#reminds me of those like. children's games where you have to match the blocks up to the right shapes in the wooden stand.

[likesummerrainn]

▢ ◯

[princessphilly]

Hockey Fic Exchange: Second Chance in Chicago

This is for the @hockeynetwork​ winter gift exchange. I was matched with my friend, @texanstarslove​ and it was relatively easy to give her what she wanted. 

Title: Second Chance in Chicago

Player: Jonathan Toews

Genre: Angst, smut

Word count: 6410 words

 March 2007

“Wouldja look at that? There’s the future NHL star, looking like the dork he is.”

Lizzie stuck out her tongue as Rachel announced the presence of the asshole himself, Jonathan Toews. They were all sophomores at UND but he had gotten drafted third overall by the Chicago Blackhawks last year. Hockey ruled UND so the team already had a high profile. But this year’s team looked like it would do some damage in the tournament so all eyes were really on them.

Tonight, Lizzie and her friends had decided to go to a frat party at the Beta house. It was a cold early March Thursday night but she had been in the mood to party. Unfortunately, the party had been invaded by the hockey team.

Jonathan grinned, his deep brown eyes sparkling like he had already pregamed. “Hey ladies,” he greeted before grabbing Lizzie and giving her a hug.

“Ew!”

Lizzie pushed Jonathan away. He definitely had pregamed, he smelled like good old Vladimir vodka. He was going to have a fucking hangover tomorrow.

Jonathan pouted. “I thought we were friends, Lizzie,” he exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around Lizzie again

“When did you think that?”

Rachel and Bethany snickered. It was a bit of a running joke, this animosity between Lizzie and Tazer. No one quite knew how it really started except it had been a freshman year hook up that ended bad. At least, that was the rumor. Ever since, Lizzie couldn’t stand Jonathan and Jonathan did every thing possible to needle her.

Lizzie flipped her hair over her shoulder before elbowing Jonathan in the ribs. Giving him an angelic smile, she ordered, “Don’t touch me.”

Being the drunken asshole he was at the moment, Jonathan leaned down and murmured in her ear, “You didn’t say that last weekend.”

“Ugh!”

Lizzie pushed Jonathan away before stomping towards the keg. Jonathan shrugged as TJ and some of the other hockey players came in. She was able to avoid him for the rest of the night and even flirted with a couple of junior guys she hadn’t met. Of course, as soon as she went to get a breather from the hot party, Jonathan was already outside.

Shivering, Lizzie huddled close to the door, planning to ignore Toews. There had been a snowstorm the other day and there was a good ten inches of snow on the ground.  

“Supposed to snow again tomorrow.”

Lizzie let out a loud sigh. Of course, he couldn’t respect her silent plea to be left alone. “This is North Dakota. It’s always snowing.”

Turning to her left, Lizzie looked at Jonathan. For once, he didn’t have his cocky, self-assured, ‘I’m the one in complete charge’ look on his face. He looked slightly pensive and a bit unsure. “Here, have my hoodie.”

“I don’t-,” Lizzie started to say but she relented as Jonathan put his hoodie over her head, pulling it down. She was cold as fuck, shivering in just a short-sleeved shirt and her jeans. “Thank you,” she murmured.

“You’re welcome.”

They stood there for several moments, breath turning into puffs of icicles before Jonathan finally broke the ice. “Ridley, really?”

“Oh, you know him?” Lizzie tensed, UND wasn’t as big as other schools but she could at least have found someone that Jonathan didn’t already know. But then, hockey ruled here and he knew more people than her so yeah, just her fucking luck.

“He’s cool.” Jonathan shrugged, suddenly feeling nervous as fuck. It really wasn’t his area to talk, he didn’t really want to be a cock-block, but fuck it. “He’s not an asshole or anything. But we both know that’s not who you really want.”

“Oh really? Who told you what I really want?”

He hadn’t really planned to do it now; Jonathan had planned to go for it next month. But he already had told coach and his teammates that he was going pro after this season, so he might as well do it. “We have unfinished business, Elizabeth.”

