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valeisaslut · 24 days ago

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lost in the fire - mdni (+18)

⚢ pairing: Ellie Williams (The Last Of Us II, 2020) x Reader 𖥔 ݁ ˖

ෆ synopsis: It all started off as a game. A game where both sides won, the normal friends with benefits thing. The problem is that, more often than not, what sounds perfect in words is rarely perfect in practice. 𖥔 ݁ ˖

⭑ word count: 7.14 k 𖥔 ݁ ˖

♱ content: angst and smut!!, dom/switch! Ellie, sub/switch! reader, fingering (r! giving and receiving), oral sex (r! receiving), pet names, mention of parties and alcohol, a real rollercoaster of emotions, got a little dense with the fire analogy, kinda really cheesy bc im a hopeless romantic and got poetical at the end, etc. MDNI!!! 𖥔 ݁ ˖

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ Hey! SO...... SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING LMAO, I was busy with college and had no imagination, BUT IM BACK! AND WITH A 7K WORDS FIC! (thank you the weeknd's song for bringing back my writing skills) This is one of my fist smutty fics and english isn't my first language, so if there's some misspelling or writing mistakes I will be happy to receive constructive criticism <3 𖥔 ݁ ˖

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Anyone who plays with fire, most of the time will end up getting burned.

And if you keep playing with fire after you have been burned, only ashes will remain.

It all started off as a game. A game where both sides won, it sounded perfect. The problem is that, more often than not, what sounds perfect in words is rarely perfect in practice.

You and Ellie have been friends since high school, and from the instant your paths crossed, you became inseparable. You shared secrets, laughter and tears, and you stuck together through the hardest times of your lives.

Together you grew up, watching as the shy pre-teens you once were transformed into two confident, strong college women marked by a bond that seemed unbreakable.

You trusted her more than you trusted anyone; she knew everything about you, and you knew everything about her.

Or so you did until now....

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

It all started off, literally, as a game. A night of laughter and music at a college party, surrounded by your friends, when the random fate of a “truth or dare” game traced the first thread of a destiny that neither of you could have imagined.

"_____, I dare you to kiss Ellie" Dina said with a mischievous tone after you chose “dare”, looking at you as she sipped her beer.

The question of “what would have happened” if you had chosen truth is a question that will be repeated for the rest of your life. The butterfly effect of that decision materialized in the first spark.

You remained static. You automatically turned to Ellie, who was sitting next to you. You two had never kissed before; you hadn't even considered the idea. But in her eyes there was something different, a particular sparkle, a mischievousness that completely disarmed you. On her face, a lopsided smile seemed to invite you to take that next move.

"So, _____, what you waiting for? A dare is a dare" said Dina with a smirk that mirrored the expectant gleam in everyone else's eyes, the air becoming heavy with anticipation.

"For god's sake, fine! I'll do it... but I don't want ANY jokes about it afterwards" you said, and with trembling hands, you approached Ellie slowly. You closed your eyes and felt her hand land on the back of your neck, pulling you into her and joining your lips in a kiss.

The kiss was brief, a sigh in time, but enough to release a swarm of butterflies inside you, fluttering with intensity. Her lips were soft, warm, and the scent emanating from her skin suddenly became intoxicating, enveloping you completely.

That fiery spark, which at first barely glowed, began to grow, transforming into a faint, but irrevocably unstoppable fire.

When you separated, her eyes were still fixed on yours, shining with an intensity that hid something deeper, a desire that you were both trying to conceal, a hunger that wanted more. Her freckled cheeks were tinged crimson, as so were yours, the color becoming more intense with each passing second. For a moment, the world disappeared, and only the two of you existed.

"Damn, that was intense" Jesse remarked with a surprised tone, causing the bubble that had formed around you to burst and bringing both of you back to reality. "Is it hot in here or is it just me?".

"Well, a dare is a dare, isn't it?" Ellie said, laughing a little trying to relieve the tension that had quickly formed in the air. She sit up and drank the last remains of her beer before talking again “And no, it’s not just you”.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

A month had passed after the party, but since then, an undeniable tension had been born between the two of you. Every time you looked at her, the memory of the kiss came back with such a force that it even scared you.

You told yourself that it was something stupid, a simple dare, nothing important. Many friends kiss, everything stays the same and then they laugh about it. But no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself, that moment and the feeling that echoed loudly in your heart haunted you.

But it was impossible to deny. It was impossible to hide.

"______.... have you ever... thought about our kiss again?" Ellie whispered as you both were in your room, hanging out sitting on your bed. You were chatting about stupid things, but the minute silence fell, Ellie could no longer hide the uncertainty that tormented her.

The question took you by surprise. You assumed that you would never talk about it again and the memory would fade with time. But it seems that you weren’t the only one who was still tormented by it.

"Well... yes. I think about it a lot" you admitted, unable to hide it any longer, and looked at her nervously "Why do you even ask?"

" ‘Cause I do too" she answered, her voice more husky and full of sincerity.

Silence fell between you again, but this time it was charged with electricity, that fire burning again, but now with more intensity. After a few seconds that felt like hours, Ellie spoke, her voice barely above a whisper.

"And would you like to..... repeat it sometime?"

You stared at her, your heart beating wildly.

"Would you like to?" you asked back, in a deeper tone. Both of your connected eyes emanated sparks around you and your bodies involuntarily moved closer and closer.

"You really wanna know?" she said, and her green eyed gaze went down to your lips, up to your eyes, and then down again to your lips. There was hunger in her gaze, pure desire. “I would like to. And I would like it a lot”.

"Then what are you waiting for?" you replied, no longer having the energy to fight the feeling. You madly wanted her to kiss you, and you couldn't hide it anymore.

Without further waiting, Ellie drew you to her in the same way as the first time, and her lips met yours again. This time the kiss was very different; more passionate, more hungry. Your mouths moved as if you wanted to devour each other, pouring that hunger in your gazes in the movement of your lips, in the way your tongues moved together.

That dim fire became a blaze that did not stop until you were both breathless. It was as if that relentless fire sought to incinerate the two of you, and leave behind nothing but ashes.

And that fire burned until it consumed the night completely, bringing everything to a point of no return. It was your first true encounter, where you shared a pleasure so immense that it seemed ripped from a dream. The outside world ceased to exist and you were the only ones left, immersed in that heat.

That night was only the beginning of something more intimate and secret. From that moment on, you both agreed that you would keep hooking up and continue your friendship as if nothing was going on. The famous “friends with benefits” as people often call it.

It was the best of both worlds, and for some brief months, it worked perfectly. Your friendship remained intact, and since you knew each other's most intimate side, it was as if a new level of trust had unlocked. At the same time, you had an amazing lover, who had shown you a pleasure that no one had ever shown you before, and you never wanted it to stop.

No one knew about what you had, it was a mutual secret that made everything more exciting, like something dark that made you complicit in something that felt even criminal. Your friends didn't suspect a thing, or at least they never dared to mention the overwhelming sexual tension between the two of you.

No commitments, no strings attached, no being exclusive, just pleasure with the person you trusted the most in the world. It was a balance that seemed impossible, but worked.

What could possibly go wrong?

.....

Everything.

Everything could go wrong. And to your misfortune, it got really fucked up from one second to another.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

It was a regular Saturday, surrounded by your friends at a college party. Ellie was there as usual, since she was part of your friendgroup.

The night was going on perfectly, dancing and having fun, while the alcohol was enveloping you in a warm feeling of disinhibition. Until suddenly, you noticed that the auburn-haired had disappeared, as if she had faded away without leaving a trace. You hadn't even noticed it at first, but when you did, something inside you began to wonder if her absence had any meaning.

You said you had to go to the bathroom, assuring Dina that you could go alone, because you were actually on your way to find her. As you walked through the halls of the big house, a deep gut feeling began to seep into your thoughts, an uncomfortable feeling that clouded your mind. As you walked up the stairs, that same intuition caused you to turn your head. And what you saw froze you.

You saw Ellie holding hands with an unknown girl, guiding her with steady steps, her gaze loaded with silent promises. With a subtle smile, she whispered something in her ear, opening the door of the house before fading into the darkness. Their silhouettes got lost in the night, both with a mutual complicity and desire that spoke louder than a thousand words. There was no room for doubt, it was painfully obvious what they were about to do.

You felt an ice-cold stream mercilessly piercing your chest.

A dense, painful knot formed in your throat, squeezing so tightly that you could barely breathe, while a bitter nausea shook your foundations. Your eyes began to water, betraying your effort to maintain your composure. You stood frozen on the stairs, as if by remaining still you could convince yourself that this was not real, but a product of your imagination.

The situation was ridiculous. You were nothing serious. It was just an arrangement that sounded and worked perfectly. Passionate encounters at night, mornings full of words of complicity, a shared secret. It shouldn't hurt so much.

Your legs moved to the door, starting to walk as if they had a life of their own towards your place. Thousands of messy thoughts were making a disaster in your head, until you felt a wet droplet running down your cheek. Why were you crying? It never meant anything. You were non-exclusive, she had the right to be with whoever she pleased.

Then why did you feel as if your heart had been ripped out of your chest, thrown on the ground and then stepped on? It was all just so stupid, you felt stupid. You meant nothing to her, and she should mean nothing to you. She should....

