#riddle: and why do i have to play the damsel in distress??? >:/

[merakiui]

MERAAAA wouldn't it be funnier if the Jade falling for an otaku (with their fictional oshi) is tmdg Jade? Orz if he could play Floyd he could cosplay your oshi! (Never a W for Jade lol)

T_T always an L and never a W for tmdg!Jade. If you tell him to cosplay one of these two fine men here, he's already losing to the competition and the competition is pixels. OTL

But maybe it's not impossible! Since you like the butler type characters, he may already have a solid chance at earning your favor because he, too, is a butler type. <3

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hello there~! I dunno what happen, but I'm in a mood for some angsty stuff, so here we go.

Imagine if the Farmer and the SVE Adventurer were surrounded by monsters / ruffians / etc. Suddenly, a surprise attack aimed towards the SVE Adventurer. But, instead stricken by it, the Farmer shielded them. Now as the Farmer laid injured (probably even unconscious), what would they do? How would they react?

Thank you for giving me your time reading my question! ^^

Hey hey 👋

Sure thing! 😊 And have a good day! 💕

_________________________________________

Isaac:

Depending on the situation itself and what kind of enemies have surrounded the two of them, Isaac's actions and reaction will be different. If Farmer is lightly wounded and the two of them are surrounded by simple milksuckers and weaklings (some young and stupid adventurers), Isaac will quickly break their noses and look at Farmer over his shoulder.

"Tsk..." Scratched, so what? They're an adventurer, so stop whining, Farmer. Ugh, so annoying... "Next time, don't play brave if you can't even stand up for yourself. I didn't ask for your help."

In a situation where the opponents are dangerous monsters in Crimson Badlands, Isaac immediately takes an olfactory stance, protecting the unconscious Farmer.

"Idiot! Found a time to make a hero out of yourself! Get up, you hear me!? Get up!"

The scarred adventurer is angry at Farmer, who has put themself and Isaac in a dangerous situation. Once both are safe and the Farmer comes to their senses, Isaac pours out not-the-most-flattering words on their head, calling them a stupid fool. Behind those words, however, was just as much Isaac's concern for them and their wellbeing. But Farmer doesn't need to know that.

Lance:

Lance, of course, thanked the Farmer that they had shown such a willingness to protect him from a bunch of bullies, but Lance himself is no damsel in distress. After all, the gallant adventurer is a second-of-command of The First Slash Clan, and is accordingly a very skilled warrior not only of the sword, but also of magic. Therefore, the bunch of hooligans didn't stand a chance either. Lance have no time to find out why they decided to harass him and Farmer, as the losers cowardly ran away. Well be it, the important thing now was to see if Farmer was alright.

"Thank you for your help, my friend, but I must assure you that I could have handled it myself. I wouldn't want you to suffer because of people who had a problem with me personally."

However, when the battle with the monsters became so dangerous that even Lance found it hard to retreat (what to speak of defeating the monsters), here he was not so confident in his abilities anymore. Farmer who had protected him from the sudden blow from behind, was a shock to him, but Lance quickly recovered and teleported himself and Farmer out of the battle. Thankfully their wound wasn't fatal, but the pink-haired man was riddled with worry.

"I'm glad you're ok, my dear friend. But let's not do it again, agreed?". He certainly doesn't want his friends dying for him, especially if the situation is Lance's own fault. Please don't do this again, Farmer.

Alesia:

"Bravery and courage are the traits of a true adventurer, but you shouldn't get into a fight if you can't even stand up for yourself, let alone someone else." Alesia cares for her young charges, and she certainly had a few young warriors that were always getting into fights for their mates, but didn't know how to fight at all. How can you save a drowning man when you can't swim yourself? So the sniper took the responsibility to teach the youngsters how to fight, but also to remind them that they should not get into any fight if the dispute can be solved peacefully. That's what she wants to teach the Farmer as well, even if they aren't officially her student. Still, she is grateful for the bravery they have shown.

When Farmer will protect her again, but already on the battlefield with shadow people, the girl will not be so restrained in her emotions. She... had lost many comrades, and Farmer, the young adventurer she had grown attached to as well, could become another victim. The situation could have become very nasty, but luckily everything was handled. And after making sure that nothing threatened their lives, Alesia would scold them so badly that Farmer would still be sitting red as a tomato for a long time.

"What in the Yoba's were you thinking! Didn't I tell you that earlier?"

Farmer will have nothing to answer here, and Alesia will then think about the possibility of taking Farmer under unofficial tutoring. Or convincing Marlon to teach Farmer so they think rationally and don't throw themselves under the monster's claws the first chance they get.

[tonydaddingham]

am i missing something in kinda comparing the entire maggie and nina situation to paris? 'cause there was no need to get them to fall in love. a&c might not be able to make people actually feel it, but they seem to have mind control down pat without much effort (or any moral quandaries). they could have waited for an angel to show up and just faked it- easy, certain way out. it's not like the idea of working together like that is even weird, not after the gabriel miracle.

so. either they missed it, which is plausible, and uhhh, renders this whole ask pointless, or *would* have moral issues with it (also plausible💀), or they're being completely ridiculous again, and would rather plan balls than actually make an effort to get themselves out of Mortal Fucking Peril (not that aziraphale necessarily knows it is). i think it would fit the pattern, honestly- when not having huge blowouts over *problems of their own making* (hey aziraphale kill this kid it'll be fine, aziraphale why won't you ditch earth with me, crowley why won't you come to heaven with me), the ineffables always seem to be constantly, aggressively orbiting eachother, making heart eyes and goofing off (cough end of the resurrectionists "not kind" cough) with 0 regard for safety except for the (very very sadly i can't find the -ennial word for every other century) occasional heart attack, and then just skipping right back down the aisle.

(hope this is coherent, i've been editing things a little too long to tell)

hello @aq-uatic my darling!!!💕

(bby im so sorry!!! i thought i had posted this ages ago and i went rooting around in the drafts to continue something else and realised i hadn't!!! im an idiot sorry!!!)

i think there is some context behind aziraphale's actions in particular with this scene:

we know that aziraphale has a fondness for maggie, that i'd argue goes slightly beyond the fondness he has for humans in general (and even then that's questionable at times), and he seems genuinely put out that he's not in a position to help her - to wiggle his fingers about, and make it happen for her (horrifying implications, aziraphale, but we move). so, whilst aziraphale obviously is prompted into the whole 'lets-make-these-two-humans-fall-in-love-bc-that's-totally-normal-and-okay' by holding the everyday record back in the bookshop, i think there is an element of aziraphale genuinely wanting to help her, and coming up with the ball is his interpretation of an organic way to do that (💀). but it doesn't justify the whole thing one little bit; despite the possibility of that being his intention, it's completely batshit - nina certainly didnt know, let alone consent, to anything, and maggie didn't either; they're not dolls for either of them to play around with.

essentially though, i agree - any logical, coherent, sensible thinking would have probably just helped them arrive at a solution that didn't involve warping reality and bringing a whole room of people under a horrifying amount of hypnosis. but you have two supernatural creatures who, in a fairly major way by the time of 2023 at least, have their sense of existing amongst humanity influenced by not only the clandestine, dramatic nature of their own story, but by their tendencies towards damsel-but-not-wholly-in-distress-ing and anti-hero-at-best-ing respectively. we have to barely scratch the surface to see the intertextuality between these traits of theirs, and where they might stem from stories told in certain books and movies (emma by jane austen, and james bond spring to mind).

they constantly talk in riddles to each other, in code and in double meanings - they may somewhat understand the general sense of what the other is saying, but it's not categorical and leaves too much room for error or misinterpretation (which, ultimately, it does). it's a constant dance circling each other, ebbing and flowing, pulling in and drawing back, but never coming together properly; it's a quadrille vs. a waltz.

it makes sense that they are so used to finding the most roundabout and convoluted ways to do things, and this continues into s2, because not only is it how it tends to go down in fiction, but also because that's literally how they've had to exist - not only so their closeness isn't detected, or so their true natures aren't suspected by their respective head offices, but also by nature of being literal supernatural creatures living amongst humans - sleeper agents, of a kind - and constantly having to exist without detection.

none of this makes it right, of course not - but i actually don't think they see any other way of going about things. they're so good at it, so well practiced, that (as just two examples) they run verbal rings around gabriel/metatron (book) and beelzebub chattering about the great vs. ineffable plans at the airfield, and they dance around the most straightforward solution to the maggie/nina problem. as for themselves and their relationship, they dont speak plainly to each other until the bandstand or final fifteen... and even then, i feel like its aziraphale that is maybe the first to break and speak plainly? idk:

i think it's clear that crowley is the more scared, and therefore the more cautious, in this regard. for all his objections attempting to distance himself as an angel compared to crowley's being a demon, aziraphale feels to me that he is the more inclined to throw caution to the wind. i think its because crowley understands the danger in blowing their cover a little more than aziraphale does - aziraphale on multiple occasions slips in nearly admitting their closeness (1800, end of 1827 as you pointed out, and when meeting with the archangels in heaven in s1) - and is still stuck in the safety that dancing around what should be plainly said affords them. they both - as you wonderfully put it - aggressively orbit each other, and breaking the holding pattern comes a little too late.

so no, i think your drawing the parallel between the Weird-Ass dynamic in 1793, how they handle the maggie/nina storyline, and then how they behave with each other, is very apt! but its, at this time, arguably all that they've known - acting in this way - and breaking the cycle is starting to happen, but won't pay its dividends until s3✨

[bunny-hare]

Silly Game Time: Who are some of your favorite magician characters? And what do you like about them?

They can be of any class or variety of magic-user (wizard, witch, sorcerer, warlock, healer, druid, etc.), of any race or species, so long as using magic is *primarily* their thing in the story. Not just something they do occasionally, but something that is a major element of their role and their identity.

OOOOOOH BOY-! THIS WILL BE LONG! (And possibly involve a lot of Final Fantasy).

First of all, possibly the best example-

VIVI! From Final Fantasy IX! He's just a little guy and I love him for it! Condemned to die young (as he's made basically from pure magic) but determined to live his best life! Vivi is nothing but a sweetie that always sees the best on everyone and everything, he must be protected at all costs. On that last note: his sibling relationship with the protagonist, Zidane, is DIVINE! I really have a soft spot for these.

Cereza/Bayonetta: She's such a fabulous Girlboss. She went through so much trials to be the person she is (or at least is during 1-2, since 3 is a different Bayo as far I'm concerned but- uhhhh I won't get in that can of worms since I haven't played 3 yet) and I honestly love her for going from timid, meek, helpless little girl to the most powerful Umbra Witch. She had good genes ofc, but all that would go to nothing if it hadn't been for her hard work.

Quina (again, from Final Fantasy IX): They're no thoughts, head empty, eating only... which is how they gain spells, so... are they hungry for food? Are they hungry for knowledge? Maybe both? We shall never know as Quina is a riddle and I love them for that, their frog hyperfixation, and their love language being giving food 👏 such a mood.

Soren from Fire Emblem: he's a prince, he's the dragon protecting the tower, he's a damsel on distress, he's an orphan, he's actually not an orphan, he's definitely gay yet pseudo-flirts with the merchant girl to get these sweet discounts and gets away with it bcs home girl likes being flattered, what is there to not love Soren? He has always been of my best units in my every Radiant saga playthrough, I'll forever remember when he killed a buffed up golden tank unit with a staff. Much like Bayonetta, I love how Soren grew from a miserable little lost kid barely surviving on the streets to the master mage/tactician that he's now, he fought hard to have his happy ending at the side of the man that gave him a will to live and he's such a Girlboss for it too.

The Wizards from Terry Pratchett's Discworld book series: they're batshit insane and wasted all their points in intellect completely forgetting they needed wisdom too. They're the Wizards in Arby's before it was even a meme.

And not to make this list much longer as my phone is starting to lag: my current hyperfixation along many, many, many other things:

Ace from Final Fantasy Type 0: I like that he's not such a typical mage even though his movesets are 100% around magic, you won't catch homeboy with a staff, he's got cards to channel that magic. My poor son was basically trained (not to say experimented on) from a young age to have a great magic potential and be the great soldier his mom wanted him to be. I honestly like him better from the complementary content (novelization, mobile game, opera omnia, yadayadayada) as there, there's a much more deeper focus on how much messed up it was, though IG that's also why I like Ace so much, despite it all, and despite trying to keep an stoic bravado, he's just a kid, he wanted to learn to sing and be happy with his chocobos.

[wellmaybetheresworms]

On the Topic of 60s Batman

Just to be clear, I Genuinely Hate This Show.

This is all copy pasted from Discord, and there’s quite a bit. Also, at the time of writing, 60s Batman itself was playing in the background.

I fucking hate 60s Batman. Like, what is going on.

Nothing. Nothing is going on.

There is no consistent plot, for one.

the most consistency you're getting here is the continued plot between two episodes

Except that doesn't count because it's pretty much the same episode split into two.

And there's no backstory or actual worldbuilding for anything.

There's no backstory for Batman: all it provides is that he chose to be a bat because it's "scary" It's not, he looks stupid as hell

And all the antagonists get is a brief "oh he's evil because Batman spilled liquid nitrogen on him" at most

MOST OF THEM HAVE NO BACKSTORY

Like, I know the Joker doesn't have a backstory anyways, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THE PENGUIN AND MAD HATTER AND RIDDLER AND SUCH ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE SOMETHING Half the shit that comes out of Batman and Robin's mouthes is just stupid

Speaking of, the riddles in these

An absurd amount of the villains use riddles as hints, but whoever made this shit show decided to make them completely nonsensical

Like, they were trying to make it seem like Batman and Robin (mostly Batman) are super smart for solving these riddles that no one else can, but the riddles are so stupid it doesn't work

they just look stupider

Somehow.

Yet somehow they escape the horrible death traps in the middle of each story

AND NONE OF THE VILLAINS, NO MATTER HOW SMART THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE, JUST SHOOT BATMAN AND ROBIN IN THE HEADS

LIKE, YA KNOW THEY'RE GONNA ESCAPE ANY OTHER WAY YA DO IT, BUT YOU JUST PUT THEM IN WEIRD SITUATIONS WITHOUT RESPONSIBLE OR ANY SUPERVISION AND GO "OH YEAH, THIS GIANT CLAM'LL FINISH THEM OFF"

The only time it actually gets interesting is when Catwoman comes on, or right now, when the Joker and Penguin are working together, and managed to get into the Batcave

AND WHY THE FUCK DO THEY HAVE A QUOTA FOR HOW MANY TIMES THEY NEED TO SYA BAT

AND BATMAN ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT THE VILLAINS ARE DOING SO ANY SENSE OF DANGER THEY'RE TRYING TO CONVEY JUST DOESN'T WORK BECAUSE SOMEHOW, BATMAN IS AN AVATAR OF THE EYE

BUT NOT A FUN ONE

Now, onto the moral parts which I dislike

Oh yeah, before I get to the moral stuff, Robin is also the only one who's actually focused on what they're meant to be doing

Now morals

•Misogyny abundant: Women are stupid (other than Catwoman, Queen of Diamonds, and Ma Parker), and always fall in love with Batman, and every villain has to have a side chic who’s just there. •That one girl who fell to her death in the Batcave’s atomic reactor because Batman didn’t save her •Robin is a minor. And he’s regularly dragged into situations that could get him killed. Meanwhile, Batman’s always fine, getting his way out of traps and trauma, and flirting with women instead of working. Robin should be in school, or hanging out with friends, not nearly getting fed to crocodiles, tigers, and clams, or getting trapped in mazes thinking he’s going to die. This child has to have some amount of trauma. And yet he’s still working. He’s the damsel in distress, but they couldn’t have him be a woman because then he would have to be stupid or incompetent or Catwoman. Batman is a horrible guardian, and the stuff that Robin learns while working is all told directly to him by Batman, so he never needed to be in the field to learn it at all.

