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cazzyf1 · 5 months ago

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My favourite and interesting quotes from the book 'Challenge me the race' by Mike Hawthorn

We played football, hockey and cricket, but my cricket career was soon cut short. One Saturday afternoon, I went in as wicket-keeper, and while the batsmen were putting their pads on, the bowler sent down a practise ball, which thumped me hard on the nose - p15

When I was about thirteen, I went off into the woods with another boy to shoot rabbits; he had an air rifle, and I had an air pistol. He was leading the way, swinging the rifle backwards and forwards; as he swung it outward, I took aim at the butt to give him a bit of a surprise, but there must have been something wrong with the sights; the pellet went into his leg. We were not far from a church, so I whipped him into the churchyard and bathed his leg with the water from a flower vase. Eventually, I managed to squeeze the pellet out, and we both went home. Of course, his leg turned septic, but he talked his way out of it and his family never knew what happened. - p15

I always had a feeling I would like to play the trumpet, and after breaking-in as a bugler, I have since brought a trumpet. I doubt I shall cause Eddie Calvert any sleepless nights unless he happens to be in the next room while I am practising, and I do not aspire to emulate Johnny Cales, who was popular both a racing driver and a dance-band leader, but if the race-driving and the motor trade fail, I may still be able to make an honest coin - p15/16

While I was still an apprentice, my parents concluded that daily use of a motor-bike on the road would have to stop if I was to stay in this world - p17

I did not realise at the time but I took an awful shaking at Dundrod. I did not feel too bad at the time, but the next evening, I suddenly passed out and had to go to bed with whiskey and hot milk. My interior organs were in revolt against being thrown about like a stone bouncing down a tin roof, and this may have been the first sign of troubles for which I later had to have extensive repairs on the operating table - p25

I caught sight of Rodney and Mike Oliver, the Connaught development engineer, standing at Madgwick Corner, and I thought that on the next time around I would really show them what I could do. I did. When the car stopped spinning round and round, I realised that any hopes of driving a Connaught would have to be postponed for the time being. - p26

He produced a bottle of alcohol and started to swab it off with that. I nearly went straight through the ceiling with alcohol on a sort of raw wound. "We'll leave it alone, shall we?" I said eventually. - p47

After I had been in bed for a couple of days, everyone came to see me, Lance Macklin, John, and Laurel Heath, and a lot of Italians came to see me - one or two of them had been prisoners of war in England - and altogether everyone was very kind - p48

"There are two ways of getting rid of it: we can either leave it and let it go on its own accord; or we can stick a needle in you and drain it off." I said: "Thanks very much, I'll leave it and let it go away on its own." So they said: "Fair enough." - p48

I tried some ski-ing, but found it - and I did not reckon this at all - most dangerous, I thought, "No, this isn't for you, Hawthorn, leave it alone." I kept falling, and I could feel the bones of my leg bending; I did not fancy it at all. - p49

I hated the idea of being driven for long distances by other people, so I announced that I was going to drive and anyone who wished could sit in the back. The announcement did nothing to further amicable Anglo-American relations, but to my relief, the others did not argue the point - p72

Some time later, I emerged onto a deserted circuit, whence driver mechanics, spectators and officials had fled long since, and then I remembered that I had no transport. Our crippled race cars had been taken away in the vans, and my own car was at that moment standing outside the Le Mans railway station, as I had lent it to Farina, who had wanted to catch a train before the race ended. There was nothing for it but to start walking. After about a mile, I heard an old 2-litre Lagonda hurtling up the road behind me, so I thumbed a lift. The car screeched to abrupt stop, and I got in gratefully. By way of conversation, I said: "My father used to have one of these cars. They're jolly good, aren't they?" It was a mistake; thus encouraged, the driver tried to demonstrate that what I had said was indeed true and went weaving in and out of the traffic at a furious pace. We went hurtling up to the backs of trucks, braking late, with all wheels locked, and it dawned on me that he too had been celebrating-and rather too well. Sweating with fear, I frantically tried to keep the conversation going in the hope it would slow him down "Jaguars did a good job, winning at that speed," I said. "Yes, old boy," he replied, snatching another gear. "Drove those damned Ferraris right into the ground. Showed 'em how to drive." I had struck the right note and for the rest of the way into Le Mans he told me with much elaboration and adjective and expletive how a Jaguars had ground the pride of the Italians and their drivers into the dust. He got so interested in this that he forgot to drive so fast, which made me very happy, and I kept on agreeing with everything he said. He was kind enough to take me back to my hotel and as I staggered out of the car, surprised but happy at having arrived one piece, he said: "Hope we meet again some time. We might have a drink." "Yes," I said. "We might. Remember the name, it's Mike Hawthorn." The effect was wonderful. His face seemed to subside like a load of cement sliding out of a wheelbarrow. Oddly enough we did meet again that same night and we had several drinks together. P74

I think it was called Punta del Este - the hotel kept a line of horses for the use of guests. Maglioli and I decided to risk a trip on a couple one day; he selected a low-built job which kept his feet near to the ground, but I had a normal job. We went off into the woods, but after a while, I missed him and found that his steed had taken him up the drive of a private house to the front door. The owners did not seem to find it funny, but Maglioli knew a little Spanish and talked his way out of it. I was roaring with laughter, but in the middle of it, my mount started walking backwards - and kept on, no matter what I did. In the end, I had to jump off and stop it and get it started the normal way. - p100

I followed on a horse; it went lame fairly soon, and I had to take a stone out of it's hoof, after which it refused to do anything but take me back to the hotel. I tried tempting it with bits of sugar, but it simply stretched out its neck for the sugar and then doubled back every time, so after a lot of pulling and tugging, I gave up and asked for another horse, which would really take me where I wanted. They gave me another, something quite different. No sooner had I set foot in that stirrup than it was off, and nothing I could do would slow it down. Down the road we went, thundering past a Ford and a Jeep, with me, very frightened, holding on like grim death. It only slowed down when it got tired. I tested it - and myself - and then tried to start back for the hotel. It soon began to accelerate again, so I jumped off and led it the rest of the way, which must have been a couple of miles. That was the last time I rode a horse - p100/101

