#revising monster classes

[autumnmobile12]

Odysseus and Calypso Were Lovers

As problematic as that sounds because WTF, hear me out because it's complicated and there's a lot to discuss. Trigger warning for sa. Also, not directly Epic: The Musical related; that's a whole other ballpark.

She trapped him on her island!

I'm not denying that nor am I denying how objectively messed up that is.

However, the captor and prisoner trope is one that does crop up in Greek mythology now and then.  The most famous example I can think of is Hades’ kidnapping of Persephone.  I have seen that situation blatantly called rape in the original story, and yet today, modern storytellers do like to revise that myth into a version that makes Demeter out to be an overbearing mother and Persephone's ‘kidnapping’ so to speak becomes an escape.  Personally, I think that is a very graceful way to make a barbaric story a bit more palatable to modern audiences.

So regarding Odysseus’ situation where falling in love with his captor is problematic…my thought process runs as, “Fucking Greek mythology and its weird idea of what constitutes as a love story.”

As a result, I have no serious thoughts on the morality of certain figures of Greek mythology because they frankly come from a time period where the people had a very different culture and set of moral values and ideas on what was acceptable. Therefore, it's futile to judge their stories by my own modern moral compass.

Where in The Odyssey does it say they were lovers?

The main line I can't ignore that strongly implies the nature of their relationship is Odysseus' farewell to Calypso:

“The sun went down and brought the darkness on. They  [Odysseus and Calypso] went inside the hollow cave and took the pleasure of their love, held close together.”  - The Odyssey, Homer, translated by Emily Wilson.

Keep in mind, she’s already told him he’s free to go.  He’s free to build his raft, she’s giving him supplies, and yet he says goodbye this tenderly.  Note the absence of Calypso using magic to compel him. If you cherry-picked this line, you'd find a fond goodbye.

Odysseus’ Tears

A lot of people making the ‘Odysseus/Calypso was a non-consensual situation’ argument like to cite the line that Odysseus cried every day on Ogygia.  And yes, he did weep every day he was there.  But this is the full stanza.

“On the tenth black night, the gods carried me till I reached the island of Ogygia, home of the beautiful and mighty goddess Calypso.  Lovingly she cared for me, vowing to set me free from death and time forever.  But she never swayed my heart.  I stayed for seven years; she gave me clothes like those of gods, but they were always wet with tears.” - The Odyssey, Homer, translated by Emily Wilson.

‘Beautiful and mighty….Lovingly she cared for me….she never swayed my heart.’  He speaks highly of her, not with hate or venom for her delaying him.

In my literature class where we read The Odyssey, the tears line was discussed and largely interpreted as Odysseus’ reaction to all the monsters he’d faced and losing all his crew and friends.  The PTSD of a war veteran.  From the cultural mindset of Ancient Greece, Odysseus was a king, and he failed his people when they all died under his command and he was unable to bring them home.  Similarly, the hero Theseus was once king of Athens.  He was usurped in absentia (Theseus being trapped in the Underworld at the time) and when he returned to his kingdom, he found another man on his throne, was forced to flee, and died a rather ignoble death when a supporter of his usurper shoved him off a cliff.  So Odysseus being a king who let an entire fleet die under his watch is certainly grounds for shame to the point of tears in the eyes of the Ancient Greeks.  And with an entire line-up of men attempting to court his wife and take his place, it drives home the idea that he was replaceable.

Also important to note:  He’s still miserable when he leaves Ogygia.  When he arrives at King Alcinous’ court, he is welcomed, provided food, shelter, and entertainment, but when the king checks in with his heartbroken guest, he pleads with him to tell him what’s wrong, which kickstarts the telling of Odysseus’ journey.

Odysseus was afraid of Calypso!

That said, it's also important to address this concept because this is Odysseus' reaction to the goddess telling him she is sending him on his way to Ithaka:

‘Goddess, your purpose cannot be as you say; you cannot intend to speed me home. You tell me to make myself a raft to cross the great gulf of ocean--a gulf so baffling and so perilous that not even rapid ships will traverse it, steady though they may be and favoured by a fair wind from Zeus. I will not set foot on such a raft unless I am sure of your good will--unless, goddess, you take on yourself to swear a solemn oath not to plot against me any new mischief to my ruin.’ The Odyssey, Homer, translated by Shewring.

His suspicion certainly suggests mistrust and fear that she intends to do him harm, and considering his track record of being hated by deities, that's understandable. This isn't exactly what you'd call a loving relationship. But this also brings up a weird contradiction in the poem. I would 100% say this was a completely non-consensual situation were it not for this line:

His eyes were always tearful; he wept sweet life away, in longing to go back home, since she [Calypso] no longer pleased him. - Wilson.

Not ‘she did not please him.’  She no longer pleased him.  That implies she 'pleased' him at one point and because of that, one could argue Calypso was a mistress and Odysseus eventually tired of her. (Probably long before seven years had passed.)

What Do The Translators Say?

I can't speak for all translators, but in the Emily Wilson translation, she includes a lengthy introduction describing Odysseus' world, the culture of Ancient Greece, the reasoning behind specific English wordage in the translation, etc. In the introduction, she refers to Calypso and Circe as Odysseus' affairs. Not his abusers. He also has a brief flirtation with Princess Nausicaa, the daughter of his final host, King Alcinous. Wilson then goes on to describe how these affairs are not a character failing of Odysseus in comparison to the treatment of Penelope where she is expected to be faithful and how that is indicative of a good woman.

Taking a step back from Greek mythology, consider the actions of King Henry VIII of England. Most historians agree that, for the first few years, the king's relationship with his first wife Katherine of Aragon was unusually good for the times. And yet he was an unfaithful husband, had at least one acknowledged bastard and historians speculate there were more. But while 'indiscretions' such as this were frowned upon in the Tudor Period, Henry VIII did not receive near as much criticism as Queen Katherine would have if she'd had an illegitimate child. If Katherine was 'indiscreet,' that was considered treason because she compromised the legitimacy of the succession and that was cause for a beheading.

Because misogyny. Again, different time, different moral values.

Misogyny in The Odyssey

Whatever one's thoughts on Calypso are, it is incredibly misogynistic of Homer to solely blame her for keeping Odysseus trapped while he conveniently ignores the plot hole that her island is completely surrounded by ocean and we all know that Poseidon was lurking out there just waiting for his shot at vengeance.  Odysseus is barely two stanzas off Calypso’s island before Poseidon goes after him.  It’s almost hilarious how quickly it happens.  The poem says Poseidon was returning from Ethiopia, not that he was there for the whole seven years, and Hermes clearly did not pass along the memo that Odysseus was free to return to Ithaka.  Although I like to imagine it was Zeus who forgot about Poseidon’s grudge against Odysseus, and Hermes, being the mischievous scamp that he is, did not remind him.

If one line in the text says Odysseus/Calypso was consensual while another says otherwise, which is it?

Honestly, I don't think there's a conclusive answer with just The Odyssey. I'm a hobbyist, not an expert, so I do refer to the judgment of translators like Wilson to make that call. If she and other translators say Calypso and Circe were affair partners and I can see the lines in the text to support that, I'll believe it and chalk up the rest as Greek mythology being problematic.

That said, we can also look at the opinions of other Greek poets in their further writings of the mythology:

“And the bright goddess Calypso was joined to Odysseus in sweet love, and bare him Nausithous and Nausinous.” - The Theogony; Of Goddesses and Men, Hesiod, translated by Evelyn-White.

“… after brief pleasure in wedlock with the daughter of Atlas [Calypso], he [Odysseus] dares to set foot in his offhand vessel that never knew a dockyard and to steer, poor wretch…” - Alexandra, Lycophron, translated by Mair.

Both seem to be of the opinion Calypso was Odysseus' lover.

Interestingly, Hesiod also writes in The Catalogues of Women Fragment:

“…of patient-souled Odysseus whom in aftertime Calypso the queenly nymph detained for Poseidon.” - The Catalogues of Women Fragment, Hesiod, translated by Evelyn-White.

The wording ‘detained for Poseidon’ implies Calypso was acting at Poseidon’s command or she was doing the sea god a favor or she possibly didn't have any free will herself whether or not Odysseus stayed on Ogygia. Either way, it does neatly account for Homer's aforementioned misogyny/plot hole.

But if Hesiod and Lycophron's works are not part of The Odyssey, why should we take them seriously?

You don't have to consider them canon. Just because I prefer to consider all mythology canon doesn't mean anyone else does. Just as easily, I could ask why we should take Homer's work seriously even though historians can't even agree whether or not he was a real person.

The truth is, Ancient Greece as we think of it lasted a thousand years.  Their culture/values changed several times and so did their stories to reflect those changes, and those stories continue to evolve to the modern day. Odysseus himself goes through a few different descriptions over the centuries, being described as scheming and even cruel in other works. So I consider modern works like Percy Jackson, Epic: The Musical, Son of Zeus, and so on to be just more cogs in the evolving narrative. Much like how retellings of Hades and Persephone are shifting to circumstances easier to accept by audiences today.

But why would Odysseus be unfaithful to his loving wife?

The loving wife he claimed as payment for helping out King Tyndareus? Yeah...Odysseus and Penelope's relationship may not quite be the undoubted loving one modern retellings make it out to be nor is Odysseus a saint in The Odyssey.

“A blast of wind pushed me [Odysseus] off course towards the Cicones in Ismarus.  I sacked the town and killed the men.  We took their wives and shared their riches equally amongst us.”  - The Odyssey, Homer, translated by Emily Wilson.

Raiding a town unprovoked, killing the men, kidnapping the women, stealing their treasure is not indicative to what we in the modern day consider heroic or good protagonist behavior. Also, at the end of the Trojan War, Queen Hekuba was made a slave and given to Odysseus.

As for the chapter with Circe, Penelope's name isn't even mentioned. Moreover, the wording of the Wilson translation gives the troubling connotation that Circe may have been the one who was assaulted.

Hermes’ instructions to Odysseus are as follows:

"...draw your sharpened sword and rush at her as if you mean to kill her. She will be frightened of you, and will tell you to sleep with her." - Wilson

She'll be frightened of him? Hermes is encouraging Odysseus to render Circe powerless by eating the Moly plant so she can't turn him into a pig, then threaten her with a sword, which does frighten her, and then sleep with her. That line of events is disturbing. Circe is the one who offers to take Odysseus to bed, sure, but there’s a strange man in her house, she’s allegedly afraid according to Hermes, and she’s unable to resort to her usual defense and turn him into a pig as she did with the others.  Under those circumstances, sleeping with an invader is a survival tactic.

However...after Odysseus makes Circe promise to turn his men back, she bathes him and gives him food like a proper Ancient Greek host. Yet before Odysseus accepts the meal, he puts his men first, saying he can't bear to eat until he knows they're well. So Circe turns them back, then Odysseus returns to where the rest of the crew are waiting on the shore. They're all convinced their comrades are dead until Odysseus tells them what transpired and they rejoice. All except suspicious Eurylochus who calls them fools for trusting Odysseus' word based on his previous bad decisions. Odysseus thinks about cutting his head off for speaking that way. Damn, that went from zero to a hundred fast.

But Penelope's name is missing from the story.

Odysseus only thinks of leaving Circe's island when his men speak of returning to their homeland, after which he goes to Circe about the matter, and she instructs him to go to the Underworld.