•Batman has a literal cure for all disease, and he’s keeping it to himself instead of, Oh, I dunno, mass-producing it. He’s more focused on being the hero than actually helping people. •The villains’ motivations aren’t important; all that matters is that they are bad. Period. They don’t get to be redeemed, not in the long run, and the law is always treating them right and just locking them up fairly. So essentially, “Once a criminal, always a criminal. It’s not the law’s fault that they’re just less than human monsters, since we’re treating them perfectly fine.” The fucking show is trying to teach kids that no matter how much the “good” side tries, the “evil monsters” are beyond redemption, and ultimately it’s useless to try. While they’re never shown getting hurt by any agent of “good” other than Batman and sometimes Robin, they’re not treated right, either. Batman literally says at one point that criminals have on friends. Every chance to make them seem horrible and irredeemable, and to dehumanize them is taken.

And worst of all, nothing's going to be done about it.

Batman's the "Good Guy", he's the hero, and those are the morals the show's trying to teach.

Normally people who do things against my morals to this extent have something happen to them for doing the wrong thing. But nothing's going to happen to show Batman and Robin and all the other people on the side of "good" that they're doing wrong because they're not meant to be doing wrong.

I genuinly hate this show. Maybe I could enjoy it if it wasn't encouraging such bullshit, but no. No. Nothing's going to happen to make it better. It's just stuck that way, and there's no way to fix it because it was made so long ago.

The most interesting part of the show is the villains, and even with (most of, Catwoman's always fun) them I can't properly enjoy because Batman Always Wins.

(The best part of this show is Catwoman. Queen. We love her. She’s totally autistic. And bi. And she loves cats. And she can run in heels.

Look at her. Praise Catwoman.)

[minzart]

Ok so I was thinking... (idk how'd I title this) ultimate visual novel/otome game!mc..? (This can also fall in line with yuu from a family of protags..)

Throughout their life been transferred and transported to many Romcon-esque scenarios. Being through so many years of highschool and college they can practically walk into any job and be over qualified for it.

~~~~

Mc: *waking up in coffin*

Mc:

~~~~

Mc has a bingo card system their not half way through the year and they already gotten 10 full card bingos

Mc: *pulling out bingo card* *underbreath* okay so far...we got.. 'totally not the secret villian Headmaster', himbo jock, Sus salesmen, old reliable... and hot home room teacher...

Azul: *whispering* what are the doing

Kalim: I have no Idea

Mc: there's the young looking but actually WAY older than everyone, the narcissistic beauty that gets his comeupings, small angry one...

Lila: I don't know about any of you... but I feel like beastie I'd talking about us..

Mc: oh! And there's 'also totally not the villian bestfriend', the delinquent that's likes cute things, the tsundere, cute boy that's two faced... the simp lackey

Sebek: *offended* >:-0

Mc: who else do we have... oh we also have the shut in otaku, 'also probably the secret villian', 'rich nieve who's servant is using them as a puppet', using my influence to be corrupt and the second born with a inferiority complex.

Leona: that last one seems TOO specific

Jamil: *annoyed* you tell me

Mc: Oh how could I forget.. then there's the younger brother replacement, the scholarship kid, the servant with a secret agenda, there's the dadd-*cough cough* the happy go lucky who depressed..

Trey:*deadpan* I can only guess

Mc: the sleeping beauty, the creepy one, the homo-erotic twins, childhood friend that doesn't even to this school, and the rival for the narcissistic beauty that gets his comeupings, the baby and the mascots character.. did I get a bingo?

~~~~

Azul: *telling his life story* and then the tied me to the bough of the ship during shark feeding time..

Mc: *writing everything down* did anyone.. of authority like a teacher.. or parent? Know of the situation?

Azul: yes.. but since they were merpeople nothing happened to them.. and if you don't mind me asking what makes you qualified for this job..?

Mc: oh trust me... I've heard and seen thing that would put most into a mental hospital..

~~~~

Mc: *after chapter one* *shuffling through bingo cards* ah yes 'the controlling mom' good this Riddle hasn't killed her yet..

~~~~

If mc is female: *tried to extend the olive branch to RSA*

RSA mob: *aghast* how could they keep such a far princess locked away!

Mc: Wait no...

RSA mod: those villains! A dams-

Mc: yeah yeah.. "I'm a damsel, I'm distressed" *rolling eyes* I got it.. good day!

Mc: *pulling out bingo card* prince complex

~~~~

Welcome to today's episode of "habits of the mc"

Mc has developed a habit of checking the couch/bed before flopping down so they don't squish anyone sleeping

Ace: so then he was like shpee then the other dude was like bravve pew pew! *flops onto chair*

Deuce: I know right it was SO COOL *sits on chair*

Mc: hm.. I'll have...to.. Check it out..*looking over couch*

Ace: what are you doing..?

Mc: I don't to sit on grimm by accident

-----

A God in the kitchen

Jack: what do you think their making?

Ace: what ever it is smells like heaven

-----

Always makes sure to make extra because some one might stop by

Mc: *setting table* BOYS GO WASH UP AND COME EAT

First years: *not walks but runs to the dining room*

Jack: h-how do you we were here?

Mc: I have my ways dear

Knows how to play a multitude of instruments

Lila: *giving mc a club tour* and this is the music club! I'm actually apart of this club~

Mc: cool co- IT THAT AN KILIMBA!

Lila: why yes~ but nobody really plays it.. surprisingly it's quite hard to learn

Mc: *plays a small tune* somebody I knew liked playing this~

-----

Mother hens everyone

Mc: *eating lunch with friends*

Epel: *messily eating mash potatoes*

Mc: * not looking away from food* you got some schmutz on your face.. *wiping eple's face of potatoes* let me get that

Epel: Hey! I could do that myself!

Mc: yes I know but not to point fingers.. but vil has been giving you quite the death glare

Always has something for something

Idia: *muttering* I should have come out today *Kamil, Rook and cater have been chasing him*

Mc: *see's idia starting freaking out* hello Idia dear~ why don't you come with me!

Idia: *a shivering mess* w-where... ar-are you t-taking me..?

Mc: oh just to the infirmary.. *pulls out some candy and a portable game* here.. now Come on~

Has an eye on the back of their head

Floyd: *sneaking up on mc*

Mc: stop right there floyd leech

Floyd: HUH! BUT SHRIMY!

Mc: now not another sass

-----

Casually doing magic even though the mirror said they had none

Mc: now all of you wake up~

Cleaning supplies: *start animating to life*

Crowley: *confused scilence*

THE BINGO CARD

I LOVE HOW SEBEK KNOWS IT'S HIM THE SIMP

[antipodeanpineapplelump]

WIP... Tuesday?

Just in case anyone was wondering what useless novelty project I’m spending my time on now, may I introduce:

Or more accurately: “Shisui Uchiha and the Saga of the Overly Complex Movie Poster that’s Taking Up all of the Author’s Writing Time.”

Or: “Shisui Uchiha and the One-off Story that Accidentally Turned Into a Trilogy, much to the Author’s Total Lack of Surprise.”

So anyway, I have 30,000 words (3/9 chapters of the first part) so far and as usual, no timeline for completing this story. But I’m definitely in too deep to back out now! My new approach to stories is to write the whole thing, then post week by week. So this one is still probably several months away at least...

But here’s a quick preview:

The list of things Shisui Uchiha regrets in his life is pretty small.

A handful of ill-considered one night stands, several embarrassing bets with members of his family, the summer he decided to turn emo, oh—and one particularly notable fuck-up early in his career that very nearly ended it prematurely. But, for the most part, it’s been smooth-sailing.

Sure, maybe the odd rival takes a pot shot at him here or there. Ancient booby traps try to kill him, or the local wildlife steps in where they’ve left off. He and spiders are categorically never going to get along. But he’s never had cause to regret his career itself. He loves everything about treasure hunting—the adventure, the danger, the intellectual challenge of it all. The way his heart races when he finds some ancient artifact supposedly lost for good.

So, all in all, his current position—perched twenty feet up a silk cotton tree in India, surrounded by about two-dozen armed thugs personally out for his blood—well, that’s just another day at the office.

Two of the men walk below Shisui’s hiding place and he holds his breath, watching. They’re thick-built meat-heads; improbable amalgams of every jackbooted thug to ever grace a movie screen, with jawlines Chuck Norris could break a fist on, and brows that would make a Neanderthal proud. Supressing the snicker that threatens to escape him at the thought, Shisui wonders where Gato keeps finding these idiots. Some sort of steroid-fuelled body building conference maybe…

Comfortable they’re far too stupid to realise he’s here, he swings his legs back and forward, checking his bag to make sure his prize is still undamaged. Thankfully, despite having beaten a hasty retreat through the crowded city streets, the jewel-encrusted golden elephant winks up at him like a winning lottery ticket. One that’s going to pay for fancy canapes, champagne and extra leg room on Shisui’s flight home. Then a lot more afterwards.

But karma, as they say, is a bitch.

And karma, for Shisui, makes itself known in the form of a fluffy grey creature that plops down onto the branch beside him, joined in short order by half a dozen other partners in crime. At first, the macaque just fixes its intelligent gaze on Shisui, as though assessing what to do with him. Then, one very pregnant pause later, after the apparent realisation that no food is immediately forthcoming, the ringleader opens its mouth and screams. Loudly.

Shit.

“No, shhh…” Shisui orders in a loud whisper. “Oh come on, don’t be an asshole.”

The screaming continues, soon swelling to a cacophony as the others join in.

“Shoo!” he pleads, waving his arms around to try and scare them off. “I’ll buy you bag of bananas or something when I get down from here, just please shut up…”

But the little bastards don’t stop and, if anything, Shisui’s heated objection only seems to be pissing them off more. Which is fantastic, because truly the last thing he needs today is to catch rabies or—

From the bottom of the tree, someone clears their throat. “Ahem.”

Or that.

It’s smug, officious, and quite frankly, about the last voice Shisui wants to hear right now. Every part of him sinks. On reflection, maybe it was a bit arrogant to think he wouldn’t have been followed to the temple. To think he was just going to walk in, pilfer a several-centuries old treasure, and walk out again, a comfortable five-figure sum the richer for it.

But then, it wouldn’t be the first time.

Sighing, he looks down to see his least-favourite human approximation of a turd. “Gato.”

“Well, well, if it isn’t my favourite globe-trotting Uchiha. Fancy seeing you here,” Gato says, appearing inordinately pleased. His trademark sunglasses sit awkwardly atop his bulbous nose, straddling a pencil moustache that looks like a worm met its unfortunate end on his face some years ago, and he never bothered to wipe it off.

For reasons he can’t currently articulate, it annoys the shit out of Shisui. Possibly because if there’s anything he hates more than someone getting the better of him, it’s someone who’s as much of a fucking waste of space as Gato getting the better of him.

“Yeah well, you know how it is,” he says, glancing around for a quick exit. “Ancient treasures to find, damsels in distress to rescue…”

But unfortunately, the crowd of highly armed men around Gato is growing by the second, and Shisui’s options are looking somewhat thin on the ground. At least, all the ones that don't end with him riddled in bullet holes. Damn macaques…

Gato grins. In the pre-monsoon heat, sweat rolls down his neck and spreads like an oily stain across his collar. “Oh, I’m well aware of how you operate... You’re a businessman, just like me. Always taking jobs for the highest bidder.” Before Shisui can open his mouth to disagree, Gato holds up a hand, adding, “I know, I know… you don’t see yourself that way. Moral code or whatever it is you like to call it. But in reality, the only difference between us is that you have the air of legitimacy that comes with an academic backing, whereas I’m willing to admit what I really want.”

“And what do you want, Gato?” Shisui asks flatly, already knowing the answer. The tired old game they’re playing here.

“That trinket you have in your bag.” Gato licks his lips, as though he can taste the champagne he’s going to be drinking once he returns the statue to whoever hired him, to disappear into some private collection, never to see the light of day again.

“What do I get in return?” Shisui asks, even though it’s obvious from Gato’s expression that he’s not going to like it, whatever it is.

A mirthless laugh assaults his ears. “I’ll let you live to cross paths with me another day.”

As offers go, it’s not very believable. But as much as Shisui hates to admit when his luck’s run out, even he can see the writing on the wall. Today really isn’t his day. Sure, he might trust Gato about as far as he could throw him, but even Gato isn’t stupid enough to shoot him on a main street, in broad daylight. Probably…

Retrieving the golden elephant from his bag, Shisui tosses it carefully down.

Turning the trinket over in his hands, Gato lets out a hum of appreciation. “Very nice. My client will be pleased.” He hands it off to one of his many thugs to box up, then peers back through the branches, looking more like a slug than Shisui would ever have thought possible. Reinforcing the impression, his lips twist with a slimy smile. “Well, as always, it’s been nice doing business with you Shisui. But I think, unfortunately, you’ve caused me trouble for the last time.”

Far too pleased for Shisui’s taste, Gato steps back, raising his hand in a gesture that looks awfully like it’s intended as a final farewell. Or a smug ‘fuck you.’ Either way, the message is perfectly clear.

Shisui rolls his eyes, mentally scratching off another predictable villainous turn on his treasure hunting bingo card. “All right,” he calls after Gato’s retreating back. “Nice doing business with you too! See you next time...” Under his breath he mutters, “Asshole…”

Truly, Gato doesn't have an original bone in his body. It's like he once read The Idiots Guide to Being a B-Grade Movie Villain, then internalised it on the spot to make up for a lack of anything remotely resembling a personality. But, pathetic imitation of a villain or not, his bullets are still effective.

The leaves around him shred beneath the pop, pop of gunfire as Shisui sucks in a rushed breath, bracing himself for what he’s about to do. The branch wobbles precariously beneath his feet as he races along it, pushing off into air that rushes past, disconcerting and empty. The slender gap to the building seems to widen to the span of a gaping abyss—

He hits the rail of the apartment with thud, clambering quickly over it to fall on his back on the balcony, winded, but mercifully unharmed. A macaque peers over the guttering at him, with a leering grin that clearly threatens more screaming.

