#rinse off the gunk

[shabbyshoebox]

*Me, frantically typing*: "How to uninstall Bronchitis.exe"

[bunnyboy-juice]

ngl. every time i see someone talk about a fairly standard/innocuous bong or pipe that isnt that structurally complex and they talk about the way it would be "impossible" to keep it clean my concern for the ways y'all treat your glass (and therefore your lungs) rises by 10 notches........

[skyward-floored]

Hmmm what shall I attempt to use to brush my teeth tonight

[illogicalghost]

i hate feeling greasy but for some reason getting in the shower is sooo hard sometimes. like its so much work just to get clean. i want to just snap my fingers and have it be over with

[olessan]

My dead tooth broke off today 🙃

[the-njnb]

Taking my brain out and giving it a good scrub wouldn’t fix all my problems but it would fix a lot of them

[phagodyke]

vent post pls ignore thank u 🙏

re last post like while it is frustrating how tired out i get sometimes, I genuinely like working and on weekdays I don't rly mind just exercising eating and going to bed. the pattern I'm starting to notice is that when I regularly attempt to be social, my mental health starts nosediving, even though I like spending time w friends... 90% of my issues are centred around emotional dysregulation (I do struggle with other things but have pretty solid coping mechanisms for most of them + also hopefully meds will help eventually) and socialising tends to exacerbate that pretty drastically bc I'm frankly very socially insecure/inept + have a lot of deep rooted issues concerning trust + intimacy which make me strongly avoidant so trying to form friendships deeper than surface level is unnecessarily complicated + painful for me to manage. but when I'm socially 'isolated' I do function pretty much fine, even if I miss it. like. I dunno. I don't think isolation is a good habit in the long run bc it'll degrade my social skills further + I don't want to spend my entire life never having truly meaningful relationships with anyone. but also I'm kind of at a loss as to how to balance it with my mental health bc the 'side effects' I get are drastic to the point of intolerable sometimes + no amount of therapy or cbt/dbt skills seem to be able to circumvent that. like don't get me wrong I love my friends a lot I just feel like I have all the wrong sockets and wires to connect to other people so every time I do they start spitting sparks and smoking.. and I feel like most other people pick up on that too and find it really difficult to be friends with me on their end. I just don't know man. I don't think I can deal with feeling like this forever I wish I didn't care so much about everything so it was fine and I could just be satisfied with what I have or I wish I was actually introverted so I wouldn't even rly have the need to socialise in the first place it's just so fucking HARD and I'm tired of fucking up all of the time I can't get it right ever and!!!!!!!

[homunculus-argument]

I have come to discover that the most efficient way for me to get housework done is to allow myself to just do task grazing. I start one thing and once I've got the ball rolling, I may notice another task I could do while doing the first task, and just let myself wander around the house, bumping into something I could fix, fixing it up, and heading back off to a random direction, like a roomba with hands. I didn't plan to do housework today, but I decided to bake a cake.

There was no real need for a cake, but I allowed myself to bake one nonetheless. Getting started on the batter, the butter I was melting in the microwave popped over slightly, so I neded up washing the microwave plate and dome. Looking for cinnamon, I re-arranged the spices into a slightly more logical order. Turning the oven on, I noticed that the dirty oven tray inside - that we had left in there to cool since there's no way to wash it while it's hot - was still there, so I figured I'd wash it, too.

So while the cake was in the oven, I ended up washing the dishes from the sink, and discovered that there's no way to fit the oven tray in there with them. So it's best to wash the oven tray in the shower. Scrubbing the tray in the bathroom and rinsing it off with the showerhead, I noticed the burnt gunk collecting on the floor. Getting a cleaning rag and wiping the gunk off, I noticed the dust in the corners of the bathroom floors, and figured I might as well wipe those through.

Had I sent out with the intention to spend today cleaning, and made it my task to clean the whole kitchen and to mop the bathroom floor, I would've never managed to actually get up and go do it. I would've spent the whole day frozen in place, beating myself up about not getting up and getting anything done, and wasting the entire day achieving nothing and still being exhausted by the ordeal of spending the whole day fighting myself.

But instead, I let myself bake a cake.

[luveline]

HII BABE can i request miguel x spidergirl!reader where reader shows miguel how to do her skin routine before bed in a shared apartment?

Miguel tongues at the inside of his cheek. “You can't be serious,” he says eventually. 

You smile at him, hope in your eyes. “It'll look cute. You'll love it.” 

Miguel considers what you're saying. You shift from one foot to the other, your fuzzy socks bumping his with every step. 

He scratches a little crystal of missed toothpaste from your bottom lip. You wait patiently, and it's that patience that melts the last of his reluctance. 