And at that very moment, the truth hit you with a force that suddenly stopped you in your tracks.

You had fallen in love with her.

You had fallen in love with her gaze, her smile, her face, her body, her humor, her personality, her nerdy hobbies, absolutely everything about her. You had always been, but since everything became so intimate, the feeling intensified on a huge scale, but up until now, you had never been strong enough to accept it. When you saw what you never wanted to see, the weight of your own feelings crushed you.

Friends with benefits, you agreed, although only now did you realize that you weren't friends at all. Not with the way she looked at you after every kiss. Not with the way your heart raced every time she brushed your skin.

You didn't want to realize what you felt for her before, because it terrified you. You were terrified that she wouldn't feel the same and loose everything you had; but what really shattered you was seeing her with someone else, as if what you had didn't mean anything.

You were head over heels in love with her, how could you not accept that before? It was so absurdly clear, and as inevitable as death. She inhabited your days and nights, your first thought when you opened your eyes and the last murmur of your mind when you closed them. She was everywhere: in the air you breathed, in the shadows of every corner, in the beating of your heart…

The fire that once wanted to consume you both had done its job, but only with you as its victim, devouring you cruelly and slowly. It left you feeling like cold ashes on the ground, temporarily carried away by the wind.

You walked back to your place, each step heavier and more painful than the last. When you arrived, you barely managed to open the door before your legs simply gave out. You let yourself fall, your back sliding against the wall until you hit the cold floor.

Then the tears, held back until that moment, poured out uncontrollably. You covered your face with your hands, trying to muffle the sobs that escaped from your chest, unable to handle the pain that seemed to tear at your heart apart.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

A week had passed since that day, and the memory still burned like an open wound. You didn't answer her texts, you didn't answer her calls. Every vibration of your phone was a reminder of how much it hurt, and it was easier to ignore it than to accept the reality.

The reality was that you had absolutely no idea what to do now. All that love you felt for her was unrequited, and now that you had accepted it, you couldn't look at her without feeling your heart shattering even more. You couldn't pretend nothing happened and be her best friend again, let alone have sex with her again. That would only feel like rubbing salt in the wound.

So ignoring her was your simplest solution, even though you knew it wouldn't work for long. She would soon realize that you were completely avoiding her, and you knew that once she got fed up, she'd take real action. She could not be indifferent, she was always direct, blunt, and would not stand still in the face of your silence. You just wanted to delay that moment as long as possible.

But it was like ignoring the elephant in the room. Like not acknowledging a storm that you knew was about to shake the foundations of your world. You didn't know exactly when. But you knew it would happen at any moment.

It was almost two in the morning and you were lying in your bed staring at the ceiling. Your mind was a mess, as it had been all that goddamn week. You couldn't stop thinking about her, and all the words you couldn't say to her piled up in your chest like an unbearable weight.

As if you had called out to her telepathically, a knock on your door resounded like thunder. You knew it was her. No one else would come unannounced, especially at this hour.

You hesitated for a second, but your feet already carried you to the entrance of your apartment. It seemed like it was impossible for you not to answer that knock. When you opened the door, there was Ellie, her hair disheveled, her eyes dark, her lips pressed into a thin line. She had that unmistakable thing about her, that mix of determination and vulnerability that always made your throat tighten.

"Why are you ignoring me?" she asked suddenly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I don't know what you're talking about" you replied, trying to keep your composure and lie as best as you could, but your voice cracked. You turned around and left the door open, not inviting her in. She entered your place anyway, of course, loudly closing the door behind her.

"I don't understand what did I do to you" she said, and her tone wasn't one of accusation, but of genuine confusion "I texted you like a million times and called you a hundred more. You never ignored me like this since we've known each other. Come on _____, a whole week? stop beating around the bush and tell me what the fuck is your problem"

"You want me to tell you? Fine, I'll tell you" You turned to face her, pent-up anger rising like a torrent "I saw you. At the party. Leaving with her".

Her eyebrows furrowed, but something in her realized something. For a moment you thought she was going to deny it, but instead she let out a heavy sigh.

"Why do you care so much?" she asked suddenly, but her tone wasn't cold or accusatory. There was a strong uncertainty behind it.

"Why do you care? You wouldn't understand it anyways, Ellie." you said, avoiding her and looking down at the ground. You didn't have the courage, you didn't have the strength to tell her how you felt. You had this feeling in your chest that knew you could ruin everything if you did, that you would lose everything in a second because she wouldn't reciprocate you. "It's obvious that this was just a game for you".

"Why do I care? I care a lot more than you think" she raised her tone, beginning to despair at the situation. "And it was never 'just a game' for me, but I thought we agreed that we weren't exclusive".

"Believe me, i fucking know about that arrangement." you spat, your anger completely overtaking you, your tone rising to the same pitch as hers. "Do you even care about me at all?".

"What do you mean I don't care about you?" Her voice broke and she looked at you confusedly before she continued "I thought you were ok with-".

"I was!" you shouted, interrupting her before she could finish the sentence, unable to hold back the anger running through your veins "But that was before I saw how you were going to hook up with her!".

"She didn’t mean anything!" she replied again, her tone much higher now, impatience flooding her voice and expression "Now answer me, why do you care so much?!"

It was if the ground had been ripped out from under your feet, leaving you suspended in a void that squeezed your chest. The pain inside you was so strong that your words shot out before you could even think of them, running over each other, overflowing like a force you could no longer restrain.

And you screamed it out, your voice cracking under the pressure of a truth that had consumed you in silence until you could no longer hold it in the shadows.

"Because I fell in love with you! Is that answer enough for you?! I'm so in love with you that it's fucking killing me!"

You stood still, unable to believe that your heart acted faster than your brain, and still unable to believe what you had just confessed. You felt the weight on your chest lighten, but it became an even bigger one, the weight of rejection.

The silence that followed was deafening. Ellie’'s eyes grew wide. She just watched you, as if trying to understand something she hadn't expected to hear.

"You.... love me?" she whispered, almost as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing, letting the words slip out carefully, as if they were so fragile they might break.

"For a long time...but after seeing you with her, I realized it was much deeper than I thought...." you said, your eyes still on the ground, a knot forming in your throat, and the fear that your now watery eyes would betray you. The fear that rejection was all that would be left was eating you from the inside out. ".... And I know you don't feel the same way, so if you want to end it all here, I'll accept it."

Ellie closed her eyes for a moment, as if trying to gather strength. When she opened them, something changed in her gaze.

"You really think I don't feel the same?" she said, her voice shaking but charged with something that made you stop breathing. She took a step toward you, cupping your face with both hands to lift your face, her touch warm and familiar, but different now, as if she was breaking down an invisible wall.

There was urgency in her eyes, a trace of something that made the rest of the world fade away, the distance between you shrinking until it disappeared. You slowly looked up to meet her bright green eyes, filled with a light you had never seen before.

"I got scared" she went on, her voice barely a whisper "What I feel for you is so.... big, i didn't know how to handle it. I thought being with someone else would help me forget it, but it didn't work. I can't stop thinking about you. I can't be away from you, even if it scares me"

You stood there transfixed, caught in those dark eyes that now burned as intensely as a fire. And then, before you could even process it, her lips found yours. The kiss was anything but tender; it was an explosion of pent-up emotions, of frustration and desire, of all the words that had never been spoken. It was burning with that same fire, now burning brighter than it ever did before.

"I hate you so much" you murmured against her lips, though you both knew that was a lie.

She smiled slightly, her fingers tracing a path from your waist to your lower back.

"Liar." she whispered, her voice hoarse.

She pushed you gently against the wall, her body pressed against yours, and everything else faded away. The world stopped spinning outside that moment, outside of her hands exploring your skin as if trying to memorize it, her lips seeking yours with an urgency that made you shudder.

Her lips trailed down your jaw to your neck, leaving a trail of fire that made you arch your back. Your hands sank into her hair, tugging lightly and drawing a sigh from her that made you shiver.

"Ellie... " you whispered her name as if it was a prayer, as if it could somehow explain everything you felt. She lifted her head to look at you, her breathing as erratic as yours.

"I don't want this to be just words" she murmured, her voice trembling but steady at the same time. Her breath brushed against your skin and something inside you snapped again, but this time it was not pain. It was pure desire.

"Then make them more" you replied without thinking, looking at her with an urgency you didn't know you felt until now.

And that was all it took. In one fluid movement, she carried you to the room, opening the door and entering the place dimly lit by the hanging lights that adorned the ceiling. Upon reaching the corner of the bed, she gently pushed you against the mattress and pounced on you like a hungry woman.

Her body was so close to yours that you could feel the heat emanating from it. Her lips found yours again, but this time, there was no hesitation, only need. It was a kiss that demanded everything, that made you forget the days of silence, the insecurities, and all the pain.

Her hands slowly moved down your arms, leaving a burning trail in their wake, until they reached your waist. You stood up slightly as if you didn't want there to be even a space between you. The softness of her lips were different from the strength of her grip, and that contrast made you lose yourself completely.

"You have no idea how much I missed you" she murmured against your neck, leaving a trail of kisses that made you shudder. Her voice was deep, laden with something you had never heard before.