In Uruguay, we spent most of our time on the beach or in the casino, where I lost money regularly, but we made an interesting excursion to an island just off the coast which was absolutely covered in seals. In small numbers, seals are amusing creatures, but amongst this vast mass - it was the mating season, and fantastic battles were going on amongst the males, with bodies of former losers lying rotting on the beach and creating an appalling stench - we quickly lost our enthusiasm for nature study - p101

Like most fair-haired people, I get sunburnt very easily and surgery agonies from blisters, so I used these weeks in the sun to try and build up a resistance to it, gradually lengthening the exposure. I put up with weeks of pain and eventually acquired a dirty colour, which I hoped was the foundation of a handsome tan, but it all disappeared on the plane coming back to Europe and by the time I reached Italy, I was my normal pink self - p101

Stirling Moss had a room in a motel with a spare bed, so I moved in with him for the night, but we had an unhappy time as the sanitary system gave off a vile chemical smell - p102

Just before the race, there had been a lot of excitement in the papers about a statuette of the Madonna in a working man's home which was supposed to be weeping, and I had been taken along to see it on the exhibition in one of the public squares. There was an old woman there selling white flowers, and she had presented me with a sprig, saying, "Carry thus with you while you are racing." I put it in my breast pocket, and when I survived the crash, word got around that I was because of a flower. People came streaming into the hospital to see me. No one stopped them, and whole families crowded into the room, father, mother, and the children, just standing there silently gazing at me. I was finding it rather a trial. - p106

As I got stronger, I was given a pair of crutches so that I could hobble about a bit, but the pain under my armpits was excruciating, so I had a wheelchair instead. I soon worked out a few circuits round the corridor of the hospital and started timing myself round them with my wrist stopwatch, but it was decided that I was a menace to hospital staff, who might be carrying bottles or bed-pans, so the wheelchair was taken away, and I had to persever with crutches - p107

My face had been scorched by the flames, and I had grown a beard and moustache, but they were not very successful, so I shaved them off when I was fit enough to move about again - p108

Jenny lent me a Guzzi motor scooter, which enabled me to get around and see a number of people I knew, but after one late party with Captain Johnny Johnson of B.O.A.C. and some other airline pilots, I found I was not nearly as strong as I thought and had some explaining to do to the doctor next day - p108

The girl behind the bar said that Reuters had been trying to find me. They soon came through again and asked if I was going to England to see my father. "Why should I be going?" I asked, "Don't you know?" They replied, "He's had an accident." It was obviously pretty bad, so I got through to the garage at Farnham and learned from one of the girls in the office that my father had had a car crash the night before; there was not much hope for him. The planes to England that night were fully booked out, but Bernard Cahier, the journalist, got me first refusal on the last plane of the day, and I rang Farnham to say I hoped to arrive that night. They told me that my father had died a few minutes before. - p109

I knew perfectly well that, having just lost my father, she (Mike's mother) would have liked nothing better than to see me give up racing immediately, especially knowing how badly she was affected when she saw me in hospital in Rome, and I shall always admire the courage with which she faced up to that difficult decision - p111

The woods are barred to the public during the race, and the Swiss police use fierce Alsatian dogs to enforce the ban. One of them went for me, snarling and snapping, and it took the policeman in charge of it some time to calm it down. Life as a professional racing driver has lots of risks which have nothing to do with motor cars. P122

On the last day of practise, Collins, cornering fast on the Vanwall, was caught out by oversteer, slid into a sandbank and flipped over. A few minutes later, Moss came in with the back end of his Maserati crumpled. I laughed at the two of them, saying, "You simply shouldn't do that sort of thing." I then went out to try and do a fast lap in the Squalo, lost it on a corner at the top of the hill and spun backwards into the straw bales, smashing up the tail end. - p128

Ever since I was seventeen, I had suffered intermittent pain in my back and I mentioned it to my doctor when I got back to England after recovering from the Syracuse burns, and he sent me to a specialist who diagnosed kidney trouble and said I would have an operation in the end of the racing season - p130

I staggered from the pit, saying I was finished with racing and was not going to get in the car again. I suppose I was near hysteria as a result of shock; coming on top of the concentrated nerve strain of the previous two hours, I was led away by Duncan Hamilton and his wife Angela, who took me to their caravan, sat me down and put a drink in my hand while Duncan talked to me like a father, trying to calm me down. When he had seen all the team cars refuelled, Lofty England came over to see how I was, and I again said that I was not going to drive again, but Lofty said quite firmly, "Oh yes you are! You're going to go out there and finish the race. It's the only thing you can possibly do!" - p152

I knew I must break free before it landed again, or I should be finished. Suddenly, there was a feeling of utter relief. I had broken free and was alone in mid-air. It was quiet, and I seemed to be floating in space, defying the law of gravity. Then, the bone-jarring shock as I hit the ground. - p173

I was taken to a doctor in Towncester who proposed to stich up the wound on my face. I said: "No you don't" - p175

Why Klemantski (photographer) was not run down by my Cooper-Bristol we shall never know - p177

I was being hustled from all sides, so I retaliated and shunted somebody off the course; it turned out to be Ivor, who had lent me his car, and he gave me a very old-fashioned look afterwards - p192

It would be idle to pretend that racing drivers are always perfect guests from the hotelier's point of view, and that night, the hotels' magnificent fire precautions, consisting of highly polished devices like stirrup pumps in gleaming copper-bound tubs, provided an irresistible temptation. A hosepipe battle developed in which a good deal of water fell wide of the primary objectives. At breakfast next morning, one of the race officials appeared and obviously had a problem on his mind. It was obvious what the problem was, so after an exchange of pleasantries, we said: "Well, how much is it?" He was immensely relieved and said: "Thank you, gentlemen! If you wouldn't mind leaving a little something at the desk when you go, the bill will be sent later," we did, and a mutually acceptable figure was ultimately agreed upon - p193/194