“Fine,” he says, dropping his arm back to his side. 

You beam and bring your hands up to his hair, raking it back from his face, a headband slipping down your wrist to hang in the crook of your elbow. “It's for your benefit, anyway, not mine,” you say, grabbing the headband to stretch carefully over the top of his head. He's impossibly tall, and even on tiptoes you struggle. He slouches imperceptibly to help you. “This is messy business.” 

“I've washed my face before.” 

“Not like this, babe.” 

You coerce the headband around his neck before pulling the front back up over his face to push his hair back. It's tight around his ears, and when he looks in the mirror, it is with an incredible amount of self disdain. 

“Good kitty,” you praise. 

Miguel adjusts the white cat ears to be central, relieving a little of the pressure from behind his own ears, but not enough. “Can we hurry this up?” 

You make sure your own face is clear and grin. “Let's do it.” 

You wet your faces with handfuls of hot water. Miguel's skincare routine consists of nothing more than showering and using a mild facial soap before bed; yours feels rather mammoth in comparison. First is an oil cleanse. You pour honey-coloured facial oil into his hands from a stout bottle, and he follows your lead without needing instruction, dedicating himself the skin surrounding his nose and between his brows  

“Wash it off with water,” you say, “I'm gonna do it a bit longer.” 

“Why?” 

“It's supposed to pull the gunk out of my pores.” 

“What about my pores?” he asks. 

You rub circles into your nose. “Who said I care about your pores?” 

Miguel doesn't bother rolling his eyes, bending to wash the oil from his face. Next is regular face wash, white suds gathering in your brows and under your nose as your elbows fight for room at the sink basin. You win (he lets you) (or that's what he likes to think), rinsing the soap off and patting your face dry with a small towel. 

The sink gurgles as he turns off the faucet, water running down the line of his neck and his arms to his elbows. You pat him dry. 

He likes that, the simple intimacy of being looked after unconsciously. You obviously don't think about drying his neck and hands for him, you just do it. 

“What next?” he asks quietly. Softly, some might suggest. 

“Come on,” you say, taking his hand. 

Miguel has seen you do it all many times now, but doing it with you is different. He lets you pull him into the bedroom, where you pick through bottles of serums and toners and tubs of pads to grab a red bottle. 

“Dragon blood?” he asks, eyeing the label of your face mist in distrust. 

“Not really. Close your eyes.” 

You spray your mist over his face, and he doesn't flinch, barely moves an inch, until you put a hand gently to his chest and crane your head up to kiss him while he's unsuspecting. 

He admits defeat. He loves you, he can't hide it much longer. “Is that everything, mi querida?” 

“That's not half of it.” You rub his tacky cheek adoringly. “Would you?” 

He takes the bottle of mist from your offered hand, waiting for you to close your eyes. When they're shuttered tight, he leans down to kiss you thrice in quick succession, lest you feel the curve of his smile on your lips and think he's having fun. 

[certifiedsexed]

I know you're not meant to clean inside the vagina, but what about the vulva? I'm always wondering if I'm supposed to be doing something specific for hygiene or if rinsing with a shower head is enough? Sometimes I'll use a no scent/dye gentle face wash and that doesn't seem to cause irritation, but I also get scared to do so too often because I'm not sure if I'm supposed to use any product. I also sometimes use a vulva wipe specifically before sex but mostly just because I'm scared of if I missed a teeny tiny piece of toilet paper or something, but don't use these regularly because it's really hard to find ones that don't have a fragrance and that makes me nervous! I know that there being a natural body odor is fine, I'm not self conscious about that, this generally from a perspective of wanting to be clean and healthy.

Unlike your vagina, your vulva isn't self-cleaning! But it actually sounds like you're following what you should do to a T.

You want to make sure there's no gunk or grime around your clitoris or around your vulva and to rinse it off. While a lot of people don't need to use soap, you definitely can as long as it's fragrance free, mild, and doesn't cause irritation [some people have allergies to certain soaps, so if it's mild, fragrance free and still causes irritation, you might just be allergic!].

A lot of people prefer to use soap and it's perfectly fine as long as you're using the right type and it doesn't bother you.

A lot of vulva wipes aren't good for you, specifically because of the fragrances actually! You've got good instincts, there. A lot of them are made as a "special menstrual/sex hygiene ^_^" product, almost all of which are a complete scam.

[Recently learned from another person on here about Lysol, the company that loves to make bleach products, leading the charge on douching as a menstrual/pre-sex hygiene product, as well as birth control! This trend is not recent.]

