#rip my $3.99

[noirgasmweetheart]

Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to lay to rest the $3.99 that I blew renting "the Constant Nymph" on YouTube.

Who knows what that four bucks could have become, had fate been kinder? A Reese's Big Cup? A triple cheeseburger from McDonald's? An IronStrange sticker from Twin Cities Con? A pet rock from a thrift shop? An over-priced Frappuccino? The possibilities are endless, the lost potential infinite.

(Cue bagpipes).

Spoilers below

I knew the movie wasn't good, but I had at least hoped to get some screencaps of the elegant outfits, and some clips of Peter Lorre being sexy. I've never had trouble taking screencaps or recording clips from YouTube rentals in the past. But someone really doesn't want me sharing anything from this movie.

Possibly because of the pedophilia.

Yes, this "romance" is about a tween girl in an overall dress and pigtails lusting for a 50-tear-old pimp, and briefly her 80-year-old uncle. And the 50-year-old pimp lusts for the pigtailed preteen dressed like Ragedy Anne. The pimps wife, rather than be horrified for her (I think) child sister, is instead just jealous. While Lady Slut and Mini-Slut spar over Count Geezer, Peter Lorre glides in thr background like a raven, alternating between looking sexy and looking dismayed.

"When I did this in 'M,' all the crooks in the city organized an epic manhunt, stuffed me in a bag, tossed me down a staircase, put me on trial and tried to execute me. But when a rich asshole does it it's 'romantic?'"

Alright I'll admit it, I didn't watch the whole movie. I skimmed around. Even without the gross pedo plot, it's just boring as balls to me. But God damn, there were so many cool outfits and hairstyles and cool rooms I wanted to screencap. And I wanted to clip PL's scenes to share with the fan base.

"Why are so many of my most attractive roles in my worst movies?"

The movie ends with a tragic death. The death of my $3.99. I think Mini-Slut also dies, from boredom maybe. Oh, spoiler.

Ok Charles Boyer isn't really a "geezer" at this age, he's actually a pretty attractive older man...EXCEPT in this movie, where he absolutely IS a geezer compared to his love interest who resembles a freaking Powerpuff Girl.

Great, now I'm seeing this gross movie retold in my head with the Professor and Bubbles in the lead rolls, Ms. Bellum as the jealous wife, the Mayor as the monocled uncle, and Mojo Jojo as Fritz, just channeling the audience's reaction.

[bunnyb34r]

Glad to know my coworker friend who works in THE BACK of the store in recieving hates the stupid animatronic skeletons as much as I do. Like at least theres other noise in recieving to block it out, i just have the skeletons singing and NewLady HUMMING ALONG WITH THEM ALL GODDAMN DAY

Coworker friend: I know they're already dead, but I'm gonna kill em again! One way or the other I'm stopping that bullshit.

Like yknow... you could forcibly liquidate them 👀 you do have that power 👀 I'm just saying

[bomberqueen17]

sketchy grocery store shit: a very middle-aged rant

Man so. I went to college in Rochester and so I did my first I'm An Adult Shopping For My Own Groceries shopping in a Wegmans. I got used to the way the store works, how things were laid out. And of course, i got a Shopper's Club card.

I still have it somewhere, use it occasionally, but I had to get another one when I misplaced it because they asked what phone number it was tied to and like, man, it was a Rochester number with a 716 area code, that's how long ago it was. (It's 585 there now.)

I got conditioned to try the Wegmans brand generic for whatever brand name thing I was buying, because it was often the same, and was cheaper. (Though, RIP to the old Wegmans box mac n cheese, they enshittified that in 1999 once we were all good and hooked and we all mourned and switched to Annie's and never looked back. Maybe it's better now but I don't rely on that stuff the way I used to.) I got conditioned to always swipe the card because sure they were collecting data on you but in a $70 trip I'd save five bucks easy, it wasn't nothing! And I also learned to look for their Family Packs, which were larger containers of the same item for less per unit-- if it was something not that perishable, or something you could get through, it was worth spending a little more now to stretch it later!

Anyway. I went to Wegmans yesterday, I live in Buffalo now and we have them here too, and we have a rotation of grocery stores we patronize but when I do the shopping, I'm still the most used to Wegmans, I know where stuff is, and I knew some of the stuff I wanted, they'd be the ones to have. (The organic co-op doesn't carry Doritos and sometimes in the doldrums of winter a bitch needs some of that poison, y'know?)

I'd noticed before that the Shoppers Club isn't a savings thing anymore. I didn't have my own card for one visit and the cashier went to great lengths to get me a swipe from a manager, and at the end I'd spent $200 and saved.... fifty cents.

This time around I'd taken advantage of a buy one get one deal to get a second box of something I didn't really need a second box of, only to discover it was buy one get a dollar off the second, so I saved a whole dollar and actually spent three I hadn't needed to. Well, whatever. It's not perishable and I'll eventually go through it.

But the other thing I noticed was the wild price swings by different packaging of the same item. I should've taken pictures. But like-- ok, raw baby spinach. I fucking love spinach. They had a smaller bag and then next to it they had a Family Pack. I hesitated-- it is hard to use up leafy greens but I fucking love spinach and I could make the effort-- and then I looked. I can't do math but fortunately they are required by law to have the price per unit breakdown on every price sticker. Because the small bag of spinach was $1.99, and was $3.99/lb. (A pound of spinach is a lot.) The Family Pack next to it? It was $3.99, which seemed like a good price jump. But on the per-item breakdown, it came out to $7.99/lb. It didn't actually have any more spinach in it. It was just a different-shaped bag and cost more. For no reason. And there was a whole shelf of the larger bags, and only a small display of the smaller ones. They're just expecting people, conditioned like I am, to say "ah i can use more spinach i'll take the savings" and buy the more expensive bag. But I did just do the math (which is difficult for me so you know I'm mad about this) and that is literally the exact same amount of spinach for twice the price.

Similar for stew beef but they went too far with it, it wasn't even plausible. There was a large pack for forty-nine dollars and I didn't even look to see how much was in it because i do not have forty-nine dollars for stew beef, I found a one-pound bag for $8.99. But I had this same issue before, and was more persistent last time I went: you can buy a three-pound chuck roast for $7.99/lb, which is a chunk of change but it's a lot of meat, and cut it into stew beef yourself and save some money that way, but I just knew I did not have it in me this week to cut up yet another chuck roast when I got home. (Full disclosure: i wasn't even looking at the grass-fed organic shit this was just regular USDA whatever Meets Regulations And Is Legal To Sell shit.)

Stew beef is supposed to be the trimmings and it is supposed to be cheap. But they have realized people prefer it, more recipes call for it because it was historically cheaper, and so they have marked it up and it is more expensive than the whole roast. Because most cooks reading a recipe are not going to necessarily know why it calls for stew beef and that they could substitute a superior cut if the price wasn't good.

I am aware that buying the pre-marinated individual convenience cuts is historically where they make their profit and I don't begrudge them that; if that's what I was shopping for I would not be that mad about paying $7 for three cents worth of marinade ingredients, because it is much easier to cook something like that with the attached recipe and because a lot of the markup is the labor costs in putting all that shit together. I don't begrudge them that at all and when I'm paying for it I'm well aware that I am.

But I really do resent how much of the price-gouging is happening by abusing the patterns of behavior they conditioned us into. I learned, twenty years ago, to look for the deals and look for the bulk packs, and now I am being punished for having learned that. I don't mind paying a premium for something I know is a convenience fee, but being charged extra for my formerly-thrifty shopping habits really stings. I shouldn't have to exercise constant vigilance in the fucking grocery store, it's stressful enough to be the only masked person in there and now you have to compete with the huge carts they use for the online ordering peeps that take up a lot of the aisle.

Maybe it's easier to do the price comparisons on the website?

Oh and there are a number of products they now only carry the Wegmans generic for. (You can't get Snyder pretzel bites anymore, and the Wegmans version doesn't come in quite the same flavors, so I have to go to Dash's to get those now.) And still others where the Wegmans version is pricier. And, alas, some where the more expensive Wegmans version is better. (Polly-O string cheese, why are you so bland?? You're a snack baby. The Wegmans generic has salt in it and is a ton more pleasant to eat.)

