#resulting in a conversation where I genuinely had no idea what she was talking about

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

These two excellent posts (1 by @lurkingshan and 2 by @twig-tea) got me thinking a little about what went down this episode and what looks like it's going to happen next week with the mentors.

There is, as both posts point out, a noticeable difference in how Judy and Jane are treating their trainees (and their crushes). For the past 2 episodes Judy has been crossing lines with Ba-Mhee (and at this point she can't plead ignorance either because she initiated the second kiss) whereas Jane may have had a suspicion about Ryan's crush and been tentatively interested in return but maintained a friendly professional relationship. As a result, they've acted as a good contrast to each other in terms of what's appropriate and what's not.

But now feelings are out in the open and I think Jane is going to mess up a little too.

Because the thing with Jane is that, while he has been an excellent mentor thus far, he does sometimes teeter on the brink of being too harsh (although he hasn't crossed the line yet). We've seen it before and we definitely saw it this episode when he reprimanded Ryan (justified) and ended by asking him why he bothered to come in and make other people "feel bad" (not justified).

The reprimand was a professional reaction, the final line was an emotional one. Because Jane knows at this point that Ryan comes in because he enjoys it, because he wants to learn, and because he wants to work hard. There is no question as to why Ryan is coming in or why he should be coming in and that line was said out of pure frustration and a need to vent and last out. (It should be noted that Jane has thrown this line out a few times and while the first time was definitely a genuine question the more he asked/told Ryan not to bother coming in, the less justified it was as a reaction to the situation at hand).

So while I agree that Jane is going to react to Ryan's confession by pumping the breaks (as he should), I also think he's going to pump them so hard he's going to miss the all important step of actually talking to Ryan about what's going on and why it has to be that way.

Because ep. 8 Ryan seems to think Jane is punishing him or taking advantage of his feelings, because ep. 8 Ryan seems angry at Jane, because ep. 8 Ryan doesn't look like he understands why Jane is treating him the way he is.

And I can't blame Jane, no matter how professional you are that's one hell of an awkward conversation to have, but it is necessary and it looks to me like Jane is either putting it off (not a good idea if you're working in an emotionally demanding job) or hoping he doesn't have to have it.

And that's okay.

Jane is a great mentor and AD but he's also human: he's going to mess up once or twice and that's normal. It's been said time and time again that The Trainee is a show that takes the workplace seriously and I don't think it would be doing the complexity of being in a workplace justice if it didn't also show someone who normally makes the right calls make the wrong ones once in a while.

Putting Jane on a pedestal as an explar doesn't fit the message of the show, putting Jane in a position where he actually does make a mistake and then fixes it when he realises he's messed up, on the other hand? Yeah that fits.

[onyxbird]

OK, the idea of a soulmate au where you can't look anyone but your soulmate directly in the eyes was not done with me yet.

Leverage version:

Sophie knows all the tricks for faking full eye contact. For a third-party observer, it's nigh-impossible to tell that she's not quite achieving direct eye contact short of using cameras with very good eye-tracking software. Trying to fool a mark into thinking she's their soulmate via “eye contact” is tougher, but on a mark who hasn't met their own soulmate (and thus has never experienced true full eye contact), Sophie still has a pretty good success rate. Every member of the team has been drafted as her fake soulmate on a con at least once. Or, at least, Sophie has tried. Parker failed to pick up on any of the hints Sophie was able to drop without blowing their cover, so Sophie had to switch tactics. Hardison tried valiantly to hold the near-eye-contact, and they pulled off the job, but he was struggling and his resulting nervous blather did not help the illusion at all. Eliot picked up her cues and pulled off the illusion flawlessly… and hated every second of it. The first time they faked prolonged eye contact, he ducked away to Nate's bathroom the second they got in the door, and Sophie (slightly insulted) wondered if he was going to throw up. He didn't, just practically boiled his skin off in the hottest shower he could stand. Nate is by far Sophie's most frequent “soulmate” on the job… None of the rest of the team are entirely sure whether the eye contact is fake or not, and neither Nate nor Sophie is telling.

Parker has never had any interest in making eye contact, and was genuinely unaware that this was a serious thing people actually believe in. (Sure, people talk about finding their “soulmate” through eye contact, but people also talk about summoning Bloody Mary through the bathroom mirror. That doesn't mean it's real.) The first time she looked directly into Hardison's eyes was both accidental and jarring. She averted her eyes and assumed they would never mention this uncomfortable situation again. She was not expecting Hardison to suddenly want to have an intense, excited conversation that was clearly loaded with some meaning she wasn't picking up on, and she definitely wasn't expecting him to do so while trying to eagerly stare into her eyeballs. When Eliot happened to walk in, she latched onto him like a spooked cat, demanding he do something about Hardison; there was something wrong with him, like he's possessed or something; make him stop!

Eliot has habitually avoided even the possibility of eye contact with anyone since he was in high school. (He certainly wasn't trying to lock eyes with people even before that, but, well, he and Aimee had tried once, back when they were young and naive and thought maybe they were meant to be. They weren't.) In his line of work… it was better not to know. There was just no way that would end well. He doesn't have anything against other people finding their soulmates, though. Really. So he's not quite sure why there's such a bite to his words when he snaps at Hardison to knock it off—that “soulmates” is no excuse for trying to look someone in the eye when they don't like it. But he's sure he can feel a headache forming as he's stuck between Parker's “'Soulmates'! Ha! …Oh, come on. You're kidding, right? That's not real” from one side and Hardison's horrified “Oh my god, I'm sorry! Parker, I am so, so sorry—I was just so excited, you know? I didn't realize—” start of what was clearly going to be a long and heartfelt apology on the other.

Hardison thinks soulmates are very romantic, and he's always hoped, you know? He tries not to talk too openly about it—dreaming of finding your soulmate was deemed “girly” and “wussy” by the popular boys at his high school, and he had more than enough targets on his back for bullying as a kid without drawing attention this one. He's always kind of thought he'd probably never find his, if he even had one. He did so much of his socializing with like-minded people online, and you can't make eye contact—not real eye contact—over a webcam. There have been some near misses that made his heart flip (Hell, back during that first Dubenich job, when Eliot had taken out all the Pierson guards and then given him that smug little smirk, for an instant—just for an instant—Hardison had almost thought their eyes met directly. He must have imagined it, too caught up in the incredibly sexy and unexpected display of competence on display in front of him to avoid a split second of daydreaming about what it would feel like to look straight into those incredibly blue eyes. Anyway, it had never happened again, and after working together for so long, they surely would have looked each other in the eyes by now if it were possible.), but no dice. Until now. Parker, though… Even while apologizing (he should have realized to be more careful with Parker), Hardison could barely keep the absolutely giddy smile off his face. There had been no mistaking that, and god when people talked about “getting lost” in their soulmate's eyes… Wow, they weren't kidding!

Nate will expound at length about how the concept of “soulmates” and consequently the act of making eye contact have been exploited and commercialized for all of recorded history, the absence of any scientific evidence that the rare ability to make eye contact with another person actually correlates with any real measures of relationship compatibility rather than being a random biological quirk that has been superstitiously fetishized, and (if the person who brought it up isn't desperately trying to escape the conversation yet) whether the concept soulmates is compatible with Catholic theology. Very few people last long enough through his disparagement of the entire concept to notice that he has skirted around ever actually saying whether or not he's ever made direct eye contact with another person, and even fewer are willing to risk touching off another lengthy tirade to press him on the matter.

Thanks @soulmate-au-bargain-bin for the fun idea!

[juniperhillpatient]

I know I'm terminally coffin-brained lately but hear me out it really bothers me that the perception of the Coffin of Andy & Leyley is ONLY "hehe incest cannibalism game" which is....not EXACTLY inaccurate but it certainly simplifies it ya know??? like I call it the incest cannibalism game too as a joke but I'm realizing there are a lot of people who think of it as like...a porn game? & btw I'm not AGAINST porny games or whatever I just think it's reductive & inaccurate to call Andy & Leyley that when in reality there is not even (so far) any textual sexual content beyond a demonic vision of a possible future. yes very obviously their relationship does have a sexual & romantic undertone, but it's compelling specifically because it's a complex story about siblings who have been genuinely fucked over by their parents & the world & they have developed a topically obsessive codependent relationship as a result.

like the initial conversation that the game's title is based on is Andrew casually half-jokingly talking about killing himself & it's just so..... narratively delicious. Ashley is not some horny one-dimensional slut who just wants to fuck her brother? Her reaction to Andrew talking about suicide is to joke that she'll race him to the balcony & he says back - semi sarcastically but we KNOW there's truth in his words, that he's clearly thought about this - that it would be too romantic, that they would be smashed together on the pavement, buried in the same coffin & like...the game proceeds from there with these two living in this intertwined fate, tangled together in ways neither of them can ever escape. it's romantic but it's also tragic & awful.

Andrew's love for Ashley will always be bitter & tinted with resentment because he was thrust with the responsibility of raising his little sister when he was only a child himself. he was made responsible for caring for Ashley with absolutely NO example of what caring for someone looked like & he was barely old enough to care for himself. Ashley never had anyone care for her in her entire life except Andrew & so she absolutely adores him to a dangerous & unhealthy degree.

like I hate it when people think Ashley is oh so abusive & manipulative or Andrew is so awful & selfish (she is manipulative & he is occasionally selfish) but like - as if there are not layers upon layers of WHY she treats Andrew the way she does & WHY he's so resentful. (as a side note I think debating who abuses who (aside from obviously the fact that they were both abused in different ways by their mother) or who's "worse" just...misses the whole ass point.)

and the cannibalism is initially about survival & the stakes are very apparent & built super well given the opening of the game spends a lot of time just demonstrating that they are literally starving to death to the point where Ashley is fainting & they're sharing a can of tomatoes out of the garbage joking that it's the best meal they've ever had. it is highly worth noting the way their actions escalate & get worse & worse with time as the game proceeds & you can see the way they're both getting more & more comfortable with violence & taboo. this game just would not compel me if it were just randomly "lol let's eat people!" get real

idk I just feel like people who don't know the game get the wrong idea about it when it's actually SO narratively rich okay bye

(this is not an anti Gravecest post either just to be clear, I fucking love the ship I just feel like it gets oversimplified often & also that Ashley especially is highly mischaracterized a lot, even in the game's marketing sometimes. at the core of the game are two deeply broken people who were fucked over bad & who are tied together in a way that neither of them can ever escape. it's love as horror & I loooove that about it)

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Give Me Everything You Have

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Please support Cybird by buying their stories. Expect grammatical errors.

Emma: “...........”

(Why...?)

Emma: “...........”

(Why aren’t you saying anything!?)

Emma silently waited for my birthday to come.

Silvio: “What happened to you earlier?”

Emma: “What are you talking about?”

Silvio: “You have this intense gaze like you’re about to pounce on me.”

Emma: “Don’t worry about it.”

Silvio: “Don’t be ridiculous.”

(Damn it, just say it already.)

(You want to celebrate my birthday, don’t you?)

For the past few days, she’d been restless and unable to calm down.

It was evident that she was secretly preparing something for my birthday.

(Just tell me you want my time, and I’ll give it to you.)

Silvio: “By the way, it’s not good for you to stay up so late. It’ll affect your health.”

I thought if I urged her to go to sleep, she would tell me she wanted to celebrate my birthday.

Emma: “I’m an adult. I’ll be fine.”

But she wouldn’t back down.

Silvio: “That’s not an excuse. Should I put you to bed like an adult, then?”

