#rip me bc i kept dying in stupid ways

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

played Sons of the Forest with my vastly superior at surviing the cannibals sibling tonight

it was on the third down from the same giant fucking cannibal, that i remembered the grenade

also managed to knock down several trees which helped in base construction

also sometimes the dead cannibals wriggle their backsides at you, its a buit of a weird ragdoll

also may have accidentally eaten a leg i meant to put in the backpack for a warning totem later... oops, pressed E too hard

not to mention... I had the vehicle for like 2 mins and got stuck in a lake and it began to glitch out in rapid circles around me, it was apparently insane

ALSO if you try to get in a vehicle as the fdriver is moving off?

they see you t-pose and then teleport next to them, that's fucking hilarious

if you like horror survival and naked flesh eaters you can beat to death with various implements as they try desperately to make you dinner while you're trying to build your fucking house...

try the game

but maybe have a crack at the first one (The forest) so you find out some Important Lore that makes you feel like an Asshole but things suddenly make sense...

be prepared to see so much flesh

[cheegu3]

Heloo may I request a enhypen reaction when y/n killed themselves and left a note saying "this is all your fault"

Sorry if this makes you uncomfy

oh not at all, I was only on the fence about writing this bc idk if talking about this topic is allowed on tumblr, but I hope u didn’t feel a lot of anxiety when sending in this ask 😭 it is a little short so sorry abt that :c some of the notes are a bit different too to switch it up!

tw / trigger warning: yandere, dark themes, depression, suicide, self-harm, sad asf, cursing, violence, blood, suicide-note, vomiting, gun

pls do not read if this triggers or offends you or if you're struggling !!

Yandere!Enhypen - reaction to you unaliving yourself

Jungwon

He didn't know how to react when he found you dead. No tears fell down his face as he looked for a pulse, clutching your cold hand in his.

When he spotted a note lying a few meters away, a heavy sigh left his lips and he gave you a pained look.

' This is all because of you. If only you'd treated me like a normal boyfriend would, maybe we could've been soulmates. I hope you feel pain for the rest of your life. '

The more Jungwon stared at the note, blaming him for all of your pain and problems; the more he felt like he had to fight to hold back the tears that were itching to fall.

At the same time, he found a strange anger bubbling inside of him. Not only did you - the love of his life, leave him in this way but you had to wish him pain in your last breath too?

He became blinded by anger. The hand that was holding the note clenched and the paper crumbled under it.

He will try to stay alive just to spite you. Trying his best to move on and get happy, maybe fall in love again and find a family just so he could get his revenge; as you watched from above and realized you meant nothing to him.

But Jungwon never got over you, not really.

Heeseung

He got angry immediately, cussing you out and almost getting the urge to hit you. Instead, he took his anger out on a mirror and felt some sense of relief when he started to bleed.

He blamed himself of course. He had been wrong about how you were feeling, even though he often prided himself on having been able to read you like an open book.

He didn't notice your spark slowly dying out; the more he got angry the more he got jealous, and then the more you were punished for the smallest things.

It got to a point where you couldn't even live in the moment and enjoy the short times when he was a sweet boyfriend again, because you were always scared of what would tick him off a few seconds later.

' I'm sorry, Hee. I was so tired of fighting. I love you,

y/n. '

His vision blurred as tears filled his eyes. He could only manage to hold them back for a few seconds before he doubled over and sobbed loudly.

The room filled with loud wails of pain that would even make angels cry. Anyone that heard it would know just how much he loved you.

Heeseung clutched his chest right where his aching heart felt like it was being ripped out of him. '' I'm sorry, I'm so sorry baby, '' he kept whispering until he was tired of crying for hours and it turned into shaky murmurs.

He fell asleep, hoping it would be eternal, with your body in his arms; dried tears on his cheeks being replaced by new ones, as even in his sleep he couldn't escape seeing his lover.

Jay

It was the worst phone call he had ever received. He didn't know how to react after it ended, only staring blankly into the distance as his thoughts went crazy.

He needed to see you with his own eyes to believe it so he rushed home. His stomach sank when he spotted the ambulance. Quickly he pushed through the people to get to you.

But when he reached you and saw your lifeless body on the stretcher, he didn't know what to do yet again. A stupid voice inside him told him he should keep his cool in front of all the spectators, even while the love of his life lay dead in front of him.

Did he want to cry, scream, or hold you?

He lowered his eyes to get the image of you like that out of his head. Still in shock, he went inside, locked the doors, and shut the windows' blinds.

He stayed like that for days; barely eating, seeing the sun, or getting out of bed. No matter how bad his depression got and how the light at the end of the tunnel seemed to get further and further away, he still refused to cry.

There was a reason. Your note.

He had seen it while cleaning his house that day he got home. Not wanting to let his thoughts get to him, he started sterilizing and cleaning the whole house. When he then got to the bedroom, a small green note poked out underneath the bed.

He crouched and was about to throw it away until he turned it over and read the first and only line.

' this is all your fault '

And after that, he'd never be the same man again. Most days he wondered if he was even human anymore, he didn't feel anything.

Jake

'' Y/n! I'm home. ''

Jake's face scrunched up as he pouted when you didn't come running to him like usual. Something felt wrong, a bad feeling brewed in his stomach, growing in size the more he moved around in his apartment.

He went further in, peeking around the corners but not calling out for you anymore. It felt better to explain the bad feeling by thinking you were doing something you weren't supposed to, rather than you being hurt; so he moved quietly so he could catch you in the act.

Inside the office, you were nowhere to be found. He guessed you had snuck in there to write to your loved ones or maybe snoop through his stuff. Defeatedly he sighed and moved on, eyes getting caught by the door to the bedroom being slightly open.

Jake stopped in his step and turned back.

'' Y/n? Are you in there? Come out please, I just want to talk, '' he tried, his voice coming out a lot more whiny and desperate than he'd planned.

But he got no response except for silence. His worry grew. One deep breath later he pushed the door open before he could change his mind.

It slowly creaked open, revealing the room little by little. He fell to his knees and gasped.

You were lying in a pool of blood. At first, he felt a surge of anger - who could've done this to you? Then, his attention drifted to the small folded note next to you, and his heart sank.

'' No, please don't say...'' he trailed off, hurrying to unwrap the paper with so much panic that he almost ripped it.

' I wanted to meet my friend one last time, that's all I asked for, but like always it was about what you wanted. We both know that this was all your fault. '

Overcome with despair and grief it wouldn't take long for Jake to join you. He couldn't stand being apart, and he'd find you wherever you were, even in death.

Sunghoon

He felt very angry at you, not himself. Yes, he had dared you to do it while the two of you were in the middle of a screaming match but he hadn't expected you to actually pick up a gun.

The image of you staring at him, tears in your eyes, and that look on your face, which was the last he'd see of you, would forever be etched in his mind.

He couldn't sleep at night. It was like it was burned into the back of his eyes too.

Once your body fell to the floor with a thud, his eyes widened and his lips parted. He knew you were gone without even having to check your pulse.

'' Do it, '' those were his last words to the one person he loved.

He felt sick suddenly, rushing to the bathroom to throw up everything and then some more.

In that bathroom he stayed for hours, just staring blankly at the tiles on the wall, not saying a word or moving an inch. After the sun started setting outside and the light caught his eyes, he finally got up and went to where he had last left you.

You hadn't moved. Sunghoon crouched down next to you and started digging in your pockets for your phone. Something sharp brushed against his palm.

He took it out and saw that it was a note. Unraveling it, he discovered it was a suicide note you must've written a long time ago. Had you always had it on you? Just in case.

' I hate you '

He clenched his fist around the paper, it broke. '' Weak, '' he whispered under his breath and got up.

It was a coping mechanism to place all the anger on you. God knows what he would've done if he started letting that transfer to himself. But, even the anger couldn't stop him from missing you - every single day.

Sunoo

He would blame himself immensely, not having room to be mad at you at all. All that he felt for you was pity and empathy. He tried putting himself in your shoes for the first time and it was a heartbreak he'd never experienced before.

He went to school that day, so excited to see you, only to feel horror as he pushed through the crowd that had formed curiously and saw your body there.

It felt like slow-motion when the wind made you turn and you made eye contact with him. Whispers spread like wildfire all around him, surrounding him completely.

Sunoo felt confused and scared, his eyes darted around anxiously and he tried slipping out. Someone pushed him back.

'' You did this! ''

His head snapped up. A girl, your friend, was standing on the table overlooking the whole classroom. Her eyes were red from crying and in her hand, she was holding something white.

' I'm sorry to do this here, but it's because of my boyfriend, he's controlling and an obsessive, crazy person. I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of him. I'm sorry, I love you '

His world fell apart in an instant. He had no idea you'd been feeling like that, why didn't you tell him? He ran his fingers through his disheveled hair as he came to a realization - you did, and he didn't listen.

He was finally allowed to push through the crowd and run away from the school which he'd never again return to. Tears streamed down his face the whole way home, and they didn't stop even as he reached it.

In his mind, all the ' what if-s ' played. What if he fixed himself and was less obsessive, would you have stayed then? What if he was less jealous, would you have loved him back? What if...what if.

Ni-ki

He tried distracting his mind by both rationalizing it to soften the blow, saying '' we probably weren't made for each other anyway '', and trying to go on dates with other girls.

However, every time he did so, he'd zone out and wish that it was you sitting across from him instead. He started daydreaming which brought a smile to his face until it dropped almost as suddenly as it had come when he heard her voice and realized it wasn't you.

They could never be you.

Suddenly he was angry at them, cursing and telling them to leave him alone and to never text him again.

Deep down he knew he'd never love anyone like you again, and you were actually meant for him; but he hated admitting it and to spare himself from more pain, might never admit it.

That was the thing, you were meant for him. Not anymore; you didn't exist anymore, because of him. He knew that now that his soulmate was gone forever, his bleak days would never be lit up by you again.

Just thinking of that smile, the only one that managed to get through his tough and cold exterior, made him feel like crying or punching something.

He then thought of the note, which he often did, and your body at the morgue because he hadn't come home quick enough to see you, and for that he was grateful; seeing you like that would've driven him to the edge.

The note, the one that read, ' I'm sorry, Riki. I tried, I really did. I love you, -y/n '

[mad-c1oud]

MAD. I have so many things i love abt your fics. in no order:

The panick from elotes when he sees charlie die from dehydration and he decides ‘fuck emotional maturity’ !!!!! OH GOD ITS SO GOOD

I think CONSTANTLY about when charlie was like ‘you dont have to call me slime, it isnt, like, reserved’ and they talk and etoiles goes ‘oh and you can say my name right’ and slime goes WHAT. Oh god i think abt it like daily and have a giggle

In fake it till you make it when charlie is calling etoiles all the nicknames and antoine just pretends like nothing is happening ❤️❤️

on the topic of fitymi, THE KISS GLASS FACTORY SCENE. RENT FUCKING FREE. The way you wrote it and then THE COPS KNOWING LMAOOO IT DIDNT WORK. Roier chanting “mi dinero!” Bc he won the bet is CHEF KISS

when etoiles casually kisses charlie and leaves, phil’s reaction when he realizes is GOLD KKKKK. “Is that why charlie has been blowing up my phone?” And etoiles going “i kissed and now i am telling” AGH

The intro (?) scene to immi where etoiles is just like ‘its okay its okay its okay he doesnt need items, hes really doing just fine–’ so he doesn’t rip charlies armor off where hes standing is HILARIOUS

“He is here. He is ravenous” then charlie dying to eater of suns was my favorite bc ITS SO IN CHARWCTER LMAO. HE WOULD.

How etoiles breaks a million avocados as baghera pulls out all the arrows from charlie. You can //feel// the need to protect coursing through his veins and poor bro has to make dinner

How youve written TWO scenes where etoiles brain fails upon imagining charlie in eyeliner. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE (i am too)

Not a apecific scene, but the (in immi) motif of charlie not feeling like enough so he always has to bring //something//.

GOD THE ENTIRE MOST RECENT CHAPTER OF IMMI. STAN FERAL HYBRID. STAN THEIR ONE SAFE PERSON. HAHAIXHSNAJAJJSUXIXIWWNKEODOEPQPEI

The immi scene where etoiles tells charlie about the bug :(

God how //unserious// charlie is about being hurt (and probably etoiles but they have different ways of unserious). Its so true to his character but i still wanna just SHAKE HIM so he doesn’t crack jokes //while he’s bleeding out//

The scene where etoiles rushes charlie back. It feels so rushed but not like you wanted to get it over with, just… like everything is a blur to etoiles while hes doing this. Like he remembers the steps he took but not what he felt when he took them. (Also how he gives himself five seconds to scream into a pillow. Felt that. STAN.)

Him asking for two cookies from phil bc he is ‘fading fast’ and when phil shows up he pretty much (albiet accidently) tunes oht phil bc he //cant look away from charlie–//

That stupid fucking cod elotes put in the barh idk if it has a name but I have a love/hate relation with it. I wonder if they kept it.

“Its not a waste with you” KILL ME THEYRE IN LOVE

When etoiles tells him to say if he feels hurt, then charlie starts crying and e is like “eh! Im so sorry what did i do you didnt say anything–” and charlies like eueuue youre so nice

Charlie purring… yes… YESSS…. (Love it when anything and everything hybrid purrs 💖)

“My cucumber” ….

When charlie pretends to be etoiles boyfriend to get into the hospital (fitymi) and the nurses are like uh this guy named charlie- and elotes goes “hehehehhhh yeahh charlie. He’s my bro” and the nurses take that as dating (BECAUSE WHAT ELSE IS IT????)

sorry tjis was so long i just had a chance to rant abt your writing and BY GODS NAME DID I TAKE IT

💖i hope you fee better

DUDE 😭😭😭

This is the best thing I’ve ever read. People always comment on chapters and fics in that moment they read them usually, so I’m always curious what sticks with people weeks later, what occupies their brain again and again long after reading…

Reading all this had me smiling so fucking big it Hurts oh my good you are so sweet dude

To answer your question: Charlie kept the cod Paul! It lives in the little pond he has in the greenhouse. It was supposed to be mentioned during the birthday chapters, but I reworked a lot of content and it not longer fit nicely so I just took it out for now. The feesh will be seen again…

The nicknames in fake it were my favorite part. I got like three sentences in and was like— hold on Idea—

And yeah Charlie giving things to Étoiles in immi, that comes a personal habit. Qcharlie has been broken down time and time again that this amount of unwavering kindness feels illegal to accept. He’s had to pay the price for so much, so sure this too right? Étoiles wants to shake him <3

YEHAHHH THE NAME THING IN IMMI!!! Man I needed a way to ween Étoiles into calling him Charlie that was just causal cause that’s Boring, and I wanted to acknowledge the face that irl, ccChatlie didn’t know how to pronounce his name at first either lmao

i like Charlie in eyeliner, sue me….

One of my favorite chapters might just be A Bandage. From the other islanders to the cooking to karaokeduo to the Chittering!!!!! Idk that one holds a special place in my heart <3

Also fun fact: I had like, 4 other fake dating scenarios I jotted down for fake it but I was worried the fic would turn into immi which also started as a 5+1 so I scrapped some ideas and kept a it short and sweet. kinda regret it and wish I could rewrite it but I still like what it turned in to

Man reading my own work through your comments is really nice. Gives me a better appreciation for what I’m creating haha

Thank you sm for all this, it means a lot and it’s never too long trust me <333

[ganondoodle]

couldnt fall asleep for at least 2 full hours bc i kept thinking about it, so ... more (i hope this is the last time)

what was the point of adding isha? no i mean it! i started to like her in act 2 bc i liked mute characters and her with vanderwick where pretty cute.. those episodes are still my favorite, but shes so?? she gets dropped into jinxs lap quite literally (WHY where cross's goons (the chembaron) even chasing her?? i thought thered be some reveal or soemthign or backstory idk but no she just came out of nowhere and got chased for no reason other than to end up falling on jinx and seeing her shoot the goons) and then is given some cutesy time with em only to die horribly for literally nothing except make jinx .... suicidal ... which SHE ALREADY WAS, the entire vi and jinx fight scene at the start of the season is about her wanting vi to kill her- using isha like that is such a waste and so cheap, it served no purpose other than to give jinx and the viewer i guess the hope that things could be better even after everything only to rip it all away again and make it all even worse, but it already was so bad that it falls incredibly flat, and aside from jinx being worse than ever mentally no one seems to really mind? (ALSO feels slimy bc she was mute, mute kid chaarcter only gets used as a cheap way to make mentally unwell character even more mentally unwell)

magma vanderwick ... how ... what was that then? i thought it was either singed who was left alone in the greenhouse with vanderwick using that serum on him that supposedly .. does something to prevent viktor from bringing vanders mind fully back (no other information on that?) or it was viktor 'dying' that made all other cult people flop over and get taken/into stasis, and bc vanderwick was such a strange creature it took vander or part of him but not the beast- but then in act 3 ..... singed uses that serum THERE, so it wasnt him doing anything and him standing ominously in the broken greenhouse was jsut to .. show singed was still alive bc that fucker cant ever die- AND when stupid viktor turns people into fugly robots (im pretty sure, unless im mixing up what mind erased him) you see his memories being burned, so hollowed out .. which means that he was still himself? so it wasnt that viktors 'death' erased vander and left the beast bc it was still both at that point .... what the fuck was up with him then at the end of act2??? why did he go all volcano??

AND then at the end with the weird vi getting emotional over fugly robo vanderwick scene the beast i guess is STILL there .. but when you get turned like that you just turn into a robot and your mind ceases to exist, he already had vander erased, but then gets taken and turned robo so the beast should be gone too?? no`??? even if i remember it wrong and it was viktor who mind erased just vander- again problem as before, why did he go volcano then?? AND why did he slump over dead eyed after it? shouldnt the beast take over immediately when vanders gone??