IDK I don't have a thesis here it's just that being alive in the 2020s is way harder than being alive in the 2000s even though I was poorer then and didn't know shit. I don't miss my youth and I super don't miss George W Bush but I miss when I was figuring stuff out and it seemed to make sense. And I sorta miss when the Wegmans cashiers used to wear t-shirts bragging about how highly-ranked Wegmans was by whatever organization that was that ranked how good places are to work for.

Also, they try to steer you to use the self checkouts, but baby if you have more than two shopping bags' worth of stuff in your cart you had better wait in however long that line is to let a real human put it into bags for you because the self-checkout does not have any mechanism for you to remove and replace a full shopping bag from the bagging area. I told the cashier how much I appreciated him because he wasn't screaming at me, and he was like yah those self-checkouts yell at you a lot.

(Every Wegmans cashier for twenty years has been super nice. I doubt they're in a union, I wish they were.)

Yeah yeah this is the most middle-aged thing I've written yet but I'm in physical therapy and just bought a recliner for the ergonomics so I'm clearly grappling with my own mortality here, and I'm writing this partly out of concern for the kids who are where I was in 2000. What the hell are they being conditioned to do, by all this????? Shit, man.

[poutpoutlilith]

Okay so concept. We’re by now readily familiar with using hypnosis with a lee as a subject, and all that can entail. However, I find myself curious about something where the exchange of power is perhaps more peculiar and loops itself back around. This is inspired by a fantasy I had of one of my lers/tists.

What if the lee hypnotized the ler? What if, over the course of time, a trigger was planted in the ler’s mind? Perhaps the jingling of a certain charm on a key ring. Perhaps a certain innocuous word or phrase. Yes, I like that. An innocuous little word.

When the ler hears it, something deep and primal breaches their mind and steals their conscious attention. They look at you, having heard this sacred signal you have given them. Their fingers itch with a hunger. They demand to hear your laughter. Your ler would love to feed them.

They boil over and begin their sprint to close the gap between you. You are encased in their voracious love and descending arms as they begin their attack at your midsection. You have given them a ruthless hunger for your ticklish suffering, and they seem to have been rendered temporarily unaware of the broader concept of mercy.

Wouldn’t a trigger like that be fun? Hypnotizing someone to tickle you? All you have to do in a lee mood is say something innocuous and get wrecked right where you once stood in dignity. Moreover, you and your ler/subject might just be going about your day together. Perhaps you’re shopping for groceries. Just as your ler asks if you think it wise to go for the “3 for $3.99” deal on some boxed candies, the back of their mind overhears someone in an adjacent aisle say the word. They drop the box in their hand and rip exasperated laughter from the cavity beneath your sensitive flesh until their fingers feel full. What a wonderful and ticklish life you get to live.

[deadboyswalking]

World Heroes Mission Review

On a much meaner note, WHM was NOT worth destroying My Villain Academia and making season 5 into a confusing mess. For starters, the fact that they're Endeavor's interns is completely irrelevant to the plot as many other students were paired with random heroes. Speaking of heroes, we saw some cool designs but none of the foreign heroes are developed at all, just stuffing more faces into an already bloated movie.

The plot was borderline incoherent and jumped from plot point to plot point without logic. For example, they open with the Humanise cult committing genocide, introduce the mission, raid a base, introduce Rody Soul and his problems, go grocery shopping, have a LONG chase scene, and Deku is accused of mass murder ALL WITHIN THE FIRST 20 MINUTES OF THE MOVIE INCLUDING THE OPENING SONG.

That is way too much plot for such a short time and the rest of the film's pacing is also awful. The middle drags, badly, with various unimportant minor skirmishes with undeveloped goons and an extended road trip sequence, and then the end just sort of... happens. Oh boy, Deku punched a guy really hard again. Smash or whatever. Yawn.

The original villain was so unremarkable that I had to look up his name to even write this (Flect Turn). To be honest, most of Humarise's philosophy and this character's personality felt like a less developed/memorable rehash of Overhaul. Also, I feel like you really shouldn't make a villain whose motivation is "my Quirk is traumatizingly dangerous and society rejected me" when that obviously leads to a direct comparison with the most well-developed character in the whole series (Shigaraki). If we're talking about "my parents were scared of my Quirk," well, we already have Toga's backstory for that, don't we? To be honest, the only villain in the movie that I found truly memorable were those freaky snake twins that Katsuki fought in the best scene in the movie, though the big guy Shouto fought was okay too (even though tbh, he's just Rappa/Muscular/Chimera/etc. all over again. Tbh, he seems like a rip-off of Lobo from DC comics).

I liked Rody well enough. His care for his younger siblings is admirable and I liked his chemistry with Deku. I think his Quirk is dumb though, like it's just The Golden Compass' soul animals or whatever. Having seen the movie, I heavily disagree with the take that it's a sentient separate being like Dark Shadow.

Finally, trying to fit this movie into the canon story is nonsensical. YOU MEAN TO TELL ME that all of the top heroes in Japan and most hero students were literally out of the country for a solid week or two and the League of Villains did NOTHING but vibe? And before you say "oh that was when they were still busy fighting Machia in the woods," that's impossible because Endeavor already has his scar and Dabi was warped directly to Deika the morning after the High-End Fight and his meeting with Hawks to meet up with the rest of the League. Even beyond that, surely SOMEONE at the Quirk-supremacist PLF mansion would know and be concerned about the Trigger attacks by a well-publicized Quirk-eradication international doomsday cult. Like, doesn't Skeptic have eyes on the entire world? I feel like forced Trigger attacks would be a huge issue to them! The existence of Trigger in general should be a way bigger deal than it is in the series.

So, in summary, the movie was a total waste of the $3.99 I spent to rent it. Don't waste your time or money, just watch a Youtube compilation of Bakugou and Todoroki's scenes and you'll have seen everything worth watching in the movie. ⭐️⭐️/5

[angiestown]

tons of cake orders today, one of those days where I know I won't get anything else done because there are so many orders. almost every order was for pickup at noon, so I sort them by what types of icing and colours they use so I can do all the similar ones together to get through them faster.

10am customer calls "is my cupcake order ready to pick up?"

of course this is the one I've designated as last to do. "not yet, but I can do it next and have it done in 15-20 minutes :)"

"thanks I'll be right over!"

customer shows up at noon anyway.

then a few minutes later the person from self checkout brings it back and says the customer didn't want it after all. whatever, they're cute cupcakes so I just decide to repack them into 6 packs and put them out on the shelf. I go to open the box and turns out the customer ripped off the $31.99 price tag and tried to replace it with a $3.99 tag that they ripped off a pack of cinnamon buns. BUT the bar code for the $31.99 sticker was still fully intact and not covered by the new sticker, so when they got to self checkout it read the correct bar code so they bailed and left their cupcakes behind. the cinnamon buns with the missing tag were nowhere to be found in the bakery, so they probably hid them behind something in one of the grocery isles

[allthingsdarkanddirty]

99c First and Limited Time Only! Sllik by USA Today bestselling author, Esther E. Schmidt

A gripping, suspenseful, standalone biker romance novel filled with banter, tension, and chemistry. Be sure to snatch the eBook up quick before the price flips back to $3.99 December 14, 2023

Get it here: Amazon US: https://amzn.to/34JoRDz

All platforms:  https://books2read.com/Sllik

SLLIK - I’m the President of Razing Muck MC. I took the gavel from my father’s dead hand when I was barely nineteen years old. I’ve been wreaking havoc and retribution to avenge my father’s death for the past ten years, leaving the best for last. Or so I thought because some chick manages to single-handedly rip away the ability to seek my long-planned vengeance.

That leaves only one final solution for the both of us; her life is in my hands.