"And you have no idea how much it hurt to see you with her" you answered, almost breathless, but your words had no accusation, only honesty.

She stopped for a second, resting her forehead against yours, and with that gaze, she transmitted something that made you feel both vulnerable and safe.

"I never wanted to hurt you. You are the only thing I want. You are the only person I want to be with." she murmured against your lips, and that confession was enough to undo any barrier that remained between you.

The distance between your bodies disappeared completely. Her hands explored your skin with a mixture of tenderness and desperation, as if she tried to memorize every inch of you. Each touch was a reminder of what you had been denying for so long.

Her lips sucked and her teeth sank into the delicate skin from your neck all the way to your collarbone. As she pulled back slightly to admire her handiwork, she felt a savage satisfaction knowing that you would be wearing those marks for the next five to seven business days, at least.

Ellie lets out a soft gasp, pulling her shirt from her back with one hand and tossing it somewhere behind her. You let out a sigh at the sight of her bare torso, and your hands went straight to tug on her hair, pulling her closer to you.

Your eyes watch her as she pushes up the hem of your shirt, letting out a deep breath as she finally manages to discard the garment, murmuring a curse. You were wearing only a huge nightshirt that reached mid-thigh, leaving you without any other clothing.

"You’re perfect" she says in a husky, lustful tone as her dilated pupils land on your breasts, and you can see in the corner of your eye how she licks her lips. Your hands go to her sweats, and as you pull them down, you can hear her kick off her shoes and help you take them off, kicking them back the moment they hit the floor.

The air in the room thickened with an intoxicating warmth as each kiss and gentle caress talked the unspoken words that had lingered between you for far too long. The soft brush of skin against skin ignited a searing heat that enveloped you both, almost overwhelming.

The intimacy deepened as your whispered breath carried her name. She met your gaze with a tender smile, then leaned in closer, her lips finding yours again with a fervor that sent shivers down your spine. It was a kiss filled with urgency, as if she wanted to make sure you understood that this wasn't just another moment for her.

You broke away from the kiss, and you feel her smooth fingers against your lips. Your mouth opens as easily as she remembers, and she has to swallow another thick moan as you suck her fingers into your mouth. Your tongue swirls around them to taste her intoxicating skin, and the sensation runs through her like an electric current.

“God... fuck…” she murmurs lightly in a moan, pulling her fingers out of your mouth as she adjusts you so you’re straddling one of her thighs, your own thigh pressing between her legs to rub deliciously against her sensitive, aching pussy.

She hisses lightly as your hips roll down her leg, your head lolling back. Picking up a slow rhythm, you grind against her, your wetness spreading along her skin as you let out moans every time you rock your hips back and forth.

Ellie’s mind begins to become a blur at the sight of you, your nipples hard from the cool air of the room. She leans down and opens her mouth slowly to close it on your nipple, teasing her teeth over the sensitive flesh, and smirking at the way it makes the rhythm of your hips falter. Your fingers pull harder at her hair and you let out an almost pornographic moan, her other hand sliding up to knead your other breast. She can't help the little jerks of her own hips against your thigh as well, her underwear now soaked.

"Els- Els..." you gasp her name, and the sound goes straight to her pussy like an electric current.

"Tell me... tell me what you want..." She moans as you move and your thigh presses harder against her, her mouth half open.

"Your fingers...please....." You whisper in her ear haltingly, and she feels like she could have a heart attack at any moment. Something in her brain chemistry changes every time she's next to you, and she swears that the effect you have on her should be studied by scientists.

"Shit… you're gonna be the death of me” she murmurs after swallowing heavily, adjusting herself back as you lift your hips. She pauses when she feels you grab the elastic of her boxers. A small laugh escapes her chest at your anxious gaze and your shaky hands.

"Out." you say, almost petulantly, as Ellie moves her own hips so that she can slide her legs, kicking them to the side.

"Happy now? "

"Yeah, much better" you smile, sinking back into her thigh, as your arms wrapping around her shoulders. She moves her right hand to your soaked part, teasing two fingers around your entrance.

Her eyes lock onto yours, a silent plea for your permission, and you nod eagerly, anticipation going through you like electricity. She pushes a finger past your soaked folds and immediately feels you enveloping her, the pressure making her own cunt clench. Ellie hisses, moving her hips against your leg.

“God, just like that…” you gasp, raising your hips to lower them again, your nails digging into the skin of her back.

“Want more?” She asks, as you go up and down a couple more times. You nod, just as fervently as the first time, if not more so.

“Atta girl” She whispers low as she sinks another finger into you and rejoices in the way you moan, how loud and strong it sounds coming from the back of your throat. Your eyes roll back as you begin to ride her fingers, your hair falling messily around your shoulders. She reaches up her free hand to take a handful of it in her palm, pulling it back to give her more access to your neck and leaning forward to suck another dark hickey over the skin where your pulse is.

Ellie’s head spins, going delirious with desire as she pushes a third finger into you, watching as your mouth opens in a silent moan and your entire body shudders around her. You’re so wet, so tight, that the building arousal between her legs is beginning to reach a climax, as she moves shamelessly against your thigh still between her legs.

The scene seems straight out of a movie, those kids aren’t allowed to watch. Your mind can't formulate a single coherent thought. All that exists now is Ellie: her fingers, her scent, her ecstatic face, her half-open mouth, and the enormous satisfaction that consumes you. The air in the room is thick and dense, almost as if it could be cut with a knife.

You both feel like you always do when you are in these moments; as if you are the only two people that exist in the world. No one and nothing else matters; nothing else makes sense except the immeasurable pleasure that threatens to tear you apart with the intensity of a natural disaster.

That same fire that always existed now burns with the power of a forest fire that sought to destroy everything in its path, including the two of you in that destruction.

And you swear this is what heaven must feel like.

"God fuck! Yes! Ellie!" you scream, nothing else matters anymore. You move up and down so hard and fast that Ellie has to take a second to admire how strong your legs are. She thanks the gods for having someone like you in that instant, before her thoughts become tangled in a sizzling mess when you slide your hand into the space between her legs and yours, your fingers pressing messily between her folds.

"Can I? I wanna make you feel good too… "

Ellie nearly has that heart attack she thought of earlier, nodding fervently and spreading her legs to give you more access, feeling you slide two fingers inside her without warning.

“______! Shit! " she curses your name as you curl your fingers up and stars blur her vision. She moans as you pump your fingers into the knot of nerves inside her, her own fingers soaked as you fuck yourself on them.

It’s all becoming too much, and before she knows it, the tension in her lower stomach snaps like a thread. Her core throbs around your fingers as her orgasm shakes through her, white bursts of pleasure flashing through her eyes.

“Mm - Holy shit _____....,” she gulps, blinking as your silhouette comes back into focus in her vision, the buzzing inside her head still echoes from the aftermath of her orgasm. She vaguely notices you smiling at her for a second before you lean into her to give her a sweet kiss.

Ellie moans into the kiss, her breathing evens slightly as you pull your fingers out. When you pull back to slide them into your mouth, she feels like she’s going to cum again just from watching that. You look up at her with blown pupils and heavy eyelids, your tongue sliding around your fingers, tasting the taste of her climax, intense and unmistakable. A taste you could never get tired of; a taste that screams “Ellie”.

“Jesus…Christ....” Ellie gasps, and somewhere in her head, there’s a small voice screaming “holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit, how did I get so lucky?” over and over again until it becomes the impulse that makes her lean up, pushing you down and letting your back fall onto the bed with a smug, indulgent smile.

“Mmm... come closer, beautiful.” She makes her way down your body, trailing kisses down your chest and pausing to circle her tongue around your nipples only for you to arch closer to her. She drops a few lingering kisses down the line of your stomach, before blowing a little air over your throbbing clit, her fingers parting the folds of your soaked centre.

She swallows dryly, moaning to herself, as you feel your body jerk and tremble at the feel of her hot breath on your most sensitive part, impatient and eager from so much arousal.

“You've got the prettiest fucking pussy” she murmurs as you let out a soft whimper, your fingers sinking into her hair. "I’ve been dreamin' bout this for weeks"

She looks up at you and marvels at the sight of your body, naked above the mess of sheets, as beautiful as a work of art. A work of art meant for her eyes only.

She squirms with desire and finally drops her mouth to you, licking a long stripe along your entrance, her eyes nearly rolling back at the taste of you soaking her tongue.

“A-ah! Ellie!” you cry out as your head falls completely back, making a thud sound against the pillow. Your fingers pull her hair even tighter, and your thighs clench at the sides of her face. You both swear this is the hottest moment you’ve ever experienced.

Not long after that, she gives a few hard sucks on your clit, pushes three fingers inside you and just like that you’re falling apart beneath her. Your thighs shake as you moan, shudder and gasp through your orgasm.

If you felt like you were in heaven before, now you were experiencing the presence of God himself. The knot in your lower stomach unties and breaks in a crash that shatters you, leaving you breathless, white flashing through your eyes and a broken, desperate cry escapes from your mouth.

Ellie talks you through it, pulling away from your centre to press a kiss to your shoulder, your breaths beginning to even out and your vision finally coming into focus.