“Don’t you start,” he warns, waggling a finger at it.

But there’s barely a moment to catch his breath before the sound of splintering wood below indicates another problem. Or an extension of the same one. Bounding to his feet, Shisui scoops up his hat, settles it back on his head, and checks over the railing. A bullet clips the plaster nearby—a pretty good indication that Gato’s men have every idea where he’s gone. That, combined with the way they’re currently pushing through the lower doors to the complex probably doesn’t mean anything good for him.

“Shit,” he announces to no one in particular. It’s times like these he really wishes he carried a gun…

Forcing his way into the mercifully empty apartment off the balcony, Shisui slips quickly through it. Cracking open the door on the far side, he checks the coast is clear. It is.

Of course, it doesn’t stay that way for long. Halfway along the open air corridor, there’s a cry of discovery from his pursuers, followed by more shooting. Seriously, why are the bad guys always bringing guns to Shisui’s knife fights?

Ducking, he runs faster, bursting into another apartment filled with hazy cigarette smoke and shocked faces before finally making it to an exterior stairwell on the far side. Looking at the next building over, it’s immediately apparent the gap is way too far for him to use the same trick he did before. But with Gato’s men advancing on him from below, maybe he can just make it to street level and bypass them altogether…

A thicket of power cables criss-crosses the span between the buildings, with one nearby running almost to the level of the shop awnings below. Sending a rash of silent prayers to whatever gods take care of Indian power line maintenance, Shisui detaches a length of rope from his belt and flings it over the wire, gripping each side like a makeshift zipline. Holding his breath, he pushes off into empty space. To his surprise and considerable delight, the line holds.

It sweeps him across the street, picking up more and more speed, until the side of the other building is rushing at him like—

Shit.

He impacts it with his shoulder, coming to an uncomfortable and jarring stop. Pain shoots down his arm and he lets go of the rope, crashing through a fabric awning and landing ungracefully in a huge stack of bagged flour. Dust floats down around him and Shisui groans, moving each of his limbs in turn. By some miracle, nothing seems broken. Not even his tantō in its leather holster at his back.

Oh well. Fall down seven times, stand up eight…

Apparently his exit was none too subtle though, because Gato’s men are leaning over the stairwell railing, yelling and pointing at the mess he’s made. Dragging himself to his feet, Shisui evades an angry store owner, brushes flour off of his clothes and resumes running for his life.

Never let anyone say archaeology is boring.

As he emerges back onto the main street, searching for quick and easy exit, the sound of screeching brakes and angry honking carries from the road. Cutting a wild path through traffic is an old open-top olive-drab Jeep with several gold charms dangling from its rear-view mirror. It jerks to a stop just before hitting Shisui, both side wheels riding up on the curb.

“Need a ride?” the female driver asks, grinning.

Her windswept hair hangs past the fashionable silk scarf tied at her neck. Unmanicured nails wrap around the slender metal of the steering wheel, like they couldn’t be more at home there. They’re a stark contrast with the cream suit linen she’s wearing, rolled up neatly to her elbows. Speckled with dirt, it looks like she’s probably travelled halfway across the country to be here, and been up to her elbows in the grease of the Jeep’s engine at some point to do it. She’s a walking contradiction—albeit one Shisui is delighted to see.

“Izumi!” he exclaims happily.

Eyes sparkling, she waves. “Hey.”

“I thought you were practicing on the course in Reno this weekend… What’re you doing here?”

A shot rings out, kicking up dust near one of the tyres. Glancing behind him, Izumi rolls her eyes, reaching across to throw open the door. “What am I always doing? Saving your ass, you idiot... Now get in before one of us gets shot, or I have to find out whether my rental insurance covers illegal firefight damage.”

[shera-dnd]

AND WE’RE BACK BABY! WHO IS READY FOR SOME ANGST?

Well you better be ready, because I packed this one full of it

The campfire crackled between them, fire lighting their faces and smoke rising into the night sky. Silence had fallen over their camp, and none dared to break it. Belladonna, the Black Cat turned Black Knight, held her knees to her chest, tail wrapped protectively around her body. Though she easily towered over her companions, now she felt so small and frail.

“I knew there was something wrong with Taurus,” Amitola spoke first. She could still remember the way Belladonna looked at him like he was the most beautiful thing in the world, and how he looked at her like she was nothing more than a valuable asset.

“And I should have known much sooner,” Belladonna replied, quietly.

Weiss, for her part, stayed quiet. Amitola wasn’t sure if this was due to having her words taken from her, or out of respect for their conversation.

“He lied to us,” she said, and red tinged her skin as her anger rose, “he said the humans took you. That we should avenge your death.”

“Of course he did,” Belladonna sighed, though there was no disappointment in her voice, there was still sadness, “I shouldn’t be surprised that he turned my defiance into more fuel for his revenge.”

“When I saw you I thought...I thought you had faked your own death to escape us, that you had left us,” that you had left me, she thought, but did not dare say it out loud, “when you had only left him.”

“Could you claim you would have been more accepting?” Belladonna asked, looking her in the eyes, “that the court wouldn’t have slain me the moment I spoke of my plan.”

And once more there was silence, tense and agonizing. Holding the Black Cat’s gaze in that moment was like holding your breath, and there was only so long Amitola could keep that up.

“No, I cannot,” she spoke, red shifting into blue, “even now I doubt this plan will ever work.”

Belladonna let out a sad chuckle, “sometimes even I have my doubts.”

“Well, I don’t!” Weiss declared, breaking her silence. Though Amitola could only shake her head, the Black Cat looked at her with something almost like hope in her eyes. “You are a fae who has clad herself in iron, and refused to burn. You have done the impossible once, Lady Blake, I cannot see how you couldn’t do it a second time.”

“I appreciate your confidence, my lady,” Belladonna thanked, “but I have done nothing more than accept Lord Ozpin’s gift.”

“Then accept my gift as well,” Weiss insisted, taking the Black Cat’s hand. Jealous greens and reds marred her at the sight, “I shall take my father’s seat at the council, and my sister shall take Ironwood’s once she becomes the Witch of Winter. Together we can sway the council in our favor, we can reshape Atlas. We can build the bridge from our side too.”

Light returned to Belladonna’s eyes and she smiled, “I didn’t take you for the kind to have big dreams, Lady Weiss.”

“This isn’t a dream,” she countered, “it’s a plan, and my plans don’t fail!”

Amitola couldn’t help herself. “Haven’t your plans for the festival failed miserably?”

“Things have certainly not gone the way I expected, but I must say…” Weiss took her hands away from Belladonna’s and looked directly at Amitola, with a smirk on her face that set her skin into a riot of colors, “I much prefer it this way.”

Her body seemed to decide that yellows and pinks were the colors of choice for the moment, as much as the fae herself found it profoundly disagreeable, forcefully changing it back to its natural colors.

“This still doesn’t speak well for your planning skills, Schnee,” Amitola argued, “and here I thought your whole family knew how to scheme from birth.”

“Actually, we have a scheming tutor,” Weiss played along, “though I can’t say I paid much attention to mine.”

“I take it you were too busy daydreaming about sword fighting and rescuing damsels in distress to pay attention to your classes,” Amitola joked, finally getting her revenge by making the human blush for once.

“You are…not incorrect,” Weiss answered quietly.

This whole time none of them seem to notice the bright smile on Belladonna’s face. Genuine and full of joy, only growing as they continued to playfully argue. It was only when laughter escaped her lips that her cheer was brought to their attention.

“Are you well, Lady Blake?” Weiss asked, a little worried by the sudden display of mirth from the fae.

“I’m more than well,” she answered, another chuckle escaping her, “you two just reminded me of why I chose this path in the first place.”

Weiss looked oh so very pleased with herself, smiling back at the Black Cat. Amitola on the other hand was utterly disgusted at the implication, and at how happy it made the Schnee. She forced her skin to shift a sickly green, before faking a gag.

“Don’t be rude!” Weiss complained, nudging her with her elbow.

“Bite me, Schnee!”

Belladonna could only laugh at those two, comfortably leaning back and watching them go at each other once again, her tail swaying contently behind her. To see a Schnee and an unseelie play around like this, it made her mission feel just a little bit more possible, and the slightest hint more rewarding.

It was unfortunate then that Amitola did not quite see the value in Belladonna’s pursuit.

In the days that followed Amitola continued to fulfil her roles in Fennec and Corsac’s plan. It started simple, spying on the human nobility, taking on different faces so she could listen to their never ending gossip.

Then came the rumors, spread through words she spoke in the wind, or through faces that weren’t her own. Small things, little twists on the truth, small lies here and there to rile up the nobility. Soon fear would spread among them, the fear that there was a spy in their ranks, that one of the kingdoms was conspiring against the others, during a celebration of peace no less.

Amitola did not delude herself, she knew this wouldn’t be enough to spark a war between the nations, this was simply the first step, gathering wood so someone else may light the pyre of war. But once the fire was lit, she had made sure that it had enough fuel to keep on burning until Atlas was consumed whole.

And the Schnees along with it.

Not a month ago she would’ve been filled with pride at having a hand in the destruction of that damned family, and their accursed kingdom with it. Now it was difficult to find any joy in this. When every night she returned to that same smile from across the campfire, the smell of the meal she had prepared for them, the sound of that playful voice. It stripped her heart of any joy it could find, and in its place left only the terrible weight of guilt.

She knew peace wasn’t an option, that Belladonna had deluded herself, and that this could only end in war. This was her only option. If this could only end with one side destroying the other, then she had to make sure her side was the one to survive.

She had to do this. They had to burn so her people wouldn’t have to.

Even when Penny stumbled onto her again and again, every time offering little apologies riddled with that sweet giggle of hers.

They had to burn.

Even when the Branwen sisters sang and recited beautiful poetry about their home, their family, the people they love.

They had to burn.

Even when she saw that sparkle in Belladonna’s eye whenever she talked about the future and all the amazing things they’d achieve together.

They had to burn.

Even when Weiss smiled so sweetly. When she snarked and bantered with Amitola over something silly. When she gave Amitola space, because she knew when to back down. When she laughed. When they sparred. When she looked at her, her real self, as if she had never seen something quite so beautiful.

They had to burn.

But Amitola didn’t want to be the one to light that torch.

Days passed, and the tournament grew ever nearer, with now only two nights between them and the great event they had been waiting for. It was half heartedly then that Amitola continued her job, that she continued to don the faces of strangers and speak words she did not care to remember.

It was perhaps of this indisposition that she did not catch the pair of eyes that followed her as she left the tents of the vacuan emissaries.

“Lady Ilia,” called the last voice she wished to hear.

Amitola did her best to pretend not to hear it. She turned to leave, but there she was.

“I’ve been looking for you all evening,” Weiss informed her, “where have you been?”

“None of your business, Schn--Gigas,” Amitola snapped.

There was some annoyance in her expression, but she put it away and did not push. Curse her for being so understanding.

“How did you find me anyways?” Amitola continued, trying her best to stay angry at her companion.

“Mostly luck, but with some unwitting help from Lord Marigold,” Weiss answered, causing the fae’s eyes to go wide in attention, “he was attempting to spy on you for some gods forsaken reason, but I sent him scurrying away before he got the chance.”

Oh no.

How much had Marigold seen? How long had he been following her? Damn it all, if he saw something she couldn’t risk letting him tell anyone. But silencing him would require…

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay. He didn’t see anything,” Weiss assured, offering Amitolla her arm, “how about I walk you back to camp?”

Or maybe she could ignore the little lordling for now. It’s not like anyone with any real power actually believes a single word he says. Oh, curse the Schnee again for having this effect on her.

“I...wouldn’t be opposed,” she sighed, resigning herself to a fate of wanting to spend time with a Schnee and genuinely enjoying it.

And so they crossed the festival grounds, arm in arm in a way that Amitola vehemently refused to acknowledge. Part of her worried that people were watching them, making assumptions as to the nature of their relationship, but it was clear the festival goers could not care less about a single minor noble and her little knight.

Weiss on the other hand was trying her best to not look profoundly pleased by this turn of events. She was failing miserably, of course, but it was clear that she was trying. Another curse, this time for being so endeering in her awkwardness.

“You know, I meant what I said,” Weiss spoke, quietly, so only the fae could hear it, “the festival hasn’t gone the way I expected it, but I think I’m much happier with how things turned out.”

Amitola did not answer. It was hard to, when it felt like Weiss had just impaled her heart.

“As a kid I always wanted to come to the festival. I wanted to be a knight like my sister, and compete in the Vytal tournament,” she continued, unaware of the pain in her companion’s heart, “this is my first festival, and I’m glad I get to enjoy it with you.”

They had to burn.

“This is my first festival too,” she informed, voice naturally even, as she did all she could to hide the turmoil building inside her, “my parents used to show me the tents when I was a kid, and they told me that someday, when I had mastered my glamours, I would get to walk among the humans and enjoy the celebrations with you.”

“They must be happy for you then,” Weiss offered with a smile, but she was wrong.

They had to burn.

“I’m certain that they would be.”

There was a question stuck between Weiss’s lips, something she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer to, so instead she stayed silent. Thankfully they had reached their camp and Amitola finally had an excuse to escape the Schnee’s terrifyingly comforting touch.

“Where is Blake?” Amitola asked, trying to escape the topic.

“She plans to spend the night with Lady Yang,” Weiss answered, “I believe she wishes to tell her about her nature.”

“Of course,” was her only reply, now wishing for nothing more than sweet silence.

For a while Weiss obliged, focusing all her attention on making them both supper. Allowing Amitola to enjoy some momentary peace, even if her mind and heart denied her any. It was unfortunate then, that even this flawed blessing was also a fleeting one.

“That’s why you hate my family, isn’t it?” Weiss asked, though she already knew the answer, “we’ve hurt you and your family.”

“Always so clever, Schnee,” Amitola mocked, half heartedly, “yes, your family is the reason why my parents and my entire village are gone.”

Shock and horror spread through Weiss’s face, “I did not know.”

They had to burn.

“Of course you didn’t, you were probably just a little girl back then,” Amitola offered, “I was barely old enough to understand what was happening.”

She only noticed she was crying when she saw the stains from the teardrops on her dress. It had been so long and yet that memory still wracked her with such terrible sadness. Even back with Taurus, when he insisted that she allowed that tragedy to fuel her rage, she could not find any anger in her, only sadness. Anger and hate were things she had to learn.

“Your family’s men had pushed my village further down river, so they could open up a new iron mine,” she told her through the tears, “for a while we thought that would be it, that if we just lived our lives away from your people, that maybe we’d be allowed to live on,” a sad chuckle escaped her, “but things just couldn’t be that easy. One day that mine flooded, and the iron your father had mined now poisoned our river, and my village burned.”

“I’m sorry,” Weiss whispered, tears streaking down her face as well, “I’m so sorry.”