Add to Goodreads:

[shop-korea]

BOX VAULT - SELF STORAGE

SHARED BLDG - SAME - YES

PARKING - ACCESS - 6A/10P

24/7 - ACCESS ADD - $24.99

NO INSURANCE - $11 - YEAH

THE - WHARF - DRINKS AND

BOTTLES - HAPPY HOUR - A

BAR - NEXT 2 MIAMI - RIVER

A - LANDMARK - UGLY DEEP

DAYS - UNTIL - 3A - ALSO 1A

STARTS - 4P - ALSO - 12P SO

GREAT - MUSIC - LOUD TOO

B 4 - 10P - THE WHARF - YES

USES - OUR - PARKING - LOT

VALET - PARKING

PARKING - 'TIME - SHARING'

SW NORTH RIVER DR

CROSS - SW 2 ST

OTHER SIDE - FR - OUR BLDG

SAW - TENTS - BELONGS - TO

A COUPLE - OR - BLOND GIRL

LARGE - DOG - GIGANTIC -

PLANTERS - REAL - NICE -

NEXT - 2 - PARKING - LOT -

WHITE - SERVICE - CARS -

FLOOR - REAL NICE NOT -

REGULAR - CEMENT YES -

SIDEWALK - LIKE HOTEL -

GROUND - TILED FLOOR -

2 NIGHTS AGO - GIRL ME -

SAW - PUBLIC - LIBRARY -

SHE - GAVE - ME HER XO -

SPOT - SW 2 AV - CROSS -

SW 2 ST - CARS ALL YES -

HRS - MALE - LOOSERS -

HISPANIC - ENGLISH FL -

SPEAKER - 'I'LL - B SAFE -

ON - THAT STREET' - I'LL -

BET - DOMINICAN - GIRL -

SHOWS LOTS OF BREASTS -

HIS - ROUTE - THIS - AM AT -

3:35A - UMBRELLA FACING -

ME - TRIPOD - PRIVACY - HE -

ALL HISPANICS - 'CRAZY -

FR - PHILIPPINES' - THEY -

WORK - TOILETS - TOXIC -

DEATH - WORK GARBAGE -

METROMOVER - MAIDS -

HOUSES - HOTELS INNS -

LOUSY WORKERS - NOT -

VERY - CLEAN - SO - HE -

WANTED - 2 - TALK 2 ME -

3:35A - PASSED - BY - TO -

SEE - ME - SLEEPING XO -

UNDER - TARP - FOREIGN -

BLK - GIRL - LIKE - ALL AS -

THEY - TALK - OUTLOUD -

OF - INJUSTICE - ANGRY -

TALK - 4 - HRS - TONIGHT -

TRANSFERING - RAINS -

ME - UNDER - TARP AS -

ROSS - DRESS - 4 LESS -

SELLS - BEST - TARP -

$3.99 - $4.99 - $5.99 -

WATERPROOF - AND -

TEAR - RESISTANT 2 -

CORRECT - AMAZON -

WAKMART - EXPENSIVE -

NOT - WATERPROOF ITS -

ROSS - TARP - REPELS -

WATER - $3.99 - QUITE -

GOOD - MOVING THERE -

TONIGHT - DOMINICAN -

REPUBLIC - GIRL - SAID -

TENT - ALLOWED THERE -

MON - FRI - 09 JUN 2023 -

THAT - SIDEWALK BEING -

CLEANED - SANITIZED -

WILL - SMELL - GREAT -

R SIDE - 2 - EAT THERE -

RIVER - VIEW - MISSING -

SEE THRU - LAKES - OF -

LAKE TAHOE - NORTH CA -

CALIFORNIA - FORGOT MY -

ORDER - 80 WATTS - FOOD -

MAKER - GETTING - NOW -

BEACH - YESTERDAY - AS -

WINDS - STRONGER 3:30P -

MORE - SO - 5:30P - WHEN -

NOT - 2 - LEAVE - MIAMI -

BEACH - 3P - 3:30P - FOR -

TRAFFIC - HEAVY - BACK -

2 - DOWNTOWN - MIAMI -

OTHER - SIDE - EMPTY -

120 MAX - 2 - AVENTURA -

DISPLAYS - BEACH - MAX -

40 MIN - EXACT - R SIDE -

CLOSE - ROSS - DRESS 4 -

LESS - TOP - FLOOR -

LEAVE 6:30P - BUS S -

NOT - 5P - 5:30P - ON -

SINDAYS - HISPANICS -

ILLEGALLY - WORK FL -

DAILY - 5 DAYS - USA -

WORK - LAWS - THUS -

PRAYED - CAME 2 THE -

UNDERLINE - CALLED -

TEXT NOW - RECEIVED -

REPLY - YES

HOPED - GOT - FEMALE -

PILIPINAS - 02 JUNE THE -

RETURN - WINDOW - I YES -

COMPLAINED - NEAR - TIE -

RIPPED - STRAIGHT - LINE -

OPENING - BOUGHT - TAPE -

2 - REPAIR - WORKED - BUT -

YESTERDAY - BEACH - WELL -

RIPPED - TOP - IN - HALF -

EDGES - 2 - CAME - OFF -

TAPED - ALL - LAST WEEK -

SAME PARK - TRIPOD AND -

UMBRELLA - FLEW - HOW -

EMBARRASING - APPROVED -

ME - QR CODE - FREE - BOX -

LABEL - EVERYTHING - ME -

GETTING - AMAZON - CARD -

OVER - $68 - 2 TO 4 HRS AS -

SOON - AS RECEIVED -

GETTING - TENT - $5 -

COUPON BOX VAULT -

OVER $46 - EXCITED

[manda-kat]

Goodwill coming in clutch! Got a dragon book for a dollar! This book has a lot of super cool images made with CGI to give almost a Discovery Chanel vibe. I actually read this book as a kid and was convinced the dated CGI was actually real photography and that dragons were real the whole time. It's a super nostalgic read and I hope someday my own kids read it and are also fooledbinto thinking dragons are real.

Blanket and earbuds from one of the flights we took. After being stranded in San Francisco I made it my mission to spend as much of United Airline's money as I could. I took every complimentary handout and I absolutely know they just repackage these blankets, so it came home with me so they have to replace it. I also took the earbuds because why would they want these back? I did take every pair offered to me even though I had a growing collection of them in my backpack, but somehow I only found one pair when I came home. I'm interested in seeing how long they last. The audio quality sucks, but that's to be expected. I honestly could have done a lot worse to this airline. I didn't even grab extra bags of pretzels. They got off lucky this time. If they strand me again, I will find a way to steal every blanket they own. (Honestly I'm pretty sure they don't mind people taking the blankets. Most people on the plane with me wore them around their shoulders off the plane and nobody tried stopping me when I carried it off very obviously. I like mischeif but I'd rather not actually break rules and land myself on the no-fly list. I'm still never gonna buy a ticket from that airline though.)

A baby pineaple guy from the Dole Plantation! He my baby! I love him so much.

A final pin freaturing a cute dancer. This one was my cheapest pin, I believe, at only 3.99. It was at the Honolulu airport. The cashier was actually legally blind and his register was modified to describe the items he scanned and their price. He was pretty chill and it's cool to see a cashier actually having their job accomadate them. Miracles do happen.

And that's it! As far as I can remember, that's every souvenir I found at Hawai'i! Honestly I got really lucky finding so much great stuff and my method of buying a lot of cheap things rather than one or two big things felt more rewarding. I spent the most on my Texas sweatshirt than anything else. And that was only 20 bucks. With everything combined my spending was a bit... egregious (especially since I'm not including my food, hotel, concert, flight and tour tickets) but I feel like I didn't go too far overboard.

What do you guys think? Anything you would buy if you visited Oahu? Anything you think I got ripped off on? What's your favorite thing?

Souvenir Role Call!

I'm home! I'm sleepy, but as promised, I'm gonna show you guys everything I got. I ended up with lot of items, but honestly a lot of these were either free gifts or my mother bought them for me. Also, I'm more a fan of cheep thrills. I'll include prices if I can remember them. Now let's a go!

The first thing I got was this San Francisco pin. It was 5.95. I had a lot of options of tourist attractions to choose, but since I didn't see any of those on my doomed trip to San Fran, I just got a liscense plate. I saw plenty of those.

(The next things will not be in chronological order. I'll post them in order of what I unpacked first so I can sort through them easier.)

This mermaid doll was from a store called Kawaii Kawaii Hawaii, which is the cutest name for a Japanese/Hawai'ian shop. (There is a LOT of Japanese stuff in Hawai'i. Apparently more Japanese Americans live on Oahu than Native Hawai'ians or White Americans) It had a bunch of nick nacks but I was enamored by this mermaid. The doll is super cheap and feels like a rip-off of a more popular brand, but her face is so cute! Her hair's pretty natty though when you look closely. She was fifteen dollars, which is hard to find a basic doll for nowadays, so I'd consider it worth it since I had never seen a doll like this before. Then literally two doors down we found a store selling these exact mermaid dolls, but with added angel wings for the same price. I wasn't about to buy two, but I was tempted.

