#reylo humor

[tippenfunkaport]

That viral post that's going around about how people who write "book quality" mlm fic are too "normal" to publish and have real jobs so only "weird" people publish their "shitty" fanfic is so completely out of touch with reality and I am giving a massive side eye to everyone reblogging it.

Not only is it completely, easily verifiably untrue (you cannot enter any professional writing space without tripping over a dozen grizzled scifi writers who got their start by filing off the serial numbers and publishing their Star Trek fanfic even going back decades ago??? it's a whole thing?? plus how can you look at the mlm category on Amazon right now and say with a straight face that people aren't publishing shitty Spirk and Stucky fanfic??? Oh, honey...) it's also the perfect example of this kind of sneering elitism that true artists would never sully themselves by seeking profit, they do it only for the purity of the thing that always somehow leads back to, "no one should be paid to make art, actually."

The only reason you're seeing more published fanfic right now has nothing to do with the idealistic purity of your hypothetical government employee written smut of the past vs the debased scribbles of those awful straights of today and everything to do with the fact that a) self-publishing has created a voracious readership that wants a ton of content so it's become a viable, flexible income stream for many, especially disabled people b) anyone can publish now with self-publishing tools so there are less gatekeepers and c) lockdown got a lot of people into fandom and therefore writing who never tried it before.

And if you really think there's no "shitty" published mlm and no "book-quality" m/f writing out there that started as fanfic, then you are clearly not a reader so why are you even talking about this?

[kylowanderer]

Made a new meme. Thank you Adam's new pics!

[pastel-kaleesh]

[ungravity12]

My Roman Empire 🥹

[bensoloreyofficial]

To celebrate the 10th anniversary of the table read in April for The Force Awakens, Ben’s gathered the family around to have their own read!

[meedawrites]

Ben and Rey betting to see if they get kicked out of the park for their shirts

[marklikely]

take me back to 2016 when i could enjoy a star wars without remembering rian johnsons garbage movie and getting mad

[carrie-organa]

*sighs* chill out kid. we all used to have super active, decently popular reylo side blogs when we were younger.

[seungkw1]

make me — ksy

♡ pairing: kwon soonyoung x afab!reader ♡ theme: smut [18+ mdni], humor ♡ wc: 1.8k ♡ warnings: alcohol consumption, oral (m. receiving, f. receiving implied), handjob, hoshi is obsessed w boobs, hoshi is a simp, i ramble on about star wars for a bit at the beginning ♡ a/n: might have to do a pt. 2 to this one so lmk if anyone is interested in that 👀

“No it’s not.”

“Yes, it is!!”

“Soonyoung. Be so fucking for real right now.” 

Your roommate doesn’t usually drink, and you’re starting to see why. Two Jack & Cokes and he’s fucking gone already.

“I’m telling you y/n, The Rise of Skywalker is so fucking good. You should stop being a haterrrr,” he says, inches away from your face as he leans over to you, nearly pushing you off the couch. You’ve never been this physically close to him, though you’ve certainly thought about it (more than once). Your heart flutters from the proximity of his lips to yours, but you have more important matters at hand right now.

“I didn’t say I hated it, it’s just not that good compared to all the other Star Wars movies!”

He picks up his drink again. You stop him before he can take a sip, handing him a glass of water instead. 

“Well how would I know? I haven’t seen the other movies.”

“WHAT?!”

He takes a big gulp of the water. “I’ve only seen the new ones,” he admits with a shrug.

“Oh my god,” you mumble, resting your forehead against your palm in exasperation. You grab the remainder of his beverage and drink it all in one go. 

This argument isn’t that serious of course - you just need to calm your nerves a bit, considering Soonyoung has now placed your hand on your thigh as he blabbers on.

“Besides, seeing Kylo Ren and Rey finally kiss was great. I cheered.”

“You’re a fucking REYLO SHIPPER??”

“A what?” He blinks at you with heavy eyelids. “I don’t speak that language.”

“Kylo Ren and Rey made a terrible couple, it’s literally toxic. The plot between them should’ve never been a romance.”

“But I like romance!” he practically shouts in your face. You’ve always enjoyed bantering with Soonyoung for fun, but the alcohol in both of your systems is definitely upping the ante. You’ve seen him act ridiculous plenty of times before, but he’s on another level today.

“It’s fucking Star Wars, it doesn’t need romance!!” you shout back.

“Well I think it does!” he states indignantly.

“What do you know?? You haven’t seen the other movies!!”

“So I can’t have an opinion??”

“NO??”

