#rip dickmaster

[bibluebutterfly]

That smile he gives her before he dies…

HE LOVED HER DO Y’ALL UNDERSTAND?? THEY LOVED EACH OTHER 😭😭

[activesplooger]

Bro if Vox dies I'm never watching the show again /srs

lowkey same…

PLS THO DONT KILL VOXXXX!!! i feel like he can be redeemable. actually i like him toxic. but keep him alive and (un)well pls!!!

hh already killed adam which honestly made me die inside (rip dickmaster). pls no.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

I thought Adam was either a demon or super fucking ugly cus he wore his Holy mask the whole time.

But finding out he's just a really normal ass looking guy is so funny to me.

There's just a normal pathetic misogynistic sadistic guy under there.

He's a Anon hater or Reddit mod behind the mask and that's pretty great.

[adamslilsuccbi]

His groupie

((NSFW))

Adam invited you after his gig ! What an honour !(I hope your holes are ready-)

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Just like my previous shot with Lucifer , the reader is an Heaven born angel who’s quite..sheltered ? I mean , she’s never been to a rock concert before , too busy showing around Heaven to winners angels or playing with animals and bugs..

Emily thinks you might need to open yourself a bit more to…other things , especially after when she saw you trying to make a conversation with a squirrel and started to cry when it ran away from you.

“So..Emi ? How do I look ? Are you sure for the black ? Isn’t it a bit sinful ?”

Emily let out a small gasp with stars in the the eyes as she saw your outfit ! So cute ! From the black top , ripped black shorts and the big boots made you look..a bit like you were wearing a costume but let’s say the curves of your body as well as your cleavage made you look less uncomfortable.

“Wow Y/N ! Oh and don’t worry , a colour won’t make you sin ! Come on !”

Y/N smiled as she saw that at least she won’t be alone in this one ! Emily was here too ! And they were even matching..

On the way to the concert , Emily had started to explain to you the talents of Adam - the first person created on earth and the first soul of heaven from what you knew..Hmm , you had always thought Abel was the first..didn’t matter ! Apparently he often gave concerts, playing the guitar and having fun on stage. But you didn’t knew much about his personality.

“Oh if he’s the First man he must been an exemple of purity and good will of men !”

Emily coughed nervously as she heard your words , oh you were not ready for THE first man..

“Oh..don’t get your hopes too high..”

“No but really ! Made in the image of God..he must be an amazing man !”

When finally at the concert , this made you realise this was really not your scene , that place full of screams and heavy rock made you really uncomfortable as you tried hard not to get crushed by anyone..The music from the strings of Adam's guitar, ended, the audience began to reluctantly leave. Loudly shouting goodbye: “Adios, bitches !” Or something similar this made Emily cringe and you confused , no you must have heard wrong ! That was impossible to think.., Adam went to the dressing room as your eyes followed him..

Not just your eyes , you decided to follow him while Emily was going to take cold drinks to calm you down.

She didn’t even knew why she found herself tippy toeing to his changing room as she overheard him.

"Aaargh, fuck !! , that was fucking awesome!" Adam exhaled loudly, wiping the sweat from his face with a towel. His right hand, Lute, stood nearby, helping him or more like cleaning around at his place.

Having made your way to his dressing room, next to which stood Adam's obsessed fans, you finally decide for the first time in your life... Talk to the first man.

“Uhm excuse me ?”

“WOAH FUCK-“

Adam lost his balance as he heard your sweet voice from literally nowhere , also the fact he had no fucking idea who you were

“Yo wtf ??! Think you can just waltz your way here ??”

You jumped a bit , surprised by his sudden loud voice..what a disappointment. He was just another men.

“I deeply apologies First Man ! I didn’t mean to-“

Adam shushed her , before jumping in his couch and opening a can of cold beer that Lute passed him before leaving the two of them.

“Oh fuck it little miss hottie , don’t call me that , make me sound like a fucking pussy….call me Dickmaster.”

As he took a long gulp of cold beer , he couldn’t see her extremely confused expression…what did any of what he said even had to do with anything ??

“Sooooo , what ? One of those little groupie that tries to suck their fav rockstar after the show ? Cause I’m totally into that shit !”

Group..ie ? What-what was that even supposed to mean ? Uh..if she said she wasn’t what that meant..would-would she get in trouble ? Are only those…groupies ? Allowed there ? What did he meant by sucking ? Like..a kiss ? Or a love bite ? Gasp ! that was sinful ! But..Adam was made in God’s image..so..was giving him a kiss so sinful ?

“Uh..yeah ! Totally ! That’s why I came..here !”

She didn’t miss the sudden grin on Adam’s face when she said that

“Ah fucking finally ! If you knew how hard it is to have one of those fucking holier than thou chicks to help with my fucking pipe !! Now come here babe..”

She slowly walked to him , not because she was teasing him but more because she was trying to guess what was a kiss going to feel like..

She yelp as he placed rough and ungraceful hands on her hips and…turned her around to bend her over..

“Wh-wow !”