....did jinx even interact at all with sevika after the scene in stillwater?? i dont think so, what a joke honestly, sevika was pretty much part of the team, then she gets isha out and then next time its jinx isha and vi going to search for vanderwick, the fuck has she been doing until the last episode where she doesnt say or really do a single thing???

im sorry lesbians but that sex scene was rather missplaced, not agaisnt it in general but the timing?? (any sex scene there at that time would be missplaced imo) jinx pretty clearly told vi that she will kill herself "you wont have to worry about me anymore" "im breaking the cycle" HELLO??? and while we dont know how long it took for cait to find vi down there (whereever that prison even is? not stillwater thats for sure) shouldnt vi burst out the prison and go chase after jinx the second she was freed???? i get she says soemthign like losing hope of getting through to her BUT JINX IS GOING TO KILL HERSELF?????????? and then cait and vi make out and fuck in the LITERAL SAME CELL THAT JINX WAS JSUT IN?????????? and even after that doesnt go to check on her?? you CANNOT tell me vi just gave up on her and accepted she killed herself like that

ALSO did no one know what signed was doing with vanderwick (who was still alive .. so isha kinda died uselessly, if he died then as well at least it would mess up the plan .. the stupid plan, i hate viktor cocoon hivemind shit)? they had to get vi out of there so ?? and vi also didnt like .. check if idk vanderwick was really fully dead or just go there again? even if it was secured or soemthign i dont remember her askign anything about him just jinx ... bc there she still cared at least a little bit about her i guess

jayce ... why did act2 make him out to be all mad and like he was given a mission by ekko and heimer (bc he says "i wont fail them" THEM) but then its revealed it was old future viktor who send him back/gave him the mission- ALSO why was he so extreme and mad in act2 when .. yes in act 3 you see him go through that torture in the cavern but when he climbs up hes relatively calm and collected and ignores the weird crawly monsters and has a somewhat normal conversation with old viktor .. and then he returns and is suddendly all mad and going after present viktor- WHICH ONLY MAKES IT SO IT ENDS UP LIKE THE STUPID TIMELOOP??? did i miss something or does that makes no sense?? the only reason it not ending up like that being ekkos intervention- but jayce before that seems to just .. do all that like he wants it to end like in the loop .. i thought he was trying to stop it .. what was the point?

did no one question where the heck salo went? even if he fell from grace .. it feels weird to put him to viktor, make it clear on him how viktor isnt just healing people but taking their minds bc that wasnt salo anymore and no one seems to care?

kinda similar with mel bc her being taken only really matters to ambessa (and when they reunite i expected ambessa to break tbh ...) and one comment from salo and anyone else? who cares? wasnt she in charge? i mean yeah cait took over in a sense but it still feels weird; plus on the whole mel business .. she went from big important power figure of the enterity of piltover to uh .. mage lady in black body suit so quickly? political power figure to weeee blasting vaguely gold magic stuff all over yippiiiie (but in general all political stuff just went out the window with those last episodes)

i said before how i didnt like the whole getting put into other dimension bs with ekko even if the setting was somewhat neat, but similar how weird jayces end speech to viktor felt idk .. ekko having to see, interact and .. make out with a jinx/powder that was 'normal' to see that jinx in his time still had value felt slimy to me also he conveniently gets put right there when jinx is about to kill herself (bc neither sevika nor VI went after her??or did he find her? when did he show up again? idk tbh?) and then uses the z-drive just to try and say the right thing to not make her do it and at the end to through it in viktors face ....................... and jinx showing up at the end barely changes anythign except give her another outfit/look and put her up there in order to do her 'sacrifice' .............idk it all felt so cheap

also maddie evil reveal was so .... was that really needed, like that especially? just so ambessa can tell caitlyn 'told you lol' ?

caitlyn knowing that jinx isnt gone and keeping it a secret is played as if thats a cool thing bc jinx isnt dead yippiiee but to me it makes it even worse (aside from the whole 'our story isnt over' bleurgh ouch eughgnen line of teasing more bc big corpo likes to leaves things open in case they make more expensives shows to serve nothing but the world most overblown champion and skin trailers and in case they dont well who cares) bc its just so ... slimy, am i supposed to see it as a happy end or win for vi bc she gets to be with caitlyn?? bc that is more important than her SISTER THE RELATIONSHIP TO WHICH THE ENTIRE SHOW WAS BUILT AROUND?????? adding the trope i hate 'group of people splitting up at the end bc thats clearly the best for them' FUCK THAT! Vi should have joined jinx and sevika (add isha and non robo vanderwick best case scenario, also ekko and they all get cool jinx outfits and everything, let jinx be a hero instead of a lil crazy footnote in viktors god complex) and get caitlyn on her side to fight piltover to free zaun (maybe with ambessa taking over piltover, mel returning and joining the forces of zaun forcing her to fight her even though it breaks ambessa bc she cares too much about mel or soemthing and jayce and viktor can battle it out gay boi style somewhere else or later interupting the main revolution fight idk im jsut yelling but this whole viktor god thing and robo war and whatever really went so off the rails and out of propoertion i hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh also vanderwick should get to kill singed)

..........and the line of Vi calling herself the dirt under caitlyns fingernails? ... what a line to end this stupid episode with, what a line, a zaunite calling herself dirt under her noble piltover lovers fingernails

(so ... in the end ... what was 'the arcane'? its not the void? its not jsut magic? its something fucked they created when trying to create magic but ... what was it? what where those creepy crawling things? why does it work like that? taking peoples minds? healing their bodies with metal parts but also hiveminding them? what was the hexcore in the end? what the hell was all that? where did the crystals even come from? skarners lore got erased so not there? did i just forget that? and also mages exist but also seem like a very unknown thing in the show? and then mel just is that? and the black rose? like??? what was the point??? it all just feels so pointless? what was this all for? a cheeasy happy ending where they fuck with time more to fix it all would have been satisfying to me than this ... this nothing)

okay i do have to do a mini (i call it mini now.. this is just letting my feelings about it out, so its spelled agressively bc im just so .. frustrated ... also not hate to the studio or the people working on it .. obviously >_>) rant about arcane-

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR ARCANE SEASON 2

its the most beautiful show ever produced, i mean it, its style, fortiche's (the studio) style, is just .... impossibly pretty, 3d and 2d, the animation is just so GOOD, the designs largely (like 95%) are too, the acting and sound design, the voice acting (at least the english one) is so emotional and good, the show in general is just good ... until the last episode

i have my own problems with riot declaring arcane the new canon out of nowhere and for no good reason since it was, im very sure, never conceived to be that, its a reinterpreation and works best as such, now literally everything is once again completely messed up, no one knows whats real and what isnt, no champion or story is safe, especially with the weird hexcore bullshit potentially erasing the VOID (whish is like ... half on which the canon was built on tbh) AND hextech- multiple champions being impossible to exist now .... but thats not what i wanted to talk about

i was pretty on board with everything the show did, though i wasnt a big fan of the whole hexcore stuff, but it all spiraled so far out of control, it just kept making everything worse, also with bringing in the black rose and leblanc, it kept piling stuff onto the plate despite them already compressing everything so drastically; espeically regarding viktor, but i kept my hope up even after season 2s act 2 bc it still seemed 'fixable', though not easily so

what i liked about it (in its writing) despite its pacing issues was that it was rather .. self contained for the longest time, focused on the characters and the class struggle of piltover and zaun, and doing so rather well imo, like it did and said things i did not expect riot to let through

i was worried with the alternate universe stuff that came with the escalating hexcore bullshit but held onto hope even until episode 8 and then ...man .. the last episode ... the fuck was that- like i hate timetravel and multiverses and whatever but the thing with ekko was done rather neatly ... they made all those chaarcter models and sets just for that short stuff and really .. was of little use other than getting heimerdinger out of the picture as well lmao maybe he will get his own series to advertise for 200 dollar skins in league hahaaaa but i guess the main point was to give ekko the z-drive ... which feels alot like what i feared about them forcing it to comply with the characters in game ,,,, even though that wasnt for everyone like warwick was done SO dirty after giving me hope in act two

everythings focused on the hexcore/arcane shit, theres the black rose shit (honestly i think it was a mistake bringing them in too bc .. noxus is its entire own region with so many champs and story itself that got connected via ambessa .. which was a new character the show made up until they made her a champ now .. its just too much to put into this one show already going at a breakneck pace), mel doing her bit with them then bam she mage now which felt like a champion teaser more than an organic part of the story, especialyl with how hard it got pushed later (poor little riots gotta sell more game cosmetics uwu), jayce just taking over control again and everyone going with it, singed reviving stupid version victor via using vander/warwick WHO WAS STILL ALIVE AFTER ISHA BLEW HERSELF UP TO STOP HIM FROM KILLING EVERYONE (which was ALREADY pretty cheap, but i guess jinx had to be even more suicidal than she already was heehoo), dont even ask me HOW, viktor was just whoops from corpse to im a cocoon now, ambessa being so obsessed with it, the entire class struggle being """"solved"""" by piltover and zaun fighting stupid viktors weird ass robot shitheads together and then acting like giving sevika a seat at the council is the solution to it, half the cast just dying horribly for honestly no reason?? ORIANNA being now i guess some weird viktor robot but without the mindcontrol part and singed just kinda ... winning i guess by giving her cocoon some goo of stupid viktors cocoon

it just all ... turning from this so drama, character and class struggle thing into weird ass dimension hopping magical world war that all gets solved bc we fought together once uwu AND it being a fucking timeloop WITHIN what ONE episode? and that being the ENDING (i know i know the hexcore bs was building up throughout the show but it still felt so .. unearned and sudden ... )

also i got personal gripes with the 'ending' bc .. was it REALLY an ending like they kept saying?? was it?? viktor, jayce, heimerdinger, jinx are just disappeared i guess, mel going back to noxus- the fucking 'our story isnt over' tease???? the last minute appearance of swains fucking raven???? pecking at something blue and shining like idk a hex crystal??? SHUT UP i dont want more to come, this story should have had its self containing ending, not this open ended bullshit that just reeks of corporate meddling bc they want their game to connect to their popular show as much as possible now so we gotta bring in as many teases and connections to other champions YIPPIEEEEE (yelling)

also if jinx is dead, wow, what a way to end her story, the traumatized suicidal character being tortured and tortured especially after seemingly having something good for once (i liked act 2 except for its ending the most bc ... man jinx was so enjoyable there, i loved her dynamic with vi and isha and half wolf vander warwick with the beast and man struggle i love alot, that part was genuinely beautiful, i wasnt a fan of the idea of idk ekko doing time stuff and them having a happy ending bc i just dont like going back in time to fix everything kinda stuff, but i would have much much prefered that, not changing the existing story into the perfect world where everythings happy (though i liked that part ... vander silco being gay husbands like that is just so goood) but to fix what is fixable in the present- them still having gone through alot but being able to live with it, so act 2 setup was honestly my favorite way to not invalidate everything and still have something happy .... but no we gotta kill the kid to make jinx even worse and vander/warwick too while we are at it

if shes not dead (given you see a blimp(?) flying away and her scribbles showing up and caitlyn looking at the blueprints of the hexgates) then ... ??? oh yeah lets make her leave zaun and just idk go be the main character in noxus or soemthing for the next show they are gonna do bc jinx is popular so putting her everywhere is a good idea!!!1!!11

ALSO since vander/warwick is my favorite .. i thought maybe after isha doing that, if they dont reverse it, hed get taken by singed again or ran away and turned fully werewolf like he is in the game (though i would have liked if they were able to be a weird family like in act2)- but no he just gets used as fuel for stupid viktor cocoon and then mind erased and made into the ugliest weird robot thing that looks more like galio than him JUST and i feel like it really is JUST to have Vi at the end do the scene that gets jinx 'killed' .. to lead into the 'more to come' teaser.. idk about you but that scene felt so .. forced, the typical oh no platform is slowly falling down but Vi suddendly gets emotional about weird ugly robot warwick (who conveniently comes back to life as ugly robot beast since his human mind got erased but not the beast??? i guess???) and completely ignores jinx yelling at her to get to safety, it felt so WEIRD to me (if you gotta do him like that at least let Vi listen to jinx, them embracing and then watchign emotionally as robo vanderwick falls into the hexgate thing .. that was still active somehow i guess??)

(poor viktor got done so dirty too .. i liked him .. until it all went weird wit hthe hexcore stuff ....... ..... also jayce weird speech to him .. why the FUCK did you not do that back in the cult camp instead of blasting him to bits, i get it he was fucked up from seeing the future, but then later hes just ... okay???? pretty fine all things considered??? and pretty aware of everything?? also his weird speech being all like vitkor actually you were perfect in your imperfection BITCH HE WAS SLOWLY DYING AN AGONIZING DEATH???? idk ??? it all feels so weird to me, like there episodes literally missing- ambessa dying also felt so unnecessary .. just so mel can take her place and go to noxus and have more shows maybe- )

i just .... and just like how i cant enjoy botw anymore after them fucking it all up with totk ... i dont know if i will rewatch arcane knowing it ends like that, what was that for, the most beautiful show ever made just to do a game of thrones ending in a single episode?

im so tired of it all ..... im so tired of being disappointed and feeling let down over and over no matter with how little expectations i go in with

this willl be the only arcane rant unless theres some .. big stupid reveal that gets me more frustrated than i am now, which i hope there isnt .. im tired of being and feeling like this .. i just want to enjoy things, everythings going to shit IRL and i cant even find something enjoyable to watch

[ofwannabees]

🍸 👅  😡 😢💀

𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎 !

send  🍸 for  a  tipsy AOL message  from  my  muse !

( 𝟐:𝟒𝟗 𝒂𝒎 ) 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: it’s so stupid. i was ar this party, right?? ( 𝟐:𝟒𝟗 𝒂𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: everyone was liek having such a good tine i felt so insivible

( 𝟐:𝟓𝟏 𝒂𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: i kept looking for yu ( 𝟐:𝟓𝟏 𝒂𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: li ke you were just hidin

( 𝟐:𝟓𝟓 𝒂𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: i  wish you had been there tonight. you always made me feel less invisib;e.

send  👅  for  a  v  flirty  AOL message from  my  muse !

( 𝟑:𝟐𝟒 𝒑𝒎 ) 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: “whenever you're going around thinking things can’t get any worse i just want you to remember that you make one persons day, in a million different ways, all the time okay?” ( 𝟑:𝟐𝟒 𝒑𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: do you remember when you wrote that to me, noah?

( 𝟑:𝟐𝟓 𝒑𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: you always have such a way with words ( 𝟑:𝟐𝟓 𝒑𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: i still read your letters all the time ( 𝟑:𝟐𝟓 𝒑𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: keep them by my bed like that book you were talking about

( 𝟑:𝟐𝟖 𝒑𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: i don’t know if anyone else’s words will ever make me feel as good about myself as yours do

( 𝟑:𝟑𝟒 𝒑𝒎 , 𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: what if no one else’s words ever make me feel as good about myself as yours do?

send  😡  for  a supes mad  AOL message from  my  muse !

( 𝟖:𝟐𝟖 𝒑𝒎 ) 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: stop trying to be my friend because we both know that’s just some stupid cop out ( 𝟖:𝟐𝟖 𝒑𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: i don’t want to talk to you. i don’t care if you say you’re here for me cuz you proved you won’t actually be when i need it ( 𝟖:𝟐𝟖 𝒑𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: i’m way too hot to be the second option you don’t burn the bridge with just in case it doesn’t work out with the one you blew me off for!!

send  😢  for  a  v sad  AOL message from  my  muse !

( 𝟏:𝟎𝟖 𝒂𝒎 ) 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: what was it that made you lose interest?

( 𝟏:𝟎𝟗 𝒂𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: you have rory and you seem happy so don’t be an ass and let me keep sabotaging myself ( 𝟏:𝟎𝟗 𝒂𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: think of it as constructive criticism because i can fix it

( 𝟏:𝟏𝟓 𝒂𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: it’s so stupid i used to tell myself you were just trying to use me to not be such a outsider when i was trying to not get attached to you ( 𝟏:𝟏𝟓 𝒂𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: i did it to plenty of people so it’s not like a totally far fetched idea

( 𝟏:𝟏𝟕 𝒂𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: i know audri & z only think i’m upset bc you’re not showering me in attention and i’ll never correct them ( 𝟏:𝟏𝟕 𝒂𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: but i think it’s because i can’t say that when you haven’t just cycled onto some other pretty popular blonde

send  💀  for  a  last  AOL message from  my  muse !

( 𝟏𝟎:𝟐𝟑 𝒑𝒎 ) 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: idk if youre gonna understand this bc you like have a heart and all that jazz but it was so much easier to do this last time ( 𝟏𝟎:𝟐𝟑 𝒑𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: yknow when she who shall not be named was actually just some psycho theater nerd

( 𝟏𝟎:𝟐𝟒 𝒑𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: because i like ?? idk didn’t care about most of them ( 𝟏𝟎:𝟐𝟒 𝒑𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: it sounds bad but they’d say the same about me so whatever. i’m not like sad about that

( 𝟏𝟎:𝟐𝟔 𝒑𝒎 , 𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕 ) 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: idk feels a little bit like a rip off to be dying for a bunch of people that tolerate me at best ( 𝟏𝟎:𝟐𝟔 𝒑𝒎 )  𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: what i’m trying to say is that the thought of losing you was never easy because you’re someone i care about more than anything

( 𝟏𝟎:𝟐𝟕 𝒑𝒎 ) 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: we’ve done this so many times it feels stupid sending “don’t want to die without saying this” messages but libby is making this plan and i totally don’t trust her ( 𝟏𝟎:𝟐𝟕 𝒑𝒎 ) 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: i always knew you were going to be my hardest goodbye

( 𝟏𝟎:𝟑𝟎 𝒑𝒎 ) 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: thanks for like treating me like a person ( 𝟏𝟎:𝟑𝟎 𝒑𝒎  , 𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕 ) 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: and liking me when no else did ( 𝟏𝟎:𝟑𝟎 𝒑𝒎 ) 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: and liking me before anyone else  ( 𝟏𝟎:𝟑𝟎 𝒑𝒎 , 𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕 ) 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: and not stopping when you got to know me

( 𝟏𝟎:𝟑𝟏 𝒑𝒎 ) 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: i guess i owed you a few more thanks than i thought so i’m gonna stop before i die of embarrassment instead

( 𝟏𝟎:𝟑𝟑 𝒑𝒎 ) 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚎: just... thanks for being one of the best friends i’ve ever had

[starbeyy]

how haikyuu characters would die on the oregon trail

this is so incredibly stupid. i guess you can imagine this as them playing the game but I like to think that it’s actually the characters in the old west dying from ancient diseases. it’s funnier that way. cw: cursing, lots of death (but it’s kinda funny)

Karasuno

Hinata // died from cholera. shit himself to death. literally the least glamorous way to die when you’re traversing in search of a better life.

Kageyama // he got bit by a venomous snake but we all know he’s the kind of bitch to get bit by a zombie then not tell anyone, so he’s walking around holding his wrist and then one day he just kinda drops dead and everyones like 🤨 huh?

Tsukishima // literally a broken arm. you can die from a broken arm on the Oregon Trail. and everyone is like a little convinced that someone poisoned him to make him die quicker cause they were so tired of his bitching..

Yamaguchi // broke his leg from jumping into a lake bc he didn’t want to pay for the bathhouse; he limped too much and got run over by the cattle that was pulling his covered wagon :(

Nishinoya // died from exhaustion. he just went too hard for too long and then he tried to wrestle a gator and dropped dead literally immediately after. mad respect tho that gator had it coming ✊🏼😔

Tanaka // another tragic exhaustion loss, but it’s only because he tried to carry Kiyoko the entire way. she tried to make him just let her sit in the covered wagon, but he INSISTED on carrying her piggyback. he made a huge deal of his death but Kiyoko was just like “this could’ve been easily avoided”.

Ennoshita // poor thing was doing a great job, more than halfway there, then he got a fever. a fever put this poor mfer down. i don’t even know what to tell you he just fevered himself to death.

Asahi // he was an early loss. he didn’t want to drink any of the river water or eat any of the meat they bought from ~suspicious~ men on the trail so he eventually died from hunger and thirst. like, you gotta eat. but he simply refused.

Daichi // i genuinely think he makes it to Oregon but then, idk tries to build a barn and accidentally lets the wood frame fall on him. like everyone knows him because he braved the entire Orgeon Trail then got K.O.’d by some 2x4s. rip.

Sugawara //  he got measles. like who gets measles? you get it from contaminated droplets and Sugawara just can’t figure out where he might’ve encountered those. except for when he kissed that cow that he didn’t know was dead until he got really close. genuine accident, i swear.

Nekoma

Kuroo // cholera :( he was kinda peeved about it but Kenma caught him one night writing out a bunch of possible jokes to be carved on his tombstone. they ended up just putting the piece of paper on top of his burial spot and calling it a day

Kenma // actually makes it to Oregon. no one knows how, he didn’t even really try. he’s just really good at games, I guess.

Lev // another snakebite lookin’ ass. i think he genuinely just wanted to pet the snake and didn’t think anything of it when its butt rattled. he though it was an invitation like when cats purr. his body didn’t hold up much longer once the venom ran its course.