They...had to burn.

“I know.”

Amitola couldn’t look at Weiss right now, she couldn’t bear to see the genuine sadness and worry in it, so she looked away. So she was surprised when she felt Weiss’s arms wrap around her in the terrible comfort of a hug.

“I--I promise I won’t let anything like this happen again. I swear it, I’ll do everything within my power to keep this tragedy from repeating itself,” Weiss swore once more. Yet another on the long list of oaths she has made to Amitola.

And yet, this time, she believed her. She genuinely and truly believed every word Weiss said. She was a human, a Schnee, and Amitola couldn’t help but trust her implicitly. But that wasn’t the worst part - no - the worst part was the revelation that came next.

“They would have loved you, you know?” Amitola said, voice cracking with every word, “my parents. They would’ve been truly happy that I met you.”

Weiss pulled away, just enough to look into the fae’s eyes. Perhaps it was all the tears clouding her vision, but to her the Schnee’s expression was unreadable.

“I would have been honored to meet them.”

They...

She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t keep tearing herself apart, she couldn’t keep doing this.

“Curse you, Weiss,” Amitola whispered, “why must you be kind? Why can’t you be the monster I always thought you’d be?”

Weiss wiped away her tears, looking at her now with clear confusion, “what?”

“Things would be so much easier if you were some hateful monster. It would be so much easier if I didn’t care,” Amitola accused as she shoved her away, “but you had to be so trusting, you just had to be lovely, did you not? You had to make this hurt.”

“Ilia, I don’t understand.”

“I betrayed you, you fool!” Amitola shouted, “I’ve been spying for the fae for days now, and you just let me, because you were enough of an idiot to trust me!”

Weiss tried to stand up, but roots and vines had grown around her legs while she was distracted.

“Ilia!” She called, desperately trying to get rid of damned plants.

“Curse you, Weiss Schnee,” she repeated, more softly, with every hope that Weiss wouldn’t hear, “curse you for making me love you.”

She left for the woods before she could hear her answer.

[pixie-dust-and-pain]

Anarchy

It wasn’t supposed to go this far, it was only meant to be a harmless game. An interest intended only to keep her satisfied until she latched onto the next new thing, but he’d crossed the line. Now, she was willing to do whatever it took to bring him to his knees before her. Now, she was going to topple him down from his throne, and throw down his sparkling crown of glass, and show him that glass was made to shatter. She was going to wreck his carefully crafted tyrannical system, pull it apart brick by brick, and leave both it and him vulnerable to the core. She was going to prove to everybody that had placed even an ounce of trust in him that they should’ve condemned him all along. She didn’t care if she wasn’t queen, but she wasn’t going to let him succeed in being the king. She was going to declare anarchy. 

Warnings: slight sexual innuendo

I wrote this during class

(I haven't used Tumblr that much yet so I'm not aware of the layout of general fanfics, so please do enlighten me)

Chapter 2

She closed her eyes, absentmindedly tapping the wooden desk with her fingertips as she waited for Slughron to move onto her table. He was currently chiding Olive Hornby for not cutting her leaves the right size and having chopped them too big. She rolled her eyes, annoyance prickling at her as she frowned in his direction. The old coot had already wasted half the class praising Tom Riddle. Surely, he could cut short his ravings and move on now.

Finally, he moved onto her desk, and peering at her result, he arched a brow. He seemed confused for a second, before a satisfied grin made its way onto his lips. “You are a natural, my dear. The ingredients were rather simple and watered down, I didn’t think that a student of your age could’ve made such an advanced potion. I must say, I hadn’t expected this much, but well done…” he trailed off, probably indulging himself in fantasies of how having two top-students from his house would be a bonus.

She smiled politely at Slughorn, a satisfied feeling pooling in her. The moment he left, however, her eyes drifted to Tom Riddle, and she smiled at him in cruel content. He glanced at her, a bored expression occupying his face, and turned back to his book. It wasn’t much, but she didn’t care. She’d gotten his attention, at least.

She didn’t know why she was doing this. Truly, it was a lot less productive than her other occasional indulgences. But he’d been Hogwarts’ best student for far too long, and she was getting tired of having his praises sung every time she entered a room. She’d been surprised at the amount of self-control she had, especially since she had managed not to slap a person every time they spoke his accomplishments and prided herself for her restrain.

She wasn’t one to engage in academic excellence. For what she had planned, wasting her time on good grades, paying attention in classes that teach her about topics she already knows, and obtaining useless knowledge was unnecessary, but she had to admit, it did feel good to be the top of the class, even if it was just once. 

Her eyes wander to Riddle again, and this time, she stares. She wouldn’t lie to herself by admitting that he wasn’t conventionally attractive, he had, after all, made her blush a time or two, but he was just so perfect it was odd. Surely, nobody could be that flawless. And so, she’d dug, scraped together pieces of information, observed him through the shadows, noted how his “friends” seemed to cower before him, and how they used to turn pale after an accident or even a lousy slip of tongue.  

It had been easy for her to do so. She was a nobody in the castle, insignificant, and weak. She wasn’t exactly “under the radar”, but she wasn’t the sort to be suspected. She was sweet and innocent and weak, and an overall shame to Slytherin. She didn’t care much of it, her reputation, the bullying it caused, it was all a trivial matter. They were small consequences as opposed to the advantages she’d gained. Sweet and gentle girl she was, how could she ever cause anybody any harm? And thus, she’d been granted access to the restricted section, occasional visits to the forbidden forest (with a professor, naturally) and an immediate exclusion to suspicion every time something went wrong.

She’d worked hard to build up her image as the harmless little damsel in distress, and the teasing and exclusion from the general Slytherin body was a small price to pay. It wasn’t that they didn’t like her (they adored her, actually) but that Hogwarts ran on a hierarchal system, and the rulers of the system seemed to have it in for her and her so-called “disgrace” to the Slytherin house, and so everybody who seemed to be more than a mere acquaintance to her was immediately shunned. She supposed it had something to do with her open acceptance of muggleborns, but she couldn’t seem to bring herself to care.

She steals a glance at him again, and he wasn’t even looking in her direction, far too immersed in his book to care. Or, at least, that was how he made it out to be. She knew he cared; it would be ridiculous if he didn’t. She smiled to herself, basking in the knowledge that she’d gotten his attention.

But she’d done so much more than just that, hadn’t she? She couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face. She’d upstaged him.

~*~

“Ellison,” a smooth voice says, pulling her out of her trance. She snaps the book shut hastily, casting a non-verbal spell to change its name and prays that he doesn’t notice.

“Hi?” She offers, smiling awkwardly. She hadn’t thought this far, really. She’d just expected to be confronted by one of his cronies or to have him send her annoyed glares now and then. Total confrontation? Well, that was a bold step.

“May I join you?” He asks, gesturing to the empty seats next to her. She nodded, still keeping the awkward smile on. He should’ve realized by now it was a desperate cry for help.

It was an awkward silence after that, interrupted by only the occasional turning of page. It’s odd, and she pauses, paying the utmost attention to the boy next to her. He doesn't seem to realize that she has stopped, and if he does, he makes no move to acknowledge it. It's quiet, and she realizes that she's the only one who's been turning her page all this time. "Are you alright?" she finally asks, raising a brow at him.

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Well, you haven't turned your page once since you've gotten here, and seem to be having trouble with-" she peers over, and raises a brow, “-the acknowledgements,”

"And you've paid all that precious attention to me instead of focusing our on your," he pauses and squints at the title, "Kamasutra,"

She doesn't have the shame to blush, and only silently curses herself for not paying more attention to what she’d renamed the book as, "Look, Tim-"

"Tom," he sharply corrects.

"Whatever, I don't want any trouble. And it wasn't me who asked to sit next to you, now was it?” And honestly you just sitting there like a statue is creepy,”

“How did you do it?” he asks finally, leaning back into the chair and studying her. She has to admit, his undivided attention feels nice.

“Do what?” beat you in potions? Then defense against the dark arts? She doesn’t voice her thoughts out loud, and gets up and shoves her items hastily into her bag.

“Make the potion,” he says. It’s a clever dodge.

She smiles wryly at him, “I’m not that much of a dunce, Riddle,”

“Well, you haven’t exactly made your abilities clear before, have you? How the sudden change?”

“I’m late for class-”

“It’s lunch,”

“Even worse, then.” She tries to leave, but he grabs her wrist. His grip is painful, and she wonders how dire the consequences would be if she twists his hand.

“I don’t take well to being ignored, Ellison,” he says, his grip bruising and his eyes glinting. She doesn’t feel scared, then, only more aware. It was a dangerous game she was playing, and Tom Riddle could, if he wanted, hurt her. It was an intoxicating feeling, knowing that what she was doing had the potential to be life-threatening if she wanted it to. She hasn’t had the sweet taste of danger in so long, it feels freeing to acknowledge it again.

She smiles demurely, the picture of submission, and twists his wrist in reply as she wrestles her hand out of his. The only sign of him being pained by the even tis his sharp intake of breath.

It’s like gambling, this strange interest of hers. It has obvious consequences, but it’s just so entertaining. She walks out of the library, glancing only momentarily at the spot he’d grabbed her. She can see his fingerprints, a bruising shape on her wrist, clearly visible. This was going to be fun.

[dreaminpeaches]

New Paracosm AU: Big Hero Beau

@decaykid yes, kind of...

Okay, like I said in my last post this idea came to me after listening to Fist Pump and Viva Namida on loop with pacing.

So you know like how the original Humble Pie paracosm is very western horror kind of drama, yeah? well, this paracosm is just full on ANIME BBY!!! I'm talking Space Dandy, I'm talkin' Gurren Lagann, I'm talkin maybe a little bit of Trigun, and also takes alot from action rpgs like Bayonetta, Devil May Cry, Persona, Viewitful Joe, and Wonderful 101 (but its like only two people), and takes alot from Sonic the hedgehog (mostly Sonic Underground, Sonic Adventure 2, and Sonic Forces), and little bit from Fancy Pants ( that's not an anime or a "real" video game, its just an old flash game I used to hyperfixate on).

This paracosm is completely different which is why I gave it, it's own name instead of just adjective then "!"

This version of Beau takes a lot of inspiration from Dandy ( Space Dandy), Vash The Stampede (Trigun), Sonic The Hedgehog (Sonic The Hedgehog), and Kamina (Gurren Langann)

In this paracosm, both of Beau's parents perished in a tragic accident, Beau takes his siblings to an abandoned shack and they hide out and live out there. the tragedy this motivative Beau to become stronger and a hero, not only to keep his siblings safe but others too. The last thing his mom told him was that his smile could save a thousand lives, so because of that he always keeps an upbeat, go get 'em attitude, and he doesn't want to bum his younger siblings out. His mom also gave Beau her heart shape locket before she passed on, so Beau has worn it ever since that day.

The locket is very precious to him, he doesn't let anyone touch it (other than his siblings), and if he loses it he'll go into a panic attack and can't do anything else until he finds it again.

Dev, Beau's little brother, also wants to be strong and a hero, he tries to train like his brother but he can't keep up. Beau tells Dev that he has to be strong in his own way, so Dev decides to put his tech skills to good use and make his older brother cool weapons for him to use. I forgot to mention in this paracosm some people are born with superpowers and such, and Beau's superpowers are super strength and speed, while Dev's superpower is super intelligence.

Dev can't keep up with his brother on foot, so he made himself a jetpack to keep up, and makes science weapons for himself to use.

In this paracosm, there are evil robots, pirates, bandits, ninjas, demons, fallen angels, giant spiders, bad guys who kidnap pretty people, any enemy you would find in a video game or anime yeah it's probably here. So, there's always something for Beau and Dev to fight or someone to save from something.

Beau and Dev don't have secret identities since superpowered people are common but they get to have a pretty rad transformation scene activate when they fist bump each other.

Beau fighting style is similar to that of a hack and slack fighting game, Beau mostly use his fists to fight and his speed, he'll also use guns too, but he'll only use swords if he thinks he can pull off a cool move, since not really experience using them that much. Dev made Beau special gloves and boots that make the attack range of his hit larger so its easier to take out hoards of stuff like robots (which happens lot) and big enemies like giant monsters.

His boots are also guns so its like....

Oh, and Beau also makes sure that he always looks cool when fighting just in case someone takes a pic (which happens alot). Unlike Bayonetta, Beau is more playful with his posing rather than sexy.

Dev's wits come in handy when the two come across puzzles, riddles, or finding a way out of traps on their adventures since Beau didn't complete school once his parents passed and mostly focus on raising his siblings and hero training.

Much like Sonic, Beau is very snarky and witty while fighting his enemies (or at least tries to be), he always tries to make a snarky comment or a really cool zinger before finishing off his enemy. Due to his kind of being not the sharpest tool in the shed, it can take a while for him to come up with a good zinger, so it kind of stalls fights, and sometimes it gets to the point where the enemy is just like "Oh my GOD! just KILL ME!", this also annoys and embarrasses Dev too at times.

Beau makes money from bounties and doing odd jobs around, he makes enough for his siblings to live comfortably, but there are times where he'll go hungry because he only has enough for Dev and Carrie to eat. Beau is still a kind of a lower-level hero compare to the other well know ones around.

Dev has also made a rocket ship so they can fight intergalactically on other planets

Carrie in this paracosm is still 4 years old, she has yet to show any signs of having powers, which is pretty normal for her age since people in this world don't show powers until they hit their pre-teen years.

Beau will take Carrie on their adventures if it's safe enough, but if the mission is too dangerous Beau will take her to the nearest daycare or the nearest trustworthy femme person. Beau will try to make the mission or fight end quickly as possible if he left Carrie with a stranger, there's a sigh of relief once he finds her safe, if not (which doesn't happen a lot thankfully), well somebody gonna die and Beau tries to make it up to her by spending the next few days with her, just him and Carrie.

Beau tries to put being a good guardian/older brother before being a hero and tries his best to spend as much time with Carrie and Dev as possible on chiller/lower stakes days.

Beau had never had time to really process the feeling of losing his parents, there are days where he feels down but he never lets it show around his siblings or have it affect his hero work. There are nights where those memories keep him up, sometimes he'll cry but still try to smile thru the tears.

Beau likes to give peps talks to himself in the mirror, and pep talks to Dev, when he's feeling discouraged, although most of the time those pep talks don't really make any sense Dev still appreciate his brother's kind words.

Since Beau saves people, he interacts a lot with damsels in distress, he flirts with them, but usually gets rejected for coming across as too cheesy or cocky. He doesn't really mind it tho, he actually finds it funny, but when a lady actually flirts back he gets really flustered and has to leave immediately. Despite this Beau still tries to give Dev advice on talking to girls.

Beau still smokes and drinks because the stress of having to raise young siblings, dealing with trauma, and being a hero can be alot, but he still makes sure his siblings don't see him and he doesn't get too wasted.