“Hey there, princess,” he smiles.

You’re still breathless, but you pull her down for another long kiss, tracing her jaw with your thumb.

“Wow..... just.... wow" you murmured, breaking away from the kiss and looking at her with a flushed face.

Ellie laughs, throwing herself like a dead weight next to you, staring at the ceiling, getting a little lost in tought. The warmth of your old hanging lights illuminate everything with a soft, diffuse glow. She feels you turn to look at her, your cheek resting on your arm. She turns to mirror your position, reaching out a hand to caress your cheek. After a few minutes of silence, she finally speaks.

"Maybe it'll sound kinda rushed but I.... love you. I love you, _____ " she whispers, her voice like a caress that slides gently through the air before her lips kiss your forehead, an action that seems to stop time. You feel like your insides melting, as if every part of you finds refuge in that moment.

"I don't wanna hide what I feel anymore" she continues, with that same tenderness capable of breaking all your barriers. "From now on, I want everything between us to be sincere, only truth."

Your arms wrap around her chest, trying to bring her closer, until there is no space between you. Curve by curve, skin on skin, her warmth envelops you, and an indescribable tenderness blossoms between the two of you. In her embrace, you feel like you found your place in the world, a corner where everything makes sense.

"I love you too, Ellie... more than you could ever imagine" you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper, sweet and full of contained emotion.

The silence that now falls is not awkward, but a silence in which both of you take the chance to admire each other. For eternal minutes her eyes trace every detail of your face, and yours do the same, as if she wanted to memorize every line, every shadow. A smile, shy and full of love, curves on her lips, reflected by yours. In that moment, everything is perfect, there are no more masks or fears, only the love you found in each other.

"So... does that mean we are... dating now?" you murmured, the doubt evident in your words, although your heart screamed the answer you wanted to hear. You needed her to say it, you needed her to confirm it.

Ellie stared at you. And she continued to stare at you with that green eyed gaze of hers that makes you forget how to breathe. The pause was brief, but it felt endless. She suddenly let herself fall back with an over-the-top groan that could only belong in a cheesy soap opera.

"Are you for real right now?" she exclaimed, bringing a hand to her chest in an offended manner. "Are you really hitting me with the “what are we” question after all that drama?! I showed up at your place, we fought, made up, I bared my soul and told you that I love you, we had a movie-worthy confession, i mean, we even fucke- "

"ELLIE WILLIAMS! I get it!” you yelled, crawling forward to push her before she could finish that dangerous sentence. You managed to quickly get her to lie down completely while you positioned yourself over her, your hands holding her wrists. You were blushing up to your ears in embarrassment, but you couldn’t help but laugh a little at her drama.

Ellie arched an eyebrow, an “Are you seriously doing this to me?” expression etched on her face, even as you tried to hold on to your dignity.

“It’s just that…”

“It’s just that… what?” she asked with a hint of amusement, through her eyes sparkled with tenderness.

“It’s just that neither of us have asked it properly…and-”

“Shhh…” She cut you off gently, as if she had completely forgotten her moment of theatrics, and with a certainty that made you nervous.

You froze. Your hands instinctively let go of her wrists as she sat up, making you fall onto her lap with almost insulting ease. Her hands settled on your waist, holding you tenderly. Her eyes met yours, and a mischievous smile appeared on her lips.

"______, love of my life, light of my eyes, owner of my heart" she began to speak with an slightly mocking and sarcastic tone, but after a few seconds of suspense, she said what you had longed to hear for so long.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

And the question floated in the air like a feather. Her warm and now not at all mocking tone made your heart explode. You felt the air completely leave your lungs, because in her gaze there was nothing but sincere love. A smile spread across your lips, so pure and sweet that Ellie narrowed her eyes as if it was too bright to handle.

"I swear that smile of yours is gonna give me cavities..."

But you didn't give her time to say anything else. You leaned towards her, capturing her lips in a kiss that answered her question more than all the words in the world. When you finally broke the kiss, gasping softly against her lips, your hands tangled in her hair.

“Yes, yes… I’ll be your girlfriend.”

Ellie held you tightly, whispering in your ear, her voice so soft it almost knocked you over.

“You know, I never thought I’d find something so beautiful in this world,

but then you came along.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

In that instant, as you both smiled with wild, imperfect love, both hearts beating in unison, something was revealed deep within you.

It didn't matter that the fire had consumed both of you to the bone, or that your souls melted in the flames of desire, because in the end, the ashes, although fragile and crumbling, will always be worth it.

Those that remain, golden and full of life, are those that speak of what it was, of what was true, of what cannot be extinguished. Love, though it can devastate, also gifts us something pure amid the ruins. And that, being its crudest form, is the most beautiful form.

It doesn't matter that the fire burned you completely.

The ashes will always be worth it.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

DAMN THAT WAS INTENSE! sorry for the end lmao i got a lil Shakespeare complex

Hope yall enjoyed and I'm SUPER grateful for every repost, like or share you wanna give!!! :D

(sorry again if there's any spelling or writing mistakes)

#lesbian #lesbian pride #lgbtq #ellie williams imagine #lesbian shot #ellie williams smut #ellie williams #ellie williams x you #ellie the last of us #ellie x reader #ellie tlou #the last of us 2 #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams tlou #shappic #wlw smut #wlw ns/fw

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vague-humanoid · 14 days ago

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The real question is whether the Democratic Party even sees the working class as a group it wants to make substantive policy for. Schumer gave us a revealing clue in 2016: “For every blue-collar Democrat we lose in western Pennsylvania, we will pick up two moderate Republicans in the suburbs in Philadelphia, and you can repeat that in Ohio and Illinois and Wisconsin.”

This strategy has now failed twice. In 2024, the same failed strategy from 2016 was chosen over the successful strategy of the 2020 campaign. Liberal pundit Jennifer Rubin best summed up the Democratic establishment’s attitude toward winning: “[Kamala Harris] ran as a center-left candidate, and that worked,” Rubin said. “She established herself in exactly the right place in the political universe.”

Winning doesn’t appear to be the Democratic Party’s primary goal — winning without the working class does.

#u.s. politics

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amaditalks · 3 months ago

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Harris could have chosen to win but she simply chose to lose. It's not hard to beat Trump, it's comically easy, actually. You can convince yourself that it wasn't her choice to lose, but the fact of the matter is that she deliberately lost voters in key swing states. Trump's vote amounts remained mostly the same. Harris lost 10-15 million votes from Biden. Black women voted for her in less amounts than they did Biden or Hillary.

Had she not done genocide, she would've won. No matter how much you try and convince yourself otherwise. Now you have Trump. Accept your choices. Live with them. Because the consequences will remain. This is how it's going to be for the forseeable future because democrats chose to make it this way. You can learn from this or just give up and die i guess.

So people know, this person is following me out of the comments on another post where they have repeatedly asserted that Kamala Harris lost because she “did genocide.“ Apparently, this person believes that Kamala Harris is simultaneously the US vice president and the Prime Minister of Israel — amongst other things that they are deeply confused about.

But let’s be really very clear. It is not easy to beat Donald Trump. Hillary Clinton got more votes than Donald Trump and still did not beat Donald Trump. The only reason Joe Biden beat Donald Trump in 2020 is because of how badly Trump mishandled Covid. Had Biden not entered the 2020 race and the Democratic nominee had ended up being another woman, Trump would have won in 2020.

The voters who mobilized to create the Biden victory were the sometimes voters. The mushy middle that doesn’t pay attention to much until it’s as big as a recession or a global pandemic, and votes or stays at home based on their personal satisfaction with their own lives, not based on issues.

Those voters came out to vote for Biden because they were personally dissatisfied with the course of the pandemic. Those voters either stayed home this year or voted for Trump because they were personally dissatisfied with their finances, which they mistakenly believe is the same thing as “the economy.”

Also, as explained to you in those comments, only 4% of voters said that the situation Israel and Palestine factored into their vote. The overwhelming issue that motivated people was “the economy“ for whatever they understand that to be.

Of that 4% who weighed the Israel-Palestine issue in their decision making, the majority voted for Harris.

You can repeat what is, at this point, an intentional lie about this issue being the reason for Kamala Harris’ loss until the day you literally depart this earth, but it will still be a lie that does not bear any resemblance to the actual facts around this election.

If at some point you wish to get in touch with honesty and integrity, that will be a positive change in your life and the lives of everyone who has the misfortune of encountering you.

#us politics #us elections #dipshits in my ask box doing dipshit things

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linuseer · 9 months ago

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i'd made a reblog of another post but i might as well make my own because it's truly bizarre the way the internet still behaves

the internet's reaction to john mulaney will be found in psychology books in future years.

this got long. my bad.

tldr: yall have been weird about john mulaney for a long while. yes, even about the dave chappelle thing.

"but he let dave chappelle on stage-" the venue let dave chappelle on stage. Because despite all the bullshit he's been saying venues and platforms still think he's a big name, so if he decides to pop up and drop in, they're going to let him regardless of openers already being there. It's insane how people think john mulaney could dictate what a big venue (and netflix, as i think it was during an event) can and can't do around him.