Yaku // honestly? madness. he didn’t die so much as he tore off all his clothes and abandoned his cattle and covered wagon to run off into the prairie and start his new life as a crazy mountain man. he just shouted “you’re all fools” one day and no one’s seen him since.

Fukurodani

Bokuto // ate some bad wild fruits. it wasn’t hit fault, he was really hungry and he got too attached to his cattle and couldn’t bring himself to kill and eat him :(( but he had a nice little trippy moment before he bit the dust.

Akaashi // y’know what, I’m gonna say it, he makes it to Oregon. and he THRIVES. he builds his house and tends to his cattle. because that’s what he DESERVES. 

Aoba Johsai

Oikawa // HAHA he died of typhoid. and if you think this guy didn’t make the BIGGEST deal out of his death. it was absolutely shakespearean. like he was on the brink for three whole days. and he kept giving these long speeches to each of his friends and pretending to die in the middle. then he actually died in the middle of iwaizumi’s and it was kinda awkward.

Iwaizumi // I think he makes it to Oregon, but he like loses his arm to a bout of gangrene or something crazy. like it just rotted and then fell off. and now everyone in Oregon makes fun of him for only having one arm and it’s honestly kinda pissing him off

Kyoutani // let a snake bite him, just to see if he could take it. he could not. he died very shortly after but not before he could try to suck the venom out of his own arm. it was kind of terrifying, honestly. 

Yahaba // another brave soldier lost to cholera. no one knows how he caught it and he just kinda bitches about it all the time. Kyoutani pushed him out of the wagon once and he sustained some pretty nasty head trauma from that so it really sped up the process.

Matsukawa // he and Hanamaki thought it would be funny to eat literally any mushroom they came across. obviously this worked against them at some point and they both started dying horrible deaths.

Hanamaki // basically when he and Mattsun were on their deathbeads, they gave an engraving on a piece of wood for both of them to be put at the gravesites bc obviously they’re gonna be buried together. it isn’t until they’re six feet under and the pieces of wood have been stuck into the ground that the group looks really closely and sees that the pieces go together to spell “PENIS”. classic.

Shiratorizawa

Ushijima // listen he just looks like the kinda guy to catch typhoid. but he doesn’t tell anyone that he doesn’t feel well, he just kinda coughs on the low and wipes the blood from the crook of his elbow. when he finally dies, everyone just kinda looks behind them and is like “where’s wakatoshi?🤔”. he’s dead, ya’ll, like four miles back.

Tendou // i’m sorry he’s got that sickly victorian child look you know he was one of the first to contract something deadly. i think he like caught multiple diseases. he was collecting them like pokemon: diptheria, dysentery, typhoid, you name it. the worst thing about him dying on the trail was the fact that his body couldn’t be donated to science. no one had any clue how he lived so long with so many ailments coursing through him.

Goshiki // he broke his arm. he BROKE his ARM and then DIED. yes, that can literally happen in the game do not ask me how. there was no foul play, no overexertion, he just 💀. sorry, buddy.

Inarizaki

Atsumu // he drowned. you wanna know how?

Osamu // drowned while wrestling Atsumu. it was a friendly quarrel turned nasty fight as they rolled into the gross river water. everyone kinda stood around and watched but they couldn’t tell when the flailing limbs were cries for help rather than thrown punches. swallowed too much water. guess it’s better than contracting double-cholera with your twin brother.

Kita // exhaustion. this boy doesn’t stop walking. everyone is begging him to set up camp or lay in the covered wagon for a little while but he refuses, he just wants to keep walking. yeah he eventually just drops dead and everyone’s actually pretty sad about it.

Suna // the kind of bitch to fake diptheria. he acts all achey and feverish and says he just HAS to stay in the covered wagon. he says he can’t fish or hunt or do anything and then when someone actually catches diptheria, he’s forced out of the wagon bc he doesn’t wanna catch it. he does anyways. good riddance.

Aran // yeah he was the one who gave Suna diptheria. he didn’t mean to get it, but it was a little bit satisfying to watch Suna cringe as Aran gave him a big hug and called them “diptheria buddies”. they had a nice little double grave though <3.

[grimbeak]

What would happen if Jay was adopted by that time dude?

omg Krux yes-

also this 1 is gonna be plasma bc it’s a kai season and I just need some good Kai n Jay interactions where the former isn’t hating on the latter- 

So, Krux also went after Libber because she was just generally annoying and also he hated technology and wanted to get rid of anything that might power it 

Thing is... Libber was seriously preggo, and being the dumbass he is Krux didn’t know how to deal with that so he just let her have the baby, thought ‘oh look a human weapon i can use this’ and kidnapped surprise adopted bby Jay after killing Libber. Rip. 

Fast-forward seventeen years, Jay’s working at his ‘uncle’s’ museum. Whenever the ninja come over, he’s usually told to work in the back (Krux doesn’t want any of them to figure it out), but sometimes he sneaks out to go hang with them even though he secretly hates them all. 

Krux has told him about his plans, what happened with the other elemental masters, but it’s his own twisted version of it that makes it look like he’s in the right. Also, he told Jay that Libber was his sister and she dropped Bby Jay off somewhere for him to die, but Krux found him just in time. 

Jay also has to wear vengestone cuffs whenever he’s working/going out (which Krux rarely lets him do) to make sure no one sees his powers. 

Also I don’t believe that Wu has ever been to that museum in his life so he didn’t realize that Libber’s son was right that or that Krux was right there. 

Jay and Kai have been play-flirting with each other for years now (Kai’s was def real, Jay was faking it but he’s starting to not believe that but he can’t tell Krux otherwise Krux’ll be pissed), and basically all the ninja have just been hounding Kai to ask Jay out. 

But the season starts before that happens. 

Krux has told Jay ab Acronix, Acronix shows up, Jay and Acronix bond over not knowing shit ab technology (Jay was never really allowed to use it), also the fact that Acronix is a lot nicer to him than Krux is. 

For context, Krux is very emotionally abusive and a bit physically as well, because he’s an asshole. 

Acronix does not approve of his brother’s methods. 

So, onward goes the season. I don’t remember all that much ab it, so Ima just go off my memor- oh yeah the wiki exists right

Jay’s not allowed to help with the whole kidnapping Borg thing, in case he gets recognized. He thinks the snake things are very cool.

Acronix thinks Borg is cute because futureshipping is canon here. Jay decides to help his new uncle get a date despite the said date being kidnapped by them. 

Kai goes to the museum, Jay’s there to help him while Krux does Adult Things (taking over the world and dealing with snake idiots). Jay does not help him. Jay tries to fight him. With lightning! Kai realizes this is the lightning master they were told about. Worrying. 

Krux shows up like 30 seconds into their fight and is like ‘alr wtf’ and fights Kai. Kai is informed that his parents are traitors. Nya shows up to see a child and an old man beating up her brother, hoses them both. Jay does not like being hosed, thank you very much. Interferes with his lightning. Makes him sneeze. 

Krux, Acronix, Jay, and Borg get away. Kai has to deal with the fact that his parents were (apparently) traitors. 

Jay thinks ab Kai, and does his best to push down the feelings for him that he definitely has. 

Kai does the same.

Wu’s dying, no one actually cares except they do for some stupid reason. Ugh, feelings. 

When they go to get the timeblade Jay goes with Blunck and Raggmunk to supervise. 

...They still lose it. Krux is angry at Jay and an asshole to him. 

How the ninja get the timeblade without Jay? Dunno, Lloyd just runs really fast. 

,,,K so pretty much nothing important happens with Jay for the next few episodes so-

Skip forward to when Kai’s barging in on his parents, they do the whole ‘we;re not dead or evil you fucking idiot’ thing. Jay bursts in a few moments later, he’s attacking Kai, Nya, Ray, and Maya.

At this point Jay’s had a few conversations with Wu when he was guarding the old man, Wu’s pretty much stated that ‘hey you were supposed to be in multiple prophecies but you weren’t so we had to do it ourselves, after all this is over i can teach you stuff bcuz krux is kinda an asshole to you’.

Ray and Maya know that Libber’s dead and was killed by Krux, but Jay was always kept away from them. They tell him now, with a note from Libber to him for proof.

...Jay really doesn’t know how to feel right now. 

He runs off to Krux while Kai and the others do their whole thing, Krux is finishing up doing smthn before getting to the time-travel-dragon thing. 

Here’s how it goes:

J, bursting into K’s shop and shoving the note towards him: “This isn’t true, right? Tell me it isn’t true.” 

K, skimming the note: “What is thi-” He goes silent. 

J: “...No. No, you’re lying. It’s not true, right?”

K: “You were never supposed to find out.”

J: “You lied to me! You said she abandoned me, not that you killed her! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” 

K: “It was necessary. She was on the wrong side, I had you under my control.”

J: “You killed my mother, you fucking-” K hits him hard across the side of the face, and J flinches as he stumbles back. J goes silent.  

K: “Shut. Up. You’re being ridiculous, I raised you. I am your protector, you are my successor.” He puts his arm around J, who is still silent.

J, shrugging off K’s arm: “No. I’m. NOT!” He shoots a bolt of lightning at K, knocking the old man back across the room and into some shelves, which collapse on top of him. 

J: Pants for a moment, before his eyes go wide. “Kai.” He turns, running out of the room. “KAI!” 

annd that’s it for that segment

wow family drama

Also Jay’s had a few moments throughout the season where Kai and he were... close in more ways than one so he is very in love. 

Acronix isn’t going on the dragon thing bcuz he is too gay and in love with Borg so 

Krux gets the last timeblade after kidnapping the Smith family and also Wu, Jay has to assure the other ninja ‘hey so im on ur side now and very bi for kai where is he by the way’

No idea how Krux got there in time. Probably used a gold cart or smthn, 

Krux goes back in time with Nya, Kai, and Wu, while Acronix and Borg are in love elsewhere. Jay bonds with the rest of the ninja as Ray dies next to them. Fun times. 

Krux is stopped, things happens, plasma kiss. Yay. 

annnd,,, that’s it. 

...

Oh yeah and Jay lives with his nicer uncle and his very smart boyf in said boyf’s tower of electronics 

[apenapaperandadoofus]

I won't say I'm in love + Suit Saeran and in Suit Saeran's POV!??? I MEANNNNN??? And like the other believers singing the part of the muses??? YES? 😌 I love this prompt and this sounds sooo fun 😆

YES YES YES I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS AND THE BELIEVERS?! YESSSSSSSSSSS

Also a Jumin version is also incoming since two people asked for it hehe, but I just COULD NOT HELP BUT WRITE THIS ONE FIRST NANSSBBS ITS SO CUTEEE

Also I had a lot lf fun until the last part where I was editing and tumblr actually went fuck you and deleted everything so thanks for that

(also if someone idk wants to draw this or whatever hehe please tell me bc I will actually sell my soul to you.) I will try and uh draw a bit but as yall now, middle hands I don't rest know how to so PFT

Prompt from: give me a mm character and a song

I won't say I'm in love (Saeran x Fem!MC)

Song: I won't say I'm in love (Caleb Hyles)

"And don't you forget that you stupid toy." Saeran said, as he closed the door with a bang. "You all know the rules. Don't you dare touch my toy, and don't let anyone else come in here am I clear?" He told the believers, who stiffened and stuttered, "Yes Mr. Ra- Sorry, sorry! Mr. Saeran...."

Saeran scoffed at the believers but decided to go easy on them this time. After all, today he was in a pretty good mood thanks to his toy.

Or well, at least that what he thought before stopping in the middle of his tracks. Today he wasn't really able to see that scared, helpless look on her face. It was the exact opposite, today she was resilient, and actually fought back, and although he had to admit he liked the fiesty act at first, now it was getting really annoying. I mean, at this point she should be begging on her knees, asking him to please have mercy, that she love-

Wait.

Love??

Saeran's eyes widened as he realized what he has just imagined. He didn't want to hear her telling him how much she loved him. That she needed him, yes, the she was going to do whatever he wanted too, but that she loved him??

He didn't want anyone to love him. Angrily, screaming at himself (or well, at Ray, he had come to the conclusion that it was all that marshmallow's fault) he walked over to the garden. Nothing made him feel better than picking up flowers he knew Ray loved, and then destroying them immediately. It was a hobby of his to be honest.

As he walked through the beautiful garden, he had a mental conversation with himself, mostly about what he thought about....her.

Love....why would he want her to love him? It just didn't make any sense. Just why?

Because you love her.

A voice said, and Saeran immediately turned around, trying to find the idiot who said such a blatant lie.

Love her?

Love her?

In typical Saeran fashion, he scoffed and then tried to come up with a whole list of why his toy wasn't even worthy of his affection. Yet....when he tried to do it....his mind couldn't come up with anything.

Oh.

Oooh.

Oh fuck no.

Saeran ran a hand through his hair and sat on the nearby fountain. He noticed that it was right in front of her room, which still seemed to have the lights on.

Seriously what's that idiot doing awake still....and hey, why do I care?! Seriously, that airhead Ray might've fallen for her, but I'm definetly not going to follow the same path as that dumbass.

He sighed.

"Seriously....If there's a prize for rotten judgement....I guess I've already won that.

No girl is worth the aggravation

That's ancient history, been there, done that." He groaned as he buried his face in his hands and-

"Who d'you think you're kidding

She's the earth and heaven to you."

"HUH?!" Saeran quickly looked up, only to find....the gardener tending to the plants. Hm, the lack of sleep must be making him hear, and especially think, crazy things. He sighed and went back to placing his head on his hands but then-

"Try to keep it hidden,

Honey we can see right through you

Boy you can't conceal it

We know how you're feeling

Who you thiiiinking of!"

Saeran immediately stood up and looked around the garden once again. "Oi whoever is in here, you have three seconds to run before I go and rip your head off."

Silence.

Fucking finally. He thought, as he took a deep breath in and tried to go back into his mediative state.

He turned around to sit back on the corner of the fountain, when a believer appeared out of nowhere.

"The hell are you-" Saeran started, but the believed walked over to him with one finger in the air.

"Aghhhhhh" he said as he stopped in front of him. "Saeran....my boy....you're in love."

"WHAT!? NO WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU, AND WHY ARE YOU EVEN- WHO DO YOU- I-' he stuttered, when anither believer came out of the bushes and placed a hand on Saeran's shoulder.

"Aw baby boy, why don't you just go and admit it?"

Another believer appeared from the other side and sighed dreamily. "It's a beautiful thing, so you shouldn't be afraid." The believer said, with a very high pitched voice.

"WHY ARE YOU-HUH!?"

"Love is a beautiful thing Saeran." Saeran heard a deep voice say in front of him, and he almost punched the believer in the face as he came out of the fountain, yes, wet robes and all.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?" Saeram screamed, but the believers (?) Only laughed and then proceeded to get together and strike a really weird group pose.

"We are...YOUR OWN PERSONAL MUSES! AND WE WON'T LEAVE, UNTIL YOU FINALLY REALIZE THE TRUTH!" They all said.

Saeran, who was now pretty annoyed because of the self proclaimed 'muses' and also because he forgot to bring his gun so now he had nothing to threaten them with and let out his anger and insecurities, glared at the group of people and crossed his arms.

"And what is this so called truth?" He asked. The muses smiled even more

"THAT YOU ARE IN.....LOVE!!!!"

Saeran swore he could see confetti suddenly fall from the sky and he let out a sarcastic chuckle.

"Yeah right. With who? MC? Please. I'd never be in love with her."

"But you are!" One of the muses said.

"Just admit Saeran!" Another one chipped in.

He was taken aback for a minute before he went back to giving them muses a deal glare. "I'm not admiting anything. This is stupid seriously, just go away."

"No! We won't! Until you say that you're in LOVE!* The deep voiced muse said and Saedan raised an eyebrow.

"What me?! Seriously?! In love? Please. I'm leaving if you're not, I'm not dealing with this bullshit."

Saedan quickly walked over to another side of the garden, when suddenly the muses appeared in front of him. He turned around, only to find the muses once again.

Everywhere he went, he saw them, and everytime his patience kept running thinner and thinner.

"JUST SAY YOU'RE IN LOVE SAERAN!"

He stopped in his tracks and turned around, stomping his foot.

"NO! No chance no way I won't say it, no...no!" He shook his head side to side and glared.

The muses groaned. "You swoon, you sigh, why deny it? Oh oh."

Saeran blushed. "B-because, it's too cliche! I won't say I'm in love!" He angrily walked over to a bush and glared at the flowers as if that would suddenly help him get rid of his problems. (It was a bush of forget me not's, one of Ray's favorite, ironically it seemed that's where his body took him, probably out of instinct.)

Angrily, he took one out and glared at it.

"Ugh...I thought my heart had learned its lesson...It feels so good when you start out. My head is screaming 'Get a grip boy..." He angrily threw the flower on the ground and stepped on it and let out an exasperated sigh. "Unless you're dying to cry your heart out...." He mumbled and then cursed as he saw the muses again.

"UGH BOY YOU CAN'T DENY IT!! Who you are is how you're feeling!"

"I don't even know what that means-! I-WHY ARE YOU SINGING- I DON'T LIKE HER!""

"Baby we're not buying!"

One of them (it also has to be the one that came out of the fountain due to the wet sleeves) poked Saeran's cheek and smirked.

"Hon we saw you hit the ceiling"

Saeran felt himself blush even more, a gasp escaping from his lips.

"Face it like a grown-up, when you gonna own up that you got, got, got it bad!"

Saeran groaned as he saw the believersline up in a single file and then proceed to do that dance move where each jumps out one after the other.

"God!! No chance no way I won't say it, no no!!!" Saeran stomped his foot once again and shook his head, like a toddler, and the muses rolled their eyes.

"She's just...she's so annoying. I hate her, I hate her face, her hair, her smile, the way her eyes light up when she talks, or how happy she looked when I showed her the garden..."

One if the muses laughed, bringing Saeran out of his trance.

"Give up, give in, check the grin you're in love!" They teased him, which made Saeran gape at them as if he was very offended.

"This scene won't play I won't say I'm in lo-UGH!!

"We'll do it until you admit you're in love!"

"Leave me alone!" Saeran stomped off towards the other side of the garden and the muses followed.

"You're way off base I won't say it...." The muses glared at him with a skeptical glance and he glared.

"Get off my case I won't say it" he growled and say on a bench near by, crossing his arms with his face all red.

"Boy don't be proud it's okay you're in love."-

.

.

"Mister Saeran...Mister Saeran!"

Suddenly Saeran looked up to see the believer who was gardening before. "You fell asleep on the fountain...shall I get you anything?"

Saeran scoffed and pushed the believer's hand from his shoulder.

"Don't you dare to ever touch me again. Go away, I was just- just- ugh! Leave before I tell the others to prepare another cleansing ceremony."

The believer quickly nodded. "Yes sir, of course! I apologize!!!" He quickly left and Saeran watched as he ran away, and then he sighed.

Suddenly he found himself staring at....her room, and for some reason, he felt a very deep part of him glad that she was finally getting some sleep. Then, his eyes widened and he let out a sardonic laugh.

"Fuck....."

He looked back to the flowers and sighed a small, sad smile on his face. "Well....at least out loud....I won't say I'm in..... love."

The End

BONUS:

Believers: *Looking out from the window at the garden and Saeran.*

Believer N°643: Hey he's been sitting there for a while...

Believer N°262: yeah almost about 2 minutes and 32 seconds....

Believers:.....

Believer N°643: d'you recon we should wake him up?

Believer N°262: and immediately get massacred? Nah man, I have a wife, a kid! You wake him up.