Fragrances are very bad for your vulva but if it doesn't have a fragrance, there's a possibility it's a good brand. I can't guarantee that though.

Hope this helps! I have some other related info in my #hygiene tag if you're interested, btw. Lemme know if you have any other questions! <3

[kokofromwattpad]

BUBBLE BATH TIME!!

Featuring: The overblot gang

Plot: During alchemy, you partnered yourself up with your lover, already knowing how much better they are than you in this type of stuff. By accident, a random student walking by your table knocked over the cauldron, spilling all of it's contents onto your lover. Suddenly, a large cloud of grey smoke erupted around them. Just as quick as the smoke appeared, it disappeared. On the wooden floor was a child version of your lover, sitting their with doe like eyes staring at you. Quickly, Crewel ordered you to take them back to your dorm as clean off any excess chemicals.

Cw: child! Overvlot gang x reader, fluff,

A/N: This came to me while I was in the middle of MY own bath. (it sucked by the way)

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS:

Riddle was busy occupying himself on the marble counter, sucking on his chubby little fingers like they were hard candy. You were squatting by the victorian styled bath while warm water flowed from the metal tap. Sighing as you stood up, you walked past little Riddle and opened the beige cupboard where you stored all of your towels and grabbed one at the top of the pile. You set the towel next to Riddle and went to trying to unbutton the child's clothing. You gently picked Riddle up as he grabbed onto your hair as a way to steady himself. You went down on one knee and started to slowly lower Riddle into the bathtub. Because Riddle had unintentionally let go of your hair, he started to panic. He started wiggling in your grasp, trying to get out so he could try and grab onto your hair again. You, however, being much stronger than him in this form, held him a bit farther away from you so that you could properly wash him. Slowly, you dragged the sponge that had already been squirted with body wash up and down Riddle's tiny frame. The red haired child held onto your arm for dear life, scared at what would happen if he would let go. After you rinsed all the excess soap of Riddle you pulled the stopper from the bath's drain and lifted Riddle out from the tub. Riddle whimpered at the cold air as you wrapped him up in the fluffiest towel you had. His chubby cheeks expanded when he brightly smiled at you.

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR:

Leona's tail shifted angrily in the air as you placed him on the bathroom ground. He started to angrily babble at your minor negligence as you filled the bathtub with warm water to give the small beastman a cleaning. Leona shifted onto his knees and started to crawl to your calf. He grabbed onto your pant leg and used it as leverage to hoist himself up on his chubby feet. Once the child gained his balance he started to babble madly, trying to regain your attention. Finally, after what Leona felt where years, you picked him up and placed him on the basin counter. You undressed the child from his clothes and neatly folded it on the side. You then went to pick Leona up walked over to the bath. Ever-so-slowly, you began to lower him into the filled bathtub. Now, Leona technically being a cat, he did not like this. He started flailing aggressively, trying to get out of your gentle grasp and escape, but you kept him in your hold and continued to lower him. Once his body entered the tub, he relaxed. He stopped squirming and just stared at his reflection as you cleaned all the gunk from his body and hair.

AZUL ASHENGROTTO:

Eight sticky tentacles spread out like a clock as Azul's big, round eyes stared curiously at you. The octo-mer sat in the overflowing sink, caused by your worry that he may dry up at any second. While you grabbed some towels from your room, Azul babbled loudly about who knows what. Entering the bathroom again, you set the towels on the closed toilet lid and stepped cautiously towards the child version of your boyfriend. You reach your arms out, going to grab him out of the sink, when suddenly, four of Azul's tentacles latch onto your arms. You try to pull the limbs off of you, but just makes Azul whine. Begrudgingly, you let the boy wrap all his tentacles on your arms. You streached your arms out as far away as you can from your face. Azul's eyes start to sparkle when he is placed into the bathtub full of water. He happily swims around the edge of the bath and does a few happy spins to show his appreciation towards you. Gently, you bring the damp cloth over to his human half and start to slowly wipe him down from the left over potion. The boy grabs onto his round stomach, indicating that he was getting hungry after the short time of his swimming session.

JAMIL VIPER:

Jamil had a calm and collected look, even as a child. Somehow, Kalim had caught word of what happened to his friend and had rushed over to make sure that he was okay. Kalim retells stories of his and Jamil's childhood while you prepare and extra set of clothes for the newly turned child. Kalim sighs and walks over to where Jamil was waiting for you and started to gently pinch and the boy's soft cheeks. He then squeals loudly, alerting you. You run over to the two Scarabia students, only to see Kalim squeezing Jamil's cheeks while the said boy looks at Kailm with the most pissed off look that he could give. You pull Kalim off Jamil, sit the vice-housewarden onto your hip and walk back to the bathroom, with the white haired boy tailing after you. The bathtub was filled with fluffy bubbles. Kalim rolled his sleeves up in preparation while you sat the young boy in the shallow water. When Kalim tried to bring a sponge to Jamil's body, the boy flung water right at the housewarden as a warning not to touch him. Kalim just started to laugh at the other boy's action and just ignored him as he guided the sponge all over Jamil's small body.