"That broke my heart, and sitting on the bed I wept, and lost all will to live and see the shining sun." - Wilson

Odysseus and his men all lament the idea of sailing into the land of the dead. So his tears and despair did not start with Calypso. Also, they return to Circe's island after the journey so she can help them make sense of Tiresias' instructions.

But setting all that aside, even when Hermes instructed him on what to do, Odysseus didn't make some grand speech on how he can’t betray his wife.  He doesn’t specifically say he’s crying for Penelope on Calypso’s island.  He doesn’t mention Penelope at all, and when King Alcinous asks him about his sorrow, Odysseus tells his whole story, barely bringing up his wife or his love for her.

So is Odysseus a good guy?

In all, Odysseus is a clever character who is known for using his wits to get out of any situation.  Polyphemus, the Sirens, Scylla, he had a plan.  The idea that he’s suddenly helpless against Calypso and Circe is out of character.  They may be goddesses, but they’re not exactly the heavy hitters of the pantheon, which is why Poseidon could absolutely order a minor sea nymph to stop what she’s doing and hold a man prisoner for him. And while Odysseus spends the entire story being thwarted by the gods, one could say he also thwarts the gods right back by refusing to give up.

Like most Greek heroes, I would say Odysseus is not what we today would call a hero. But when he shares a roster with characters like this:

Zeus:  Serial rapist

Poseidon:  Serial rapist

Hades:  Kidnapped Persephone (setting aside modern interpretations she went with him willingly)

Herakles:  Raped a princess named Auge  (Yes, really.)

Theseus:  Kidnapped Helen of Sparta when she was a child because he wanted to marry a daughter of Zeus, aided and abetted his cousin in an attempt to kidnap Persephone, abandoned Ariadne, etc.

Jason the Argonaut:  Tried to abandon his wife. (I say ‘try’ because he didn’t get the chance. His wife Medea killed the other woman first.)

Hephaistos:  Raped Athena after she refused him.

Achilles:  Murdered a child to prevent a prophecy from coming true.

...Odysseus's atrocities are weirdly tame by comparison. Even the narrative where he kills the infant Prince Astyanax, modern retellings usually give that role to the lesser known Neoptolemus. More on that here.

In the end, it's not necessarily thematically important whether or not Odysseus is good or bad. The core of his character revolves around his cleverness and ability to build and strategize and make his own way in the world he lives in. Rounding this out is Emily Wilson's commentary on the symbolism behind the tree bed,

"In leaving Calypso, Odysseus chooses something that he built with his own mind and hands, rather than something given to him. Whereas Calypso longs to hide, clothe, feed, and possess him, Athena enables Odysseus to construct his own schemes out of the materials she provides." - The Odyssey, Homer, trans. by Emily Wilson, Introduction Pg 64.

So were Odysseus and Calypso lovers?

Based on the above, my opinion is 'Yes they were, but with the caveat they were problematic af.' Because problematic themes like that are pretty par for the course in Greek mythology.

[niechys]

Now how does one know if an ask has been eaten? but I guess nevermind? I also did a few revision so I'm posting it here is stead.

So, this is a bit of my spin on @keferon #tf mecha universe. Basically an au of Transformers francise where some of the characters are human who pilot robot but some are still Cybertronian and how they interact.

First Aid is a medic turned pilot who pilot a mech haunted by Vortex.

I think we haven't explore a lot about First Aid being a freak. So Ima take some time to do just that. This should go back to before First Aid got used to connecting to Vortex.

Also an excuse to write some gore. I totally wasn't going for that but I guess I needed it.

Also probaly lots of grammar errors incoming.

----------------

It was in biology class when he first got to dissect an animal at school. His friends had looked at him weird because he was a little too enthusiastic about it. Most kids were curious alright, but he already knew these stuff. He read in the books and was ecstatic to see the real thing, to cut the real thing apart.

After that He learned to keep it down. To hide the sparkle in his eyes even as he entered medical school. People don't cut things open for fun. Even if he did it for study, he shouldn't be having fun doing it.

---

It started with a soft mumble.

Felix curled into a ball on the pilot seat, knees hugged tight to his chest. Restraint in place but not connected to the neural link, not touching the controls. Watching intently as Vortex sliced through monsters' limbs.

It was one of his early mission as a pilot. Hot Rod was sent out with him. The red mech fighting several hundred meters to his right. The Quintesson had sent monsters with long, jointed legs and tentacle. They looked like someone cross bred a spider crab with an octopus with a hundred arms. Except they are the size of a big building. A bunch of them together look like mountains were moving to meet them.

Vortex's twin blades cut through tentacle, splashing green blood everywhere. Sometimes he wondered if Vortex got his callsign because of this move, twirled the two blades around himself, cutting everything in his path like a tornado.

The blade hit a hard plating on one of the legs. He had to pull back before going for another tentacle instead. Or hacked at the leg until it came off. It wasn't a big trouble for Vortex, but then he heard a small voice from inside his cockpit like a whisper.

"Hit the joint"

"Under there"

"That seam there"

First Aid was still curled up in a little ball on the pilot seat, watching. Something sparkle in those blue eyes behind his visor. Mouth mumbling occasionally, telling body parts or directions.

At first Vortex ignore the words. But when he started looking for the parts First Aid says and hit them, he realized it was more effective. It's like a weak spot had been pointed out.

Amidst the carnages, text appeared on the screen, overlaying the visuals.

[Stop backseating and connect to me]

"Huh..?" Felix asked, looking around as if he could see the ghost talking to him.

[Speaking is slow. Connect to me now or I feed you to big ugly over there]

Not wanting to test Vortex's patient, First Aid reached for the neural link with trembling hands and snap it to the connector on the back of his head.

He felt like he was falling, the next second he was standing outside, face to face with the monster. A threat. A living thing waiting to be diced up. His body made of metal, his sight are not just sight but sensors and infrared and targeting module.

Killed or be kill.

His mother dragging him along as they ran for the shelter.

Scalpel making precision cut on human flesh.

Kill it before it kill you.

His hands deep in someone's torso, Pharma lecturing through the process.

Blade cutting into flesh. His hand gripping the control, forcing it to cut through the bone.

Mangled body of another pilot in the seat he had to pry off.

Tentacle with barbed tip stabbing into the cockpit, into his face.

An alien's organ kept in quarantine.

Onslaught yelling at him.

Blood in his eyes.

Pain flaring through his body

The cockpit shook violently. The monster slammed into him.

'Concentrate'

The impact pulled First Aid back to the present. Vortex's voice echoed in his head. Then he realized he was seeing memories, both his own and Vortex's.

Slowing his breath, he concentrated on the sight before him. The crabtopus monster is still there, tentacle snaking onto his -Vortex's- midsection.

He looked at the tentacle, not where it coiled, but where it came out of the body. His blade stabbed at the base of it, twisted, sliced and the tentacle came free, falling slacked from Vortex.

'You aren't half bad for a medic'

Vortex's voice in his head. He almost panic again before remembering that he was connected to Vortex and not dead. He was still capable of thoughts.

And so First Aid looked on.

The giant monster was before him, preparing to strike again. They didn't just see the enemy. But analyzing it at the same time, even as they dodged the attack and raised blades to cut with renewed surgical precision.

He was seven years old when he cried his eyes out after taking a beetle apart and realized he couldn't put them back together alive. He never wanted anything to be hurt or die.

He just wanted to know how they works. What the inside were like. He wanted to open them up. If he know how they works, surely he would know how to save them, right?

Or know how to kill them better.

The blade penetrated the seams under hard shelled armor, then pried off the shell, revealing tender flesh underneath. The monster screamed, lashing at them with tentacles. They ignored the attack, instead, Vortex stabbed at the flesh repeatedly until the monster went still.

First Aid knowledge informed Vortex's action at the speed of thought. There was no need to think. They combined mind knew how to take this thing apart effectively.

Vortex was bleeding into him. First Aid was lost in a whirlwind of violence. They tore one monster to pieces and move on, hacked the limbs off the other before stabbing it through one of the joint, deep enough that the mech's arm went inside the body and tore out god knows what from the hole.

All the ones in front of them were gone. They turned, there was another monster, half of it on fire, trying to mow down the red mech. They grabbed it, peeled it from Hot Rod's mech and slammed it to the ground. Hot Rod backed away, swaying a little on his feet.

The fire slowly died down leaving a half cooked monster, screeching, writhing fruitlessly while being pinned to the ground with Vortex's blade.

'Where's the heart?'

'I think...here...'

'Haha! look at that, you're right!'

'So that's what it looks like....'

It was still squirming. Vortex step on the head and it cracked open, green liquid splattered out.

Insects are insects. No matter the size.

You can take them apart and never have to feel guilty ever again.

+++++

"---ome in. First Aid come in. This is Hot Rod. Can you hear me?"

'why don't you answer him before I hit that guy too. He's been calling for a while' Vortex speak in his head and he came back to himself.

"oh..."

First Aid took a while to realized Hot Rod was radioing him from his mech. The fire had died down, it seems that the other mech isn't in too bad a condition.

"Hot Rod. This.....This is First Aid. I can hear you"

"How's your condition?"

"I'm...I'm alright. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. You stole my last kill."

"I...um...sorry...."

"Nah. Also, don't forget to put that down before return to base"

First Aid looked down and saw that the monster's heart was still skewered on Vortex's blade.

'Why don't we keep it as trophy'

"Where am I gonna keep it? It's the size of a fridge"

"Pardon?" Hot Rod asked. First Aid was still on the radio.

"Sorry I was talking to my self. I....I will return in a bit. First Aid out'

With the radio off, First Aid leaned back and let out a long breath.

He just realized he was sweating. His hands squeezed the control so hard that they were trembling. When he could let go, his palm sting.

Vortex put the heart down, using the other blade to nudge it off, then cleaved it in half while First Aid watched.

'You like that, hm?'

"I......well....yeah" he was going to deny it. But Vortex probably saw everything already. "I just want to know, okay?"

'Sure, First Aid, sure' He can just hear the grin in Vortex's voice inside his head. He could only shake his head at it.

On the way back, First Aid feel for the link on the back of his neck and disconnect.

[What. Leaving already?]

"...I...just need some time. That whole thing just now was...."

[That whole thing just now was good. We make such a good team]

"How was that good... My head is still spinning. And how would I know you won't melt my brain"

[Your brain is too freaky to melt. I like it a lot.]

"What do you even mean by that"

But First Aid heard a rattling sound echoing from somewhere in the mech like a deep rasping laughter.

He couldn't sleep that night.

------

Once the battlefield has gone quiet, the mechs returned and parameters secured, the science team and rescue squads are dispatched.

They passed the mechs on the way back. Vortex lagging far behind the others, covered in green blood, blades still slicked with what ever was inside the alien guts. Every step shaking the earth beneath.

"Don't you think this is creepy?"

"What?"

"The aliens... they are in pieces.....".

"Well, think on the bright side. Sample extraction is really easy now. They even cut the organs out for us." That would be true. Except for the ones that was turned into mince meat.

"That doesn't make this any less creepy"

"I heard the pilot used to be a medic. Maybe that's why he cut them like this"

"Why did a medic decided to pilot that thing?"

"Beats me. Some people were saying Vortex chose him"

"Poor guy"

--------

Also I want First Aid to interact with other pilots. Hod Rod seems fitting and he hasn't show up a lot so here he is.

[disasterchild20]

Dating Him Would Include

James

Him showing off with a snitch

Stealing his hoodies, especially his quidditch one, and him loving it

“You comfy, Love?”