"but dave chappelle based all his set on transphobic and ableist things-" that's on dave chappelle, not any other comedian who has to share the stage with him. let's repeat this again: john mulaney did not "platform" chappelle, the venue did. john mulaney can't go around dictating what other comedians say the same way other comedians can't dictate what he says, just like it is in any other profession and general aspect of society.

"but he hugged chappelle at the end-" chappelle had talked about an aggression he'd been a victim of in the previous months and john mulaney expressed solidarity for that. Like the testimony of the transphobic and ableist jokes, this was said by other people on the internet that claim to have been present. It's impressive how fast any other recounting has been shut down and ignored, like any possibility of further critical analysis of the situation. I'm not cis myself. I could smell the "something's weirdly missing" from miles away, because when he went to rehab I thought back about all his jokes involving drugs and thought "yeah this checks out", when people started calling him transphobic i thought "this guy?? Horse Loose In A Hospital guy?? I gotta check".

(other testimonies also said the transphobic and ableist jokes were a part of the appearance, not all of it, and that other jokes did get a laugh. Which yes, it is annoying to hear people reward a comedian with laughter after he's been a dick and I would've been mad the whole time too)

"well he shouldn't go around hugging transphobes" on an abstract moral basis, I agree. I'd rather he stick to hugging people like jon stewart.

"he betrayed his lgbt+ fanbase that is the reason he's famous" no it isn't. I find no righteous joy in telling yall that john mulaney is known and respected and gets gigs in the comedy scene because he's good at it on his own from content and technique standpoints, and people recognized his talent and future fame from the start, not because the community made him famous by latching on to him as the Cute Unproblematic White Twink. Him becoming famous would've happened anyway because he's objectively good at his chosen career. Also "betrayed" is objectively wrong because of the previous points mentioned above.

Also let's remember the time period this happened in: john mulaney was recovering from nearly killing himself with drugs, dealing with the fact his friends had to push him into rehab, ending a years-long relationship (where he did not cheat according to the ex herself if yall bother listening to her), finding himself a parent of a clearly unplanned baby and stepping up to it, while facing vitriol and crazy backlash because of it all. I wouldn't take anyone too seriously in the aftermath of this.

yeah while we're here, let's also address the whole divorce fiasco:

"he cheated" no he didn't. The timeline provided and that can be proven by social media interactions and talk show appearances says so. They were separated well before they both went to rehab for different things. She wasn't at the december 2020 intervention, at least. She removed hims from her socials months before. They weren't involved anymore, let it go.

"he never wanted kids" so? people change as he himself says. Or was he meant to be a deadbeat and ignore the baby that was clearly unplanned? It's insane how people are holding this against him.

"he robbed tendler of her childbearing years" this is even more insane. She has repeatedly said she didn't want kids herself, and froze her eggs because of feeling socially pressured, at least twice in instagram comments only. She's got a new boyfriend and can have all the kids she wants with him. But people don't actually care about her as a person, only as her being a means for their weird revenge fantasies against a comedian they thought they knew through a stage persona. Just take a look at the unhinged comments people have been leaving under everyone's social media posts including hers.

"he based his whole shtick on being a wife guy (so i now feel betrayed that they have divorced because ??? but pretend i'm righteously offended as He Has Lied On Stage)" equally insane things to say. Also no, the wife bits make up not even a fourth of his overall material, but one wouldn't know that if they only saw his stuff through memes and the netflix specials.

"well i'm childfree and liked he was also childfree and now i'm disappointed" now this is reasonable. I was weirdly disappointed for a while too and then got over it. Because it's one of the things in life you have to shrug off, because other people can choose to keep children and raise them with an obviously present support net and it's none of our business.

Here's some more things for yall to chew on: john mulaney has expressed support for trans kids being targeted in schools, during the initial monologue when he hosted the Independent Spirit Awards with nick kroll (they did it two years in a row and i can't remember which year it was). john mulaney has also previously supported lgbt+ charities with donations some years ago (i don't remember the name but i remember being happy about confirmation that a comedian i liked was a good person). john mulaney hasn't said or done anything negative towards trans people and lgbt+ in general since the "incident", nor did he ever before. Also he striked with the other writers to support the less famous and wealthy ones.

"but he had jerry seinfield on." Netflix had jerry seinfield on. Because seinfield just made a show with netflix too and he's being made to promote it. Also yes, by several accounts john mulaney looks up to jerry seinfield, in the same way i might look up at a senior in high school when I'm a freshman. Doesn't mean he agrees with him on everything and doesn't mean they both can skirt the obligations of the industry they're in.

Yall want something nice to chew on? When john mulaney went on seinfield's show "comedians in cars getting coffee", seinfield demeaned annamarie tendler's professional abilities and john mulaney immediately and repeatedly contradicted him. "She doesn't know what she's talking about, all women think they're interior designers" vs "Actually she does know what she's talking about" kinda exchange. Seinfield also made a joke about her throwing a rolling pin at john, and john mulaney deemed it a dumb 1950s stereotype.

look, is he perfect? no. he has moments where he lacks some social awareness, because he was born and raised wealthy, but he's never been cruel or obnoxious about it and instead recognizes it every time he mentions (and disparages) his upbringing. it could be seen even before baby j that he grew up insecure of himself, through and under the obvious jokes about anxiety and servility, and he can be an asshole about it (though less now, i suppose thanks to near-death experiences and having a child readjust your whole life). it's the fact that the internet decided to put him on a pedestal as a paragon of neat cuteness, reducing his work to Wife Guy Blorbo and seemingly ignoring all the "hey i've been an alcohol and drug addict willing to commit crimes to get drugs and i'm putting up an extremely clean-cut persona that should have you all worried and suspicious". I used to look at that guy and sense the something that wasn't adding up. I've been observing this whole mess since he first went to rehab with a sense of relief. Parasocial of me, yes I know.

one day the internet will add up the pieces. hopefully. until that day, it's gonna be weird.

#john mulaney #i also find dave chappelle annoying but i also kinda pity him? he's going through something #watched a clip from an older special of his and it was awesome then watched a newer clip and i'm like man what the hell is happening to you

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raisedonradio · 14 days ago

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2024 Writer Year-In-Review

Hi, I’m RaisedonRadio & FortressofmyPast on AO3 and FF.net. This is an on-going tradition since 2015. Check out my past year-end posts: 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015.

Tagging a few people, and if you come across my little post and want to do your own year in review, feel free to tag me!

@writercorianarose @shesailsships @talesofsorrowandofruin

Total Word Counts: 18,968 in published fanfics 16,540 Camp Nano April 7,909 Nanowrimo

Total Number Of Completed Works: 5 Total Number of WIPS worked on this year: 8, I think How Many WIPs do you still have: 23 (wait…that’s the same as last year…such a classic example of the plot bunnies multiplying as fast one can write them)

Looking back, did you write more than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? Less. I started off with a bang, and fizzled out. And I didn’t finish Nanowrimo, I just didn’t have the drive for it with all stuff happening with them this year. (I should have chosen a new tracking system ahead of time!)

Did you take any writing risks this year? I’d say no, I played it really safe. But I did write a couple of fanfics for a series when it wasn’t finished yet. I normally would wait so my fics can be overly canon-compliant, which is something I have really loosened up on in the past few years.

Biggest Surprise: The huge reception I got from the My Demon and Sweet Home fics. Wow! I was almost spoiled by the outpouring of kudos!

Biggest Disappointment: Definitely wish I had kept writing consistently.

Do you have any writing goals for the new year? Be more consistent in writing. Even if I can’t manage daily, maybe even weekly, instead of dropping everything for months.

Fanfiction Questions! (if you don’t write fanfiction feel free to skip or rework the questions for your original works.)

Fandoms I’ve written in this year: They were all Kdramas: My Demon, Destined With You, Sweet Home, Sound of Magic

Your most popular story of the year? That would be “I Burn For You”, with 328 kudos, 14 comments, and 6,958 hits. I was floored by the turnout it received.

The story that was easiest/or most fun to write: If I go by the amount of drafts I have, it was “Alone”, with three.

Hardest story to write: There were seven drafts for “Long Story Short”. ^^;;

Your sweetest story: “Safe And Sound” came out kinda of sickly-sweet. XD

Your saddest scene: I don’t think I wrote anything too sad this year, just a little angst in “Long Story Short” and “Alone”.

The sexiest moment you’ve written this year? 4 out of my 5 fanfics were, once again, E rated. I apologize to any readers who miss my T rated fics. XD

Your favorite tag: (whether you use it the most or just something witty/perfect for the story) I finally used a ‘wrote this instead of sleeping’ variation (it was me editing at 2 in the morning)

Most unintentionally telling story: (have you accidentally or purposefully exposed a detail about yourself?) Surprisingly nothing comes to mind this year! (But I’m sure there are bits and pieces of me throughout)

Are any of your fics named after/heavily inspired by music? All of them were named after songs or lyrics, yet again. I wouldn’t be RaisedonRadio if I came up with original titles -_-;; And since one of the fics was from a musical, I included a little playlist of the songs I had on repeat when writing it. :D

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Hmm, that’s tough, I was pretty pleased with most of them this year…but I’ll go with “I Burn For You”.

My favorite part of fandom this year: I love writing for active fandoms, and yet I also love writing for super quiet fandoms. I did both this year!

