#remix and rewind is over

[a-non-ymouswriter]

Damn, that's all i got to say. You're quite the ambitious on writer Remix like huh??? You're description really fits you. You ain't icarus flying towards the sun, you're a rocket ship propelling through space in light years per second to destination unknown. Like Three world dimensions you trying to write??? Piglin tribes??? Cultures and politics?! Woo that's sheer dedication. But then again you burned yourself attempting to write it. But alas i am shock to see Theo dying in Remix like it was not on my Remix bingo list. But anyway thanks for trying your best to explain the story in whole detailed, you did good mate. And as a reader I am proud about you. I am glad you're in other fandom writing new stuffs that makes you happy. Thanks again.

yeah i thought i was flying close to the sun but i definitely rocketing myself into the black hole there. i was too ambitious with remix, but i'm still glad i managed to make the outline and give you all a peek as to what could have been.

and thank you honestly, you and all the other readers. honestly nicholaspwildeblog you've been around since the beginning i'm pretty sure and the fact you're still here is amazing so thank you as well for your support :D

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Jay Halstead NSFW Alphabet 

This is a small apology for my hyper-fixation on my Rewind, Remix, & Replay (Burgstead story). I know it’s not a common pairing or a reader insert but it has been so much fun to write. I’m totally hooked on the couple. If you have any interest you can check it out HERE. 

 Anyway, enjoy some sexy Jay Halstead content! (I forgot how long these take to write) 

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) 

Jay is all about aftercare. He will only leave the bed to clean himself and you up, or grab you something if you need it. Jay’s favorite way to give you aftercare is through physical touch. He wants to hold you, kiss your skin, tangle his finger in your hair. He wants the intimacy of having pillow talk or the playfulness of wrestling around or tickling you until you are begging him to stop.  

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 

Jay’s favorite body part of himself is his hands. They are rough and calloused from hard work and his time carrying around a gun in the desert. They can hold a sniper rifle and make perfect aim as well as run through your hair when you lay together in bed, or pull an orgasm out of you as you ride his fingers. 

Jay’s favorite part of you if asked would be everything. He loves your body and always claims he can’t pick just one part of you to be his favorite. But you have noticed his fixation on your ass. He is always slapping it as he walks by, grabbing it during sex, or sliding his hand into your back pocket. He had even bit your ass a few times when he had the opportunity. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) 

Jay loves to come inside of you, it makes him feel connected to you. He will stay inside of your tight warm core until he goes soft. When he finally pulls out he likes to watch his come drip out of you and down your thighs mixing with the wetness of your arousal. He will clean the sticky mess but takes gratification in knowing that his DNA will linger on you long after he has wiped it away.    

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) 

One of Jay’s favorite things is to be woken up by you giving him head. There is just something about starting his day with his cock in your mouth. He doesn’t even care if it's just a warm-up and you guys end up finishing with sex.  

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) 

Jay has plenty of sexual experience. While Jay prefers committed long-term relationships, he had his Casanova days in his early twenties and after bad breakups. He has learned and perfected how to please a woman. But Jay knows that no woman's body is the same and he makes it his mission to learn how to please you.          

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) 

Jay’s favorite position is with you on top. He likes watching you bounce on his cock. Your breast in his face with easy access to his mouth. His hands can grab your hips or ass to urge you on.  He can kiss you and rub slow circles on your clit. He can let you take charge letting the pleasure roll over him or he can rock up into you to meet your thrusts.   

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) 

Jay can be goofy during sex. He likes the banter your relationship has and it often leaks into the bedroom. Sassy comments or jokes can have you both laughing into each other's kisses. Once or twice you had got each other laughing so hard that you had to take a break mid sex to catch your breath.  

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) 

Jay keeps himself trimmed for the sake of hygiene when he is single. When he is busy it drops low on his list of worries well below food and sleep. When he is in a relationship, he is more on top of it making sure it stays in his normal routine. He is more aware of the length of his facial stubble too. He doesn’t want to leave you with a constant healing beard burn. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) 

Jay wants intimacy in his relationships. It’s not romantic in the normal aspect of flowers and fancy dates. It’s getting to know you, the banter you share, the drag of his stubble against your skin as he kisses every inch of your body. It’s being tangled together naked afterwards sharing soft kisses. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) 

Jay was in the military for years so he knows how to jack off quick and efficiently. Jay doesn’t masturbate a lot. He does it more for stress relief than anything else. He usually does it while in the shower for quicker cleanup. If he is in a relationship, he will get himself off if you are not in the mood, but he has to go without for a while before he even considers it.    

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) 

Jay likes to have sex in public places. The threat of getting caught makes the experience more thrilling. He also has a praise kink. He wants to know how good he is making you feel. He loves to see you flush with his praises and tell you what a good girl you are.  

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) 

Jay's favorite place to have sex with you is on the bed. There is plenty of room to do an array of positions with the comfort of a soft mattress and sheets. Jay is also a sucker for having sex with you pressed against walls. Whether it's your hands holding yourself up as he pounded into you from behind or your legs wrapped around his waist nails digging into his shoulders. Jay is also a fan of having sex in semi-public spots- he enjoys the thrill of almost getting caught. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) 

Jay is pretty easy to get in the mood. Flirty banter, heated looks, and caressing touches will pull his mind to dirtier things. Jay is a visual man so seeing you in lingerie or his clothes is a big turn-on. The two of you pulled an all-nighter when you were draped across his bed in nothing but one of his flannels unbuttoned, red lipstick, and his dog tags hanging between your breasts.   

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) 

Jay will not do anything that could cause you physical harm. He is okay with spanking, restraining, and even some light choking- leaving little bruises and love bites but never wants to cross the line where something could actually hurt you. Jay is very monogamous. That along with his possessiveness and jealousy makes the idea of another person joining you guys in bed an immediate no.   

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) 

Jay has a talent with his tongue and it’s not just for his sassy smartass remarks. His oral skills are otherworldly. He can get you off in a matter of minutes with just his mouth if he isn’t in a teasing mood. He is a fan of using his fingers too. If his mouth or fingers can make you feel pleasure on their own, how much will you receive with both? Jay doesn’t like to stop when he starts either. Your legs are shaking and have come twice already and are edging on overstimulation. You’ll just have to wait until he is finished. 

Jay loves receiving as much as he enjoys giving. He will thread his finger through your hair pulling it back into a ponytail. He likes to tug the strands but mostly it makes it easier to see your eyes. It does something to him to see you on your knees, your face flushed, cheeks hollowed, sucking on his cock eyes locked with his. Jay likes to thrust into your mouth and loves it when you swallow but he will never force you to do either and will give you a warning before comes.   

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) 

Jay knows there is a time and place for both. He leans towards the more rougher side pace. The friction of your bodies together, the bouncing of your breast, his hips snapping against yours. There are days that he wants slow intimate lovemaking. He will lay you down and worship every inch of your body, caressing all your dips and curves. He will rock into purposefully letting you feel every inch of his cock rubbing inside of you.  

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) 

Jay loves quickies. Life is busy and there isn’t always a lot of time for long drawn-out sex. If an opportunity arises for a quick fuck he almost always says yes. He had on more than one occasion locked the two of you in a bar bathroom, hushing you as he fucked you from behind. He likes the thrill of not having a lot of time and having a chance of being caught.  

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) 

Jay is a risk taker, the man has spent years in the army and likes a good adrenaline rush. He is down to try any position you can find or come up with. Jay likes to have sex in public, he likes the risk of being caught. It’s a challenge for him- can he get you off or fuck you while keeping you quiet enough to not get caught? Can he turn you on enough for you not to care if you do?  

You guys have got caught once in a bar parking lot. Luckily the person in question didn’t know you were having sex and just thought you were making out heavily. You were still fully clothed except for your panties. The skirt of your dress was spread over his lap covering the fact that he was buried deep inside of you. Both of you were so turned on that you continued with minimal thought after the person had made it to their car. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) 

Jay has a high stamina. He is more willing to give up sleep to pull an all-night sexathon. If you are up for another round, most likely so is he. He just needs fifteen to thirty minutes for his refractory period. He is more than willing to keep you warm up with oral, fingerfucking, or just making out with caressing touches. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) 

Jay isn’t a huge fan of toys. He won’t be offended if you ask to use them with him or add them to your sex play. He will use them and use them well but he would rather get you off himself. He is more into restraints and blindfolding his partners.  

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) 

While Jay is a massive flirter and likes to tease you outside of the bedroom, he isn’t a big teaser sexually. He is a complete pleasure junky- your pleasure. He wants to make you feel good and is more likely to overstimulate you with orgasms than to edge you with teasing. He does it occasionally when he feels like you are being a brat and needs to be taught a lesson.     

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) 

Jay isn’t necessarily loud but he is a groaner when he has sex. He likes to dirty talk in bed and loves to make you moan as loud as he can. You can get him to be pretty loud too with the right encouragement. Mostly it is a string of curses that turn into moans as you clench around him.  

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) 

Right after Jay returned from deployment he was touch starved. He didn’t feel like himself enough to build new relationships or even maintain old ones. He spent his first few months bouncing from one girl's bed to the next using a fake name. During that period the sex felt mechanical and didn’t do much for him but it did give him the physical contact that he was craving. He would completely wear his partner out so he could lay there and hold them after they fell asleep. Unfortunately, it never really helped barely taking the itch away. He often left their beds feeling more empty and isolated than before.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) 

Jay has an athletic build, and his body all smooth lean muscles. He has strong arms and broad shoulders. He had a washboard stomach with six-pack abs and a cut V of his hips. Jay is above average in the length of his cock easily hitting six and a half inches when he is hard. His dick is on the slender side but still thick enough that it takes your body time to adjust to him when he first slides in.    

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) 

Jay has a high sex drive. He would prefer to have sex three to four times a week if you are willing. He is insatiable when he comes back from long UC operations. He can’t keep his hands off you or his lips to himself. When he is working bad cases or is having PTSD flashbacks his sex drive tends to drop drastically or cause dry spells.     

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 

Jay wants to make sure you are taken care of after you have sex so he stays up until he is sure you have gotten the aftercare you need. He enjoys basking in his relaxed state, clear mind, and tired body, after his orgasm for as long as he can. You usually fall asleep first unless it has been a multiple-round night and you are curled up with him. Jay is a light sleeper from his time in the army and will wake up if you get up or move around too much in your sleep.  