Emma: “No, thank you!”

While we were having such an exchange, the bell rang to tell us that it was midnight.

(Damn it, time's up.)

(Well, whatever. I'll make you regret not asking me directly.)

(You probably have no idea what my birthday is like.)

As expected, the moment midnight arrived, there was a knock on the door.

(These people never get tired of doing this year after year.)

Emma was about to say something but gave up, and I opened the door.

What I saw was a long line of people.

Emma peeked out from behind me and glanced down the hallway, utterly speechless.

Emma: "This is…"

Silvio: "It's always like this on my birthday."

Silvio: "Everyone tries to get my attention, resulting in fierce competition."

(This is such a hassle.)

Birthdays were nothing more than diplomacy and negotiations. Honestly, I wasn't excited about it.

(If only you had asked, I would've brushed all of this aside.)

(There are hardly any people here genuinely celebrating my birthday.)

Naturally, it wasn't always like this.

As the first prince, I have had glamorous birthday parties since I was a child, but their purpose was not for celebration; it was solely to maintain my mother's image.

That damn old man would only attend at first and then leave immediately, making it a laughably insincere birthday.

The number of attendees was small, and everyone celebrated out of obligation rather than genuine joy.

That changed when I gained money.

As my assets increased, more and more people came forward, expressing their desire to celebrate my birthday.

And that was how it evolved to the point where there would be long lines as midnight struck.

But those people, after saying “Happy birthday,” immediately shift the conversation to official duties and business matters.

Even though the number increased, in the end, it was still the same back then.

(But you’re different, Emma.)

(Hurry up and celebrate me.)

Even the next morning, the celebrations continued without interruption. After finishing breakfast and heading out into the city, the situation worsened.

(It’s even worse than last year. Probably because it’s been decided I’ll be the next king.)

There might be some among them genuinely celebrating, but I couldn’t help but be skeptical.

As I walked, trying to navigate the crowd, I suddenly felt someone firmly grabbing my arm.

It was Emma, desperately clinging to me, determined not to let go.

(Why are you so adorable like that?)

(Or not.)

Silvio: “You...!”

Emma: “If I don’t do this, we’ll get separated!”

Silvio: “Don’t do such things in public.”

Emma: “I was just holding onto your arm!”

Silvio: “That’s exactly the problem. “

Silvio: “Even though so many people are watching today, you’re too cute that I can’t keep a straight face.”

Emma: “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you!”

Silvio: “Ah, is that so? Then I won’t say it again!”

(Damn it. There’s no way I can spend the day as usual.)

(If you’re that desperately clinging to me like this, I’ll give you another chance.)

Using the knights to shake off the people, we managed to enter an alleyway.

Finally, we had a moment alone together.

Silvio: “Those guys should tone it down a bit.”

(How I behave depends on how this girl will act...)

(What's with this sad face?)

Contrary to my expectations, her face was filled with signs of worry.

(Where did that spirited attitude from midnight go?)

Her determination to celebrate seemed to have long disappeared. Instead of displaying virtues like modesty or consideration, she appeared to be consumed by negative emotions, despite her audacious nature.

Emma: “Prince Silvio...”

(I’m pissed. Damn it.)

(Why do you look so resigned?)

I grabbed her chin in frustration and kissed her.

Emma: “What are you...”

Silvio: “You just made a face like you’ve had enough.”

Emma: “Huh?”

Her eyes widened.

Silvio: “You should come at me more seriously.”

Emma: “What do you mean...?”

Silvio: “*sigh* You wanted to greet me, right?”

(How could I not notice this, you idiot?)

Silvio: “Then don’t give up until you give me everything you got.”

(No need to be modest.)

(So reconsider.)

I messed up her hair and turned my back.

I returned to my official duties, suppressing the urge to take her away immediately.

Nokto: "Hmm, you seem a bit grumpy this year."

Silvio: "You can tell?"

A party was being held in the dance hall as my birthday reached its final stages.

Since entry was only allowed with an invitation, familiar faces, including that fox-faced Rhodolite, were here.

Nokto: “Do you want me to guess?”

Silvio: “No need.”

Nokto: “If you want to be with Emma, you should just say it honestly.”

Silvio: “Shut up.”

(He’s sharp in these situations, and I don’t like it.)

Nokto: “But if you continue like this, your birthday will be over.”

He looked over at Emma, who had a thoughtful expression on her face.

Silvio: “It’d be more worth it if she willingly asked me herself.”

Nokto: “Why?”

Silvio: “Why do I have to explain it to you?”

(Purely because it makes me feel good.)

(And it’ll show that she really wants to celebrate with me.)

Although I didn’t put it into words, Nokto seemed to have sensed something and shrugged his shoulders in exasperation before leaving.

Immediately after this, an incident occurred.

Silvio: “What are you thinking, you idiot!?”

As soon as I returned to the room with Emma in my arms, those words slipped out uncontrollably.

Emma: "I told you it was a gift!"

Emma: "God, you're so shy!"

Silvio: "Who are you saying that to, you damn woman?"

(I was waiting for you to ask me to give you my time, but you chose that method.)

(And even did it boldly in front of so many people.)

(That...)

Just remembering that embarrassing incident made me blush and feel overwhelmed.

(No, I can forgive "that", but not after what happened after that.)

Emma: "If I did that in public, I knew you would react this way."

Silvio: "You...!"

Emma: "Are you mad at me?"

Silvio: "Of course not. I'm just..."

(Aren't you aware?)

I gently placed Emma down in front of the mirror.

Even though she was confidently and cheekily saying those things, she seemed to have finally noticed that her face was completely flushed.

Silvio: "Don't make that kind of face in public. It's making me want to pounce on you."

(This face is something only I should see.)

Emma: "I-I'm sorry."

Silvio: ".........."

Emma: "........"

We gaze at each other through the mirror.

(Basically, you're late.)

(If you're going to take me out like that, you should have done it in the morning.)

As the silence dragged on, her expression became increasingly uneasy.

Despite her usual cheeky demeanor, she couldn't fully maintain an arrogant attitude, which caused me to burst out laughing.

Silvio: "Alright, alright, I give up. Sorry for teasing you."

Silvio: "From now on, I'll give you all my attention."

Emma: "Really? But you still have guests."

Silvio: "You're more important than any guest."

Silvio: "Besides, I'm sure everyone took the hint."

Emma: "Prince Silvio, aren't you tired?"

Silvio: "I'm not tired, so bring me the cake already."

Emma: "Why would there be a cake?"

Silvio: "There's no way you wouldn't get me one for my birthday."

(To be honest, I've never eaten a birthday cake before.)

While there was usually food at my birthday parties, a cake has never been brought out.

Just like in Rhodolite, there was a tradition here in Benitoite to celebrate with a cake, but the fact that no one really celebrates it wholeheartedly became evident in situations like this.

(Though that fucking dog has one every year.)

Silvio: "I'm hungry, so hurry up and feed me."

Emma: "Is that the reason you didn't eat much?"

Silvio: "It'd bother me if I couldn't eat your food."

(You don't need to pay attention to that little detail.)

Feeling somewhat uncomfortable, I sat down on the sofa and leaned back.

Surprisingly, Emma's cheeky smile shone brilliantly.

Emma: "I suppose I have no choice. Today, I'll spoon-feed you."

Silvio: "*sigh* Is that all? It's not enough, you know?"

Emma: "What? Do you want me to feed you mouth-to-mouth?"

Silvio: "Why did you think of something like that? Well, maybe it's not a bad idea."

Emma: "It's a bad idea!"

Silvio: "Don't you dare challenge the birthday boy."

(I'm beyond help since everything you say and do looks cute.)

Despite being exasperated, I gestured for her to come closer.

Without hesitation, she approached me, and I grabbed her hand and pulled her into an embrace.

Silvio: "I told you earlier to give me everything you got."

Emma: “Ah...”

(I've been feeling impatient today, so a cake and a present won't be enough to satisfy me.)

Silvio: “Just so you know, I won’t let you sleep until you’ve completely celebrated with me.”

I teasingly stroked her back, and she responded with a nod.

Emma: “All right. As you wish.”

(No take-backs.)

(I ain't holding back, so prepare yourself.)

Afterward, I got excited over my first-ever birthday cake and the handmade embroidered amulet bag she had given as a gift.

I thoroughly enjoyed my birthday, which was usually nothing but a hassle.

As for the extent of that enjoyment一

Emma: “I can’t believe it.”

Silvio: “Ha?”

Emma: “Isn’t it already morning?”

Silvio: “Yeah.”

She hadn't moved an inch since earlier.

It was probably because of the fatigue and the slick wetness between her legs that was preventing her body from moving.

(I didn't plan on holding her until morning.)

Contrary to my thoughts, I reached out from behind and touched her legs.

Even though I devoured her so much last night, the insides of my chest were still screaming that it wasn't enough.

Emma: "Your birthday is over."

Silvio: "It's not over until I say it's over."

(It's not really like me not to want my birthday to end.)

Just when I thought she might be surprised, I heard her soft laughter.

(I feel like she can see through everything.)

As if to express my discomfort, I buried my face in her neck, and her sweet voice further stirred me up.

Silvio: "I tasted a lot of you last night, but you're still so sweet."

Emma: "Prince Silvio..."

It looked like she was reaching her limit as she showed signs of wanting to escape.

I put my hand on her head and blocked her movement, not intending to let her run away.

Silvio: "I won't stop."

Silvio: "This gift belongs to me, and I won't let you take it away. If you understand, get ready to be loved."

Emma: "I don't want to."

Silvio: "Ha?"

Emma: "Because it's your birthday."

Silvio: "So what?"

Emma: "In other words..."

Emma: "It's you who should be loved."

(………)

Emma turned around and surprised me by kissing my lips.

She was usually shy and only gave peck-like kisses, but today, perhaps due to her lack of shame, she actively intertwined her tongue with mine.

Silvio: "You've become quite the erotic kisser, huh?"

Emma: "Whose fault do you think that is?"

(Is it because of me?)

I found myself laughing again at her blushing expression.

(Receiving birthday wishes from someone feels so good. I never knew it could make me this happy.)

(I wish this feeling could last forever. I’m already looking forward to next year.)

I’d realized for the first time how different it feels to be celebrated out of obligation compared to being genuinely celebrated from the heart.

No gift could match the emotions she had given me.

Emma: “I might just kidnap you next year.”

Silvio: “*sigh* I’ll make a special exception and allow it.”

Emma: “Don’t regret those words later, okay?”

(There's no way I'm going to do that.)

(Even if I receive anything else in the future, there's no treasure greater than you.)

Part 1 ╎ Part 2 ╎ His POV

[kurapikasjudgement]

The Bakery

C: Alex Turner X Fem! Reader

W: Angst, Reader is genuinely the sweetest, NO USE OF Y/N, Not beta read

E: A song fic based off of the song The Bakery by Arctic Monkeys (and technically Miles Kane). Song linked at the bottom.

S: You and Alex broke up but for some reason you see each other everywhere until you don’t…

Alex has always had a sweet tooth. There was this local bakery he would visit often. The visits lessened as he grew as a rising musical star. This was the key difference between the two of you. He was in college and paying bills by being a rock star by night while you worked a part time job at said bakery. Since he frequented it often you hit it off. But as his extra time lessened and lessened he began to lose what you two had resulting in an ultimate decision of a split between the two of you. He still misses you though.

After the break up he cut off his visits to the place all together. Until a friend of his who didn’t know about his past with you and the shop invited him to a little gathering between him and his friends. If he recalled correctly, it was during the time where you weren’t on shift so it should’ve been fine.