VIL SCHOENHEIT:

The younger Vil had started to whine while you were walking to Ramshakle as a sign for you to hurry the hell up since he was starting to smell. As soon as you entered the bathroom, Vil's whining had stopped immediately. You placed him on the counter top to prepare some towels for him. As you were doing that, Vil tried to get dressed by himself. However, because of his newly acquired chubby and inexperienced hands, in was quite a challenge to get his shirt off and he was starting to get pissed. Small, clear tears rose from the ends of his eyes and rolled gently down his chubby cheeks. When you finally got the best towels you had on hand, you noticed the soft sniffling coming from the little model. You rushed over to the boy, cooing praises of how difficult it must be because of his shrunken body. You wiped the tears away from his eyes and then gently unbuttoned his small white shirt. Vil was a very happy child after he got all the remnants of the catastrophe off his body.

IDIA SHROUD:

Idia was quite a sensitive child. He always looked like he was about to cry at any second and that just made your heart twist a little. You held him extremely close to your chest as ran all the way to Ramshackle, as to make sure that nobody saw your boyfriend-turned-child. You blew out a breath you didn't now you were holding in when you finally entered the safety of your dorm. Idia was clutching extremely tight onto your school shirt as he hid his face into your chest. While walking up the stairs, you wonder if Idia's hair would go out if it was put under water. You however found out that it, in fact, not go out. Idia looked like he was close to balling his eyes out every time you walked away from the tub to fetch something. But when Grim finally walked into the bathroom, the little boy smiled a bright toothy grin while reaching his arms out as if he was reaching for a trophy. When Grim finally left you and the baby alone, Idia started crying crocodile tears and wailing out, "Kitty! Kitty!"

MALLEUS DRACONIA:

While you and the now smaller version of your boyfriend were still in the classroom, someone had ran out to call Malleus's guards and Lilia. The former general was laughing hysterically at the situation you were thrown in, Silver was rocking the slime covered baby and Sebek was screaming loudly at you, saying how its your fault that his young master was turned into a baby and how his reputation is going to ruined because of you. Malleus was starting to tear up from Sebek's harsh words. Lilia noticed this and tried to console the little boy, but that just made Malleus whine loudly. When Sebek had finally finished his screaming session, he turned to Malleus and picked him up as to give him a proper scrubbing, when the prince turned his head angrily away from the half-fae. Sebek's face fell from it's prideful expression and silently moved away from the baby. When Malleus turned his head back in your direction, he pulled his arms in front of him and started making grabby hands towards you. You obliged and held the sticky baby in your arms as he giggled loudly at your action. And so, with the supervision of Lilia, you washed the prince all teh way from his horns to his chubby toes.

-------------------------------------------------------

[nectardaddy]

mood

feeling like my brain has expired? like i need a lobotomy where they take out my brain and give me a new one because i need new neurons and experiences like my current brain ain't doing it

[rambunctioustoons]

✨domestic au but sun and moon won't stop killing your house plants caring for your houseplants🪴🔪❤️

full disclosure this is inspired by shenanigans from the @//daycarefriendpickup server !

contains; crack treated half serious, plant murder, domestic fluff, sun knowing better than you how to care for plants, no justice for plants at all.

[ sun-centric, no gender/pronouns for reader, 1,200]

Domestic squabbles are a given in this lifetime. Can't co-exsist with anyone without some minor irritation.

It's a guarantee really.

But Sun never draws the curtains in the morning if you're still groggy. Moon never keeps the tv at night a decimal above what could stir you awake.

You make it your honest mission to always keep your clothes in the laundry bin the one time you catch Eclipse red handed tidying up the space.

Difficult to complain when your newly founded housemates did mostly all they could to be agreeable. Much like you did in return.

As cliche and sappy as that sounded, you loved them so much.

But the plants.

The plants.

Your beloved houseplants faced the wrath of miscommunication and you just can't fathom how it's plant care that keeps causing arguments.

The first day it happens. You're awoken to early daylight, and the scent of watered down bleach. Staring out into the hallway, gaze transfixed on the spray bottle in Sun's hand, like the handle of a dagger in a slasher flick.

Because that is the household cleaning solution he's wielding.