She heard his sharp laugh as well as on his sharp clawed like finger started to pull down on her shorts verrry slowly.

“What ?? Thought we were just going to make out and that’s all ?? Oh not when I’m so fucking hard babe..”

Y/N blushed furiously as she started to see where this situation was going to..she wasn’t 100% innocent..she had already seen things..accidentally naturally ! But she seen it..She wasn’t that dumb..why did she feel so..warm ?

“Alright babe..hope you’re ready cuz we ain’t in a movie here , I’m not going to be all sweet and shit like , don’t except after care or whatever they call it !”

Well at least that was honest , Adam was huge , and maybe her hole wasn’t made to be stretched so far and so fast , Adam wasn’t only long but also thick as well as the tip that was awfully veiny…and she couldn’t tell if his body hairs was scratching her or was reassuringly caressing her skin.

“Yeah-fucking like that right ?! Whoooo ! Dickmaster can go at it all night long babe ! Huh ? You like that huh ? To be fucked by your rockstar ?!”

All of this was so intense for the angel that she couldn’t even form a sentence , only able to nod , the sounds of Adam’s grunt mixed with the slaps of her ass the wet sounds making him seemingly go even more feral

“A-Adam~”

“Yeah fucking louder babe !”

The screams , moans and grunts kept getting louder and louder as they both reached their climax together.

“Oh fuck-“

Adam didn’t had the time to pull out“Uh..well , I hope you’ll take a plan B because I won’t be here to assume anything babe.”Still completely wasted by the animalistic like speed , her legs trembling as he catches her back

“Wooooow , careful there fat tits , wouldn’t want my little groupie to break something ! Soooo…what’s your favourite song of mine ?”

Laying on the couch to soothe her aching and trembling legs she slowly raised her head

“Oh..you know..I like what you like..”

“Fuck yeah you do.”

Ah and Emily only knew that you were safe the next day when you called her..ah and yes , Adam brought you home.

((THE END !!))

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

SpongeBob Prehibernation Week

Mating season au

Sinner: [whispering to Sinner 2] This is a load of shit.

Lucifer: I heard that! No one's going anywhere until we find Adam!

Sinner 3: Uh... uh, wait! [picks up Sinner 4] Uh, here he is!

Lucifer: That ain't Adam! Adam is chubby!

[Sinner 3 shapes Sinner 4 into a chubby figure.]

Sinner 4: [in a poor imitation of Adam] I'm the Dickmaster! I'm the Original Dick!

Lucifer: No, you ain't! [Sinner 5 holds up a short chubby sinner]

Sinner 5: I found Adam!

Lucifer: That's just an another sinner. Besides, he's taller than him.

Niffty: [holds up a plushie of Adam] Uh... here he is! Hey, can I go home now? [Lucifer becomes annoyed]

Vaggie: [points up] Oh, look! He's up in the sky! [Lucifer happily looks up, but Adam's not in the sky]

Lucifer: He's not... huh? [everyone is gone] They must have gone to search some more. [continues searching for Adam] Adam, where are you?! [lifts up a house] You under there?! [lifts up another house] Nope! [lifts up another house]

Alastor: [handcuffed to a bed and in his underwear] Uh, I can explain.

Lucifer: [lifts up another house] Adam?! [lifts up another house] Nope! [lifts up another house] Nope! [lifts up another house] Nope! Adam, where are you?!

Angel: [everyone is looking at Lucifer] The king gone crazy.

Cherri: But he'll never look inside Hazbin Hotel.

Adam: [laughs] You said it! Lucifer never find us! [everyone glares at Adam. He chuckles, and they throw him out] Hey, wait, you don't understand!

Husk: [pops out from Hazbin Hotel] Oh, look, it is I, Adam, out here in the open! [Lucifer turns around with hearts eyes]

Lucifer: Adam?

Adam: [screams in horror] C'mon, let me back in! You don't understand! [Lucifer hugs him while everyone cheers]

Lucifer: Oh, Adam, I was so worried! I thought something terrible happened! [picks up Adam] Come on, there's just enough time to go smashing!

Adam: Luci, put me down!

Lucifer: There's no time to wait! Mating season! [runs away from Hazbin Hotel while carrying Adam]

Charlie: [returning to Hazbin Hotel with groceries and an ice cream] Who are you people?!

HAHAHAH 🤣 Thank you Anon this is beautiful lol

No Alastor I don't think I want you to explain lol

Lucifer being so desperate to mate with Adam he enlisted everyone he knew to find that first man booty.

You'd think the hotel would be the first place to look but Adam got lucky, until they threw him out.

RIP Adams booty, there's another week left of mating season.

Charlie those are your friends haha

[crooked-wasteland]

Hazbin Hotel Live Blog: Overture

. While I am being kind to the show as it is, I cannot push out of my mind the fact that this is still Vivienne Medrano, and while this seems to be an interesting direction the series is considering to take the story, I am lacking any intrigue. Medrano has a knack for interesting ideas, but once executed are often trimmed down from all nuance and then played in the most straight forward and storybook fashion.