To both of your amazing luck, you had to pick up an extra shift to make up for a co-worker who had went on a vacation. Meaning you were stuck tending to the needs of the group for the duration of the gathering.

It was awkward to say the least. The friends who did know were nothing but polite to you but decided not to speak on the matter. As for Alex himself he got nervous whenever he was forced to speak to his ex-girlfriend who he definitely wasn’t over.

Throughout the time you exchanged glances and the tension grew more and more. He wanted to have the courage to speak to you but he just couldn’t muster it. And eventually everyone starts to head out from the bakery and he looks at you one last time before following behind everyone else.

***

The next time he saw you was at the post office. You do volunteer work there on Wednesdays and Thursdays (which he has no idea how you have time for). Unfortunately, he has a deadline with the recording company he has to meet and needed to mail something. All of his band mates seem to be conveniently busy right when he needs them so he has no choice but to mail it himself knowing you’ll be there. As soon as he walks in he can smell the faint smell of your perfume and almost wants to take the risk and back out. He doesn’t though.

He walks up to the register and no one is there out first. He taps the bell lightly and you look over to see it’s him. You seem to have a light debate with someone about going up before ultimately walking up to help him. The conversation is nothing but professional and awkward at that. No pleasantries are uttered except a light ‘How is your day?’ ‘Well, you?’ ‘Also well.’ You can’t even seem to meet his dark brown eyes for more than a second.

The interaction is as quick as possible yet still painful for the both of you. He leaves feeling almost worse than he did before, knowing that he had a chance to say something other than boring mail stuff but just didn’t.

***

After his time at the post office he lays in his bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering what he could’ve done instead. After a long while of reflecting he decides to just go for it and talk to you. Tomorrow he’s gonna go to the bakery and talk to you. He’s been craving a slice of your special apple pie anyway.

***

He builds up the courage and walks into the bakery wearing his sky blue lacoste that you used to love so much. Initially, he walks up to the register and sees it’s not you there but another co-worker. Maybe you’re just in the back?

“Hello, welcome in. How may I help you today?”

“This is sort of an odd request but…” He then goes on to ask if you’re there.

“I’m afraid she’s out sick today.” The worker responds kindly. Out sick? You never call out of work even when you are sick! He had to practically beg you to stay home whenever you caught an illness.

“Did you still want to order something or will that be all for today?”

“That’s all. Thanks anyway.” He says politely before walking out of the shop hearing the ding of the bell follow.

As he walks he thinks to himself about your interaction the day before. You were showing no signs of illness, if you were he’s sure he would’ve noticed. Maybe it is an overnight sickness thing? Or maybe he’s just starting to lose you and he can’t even tell if you’re not feeling well anymore. Or what if you’re not even sick and you’re out for some other reason? There’s just no way to tell.

What he does know is that wherever you are, he desperately wants you back.

[ilovetheriddler]

hiii im so sorry for spamming your request box but i got another idea for a joseph fanfic and my crush on him is horrendous 😭 in the first evil within game, sebastian mentions that he suspects that joseph has a crush on kidman if i remember correctly. and i was wondering if you could please write a fanfic about joseph and the (fem) reader where the reader finds out about sebastians suspicion and gets really jealous and starts acting kind of irritable and distant from all of them because of her jealousy? but she tries to hide how she feels so its sort of (not really) subtle but everyone still notices the slight change in behavior and gets a bit worried? thanks so much for your time again!!

Thank you for the request! I love this idea! I hope this is what you wanted and that you enjoy it! 💚

Irksome misunderstandings.

(The Evil Within) Joseph Oda x F!Reader.

Word Count: 908.

Contents: Jealousy, misunderstandings and rumors, Slight Frustration, kissing.

You sighed in exhaustion as you walked into the precinct. You had been up tossing and turning all night the night prior, all because of what you had overheard recently. Normally, you'd never easedrop on your coworkers conversations, simply because of how much you respected them and their privacy. However, you couldn't help yourself a few days ago, and as a result, you overheard Detective Sebastian Castellanos talking with another Detective about how he personally believed that Detective Joseph Oda had a crush on the new junior Detective, Juli Kidman.

Overhearing that had crushed you. Even if it was just speculation on Sebastian's part, the idea of Joseph ending up with someone who wasn't you was something that just tore you up inside. But, you and Joseph were just friends, insanely close sure but still just friends. So you felt somewhat guilty over your thoughts. Was it selfish of you to be upset at the idea of Joseph loving someone else even if it made him happy? Yes, but you convinced yourself that you were allowed to be a tad bit selfish, as long as no one noticed how you felt.

Of course, Joseph grew extremely concerned for you over the next few weeks. You were acting strange, distant, and irritable even. As though something was bothering you that you wouldn't say. And as your friend, it worried him. To the point where he wasn't even able to fully focus on his work that was in front of him. He stood up from his desk and walked over to where you currently were standing. He stops right in front of you, a clear look of genuine concern present on his face.

"... What's been bothering you lately, Detective...?"

"H-huh? Oh.... it's nothing, Joseph. Just um... some personal stuff, you know?"

He stared at you for a bit, clearly not buying your attempt at not actually admitting what it was. He could tell it was something bothering you more than just a "personal issue" by the way you were currently avoiding his gaze. It was clearly something to do with him that was bothering you, and that only made his worry increase tenfold. Had he done anything recently that would have upset you? He couldn't think of anything that he could have done no matter how hard he tried to think through the last few days. He stared at you for a few moments in silence, thinking before he sighed.

"...Please tell me if I've done something to upset you. I swear that if I have, then I didn't intentionally do so. You have my word..."

"...Why are you so worried about me...? There's nothing wrong, and I don't know why you'd think there is..."

The sudden sound of his hands slamming against the wall on each side of your head caused you to jump, slightly startled from his sudden move. He stayed silent, clearly working out what he wanted to say in his head. You felt your face heating up slightly with how close he was. The look of frustration on his face shifted to one of pure concern as he stared into your eyes, with an intensity as if he was trying to see into your very soul.

"...Listen, I care deeply about you. You're one of my closest friends. So I won't accept the answer that it's nothing, because I can tell that it's something to do with me.... so please... just tell me so I can make whatever I did up to you...."

"... I um... overheard that you have romantic feelings for Kidman... is that true...?"

He was surprised and confused by what you asked. After a few seconds, he couldn't help laughing a bit at how absurd of a misunderstanding this clearly was.

"No, I don't have any feelings for Kidman. What would cause you to believe that...?"

"...Well, I overheard Detective Castellanos talking about it...."

He rolled his eyes slightly at this. Sebastian had been under the impression that Joseph had feelings for Kidman, and no matter how many times he denied it, he wouldn't stop bringing it up. He couldn't help but be somewhat frustrated that such baseless rumors could cause such a misunderstanding with his friend. He smiled kindly at you as he shook his head slightly.

"Unbelievable. It's almost humorous how that ridiculous rumor just won't die down already.... it's so frustrating, especially since I actually do have feelings for someone... just not Kidman.."

"Huh? Wait... um... and who would that be...?"

"Hmm...? Well, it's you, obviously..."

You were stunned by how he just suddenly confessed his love for you like it was nothing. In fact, it genuinely left you speechless. You and Joseph had been friends for a while now. You would have definitely noticed if he had feelings for you, right? Well, apparently not, it seems. He couldn't help but let out an amused chuckle at your sheer confusion.

"I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, I just didn't want to potentially make you uncomfortable. Now... would you mind if I kissed you...?"

"Um... N-not at all! In fact, I'd actually like that a lot..."

He leaned in closer to you, slowly and carefully connecting his lips with yours. It was a soft and gentle kiss, with a clear sense of affection and love put behind it. Overall, you couldn't even be too upset with the whole misunderstanding from earlier since it ended up like this as a result.

[general-cyno]

Having a lot of feels and thoughts abt stamp Nai's relationship with Rem so here I go.

I know Nai's yandere brocon behavior tends to overshadow other parts of his character in the anime, but the idea that he hates Rem out of jealousy bc of Vash's love for her isn't really it imo or at the very least not entirely. Nai is... a very contradictory character and as a narrator he's unreliable as hell, his perception of events is deliberately distorted (from a narrative standpoint, I mean) and warped by trauma and the beliefs he clings to as a result of it.

As far as the childhood flashbacks in tristamp are concerned, there's no indication that Nai felt insecure or envious of Vash's relationship with Rem and they both interacted with her in equal measure (which I actually found interesting bc in the manga, we only see Rem talking to Vash abt the geraniums, in tristamp they're both present) previous to the discovery of Tessla, that is. And there's still mostly a blank space within the aftermath of Tessla and Nai causing the Fall that we know nothing about aside from that brief conversation between Vash and Nai in ep 11.

Albeit his personality as a kid is pretty different from his manga counterpart's, you can still see that Nai was happy with Vash and Rem in ship 5 and he even got all shy/flustered when she was affectionate towards them.

Idk but that doesn't look like a child who actively resents or fights his mother for his brother's attention. And curiously enough, while the piano (and the duet) is Nai's direct link to Vash, it is ironically his tie to Rem as well. It is imo perfectly framed here in these shots and dialogues from ep 11:

(Note how Nai avoids answering Vash's question here and deflects by bringing up the memory of Tessla.)

That's the piano Nai plays in ep 9 during the duet flashback, and here the three of them are framed directly in front of it AND the flowers. If the geraniums are used as a symbol of Vash's connection to Rem, you can probably see where I'm going here when the piano - which is mostly Nai's thing throughout the story - is shown this way. I have more to say abt this ep but I'll go back to that in a bit.

In ep 9 we get the most blatant lines from Nai depicting his possessiveness toward Vash and his resentment not for Luida as an individual, but what she represents - a Rem-like, human figure in Vash's life that keeps his brother from choosing Nai's side. Nai doesn't know Luida, and he very likely had no idea Vash was staying in ship 3 (Conrad himself was surprised to see her) so when he says you witch, how many times? how many times will you steal him from me? He's not seeing Luida - he's seeing Rem. Which is emphasized by the fact that, previous to that, Vash himself mentioned Rem by name when he retaliated against Nai and tried to stop him from his attempt to kill Luida.

"So that means he resents Rem bc she takes Vash away from him!" Yes... but that's not all of it. Imo, part of the betrayal Nai feels everytime Vash chooses humans over him is, in a way, an extension and amplified version of the betrayal he likely felt when Rem herself chose not to take his hand and escape with them during the fall. Whether him reaching out to her was genuine or not is up for interpretation, but considering that we never saw Knives in the manga do the same - to me, that's a very deliberate addition in tristamp's writing.

As for Nai feeling betrayed by Rem's choice... You have to understand that from Nai's pov, Rem hid the gruesome truth abt Tessla, and discovering her mutilated body probably put a lot of things into a very different perspective for him. Being registered on the same database as his Alive But Torn Apart Sister (with Vash's info ominously saved in the same folder as hers) who was kept in the same room as the ornamental flowers mixed up with Rem's insistance that Nai should pretend to act human/hide his powers from the other crewmembers in a hypothetical/future situation must've seemed extremely grim in retrospective, even if Rem was very likely doing that to keep him safe. Still, he offered his hand to her and Rem chose to stay and save humans instead. The same humans that had, from Nai's pov, hurt his sister and would've probably done the same to him and his brother.