“Why are you being so mean to meeeee,” Soonyoung whines, making big sad puppy dog eyes at you. “I’ve never done anything wrong in my life.”

“You’re literally insane. Get off of me!” you shout as he leans over onto you, practically clinging onto you in his drunken stupor.

He ignores you, getting even more up in your face. “You’re just mad because I have better taste in movies than you.”

“Will you just shut the FUCK UP???”

“MAKE ME!”

You pause, staring at him for a few moments too long. He stares back at you, confusion spreading across his face. Then-

You kiss him.

Your lips press softly against his for only a few moments. You pull back, looking at your roommate eye to eye, watching his inebriated brain trying to process what just happened. As if a lightbulb goes off above his head, it suddenly clicks. He swallows nervously.

“What was that for?” he hesitantly asks, barely more than a whisper.

“I…” you start, but quite honestly you don’t know where that came from. Sure, you’ve found Soonyoung attractive since the day you met him - and sure, living with him has led to a few domestic fantasies here and there. But you are friends, nothing more - your boundaries are unspoken, but clearly established. 

Or so you thought.

Soonyoung’s dark eyes stare into yours. Panic alarms are going off in your head. You fucked up you fucked up you fucked up oh god you fucked up big time…

“I’m so sorr-”

You don’t get to finish that sentence. Soonyoung’s mouth aligns with yours, kissing you hungrily, his hands grasping onto your arms. Shock reverberates through your body as he makes out with you, his hands sliding to your back, pulling your body close against his as his tongue pokes at your lips, requesting entrance. You let him in. He squeezes you even tighter against him as he kisses you like his life depends on it.

After what felt like about a thousand years, you break apart, barely - his lips hovering mere inches in front of yours. The look he gives you is one you’ve never seen him make before - he gazes at you like you’re the most delicious thing he’s ever seen, and he wants to devour you.

You try to speak, but nothing comes out. You’re simply dumbstruck.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he mutters as his hands drop to your hips, still holding onto you for dear life.

“You… like me?”

You silently curse yourself at how dumb you sound. Asking him if he likes you, as if you were in fucking middle school.

“Yeah,” he replies emphatically. “I really really really like you.”

Your head spins, the intoxication doing nothing to help you process this information.

“Um… since when?” 

Soonyoung is still drunk as hell, but he speaks clear as day.

“Short answer, since we moved in together.”

You wait for him to elaborate. He doesn’t.

“And the long answer?”

He shifts awkwardly, doing a very poor job of trying to hide his boner.

“Middle of July. It was hot as balls. I woke up that morning to you making pancakes. You were wearing a light blue tank top with nothing underneath, and-” he trails off. You raise an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to go on.

“And my god, your boobs looked perfect. The pancakes smelled good, but all I wanted was your tits in my mouth.” 

His hand delicately trails up to your breasts, where he is currently staring, taking one of them and squeezing it. He lets out a soft groan as he does.

“Fuck, even better than I imagined.”

“Is that why you took so long to come out for breakfast that day?” you say as your fingertips glide over his thigh, moving toward the very obvious bulge that has formed in his pants. You grab his cock through the fabric. He practically yelps as you begin to caress it slowly.

“Y-yeah,” he answers, his voice going up an octave, practically melting under your touch. 

“So you’re saying that you went and jerked off while you thought of my tits.”

“Um,” he tenses up nervously, realizing what he’s just admitted to.

Before he can say anything else, you take your shirt off, leaving you in just your bra. If his eyes could physically pop out of his head on a pair of springs, they’d be doing just that right now.

You unclasp the hook, removing the undergarment and tossing it aside. He gawks at you - his cock twitches under your palm. You begin to stroke his length, but he immediately grabs your hand to stop you.

“I’ll cum in my pants if you keep doing that.” He’s still staring at your chest.

“Where would you rather cum?”

“I- what?” He looks up at you, his eyes darting between your mouth and your eyes, then back to your boobs, then back to your mouth. 

“Okay then,” you say as you slide off the couch.

“What’re you-” he asks, but freezes as you position yourself between his legs. His body tenses as you undo his belt, quickly unfastening the button and yanking the zipper down. The rock hard bulge protrudes through the fabric of his underwear, begging to escape. You pull the band down, freeing his already-leaking cock. You take the length in your hands, giving it a few slow strokes. He sinks into the couch with a loud groan.

“Oh my god,” he mumbles, your touch sending him to another planet. 

With a swirl of your tongue you lap up the precum dripping from his tip, causing him to let out the biggest whine. You wrap your lips around the head, slowly taking his length into your mouth. 