[wangxianficrecs]

Rewind 2023 - Part IV

WangxianFicRecs - Rewind 2023

It's time for the last post of our Rewind 2023. There are still a few stories left that were published this year that deserve a shout-out and I hope you will shower them with love as well. I'll also make sure to make a Masterpost for all Rewind 2023 posts, so that it's more convenient to find them.

Part I

Part II

Part III

~*~

watch your anger

by loosingletters (@loosingmoreletters)

T, 1k, Cangse Sanren | Kay's Rec

Summary: Watch your anger, her master used to say, never reprimanding Cangse Sanren for her temper tantrums, mainly reminding her of what she stood to lose if she gave in. Cangse Sanren survives. Wei Changze does not.

~*~

Day 1: Dad!Xian

by UseMyMuse (@museywrites)

G, 1k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Part of Xiantober 2023

Summary: Wei Ying is a tired single parent, but a good cup of coffee and a handsome, flirty stranger leads to a happy future

~*~

Day 4: Ghost!Xian

by UseMyMuse (@museywrites)

T, 5k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Part of Xiantober 2023

Summary: Wei Ying died at the age of 10, but miraculously the little boy Lan Wangji from down the street was able to see him. They become an unlikely pair and form an unbreakable friendship. Things seem fine until a hostile presence shakes Wei Ying to his ghostly core.

~*~

waiting for us

by sunflowersfield

T, 3k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: Wei Ying is in the middle of cooking dinner when Lan Zhan walks into the apartment on Friday night. As soon as the door opens, Wei Ying drops his knife onto the counter with a clatter, abandoning his recipe so that he can throw his arms around Lan Zhan and pull him close. “You’re here!” he exclaims, grinning when he feels Lan Zhan’s arms curl around his waist. “I am here,” Lan Zhan replies in his steady, calming voice, and Wei Ying’s smile grows wider. Or: Wei Ying and Lan Zhan attend different colleges, but they spend every weekend together.

~*~

Snapping The Banjo

by Anonymous

M, 8k, Wangxian & Xuanli | Kay's Rec

Summary: “A-Jie…” Jiang Cheng pushes. “I broke my husband’s penis during sex.” One quick in-out breath as Yanli raises her chin high, pivots sharply on her heel and marches back off towards the building. Wei Ying opens his mouth. Jiang Cheng slowly raises a hand to silence him, expression on his face as if he had been slapped with a wet fish. Wei Ying and Lan Zhan's date night has gone wrong. Then, Jiang Yanli calls to ask her brothers for a ride to the hospital. Jiang Yanli's date night has gone very wrong.

~*~

Just a Little Wound

by meyari

T, 4k, Wangxian | Mojo's Rec

Summary: Raising a child is sometimes a challenge, especially when you’re confronted with a little boy who has no idea whatsoever why it’s not appropriate to stab people who are rude.

~*~

a better world

by ilip13 (@ilip13)

G, 1k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: It’s been a year, today. A year of wearing a borrowed body, and all of a sudden, Wei Wuxian doesn’t feel like getting up and getting on with his day. * Some days are not great and that's okay.

~*~

At the end of all things

by Entityx

M, 6k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Part of the MDZS Mini Remix for Tired Adults™

Summary: Lan Wangji is aware that he is not the only one who is left haunted by constant bloodshed. Everyone has changed over the course of the Sunshot Campaign. However the one who underwent the most drastic change was undeniable. It's subtle- he's still friendly and boisterous with members of his sect. But he is not truly open anymore. Gone is the optimistic boy who radiated sincerity with every word. Instead he is replaced with a hollow imitation, with a smile cracked at the edges, and a laugh that is too hollow to fool anyone.

~*~

What Lies Beneath These Hallowed Woods

by meekome (@meekkome)

M, WIP, 19k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: The shadows are alive. Writhing and twisting around him, creeping over him, between his fingers, around his throat, curious and hungry. The dirt beneath is black like dried blood, which makes the shards and fragments of bones half-buried around him easy to see, white and glimmering unnaturally bright in the gloom. Then something looks at him, from behind the shadows, and Wei Wuxian flinches at the weight of its attention. “Who are you?” Wei Wuxian says, voice echoing strangely as the silence stretches and the resentment nips at his skin, held back by this thing he cannot see. You do not have a name for what I am, it finally says. Wei Wuxian sucks in a slow breath. “What are you, then?” The trees bend and snap in a sudden breeze and the ghosts around him spin and whine, and Wei Wuxian is horrified to realize it is laughing. Shall I let you see, little cultivator? Doing so has driven more humans mad than the number of bones that sleep beneath your feet. But Wei Wuxian has never been good at ignoring knowledge, no matter the consequences, and he does not look away.

~*~

an inch away from more (than just friends)

by occultings (microcomets) (@microcomets)

E, 15k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Part of WLW Wangxian Week 2023

Summary: “What do you think about,” Wei Ying said aloud, before she could stop herself, before she could even think twice about the repercussions. “When you.” She finally found Lan Zhan’s eyes, molten in the low light, and swallowed in a tiny, audible gulp. “You know.” On Wei Ying, Lan Zhan’s gaze didn’t waver even a fraction. “Giving head,” she said. Wei Ying was certain she’d misheard. “Getting head?” “No,” said Lan Zhan. — After a surprise party gone awry, Wei Ying surprises herself.

~*~

💙 The loudest silence

by barisan (@barisan-no)

T, 15k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Part of the MDZS Mini Remix for Tired Adults™

Summary: In almost two decades of peace and with a whole generation who has not known differently, it is hard for those who sit above such dangers to fear a banal death. In a lifetime of not knowing what it means to be truly and utterly alone in such a world, it is hard to understand it is often a sentence. Or, a remix of our beloved post-cql WWX whump

~*~

The lavender handkerchief

by barisan (@barisan-no)

Not rated, 1k, Lan Qiren & Wei Wuxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: Wei Wuxian’s time on the streets left a deeper wound on his mind. Lan Qiren finds him having a panic attack after being triggered during his punishment.

~*~

Song of the River Rain

by MajiLovePrincess

E, 9k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Part of the MDZS Reverse Big Bang: 2023

Summary: “Jiaoren,” the man breathes, his voice soft and his golden eyes wide. Those strange eyes dart over Wei Wuxian’s sharp ears and nails before lingering on the bloody red of his tail. “Human,” Wei Wuxian sneers. “You should have fled when you had the chance.” ... When he wakes from his winter sleep, Wei Wuxian attempts to drive a farmer from his territory. He falls in love, instead. Lan Zhan's mysterious past does not do them the courtesy of staying buried.

~*~

Fit for Purpose

by Deastar (@youhideastar)

E, 18k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: Wei Wuxian is given clean clothes, and as much food as he wants, and a blanket. He still doesn’t know what a beta is. But he knows he is one, now. And he knows that that’s the reason he has these wonderful things. When Wei Wuxian was a little boy, Jiang Fengmian brought him home to Lotus Pier; when Yu Ziyuan learned the boy was a beta, she allowed him to stay. 30 years later, a resurrected Wei Wuxian hangs around Cloud Recesses and waits to wear out his welcome.

~*~

💙 all is bright

by sunflowersfield

T, 4k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: Wei Ying has slept in many different places. He has curled up on a park bench or a tiny cot in a room full of strangers. But somehow, he has never shared a bed with someone he cares about. He is realizing, now, as the sound machine fills his room with the pitter-patter of gentle rain, that he cares about Lan Zhan. Or: Wei Ying moves into his first apartment. His new neighbor helps him turn it into a home.

~*~

Your Shelter

by cosmicmilktea

T, WIP, 2k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Part of the MDZS Mini Remix for Tired Adults™

Summary: “There is no need for sorry,” Lan-gege had told him, what seemed like such a long time ago, “Robes can be cleaned.” But a soiled robe in Lotus Pier means lashes on his back and a night of kneeling in the ancestral hall, even if Jiang Cheng and all the other disciples also came back with mud and reeds painting their robes. A soiled robe means hearing baba and mama's names spoken in malice and ridicule. It means a gentle chiding from shijie as she pats his head and offers him a bowl of warm soup, which only made him miss the warmth of Xian-gege's safe embrace. His back hurts, and his knees ache from kneeling so long. Beneath his robes, Lan-gege's ribbon presses close to his heart, and it reminds him how he had felt so safe with the two men. How baba and mama had also made him feel safe even without the shelter of gilded walls and roofs. He longs to be that safe again, the longing building and building in the too-small confines of his chest until Wei Ying can not hold it in any longer. He runs.

~*~

We Meet at the Thousandth Step

by Admiranda (@ladypfenix), Rynne (@rynne)

T, WIP, 142k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: As they both go wherever the chaos might be, Lan Wangji and rogue cultivator Wei Wuxian, eldest child of the famous Cangse-sanren, find their paths converging. Soon they'll discover in each other the perfect partner for night hunting...and beyond.

~*~

12 Hours In Hell and Paradise (Or: Lan Zhan’s Distinguished Guide to Seasonal Depression)

by demonicsalad (@santonali)

T, 4k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: Wei Ying (1:01PM): brb putting lobotomy on my 2024 goals list Lan Zhan (1:02PM): Wei Ying. Wei Ying (1:02PM): [screenshot attached] Wei Ying (1:03PM): did i fucking stutter Or: of tears, tea, rotting, and long-overdue realizations

~*~

pale shadows of forgotten names

by Chrononautical (@chrononautintraining)

T, 56k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: To protect the Wen, Wei Wuxian throws himself on the mercy of the Lan Sect. To protect Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji marries him. To protect them all, Lan Xichen orders the Yiling Laozu's seclusion in the Jingshi. But the Jingshi had another occupant in the past. One who lingers on, furious to think that history might repeat.

~*~

Cuties and Questions

by WiseDawn13 (@wisedawn13)

T, 6k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: “Suibian?” a deep voice says suddenly, catching his attention. Wei Ying opens his eyes to look at who approached and promptly finds himself without breath at the sight of the man in front of him. After all these years he shouldn’t recognize him so easily, but Wei Ying would never be able to forget those eyes. “Oh!” Wen Ning squeaks. “You are familiar with Suibian?” Wei Ying watches as Lan Zhan nods to Wen Ning. “I am. Are you the creator of Yiling Cuties?” “Ah? Oh, no. No, that would be him,” Wen Ning replies, somewhat flustered. It takes far too long for Wei Ying to realize that Wen Ning just diverted Lan Zhan’s attention to him because suddenly those golden brown eyes are staring directly into his soul and it hurts more than he would have expected. OR Wei Ying and Lan Zhan lost touch when Wei Ying's family moved away when they were kids. Wei Ying moves back to his hometown years later, meeting the man he once knew as his best friend.