Believer N°643: what no dude I don't want to die, I have dreams!

Believer N°262: *whispering but also yelling* YOU'RE IN A CULT YOU'RE NOT SUPPODED TO HAVE DREAMS WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?

Believer N°643: THEY'RE IMPORTANT

Believer N°262: WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT!?

Believer N°643:....... *Looks at the camera*

Believer N°262:.....

Believer N°643: Iwsnsssnsnsns

Believer N°262: what?

Believer N° 643: I...I want to start a band! It's...it's a work in progress but Carol and Jimmy have already agreed. It's going to be...it'll be cult based... probably.

Believer N°262: you....YOU STARTED A BAND AND DIDNT TELL ME!?

Believer N°643: IM SORRY

Believer N°262: I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS! WHAT ELSE ARE YOU KEEPING FFOM ME!?

Believer N°643: THE CHILD ISNT YOURS IM SORRY

Believer N°262: THAT- YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY ANSWE- wait... Bartholomew the Second isn't mine...?

Believer N°643: *slowly shakes his head* ...no

Believer N°262:....dude.

Believer N°643: IT WAS A SATURDAY NIGHT AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE SAVIOUR DOES ON SATURDAY'S, WE HAD WAY YOO MUCH ELIXIR. ALSO IM YOUR FATHER.

Believer N°262: what THE FU-

Announcer: Join us next week in The Cult, it's like The Office but it's actually a cult, made my someone who has been writing for about an hour non-stop and it's actually 1AM in her time zone so she's clearly already loosing her mind, GOOD NIGHT FOLKS

*audience applause*

*The Office theme but cult version starts playing as the credits roll, THE END*

(I'm sorry I don't know what the fuck this is but my fingers just started typing it on their own I'm sorry pffff

[jaffacakerebellion]

I posted this on Saturday but I really need people to hear this

There was a protest in my city today, by a group called ‘white rose’. They were protesting lockdowns, masks and vaccinations. They’d stuck up stickers all over a certain area, outside a library, near a university campus, and around a park. It scared the shit out of me, seeing the people in town, with about 10 police officers keeping the 25-50 protesters in a tiny (and incovenient tbh) space, not too far from where they’d put up the stickers. As I was walking home, I found some of the stickers, and tore down as many as I could see.

Some of the stickers were obviously theirs- meme templates from reddit, claiming the government was lying about the pandemic to stop people from ‘living their lives’, saying ‘the media is the real virus’ and ‘if you tell a lie enough times it becomes the truth’ and all sorts of shit. Some other stickers were much more inconspicuous- little round ones with a pair of hands tenderly holding a blue dove. Around the edge they said ‘I do not consent to another lockdown’ and ‘I do not consent to get vaccinated’. This was very similar to some of the banners they were holding, and some were wearing ‘FREE HUGS’ t-shirts.

The one sticker which stuck out to me most is one which said something like ‘how do you think the German people felt when the Nazis were taking over, with no power to stop them?’ This is the same rationale the Nazi Party used at the time to gain ‘support’- convince people there is no other way, that their system is the strongest, the right system, how will you disprove us? They scared people into their system, turning vulnerable people into fascists. The White Rose is employing Neo-Nazi thinking. To be honest, it was fucking terrifying.

After they were presumably done, they started coming back to the park where they’d already posted plenty of stickers. It’s a hot Saturday afternoon, so lots of people are in the park, families, children, and I’m busy ripping these stickers (most of them about half the size of a bumper sticker) off bins and signposts. Now, at this point I’ve already been confronted by:

- a woman with red hair (dyed red) in a black suit. She asks me what I’m doing. I tell her that some people have been spreading misinformation, and she recalls the demo in town. She agrees ‘yeah, that did look kinda like misinformation. huh. well, cool, okay’. She may just be bad at interacting with people, but there was something pointed, and I don’t think that she could pluck up the courage to tell me to look them up and find out jus how wrong I am. She didn’t look much like the other supporters.

- a woman in a ‘FREE HUGS’ t-shirt. When she asked me ‘why are you taking those down’, I already had a headache and didn’t fancy an argument, so I said ‘they’re the wrong ones.’ She couldn’t hear me, because so many people were walking past. She yelled ‘what?!’ so I repeated ‘THEY’RE THE WRONG ONES’, nodded affirmatively, and walked in the opposite direction. This, of course, was nonsense, but it left her looking incredibly fucking confused, and she eventually just walked away, which I was thoroughly delighted about, as I wanted to return and take more stickers down. I later realised that the men walking past and making so much noise was probably most of the others at the protest, like 25 men and me and her in an underpass. If they’d have seen me taking the stickers down, who knows what would’ve happened. (yes I know I made some bad decisions today and it would’ve been my fault but fuck it, when a dog shits on the pavement someone’s got to clean it up)

-Two bald middle aged white men, both holding pints. One of them yelled ‘what are you taking them down for? Read what’s on them, you might actually learn something!’ I just said nothing and stared at him as he walked away, whilst continuing to crumple one up, which I’d just taken off a railling.

- Some old Scottish guy and his family. I pretended to be taking them down bc the QR codes didn’t work and the sticker had to be replaced. He asked me why I had a mask on, I lied and said my mum wouldn’t let me out of the house without it and took it off. He told me what to go and tell my mum, whilst standing way too close, with his family gathered around him (like 6 people in total, including 2 kids). He was the reason I took a COVID test when I got home, alongside the blaring headache.

-Another family, this time the patriarch was a skinhead in a black polo shirt and jeans, same height as me (kinda short). Just like the others I was confronted by, his regional accent was very strong. Again, I said the QR code didn’t work. I started to walk away this time, kinda scared, and all his family walked up into the park, but he left his teenage daughter behind for a bit to make sure I didn’t come back (how brave). I came back anyway, but they wanted to go into the park and have fun.

But the last pair is what got me. One of them claimed to have done a biomedical science degree at the local university back in 2005. He was the only non-white person involved, and the only one who had anything scientifically based to say. However, the more I asked him about the degree he said he had, the more he started backing physically away from the conversation, claiming he had to go. The discussion I had with him lasted maybe 20 minutes, during which he confessed a belief that big pharma was dishonest and covered up heinous activity, which I agreed was absolutely right, but these ideas came to the total wrong conclusion.

I’m not explaining this very well anymore, it’s late and I’ve still got a headache, but his strong short white skinhead friend kept walking away then coming back, even at one point claiming that he was going to go and get someone. When I asked the first if he agreed with the non-scientific way the first man’s ‘friends’ were talking, and the fact that he is coming at this argument from such a different angle, he just changed the subject. It was around that time that I noticed that he wasn’t blinking, and that he was wearing a ‘Guardians 300′ t-shirt. I’ve since looked them up. They’re a cult. Nobody’s talking about it. He tried explaining the science to me, and I said that I don’t know enough about science to understand what he was saying, but tried to change the subject away from science- it just clearly wasn’t about that for any of the protesters except him.

Anyway, after he was done talking to me and claimed he had to go (right after I claimed to know a few lecturers in the university (I don’t but it was worth a try to see if he was bluffing) and started questioning him on who he knew), I turned around and just kept on taking off those fucking stupid stickers, including two which the skinhead had stuck on while we were chatting. They saw me doing this. I wanted them to see it, but now I’m not so sure. It was a dangerous move.

When people feel certain of something, you have to listen to them to let them air their uncertainties and change their mind. They were aware of this. I was aware of this. Neither of us listened much to each other. I was, to be honest, freaking out all the way home. What the fuck? I’d only seen people say this online, usually Americans, I’d heard about them on the news too. Suddenly I was getting looks from strangers, whilst taking down these stickers, and honestly had no idea who was who, or what they thought of me. And anyway, I’m trans, and have the fear of being looked at funny for that compounded with the fear of what a member of this group could do, it was terrifying.

I think there are very few things which stand between a person coming to a logical conclusion about what’s going on and a less logical conclusion and getting sucked into dangerous territory, although in this day and age there aren’t many logical things left. I’ve experienced the Dunning-Kruger effect at school, but some may never have experienced that, to feel like their understanding of something can only ever go so far.  I’m alright with saying ‘I don’t know’ and admitting that I’m not an expert, but I feel like all these people feel like they do have to know everything, and their genuine, valid fears have turned them to these crazy ideas because they’re nicer than the truth. I got told by a lot of people to ‘do your research’, but I didn’t say that to them, because they may well do their own research, but not necessarily using reputable sources. 

This is how Fascism works. If I had the same beliefs as them, I know I’d probably be doing the exact same things- trying to spread awareness. They genuinely think that they’re making a positive difference when they ‘change people’s minds’. Either that or those stickers were put up to get ripped down, to show their followers that ‘everyone is out to get you’. I was definitely scared most, however, by how close we all are in this day and age, to being them. I’ve attended protests, argued online, sent people links, spread my views. Most of my friends and I share the same views, we share each others’ information, when something’s wrong we blame ‘them’, or ‘the government’. These radicalised people were people I’d probably passed in the street before, who I’ve bought bread next to or admired their dog in the park. I met the next Nazis today, and they looked just like everyone else.

[jay-and-dean]

Frozen Sleep

(Dean x Reader)

This is a request by @acklesterritory​ :

So I'm just wanna take my chance and request a Dean x Reader imagination where the reader got hypothermia and Dean had to rescue her and take care of her all by himself bc there is a scary storm out there and Cas is somewhere else doing angel stuff. And all he got as help is Sammy who's arm is already broken in the last haunt. All angst and fluff. May I ask? 😍

Words :  4.4 k

Warnings : Hurt reader obviously. A hint of Angst. Fluff. Fluffy Smut.

Words : 2.4 k

Note : I wanted to do this one  because I do have a condition that makes me have hypothermias easily and so I really hate cold.

This is written both on Reader and Dean’s Pov

Want to read more => ***MASTERLIST***

____________________

Reader’s Pov

             One step after the other. One step after the other… One step…

Dean is so strong, look at him, his footsteps crush the snow like it was nothing, when it’s basically biting my legs with each movement.

           He’s holding my hand and it’s the only part of my body that is not horribly painful. The wind is made of needles, each snowflake that touches me feels like somebody was beating me up… And right now, thousands of them are harassing my body all at once, every second.

           He walks too fast… And his legs are so long, how am I supposed to follow ?

           Sam tells him something but I can’t hear it… the wind is deafening and the pain… It’s screaming in my ears.

           Dean turns toward me, but I can’t see him clearly because of that darkness everywhere, or is it in my eyes ? Even the threatening white of that harrowing snow is dark.

“Y/n ? Look at me… Less than two miles, I promise…”

I try to answer, to show him I’m strong, but no words come out of my mouth.

“I know you’re cold… We… We will make it okay ? You stay with me sweetheart.”

 Dean’s Pov

             Sam is right, she’s won’t make it to the cabin, not like that. Her eyes are slightly rolling and she’s having trouble to speak : Hypothermia.

“I know you’re cold… We… We will make it okay ? You stay with me sweetheart.”

Stay with me… Y/n stay with me I’m begging you.

           The storm is becoming worse, and walking against it seems almost impossible, but we have too. She has no one, no one but me. Our phones are dead, cold killed their batteries, and there is no service anyway. Sam is hurt, his arm in that stupid cast, his ribs broken… I don’t even know how he can still be walking without any complain.

“I will carry her” I tell him but he shakes his head.

“Dean… She’s having hypothermia, i-if you carry her… she will fall asleep.”

“Son of a bitch !” I yell, but the storm suffocates my anger.

           She’s shaking like she was going to convulse, her hand is so cold that I feel like tugging at a corpse arm.

           I’m so scared. I’m so angry. And I’m so cold.

           Y/n, she… She can’t die. I can’t lose her, and Sam knows that, that’s why he’s looking at me like someone had shoot my puppy. Dammit yesterday morning, yesterday morning I did it again…

“Y/n, you hold on, I need you to hold on” I get closer, wrapping my arms around her waist, like I could give her a little of my heat. I would give it all of it if I could. “Hold on sweetheart.”

 Reader’s Pov

             I wish I could feel him, when he wraps that strong arm around me, but I don’t feel anything but pain and we wear too much clothes anyway.

           I would give anything to feel him. To feel is skin stick to my fingers because of sweat, his muscles roll under my palms while he buries himself between my legs.

That’s where I love him the most : between my legs. And I never told him.

           I feel dizzy, and the snowflakes don’t melt on my skin anymore, so my lashes are covered in them. I can’t see clearly.

           What happens when we die ? I mean, I know what happens after… I have that privilege, -or maybe it’s a curse-. But just… dying. I know a man or two that actually lived that a few times… I could ask…them -I’m so tired-… if… that… feels… like… that…

“Y/n !” Dean’s voice make my heart beat suddenly too fast, and too strong. “Sammy, she really can’t walk… If we don’t make it to the cabin…”

His voice is different, I never heard it like that. He’s worried, scared maybe even, and I know him, he feels responsible, he always does.

           I want to tell him everything is going to be okay, but I never lied to Dean, and right now, I feel like I’m dying.

           I can’t. Dean has suffered so much, he can’t lose another friend, not in his arms, not again… Who will wake him up from nightmares ? Who will make him homemade pies ? Who will be here, when he doesn’t want to spend the night alone ? When he needs the comfort of caresses and kisses, when he needs to hide from the world deep inside of me ?

“I can w-walk” I say, the air ripping my lungs coming out of it.

But my heartbeats… They’re singing a song I don’t know.

 Dean’s Pov

             I can feel my jaw tremble and I have no idea if it’s cold, or that awful fear.

“I can w-walk” she mutters weakly, but after ten more steps, she falls on her knees in the deep snow before I can catch her. And seeing her body fail like this, it rips my heart in half.

“Y/n !”

I squat to take her in my arms, and let out a groan of effort when I lift both our bodies. I feel weak, and the cold is biting my legs, but I would carry her across the world if I had too.

           Bridal style, in my arms, she rests her head on my shoulder, but with a harsh shake of it, I make her move it, forbidding rest.

“Don’t fall asleep, talk to me. If you stop talking, I put you on the ground again, understood ?”

“Y-yes…” she whines.

I know she’s hurt, I know it’s so hard for her, and I want to cry just knowing how she must be struggling.

“I sh-shouldn’t have eaten all those pancakes f-for breakfast…” she tries to joke. “I wouldn’t be so heavy…”

“You’re as light as a feather sweetheart.”

Sam looks at us, that pained look on his face, he can see my thighs tetanize from cold and effort. He comes closer and wipes her pale face where snow is covering her quickly.

“People with hypothermia feel distracted, and tend to lose some memories, Y/n… Why don’t you try to focus on a memory, and tell us” he says kindly, blowing on her hands.

“Me-memory…” she whispers so low I wouldn’t have known if I wasn’t watching her blue lips. “I remember s-summer…” she starts.

“Of course you do” I fake a smile when she searches my face.

“That ghost in Tennessee… D-Dean was sick.”

“Damn rabbit food !” I grunt, remembering how bad that weird fruit had made me.

Sam wipes her face again, his good hand holding hers.

“I had to stay with you all night… Y-you w-were puking your guts…” she closes her eyes a little too long so I shake her a little, panic immediately electrocuting my spine.

But she doesn’t open them right away.

“Y/N !”

“A-and…” she continues like she hadn’t realize she passed out for a second. “Th-That was the first time I slept in his-your… Dean ?”

“I’m here” I state, almost choking on the frozen tears in my throat. “Keep talking beauty, we’re almost there.”

“What was I s-saying ?”

“That I got sick in Tennessee” I answer, frowning at Sam.

“Yeah… I slept next to you… and you t-took me in your arms.”

           I did. I took her in my arms that night. I had dreamed of doing it, and the night I finally overcome my fear of getting attached, I was sweating and smelled like vomit… I never stopped since then, I never stopped keeping her close. Struggling between the need of her and the fear of getting really involved, I kept snuggling up in her arms and pushing her away to protect her ; look where it got her.

“I wish I could perceive your smell… I-it always calms me… But I c-can’t smell anything. Or… maybe… the feathers are too heavy…”

“Y/n !” Sam calls. “Hey ! Look at me ! I have a memory I would like to share with you.”

He looks up at me, but his eyes are piercing me like he was praying to God knows who that this will catch her attention.

“Remember that night Dean got drunk and went out by himself ?”

I frown, and look down at her, begging my legs to make it to the cabin, counting in my head, if I can do three steps more, it means I can do ten, if I can do ten… Fuck why do my knees hurt so much, like ice was stuck on the cogs of it. Just like her, I try to focus on the story Sam is telling. She’s fighting so hard.

“I do…” she whines, like she was crying.

“Why did he left ?” Sam asks, slightly slapping her face now. The gesture makes me bite my cheek.

Stay with me, Y/n…

“He was in pain… I-I don’t remember why…”

I swallow hard. I was in pain because nothing felt right, because mom was gone, and Jack was gone… And I wanted her but I couldn’t do this anymore : Take her like she was mine, mark her body to feel like she belongs to me… And watch the hickeys from the other side of the room in the morning, while she doesn’t even try to hide them anymore.

Like yesterday morning, when I had to push her arm to get up and dress, when I saw the hurt in her eyes as she watched me leaves her again without a word…

“No need to remember why” Sam keeps talking to her. “What did you do that night ?”

What did she do ? What does he mean ?

“I… looked for a s-spell…”

“What spell ?” my brother insists.

“A spell t-to take his pain away…”

 Reader’s Pov

             My heart is not beating as usual and my legs are burning, like they were in flames… It’s been worse though, the pain is fading a little, or I’m just turning off… breathing is becoming hard. I feel like what Sam is asking is way beyond my strength. I just want to let go so bad.

“A spell t-to take his pain away…”

“Yes… Because seeing Dean suffer is unbearable, remember ? That’s what you told me that night. You were desperate to see him sad” Sam’s voice reaches me despite the wind.

I just wish Dean was here now… If I die and go to Heaven, I’m sure my Heaven will be him between my legs… I want that. I want that so bad. I let my head go back a little but I’m suddenly shaken…Wait… I open my eyes and see him just above me. My Dean. I could I forget…

“Now imagine the amount of pain he will feel if you let go right now” Sam says and I frown. “Imagine if you die in his arms now.”

I feel a sob escape my lips, but I’m not sure I’m actually crying, because my tears must have frozen.

“That’s unfair…” I whine, fighting against a cold that suddenly became more painful than it ever was, the frozen flames biting my muscles hard. “I can’t…”

“You can sweetheart” Dean says. “I need you with me.”

 Dean’s Pov

             Sam asked her to enumerate things, the seven deadly sins, the ways to kill a vampire, her favorite books… And she’s struggling, she’s so brave.

           My heart is in my throat. Y/n, she likes me a lot, I know that, I can feel it in the way she’s always trying to protect me from everything, in the way she always comes to my defense, in the way she comes so easily when I touch her, in the way she clings to me at night…

           But I don’t like her, I love her. Maybe she can feel it in the way I always push her away after having her close…

           What Sam said, what she said… If she loves me…

           I never knew that feeling. I mean, I keep on saying I am used to losing dear ones, but, one doesn’t get used to it. And, it was always so brutal, feeling someone slowly drift in my arms is different. Worse in a way.

And it’s Y/n…  

           My eyes widen and take a deep shaky breath.

“The cabin, sweetheart ! We made it !”

But she doesn’t answer.

“Y/n !” Sam calls but she’s not reacting to his little slaps. “Dean, we have to hurry.”

             When I enter the cabin, I stop counting my steps, and my legs let go. I fall heavily on my knees, felling the wood cut through my soaked jeans and frozen skin.