“Fuckkkkkkk, y/n…” 

He lets out a gasp as you swallow him to his base. He places one hand softly upon your head as you begin to move your mouth up and down his cock. Within seconds he is a moaning, blubbering mess.

“Feels so good baby, oh god don’t stop. You’re so fucking hot oh my god… fuckkkk…”

You increase your pace. Between moans he continues praising you, whining and whimpering, begging you for more. The man simply cannot shut up about how good you’re sucking him off.

And it’s making you so incredibly wet right now.

You want to touch yourself so badly, but your priority is pleasuring Soonyoung. And judging by the way he is wriggling under you, bucking his hips and fucking his cock into your throat, unintelligibly babbling as he moans your name - you’re doing a pretty damn good job.

“Oh fuck,” he cries out. “Fuck, y/n, gonna cum…”

The words are barely out of his mouth before hot white ropes are hitting the back of your throat. He grips onto your hair as he cums, cock pulsating in your mouth as he rides out his high. As he comes down, he collapses into the sofa - you slowly pull your mouth off of him, making a show of swallowing all of his cum.

“Jesus fucking Christ, y/n…”

You climb back up onto the couch. He immediately leans in and starts kissing you.

“Thank you,” he murmurs between kisses.

“Are you seriously thanking me for sucking your dick?”

He shrugs as he wraps his arms around your waist. “You just gave me the best head of my life, least I can do is say thanks.”

“Actually,” he corrects himself right away, “I take that back. If you’ll let me, can I… may I please eat you out?”

You burst out laughing. He looks at you, puzzled.

“Sorry, if you don’t want-”

“No no no,” you tell him, still laughing. “It’s not that, I’ve just never had anybody ask me so politely like that before.”

His face lights up, hopeful. “So can I?” he pleads enthusiastically. “Pleaseeeeeeee? Please please please?”

You lean your head into his shoulder, giggling like an idiot.

“Soonyoung, you are truly one of a kind.”

He gently grabs your chin, tilting your head up until you are eye to eye. His nose presses into yours.

“Is that a yes?”

You smile as you kiss him.

“Yes, it’s a yes.”

He practically leaps off the couch, startling you. He grabs your hand, pulling you up and directing you toward his bedroom.

“Wait,” he says as he pauses. He looks at you very seriously.

“My room or yours?”

“Don’t care,” you respond eagerly.

He grins. “Yours, then.”

—

[kylowanderer]

.Hello December we meet again. ❄ Please guys check out my youtube channel it has been flopping lately!! youtube.com/@kylo.wanderer

[enterprisegurl1701]

My friend’s reaction to the end of Phantom omg

[ziggyevenstar]

🔪🎀

🎠 been ordering a lot lately sa office

🎠 my copy of babel was delivered na hehehhehe

🎠 had lunch w jerrel this week— afterwards, he bought beyblade and i bought a book: bride. it’s by ali hazelwood. she wrote love hypothesis which i love mostly bec it’s so ao3 (and it’s actually from ao3, it started out as a reylo fic). so yes i love ali hazelwood our fanfic queen, sue me

🎠 yesterday we had a work thing— bowling. after office. i was so drained so i msged jerrel and asked him if pwede sya nalang magsundo saken so i can charge. sinundo nya ko and dinala sa sm pamp which isn’t really near where we were just bec he thought i needed some fully booked and sm pamp’s the only place around here where there’s fully booked. ayun. i bought acomaf HAHAHHAA. i used to be acotar’s number 1 hater. i judged it so much that i said to myself— i have to read this shit so the next time i talk shit about it they can’t say it’s uninformed. i take it all back. acotar’s so bad that sonehow it’s good???? i don’t know what’s in it but i have to know what happens. so yes i bought acomaf and i will buy the next books. it’s so liberating allowing myself to like something that’s not a literary masterpiece that i simply enjoy.

🎠 my dad had a tantrum again today. he threw stuff and threw in some extra curse words directed to us. it got so scary with the way my sister kept talking back. it’s always scary provoking an angry man. bec my dad doesn’t think when he’s angry. bec a rational person wouldn’t throw a pair of scissors to his daughter just bec he was angry and it was the first thing he could grab. a rational person wouldn’t grab the dog’s cage (with the dog still inside) and throw it, albeit lightly. but those things didn’t happen today— those are just some of the things he did that no matter what i do or how much time passes, i could still remember every detail of. i wonder what it’s like to have a dad who doesn’t call you the devil, bolang or bugok when he’s mad. i wonder what it’s like to have a dad who doesn’t yell at you, “nagtrabaho lang kayo…”— the same trabahos that take care of the bills. or tells you “wala kang mapagmamalaki saken”. with the level with which he got mad at us (he was fuming) you’d think he was mad over some big and important issue. there’s humor in that somewhere i’m sure.