Other than hero stuff, Hero! Beau enjoys reading comics, parkour, skateboarding, break dancing (which he incorporates in his fighting for some really cool finishers), practicing cool poses and phrases, playing video games with his little brother, and watching barbie movies with his little sisters (since Barbie reminds him of his mom).

Oof, I think that's all I got for now....

TL;DL Basically if this version of Beau is Sonic the original Beau is more like Shadow if that makes any sense.

[singofsolace]

Miranda Otto’s Filmography as seen through a specific lens

otherwise known as: I watched some of these things so you don’t have to. But more specifically, I want to share basic information about which of her films and tv series require trigger warnings. Honestly, I’ve never recovered from some of them (thinking about In Her Skin... but also Homeland... because what the actual fuck, Saul?)

This isn’t a complete list. It’s only 21 of over 60 credits Miranda has to her name, but I think these are probably some of her most famous roles. Please let me know what you think of these brief descriptions, and whether anything should be added or removed.

It should go without saying that there are spoilers below. Read at your own risk.

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina:  Zelda Spellman

A powerful role, but be aware Zelda is abused, raped (implied), and violently murdered (twice)

Downhill: Charlotte

I love this woman with all my heart, okay? Miranda Otto is supposed to be playing the most heterosexual woman ever, and instead manages to make every single scene gay as fuck.

The Silence: Kelly Andrews

Gets her leg mutilated (also it’s implied that she and Kiernan’s character would be made sex slaves by this random cult that shows up... which is super tasteful and not at all disgusting)

Annabelle: Creation: Esther Mullins

Face mutilated, eventually murdered (I think? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this one)

24: Legacy: Rebecca Ingram

Powerful woman kidnapped, tortured, and violently murdered

Homeland: Allison Carr

Powerful woman violently attacked by her former lover in full view of her coworkers. Riddled with bullets while she is curled in a trunk.

The Daughter: Charlotte

I’ve made a whole post about how I think Charlotte was raped by her employer, and that it therefore shouldn’t be framed as a sexy affair… but here we are.

I, Frankenstein: Leonore

Powerful woman kidnapped and used as a bargaining chip. I’ve also made a post about this one, and how Miranda Otto claims this part could have been played by a man, but the blatant sexism around the kidnap and ransom—making a woman who is the leader of warriors powerless to fight back against her attackers, and having her rescued in a way that frames her as a damsel in distress (complete with bridal carry)—makes me believe that Miss Otto doesn’t notice just how much sexism was written into the role.

Reaching for the Moon: Elizabeth Bishop

While as a whole, this movie is beautiful and wonderful and one of my all-time favorites, we need to still acknowledge that Lota and Elizabeth were in an incredibly toxic relationship—which I actually think is great representation, because abuse doesn’t just happen between a husband and a wife, or a boyfriend and a girlfriend, it can happen to anyone with any partner.

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries: Lydia Andrews

I unapologetically adore Miranda in this one. She is so convincing as the grieving widow that the plot twist caught me completely by surprise. This is perhaps the only role that I’ve seen Miranda play where a bad woman was brought to justice, but in a way that had absolutely nothing to do with her gender. Justice was neutral and exacted without prejudice, in this case.

In Her Skin: Mrs. Barber

This is one of the most upsetting and disturbing films I’ve ever seen. Miranda Otto is brilliant in it, but playing the role of a mother whose daughter went missing (and then was brutally murdered) definitely took its toll. I will never understand why the movie released an interview during which Miranda was clearly distraught. She breaks down into tears multiple times just trying to talk about this movie (which was a real-life murder case).

Cashmere Mafia (TV Series): Juliet Draper

Okay, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Juliet Draper. I would cherish her and dote on her for the rest of her life if she were my wife. But in the actual show, her husband is a serial cheater. When her friends find out about it, they don’t judge her broken marriage, but they do give her the courage she needs to leave him. They tell her she deserves more—and she does!! But in the final episode there is a pretty disturbing plot about a multi-millionaire who wants to buy not only her Hotel company but also her… which is exactly as bad as it sounds.

War of the Worlds: Mary Ann

Miranda Otto is heavily pregnant and glowing in a grand total of five minutes of this movie, but oh, what wonderful five minutes!!

The Lord of the Rings: Eowyn

This is the role for which Miranda is most famous. I have nothing bad to say about Eowyn, except that she ought to have been given more screen time, and that there shouldn’t have been that creepy plot about the King’s advisor or whoever wanting to have sex with her. It was incredibly unnecessary and frames Eowyn as a potential victim in the beginning, which was completely unnecessary in terms of character/plot development. 

Danny Deckchair: Glenda Lake

Glenda Lake is a precious cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure. Please for the love of Otto watch this film for baby Miranda in a sweet romantic comedy.

Julie Walking Home: Julie Makowsky

I don’t understand this film at all. It has one of the most absurd plots I’ve ever seen. Miranda’s husband/partner cheats on her and gets caught, and then he gets violent (in front of her children and multiple adult witnesses!!), and then their son gets cancer, and then she goes to Poland, and then a Healer tries to cure her son, and it works for a while, and eventually Julie (Miranda) has sex with the Healer, in order to teach him how to have sex? and then she gets pregnant by this man, and then her son’s cancer comes back, and then the Healer runs for the hills, and then her former partner takes her back so that they can all be a family again....?!?!?!?!

Human Nature: Gabrielle

This film made Miranda popular with a lot of creepy old men (okay maybe just Bruno Barreto based on this interview… (seriously I am so uncomfortable with the way he’s like… oh yes, I knew her from that film... and then later *places his hand on her bare knee/thigh* Lowell doesn’t give a shit about (Elizabeth/Miranda) being awkward! 

(the implication being that Lowell is only interested in getting Elizabeth into his bed...)

anyway… she plays a sexy French scientist, who isn’t actually French. There’s lots of lingerie, dancing, and kissing.

The Jack Bull (TV Movie) Cora Redding

Miranda Otto dies an incredibly violent death in period costume for no apparent reason besides generating male pain.

Dead Letter Office: Alice Walsh

Young!Miranda is so cute in this, but there’s a sort of ambiguously creepy older man-younger woman relationship… because Alice (Miranda) is looking for a father figure… and anyway I don’t remember this film well enough to comment more specifically, but I remember it being lovely except for the age difference between Alice and the guy in charge of the missing letters.

Doing Time for Patsy Cline: Patsy

I watched this purely for Miranda, and I do think it’s good, but only her part in it. Miranda plays the “busty bimbo with a heart” incredibly well. I remember being scared for her character, because her husband was a mean drunk/drug addict, but I don’t think any actual violence gets portrayed… but someone who has watched this more recently can correct me if I’m wrong.

Sex is a Four Letter Word

I only made it through half of this film before I turned it off. I wouldn’t watch it unless you’ve ingested/inhaled some substances and don’t mind people monologuing about their terrible sex experiences. 

...

Let me know if you’d like to know more about any of these films!

[blackbatpurplecat]

What do you think of Catwoman in the video games (Arkham City & Knight, Tell Tale, Injustice)? Which are you favorites and do you think TPTB would ever come out with a solo game of her's?

Yay, finally I get to say something NICE! XD Short answer: They’re (almost) all great! My absolute favorite is Catwoman in the Telltale games!

Very long answer incoming:

Lemme rank them from the one I like the least to the one I love the most. That’s probably the easiest way to answer this. There are many more games Catwoman is appearing in but they’re not really worth mentioning here.

3) Catwoman in Injustice 1+2

Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of Catwoman in those two but that’s no big surprise when the cast is bigger than the one in Avengers: Endgame. She’s fantastic in the tie-in comics but I can’t count those here.

So in part 1, she’s Bruce’s ex who ratted him out to protect him and after everything, she still wants to redeem herself and get back together with him. I liked her purple-gray costume (the weird steampunk one with the tail... not so much), I liked her voice-actress who also voiced her in the Arkham games, Grey DeLisle. I liked her cunningness, how she quickly figured out that Cyclops was a different Cyclops and made him blow his cover.

I understand that Selina would do something more selfish to protect the man she loves. She wanted Supes to spare Bruce and for that, accepted that many other people would die - BUT I will never understand WHY they wrote her arc like that. Why not write her as Bruce’s loyal partner and girlfriend? Why couldn’t she be on his side in the fight against Superman and the Regime? Even Harley and Luthor were! At least, they didn’t make her entirely evil, she did have good intensions but was misguided. And her ending had a feeling of hope in it.

Years later, she’s apparently reached her goal of redemption, found her way back to Bruce, and is now working as a double agent for the Insurgency. This time, she has more than only two scenes but we don’t learn much more about her, her relationship with Bruce, or her arc. You gotta read the comics for that... And again, not a huge fan of her costumes in this one but it’s cool that you can modify them to your liking. 

Her ending is the worst in this however. After what she’s been through with Bruce, after fighting with him, against him, redeeming herself, earning his trust again, and getting back to his side, she... just leaves him because she got bored. Wow. What fucking idiot wrote that?!

All in all, she’s a minor character in both games, her arc happens mostly off-screen, they don’t do anything new or outstanding with her but I enjoyed seeing her. Too bad, you can’t play as her.

2) Catwoman in the Arkham games

Now THAT’s more like it! ❤️Back then, I only bought Arkham City because you could play as Catwoman in it. I didn’t know much more about the game, I had never played its predecessor, I only wanted to play as Catwoman - and boy oh boy what a glorious purchase that turned out to be!

To this day, I still adore Arkham City, so much so that I bought it three times (CD + Steam + PS4). I can play it in my sleep! And it made me buy Asylum, Origins, Blackgate, and Knight, half of them were good and some also had Catwoman!

City - Her part in the game is a short side quest that’s not really connected to the main story: Catwoman wants to steal from Hugo Strange’s vault, convinces Ivy to help her break into it, then she leaves her loot behind to save Batman’s life, then tracks down Two-Face to get her stolen loot back, and after finishing him, retrieves her loot. She then decides to stay in Arkham City because it’s still dangerous there a.k.a. fun!

While it’s a shame that Catwoman and Batman only meet twice, they do save each other’s lives. The banter and flirting could certainly be better in this though. Her story isn’t anything new BUT it’s perfectly executed and it’s exactly what Catwoman’s like. She’s playful and seductive (they could have turned down her horniness about a few points - but you gotta please the fanboys *sigh*), she’s looking after herself, she only does what she wants (so she won’t return the plant to Ivy who had treated her so badly), but in the end, she does the right thing by saving Batman because she has a good heart.

While her side story felt tagged on, I really enjoyed it! I just love playing as her, beating up thugs, using the whip, and crawling on the ceilings. Also you get to wear the BTAS suit AND the purple Long Halloween suit! YAY!

Blackgate - It starts with Batman chasing Catwoman across the rooftops for the very first time, that’s just a fantastic intro! And I really liked their fight towards the ending for its very interesting execution. This time, Catwoman is not playable but both a suspicious ally who helps Batman with information and an enemy Batman has to defeat. Which I get because they’ve basically just met and don’t know each other yet.

The lack of trust is also the reason why Catwoman’s playing him like she is in the game. She figures him out rather quickly and cleverly uses his urge to save and protect others against him to get access to what she had been told to get from Blackgate. Manipulating Batman into helping her completing her mission is a real Catwoman-y move so the Arkham games continue the trend of “getting” her character. Well, except for having Catwoman lick herself like a cat.

Knight - Selina’s third and last appearance in the Arkham games. She’s kinda playable and she’s no enemy BUT she’s a damsel in distress... ... ... Okay, Knight, what do have for us?

Riddler, of all people, has captured Catwoman and uses her to play with Batman. Well, at least it proves that everyone knows about the relationship between the Bat and the Cat (yet Catwoman keeps saying they’re not close - oh honey, no one believes you). Selina’s wearing an explosive collar and Batsy has to find Riddler trophies and complete riddles (and for some fucking reason drive races!) to unlock the keys to set her free.

Catwoman’s kinda playable since you can’t explore the city with her but you can switch to her while you’re solving Riddler’s contraptions or fight his robots. The dual team feature in the game was magnificent in general. I would have loved to play more as her but at least, she’s not just sitting around waiting for Bruce to save her but is partaking in her own rescue.

The chemistry between Bruce and Selina is the best part of this Riddler mission. Neither fears nor takes Eddie seriously and especially Selina drops so many awesomely annoyed comments and jabs against him, but gets increasingly more worried. While we saw BatCat meet in Blackgate, in Knight they’ve known each other for years and it shows. There’s no other character in the game Batman talks to in the way he talks to Catwoman. It’s... casual, funny, flirty. Additionally, you can clearly hear his worry for her in his voice. In the end, Selina even comes back to help Batman with Riddler even though she didn’t have to - she wanted to! And offers more of her help, it’s so obvious how much he means to her.

I love Batman and Catwoman working together and flirting and bantering while fighting other Rogues but the only thing that’s holding this back from being perfect is the series’ idiotic insistence that Bruce is still mourning the al Ghul chick which we all know is bullshit. And Selina doesn’t know Batman’s identity?! Come on.

To sum it up, I really liked Catwoman’s attitude and portrayal in Knight but would have loved to have more of her in the game. What we got was passable enough to have fun with. Bonus points for the 90s Balent suit you can put her in!!! If only there was an Arkham game in which both characters were playable and constantly working together, now THAT would be my dream!

1) Catwoman in the Telltale games

Where do I start? The voice? The charm? The complexity? 

She’s not playable but that doesn’t make this game and her in it less perfect. We again meet a clever, confident, I-mostly-care-about-myself Selina who’s great at fighting and stealing and manipulating. She’s caught Harvey in her trap to get close to his buddy, rich boy Bruce Wayne. She instantly finds out that he’s Batman (same way he finds out that she’s Catwoman) and they form a rocky alliance which either blooms into something deeper or not, depending on your decisions.

The makers of the game understand her the way Rocksteady did but add a softer layer to her. She’s playful, seductive, and doesn’t take no shit from anyone and in episode 3 of the first season, we see a vulnerable Selina for the first time. A woman who doubts she could ever be more than a cat burglar. She does take pride in her skills and doesn’t apologise for what she does (she even says “you shouldn’t trust me”) but you notice that she’s longing for a connection, for someone who trusts and relies on her without weighing her down. 

I personally had the impression that she felt a bit honored that Batman would support her and have faith in her the way he did in my playthrough. It gave her a chance to prove to herself that she could do more, be more. And that it felt good to have someone she in turn could rely on and trust which proved to her that the world maybe wasn’t as bad as she’d thought, that she could let her guard down once in a while. There was also another side we don’t see often on her: She didn’t want to face Harvey at the hospital. Maybe due to cowardice, shame, you decide.

Her last scene in season 1 wasn’t the best, it was just her going back to her old ways, seemingly leaving behind her character development from previous episodes but she probably wasn’t at the point of staying and saving people yet. It was the usual move to save herself and telling herself that she’s a bad person who doesn’t have feelings for Bruce. Changing yourself isn’t hard, it’s not changing back to your old self that is, and I think that’s what happened there, she simply fell back into her old self. 