Evil existed before and separate from Lucifer

Eve is linked to the root of evil through the animation

Dichotomy of Lilith and Lucifer

Why does Heaven think Hell will rise up?

Charlie is reading the storybook to herself. Aloud. And the reason is because she’s like a child seeking comfort. Also Charlie’s delivery of “Pretty worked up” is just feeling off. Like isn’t this supposed to be a somber moment? Why is it delivered so chipper? The pilot had her crying and singing a lamentation. Downgrade.

Info dump dialogue

“This kingdom was something she really cared about.”

Vaggie’s voice is such a downgrade. She sounds so uninterested.

“Daddy issues by fixing you” So alastor knows about Charlie’s family situation already.

The lineart around Alastor is so distracting. It’s so bizarrely thick.

I wish there was no dialogue

Her dad calls her but she is supposed to have a strained relationship.

I feel like Medrano doesn’t know what Angel Dust is. As in the actual drug. PCP is not Cocaine.

That was the worst segue into a song I ever saw.

“If you dont mind the smell, it’s a happy day in hell.” I hate this line.

Vaggie just never sounds right, does she? Her singing is so nasal dominate it doesn’t sound like her throaty modal voice.

What was the contract? What did it say? Why even have Charlie sign anything if we have no concept of what that is? It is such a rip off from Ariel’s contract in the Little Mermaid that it feels more like an Easter egg than relevant to the story actively being told. You need to show why the actions happening are taking place, you cant just do things and expect us to pick up the pieces for you. Are you trying to get across that Heaven is full of bureaucracy and paperwork? There is no receptionist and no other person in the building until she signs ONE paper. You failed at portraying an overabundance of bureaucratic red tape and it is distracting and infuriating. All I see are the better DISNEY MOVIES that were clearly just plagiarized. Not an homage, not inspired. Plagiarized.

Lucifer calls Charlie to meet Adam. Adam says he knows. So this doesn’t feel like this is Charlie filling in, the way the dialogue is written is that it was specifically planned for Charlie to meet Adam.

Everything has a gradient.

I bet $15 that the Dickmaster portion of Adam’s dialogue was Alex Brightman’s improv. I was not impressed by his Kaiju Dick improv in Oops and this is just as flaccid. Pun intended.

There is a clear discccrepency in talent between Alex and Erika. He has such a smoother voice and range while Erika feels like a Disney understudy where every delivery is pretty much identical to the last. Like the songs themselves are not doing her any favors. They range from bad to mediocre, and even in the better songs, there is always one horrifically bad lyric that just ruins the entire experience.

I like Lute. She feels like Peridot.

RIP Katie Killjoy.

Nifty is cute. The joke for her had a lot of potential of being hilarious but didn’t meet my threshold of comedy due to lacking a feel for Nifty. Imagine if she was in every scene with Vaggie talking her head off and never shutting up. Then when Vaggie is like, “If anyone can sell this hotel, it’s Nifty.” And we had this foundation that Nifty is known for being a huge chatterbox only to then be dead silent when the camera is on her. It would have been hilarious. But we see her once and she has one singular line previous. So it just feels like a cheap visual gag.

As a musical, it is lackluster. I see that Evil is something separate from Lucifer and something he dislikes. Lucifer is said to see free will as a spring of creativity, but humans used it to suck and that killed Lucifer’s love of life. In the meantime, Lilith is empowered by Hell. Hell fuels her sense of freedom, which she spreads through her “songs”. Only for her to just vanish I guess. She just hopes out without a word, Charlie says she must be doing something important over the last 7 years, but no inclination on what important things Lilith would be doing. Additionally, Lilith is said to have loved Hell, like Charlie. So it sets up this idea that Lucifer dislikes Hell or even hates it, while Lilith revels in it. Alluding to their marriage falling apart from this dissonance. At the same time, Lucifer calls Charlie to meet with Heaven, despite the pilot being canon. So we get the impression that Charlie and Lucifer had a falling out (“Maybe dad was right.”) but she doesn’t have much more than surprise at her father calling. Then he just sets up this meeting for her to meet with Adam off screen entirely. It is unclear how this was conveyed, but Lucifer doesn’t believe in Charlie and her meeting Adam has nothing at all to do with her hotel.

But the way Adam talks about the meeting is unusual in that it gives the impression that it wasn’t about Charlie “filling in”, but that this whole meeting was specifically set for Charlie and Adam. This is compounded by how the ending reads like they didn’t know if the angel was dead until that moment. So the extermination being moved up has nothing to do with the angel’s death. Maybe I’m wrong, but this all feels really disjointed.

But Lute really is just Peridot. So much so that when asked what I liked about the episode, I literally said “Peridot”, not Lute. The one good aspect of this episode is another stolen concept from a better show with a more competent creator. But I also like Alex Brightman’s singing. He is very talented and he does elevate the material by really playing with his delivery, but it’s still at best Mid due to the weak lyrics,

3/10

[rileyglas]

Hey You Up? pt. 2

How (I think) each male Hazbin Hotel character would wake you up in a *strictly platonic* way

Part two of my own silly little side headcanons that I felt like putting out in between working on my List series.