Which brings me back to ep 11 and this bit in specific:

Read above then read this dialogue again, remember that Nai is (among other things) the king of projecting his issues onto Vash, and well. Shit starts making a lot of sense. Another thing that's worth noticing in this scene is that, throughout the memory manipulating, Nai wears just his bodysuit. It's only when confronted with the memory of Rem and erasing her from Vash's mind (killing her, again) that he hides behind the blade-cloak. Very interesting and deliberate visual choices.

Also important to point out that Nai's paradise free of pain, fear and humiliation is one that's a replica of the garden back on ship 5. Even after doing his best to erase Rem from Vash's memory, the safe and happy place that he desperately wants to go back to is that in which they both lived with her.

Despite his very ehem. questionable methods, I do think Nai is genuine in his wish to protect Vash and liberate their sisters and that yes, he does resent Rem or rather, what Rem represents when it comes to his relationship with Vash. Thing is, Nai tends to downplay his own feelings, bottling shit up and using Vash as conduit for hardcore projecting.

Imo, Nai doesn't resent Rem bc Vash loves her. He resents that her beliefs and her sacrifice for humanity's sake were imprinted so deeply into Vash's being that he keeps doing the same - choosing humanity over Nai, even to his own detriment. Nai keeps losing Rem and Vash to humanity again and again and he hates it, but the most tragic part of it is that it is pretty much a hell of his own making.

[lemonthepotato]

Muffins: Enneagram Analysis

[Art by Reitanna Seishin, DA]

The Enneagram of Personality, or simply the Enneagram, is a model of the human psyche which is principally understood and taught as a typology of nine interconnected personality types. There are nine types, each with their own adjacent wings and tritypes. The enneagram relates back to your childhood, and our wounds inflicted onto us. Where will seven highly traumatised ill ponies land? Well, that’s what we’re here to discuss.

I’d like to say, the irony that I so confidently type these characters, when they’re so obscure (in this context) and the fact the only other typology analysis I’m working on is for Daigaku Gurashi is very telling. I did guess the Yandere Simulator enneagrams. But like, that’s a can of worms I’m not getting into now. Point is: there’s a reason I stick to obscure characters.

I am not confident in my analysis. I’m getting better at typing characters, but ultimately, I have a hard time reading others. Character analysis isn’t my forte. Luckily for me, I had a hyper fixation with muffins on and off for a very long time, on and off. While the hyperfixation has passed, and I no longer care for this fic, you know I had to do it to them.

LET’S GET IT CRACKING.

Pinkie Pie - Muffins Pinkie Pie is a butchering- I mean re-imagination of canon Pinkie Pie, who is commonly seen as a sp2 or so7, but analysing Muffins Pinkie Pie paints an entirely different idea. First of all, let’s go through the Muffins quiz, which I have all the results to saved on my phone. The answers indicate a cognitive dissonance, or perhaps faux-affably evil persona. Reitanna paints a complex image of Pinkie. Pinkie is manipulative, lacks any care, and truly evil. (“High acts of cruelty require empathy.” - she knows what she’s doing.) She’s prone to anger outbursts when her friends are disrespected, and has a god complex. She uses others as a means to an end, only showing genuine love to the other 6. She hates when things don’t go her way (“You ruined everything!” To Twilight) and On Trial gives us the most characterisation of Pinkie Pie. She pushes the blame onto others for her actions, truly not caring about anyone but herself and her bakers. Pinkie says she “controls” others, showing a desire for control. Pinkie is a SP7. with a 6 wing? “Ichazo called SP7 "Defenders", people who have a need to band with others who have similar interests, having a passion for inclusion that leads to relationships of mutual protection…”

“The conservation E7 has become an expert at getting what he wants without asking for it. His basic conception is that things are not achieved by asking for them: either they take them, or they cheat or speculate to obtain them.” “He questions everything and has a certain degree of anger with life, little manifested. Basically, it underlies the difficulty of character for devotional love and recognizing the other. Similar to the E1, in the feeling that others are not trustworthy, that people are imperfect, but without taking the trouble to try to correct others, conservation E7 isolates itself from the world in its particular garden: that of the “family” or the feeling of involvement with a network to link, as a defense against a life that it understands as chaos and that reinforces its idea that pleasure and non-stop are the only possible escape routes.”

“They tend to sweet-talk those they are close to, and are very persuasive; anyone will be welcome as long as they get what they want. In their conversations, there can often be hidden motives and if they can sell you something on the way, they will. Making business is one of their passions. In addition, they are capable of even tricking and cheating themselves while maintaining the charming facade that allows them to get what they want when they want it. You could say if the occasion requires it, they can become quite manipulative and clever.”

I think this summarises Pinkie pretty well, but I’m not 100% sure of this typing.

Inkie Pie

Inkie is self-confident and doesn’t care what others think about her. She uses others and doesn’t view them as humans. (“I see... a toy. A plaything put on this world for my amusement. These toys are sentient, they have thoughts and feelings, they make decisions that impact how they live, they have desires and fears... but I find I just don't care. There are only a few people in this world that I would never harm. Everybody else is worthless, their lives mean nothing to me.”)

She resents peace ("I just can't stand peace. I find the beauty in the dissonance.")

She bottles up her emotions to avoid getting hurt. (" guess bottling everything up wasn't very healthy..." just wanted to keep from getting hurt, but it hurt me more emotionally than a smack from mama ever could." She met the yellow eyes of her sister. "I'm sorry. I know that must've been a pretty ugly sight.")

Textbook Eight. I just don’t know what subtype. “Eights are self-confident, strong, and assertive. Protective, resourceful, straight-talking, and decisive, but can also be ego-centric and domineering. Eights feel they must control their environment, especially people, sometimes becoming confrontational and intimidating. Eights typically have problems with their tempers and with allowing themselves to be vulnerable. At their Best: self- mastering, they use their strength to improve others' lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring.”

I’m gonna guess SX8w7, but I’m honestly not sure. The way she treats Stella, like an object to own over a person, is really telling. The thing is, despite being a SX8 stereotype, her writing is sorta inconsistent in this regard. So I have no clue really.

Blinkie Pie

Blinkie is a hard character to type. Her only personality trait is “angry,” though I suppose there is some complexity beneath the surface. She’s still very barren and doesn’t have a single chapter outside of All That Glitters. Reitanna heard “hey, you should write more Inkie and Blinkie stories” and wrote 3 Inkie stories.

Blinkie is vain, materialistic and judgmental. She despises those that has what she doesn’t, and has an extremely low self esteem. She views herself as an average mare, because she was told being a pretty mare was something to be ashamed of. Ironically, we learn the most about Blinkie in Inkie’s Stellar Obsession. Blinkie is shown right off the bat trying to start a fight and mocking Minkie. She spends the whole chapter in resentment of Inkie for choosing a pretty mare to kill.

Blinkie shows an interest in being special and unique. "Why are you so pretty and perfect? Why are you so special?… I hate pretty mares because I want to be pretty like them! We average mares have to work hard to look good, but it just comes so naturally for you, doesn't it?"

She’s also very self critical. ("Your theory is good, but what if we mess up?" asked Blinkie Pie. "If I do this wrong, I'll hate myself for weeks, you know how I am!")

From this information, and outer context “She thinks that everypony is below her, all except her sisters, apple bloom, and Derpy.” “Blinkie pie is easy to tick off, and very prone to jealousy and spite. she barks orders, seeming to not know the meaning of "please" or "thank you," and specializes in jeering and taunting at those she considers lower than herself. she likes things to go HER way, which isn't usually a problem with her sisters or rest of the team because they coordinate so well. if one of them does something wrong, she will groan and play captain hindsight, stating that they shouldn't have done that.” So, from this, we can determine she is a SX4. That might be suspicious sounding, but let me explain.

“They then make others suffer as an unconscious way of trying to rid themselves of painful feelings of deficiency. They are the kind of people who’d rather be hated for who they are than be loved for someone who they are not. They stick out from other 4s due to their harsh and aggressive attitude, often described as shameless and feeling a strong rejection by the world as their inferiority gets replaced by aggression. Often they have a underlying hatred for their rivals and their rivals are the ones they personally feel is worth striving for…” “someone who believes that if someone is popular they must be worth striving for[1], resulting in hate, competitiveness and an aggressive outlook caused by suffering in childhood.”

“E4s are not afraid of originality and often enjoy feeling different. He loves to be special, unique, and original. And he succeeds. You can speak very explicitly without conforming to good manners, as well as dress flashily and against the grain. His desire to be peculiar makes him also brave and adventurous, minimizing risks and dangers.” She wants to be pretty and not average.

I wouldn’t say she’s an 8, as there’s more vanity and self-image issues beneath her.

Minkie Pie

Minkie Pie is also a 4, so4. She is spiteful, angry and unforgiving. She takes her anger out on anyone she sees, and looks down on those less hurt than her, while seeing those who endure pain as stronger. She is convinced her destiny is to remain locked up, and wants to be accepted for who she is, which is only her trauma. She feels dead, only feeling accepted by her sisters. She is no one without her trauma. She judges the world for her own pain, and wants her “play dates” to know her story.

Minkie isn’t a very well written character. But this is how she comes off. She’s been hurt, so she wants to hurt others. She views herself as damaged, and that she can’t be fixed.

“The Social Four appears emotionally sensitive (or oversensitive), feels thing deeply, and suffers more than most people. For this Four, there is a desire to be witnessed and seen in their suffering. They hope that if their suffering is sufficiently recognized and understood, they might be forgiven for their failures and deficiencies and loved unconditionally.”

“Naranjo explains that Social Fours are people who lament too much and who often put themselves in the victim role. They can appear self-sabotaging when they broadcast their suffering and their victimhood as a way of engendering sympathy in others, but they also undermine themselves by being too attached to the causes of their suffering.” “In public, social fours repress “frowned upon” emotions like anger or hatred and may appear sweet, friendly, and soft- (like in ‘meet the team’) but in private, they may express their emotions they store up in social situations and become aggressive. Generally, they prefer to swallow their own poison rather than externalize it to the people around them (this is the only exception for Minkie-) , and they typically have difficulty finding their place in a group and in society. These fours may experience themselves as misfits, and yet they also tend to generate social situations of rejection to confirm their shame. They see themselves as victims and may view others as “perpetrators,” and they don't always take responsibility for their own actions or aggressiveness.”

Someone on Reddit wrote it like this, *Social 4 is the softest and most tender. They have a shy sadness, and a deep sense of poignancy. They wear their sorrow like a cloak, and they hope that their pain and despair will be accepted. If someone is willing to accept them despite their flaws, they feel as if they can finally take their cloak off. In this person there is an abiding awareness of rejection and of being an outsider or an outcast. This person possesses great sensitivity to any slights or signs of being different than others, as they often feel unworthy to be in their presence anyway. They feel out of place, with inherent flaws, and they fear they will be rejected for them. This can be surprising to other people, as they often have unique gifts and a keen intuition.*

*Social 4 can be drawn to outsider / counter-cultural movements, where one is accepted for being “different” or “against the norm”. They make a virtue of these differences, and often display them openly once they feel comfortable, as an expression of their identity. Sometimes they even take pride in them and become a little elitist. However, there is a secret wish that one was born ordinary (like everyone else) so they did not have suffer their differences so deeply. “Why didn’t God make me normal?”*

*Personal identity is all important to this subtype, and often they undertake a mission of self-discovery and actualization. They seek to make their differences matter, and even avenge themselves for their oddities that were once mocked or exploited. They daydream about accomplishment, but unlike the 3, they are prone to self-sabotage and emotional inhibition in the name of authenticity, and may back out when others begin to value them solely for their public image. They dream of the day when none of their flaws will be mocked, but appreciated for what they are.*

“In this Four, envy fuels a focus on shame and suffering by providing a constant source of pain: a feeling that others have what the Four wants. However, they believe that their suffering is also what makes them unique and special- there is a kind of … of others through suffering.”