~*~

💙 A New Dynasty

by One_eyed_God (@oneeyedoctogod)

T, Series, WIP, 76k, Background Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: Wei Wuxian is well-known as a trouble-maker, someone who likes jokes and chaos. He promptly proves this by disappearing without a trace from the Cloud Recesses, in the middle of the Lectures. But when war is on the horizon and tensions boil over, can his actions really be summarized as a simple prank? Or, the unbelievable story of Wei Wuxian, time traveller, told from everyone's point of view but his.

~*~

Christmas Eve at Number 16

by liulans (@liulans)

T, 9k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: Lan Wangji considers that for a moment, squaring Wei Wuxian up. And then he says, “You are asking– if I would like to spend Christmas with you?” “It doesn't have to be, like, Christmassy,” he reminds him. “We can just hang out. Maybe you can come over tomorrow evening, and I'll have you back in your apartment before midnight. And then on Christmas day, I'll bring you an apple for luck, and that can be that.” “Okay.” Lan Wangji says, after a moment of brow-furrowing contemplation. “...Okay?” “I will see you tomorrow. I will– spend Christmas with you.” --- [Prompt: Character A can’t travel to see their family on Christmas, so they invite their grumpy loner neighbour Character B.]

~*~

Cleaning & Courtship

by Winxhelina (@winxhelina)

T, 13k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: It all started with some offhand comment Jin Zixun had made about Wei Wuxian's father having been a servant. About how he should stick to that and not aim for places not meant for him. Wei Wuxian had been at a party at the time with Nie Huaisang and unlikely as it had been, Lan Wangji had been there too. Wei Wuxian had complained about money and that had seemingly inspired the comment from a man, who, Wei Wuxian was sure, had never worked a day in his life. Lan Wangji had stared at Jin Zixun so hard Wei Wuxian thought he might actually drop dead. Somehow, two months later, Wei Wuxian actually finds himself cleaning rich people’s houses. There are very few cultivators wiling to clean houses for other cultivators, but there is demand for it. You can't hire a regular maid to dust and clean your ancient artefacts, even just sword maintenance is a whole area of expertise that civilians aren't qualified to do. In which Wei Wuxian accidentally ends up cleaning his long-time friend's house and Lan Zhan's room harbours a secret.

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for these hard-working authors if you like – or think others might like – these stories.)

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🌈 Queer Books Coming Out in February 2024

🌈 Good afternoon, my bookish bats! Struggling to keep up with all the amazing queer books coming out this month? Here are a FEW of the stunning, diverse queer books you can add to your TBR before the year is over. Remember to #readqueerallyear! Happy reading!

❤️ We Ate the Dark by Mallory Pearson 🧡 The Paper Boys by D.P. Clarence 💛 Skater Boy by Anthony Nerada 💚 Your Shadow Half Remains by Sunny Moraine 💙 A Vicious Game by Melissa Blair 💜 Clarion Call by Cayla Fay ❤️ Relit: 16 Latinx Remixes of Classic Stories edited by Sandra Proudman 🧡 The Absinthe Underground by Jamie Pacton 💛 Truthfully, Yours by Caden Armstrong 💙 Outsider by Jade du Preez 💜 Cross My Candy Heart by A.C. Thomas 🌈 The Tainted Cup by Robert Jackson Bennett

❤️ An Education in Malice by S. T. Gibson 🧡 The Imposition of Unnecessary Obstacles by Malka Ann Older 💛 Never a Bridesmaid by Spencer Greene 💚 The Rewind by Nicole Stiling 💙 Good Christian Girls by Elizabeth Bradshaw 💜 The Fox Maidens by Robin Ha ❤️ The Terrible by Tessa Crowley 🧡 Blood Rage by Ileandra Young 💛 Call of the Sea by Emily B. Rose 💙 Sign Me Up by C.H. Williams 💜 Ways and Means by Daniel Lefferts 🌈 Peaceful in the Dark by A.A. Fairview

❤️ We Are Only Ghosts by Jeffrey L. Richards 🧡 Dead Ringer by Robyn Nyx 💛 Somacultural Liberation by Dr. Roger Kuhn 💚 Stormbringer by Erinn Harper 💙 A Saga of Shields & Shadows by A.J. Shirley 💜 Ghost Town by R.E. Ward ❤️ I Heard Her Call My Name by Lucy Sante 🧡 The Night Alphabet by Joelle Taylor 💛 Remedial Magic by Melissa Marr 💙 Bloom by N.R. Walker 💜 Entwined by Alex Alberto 🌈 Queer Newark edited by Whitney Strub

❤️ Tristan by Jesse Roman 🧡 How to Live Free in a Dangerous World by Shayla Lawson 💛 Daniel, Deconstructed by James Ramos 💚 Of Socialites & Prizefights by Arden Powell 💙 Lost Harbor by Kimberly Cooper Griffin 💜 Hannah Tate, Beyond Repair by Laura Piper Lee ❤️ Bunt! Striking Out on Financial Aid by Ngozi Ukazu & Mad Rupert 🧡 How You Get the Girl by Anita Kelly 💛 Blackmailer’s Delight by David Lawrence 💙 Tile M for Murder by Felicia Carparelli 💜 Impulse Buy by Jae 🌈 Live for You, Die With You by Kalob Dàniel

❤️ Fairest of All by A.D. Ellis 🧡 Goddess of the Sea by Britney Jackson 💛 A Taste of Earth by Nico Silver 💚 The Moorings of Mackerel Sky by M.Z. Emily Zack 💙 How the Boogeyman Became a Poet by Tony Keith 💜 V is for Valentine by Thomas Grant Bruso ❤️ Crushed Ice by Ashlyn Kane & Morgan James 🧡 When Tomorrow Comes by D. Jackson Leigh 💛 Bugsy & Other Stories by Rafael Frumkin 💙 The White and Blue Between Us by Kiyuhiko 💜 Guide Us Home by CF Frizzell & Jesse J. Thoma 🌈 The Friendship Study by Ruby Barrett

❤️ Infinity Alchemist by Kacen Callender 🧡 Heart2Heart edited by Annabeth Albert 💛 No Time Like Now by Naz Kutub 💚 Bless the Blood by Walela Nehanda 💙 Vengeance Planning for Amateurs by Lee Winter 💜 Who We Are in Real Life by Victoria Koops ❤️ Prove It by Stephanie Hoyt 🧡 Mewing by Chloe Spencer 💛 Awakenings by Claudie Arseneault 💙 Born of Scourge by S. Jean 💜 Disciples of Chaos by M.K. Lobb 🌈 To Cage a God by Elizabeth May

❤️ Greta & Valdin by Rebecca K Reilly 🧡 What Feasts At Night by T. Kingfisher 💛 You Had Me at Merlot by Melissa Brayden 💚 Turning Point by Cathy Dunnell 💙 For the Stolen Fates by Gwendolyn Clare 💜 Season of Eclipse by Terry Wolverton ❤️ These Haunted Hills by Jana Denardo 🧡 Samson & Domingo by Gume Laurel III 💛 Lies that Bind by Rae Knowles & April Yates 💙 We Got the Beat by Jenna Miller 💜 The Diablo's Curse by Gabe Cole Novoa 🌈 Blessings by Chukwuebuka Ibeh

❤️ Out There by Iris Eliot 🧡 At Her Service by Amy Spalding 💛 Green Dot by Madeleine Gray

[tortoisebore]

how did you come up with the title 'hey, sharpshooter'?

the easy answer is that it’s song lyrics

the long answer requires i take u on a journey

rewind back to early spring of 2022. i receive an IG dm from a friend that the band coin is going on tour. i like those guys, i know a few songs, sure let’s get $35 floor tickets and drive 3 hours to see them in june sounds fun

june 2022 i go to the concert and it’s insane. top 5 best concerts ever. they play a song i’ve heard like maybe two times before called “chapstick,” but they remix it just a little from the studio version and i lose my gd mind. footage of me screeching in overwhelming shock and delight behind the camera for proof:

flash forward to mid-november of 2022, i have had coin’s entire discography on repeat for months post-concert. i hop onto twitter one day and omfg, what’s this—likeafunerall has posted a new drawing. my life comes to a complete halt. a fixation like i have never before experienced takes over my body and brain. i think to myself “finally. finally all those years of playing and watching and living and breathing basketball have a purpose. my god the universe in all her glory has gifted me with an abundant plethora of background knowledge to write gay fanfiction. thank god i didn’t fuck up my knee and jam my knuckles into oblivion for 12 years for nothing.” i write the outline and make the playlist within 48 hours.

and then that fateful day, november 28 2022, i finish the first chapter and part of the second, and i sit back and look at my google doc and think “wait maybe i could post this??” so i log into ao3 and go to “new work” & i’m so excited bc i’ve never posted anything on ao3 before, and then i immediately get hit with “title” and i blank. so i run back to the playlist and omg—“chapstick,” the first song on the playlist and the song i became obsessed with after hearing live that summer, has multiple lyrics that start with “hey sharpshooter.”

i instantly don’t love it and think to myself, “huh. is that too on the nose? i feel like that’s too on the nose.” but i didn’t have any immediate better options so i posted it anyway with the idea that i could always go back and change it if i wanted. the rest is history.

[hwaightme]

Rewind and remix

🎶 pairing: hongjoong x gn!reader 🎶 genre: angst, fluff if you squint, a bit of comfort 🎶 summary: your relationship with hongjoong is much like a musical piece made for two, but what if its tone keeps getting darker, and growing dissonance threatens to turn it into a cacophony? 🎶 wordcount: 5.3k 🎶 warnings/tags: angst on valentine's day 'nuff said, seonghwa is the friend with some sense, heartbreak, try again, neglect, conflict, quiet arguments, miscommunication, secrets, hoping for something better, unedited (lmk if there is something too chaotic) 🎶 wordcount: @doom-fics @layzfeelit @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @honey-lemon-goose @byuntrash101 🎶 a/n: Hello beautiful people, this is for all those who wish to dive into angst today, much love and biggest hugs! (p.s.: Sky, you know exactly what conversation this came from xD)

» [regent's park by bruno major] « 0:00 ─〇───── 2:57 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

Hongjoong wished it would rain. He wished that the clear ultramarine blue skies would concentrate into blue droplets and pour down in a lifesaving frenzy and drown out the sound of his heart as it pounded. Drumming out a cacophonic, dysfunctional beat against his ribcage, already preoccupied with containing his progressively less functional lungs. But most importantly, he wished that it works rain so that you would not look as beautiful as you did, glowing even under the February light, magical as you floated across from the park gate, slowly making your way towards him. Maybe if your hair did not frame your face as well as it did and was stuck to your delicate features hidden under an equally soaked beanie, then he would be less afraid to look you in the eyes. Maybe if your amble were to be an unsteady jog, with all your efforts concentrated on chasing a spot where the downpour had not yet started, maybe then he would not be frozen in place, terrified of your approach and dreading the conversation. Maybe if some external circumstance could have perturbed you in some way, any way at all, then he would not have to experience your indifference, your masterfully crafted mask that signified it was truly over.