"Darling! Good morning! You're up early early today. Lemme finish up and I'll go make us coffee!"

Spritzing the chemical all over your beloved Fiddle-Fig Leaf plant!

"What are you doing..?!" You squawk, swatting the bottle straight out of his hands. The element of surprise in your favour here, bottle tumbling to the floor out of harm's way.

Tempted to kick it out of his reach.

"Fiddle-Fig was dusty, feel it! Look at it! The poor thing was collecting cobwebs! No need to fret now, I know all about plant care! Used to water and clean all the plants in the Daycare y'know! Silly, wasn't gonna wake you up just to-"

"Those were plastic plants!!" You shrill. Immediately connecting the dots. Regretting the decision to let frazzled nerves sway your temper.

Sun curling in on himself like a poor kicked puppy.

"I-I'm..-! I'm sorry just-... You can't water or clean plants with bleach Sun. You have to be gentle," Giving his arm a sympathetic squeeze, dipping into the bathroom to run the bath.

It's all you could think. Carefully rinse off the chemicals quicker and keep the pot out of the stream. Gently dab away the viscera from the leaves. More at ease with this taped together emergency plan.

"They're alive, they're not plastic."

But when you turn back around.

Sun is trying again.

To spritz the plants. Again!!

"Dude! Knock it off! Drop it!! Drop it-.. Drop it drop it-!"

To his credit he drops it.

Dull sloshy clank to the floor. Catching the way his posture ever so slightly shakes. Staring him down, metaphorically hearing the annoyance rattling in his casting. Gunking up his gears.

You've literally never been this frustrated in your entire life. Snatching the Fiddle-Fig off the hallway table.

"... I know," He starts, sharp and wobbly all in the same faux breath. "How to take care. Of our plants."

"Just keep your mits off Fig!" Poking his chest, showing you mean business. "We'll get plastic plants you can play with later. Take care of those to your heart's content."

Failing to shut the door in time before Sun pipes up again. Song-songing in a condecending lamet as he follows your eye line straight on until the door fully closes.

"I think you're ovveeerr-reactinggg!!"

You shut the door twice.

Beloved, Fiddle-Fig stood no chance against caretaking protocols that stubbornly stayed stuck on the wrong dial-tone.

Because this morning you'd been greeted with an even more troubling site.

The dirt is gone.

Out of the pot. Straight up missing.

How meticulous a task to gently remove each little root from the soil and leave it starving. Catching him rounding the corner with gardening gloves (and how in the world he'd even found gloves to fit his hands for one).

"Eugh, saving Fig from all that disgusting dirt was no easy task," He beams. "Not to mention the bath it needed to get all cleaned up! But look, look it looks much happier. I'm sure whatever you were doing was great too!"

Feeling what little patience you had dwindling. Your eye twitches.

"Liiiike I told you! I took care of plants all the time! No more of that pesky dirt!" Tapping a finger to your nose. An equally affectionate and condescending boop to your nose.

"Taking it out of the dirt is killing it." Glancing over the still intact roots. "You're literally killing it."

"We have the internet y'know! Duh. You're supposed to wipe down these kinds of plants once a month! It doesn't look like you were doing that at all. So dusty, blegh!”

Are you going crazy? For real. You feel like you're going crazy.

“Good thing I'm here! To help you out and help out our beloved plants! Don't have to worry about all that pesky tidying with me around!”

Gripping his shirt, shaking the fabric in place of shaking him.

"Not with bleach!! With water!! With water Angel! Where did you even read anything about removing the dirt?!"

"The bleach was diluted with water! Don't get yourself in such a twist!" Literally cupping your hand and making you twirl. Stumbling on the hardwood to catch yourself.

"Where did you read about removing the dirt! Give me your source, give me the name of the article writer I'm going to find their address and stuff live beetles in their vents!"

"Oh!" Distress finally clicking. Maybe. Clicking a little. He cups your face, soothing his thumbs along your cheeks.

"... Goodness. Does our Fiddle-Fig really need... Dirt that much? I mean, I just don't think that's true. But if you're thiiis upset.. hmmm."

"All the plants in this house need dirt. And water, not cleaning solutions!”

"... Fine." He warblers a sigh. Glaring down at the plant. "This one can have dirt."

Tempted to ask him if he's heard literally anything you've said.

———

Glitter, and acrylic paint are what come next.

Dropping the plate in your hands, scattering linguine pasta all over the living room floor.

Literally out of the room for fifteen minutes and he's made a craft project out of the plants suffering. It's screaming tirelessly to a void that no one can hear.

You're very glad you're not a plant. Actually.

Sun sets his paintbrush on the tiny plastic pallet, rushing to you after collecting supplies to clean up the mess of ceramics and sauce.