“Dean !” Sam calls, but all I can do is cling to her, and push her cheek with my nose.

“I’m okay” I groan. “Just close the door ! We need to warm her up !”

Sam closes the door and the wind gets trapped outside, I sigh in relief.

           With trembling hands I put her on the floor and starts taking her soaked jacket off, this wasn’t made for this weather. Underneath, her sweater is wet too, so I take it off. My own fingers are numb from that horrible cold so I struggle a little.

           Without asking anything, Sam takes the backpack I was carrying off of my back. Making me grunt at the impossibility of taking her clothes off more for a second.

“Y/n… Y/n… Don’t be in a coma… Please wake up… I’m begging you…” I keep calling her while I finally take her t-shirt off, leaving her pale body in just her pants and bra.

           I take my coat off and check my flannel, it’s not wet. Sam hands me the blanket that’s on the cabin’s bed, and I can see he hesitates to tell me to put her on the bed. I will. But right now, I’m not sure I can stand, and she needs to get rid of those damp freezing clothes as soon as possible.

           As I try to dress her with my flannel, I freak out : her inert body looks like she was already dead. My tears start to fall on her.

“Please baby… Help me with that okay…” but her arms fall like I’ve seen so many times on other people, less important people… “Please. You can’t leave me… I love you Y/n…”

           A sudden feeling of warmth wraps us with a comforting light. Sam managed to light up a fire in the old fireplace.

“Bring her here” he says.

I close the flannel on her body and let out a growl when I get up, just to make a few steps and fall on my knees again, cutting deeper in my skin, next to the fireplace. Her lips are blue. Sam checks her pulse while I wrap her in the cover, squeezing her tight against me.

“She’s here, she just fainted because her heart is slow” Sam says, sitting in a sore whine next to us.

He starts undoing her shoes and she whines a little when he tugs at it, taking her socks with it. That little sound is the first clue of her life, and my frozen heart starts to melt.

“Jesus Sam” I say when I see how blue her feet are.

I push her pants off, making sure her panties stays in place. Her legs are as blue as her feet, and bruises are forming on it from the blood not running correctly in her veins.

“You must be in so much pain, baby…” I whine, holding back my sobs.

           I cover her legs with the cover and my brother takes her feet between his thighs.

           Silence.

“She’s going to live Dean” Sam finally says in a serious frown, and only now, I notice how shaking he is, how soaked his hair.

“There are other blankets, Sammy, and pillows, look” I point at the couch with my chin, where another blanket and some dusty pillows lay. “Bring them all, take the blanket for you.”

He gets up and comes back with everything in his giant arms, even the couch’s big pillows.

“Your knees are bleeding, Dean” he says. “And you’re in your t-shirt.”

I nod, not really listening, she moved her face on my chest.

I push her hair, and notice some strands are frozen. So I bend my head, and put my lips on her forehead, determined to give her all my heat.

           Sam is trying to get things out of the bag, but his wounded body fights against him. He wants to give me water, but I won’t take my lips off her skin.

“We made the worst of it already, Dean, we’re only a few miles away from the Impala, the road and that diner where we had breakfast” Sam says. “We have food and water, so we will be okay.”

I’m not if she doesn’t wake up.

           All I can think of is all the times I didn’t enjoy waking up next to her. Now she might never come back from her frozen sleep, and I would give anything to come back to yesterday morning.

“I love her, Sam.”

“I know” he sighs.

“No I mean, I’m in love with her.”

“Yes, Dean, I know. You should tell her that. You will. Okay, Dean ? She’s not dead, she’s strong. You will tell her.”

 Reader’s Pov

             I open my eyes and the light seems to burn them in the corner. Something very warm is on my forehead, like a piece of ember, but soft.

           Little drops of water fall on my face… Where am I ?

           It suddenly comes back like a scream in my head, the storm, the pain, the snow digging holes to my flesh.

           Those drops are soft and warm. And my body still hurts so I’m not dead. I remember promising Sam I won’t, for Dean. My Dean. He’s cold too, where is he ?

“Dean…” I whisper.

“Y/n ?” the piece of soft ember moves and the smell of the man I love reaches my senses. “I’m here, Sweetheart.”

           I look up and he is here, just above me, tears on his face. He puts his forehead on mine and kiss the corner of my mouth.

           It’s night, it was not supposed to be night before a few hours…

“I can’t move” I say, still a little confused.

“Yes, you’re weak and I’m holding you close, look : You’re in a big blanket and there is a fireplace.”

“You’re shaking” I say. “And you’re in a t-shirt… Come in the cover with me.”

He chuckles, a few more tears reaching his chin.

“Don’t worry for me, Y/n…”

“I always do” I say, trying to move because I know how stubborn he is.

“Okay, okay…” he sighs.

           While he laboriously moves his body in a grunt, my mind slowly becomes clearer, and I turn my head to see Sam sleeping on the couch, with a too little blanket on his giant body.

“Is Sam okay ?” I frown.

“Yes… He’s just exhausted with those wounds and all, I gave him a strong pill for pain, it might have knocked him out, he tried to stay awake but he drifted at some point” Dean says, taking the blanket off of me to sit me between in legs. “I hope he’s not too cold, but I think the fire is keeping this room at a habitable temperature…”

I struggle to stay straight, so I let go my head back on his chest. He puts the both of us in the large blanket and wraps his arms around me. His body’s heat is like a bath, his thighs caging mine, his chin on my head. Paradoxically, I never felt so safe.

He will probably ignore me tomorrow, he will most likely suddenly act like we always were those simple friends, and make our passionate nights disappear with a friendly peck on my cheek ; but I don’t care…

           He grabs my weak legs to bend them against me, to make sure my feet are under the covers, and gently blows with his mouth wide open against my neck, to cover it with his hot breath.

           I can still fell the held back sobs against my back.

“Dean… Why are you crying ?” I dare, grabbing his hand in mine under the blanket.

He doesn’t answer, of course he doesn’t. I sigh and squeeze his hand in my still cold fingers, just to let him know that I am here.

“I thought you were going to die…” he whispers, his husky but smooth voice, so close to my ear. “You were frozen and… And sleeping this sleep that looks like death.”

“I’m sorry” I say, not sure what I can tell.

“Don’t be… I’m the one who brought us here.”

I can’t see him, but I feel his body contract and I know him by heart, so much I actually can picture his face in my head, with his jaw clenched, and that self-hatred darkness in his eyes.

“Don’t blame yourself…”

A dark chuckle.

“Dean… The storm wasn’t expected. And my clothes…” I sigh. “I need to buy a coat.”

“I could have given you mine” he grunts.

“Oh yeah and we both would be lying cold as ice somewhere in this forest… You saved me. Again.”

I love you.

He kisses the side of my neck and just behind my ear. His gesture is soft and pure, like it always is when he touches me, like it was meant to be…

“I’m sorry for yesterday” he says low, his lips barely grazing my ear.

Yesterday ? Is he talking about yesterday morning ? He never does, he never talks about those times we have together, almost leaving me believing they were dreams.

“I’m a coward” he sighs, and his face nuzzles in the crook of my neck.

“You’re pretty far from that, Dean.”

“When it comes to feelings, I am. You know that” he murmurs and his fingers start to play with mine. “You’re so patient and loving… Sweetheart, you know I love you, right ?”

 Dean’s Pov

             A burning feeling roams my whole body, and I know she can feel how hot I suddenly am. She was so brave, she is so brave. Fighting for her life, fighting for her friends, fighting for me when I just keep letting her down.

“Sweetheart, you know I love you, right ?”

She takes a deep breath and I hold mine, my feet bending inward, like I could cage her more.

“To be honest Dean…” she sighs and my heart falls in a loud crashing sound. “Knowing it is not easy… Sometimes I manage to convince myself of it… When you show me, when you give yourself so completely to me…”

When she says that, I close my eyes, images of her pretty thighs holding her body above me, of her teeth grazing my chest… And I feel blood rushing south.

           I kiss her jaw and she turns her head to let me reach her lips. Her skin is still not perfectly warm, but she’s not cold anymore, her body is not shaking and her lips are so cutely pink.

           When she feels my body grow on her lower back, a smile appears on her face. I know that smile.

           She suddenly starts to move, and I protest a little, wanting her to stay close to me, and away from the cold. But she just turns in my arms, pushing my legs down and straddling me, before I close the blanket around us again.

“What are you doing ?” I murmur, pecking her lips.

But she doesn’t answer with her voice. She starts opening my jeans and my eyes widen.

“Baby you just came near death” I grunt, but she grabs my cock with no more warnings or anything.

I gasp.

“Yes… I see no better reason” she smiles against my lips, before claiming my mouth with her sweet, demanding tongue.

“Y/n…” I moan when she pushes her panties to the side and rubs herself against my throbbing length. “Sam is just here…”

“So be quiet…” she whispers before sinking slowly on me, swallowing me like I was made for her. No foreplay, no games… My lady wants me.

I hide in her neck and try to muffle the moans escaping my lips, she grabs my head in both hands and her thighs start to shake ; but not that pre orgasms quake I know by heart, her legs are weak, sore…

           So I grab her waist and push her a little off me, before I bring her so close again, the tip of my cock touches her cervix.

“Dean…” she whispers, out of breath, digging her nails in my scalp, the cover falling a little without my arms to hold it. “I love you between my legs… I…” Her walls are clenching around me and she holds my head against her with both hands like it was the most precious thing. “I needed to tell you that…”

My fingers dig in her waist but I’m too tired to really thrust, so I grind. I grind hard and rub her pelvis against mine in held back groans.

           Sweat breaks through the skin of my back and the fireplace suddenly feels to be burning my jeans, making it almost painful against my legs.

           Being inside of her, even in a lost tiny crappy cabin in a haunted wood with a snow storm raging… It feels like home. Every time.

Home.

And I’m not ashamed to feel my climax built so soon, after so few efforts. Just because we were there and together, and because she needed that connection I only gave her during sex until now.

           But that will change…

“I love you…” I gasp when I cum so deep inside her, and she falls silent, wrapping her arms around my neck to hold on to me, and pulsing in a soft but long orgasm.

           She stays still, panting, and I worry I could have make her sick again, so I wrap the cover back around us.

“Y/n ?”

“Will you stay tomorrow ?” she asks putting her lips on mine in a lazy kiss and I can’t help but smile wide, her lips missing mine to meet my teeth as I do.

“I love you” I just say, knowing it contains all the answers she needs.

----------------------------------

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[itwillbeall-dwight]

trials in error

danny "jed olsen" johnson | the ghost face/felix richter; fluff and angst; canon-typical violence; enemies to fwb to lovers to enemies lmao; 5677 words

a/n: did i finish two fics in the same day? yes i did. i’ve had this done since one in the morning but didn’t want to post it them bc no one would see it by the time it was flushed out of the tag bc tumblr hates fic writers for real actually.

my friend booker is to blame for this. they mentioned this pair to me offhandedly but then i turned around and made this, and basically learned 2 things. 1) writing danny is fun, and 2) i have. a lot of feelings. about them.

while i have a couple of long pieces to finish, requests are still open, so if you liked this and would like smthn written, feel free to shoot me an ask!

likes < reblogs, any comments in the tags are appreciated

ao3 mirror in the reblogs!

Preview: “Tell you what.” He folded his arms over the top of the generator, looking the man in the face as he rested the side of his head against his forearm. “You’re still a noob, and I can’t be having anything fun with that. I’ll give you, hm… 10 seconds to run and hide, phone a friend, you know… not die, but after that, you’re all mine. Sound good?” The blonde remained silent, blinking at him in bewilderment. That was as good of an answer as any. “Alright. 10-” “Ah, wait, but what about-” “-9-” He didn’t say anything after that, dropping the wires in his hands and taking off into a sprint, stumbling as he stood to his full height - and oh boy, was he a tall guy - and turned a corner of old cars. Danny chuckled, standing up to rest his ass against the side of the gen, flipping his knife in his hand as he kept counting down. “8… 7… 6-5-4-3-2-1- ok, here we go.”

Another day, another trial. As the fog cleared from his vision, the Ghostface flipped his small knife in his hand, feeling the silent breeze whistle through the tendrils on his uniform. The Autohaven Wreckers was as sorry of a sight as it always was, but one that he’d grown quite accustomed to use as his playground. From the sight of the old garage, he could almost pick out memories of all the times he’d scared the pants off of the poor survivors, which he took more than enough pleasure in doing. Danny looked around, still absently flipping his knife in his hand as he formulated a plan, taking a brief moment to watch the ever-present moonlight glint off of the freshly cleaned blade before he looked up once more, a slow grin forming behind the mask as the game began.

 Poor Meg thought he was stupid, thinking she’d lost him at a simple enough loop around a pile of tires, all up until he pulled her off of her generator with a cackle (“screw you, creep” she said as she slammed her fists into the back of his shoulder - changed her tune real quick after he slid a hook into hers). Nea didn’t hesitate in giving him the runaround, powering a generator in his face and slamming a locker door into him for good measure. Danny knew the girl would throw a palette at him if she had the chance - she was the most fun to play with. But he soon lost her, so soon after catching her, but it was that detective asshole that ruined their fun, as he’d shone a damn flashlight in his eyes while he had Nea on his shoulder, finally, enough for her to wiggle free and run off again. And by the time his vision had cleared, the both of them had gone. Danny growled - as much as he enjoyed fun, it was only when he was winning was it any good.

 It was while he was stalking around the battered old killer shack looking for the bastard that he saw him for the first time. Blonde hair, broad shoulders, and a fancy suit that just screamed rich, with a touch of “please tear me off or splatter me in blood, both sound great”. A man he didn’t recognize, sat on a generator, eyes darting around as he worked the best he could with shaking hands, clearly on edge about being left on his own to work. Whatever annoyance he had in him melted like hot wax, as he approached, slowly, knowing this guy would be a wonderful victim to mess with. The killer’s fingers curled around the edge of the wall as he watched the man, the way he swallowed and sighed, muttering to himself in reassurance in a tongue that sounded familiar to him, too quiet to tell. The generator got louder and louder, its mechanisms and inner parts in tune as the man worked his magic, almost letting himself smile in triumph as he grabbed another wire.

“Hey there, handsome.”

A voice from behind his neck, raspy and deep, caused him to jump, a spark sending the generator into smoke as he turned, face going white as he pushed his back against the wall.

Oh, he was right. He was going to be fun, all right. Danny chuckled. “Oh, sorry. Did I scare you? Tend to do that. It’s in my… nature.”

The man swallowed, glancing around for any kind of help, seeming to find none as his attention turned back to the killed, speaking in a low, rich voice, though it shook from fear. “Don’t you have… things, to be stabbing?”

“Why, is that an invitation?” He laughed again, leaning up against the generator and crossing one leg over the other. “Nah, I’m just kiddin’. Ain’t it enough to get to know the new neighbours? Haven’t seen you around before, pretty boy. They smuggled you in, huh?”

“I… suppose.”

He hummed, tapping the blade of his knife against the metal of his knife, the clanging making the survivor jump. Oh, bless him - well and truly, it was a mistake for him to get caught up here… but a happy mistake, to be sure. “Got a name?”

“Huh?”

“Like I said, I like to know the neighbours, ya know… real close and personal. A preference. Bit of normalcy. Soooo…”

He remained silent. So he was a little bit smarter than what he’d look like, from the way he was shaking in his rich white boots. Impressive.

“Tell you what.” He folded his arms over the top of the generator, looking the man in the face as he rested the side of his head against his forearm. “You’re still a noob, and I can’t be having anything fun with that. I’ll give you, hm… 10 seconds to run and hide, phone a friend, you know… not die, but after that, you’re all mine. Sound good?”

The blonde remained silent, blinking at him in bewilderment. That was as good of an answer as any. 

“Alright. 10-”

“Ah, wait, but what about-”

“-9-”

He didn’t say anything after that, dropping the wires in his hands and taking off into a sprint, stumbling as he stood to his full height - and oh boy, was he a tall guy - and turned a corner of old cars.

Danny chuckled, standing up to rest his ass against the side of the gen, flipping his knife in his hand as he kept counting down. “8… 7… 6-5-4-3-2-1- ok, here we go.”

 Curious as it was, he lost the blonde beauty soon after he let him go, instead finding Meg oddly open about where she was, spriting right into his vision. Not that he was complaining; a game was a game, and if the runner decided that she wanted to play tag, then who was he to turn her down? Especially when she was so easy to catch… though as soon as she was hooked, flashlight clicking and Swedish profanities in his ear was enough to make him chase after Nea rather than go after his original chase once again… they were painting a target on their back, and for what? To save the new guy’s skin? He wasn’t an idiot. Just surprised that some of them had the compassion.

 Well, they managed to get another generator done, but the two girls were dead, and a soon injured Tapp was surely soon to follow them. A means to an end, it seemed, as his knife plunged into the detective’s side and sent him crashing into the dirt with a grunt of pain, rolling over onto his back with one eye open, the other wincing in pain, the shadow of the killer cast over him in the moonlight as he wiped his blade.

“OK, Detective, we’ll make this real nice and simple.” He crouched down next to the survivor, taking note of how the blood pooled around him as he laid on his back, staring up at him. “Tell me where your new friend is hiding, and I’ll let you live.”

Silence.

“C’mon, it’s not that hard of a choice to make. I’ve heard getting sacrificed is long and painful, like your insides are getting ripped at over and over again until, poof, you’re back again, at that cozy little campfire, only a little bit more traumatised to show for it. Now, you want that to happen to only one of you, or both of you, hm?”

Tapp looked away, seeming to ponder the possibility.

“Self-preservation instincts, Detective. I know you have them.” He tapped his knife into the dirt. Humans were fickle beings, easily swayed when their life was on the line.

The detective sighed, chest shaking from the strain. “Fine. I know where he’s hiding. But I can’t… breathe right, with a knife in my chest, so come a little closer.”

Danny blinked, but surely he didn’t have any more tricks up his sleeve, so he did as he was told, for once in his life, letting his mask get inches away. “Yes?”

A moment of silence, before there was a whisper in reply, backed by the assurance of an idiot who knew he was going to die regardless, as he spat blood pooling in his mouth onto the mask of the ghost almost pressed against his own. “Go fuck yourself.”

He was almost stunned at the bravado, leaning away with a chuckle, though he gritted his teeth through it. “Oh, you’re a funny man. Absolutely hilarious, you know that?” But still, that was as good of an affirmation of choice as he was going to get from someone so stubborn, so Danny grabbed him by the front of his vest and hoisted him up onto his shoulder.

 The screaming echoed as the heavens opened up, the Entity surely pleased with her feast for the evening, but he still wasn’t done… oh no, far from it. There was still one more handsome devil to track down. Danny rolled his neck, grinning at the gentle cracks from the strain, strolling more than hunting, at this point, for the well-kept survivor he didn’t know the name of, but was practically dying to know. He almost skipped up the crane, looking out of the window as Rapunzel did out of her tower window, before chuckling to himself and hoisting himself out. Danny tapped his blade against his hand, almost going to begin whistling if not for the angelic cries coming from the hill just close by. A grin overtook him, as he chased the calls of cherubs from the ground below.

 He slammed that hatch shut with a satisfied sigh, throwing his knife between his hands as he looked around and arched his neck for the doors. Normally the whelps would just give up at this point, but the guy was new, and probably didn’t know what was best for him. Still, the doors were easily within view, so if he made it out of this alive… well, he wouldn’t, so no promise needed to be made. The killer chuckled to himself, finally settling on wrapping his fingers around the handle of his blade, curling one by one, slowly and deliberately for no one in particular, before setting off to take part in the real game that had begun.