A seashell lei given to hotel guests at the Waikiki Sunset. It was a nice pistachio green hotel only a few blocks from the beach. The people were super nice and the amenities were pretty good. I've been at a better hotel, but that one was because I had a discounted rate on the room, so this was a great option. I really wanted to stay at the pink palace just because of how cute it looked, but that was out of the question. It was very closeby though and I was able to see it when we went to the beach. The pistachio palace ended up being just right.

At the Polynesian Cultural Center I found one of these wooden frog guys. I think he was seven dollars or something. He's one of the frogs that you can run a stick down his spine to make a lovely noise. What I didn't know is that he makes every sound echo. The hollow body means that even gently bumping the side with your finger will make a dreamy little sound. A fine addition to my frog collection.

Not really souvenirs, but hey look. Wristbands. Perfect to say I'm gonna put them in a photo album and then forgetting to do so.

I got this pin at the ABC store. It was about five dollars. The lady at checkout was surprised to see it and told me a lot of people were looking for this one specifically and she thought they sold out. I can't imagine that considering how many of these I saw.

Dole Whip pin! In Hawai'i if it can be flavored with pineapple, it will be. The ice cream was good, but I feel like it was a bit overhyped. There was a line out the door for it and honestly I feel like it might have just been the summer vibes making everyone crave ice cream. I would definitely have another bowl if someone offered. I had the soft serve, so I'm not sure if there's a more popular way to prepare it that makes people go wild, but it was definitely good.

We shall be continued with more photos in a bit! Stand by!

[auxon]

watching troy. 8 minutes in and it sucks

[cupids-blush]

anime: Stop!! Hibari-Kun

song: Love Me Like That - Leadley

I finally caved and payed the $3.99 to get the editing app watermark removed - a year later

i made a handful of others with all of the clips I’d collected (frighteningly many, rip my storage)

[autisticandroids]

Okay so this was a while back but im preety sure you had mentioned an au of yours where dean is a serial killer and cas successfully stalks him but i don't think you talked about it more than that and i just really want to hear a bit more bc that idea sounds so tastefully fucked up

okay so. weeks later i finally end up answering this ask. it inspired this post btw. anyway spn is a show that's like. all about justifications, as i said in the post inspired by this ask. it's about having no choice and doing what you have to do. and like there is the phantasy embedded in it, a phantasy that is both indulged and punished. but most importantly it's justified. the monsters are super strong to show how brave our heroes are for fighting them, the main characters let out great wails of grief every time their lady loves are violently ripped from them (even though now they are free to do whatever they want), the narrative twists to show our heroes as correct whatever they do. the fantasy (of being allowed to enact violence, of being free from feminine "control," of being right) comes first. the material construction of the universe of supernatural comes afterward. whatever the fantasy is, the universe of supernatural will provide material conditions to justify its acting-out.

and what this means is that our protagonists, dean in particular, are constantly doing just horrific things, which in any other circumstance would be unconscionable. but the universe of supernatural provides justification for these acts. the point of my serial killer au which i think about so so so much is to ask the question: what if these justifications melted out from under their feet? what if dean was left holding nothing but a lie and the weight of everything he's done?

therefore, the premise of my au is such (under the cut because this baby is long):

john and mary winchester, in the mid seventies, joined a doomsday cult known as the men of letters. the men of letters were rather unusual for a doomsday cult, in that they believed that the apocalypse could be prevented by human behavior. this started as correct living, correct worship, yadda yadda, the kind of behavior and thought control that cults are known for, but with the justification of: if you don't do this, the world will end. eventually, this escalated to human sacrifice. the men of letters managed to untraceably kill two homeless people in the late seventies. but they eventually fell apart. however, a month after john and mary left the men of letters (mostly john's choice, mary still believed), mary died in a house fire. john took it as a sign from god that actually, the men of letters were right, and the world would end unless john himself did something about it. so he took some of the (intensely numerological) theology of the men of letters. and he worked out his own formula. and he applied it to the yellow pages. and started ritualistically killed people to prevent the apocalypse, with his two sons in the back of the car.

now, obviously, this is some kind of grief induced temporary madness on john's part, shaped by the mental abuse he suffered in the men of letters. but the thing is, once you've killed a couple of people to prevent the apocalypse. well. there's this thing called the sunk costs fallacy. john wasn't gonna question his own beliefs after that.

and he raised his boys to believe it, too, or at least he raised dean to. they didn't tell sam what they did until he was twelve, and sam didn't buy it, tried to call the cops on them several times but in the end, they always prevented him. eventually sam ran off to stanford, where he now lives under a cloud of guilt that he's too loyal to his family to rat them out.

john died a few years back of a heart attack, but dean is convinced it's because he messed up a ritual two weeks before it happened, so it pushed him further into this belief system.

dean's killings (and john's before him) are ritualistic and distinctive, obviously the same killer each time. but they happen anywhere in the united states, seemingly at random, there are inconsistent amounts of time between each one (sometimes as short as days, sometimes as long as years), and there is no particular victim profile. obviously, since our killers are following an arcane mathematical formula to make their choices for them, but the police don't know that.

castiel novak is an unemployed shut-in with a small inheritance which he's living off of, a cryptography degree, and an obsession with all things morbid. he spends most of his time on the reddit true crime forums, playing amateur sleuth. by complete chance, he happens to recognize one of the symbols frequently used in corpse displays by the so-called sioux falls satanic slaughterer (so named because the first time three of his victims were in the same part of the country, it so happened that they were all in sioux falls, south dakota. this was in the late eighties.) as being mostly only used by a little known cult group called the men of letters, which dissolved in the mid eighties.

he only notices this because, as a teen, he had a special interest in cults and fringe religious groups. the men of letters weren't a particularly notable or well known phenomenon; they were small, and a lot like every other cult that formed during the seventies cult boom. (no outsider ever heard about the human sacrifice; there were rumors, of course, but they were garbled, sensationalized, and mixed up with satanic panic fodder.)

(the men of letters' two sacrifices were nothing particularly romantic or fantastical. they first lured panhandler josie sands back to their compound with promises of food and a warm bed when she admitted she couldn't get a bed at a shelter, and was thinking of getting caught shoplifting just so she could be under a roof in the county jail. the men of letters' leader, a man who took on the name alistair, forced his inner circle to dress in the ceremonial black robes he had given them when he initiated them into his nearest and dearest, and which his wife had sewn out of old bed sheets and dyed black with home made oak gall dye. these robes still left black smudges on the wearer's skin occasionally if they sweated too much. josie was laid, bound, on the altar, a slapdash thing constructed over the course of two days from scrap plywood and a couple of milk crates. a rich red tablecloth purchased at macy's for $3.99 hid its ugliness and gave it grandeur. alistair attempted to kill the struggling miss sands by bringing a sharpened kitchen knife down on her bosom and piercing her heart, but, having never killed a human or even slaughtered an animal before, was unaware of the problem presented by the human ribcage. after rather ineffectually poking at the area beneath sands' bosom with his knife while she shrieked in pain and terror for about ninety seconds, alistair tried a different tack, and slit her throat, which worked just fine, and she bled out quite nicely. the second and final victim of the men of letters was a local vagrant named larry ganem, an older gentleman who walked with a limp. he was lured back to the compound in approximately the same manner as sands, but instead of being bound, he was fed stew laced with sleeping pills. even if alistair hadn't slit his throat, he wouldn't have woken up. it's actually arguable whether he was still alive at time of sacrifice; mary winchester (eight months into her first pregnancy), who, as a member of the inner circle, was in attendance, actually tried to take ganem's pulse as he lay on the altar (now covered by a different tablecloth; the red one had turned stiff with sands' blood and been subsequently burned) and found nothing, so it is entirely possibly only sands' death can be directly laid at alistair's feet, and ganem's is the fault of mrs. ellen harvelle, who prepared the laced stew. regardless, these two deaths are lessons in the nature of human evil: it is very rarely skilled, suave, or smooth. it's often slapdash, half-hearted, and just plain incompetent. but that makes it no less grisly. alistair may have begun to drink his own kool-aid, as it were, and escalated this far out of genuine belief that the apocalypse was coming and it was up to him to stop it, but it is far more likely that he sensed the imminent collapse of his little empire, and wanted to bind his subjects to him through the horrors of shared guilt, considering two lives a small price to pay for the continued loyalty of his inner circle. and the tactic worked: the men of letters didn't start to collapse in earnest until almost four years later. perhaps if alistair had continued the killings, the men of letters could have lasted for far longer, maybe even up until the present day. but it seems that alistair, a psychiatrist by training and unused to violence, simply didn't have the stomach for it. unlike, say, john winchester, who before his time with the men of letters had done a two year tour in vietnam, during which he had killed three living, thinking human beings with the american government's go-ahead.)