“The orange didn't come out quite right! Don't you just hate that? Mixing colours and noo matter how much yellow you mix in, it's just not orange enough!”

Fig is ruined. Fig is not going to continue thriving in this household like this.

Urgency to hide it in your jacket and run off into the woods.

“I know I can do better, but sure am glad you love it so much! Rendering you all speechless!” He chitters, like he's proud of this.

Leaning down to wordlessly clean up the rest of pasta wreckage. Sun rambles about his other plans for Fig. If he couldn't clean it properly, he could at least decorate it correctly!

Plants being all one colour is an eye sore.

You could tell him most plants are one colour. Most plants are green. Question his sanity if he too has a distaste for the green grass outside the window. The brittle bark of brown tree trucks even.

“Please don't ever do this again, plants can't handle being tampered with like this.”

“Decorating isn't tampering.”

At least this phase hasn't reached Moon yet you suppose.

... Yet.

[mustymausoleum]

do you ever feel the need to take ur brain out and give it a rinse to get all the bad vibes and sad gunk off bc same

[mamayan]

“…The fuck is that…”

It smelled like iron and rain tonight, the floor of the bar wet and muddy from footprints tracked in carelessly. The wood was already old and rotting, and it was wonder a hole hadn’t been broken into the mildewed boards.

“It’s a dog.”

He sneered, face turning fully where his eyes bore into you, completely away from his switch to level you with the nastiest face he could pull.

“I know what a fucking dog is, asshole. I’m asking why the fuck it’s in here—?”

“Watch your crusty mouth, boss, I wasn’t going to just leave it to die out in the storm. Some piece of shit left this poor little guy in a box by the dumpster.” He wanted to vomit at the almost motherly look on your face, staring at the filthy shaking wet puppy you held with your jacket bundled around it.

“Find somewhere else to put it, it’s not staying here.” He turned away dismissively despite his eyes still staying glued to the bundle in your arms.

“Yeah, yeah, can he just stay here for the night? Even I don’t got a place to sleep besides the streets, but he might get sick if he’s stays in the cold any longer.”

He grit his teeth in agitation.

“If it pisses in here I’m dusting it.”

He left it at that, even going as far as to get up and leave the bar. You were left alone after that, the League out for now due to the horrendous monsoons sweeping the city tonight. You weren’t fortunate enough to have a place to crash though, but you did debate just breaking into an abandoned house or something. The bar was closer though, and the little guy needed a warm bath and some food, which you couldn’t provide in a place without running water.

You washed the small puppy in the sink, soft brown fur spiked up cutely as you scrubbed away all the gunk and sadness covering the flea bitten thing. You carefully dug out each one, ridding him of all the awful vermin before giving him one more lather and rinse for good measure. Then you dried him, a stolen hair dryer kept on low and held far away, a soft dish rag you’d scrounged up used to pet and sooth while he shook.

“I know the boss scared you a bit, but he’s not gonna hurt you,” you cooed, holding the pup as you found a can of tuna and decided it would have to do as puppy chow for the evening. The little dog seemed to have enough teeth, and you made sure to stir it up some after opening the can.

He fell face first into the can eating. Hind legs even going up into the air as he balanced on his front paws eating. When his belly looked sufficiently round, you pulled the pup off and gave him a little water. He looked like a new dog honestly, much fluffier and more adorable like this.

“You need a name…” you hummed, picking the pup up and deciding to bother the boss a little. He didn’t seem happy about the dog, but you noticed he kept looking at it with some sort of longing. Did he want to pet it? You weren’t sure as you moved through the hide out, seeing Shigaraki’s room at the end of the hall. His door was tightly closed but decorum hardly mattered with thugs and villains like you. You kicked the door open, smiling at the near vampiric way your boss seemed to live in the artificially blue illuminated space. His pale skin looking almost gray in the lighting.

“Gross. Your room is fuckin’ nasty boss.” Your comment is met with a vicious glare, his lips pulled almost into a snarl as he eyes you with disdain, but his gaze wavers a bit on the fluff in your arms.

“Why’s it all squirmy?” He scowls, leaning back a bit in his gamer chair, clearly knowing you’re too annoying to scare off.

“He needs a name. Help me?”

“No. Fuck off.”

“Come on boss! He can be our mascot!”

“No way in hell. I’ll dust it if you try.”

“Woof!” You both looked down at the happy and merry little pup wiggling to get down in excitement. You smiled mischievously, eyes narrowing in a way that made him nervous.