You had given him an ultimatum. Exactly a month ago, while sat at the cafe which you two had called 'yours', you told him to step up, or confidently decide to fall apart. It had not been a spontaneous proposition, either. For the many months over the course of your relationship, you had felt like you were giving your preferences up in favour of his far too often. In terms of organised meetings, you had managed to find a compromise, sure. You knew what you were getting into when you agreed to date Hongjoong, with high stress and chaotic schedule being a regular element to consider while planning, so you were more than happy to find time whenever you could, calmly settling for any short-notice changes and for unplanned emergencies during your times together. But in terms of the quality, there was a lot left to be desired, at least when it came to knowing where both of you stood when it came to defining your duo.

You swore that him asking you to be his girlfriend had not been a hallucination, but at times it really felt like such. As though this had all been your wishful thinking, turned into an obsession that you had been projecting onto him. Your request was a cry to prove you were sane, at least when it came to Hongjoong and you. There was no need to continue entertaining something that was a mere figment of your imagination, as painful as letting go would be. You did not want to do so, but what would the point be if all you had been holding onto was thin air and a man of your own design? You needed something real.

Hongjoong could be a romantic when he wanted to. He had written songs just for you, rapped adoring lines over syncopated beats and sang his sweet confessions. Even if circumstances had, on occasion, made it virtually impossible to contact one another for more than a couple of texts back and forth, you still had those personal reminders playing all through the day, on repeat. From voice notes to compositions to playlists painstakingly crafted for your ears only. Perhaps he had even made you fall in love through sound alone. But as your feelings grew, so did the silence. Until all you listened to was your alarm clock in the bleak, lethargic mornings.

» [a thought on an autumn night by JANNABI] « 0:00 ─〇───── 3:07 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

Another night without as much as a single emoji to tell you that he was thinking of you, even if just in passing. You had reached a new low - barely sleeping in the hopes that perhaps his insomnia would lead him to shoot you a message. If that were to happen, and you were to stay awake and ready, you could immediately text back and have a conversation, for once without a few hour long delays.

Alas, here you were, curled up into a feeble ball in your bed, supposedly not alone, but so incredibly lonely. What hurt was that you knew he was awake. You knew that he was in his studio, as he always seemed to be, even that time when he had said he missed you. It could have been a song lyric that he had accidentally sent you, you assumed, since as soon as you had sent your loving greetings back, he was long gone. That evening you could not believe you had to settle for the official photographs posted on the group's social media to feel like he was your significant other.

Today, you had not been so lucky. No Fan Café, No Universe, No Instagram, No Twitter... You stopped counting on him contacting you on his own. Of course, there was a time and a place for everything, but it hurt that you had neither in your own boyfriend's life, it seemed. You had tried to hint at this problem on the rare occasions that you could spend time together, but he appeared to be perfectly content with how things were, his perfect smile healing a portion of your fragile heart, only for it to crack and crumble as soon as you said your goodbyes and parted. He needed for you to be like a virtual assistant: there when he called on you, ready to help and to listen; silent and easily forgotten otherwise.

Your situation and state did not feel real as you began to doze off, not bothering to draw the curtains, as that meant at least the moon could embrace and comfort you. If a couple of months ago you would have fallen asleep with a smile on your lips, this hurting hour of the night you were fighting back a cry of disillusionment. What was even scarier was, when, a few hours later, you had awoken from a restless slumber and noticed a message from Hongjoong – judging from the preview it was an apology for ‘not being in touch as often’, ‘but producing is going well’, you could not find a single fibre of willingness to answer him. All the way until late evening, right before you went to bed and set your phone on do not disturb.

» [don't leave me, my love by colde] « 0:00 ─〇───── 4:45 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

As he stared in your direction, his hands clenching the medium-sized box behind his back until his knuckles turned white, Hongjoong was caught in a myriad of regrets. They seemed to enjoy rearing their heads only some time after their source could have been easily amended. Now, the best that could be done was to learn how to sew with actions, and hope that the crude string could turn to gold as time went by. Otherwise, the shared reality would fall apart at the seams.

There was no reason for you to forgive him, he realised that to his terror. With his work swallowing him whole, sleep schedule leaving him winded and the day rendering his ability to function outside of scheduled activities to be non-existent, he had become downright neglectful, both of himself, and even worse, you. You had no part in his mistakes when it came to planning, and yet he was making you suffer the consequences. After having spent months in united bliss, Hongjoong had to admit – he had gotten comfortable.

It was easy to assume that you were never going to leave his side. You were his angel. Kindhearted and understanding, he could never comprehend why and how you could be how you were. Utterly selfless, you were his confidence, his anchor and clarity. He never told you, but one of his favourite moments had been when, after work, you had surprised him with a visit to his studio. Sharing your favourite snacks and enjoying your favourite music, you two were immersed in your own universe. He enjoyed the moments you had made him forget about time. Until it caught up with him. But you were who you were, so you would understand him, right?

And that, you did. He was on cloud nine when you had said, in response to an allusion to a busier period, that you fully appreciated his unpredictable schedule, and that you wholeheartedly respected if, sometimes, he needed to fully prioritise work, so long as he communicated. Sounded like a dream, with which he had agreed on the spot. But as the ideas, the projects, the recordings kept on piling up, so did the number of times he would say ‘later’ when it came to reaching out to you. When was ‘later’?

» [i'd rather be alone by boodahki] « 0:00 ─〇───── 2:22 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

“Hey Joongie!” you exclaimed, waving shyly as your boyfriend opened the door to his studio. You had to knock quite a few times, much to your surprise. You had even informed him of your arrival and checked with him whether he would be free.

“Oh, Y/N. Hey… what are you doing here?” you stopped dead on your tracks, midway across the room, while Hongjoong had remained by the door, holding it open and appearing to be deep in thought, albeit a little lost.

“I… I sent you a text. And you responded, by the way. With a thumbs up.” You felt childish elaborating this. The canned coffee in your bag suddenly began to feel far too heavy.

Confusion was written all over his face, as he finally shut the door – an action which you swore had been done with severe hesitation. He wanted you to leave, didn’t he? You looked over the place where, evidently he had been borderline living who knew how long. The lights had been dimmed, while the computer screens were glaring like lighthouses into the musical ocean. A blanket was draped over one of the arm rests of the couch, and a pillow was thoroughly beaten up and stuck in one of its corners. So, he had been sleeping here too. In order words, the opposite of what you had been asking him to do for the past… however long.

You had lost count of the times you had the conversation that Hongjoong should take better care of himself. There had even been a couple of instances that you had called Seonghwa, fellow ATEEZ member and resident ‘mother’, to team up with what Hongjoong undoubtedly considered to be nagging. That was pretty much how you had bonded with the eldest, and formed the Hongjoong protection front. But now, as you stood in said man’s studio, you felt like you were treading on unwelcome territories, invading his safe space and making him unbelievably uncomfortable.

“What… are you… working on?” you whispered, a sheepish grin on your face as you let your boyfriend walk right past you. What if you had merely caught him at a bad time, and he was annoyed at something other than yourself? What if a computer program had crashed and there was no recovery file?

He plopped back down on the spinning office chair next to the equipment and set up, not bothering to invite you to take a seat anywhere around him. In the light coming from the screen, you noticed the dark circles, half hidden by a pair of glasses, weighing on his features, so deep that you could call them designer. He was pallid and haggard, clicking away while in a zoned-out state. He was attempting to be discreet, replacing all the open files with some others from the same applications, but you were not that ignorant to not notice practically all the loops, and instrumental tracks that were on Ableton change. You squinted in suspicion. So, what was he hiding? Only once you leaned in, and were within centimetres of him, did Hongjoong honour you with a response.

“A new track. Just, you know, some thoughts here and there. Nothing special.”

“When you say it’s nothing special, whatever it is ends up being a masterpiece, so I am very much intrigued! Also, why the secrets? I know you switched the tracks up. Not the best at being sneaky, I’ll be honest with you.” You responded, trying to keep yourself as neutral as possible in your delivery, even though it was a challenge to not get upset. You bit back your comment on him probably not wanting you in his space – you were not even asking for a hug, just… a softer look. The bare minimum.

“Uh…” caught off-guard, Hongjoong scrambled for excuses. But only found your desperation. He could not sustain your gaze, eyes darting back to his keyboard. He began to spin the rings on his fingers to distract himself, their intricate detail providing him with an escape. “Seriously, it is nothing. I was just… working, and caught up in a lot of things. You know how it is.”

So, it was on you now, apparently. Your apparent lack of understanding. Were you not patient enough? Were your basic human needs for affection and for a simple conversation too much? ‘You know’… oh yes. You knew that this was disrespectful. This had not been the first time you had been to the studio, in fact, the production team knew you well enough to leave you to your own devices in this room, and even let you in when Hongjoong was not here. But this was the first time you wanted to bolt and not look back, due to how scalding the coldness of your boyfriend’s approach was. Before your heart was to freeze over entirely, you tried one last time to bridge the gap:

“Is everything okay Joong? It’s just, well… I feel a bit distant lately, so I wanted to visit. If it is a bad time I understand and-”

“Yeah.” Hongjoong cut you off, not daring to look up at you. Your heart was beginning to shatter, and the sickly, suffocating silence that followed his response was doing nothing to soothe you.

“Yeah?” barely a whisper escaping your lips as your hands dropped to your side after keeping them intertwined, as if in prayer.

“A bad time. If you don’t mind.” you were not going to cry, you were not going to cry… you kept on repeating to yourself. It was not the first time you heard these words from him, quite frankly you encouraged open communication and setting of boundaries, but not when there already was an abyss forming between the two of you and you were desperately trying to salvage what was left. To no avail.