but there’s a silver lining in here, i hope, and infinitesimal as it may be compared to my dad’s tantrum, i am so moved and grateful—minutes after dad’s tantrum, i asked jerrel to pick me and my sister up from the house even though we had a one-sided tampuhan last night (ako lang nagtampo over something so small, in retrospect) and he immediately called me to say he was on his way. would u look at that

[okapi-jones]

😈 what is dark within me, illumine 😈

🔥RELAUNCHED FIC ALERT🔥

what is dark within me, illumine

A #Reylo divine rom-comedy.

OR: funny until it’s emotionally devastating (feels on brand)

🜘 Demon-Summoning Modern AU 🜛 Also an Office / Historical AU (yes, really. you’ll see.) 🜁 Multi-chapter / Long Fic WIP 🜂 Demon Ben with a mysterious past 🜃 Disillusioned human tech-worker Rey 🜄 Forced Proximity 🜘 Failed Soul Contracts 🜁 Bibliomancy 🜂 Humor and Romance and Angst and Fluff 🜃 Fish Out of Water / Man Out of Time 🜄 Existential Crises 🜁 Weird forays into surrealist imagery 🜂 Literary references. SO MANY LITERARY REFERENCES 🜾 Eventual Smut 🜡 Eventual HEA (Always. Promise. 🤍)

Art by the incredible @cndcrd!

———🜘———

I finally did it! After 9 months of hiatus, WE’RE BACK with demon!Ben and grumpy!Rey.

All six existing chapters on AO3 have been completely revised - and I’ve just posted the seventh, my first update since October.

I expect I’ll be working on this one for the rest of the year, if not longer. She’s CHONKY. She’s THICC. She’s going places I don’t think most people will expect. And I’m so excited to be working on her again.

I sincerely hope you’ll join me and keep me company along the way.

Revised summary below!

———🜘———

Five years after Rey graduated from college, she’s living the millennial dream: stressed, depressed, in debt, and working for a soulless social media tech giant. When she finally decides to throw away her dreams for good, a treasure from her past accidentally summons something she never expected: a monstrous demon straight from Hell.

A demon who might just be her salvation.

———🜘———

A Reylo divine rom-comedy, a.k.a: the modern/demon/office/literary/historical AU slow burn epic mishmash fic of my dreams - with a twist.

Come for the genre-bending and humor, stay for the philosophizing, non-standard demon lore, and eventual [ready-or-knot] monsterfucking. I don’t know, I don’t make the rules of demon anatomy.

(Except when I do.)

Read it here on AO3!

[readingreylo]

I'm like 90% sure @voicedimplosives said it was a big influence on go i know not whither and fetch i know not what ????

Where is Reylo Goncharov AU??

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 5/5

Book Blurb:

Ali Hazelwood promises “the cello scene in this book will change your life” in this Reylo-inspired grumpy-sunshine romance full of sharp banter, deep emotion, and irresistible humor.   When professional—and self-taught—violinist Gwen Jackson plays, she disappears into the peaks and valleys of each song, a quiet passion that never quite explodes into pure emotion. Xander Thorne is the exact opposite. A cellist and a rock star, he’s all about big emotion, but not even his six-foot-four frame can contain his skill, his genius . . . and an attitude that borders on jerkitude. 

Not only did it take Xander a year to notice that he and Gwen both play in the Manhattan Pops, but he also always seems to have the perfect cutting criticism about her technique. When Gwen is offered the role of first chair of the orchestra, something Xander has secretly coveted for years, their existing hostility goes up a notch. Yet, despite her best efforts, Gwen can’t ignore the sizzling chemistry between them. Forced to work more closely with each other, they can’t help exploring their attraction. As they begin to compose and play songs together, it’s clear that their powerful connection could make for a performance that would blow everyone’s minds. Suddenly, they’re box office dynamite, and the fragile romance growing between them is in danger of being crushed beneath a publicity stunt.