If ya'll want the NSFW part of my brain (Or the female characters) - let me know

Part 1

Masterlist

Adam

~Sleep in? Why? We’re in Heaven bitch!  ~Doesn’t bother knocking, just busts in the door and jumps into your bed, “Sup dude - let’s fuckin go!” ~ When you groan and fold the pillow over your face he gets frustrated “Commonnnn don’t be such a buzzkill!” ~ Annoyingly jams out, with or without his guitar depending on his mood, singing about how you should wake up. ~ You eventually give in, getting up just to make the ‘dickmaster’ shut the fuck up and leave.

Angel Dust

~ Knows sometimes sleep is best, hell he sleeps to get away from things. ~ Knocks quietly in hopes to not startle you. ~ Peeks his head in after a few minutes, speaks softly “Hey toots, Ms. Sunshine and Rainbows wants you downstairs for the group activity.” ~ Seeing you’re struggling to wake up he might bring you some water or medicine if it’s hangover related. He has those kinds of mornings all too often. ~ Sets everything down on your table and leaves quietly to give you some space but will probably come check on you after a few minutes.

Sir Pentious

~ Bolts into your room without knocking. Not to be rude but because he is too socially awkward to realize knocking is the polite thing to do. ~ “Exssssssscuse me? Are you doing ‘a sssssleep’? ~ Isn’t sure how to wake you, so he calls in a few of his eggbois for help. ~ You feel the eggs climb into your bed and proceed to poke at you above the covers. ~ When you don’t respond, either from annoyance or being in a deep sleep, they assume the worst, “I do believe this one is dead, boss. Should we dispose of the body?” ~ Sir Pentious panics at the thought of you actually being dead and begins shaking you violently, “Oh cruel world! Pleasssse wake up!” ~ Frustrated, you finally sit up, “I’m not dead you idiots!” ~ “Oh good. Charlie needssss you. Come now eggs.” he hisses happily, having completed his mission successfully.  ~ You realize you really should invest in a better door lock.

Vox

~ Has cameras in your room, so he knows you’ve been asleep for a while.  ~ Why use doors when he can just zip into your room directly.  ~ The type to fling the shades open to blast bright light on you (if there’s no window he will turn the brightness up on his screen while increasing his volume, “Get up! I have a packed schedule and Val needs you in the studio.” ~ If you don’t respond he will rip your blankets off, slowly losing patience. “I said…get…up!” his voice distorts with static. ~ Debates shocking you awake but decides he rather you awake than a convulsing, drooling mess.  ~ Doesn’t have the time or energy to keep trying, “Fine. I’ll just send Val in to deal with you.” he yells over his shoulder before zapping back out the room. ~ You get up immediately at the thought of having to pull Val away from work. Fuck that.

[kittenfangirl20]

*Adam and Angel Dust were hanging when Angel Dust’s cellphone rings, he looks at it and sees that it is Valentino calling*

Angel Dust: Fuck, it’s Valentino.

*Angel Dust answers the phone*

Angel Dust: Hello………… What do you mean I have to come in right now? I thought you said I could have the day off……….. I know, I know, you want to try some new stuff out, but I haven’t had the day off in a long time.

*Angel Dust looks defeated at whatever Valentino told him, before he could could respond by saying that he would come right away, Adam takes the phone from Angel Dust*

Adam: Hey shit stain, my friend has the day off and if he is forced to come in you are going to regret it!!!!!!

*Adam pauses because Valentino was probably saying something like “What are you going to do about it” while probably bringing up that he owns Angel Dust*

Adam: I was hoping you would ask that. I would rip off all you arms, wings, and legs, curb stomp your most likely unimpressive dick. Then I would barbecue you with my Hellfire, after that I would pin your charred remains to a billboard as a warning to anyone who thinks that they can fuck with my friends. Unlike Charlie who is a good kid, when I give a threat I have no problem following through with it.

*Adam then hands the phone to Angel Dust and after listening to what he had to say, Angel Dust hung up the phone*

Angel Dust: Well, turns out that not only do I not have to go in today. I now have the week off with pay and I am also getting a raise. Thanks Dickmaster.

Adam: Hey, what are friends for.

*Adam and Angel Dust fist bump*

[unfilteredaj]

HAZBIN HOTEL SEASON 1 FINALE SPOILER REVIEW:

WARNING: SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT.

——

• ASHDJDHSHJD THAT CLIP OF CHARLIE IN FRONT OF ANGEL’S ROOM THAT MADE EVERYONE THINK HE DIED WAS JUST HER GETTING EMOTIONAL PRE-FIGHT AWE BLESS I LOVE CHARLIE SO MUCH. BBG.

• LUTE AND ADAM. I don’t think you heard me. I SAID LIEUTENANT DANGERTITS AND ADAM DICKMASTER. THE FIRST MAN AND HIS FAVORITE DESCENDANT. THEY ARE THE FUCKING BLUEPRINT.

• ADAM AND ALASTOR’S FIGHT? YOO!!!

