Hackett seemed pretty insistent we stay in the lodge." Abigail suddenly cut in, dampening my mood further with her voice.

"He was just trying to freak us out. You know, like um... Like one of Ryan's stupid ghost stories."

"Why would he want to scare us?"

Probably because he doesn't fucking like you, Abigail. I hissed in my head, scowling at her from under my long black lashes.

Ryan, looking miffed and uncertain, sighed through his nose apprehensively. "I don't think he was trying to freak us out, Jacob. I think he was really freaked out by something."

"Jesus Christ."

"Chris seemed real serious about this, guys."

Dylan slumped slightly, off put by Ryan's mood dampening behavior. "Just say you're in, man. Come on. One last night. Dude. He won't even know."

"Yeah but I promised, I—"

I had to grab Jacob's arm to stop him from stepping forward with his irritation, encouraging him to just speak calmly. "No no nah, dude, dude. It's all good. Alright, we get it, you know. You, uh... You don't wanna disappoint 'daddy'."

Ryan's eyes narrowed on Jacob and his nose wrinkled at the underhanded remark. "Whatever, man."

Dylan stepped in quickly, attempting to keep the conversation calm. "It's gonna be fine, man. Trust me. It's gonna be chill."

"I'm sure he's just looking out for us. No big deal." Ryan muttered this, mostly to reassure himself.

"Alright. Yeah! Party!" Dylan cheered, grins spreading on the rest of their faces.

"No, I didn't mean—"

Dylan put his hand up for a high five, grinning at the deep-toned male with excitement. "High five—Touch my hand, Ryan."

Ryan hesitated, eying the brunette before glancing at me. I nodded hesitantly, worry still on my mind. With a sigh, he lifted his hand and pressed it against Dylan's. "Alright, fine..."

"But I just want to go on record and say that this is a bad idea."

Jacob deadpanned and shook his head. "Oh my God, dude."

"Ugh. It's gonna be fine, man. Trust me. It's gonna be chill." Dylan did his best to reassure the guy he'd been pinning after half the summer.

Excited once again for tonight's plan, Jacob rubbed his hands together. "Alright, alright, alright, Hacketteers! Party planning committee. Let's do this!"

He gestured to Nick and Abigail, tilting his head side to side. "Um, okay. First things first, Nick and Abi... you go get some firewood. Uh... Emma and I will go to the store for some supplies. And, uh, Dylan, you just... I don't know, figure out how to charge the phones or something..." Dylan and Nick shared a thumbs up with the jock before he clapped his hands. "Alright let's do this!"

Hesitating, I glanced among the group and hit my lip, the buzzing behind my ears urging me to speak up. I could tell them what I'd 'seen' so far—knowing they were likely to listen to it as my clairvoyance was well known—but risk dampening the mood. Or I could keep it to myself and hope that everything would be okay. Besides that, who would I join? Abi and Nick? Dylan, Ryan and Kaitlyn? Emma and Jacob? Or should I find something to do alone?

Wha t would you do?

|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|

Laura Kearney is my best friend and is currently missing.

Max Brinly is my best friend and is currently missing.

Ryan Erzahler is appreciative towards me.

Jacob Custos is concerned for my health and attached to me.

Abigail Blyg is distasteful of me.

Dylan Lenivy finds me adorable.

Emma Mountebank greatly enjoys my company.

Kaitlyn Ka is entertained by me.

Nicholas Furcillo is protective of me and concerned for my mental health.

Travis Hackett has no relation to me.

Chris Hackett finds me reliable but aggressive.

I am alive, sane and burned but otherwise healthy.

Tarot Visions:

Temperance

It was dark, the fire lit before me, my friends surrounding me. Jacob tossed a beer can my way, a pocket knife in his outstretched hand. I debated it for a moment as I caught the beverage, then stood and accepted the blade so I could shotgun the beer, pocketing it afterwards.