 He had no idea how he did it. Perhaps Danny had become too complacent in his work. But that handsome devil slipped past him more than once, enough for him to open up a gate and tiptoe his nice ass into certain safety. The survivor stared at him from inside the gate as he walked past in bewilderment, shaking like a dog in the rain that was just waiting to be gutted, battered old medkit in hand. And while he was stunned, the man swallowed, nodded, and left the trial head high, descending back into the fog as it began to consume the old gas station, leaving Danny to stare into darkness, barely blinking.

 Well, that was interesting, wasn’t it?

—

His name was Felix, he’d learned from the pig in the meat plant, having overheard it while she watched him blow the generator out by accident and got cursed out by the familiar bane-of-their-existence Swede. German, from the way he’d spoken to Danny by the generator in their first encounter, high up on the social ladder from the way he dressed (unless he’d gotten all dressed up just to see him? Funny, that would be, but very unlikely), shaken by the fog and with a disposition not unlike a lost dog. 

 And yet, despite his nerves and cluelessness to the fog, he always seemed to escape him. He didn’t know how he did it, but from finding hatch to evading the hooks, Felix somehow managed to keep him on his toes. Trials were somehow more exciting, knowing there was a challenge, and a chance to catch he who refused to be caught. Danny knew he was going to revel in the moment, when it eventually came - there was no way someone could be better than him, when he was so in his element.

So, after not seeing the man for the entire trial while hunting through the streets of Badham, catching him at the gate seemed like a dream come true. And he was none the wiser, as Danny quickly slammed his hand against the wall next to the lever, making him jump and freeze, pulling his hand away, two bright lights reflecting onto his face. “And so we meet again.”

“S-so we do.” He ran a hand through his hair before it found a place at the back of his neck, quietly taking a few steps back.

“Aht, aht. I wouldn’t run. I’ll just find you again anyways.”

He stopped. 

“...You know, I don’t quite know how you do it. It’s like you’re avoiding me on purpose.”

“That is… the point, is it not?”

“Oh, how rude- people come here to see me, surely. I’m a spectacle; call me a master at my craft.”

Felix chuckled - god, he chuckled, though it was riddled with nerves, but it most certainly happened, and sounded great - fiddling with the cufflinks on the sleeves of his suit jacket as his back straightened a little, as if flicking a switch to go from sorry sight to professional businessman. “Well, I… don’t suppose you’d be willing to show me why?”

He blinked. “Are you… flirting with me?”

“Am I?”

Danny wasn’t sure if the question was rhetorical or not, from the way he stood beside the lever at the gate, leaning a shoulder against the brick and folding his arms across his strong, broad chest (the way his shirt was unbuttoned just so was something Danny now noticed, and couldn’t stop noticing, barely tearing his eyes away to meet his gaze again) with an almost expectant look. “You’re... a weird one.”

“I… suppose so. Anyone normal would have ignored you and already run for their lives.”

The killer chuckled. “You’re not… entirely wrong. But I gotta say, I do like that. Among… other things.”

Though his eyes weren’t visible, it was as if the survivor knew exactly where he was looking, coughing and covering his mouth with the side of his fist. How cute was that?

He almost couldn’t contain himself. But he managed, somehow, not sure where this whole thing was going, but more than ready to go along for the ride. “Say… how far are you willing to ask that question, anyway? You really wanna know that bad, huh?”

Felix swallowed, closing his eyes for a moment before looking up again, with his piercing blue gaze, lips parting just so into a coy little smile. “Let’s find out, shall we?”

Danny had never thought a man of such sophistication was willing to whore himself out for freedom, but sure enough, he himself opened the gate to let the German go, almost sad to see him leave (though it wouldn’t be for long), but very much enjoying the view.

 He paused. He was supposed to catch him and kill him, wasn’t he? Danny frowned, somewhat troubled, but tried to justify it as returning to old habits in Roseville, as he left the gate, and waited for the fog to consume him again, taking a seat just outside the battered old preschool.

—

It was like the attraction of magnets with twice the force as soon as they saw each other, wasting no time as suddenly Felix’s back was slammed into a tree, a loose and cold gloved hand finding its way up his shirt, sending a shiver up his spine for another reason as he felt lips hit his, with a hunger and desperation he was not expecting but certainly didn’t mind reciprocating, as Danny soon found out. And he wasn’t complaining; he was damn good, for a man with the disposition of a 40-year-old virgin, moving his hands to Danny’s wrist and placing his hand on his waist, which again, he did not mind at all, while the other was still halfway up his shirt. Let the man take the lead, at least for now, because it’s the only chance he’ll get to.

 Danny chuckled as a hand moved to grab his ass - quite the eager beaver, wasn’t he? He was practically purring as he pulled away, the survivor trying to follow him before reeling back as he moved to kissing up the side of his neck, listening close to the adorable little whimpers that came out of him as he squirmed in his grip. The killer then went to move his hand out from under Felix’s shirt, finally, casually undoing the buttons of his waistcoat and shirt one by one, taking the time to walk down his chest with his fingers and feel the shaking breaths of anticipation under his fingertips. Oh, the things he wanted to do-

 Distant voices were enough to make the survivor crack open an eye, pausing before he began to push the killer’s head off of his neck.

“Hey, hey,” Danny didn’t appreciate the interruption, moving to look up as Felix looked around, like a startled animal, though he still purred in the crudest fashion. “C’mon, buddy, I was just getting started.”

“Quiet.” His voice was low and commanding, still shaking from adrenaline.

And for whatever reason, Danny complied.

He swallowed, listening to the silence of the wind in the barrens of the fog-covered forest and there was another distant call, which upon hearing he began trying to wiggle out of the killer’s grip. “Off.”

“Why?”

“They’re looking for me-”

“And you don’t wanna be seen with me?” He gave a mock gasp of offence, though the grin that was slowly growing larger still remained on his face.“Oh, honey-”

“That’s exactly it. Move, please.”

That was enough to make Danny chuckle, squeezing his hips that he still held, enough to make him yelp a little. “Still so polite. If you want me to do somethin’, hon, you gotta be a little more, ah... demanding, yeah?”

Felix glared. “Alright. Get off. Now.” His voice had an annoyed growl to it, though his voice still cracked a little out of embarrassment, as he pushed down on Danny’s arms to let himself go.

“There it is.” And so he moved, standing back and sliding his hands into the pockets of his cloak. He watched the architect fiddle with the buttons on his shirt to redo them again, rushing to do so and messing it up a few times, mumbling to himself. “Need help?”

He glared again. 

Danny laughed, observing how he looked like a kicked puppy as he went back to fiddling with his shirt, pulling down his own mask again to hide what little of his face he had revealed. “You know, I think you’d look much better with it off.”

“Shut up.”

“Oh, that’s not what you were saying with your eyes earlier-”

“You were a lot more tolerable when you were quiet.”

“‘Cos I never had a chance to speak, what, with you all over my mouth.” He shrugged as he spoke, as if it was a nonchalant fact, only smiling wider when he heard Felix try to stammer out a flustered reply, to no avail, choosing instead to simply huff and finish off the buttons on his shirt.

“Regardless, this affair is over.”

“Wait, hold on.”

“What?”

The killer moved his hands up to Felix’s neck, watching the man flinch and hold a breath with a soft chuckle, gently undoing a few of the top buttons that he’d redone. “You normally wear it like this.”

He gently touched at his collar, looking down at his fingers and then to the mask starring back at him. “And you’ve noticed?”

“Hard not to.” He shrugged, tugging at the shirt collar and going to fix up the waistcoat too before his hands were slapped away, which he held up in defence with a grin behind his mask. “So when are we doing this again, sunshine?”

The survivor moved away before he could’ve boxed in against the tree again, taking a few steps towards the direction of the campfire and the voices, though not too far as to disengage from the conversation, perhaps a little unsure how to. “You speak like this will be a regular affair.”

“Well, we had fun, ja?” 

“...Are you mocking me?”

“Not mocking, just… appreciating the culture.”

Felix started, smoothing down the arms of his suit jacket with a light scoff of disbelief. “Truly, you’re insufferable.”

“Can't say you didn’t enjoy yourself though, huh, mein Schatz?” He leaned his shoulder against the tree now, folding his arms across his chest, earning him a weak-hearted glare.

“Werde gefickt.”

“Gerne.”

Being outplayed in his own game of native tongues, somehow, Felix conceded, looking down at his cufflinks again. “You’re… not entirely wrong, so ...perhaps a name, so I can find you.”

“Oh, so now you want to know me? What happened to a one-time affair, sugar?” 

“When you’re so easy to please, I would be an idiot not to take advantage.”

Danny laughed, shrugging with no retort (though he was uncertain if hitting this pretty boy like a fish was just as good as getting in his pants… that much was yet to be determined). He soon trailed off, swallowing to himself, a lie escaping him as effortlessly as it had always done. “Jed Olsen.”

“Mr. Olsen…” Felix pondered for a moment. “...Ja, OK.”

—

So they’d been fooling around, yeah. Danny had always said he was willing to try it, should an idiot be brave enough, and if it was someone that wasn’t either Ace or David - he was a man with some standards, even with the blood on his hands - but never had he thought about it getting this far.

 The sun never rose or set, but people slept and woke as time passed, regardless of the light outside, and that was no exception here. If anything, it was the cold chill of Ormond that awoke him from sleep, though he’d grown complacent in it, realising the teens that called this shithole a home would probably evict him if he so much as dared to complain. Danny still grumbled, attempting to pull the scraps of the blanket over himself, but finding it unable to move. Turning over, he now heard the sound of gentle snoring, the body, next to him sometimes shuffling, but remained mostly motionless, aside from the movements of breathing from his chest. His latest fling, almost his newest obsession… god, he still looked perfect, even now, golden locks of hair falling out of form, the lighting of the shitty little cabin not enough to hide that perfect jawline tickled with stubble in all the right places, red marks down his neck and back from an encounter that had lead them right here, in the bed he was practically renting in the corner of the resort.

 They’d gotten a little adventurous, hadn't they? Banter in the trials was one thing, borderline voyeurism in the entity’s forest was another, but here? Letting himself be taken back to the realms to stay, where killers were not technically bound by rules of obedience, with Danny of all killers, a man who loved to bend the rules? Felix Richter was a smart man, that much he knew, but by god was he stupid. Maybe he thought there was a good man still in there, in the Ghostface. Well, that was his mistake; it was almost cute for him to still hold out hope though, regardless of how much disappointment was awaiting him down the road. Danny gently ran fingertips along the sleeping man’s arm, feeling the soft skin underneath his touch, smiling despite himself, only pausing at the gentle stirring he caused, practically freezing with his hand in the air as the architect moved, and slowly opened his eyes, sleepily smiling.

“Good morning.”

“...Hi,” he released a breath he didn’t know he was holding, letting his hand fall into the space between them. “Hardly mornin’, but sure.”

“Close enough.”

“Sure.”

There was a soft, amused hum from the other man, adjusting his position a little to better face him, hair falling out of place just so, like some disheveled Ken doll. “I would ask if you slept well, but-”

“Oh, very well, thanks to you. Really outdid yourself this time; I gotta say, that was almost the most fun I’ve had since I got here… or maybe even before-”

A light shove to his chest made him stop and laugh a little, feeling the slight coldness of metal from a family ring against one pec, and almost wanting the light touch of his hand to remain there, before it hit the mattress with a thump, dangerously close to Danny’s. “You’re a funny one, Mr. Olsen.”

He sat up, resting an elbow on the stained old pillow and holding his cheek with the corresponding hand, raising an eyebrow. “Thought you liked me better when I was quieter?”

Felix stared at him with those perfect eyes of his, and he laughed - like audible silk it was, smooth and defined, with a sleepy smile and everything - adjusting himself with a hand under his pillow. “Sometimes. Sometimes I like to hear you.”

“Glad to hear it. I’ve been told it’s my best quality.”

“Hmm. Is it how you make jokes to deflect, or how you talk out of your ass?”

“...Well, hey now, Princess, ouch-”

As he tried to defend himself, the survivor smirked, somehow braver here than anywhere else (and it wasn’t his persona), quipping back to match him, and as he was talking, Danny paused, watching the way his eyes diverted and how his mouth moved, how he talked with his body and the way he smiled and waiting for a small hum in response, and how Danny liked the way his name sounded coming from his mouth, even if it wasn’t entirely the true one. Almost made him wonder what the real thing would sound like… no, that was too much, right? Couldn’t get attached. He wasn’t attached, was he?

 Couldn’t hurt to wait a little more to think on that, before escorting this pretty little thing back to the campfire.

—

So he was thinking about Felix a lot more than was normal for an obsession of his. What started off as a vengeful curiosity had morphed into something else, something so ugly yet so beautiful, foreign to Danny in recent years, or perhaps his entire life. Was this how high school girls felt, chasing after the jocks for a chance to get them off, and maybe start a high school whirlwind romance? Well, he certainly wasn’t a prepubescent cheerleader, but the survivor that had caught his attention seemed just like the squeaky clean Prince Charming that girls drooled over.

 And he couldn’t have that. Not at all.

 The fog cleared out of his vision slowly, and he opened his eyes, almost rolling them as the field of corn came into view. Coldwind - the rotten fields, it looked like, from the wide expanse of produce hiding his vision. Despite the cards not being in his favour, a game could still be played here, if he played his hand, carefully. And he was planning to. He’d let himself get distracted. But not again.

 Getting back into the routine of the hunt was like sliding into a comfortable sweater, blood shedding with no tear from him. Laurie was always a thrilling chase, her determination being almost cute. Quentin was similar, though the boy with insomnia had a lot less appeal than the virgin final girl, to be sure. David, of course, was David - loud, frustrating to deal with, and incredibly annoying. And… Felix. He knew how he felt about Felix already.

 As well as he tried to play it, this time, the game was not in his favour, and quite quickly generators across the field were powered, with only a few hooks under his belt. Getting to a gate, it was already beginning to open, three of them already filing into the funnel of the exit. But Felix, he was lagging behind, and without thinking, Danny took a swipe...

 ...No one escaped death. Not even the man he may have fallen for.

 As he wiped the blood from his blade with a gloved hand closed around it, he watched the architect grasp at his side and stumble, leaning a shoulder up against a wooden wall for support.

“Go.” He called to the woman in the blue shirt, standing at the gate.

“Felix, we can’t-”

“I said go, Laurie!”

She gritted her teeth and went to ignore him, running back into the cornfield, but a grip and pull on her arm from David stopped her, as much as she tried to fight against it. Quentin was the last to leave, watching the two of them for a moment before he swallowed, and chased after them, a medkit in hand.

 “Alone time, eh? Hon, we’re on a time limit here-”

“Just get it done.”

Danny tried to laugh. But it didn’t… feel right, somehow, even if it was the same as it always had been. As Felix leaned against a wall to support himself and slid down, knees buckling underneath him, he crouched down to meet him. “I dunno… no fun when they don’t squirm, you know?”

“...Jed-”

“Danny.”

He paused. “What?”

“It’s Danny Johnson. My name, I mean. I lied, when we first met. ...Surprise!” Knife still gripped, he tried to do a small jazz hands movement, though it seemed a fall flat. Only hurt more with what came next.

“...I figured as much.”

“Oh yeah? And why’d you set yourself up for failure like that, sunshine?”

“Because… I don’t know. I thought you were like me.”

The killer deflated a little, tilting his head to one side.

“I… maybe, I thought you were playing something up. I always felt… something else, there. Maybe something even you didn’t know about. Under all that ego, Mr Ol- ...Mr. Johnson, there was a man who cared, once.”

He tapped the blade of his knife against the floor. “...Maybe. I dunno.”

“Do you think he’s still in there?”

Danny didn’t reply right away, dragging his blade through the dirt by his feet absentmindedly. He didn’t entirely know, at this point. Normally this would have been the end of their little game - it was over, he had caught him and won - but something was stopping him. The ground shook, reminding him of that first moment where this fascination had started to plague him. “...You’ve done something to me, Felix.”

He hummed, trying to shift where he sat, holding his side where the blood had stained his very nice suit. “Have I?”

“Must have done. Because this isn’t as fun as I thought it would be.”

“That’s the reality of most things, I’m afraid.”

“I hate it.”

The survivor almost laughed, though it was pained and strained, clearly struggling… but was the sliver of it that made it, that small smile on his stupid, perfect face - that was enough, it seemed, to make Danny smile too.

He pulled up his mask entirely, tugging down his hood and fixing his hair with a quick ruffle, feeling the cloth tendrils on his sleeves whip behind him from the movement. The killer took a second to stare at Felix in front of him, before he moved his hand up to his face, watching him flinch. “Hey- relax, baby, I’m not gonna hurt you yet.”

“Yet.”

Danny hummed, cupping his face and wiping away the blood starting to dribble out of his mouth with a finger. “There. You’re a messy little boy, aint’cha?”

A cough, more blood involuntarily spilling out from his mouth now, this time splashing onto his shirt and the front of Danny’s suit. “My apologies. I’ll make sure to bleed less next time you stab me.”

“‘Ppreciate it, babes.”

Though he thought the man would shove him away, he instead seemed to lean into the touch, moving a hand to hold onto Danny’s wrist. “You still smell like cheap cologne.”

“It’s the only thing they sent me here with. ‘Sides, your scent goes away after a while.”

“Gross.”

“The one and only.”

And despite his small smile, of both annoyance and amusement, the third overwhelming emotion behind his eyes was that of sadness. The ground shook around them, but they didn’t seem to care, not until Danny moved his hand away and stood to his feet again, grabbing his knife from the floor and wiping the dirt off of the blade on his thigh.

 “Is this it, then?”

“‘Fraid so.”

“...It was fun.”

“Oh yes, it was.” He looked down at his knife, pressing the tip of the blade against his finger and twisting it, the moonlight and bleeding of the ground catching the light of the metal. “...For what it’s worth? You were close.”

“Close to what?”

“Makin’ me a person. Ya know, not a prick, like… an actual loser, with empathy. Almost had me for a sec, hot stuff.”

“Is that why you’re stopping this? Are you scared?”

Danny swallowed down a reply. He took a moment to look down at Felix, who’s eyes had followed him the entire time, making a small ‘call me’ sign with his free hand and forcing a smirk. “If you ever decide you wanna make a mistake again, you’ll know where to find me.”

“...Goodbye, Danny.”

He walked off into the corn, not wanting to see the way those blue eyes stared at him anymore, only stopping at the pained screaming that followed. The shaking of the ground had stopped now. She had come to feast.

 As he stood in the middle of cornfield, he looked up at the sky of the farm, overcast and grey, tendrils of the Entity reaching down to claim her prize, and fog swirling around him to take him back, to lay in wait, until the next time.

 He was right. His name did sound nice coming out of Felix’s mouth. 

[virginbutstillahoe]

supernatural: an essay

hello fellow clowns.

i need to get some things off my chest, so here we are.  read it, don’t read it, it’s up to you buttercup.  love you.

i’ve been watching since i was 11.  since 2009.  this show raised me.

my father was a really bad guy.  i’ve alluded to it a few times on here but, he was a really abusive and horrible man.  so, i leaned on this show.  it taught me, that even with an abusive father and a difficult hand dealt to me, that i could keep fighting and find the family that i could call my own.

it taught me that family didn’t end in blood.  you control your destiny.  love is stronger than your crap life.  don’t give up, baby.

i am angry about the finale.  enraged even.  but i still love this show and the actors and crew members that made it possible.  that will never change.  this show is what pulled me from the ledge more times than i can count.  made me laugh when i thought i never could again.  did more for me than words can describe to be perfectly honest.  

you may say, molly, it’s a stupid show with bad special effects and sometimes bad acting, there’s no way it’s that special to you.  and to you i say, i am so sorry for you that you don’t know what it’s like to love and enjoy something with your whole heart.