“Dang. Hah. Okay. Yeah. Sure. Fine. Well. See you. Then. I guess.” You stuttered out, in deep shock, and spun around to shoot out of the room. You could not bear to stay here any longer. The coffee was just going to have to deal with staying in your fridge. Or better, if you saw anyone you knew in the corridors, they could enjoy it with someone who cared.

The door slammed shut and woke Hongjoong up from his trance. He was exhausted, and could barely piece sentences together. The number of hours he had slept in the past week was clearly not enough. Your arrival was almost like that of a divine apparition: floated in, floated out. Blurry figure in his eyes. He could not properly register what you were saying, but figured that you were probably curious in what he had been up to. But Hongjoong could not say. He could not expose himself to you like that. Not when he had a grand masterplan in the making - pretty much the reason why he could not rest. He envisioned himself playing it to you on Valentine's Day, and as it finished, to be there, on one knee, waiting.

But now instead of continuing to work on it, he cursed at himself and began to search for his phone. Five calls and seven texts later, he pressed his face into his hands, the conversation that he had just dared to have with you screaming back at him in his head.

» [seasons by wave to earth] « 0:00 ─〇───── 4:16 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

Song: seasons – wave to earth

As you walked, your shoes letting out a clicking sound with every step you took, you could not believe that this could be the end. You had concluded that you had acted rashly. Maybe that meeting, and a calm conversation would have been enough to change things. You did not have to set such demands, with you and him hanging by a thread, your entire relationship, more than a year on the line. So what if he was to be colder than you wanted towards you. That was ‘just Hongjoong’, and if he had to be that way, so be it. You could learn to get used to it and appreciate it. Just like his night and day not having particular hours. You could just pretend that for that collection of moments, he was in a different time zone. It would be easy then. Had you just a little more patience.

The scarf you had gifted him without any specific occasion aside from the fact that it was getting cold, tightly wrapped around him with the material pushing up and covering most of his chin. How adorable he looked with his hair having been tousled by the winter wind, that was growing warmer as the spring was starting to fight for its turn. The closer you got to the man who still was fully in control of your thoughts and feelings, the harder it was to subdue your trepidation. If you could be a third person, acting in the role of an observer, you would cover your eyes, fast forward, skip the scene. You felt the greatest loneliness not when you were alone, but when you were with a person who you could not understand, and one who could not understand you.

Had you a little more patience, you could have dedicated more time to learning his habits and behaviours. If you had more time, what you did not have otherwise, to rearrange your mind palace into a cosy hut so he could visit, then you could be one of those couples who did not even need to speak to understand each other. Finish each other’s sentences, and whatnot. That was how things were supposed to be for happy couples, right?

But you were running on empty. With only one last hope in the form of Hongjoong, standing there, waiting for you in the middle of the park where you had had your first date. As you had told him to exactly a month ago. Not a second went by when you did not want to call him, but for the sake of proving to yourself that you could survive without him if you wanted to, you waited. Right up until the day that you had marked on the calendar hanging in your room.

You were grateful that it was sunny, otherwise the season would be far too similar to the turmoil you were concealing, and you were afraid that you would not be able to hold back. Just imagining Hongjoong hidden under an umbrella, in the same place as he was now, gazing in your direction, was enough to send your thoughts into a frenzied spin. Rain had always made you think of him. The only reason why you had come to love autumn. Rain was an extension of Hongjoong’s warm embrace, and made you think of times you had spent tucked away indoors, together, listening to song after song, enjoying each other’s presence.

There you were. Standing right in front of him, unreadable and untouchable. The young man was unsure of how to begin, even though he had spent many nights rehearsing, down to every gesture that he was supposed to make. But as soon as his eyes met yours, and spotted their magical glimmer, he could not breathe, let alone utter a single word.

» [gone gone gone (dream edit) by HONNE] « 0:00 ─〇───── 3:09 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

After two weeks of radio silence, followed by the meeting at the café, you had slammed the brakes so hard Hongjoong’s world came crashing down. It was at that moment he wholeheartedly realised just how horrifically he had treated you and disregarded your humanity. For being a captain and, supposedly, a responsible man, he had behaved like a walking trainwreck, and no clue as to how to even begin to pick up the pieces. He could only trace back the steps, and come to understand just how many times he had not realised that what you were doing, and choosing, you were doing for him.

You never played up your workload and did not let it creep into the time you had dedicated to Hongjoong. Similarly, you were not one to dump all the happenings of the day onto your boyfriend, out of the worry that he was already juggling too many things at once. There were some advantages to this – you were able to remain level-headed and reassess your climbing anxieties. But at the same time, was this not another form of a lie? To him, you were never busy, when in reality you were almost always overwhelmed and struggling to keep your head above the water. There was the overtime – your colleagues constantly offloading their tasks onto you, since you were the junior, and apparently that meant you could be exploited. There was the derogation – you had somehow become the target of the gossip chain, and it was commonplace to hear comments about you around the office, some half true, some so false they could barely even be associated with you. There was the spiral into which you sank in the times when you were left alone with your thoughts for far too long, the blame, the constant ache, the fear, the idea that you were not deserving of anything and that was why you kept on experiencing the things you did. Because that was where you were meant to be. But Hongjoong did not need to know all that, he had enough to worry about.

You had let all your concerns bubble over into a crisis, and something that might have been one conversation was now a make or break. If he cared to listen, if he cared enough to treat you like his significant other and not empty space, then you would promise, and act on said promise, to learn to be more open about your not so happy times too. But until then, you were to drive yourself mad and ignore Hongjoong’s attempts to contact you in the same fashion as he had done – always busy, always at work, always unavailable for him specifically.

If he had a questionable sleep schedule before, he had none now. Walking around like a zombie, he had grown so sluggish that he physically could not keep time to any music, and registered any conversation around him slower than the worst video game lag. Even Yeosang was impressed by how many times the members had to repeat what they had said to him. Hongjoong did not want this ‘us’ to fall apart, but was clueless as to how to fix anything, whether it was even possible. A misery that he could not shake, amplified by the visions of you in every object, every moment, every passer-by. It was always you, and yet he wordlessly crossed it out into a never. A villain, undeserving of your unconditional love. Could it be for the better-

“You’re bringing the mood down so low that I can almost see your cooking skill.”

“Huh?” Hongjoong raised his head to find Seonghwa standing in front of him. Recently he had been practically locked away in the studio – while before it had been maybe for half a day, now it could easily be upwards of two or three. The vending machine down the corridor became his trusty supporter.

Seonghwa looked less than impressed at the leader’s position – splayed out on the couch, the same hoodie enveloping his ghostly form for the fourth day now, eyes bloodshot. After giving you a spontaneous call and seeing you in a similar situation, though you were better at hiding it than Hongjoong, he put two and two together. Something had happened between the two of you, and that needed to be sorted out, pronto.

“So, your speech level stopped about there too?” Seonghwa crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow. He kicked Hongjoong’s shin, and commanded: “Get up, you sack of potatoes. You have a love to save.”

“How did you-”

“I know you, Joong. And you would not be playing the most sappy, sad songs on loop if you weren’t in a deep feels hole. Now, what did you do?”

“Hwa, I’m so stupid…” he wailed, covering his face with the sleeves of his hoodie that slipped over his hands. Squeezing his legs to his chest, he wanted to become as small as he could, or disappear so that he would no longer be an inconvenience for you. You would be so much happier without him.

“Tell me something I don’t know. What did you do?”

“They are gone… Hwa… they are gone, gone… so gone…”

“No yet they aren’t. I spoke to them this morning and wow, Hongjoong. You really screwed up. But they are a saint. So, instead of doing… this,” Seonghwa gestured towards his friend, “You should use those rusty gears in your noggin and do what you can actually do to get at least something back on track.”

Seonghwa sat down beside Hongjoong, leaning over to put his elbows on his knees and rest his head on his palms. There was a comical similarity between the captain and you. Both of you were so desperate to not burden one another, that you ended up hurting each other in the process. It seemed that sometimes, love could turn out to be too much and turn into a weapon. Without conversation, without sharing the soul there could never be a harmonious duet. For this piece to continue, Hongjoong needed to follow through and show he was willing to switch up the melody, destroy the discord and continue the musical journey together with you. Otherwise, Seonghwa’s friend would find himself as a solo artist in a few weeks’ time.

“Is there really anything I can do to be better?”

“Be there. How did you show them you were there before?”

“Well, I have the track in the works, but-”

“Yeah, don’t even think about proposing right now. That would just be downright manipulative. You have some issues to settle first. How?”

“…I think I have an idea.”

Funny how everything was to be decided on Valentine's Day.

» [we go down together by dove cameron, khalid] « 0:00 ─〇───── 3:04 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

“Hi.” He mumbled airily, attempting to quietly clear his throat. The lump that had lodged itself in it, the jumble of emotion and nervousness, remained motionless.

“Hi.” You mirrored, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your coat, glancing off to the side. It was too much for you to keep the eye contact if you were to remain standing.

Two people on the verge of breaking. Fumbling for a way to rewind, and repeat the path that they had traversed together, avoiding the pitfalls. Bold to assume that either of you knew what the future would hold, making promises that you could not keep until they formed their own tragic symphony, haunting you into your and his isolation, respectively. This was why one fell in love, instead of rising above the clouds, proclaiming this to be their forever. Love was a thorned path that challenged vulnerability and the natural tendency of people to run and abandon. You were brave, braver than Hongjoong could ever be, giving him more chances than he ever deserved.

“So…”

“So?”

“I am…” he took a shallow breath, collecting himself. His eyes fluttered shut as he recalled his preparations and began.

“I am very, deeply, sorry. I know that no apology would ever be able to heal the hurt that I had inflicted upon you. And for that, I am sorry. I know that I am not able to turn back time and make the right decisions, and for that I am sorry. I know that I have, again and again, taken you for granted and your kindness was exploited by me, and for that I am sorry. I am sorry for ever making you think that you were not loved. I am sorry for not being there when you needed me most. I am sorry for not being enough and for not giving the bare minimum while you gave me the universe.”

You felt your legs grow weak as he spoke, and when he reached out with one hand to support you, you let him. Biting your lower lip, you attempted to stifle the building cry. Hongjoong searched for your eyes once again, leaning until he was only a few centimetres away. He dropped his volume to a whisper, and let his hand travel to yours, fingers intertwining.

“I am so unbelievably grateful for you giving me this opportunity to even see you again… even though I don’t think I deserve it one bit after how I had made you feel. I… I lost the rhythm. I failed us and I failed what we had been fighting for. I made you carry the load when you already have so much to consider, so much to work so hard for. It is too much to ask, I know, but if we can stay as a ‘we’, it would be an honour to continue our composition. Through thick and thin. Come rain or some shine. Go down and go up together. I love you, and I would never dare to feel otherwise.”