•Alastor’s mic getting broke and getting to hear Amir’s sexy ass voice go “…fuck.” Will forever live in my brain rent free and I’m NOT kidding.

• I would hate fuck Adam he’s kind of hot tbh. Face reveal was WORTH IT. Rip I guess lmaooo

•LUCIFER COMING IN CLUTCH AT THE END. (Ten bucks says Jeremy Jordan can just DO THAT.)

•Alastor coming back after taking a minute to go ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FERAL. Like bro just needed a second to tweak.

•SIR PENTIOUS OH MY FUCKING GOD. AND HE GOT ANGELFIED? IN HEAVEN. Upgrades, comrades, upgrades. Bless that snakey boy.

• Fucking LILLITH. For the last seven years of IGNORING HER DAUGHTER… had FUCKED OFF SOMEWHERE. On a BEACH. IN HEAVEN. Lillith is gonna be a problem I just have a FEELING.

[the-maladjustedjester]

Rip Adam first man dickmaster you would’ve LOVED ninja sex party

[cow-tag]

Part two?? bro is short but an intro

I'm on the ground. What happened? Where's casey? Where's donnie? I'm right here. What? I'm here? Where are you? 

We're here. 

What? 

What happened? 

My head hurts. 

Maybe if you hadn't taken the goddamn crystal like I told you not to! Listen, it was just a joke, man! Ok, sure. Why are my jeans ripped? I have jeans? I don't wear clothes. Yeah i do? No, i don't. Weird. At least i still have my Bo. No i don't. Where's my bo? On your back, smartass. Oh, thanks, cavemouth. 

Why do i? What? Fascinating.. I wonder how this happened. Oh FUCK yeah! a third arm?? This is rad as hell, man! Oh, be quiet. You be quiet, dickmaster! Shut up, fuckhead! God, why do you have to be such an asshole? Because it's the only fucking way i can deal with your inccessant flirting! Oh please, you love it. That's not the point. Are you admitting it? Now is not the time to deal with this. How did this happen? Because we seem to be.. 

Together?

Yeah.

Holding the universe in his arms/////Fuck it we ball jonatello fusion fic real

literally so fucking exausted i might not even continue idfk but i needed to get it off my google docs so i can continue or smthn idfk but here yall go enjoy

The crystal glowed with an eerie light, illuminating the room and reflecting off Donnie’s goggles. They carefully chipped a piece off and held it under a microscope, watching the colors swirl and change. It was unlike anything they had ever seen before, and it certainly wasn’t recorded in human history. ‘Makes sense’ they thought, huffing to themself lightly. ‘I found it on a crashed Kraang ship, so it’s probably some sort of alien material.’ 

The object glowed and almost pulsed. It was mesmerizing, one could fall asleep if they stared at it for too long. But Donnie wasn’t going to sleep. Not just yet. 

Now, Donnie should have expected what happened next. It’s rare they get a moment of peace with their family. But, surprisingly, the person that tumbled into their lab with a laugh and a shout was not an orange and green blur. Donnie looked over at the absence of orange for a split second, but immediately turned back when they saw the intruder. Of course he would bother them at this exact moment. 

“Heeeyyy, Stickmaster!! What’s that shiny rock ya got there?” 

Arnold Casey Bernid Jones Junior. The way Donatello got his full legal name is not important. What is important is the fact that he is their greatest rival. In love, in snarky remarks, in machinery, you name it. Except intelligence. They trump him on that topic. But either way, he has no reason to be here, and Donatello had no reason to put up with him. 

“Nothing you need to know about Puckhead, now get out of my lab before I lose a foot up your ass.” Donatello doesn’t move from their spot examining the crystal, not even when they hear a chuckle and a soft “Hot.” come out of Casey. He’s been doing that lately. He’s been.. Flirting. More so than normal. Which in and of itself is a feat, considering the walking pansexual disaster flirts with almost everyone he meets. No, the flirting is not strange. It’s that he’s been flirting with Donatello. An insane thing to hear, Don was shocked the first time they heard any words of romantic affection come from his mouth. But, alas, this is true. It started out small, just little “damn!”s and wolf whistle coming from the human. But it’s been escalating more as of late. Patting their shoulder and giving them a sly smirk, random offhand comments about their attractiveness, a couple sexual innuendos thrown in with their regular banter. Donatello hated it. They hated it so much, they hated the way their face flushed when he got close, hated the way their stomach flipped when he smirked. It was ridiculous, unnecessary, horrible, but somehow the best feeling they’ve ever had. 

“Come on, I just wanna look! Just a little peek?” Casey whines, slumping over Donatello’s shoulder. He was close. Too close. They could feel the warmth emanating from his body, feel the unnaturally loud thrum of his heart, could feel his hot breath on their neck. He was too close. Far too close. They shrug him off the best they can, which resulted in him groaning and spinning their chair, and by proxy, them, to face him. He steps back and crosses his arms, a slight pout on his tan, freckled face. It shouldn’t have been endearing. “Listen, Shit-for-brains, I have work to do. I need to study this.” They turn back, hearing another loud groan come from their ally. 