Apple Bloom

Apple Bloom is a walking contradiction. A hypocrite, fake and optimistic. She doesn’t take responsibility for her actions, and can easily manipulate anyone around her. Blinded by rage, she becomes a horrible person over time. She re-iterates this in Apple Bloom Gets Her Cutie Mark and Silence Is Silver. ("Who cares if yer a good pony after all? Who cares if ya'd be a good friend? I sure don't! Yeah, after I cutcha open, I could totally fix ya right! But I ain't gonna. If everythin that happens happens, then ya can never really do the wrong thing, can ya? Yer just doin what yer s'posed to.")

IT GOT ERASED AGAIN. APPLE BLOOM SO3. DERPY SX7/IDK FUCKING SP6 IDC. BABS IDFK SP5?? SO5?? FUCKING SP8 dawg I’m too angry to care.

Not only did I get toothpaste on my phone, but I also found an mbti for Muffins. And I disagreed hard. Here’s the original post if anyone’s curious. Don’t hate though, I just want to credit them cuz taking an interest in the first place in MBTI AND analysing the silly horse creepypasta ponies is admirable. We are one in the same. Gotta say though, INFJ Minkie, ISTJ Apple Bloom- OUTTA THE POCKET.

Anyway this was my analysis. Muffins moment. Blinkie best girl. I’ve always loved her the most of all the bakers. I used to value Inkie as my 2nd favourite but idk if I agree anymore. Minkie is my least favourite, absolutely unbearable. I just like Blinkie cuz she’s just like me. I mean I’m a SX3… or am I?… fuck.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this analysis. Do you guys want an MBTI Muffins analysis? Attitudinal psyche? Oh, and put your own thoughts down below! If you also like this silly horse fic, and don’t identify as a “1w5” (AKA you understand the enneagram and THE FACT THAT WINGS MEAN WINGS) feel free to comment your thoughts. It’s ok if you think you don’t understand it well. :) I’m happy to provide you resources. be careful of mistyping!

Part 2. I don’t stand by everything there. I don’t use stackings nor wings often anymore.

[theinfinitedivides]

the MDL comment section for this drama is the gift that keeps on giving when it comes to (bad) takes on Gil Chae and Ryang Eum, and so i thought i should copy something i posted over there in response to several people calling Ryang Eum 'toxic' and a 'liar', as well as add a few extra things:

if we're going to bring up lying, then first off we have to establish that every member of this love triangle have lied to each other at at least one point or another during the series. Gil Chae lied to Soon Yuk about marrying him after he came home from the war if he protected Young Master Yeon Joon and also lied to Jang Hyun about said young master being the one she was thinking of when she called him husband at the end of ep 4, Ryang Eum lied to Jang Hyun about who Gil Chae had looked at when the announcement of war came during the sixtieth anniversary celebration in ep 2, and Jang Hyun lied to Ryang Eum about losing the dagger he had given him as a gift (token of love *cough*) when he had actually given it to Gil Chae to defend herself while they were on the run. it's probably not a good idea to start ranking the lies by the percentage of morality/who got hurt as a result bc that's mostly absent here—a driving concept in MD is that nothing is truly black and white—but that levels the playing field pretty evenly imo.

now the story Ryang Eum told in ep 8 on the journey to Shimyang is not toxic, by any means. it is a well-known folktale in Korea that has been retold both in various folk song recordings and in a 1972 film, and the basic gist of the story is that Gap Dol and Gap Soon loved each other but never quite said it directly/strongly enough (Jang Hyun and Gil Chae dancing around each other anyone?), hence Gap Soon getting married off to another man (Gil Chae's miliary officer suitor) and having his children. there are variations that have Gap Dol coming to ask Gap Soon to run away with him (besties if this keeps going where we think it might we're in danger), but that story was brought up in response to Jang Hyun's query of if it was possible to have one man in your heart for so long and not change, after his conversation with Gil Chae on the ridge; Ryang Eum said that it was, although he did note that 'you cannot do it by effort. nobody, no one can touch that forever until the day you die'. did he use this to partially warn Jang Hyun off of pursuing Gil Chae out of selfish reasons (i said in the tags of a previous post that that line sounded like he was talking more about himself than her)? yes. is he also genuinely concerned about Jang Hyun getting his heart broken by someone who is apparently in love with someone else despite her actions? yes.

we know, by now, that Ryang Eum is in love with Jang Hyun. we also know that Jang Hyun has squarely friendzoned him, though it's still up in the air whether he knows about Ryang Eum's feelings or not. so far, up to ep 8, he hasn't done anything we can really consider as sabotage to the main couple, and from what i've seen of the commentary on ep 9 hasn't done anything in that regard either (except return home early and possibly run into Gil Chae, but we all know the editing on these things when they want to conceal sh*t is shady af). if he really did decide to not to carry Jang Hyun's message in ep 10 specifically so that Gil Chae would go and get married anyway, then we can talk about crossing the line and entering the toxic SL arc and that, by extension, would warrant whatever tf is going on with him in the apparent ep 10 preview. (i have heard the rumors. they're not good) to me, he's not quite there yet. if he was, then we'd have to bring up Gil Chae and her multiple attempts to draw Yeon Joon away from Eun Ae early in the series, and i can hear the misogyny and Gil Chae hater brigade coming back again to join the party from here. if that doesn't happen, then, there's probably another reason why he and Jang Hyun are at odds. not sure if anything can be truly worse than that, but we'll see ig sksksksk

[aressida]

My entry: "To all families, all I wanted to say here is that, you must truly hate what’s left of your face to challenge me." - Aressida. 20.11.23.

Being restorative from all family alienation and trauma.

Families on both sides continue to cling to us year after year as a means of coercion and automatic redemption cards, but they might be clever if they were valued for who they are without feeling obligated or under pressure.

Hurt must still be recognized, though. When I do this, they know it irritates them.

"I don't like the way you deliver anger!" My mother-in-law got to her feet and gestured at me with a finger. When she did that, I literally barely got three words out. "Sarcastic!" Oh, she have no idea...

Try two decades. 20 long years.

She was the one who insisted on shifting the subject and preventing me from telling my side of the tale.

Please know that since you depend on me to be fair during our initial conversation, I will seize the opportunity to expose you.

For example, the way they consistently undermine authority, lead to conflicts in allegiance, and impede communication within the family. Then, as if it were our responsibility to get better and not theirs, they started sending us encouraging and self-help emails and texts.

All of it stems from an unreasonable dread of the judge, which is absent from "The Family." It's not even real.

I bring this up to ask whether the family has been able to evaluate their previous conduct and pinpoint areas where they may have made changes as a result of this time off.

Where is your introspection? Self-awareness? Examine your behaviors and actions in great detail?

It may be quite annoying when family members refuse to even admit that they are part of the problem. I get physically nauseous thinking about them "wondering why" we no longer talk to them, no matter how many times I tell them why they act like victims and play stupid.

Every time we try to reestablish boundaries and become better, the family talks down to us and challenges our way of thinking. Yes, you still need to show us that you genuinely care about us, even if I know you love us. Give your own approval to the other person instead of seeking YOUR own.

You show disdain towards our feelings. Stop. This is not about you. You always seem to find yourself defending your conduct in every interaction. Either you deliberately try to drive people apart or you make an effort to get along and work together thoroughly.

Because only my fiancé and myself are the only deaf members of the family, we often find out about family plans last, and often we will not even give them an opportunity to talk to us. They arranged us last. They should understand how immature that is as mature individuals.

The boundaries put in place as a result of the family's unwillingness to acknowledge the abuse and neglect that occurred there and the extent to which it harmed everyone's well-being and sense of value.

They are aware of this.

Not only did they give us the silent treatment outright, but a few of them even got other family members to assist in the same behavior. More often than one can count.

Similarly, when they ignored my family letter and pretended nothing had happened, it is also unacceptable. Without realizing that "family politics" was not at stake, they went on to recruit other individuals to join them in their struggle.

Why are they searching for supplies that may be obtained by taking advantage of the weaknesses of their preferred target and the sympathy of others?

That there is an obvious attempt to gain favor by discrediting the victim is intolerable.

No more games.

There should be an end to devaluation games and tactics like projection, belittling, manipulation, guilt, blaming, deflection, and passive-aggressive behavior.

This explains why it is evident that the family was already collapsing.

A narrative, are you game?

Out of jealousy, an older sister likes to tease and harass her little sister in front of everyone of their family and friends. All due to a skewed feeling of one's own significance, excessive arrogance, and a flattery-seeking impulse.

"Why are you letting her ostracize me from the family?" was the question I wanted to put to everyone in the family, especially my mother. However, nobody was eager to pay attention. All of it as a result of micromanaging my small existence, pitchforking, hidden putdowns, stonewalling, gaslighting, emotional neglect, and, most of all, being absent.

Are you aware of what an invisible child is? What does it mean for a child to be invisible?

I was that individual. I was called a scapegoat, alienated person, and problem child because of my deafness, inexperience, and early age.

Let me tell you why.

She would frequently give me negative feedback and pushback, which made me doubt my own worth and competence and made me second-guess my decisions and my judgment, all left me feeling stuck in a negative loop, useless, and without hope.

My family progressively undermined my confidence, leaving me with intense feelings of bewilderment and disorientation.

I personally believed that my sister's previous microaggressions were deliberate because it was subsequently implied that she hated and detested me as a youngest sister.

For what reason would my family not accept that I was traumatized as a child?

If my family acknowledges that I was traumatized as a child, then they must acknowledge that they failed as a family and did not shield me from harm when I was a child.

Because of this deep-seated fear, I also drift apart from other people as I become older. It is tough to stay composed when you are rejected without explanation. As a child, it worried me so much that I could not even begin to grasp why.

Growing up depressed, I mourned mostly by myself, learned to accept who I am, and realized that, under the circumstances, I had done the best I could have. To get my peace of mind back, I had to spend years learning how to put my trauma behind me and work toward recovery and health.

This explains why no one in the family, on either side, wants to own up to their wrongdoing and rudeness. That is on them.

You see why I refuse to let my daughters grow up in this poisonous family environment for this reason. May they find peace.

[homoeroticvillain]

i keep forgetting to post this so this is chapter one for the varied account of geist [2.4k words]

“Hey, Jello, Buddy? What are we even looking for here?” Said the young women as she peered around the dusty attic her friend had lead her to.

“No clue, Ang. Anything you interesting you can find, I guess” Replied Jello, a name that should be spelled Gelo due to it being a short form but all their friends took the much more fun approach for spelling

“How helpful.” Angie had known Jello since preschool and this whole situation smelled off, and she swore that it wasn’t just the smell of the sheer amount of dust and probably mold in the attic. Examining the room she side eyed her friend as she asked another question, “I’m surprised you aren’t more broken up about this, you and your grandpa were pretty close weren’t you?”

“Yeah.” Came Jello’s halfhearted reply as they dug through a box in a corner that spit up a cloud of dust at them as they tried to card through it.

“Okay, spill.” Angie got to work on another side of the room while waiting for her friend to tell her what the hell was going on. It wouldn’t be the first time for Jello to close of their emotions but Angie was pretty damn sure she knew what that looked like and this wasn’t that.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” Jello turned around to flash a grin at their friend, an act that received the gift of some waded up paper tossed at their head, “Ow… what was that for?”