Strength

I held my breathe, back pressed to a boulder with Abigail beside me, hands over each other's mouths. A silhouette clambered above the boulder beside us, it's glowing red eyes searching the earth, snarling as it's saliva dripped against my shoulder and made me shudder.

Branches:

•Skeptic BFF: Having been best friends with Max and Laura, I knew they weren't okay. With their absence, I grew skeptical of Chris Hackett and his promises.

[rosadraws]

Hello all!!

It has come to my attention that I have gained some followers after my recent post regarding my Aladdin poster that I made. Sooooo I thought it would be good to introduce myself!

My name is Rosa, I am 17 (soon to be 18 on February 13th) and I LOVE Disney and ANYTHING related to villains (whether that be the Mexican-animated show Villainous, Disney Villains, etc).

Over the past year I have been trying to get out of my hiatus, but with issues happening in my personal life it has gotten very difficult to keep up with my hobbies as well as my social life, mental health, school, etc. HOWEVER, despite the fact that I will not be super active, I hope to kick into high gear whenever time and energy works in my favor. I already have some old drawings that I have yet to repost, and I have some drawings that are finished/near-finished that are almost ready to be posted!

After being on Twitter for many years (RIP Twitter, I shall never call you X), I feel comfortable enough to consider Tumblr one of my new home social media sites. I cannot wait to post more artwork in the future! And please, if you wanna dm me or chitchat my askbox and dms are always open (I may even take some requests if I fancy your offer👀)!

Here is my YouTube if anyone is interested! I will be posting more speedpaints in the future:

So excited to start my journey on here!

[burntoasters]

K soooooooo….

I start a new bar job on Thursday and I….

I don’t know how I feel about.

I mean I NEED the money. My current job is a “farm” that’s not even a farm it’s just a family owned business in someone’s backyard who doesn’t know how to run a business. My days keep getting cut and even though I’m technically the manager, communication is the biggest issue and I am always the last person to know about important things like delivery trucks or trucks that need to be loaded.

My roommate works at the bar and she helped me get the job. And I won’t be working without her at least the first few weeks. And I’ve met the manager and been there a few times so it’s not a new place.

Im just… I can’t tell if this is a manic decision or not? If that makes any fucking sense.

The past week I’ve just felt… weird. I can’t tell if it’s a manic episode or not. Im not doing anything I wouldn’t normally do or making dumb decisions, other than jumping on the bar job.

I think maybe it’s cause I just went for it without thinking it over. And by thinking it over I mean over thinking until I get so much anxiety about it that it makes me physically sick, which I do with most decisions in my life. Hence why I’ve been stuck at the farm job for over two years.

I worry I’m gonna be awkward at first but I just gotta rip the bandaid off. I need to be more social because sitting in my room and rotting in my depression is going to kill me if I don’t do something.

Im also coming up on my 23rd birthday in April which is just… insane.

For somebody who wasn’t supposed to even graduate high school, I never expected to make it to 23. And it’s not like a normal milestone for people like 18 or 21 is. But for me, I never expected to even MAKE IT this far so it just… it’s weird.

Cause on one hand, holy shit I’m gonna be 23!

But on the other…

Holy fuck I’m still here….

[playingplayer2]

Trying to be introspective and I honestly just send myself spiraling. Spiraling where? No idea, just spiraling.

Definitely spiraling lmao

Like, I've dated before. I also spent nine months third wheeling two of my best friends when they dated and then the few weeks before school started again attached at the hip (the divorce was awkward but it took like a week before the three of us went back to relative normal?? we were in high school and we basically spent like, all of our time hanging out w/ just us three) and while it definitely wasn't romantic, very platonic between me and them, it was infinitely more comfortable and functional(?) than any other relationship I've been in before and since then.

(honestly went on better dates w/ them than I've gone w/ any of my bfs or gfs.......... Aish. Well. Eh, had a couple nice actual dates w/ past partners who... Hn.)

Ironically that was around the time when I started to prefer hearing/reading about other people's relationships and becoming curious about polyamory. So. Hm.