“Doonniieeeeeee, you’ve been in here for days! That's the whole fukin’ reason I'm in here, Leo told me to come and get ya before she came in to whoop your sorry ass into bed.” Donnie scoffed, of course that was why he was here. Their sister. He would never come in here on his own terms. 

[a small part of Donnie deflated at that last thought. They smack that part of themself upside the head, and focus on ignoring his presence.]

“Well, you can tell her that I am just fine staying where I am. I have been keeping up with my hygiene, and have been eating and drinking properly. There is no reason I should need to leave.” Casey barks out a laugh, pushing Donnie’s tools across the table to lean in front of them. “‘You can tell her that I am just fine staying where I am’” Casey mocks them with a high, nasally voice, adopting a smug, reserved look as he does so. “Bull! When was the last time you went out and ate?” He then yells, reverting back to his regular, loud voice. Donnie shrinks back just a titch at the volume, before scoffing and crossing their arms. “This morning.” They say, pushing the goggles up on their forehead. 

Casey raises an eyebrow. “And what was the date of this, ‘this morning’?” he says, eyeing them suspiciously. Donnie pauses. 

“April 3rd.” 

There's a moment of silence before Casey bursts out laughing again. “April 3rd?!? Dude, it’s the fifth today!” Donnie jumps back at that, rushing to their laptop to check the human’s facts. He was right. HE WAS RIGHT?! Donnie had been cooped up in their lab for two whole days?! They swear it hadn’t been that long! But the universe was against them in this. And apparently was hellbent on making it worse, because Casey then grabbed the crystal. “So, on account of this new realization you have just had,” He said, holding the glowing thing above his head in a ceremonial way, “I am going to confiscate this until further notice.” 

Donnie stood up and shouted, lunging for the crystal. He somehow managed to swerve away from them, laughing and jumping around. “Casey! I don’t know if it’s safe to touch! It could be unstable!” They moved to grab it again, but he was too quick. How was he too quick?! “I dunno don, seems pretty safe to me.” He runs the crystal from the middle of his thigh to the side of his collarbone, smirking the whole time. It pushes up the side of his hoodie for just a moment, putting his hip and lower waist on full display. Casey wasn’t likely to be seen without layers of black clothing, and Donnie was surprised to catch a glimpse of freckled skin before the hoodie fell back down. Apparently Donnie was Immensely tired, because not only was Casey faster than them, that last little trick he pulled was effective in slowing them down even further. They curse themself for being so easily flustered. 

Casey laughed at Donnie’s state, hopping back and forth around them. Crystal in hand, he was literally running circles around them. Donnie continued to try and fail to grab the crystal from him, resulting in the pair entering a sort of dance. Casey came close, Donnie lunged, Casey dodged and barked out a laugh. The crystal seemed to grow brighter in Casey’s grip everytime the two made some sort of contact, illuminating his face in an ethereal way. This was not helping Donnie’s case at all. At some point Casey started dancing around the mutant, his laugh filling the room with joy. Donnie hated it. He came close, grabbed their hand. The crystal grew impossibly bright. He let go, spinning around and around, dragging Donnie with him. Donnie was dizzy and annoyed. This was so ridiculous! He was messing with a potentially dangerous force, with no regard for his safety! And while this was no different than normal, it was endlessly infuriating. To top it off, Casey ended the spin with a dip, holding donnie in one arm and the crystal in the other. He held the crystal far away from Donnie, but the light still managed to reach his eyes. 

There was a moment, a still moment, where everything was calm. Where, for a moment, the light filtered through Casey’s fingers with an unearthly glow. Where, for a moment, Casey’s normally dark eyes seemed to hold an entire galaxy. Where his smile was as big as could be, missing teeth and all. Where his dimples indented his cheeks in a way that perfectly matched the splattering of freckles on his face. Where all the acne scars seemed like stars, light spots scattered across his face. Donnie saw themself in his eyes, along with the galaxy they held. Logically, they know it was just the reflection of light off their goggles. But, for a moment, it seemed as though they were peering into puddles of space. And, for a moment, Casey was just so impossibly beautiful that they could not stand to look at him anymore. 

Thankfully, the moment was ended by the pair being enveloped in white light, forcing them both to close their eyes. 

[With how observant they were, Donnie seemed to miss Casey’s flush as he dodged and weaved, seeming to miss how loud his heart was. They seemed to miss that Casey did not have a galaxy in his eyes, because he was looking at Donnie like they were his whole universe.]

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Hey, Dana. Wanted to share a Hazbin Hotel Theory.

So I haven't been watching the show really, but since it is everywhere, I know a lot about it. Kinda like how everyone knows who Godzilla is and his deal despite never watching a Godzilla movie.

I have a theory that Alastor made a deal with Lilith to be granted enough power to topple Overlords in Hell and be the most dangerous mortal to ever manifest there, in exchange Liltih would ask him a future favour, like how Alastor didn't immediately tell what he wanted from Charlie with there deal.