#writer year in review #fic in review #raisedonradio #radiowrites #fortressofmypast #my demon #destined with you #sweet home #sound of magic #fanfiction

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yankaze · 6 months ago

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KH OC week 2024 - Day 2: Past What was your character creation process like?

this one will be morally difficult for me 😭😭

I didn't find much old art to show, but I think these ones will say a lot.

Hajime as a character has existed since 2016. In March 2016 (I was 13 uuum 13 ehem) I learned about KH and somewhere around the same time I came up with this, at that time - eh, I don't know- at least unoriginal character who was literally a goth Roxas (I didn't knew about the existence of AUs idk, and Roxas is already ''emo boy'', but 2007 was almost here idkkk, we can joke about it for a very long time actually, but the fact remains a fact).

His name changed many times and there was no special meaning behind them (Sea, Syon), I just liked the way they sounded. I can answer the question why I named him ''Hajime'' right now. Internet says: ''Hajime (Japanese: はじめ) is a Japanese name meaning "beginning" (初め, 始め)''. I liked the way it sounded and its meaning and it gave me a hint where to move the character's story now.

+ in the Hajime's story he chooses this name for himself, because obviously no one gave name to him, but he needed a word to talk about himself and (i'm not sure about that) in the book he finds this name and I can say that it was chosen by him randomly.

He had a terrible written story on the basis of some other AU (???) and without сorvalol I can’t read it, even though it’s stored somewhere in my old dms from those years, I still don’t want to show it 😭

Around 2017 and up until 2019, I tried to make... something... out of him. It feels more like I just periodically returned to KH in a fit of baseless nostalgia and I really wanted to shove a “piece of myself” into this universe (which was already tired of me lmao).

2019 reminded me about KH in the form of KH III release and... this character again (+ my friend's kh oc- Jun).

I think that for a long time I didn't wanted to fundamentally change his concept (which was literally just that he exists and somehow travels around the worlds) because I was emotionally attached to this character. In essence, he was not just a character for me, but also memories that were triggered by each repeated hyperfixation on this universe.

It seems to me that the most obvious indicator of how I jumped back and forth into the KH universe is noticeable by the fact that it gave me the opportunity to look at one of my redraw series with this character through the years.

From 2020 to 2023 there was a long lull with this character.

2023 has been jUiCy in rethinking from the start because the long break gave me the opportunity to finally stop give in to nostalgia (or at least less) and loosen my emotional attachments to unworkable concepts. Therefore, this character now has the opportunity to finally become something better than a copy of another character.

However, this epic attempt was quickly abandoned as soon as the hyperfix ended.

We've reached the present time (mid-2024).

I slammed my fist on the table and decided to finally play through ALL the Kingdom Hearts games (that was therapy for my soul) and finally my understanding of KH universe became kinda complete (I still don't understand everything, the plot is very complex u'know). From what I began to understand, I decided to give this character another chance and close this damned gestalt.

This story is still ongoing, but I told in general details everything that happened to this character all these 8 years. This actually shows not only how the character changed, but also how I changed as an artist. Even my ''psychological problems'' can be seen through this story, and what amazes me the most is how over the years, using Hajime as an example, my drawing skills improved.

At such moments, you understand that you are not standing still and thoughts about "I have no progress in my art" no longer arise.

@khoc-week

#my texts #yankaze #khocweek #khocweek2024 #kingdom hearts #oc #fc #fan character #original character #khoc #kh hajime #my oc #unversed #my art #my old art

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11queensupreme11 · 3 months ago

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Imma gonna keep this simple:

I 110% agree with everything u said.

U didn’t miss even ONE box because I’ve been saying this all day and all I can say is that I am so deeply disappointed that this is our reality.

I had hoped that we learned from 2016.

We didn’t.

I had hoped we were done with this in 2020.

We weren’t.

And now it seems like we’ll never be free of this until, hopefully, the new generations are old enough to make up the majority.

All I do know is this.

This path that this country is walking.

This path that its chosen will never lead to anywhere good.

And if ANYONE needs an example of how bad it can get, all they need to do is look at the history of this country and others like it to see what the future holds in store when u repeat it.

Thank you for saying what you said.

It meant something to me to know that me and other Americans are not alone in this. 💖

seeing this gives me some hope, but the fact that trump is absolutely going to target the department of education concerns me cuz despite the votes, there ARE many gen z-ers who spout a lot of right-wing ideologies without realizing it.

gen z can be quite radicalized depending on the topic, even the well-meaning ones don't realize how far right they've gotten.

we are a very puritanical generation who values moral superiority and internet activism, and we're also not as educated and immune to propaganda and brainwashing as we like to think

we've got young men and boys regardless of race watching and listening to right-wing streamers and content creators like andrew tate, adin ross, etc. and being radicalized into becoming the most misogynistic pieces of shit ever

we've got girls and gays trying to be internet activist and thinking that they're sooo progressive when they're actually doing a 180 to right-wing puritanism without realizing it:

"dark media should be removed from libraries because girls might read it and endorse it because girls are STUPID",

"sex scenes give me the ick so we need to remove them all!!!",

"gay love stories should only go as far as hand-holding, none of that gross stuff because we're not DIRTY like those degenerates!"

"we need to remove all porn and degenerate stuff because it encourages girls to act like whores and men to treat women poorly!" (newsflash, misogyny existed long before porn did, so removing porn won't do shit, sorry guys)

^ it all sounds stupid and silly, but this sorta shit snowballs. they're yearning for the hayes code and they don't even know what the hayes code is 💀

(and again with the jill stein stuff too 💀 like i said, gen z likes to be morally superior and internet activists so some of them did vote jill stein thinking it'd help -- which only brings back to my point to how dumb and uneducated us americans truly are. i'm sure they were well-meaning, but this was not a smart move)

right now, gen z is mostly blue (we're in the 50s% which is lowkey concerning), but with these mindsets ALREADY in place and more men like andrew tate spouting up, AND trump ready to target education to dumb people down, i worry that the younger gen are going to be more vulnerable than ever

#��🏻| rambles

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taichi-x-koushiro · 3 months ago

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@taikouvember!

Prompt: Friendship; What is your favorite aspect{s} about their relationship/dynamic with Yamato?

{Though this specific AMV, as an A.U.; also implies a Bit of other Chosen on the side {if extremely briefly sans Yamato}, Polyships can also be read in for A.U. Potentials, including Koushiro x Yamato x Taichi [x Sora] as an OT4!!} [The A.U.s can also spinoff from various Adventure through to Dark Masters Arc; or during 02 onwards 'canon points'!!] Note: -This video’s embed may randomly not display at times, Showing like it’s “down”, but it’s not at this time! {It usually happens late at night[s] or seemingly when Tumblr is {seemingly} experiencing very high traffic} If that happens, please consider Checking back to watch at a later time! (If it seems permanently down, please leave a comment or tag to notify me!)

Digimon Adventures AMV ~ “Love-Lost Elegy” featuring Duo/Ship/O.T.P: Koushiro(u) Izumi x Taichi Yagami {KouTai}/{TaiKou}/{Taishiro[u]} + Supporting Charas: Izumi family (+Mrs Izumi), Yamato (acting as support for BOTH Taichi and Koushiro), Tentomon (for Koushiro support) & Adventure Chosen (on side) Music © : DECO*27 featuring Marina

{Yamachi fans can read-in YamaKouTai as Polyship if you’d like} However please remember the main intent was KouTai as my O.T.P., As long as that’s respected (including in tags), reading in YamaKouTai + Yamachi side shipping is ok! (I’m Flexible TM) {Yamachi was my first major Digimon Adventures M.L.M ship, OK} [I also really love YamaKou Supporting Each Other]

My Commentary:

“Taichi Yagami is a GOOD character and also good to his friends.” - Me

{See under the ‘read more’ for more info + Lyrics!}

Keep reading

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ginger-lime · 1 year ago

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Will Wood (and the Tapeworms) Songs as Ride the Cyclone Characters!

Recently decided to wade through Will Wood's discography more and I think some of the songs by the 30-something year old dude really embody them

How this half asleep rant will work:

[Character]: [Song(s)]

Explanation of why song is chosen

"Certain excerpts from the song I think embody the goober chosen"

Note: all songs wils be linked when they're written (mostly as youtube lyric videos), also this will probably be very long

Ocean O'Connell Rosenburg: The Main Character

Local ‘gifted kid’ teenager has yet to find out that the world doesn't revolve around her and stepping on anyone who doesn't fit in with her isn’t okay, more at 7

"I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene"

"I loot plot armor from NPC’s / Well, they are to me"

Noel Gruber: Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally

This song (in my opinion) is really the embodiment of Noel's character. attempting to fit in, being told to "tone it down" by his mother until eventually arriving in the afterlife and essentially going "fuck it, we ball" with Noel's Lament (and Vampire Culture in this allegory) until eventually arriving at a state of peace with Love Me, Normally/It's Just a Ride

"a snowflake only matters in a blizzard"

Mischa Bachinski: 6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro / Con & ¡Aikido! (Neurotic / Erotic)

6up 5oh with it's plot(?) of running from the police and proceeding to get mistreated by them is how Mischa is viewed by essentially everyone is Saskatchewan (and to an extent how he lets them see him). While ¡Aikido!, is more of his 'passion' side, specifically with Talia. The more aggressive reprise at the end of Aikido in the 2020 remaster also reminds me allot of the techno section of 'Talia'.