“Very… plus it smells like you.”

Cuddles. Lots of them

Always makes sure that pranks won’t get you

The marauders teasing him for it

Is always touching you in some way. Whether it be holding your hand, or gently brushing arms

Always checking in on you when he sees you, asking how your day has been or if you need something

Surprising you randomly with small gifts; flowers, chocolates, ect

Sirius

I’m always serious jokes

Arm always round you

“Siri, can you please be serious for one minute?”

“But, Darling, I’m always Sirius.”

Likes it when you play with his hair

Gets you to do his eyeliner

Randomly pulls you onto his lap, burying his face in your neck

Loves it when you ramble about what you’re passionate about

You wearing his quidditch jersey on game days and not giving it back

Painting each others nails

Remus

Sharing books and reading them together

Reading aloud to each other

Stealing his sweaters

Him pulling you into his chest when you’re sitting on the sofa together

Burying his face in your hair

“Is that my sweater?”

“…maybe…”

Eating chocolate in his dorm together

Telling him he could never be a monster

Nose kisses

Peter

Cuddles. Lots and lots of cuddles

Raising his sweet draw in his dorm

Him cuddling into your chest/neck

“I’m bored.”

“Okay… you want cuddles, don’t you?”

Loves you running your hands through his hair

Will kiss your cheek every time he sees you

Loves making you blush

Marauders all calling him a love sick puppy

Always asks for your help with homework or revision just to spend time with you

Evan

Always needing to be touching you in some way

Wraps his arms round you from behind and burying his face in your neck

Neck kisses

Him lying on you for cuddles

“You’re always so warm.”

“And you’re always so cuddly.”

“You playing with his rings

Love playing with your hair

Sneaks into the kitchen with you to bake cookies with you

Gets you flowers every weekend

Regulus

Speaks French to you

Forehead kisses

Let’s you draw on his hands and arms

“What are you drawing today, mon ami/e?”

“Stars and flowers, they represent you and me.”

Him letting you paint his nails, returning the favour

Takes you star gazing, telling you what stars are where and the stories behind them - making you wear his quidditch jumper if it’s cold

Writes you poetry, slipping them into your books

Links pinkies on the table when sat with you

Loves you playing with his curls

Barty

Loves putting his face in your neck when cuddling

Let’s you choose what earring he wears that day

Loves it when you read to him

Interested in your rambles

“Sorry, I’m rambling.”

“No, continue, I’m interested.”

Writes little notes and slips them into your pockets or bag

Let’s you do his makeup

Makes sure you’re eating while revising or doing homework

Asks your opinion on his outfits

Severus

Takes time to explain the theory behind potions to you

Loves holding hands

Plays with your fingers

Studying under trees together

“Told you this place is a perfect place to study.”

“It is, thank you for bringing me here.”

Blushes whenever you kiss his cheek

Sneaks snacks into your bag

Legs touching when sat together

Compare notes after class to see if the other has something different

Frank

Rambles about different plants

Let’s you name his plants

“This is Sally.”

“Okay, Sally can go between Brian and Samantha.”

Knuckle kisses whenever you’re holding hands

Gives you a flower everyday for two weeks leading up to your birthday

Helps you with Herbology if you need it

Buys you a small plant because you like helping him with his

Napping together

Cuddly when sleepy

[quirkwizard]

So between the popularity of the last D&D post I did and the upcoming revisions to D&D 5E, I thought it'd be fun to talk about Class 1-A and D&D again. This time, instead of playing D&D, this will be students in D&D. For this, I will be picking out classes and races that I believe fit them the most based on the descriptions and lore presented in the books. Official material only, so no Blood Hunter Tokoyami. However, characters and their "stats" will take precedent over Quirks. The Gravity Wizard is a thing, but I don't think that Uraraka would fit as a Wizard.

Sato-Half Orc Berserker Barbarian: A perfect encapsulation of Sato. A big ole beefcake that runs up, hits stuff as hard as possible, and then immediately burns himself out because that's all he can do.

Mineta-Kender Rogue Thief: The classic "jerk thief" archetype with a set of quick hands and mobility options to replace his orbs with. And like Mineta, Kender are also a small race that everyone despises, so it's fitting.

Aoyama-Eldarin Warlock Celestial: A natural fit for Warlocks. He only shoots out beams, gets tired after a few big attacks, and owes all his power to a patron. Eldarin are just extra Elves, so that works out as well.

Mina-Satyr Bard Dance: The class is a pretty obvious choice given Mina's natural charisma and acrobatic abilities. I was tempted to pick Yuan Ti for the poison abilities, but I figured that Satyr would fit her look and character better.

Denki: Dragon Sorcerer Dragonborn: Just going all in on the lightning damage here. Denki is someone coasting entirely on talent, fitting with a Sorcerer, and everything else is letting him gave off as much electricity as possible.

Ojiro-Harengon Open Hand Monk: Open Hand Monk is a pretty obvious fit given Ojiro's martial abilities. As for the race… Look, there isn't any race that uses a tail. Harengon was about as close as I was going to get with it's other abilities.

Hagakure-Fairy Arcane Trickster: Rogues are good at sneaking and Arcane Tricksters can reliably become invisible. Fairies fit well into the sneaky part of it and their generally cheery disposition fits even better with Hagakure's chipper personality.

Kirishima: Goliath Battlerager Barbarian: A race that is made out of resilient rocks, a class that's all about getting and taking hits, and subclass that is all about being covered in sharp armor. It's great. You can even have the Rage be his Red Riot: Unbreakable move.

Koda-Firbolg Shepard Druid: I know I did this before, but it's too perfect with his role as the friend to all animals. Firbolgs are the soft, gentle giants of the forest and the Shepard Druid fits nicely with his tendency of overwhelming foes with countless animals.

Jiro-Tiefling Glamour Bard: No surprise with the class and the subclass fits with her role as punk rocker. Tiefling may seem like an odd pick, but I think that her generally closed off disposition can fits well with how Tieflings tend to be characterized.

Sero-Tabaxi Fey Wanderer Ranger: Hands down the hardest person to pick out for this. His abilities and personality don't fit a lot of races or classes that much. I just went with this set up for his pension for movement and trapping as well how personable he can be.

Momo-High Elf Artillerist Artificer : A natural builder that can create whatever she wants, especially her powerful canons. The elf part was mostly for personality given how distant Momo tends to be from other in terms of wealth and overall intelligence.

Tokoyami-Owlin Fiend Warlock: I know the Kenku is right there, but I believe that Owlin fits Tokoyami better. And with how his power comes entirely from a monster and how much it protects him, the defensive abilities of the Warlock Fiend fit well.

Tsuyu-Grung Cleric Peace: Grung is obvious since it's literally a frog, but her class may be confusing for some. I did consider Monk, but none of the subclasses fit her that well. I just thought that having her be a Peace Cleric fits with her wise and supportive nature.

Uraraka-Halfling War Cleric: I honestly went with Cleric because fit her general disposition. That kind of support centric person with a few fighting options that come with the War Cleric. The Halfling was mostly because she's very brave and focused on her family.

Shoto-Half Elf Lunar Sorcerer: Sorcerer is an obvious pick with how much of his story is tied to his ancestry and divided nature, complimented further by the Half Elf race. I went with Lunar Sorcery since it multitude of options works with his multifaceted power.

Tenya-Wizard War Magic Warforged: I was tempted to go with Paladin for him, but I believed that Wizard fit better with his natural intellect. Having him be a War Magic Wizard seemed like a good comprise. And of course Warforged fits him nicely.

Shoji-Simic Hybrid Astral Self Monk: Shoji fits in well with the reserved and disciplined types that often make up Monks, especially with how many times he can punch, but the real flavor comes from the Simic Hybrd. A terrifying monster of a man with gliders and tendrils? It's perfect.

Bakugou-Fire Genasi Eldritch Knight Fighter: I believe that Fighter fits best with Bakugou's upfront and aggressive way of fighting as well as his immense physical resilience, with the subclass fitting with his intelligence. And the Fire Gensai was just made to be Bakugou with it's firepower and hyper aggression.

Izuku: Variant Human Devotion Paladin: I was tempted to go with Wizard here, but I think that Izuku's unwavering devotion to a cause and heroic spirit fits too well with a paladin. Plus, you could easily reflavor all of his smites as smashes. Because I don't care what they say, you can smite with your fists.

[dartagnantt]

Dungeon Delver's Survival Guide | Or how I learned how to DC skill checks

PDFs of this and more can be found over on at my Patreon here! I release everything for free, so your support makes this possible. I'm working on a new class for 5e! Follow the Kickstarter here!

Not to be mistaken for my other survival guide that has yet to go anywhere

A conversation and a youtube video made me consider re-examining some skill checks in a bubble, as opposed to just observing the weird table in the using ability scores section of the PHB and binary success or failure states.

So, enjoy me rambling and inventing game mechanics!

I considered doing an entry for insight check on creatures who aren't lying, but I ran out of time, and it was kind of off theme

And now to plug my stuff. I release homebrews weekly over on my Patreon. Anyone who pledges $1 or more per post don't have to wait a month to see them, and also help fund my being alive habit.

At the moment, they have exclusive access to the following:

Oath of Integrity

Path of Iron

Stranger than Fiction

Trickery Domain: Revised

I also have three classes, and a splatbook over on DriveThrueRPG to check out:

The Rift Binder. A class specialising in summoning monsters and controlling the battlefield.

The Witch Knight. A class that combines swords and sorcery in the most literal way.

The Werebeast. A class that turns you into a half beast to destroy your foes.

d'Artagnan's Adventurer Almanac. A compendium of races, subclasses, feats, spells, monsters and more!

[vintagerpg]

After Mechanoid Invasion (1981), Palladium produced a number of “historically accurate” medieval arms and armor books for use with "ANY” game (read: D&D). The success of those led to The Palladium Role-Playing Game (1983, though this is the 1984 revised second printing).

It’s essentially a highly customized D&D. Sometimes you really need to squint at a thing and maybe scrape a couple layers of paint off, but D&D it almost always under there somewhere near the core. It has far more options, though — 13 playable races, 19 classes, 7ish systems of magic. Even at this date, you can see the game growing (mutating?) into something different, bigger, wilder. It isn’t enough that they are characters classes, they have to be Occupational Character Classes (OCCs) and that’s just the start of the abbreviations. Rifts and the larger Megaversal system will always be Too Much for me, but I was genuinely surprised looking through this book and seeing even back in 1984, Palladium was already Too Much.

In typical fashion, I don’t really care about the system and am won over in the end by all the delightful art. There is no clear credit and I don’t recognize any of the names and honestly, I think there are more styles here than artists, which makes me think that this was sort of a dumping ground for art that didn’t make it into other projects. That gives this book a strange sort of charm that later Palladium books lack — I still like the way those books look and they are certainly more cohesive, but they definitely feature a much more rigid art direction.

Bonus: I like the source material here for the world. It’s none of it revolutionary, but it makes for a sturdy standard. There are cool monsters and gods, too!

[fantasyfantasygames]

Circles of Heaven

Circles of Heaven, Eustace Selden, 1998

Circles of Heaven (CoH) started off as a hard rebound against the Satanic Panic - by an evangelical kid. The goal was to make an RPG that would be considered holy. This... did not happen.