“Don’t you dare—!” He grunts in surprise as you release the hound, the happy pup immediately scampering towards Shigaraki with a wiggly butt swinging so hard it caught up with its little tail. It’s quick to scratch at his jeans, big eyes staring up at him with so much cuteness he swears under his breath.

“Get. The. Damn. Dog. Off. Me—!” He’s seething through his teeth, furious for the interruption and the little fur ball’s audacity.

“Mhm, Dog as a name is a little unoriginal don’t you think boss?” He’s going to kill you. Dust your ass and this dog too!

“Woof!” He flinches back, hands instinctively raising high to prevent the nippy little thing from accidentally touching them as it jumped for attention.

“He loves you though!” You coo, pulling your phone out even and snapping pictures.

“If you don’t—,”

“Here, let me help,” you sooth, and just when he thinks you’re going to be sensible and remove the mutt, instead you pick it up and place it in his lap.

“…!” He’s only able to inhale sharply, face stunned and incredulous as the pup licks and kisses at him with all the affection of a loyalist.

His eyes go up for help again, but you’re gone. Having even slipped out and closed his door without him noticing.

His quirk canceling gloves are in place, so he knows he can just pick it up and set it off him, but for several minutes Shigaraki does nothing but allow the tiny monster to kiss and nibble at him for attention until it grows tired and settles down in his lap for a nap.

Wide garnet eyes stare down at the dog you’d left in his lap carelessly. Tiny and absolutely no threat to anyone. Mascot you wanted it to be, but if they had even the smallest attack it would be injured and killed. His nails dug into the skin of his neck, furiously scratching as his mind blanks.

He only stops when a little lick catches him off guard.

Dark brown eyes stare up at him, innocent and feeble with a long snout and wet nose twitching. It licked his hand.

He’s not thinking when he uses to fingers to pet the dog’s soft little head. It lets him, mouth opening to reveal a long pink tongue and it pants in happiness for the attention.

“Should name you idiot or something, dumb dog.” He huffs, but he doesn’t stop the pets. Even scratching lightly behind the ear as the pup leans into it with a shake of it’s leg. “You get off on strangers touching you or something? Freak.” His insults roll off seamlessly, the pup still happily lolling it’s tongue and rolling in his lap.

Seconds turn to minutes as he relaxes, petting the sweet little animal happily curled in his lap and sleeping.

You find your boss and the pup hours later, both passed out in his gaming chair, one hand laid over it’s back gently.

You take the pup, leaving to put it in the little cage you managed to find and the blankets you cut up to place in with it. The pup wasn’t happy but you hushed it with a few treats and left after putting a blanket on top of the cage to help it sleep.

When you went back to check on the boss, he was awake, elbows leaned on his knees as he looks up at you under his bangs.

“It’s name is Ryo and it will stay in Doc’s care. Not here. Am I clear?”

You smile, almost too sweetly it makes his chest feel like ants are crawling through it, as you nod wordlessly. He hates the smug appearance you wear but only snorts and kicks you out of his room, this time locking his door.

Dividers/@cafekitsune

[mordenheim]

Vitamin D For Growth

Just a fun little growth-filled tale for the wonderful @goattrain Author Icon by the lovely https://www.furaffinity.net/user/redband.jackalope

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Alice grumbled, staring at herself in the bathroom mirror. The poor goat was covered in bright green goop from horn to hoof. Wincing, she pulled off her shirt as she felt the gunk soaked into her shirt sucking at her skin and tugging at her fur.

“Never thought I would have to wear a hazmat suit into the company greenhouse.” She grumped out loud as she finished peeling off her clothing. Apparently they had been testing some sort of plant food int the sprinkler system designed to magnify the plants' photosynthesis. However instead of coming out as a fine mist it blasted out right on top of poor Alice as a thick green slime.

Tugging off the last of her clothing and tossing it straight into the trash, she stomped off to the walk in shower. Her little hooves clopped cutely on the tiles. Throwing open the glass door she stepped inside and closed it behind her.

Reaching for the faucet handle, the one thing to go right today was that the new water heater was working perfectly. There was no waiting for warm water as her fur was doused by a warm, steamy blast. She turned slowly in the downpour for a few moments, rubbing her three-fingered hands over herself, relieved when the gloop seemed to be water soluble. She looked down at her hooves to see it gurgle and slurp away down the drain.

Rubbing the water out of her eyes, she reaches out a grabbed her bottle of deep cleaning shampoo that was ironically also a dark green color. She popped open the lid and took a sniff, enjoying the scent of tea tree oil and cucumber. Squeezing a hefty dollop into her hand, she started scrubbing it through her fur, working up a nice, thick lather.