I struggled convulsively and then must have been knocked out, for I remember no more until I heard someone moaning and groaning. I wondered who it might be until it dawned on me that I was the person making all the fuss. Spectators rushed up, and one started trying to comfort me, saying over and over: "It's all right, Mike, you're all right." "How the devil does he know?" I asked myself - p194

I sent Ferrari a telegram saying: "I am interested if you are," to which he replied saying he was interested - p197

I gave myself a bad fright through over-estimating my powers of seamanship while returning from a party late one stormy night in a borrowed cabin cruiser - p201

After that, I went back to flying and took von Trips up in a Piper Cub to get some ciné pictures. He wanted to shoot some scenes of the river and the yachts, so I took him down low and was just thinking that this would be an awful place to have to make a forced landing, when the engine cut. Below us was nothing but water and semi-jungle; not a possible landing place for miles. I was just debating the chances of survival in a ditching when I glanced down and saw that the throttle had shut. The machine had dual control, and von Trips had caught his elbow against the lever as he leaned out of the window with his camera - p201

I did not think I could possibly last through the second heat, but I got someone to drill a lot of holes into my crash helmet, swallowed some salt tablets, and put on a light sleeveless pullover. Musso had fallen ill with the stomach trouble, which was to keep him out of racing for some time to come, so Peter took his car, and Masten Gregory moved into Peter's car. I again made the silly gear change mistake, and so did Peter and some of the others...I was so exhausted by the heat that I slowed down and was passed by Fangio, Behra and Peter Collins. I would gladly have signed an undertaking never to go motor racing again and at the end of the race was practically prostrate. Yet Peter was as lively as a cricket. I said: "That was a pretty good effort Pete." "Yes," he replied. "Weren't those pills wonderful?" "What pills?" said I, and then I learned that while I had been monopolising the shower, a doctor had been round distributing heat pills which had made everyone but me more or less immune to the heat - p202

Before the race, Peter and I had arranged, we would put on a bit of a show for the crowd, and he said: "I'm happy if we go over the line side by side; if you have the lead, you win, and I will come in second because I won at Syracuse." I thought this was a very fair thing to say, and we took it in turns to take the lead and were pushing each other fairly hard - p209

I left Modena with Trintignant, and he drove me up in his Renault Dauphine. The road from Genoa to Monaco is very difficult and twisty, but these Renaults are fantastic little motor cars, and he drove it flat out the whole time. Knowing that I am a very nervous passenger, he did the usual trick, waiting until I was just dozing off and then suddenly putting the brakes hard on, which scared the daylights out of me as I thought we were about to hit something. I did wake up once to see the back of a large lorry looming in front of my face, but that was the only time we ever seemed to be in any real danger of hitting anything. - p212

I hit the pole barricade running along the edge of the quary, and the car rode up high, then crashed down on top of Peter's car, where my wrecked front suspension missed his head by inches. Peter leapt out, running like a deer across the road, and I followed while the tail-end cars went whizzing by. I was so relieved to find no one hurt that I burst out laughing, but it was no laughing matter. - p214

There was no time to see if the Maserati had been rolled over or not, and I was very worried about Stirling until I saw next lap that the car was intact except for the missing wheel - p217

I dropped in at Deauville, where there was an air rally, and I was faced with the problem of finding a dinner-jacket for a party on the Sunday night. One of the people at the hotel gave me the address of some people who would hire me a suit. This turned out to be a laundry and dry cleaners. We ran through what seemed to be the customers' clothes until we found a jacket and a separate pair of trousers which fitted me approximately. The trousers were too long even for me, so the legs were turned up, and someone lent me a tie. That left me with the problem of shoes so I took my racing shoes, which were an oil-soaked brown, had then blacked and turned up the picture of the elegant man about town - p222

I motioned to Peter to come alongside and pointed behind us with thumb down to indicate that Fangio seemed to be in trouble. He nodded, put his thumb up, then pointed to me with one finger and back to himself with two. He wanted me to win and was prepared to come second himself, which I thought was a very sporting gesture - p227

Peter and his wife left their car at Colouge and flew with me in the Gull. We stayed one night in Hamburg and took off the next morning, but we had only got to about 2,000 feet when the engine cut dead. We looked at each other, rather worried, for below us were water and docks and steamers. Louise, who was sitting in the back reading a book, buried herself in that and refused to look out. Fortunately we had sufficient height to turn, and I decided to try and guide back to the aerodrome. As I did so, the engine began firing again on three cylinders, and I picked the longest runway for the forced landing. - p229

Bernard Cahier, the journalist and photographer who usually manages to be present with his camera when racing incidents take place, had faithfully recorded his 1956 excursion into the cornfield and boasted that he would get some more pictures if I repeated the performance this year. Unfortunately, I did run off there quite early when the breaks started fading away, and he got the picture. Well, I did it again later in the race I was relieved to see there was no photographer in sight, but Cahier had got it again...from a helicopter - p231

Our team consisted of Collins and myself, Musso and von Trips, the latter now wearing an imposing beard - p232

The prospects looked grim as the island contained nothing but the airfield, a few houses and a single-storey hotel with camp beds and very simple furniture. But a film show was put on for us - with very old films, but perhaps no older than we get on television - and in the evening, a Spanish girl came along to entertain us with songs and dances, so thay we had quite the merry party - p240

#i love mike and his funny commentary #all the situations he got into #so many near plane crashes lmao #nearly died when reading he got banned from racing his wheelchair around the hospital #classic f1 #f1 #formula one #formula 1 #vintage f1 #mike hawthorn

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deliciouskeys · 1 year ago

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Hi! I'm late to the party, but you still doing the fanfic trope meme? How about Butchlander for #9 -- amnesia? (no pressure tho)

It’s never too late for rambling runon Butchlander fic ideas! (Meme link)

Ooh this is a good one, so have two scenarios, depending on who’s saddled with amnesia. Both start out with canon-like no established relationship, so they’re on the long side

9, Butchlander, Amnesia: Homelander’s the one with amnesia

The Boys manage to wipe HL’s memory using some overpowered telepath supe (like Cate heh). He forgets so much, he can’t even remember how to use his powers, but he’s still got his superhuman defenses, so they still can’t kill him.