The author did his first writing when he was 14, which beats me by a year. Unlike me, he was raised in... well, a cult. The first version of CoH was about playing angels, but it was also full of proto-quiverfull eschatological heaven-justifies-the-means propaganda. By the time he was 17, his friends had successfully pulled him out of the cult and gotten him living with distant relatives in Tacoma. The author's changing worldview, the evolving music scene, some bootleg anime, and suggestions from the same friends - seriously, this friend group is fantastic - led to a major revision of the game. It was published locally in 1998, printed by a local shop and driven around to game stores and bookstores until they found some that would sell it.

Chargen is mostly random. You pick your Nobility and Corpus. Nobility is your rank, which doesn't let you order each other around but does apply to certain creatures. For example, Archdukes can give orders to insects; a Prince or Princess of Heaven can give orders to mammals (except humans). You get some alliterative skills related to your type of creature - Archdukes get bonuses to Clandestine, Collective, and Contaminate.

Corpus is your body, and I think it's a particularly fun part of the game. Characters in CoH are angels. They're not traditional biblical angels, because the bible is secretly the work of Satan - full of half-truths more dangerous than outright lies. Instead, they're inspired by the weirdest of monsters: adlets, nuckelavee, ouroboros, futakuchi-onna, penanggalan, and a several others. You are both a human being and your monster self at the same time. You can do things that either form could do, or even things that would need both a monster and a human in the same place at the same time, and it doesn't have to make sense to see.

You roll for your Hunt (the kind of people you're here on Earth to help or punish, gives skill bonuses), your Time (the hour each day where you have extra-special powers), your Vision (how you think the world could be made ideal, gives you more skill bonuses), and your Ruling Virtues. Oh, and your attributes. Those are done on a 5-15 scale generated from a d100 table. I did say this game was written in the early 90s.

You also roll for your equipment. Not boring mortal stuff, but for a wide variety of sacred items that you hold in potentia near you and can manifest at need. Shields of fire. Shadow citadels that can hide you overnight. Flocks of stained-glass butterflies that provide cover and distracting fascination. Daybreak, the mace made of pure sunlight. Nullblades that wield themselves and absorb bullets and magic alike. Fatehook, a crochet hook that can re-knot the fabric of the world - slow to use but flexible and devastating.

The system is mediocre. It's basically a heavily-stripped-down Rolemaster, with no critical hits or spell lists. If you can't come up with anything from Rolemaster that isn't the critical hits table, you're not alone. CoH's system sort of slid into my brain and slid right back out without making an impression.

The place the game is really lacking is art. Most of it is from early otaku who loved anime but had never taken an art class. The best of it turned out to be traced from manga. The cover was a black-and-white ouroboros on a white background, which, while still not particularly well-drawn, was at least striking on the shelf.

Eustace eventually moved on. In an interview in 2012 he said that writing the game was a cathartic experience for him, helping him understand where he came from and embrace where he was going. Once it was out, he didn't feel the need to keep writing. I hope he finds a creative spark again some day - I think a shorter version (with better art) would fit well with games like Mörk Borg and Songbirds.

[warsofasoiaf]

What's the tea on Sheila Fitzpatrick? Haven't gotten around to any of her work yet

Sheila Fitzpatrick is one of the prominent historians of the "revisionist" school of the Soviet Union, which emerged as a response to the "totalitarian" or "traditionalist" school that was prominent earlier, such as Robert Conquest. Fitzpatrick's most notable contributions to history come from the perspective of the lower classes of the Soviet Union, that the Soviet Union was not a singular ideological monolith driven from the top-down and that it had to respond to social forces within its own nation. In many ways, it's actually a welcome revision from the 1950's era of Soviet historiography, and the scholarship produced has increased the overall level of historical understanding.

For herself, Sheila Fitzpatrick is perhaps most notable for her "people's history" of the Soviet Union, one divorced from ideology and focused mostly on social mobility and the experiences of the peasantry and line workers. Perhaps most controversially (and what I was referencing in the earlier post), is that Fitzpatrick contends that the Great Purge and Stalinism was an albeit brutal form of democratic revolution, due to the people that were able to move into the places of those purged and experience social advancement. Stalin secured a way of public buy-in through a newly-empowered cadre of middle-class individuals to achieve legitimacy for his government and secure popular buy-in.

Now, of course, to outside observers, this is nonsense. Murdering people and distributing their stuff to other people is not a viable method of securing popular buy-in or achieving democracy. But because the purged were "class enemies," Fitzpatrick identifies them as "bourgeoise" and "executives," somehow this confers the action a form of legitimacy not seen in other historical or scholarly analysis - it was okay to exterminate them because others were able to benefit, conferring the idea that the people being purged were inherently less worthy than the people who benefitted. Similarly, Fitzpatrick, who took great pains to minimize the effect of ideology within the Soviet Union, is singularly unable to answer the question of why these targets were deemed acceptable in the first place - though ideology provides a very clear outline as to why such "class enemies" would be exterminated. Since such scholarship would be seen as antithetical to the revisionist school, however, it had to be discarded, which undermines the authenticity and accuracy of historical scholarship.

What bothers me about Fitzpatrick is that this is not considered a fringe belief of an otherwise respectable historian, but that this is considered a valid interpretation of a period of history with implications delivered further into the present. To Fitzpatrick's scholarship, it's *okay* to murder undesirables provided that they're the correct undesirables (a big problem given the rise in the justification of violence toward groups deemed to be subhuman - just look at the Russian invasion of Ukraine). Now, this is hardly unusual from a Marxist perspective - Orthodox Marxism depends on the categorical extermination of undesirables to achieve its desired societal utopia, but Fitzpatrick is no tankie and is in fact, quite critical of Stalin, otherwise, but has to find ways to mitigate his atrocities so he's not relegated as a monster.

This has been the case for a lot of contemporary historical scholarship with the Soviet Union. There's a significant number of false equivalencies in Soviet scholarship, such as the Great Purges or Khrushchev's forcible medication of dissidents with McCarthyism, in order to mute criticism of the Soviet Union and reject the notion of it as a censorious and ideologically-driven state. Contextually speaking, a lot of history scholars came to prominence as members of the New Left, whose anti-Vietnam War activism sought to portray the Soviet Union as a defensive, anti-imperialist, and progressive power despite all evidence to the contrary, and has similarly translated into hostility against new scholarship that brings sharper criticism of the Soviet Union into the fore. This was the case with Haynes and Klehr, whose translations of the VENONA cipher decrypts and exposure of the CPUSA's role in Soviet espionage was met with abject vituperation from the leaders of history departments - specifically and explicitly because it serves to provide evidence that undermines their core, tribal thesis. Such hostility to new scholarship, particularly that which is based in evidence instead of interpretation, is nothing short of a failure in history departments in their core mission.

Thanks for the question, Hex.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

[charliedawn]

How would the slashers or the Hannibal family react to their partner being stressed due to college?

When you came home and almost collapsed in the living room, Hannibal Jr. caught you in his arms.

He was worried about you and laid you down, patiently waiting for you to wake up.

When you finally did, you didn't notice when you started crying until you started talking—your voice shaking by the amount of stress you were under.

"...I'm so tired. I'm not sure I can keep it up. The endless sleepless nights. The tests raining on my head. The days I can't even get up because I'm so tired my whole body shuts down. I am so very tired...I can't do this. I'm not strong enough."

He gathered you in his arms and shushed you softly before placing a kiss on the top of your head.

"You are strong enough, love. I promise you."

He never felt such stress for school because he usually always aced all of his tests with high honors.

He even used to think that the reason some people were struggling was because they didn't work enough.

But, now that he saw how difficult it was for you ? He is starting to reconsider his opinion on the matter.

He'd help you and make you revise and give you all the advice he can give you on how to study efficiently.

You *smile widely as you come back home with a good grade* : "I DID IT !"

Hannibal Jr. smiled up at you and invited you to seat on his lap while you pointed all of the nice comments your teacher had written on your paper.

He watched as your eyes brightened and your whole demeanor seemed so different from a few months ago.

He rested his chin on your shoulder while your voice started to fade away and before he knew you it...he was asleep.

Looks like studying with you had taken its toll on him as well...You noticed and smiled before settling back and started dozing off as well.

When he saw you crying, Norman's heart did a somersault.

He immediately asked what was wrong and when you told him you were tired of school, he pulled you into a tight hug.

"You succeeded in getting there. Plod on, darling. You'll get there. I'm sure of it."

He doesn't like to see you cry and would try his best to comfort you.

Norman did go to college and attended management classes to get better at his job as hotel manager.

It took a lot of time and energy for him to get through all those years of intense training. So, he'd understand—but encourage you to do your best and keep going.

He'd also try to help you by studying with you and helping you remember the most important things.

He'd also cook for you and make sure you get a nice quiet place to study.

Norman would make sure you succeed and tell you every minute of every day how proud he is of you and give you all the love and affection you need.

Norman *humming to himself while waiting for you to get home*

You *slamming the door open and running in to hug him from behind* : "I DID IT, NORMAN !"

It took him a second or two to realize what you meant and once he understood, he smiled and hugged you back.

"I am so proud of you, my little monster."

"Stop overthinking things. It ain't good."

He told you, but you ignored him. You had work to do and didn't want to be disturbed.

Freddy would normally understand and leave you alone, since he knows it's better to stay away when you got work to do.

But, he didn't this time around.

"We going to party tonight.", he told you and you frowned.

"Freddy...I got work to do."

You reminded him, but he shook his head before closing your computer.

"Let me rephrase that. Either we go out and have fun—or I find myself a nice bunch of nice innocent virgins and make a blood sacrifice to...me."

You glared at him again, but finally conceded with a sigh. You knew he was only trying to cheer you up.

"Fine...But, I ain't paying for you. I got enough worries as it is.", you warned him before grabbing your bag on your way out and Freddy grinned victoriously.

"I'm treatin'. Now, stop your yapping and let's get drunk."

Worse case scenario ? He'd get you so drunk as to accept to quit your studies and become a stripper.

He would maybe be your only client, but as he can literally summon money from dreams, you'd have an endless source of income...

School ? That's what you were so concerned about ?

Myers didn't understand, but Michael did and decided to start reading about your subject.

Finally, he decided to help you and it was a lot easier when you were both working on it.

You explained things he didn't understand and it helped you have a better understanding of your subject as well.

Michael *points to something he didn't understand on the book you were reading*

You *start explaining it to him with a smile*

Him *focused on your smile rather than on your words and smiles as well*

He would make sure that smile never fades, no matter what...

He helped you and every time you had a test, he was there to pick you up and listen to you about your day and wherever had happened—that it'd be good or bad.

You *smile up at him* : "...Michael."

Him *looks up at you and sees you with tears in your eyes and immediately worries*

You *run into his arms* : "Thank you...Thank you so much."

He relaxed when he realized you weren't hurt and wrapped his arms around you.

Jack woke up and prepared himself a cup of coffee at 6 am and almost jumped out of his skin when he saw you there—your computer on your lap and glassy red eyes staring at the screen.

You slowly looked up at him with tears in your eyes and offered him a weak smile.

"....Would you get me a cup too ?"

Your voice was so soft and weak, Jack felt his heart squeeze.

"....Aww, honey." He crouched in front of you and lightly stroked your arms up and down—feeling your cold asking underneath his fingertips. "You can't stay up like that. It's not good. That's just nuts."

You were on the verge of collapsing and it seemed Jack's touch was the one things needed for you to break.

You suddenly fell forward and Jack caught you on his arms.