"It's never too late to embrace your fate"

"So we can touch instead of feel"

Ricky Potts: White Noise & Dr. Sunshine Is Dead

Imagine being so forgotten by everyone around you so the innocent bean stereotype is put on you automatically despite the fact that you’re real personality is far from that and then having a mini identity crisis over it

"You're not meant to sing along"

"I'm no one if I'm nowhere in between"

Jane Doe: Big Fat Bitchie’s Blueberry Pie, Christmas Tree, and Recreational Jell-o Emporium a.k.a. “Mr. Boy is on the Roof Again” (Feat. Pasta by Sneakers McSqueakers) [From “B.F.B.’s B-Sides: Bagel Batches, Marsh-Mallows, & Barsh-Mallows”]

No thoughts, story, or plot, just funky carnival music

Constance Blackwood: Falling Up

This song is essentially 'Sugar Cloud' but more melancholy. This is what I'd imagine a song about Constance's life before she died would be about, or Constance's Monologue in song form. What especially reminded me of her monologue was the rapid fire listing of objects and even the title 'Falling Up' being repeated in the song feeling like the roller coaster when it derailed. They're falling but being upside down it feels more like they're flying.

"You make a wish upon the dead, but turn and call it a weed"

"Much larger than life, 'cause from such height / Life looks awful small"

"Well, I cry on skies of blue linoleum, Clouds o' spilled milk"

Penny Lamb: Willard!

Aspiring animal conservationist doesn't know how to relate to "normal" people partially due to her upbringing. Parts of the song were the singer wants animal traits the make their life easier reminds me of Penny's whole "I vomit fire" thing before absolutely destroying JK-47

“Until frustration makes me wish my teeth were sharp as yours”

“I've never understood what humans do and want / It's quite confusing to me to try to connect / Never learned how I should feel, instincts somehow stunted”

Extra characters outside of the choir:

I'll go less in depth for these as i think most of these are self-explanatory

Karnak: Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world

funky sentient machine is constantly aware of his imminent death and decides to be a goofy goober because of it

Virgil: Tomcat Disposables

rat just wants to vibe and chew on a power cable. oopsies he's dead now

Monique Gibeau: White Knuckle Jerk & Front Street

oh em gee she's so gorgeous and dangerous and the world described in Noel's Lament is very gritty and a little gross

Ezra Lamb: Euthanasia (Live)

this mostly feeds into my hc that Ezra ditched school to go to the fair with the choir and had to see his sister get beheaded, being completely inconsolable, and not being listened to because he's "a kid looking for attention"

It's the end yay!!

That's the end folks! I really enjoyed making this (i am a very big fan of both rtc and will wood) there were a lot of other songs i wanted to include (skeleton appreciation day, i/me/myself etc.) but didn't because either

a. they fit too many characters for me to just pin one to them or

b. the character already had two songs assigned to them

i hope anybody reading this is having a good day/night and listens to will wood more in the future ig

#please let me know if there are any spelling/grammar mistakes #also if any of the links don't work #this drained like all of my computer battery lol #now for all the fandom tags (yipee)#ride the cyclone #rtc #rtc musical #rtc jane doe #ocean o'connell rosenberg #noel gruber #mischa bachinski #constance blackwood #jane doe rtc #ricky potts #ezra lamb #penny lamb

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dustedmagazine · 1 month ago

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Tim’s 2024: A Question of Focus

DIIV

The more time I spend listening to new music, the more I realize the extent to which my year-end list is largely dependent on the records I’ve chosen to focus on reviewing for Dusted. It takes time to listen to and digest music to the point where I find myself with something approaching insightful to say, which means I’m pretty discerning when it comes to choosing albums to review. There’s only so much time available to listen to new music, so it pays to focus the firehose of continuous new releases into a manageable stream. All of the following have necessitated repeat listens, not only in order to get my head around them, but also to get my head into them, to lose myself in their world. There’s been a hell of a lot of great music released this year; these are the records I kept returning to.

1. DIIV — Frog In Boiling Water (Fantasy)

youtube

DIIV’s third album, Deceiver, felt like a step up for the band, and Frog In Boiling Water is the band really hitting their stride, melding shoegaze, dream-pop and grunge into a heady, addictive brew that scratches the same itch that Loveless and Siamese Dream did when I was a teenager. Thick, complex guitarscapes such as “In Amber” and “Somber The Drums” characterize much of the album’s appeal, but it was the scouring, dread-soaked “Soul-net” that I replayed more than any song this year.

2. The Smile — Cutouts (XL)

youtube

It’s been a good year to be a Radiohead fan, with two albums from The Smile, a solo tour from Thom Yorke, and a book of photography from bassist Colin Greenwood. The Smile’s Cutouts, the second of the year’s two albums, balances head-nodding guitar intricacy with zone-out synth jams. Compared to January’s Wall Of Eyes, it feels like an embarrassment of riches on the songwriting side.

3. Loma — How Will I Live Without A Body? (Sub Pop)

youtube

Emily Cross, Jonathan Meiburg and Dan Duszynski took a bit of a left turn on their second album, Don’t Shy Away, veering into more synth-focused art-pop territories. It didn’t always cohere, so it’s a relief that Loma have returned to what they do best on album three: stark, haunted indie-rock with plenty of atmosphere and gorgeous songs.

4. Luke Temple and The Cascading Moms — Certain Limitations (Western Vinyl)

youtube

Following his diversion into Arthur Russell-esque beat-drift under the pseudonym Art Feynman, Luke Temple returns to releasing music under his given name and recruits new band The Cascading Moms. Their chops are razor-sharp and the songwriting swings between languid and impressively funky.

5. Jessica Pratt — Here In The Pitch (Mexican Summer)

I’d not paid much attention to Jessica Pratt before this year, but Here In The Pitch’s combination of classic 1960s wall-of-sound production and simple but affecting songwriting really won me over. In some ways it feels like a more digestible cousin of Cindy Lee’s colossal Diamond Jubilee. “World On A String” and “Empires Never Know” are especially stunning.

6. Jon Mckiel — Hex (You’ve Changed)

2020’s Bobby Joe Hope was Jon Mckiel’s low-key breakout with its combination of found-sound tape loops and affecting songwriting. Hex digs deeper into more abstract territories that feel dark and dejected yet sweetly hopeful.

7. Winged Wheel — Big Hotel (12XU)

youtube

To my mind, shoegaze is at its best when the whole surge of sound feels like it could collapse at any moment. What keeps Big Hotel on the rails and piledriving forward is the twin-drum attack of Fred Thomas and Steve Shelley. The swirl and burn of the music’s relentless momentum feels like trying to take refuge in a wildfire, cooled by the balm of Whitney Johnson’s airy vocals.

8. Rosali — Bite Down (Merge)

This one was a common pick on our mid-year lists, and for good reason. Bite Down strikes a sweet balance between the melodic songwriting of my personal Rosali favorite Trouble Anyway, and the shaggy jams of her backing band Mowed Sound.

9. Nilufer Yanya — My Method Actor (Ninja Tune)

youtube

Single “Mutations” pulled me in with its intricate guitar and bass work, the tumble of toms, and Yanya’s disaffected purr. My Method Actor mines this seam thoroughly, approaching mid-tempo indie-rock with an artisan’s attention to detail and some achingly beautiful arrangements.

10. Body Meπa — Prayer In Dub (Hausu Mountain)

Much like Winged Wheel’s Big Hotel, Prayer In Dub throws the listener into a dense, swirling guitar-bass-drums soundscape of intricately shifting layers. The playing is absolutely stellar, especially from drummer Greg Fox, and sounds amazing when loud.

10 more in alphabetical order:

Cindy Lee — Diamond Jubilee (self released)

Ned Collette — Our Other History (Sophomore Lounge)

Corridor — Mimi (Sub Pop)

English Teacher — This Could Be Texas (Island)

Horse Jumper Of Love — Disaster Trick (Run For Cover)

Itasca — Imitation of War (Paradise of Bachelors)

The Smile — Wall of Eyes

Svaneborg Kardyb — Superkilen (Gondwana)

Wand — Vertigo (Drag City)

Xiu Xiu — 13” Frank Beltrame Italian Stiletto with Bison Horn Grips (Polyvinyl)

#yearend 2024 #dusted magazine #tim clarke #diiv #the smile #loma #luke temple #jessica pratt #jon mckiel #winged wheel #rosali #nilufer yanya #Body Meπa

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misfitwashere · 3 months ago

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The Submission Chain

The Transitive Property and Trump

TIMOTHY SNYDER

NOV 14

To normalize what is happening is to take part in the regime change. For a writer, normalization means pretending that the same concepts that once applied still do apply. When we do that, we destroy the concepts.

For an unfamiliar politics we will need experimentation. Two essays ago, this meant reconsidering a historical cliché; last time, it meant a sitcom pitch; this time, we will do some applied math.