“For you being an idiot, just tell me what the hell is going on in that stupid little head of yours.” Angie glared at her friend, who was pouting at her in a way she had seen billions of times. She pitied anyone it still worked on.

“Okay. Okay.” Jello seemed to ponder to themself for a second, “Are you sure?”

“Yes!” Angie was annoyed with their antics at this point, apparently this is what she gets for trying to actually be a good friend for once.

“No need to shout!” Jello shouted back, “I don’t think Nonno is dead.”

“What? You think he faked his death or something?” Angie raised an eyebrow before turning back around to flip through what she was pretty sure was a box of old tapes, most of them labeled as movies she vaguely remembered watching with Jello when she was young.

“Pretty much, yeah.” Jello nodded as they flipped through the old books stacked everywhere, “Around a week before he quote unquote died, I remember him genuinely telling me he always wanted to fake his death.”

“…That’d do it, wouldn’t it?” Angie sighed, she wasn’t surprised really. It had been a long time since she’d seen Jello’s grandfather but it’d take a lot to forget that the guy was kind of off his rocker. Faking his death didn’t really seem like that much of a stretch.

“Mhm!” Jello loudly hummed in agreement as they held a book obviously upside down, “Either way Nonno left me all the junk in his attic in the will so there’s gotta be something good up here.” They tossed the book aside.

“Watch where you’re throwing things,” Angie barely dodged the flying book, “Anyways couldn’t you have gotten you’re brother to help with this instead of me?”

“Oh, c’mon, Ang. You know you know Nonno better then him.” Jello looked over at Angie with exaggerated disappointment, “Besides you know Adam wouldn’t want to get dirt under his fingernails.”

“God, yeah. I can hear him now.” And she could, she knew Adam well enough at this point that she could hear the exact cadence of his voice pitching higher as he complained about how he had just gotten his nails done and he wasn’t about to ruin them for this.

There conversation died out into a companionable silence as they both dug through boxes, flipped through books, examined old photographs, and on one notable occasion batted off a rat with a broom. An incident that resulted in Jello leaping up into Angie’s arms as she tried her best to balance both her friend and a broom to get the rat to run off down the ladder so they didn’t have to deal with it. Fortunately for the both of them, the rat commotion unearthed a box that looked like it had been dug through recently despite neither of them having touched it so far.

After they, read Jello, had thoroughly calmed down from the rat scare they both peered into the box. It was christened with a fresh envelope on top that read “To my dear grandchild, and Angelica who they likely brought along”

“Hey, what do ya know? Your granddad could read the future.” Angie joked as she picked up the envelope and ripped it open.

“Oh shut up.” Jello rolled their eyes but didn’t stop Angie from opening the letter herself.

Angie cleared her throat before starting to read the letter:

Kids, I assume if you are reading this letter then my will has been read, that or you have managed to scavenge through here without me noticing in which case good on you! Either way this letter is to tell you that I wish for you to carry on my legacy. You are welcome to share this legacy to any you see fit, although perhaps not my son, I doubt he would be happy I’m telling you about this at all. Nonetheless! It’s best to dig through this box a bit more to figure everything out. I wish you kids luck.

With Love, Your Nonno <3

“Huh. Okay.” Angie tossed the letter to Jello who only barely caught it and read it over again themself. Under the letter lay a thoroughly annotated book, “Hey, Jello? Do you know a Geist?”

“Geist the gentlemen thief?” Jello looked up from the letter which they folded and shoved in their pocket, “Yes. Obviously? Who do you think I am?”

“Well, I don’t know him. Who was he?” Angie stared down at the book she was holding as he prodded her friend with questions. She wasn’t surprised they knew extensively about some sort of gentlemen thief, she had heard plenty of rants about that sort of thing before from Jello.

“Well, he was only the most successful thief to ever live. He was active from the 60s to the 00s, do you know how long that is? He didn’t even stop cause he was caught, he just…. Disappeared.” Jello spoke excitedly while waving their hands enough that Angie had to lean forward more so as to not get caught in the crossfire. “He was mostly active across Europe but there are allegedly some cases of him traveling all across the world, I wish I could have been alive when he was still stealing but he stopped right around the time I was born, which is an absolutely awful coincidence, I curse God for it everyday… Why?” Jello seemed to finally realize Angie randomly asking about a famous thief from decades ago was odd, as they turned to her and raised an eyebrow. Or at least tried to, they couldn’t seem to get only one to raise.

“Well.” Angie held up the book which was adorned with a silhouette of a formally dressed men wearing a mask, “I think your Granddad was Geist.” She dug through the box for a second before holding up the mask the figure was wearing on the cover, a venetian style bauta mask that look old but well maintained.

“I think I need to sit down for a second.” Jello almost fell on the their way down, Angie joined them on the ground for solidarity, “Okay so. Nonno is Geist.” Angie nodded along, “And he is passing this title down to me, to us.” Angie nodded again, “I think I need 5 to 10 business days to process this.” Angie snorted.

“I’ll give you 20 minutes, this attic is stuffing up my nose.” Angie acquiesced and Jello nodded at what they were being given. They immediately collapsed face down into Angie’s lap, she patted their head in comfort. She was honestly impressed they didn’t explode, just completely blown to bits scattered across the room the moment they processed what they were being told.

Angie ran her finger through her friend’s hair, attempted to untangle the curly black mess residing on their head while she waited for them to become functional again. She let herself think for a moment about what this whole gentlemen thief thing would entail, probably crime but that wasn’t really a big hurdle for her. She’d been friend’s with Jello long enough to have broken into a few buildings for the sake of exploring, and she knew that she was the only reason they hadn’t been caught yet. That and calling Adam to pick them up a few times before she could drive. She remembered one time where they’d only known Adam for a few months and him being Jello’s new brother was still a bit of a rough subject for them but the two of them got locked in somewhere on accident and there was only one person she knew they could call. Then sure enough, Adam came rolling down the street to free them in full drag since apparently they had called in the middle of a show and the three of them agreed to never talk about it again. That was a lie since it came up at least once a month. Thinking about it now, it was sweet of him to drop everything to help even if she framed it like that both of them would deny that that was what happened. Idiots the both of them. Although speaking of idiots, it seems Thing 1 was finally alive again.

“We need more people if we we’re doing this.” Jello sat straight up only barely dodging knocking their head on Angie’s chin, “And we are doing this.” Despite their words Jello looked over at Angie for confirmation.

“That we are.” Angie confirmed, “No idea who you want to ask though, it’s not like you talk to people besides me. Unless you suddenly got busy after I graduated?”

“I talk to people!” Jello wave Angie off who had her doubts about their claim, “Wasn’t there some other junk in here?” They asked as they scoured the box some more, and held a stack of business cards held together by twine up in victory.

Jello untied the stack apparently forgetting that doing so would send cards drifting off all over the room, which is exactly what happened. Thankfully Angie managed to grab one of them before they scattered to every corner of the room. Angie inspected the card to find it was for a local mask artist, probably the person responsible for the original Geist mask that had gotten moved onto the floor. One of them should probably move that… It seemed old and expensive.

“What is it?” Jello popped behind Angie, an action that would have made her jump if she wasn’t used to their antics by now.

“Business card for a mask guy,” Angie gestured towards the now scattered cards, “These are presumably all of your Granddad’s old contacts.” Angie flipped over the card to see a handwritten message on it about the artist wanting to help Geist in the future, sounded useful to say the least.

“Ohh coool…” Jello trailed off as they started trying to gather up some more of the cards, Angie made a note to herself to buy a folder or something for all these. It seemed better then trusting Jello to not do this exact same thing again.

“Not very helpful for finding people to help as directly though.” Jello spoke up again after they had apparently decided they had collected enough cards for now, which they were now shuffling in their hands like playing cards.

“Why?” Angie raised an eyebrow, an act that Jello immediately tried to copy seemingly still upset about their earlier failed attempt to do so. It still wasn’t quite working.

“They’re probs all old geezers by now. Their knees couldn’t handle it.” Jello shrugged and shook their head, “We need someone around our age who’d be willing to help us with some most likely very illegal activities.”

“I suppose we do need someone else for that, two people isn’t enough for a proper group of thieves.” Angie tried to think on the people she knew, unfortunately despite graduating high school three years ago now, she hadn’t actually gotten to know anyone that much still. Turns out the only person you hang out with being your childhood friend two years your junior will do that to you. Not to mention that it was the summer and classes weren’t running at the moment so it’d be pretty weird for her to ask any of her school friends about something.

“How many people do we actually need?” Angie stopped her thinking to ask.

“4 to 5 I think? 4 consistent people then a love interest that switches out every new movie or season.” Jello thought to themself for a second before answering.

“I can’t imagine you getting that many people interested in you.” Angie stifled a laugh at the idea, she couldn’t remember her friend going on a date once in their life.

“Hey! I could if I wanted to!” Jello crossed their arms and pouted at Angie before cracking, their face bursting into a smile. A big grin crossed both of their faces and they bumped their shoulders into each other.

“Maybe I’ll be the one with the rotating love interests. I could do it.” Angie’s voice had the undertone of laughter as she spoke, even she knew that was unlikely but damn could a girl dream.

“Mhmm…. Sure you could.” Jello humoured her before laughing at her in the face.

“Okay. Okay. 4 people. We can do that, we already have 2.” Angie tried her best to get them back on track, a task she was thankfully succeeding in.

“Yeah! We’re already half-way there.” Jello seemed to be already patting themself on the back for that, as if they hadn’t just arbitrarily decided a number of people they needed for thievery.

“You know who we could ask?” Angie asked after a second, her brain suddenly striking gold. A gold that she wasn’t sure yet if she was happy with.

“Who?” Jello asked, their brows furrowed. An eyebrow focuses expression they could actually perform.

“Your brother.”

[ultravioart]

Relationship dynamics + a Ram x oc ship for my Mr. Support Omnic Deep Sea Welder oc (name pending), here are the ideas below: LONG text again, sorry lol. Color meanings: Does not get along, Suspect but sympathetic, friendly, and shippy.