I'm well aware that I do have an actual interest in romantic and sexual partners, each to their own fluctuating degrees. I'm also keenly aware of my own personal issues, half my life in therapy said a lot, didn't fix, heal, or help much.

Would probably rather watch (hypothetical) partners than actively participate in most things, sexual or otherwise. I'm both stupidly touch starved and touch averse, and frankly almost worked myself into an anxiety attack last night releasing- rather putting into coherent thoughts- that I expect touch to hurt and, masochistic preferences aside, I fucking hate that.

Also a firm believer in not using your partner to fix yourself and I'm fuuuuucked in the head in some ways lol. Not nearly as nice as my friends say I am either. Mean streak 100 miles wide, I just actively work to not be cruel. Emotionally stunted with more intellectual emotional intelligence than empathy. Blunter than most people like, with an unfortunate side habit of not saying anything at all if I think my opinion would be poorly received. Trust issues almost 23 years in the making and anxious attachment shit. Would rather cook someone a meal than say "I love you." Enough baggage a cargo plane would struggle.

Would probably be happier as a couple's third who gets to take care of them in materialistic and domestic ways more than anything. Granted I'm broke asf, disabled in a way that makes working difficult, and kinda permanently stitched to my dysfunctional family. So. Hhhn. Driest texter in the universe too. Fucking suck at talking. All hn hm mh mm and shit instead of actual words because I don't know how to fucking talk to people at all.

Don't even know how to figure this shit out with the - hello yes it's still a problem, getting worse by the day, folks - ongoing fucking global pandemic fucking shit over in addition to my isolationist tendencies, because it's better to rip away like fucking velcro than to get burned again in my books, spent enough time alone and enough times where people stabbed me in the back to know which I'd pick.

Idk. Maybe I'm just lonely and spiraling because my social battery's been dead for like 3 years now because I haven't gone out with people since everyone else started to abandon masking and treating me like I was absolutely nutters for still masking. And I've always leaned towards being an antisocial, isolating, catastrophizing, pessimist at heart no matter how extroverted I am.

Idk.

[deerblossoms]

i’m deeply fucking cursed. every pen i’ve journaled with in the past month has died. i JUST bought a new pen, used it once, and it’s already dead the next day. what the fuck??????!? like at first, when this started happening, i was joking about a silly little pen curse during the retrograde. now i think it’s me. this used to happen when i was in high school, too. when i was journaling all the time back then. so fucking weird.

kayla and i are on a week and a half break, not talking until the 18th or 20th or so, and it feels okay on my end. i’ve noticed i’ve completely stopped stressing about the relationship. but i’ve also noticed nobody texts me. kinda sucks! really sucks. i’m trying desperately to find people to go see challengers again with and nobody has the time. jack moves back today, finished their first year of college and i’m so proud of them. they’ll be closer next year which will be great. i am making a quick note here to say i’m soooo over the gabby luna sitch that i don’t even feel like writing about it. detaching myself. other people’s lives aren’t my own. and i certainly don’t need to worry about the lives of people who can’t even text me more than once every few months. jesus!

i don’t know. i feel so weird today. i couldn’t get myself up and at em today and spent all morning doomscrolling and watching SATC. yesterday i came home before leaving for work, sat down on the couch to catch my breath, and immediately started crying. couldn’t even figure out why. still don’t know! i’m not doing amazing, i don’t think. i was for a moment, when the cherry blossoms were out, but now i don’t know what to do with myself. i have the day off and i have no clue how to spend it. i might spend it watching tv all day, which i kind of want to do. could watch eternal sunshine and the social network and binge SATC. maybe i’ll put the footage i captured onto my computer. i need editing software so i can do something with it, though. lol! i did just get paid so i could shell out for FCP but i feel as though that’s unwise. is it? i have no clue. i guess maybe i need to just accept the loneliness i’m feeling, embrace it, stop trying to fill it or replace it. stop keeping myself busy and just be lonely, keep my own company. watch a lot of tv.