They take him to the Boys’ HQ and try to figure out what do with him. Billy is a little bit dismayed to see that making HL’s mind into more or less a clean slate also dramatically changes his personality. He’s unsure of himself, clinging to Billy for guidance as the person he sees as the leader of this group, and honestly not really much of a cunt. They try to plan whether he can actually help them take down Vought (they feel bad trying to find ways to kill him when he can’t even remember any of his crimes and is like an ignorant, innocent babe). At the end of the day Billy puts him in civilian clothes, baseball cap and sunglasses and takes him home as incognitoly as possible. Homelander mopes around the house, starts asking Billy what it is they’re trying to do and why they need his help, and Billy can’t believe he’s actually encouraging HL to recall how to use his powers, asking him to try to incinerate a target or lift off the floor. HL, for his part,thinks it’s preposterous that Billy thinks he can fly and shoot lasers, and can’t seem to remember how to do it.

Depending on how slow or fastburn the story goes, they end up having sex eventually and Billy’s brain breaks because it’s good, dammit, but he also sees HL’s eyes light up on orgasm. HL also eventually sees himself as missing on the news, starts asking more questions and when Billy tells him the truth gets revolted and depressed.

9, Butchlander, Amnesia: Billy’s the one with amnesia (why’d this get so long)

Billy’s TempV illness gets so bad that he’s already in hospice care, about to die, and so much of his brain has deteriorated that he’s losing motor functions, his speaking faculties, and his memory. He wakes up to find himself in a sunny room with tall ceilings and very strange decor. A man wearing a ridiculous superhero uniform approaches him, asks him how he’s feeling. Billy’s feeling fine, in fact he can vaguely recollect that he felt much worse at some point earlier, but he seems to have huge memory gaps. Even this man in front of him looks very familiar, and the name he introduces himself by elicits a strange angry feeling in him, but trying to remember who he is is like grasping at bubbles and the man is being very pleasant if a little patronizing, so maybe the anger is misplaced. Whoever he is, Homelander seems to be living in this opulently garish apartment, and for some reason has bothered to place Billy’s hospital bed near his window-wall.

Billy is physically very weak, he’s not quite sure when he’s been out of bed the last time, but his body looks wasted away, and he has to brace himself against furniture to hold himself up when he tries to walk under his own power. Homelander leaves him in his apartment, but gives him a number to call should he need anything. Billy just sits and watches TV for hours to try to piece together some of the really fragmented information in his mind. At the very least he pieces together that Homelander is probably the most important and famous superhero on the planet, but can’t figure out why he’s taken him in (he said he arranged for his cure and recovery) and can’t quite place why he keeps feeling anger rise whenever he sees him on screen, his lizard brain remembering something his higher one doesn’t. It doesn’t make any damn sense, but Billy does ask Homelander why he saved him. Homelander shrugs and says rescuing people is his job, but it seems like a deflection, and he looks amused as he says it, in an irritating way.

Homelander’s original plan was to just get his nemesis back to life, and maybe gloat a little. He put in him in his room to maintain secrecy, but maybe he shouldn’t have put his bed right where Stormfront’s was, because his mind is getting a little crosswired too. He doesn’t ask Billy for handjobs, but mentally things start to blur.

Days pass, Billy recovers physically more and more. He puts aside his strange, unprovoked ill will towards Homelander, and they eventually become physically intimate. “Were we… together before I got sick?” Billy asks, a little bewildered that he could have forgotten something like that, and Homelander smiles and nods, as if that was the real reason he saved him this whole time. He can’t keep Billy locked away forever though, and eventually Billy walks around Vought Tower. It becomes a creepy thriller because he runs into a weird kid in the hallways who seems to know him and seems very surprised to see him alive, but Homelander is there to quickly steer him away.

Billy eventually goes out into the city, old buried memories kicking in to make him find Central Park. He finds a quiet area with an inviting bench to sit on (the place seems so familiar? But Billy is tired of sorting out all his deja vus), taking in the view when a tall skinny guy walks by and seems to recognize him, and seems to be shocked that he’s alive. And when Hughie sits down and starts explaining everything, it’s like the Matrix and Memento all in one, and Billy breaks out in a cold sweat when the whole demented-sounding story does start clicking into place and he does remember about Becca’s existence.

But he decides it’s to the Boys’ advantage to pretend he doesn’t remember, because now he has incredible access to HL… just as soon as they figure out how to do him harm. He goes back and tries to pretend everything is fine, but of course it’s hard, especially when HL can hear his pulse rate and see him sweat. HL may be noticing something but he’s happier pretending everything is fine too, because at least he has the semblance of a loving relationship. Billy is basically a honeypot in this operation now.

#thanks for the ask!#lol #written on mobile so please excuse weird errors #butchlander #homelander #billy butcher #amnesia #fic ideas #the boys #the boys tv #mystuff

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jetwhenitsmidnight · 6 months ago

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The Worst Perfect Moment by Shivaun Plozza

Publisher: Peachtree Teen

Release date: 14 May 2024

Genre: young adult magical realism

If you like: The Good Place, sapphic strangers-to-sort-of-rivals-to-friends-to-lovers, teenage coming of age, quirky characters, figuring out what it means to be happy

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫/5

Synopsis

Tegan Masters is dead.

She’s sixteen and she’s dead and she’s standing in the parking lot of the Marybelle Motor Lodge, the single most depressing motel in all of New Jersey and the place where Tegan spent what she remembers as the worst weekend of her life.

In the front office, she meets Zelda, a cute and sarcastic girl Tegan’s age who is, in fact, an angel (wings and all). According to Zelda, Tegan is officially in heaven, where every person inhabits an exact replica of their happiest memory. For Tegan, Zelda insists, that place is the Marybelle—creepy minigolf course, revolting breakfast buffet, broken TV, and all.

Tegan has a few complaints about this.