----

now, dean winchester is my favorite character of anything ever.  yes, castiel is a CLOSE fucking second, but dean is just god tier for me.  he is so human and so much like me.  he is the main thing that made me realize, hey, it’s okay to take your time in growing and to be damaged.  it’s okay to be flawed.  he is everything castiel said in his final moments and more.  a true lover.  a man who would put his family (blood relatives and non blood relatives) before anyone or anything.  

destiel aside.  it is OUT OF CHARACTER for dean winchester to not immediately ask for jack to bring cas back as soon as he had all of god’s power.  completely.  jesus christ he even asked GOD to bring him back.  

to continue, dean not asking to see cas as soon as he finds out that he’s not in the empty?  you have got to be kidding.  

i am a destiheller.  i won’t even try to lie here, i am.  but seriously, let’s just say for the sake of the argument, that dean isn’t in love with cas.  still, dean winchester would have wanted to see his best friend.  cas died.  dean would have wanted to find him and hug him immediately if he knew he was around.

jesus, didn’t you see him when he found cas in purgatory?

there is literally NO reason that castiel wasn’t present in the finale.  zero.

----

i am okay with dean dying for the ending.  i actually really am.  i liked the idea of dean dying to save two children, and doing what he loved. but immediately after they defeat chuck?  why?  couldn’t he have had a few years of joy?  of freedom?  why, after everything they’ve been through, did they continue to punish this amazing man, who was nothing but heroic and selfless for the world until the end?  i just don’t understand.

----

on a more positive side, my sammy.  he finally got a long and happy life.  albeit without dean but, he still had the chance to enjoy his freedom, and get the apple pie life he always dreamed of.  

and dean, oh my dean.  his ending?  i am angry about how it came about, but a heaven filled with the people he loves?  thank you for that.  thank you for bobby being there to greet him, for being at harvelle’s and kicking back.  thank you.

----

sorry to tell you, but i’m back to anger.  

misha. goddamn. collins. 

this man has done so much good for this show, for its fans, and for honestly the world in general.  he came on as as two second plot episode character that they planned to throw away after they used him to connect a couple dots, and his performance was so incredible, they ended up having to throw all their plans away and readjusting.  

he made this show good again, he gave it some life.  i would watch the show so intensely, hoping to see his face when episodes would air.  just his sheer presence in an episode made it more enjoyable.

how did he do that?

what do they give him for his service?  

- a death with almost no reaction from the other characters on the show

- a two second mention in the finale without any appearance

- his final words on the show being a prank call from fucking lucifer a long time hated character (and actor) on the show

- and the showrunners using his pull with the fans to trick us into watching an ending where he was nowhere in sight.

you might be saying, wait.  what do you mean by that last bullet.  well my little cherry blossom, let me explain.  

the writers and showrunners KNOW that we love misha and castiel.  they know it.  as i mentioned before, it was our love of the two of them that kept him on the show in the first place.  they know that his presence is what kept the show afloat.

so, they decided to use that to their advantage.  they became super mysterious and shifty about his whereabouts during the filming of the finale.  why?  why would they do that unless they were worried that we would lose interest and find somewhere else to be when the finale aired because our favorite part of the show was gone?  

they toyed with us just to ensure that we would maintain the ratings on their last hurrah.  and you know what?  that really feels like an enormous slap to the face.  

because guess what?  i would have fucking watched anyway.  would i have been upset and a little hurt that cas wasn’t in it?  absolutely, for all the reasons i described.  but i wouldn’t have been holding my breath in hopes of seeing him the entire time, and then have my heart ripped out of my chest like that in disappointment.  

i would have been able to appreciate the ending for what it was, and accept it wasn’t going to be exactly what i wanted ahead of time.  i wouldn’t be so angry now.  

and i resent them for making me feel that way.  this show did so much for me and is so much of the reason why i’m still here today, and they ruined it for me.  i am so angry that they took something so precious to me, and crushed it, just to get those extra bucks in from keeping the ratings in a good spot.  fuck you.  

----

during that whole montage of sam growing old and having a family (which i literally honestly loved, alright?) instead of having dean drive the car, which we’ve seen him do 384729387423 times, we could have seen dean reuniting with his mom, with charlie, fuck WITH CAS, and giving jack a nougie.  things that actually made sense, and made the most of the finite time we had left.  

i didn’t even need a love confession.  even just a hug, or an appearance from cas would have been enough for me.  because i know, romantic love or not (even though we all fucking know it’s romantic but since so many homophobic people watch the show we have to keep it dubious ugh), cas would be a part of dean’s heaven because cas is part of dean’s family, which is what gets dean out of bed every morning.  

----

listen, i am happy that the final minutes of the show were just sam and dean, hugging, and loving each other.  after all, that’s what started it all, right?  i’m just saying, they screwed us, the characters, and the legacy of the show for what seems to be no apparent reason.  it was just laziness, homophobia, or something else that doesn’t make any sense to me.  

what was the point of the deancas relationship arc for there to be no resolution?  what was the point of brining eileen into sam’s life for them not to be together?  

i truly, just don’t understand.  i don’t.

they really could have made this something amazing, and jaw dropping, but they chose not to.  and i will never forgive them.

----

all that being said though, thank you supernatural.  thank you for making me who i am today.  thank you for making me laugh, cry, and survive so long.  there are memories, people, and messages that you sent to me that will stay with me forever, and that i will never forget.  

to the actors, i hope you know, that any anger you might see from me, or from most of us (don’t want to speak for everyone), are at the writers, not you.  i see all of your hard work and your devotion.  you are everything that makes this show great.  you are what made this show.  thank you for everything.  

and to jensen specifically, i am truly sorry.  i really thought you were being an ass and that you didn’t like the ending bc of stupid reasons, but it turns out you were right.  i’m sorry they didn’t listen to you, and i’m sorry that i doubted you.  you’ve done nothing but love this character and give it your all, and you and misha really got shot in the foot.

your hard work did not go unnoticed.  

thank you for listening if you did. 

i love you all and it has truly been a pleasure.

i’m gonna tag a few people under the bar in case they’re curious about my thoughts. i might not really talk to a lot of you but i really respect your opinions and like you guys.  so yeah (:

tag list @prayedtoyou @destiel-is-canon-i-guess @starrynightdeancas @green-eyes-and-classic-rock @thetiredstuff

[doing-all-write]

the art of flirting on a hover board pt. 2

Ivy runs a successful arts non-profit and Joe tags along when Rami and Lucy go to visit her. But what happens when a simple bet made over a hover board competition gets out of hand?

Pairing: Joe Mazzello x Ivy (OC)

Rating: Rated S for Stupidity (we love friends who share one (1) collective brain cell. 

Warnings: None!

Here’s part two! I hope you all love it!

Part 1

Any comments, notes, love, hate WHATEVER you got for this, let me know!

Reblogs and feedback are much appreciated bc I crave validation!!!!!

"So then, I'm up there, I'm telling them my story, pleading with them to realize that the arts matter and that's when I see Charlotte off to the side frantically trying to tell me my dress had come open and my whole bra was out." 

Rami bursted out laughing, Lucy let out a gasp and Joe clapped his hands in mirth as Ivy shook her head at her own bad luck, "I swear, it was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me." 

Ivy's fingers worked to secure the rope they had found around the axle of the skateboard. Joe couldn't stop thinking about her hands and what they would look like doing other activities.

Like, holding his hand.

Or wrapped around his dick. 

Either one was fine. He wasn't a picky man. 

"So what did you do? I mean, how do you even recover from that?" Lucy wondered aloud, as Joe shook himself from his thoughts and went to take a drink from the beer Ivy had distributed to them all. 

Ivy shrugged as she sat back on her heels and brought her own beer bottle to her lips, "Well, we got the most donations we've ever received so at this point I'm considering just doing a strip routine to get more money." Joe started choking on the drink he had just swallowed as the image of Ivy stripping crowded into his mind to take up permanent residence. 

Rami whacked him on the back. 

Ivy's eyes flicked up to meet Joe's as her eyebrow quirked up in a silent ask of You good? Joe nodded and flapped his hand around in the universal gesture of, Keep going, don't mind me dying.

"I mean, everyone still teases me about it but I make jokes about it more than anyone else. You just laugh at yourself. Make a few memes, bing, bang, boom. It was over and I still got those old geezer's money so I'm not super upset. And besides, what's a few memes in the grand scheme of things?" She inquired as she stood up, wiping her hands off on the backs of her shorts as she looked right up into Joe's eyes and smiled. 

"You okay?"

"I'm fine and besides, I couldn't have died without seeing some of those memes that you just talked about. I mean, you can't leave us hanging in suspense like that." Joe retorted as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

Ivy's eyes flicked down to his biceps even as her brain kept repeating over and over "don't look at his arms, don't look at his arms" and mentally cursed herself for being so weak. She felt her cheeks heating up as she realized Joe had DEFINITELY tracked her eye movements.  He quirked an eyebrow at her as she tried to salvage whatever of her pride remained, 

"I'm pretty sure Gracie has one of them framed and hung up in her office, I'll show you." Okay, not a great save of the ole pride but memes are better than blatant thirst she thought as she smiled at him and watched a matching smile grow across Joe's face.

The moment between them stretched on as Lucy's gaze bounced between the two and tried to subtly let Rami know that he should keep his mouth shut so he didn't ruin the moment. 

Rami, however, missed these cues and kept looking back and forth between the two, feeling very much like something had just happened that he was not meant to be a part of. His mouth opened when he felt Lucy, who realized subtlety is overrated, stomp on his foot. 

"OW."

Joe and Ivy's gaze was ripped apart as they both glanced at Rami who was glaring at Lucy who had widened her eyes to max capacity and was suddenly very invested in the molding around the ceiling.

"Sorry, I, uh, bit my tongue." Rami offered weakly as Ivy cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. 

"So. Anyway. Yeah. That's about as exciting as my life has been the past few months. Some performances, writing songs, running the business, the usual." Ivy said nonchalantly as if running a successful non-profit was just another boring life event, like visiting the DMV. 

Ivy suddenly whipped around to Rami as she dramatically pronounced, "But what about YOU Mister 'I'm an Oscar winning actor' like what the FUCK?" as her eyes bugged out and her fist collided against Rami's shoulder. 

Rami rubbed the sore spot as Joe barked out a laugh. Rami narrowed his eyes at Joe as he held up his hands defensively, "Sorry man, it was really funny." His eyes slid over to Ivy's where she met them with a smile.

Fuck, he would never get tired of that smile. 

"So, are we testing this thing or what? Because I believe she's ready for her maiden voyage." Ivy declared as she tugged on the length of jump rope one more time to test its tautness. 

"Yeah, my life is FINE, thank you for asking. And so is my SHOULDER." Rami announced to no one in particular.

"Oh I'm sure you're fine but if you're so hurt maybe you shouldn't ride this-" 

Rami pointed a finger at Lucy, "Don't you keep me from doing this. I've waited so long to get here. Do NOT take this away from me." 

Lucy held up her hands in surrender as Joe and Ivy snickered. 

"SO." Rami rubbed his hands together as absolute glee washed over his face, "Lucy and I try it first? Then you and Joe?"

Ivy looked at Joe who looked back at Ivy, "Hell yeah. The dream team here is going to CRUSH it." Joe held up his hand for a high five and Ivy smiled as she slapped her palm against Joe's.

She wrapped her fingers around his hand and held on as she turned to Rami, 'This originally wasn't a competition but we're going to kick your ass." 

"Oh it's so on. Let's make this interesting."

"Name your terms Malek." Ivy said.

Joe was doing his best not to move so Ivy wouldn't let go of his hand and Lucy was practically quivering with suppressed excitement. 

Ivy was very aware that she was still holding onto Joe's hand but really didn't want to let go as she realized how long it had been since she had held hands with someone who actually gave her butterflies and not grabbing onto Gracie or Ava's hand when she saw a particularly stunning picture of Harry Styles.

Rami was lost in thought as he tried to think what would be the worst thing he could do to Ivy if she lost this arbitrary competition. 

"Hmm. Okay. Got it. If whoever's on the hover board can stay on longer than either Lucy or I can, then you get to post whatever picture you want on my Instagram with whatever caption you want."

Ivy's eyes lit up like a Broadway marquee at the idea of using Rami's rarely used Instagram to post one of the many embarrassing throwback photos she had of him. 

"Alright Malek, but if we lose, which we won't," she squeezed Joe's hand again to emphasize her point and Joe prayed his hands weren't too sweaty, "what do you get out of this?"

"I get to schedule a date for you with whatever guy I choose."

Joe had never seen a human lose all color in their visage so quickly as he did when Ivy heard Rami's terms. 

"No."

"Yes."

"Rami, no! That's my personal life! You can't go messing around in other people's lives!"

"Oh, so giving you access to my Instagram account is what exactly?"

Ivy made some various noises that almost sounded like words and finally sighed, "Fine. I agree to the terms." She let go of Joe's hand as she wheeled around to face him, "We have to fucking win."