You might remember the transitive property. If one number (x) is lesser than another number (y) and (y) is lesser than (z), then we can be certain that (x) is lesser than (z). Or: if x < y and y < z, then x < z.

The mathematical notation can help us define a submission chain: who submits to whom in the Trumpian oligarchy. If we can lay this out plainly, we might see some openings for understanding -- and for action. And so, to begin:

Trump voters < Trump

Trump voters have chosen a Leader, someone with a story. Many of them believe that he is a billionaire, that he won the election of 2020, that Russia had nothing to do with it, that Haitians in Ohio eat cats, and so on. In other words, many of them believe in lies that, at some level, they know to be lies. This is submission; living inside someone else's story always is. And thus many Trump voters are choosing to be manipulated in a certain kind of venture, one in which politics must be about division (sorry, more math!). If politics begins from lies and you accept that, you can always "own" the other side, because they will be upset not only by your winning but also by the lies you repeat. For many Trump voters, this is what power means: "owning the libs."

I remember the first time I heard this phrase: in rural southwestern Ohio, in 2016. And what I thought then was: just because he upsets other Americans, how does that help you? How does that help our country? "Owning the libs" does not get us far in international politics. Usually democratic power is about multiplication: we bring people together, we can pass some laws, people might benefit. But Trump's domestic power is division, making America much weaker than it would be in foreign affairs. The United States is strong as a republic (flawed though that republic might be). It is weaker when its ruler aspires to be a divider and a dictator. And thus the very power that Trump voters see in Trump is, seen from any external perspective, weakness. This is how the next step of the formula is possible:

Trump voters < Trump < Putin, therefore Trump voters < Putin

At this point the Trump voters protest! The moment the subject Russia is raised, Trump supporters defend their submission to Trump by defending him from the charge that he is submissive to Russia. They have been trained to use the word "hoax," which emerges like an auto-response to the word "Russia." Trump supporters (and Russians pretending to be Trump supporters on the internet) have bullied the press with the "hoax" taunt for so long and so hard that media seem frightened of the subject, even though every serious journalist who has worked on the subject knows that Russia backs Trump and has backed Trump for years and years.

The "hoax" taunt, incidentally, or perhaps not so incidentally, is what the Russians call "reflexive control." A psychological environment is created in which you do not what you want to do but what Russia wants you to do. You know that if you write about Russia's persistent and obvious backing of Donald Trump, a chorus of "hoax" will follow you. And so you do not do it. And so, even when Russia blatantly interfered in this presidential election on election day by way of bomb threats to dozens precincts with Democratic majorities, this got little attention. This reflex does so much work these days that even new and obvious examples of Russian support for Trump get absorbed by it!

Trump knows that Russia's backing of him is not a hoax, and Putin knows that it is not a hoax. Russia's support for him is so much on Trump's mind that he seeks to appoint as CIA director someone who believes will expunge the record of what Trump called in the announcement "fake Russian collusion." In fact, the CIA at the time, along with all other US intelligence agencies, judged that Russia had intervened to support the Trump campaign. After the election, the evidence only mounted. I wrote an entire book that led to this episode (Road to Unfreedom), tracing its sources back to ideological changes in Russia and technological changes that allowed for the intervention. The Mueller Report, though little read and dismissed, actually makes the case quite indisputably that Russia supported Trump; indeed, even its critics did not directly question that, but rather focused on the idea that it did not prove collusion. This was not really true, either; there was plenty of collusion, but Mueller thought that this was better left for an impeachment than a prosecution, which got us into the square dance of legal irresponsibility around Trump in which we still find ourselves.

One can debate the sources of Trumps submissiveness to Putin. Is it mainly all the money made from the licensing agreements? Is it mainly admiration for the billionaire oligarch, something that Trump clearly wants to be? Is it mainly gratitude for the electoral assistance, for the favor that Russia now explicitly calls in? Is it a more complicated manipulation of Trump's ego, combining elements of all these? Or is it that the Russians are actually capable of blackmailing him directly, as people who spend time with him tend to believe? Is it now that Trump and Musk and Putin, in all of their calls these last two years, have cooked up something between themselves? Whatever the causes, the results up to now have been unmistakable. Trump portrays Putin as a great leader, says that he trusts him more than his own advisors, praises his invasion of Ukraine as "brilliant," and now proposes a defender of Putinism as director of national intelligence.

There is no conceivable argument from US national interests to propose Tulsi Gabbard for that most critical position. She has zero relevant experience. The only thing for which she is known is her support of Putin (and Assad). Her candidacy is, quite literally, a proposal that can only have emerged in Moscow, where she is known as a "Russian agent" or as "our girlfriend."

Trump voters < Trump < Putin < Xi, therefore Trump voters < Xi

Trump voters, of course, would resist this formula, and so would the pro-Trump elite. Surely Trump, if nothing else, is a China hawk? Yet whatever Trump might say, he cannot possibly mount a policy that deters China if he is submissive to Putin. The Russian leader is in an inferior position to the Chinese leader; Russia's war on Ukraine has reduced Putin very much to the position of beseeching client. So to be Putin's client, as Trump very much appears to be, is also to be Xi's.

But I don't insist on this just as a logical consequence of the transitive property of submission. The relationship is concrete and specific and has to do with Ukraine. If Trump submits to Putin on Ukraine, he not only demonstrates that he is incapable of dealing with China, he surrenders in advance to China.

This logic is clear to essentially everyone in the world except Americans, who tend to see themselves as only having bilateral relationships with other countries, and to always be in the dominant role. We might imagine that we are in a bilateral relationship with Ukraine, and with Russia, and with China, and can do as we choose with respect to each. But these relationships are deeply intertwined.

Ukrainian resistance deters China in way that we cannot deter China ourselves. Virtually anything the United States does to deter China can be seen as provocative. Simply by defending itself, however, Ukraine demonstrates that offensive operations are difficult and unpredictable. Should Trump submit to Putin and try to force Ukraine to surrender, this deterrent affect disappears.

And of course China is watching what we do (again, whether we realize this or not!). Not only in Beijing but in all the world beyond America's allies the thinking is essentially such: if the United States cannot help to defend Ukraine, which is an easy case, there is no way that the United States would help to defend Taiwan.

Why is Ukraine an easy case? Because we have no troops in Ukraine and never will; because the case fits perfectly our explicit commitment to defending democracy; and because we enjoy, with our allies, an overwhelming economic advantage over Russia. And so, if the United States tries to surrender Ukraine to Putin, this is not only submission to XI, it is an invitation to a far broader war, one that might have been deterred simply by continuing to back Ukraine.

I write "tries to surrender Ukraine to Russia" advisedly. Ukraine is not ours to surrender. Trump can himself surrender, but he cannot surrender on behalf of Ukraine. And precisely because Trump has been to persistently submissive in his dealings with Putin, the Russians assume that his opening offer, whatever it is, can be improved by ignoring him or abusing him.

Putin and his Kremlin subordinates are certainly mocking Trump at the moment: denying that a phone call took place when Trump says it did; escalating viciously in Ukraine after Trump claimed that he told Putin not to escalate; showing pornographic photographs of Trump's wife on Russian state television; suggesting that Trump owes his presidency to Russia (Patrushev); predicting that Trump will be assassinated if he does not do Russia's bidding (Medvedev). All of this emphasizes Trump < Putin.

But for Putin this is also in some sense a bluff. The war in Ukraine, although horrible costly for the Ukrainian defenders, is also a disaster for Russia. The Russians are taking horrible losses for minor advances. They are using North Korean soldiers in a battle to try to regain Russian territory from Ukrainians. If, when Russia began its full-scale invasion in February 2022, someone had forecast that "in about three years, Russia will be deploying North Koreans to try to retake Ukrainian-occupied portions of Kursk oblast" that would have seemed insane. But that is where we are. The Russians have been telling themselves for two years that a Trump victory will mean their victory in Ukraine, and they will no doubt try to prove themselves right. Continuing the offensive and bullying Trump are two sides of the same coin.

Theoretically, Trump could break out of this logic. As the Ukrainians keep trying to remind us, Russia will only seek peace if it believes that it is losing. Russia will only believe that if the United States aids Ukraine more rather than less. But this is impossible so long as it remains the case that Trump < Putin, so long as that part of the submission chain holds. And so long as that link is unbroken, it also remains true that Trump < Xi. There can be no successful China policy without the right Ukraine policy. And, so long as that is the case, Trump voters < Xi, whether they like it or not. This is not what they voted for, and not what the Trumpist elite promised, but it will be the case.

To be sure, the transitive property of submission does not capture everything about domestic and international politics. But I believe that it does capture something quite important that conventional thinking might not. We will never understand the choice of Tulsi Gabbard in terms of democracy or national interest or by any of the familiar concepts. It does make sense as part of a submission chain (or on Oligarchs' Island).

By making ourselves smaller than we need to be at home, we also make ourselves smaller than we might like to be abroad. If we have a president who considers himself an aspiring dictator among real dictators, the United States is weak where it might have been strong. When we enter the personalistic kinds of relationships that Trump favors and claims to thrive in, we find ourselves in a submissive position that no one ever actually wanted -- no one, except for Trump, Putin, and Xi.

#timothy snyder #thinking about...

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