"Ssh...Come on. Let's get you to bed, darling."

He then picked you up in his arms and glared at your computer.

He was going to have a serious conversation with your teachers and the administration. Jack may use his few connections in the academic cycle to get a few things straight with that college of yours.

He'd also help you if your subject is anything related to the literary world.

You *come back from your next test with a bright smile on your face* : "I...I did it, Jack. I did it."

Jack's eyes widened as a smile crept on his face—but he quickly hid it behind a very exaggerated cough and a nonchalant shrug.

"Yeah yeah...I always knew you could do it."

"You' in college, Y/N ! Can you imagine ? How cool's that ?!"

Lester would be in awe. The man never even left Ambrose. He'd bathe you in praises and tell you how proud he is of you.

He'd also give you all the moral support you need and even bring you and pick you up from college everyday just to see you smile.

He'd be there for your worst and your best—no matter what.

You *come back home crying* : "...I failed."

Him *hugs you immediately* : "Doesn't matter. It's OK, doll. It's only a bad grade. I'll ask Bo or Vinny to help ya'. I'll...I'll ask around for sum' private teach' or sumthin'. Just...Please. Don't cry."

Lester would do anything for you. He maybe wouldn't be able to help you with your studying, but he'd find some other way to help.

Lester *phones every single teacher out there to give you private lessons*

He'd also have a meeting with your teacher and ask them if there's anything he can do to help you. Lester may not be the brain of the Sinclairs, but he's definitely the heart.

You *the day of the final results* : "Lester..."

You uttered his name so softly, he thought you hadn't succeeded and was about to give you all the comfort you needed when you looked up at him and smiled.

"...I passed."

It took a moment for Lester to realize what you had just said and he immediately ran to hug you tightly—spinning you around as you giggled gleefully.

"YOU PASSED ! YOU PASSED !"

He was so happy for you.

"Fuck me. This is b*llsh*t. How can you even read that sh*t ?!"

Bo would just throw every insult known to man at your lessons and curse the whole school system in colorful 'damns' and 'f*ck y'alls'

He might not be able to help you, but he'll be sure to complain and despair alongside you.

He'd sit next to you—his leg bouncing up and down with each second passing as he tried to make head or tail of your course plan.

"I swear I'd have quit the whole thing a long time ago if I were you. I mean...Look at this ?! Is this even fuckin' English ?!"

Seeing Bo actually even more upset on your course than yourself made you feel a lot better and even laugh.

"Wha—?! What's so funny ?! I'm serious !"

He'd spend nights studying with you and let you knock his ears off about your studies while working at the garage.

"BO !"

He looked up at you and thought you were upset at him for some reason, but you then grinned wildly before showing him your grade.

"I FUCKIN' DID IT !"

Him *blinks twice before giving you a matching grin and opening his arms wide to catch you when you hugged him" : "I KNEW IT ! I FUCKIN' KNEW IT ! THAT'S MY GIRL/BOY !"

Pennywise is street smart, not book smart. He never went to school.

School didn't even exist when he was born, even less college.

But, he'd try for you.

But at the end, he'd help you cheat instead.

During a test: transforms into a fly and flies to the best student's shoulder to get a look at his answers and they whisper them to you when no one is looking.

Or, he'd just give a little visit to your teacher the night before and give them a little reminder of what happens when Pennywise is angry...

Yeah. Don't worry about grades.

As long as he's here, you'll always have someone to help you and watch out for everything that might hurt you.

He wouldn't let you down and would encourage you the best he can.

"...You impress me, kid. Even when things get tough, you keep walking forward. That makes you tougher than any of us—even me."

"....Ah."

Kevin never had that problem, because he had Orwell and the moment school was too much, he would appear and do the work.

So, Orwell would help you.

Orwell *looks at the paper in his hand and looks at all the corrections before smiling* : "Ah...I see. Come. I'll explain it to you."

Orwell *starts helping you and scoots a little closer to show you each of your mistake and take the time to make you correct them or rephrase*

Orwell wouldn't let you leave unless you've memorized every single word on your next lesson. He'd make sure to help you until the end and become personally invested in your success.

Orwell *waiting for you outside of your school to see you and ask how it went*

You *smiling and running to hug him* : "Thank you so much for helping me. I knew every answer on the test."

Orwell *stunned because no one ever hugged him* : "You're...welcome" *pat pat on the back*

Orwell would be very proud inside and the other personalities would congratulate you too.

But, Orwell would then ramble on how you hadn't yelled at him when you were studying together and actually listened.

Even Kevin had never been so attentive.

It would earn him some taunting from the other personalities.

Patricia *smiles knowingly* : "You really like them, don't you ?"

Hedwig *gasps loudly* : "MISTER ORWELL HAS A CRUSH !"

Dennis : "Be careful. It could be a trap."

Jade *rolls her eyes* : "Stoooop it, Dennis. For once, glasses shows feelings. Respect that."

Kevin *smiles sheepishly* : "N...Nice. I'm sure they like you too."

Orwell *blushes and shakes his head before trying to cover his ears*

"Huh...Let me get back to you when I've got an answer."

Two days later: news started spreading that your school had 'mysteriously' caught on fire.

You waited for J to come home and when he did, he was carrying a flamethrower and was covered in ashes.

"So...I thought a lot about it and found the perfect solution."

"....J." You pinched the bridge of your nose in exhaustion before J sighed and threw the flamethrower on your shared coach.

"Before you say anything, you're welcome."

You looked up at him with narrowed eyes and asked.

"...Was anyone inside ?"

"...Would I get in trouble if I said yes ?"

Your brow furrowed and he chuckled before shaking his head and cupping your cheeks to look you in the eyes.

"Relax, sweetheart. Smile. No one was inside. I made sure of it...I just gained you a little bit of time to spend with me."

You finally relaxed under his touch and smiled.

"...You're crazy."

He knew you were joking and chuckled before pressing his forehead against yours.

"...Yeah. I'll get back to you when I've got a solution for that one too."

You finally laughed. J was maybe crazy, but somehow...You had managed to get him all wrapped up around your little finger.

[tatertotsafterdark]

Marking - Scott Howl x Reader

18+ MDNI. READ “CONTAINS” SECTION BEFORE READING.

|| Being a struggling college student sucks. Luckily, your werewolf boyfriend doesn't mind helping you de-stress - even if he gets a little too into it.

CONTAINS: AFAB READER, GIVING!SCOTT, RECEIVING!READER, BITING, MARKING, HICKEYS, OVER THE CLOTHES, NO AFTERCARE, MENTIONS OF MIDTERMS

Word count: 1k

Author’s note: IK I switched this fic from what was planned at the last minute but shhhhh... tried to put some characteristics of the Monster Prom writing style but I don't know how successful that was. Based mainly off the first Monster Prom game. (Ignore how the gif is monster roadtrip okay byeeee have fun reading or don't)

Midterms, midterms, midterms. Jesus fucking Christ. That’s all your life has been for the last few weeks, working on gradually revising your notes and studying for those God forsaken tests, worth a part of your grade that’s way too big. You slam your flat palms onto the desk in your small apartment, giving it a good couple of smacks. You’re frustrated, unable to grasp the topic you’re reading through. Why the hell did you have to take a math class? You hated math. Your major didn’t really use math, either. 

You groan as you hear a knock at the door, lifting yourself on to tired legs. Who visits this late at night, especially when you have a giant sign on your apartment door labeled “DON’T DEAD OPEN INSIDE?” You’d think by now people would catch on to your witty ideas of decoration and lack of availability. Maybe studying for midterms wouldn’t be so hard if you’d stop making interior design into your impromptu passion. 

Your hand quickly twists the knob, without giving much thought to check if there was some kind of evil monster or a serial killer or a Jehovah Witness outside of your door. Luckily, it’s none of those - it’s Scott! You manage a smile as his tail wags, and step aside, nonverbally inviting him inside. You can do that since he’s not a vampire. He quickly enters, wrapping his muscular arms around you.

“Dude, where have you been?!” He yells out, a large and toothy smile plastered on his face. You can practically hear his tail wagging, and you can definitely hear it hitting into his backside as it wags. 

“Studying.” You reply, returning the hug weakly and shuffling back over to the living room, lit only by a singular lamp (setting the aesthetic is an important part of studying, after all). You didn’t realize it until now, but your desk was piled with sticky notes, flashcards, notebooks, highlighters, pens in every color under the sun, and empty energy drink cans.

“Studying? Who even studies anymore?” Scott cocks his head, making that stupid-yet-so-damn-cute face at you like he always did when he was questioning your totally normal decisions. 

“I mean, c’mon, when was the last time you got some sun, bro? Your curtains are never open.” Scott says, a small pout on his lips as he looks down at you. You opt to ignore the comment about your currents, and instead huff and walk over to your desk.

“It doesn’t matter when I last left my apartment or opened the windows or anything like that. What’s important right now is that I teach myself everything my professor has been trying to teach us for the past few weeks.” Your ass hits the office chair a bit hard, which sends it backwards. The back of your chair hits Scott’s front, stopping it in its place. 

“You haven’t even showed up to the gym recently! You’re not getting any exercise.”

“I’m not interested in exercising. I want to pass these dumbass exams, Scott. Plus, there isn’t an exercise in the world that I actually like.” 

“Yes there is, bro, you know that.” 

“Great, Scott, then go ahead and tell me because you definitely know me better than I know myself.” You roll your eyes, and the action could probably be heard just off of the nasty tone you dip down into using. Swapping sleep for caffeine isn’t good for your mood, note to self. 

“Well, Polly says that sex burns calories, so therefore, it’s exercise.” 

You freeze up for a moment, thinking about the implications of the sentence that just slipped out of Scott’s lips. Was he implying that you two-? 

Before you can think much longer, one of Scott’s large hands is slowly massaging your chest, and the other is in between your thighs. He may be a bit academically challenged, but at least he wouldn’t be totally lost in an anatomy class. You can’t help but lean into the touch. It’d been ages since you’d gotten any action, even before you started obsessing over getting good grades on your midterms. Scott’s large fingers rubbing slow circles over your clit is enough to melt your brain, getting it off of finding derivatives, even if it was only for a temporary amount of time. 

“Shit- don’t stop- please.” You manage to get your voice to work in between pathetic squeaks and whimpers, and Scott simply speeds up in response to your words. You close your eyes, soaking in the much needed feeling of human contact. Two of Scott’s fingers find their way to the hard bud that’s developed under your shirt, gently twisting and pinching it as your moans get louder.

He buries his head into the crook of your neck, and before long, you feel fangs on the tender flesh. Love bites are completely welcome, of course, so you don’t complain. You run your fingers through his hair as he finishes you off, giving you much needed release without so much as undressing you.

“There, bro! Now you’ve got your daily workout in. Your studying is going to be way easier now.” Scott says with a proud smile, turning your office chair around to face him. The way his face drops, you can tell he’s totally marked up your entire neck to the point even a turtleneck wouldn’t be enough to hide it. Oh, shit. 

“Well… a workout is exactly what I needed. Thanks, bro.”

“Anytime, dude! Just, uh, make sure you have that color corrector stuff you were talking about the one time.” Scott laughs, turning on his heel and walking to your kitchen. You rub your fingers over the bite marks, and the fact that they’re indented into your skin is enough to tell you that any amount of color corrector wouldn’t be enough anyway. They trail up to just below your ear, so you’ll just have to hide away in your room and study for a few more days until they fade. 