Inhale. Exhale. You mentally counted the moments flying by.

“This is not much at all. And you do not have to accept it, but… remember our playlists? The ones that we would make together for any mood that existed?”

“Mhm…”

“Well, this… this selection is for us. Now. Right this moment. Reliving the days that we had spent too far from each other, presenting them in these songs. I am not too good with words, but I want to prove to you now, and in the future, if you let me, that I am here. And I am willing to keep on going, for you, with you.”

Hongjoong revealed the box behind him, and opened the lid to reveal a DVD, a player and small headphones – a set which he had showed you some time ago, a ‘trophy’ which he had found while thrifting. You took the DVD out of the box, reading what had been written on the disk in sharpie.

I really love you but I’m not good with words so here you go

He helped you put the headphones on, and guided you to a nearby bench, and patiently waited as you listened to each track in the collection. He watched for any reaction from you, concern growing as you remained motionless.

Until the last song. Abruptly, you rushed to grab the player, and hit the rewind button until you were at the beginning of the song again, and closed your eyes. Soon enough, you did the same thing again. And once more. When you felt Hongjoong’s hand touching yours, in an attempt to awaken you from your daydream, you opened your eyes and broke into a bittersweet grin, clicking pause. Finally, an understanding between you. You scooted closer to him, and tilted your head until it was against his shoulder, and sighed.

“I don’t want this song to end, Hongjoong.”

“Neither do I.”

“You better keep it going, music man.”

“Only with you as co-producer. Rewind.” He motioned a circle with the index finger of his free hand, and you slapped it playfully with your own.

“And remix.”

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 28/04/2024

SNES Mini Circulation

Season 2 Featured on: Now That's What I Call Quality!

Ripped by livvy94

With all the chaos and layers SiIvaGunner rips can often be under, its nice to cover something relatively "normal" for a change. There's all kinds of rips on the channel for all kinds of people, but universal appeal is not to be dismissed - SNES Mini Circulation is the kind of tribute that any fan of video games is bound to appreciate.

Well, I say that, but there is of course the elephant in the room - I'm sure not everybody you send this rip to will be aware of what Renai Circulation even is. And its honestly a bit of a shame its taken me this long to feature the song on the blog - like what I wrote about All Star in Shrek Days -Onions Ver.-, Renai Circulation is one of the big titans of mashups, perhaps not to the same mainstream extent as All Star has been, yet prominently althesame. I'm not sure if there's a proper meme-rooted reason for said frequency in use, other than it being a genuinely excellent song debuting as NicoNico Douga was steadily growing in popularity. Moreso than even YouTube, the platform lives and thrives on creativity and remixing, and I can only presume that the explosive popularity of said remixes bled over into YouTube - the end result, thus, being mashup videos like Everybody's Circulation sitting at 30 million views on the platform.

Truthfully, I don't know where this "everybody's" titling came from, but it too has been a part of the online mashup culture that SiIvaGunner took on, seen mainly in Season 1 rips like Everybody's Special Course - the "meme medleys", using a big party of sources to the tune of a recognizable core song. In that sense, then, SNES Mini Circulation is like a love letter in two different ways - a tribute to a huge pillar to the very mashup community SiIvaGunner owes its foundation to, and of course, to the part of the rip that's right there on the tin - The Super Nintendo, and SNES Mini console!

Livvy94 is one of those rippers that's been active since near the channel's beginnings, from midway through Season 1 to today - and both off the channel and on her own time, she specializes in Super Nintendo music in particular. I can only imagine how exciting the SNES Mini's release must've been for her as someone who's focused so specifically on the console for long beforehand - I can absolutely see where the wish to celebrate it would've come from! And really, beyond the fun Renai Circulation tribute, that is what SNES Mini Circulation is here to do - to celebrate the Super Nintendo, and in turn the vast variety of soundscapes under its roof. We don't get every game on the SNES Mini represented here, sure, but Renai Circulation also isn't an endless song - and I'm glad Livvy94 chose to ration out the per-game segments more deliberately rather than trying to cram in each game possible in it. Well, I say that, but we do also get a fun bonus appearance of Chrono Trigger at 2:26, whose bizarre absence from the mini console was a big talking point back before release.

But that leads into what's probably the main reason I love SNES Mini Circulation so much, all these years later - its just plain fun! That Chrono Trigger gag is placed right after where Renai Circulation uses a rewinding sound effect, playing off of Chrono Trigger using time travel, and the section itself pokes fun at Nintendo "forgetting" to include the game. Right before this, the rip is using the soundscape of Kirby Super Star, althewhile using footage from yet another historical relic of YouTube - the very first episode of Game Grumps, wherein the grumps played that very game. Little gags like that are pretty easy to spot, of course, I love when rip visuals are played with for comedic effect a la Goodbye to Love - but even with that aside, the energy the whole rip has is just downright FUN. Livvy94 displays proficiency with so many different styles of SNES arranging, from the Mega Man X sound I gushed about back in Guardian of the Ride Chasers to the more mellow sounds that made me fall in love with rips like Sog-Gee Ambiance, yet the rip transitions in and out of each section absolutely effortlessly.

Like, I find these "one-person fusion collabs" a la Staff Roll (SM64) Fusion to be incredibly impressive already, but SNES Mini Circulation just at once feels like it has so much fun and has so much confidence. For instance, near the end of the rip, EarthBound is revisited for a short Runaway Five performance, after the game had already being featured at the start of the rip, but its placed so perfectly to build up to the fast-paced ending, again a tribute to Everybody's Circulation, that it never stuck out as odd or noteworthy to me until the very moment I started writing this paragraph. Livvy94 pulls the whole thing off with such finesse, all just to celebrate her favorite little grey box.

And yeah - I love that she was actually able to release SNES Mini Circulation day-and-date with the mini console releasing! As someone who followed its reveal and release way back in the day, it was a great cherry-on-top surprise to see. Livvy94's passion for the SNES is felt in every inch of this rip, and it makes for the best launch-day present the console could've ever asked for.

[doyeons]

top 3 frommy performances 🫶🏻💕

omgggg omg where do i even START... thank u for this i love talking abt frommy forever and always <3

so favorite of all time honestly might be their special halloween stage where they covered red light !! not only was it a glimpse into a different concept for them but it's also what rly made me want to learn abt them back in 2018 ^_^ i rmr listening to love bomb when it came out and i liked it but still didnt rly know about them and then i saw this and was like okayyyyy i think i need to actually get fully into them now. like immediately

another fave is their now cover.. the performance that i came back to over and over again after the frommy drought of 2020... not only did it keep me going when the floverbrain was fully taking over but also. women in suits <3

and lastly their 2022 gayo daejeon performance of dm + rewind !! had a bit of a dip where i stopped keeping up w/ frommy stuff in 2022 but hearing rewind and seeing perfs of it brought me back soooo hard and i think of this stage as just like. everything i wanted & more from a special end-of-year stage for them <3

ok and then some honorable mentions bc i have to be annoying and mention more than 3: these two performances of feel good !! there's nothing crazy abt them and honestly the quality sucks but they stick out to me as the feel good perfs where seoyeon finally got to partake 🥹 also their red flavor cover (frommyvelvet!!), this love rumpumpum perf with seoyeon's super long ending fairy, their 2018 mama perf (gorgeous & pink), their first attitude perf bc i remember literally feeling insane and dizzy after watching it, aaaand the attitude remix stage bc i looove the outfits <3

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (23-29 Jun 2024)

what a fucking week, lads (gn)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰 "How to Raise a Kraken in Your Bathtub" (P. Djèlí Clark) - 2024 Locus Award winning short story - 'fuck around and find out' with 19thC colonialism!

🥰 there's a trick with a knife (i'm learning to do) (mellyflori) - 65K, Kaysanova modern AU - really good enemies-to-lovers that digs in to why they clash at first and the very organic way that turns around. tbh this could easily be original fic [positive] as except for J/N it's all OCs, and J/N's characterizations are not OOC but are also perfectly standalone

🥰 Outgrow the shoes of expectations (destinationtoast) - 62K, solid canon-divergent Keeley/Roy/Jamie fic [structured more as K/R opening the relationship up to J but ends in such a way that a true polycule is not unreasonable]

💖💖 +222K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

Aspirations (neapeaikea) - 9-1-1: Buck/Tommy, 11K - very cute, fun teacher AU

Three Weddings and a Funeral (materialism, sparklyslug) - Stranger Things: Steddie, 35K - 2nd entry in the lovely Let us Dwell in Fair Ithilien and There Make a Garden series - four vingettes of Steve and Eddie before and after their second chance

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Thousandaires - s1, e3

Game Changer - s4, e9-10

Make Some Noise - s3, e1

Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Doctor Who - s1 (series 14), e8

D20: Never Stop Blowing Up - "Be Kind, Rewind" (s22, e1)

D20: Adventuring Party - "Yoshi Thicc" (s17, e1)

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

⭐99% Invisible - The Power Broker #06: Mike Schur

Consider This - Fifteen years after his death, Michael Jackson's legacy remains complicated

⭐ What Next: TBD - Is Your Phone Tracking Your Driving?

Re: Dracula - June 24: Dreadful Thing of Night

Re: Dracula - June 25: Dead or Asleep

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Will they or won't they? Unpacking TV's eternal question

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - In The Heart Of NYC, A Refuge For Birds

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Grizzly Adams: America’s Mythic Mountain Man

WikiHole - Girl Dinner (with Greta Titelman, Sam Taggart and Zach Noe Towers

Dinner’s on Me - Margaret Cho

99% Invisible - Backfired: The Vaping Wars

It's Been a Minute - Can't stop the (classical) music

⭐ Vibe Check - She Ain't No Diva

Dinner’s on Me - Joel Kim Booster

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Roop Kund

Ologies - Puffinology (PUFFINS) with Jill Taylor

Wild Card - Lena Waithe's religion is 'The Wizard of Oz'

Wild Card - Lena Waithe's relationship goals + Taylor Tomlinson's childhood idol (Wild Card+)

⭐ Throughline - Pop Music's First Black Stars

Short Wave - Move Over Norse Mythology, There's A New Loki In Town — A Dinosaur

It's Been a Minute - Girl, that remix, so healing; plus, gay vampires

What Next: TBD - Why Extreme Weather Keeps Surprising You

Dear Prudence - My In-Laws Disrespected My Daughter, So I Kicked Them Out. Help!