Think about it, it has been made clear that Alastor's raw power was something no one had ever seen before. I think he was binded to Lilith and became strong. And when Lilith made that deal with Adam to be in Heaven, he followed her, explaining how Alastor knows who Adam is. That's why they were both gone for 7 years. But then Lilith wanted that favour for Alastor to look after Charlie and he was cast down back to Hell. Explains his disappearance and his hunger for more power and freedom than before.

What do you think?

Oooooooh. That's an interesting theory. That could very well be possible. That he made a deal with Lilith for power... and now he's served to protect Charlie and the Hotel...

However...

I've been thinking a lot about Alastar, and Lilith for that matter since the finale.

The popular theory,

(and the one I started before the youtubers jumped on it for clickbait because I have my own fuckin' opinions... sorry. half joke. not the time to get into that.)

But now that I'm re-evaluating what Lute said to Lilith....

Lilith owning Alastar's soul doesn't make sense...

Well, it does and it doesn't at the same time.

They might pull an "Eve is Lilith/ Rose is Pink Diamond" type of twist here... Because we are sincerely lacking a lot of information.

Lute told Lilith that her deal is Done and Adam is dead and Lute is in charge now.

So, because of the lack of context, does that mean that Lute was supposed to kill Adam for Lilith?

I don't think so... considering how destroyed she seemed when her beloved Dickmaster bit the dust (rip king)

So... what was the deal that Adam made with Lilith?

Adam is the one leading these exterminations, and is the one who admits it's his entertainment. He is so bored in heaven man....

So... was that the deal? Did Lilith order these exterminations???

But... if she controls Alastor's soul... why did she hold him back against Adam?

.... And yes. Alastor was not fighting at his full capacity against Adam. He was slaughtering all his Angel Ladies/Bitches with angelic weapons, but against Adam... He had no angelic weapons. He wasn't using them.

I don't doubt that Alastor was supposed to die in that fight.

He was supposed to die... He was never meant to kill Adam, despite his threats of "ending his fucking life" If he was even the least bit serious, he would have gone full demon mode and he would have had angelic weapons with him against Adam.

So, what was Lilith's deal with Adam before his death? .......

He'd be allowed to do exterminations and be protected?

Why would Lilith leave Lucifer and Charlie in Hell, and live it up in heaven and not look back? Why would she allow exterminations to happen if she sent Alastor to protect charlie???

The Seven Year absence DOES add up... however...

If we are to assume that Lilith scorned Lucifer for dooming humanity and just wants her vengeance on all the Sinners (having a simalar Mindset to Adam about sinners cus they were made from the same dust...)

I think there is absoultely more to it then that. Unlike the Stella family portraits in Helluva Boss... I don't think this is a woman in a marriage who was never happy... Like, she was at some point... and I feel it would be so lame if she was just a woman scorned by the men in her life so took it out on all of hell. there is something else going on and we don't have enough information.

So... She ordered the exterminations??? Also Ordered Charlie to be kept safe by Alastar???

Okay??? But... that's SUPER contradictory.

THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

It's really contradictory. and we just don't have all the information. But... something has been bugging me...

(ignore the youtube border couldn't get a decent screenshot of this)

People are saying that this is a result of his curse. Always supposed to be smiling.... but...

That's also Green. Green is the color of Alastor's power... his magic, but at the same time... it's like he's calling from forces that he does not have direct control over... Almost like this is the power that HE made a deal with to get... This is the power that he has as a result of his deal.

Alastar dresses in all red. There isn't much green on him. Why is his magic and powers all Green???

Well, sure, it's common color coding in animation/movies/everything that Green and Purple are the "evil" colors.

Alastar giving big shadow man vibes... Especially with his minions and how they look.

I don't think the Green power comes from Alastar himself....

What types of Deers do you know that have Tentacles?

As when his cane breaks...

IT SPARKS RED.

NOT GREEN.

ISN'T THAT INTERESTING.

Cause if his powers were strictly the green magic... don't you think his cane/microphone when it broke would spark green instead of red?

So given that... I think I have a new theory on who might own his soul. Someone else in Charlie's family we have not met yet.

[kittenfangirl20]

*a bold idea then entered Adaline’s mind*

Adaline: Kiss me….

*suddenly Lucifer cupped Adaline’s cheek and kissed her on the lips, it started out chaste, but quickly it grew in passion, when they pulled apart there was a thin line of spit connecting their lips*

Adaline: Luci……

*Lucifer’s heart swelled with joy, that wasn’t Adaline’s voice, that was Adam’s beautiful and perfect, he missed that voice, he missed hearing Adam sing, but when Adaline spoke again it was with her voice again which was nice, but it was Adam’s voice he wanted to hear more of, but he knew he would soon have it back again*

Adaline: That kiss was amazing.

Lucifer: It was, you are amazing, you are so beautiful.

Lucifer internally: I wish I could have seen that sooner instead of being blinded by Lilith’s lies.

Adaline: I saw the most beautiful garden and you were an angel.

*Lucifer kissed Adaline’s hand and the tip of each finger, if he could help Adaline become her true self sooner he would*

Lucifer: What if I told you that you are reincarnation of an angel and your body wants to go back to your real form?