Sombra: As per usual deep hacker shenanigans, she was able to figure out that this rogue omnic blowing up factories actually used to be human/have a family/is now an omnic running a human brain simulation of a real brain scan. (Insert some Sombra ARG 'hack the planet' vibes of her trying to figure out the big conspiracy, why would Vishkar meddle with human sentience/ai tech???) The oc is still very suspect of sombra, disliking the idea she could hack him at any time. Sombra's favorite animals are deep sea creatures so I can absolutely see her asking my oc for any pictures he's snapped of deep sea friends lol. My oc comes off as cold and stoic (leaning into the unnerving nature of the depths:tm:, of the unreadable retro-monster mystique of deep diver suits, and of his serious commitment to saving what he can of earth) but my oc would actually love discussing flora and fauna with enthusiastic participants. I doubt he would go out of his way to capture and show her pictures, but I can see him being all (squints) 'why didn't she hack me to access the pictures, is she toying with me by asking for permission?' only realize 'oh she respects my autonomy as an omnic... and human.' so there's that! I can see Sombra as being kind to him just as she is kind to Sigma. Less of a shallow "i pity you" and more of a well natured "well, someone needs to be nice to his guy"

Sigma: I think they have interesting conversations lol. Isolation has driven my oc's personality to be a bit unnerving to most humans, and I definitely think the depths have some kind of omnic influencing ai/signals down there controlling things like the Kaiju-bots. So I imagine venturing into certain underwater areas has made my oc second guess what he was seeing and hearing while in the middle of the oceanic dark abyss (again, my oc's human simulation saves him from complete control over his omnic systems). Weirdly enough, I think the two of them have this... understanding. Sigma definitely speaks in riddles, but my oc would get some of it, and even respond. Sigma has seen things, and while I think you could take Sigma's comment about the Iris as a joke or nonsense, I genuinely think he has seen it. So Sigma and my oc get along fairly well, with my oc treating Sigma like he had with his own aging grandparents when they team up. Outsiders are very wary of these two's convos lol, so the oc rarely discusses in depth with Sigma unless they are alone where they can talk freely. I don't think my oc would like Doomfist's philosophy. Yes, pressure can lead to adaptation, war has lead to incredible advancements in technology/medicine, but every person should be given a fair chance and a fair fight. My oc believes each species deserves a right to exist without extreme/stressful artificial measures placed onto them--we share this planet, 'playing god' with life that humanity arrogantly deems "lesser" is wrong. Adaptation is not about superiority, adaptation is simply a species fitting a role "good enough" and misconstruing nature's function lends to humanity's tendency for valuing false superiority over the reality that we share this planet together, we do not conquer it. So my oc loathes that conceited view and obsession with superiority, but Talon lends a very useful hand when it comes to taking down certain targets the oc wishes to stop, so he joins up for those missions, and those missions alone. Doomfist thinks little more of the oc than an asset, since he sees him as an omnic with a peculiar motivation, but that omnic certainly creates results. Oc absolutely feels pity for Widow, with Sombra's comments he learned of her real condition. What is worse, to destroy what you hold dear, or to have the capacity to care about it stolen from you?

Moira is a no-no, she uses animal testing and unethical experiments on humans which is entirely barbaric considering the tech the ow world has, and my oc avoids her. Thankfully she doesn't know his human nature, so she doesn't bother with him much, if at all. My oc see's Reaper in the same light as himself, and almost wishes he could connect with a fellow lost soul, but due to having to keep his human half secret, he never connects outright with Gabe, only offering small pieces of advice. Reaper dismisses it all, who needs life lessons from a robot (oof). Still, my oc is less annoying to Reaper than most omnics because at least he's quiet. Ramattra: oooooooo boy this one is a doozy! I originally wanted to make a offshoot omnic oc to ship with Ram bc yehaw Ram is a rizzler and I really like his character (cough cough very similar to Legends General Grievous), but this oc got kind of out of hand LOL so... yeah. Here we are! My oc hides his human side from Ramattra, not in so much that he is worried Ramattra would hurt him/his family, but that Ramattra would not trust him anymore, due to having a 'human weakness' (aka my oc is willing to sacrifice anything for his family, even if it meant going against Null Sector). The two have a peculiar relationship. Since Ramattra doesn't know about my oc's dual nature, he presumes my oc picked up all these human gestures from a pa as a repurposed butler omnic, who denied any semblance of omnic culture. My oc knows little to nothing about omnic culture, which leads to a lot--and I mean A LOT-- of hilarious misunderstandings between two. As stated in my other post, my oc loved traditional Sama-Bajau boat carving, among other sculptural work, and in turn took up pride in his repairs and welding work with his current omnic state. Because of this, my oc sees panels, wires, plates, clean welds, etc. as objects and craftsmanship to be proud of, not inherently intimate parts. Any semblance of personal space is lost on him when repairing omnics since well, he presumes omnics don't have "personal space" when needing repairs. Omnics are efficient right? That must mean they want an efficient repair. The fact he can actually repair parts of Ramattra that Ramattra couldn't otherwise fix without completely replacing, isn't lost on him though. My oc knows it's a unique skill and he uses that to levy agreements in collaborations to target specific polluting/destructive factories/facilities around the world that imprison omnics. Meanwhile, Ramattra is having a near systems reboot when my oc starts casually plugging in and offering to run diagnostics during a repair LOL. Beyond the amusing and sometime jarring momments, Ram is fascinated by my oc's unusual perspectives about things and... unique behavior. It's unlike anything Ramattra has seen in another omnic (he's human Ramattra, of course he 'isn't like the other girls'). Speaking of, since Ram's VA had been notably casted for two prominent MLM roles in the past, I headcanon Ramattra as aro-ace with a preference for masculine or neutral partners. (Ramattra could possibly be demi-romantic, if not aromantic? Idk how the whole "Iris-sentience-wash-over" thing works, because Aurora may have been alloromantic considering some omnics are romantic or open to romantic relationships. I think for now I'll just have an aro-ace partnership preference for Ram regardless.) For canony stuff, it's mostly just like, quips. More one sided than anything lmao. During repairs the Oc is all about roasting humanity as a whole until Ramattra directly makes some one off comment how all humans are (insert negative thing) to his presumed omnic repairman. And... Silence. Oh, the welder didn't like that comment. Alright then. This... is awkward. Maybe he should--Wait, why is he digging around in those wires--by the Iris, does this welder have no shame?!?! GAh--(meanwhile the oc is just speedrunning repairs because he is done with this convo, not realizing he's breaking omnic taboos lmao. Be gentle with those wires man, it's not fun to have sensory functions flicker.)

Anyway, lmao, I think the two get along really well, surprisingly so. Ram is surprised by how warm my oc can be considering my oc is usually stoic and quiet. Once you get to know him though, he has a jovial soul, and a passion for justice. Ramattra finds himself open to understanding more human perspectives though my oc (oc lies, and says it's things he had learned while being around humans before the crisis. In reality it's the oc's own life experiences). Thanks to Ramattra, my oc also finds himself loosing distain and prejudice against omnics/his omnic body due to his whole ordeal with being transferred into an omnic body and then rejected by his human community/family (and ON TOP of that, then rejected by other omnics when they had learned of his human nature). As he spends more time with Ramatra, he finds himself proud to be omnic, he is a part of a unique form of life unlike any other, crafted by organic life itself, and he wishes to use this gift to preserve the planet for future generations of all life, organic or omnic. Ramattra to, finds himself taking into consideration the impact of his actions on the organic life around him. Ramattra thinks that while humans may be organic, humanity had subjugated and abused all other organic life, omnics are just one of many victims to humanity's insufferable grasp.

other tid bits:

Bastion: This is more so aligned with "in game" noncanon lines heroes might share, but my oc would adore that Bastion is caring for Ganymede, who is a part of an endangered species, and wishes Bastion the best. :') If Bastion ever needs vet help, he's your guy.

LifeWeaver: We do be hating Vishkar out here. My oc would be very happy that LifeWeaver broke away and is pursuing ethical actions, along with trying to help conservation of nature. Technically my oc is also wanted by Vishkar, being Vishkar property himself (being a refitted hard light using omnic built and funded by Vishkar, after all).

I also think my oc would have complicated feelings about the animal experiments on Winston and the like. I think my oc would find it unnecessary and cruel, considering most animals in space projects were used for no return missions, or worse simply just tests to see if humans could survive in such conditions. Winston and fellow crew may have not been the ones sent on such missions, but one of their future members certainly would have been.

[sukibenders]

I honestly also really liked Saphne in Season 1, particularly when they were fake courting….I was wondering if you could rec some fics that dealt with That Scene or its aftermath with sensitivity and care?

Oh yes, I completely agree because the fake courting turned to genuine love was actually really cute. You got to see their playfulness and their quirks really well, and how they mesh. But following that episode, it kind of changed the perspective and not in a good way. I'll be honest, I've been searching on ao3 for fics that tackle the topic and, the results, range from either not addressing it at all to something a bit more...graphic to the least, definitely not with care (it's under the hurt/no comfort and I won't put you through that).

I have found some, but they vary, and I'll do my best to at least leave a good description of what happened so nothing (hopefully) surprises you as, even while in each of these fics that scene isn't discussed in graphic detail (unless stated otherwise), I still don't want to leave anything out in the open given the sensitivity of the subject at hand.

Petrichor by glorious_clio

(This follows the aftermath, in a way, if that scene where, in the first chapter, Daphne does apologize and fully admits to what she did to Simon, there's conversations about the dynamics of their relationship (from them both harming one another in a way, addressing Simon's relationship with his father, etc). I haven't read all of it, fair warning to keep in mind, but there is continuous notes of asking for consent (there's a lot of smut, so there's that) with Daphne learning how to proceed around Simon given what's happened to the author even stating that there will be no more breach of trust nor consent moving forward. This fic also falls under the unplanned pregnancy trope, which would have been better for both these characters and the story as a whole rather than SA.).

I'm Tired of Pretending ( we'll get through this together ) by melanoradrood

This fic handles the complex nature that was Saphne following that episode and their arrangement after it. It's very emotional, holding both characters accountable for the harm they did to one another. It does talk about what Daphne did to Simon, so just a fair warning even if it doesn't do so graphically. There is smut in this fic, but not until the end where they at least have had time to talk with one another. It is dialogue heavy, but it establishes Saphne developing healthy communication habits, especially with Simon working through his trauma with his father as they discuss the topic of children.

The Bassett Heir by Gilari

The fic opens up with it being very clear that Daphne SAing Simon does not take place, but she is aware of how children are made and the pair still do fight, especially here. It follows the unplanned pregnancy trope and, with Simon's own trauma, he reacts badly and so on so forth. It addresses in the first chapter of Daphne possibly convincing herself to go forward with her original plan, but she's disgusted with the idea and knows deep down that it's wrong.

periods, fast food, and female rage - A Survival Guide by orangepeelshortbreadcookies (they're amazing by the way, so check out their page as well)

This fic follows more closely with Eloise and Hyacinth more so than Daphne and Simon, but Daphne is there. Eloise and Hyacinth butt heads, fight, and come together and then there's a reveal from Hyacinth that she overheard Simon telling A&B what Daphne did (believing that it was his fault), to which Eloise at first doesn't believe but then later on gets Daphne to admit it. Fair warning, there is some denial on, not only, Daphne's part but Violet as well, who seems more akin to believe that just because she failed to give Daphne the talk that it's all good now and that it was, largely, her [Violet] fault. This fic juggles the complex nature of SA and how it can feel when you discover someone in your family, who you are close to, is capable of something so horrid and the impact that it can have. I think it does a good job at handling the subject, and rightfully holds Daphne accountable while still treating the subject at hand with care. This is a modern au by the way.

[chrishansler]

Marriage in Retrospect (Part 1)

Lisa and I were married for 36 years and were together for over 40 years.  Tomorrow would have been our 41st Valentine’s Day together, and the next day (Feb. 15th) marks one year since I lost her. All of my memories of those 40 years are good memories. But it has me thinking about what I learned about love in those 40 years. Here are some thoughts…

Be great friends. Love your spouse, yes. But always work on liking each other! Do things the other person loves to do, go places the other person loves to go, and find things you love to do together. Lisa, never a woodsy person in her life (her idea of camping was a motel instead of a hotel), went camping with me and grew to love hiking in the woods. And I spent countless hours walking the floors of malls with her eliciting an irrational fatigue in my legs. And we skied, and we traveled, and we danced, and we ate at our favorite restaurants together. We genuinely loved being together because we decided to love being together.

Be great lovers. It is great to be friends, but the uniqueness of a love relationship is a depth of intimacy that must go beyond friendship. There were times Lisa and I were good friends but lost the spark of intimacy. Intimacy takes work and has to be cultivated. And though great sex should be a part of a great marriage, intimacy must start long before sex. Lisa called it “into-me-see.” Get to know each other. We talked about 5 levels of communication that lend themselves to intimacy:

Level 1 – Cliches. “How are you doing? Fine.”  “What’s up? Not much.”