In season 2, she returns as the thief we all know and love. They didn’t change her, her actions and dialogue lines fit the character we met in season 1. This time, we also see her vengeful side as she’s trying to get revenge for her dead friend, Riddler, and she won’t let anyone get in her way, not even Bruce.

Later, she wants Bruce to tell her that he needs her and he can’t take down Harley and the rest without her, proving she wants to be needed and trusted as I’d mentioned before. Same goes for admitting that it means a lot to her that he lets her into his secret life. Season 2 shows us that everything from season 1 did leave an impact on her and her development is slowly moving forward. One lovely example is her being surprised by a hug in S1 and in S2, she hugs Bruce first.

To put lots of rambling briefly I LOOOVE Telltale’s Catwoman! She’s not just a cunning thief but a woman with feelings, hopes, fears, layers. I really hope we will get a third season someday, especially since we didn’t get any closure scenes with Selina, no matter which Joker we fought in the last S2 episode.

---

Now regarding her own game... She had one already with a 1999 Game Boy Color game. Nothing huge but I count it. Especially since she’s wearing her 90s suit in it. 😉

I would very much welcome a Catwoman game with her as the lead! An Arkham like game: open world Gotham, you get to meet many Rogues, you have to flee from Batman and/or fight his kiddies. Maybe you need to team up with Harley and Ivy, or with Batgirl! OR make it like a Lara Croft game with lots of breaking and entering, and stealing valuable artefacts.

Alas, I think the chances of getting a Catwoman game are very slim! DC are so focused on Batman and Superman, they won’t spend millions of dollars on the production of a game that’s... not starring at least one of those two. I mean there’s not even a Wonder Woman game so why would they make one starring Catwoman? A shame really.

[writingkeepsmewhole]

Back To Him

This is part 2 of Kitten the BDSM fic I’m starting. Let me know what yall think of it.

Fic Summery: Sophia has never known love, her always picking the “good guy” him always turning out to be like a snake in the weeds. What will happen when shes took home one night by a “bad guy” him showing her things she never knew about herself.

Part Summery:Sophia wakes up in the bunker not remembering much of the night before. Her surprised at the way Dean takes care of her. 

Warnings:Abuse and cheating mentioned maybe a word or two.

Let me know if you want to be tagged would love to add you: @vicmc624​ @deanwanddamons​ @that-one-gay-girl​

Part 1

I woke up with my head pounding. Opening my eyes I was in a room I didn’t recognize. It was simple, a twin bed, a desk in the corner along with a bookshelf that was empty. This room was clearly not used.

Sitting up the world spun around me making me close my eyes. Taking a deep breath I tried to remember what happened last night. I was fighting with Harry, my boyfriend but why? He cheated on me again.

Sighing I open my eyes seeing a cup of water and a bottle of painkillers on the bedside table. I take two pills, my ankle throbbing just as bad as my head.

Pushing myself up from the bed taking slow steps being off balance. Limping to the dark wood door I opened it seeing I was in a long hallway with other doors exactly like this one.

“Where the heck am I?” I ask limping down the hall, the sound of old rock music filling my ears.

I followed the sound, leading me to a home gym.

There were two men working out. Well one of them was running on a treadmill the other was doing pull ups.

I shake my head when I catch myself watching the way his shoulder blades move under his skin.

“Umm Hello.” I say loud enough they hear me over the music.

The man with the shorter hair drops himself to the floor and turns to face me. His face is familiar so I’m guessing he’s the one who brought me here.

Walking closer to me I take a step back making him stop. Lifting his hands to show me he is not a threat he bends over, picks up a small remote and turns off the music. The lack of noise making my ears ring.

The guy on the treadmill doesn't stop running, headphones in his ear telling me he most likely doesn't even know I’m here.

“You're awake.” Says the short haired one his voice a little winded from his workout.

“Yes.” I nod wrapping my arms around myself.

“Are you afraid of me?” He asks, talking a slow step toward me, like he was approaching a wild dog.

“Should I be?”

“No, you seem pretty relaxed so I’m guessing you remember last night.”

“Not really.” I say shaking my head.

Last night was a foggy blur.

“It’s not the first time Harry had someone kidnap me. Though I doubt he haired you for money.” I say looking at all the gym equipment.

“Harry?”

“My boyfriend.”

“The little prick who did that to you last night?” He asks pointing at the handprint mark on my elbow.

“That would be him.” I say letting out a sigh.

“You don’t seem like you mind.”

“It’s not that I like it. But I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“Sweetheart you could go anywhere you wanted. I could give you a place to stay till you get back on your feet.”

“Oh and what will your generosity cost me?”

Smirking his green eyes look up and down my body making my grip on myself tighten.

“Depends on what you agree to.” He says smiling.

“I don’t like riddles.” I say clenching my jaw.

“Let’s talk over breakfast.” He says taking a few long strides to reach me.

Up close and now sober I could see he was more rugged than I thought he was. His stubble was a bit longer than I thought it was, his eyes harder. They looked like they had seen one to many things. His nose was straight and his jawline reminded me of the way you would describe a man in a book.

He was wider than me, his shirtlessness let me see the muscles cut into his body. His arms and shoulders were the most impressive. The top of my head reached his collarbone making me have to lift my head to meet his eyes. Their emerald color is warm and inviting. I didn’t understand how someone could seem scary and safe at the same time but this man seemed to pull it off.

“What’s your name?” I ask, earning a grin, it boyish making me almost smile back.

“I’m Dean, well that’s what my friends call me.”

“Alright, I have a feeling you already know my name.”

“Yeah your Sophia.” He says, making my stomach flip.

I wrote it off as being hungry but I knew it was the way my name rolled off his tongue. I never knew my name could sound sexy till it came from his mouth.

“You wanna go eat now?” He asks, smiling gently.

“Lead the way.” I say moving out of the door frame to let him pass.

He smirks at me and moves into the hallway, leading me towards an open room. It reminded me of a library full of books and a large long table in the middle of the room.

“Are you normally quiet?” He asks from in front of me.

“Are you normally talkative?” I ask.

AS soon as the words come out of my mouth he stops and spins to face me. It happens so fast I barely have time to stop before I bump into him. I gulp when his eyes meet mine.

“Please don’t answer my question with a question. If I ask you something I expect an answer.” He said firmly but he wasn’t angry.

His bodylanuge and eyes told me that.

“I- I’m sorry.” I say not sure what to expect from this guy.

“Don’t be you didn’t know and now you do.” He says smiling and turning back around.

‘So this guy is nuts.’ I think as we start walking again.

“So are you normally quiet?”

“Yes, unless I have to talk. Harry hates me being shy.”

I could talk to a stranger with ease but knowing the person for some reason pushed me into my shell.

“I didn’t peg you as one for being shy.” He says as we walk into the kitchen.

It’s not what I’m expecting. It looks more like it was meant to feed a group of people and not just a normal household.

All the appliances were white and looked like they came from the forties or fifties. There was a table pushed up against the right wall that sat four people. But there was no way only four people lived here.

Dean looks at me then looks at the table.

“It’s just me and my brother here most of the time.” He says moving towards the fridge.

“Is that the other guy upstairs.”

“Yeah, that’s Sam he’ll be down here soon I’m sure. But we should have enough time to talk before he finishes his run.” He says glancing over at me.

“Sit.”

I move to the table and sit down earning a smile from him.

“So what do you like to eat?”

“Umm I’m not picky.” I say rubbing my arm goosebumps covering it.

“Good to know.” He says pulling eggs from the fridge.

“Can you explain what’s going on? I mean why are you being nice to me? Aren't you meant to be scaring me back into Harry’s arms?” 

“Is that what happened the last time he played for someone to kidnap you?”

“Yeah.” I say confused.

“Well lucky you I’ve never seen the prick before last night.”

“Then why am I here?” I asked, watching him move around the kitchen.

“I brought you home with me because I didn’t like the way he was treating you.”

“So you brought me to your house?”

“Yes. I did make sure you were okay with coming here first.” He says turning around to face me.

“So I can leave whenever I want to?”

“Yeah, you're free to go. I was hoping you would stay for breakfast first.”

“Umm alright.” I say nodding.

“Awesome.” He says smiling and turning back to the stove.

“So you really just brought me home because Harry was being mean to me?”

“Yeah I got a thing for damsels in distress I guess.” He says chuckling.

“Did we have sex?”

“No, we did sleep together though. You seemed pretty adamant on that.” He says making me blush.

“Sorry about that. I get pretty cuddly and touchy when I get drunk.”

“It was cute.” He says walking over to me and setting a glass of orange juice in front of me.

I look at it then back up at him.

“Would you rather have milk?” He asks.

“No thank you. It’s just orange juice is my favorite.” I say earning a smile.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He says going back to the stove.

“Spoiling her already I see.” Says a man with an accent.

I turn to see a short man dressed in a suit he grins at me and steps down the one step walking into the room like he owns it.

“Crowley your early.” Dean says putting eggs on two plates.

“Well when you get the chance to make a deal with a Winchester you better be.” He says his accent makes me smile. It Irish or was it Scottish I always got them confused.

“Sit down and eat, we'll talk after breakfast.” Dean says placing a plate in front of me. It is simple eggs bacon and toast but like I said I wasn’t picky.

“Very well.” Crowley says moving to sit across from me.

“Hello darling.” He says holding his hand out to me.

“Names Crowley and who might you be.”

“Sophia.” I say taking his hand.

Smiling he bends down and presses his lips to my knuckles making me blush.

“Crowley what are you doing here so early?” Asks the other guy from the gym. Sam I think Dean called him.

“You know Dean doesn't talk business before breakfast.” Sam says walking towards the coffee pot.

I say there watching as the three men seemed like it was perfectly normal to have a stranger among them.

Maybe it was maybe this was normal. Did Dean lie and about never seeing Harry before. Or did he sleep around a lot.

“Well you know I have a tight schedule with running Hell.” Crowley says talking to Sam.

I lift an eyebrow at his weird statement, my eyes looking over at Dean who sits next to me with a cup of black coffee and his own plate of food.

“It’s a dungeon he runs a few towns over.” Dean says nonchalantly.

“What?” I feel very lost and confused.

“Oh dear seems you picked a virgin.” Crowley says grinning wickedly at Dean.

“I’m not a-.” I stammer out unable to find the words.

“Crowley enough. She’s not mine, she is just someone I’m helping out. Even if she was, that would be my business.”

“Yes, yes, of course.”

“Eat.” Dean says turning to look at me. He smiles sweetly but his eyes held anoiance I’m guessing because of this Crowley fellow.

I nod and slowly start eating the room slipping into silence as we all stop talking.

“Good your down eating can we talk now?” Crowley says impatiently the moment Dean swallows his last bite.

“No, I’m taking Sophia home. You can wait till I get back or talk to Sam about your problem.” Dean says making me gulp.

I was gonna have to ride home with him? He seemed angry all of a sudden.

“Come on. Let's go.” He says touching my shoulder.

I stand up wondering who's going to clean up my mess as Dean leads me out of the kitchen. His hand lightly placed in the middle of my back he leads me down the hallways and into a garage.

“I puked in here.” I say the memory coming back to me as we approach his car.

“You did.” He says surprising me by holding the door open for me.

‘You mean men still do that?’ I think as I tell him thank you and get inside.

He walks around the car and gets behind the wheel.

We don’t talk until we are one the road heading towards town.

“Can you tell me what that was all about?” I ask looking at him.

“Not really, it’s...sensitive information.”

“No, not about whatever deal you have with that guy I mean about the other...stuff.” I say blushing.

“Oh you mean about Hell?”

“Yeah that.”

“It’s just a BDSM dungeon.”

“BDSM? You mean like chains and whips and stuff.” I say moving my hand like I was using a whip.

He chuckles and nods his head.

“So you've been to one?”

“No!” I say quickly my face red.

His face falls slightly and he turns to look at me for a moment.

“But you've heard of them?” 

“Yeah in like creepy movies and stuff.”

Chuckling he shakes his head, running his hand over his face.

“I guess Crowley was right after all.”

“I’m not a virgin.” I say my face hot at the word.

Me and Harry has had sex a few times it was always quick and rough and I never seen the point in it. I don’t know who people acted like he was this amazing thing. I never found that pleasure people talk about.

“Maybe not but you aren't experienced.”

“How do you know?” I ask, offended and embarrassed for some reason.

Looking over at me he looks me up and down making me wrap my arms around myself.

“Because sweetheart you blush when I look at you. You may have had sex but it hasn’t been with a lot of guys. My guess it’s only been with that prick you are with now and my other guess is he’s not any good at it.”

“Oh and you are?”

“Haven’t gotten any complaints.” He says smirking.

“Every man says that.”

“Maybe but I’m not lying.” He says looking at me his green eyes raking up my body.

I blush at the heat that’s pooling in my stomach.

“Look sweetheart, I’m not trying to talk you into anything. I’m not even offering you anything. You needed help last night so I gave it to you. If you want to go home I’ll take you there. If you want to stay at my place for a day or two till you figure things out I’ll let you. I’m a bad guy but I’m not a dick. The ball is in your court, you pick what you want to do with it.”

“Why would you help me? What do you get out of it?” I ask ignoring the bad guy comment for now. He was most likely just playing himself up.

“Nothing, I’m not expecting nothing from you because you are someone that needs a friend.”

“And you want to be my friend?”

“From what I know about you so far I might even want to be more.”

“What does that mean? I have a boyfriend.”

“I know, well he’s not much of one. As for what that means you don’t have to worry about that because you are going to go back to him.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Why would you? He’s a son of bitch that needs his head knocked through a wall. The world is fucked up enough without him adding more pain to it.”

“He’s not that bad.” I say wrapping my arms around myself and looking out of the window.

We were already on the interstate heading towards my side of town.

“If you say so.” Dean says nodding his grip around the wheel tight.

“You don’t know me, Dean. I’m… You don’t owe me anything. I don’t know why you took me home in the first place. I’m not special.”

“Is that what he tells you? I bet he tells you all kinds of other things too right? Makes you feel like you're lower than dirt. I don’t get why you would want to go back to him.”

“Where else would I go? My parents died when I was thirteen I was in and out of homes till the state told me I was old enough to live alone. I was on the streets with a high school education and no knowledge of the real world. Harry kept me from prostituting myself or worse. Yeah he’s not the nicest person but I don’t have anyone to go to.”

Dean nods his jaw clenched. Slowing down he gets off the interstate then pulls over on the side of the road.

Turning off the car he turns to face me.

“Answer me this one thing and I’ll leave you be. If you had the option to leave would you?” He says making my gut fill with knots.

I shrug and look away from him.

“Look at me.” He says his voice, somehow making me do as he asked.

“I’m offering you a way out. I won’t ask for sex or whatever it is you are scared I’ll want as payment. I’ll help you get your things and give you a hotel room until you figure it out.”