"Well, we better. I have some absolutely delicious behind the scene photos of him that need to see the light of day."

~~~

"Ready?"

Ivy whacked the side of her helmet and shot Joe a thumbs up as she prepared to lift her other foot onto the hover board. 

Rami and Lucy stood off to the side, red-faced and sweaty after having raced down the path they had decided on and back. 

They had walked to a park that was close to the organization. Rami and Ivy had argued over a path for five minutes, and would have gone on all day but Lucy stepped in to say if she wanted to listen to an old married couple arguing she could just listen to Joe and Ben talk. Once the path had been declared, Rami and Lucy had gone first.

Rami's screams, as Lucy took off like a shot once she got her balance on the bike, had caused every dog in a three mile radius to start barking. They had made it halfway when Rami got overexcited and his cheering caused him to fall over.

Which then caused both Ivy and Joe to sing simultaneously, "Another one bites the dust" which then caused Lucy to run the bike into a tree because she was laughing so hard. 

Needless to say, Ivy and Joe were both feeling confident about their abilities. 

Joe gave Ivy a grave salute, "If this is our last time serving together, I just want to say, it's been an honor."

Ivy gave a stoic nod back, "Likewise, sir."

Joe faced forward and took a deep breath as Rami and Lucy counted down, 

"FIVE"

Ivy wiped her hands on her shorts.

"FOUR"

Joe cracked his neck.

"THREE"

Ivy sent up a call to the universe to not let her fail.

"TWO"

Joe sent out a silent prayer that he wouldn't be the reason Ivy broke a bone.

"ONE" 

Joe's legs tensed and Ivy stepped up onto the hover board.

"GO"

Joe took off like a shot and Ivy's arm that wasn't holding onto the rope pinwheeled as she desperately tried to keep her balance. She was all of a sudden overwhelmed by a memory of trying to surf and falling more times than she could count. 

Not the best time to be thinking of that she thought as she used her core in ways she never would have thought to use it. 

Joe kept his focus on the path in front of him. He didn't dare look back for fear he would lose focus and cause Ivy to fall off. 

Ivy was starting to feel more stable when all of a sudden she felt much lighter, the sky seemed much closer and her feet were no longer attached to the hover board by gravity.

She landed with a "FUCK" and a thud that had Rami and Lucy freezing for just a second before racing over to her. 

Joe heard Ivy swear and realized the bike seemed much lighter. He risked a glance behind and saw a heap on the ground and an empty hover board. He was off the bike before it even stopped the whole way.

"No, no, no, no, fuck! Ivy, are you okay?" Joe cried as he reached Ivy as Rami helped her up into a seated position and Lucy was feeling her arms for broken bones. 

Ivy groggily looked up at Joe, "'m okay. Must have hit a hole. Not your fault."

Joe reached up and gently unclipped the helmet from her head, "Well, at least you were wearing your helmet. Safety is key when doing stupid stuff."

"Safety and stupidity notoriously go hand in hand" Ivy offered him a weak smile as Joe smiled warmly down at her. 

"Well, I don't think you have any broken bones in your arms." Lucy reported.

"Do you think you can stand?" Rami asked as he looked at Ivy with concern.

Ivy nodded and took the arm Rami offered her to pull herself up. She gingerly put weight on one leg, then the other and when neither buckled or felt like anything was severely wrong, gave a soft thumbs up.

Joe let out a giant breath, "Thank god."

"I'm so glad you're okay." Rami said as he wrapped an arm around Ivy's shoulders and pulled her into his side.

"Thanks Rami, me too." Ivy murmured as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"And since you're okay, I don't feel guilty for doing this." Rami said as he took a deep breath in, pointed at Ivy and Joe and yelled, "WE WON. IN YOUR FACE." Rami grabbed Lucy and spun her around as she laughed.

Joe rolled his eyes and Ivy groaned, "Sorry I bit it super hard and let down the team." She bit her lip and kept her eyes glued to the ground.

"Hey, no. Ivy. It's no big deal. I'm just glad you're alright." Joe said. He leaned forward and back as he contemplated whether he should hug her or not. Ivy made the decision for him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. 

'Thank you" she whispered as Joe hesitantly wrapped his arms around her waist and tried not to breathe in her perfume too deeply. He wanted to remember every detail of this moment. 

How her body felt pressed against his.

How her arms felt around his neck.

How she smelled. How warm she was. 

How he never wanted to let her go. 

"IVY. You better get ready for your date!" Joe and Ivy's eyes snapped open as they remembered what the consequence of losing was. 

A soft chorus of "fuck", as if from a profane angelic chorus, was heard from their embrace as Lucy and Rami continued celebrating.

[starryseo]

heart eyes. | seo changbin

this gif is perfect!!

pairing ↠ changbin x gender neutral!reader

genre ↠ just fluff!!

wc ↠ 1533

summary ↠ chan is a terrible wingman.

warnings ↠ a biiit of swearing. like one word.

hi, i saw that your requests are open and i just found your blog but i love your writing so much already! i was wondering if i could have a scenario with changbin? where you are bff w/ chan and are 4 years older than changbin and also a few inches taller than him but have a crush on him. you don't do anything about your crush but chan knows about it and wants you two to get together. you can decide how you want it to end! thank you!

a/n ↠ thank you so much!!! + im sorry i know you said scenario but this is gonna be a bulleted scenario bc paragraphs take long for me and i dont want you waiting forever for this rip

hope you like it anyways tho!!!!

okay so!!

you’re a songwriter at jyp and you’ve worked with a lot of different groups in there, getting to know the trainees and debuted groups

when you’re not working with debuted groups, you’re helping out some of the trainees

some of them have told you how much they look up to you since you’re young but you’ve gotten so far in life, writing lyrics and melodies for one of the top 3

and they’re always asking you for tips and ideas and if you can read over some of the lyrics theyve written

and theyre always asking for your opinion on whether the melody goes with the lyrics theyve written

and you love how inspired and determind they are bc it’s hard being a trainee, going to school AND writing lyrics/ composing on the side

mad respect to all those out there

you’ve worked with a lot of trainees, but when jyp himself asked you to work w a kiddo named chan you were really excited!!!

ok hes not really a kiddo, he was a year younger than yourself but!! who cares!!!

you two hit it off really quickly, being vvv good friends in a short amount of time

some other trainees had suggested you listen to some soundcloud group 3racha and you really liked them!!!

and now!! you’re working with one of them!!!

jyp knew that chan was rly good at song writing and composing, and it was getting closer to the survival show time, so he asked you to help chan out

guiding him on how to write a Hit Song

so you worked closely with him before the show had started airing, running through the tips you had learnt through your years of writing

and you ran through different concepts and ideas he wanted to express through his music and songs

after a month of constant-coffee-meet-ups and late night freestyles you two had gotten vv close

practically inseparable, even tho you both were v busy, you w composing and him with his group

there rly was never a dull moment between you two and you rly liked having a proper friend that you could trust and vent to if need be

the day he introduced you to his group was wild!!!

he invited you out to a restaurant after the hellevator mv dropped

when you got there, he was standing at the entrance and he was like “:00 you came!!! took you long enough!!”

“i wasnt gonna miss out on free food now was i??”

he took you inside, saying he’d already gotten the table

and when you got there youre like

“,,,, why are there a bunch of boys at our table ://”

“theyre my group members!!!!”

:000!!!

they were quiet at first but when chan introduced you they all burst into cheers

it was just chaos like “hi!!!!!!!” / “hellooooooo!!!” / “omg!!!!!” / “thank you for helping w the mv!!!!” / “wow we finally get to see yn!!!!!!”

and youre just like ,,,,, what do i even reply to,,

so you say hi etc, introduce yourself and then take a seat next to chan

even tho you had known chan for a long time, you rly had only worked w him

like, he would always come to your office to work on stuff or you’d meet in public places, but it was only ever the two of you

so you were happy you finally got to meet the others!!

it was rly fun meeting all of them, they were so lively!!!

they were asking all sorts of questions abt you, your job, interests etc and they were rly thankful that you helped chan bc he imparted his knowledge + help onto them

and chan was like “yeah thanks for all your help!! this is all stressful so it was vv helpful that you guided me on how to do this stuff!!”

but as soon as the food came? they were silent

like seriously, there was barely any chatter

only small grumbles from jisung when seungmin stole his food

you had spoken to changbin a lot throughout the night

he was sitting next to you and you were internally Combusting bc

oh man you were sitting in between 2/3 of 3racha and you had to admit

changbin was probs your fave outta the 3 of them

man,, you really loved his tone of voice and how he could change it so easily within a song, and it would still flow so!! well!!!

you loved listening to him rapping sm and chan most definitely knew abt that

whenever he brought over lines/ ideas that he and the guys had written, you’d be like Wow i really love this part, it flows rly well w the melody

chan: “ah really? guess who wrote that!”

“,?? you?”

“changbin ;))))”

“whats with that face :/”

“ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) what ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  face”

“t h a t  f a c e”

“youre the one that goes all Heart Eyes when i mention changbin n yet im making a weird face??? k then”

“PPPPFT shut up lets work idk what youre talking abt”

and he dropped the subject but that stupid smirk never left his face :(((

when you finished your food, chan who obvs had already inhaled his food just started nudging you like

“( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) nows ur chance”

“i can finally kill u?? :D”

“:( no wtf why would u wanna do that?”

“wait i have a list-”

“BRO </3 i meant nows ur chance to woo changbin ;^))))”

“to do what now”

“to KiSs KiSs FaLl In LoVe with bInNiE!!”

“omg youre embarassing how are You the leader??”

and he just kept that up the Whole Night

honestly youre surprised none of the other guys realised what he was doing bc he just kept smirking and nudging you whenever changbin so much as sipped his water and you would straight up Elbow Him

but then he was like “hey changbin :)”

and internally you were just like Oh Great here comes the Fuckening

and the dude literally Exposed you there

and you were just like ?? i just mET youre group and youre already telling them my life story???

Chan basically told changbin abt how much you rly liked his lyrics and you were just like

:))) I :)) Hate :))))) You :)))) ByungChan

and like there was no way for you to even defend yourself bc chan was making you out to be some crazy fan like “oh man yn wouldnt sTOP talking abt this one line you wrote in IF and it was like 4am like bro i already dont sleep and they kept me up”

minho the Jerk was like !!! theyre blushing aww!!!

Cue you going even more red like Bang Chan youre a dead man :)

And changbin was just rly ? bashful ? he was surprisingly mature abt this and he just kept his reply rly simple like “ah really? thanks, that means a lot, esp coming from such an amazing writer like yourself!”

and you felt like Dying bc

were you that weird in his eyes that he couldnt even joke abt this now?? like did he just find you Super Creepy he just went all Awkward + Formal on you???

nAH HE WAS INTERNALLY SCREAMING BUt unfortunately you didnt know that bc he was holding it in so. well.

the major TBH is that chan was so trying to set you up

like,,, look at the seating arrangement man, he HAD to put you two together bc

you wouldnt stop talking abt how much you loved changbin’s skills

and omg changbin was even worse

as soon as he found out chan was working with you he was Begging to join too!!

he was like!!!! i need help!! so much help pLS LET ME WORK WITH THEM P L S

and chan just to tease the both of you prolonged this out for so. long. bc Hes the Devil

honestly he was so close to bursting into laughter when changbin gave you such a formal reply bc hE KNEW he was going crazy inside like

he always talked abt how cool you were with all the songs you wrote, he loved how you were so emotive and creative with your words, you really inspired him

and his bEST FRIEND was woRKING WITH YOU and NOT giving him your phONE NUMBER chan is the ult snake

chan basically confirmed everything when he asked you who your fave in 3racha was and you said that chan was

bc like lmfao s u r e it was

and then when chan told changbin your fave was jisung he looked the tiniest bit Sad which basically just confirmed everything in chan’s mind

and he felT BAD THAT he straight up lied to changbin bUT

he did that like the day before he was gonna introduce you two

so he had already planned to expose you and see changbin blush like Crazy

Unfortunately only you were blushing but,,, he Knew

and when he saw you and changbin trailing behind the group after dessert, phones out to exchange details, he Knew ;^))) 

i rly didnt know where i was going with this and then i just button smashed this lmfao also sorry i didnt mention the height thing?? i didnt know if you wanted that to be an important plot point but i like the openness of this lmao sorry i’ll make up for it one day hopefully. i hope u like it anyway ++ im so so sry its so late!!!

[botanyshitposts]

Please tell us more stories about the corn!!

brief preface: i live in iowa, one of the united states’ largest producers of corn (as in maize for those overseas), and worked at a corn breeding research facility. these guys are in charge of creating new lines of seed for farmers to grow; i took the job because it was the only plant science-related job i could, and it sucked but it wasn’t the worst job ive ever had and i made bank because it sucked and no one wanted to do it. there were two parts to this job: data collection and pollination. i wrote out a huge thing on the details of these and then decided it was too long and rambly so imma just gonna skip that stuff and get to the Weird Liminal Space Corn Stories:

-for data collection, our job was to take plant an ear hights in fields all around iowa, meaning that we would get to work in the morning and they would load us up into transit vans and drive us out to a random small town with a test field for testing. once we got there, we had 16-foot-tall wooden measuring sticks we would unfold and bring into the field with us, and the instructions from there were simple: 2 people on each side of the breeder. you measure the line of corn behind you by sticking ur stick next to an average looking plant and reading off first how far up on the plant the first ear of corn was, then reading off how far the base of the flag leaf was. then, you turn around to face the line of corn behind you, and while youre turning around and sticking your measuring stick into the ground on that side your partner reads there numbers, you read your second line of numbers, your partner reads their second line, and then you walk into the nearest alley and march up two lines of corn while the people on the other side of the breeder go. you read the two data points on one side. your partner reads and u turn around. you read the data points behind you. your partner does. while you are going, your breeder is walking up the field typing in the numbers on a data logger and the other team is walking up two rows. once you reach the end of the field, your breeder stops you, you walk two plots down and turn the other direction. you read off your data points, ect, you do that all the way down the field. you do this for hours until your set is done. all told, once your team of 5 people gets oriented and going, it should sound like this to you:

stick. 65, 102. turn. stick. 68, 104. pick up stick. walk down two rows. stick. 85, 102. turn. stick. 84, 103. pick up stick. walk down two rows. ect. you have to annunciate yourself and not talk to your teamates so the breeder can hear you through the corn. on windy days, you have to shout. you dont have time to stop and talk; you actually barely have time to do anything but focus on the manual task of number, turn, number, walk, number, turn, number, walk. when we were done, we would come out covered in sweat and dirt with our sticks, pile in the transit van, and drive like, the 2-3 hours back. work days were about 9 hours with 5 in the field, meaning that you worked 40 hours a week and could do overtime on weekends doing pollination (which was actually really fun). 

-no headphones. at first i thought that rule was stupid, but like, once you enter a cornfield you realize that this is because 1. if someone is screaming your name you need to be able to hear and 2. corn touches everything; when you’re in the corn, there is always something touching you. we wore special hats with veils, long pants, long shirts, eye protection, and closed toed shoes because the corn leaves are sharp and will cut you up; i have scars from this. your headphones would get ripped out within like, .3 seconds, because like corn just snags and slices up everything. 

-one time, on the hottest day of the summer, we were doing the number-turn-number-walk routine and heard someone yelling for our breeder guy. he stopped us short and called back, and like, this is the scary part about cornfields: like i said in the tags of that one post, corn swallows up sound more than anything. it’s impossible to tell where you are and impossible to hear anything, even if you scream, so its best to stay close to your team unless your doing solo work, and if you’re doing solo work like, for the love of god, keep walking in the direction youre supposed to be walking until you’re finished. trust that theres something on the other side, even if you cant see it. but anyway; hes yelling, and shes yelling, and suddenly she bursts through the corn after searching for us and says that this one kid is having a seizure. queue both of them running out of the corn and we’re just standing there. eventually we hear one of the other breeders yelling “___’s group, where are you?!” and we’re like “over here! we’re over here!” and put our sticks up, and the other breeder comes into the alley and we keep doing data points. we had like, 6 kids go home that day because of how hot it was (over 100 degrees) and we ended up not finishing the field because they decided it wasnt safe for us to work anymore. (also, kid was predisposed to seizures and they took him home, he was fine and came back to work a couple days later)

-i kind of talked about this in the tags of that other post, but i think the scariest day was the day we were in a test field a little ways away from the research center. it was kind of stormy but we were like ok whatever, we’ve gotten rained on before with no problem, queue us starting the data collection for the day. its…..really windy. like. i wish i could recreate that feel in art or something or even film it someday, because 1. when the wind blew, the whole field-which, remember, this is our whole world when we’re in there because you can’t see anything but corn in every direction- moved. like, bended, which is typical of corn because like yeah duh it does that, but its like if you were standing in a hallway and suddenly all the walls bent with the wind and so did the cieling. it was that disorienting; i actually stumbled a few times because the only steady thing was the ground and 2. it was loud, like a weird roar in the background. everything is rustling all around you at once. we had to scream our numbers for the breeder to hear us, and when i moved my measuring stick would catch the wind and drag me back a little. then, we heard thunder in the distance. our breeder was like “okay guys we’re gonna finish this field because we’re only like 4 ranges away from the road” and we’re like ok yeah, 40 plots, we can do this. the wind picked up, we kept moving at like twice the pace to get out of there, and when we reached the end it was really close and our breeder was like “come on we have to go now” and we like, picked up our sticks and ran through the corn bending around us with the thunder and everything, can i say midwestern gothic because ive never experienced midwestern gothic more than 4 teenagers with corn sticks and a dude with a data logger running through a discombobulating corn haze at 11am with thunder rolling in. we get to the edge of the field, scramble over the barbed wire fence because we are not running through the rest of the field. in a hot second more teams emerge from the field at various speeds just as it starts storming. we pack up our sticks. our team of four gets in our breeder’s pickup truck and we drive back in the rain. it was a look guys ngl

-throwback to when i just finished doing solo tagging of the ranges in the corn in a field three hours away from the research center. our breeder said to meet him back at the truck when we were done, so when i reach the end of the field having stapled on tags for around 100 ranges (about ten minutes of walking and stapling alone in a single line; these tags will help orient harvesting in the fall), i turn around and start heading straight back, because like again, when you’re in the corn alone its best to know exactly where you are and the way out is always a straight line. i start following my tagging trail back. about five minutes into walking i hear rustling near me. y’all, i was not ready, started jogging and checking behind me and after a little bit i slow down because i feel like i lost whatever it was. rustling continues like its following me. hellno.jpg, not today, i run out of the corn into the alley on the other side, decide i must have imagined it, and start walking towards the truck. as it turns out it was another one of the guys who didn’t know where to go, saw me from his row, and was following me to find his way out of the corn. almost died that day y’all

-occasionally we would visit fields to do brittle snap count, which is lining up, walking a plot, stopping, and yelling out how many broken stalks of corn we counted in the plot we just walked through, then continuing. the whole thing is that farmers understandably hate it when all their corn breaks and dies. we went to this one field that had been hit by a wind storm; it was a really hot day and we were all like dying. this is where my aforementioned scarring comes in. in cornfields, there exists a thingy called corn rash. this is where the corn hits your skin so much that it makes tiny cuts all over you, and then pollen from said corn gets in the cuts along with sweat. it is the worst time i have ever experienced in my life like literally nope would not recommend. eventually we realized that half this field of test crop was broken. like, we stopped counting the amount of plants with broken stems and instead started counting the amount of plants still standing. i was wearing all the protection i needed/that was required (so was everyone else), but it was so hot that literally all of us had corn rash and i was bleeding, big yikes. eventually our super nice breeder for the day realized that we were Struggling™ and was like ok listen we’re going back this isn’t worth it and all the corn is literally dead inexplicably anyway and then took us to get gas station ice cream after bc she felt bad for us lmao, a blessing

-talked to the breeders a lot and asked a ton of questions. learned that sunflower breeding is a thing that happens and that they’re bred to be larger to bear more seed for like, those bags of sunflower seeds you see at gas stations. the more u know

-zoo corn

-the corn in the pollination fields (the corn being bred into pure, genetically identical lines for testing….*insert Corn Discourse Concerning Loss Of Genetic Diversity Here But Not Gonna Talk About It In This Post Bc Its Already Super Long*) gets really weird mutations that i’ve talked about before

-this post got so long im sorry

tl;dr: corn is a terrifying liminal space

[oflgtfol]

because im procrastinating on my homework, here's my vague outline of the sw x razia AU that tortures my brain every few months

PREFACE: my main idea is that the sw characters are playing out the storyline of razia's shadow. act 1 follows the prequels with minimal changes. act 2 follows the original trilogy, but the storyline has some major tweaks to fit better. the most important thing to mention is that the adakias/anhura romance is scrapped entirely. also some major changes to the star wars storyline to fit as well. such as luke knowing that darth vader is his dad and being like, raised with him from day one

characters:

ahrima = anakin

nidria = padme

toba the tura = obi-wan

o the scientist = the jedi council and/or specifically obi-wan??? i guess i'd pick and choose which fulfills which role depending on when the story calls for it

barayas = palpatine

adakias = luke

anhura = leia

pallis = darth vader

sangara = darth vader's assistant guy i cant remember his name. absolute side character but i thought it would be funny to add LOL

bawaba brothers, unified into one person = yoda

doctor dumaya = palpatine as well

act 1 story:

the angels are the jedi. padme is there too i guess. anakin is the prodigy angel, the best of them all, but he feels unacknowledged by the council and obi-wan. they entertain his idea that he's the best, but don't ever actually recognize it in a way that satisfies him. he finds consolation in padme who supports him through it

to prove that he IS the best, he creates the lamps. idk what the lamps would be in this AU. but again, the council doesn't spare him the time of day. defeated and angry, he storms off into the darkness..... where palpatine greets him, and tells him tall tales of just how great he actually is. go ahead and destroy the lamps, he tells anakin, then they'll finally see how great you are. one day they'll see and appreciate your power

so he destroys the lamps. the whole world is in ruin, everything is destroyed. people have died en masse. i guess padme dies during it too

and there, at the end of it all, obi-wan confronts him. they battle it out, and in the end, anakin is kicked into the flames of his own making. he burns yada yada like in canon, obi-wan leaves him to die

a 20-year, minute-long intermission:

aka this is the fall of the republic and the rise of the empire, anakin becomes darth vader, but since its taking place in razia's shadow, then its actually the world is being separated into dark and light. although i guess maybe i'll shift it, so that it's not perfectly half and half. the dark would be the empire and so a majority of the world will live there, but the light would be i guess like rebel "planets," so it's much smaller. and i would say there's no war really going on, it's just that the light is the last bastion of like, good life left i guess, hidden away from the dark lol

act 2 story:

luke is a prince of the dark. he lives with his father, darth vader, who has expectations of him as a prince of the dark. but luke finds that he can't quite fit in with whats expected of him - he tries to be all dark and mean and cruel, but he can't bring himself to do it. instead, he dreams of a better life - he's heard stories of the kingdom of light, and of the prophecy that one day the dark will fall and the two will be reunited once more. he dreams that he will be the prophecized one to reconnect them again, much to his father's frustration

and one day he sneaks away and travels to the light anyway. once luke's absence is noticed, darth vader is sent to fetch him back to the dark

meanwhile, as luke enters the kingdom of the light, he finds leia. she, too, had been feeling like she was destined for more. she dreamed of reuniting the dark and light just as luke had. they instantly connect as close friends, and together they go to HER parents, the organas, who lead the kingdom of light.

it starts getting shaky here because the original story depended on adakias being a little piece of shit and i dont think luke would act that way. so idk. if i followed the original story, then luke's status as a prince of the dark would be kept secret, and his Dark Presence would start poisoning leia and then they'd go off to find a cure instead of like, idk, him coming clean about who he is and not putting her life in fucking danger........? but as i said, i dont think luke would do that. idk.

so perhaps the organas know who luke is. but they want to keep leia safe, so they dont reveal the fact that they're twins, and therefore leia is also related to darth vader...? they just warn her that oohhoh this boy is Dark. stay away...... like how everyone didnt want the twins together in canon or something idk.

and so luke and leia still leave anyway. again idk why they'd leave. but they still leave. luke is feeling guilty about being related to darth vader, doesnt tell her that he's a prince of the dark, etc. but i guess since theyre twins she wouldnt get sick actually anyway lol

OH maybe they go leave the light because of jedi shenanigans and thats how they find: YODA! who regales them stories of the fall of the republic, darth vader, and all that, while teaching them about how to be jedi

and then i guess they go to confront palpatine. who is playing the RS role of the doctor but instead of looking for medicine bc leia is dying, they're just going to fight him as the emperor. and then darth vader finally catches up to them in the final showdown. he's like, luke, i am here to take you home, step away from the light princess. and luke's heritage as the prince of the dark is revealed, wah, and then also somehow the fact leia is luke's sister is also revealed, probably by palpatine? again, i said it's very shaky here. so all the family reveals cause all that drama

and then somehow there's a scuffle. i guess once vader hears from palpatine that leia is his daughter that's when he turns on palpatine. and then palpatine fucking dies but vader gets stabbed. and so then he slowly dies surrounded by luke and leia and he has that whole thing he did in canon about liek let me look at you with my own eyes or whatever but also now his daughter is here too. and then he dies . rip. and then the dark vs light divide falls. bc like how adakias was the prophecized one in RS, and anakin was ~the chosen one~ in sw, his death now is the prophcized way to reunite the dark and light. IDK.

the end. and the beginning <3

WAIT IM SO STUPID. the dark vs light kingdoms could be such a great way to facilitate sith vs jedi stuff too AUGHGHG. i really have to do homework now so i dont have time to sprinkle that into what i've already written but just imagine