You take a deep breath, turning away from Scott as he opens your fridge, and picking up one of your colorful pens for the umpteenth time that evening. 

[rpgsandbox]

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Website: [Bob World Builder patreon] [twitter] [Eventyr Games]

[gorbalsvampire]

Clarimonde Explains It All

She’s not what I expected.

You say “elder vampire lady” to me and I’m picturing floor-length crimson ballgowns, nails and cheekbones you could cut yourself on, lips the only thing about her with any colour in it.

Clarimonde is five-five of boho chic; dress over jeans, big hat on the back of her chair, OG Doc Martens she's not been assed to lace up all the way. She does have long nails, but I’m pretty sure they’re fakes. There’s a tiny glass on the table in front of her, and it’s empty; can she keep it down?

She leans back to air-kiss Dominique, real old-school mwah-mwah lovely-to-see-you-babe; introduces herself in French, and smiles when I stutter my way through my je m’appelles and have to say in English, “but everyone except my mum calls me Tish.”

“Tish. My pleasure. So, why has Dominique brought you to see another old lady?”

Dominique glances at me — permission granted — and I explain there’s something I’m not getting from her and she thought hearing it in another voice would be good for me.

“I’ve lived a very boring life, my dear. Dominique has been around the world three times and left a trail of nonsense in her wake, what could I —“

“It’s the way you tell it,” says Dominique, rolling her eyes. “And of the two of us, who’s been on television?”

It’s Clarimonde’s turn to roll her eyes, and she does it with a little sniff that’s much more my idea of “elder vampire.”

“I was immortalised without my permission,” says Clarimonde. “You shouldn’t let poets lie to you, Tish; they tell you that you’ll live forever, they neglect to mention ‘as a petty pretty monster who leads innocent young men around by their dicks and away from God’. It could be worse; look what happened to poor Louis and his confessional. How many books of revision to his life story are there, now?”

“For real? The guy from —“

“Yes. The first at least is a true story. There’s a grain of truth at the bottom of all the stories. For instance; mine is truly the world’s oldest profession. I liked being called a ‘courtesan’, I wasn’t keen on ‘moll’, ‘whore’ has always been an insult…”

“What do you think of ‘sex worker’?” It’s out of my mouth before I know what I’m saying. Go for woke, I guess.

“Matter of fact, boring — but honest, which has its charms.” She smiles. “But — to stay on topic, because Dominique is making the face,” and she is, “let me forestall the inevitable question. Him too, and he was a piece of work.”

“The thing Clarimonde does so well,” Dominique explains from her end of the sofa, “is talk about men.”

“About a specific class of people,” says Clarimonde, and her pout looks like she wants to poke her tongue out of it. “Mostly men, who did awful things, frequently to women, and who happened to be like us. I’ve collected vampire stories ever since I was in one, and for the longest time they all had something in common. Take Dracula. Born in the fifteenth century. In the nineteenth, he re-emerges with a grand plan; he’ll move himself to what he’s been told is the greatest city on Earth and he’ll re-invent himself as a modern monster. What does he do when he gets there? Obsess over the first girl he gets his teeth into, and stalk his solicitor’s wife to punish the man for escaping, or whatever mad reason he had. Not just a monster but a failure. Why do you think that happens?”

“He’s got really poor impulse control?”

“And you said she didn’t get it.” Clarimonde laughs behind her hand, and for a second I can see her in costume-drama gear, peeking over a fan. “He’d been around too long. Once he’d been an empire-builder, and he remembered being that, but — did he really remember? Can the mind hold on to what it was five hundred years ago? Four hundred? When we cheat ourselves and say we were better people as little girls, from only ten or twenty years away?”

“I get it,” I say, practically talking over her. “I think. You’re saying he was trying to be who he thought he was, what history said he was. But really, he was… just a vampire.”

“And what a piece of work is a vampire?” she purrs, declaiming at her little glass. “Just a being who thirsts. A paragon of animals. Over time, we forget what else we were. Dominique brought you to me because I’m old. Because there are so few older. I’m a simple girl at heart; I take money and a little blood from people who have both to spare. It’s a simple rule, and it’s not a big plan, and it’s not much to hold on to.

“I keep my memories in stories. I don’t know if I’ve always looked this way, or if I saw that girl pretending to be me and made myself like her. Do you know Louis went back to his maker in the end? After everything he told, everything in that book, he went back on bended knee because he’d started to believe what was made up about him afterwards. He went back to a man he’d tried to kill and he thought he was in love. But he’s still alive, and he’s doing no harm to anyone but himself. And maybe one day I’ll wake up with a rosary in my hand and a pretty boy in my bed and I’ll hope to God he paid for it. That’s what happens when we live too long, Tish. We start believing what they say about us.”

One of the core impulses behind Bloodspell was "literary vampires are real but the version of their stories you get is off." Deconstructing the vampire as antagonist/romantic hero, y'know?

[dailycharacteroption]

Book Review: Pathfinder 1E Core Rule Book

And so we begin something I’ve been meaning to do for a long time: Book Reviews!

In this special, I’ll be taking a look through various Pathfinder and Starfinder books that I own and generally talk about Their content, their artwork, and other things that offer pros and cons about them.

And what better way to start than with the Pathfinder core rulebook!

Ah yes, the storied ancient times of 2008. I had just graduated high school and was getting into community college. Before that point, Pathfinder had already been writing adventures for 3.5 D&D as a strange and controversial ploy to tap into the market of RPG gamers that had rejected 4th Ed. However, they had no intention of stopping there, starting with their Core Rulebook, which took the info in the Player’s Handbook and Dungeon Master’s Guide of D&D 3.5 and revised it in preparation for the launch of their very own system and products.

What was tricky about this was that some things, such as summoning spells, had to be designed for a book that was technically not out yet: the Pathfinder Bestiary, so the writers had to figure out what monsters were going to be in the Bestiary but not be shared with the Monster Manual counterpart (which is why the 3.5 PHB has all the different sizes of giant spider/centipede/scorpion on them whereas Pathfinder did not, for example).

All in all, this was the effective launch of a new product off the bones of an old one, which really hadn’t been done to this scale before, pushing the limits of what was outlined by the OGL. It was rare, fun, and exciting times, and nobody can claim that Paizo didn’t succeed in that regard.

But let’s get down to it with the actual content of the book!

Now, it’s going to be literally impossible to list the content of the book without comparing it to the D&D work it was based on, so I’m not going to even try there, but first off, compiling the Player’s Handbook and DMG into one book was a good move on Paizo’s part, for while it made for a hefty volume, it was still less expensive to prospective GMs than the PHB/DMG/MM combo of D&D.

Inside, the actual content works hard to refine the formula of 3.5, developing a design philosophy that rewards the player for sticking with things instead of punishing them for diversifying. Favored classes are now picked by the player on start with no restrictions, and said favored classes reward you with bonuses rather than reducing skill points.

Speaking of which, skill ranks are no longer super costly for going outside your class skills, and while you get numerically less, they reward much more, giving bonuses for the class skills as well. Furthermore, the skills themselves are consolidated, with several being merged into one skill (such as Spot, Listen, and Search all being Perception now)

Furthermore, Classes had all been refined as well. Pathfinder introduced new versions of old abilities, such as making certain class abilities available for a number or rounds per day instead of daily uses of variable value that then run out, such as barbarian rages and bardic performances. Meanwhile, clerics gained the vastly superior channel energy, and if they actually wanted turning/rebuking undead in their arsenal, there were feats for it, and the system for doing so was simplified compared to the frankly absurd original system. And then there were quality of life tweaks like giving druids, paladins, and rangers options for not having animal companions (and making companions much more clear-cut), barbarian rage powers, rogue talents, and the like, and of course, giving sorcerers bloodlines to really help diversify them. (Not to mention giving sorcerers and wizards better hit dice so they don’t keep dying at first level.)

Meanwhile, while feats remain a core part of the system, they made little tweaks to old favorites and added important new options, including something as simple as “have another rogue talent” or “have more rage rounds per day”.

And spells! The spells in the Core Rulebook are pretty much all lifted from the PHB, but their design aesthetic was shifted, with save or die spells dealing massive damage instead of instant death (protecting player characters and monsters alike), while the polymorphing spells were much more balanced: adding set abilities at certain levels instead of just letting you become anything and potentially break the game with an encyclopedic knowledge of the Monster Manual, alongside other quality additions.

And moving on from the player-centric options, the GM stuff is somewhat stripped-down, but still very important, ranging from advice about how to build encounters to NPCs as well as general environmental rules and the like, all very fun and important stuff.

Throughout the book, the art also really helps convey the aesthetics and vibe of the world of Pathfinder, with not just primary Pathfinder artist Wayne Reynolds, but a dozen or so other artists as well. Additionally, the art helped bring to life the example “iconic” characters that became the stand-in representation of typical members of each class. Admittedly, a lot of this art is borrowed from the 3.5 books that came before it, but we’ll forgive that. It was their first book of an entirely new system, and that borrowed art was pretty dang good.

Additionally, each chapter sports an opening with a few paragraphs describing the scene of the chapter splash art, which really conveyed that the iconic heroes depicted therein were, you know, characters with personality, not just example art. Which I feel is an important thing when trying to depict a game where players are meant to bring their own characters to life. (I should note that Seltyiel, the iconic eldritch knight, and later magus, was the only one of the prestige classes to be considered a true iconic with his own lore, while the others were only just character art. Probably because he was specifically F. Wes Schneider’s baby).

Overall, the core rulebook has a lot going for it. It took everything we already knew from 3.5 and refined it to be less forcing players to build their characters in certain ways via punishment, and more rewarding them for choosing to build their characters a certain way, while also balancing and changing assumptions about certain feats, spells, magic items, and even the underpinning of how XP was awarded and NPCs were built. Not to mention all the effort to make it seem like the underpinning of a living world through the art and descriptions (name one thing about Pelor in D&D other than his domain list and the fact he’s a neutral good sun god. I dare you).

Now, that isn’t to say that it’s all peachy keen, though. In their efforts to make the core book mostly setting neutral, the core book fails to give more than a few paragraphs about the planes, which is fair, they were still hashing out their cosmology at the time. Additionally, a lot of the book’s novelty at the time was based on the changes that it had made to various otherwise familiar things. Some of that impact is lost if Pathfinder is the first RPG you pick up, and for all it’s simplifications, Pathfinder remains a very crunchy game with a lot of moving parts (I still get new players that struggle parsing the fact that “natural armor” is an entirely separate bonus and not a specific type of armor bonus), all of which can make it much more intimidating to get into compared to 5e (i.e., the one thing that 5e has over either edition of Pathfinder.)

And I think that will do for today. If there is any final thoughts I have, it’s that for it’s humble beginnings as a new system which was little more than a revision of an older one, the core rulebook was, and remains, an important lynchpin of the system (the core book being important? Shocking.), but as we do more of these reviews, we’ll also see how other books shaped the system and the lore. Look forward to more this week and in the future!

[kaihuntrr]

The Sea Prince: Pirates’ Factions and Empires’ cast. Concepts!

Hello!! It’s been a while since I made a worldbuilding post, and because this AU is currently being revised, I’d like to welcome the side characters who will be making their appearances throughout the story! Firstly, I’d like to talk about the changes between Pirates SMP and Empires SMP to properly fit the vision of this world. These are still their main concepts until they’re (eventually) designed and fully realized, but this is what their general faction/ personality is like.