it’s funny how little i care about something after its time has passed. i was so excited to go see the barbie movie and then i didn’t, and now i doubt i’ll ever watch it. i have no wish to. i finally realized luna and i would never be real friends the way things stand right now, so i’ve stopped caring. javi doesn’t text me so i don’t text him anymore. everything comes and goes. once i know someone’s not interested in me i lose my crush on them completely. i forget about everything, and once i forget, it stops mattering even after i remember. this is actually a conversation i should be having in therapy because i can hear myself kinda spouting BS a little but i’m not sure how to call it on my own. high school was so awful and now it’s a million years ago. everything passes. life is a river and you never see the same wave twice. it’s probably not good for me that i haven’t written poetry in so long. though i remember i used to always say it was a “bad sign if i was writing poetry again”. truth is though, if i’m doing badly i should be writing about it. i’m trying to convince myself to start making art again. fill up my sketchbook with whatever. rip myself from my phone and put my anxious energy into my art. whatever that art is. i just feel so pathetic lately. so nothing. i feel like i could melt away and i would be as much use to the world as a puddle. sometimes i feel like i’m just here to entertain everyone else and i’m not living for myself. everyone loves me, everyone cares about me, everyone’s happy to see me, but nobody wants to spend time with me. nobody reaches out unless i reach my hand out first. nobody even has the time to go to a fucking movie with me. i’m just the eternal manic pixie dream girl. kayla reaches out, i guess. but that’s something else. we don’t have anything to say to each other. when i’m with her i don’t have any passions or dreams or aspirations. i’m just a body next to hers. old wise man with a guiding light when she needs it. and it doesn’t feel good, and it’s not her fault. it’s completely inexplicable.

anyway i’m sad. obviously LOL this is such a depressive pessimistic entry. i’m trying to quit biting my cuticles and i’m not doing well at it. i keep forgetting until i’ve already got the skin half-ripped between my teeth. and by then, might as well. i’m so over begging for company. people can come to me. people can make plans with me. people can do that or i can do things on my own, like always. maybe i want to be alone because i know every book and therapist and person will tell me this is an awful plan. no good to stop trying with other people. but i want to. i’m tired of trying. and i know i’m loved, i know i’m cared about. i’ve just started to feel like a monkey with cymbals in their hands. everyone’s off doing something important with their life, going somewhere, working towards something, caring and living and i’m the little kid on the couch, just waiting till they come home. i don’t feel like my own person anymore. i keep checking my messages, obsessively, looking for that little red dot. WHAT ever. it’s cold out and i finished my coffee and i feel very small.

[thenetvvork]

(cross posting to our DreamWidth)

Lately (last night and today) the subject came up of what was here before The Network. Memories are fuzzy because it deals with us before the age of 9 (so before 2004. 20 years ago and back). Plus it's one of those personal history things that isn't necessarily about accuracy in a historical sense. It's more of a story in the way people tell stories of their histories. Like a myth or folk story. Like somewhere right in the middle of all that. (There is no concrete physical proof from our childhood for this that we know of so it's hard track)

We've talked about this before but The Network has been a social identity. Right now it functions as shorthand for every more than one experience in this body because we're all in The Network. But what if someone (besides Mew) from before that identity solidified came back somehow? There were a few different things going on.

There were The Hordes which were all fictives from the Redwall series. So theoretically, they're the same as us. Fictives. And there was a lot of overlap between both groups, especially early on but even up through high school. I think it's probably good we "won out" against the Hordes in that I really think the way we work allows us to be more grounded in the present moment in this reality. I think for that to happen with the Hordes a real world view shift would have had to happen, a bigger one than any that would have happened with us.