Review:

He's the grumpy famous professional cellist while she's the sunshine self taught violinist, both of them are part of the same orchestra and after a run in at a wedding.... a song has begun to be created between them. Gwen is a self taught professional violinist, she's kept to herself in the orchestra and enjoys playing music. Alex "Xander" Thorne is the complete opposite, he's the rock star cellist who is not only giant but is also grumpy and one could say, a bit of a jerk. When Gwen and Xander run into each other at a wedding, Xander begins to notice Gwen... and he can't seem to stay away. Gwen doesn't know why he's suddenly focused on her but he goes from giving her critiques on her technique to begging her for a coffee date. Things only escalate when Gwen is offered role of first chair, the one position that Xander has secretly coveted for years, their hostility only grows up.... but so does the chemistry. So when both of them are forced to work together they also begin to explore their attraction.... while composing songs and creating music together.... romance is beginning to be written out as well if only they could find a way to make the delicate song between them work without being crushed by everyone else's expectations of them. This was such a delight to read, as a musician I just adored this book so much. It gave me, if you've ever read it, La Corda De Ora vibes ( I was so obsessed with this manga when I was like 13). I had so much fun reading this one and I loved just how positively obsessed Alex is with Gwen, he fell head over heels for her music and was determined to have her as his partner. They were such a cute couple and I just had a smile on my face the entire time I was reading this and can't recommend it enough. I've been a huge fan of Julie Soto's writing for a while now and this one was just perfect, I can't wait to read her next book!

Release Date: July 16,2024

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Netgalley and Forever (Grand Central Publishing) | Forever for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[virginmiri99]

Looking for new content? Here's a list of CCs I like while I procrastinate cleaning my room

I will go from most popular to least and maybe you'll find something you are interested in. Kinda long so I added read more.

DougDoug - needs no introduction as he is very popular, I recently started watching his videos because a student vouched for him and while I can see why kids will like his challenge videos, I also find his content very entertaining. Especially while you eat dinner. Big fan of his zelda content. Parkzer is an interesting side character.

Squeex - PLEASE. If you want to get into Squeex start with his beating every mario kart game video. It's a good introduction and you can go from there. Please.

Linkus7 - My favorite Zelda runner as of late, I consider him a part of a triangle consisting of PointCrow, Smallant, and him. Though, he is lesser known within the greater sphere of twitch. His randomizers are the most fun in my opinion. I try to save his recent vods when I can, as he doesnt save them anymore.

Sambucha - STOP he makes like lowkey mindless kids content videos but I'm like obsessed with him for some reason. One of my students forced me to watch his "beating the easiest world records" video and I was immediately enthralled. He makes content thats easy to listen to while you draw. But I'm sure you can do other things with it on in the background.

Sturniolo Triplets - Content that is popular with teen girls, but I'm still obsessed for some reason. I just love people who have a good relationship just hang out together. Podcast vibes. Nick is the funniest. CONS: Chris is a queerbaiter at heart, though he is in a youtube group with his brothers. Hmm. Cant be doing that here.

Stephanie Soo - Mukbang true crime girl. I loved her video in high school and I would always put on her videos while I was in painting II - III or drawing. Too bad I cant watch her anymore because too much true crime makes me too paranoid. If you like true crime shes an easy watch, keeps thing friendly and accessible. I love her and her husbands relationship.

Trin Lovell - Reviews movies and by far my favorite movie watcher on youtube. Her editing is really funny and quippy. She got popular from watching best and worse riverdale and glee episodes (shes a big glee fan). my favorite videos from her are where hands touch and skinamarink. I have gained many new phrases from her.

StephenPlays - Smaller youtuber whos been in the game for like fifteen years. He is very chill and does letsplays with his friends and wife. I recommend his twilight princess and mario kart play throughs (featuring his wife Mal).

Any Austin - one of my fav youtubers ever and I've been a fan of him for 11 years now. He basically shaped my humor as a kid and I recommend his eggbusters series to get started. He had a letsplay channel called Two People Playing Games with his friend Aysha that sadly disbanded as they became too busy in their lives to keep up with it. Austin has done a lot of content over the years and recently is getting big for is "calculating the unemployment level of ___" keep this on the DL but if you ever want any privated videos I know a guy.

The Fisher - MAGNET FISHING

People you may have heard of, but made never checked out! My vouch:

Drew Gooden - Obviously. Funniest commentary youtuber. If you haven't watched him what are you doing?

Jenny Nicholson - I got into beef with her in 2019 (i think) when everyone was making fun of her for being a Reylo and she blocked me. I still like her commentary videos. Especially for background noise. My acc she blocked me on was suspended.

Johnny's Communication Center -

Sinjin Drowning - theyre snakes and lowkey the azealia banks of I guess roblox content bc thats all they do anymore but I'll be damned if I'm not CACKLING at them. They have a trail of destroyed friendships as long as the empire state building behind them.