The factions exist! They’re split between the navy and hunters, given Team TIES are naval commanders, they should have some powerful people with them while the Red Canaries (ehehe they’re all bird names) deal with their rival group.

The shorter version is; Kites and Kestrels are Hunters, Herons are a special class of navy, and Nightingales are voyagers. Their characters and the Empires cast will be used for further development in the story. :D

I’m not well caught up in the characters of Pirates so they will not be gaining a description. The Empires cast will as I am more familiar with them!

* - special case

Here’s the general idea of the factions;

Formed out of shared interests, contracts, or skill, there are countless factions throughout the world. Like any faction or guild, they can be hired together to cover all their bases and work with each other’s strength. It’s not often this works, but they’re contractually obligated to do their jobs, so they keep their heads down. These groups and crews were formed naturally and hence, want to work with these specific members if ever brought on to jobs.

(This is still subject to change; the general idea is the same tho!)

Kites: Formidable and boastful.

Prioritizing strength, this faction of rowdy hunters are no stranger to the wilds of the ocean. They enjoy the thrill of the hunt and fighting evil monsters. This specific group cannot work with any hunter crew due to the belief of their superior strength and does not ask for help. They are particularly annoyed by the Canaries, thinking them to be spoiled and pampered due to being funded by the King himself. Hopefully their paths don’t collide. Hopefully.

IMPORTANT MEMBERS:

Aimsey

Bek

Kuervo

Reddoons

Tubbo

Etho (formerly)

Kestrels: Relic of the past.

Some members of this great faction were once Ren’s old crew, they thrived in a lavish lifestyle their hunts have provided them. A strong leader with a fierce second-mate, they were unstoppable. It was like this for a few years, but after their Captain’s death it hasn’t been the same. Their second-mate soon left to be in his former crew, and they are unsure what the future may hold. If they ever cross paths with the Canaries, especially with their former second-mate, threats of violence look over their heads.

IMPORTANT MEMBERS:

Ren (deceased)

Martyn (formerly)

Guqqie

Kyle

Sausage

Joey

Oli

*Scar (associated with the group in the past)

Nightingales: Explorers and Navigators.

Away from hunting and fighting, they simply want to travel and make it easier for people to get from place to place. They are a talented group who design and create machinery for travel and everyday use, but also spend their times in exploring and charting maps; a very versatile group indeed.

IMPORTANT MEMBERS:

Michela

Graecie

Will

Acho

App

Ros

False

*Pix

Herons: Elite Intelligence.

A group of very few, but strong leaders. They are special cadets from the navy who succeeded past their peers and are given special attention from their commanders as they train to, hopefully, lead in their place one day.

IMPORTANT MEMBERS:

Cleo (formerly)

Mumbo (formerly)

El

Olive

Owen

Water

Finally, we get to the Empires cast. Originally this au was only a Life Series x Empires fic due to some interesting dynamics the characters would have with some side characters, but pirates opened up a new opportunity and fills up some plot holes! I did say the Empires cast are getting their descriptions, so here they are!

‘Mythical ‘Myth’ J. Sausage.’

‘Humble’ and ‘polite’ are the first things he’d say about himself. He is particular in living the high life and wants to continue living up to his faction’s name. He can’t stand hanging around Martyn, so he openly makes fun of him for his own ego.

‘Joey Graceffa.’

Brought on by Myth/Sausage, Joey fits the bill of a Kestrel. He enjoys singing, but doesn’t do it as often as, “they don’t deserve to hear his voice”. He’s boastful and full of pride, joining Myth as he berates the former Kestrel. He doesn’t really know who the blonde is however, as he was brought to the crew a bit more recent.

‘Orion ‘Oli’ Sound.’

A wildcard. He’s eccentric and very chaotic, bringing all the energy into the Kestrels. He once challenged by Joey into a sing-off, and despite the other winning, Oli takes it in stride and forms a friendly(?) rivalry with the other Kestrel, making good laughs for everyone.

‘False Symmetry.’

A mechanic with big dreams. She helps build prosthetics and assists with any type of machinery, as she enjoys her time tinkering with any type of device. She likes to make herself useful, and would often go for a passive response to try and change things for the better.

‘Pix Rift.’

A researcher deep in his own thoughts. He joined the Nightingales out of their shared belief and interest in exploring, accompanying them in journeys and to breathe the open, fresh air towns and cities don’t have. He takes notes of all of his adventures but tries to keep up with his personal responsibilities, as it seems he can’t keep up with it usually.

‘Katherine Elizabeth.’

A vagabond hunter with no ties to anyone or anything, supposedly. She’s excitable and fun loving, adoring the thrill of the hunt and returning home to her girlfriend with a satisfied grin on her face. She makes her living like a mercenary would, sometimes it’s jarring that someone as upbeat and optimistic as she is also kills monsters for fun and a way to earn payment.

‘Shelby Grace.’

An explorer. She’s curious about the world due to living a relatively sheltered life and greets the world with open arms. She’s incredibly shy and prefers to explore on her own, but she wouldn’t mind traveling the world with her girlfriend.

‘Gemini Rose.’

A delightful person to be around but stirs up tricks with her twin brother. She means no harm to anyone she comes across, lest her overthinking get the better of her, and she’s all in to see the world despite the horror stories of the ocean. She’s not scared! If she’s with her brother, nothing is impossible.

‘fWhip Rose.’

A menace, but a fun one! He’s usually the one who initiates the schemes between the twins, but also the one who gets into the most trouble. Be it his reckless attitude, he’s not afraid to stand up for himself.

And that’s all I can say about them! Pirates has opened up so much ideas for the AU going forward, and I’m excited for you all to see! In the meantime… here’s the reveal of revised Act I’s titles and mini arcs, I can’t wait to show you what they all mean and contain >:)

[selfdiagnosedeyemotif]

little thing i've been thinking about as of late:

How could one make the Octopath Travelers II in Dungeons and Dragons?

the rules i've set for myself are as follows:

no variant human. that is boring.

we're going for flavour over optimization but my stupid optimizer brain will nonetheless be the architect behind this all so Watch Out

Unearthed Arcana and things of that sort ARE allowed. UA is my dear wife and to leave her out of my house would be a crime most unforgivable

stats will be calculated using the point buy method, simply because that is much easier than working with the other methods

in a similar vein to the previous, pre-Mordenkainen's Monsters of the Multiverse stat increases and abilities for races will be used (my best friend the Air Genasi gets burnt by this but sacrifices must be made)

characters will range from level 10 (agnea) to level 14 (osvald)

this is what the characters would look like at the END of their journeys, so abilities like the One True Magic would be taken into account

i'll link pages describing all of the things i use, all of which will be from my dnd site of choice, the DND 5th Edition Wikidot Site

that being said...

Ochette, the Hunter

Race:

Tabaxi (+2 DEX, +1 CHA)

Class(es):

Revised Ranger - Beastmaster Conclave - Level 8 Paladin - Oath of the Ancients - Level 3

Feats (if any):

N/A

Stats:

STR - 14 (+2) DEX - 19 (+4) CON - 15 (+2) INT - 10 (0) WIS - 8 (-1) CHA - 13 (+1)

Key Abilities/Explanations:

Tabaxi - Race: Ochette, while more of a fox than a cat, notably has many animal features similar to cats (namely her claws and ears), so the cat race fits her quite well

Cat's Claws - Tabaxi: ability most akin to Ochette's latent power ability Beastly Claws

Animal Companion - Beastmaster Conclave: this is the space for Akala or Mahina, since the BM is the only class/subclass that lets you have an animal companion in any way, not counting the wizard spell Find Familiar (which just doesn't fit Ochette. she aint a wizard)

Oath of the Ancients Paladin - Class/Subclass: at the end of Ochette's story she is touched by the Flame itself, bestowing upon her the power necessary to continue her immediate mission of Stop That Shadow Beast and ongoing mission of protecting the wilds of Solistia. serving something greater than oneself for a specific purpose (divine or not) is how 5e paladins have been flavoured, and the OotA subclass is explicitly based around being the light for the world, and has a general nature theme (see: green knights)

Castti, the Apothecary

Race:

Water Genasi (+2 CON, +1 WIS)

Class(es):

Artificer - Alchemist Speciality - Level 9 Paladin - Oath of Redemption - Level 4

Feats (if any):

Resilient (Wisdom)

Stats:

STR - 12 (+1) DEX - 9 (-1) CON - 14 (+2) INT - 13 (+1) WIS - 20 (+5) CHA - 12 (+1)

Key Abilities/Explanations:

Water Genasi - Race: first off, Castti obviously has a water motif. that's a guarantee. however, i also think that Water Genasi has some good flavour to it because before MMotM, it gave resistance to Acid damage. you know, like trosseau's poison rain. Castti was INSANELY resilient against that shit, and i think it could be fun if that was like. just a thing she did.

Class/Subclass - Alchemist Speciality Artificer: this is the place to go when it comes to apothecaries. i really wanted to make her a warlock of Malaya as well but the best fitting subclasses (Fathomless, Celestial, and Undead) didn't have abilities that fit her very well. regardless, you've gotta be an Alchemist if you wanna be an apothecary

Class/Subclass - Oath of Redemption Paladin: PLEASE go read the tenets of the Oath of Redemption. like yeah its about redeeming yourself but more importantly its about pacifism (that's castti), patience (that's castti), and protecting the weak (that's castti). shes SO Oath of Redemption that it isn't even funny

Experimental Elixir/Restorative Reagent - Alchemist: this is Concoct, to a T. Experimental Elixir allows you to bestow a variety of different effects onto an ally, ranging from healing to haste to defense. just. like. Concoct. also the Restorative Reagent feature that castti would get at level 9 just adds to the healing aspect of EE so like. yeap that tracks.

Lay On Hands - Paladin: Sounds an awful lot like a mix between castti's Healing Hands and Rehabilitate abilities, with a mix of healing damage and disease specifically via touch.

Resilient - Feat: you'll notice that i made Castti's highest stat her Wisdom, which a keen-eyed D&D player might mark as strange, since Artificers are an Intelligence-based class, and Paladins are Charisma-based. well, this in conjunction with Resilient giving her proficiency in Wisdom Saving Throws (basically making her very good at holding on against fear, mind control, and things that affect sanity), are all because of one of my personal favourite Castti moments: she has canonically read the Book of Night and it couldn't do jack SHIT to her. her mind is made of IRON.

Throné, the Thief

Race:

Shadar-Kai (+2 DEX, +1 CON)

Class(es):

Rogue - Assassin Archetype - Level 11 Fighter - No Subclass - Level 2

Feats (if any):

Shadow Touched (spells gained: Invisibility, Silent Image)

Stats:

STR - 11 (0) DEX - 20 (+5) CON - 10 (0) INT - 14 (+2) WIS - 12 (+1) CHA - 14 (+2)

Key Abilities/Explanations:

Shadar-Kai - Race: grabbed simply because i think that being a Dark Elf™ fits Throné really well. technically it also gives her teleportation which would be a cool in-universe explanation for Aeber's Reckoning but honestly this one's for the funsies

Inflitration Expert - Assassin Archetype: she straight-up does this in the first chapter. like full stop. that is the thing that this ability does. also i know it's very much not one-to-one but i also think this is how she would use Disguise but that ventures into headcanon territory

Action Surge - Fighter: the SPECIFIC reason that i gave Throné fighter levels. Action Surge allows the user to, once per short rest, USE TWO ACTIONS IN ONE TURN. THAT IS LEAVE NO TRACE. EXACTLY.