“A hotel room? You wouldn't make me stay with you?”

“Only me and Sam stay there.”

“You two don’t have girlfriends?”

“No, both me and Sam aren't like normal people. Girlfriends are not an option in our lives.”

“Are you gay?” I ask, lifting an eyebrow.

Chuckling he shakes his head. 

“No, work is just.. Complicated.”

“Oh.” I say nodding not knowing what to say.

“So what will it be Miss Sophia? Am I helping you get your things or am I leaving your life for good?”

I shrug and shake my head this too hard of a question to answer. How could I go with a stranger over a man I’ve known for years.

Dean nods as if he knows what my answer already is.

“I’ll take you home.” He says starting the car once again.

He does just that once I tell him it’s right across from the club. He pulls into the parking lot of my apartment but doesn't look at me.

“Thank you, for everything.” I say wondering why there was a weight on my chest.

He nods his eyes set dead ahead.

“I- Umm.”

“Please get out, I have a meeting to get to.” He says calmly it is deathly calm.

I nod and get out of the car watching as he backs up and drives away from me. I bit my lip hoping it’s not for good.

[vmheadquarters]

We’re still playing our game of written hot potato! Dozens of your favorite authors are taking turns to tell a Veronica Mars mystery story. Each writer crafts their chapter and then “tosses” the story to the next person to continue the tale. No one knows what will happen, so expect the unexpected!

Follow the “vmhq presents” and “murder we wrote” tags for all the installments, or read the story as it develops on AO3. --Chapter Twenty-One of MURDER, WE WROTE is written by @DRiver2u. And stayed tuned next week for Ch.22 from @amypc1​ - tag, you’re it!

—————————————————————————————————— CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE by @DRiver2u

The noise in the room was a low pulse of small groups talking among themselves. The conversations were not enthusiastic or lighthearted, but the former classmates were speaking just to have something to do. Whenever the din let up, someone new took over with a tale from the exploits of high school past. No one wanted to admit that, now they had eaten, there was time to start exploring the mansion for a murderer.

Hovering off to the side, as she so often did in social situations, Veronica's thoughts were exploding as quickly as she felt her ankle swelling. Her injury didn't hurt as much as she thought it should, and she wondered if she was in shock, rather than having an actual physical ailment. She plotted about how to move to another part of the house, so she could test the theories running through her brain. The crowded space in her mind needed an escape, and if she was being honest with herself, it wasn't the only part of her that needed a release.

She caught Logan's eye as he looked up from the drone of Casey's story, and she gave a quick tip of her head towards the direction of the kitchen. "Meet me there," she mouthed from across the room as she pointed with her pinky finger. She assessed her wonky situation and dropped her elevated foot, rolled to her stomach, and one-legged-downward-facing-dog walked herself to a standing position. For a moment, she steadied herself, using one flat foot and the tips of her toes on the other before trying her balance. She hobbled on her bad ankle and made a comment under her breath, just loud enough for the scrum of former classmates in the middle of the room to hear her complain.

"You rang," Logan quipped, as he turned to see her push through the kitchen door. "Or muttered, I guess would be more accurate." He watched as she moved from limping to balancing herself on the kitchen counter, and then doing a half-twisting boost onto the island. The gymnastics of the moves were worthy of more than a participation certificate. Logan studied her as she forced out a sigh and regained her composure. His mind filled with other uses for those skills. "Your powers never cease to amaze."

"I need some ice for my ankle, but I've been thinking, and I might want to reconsider something," Veronica cooed as her finger made its way between her teeth. Before Logan could head towards the freezer, she commanded, "Come closer."

Logan advanced and slid between her dangling legs. Veronica's citrus shampoo, the acid from the tomato ragu, and the yeast from a green bottle of Heineken left near the Belfast sink sent mixed signals to his brain. This wasn't the time or the place, what with the dead bodies, secret passages, and unknown assailants only a few feet from what he hoped would be their suction-cupped bodies, but he couldn't stop the fantasies entering his brain. Veronica stared into his eyes, hoping he would be able to read her mind. The drip of the faucet and the hiss of the radiator under the stained glass windows broke their silence.

As Logan leaned in to kiss the blonde in front of him, he felt the cool thickness of the marble countertop as it hit him just below his waistband. His mouth hovered near her lips, but he turned his head and teased her with the breeze that swept by her mouth. She grabbed the back of his neck demanding to be closer to him, to touch his sweetness. He was stronger than her, and pulled back, watching as her eyes slid shut. As his hands wrapped around her waist and his thumbs pushed into her hips, she let out a small whimper and her breathing quickened.

It was the panting and the moaning that made him pull her closer. He wanted this, she wanted this, but they had made a deal to slow things down this time. He could wait. Could he wait? Anticipation was a hell of an aphrodisiac.

When he finally kissed her, would she taste like roasted garlic, red wine, dried Parmesan cheese, or chocolate mousse? Whatever was left of their dinner would be lost as his mind cleared of all but the softness of her lips. Logan gazed into Veronica's eyes before kissing her wordlessly. Only seconds later, Veronica released her hands from his hair and scrambled to tug his thermal base layer from the waist of his trousers and ran her hands towards his brawny chest, feeling multiple indentations as her fingers spread.

"We need to reconsider that we may have only two days left to live, so three dates seems too long to wait to get naked," she said, at a much higher volume than Logan found desirable. He tilted his head as he tried to shake the noise and vibration out of his eardrum.

"I think you're out of practice on the whispering of sweet nothings," Logan grumbled. "The key to that phrase being 'whispering', sugarpuss."

Veronica reached up and took his face in her hands, then bent the side of his head towards her mouth. "We're being watched, right?" Logan nodded his head and wondered if this new taste for voyeurism would be part of their future escapades. He swallowed at the thought and caught himself breathing harder than only a few seconds ago. Veronica continued her train of thought in his ear. "Let's find out if this is really about us. They're watching, so if they see us, uh you know, all hot and heavy, they may try to break in and stop it."

Logan dropped his head, realizing this was nothing more than part of the game, part of her desire to solve this riddle. "I don't know if I feel like a mark, the bait, or a damsel in distress." He swallowed and took a deep breath.

Veronica kissed him softly and met his eyes. She didn't need words to explain to him that her brain was working overtime. It wasn't desire he had seen in her eyes when they started this rendezvous. But it was passion--just not the kind of passion he was hoping to experience.

"Enid Curtis," Veronica whispered again and gave him a mischievous smile before returning to his ear. "How many people do you know who are named Enid? Not one, I bet. Enid Curtis and Mason. Flip them letters around and what'd ya get? DIES UNROMANTICS." She gave him a quick kiss at his temple, but she wanted to give him a high five.

Logan chuckled before bending his head and raising his eyes to meet hers. "A bit of a grammar cock up, wouldn't you say?" He paused and tilted his head until his mouth met her ear, his hands continued to meander under her shirt. "If you're going to slip down the Enid path, it seems impossible not to bring up Tennyson. You should know to leave the English stuff to me."

Veronica inched away from him and stared at Logan. "So, you think there's a book on one of the shelves by Alfred, Lord Tennyson that'll help solve this riddle?" she asked in a low voice.

"Well, I'm more of a Keats guy myself, but it's tough not to respect a guy who came up with the lines, and I'm paraphrasing here, 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' and 'Theirs is not to reason why. Theirs is but to do and die'." Logan turned the words over in his mind. Loss and death weren't nearly as appealing to him as Keats' haunting words about beauty, joy, love, and truth.

"Yeah, it's the 'do and die' part that makes me a bit worried," Veronica chided. "And what's that got to do with Enid?"

"I'm saying that Tennyson wrote Idylls of the King. In it is a poem about the perfect love Enid has for her husband." Veronica stared blankly at him before he continued. "He gets jealous, but she stays faithful. He thinks she cheated, but she stays faithful. He treats her like dirt, but she stays faithful. Seeing a pattern?"

"So Enid is perfect?" Veronica asked with a sly smile.

"It used to be a real compliment for a woman to be referred to as an 'Enid'," Logan remembered from a group project about Victorian poets. Who knew those trivialities might one day prove to be important?

Logan continued after a small pause, clearing his throat. "Oh, and Tennyson influenced the Pre-Raphaelite artists with his sumptuous verses. God, they painted some majestic stuff. Dead women, lots of flowing hair, unrequited love. Come to think of it, one was even of Enid, I think." He smiled at the idea of his mother and said, "First ones I saw were at Andrew Lloyd Webber's estate, because my mom dragged me there when she was desperate to get a part in a possible West End Cats revival."

"Keats, Tennyson, and Raffi," Veronica scrambled, only half listening to the other voice in the room. "I don't see the connection. Unless someone thinks I'm the perfect mate?" Veronica's mind danced with the knowledge that she may have an admirer rather than a stalker. She heard Logan snicker and watched as he shook his head.

"Raphaelites, bobcat, but who am I to doubt the perfect bit," he mocked with a chuckle. "Maybe Enid and Tennyson mean nothing. Maybe you were on the right track with the scrambled letters. Or maybe this mysterious host is telling you to ask others for help with this riddle. 'There's no I in team', 'It takes teamwork to make the dream work', 'Collaborate before we evaporate'. Etcetera, etcetera."

Veronica squinted at him, but only grunted out a, "Huh?"

"OK, maybe I made some of those up," Logan laughed. "But we're all here for a reason, and I don't think it's just to be dead bodies, cute faces, or red herrings." They both stayed quiet a moment and realized their musings had blown their cover. Their so-called tryst had turned into a book club.

"Ice," Veronica directed, and Logan grabbed the hand towel near the stove as he sauntered towards the industrial-sized refrigerator. "But now what?"

"Lead on, perfect Enid," he quipped. He took a deep breath as he felt Veronica going back into her brain. "OK. If you want to stick with rearranging letters, we can do that, but I prefer NUDES IS ROMANTIC."

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

Baby You Were My Picket Fence [Chapter 4: Dream On]

You are a first grade teacher in sunny Los Angeles, California. Ben Hardy is the father of your most challenging student. Things quickly get complicated in this unconventional love story.  

Song inspiration: Miss Missing You by Fall Out Boy.

Chapter warnings: Language, menstruation, sexually suggestive language.

Link to chapter list (and all my writing) HERE

Taglist: @blushingwueen @queen-turtle-boiii @everybodyplaythegame @onceuponadetectivedemigod @luvborhap @sincereleygmg @stormtrprinstilettos @loveandbeloved29 @ohtheseboysilove @jennyggggrrr @vanitysfairr @bramblesforbreakfast @radiob-l-a-hblah @xox-talia-xox @killer-queen-xo @caborhapch @kimmietea @asquiresofftime @hardzzellos @sleepretreat @ramibaby @jonesyaddiction

Your iPhone vibrates on the coffee table, buzzing lazily in a circle between the beading glass of ice water and the bottle of extra-strength ibuprofen. You reach out from under the heap of blankets and pick it up. The display screen reads: Ben Hardy.

You answer with a weak voice: “Hello?”

“Hey. I just dropped Eli off at school and I heard him and the other kids cheering that they had a substitute.”

“Ugh, they were cheering?” Evil children.

“I wouldn’t take it personally. The sub looked about two hundred years old and had candy. What’s up? Are you sick?”

“Uh...yeah.” What you actually are is a tad anemic, riddled with cramps, and narrowly staving off a splitting headache; but sick is close enough. You’re wearing leggings and a far-too-large Van Halen t-shirt, your hair pulled away from your face. Good Morning America is on tv. The hosts are learning how to cook some kind of garlic salmon pasta which is positively nauseating.

“Can I come over?” Ben asks.

“What?” You panic, sitting up on the couch, peering around the living room. It’s littered with school papers, empty Cadbury chocolate wrappers, books, hastily kicked-off shoes, gossip magazines. There are opened packages of tampons and pads strewn across the kitchen counter. Oh this is bad. 

“I’m uncharacteristically free this morning. Are you contagious or something?”

“No, no, it’s not that,” you begin. “I’m not...uh...I’m just not very attractive at the moment.”

“That sounds unlikely.”

You titter nervously. “No, but actually, I’m a mess.”

“Okay, fine, I won’t come over.” There are a few beats of silence. “Can I please come over?”

“Oh my god, Mr. Hardy.”

“Ben.” He’s smiling; you can tell from his voice.

“Ben. Right. Ben, you are the worst.”

“You have no idea.” And now he sounds just a touch too serious. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s a...lady thing.”

“Ohhh,” he says. “Gotcha.”

“Yeah,” you respond awkwardly.

“I am zero percent disturbed by that, just so you’re aware.”

You sigh; you can feel your headache roaring back to life. “Okay Ben, you win, come over. But just be prepared, I’m super unappealing and boring and—”

“On my way.” He hangs up.

You stare at your phone, mystified. “You are a very strange person, Mr. Hardy,” you murmur. Then you text Sasha: Daddy demon is coming over????

She replies in two minutes. Whaaaaa why?!

And then: Kinky period sex?? I feel like demons would be into that.

NOOOO, you respond.

As you climb off the couch, down another ibuprofen, unlock the front door, and start to straighten up the worst of the clutter, your phone vibrates again. Sasha says: Wait this is so adorable he wants to take care of you, omfg this is cute af, I’m dead.

You roll your eyes and don’t reply; Sasha’s first class should have started by now anyway. You stow the tampons and pads under the bathroom sink, shove your shoes into the closet, and toss out all the trash you can get your hands on before the room starts spinning and you’re forced to retire back to the couch like some flimsy Victorian maiden. You drape your arm over your eyes and exhale dramatically. “Forsooth, I am a damsel in distress,” you whisper to yourself, smiling. Just a few moments later, there’s a knock at the door.

“Come in,” you call.

Ben enters, a little hesitantly, stepping lightly over the kitchen floor. “Hi,” he says as he leans against the living room doorframe. He’s dressed in black sweatpants and an ill-fitting striped hoodie; his hair is fluffy and chaotic.

“Are we...having a pajama party...?”

“Well,” he explains, “I figured you’d be in casual attire and I didn’t want to make you feel underdressed so I tried to out-casual you.”

“It worked, you look homeless.”

“You caught me. That’s why I wanted to come over. I have no house.”

“By all means, my couch is your couch.”

He flops down on the opposite end of the couch, then glances over at you. You’ve tucked your knees to your chest to give him space to sit. “Oh no, unacceptable.” He grabs your ankles and lays your feet across his lap. “You good?”

“Yeah,” you answer, smiling shyly.

Your phone buzzes on the coffee table and Ben grabs it before you can. “How is the kinky sex with daddy demon going?” he reads aloud, to your horror. “Wait, hold up, I’m daddy demon?!”

“Oh my goddddd.” You cover your face with your hands. This can’t be happening.

“Because my kid is baby demon.” He could be offended, he could be livid, but he’s not; he’s grinning so widely you can see the tiny points of his canine teeth.

“This is so unprofessional, please forget you saw that, I’m so sorry, this is why I’m not supposed to date parents.”