As Zelda takes Tegan on a whirlwind tour through Tegan’s past to help her understand what mattered most to her in life, the stakes couldn’t be higher. If Zelda fails to convince Tegan that the Marybelle was the site of Tegan's perfect moment, both girls face eternal consequences too dire to consider. But if she succeeds…they just might get their happily-ever-afterlife.

Content warnings

Death (from a car accident, but it's not described in detail)

Divorce

Grief

Abandonment

Review

Thank you to Netgalley for an ARC in exchange for a review! 😇🪽😵

Ok, wow. Not gonna lie, but this legit moved me, like, I was reading this on the bus trying to hold back tears because I didn't want to cry in public.

There was such a good balance of humour and heart; while some of the characters can be silly, this book is not afraid to confront real issues and lean into the characters' emotional moments. Seriously, this got heavier than I had expected.

I loved how Tegan's narrative arc was handled, like the set-up and her journey with Zelda through her memories leading up to the climax, the pacing and Tegan's emotional journey, everything was so well-executed and felt so realistic. Everything leading up to Tegan's revelation culminates in, well, the Perfect Moment.

Tegan and Zelda's relationship was so sweet and charming, like their dynamic is so fun to read. I loved their banter, which might come across to some as too childish or immature (they call each other stuff like buttface and dickcheese) but I honestly found it so endearing. (Also, I'm in no position to talk; I'm a legal adult and the way I talk IRL is Worse.)

The setting and the world-building reminds me of The Good Place, with the bureaucratic Upper Management, the not-so-perfect afterlife and the cast of quirky characters. But while The Good Place was religiously secular, this afterlife is (surprisingly) Christian-coded, with concepts of Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, and capital-G God. Not gonna lie, it kind of bugged me a little to assume that everyone's afterlife would be a Christian one, but as a setting/premise it does work for the story, so I'll let it pass.

All in all, I definitely recommend giving this a read, it will warm your heart and move you to tears and make you laugh. Maybe even all at the same time. 🫶

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azure-steel · 10 months ago

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@ghostofnibelheim asked:

"Can you eat these?" Four lonely and dry words make the spell by which the war hero dispels the heavy and dreary silence of the lounge room of the 49th floor.

Standing tall and imposing before the small infantryman, he holds up a single chicken egg.

Hopefully, a hard-boiled one

There was always something so fundamentally tedious about sentry duty. No one enjoyed just standing around in one spot for hours on end until your brain dissolved in your headcase. But today was special, super special in fact. So very few infantrymen are bestowed the hour of guarding the 49th floor lounge.

And even few the honour of being approached by one Sephiroth SOLDIER First Class. Ah, Cloud could feel the light fizz of the stars in his eyes when Sephiroth not only approached and gave address, but also offered a gift.

Albeit an egg.

The blonde's stand-to-attention was cut drastically short as he regarded the question, but also this offering which... seemed to still have the shell on.

"I... uh... I mean... hmm..." It was the best Cloud could muster in the moment, a myriad questions raced through his tiny mind in response to the request posed to him just now.

'Why is the shell still on...?' 'This doesn't sound like an order, am I okay to say no?' 'But this is Sephiroth SOLDIER First Class, my idol and superior, is denying him seen as a crime? Will I go to jail?' 'But if I do take it, just how much pain am I going to be in if Heidegger finds out I've been eating on the job...?'

Amidst the panic now beginning to froth into the infantryman's gullet there had to be a miscommunication between his brain and his basic motor-functions as he would simply reach out, take the egg with it's shell still on and just cram the thing into his mouth. There was a lot to be said about instinctual compulsion, that was for sure, and there was plenty to regret in that moment he would never be able to take back.

The crack of that shell grinding against his teeth was utterly revolting, the cold white and the yolk on his tongue equally as nauseating. It must have shown on his face; that down turned scowl to his mouth, the almost (but not quite) tearful expression in his eye How he was able to resist his gag reflex as he swallowed it down, shell and all had to be commendable, surely!

The egg... Cloud was going to be tasting that thing on his tongue and feeling it in his throat for next week.

It was RAW!!!

#ghostofnibelheim #Verse: Always an infantryman never a SOLDIER #ShinRa AU

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chaos-has-theories · 2 months ago

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According to Freud, the family romance first takes shape at a time when a child begins to liberate himself from parental authority... He fancies himself the child of a prominent statesman, a millionaire, an aristocratic landowner-of a person appointed with the very qualities in which his own parents seem most wanting... Freud further observed that although the new, exalted parents are equipped with the attributes of the actual, humble parents and that the child's family romance thus reflects nostalgia for the days when his own mother and father seemed the most noble persons on earth (and when he basked in the light of their glory), he identified an element of revenge and retaliation in the minds of these young romancers. Nostalgia and revolt, exaltation and debasement, reconciliation and revenge: these are the twin motors driving the family romance.

Tatar, Maria. "3. VICTIMS AND SEEKERS. The Family Romance of Fairy Tales". The Hard Facts of the Grimms' Fairy Tales: Expanded Edition, Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2019, pp. 74

Giving Siegmund Freud access to a Tapas account just to see what happens

#*grinds teeth* i guess not everything that man said was complete nonsense #this isn't a slight of tapas romances I wouldn't know this if I didn't read them #but. yeah #chaos rambles #atu 425c #<- bc I found this paper while looking for beauty and the beast stuff #and you know what? yeah #see i posit that b&tb is very much about this. it's all about the transfer between the house of the father and the husband #and figuring out which one is truly home. which one is the monster. which one is more cruel #the beast who demanded a wife. or the father who let his daughter go #+ obviously the sisters who try to get her killed out of jealousy

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disco-elysium-via-polls · 10 months ago

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Wow, you're right, I really *am* just in it for the violence!

LA FUMÉE, VOL 1. NO. 4- You see? One cannot avoid the conclusion that TipTop Tournée is simply the apotheosis of "spectacular" entertainment under capitalism.

"Kim, did you know TipTop Tournée is actually an orgiastic ritual of capitalistic destruction? I had no idea!"