anyway. castiel is the first person, ever, to make the connection between the men of letters and the sioux falls satanic slaughterer. and once that connection is made, castiel begins to research the men of letters far more in-depth. and he notices something: the theology of the men of letters was intensely numerological, filled with patterns, significant numbers, and even spiritual equations.

castiel thinks of the seemingly random selection of the slaughterer's victims, and has an epiphany.

he cracks all his fingers, and gets coding.

six months. it takes castiel six months to discover an equation that could fit the slaughterer's pattern. it's complex, but also clearly based on several of the men of letters' holy numbers, and accounts for every single one of the killings. it also suggests that there should have been two or three more deaths scattered across the years, but more than likely those did happen, it's just that they weren't reported as part of the slaughterer's portfolio.

but much more importantly, castiel's model can also make predictions. there will be two killings, fifteen days apart, in a city seven hours' drive away, six weeks from now.

so castiel waits. and he books a hotel room. and two months later, he's waiting outside 217 oak street when a shadowy figure climbs up a tree and lets itself into the upstairs window.

dean winchester is feeling particularly all alone in the world when he breaks into maisey banks' home (217 oak street). his father has been dead for half a decade, and he hasn't spoken to his baby brother for twice that. it's not like this whole grizzly saving the world business makes him a lot of friends. so once he's done killing maisey (which is easy, she was ninety three and dying of cancer anyway. she doesn't even wake up when he slits her throat) and arranging her corpse in the appropriate manner, with prayers and sigils, he turns around. and sees a man standing behind him.

smiling slightly.

as he watches dean gut this old woman.

dean freezes.

the man takes a step forward.

"you're very attractive for a serial killer who's been operating since the eighties."

dean is silent.

"family business, is it?"

silence continues.

"i'm not here to report you to police. i'm just here to see if my algorithm worked right."

and dean finally breaks his silence: "what the hell is wrong with you?"

what's fun here is that dean knows (or rather "knows") that he isn't a serial killer. so he finds what cas is doing, this amoral serial killer stormchasing, morally repugnant. because cas has no way of knowing he isn't a regular serial killer.

there's also the fact that that cas proceeds to flirt with him. aggressively. and follows him back to his motel.

but the thing is that dean is all alone in the world. and as cas continues trailing him around, he starts getting, well, flattered. and feeling a little bit less alone.

it doesn't take very long before they fall into bed. even if cas is an amoral stalker with a fetish for what dean considers a distasteful yet necessary vocation.

so. they fall into bed. they fall in love. they make a little life together, in dean's big sexy car. dean tries to explain to cas that he's saving the world. that these people's lives are a necessary price to pay. and cas seems to listen.

of course, castiel doesn't believe a word of it. but he's found that he likes dean. really likes him. and he realizes that the collapse of dean's belief system would destroy him.

so he sets about becoming as complicit in it as possible.

even to the extent where, when dean is hit by a car and ends up into the hospital a day before one killing is meant to take place, castiel agrees to take on the job. (he doesn't actually kill anyone, obviously. but he does use his extensive skill with computers to create three fake newspaper articles which make it look like he has.)

but five years later, something goes wrong. really, really wrong. dean miscalculates the formula. and by the time he checks his work, the actual date of the next kill, as demanded by the formula, has passed. in fact, so have three others. and the world didn't end.

dean collapses. he hyperventilates. all those people. all those people. for no reason. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people.

cas seems totally unfazed. dean stares at him in shock. but cas just takes dean in his arms, and whispers in his ear: "oh, dean, i never believed in the equation. i love you no matter what you've done."

and dean buries his face in cas' chest.

[b1ttle]

Flexing in my honors regalia and looking gay as hell 😌 as it should be

About to graduate from community college drive-through style,,,,,honestly this might be the superior method

[xmalereader0]

Simon kalivoda x male reader

this is going ti be cringe, this is my first fan fic here

—————————————-

seeing him with her makes me feel sick but i have to act like it doesn’t kate made sure i didn’t try and kill myself with the pills she gave me, so she took them away slowly i stopped hanging out with them obviously they got worried so they cam to my house and i had to hide, once they left i walked into my room and locked the door hearing my siblings fight over something stupid again, it’s kind of awkward when your ex boyfriend works at the local grocery store where you get your grocery.

his providing his whole family so, his always at work which makes things more awkward “Y/N GO GET SOME EGGS” my mom yelled from the kitchen “OKAY” i yelled back not wanting her to come to my room, putting away the pills that would’ve probably overdosed me as i put on my sweater and walking out of my house and walking towards the grocery store, as i walk in four people caught off guard deena, sam, kate, and simon “ah, fuck” i whispered and ignored them when i satrted hearing a bunch of foot steps.

as i reached the eggs grabbing them and turning around to see the three girls standing right in front of me always breathing down my neck, “you’re going to have to talk to us soon enough y/n”, kate said looking at me with a stoic bitch face “no” i said walking to the side “you said no that’s a word that counts we win”, she said walking with me, “why did you even stop hanging out with us”, sam asked while holdin deena’s hand as i look down tha aisle for some chips.

“believe it or not seeing your ex boyfriend, date someone else isn’t something i’d consider calming, and i don’t think me and simon are on a talking level” i said grabbing some chips “well you’re gonna have to talk to him”, deena said as i stop my tracks, “why do i have too” i asked looking at them suspiciously when they all smiled “because his the only one working the register some are on break, and some are just doing drugs in the back”, kate smiled pushing me towards the front.

when kate ripped the eggs and chips out of my hands and put them on the conveyer belt when my stuff slowly moved to the front when simon grabbed them, “uhh hi”, simon said avoiding eye contact “yeah” i said when the three of them decided to butt their way into it “Soooo, simon do you have anything to say to y/n” kate asked, when he shooked his head “it’s 3.99”, i looked up making eye contact with him, “hellooooo”, kate said teasingly “uh here, you can keep the change”, i said grabbing the eggs when he went for it too before having time to take my hand away it already happened.

my hands touched his, when i yank my hand away “i got to fo home my mom probably wants eggs for breakfast tommorow”, i said grabbing my stuff when simon blurted out something “me and jessica aren’t dating anymore… by the way”, and strangely enough i felt relieved “cool, i don’t care” i said walking towards the doors as the sun blinded me and made me squint.

walking home, when i walked to the front door and knocked when my mom opened the door and hugged me “thanks kiddo”, as i took of my shoes and made my way to my room locking the door as i lay down on my bed as i slowly closed my eyes, when i woke up to a bunch of knocking on my window as i got up and walked to it there they were deena, kate, and simon “OPEN YOUR WINDOW YOU WHORE”, simon yelled making me roll my eyes as i opened it one by one they all jumped and i helped them sneak through my window.

“what the fuck are you guys doing”, i asked walking to my bed that simon already made himself comfortable “well if you’re not going to talk to us in public were going to talk to you in private”, simon said standing up and wrapping his arms around me, “ew get off me it’s weird went two ex’s hug”, i said not making an attempt to move, “you seem to enjoy it” deena said as simon fell back onto my bed taking me with “all of you are dorks”, i said looking at them when a hand popped through my window as sam crawled through it “what the fuck”.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Heyyyyy baby! Okay, I don't know if I'm the only one who's experienced this but did it ever happen to you that you're really good friends with someone in a platonic way and then one night you have a dream about them and you just wake up with this weird crush? Making you notice things about them? Maybe you could do a Tom x Co-star reader oneshot based on this? I'd want reader to be working on Spiderman then we could explore her relationship with the rest of the cast. But that's up to you. ;*

Don’t Dream It’s Over

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader

Masterlist

“Don’t be scared. I got you.” A smirk lit up Peters face before he slipped his mask on as you peered off the ledge hesitantly.

“What if I fall?” You chewed your bottom lip.

“Don’t worry about that, pretty girl.” He said softly as he held your chin between his thumb and pointer finger. “I’m always gonna be here to catch you.”

“Okay.” You agreed, and Peters pumped his fist in the air.