Endless Thread - This is Not a Pyramid Scheme

⭐ Strong Songs - "Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen

If Books Could Kill - Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

Re: Dracula - June 29: Tonight is Mine

Hit Parade - The Bridge: Center of the “World”

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

The Beach Boys Radio • Chill

Shout-Out Party Hits

Chicago Radio • Upbeat

Charli XCX

Fleetwood Mac

[scabopolis]

It has been a mighty, mighty, minute since I've tried to host a fic writing challenge, but why not??? What's old is new again, and yadda yadda yadda. Announcing a new challenge: The Logan & Veronica: New Year, New Fic Writing Fest!

We’ll start writing in the first month of the year, and then posting the first week of February. New year! New fic! 

Posting Dates: Wednesday, February 1, 2023 through Tuesday, February 7, 2023

Fic! Fan art! Manips! Playlists! Headcanons! Lists of fic recommendations! We want it all!

To kickoff the first year of this challenge, I thought it'd be fun if we take inspiration from some of the fandom's greatest hits, that is, fics with the most amount of kudos over on AO3.

Please note: I have picked key elements of some of the most kudos'd fics EVER (according to AO3) to inspire these prompts. If you want to do an actual, explicit remix of one of these fics, it's fandom best practice to reach out to the author in advance. Any questions about that distinction? Just send me an ask or a message!

Most importantly: tag everything #2023 LV New Year in the first five tags so all those who love these two idiots can see and track the content. You can also post in the 2023 LV New Year challenge category on AO3.

No time to create? Boy, do I have a suggestion for you! Sometimes fics considered "old" by the fandom can drop off the radar. Why not take the time this week to dole out kudos and/or comments to some older but much loved fics?

Canon divergence, fics inspired by universes you've already created, long one-shots, new multichapters that incorporate each plot - all fic writing formats that are completely on the table!

Day 1: Market Fic - inspired by "A Strange New Story Every Time" by gyzym - Farmer's market? Specialty food store? Mini-market? So many markets...so many possibilities.

Day 2: Non-Linear Storytelling - inspired by "Slipstream" by @cheshirecatstrut. - Any way of telling a story where the events are not told in complete chronological order.

Day 3: Hurt/Comfort and/or Domesticity inspired by "With Me" by @bryrosea and "Same Old Song" by @susanmichelin - You can treat these as two separate prompts, or, as both of these fics do in an expert manner, incorporate them together

Day 4: Epistolary inspired by "Three Emails Sent Across Continents (And Possible Five Text Messages)" by Care and "Wingspan" by @theawkwardterrier - Journals, letters, texts, etc. They can provide the full text or simply feature as one component.

Day 5: Lawyer!Veronica inspired by "A Better Claim" by @best-laid-plaids - She spent all that time and energy on getting that degree - it seems a shame we fic writers don't put it to good use!

Day 6: "I love a man in uniform" inspired by "Metal Under Tension" by @machawicket - Not saying it has to be a military uniform...though that option is, of course, there.

Day 7: s1 canon fix-it or s1 canon divergence inspired by "Sometimes" by @mysilverylining and "Time, Make it Go Faster or Just Rewind" by @kmd0107 - We're all in agreement that s1 is the most complete season of this show, correct? That doesn't mean that the what-if possibilities are in any way limited, though!

So, What are the rules? There aren't really any, but in summation:

Look at the prompts for each day.

Post them on tumblr or AO3.

Tag them (on Tumblr and/or AO3) with #2023 LV New Year and/or add to the AO3 collection.

So, 2! 4! 6! 8! reblog this post and then create! 

[a-non-ymouswriter]

Alright, let's talk Rewind (or my MCYT fics)

i think it's time to finally talk about rewind/remix.

or generally, just my mcyt fics in general.

it's been a while since i updated any of them and trust me, i am very much FILLED WITH GUILT over not updating or continuing them- problem is; i just don't have any motivation in them at the moment. my interest and motivation for them have waned, wilted and withered. the three unfortunate ws that arent wins.

i dont want to say i abandoned them, i hate the thought of abandoning ANY STORY and i like the thought of getting back to them at some point. maybe my motivation will come back, it has in the past and that's a great hope to have.

however i am aware that these stories have been gathering dust and it's possible that motivation will never come back and i hate that.

i know partially why i'm no longer interested? partially- it mainly started with techno's death. it just didn't feel the same anymore now that cc!techno was gone, but if things went differently then maybe i could've continued just as normal. but i'm pretty sure my motivation took a great hit when techno died.

another great hit to my motivation is the whole... thing with cc!dream??? WHICH I WILL NEVER EVEN POKE ABOUT, YOU CANNOT MAKE ME, I WILL IGNORE EVERY ATTEMPT. it felt weird writing about c!dream even though i should REALLY be able to separate the two, cc!s are different from fictional c!s and all that but for some reason i just don't feel too comfy writing him right now.

and since my main series of rewind and remix is MAINLY RELATED TO DREAM- you can see my problem here.

the dream smp is done, over, there is no season 2 and my interest in this fandom is only tethered by the occasional fanfic that i stumble upon and the numerous fanarts that come and go. that interest isn't enough to motivate my writing.

a funny thought though, is that i think i spent a LOT of motivation and kind of burnt myself out in the future back when i was DAILY UPDATING REWIND- like i don't know if you readers remember but i was updating DAILY on rewind. every day, FOR ALMOST A MONTH- something that might never happen again really and i'm still kind of proud of that.

but i'm pretty sure it was very unhealthy of me to do daily updates the way i did- it took A POWER OUTAGE to make me stop doing daily updates and i remember STRESSING OVER NOT UPDATING while the power was out. so yeah, i'm pretty sure i set myself up for failure there XD

but i'm so glad that i was able to at least finish rewind. my very first story that i completed. unfortunately i'm not too confident about finishing the rest of the series (and some other fics).

a friend of mine actually suggested something that i've been thinking about from time to time; i give you guys the outline of what COULD have happened. what i was planning on writing and then completing my works.

it sounds like a good idea but i didn't want to let you guys down in just, giving up like that. but nowadays, it sounds like a better and better alternative than to just wait for my motivation and interest to come back. it's almost been a year already for wishes and family, and remix, i managed to update stream labs a few months ago so that's hopeful but the others...

okay, i'm going to give YOU GUYS the choice here. i'll tell the ao3 readers about it as an important update author's note, but im going to make a poll about this choice soon and i'll even pin it on my tumblr.

it'll last- maybe two weeks? but yeah, it's the least i can do to see what you guys want.

EDIT: polls apparently only last a week, so it'll be up a week.

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Rewind, Remix, & Replay Jay & Kim 6x6

You can read the rest of the series here

You guys have no idea how excited I was to write this chapter!!! The whole thing came together in just over an hour. Things are going to start getting some momentum and some more stuff is going to get aired out. 

Jay had been over at Haliey's checking up on her. After hearing her in the interrogation room he knew his partner shouldn’t be alone. He had been there trying unsuccessfully to get her to talk to him about it for over an hour. He was finishing up his second beer sitting at her island in the kitchen when she got up to answer the knock on her door.

He recognizes the voice and when he rounds the corner, he sees Ruzek standing practically on top of Haliey. The way he is in her space is intimate. Jay feels anger clench in his chest. After the way, he talked to Kim about their inter-team relationship, and he was messing around with Haliey. Where did he get off?

Jay knew the moment Ruzek saw him. The man immediately took a few steps back and his gaze shot away from Haliey guiltily. “It’s not what it looks like.” Jay scoffs- this is the guy Kim was so mad about him punching? This self-righteous hypocrite, who couldn’t even own up to his relationship? It was pathetic.

“Smart, nothing good comes from workplace relationships.” The comment was sarcastic and bitter. He goes back into the kitchen to grab his jacket. He is yanking it on and heading back out the door before he says or does something he will regret- or makes Kim mad at him again. He hears Haliey call his name as he leaves the door swing closed behind him. Upton was his partner if nothing else then she should have told him. He knew the familiarity they were showing- they had been together for a while.

Jay closes Kim’s apartment door a little too harshly. She takes that to mean that Haliey hadn’t been receptive to his pep talk. “Is Hailey, okay?” Kim mutes the TV as Jay walks into the living room.

“Oh, I’d say so.” Kim’s eyebrows furrow together at his angry tone as he takes off his jacket and throws it over the back of the recliner. Jay puts his hands on his hips as he levels her with a straight stare. “Ruzek and her are together.” Jay’s blue gaze watched her intently for any reactions. Kim had been with Ruzek and she was devastated after she had felt forced to end things. He knew she had held on much longer than she had appeared to. If his confrontation with Adam had caused so much emotion in her, he could only imagine how she would feel when she found out he was screwing around with her friend. Maybe she would react like Ruzek had.

Jay didn’t see any emotions filter across her face. Just the furrow of her eyebrows scrunched together. “Yeah, I know.” Her simple statement makes his frustration rise and he isn’t sure why.

“You know?” He repeats searching her warm brown eyes, “For how long?” Kim hums in thought pressing her lips together.

“Um, the last few weeks, maybe a month.” Her smile turns rye and there is a slight shake of her head as she plays with the ends of the blanket on her lap. “Adam isn’t as discreet as he thinks he is. You think he would have learned better by now.”

“And it doesn’t bother you?” His tone is low and thick with an emotion she can’t quite name. Kim tries to figure out why he is so upset. Was it the fact that Hailey hadn’t told him or maybe the comments Adam had made after finding out they were together and then subsequently doing the same thing he had shamed them for?

“No, why would it?” Jay crosses his arms across his chest. The change in demeanor catches Kim’s notice. It wasn’t like Jay to beat around the bush and it was slightly off-putting trying to guess what he was thinking.

“Well, you were mad at me for a few days after I punched Adam.” Kim’s mouth parts in the realization of what Jay had been getting at. And the emotion that she hadn’t been able to place- jealousy. The miscommunication of what had happened the night Jay had decked Adam for his out-of-pocket comment. Kim throws the blanket off her lap and closes the distance between them.

“Jay I wasn’t mad at you,” He scoffed giving her a disbelieving look, “I wasn’t. Hey, Jay listen to me. Adam deserved what he got. Honestly, I was impressed you lasted as long as you did, to be honest. The comments were getting to me too.”