Also within that timeframe we had other fictives too. But they were more few and far between and before The Network so since they weren't in the Hordes they just free floated rip Chester you would have hated The Network. Probably. I didnt ever know you but I think Megan might have

And before that, or maybe at around the same time (see it's hard to track with two fuzzy memories and a paperclip and the memories don't show overlap but logically they had to because past time is finite) we had factives - a completely different type of gain and working than us as fictives. And the only clue to them being factives and not Mew just imagining things is a very specific memory during a summer break where he was trying to ignore them because he thought hey maybe it's weird and time consuming to have imaginary talks with fictional characters people I know from school and writing camp and daycare. Maybe I shouldn't imagine tragedy beset upon their families and then they have to live with me and my family and I see them everyday (we were a lonely child who had attachment issues). And it worked for (in his mind) a month (but given how long time is for a kid probably a lot less than that) but they came back unbidden and Mew was happy to see them again. (To be clear he had also done this same mental process with us a few times but we just. Refused to play along.)

The Hordes truly stopped showing up when we moved out of our parents house and into college in another state. They lived in our parents backyard. They don't show back up when we visit.

The factives, well.... I don't know. I truly never met them. Mew grew out of it I guess. Probably when we were separated from the person they were sourced from for long enough they faded. Megan doesn't seem sure when I ask her when and if that overlap would have been. For one of them it would have to be 1st grade-5th (1st grade being when we met the boy, end of 5th when we stopped going to day care), so ages 5-10? Another was a girl who was in a writing camp with us, so probably also elementary school age. I don't know if it would be before the 4th grade though (that's when The Network solidified). There might have been more. Or the memory is conflating the factives and the fictives. Either the free floating ones or the Hordes.

And to Mew, these are completely different sections of his life. No overlap in his mind. Except the timelines overlap and I know people in The Network talked to people in the Hordes. I was there for that overlap. So his weird perspective isn't helping

.

.

.

All of this to build up to the idea/joke that The Network is built on top of the factives. On top like they're in headmate hell? On top like how a building is built on another building? On top like those new tubs you just lay over the old one? On top like literally if we literally dig down with our hands we'll find them? We just don't know lol

This discussion also alienates Mew as a Network member. The Network kind of solidified Around him. He's the "original" so whoever "won out", he would still be around in whatever fashion. Of course we're all quite happy with him here as he is now but he would be here regardless. Like a force of nature

[clarydesign2023]

My 20 Elements (for the poster)

My bedroom Wall. 

My bedroom wall is a collection of New Zealand artwork that I had ripped out of magazines and brochures to serve as inspiration. I make my art in my bedroom, constantly looking at the walls to get ideas and motivate myself. Physical, tactile inspiration images often stay in my memories for longer and make more of an impact than images on a computer screen.

My collage work (2023).

Collage is a medium that I have been heavily working with since my high school days, as my art teachers would provide me with an enormous resource library of magazines and newspapers in my spare class time. I prefer to use collage to create abstract scenes and landscapes - this one is of a battle between two monsters destroying a city. 

Hannah Hoch.

Hannah Hoch is a German Dada artist who primarily used collage to create works about political and social issues. Her work is very inspirational to me and connects with me deeply as we are both German female artists. My mother showed me Hoch’s work when I was a teenager and have been making collage work ever since. 

Barbie: Her Life and times. 

Barbie: Her life and times by jewellery designer Billy Boy is a book that was given to me by my mother when I was a Barbie obsessed child. The book, which focuses on the designs and history of Barbie’s outfits is what introduced me to and made me fall in love with fashion design at a young age. 

Grimes’  Visions.

This electronic album is the perfect background music for when I’m creating art. Since I first heard it in high school, I often have phases of listening to it on repeat for multiple weeks when I’m working on projects because of its calm, ambient nature. It’s no surprise that the songs from this album always land in my top 5 songs for Spotify Wrapped. 

Tate Modern’s Pop Life.

The Tate Modern put on a pop art exhibition in 2010 that completely changed my life as a creative when I visited it as it inspired me to be more creative and free with my art making and introduced me to great pop artists such as Andy Warhol and Takashi Murakami. I have this book from the exhibition that I often go back to and read when I need inspiration for my artwork. 