“You might wanna hold me a little tighter.” The eyes of his mask widened in excitement as he wrapped his arm around your waist. “For safety reasons, of course.” He added timidly.

You rolled your eyes at him but complied. You wrapped both arms around his neck and fit yourself as close against his body as you could.

“You ready?” He asked you and you nodded.

“You’re gonna love this.” He said excitedly and stepped off the building. You began to fall freely until and a scream ripped through your throat. Peter shot a web at a nearby building and you were suddenly lit flying upwards, wind rushing in your ears.

“Don’t let me go!” You squealed and tucked your face into Peters neck.

“I won’t.” He laughed in delight as he swung towards another building. Sensing your fear by how tightly you were clutching him, he decided to land. He swung towards a building and landed gracefully on the rooftop. You still held him tightly and he let out a chuckle.

“You can let go now.” He said shyly, not that he wanted you to. You slowly slid your arms down and opened your eyes.

“How was that?” Peter asked you as he removed his mask. He noticed the look on your face and worried that he had upset you. “Did you not like it? We don’t have to do it again.” He said apologetically. You flung your arms around Peters neck and pressed a kiss to his lips. When Peter recovered from the surprise, he kissed you back and let his hands rest on your hips.

“I love you.” You mumbled against his lips when you pulled away. The corner of his mouth tweaked up in a half baked smile. “I’ve felt it for a while. I don’t feel scared when I’m with you. I feel like I can do anything. Isn’t that love?”

“I think it is.” He nodded, eyes full of hope.

“Then why are you just standing there?” You asked him and he made a face that showed he didn’t understand. “Kiss me.”

The moment your lips touched Peters, your eyes fluttered open and you found yourself staring at the ceiling of your trailer. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you sat up in bed. Even though it was just a dream, you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach that it was over. You felt oddly disappointed, and a little dazed. You had hours upon hours worth of fittings and rehearsal to look forward to that day, but there was only thing on your mind: Had Peter Parker always been that cute?

You’d seen Tom in his Spider-Man suit a million times since filming began, but the thought of him in that red and blue was making your heart skip a beat that morning. You rushed out of bed to get dressed, suddenly feeling eager to see him. You threw on a dress he had complimented once before and smiled at your appearance before something dawned on you.

“Oh shit.” You whispered.

You now had a crush on Tom Holland.

You sped walked out of your trailer on high alert. You spotted Zendaya by the makeup trailer and waved her over.

“DAYA!” You shouted. “Daya come here.”

“What’s wrong girlie? You look like you’ve had a fun morning.” She folded her arms and laughed at the panicked look in your eyes.

“You know when you have one of those dreams that make you wake up with a crush on a person you thought you could never have a crush on?” You asked her quietly and she raised her eyebrows.

“Oh shit. Are you asking me out?” She teased you and you clenched your jaw.

“No, Daya. It wasn’t you.” You looked around for anyone who might be listening and quieted your voice. “It was Tom. Well, it was Peter. But now I think I like Tom.”

“Everyone knows that.” She shrugged you off and you scoffed.

“No, everyone speculates that.” You corrected her and she pursed her lips. “I honestly never had feelings for him until now. How am I supposed to act around him?” You whispered harshly.

“Just act like you always do.” She said and you groaned. You ran your fingers through your hair and tugged it.

“I can’t even remember how I used to act. All I can think of is that damn suit.” You folded your arms and blew out a breath. Zendaya looked you up and down and cocked her head.

“Damn, girl. What kind of dream was this?” She raised an eyebrow and you shoved her playfully.

“It wasn’t like that. It was romantic. I kissed him.” You insisted and she nodded skeptically.

“How did the kiss feel?” She interrogated you.

“I mean, I left my earthly body and saw the time knife but that’s it. It wasn’t anything special.” You dismissed it and Zendaya let out a laugh.

“So mediocre then?” She asked sarcastically. “Just talk to him. It’s the only way to tell if these feelings are real or just from your dream.”

“What do I say?” You asked desperately.

“I can’t think of everything. You need to take it from here.” Zendaya told you and you nodded reluctantly.

“You’re right. I’ll talk to him.” You squeezed her arm and walked away. You only got a few paces before you ran into a lady from the props department.

“Hey, Y/n.” She greeted you. “Could you take this to props please?”

“Oh, sure.” You smiled at her and took the fake knife she was holding. You kept walking and tried to think of a plan for what you were going to say to Tom.

“Hey there Juliet.” Jacob nodded at you. You stopped in your tracks so hard that your shoes skidded.

“Juliet? What have you heard?” You held the fake knife up to his throat and he held up his hands in defense.

“Woah there ku’uipo. Relax.” He chuckled and you lowered your knife. “I was just referring to the knife. You know how those crazy kids killed each other in old England.”

“Romeo and Juliet takes place in Verona.” You said and Jacob made a face like he didn’t understand.

“It’s in Italy. And they killed themselves.” You corrected again. “Why are we talking about this?”

“You’re right. What we should be talking about is what you think I heard.” Jacob smirked. Knowing Jacob wouldn’t drop the subject, you confessed.

“Have you ever had one of those dreams that makes you wake up with a crush on someone?” You whispered and he nodded.

“Yeah. I had one just last week and now I’m in love with Jake Gyllenhaal.” He said seriously and you glared at him. “Why, have you ever you ever had one of those dreams?”

“No.” You said quickly.

“Then why did you ask?” He challenged you.

“Ask what?” You played dumb.

“I…I don’t remember.” He blanked.

“You asked me if you could bring this knife back to props. And I said yes.” You lied and handed him the knife.

“Okay.” He shrugged and began to walk towards the props department. Jacob turned around again with a cheeky smile on his face.

“Tom.” He stated, and your heart stopped.

“What?” You faked a laugh.

“You dreamt about Tom.” He said, sure of himself this time.

“What? No.” You tried to lie but saw no use. “How did you know that?”

“Hawaiian intuition.” He tapped his head twice.

“That’s not a thing.” You accused him.

“Oh yeah? Then how did I know you’re crushing on Tom?” He asked you with a knowing smirk.

“I think Props is really missing that knife.” You tried to get out of the situation by sending him away.

“Alright. See you around, Juliet.” He saluted you with the knife and walked away. You swallowed thickly and soon as you turned around, you were met with Tom smiling face.

“Hey Y/n!” He greeted and you jumped back.

“Christ on a bike, Tom. You scared me.” You clutched your hand over your heart.

“Sorry, love.” He laughed softly, making your knees weaken beneath you. “Why was Jacob carrying a knife?”

“It was a prop knife. You could find it at a dollar store. It’d probably be more than a dollar, though. My guess is $3.99. Are you excited for the holidays? I am.” You rambled and Tom tilted his head in confusion.

“Are you okay?” He chuckled, taking a step closer to you and stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Are you kidding? I’m fine. It’s almost crazy how fine I am. How are you? Are you parents doing okay? They were so nice to me last time I saw them.” You said through a smile and Tom snorted.

“Yeah, you are pretty fine.” Tom commented and you gulped loudly.

“God in Heaven.” You said in a straggled voice and looked up at the sky.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I didn’t mean to offend you.” Tom said, thinking he offended you. “I just meant that I think you’re pretty. I’m sorry if that was inappropriate.”

“No, no, no.” You stammered and he relaxed. “Totally appropriate. Don’t even worry about it. I don’t even remember it. What were we talking about again?”

“That I think you’re pretty.” He played along and you pretended to remember.

“Were we? That’s crazy. You’re a crazy guy, Holland. One crazy son of a gun. But I uh, I think you’re pretty too.” You said quietly as you looked down at your shoes.

“Hey uh, did you hear about the crazy actress who killed her costar?” You asked suddenly and he furrowed his brows.

“No, oh my God. Who?” He wondered.

“Reese.” You nodded and looked past him.

“Witherspoon?” He asked in shock.

“No. With her knife.” You gave the punchline and grimaced. “I’m so sorry. That was a bad joke.”

“I thought it was funny. I always think you’re funny.” He smiled. Your breath hitched in your throat at his gaze. You’d never noticed how pretty his eyes were, or the little flecks of gold embedded in them.

“I , well, you — but you know, it’s just — I didn’t even uh, it was just a joke so, you know.” You stammered.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked you and you felt your palms beginning to sweat.