She let out a soft baa as she was enveloped and warmth and scrubbing the thick, wonderful smelling soap through her fur, scrubbing every last inch of herself until she felt the fur squeak through her hoof tipped fingers as it rinsed clean. She could barely see anything through the thick cloud of steam that followed her dripping form as she stepped out of the shower.

Drying her soft fur on a towel that covered up most of her body, she made her way back over to the mirror. Not paying too much attention at first, she reached out to wipe away the condensation, then gave out a bleat of dismay.

“Wha.. wait.. WHAT?! I'M GREEN!!!” She practically shrieked, looking down at herself. Her fur was indeed a pale mint green and her hooves were a much darker shade. Looking back into the mirror she could see that her little horns were the same shade of deep green and even her normally pink eyes had taken on an emerald hue.

“Al! When I get my hands on you I'm gonna… I'm… ah, forget it… I'm tired…”

Not even bothering to wrap the towel around herself, she dragged it dejectedly down the hall to her bedroom. She tossed checked to make sure that there were no green stains on the white terry cloth and tossed it into the hamper. She took a moment to slip on some comfy flannel pajamas, buttoning the shirt up the front before just flopping onto the bed on top of the sheets. She'd overheated a little in the shower and needed to cool down. Before she knew what was happening, she drifted off to sleep.

Morning came, the sun rose, and the birds began to sing in the branches outside of Alice's home. A beam of sunlight fell in through the open curtains of the window beside the cute goat's bed, landing on the back of one of her hands.

The fingers splayed out flat as though trying to soak up as much of the sun as they could. The fur thickened a little, looking shaggy before her hand grew. Her fingers lengthened and thickened and the palm expanded. Her forearm stretched out of the cuff of her shirt before the arm within it inflated a little. The growth spread up her shoulder and through her body. Her breasts blossomed and ballooned out a little causing gaps to form between the buttons of her top as it stretched up, pulled away from her bottoms and exposing her soft belly fur.

It spread to the other arm and up to her head, her horns scraping against the headboard before spreading downwards. Her rump widened a little, straining the durable flannel cloth a bit. Her thighs bulged outwards a bit as her growing hooves stretched away from her cuffs.

The sun continued to rise, pouring more of its light into the room, bathing her in its warm, inviting glow. She gasps, squirming in her sleep, smiling as she feels a warm, comforting energy flowing through her, settling into the pit of her stomach. It was like she had just eaten a bowl of the most wonderful, comforting soup you could imagine.

The growth was more powerful now, more evenly spread throughout her body as she stretched and swelled. Buttons snapped off and were scattered across the bed as her breasts burst forth. Her thighs shredded through the tough cloth, as did her rump. Her fur thickened and took on a lovely shine. The more of her body that was exposed to the sun's rays, the more it seemed to speed up.

It was the crash and the sudden drop to the floor that finally awoke her. She looked around the room, finding that her bed had broken underneath her giant form. Not the first time she had experienced this, she took it in stride and pushed herself up off of the floor. Her horns immediately stuck up into the ceiling. She sighed and prepared to duck out of the room when she felt her horns push upwards, deeper into the plaster of the ceiling. She hadn't just grown, she was growing, and fast!

Gripping the tattered rags of her clothing about her as best she could, she rushed through the house towards the front door. Every window she passed she wanted to slow down for a moment as the wonderful sensation she felt in her sleep returned, but she didn't know how fast she might be growing and didn't want to ruin another house! Each doorway she passed through she felt like she needed to duck down a little more until she finally reached the door to the back yard.

She threw open the door and was bathed in bright sunlight. She gave a soft bleat as the last strands of her pajamas burst and fell away and she was forced onto all fours by the ceiling! Crawling as fast as she could, she squeezed her upper body through the door, barely. She shifted onto her side as her hips wedged in the opening, swelling rapidly as she placed her expanding hands on the outside walls and hauled herself out with an audible CRACK! She shivered and whined a little as she felt her hooves sliding farther back INTO the house as her legs stretched and grew. Crawling rapidly, she pulled herself free of the house and stood up in the morning sun.

She felt herself filled with that wonderful energy again as her fur fluffed out even fuller. She wanted to stop growing, but it felt so good at the same time. She was so conflicted as she slowly backed away from the shrinking house. There was a loud crunch as her deep green hoof came down on the wooden fence at the back of the yard.

“Why is this happening?!”

She suddenly froze. The warmth of the sun replaced by a cold chill as she watched the world around her shrink. The goop that she had been doused with, that turned her green was supposed to increase the photosynthesis of plants. Meanwhile she was stuck outside on a gloriously sunny day. Taking a deep breath, she opened her giant maw to bleat:

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!”