Shadow Touched - Feat: flavour for infiltration stuff but also sort of works as an expy for Veil of Darkness. Silent Image can be used to create a fairly large illusion, including but not limited to a quick and easy way to throw enemies off their game in terms of their attacks. Disguise Self was also considered as an option for the spell to take (Invisibility is always given) but i passed on it because she was already getting Infiltration Expert from her subclass.

Osvald, the Scholar

Race:

Goliath (+2 STR, +1 CON)

Class(es):

Wizard - School of Evocation - Level 14

Feats (if any):

N/A

Stats:

STR - 12 (+1) DEX - 10 (0) CON - 16 (+3) INT - 20 (+5) WIS - 14 (+2) CHA - 8 (-1)

Key Abilities/Explanations:

Goliath - Race: Professor Osvald V. Vanstein is, amoungst other descriptors, fucking MASSIVE. that man is canonically like 6'7" or something. goliaths, the Biggest race in D&D 5e, are absolutely the best fit for him. as a bonus, they give him resistance to Cold damage, a fun reference to that teeny little stay on Frigit Isle

School of Evocation - Subclass: Osvald is canonically very much an offensive caster. that's clear. the School of Evocation, in D&D, is the one with the easiest access to Spells like Fireball, Lightning Bolt, and Cone of Cold, meaning that Osvald "Fire-Ice-Lightning" V. Vanstein simply MUST be one

Overchannel/Sculpt Spells - School of Evocation: neither of these two abilities, on their own, would equate to anything Osvald-y. Overchannel allows the user to make one damaging spell do max damage (and do it more at an HP cost), and Scupt Spells allows them to exempt certain targets from AoE spells. together, however, they form a decent expy for Concentrate Spells, Osvald's latent power

Prismatic Spray - Spell: this spell is a seventh level evocation spell. level 14 is the first time wizards have access to seventh level spells, and Osvald is an evoker. this spell is also a MASSIVE FUCK-YOU RAINBOW BLAST. i won't go through its actual abilities because they dont line up to the One True Magic very well, but aesthetically they're damn-near identical

Partitio, the Merchant

Race:

Human (+1 to all stats)

Class(es):

Paladin - Oath of Devotion - Level 6 Bard - College of Eloquence - Level 5

Feats (if any):

Inspiring Leader

Stats:

STR - 15 (+2) DEX - 11 (0) CON - 14 (+2) INT - 12 (+1) WIS - 10 (0) CHA - 18 (+4)

Key Abilities/Explanations:

Oath of Devotion Paladin - Class/Subclass: mostly based around how Partitio is just. endlessly all about that helping people. you dont need to worship a god to be a paladin, folks, you just need to have a cause that you stand insanely firmly by. that's why they're Charisma-based. anyways Devotion fits Parti best so he gets it

Silver Tongue - College of Eloquence: half of this ability (bonus to Deception) is positively worthless to Partitio because he really doesnt lie much, but the other half (bonus to Persuasion) is DEATHLY important to this build. Partitio is a man built on being extremely good at talking to people, and it really shows in this. also, SILVER Tongue. Oresrush silver. get it? huh? huh?

Inspiring Leader - Feat: genuinely the most Partitio feat ever. it literally has the user make an inspiring speech for a mechanical benefit and if that ain't Partitio i dont know what is

Agnea, the Dancer

Race:

Spring Eladrin (+2 DEX, +1 CHA)

Class(es):

Bard - College of Glamour - Level 10

Feats (if any):

Mobile

Stats:

STR - 8 (-1) DEX - 16 (+3) CON - 12 (+1) INT - 11 (0) WIS - 12 (+1) CHA - 18 (+4)

Key Abilities/Explanations:

Eladrin - Race: this is the most whimsical and fun race ever and i love it. spring Eladrin are the joyous and celebratory version of this race, so it fits Agnie pretty damn well. it also offers a teleportation option in the form of Fey Step (the season-themed version of Throné's teleport), which i feel like she would incorporate into her shows

College of Glamour Bard - Class/Subclass: this is the main performer bard for performers that dont use musical instruments, so it simply had to be Agnea

Enthralling Performance - College of Eloquence: this ability is effectively a make-your-performances-better card, which is exactly the kind of thing that Agnea would pull out if she needed to really bedazzle a crowd (see: Agnea chapter five)

Magical Secrets - Bard: this allows the user to gain two spells from any spell list. Agnea's would be Control Winds (Windy Refrain) and Beacon of Hope (Song of Hope). the latter is a much rougher expy than the former, but it's got hope in the name and i am nothing if not predictable. see the links below for what those spells do

Mobile - Feat: this is meant as an expy of the Dancer ability Ever Evasive, and to a degree Agnea's high base Speed and Evasion, since the Mobile feat both makes it more difficult for enemies to land hits on you, and improves your movement speed

Temenos, the Cleric

Race:

Changeling (+2 CHA, +1 WIS), pretends to be Half-Elf

Class(es):

Rogue - Inquisitive Archetype - Level 4 Cleric - Knowledge Domain - Level 9

Feats (if any):

Keen Mind (+1 INT)

Stats:

STR - 8 (-1) DEX - 10 (0) CON - 8 (-1) INT - 18 (+4) WIS - 18 (+4) CHA - 16 (+3)

Key Abilities/Explanations:

Changeling - Race: i think it would be really cool because Temenos is such a goddamn liar. im so normal about it. sososo normal about it. i just feel that he would lie persistently about his identity lie that because just. i am hopelessly in love with the aspect of Temenos that he does not let anyone know anything ever

Inquisitive Archetype Rogue - Class/Subclass: one will note that this is the first class listed rather than his actual in-game class of Cleric. this is because i think that before he was a cleric, before he was found by the church, Rogue was a deeply fitting class for him. i think it was his base class, and grew into the Inquisitive subclass AFTER taking Cleric levels

Channel Divinity: Read Thoughts - Knowledge Domain: this is the equivalent of Temenos's Coerce path action; both are obviously magical in nature and involve to a certain (albeit different) degree looking into the target's mind. not a lot to say it's just a very good stand-in for Coerce

Legend Lore - Spell: this is the expy for Temenos's doubt-is-what-i-do mystery solving sections (like when he's in the cathedral with Crick investigating the death of the pontiff). it's not exact since Legend Lore targets an object and Temenos's thing targets a location, but i think it's close enough to be good enough. also it's a free spell you get for being a Knowledge Cleric so i think it's a good fit

Expertise - Rogue: this ability allows you to take two skills and become SUPER good at them. this would be Deception and Insight for Temenos, and i think it was important that i bring it up

Hikari, the Warrior

Race:

High Elf (+2 DEX, +1 INT)

Class(es):

Fighter - Samurai Archetype - Level 11 Sorcerer - Shadow Origin - Level 1

Feats (if any):

N/A

Stats:

STR - 18 (+4) DEX - 16 (+3) CON - 16 (+3) INT - 10 (0) WIS - 10 (0) CHA - 10 (0)

Key Abilities/Explanations:

Shadow Origin Sorcerer - Class/Subclass: homeboy's got the blood of D'arqest in him, so he simply MUST have some kind of spooky class. the other class in the running was Hexblade Warlock, but Shadow Sorcerer ultimately won out mostly for mechanical reasons (SO's Strength of the Grave was considered more flavourful than HB's Hexblade's Curse)

Fighting Spirit/Tireless Spirit - Samurai Archetype: these abilities are about the user powering up by sheer force of will and that's literally the most Hikari thing i have ever heard in my life

Fighting Style: Superior Technique - Fighter: this fighting style allows the user to gain one Battlemaster Fighter maneuver. the one selected for Hikari is Riposte, which serves as an equivalent to Hikari's Vengeful Blade ability (both of them are counterattack options)

Extra Attack 2x - Fighter: fighters are the only class that gain access to more than two attacks per turn, similarly to Hikari's Aggressive Slash ability giving him access to the greatest number of hits out of any class in-game

Links:

Ochette, the Hunter

Tabaxi

Ranger, Revised

Beastmaster Conclave

Paladin

Oath of the Ancients

Castti, the Apothecary

Water Genasi

Artificer

Alchemist Speciality

Paladin

Oath of Redemption

Resilient

Throné, the Thief

Shadar-Kai

Rogue

Assassin Archetype

Fighter

Shadow Touched

Silent Image

Osvald, the Scholar

Goliath

Wizard

School of Evocation

Prismatic Spray

Partitio, the Merchant

Human (yeah im linking that)

Paladin

Oath of Devotion

Bard

College of Eloquence

Inspiring Leader

Agnea, the Dancer

Eladrin

Bard

College of Glamour

Mobile

Control Winds

Beacon of Hope

Temenos, the Cleric

Changeling

Rogue

Inquisitive Archetype

Cleric

Knowledge Domain

Keen Mind

Legend Lore

Hikari, the Warrior

High Elf

Fighter

Samurai Archetype

Sorcerer

Shadow Origin

Riposte Maneuver

[dartagnantt]

Trickery Domain: Revised | Making a domain more than just its one feature

PDFs of this and more can be found over on at my Patreon here! I release everything for free, so your support makes this possible. I'm working on a new class for 5e! Follow the Kickstarter here! I've also started making a new system based off of 5e, 6th Dawn! Become a patron and join the playtest.

So, in this month of deceit, what sort of trickery could I devise? No… revise! Haha! I've always been slightly disappointed in the trickery domain. It has one of the coolest channel divinities (the coolest belonging to forge) but past that, everything else is unremarkable. At will advantage on stealth for one person. Be invisible for 1 round when you could be doing the cool thing. and finally cool thing, but stronger! The divine strike was okay, but that's also the one thing that it only had one of two options for anyway

Bonus Proficiency

Behold the divine providence of lies! What do you mean it doesn't teach you to lie? I considered getting disguise kit, but I solved that with the next issue.

Sacred Mask

So, warlock's get unlimited disguise self at level 2, so what if a cleric could too? But how do I rationalise making it more limited, I know! By making it mundane so as to bypass divination magic

Invoke Duplicity

How do you improve upon perfection? Not sure, but I had to do something. I am all for fuckery with a doppleganger of some sort, well, I decided that making an important feature of this CD require melee combat doesn't really fit every kind of trickster. But what is tricky? What if what you thought was an illusion is now suddenly real?

Redirect Attack

I was inspired by the old treachery paladin and this seemed fun. This could probably do with some kind of restriction, but one reaction per round is a pretty good limit

Sacred Visions

When designing domain capstones, I find it useful to ask 'what is the ideal of this aspect?' So, when tricking someone, what if it was REALLY convincing? This is similar to my programmed hallucination spell, but more specific.

And now to plug my stuff. I release homebrews weekly over on my Patreon. Anyone who pledges $1 or more per post don't have to wait a month to see them, and also help fund my being alive habit.

At the moment, they have exclusive access to the following:

School of Illusion: Revised

Oath of Discord

Modular Airships

Lightspawn

I also have three classes, and a splatbook over on DriveThrueRPG to check out:

The Rift Binder. A class specialising in summoning monsters and controlling the battlefield.

The Witch Knight. A class that combines swords and sorcery in the most literal way.

The Werebeast. A class that turns you into a half beast to destroy your foes.

d'Artagnan's Adventurer Almanac. A compendium of races, subclasses, feats, spells, monsters and more!