“Never been better, Peter.” You gave him a thumbs up, not realizing your slip up.

“Peter?” He repeated and your face fell.

“I didn’t say Peter.” You said quickly, eyes shifting to the left.

“I’m pretty sure you did.” He looked you up and down, wondering why you were acting so funny around him today. His stare only made you worse.

“Really? That’s funny, you must be hearing things. Hold on a minute, COMING DAYA.” You yelled behind you as if you were being called.

“I didn’t hear Zendaya calling you.” Tom said skeptically, beginning to think you didn’t want to talk to him.

“Wow Tom, you better get your ears checked. They are all out of wack, my man.” You laughed nervously as you began to back away. “I gotta go help Daya with something but I’ll catch you later.”

“Okay. Have fun.” Not too much fun, though.” He joked and you pointed finger guns at him, immediately killing you inside.

“Fank yew! It’ll be an alright time, it will.” You shouted in a cockney accent. You shut your eyes and covered your face with your hand. “I’m so sorry. I regret that so much. Can you please forget I just did that?” You pleaded with him.

“Might be a little hard to forget, love. I think it seared itself into my frontal lobe.” He tapped the side of his head and smiled at you. You gave him a big smile and hurried away. You stormed all the way to Zendaya’s trailer and shut the door behind you.

“I cannot believe that just happened.” You whined and covered your face with your hands.

“Woah there. Why are you all red?” Zendaya put down her script and laughed at your appearance.

“Because Tom just tried to talk to me and I forgot how to person.” You yelled in frustration, only making her laugh harder.

“I’m sure it was fine. It’s just Tom.” She insisted in dismissal.

“Exactly!” You exclaimed. “It’s just Tom. So how come when he looked at me, my brain told me to go EFF myself and put on a Nikki Minaj song.”

“Oof. That bad, huh? What song?” She asked you, amused with your embarrassment.

“Super Bass.” You half smiled. “The whole time Tom is talking to me I hear “this one is for the boys with the booming system. Top down, AC with the cooler system.” I couldn’t even think straight!” You whined.

“You’ve been friends with Tom for years.” She pointed out. “What happened?”

“It was that stupid dream! I had a dream we were in love and now I’m whipped. Whipped like…” You trailed off when you couldn’t think of the right word.

“Whip cream?” She raised an eyebrow and you glared at her.

“Shut up. I feel ridiculous.” You sighed and took a seat on her bed. You rested your head on her shoulder and she rubbed your back.

“I’m sure he didn’t think you were ridiculous.” She said quietly. “And look on the bright side.”

“Which is?” You asked her as you plopped down in her swivel chair.

“There are worse people you could be crushing on. Tom is a really great guy. He ill, he real, he might gotta deal. He pop bottles and he got the right kind of build.” She said in a serious tone.

“The way I’m about to shadow kick you right now.” You said gravely as you looked up at the ceiling.

“I’m serious. He’s one of your best friends right? What’s so bad about him being your boyfriend?” She nudged you gently and you sighed.

“There’s nothing bad about it. But what if that’s not what he wants?” You asked quietly as you played with your fingers.

“Take a look at yourself in the mirror, model.” Zendaya spun your chair around to face the mirror as she tucked some of your hair behind your ear. “Of course that’s what he wants.”

“You better be right.” You looked at her in the mirror and she smiled at you.

“I am. Now come on. We have rehearsal on the Crown Jewels set.” She held you up out of the chair.

“I’ll meet you there in a second. I have to grab my script.” You told her before leaving her trailer. You went back to your trailer as she went to set.

~

“Is this mace real?” Jake asked as he weighed it in his hands as the rest of the cast went over their scripts.

“You really think they’d give us a real mace? Especially with you on set, Donnie Darko?” Jacob teased him and Jake began to play with the mace like it were a sword.

“Do they even make maces anymore?” Zendaya wondered, backing away from Jake a little as his swings gained momentum.

“Who’s they?” Jacob laughed.

“The blacksmithes.” Jake said seriously before we went back to moving his mace.

“Yeah, Jacob. Don’t you know about the blacksmiths?” Zendaya asked sarcastically, making a face at him.

“This thing is kinda heavy, though. Makes me want to swing it around and take down the leader of the Huns or something.” Jake realized as he began to swing his arm in a circle.

“Jake, put the prop down.” Jacob laughed nervously as Jake got a little too close with the mace.

“I physically cannot put it down. It’s in control now.” Jake insisted as he swung it around even harder.

“How are you the oldest and most childish person here?” Zendaya asked as she hide behind a suit of armor for protection.

“I feel so free.” Jake smiled wildly. “Is this how the vikings felt?”

“How would anyone here know that?” Zendaya sassed.

“And why do you want to know how the Vikings felt?” Jacob added.

“Hey guys.” You greeted the room happily only to get smacked in the mouth with the mace upon arrival. You collapsed to the floor and felt warm blood trickling down your face.

“Y/n! I am so sorry!” Jake covered his mouth with his hand when he realized what he had done. He bent down beside you and sent the mace down.

“Jesus? Is that you?” You asked groggily as you looked up at Jake.

“Yes. Jesus accidentally hit you in the mouth with a mace. But Jesus was just trying to feel like a Viking. Do you forgive Jesus?” Jake as he he picked your head up a little and let it rest on his hand to keep you elevated.

“Yes?” You asked in confusion as the corners of your vision began to blacken.

“She’s okay guys!” Jake called to Zendaya and Jacob. “But can we get a medic?”

Zendaya rushed out of the room to get a medic right as Tom entered it. He took one look at you on the floor and bloody and dropped to his knees.

“What the hell happened here?” Tom snapped as he took your hand. He dabbed some of the blood off your chin with his sleeve and saw a large cut on your mouth. He looked up at Jake for answers and Jake looked very sheepish.

“Someone hit Y/n with a mace.” He said quietly.

“Hm. Could it be the man holding the mace?” Tom asked in sarcastic anger as he pointed to the mace. He turned his attention back to you and slowly helped you sit up. He held you against his chest and tried to get the hair unstuck from your face.

“Jesus hit me.” You whined and Tom looked at Jake with a raging anger.

“You hit her? I’ll kill you.” He tried to move towards Jake but you patted his chest.

“Jesus hit me accidentally.” You added, and Tom calm down.

“Are you okay, darling?” Tom asked, switching to his most gentle tone. He pulled a pack of tissues out of his pocket and held it against your mouth to slow the bleeding.

“I’m all dandelions and fruit cups down here, handsome.” You giggled, vision still swirling.

“She’s losing consciousness. Where is the medic?” Tom growled and look towards the door right as a woman in white came in.

“Right here. Move aside, please.” The medic ordered. Tom reluctantly laid you down on the ground and backed away to give you space.

“Pickle side, pickle side.” You laughed to yourself and moved your hands like you were conducting. The medic transferred you to a gurney and began to roll you towards the door.

“Where are you taking her?” Tom asked as he followed them.

“We’re gonna take her to the closest hospital. It looks like she needs stitches.” The medic told him and his heart sank.

“I love that song.” You mumbled and began to hum Stitches.

“Can I come?” Tom pleaded as he helped push the gurney along.

“Are you family?” The medic asked him.

“Yes.” He said quickly but she didn’t look convinced. “No. Please. I need to be there when she wakes up.”

“Fine. Get in the back of the ambulance.” The medic nodded towards the ambulance and Tom climbed inside. He waited until you were loaded in and took your hand in his.

“This is just like Grey’s Anatomy.” You smiled a little, then stopped when it hurt. “Nobody knows where we might end up. Nobody knows.” You sang to yourself.

“Thats right, Y/n. Just hang tight, sweetness. It’s gonna be okay. We’re almost there.” Tom said soothingly as he stroked your hair. You smiled at him softly before you fell unconscious.

“We’re almost there. Just hang tight.” Peter looked over at you, taking your hand in his to kiss the back of it.

“Is she gonna like me?” You asked him, hoping for an honest answer.

“Sweetheart, May is going to beg you to move in before dinner ends.” Peter chuckled. “She’s gonna love you.”

“How do you know?” You worried, trying to distract yourself by looking out the window.

“Because I love you. And I’m her kin.” Peter shrugged and you snapped your attention to him.

“That’s the first time you ever told me that.” You smiled softly at him as the streetlight lit up his profile.

“Is it?” He raised his eyebrows to play along. “I didn’t know.”