Adaline: Me an angel? I like rock music, I cuss a lot, and I don’t think angels get as horny as I do.

Lucifer: Silly Adaline, those traits have always been a part of who you are. In fact I think it makes you quite charming.

*Adaline blushes*

Adaline: Who am I?

*the words were now more from curiosity than fear*

Lucifer: You are Adam the first man.

Adaline: Adam….. the garden I saw was Eden.

Lucifer: Yes, the Garden of Eden was real, it was your home and you fell in love with me there.

Adaline: Then why am I Adaline now?

Lucifer: Because I was an idiot who broke your heart in Eden. I came to right those wrongs, once you become Adam again we will be married and you shall be my Queen.

*just a sharp pain appeared in Adaline’s body, her body wanted to change back completely, it wanted to be with Lucifer and it was speeding up the process*

Adaline: It hurts….

*she now heard it, was Adam’s voice and this time it didn’t go away*

Adaline: My voice….

Lucifer: Your voice is beautiful.

*Lucifer picked up Adaline and opened a portal back to her home, Steve fell over in shock when he saw a portal from the park and Lucifer walked through holding Adaline*

Steve: Is Adaline alright?

Lucifer: I may have gotten Adam too excited and he is coming back soon.

Steve: Adam.

*Steve didn’t know why, but he always felt his sister was someone else, he remembered Adaline once getting in trouble at elementary school school because she got on top of the playground and loudly yelled out that she was the motherfucking Dickmaster and the parents had to explain that they didn’t know why knew words like motherfucking and Dickmaster, Lucifer lay Adaline on the couch as she screamed in what was definitely a man’s voice, Lucifer started to use magic to soothe Adam, Steve went to get something to help when he heard loud ripping noises saying that the outfit was probably destroyed because new body was too small for the new body, his eyes widened when he saw a pair of very long hairy legs hanging off the edge of couch and a pair of beautiful gold wings*

Lucifer: You are so beautiful, soon all of your memories will return.

*Adaline’s eyes slowly opened and they looked like molten gold, his outfit was barely covering his body now, he also felt so big now*

Adaline: I want to see myself.

*Lucifer helped him up and he now towered over Steve who wasn’t a short man at six feet, he had to at least be six and half feet tall, he took some unsure steps towards a full length mirror*

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

Reincarnation AU

*Lucifer was surprised when Sera called him to Heaven’s Embassy, Adam was usually the one he had meetings with, but for twenty years Adam hadn’t been seen at the meetings and Lute was leading the Exorcists*

Lucifer: Is there something you needed?

Sera: Adam went missing twenty years ago and I found out why.

Lucifer: Why?

Sera: He chose to be reincarnated as a human. I need you to make contact with Adam so he can regain his memories.

Lucifer: Why do you need me?

Sera: You had the closest bond with Adam, I think if he sees you again he will start to turn back into Adam.

Lucifer: That actually makes sense, do you have any idea who Adam became.

*Sera handed Lucifer a picture of a brother and a sister, the brother was named Steve and the sister was named Adaline, on Earth Adaline was opening the flower shop she worked at while listening to rock music on her AirPods, she smiled as she got a text from her twin brother Steve, it was their birthday and that night they were going to hang out together and get dinner, Adaline was a beautiful woman with chocolate brown hair and honey brown eyes, her brother looked like a masculine version of her, she started to set everything up thinking of her dream of a man with piercing blue eyes and blonde hair telling her that he loved her, she wished she could see this man and she wanted him to be real, what she didn’t realize was that the man of her dreams was going to talk to her twin brother at this moment*

Lucifer dawned his human disguise and walked up to the Steve guy and as he was talking to him, he didn't talk a lot like Adam.

Didn't dress like him, didn't seem to like the same music.

Sera had said that Adam should like all the same things in his new life as he did in his only one.

Steve: Sorry man, I gotta get this fertilizer to my sister's shop before she has a cow. You can come if you want.

Lucifer: Sure let me give you a hand.

He helped Steve bring things in and when he turned around to face the sister behind the counter. It was like time stopped.

Adaline looked like a female version of Adam, he couldn't tell in the picture but her eyes......

Adaline looked over and inhaled sharply when she saw the handsome man.

Adaline cleared her throat, a dusting of pink gracing her cheeks as she walked over to him.

Adaline: Hi, is there anything I can help you with sir?

Her heart was racing, he was so handsome and looked just like her dream man walked out of her mind onto the street.

[hoopearringsunlikemine]

VIV SAID THAT HE (CANNON) HATES SEEING LUTE CRY.

he smiled….to try to make her stop crying.

That smile he gives her before he dies…

HE LOVED HER DO Y’ALL UNDERSTAND?? THEY LOVED EACH OTHER 😭😭

[cardboardboxfly]

NO

DO NOT MAKE ME LIKE ADAM

That smile he gives her before he dies…

HE LOVED HER DO Y’ALL UNDERSTAND?? THEY LOVED EACH OTHER 😭😭