“Wow wow wow.” His eyes scan the text again. “Since we’re already being unprofessional, should we address the kinky sex bit...?”

“No,” you beg. “No, we definitely should not.”

“Okay.” He drops the subject instantly and passes you your phone, then points at the tv. “What are we watching?”

“Well, we were watching Good Morning America, but now we’re going to find something better.” You pluck the remote off the table and flip through a few channels. “WAIT, I know what we’re going to watch!”

“What?” he asks reticently, reading your crafty expression.

“Bohemian Rhapsody.”

“No,” he breathes, petrified. “No, I definitely cannot watch you watch my acting.”

“You’re pretty humble for a demon,” you tease, clicking buttons on your smart tv remote until you’ve brought up the movie on Google Play.

“Y/N,” he moans.

Then you say seriously: “If you really don’t want to watch it now, we don’t have to.”

“No,” he relents. “I’ll live, let’s do it. But don’t buy it, don’t spend your own money.”

“I want to buy it,” you insist. “I want to support your art.”

“Babe, your salary is public knowledge.” He called me babe, Ben Hardy called me babe.

You click madly before he can stop you. “I want to support your art!”

He tries to wrestle the remote from your grasp. “For fucks sake, I have a digital copy, just let me sign in—!”

“Ow!” you cry, clutching your lower abdomen. Ben immediately backs away, retreating to his half of the couch.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, did I hurt you, are you okay...?”

You laugh triumphantly and purchase Bohemian Rhapsody. As it loads, you grin at Ben. “Gotcha.”

He shakes his head in awe. “You are...also a demon.”

“I’m sorry,” you say earnestly. You feel a sudden and strangely intense guilt; you never want to deceive him, you never want to fake anything with him. This is going to be so much more than a fling. “I am actually sick.”

“Yeah, I know. I can tell. You’re all pale and droopy-looking. Your eyes are glazed.” He reaches over and feels your forehead, then your cheeks with the back of his hand. You’re too astonished to move. You realize that you’ve never kissed him, never even been held by him; not yet, anyway. But everything he does is flawlessly intimate, tender, perfection. The words blaze through your foggy mind like fireworks on the Fourth of July: I love him. “Okay,” he says finally. “Let’s introduce you to BoRhap.”

“Okay.” This is too soon, this is way too soon, I don’t even know this guy. But now you can’t imagine a life without him in it.

“I have to tell you something first.”

I knew this was insanely too good to be true. “Go ahead.”

He locks eyes with you, fearful somehow, maybe even wounded. “I’ve never felt this way before,” he says softly. “About anyone.”

“Oh,” you whisper, all the words knocked out of you like china off the top shelf. The world is moving in slow motion; the house is silent except for your pounding heartbeat. Then the walls start whirling like a carousel. “Oh no.” You fan your face with your hands; you can feel blood pooling in your cheeks like wildfire. Your stomach is in freefall, you’re breaking out in a cold sweat.

Ben’s jaw drops open. “Are you...short-circuiting...?”

“It’s not you, it’s me, I get faint if I overexert myself during my period, oh fuck.” You wave your hands frantically. “No no no no no.”

Ben snatches a People magazine off the coffee table and starts fanning you like you’re Cleopatra. “Don’t pass out!” he commands.

You laugh wildly as he leans over you, wafting cool air into your face. “This is the most ridiculous not-date I’ve ever been on.”

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah, I’m okay now.” You wipe your eyes and turn to him. “Ben...”

“We can just forget about what I said, I don’t want to kill you or anything—”

“I feel the same way,” you tell him quietly. And it’s true: maybe you’ve had crushes before, maybe you’ve even been in love before. But all of those things before were nothing like Ben.

Slowly, like rays of sunlight peeking over the horizon at dawn, his face breaks into a smile. And he doesn’t say a word; but as the movie rolls he slowly migrates over to your side of the couch, and before long his arms are wrapped around your waist, and then his chin is nestled in the dip of your collarbone, and then his warmth is radiating through you like embers cracking in a firepit. Your cramps have vanished, and your headache is just a shadow beneath the waves, and you’re breathing in his myriad of scents: laundry detergent and cologne and mint gum and something else you can’t quite place, something heavy and dark like smoke.

Whenever there’s a close-up shot of Ben’s face, he covers his own eyes and groans bashfully; but when his costars are on the screen he can’t help telling you stories about how Rami learned to move like Freddie Mercury, how Gwilym transformed completely into Brian May, how Joe had to endure a perm for months after shooting wrapped. You’re entranced, not just by the movie, not just by the music, but by the love that emanates from all of it: love between the real-life Queen, between the actors, between the friends who became family.

“I love it,” you murmur as the credits materialize from the blackness. “I love it. I want to know all the stories, I want to know everything about what you do, who you work with.”

“Do you want to meet them?”

“Who, the BoRhap cast?!” You’re clapping your palms together, gasping, starstruck. “Yes, yes, absolutely! Can I do that?!”

“You totally can. We’re getting together next Thursday. You in?”

“That’s a school night,” you observe tentatively.

“Fine then, Miss Y/L/N, stay home and grade addition problems.”

You shove his firm, muscled arms away from you playfully. “I’ll make it work, Mr. Hardy. Which reminds me...there’s something I wanted to show you.” You lumber off the couch and start shuffling through a pile of worksheets stacked on your plushy teal lounge chair.

“Don’t wear yourself out.” Ben’s trying to sound casual, but his voice is just gentle enough to betray concern.

You find the paper you’re searching for and bring it back to the couch. “The assignment was for the students to describe their perfect day, the best day they could possibly think of. This is what Eli turned in.” You hold the worksheet out to Ben, and he takes it.

“My Best Day,” he reads the heading, charmed. Then his eyes skim down to Eli’s muddled handwriting; the letters are crooked, the pencil marks slightly smudged in spots. “My best day is with my Dad. My Dad is the funnest, best Dad in the world. We would go to the park and pool and get ice cream and In-N-Out Burger. I love him.” Below that is a crayon sketch of Ben and Eli—two stick figures, one blond and one brunette, with matching blue swim trunks—holding melting ice cream cones under a fiery orange sun. Ben gazes unfocusedly at the paper, wordless now.

“What do you think of that?” you ask with a smile. “I still need to write comments and slap on my dinosaur stickers and return them to the kids, but I thought you’d like to see it first.”

Ben nods, and only then do you realize that his emerald eyes are welling up, slick like morning dew on arched blades of grass.

“Ben...” You reach for him, your fingers closing around his shoulder. “I’m sure it hasn’t always been easy for you, for either of you. But you’ve done a great job. Eli’s a challenge, sure, but he’s a brilliant kid. And he idolizes you.”

“Yeah,” Ben says, and then stands abruptly, handing the worksheet back to you. You feel his absence like a crevice in the earth, like gravity falling out from under your feet. “I’m sorry, I have to take care of a few things before I pick Eli up from school, I gotta get going.”

“Okay, sure,” you agree uncertainly.

“Are you...will you be okay here on your own?”

“I was doing just peachy before you dropped in, Mr. Hardy.”

“Right.” He smiles distractedly and kisses your forehead before he hurries off into the kitchen. You hear him rustle around in there for a while, for longer than it should take to grab his wallet and keys.

“Are you leaving me more surreptitious fridge magnet messages?”

“Maybe,” he replies cryptically. “Okay, I’m off. I’ll call you. Don’t forget: next Thursday night. Don’t fill up your schedule with any other not-dates with friendly neighborhood demons.”

“You got it.”

And then he’s gone. You try not to get your hopes up; you take a bathroom break, finish your water, and find a Lord of the Rings marathon on tv before you venture out into the kitchen for what you swear to yourself is just a trip for iced tea.

The refrigerator magnets spell out three words: I love you. 

[nad-zeta]

Matchup Request ^_^

rsI have no idea how this submission thingy works but hey! Gonna give it a try. XD If you’re closed no worries, been enjoying the ones you’ve made! They’ve made me smile when I wasn’t sure I had one. Before I lose my nerve for the fifth time... I’m an extroverted introvert, can fake it and even enjoy large groups for a short time but it’s hard-wearing that mask for long. Love detailed talks about mutual passions and figuring out why things or people work the way they do. INFJ, adventures are ftw. Empathetic and easily emotional, but I’ll try to hide it if at all possible. Tend to take people at their word, learning to trust my gut when something seems off. Learned to play the cute card cause everyone assumes I’m ten years younger than I am (26) and make them smile, whatever I’m feeling. Realistic optimist, nothing lasts forever but I’ll do everything in my ability to help make things better for those I care about.

Awww thanx so much for the request @briars7​ ! I’m so happy I could brighten your day in some way! I hope you enjoy the matchup and have a super good day! 

So, I match you with……………………. Mitsuhide

So, you were by no means a shy quiet person when you first started working at Azuchi castle, however, you did take a few days to yourself to watch. To watch the castle and its people, to determine the roles and duties of each person. To watch the workings and how their role did or didn’t contribute. One particular person caught your eye. Mitsuhide. He was a mystery, a riddle wrapped in itself. By watching you could tell that he worked from the shadows, he was an information gatherer, and he would get the information he needed by any means necessary. You also saw the big bad wold façade he put up. How he would purposefully start rumors to make himself guilty of some fake crime, just so he could gain the trust of the enemies, too, later on, reveal his true loyalties to the Oda forces and extinguish the threat. It was funny you could always see the exact moment he spread the rumor to one of the more chatty maids and how she would make sure it trickled its way through the grapevine. In some strange way, you thought him a guardian angel. Working behind the scenes protecting all those from danger unknown to them. Oh, and trust me when I say as much as you watched Mitsuhide, Mitsuhide watched you. He watched you as you watched the people, he watched you chart down everyone’s roles, and boy did he love to watch the ways your eyes lit up when you had finally figured out how something work or figured a particularly tricky person *cough Hideyoshi cough*. He still low key thought you might be a threat no matter how cute and small you looked. That was, of course, until you started implementing what you had learned to improve the runnings of the castle. Mitsuhide couldn’t help but admire how smooth everything had been running since you implemented all your little changes. He finally understood why you were watching and making notes. You were definitely an amusing little mouse and having you around was going to be a ton of fun

You worked hard for the castle and its people, and this gained a lot of trust among all the warlord. You in your time here had become particularly fond of Mitsuhide and the little playful chats the two of you would engage in. You couldn’t help but come to like his mischievous smile and look in his eyes whenever he would tease you. And this sneki boi didn’t think he would love the fact that someone was constantly on his side backing him up, that is until you came along. Your weeks of watching allowed you to have both an outside and inside perspective of everyone here. Mitsuhide certainly loved it when you would scold the castle mother himself whenever he would start accusing Mitsu of being a traitor. You would always look Hideyoshi straight in the eyes, and truth bomb him. Like if your gut trusts the sneki boi than you trust the sneki boi. Although lately, it seems your gut might be a bit faulty, especially when it comes to Mitsuhide. Cause it’s your very gut that gets filled with thousands of butterflies whenever the golden orbs of the Kitsune stare at you. 

When Mitsu heard the little mouse liked going on adventures, he started taking you along with him on missions. Even though most of the trip consisted of him working. But when he wasn’t working, and the two of you spent time together, it was bliss. He would take you to different markets and tell you all about the local products. He would take you to hot springs to relax and unwind after a hard week’s work. The two of you would eat dinner together every night and thereafter, take a walk around, take in the sights and let the food digest. He would always tease you by calling you “little one” or “little girl” until one day you challenged him on it, “why is it that you keep calling me little girl when I most definitely am not one.” “Because my dear you are the smallest cutest little girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” you narrowed your eyes and replied, “you know I’m 26 right.” Cue Mitsuhide actually being hella shocked for the first time. He thought you to be at least be 19. The shook expression on his face was enough to send you into a fit of laughter. Once he regained his composure, all he could do to soothe his own embarrassment was pat your head and say, “well then little one it seems you naivety and innocence has kept you young at heart”. All you could do was beam up at him, grab his hand, and continue on your walk. The two of you had low key fallen in love somewhere on your many trips away together, although none of you was brave enough to say anything.

On one of your adventures, the two of you were kidnaped and thrown into the dungeon to await death. Mitsuhide looked over at you expecting a frighten little mouse; instead, he was pleasantly surprised to see you were not freaking out but rather thinking of ways to escape. ‘Little mouse aren’t you even in the slightest afraid of the fate which awaits us outside of these cell doors.” You just grinned at him; you knew this sneaky Kitsune must have some or other rescue plan, and even if he didn’t, you remained optimistic. You actually came up with a pretty good plan yourself and told him to be ready to fight at your signal. Mitsu was intrigued and excited to see what kind of plan your sweet innocent mind came up with to free the two of you. When the guard with your cell key walked past your cell, it was time to put your plan in action. You played your cutesy damsel in distress card, which to both your and Mitsu’s surprise worked. He opened the cell door to let only you free when u signaled Mitsu to knock him out. Just as the two of you were running out the dungeon hand in hand, Mitsu couldn’t help but whisper how much he loved you under his breath. Of course, you heard him, and when you were safe and sound you returned the feelings and started your relationship off with the sweetest kiss

There was a banquet on your return to celebrate your daring escape. You chatted with everyone and was having a really good time. Although halfway through the evening, you started to get a bit tired, your social mask was busy slipping a bit. This, of

course, didn’t go unknown by the sneaky Kitsune. He waved you over to come and pour for him providing you with the perfect opportunity to fully drop your mask and just relax. He was like your safe haven. He pulled you down to sit right beside him as he poured you some sake and gave you a plate of food to eat, cause he had noticed that you were so busy socializing you didn’t even have the time to eat. You loved just sitting with him, chatting about everything and anything. You loved that you could have deep, detailed conversations with him. You most definitely loved the way he would hold your hand and gently massage soothing circle on the top of it while attentively listing to your every word. Sometimes you would drink a lil too much cause let be real no one can keep up with Mitsu when it comes to alcohol. You would just lean your head into the crook of his neck and fall asleep the gentle way he would be pulling his fingers through your hair.

This boi loves your empathetic and emotional side! And boy does he love to tease you. Sometimes his teases might go a little too far, and you get a bit emotional, which naturally you try to hide. But honestly, you could never hide your true emotions from this sneki boi, or did you forget. “I can read your every thought little mouse, so what’s the use in hiding them from me.” During these times, he will talk to you in his most gentle sweet voice, coaxing you to tell him everything and anything that could be bothering you. He would just hug you tightly, hanging on to your every word while gently stonking your hair. It was always strange how the next day, the problem seemed to just disappear. Weird.

The two of you could often be found on some fun adventure/mission or cuddled up together. Mostly with you in his lap, your head in the crook of his neck, while he gently plays with your hair while the two of you just talk for hours.

Other potential matches………………….Nobunaga

Thanx so much for the request! I hope you enjoyed it and I truly hope you are staying safe and well during this time!<3