“Pull over.” You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth.

“What?” He laughed, his smile fading when he saw that you were serious.

“Pull over.” You repeated. Peter obliged and pulled over as soon as he could.

“Is there something you needed?” He asked you with a coy smile.

You smirked at Peter before unbuckling your seatbelt. You leaned across the gear and pulled him into a long kiss.

“I love you too.” You told him, and kissed him again.

“Love? You awake?” Toms voice pulled you out of your dream. Your eyes fluttered open and you looked over to where his voice was. He was sitting in a hospital chair, pulled right up to your bed. “How you feeling?”

“Like I got hit with a mace.” You tried to sit up and he immediately went to your side to help you. You gave him a grateful smile and rubbed your eyes.

“Yeah, I figured. Jake said he’s really sorry. He’s been calling me every five minutes to see if you’ve woken up.“ Tom smiled softly and touched your cheek. He kept his touch light, not wanting to hurt you.

“Thanks, Peter.” You leaned into his touch and rubbed his wrist lightly with your thumb.

“Back to the Peter thing, huh?” He laughed softly. “They told me they got you on some crazy pain killer that was gonna make you loopy.”

“You wanna know something?” You raised your eyebrows suggestively.

“Tell me, darling.” He took a seat on your bed and gave you his full attention. You walked your fingers up his arm and drew patterns on his shoulder with your fingernails.

“I’ve been dreaming about us.” You told him, something you’d never admit if you weren’t on the medicine.

“Have you?” He raised his eyebrows. “What are you dreaming about us doing?”

“You’re mine.” You leaned into him with a sleepy smile. “And I’m yours.”

“You’ve been dreaming about us being together? Like as a couple?” He asked for confirmation and you nodded.

“Uh huh. And then I wake up and I’m sad.” You pouted and stuck out your bottom lip.

“Why are you sad?” He asked quietly, his heart beginning to speed up. You looked up at him through your eyelashes and gave a sad smile.

“Because it was just a dream.” You told him. Tom let out a shaky breath and tried to process what you were saying.

“Are you saying your want us to be together?” He tilted your chin up so he could see your reaction. He knew you were high on medicine and probably had no idea what you were saying, but a part of him hoped you were telling the truth.

You leaned in with a dopey smile and pressed your nose against Toms.

“You’re the boy of my dreams, Peter.” You cooed and he pulled his face away in annoyance.

“Right.” He sighed and looked away. “Peter.”

“Are you mad at me?” You worried when you noticed his reaction. Even with the medicine compromising your mentality, you could tell he was angry.

“No. No darling, I’m not mad. Not at you.” He mumbled, avoiding your gaze.

“Come here.” You pulled at his shirt and he cradled a smile. “I want to be close to you.”

“Okay.” He obliged and scooted closer. You shut your eyes and rested your head against his forehead.

“Can I ask you something?” You whispered, and he could’ve sworn you were sober for a moment.

“Anything.” He nodded against your head.

“Can you hear my thoughts?” You asked seriously and Toms face fell in disappointment.

“No. No I can’t hear your thoughts.” He told you and pulled away.

“Good.” You cupped his chin and turned his face back to you. “Because they’re all about you.”

You let your thumb slowly drag down his lip, laughing a little at the sound it made when you let go. Toms throat tightened at your action and he gulped.

“You’re so pretty.” You smiled as your eyes trailed down his face.

“You’re pretty too.” His lips tugged into a grin.

“Peter.” You whined as you pushed him away.

“What?” He asked, confused with your mood change.

“You’re giving me butterflies.” You said timidly as you played with the edge of your hospital gown. “But I like someone else. I can’t like you too.”

“You like someone?” His face paled. “Do I know him?”

“Yeah. He’s like a really, really good friend of yours.” You blew out a breath.

“Is it someone on set?” He questioned you.

“Maybe.” You said in a sing song voice and shrugged.

“Who?” He asked, getting more worked up by the minute.

“I like Tom.” You whispered loudly and Toms eyes widened.

“What?” He whispered back.

“Shhhh, Peter.” You pinched his lips between your fingers. “You can’t tell Tom that I like him.”

“I think he might already know.” Tom said when he pulled your hand away from his face.

“What?” You panicked. “Who told him?”

“Whew, I don’t know.” Tom played along. “I think Zendaya did.”

“Daya? No. She swore she wouldn’t. It must’ve been Jacob.” You hit your fist against the bed.

“You told Jacob before me?” Tom exclaimed.

“I didn’t tell him. It was his Hawaiian intuition.” You tapped the side of your head twice.

“His what?” Tom tilted his head to the side.

“I have to go to sleep now, Peter. I can’t talk about this right now.” You waved your hand and pulled the sheets over your lap.

“You’re gonna tell me that you like me and then go straight to sleep?” He whined. 

“I don’t like you, Peter. I like Tom.” You corrected him. “I like Tom and his curly hair and his brown eyes and his cute ass nose. God, what a nose. And I like his accent and his smile and his ambition and FUCK, his nose.”

“You mentioned that already.” He chuckled shyly.

“I did?” You sat up slightly and shrugged. “Because I love it. I love it all. And if you’ll excuse me, I needs my sleeps.” Tom sat back in his chair and sighed, knowing he wouldn’t be getting any real answers until you woke up.

~

“Good morning.” You said weakly as you reached for the ice pack next to your bed. You held it against your cheek and sighed in relief.

“Hi sunshine.” Tom smiled softly. “Are you feeling any better?”

“Yeah. I don’t feel like someone put my brain through a pasta maker anymore.” You said as you rubbed your eyes.

“Aw. How about your mouth?” He questioned. 

You gave him a weak smile until it hurt and returned the ice pack to your face.

“There she is.” He smiled back. “You may want to keep the smiling to a minimum until those stitches heal.”

“That wont be a problem.” You groaned in misery and leaned against his body. He hesitantly brought his hands to your head and stroked your hair.

“Hey, can we talk about before? About what you told me?” He asked softly as he combed the tangles out of your hair.

“Tom, if you think I remember a single thing since this morning…” You shook your head as you trailed off.

“You told me that you liked me.” He got straight to the point. “Or, you told Peter that you liked me. But I heard, o-obviously.”

“Oh God.” You buried your face in your hands to hide your shame.

“Jacob knows, Zendaya knows. You told everyone but me.” He said softly. You began to panic now that he knew. Even if he was cool about it, it’d never be the same between the two of you.

“Sorry, no.” You blurted, back to forgetting how to act around Tom.

“Sorry, yes. You told me a few hours ago, love.”

You turned away from him in shame and squeezed your eyes shut, wishing you were anywhere but in that hospital bed.

“I’m sorry if that creeps you out. I guess I don’t really have control over the fact that you’re…” You trailer off with a loss of words.

“The boy of your dreams?” He humored you and you huffed out a breath.

“Leave me alone.” You groaned and put your head back in your hands. Tom gestured for you to scoot over so he could take a seat beside you, and you did.

“You know, those stitches come out in a week.” He brought you and you looked at him quizzically.

“And?” You asked, unsure of his point. Tom took your chin between his fingers and placed a kiss on the corner of your mouth. Your entire body froze as he pulled away and gave you a half cocked smile.

“Find me in a week.” He winked.

“Pssh.” You smirked. “In your dreams.”

Tag list 🏷

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[allthingsdarkanddirty]

99c First and Limited Time Only! Past Tryst by USA Today bestselling author, Esther E. Schmidt & Addy Archer. A gripping, standalone romance novel filled with banter, tension, and chemistry.

Be sure to snatch it up quick before the price flips back to $3.99 11/11/2023.

Amazon US: https://amzn.to/3CGXnMH

All platforms: https://books2read.com/pasttryst

What happens when you mix a television dating show, a prize to win, and pure chemistry between two people? A full-blown collision along with a misunderstanding that lasts till Monday morning when they both–unknowingly–have to show up for work in the same tattoo shop.

Eloise - A new town, a new job, and a huge step forward to break open my shell and crawl out of my comfort zone. The wounds from my past may have healed, but in some form, life ultimately finds a way to rip them right back open.

Lucas - My parents always said my player ways would instantly come to an end once I experience pure chemistry when I finally meet the right woman. They weren’t kidding ‘cause meeting her knocks me off balance in a way that turns life upside down. Including hers when I unravel a dangerous truth from her past.

Add to Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/75723000