"Kim, this article says that no one really watches TipTop Tournée for the races."

KIM KITSURAGI - "I can safely say the thought had never crossed my mind, detective." The lieutenant furrows his brow.

"I wonder what *else* is really just a metaphor for life under capitalism."

"It's too bad. I thought I liked TipTop."

KIM KITSURAGI - "I'm sure most things are, if the young men who wrote this article are to be believed."

"If I had to wager, I'd say they've never even *seen* the inside of a motor, much less a motor race. I'd take whatever they write with a large grain of salt."

LA FUMÉE, VOL 1. NO. 4 - You flip back to the front of the magazine. The table of contents unfolds before you.

4. Let's see what they mean by 'Local Concerns'.

LA FUMÉE, VOL 1. NO. 4 - Unsurprisingly, much of this section is taken up with articles declaring unqualified support for the dockworkers' strike.

You skim the headlines: 'Paint the Harbour Red and White!', 'Martinaise Tames the Wild Pines', 'A City in Revolt', 'First We Take Martinaise, Then We Take La Delta!'.

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #gaston martin

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sensoryloss · 4 months ago

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is the post you just made about nsfw anime writers serious or joking im so so sorry i genuinely cannot tell

let me put it like this

if I had the choice of having a kid with zero-motor functions, someone that could be defined as a genetic dead-end (meaning zero chance for carrying out a lineage of their own), or having a kid who grows up to write stories in their spare time (all of their time) about getting gaped by Pokémon, I would choose a life dedicated to keeping my bed-bound life-lottery loser alive as long as possible by any means necessary regardless of cost, because at least in this scenario I know that this is how things are going to be their whole life, start to finish, and that there’s nothing I could’ve done differently to prevent this outcome, whereas the latter is something I would spend a quarter century nurturing and only to one day discover that, not only are they also a genetic dead-end (by choice), but to also discover they’ve dedicated their time, self-defined “talent,” and physi-chemical procreational energies to revolting dramatized incestual rape stories between them and various cartoon characters, which would cause a death spiral of guilt in regards to all the things I did wrong as a parent for this to happen followed by a serious investigation on the easiest method to facilitate a Canadian citizenship to enroll them into the MAID program for the betterment of society.

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kaijuboarcreations · 2 years ago

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Into the Andersonverse: A full timeline of events for the confirmed continuity of Gerry Anderson Supermarionation shows (Fireball XL5 to Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons)

(Disclaimer*: i actually opted to follow Thunderbirds are Go canon for ages *don't ask me why it's a process plus the actual ages and birth order for the boys is heavily debated in both the og series and are go so don't at me* Also yes I took a few creative liberties to fill in some blanks they are marked by ** so you know what isn't canon, and yes it doesn't always make sense *aka how Venus is a war orphan if the war ended before she was born* but you can't blame me for that, that's just how it was written)

Anyways yall better love me for this it took me three days to make

1988: Sally "Grandma" Tracy is born (maiden name unknown)

2012: Professor Mathew Matic is born in Britain -Aloysius "Nosey" Parker is born - Jeff Tracy is born in Kansas to Grant and Sally Tracy**

2015: Commander Sam Shore (real name Samuel Arthur)is born in Kansas

2017: Charles Grey (Colonel White) is born in England

2028: European Atomic War and Mass Riots in France

2029: Conrad Turner (Captain Black) is born in Manchester, England

2030: Steve Zodiac is born on Mars -Sam Shore leaves home to join the navy

2031: Edward Wilkie (Dr Fawn) is born in Yalumba, Australia

2033: Professor Matic graduates with 22 degrees in astrophysics, robotic, and astronomy, and becomes a navigator for Zero-X interplanetary missions -Sam Shore is given command of a World Security Service submarine -Bradley Holden (Captain Gray) is born in Chicago

2034: Sam Shore befriends Admiral Jack Denver -Patrick Donaghue (Captain Magenta) is born in Dublin Bay, Ireland -The European Atomic War ends (the war left Venus and Conrad Turner orphaned)

2035: Venus is born in Paris -George Lee "Phones" Sheridan is born in South Carolina -Adam Svenson (Captain Blue) is born in Boston -Richard Fraiser (Captain Ochre) is born in Detroit

2036: Paul Metcalfe (Captain Scarlet) is born in Hampshire, England

2037: Jeff Tracy becomes a Colonel for the US Air Force and later transfers to the Space Agency -Patrick Donaghue and his parents immigrate to the US, living in poverty in Manhattan

2038: Troy Tempest is born in New York City -Jeff Tracy marries Lucielle** -Charles Grey graduates from the University of East Angila -Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward is born to Sir Hugh and Lady Amelia**

2040: War damage fixed -Sam Shore marries Elaine MacDonald -Scott Tracy is born**

-"Brains" is born -The Southeast Asia revolts -Juliette Pontoin (Destiny Angel) is born in Paris

2041: Atlanta Shore is born from Elaine and Sam in California -Seymour Griffiths (Lieutenant Green) is born in Trinidad

2042: John Tracy is born** -The Iceland Dispute -The Panama-Ithsmus rebellion begins -Karen Wainwright (Symphony Angel) is born in Cedar Rapids -Chan Kwan (Harmony Angel) is born in Tokyo

2043: The Panama-Ithsmus rebellion ends -Magnolia Jones (Melody Angel) is born in Atlanta -Dianne Simms (Rhapsody Angel) is born in London

2044: Virgil Tracy is born**

2045: Professor Matic takes the role as a professor for Universe University -Conrad Turner joins the British Air Force

2046: Marina is born -Gordon Tracy is born** -Charles Grey moves up to the rank of 'Captain' -The British Civil War begins (during which Conrad Turner is badly wounded)

2047: Steve Zodiac joints WSP Academy -Tanusha "Kayo" Kyrano/Tintin Kyrano is born** -Britain joins the World Government -Charles Grey becomes Admiral while commanding the World Navy Destroyer fleet -Conrad Turner joins the World Air Force