Level 2 – Facts. “What did you do today?” I went to work, picked up the kids, etc.

Level 3 – Opinions. “What did you think about what he said?”

Level 4 – Feelings. “How did it make you feel when that happened?”

Level 5 – Needs. “This is what I need from you”

 Each level requires greater trust, comes with greater risk and results in deeper intimacy. When the trust is broken or the risk results in pain, you will stay in the safer levels and never experience true intimacy. So be sensitive, listen, apologize, forgive, and keep being vulnerable. This type of intimacy will result in a great and meaningful love-life.

 Keep dating. Have a date night every week. There will be all kinds of reasons why you can’t – I know them all. But if it is a value, you can. You don’t have to spend money or even go out. Lisa and I were poor and had 3 kids under 7 when we decided we needed to have a date night every week. We chose Saturday night, and sometimes that meant putting the kids to bed early, telling them not to come out of their rooms and finding creative ways to have a special dinner, meaningful conversation and time together. But the effort expressed the value. And it is in those dates where we could have the level 4 & 5 conversations that I talked about above.

Don’t entertain the possibility of divorce. Put it out of your mind as an option. Don’t ever use it as a threat. I understand that there are reasons to consider  divorce such as adultery, abandonment and abuse. But outside of those, don’t even speak the word. You made a covenant. You are going to fight, and there might be some terribly difficult seasons. In those seasons, get help! Lisa and I had our share of those times when no matter how adorable I was 😉 she didn’t like me much. And I remember times when I was so frustrated that I thought, “I’m just going to get in my car and drive to Minnesota where nobody can find me.” Why Minnesota? I have no idea except that I didn’t know anybody there. I’m sure it’s a lovely place, but I’m so very grateful I never moved to Minnesota.  

Be a whole person. The idea that you need the other person to complete you or that you can’t live without the other person might seem romantic, but it puts way too much pressure on your spouse to do & be what she/he was never intended to do & be. Continue to work on being a healthy, whole, secure person on your own. The greatest way for this to happen is to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ and to find your identity in who He has created you to be. He is the One who can make you whole. Lisa and I continued throughout our marriage to work hard on cultivating our own personal relationship with Jesus. When we were right with God, we were good with each other. Because then we were able to give of ourselves in the way Jesus modeled His love for us – sacrificially, always helping the other person become what God intended them to be (rather than what I needed her to be).

There is much more to say, but I will save that for another day. 

Love is something you do. You choose to love your spouse every day. You choose to treasure them every day. So choose them again today. Love them today. I promise you, it will be worth it.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

[lilyswrittenworks]

First Match

Warning(s): None

Synopsis: You and Piccolo agree on a friendly sparring match that solely relies on each other’s skills through close quarter combat.

The odd little friendship you had with Piccolo had evolved over the course of months. From hardly talking to one another, to engaging in a conversation—well, it was mostly you that did all the talking. Piccolo might not be a man of many words–a Namekian as you had recently learned– however, his body language accompanied by the way he pays close attention to every word you say and would gesture for you to continue on whatever you were explaining is proof enough that he’s always listening.

Of the times that you aren’t rambling like usual, he would be the one to initiate a conversation with you. In those moments when he did, it was him giving you pointers on certain techniques you were practicing, even sharing you a great deal of knowledge about his own martial art skills.

That’s what he was doing right now, the only difference was that he was genuinely intrigued by your own techniques.

“Those techniques… are unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Where did you learn that from?”

You chuckled at his genuine curiosity as you straightened yourself from your stance. “They were taught to me by my sabumnim, of course I perfected them over time and tweaked them to my liking. Don’t get me wrong I still uphold her techniques and will continue to do so in her honor. But I am always experimenting with newfound techniques that work for me nowadays.”

His eyes shifted to the ground with his brows drawn together in thoughtful consideration before meeting your gaze. “I see… your master taught you well from the looks of it.”

You smiled, placing your hands on your hips and puffing out your chest with pride. “Of course she did! People often questioned her brutal training methods as being too harsh, as crazy as her methods were. It gave results.”

Piccolo raised his brows in surprise. “She? So your master was a woman then?”

“You sound surprised.” You saw his features hardened almost immediately to hide whatever he was thinking.

“Well, yes, it's uncommon to see any women being a part of the martial arts.”

Piccolo does make a valid point. Throughout your years of being a martial artist it was rare to see any women taking part in a mostly male oriented art. Knowing that not many young women take part in it is mainly due to the lack of inclusivity especially the stigma that women shouldn't be involved because of some dumb reason to scare them off and it was frustrating. You wanted to make a change, the same way your master did too to get to where she was. You worked your way up until you were worthy enough to open your own school and teach not only young boys but to young girls as well.

“You're not wrong. That's why I became an instructor in the first place. To prove those egotistical instructors and masters alike that a woman can be better and stronger than a man.” You adamantly expressed.

Before he could even respond you had suddenly blurted out.

“Fight me.”

His eyes widened and for a moment his left knee gave way in a comical way but he quickly righted himself. He wasn't even certain if he heard you correctly, quite ironic since he has a good sense of hearing. “W-What?!”

“I said: fight me.” You repeated.

Your eyes remained locked onto Piccolo for a response. He remained frozen in place struggling to find the words and was hesitant to accept your request. You could tell from the look in his eyes that he was having an internal debate and you found it funny that he was freaking out about fighting you.

“How about this,” He blinks to focus his attention on you, “We treat this like any other sparring match, with the exception of only using close quarter combat and kicks. No flying, no strange energy beams—you get the idea.”

You were hoping he would at least consider it even if he refused. It wouldn't upset you in the slightest, in fact, you will be looking forward to it when he does decide to accept your proposal. It makes you wonder why he’s even hesitating in the first place.

“Fine.” Piccolo unfolds his arms and begins to take off his cape.

To your surprise the pointed shoulder caps that were attached to his cape landed with a loud crunching thud. Is his clothing…weighted? You couldn’t believe what you were witnessing as he removed his turban revealing a pair of antennae that were hidden underneath.

Just when you were beginning to slowly learn more about him only to be reminded that there are still some details about him and his physiology that you're unfamiliar with. Fueling your ever growing curiosity towards him.

You gestured towards his discarded clothing with a chuckle. “Never would’ve thought those were weighted.”

Piccolo’s lips curled into a smirk. “Don’t tell me you're easily scared by the weights alone.”

Did he just…? He’s teasing you!

“Pff, please! I’m not so easily scared.”  You took a deep breath as you shifted your stance, positioning yourself into an L-stance. With your palms open where you extend your left arm outward matching with your leg and your right hand resting lightly onto your forearm. This was your signature fighting position. “I’ll be letting you know when we should start. I'm looking forward to this.”

“Is that so?” Piccolo followed suit. The smirk being more prominent that you could see the white of his fangs poking out from under his lips. “I won’t disappoint.”

You and Piccolo remained grounded from where you two stood— still as a statue—until you shouted.

“Shijak!”

With unnatural speed, Piccolo bolted to strike you with a flurry of punches, of which you barely avoided if not for your instinctual evasion. He kept on striking with his speed to overwhelm your small frame. You won’t lie, it had taken you by surprise and you should have known better since he’s another race entirely, a Namekian no less. Gradually as you kept up with his pace you were able to predict his movements.

Without warning you evaded his oncoming strike and then simultaneously grabbed a hold of his wrist and struck him in the knee which caused him to lose balance. In one swift motion you twisted his wrist and used your free hand to add pressure to the back of his neck, more particularly where a pressure point was located. Piccolo’s body went slack for a moment before his muscles flexed and was overcome by a wave of pain from both neck and wrist. He was gritting his teeth and his eyes were shut.

You then manipulated his body to move wherever you pleased and so you took him by the edge of the lake and then tossed him in.

By the time he went under you had already moved far away from the lake as you waited for him to resurface. You watched as the surface bubbled—the water rippled and suddenly breaking the surface was Piccolo soaked to the bone that his gi was sticking to his skin. It was comical seeing him dart his head around before eventually turning around to face you. He wasn’t all too thrilled that you had puppeteered him so effortlessly and then had the balls to throw him in the lake. You could tell from the glare he was throwing at your direction that no one had ever thought to throw him in the way that you had, in fact, you were the first.

Your body moved along with the strong gust of wind that was hitting in your direction causing the fallen leaves and wildflowers to fly around with the current that was swirling around you. Your right leg curled elegantly in a semicircle, positioning yourself into a more grounded stance. Using your extended hand that was pointed towards him— “the giving hand” as you’d like to call it— and coaxed him to come over.

Predictably it set him off.

He jumped out of the water and once his feet touched the ground he instantly made a dash. When he was close enough he went for an uppercut initially aiming towards your stomach, however you simply moved out of the way at an angled displacement and struck him hard by the side of his neck with your fingers.

Piccolo cried out in shock, the feeling in his right arm was rapidly weakening as you went to strike him from behind. He was quick to recover however, and whipped around to grab your arm in an almost death grip, which he had to lessen so as to not accidentally break your arm. Piccolo was preparing to yank you towards him until you utilized a quick sleight of hand movement to free yourself from his grasp giving you a chance to distance yourself from him.

He was beginning to grow frustrated at how easily you have been outmaneuvering him with such little effort, barely breaking a sweat. Meanwhile, he was starting to pant and sweat was trickling down his face.

As he went to do a back kick only for you to dash towards him effectively stopping his kick midway through. You grabbed his already weakened arm by the wrist and twisted it in the opposite direction using your other hand to hold down his shoulder and forcefully made him bend over. There you forced him to follow you into a circle and he had no choice but to follow alongside you.

In the midst of it all the moment the two of you locked eyes and time seemed to slow down. You were fixated on him with a smile that reached your eyes. Through Piccolo’s steely gaze you caught it just in time when there was a quick subliminal look in them that you couldn’t quite pinpoint what he was trying to convey to you.

Then time seemed to resume and so did your match with Piccolo. Exchanging blows, blocking, and counter attacking each other’s strikes. Piccolo went to push you away; he had accidentally used too much of his strength and because of this mistake he had sent you hurtling towards a tree. Almost immediately he extends his arm to incredible lengths catching you by the waist and pulling you towards him.

Your head was spinning for a good minute and massaging your temple to ease the wave of nausea that swept over you. Meanwhile Piccolo kept a close eye on you with his arm firmly wrapped around your waist until you had recovered your bearings.

Piccolo carefully lets you go. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m ok.” Your hand was pressed up against his abdomen for support. When you met his gaze you were surprised to see the worry written across his features.

This is the first time you’ve ever seen him show a visible reaction besides the usual stern, if not, indifferent front. Seeing him worry for you was causing your chest to swell with a strange warmth.

His eyes examined you one last time as he then hummed in thought. “You fought admirably back there. It’s not everyday I get to spar with someone that’s different from what I’m used to.”

“Different is good, you know?” You hid your hands behind your back and averted you eyes to the ground where your hair covered just enough to conceal the redness of your cheeks, “It has  helped me in many ways by just sparring with different people, because if you think about it, do you really think your learning by sparring the same person? Or maybe someone similar? Not really.”

As you looked up to him the redness of your cheeks were no longer present and the corners of your lips curled into a smile. “Thank you for accepting my proposal, Piccolo. I’m looking forward to sparring with you more often from now on!”

(2,009 words in total)

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Part I

Part II

Part III

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Part V