“Then why were you-?” Kim sighs stalling her hands that were absently rubbing up and down his arms. Her gaze fell to their feet guiltily. Voight had been pissed about what she had done but he had kept it quiet. Nobody had found out that she had lied and then hidden the fact that Kendra had been a witness to try to save herself at the expense of the case. Kim hadn’t told Jay because she had been so ashamed and hadn’t wanted Jay to think less of her or her ability to do her job.

“The ride along,” She huffed out a sigh, “I lied about Kendra being in the car. I knew she might have witnessed the shooting. Voight threatened to bury me if I ever did anything like that again. I know I deserved it-but it was hard to hear.” Kim swallowed hard. She still hadn’t come to terms with her stupid decision yet. “I wasn’t mad at you. I was mad at myself- and embarrassed, ashamed, and I felt guilty.” Tears burned at the back of her eyes as she blinked forcing them away. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think of me differently. That I wasn’t a good cop.”

“Baby,” His voice was soft, and he cupped her jaw forcing her head up. Her watery brown eyes meet his. “I don’t think that. Mistakes are part of the job. It happens and it will again. That is why you have to rely on your team. Rely on me.” He wipes away the tear that drips down her cheek with his calloused thumb.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, ya know.” She turns her head to kiss his palm, her brown eyes locked with his blue ones. “I love you, Jay.” His posture instantly relaxes the tension melting from his body. The words that had been stuck in his throat for months slipped so easily from her lips. It lights his chest with a pleasant warmth a smile taking over his face.

“I love you too, Kim.”

[cornflowerbluewrites]

Helloo, so like I don’t use reddit often because I have no idea how it works but I’ve read your work “Rewind, Remix, Retry, Redo” (and no amount of words can describe how much I love that fic and your writing style is to absolutely die for, and I can talk about it for hours honestly) and I was wondering if you were going to update soon? Not that i want you to rush or anything, take your time of course but I’m just curious =D Anywho, I don’t know if you’re gonna read this or not but take care <3

Hello! I’m so happy you’re enjoying g my story so far. With that being said, I do ask that people not ask me about fic updates because they make me feel bad and guilty about not updating the fic, and those feelings start to become associated with the fic itself and it creates this negative feedback loop for me every time I try to work on the fic, which causes updates to be even slower or (as it is with one fic) might lead to me considering abandoning it entirely because it’s not fun for me anymore to work on it. I’m not there yet with RRRR, but like, I am a busy person in general and feeling guilty about not updating something I do in my free time for fun isn’t a position I want to be in.

Also! I’m working on other fics right now! And I’m having fun with them! Part of what keeps writing long fics fun for me is that I don’t lock myself into one fic until it’s finished, because inevitably I get bored or burnt out. By letting myself have a bit of freedom on what I work on, I give myself room to have passion when I sit down to work on it, and I really do think the passion and my own enjoyment for my fics does come through.

Lastly, and not that this is necessarily information that anyone is entitled to but instead is something I am choosing to share, I’m giving myself a bit of a mental health break from writing after I finish a few things up. I was stressing myself out over how much I had to do the other day and I realized that some of the things I was classifying as ‘needs to get done’ were fic updates, and that I was genuinely very stressed about the updates. So I’m going to be kind to myself and take a bit of time to focus on some other things and recharge my battery for a bit!

All this to say, long story short, I will update it again, it’s one of the fics I think about constantly and gush about to my friends, I love RRRR and I want to see it completed just as much as, if not more than, my readers. But I also can’t tell you when I’m going to update next, because if I give you a timeline, I promise you I won’t keep it, lol!

[bambyyves]

BRAT CHARLI XCX REVIEW!!!!!🔫🔫🔫

okayyyy so hi i know i have like no followers but i wanna try to review this album because i have alotttf of thoughts and i really wanna just air them out while theyre still fresh.

so my overall thoughts, its amazing. some of her best work since 2019's charli (i didnt love hifn and crash was just subpar in my mind). i love the raw vulnerability of the lyrics. and i love how the harsh electronic beats and the very poetic almost stream of conciseness lyrics compliment each other. and songs like club classics and talk talk are pure pop perfection. like talk talk is a summer anthem and club classics ive had on repeat since it dropped!!!!

and this goes into my complaints with the record. i just feel like theres a problem with the album NOT being a dance pop album like it was promoted to be. the lead up to this album was all about how this is a rave album and it is not. theres rave moments but most of it is very vulnerable poetry over electro beats. and on a couple songs i just dont think this works. for example, rewind. theres parts of the song that i live for, but i wish it was more like POP! like i understand and relate to the lyrics but with this pc music bubble gum bass instrumental i just dont get it. and also b2b i just never loved this song. the repetitiveness doesnt work in this song like @ all! and it makes it more disappointing how charli is the queen of repetitive hooks. it just doesnt have any substance to it as a song.

another thing i dislike its this version of 365😭😭 i like the idea of the 360 instrumental. but the outro is very underwhelming in my opinion. idk if its just not enough bass or anything but its just kinda flat as a song. the easyfun remix is really good but i hate shygirl

but after all that hating lets get into the positives!!!!! this is some of charlis best production. again talk talk is amazing but also everything is romantic is so amazingly produced with the string sections and beats and then that bridge with the vocal effects. WHICH IS ANOTHER THING I NOTICED, the way her producers edit her vocals throughout the album is so cool. like club classics being built around vocal loops i just nerd out on shit like that. 360 and mean girls being love letters to the chloe cherrys and julia foxes of the world i think is very sweet and of the time. although im not a fan of mean girls EXTREMELY literal lyrics, which im aware is the purpose but idk i dont feel it. i love girl, so confusing's beat drop (wish they did that with 365 but WHATEVERRR) and i love how it talks about having disagreements with another female artist without it being petty beef. and i have a problem with her fandom pitting her and other female artists together to be bitchy and fighting like its baddies. which is also a theme is sympathy is a knife with the "i hope i dont see her at my boyfriend's show" which can be about taylor or twigs.

either way charli doesnt have to be besties with these women but i think its so childish how charli's fans have created this like shade room type reaction to stuff like this. but that is a different convo for a different day.

i think about it all the time is a total highlight for me. its such an adorable song about a topic soo rarely touched in pop music. and that is the biggest positive to this album, it touches on things you dont see in pop music and does it in a very stripped way.

so now we get to so i. now we have gotten plenty of sophie tributes in the past couple years. and i think this is the most sincere of those. since charli was SOO close to sophie i think this is very loving and honest. and isnt a song about the image of sophie but the actual experience of being a close friend of her. so i give charli props for being so honest with the way shes expressing grief.

so final thoughts. i think this is one of the strongest and most unique pop albums in the last like 5 years. like i cant think of another pop album quite like this and i really enjoy it. and i honestly think it will grow on me more with more listens.

CURRENT RATING: 7.5/10

~xx yves

[ninelivesastrology]

My top 5 Ariana Grande songs

5.

She's SO wrong for just doing Forever Boy. I want this one rerecorded. Her verse is so fun, too.

4.

Kind of shook that Ariana is processing the taste of her own medicine. I'm convinced the little breath she takes at the beginning is one that tells you she was crying. This one has one of my favorite bridges from her and it's kind of a mantra? It's certainly abstract for her and that's why it's top 5.

Won't break, can't shake

This fate, rewrite

Deep breaths, tight chest

Life, death, rewind

3.

When thank u, next dropped, I kept coming back to this one. Truly slept on. Like man, I don't know what else to say about it. Her high notes just translate to the delirium that comes with disillusionment, the self-blame. Chef's kiss.

2.

FEATURING MAC MILLER.

I became a fan during the Dangerous Woman era. While Into You gets heralded, sometimes you just want a chilled out vibe. This is really a perfect remix that does not get its flowers from her fanbase. I love The Way, but for me, this one does it. I love the production of this remix because it really honors the chorus while not overwhelming Ariana's vocals. By the time Mac Miller jumps in, you're already taken for a ride. Mac drizzles his talent over this remix like honey and does it in such an effortless way that compliments the song, 100% understood the assignment (LOOKING AT YOU J. COLE). He lets you know he's still consistent. Every time I would play this one, I would look forward to his first. Mac Miller is the only white rapper to ever rap without sounding like a try-hard. He sounds so flirty and cheeky on this and it really proves why they were such a good magical duo. RIP.

1.

First, the production on this one is sooooo smooth that I have to start it ovee, I'm so mad she didn't make it a single. She really cruises on this one from the moment the beat drops. It's so dreamy and full of infatuation, but grounded. The first verse tickles me as a Mercurial because she's listing off all these pleasant activities that feel so personal to her, but relatable to everyone else. The similes in the second verse are so unique and then her background vocals are perfectly layered and you really sink into the song. Ariana isn't belting on this one which feels like a departure from her form, but it works. I've had this one on repeat, if someone only knows her singles, I'm gonna suggest this one. Definitely belongs on a night ride playlist for the Passenger Seat Princesses. I wish Mac Miller was on this one. And Nonna's outro is AHHHFJRJRHG.

[deltaruminations]

chapter 3 secret boss concept because why not. cassette tape under asriel’s bed or VHS taping of a music video from like MTV or whatever.

if memoryhead has any value for prediction (BIG “if”) and is moving clockwise from jevil face (also big assumption based on very little data), then the next SB is represented by this face, which looks vaguely like it could be modeled after an analogue tape if you squint hard enough lol

thematic relationship to abandonment: outmoding of both analogue formats and popular musical styles

individual “freedom” conflict: the tape can only play what’s already on it, over and over; can’t produce anything new. basically a one-hit-wonder trying but unable to recreate their prior success. just remixing their one big hit over and over until it loses any real meaning

thematic relationship to kris: entrapment via endless looping. also maybe something about limitations in “voice”/self-expression

manifestation: washed-up pop singer, 80s/90s aesthetic. good opportunity for a first secret girlboss perhaps? let’s call her “casey” lol. runny mascara for the “gaster eyes” motif. we initially meet her as she works for peanuts as a sound tech across the various TV show sets

speech quirk: sings/rhymes everything. alternatively maybe she can only form sentences out of the lyrics from her song. that would be hard to execute probably but it’s a fun idea

soul mode: purple. fucked up nightmare rhythm game time baybee. rewind and fast-forward mechanics

carnival attraction: soundstage. maybe more of a “music festival” vibe than traveling carnival or county fair

armor given: hair ribbon or maybe fist wraps made of magnetic tape. gives the trait “write protection”

weapon given: no idea LOL i feel like it needs to be a sword of some kind for kris. uhhh. MakhairaPhone (“This outdated blade makes a statement — a LOUD one.”). WalkmanZashi. idk lol