2048: Charles Grey joins the Universal Secret Service and marries his field partner Elizabeth Sonmers -Edward Wilkie starts medical school in Brisbane

2049: the British sector of the USS is reorganized by Charles Grey

2050: Professor Matic designs and builds the world's first Nutomic Hyperdrive Motor and is given an honorary position as Major while heading the XL project -Alan Tracy is born** -Charles Grey is promoted to the head of the USS British sector

2051: Steve Zodiac becomes an astronaut and sub-lieutenant at Space City -Prototypes of the XL project are debuted including XL1 Alpha -Adam Svenson receives a full ride scholarship to Harvard University at age 16

2052: the Anti-Bereznik Riots (of which Patrick Donaghue was involved where he was later arrested and imprisoned for 90 days)

2053: Steve Zodiac befriends space explorer Jim Ireland who sets off on a 10 year voyage -Seymour Griffiths loses his parents in an air disaster

2054: Richard Fraiser joins the World Government Police Corps after being rejected from university and the Air Force -Bradley Holden graduates from the World Navy Academy in San Diego immediately enlisting in the World Navy submarine service

2055: Steve is promoted to captain and is assigned to co-pilot Fireball XL5 -Conrad Turner joins the World Space Patrol and mans Fireball XL3 -Adam Svenson joins the World Aeronautic Society as a test pilot -Patrick Donaghue finishes his studies and graduates from Yale University with degrees in physics, electrical engineering, and technology and he takes a job as a computer programmer for a firm in Brooklyn but soon quit for a life of crime -Edward Wilkie graduates from Brisbane with degrees in medicine and biology and joins the Australian sector of the World Medical Organization as assistant medical controler. Later that same year he is promoted to health controller of the Scandinavian sector.

2056: Venus joins the World Space Patrol -Colonel Grange suffers a mental breakdown while piloting Fireball XL5 leaving Steve to bring them to safety -Marina's mother dies -Troy Tempest joins the World Navy Academy in San Diego -Lucielle Tracy passes away

2057: All Fireball XL ships are outfitted with the Nutomic Hyperdrive Motor -Paul Metcalfe graduates from Winchester University with degrees in History, Technology, and Mathematics -Adam Svenson is promoted to active field agent for WAS -Patrick Donaghue becomes a kingpin for organized crime in New York due to his leadership over several gangs and hacking abilities -Edward Wilkie revolutionizes the WMO's medical technology through robots which places him in the position of Administrator for Advancements in Medicine and Medical Science -Juliette Pontoin attends University in Rome

2058: Elaine Shore suffers a heart attack and passes away -Phones takes on work as a mercenary -Karen Wainwright attends Yale University at age 16

-Lady Penelope becomes chief operative of the Federal Agents Beareu where she meets Jeff Tracy (wait...... F.A.B..... so that's what that stands for....)

2059: Paul Metcalf begins study at West Point Military University in New York -Richard Fraiser transfers to Chicago and takes on one of the toughest crime syndicates in the country

2060: An attack on his vessel causes Sam Shore to lose use of his legs. He and Atlanta move to Marineville to command the World Aquanaut Security Patrol (which is newly established)

-Gordon Tracy interns with WASP** -Troy Tempest is captured on a failed mission and is rescued by Phones who he convinces to join the navy -Troy Tempest arrives at WASP Marineville -Juliette Pontoin joins the World Army Air Force and is transferred to the Intelligence Corps where she hones her skills as a pilot, leads the Woman's Fighter Squadron

2061: Magnolia Jones joins the World Army Airforce at age 18

-Gordon Tracy suffers an accident while working with a high speed hydrofoil**

2062: the start of the events of Fireball XL5 -Jeff Tracy establishes International Rescue -Seymour Griffiths graduates University in Kingston Jamaica with degrees in telecommunications, technology, and music and joins WASP as a junior hydrophone operator (his brothers followed but were killed in an accident which Seymour transferred as a telecommunications operator at Marineville) -Bradley Holden joins WASP as the Lieutenant commander security chief and takes the role of piloting Stingray in her prototype years -Karen Wainwright becomes a full fledged field agent for Universal Secret Service after several years of training -Magnolia Jones becomes lost while taking the XKF 115 aircraft on a test flight and loses contact with control -Chan Kwan graduates University and is determined to fly solo around the world

2063: Venus earns a degree in Space Psychology -Steve Zodiac is awarded Astronaut of the Year -Paul Metcalfe graduates from West Point and joins the World Air Force -Juliette Pontoin leaves WAAF to start her own pilot contracting firm -Magnolia Jones returns after being lost for almost a year after rebuilding her craft from the wreckage. She shortly leaves to focus on flying and setting up a freelance air taxi service -Dianne Simms meets Lady Penelope and is offered a position in the FAB to train as an agent

2064: Bradley Holden receives a severe back injury taking him out of the line to duty and landing him a desk job at Marineville -Troy Tempest becomes captain of Stingray and takes on Phones as his co-pilot -Chan Kwan attempts her voyage around the world but stops to answer a distress call to rescue a group of men from a burning tanker ship in the Pacific. Six months later she tries again and succeeds

2065: the events of Thunderbirds begins -the Spectrum Organization is established and Charles Grey turns down the position of Supreme Commander of the USS to take on his role as "Colonel White" for Spectrum under the Spectrum Selection Committee -Seymour Griffiths joins Spectrum under the codename "Lieutenant Green" -Conrad Turner joins Spectrum under the codename "Captain Black" and quickly climbs the ranks as Spectrum's top agent -Paul Metcalfe joins Spectrum under the code name "Captain Scarlet" (thanks to recommendation from Conrad) -Adam Svenson joins Spectrum under the code name "Captain Blue" -Patrick Donaghue is pardoned for his crimes and is offered a position as an agent of Spectrum under the code name "Captain Magenta" -Dr Edward Wilkie is approached by Spectrum to become the Supreme Medical Commander of Cloudbase and given the codename "Doctor Fawn" -Juliette Pontoin is approached to join Spectrum's squadron of fighter pilots and is given the codename "Destiny Angel" -Magnolia Jones is selected by Spectrum as a fighter pilot and is given the codename "Melody Angel" -Lady Penelope quits her role in the FAB to focus on her work with International Rescue. The FAB dissolves soon after. -Dianne Simms is forced to leave the FAB and becomes a chief security officer for the Euro-Charter Airline company -Chan Kwan's father dies and she takes over the family air taxi company 2066: Richard Fraiser fakes assassination and joins Spectrum under the code name "Captain Ochre" -Bradley Holden clears a health check under Spectrum and is recruited as an agent under the codename "Captain Gray"