Celebrity Tabloid.

As a child I was obsessed with reading gossip magazines and watching celebrity news. The way that celebrities are objectified and exploited by the media is a common topic in my artwork as I feel that the damage that tabloids do to women’s collective mental health is something that needs to be talked about. 

Personal Logotype/Tag.

I developed this personal logotype this year to be used as a signature on my artwork. It is my nickname written in graffiti bubble letters and a cat’s face incorporated into the word as cats are my favourite animal and I thought incorporating this would be a fun and playful touch. 

Personal Pictorial Logo.

I illustrated this face in 2021 to appear in my artwork and self promotional materials. I have screenprinted this face on to shirts and often post variations of this face to my social media accounts. I believe it is important to have at least one image that is memorable to be attached to my “brand” as a creative. 

Digital Camera. 

This digital camera was gifted to me when I was 9 years old and I pretty much take it with me everywhere I go. I believe that photos taken on my digital camera are more special than my iPhone camera because I have captured memories from the past 11 years of my life on this camera.

Manga.

Manga is a huge inspiration to my work, as I have been interested in japanese art since 2010 when I saw Takashi Murakami’s work in the Pop Life exhibition. This series in particular, Tokyo Ghoul, was the first physical manga I ever bought and I taught myself how to draw in the manga art style by copying the panels. 

Feline Companion.

Gingy is the cat who lives at my flat. She often sits in bed watching me make art and has a very calming presence in my life. I have always had a special connection with cats and find that their calm nature has a positive impact on my mental health and state of mind when I’m stressed about creative deadlines.

Wacom Intuos.

The Wacom Intuos drawing tablet is my artistic weapon of choice. Digital illustration has been my primary medium ever since I was gifted my Wacom as a teenager. As long as my Wacom works, I don’t see myself getting an iPad for illustration as I love how easy it is to use and how natural it feels to draw with it.

Sketchbook.

My sketchbook is my secondary weapon of choice after the Wacom. I have made it a goal to buy at least 1 good quality sketchbook a year and fill the entire book out with illustrations within the year to keep my tangible illustration skills up to scratch. I like to use good quality sketchbooks as I can also incorporate acrylic and watercolour painting in my illustrations. 

ZKM Karlsruhe.

ZKM/The Center for Art and Media is the art gallery in my hometown of Karlsruhe, Germany. Every time I visit there, I have to go to ZKM as it has an incredible collection of digital and electronic art and moving image and It is a great way for me to research contemporary art. 

Edgar Degas. When I was a child, one of my favourite books was a picture book about The Impressionists and their work. As I was a child who took ballet, Edgar Degas was my favourite Impressionist and his ballet dancers inspired me to learn how to draw human anatomy which greatly developed my art skills. 

Takashi Murakami. Takashi Murakami, and his 1997 sculpture Hiropon was the most memorable artwork in the Tate Gallery’s Pop Life exhibition. This sculpture and the rest of his work from the exhibition introduced me to the world of Japanese art and design and I don’t think my work would be as playful, experimental, colourful and fun if I didn’t get to be introduced to his artwork at that time. 

My original character (2023). This is a recent digital illustration of my original character named Destinee Foxx. This character is based off celebrities that were written about in tabloids such as Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Pamela Anderson. I often like to draw her in powerful poses or holding weapons as a symbol of female strength and power.

My original character (2020). Pictured is my first painting of Destinee Foxx in 2020, when I was starting to become heavily interested in feminism and the media’s treatment of women. Making this painting is a special memory for me as my girl friends and I sat in a circle around a giant canvas and collaborated on a collective painting, and Destinee was my contribution. 

My digital artwork (2022). This artwork was one of the first works that I ever sold. I put it into an exhibition and put it up for sale for $300. I sold it as a painting, but I made a digital version of it so I could keep it forever as I was very proud of myself for creating artwork that somebody would want to purchase.