-Karen Wainwright quits her work with the USS to become a pilot full time. Shortly after she passes her exam to join Spectrum and joins the Angel squadron under the codename "Symphony Angel" -Dianne Simms is approached by Spectrum to join the Angel squadron and is given the codename "Rhapsody Angel"

-Chan Kwan is approached by the Spectrum Selection Committee to become an Angel pilot, in which she is accepted and given the codename "Harmony Angel"

2068: the events of Thunderbirds end and the events of Captain Scarlet begin (the Mysterons declare war on Earth after the Zero X Mars expedition comes across their settlement and attacks)

#gerry anderson #Supermarionation #fireball xl5 #stingray 1964 #Thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #captain scarlet and the mysterons

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tyrantofthefirmament · 2 years ago

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*Kneels* My dear luminous lord Starscream, I wouldn’t normally think to bother your sonorous self with such a tiny question, but seeing as other humans are speaking freely.. I wouldn’t dare throw away an opportunity to be in your stunning presence. Might I ask if rust is similar to human gangrene?

As I'm not extremely familiar with humans and their various ailments, I had to look that up. Thank you. It was revolting.

I suppose an extremely severe rust infection bears some similarities to gangrene, though there are key differences. Rust in general is an inexact match to how contaminants affect organic life, but it it does serve to talk about it as an infection. The result of bad rusting is similar to gangrene, but why it happens and how it affects our bodies overall are different.

Most rust infections are minor irritations caused by abrasion or acid damaging our surfaces and allowing our metals to oxidize (or even react with other chemicals, which isn't technically rust but we do call it rust infection outside of technical medical contexts, for the sake of simplicity). It only causes an infection if it happens faster than our self repair nanites can repair it. Once the injury is cleaned, our nanites are usually capable of restoring the damaged metal on their own. Any well stocked first aid kit has salves containing metals and blank, programable nanites to speed up the process. Your own nanites will assimilate the blank ones and copy repair instructions onto them, then break them down and recycle them once they complete their task. In a proper hospital setting, additional nanites can be programmed with your full specs to carry out more sophisticated repairs.

Sometimes a rust infection can get out of control, and that is similar to gangrene. It is possible to lose parts of your frame entirely, and it can be life threatening if it spreads to your Spark chamber, fuel pump, processor, or certain structures in between. However, nearly all of our parts are replaceable, unlike humans, and rust is extremely slow spreading (this doesn't apply to Cosmic Rust, which is not a true rust but a virus, and can disintegrate a bot in a matter of hours). It usually begins on the outside of our frames and takes so long to get to any vital components that it's rarely considered an emergency. We would certainly never chop off a limb to keep rust from spreading, and our Energon lines can't carry the infection to other parts of our bodies the way human blood can.

Gangrene is caused by either loss of blood or a severe bacterial infection, and there are analogous factors in rust infections, though they are not the root cause.

Lack of Energon flow to an area does mean repair nanites can't get there, thus making the area more susceptible to abrasion and chemical reactions, though in itself it can't cause a part of our frames to die. Energon is our lifeblood, but as long as we have a supply to our Spark chamber and processor, the rest of our bodies will still function using wiring, motors, and hydraulics. It must be said though, it feels off when you don't have Energon directly interacting with power systems and sensors throughout your frame. I'd compare it to the feeling when you get a limb replaced and it hasn't been fully calibrated.

Outside contamination is also a cause of rust infections, though there is nothing that infests our bodies like bacteria, causing our metal to die and rust (apart from viruses, again). It is possible to get a rust infection from being in rusty areas such as ruins or the Sea of Rust, especially in damp weather, but that is only because of the abrasive nature of that much powdered rust, which creates sites for oxidization and other reactions to start. Damp weather makes it worse because our precipitation is caustic if it touches you, and it also frees up oxygen that is normally bound into the metals that comprise our world. Cybertron normally has very little oxygen in the air since it has no oceans and was never infested with cyanobacteria and algae. It is ideal for robotic life.

Even with the comparable factors of Energon loss and contamination at play, it takes a very long time to have a surface rust patch develop into anything approaching gangrene, unless your repair systems are entirely comprised. Before the war, only miners in deep caverns and workers who processed raw metals in unsafe factories saw many bad rust infections. The Council and caste overseers never addressed the problem because those mecha were considered replaceable. Once the war started, many more Cybertronians got a taste of such conditions, once our civilization crumbled and armies lived and fought amongst the ruins in all kinds of weather. There were worse things than rust out there, to be sure, but it was a constant battle to keep our units well maintained.

One factor that can cause rust infections to worsen quickly but doesn't play a direct role in gangrene is malnutrition. Our nanites need a supply of dissolved metals and mineral in our Energon in order to repair our frames, and without it, we can rust even if Energon is making its way to all our extremities. Not consuming enough Energon, or consuming Energon that has been overly refined or else left raw, can all contribute to poor nanite production and utilization. Raw Energon also typically has a high acid content if it's liquid, which can wreck your filters and use up all your nanites just trying to repair that initial damage, exacerbating other rust patches that you would likely have if you were out in the wild drinking Energon out of the ground, presumably not in the best shape to begin with...

#headcanons fire away!#cybertronian medicine #starscream has experience with bad rust infections #after the predacons chewed him up and he crashed in a canyon he was immobile and malnourished and had a lot of injuries for rust happen in #once he got repaired it still took a while for his self repair system to strengthen and stabilize his alloys #he has a lot of scarring but it's all sanded and painted so you can't tell

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