Lizzie froze at Jonathan’s use of her full name.  He was the only one here at UND who ever used her full name. It brought back memories, those first weeks of spring semester of freshman year. Memories of doing things that would have had Momma reaching for her rosary and Papa yanking her out of UND to go into a convent. She bit out, “No, we don’t.”

“So, that’s why you called me last Saturday, asking me to come over after the game?”

Lizzie rolled her eyes. “I was drunk,” she very primly replied, staring at her nails. She thought to herself, ‘I need a manicure.’

“Then last weekend, you came over and you definitely weren’t drunk.”

Lizzie shrugged, pretending she didn’t hear what Jonathan said. She didn’t want to admit the truth; Jonathan made her nervous. She was 19 and every time she was with him, she felt like this could be something that could be forever. But Lizzie had plans; she was planning to go east for law school, get out of North Dakota forever. This wasn’t the time to even think of settling down with anyone, especially not with Jonathan since he was going pro. Even though, her traitorous pussy reminded her, Jonathan made her cum better than anyone else and wasn’t scared to choke, bite, or spank her unlike other guys.

Jonathan growled, of course Lizzie would be acting obtuse. He wasn’t looking to settle down or anything serious, he was just about to turn 19 and about to go to Chicago in five and a half months to start his pro career. Jonathan did really like Lizzie a lot and wouldn’t be against putting a label on what was going on. Then, Lizzie got cold feet last year and had been stringing him along for over a year. It would be nice if Lizzie actually admitted that they had something going instead of being nasty to his face but fucking with him late at night.

“Okay, since you don’t want to face reality, I’m just going to say it. It’s not fair that you like to treat me like shit in public but you want me to fuck you when no one is looking.”

Lizzie opened her mouth before closing it. From the tone of voice that Jonathan had used, it sounded harsh. Like she was using him like a whore. But Jonathan wasn’t done.

“Don’t worry about my hoodie, I’ll get it before I leave.”

Jonathan turned around and went back inside of the party. Lizzie stayed outside for several more minutes, pensive. Then she harrumphed and rejoined the party, resolute that she was going to ignore Jonathan once she gave him his hoodie back.

**

Twelve years later

Lizzie brushed her ginger hair over her shoulder. It was weird to be ginger for the first time since she was fifteen. The past years, she had been a very faithful blonde but it was time to do something very different.

“Not bad for a rancher’s daughter.”

Lizzie twirled in her full-length mirror, admiring the way the navy-blue dress fit her body, accessorized with her diamond hoop earrings, tennis bracelet, class ring, and the brand-new patent leather heels she had managed to score on clearance at Neiman Marcus. Very much the uniform of an intellectual property litigator who had just made partner, not the yee-haw who had went to UND. But right now, as she thought about tonight, Lizzie felt like the yee-haw she tried to suppress.

Tonight, there was a fundraising cocktail hour for her firm, Bradley, Lewis, and Cooper. This would be the first one that Lizzie attended since she transferred to the Chicago office from Atlanta. She was good at gladhanding and charming people, attending Penn Law had sucked the yee-haw from Lizzie’s accent. Now, she was Elizabeth Romanelli, ready to make connections while raising funds for the Children’s Miracle Network.

Only fly in the ointment was that this fundraiser was being held at the United Center. Not only that, it was rumored that the firm was able to get a couple of players for the Blackhawks to appear. Bradley, Lewis, and Cooper did some work for the Blackhawks, mainly with local TV contracts and sponsorships. Lizzie took in a deep fortifying breath. “It has been years,’ she told herself. “There’s no need to be nervous seeing Jon again.”

She turned around and grabbed her coat. It was mid fall but the temperature dropped enough at night that Lizzie wanted to wear her coat just in case. Before she left, she looked at her left ring finger. Taking a deep breath, she slid her old wedding ring off her finger. It was a new start, time to act like it.

**

The fundraiser went pretty well, in Lizzie’s eyes. It was her first firm social event in Chicago so most of it was spent shaking hands, exchanging business cards, and talking some shop. There were a couple of Blackhawks players there, none of that Lizzie recognized. She admitted several times while in conversation, that she was more of a college hockey than pro hockey fan.

Then, the one person she was hoping wouldn’t show up, showed up. Lizzie worked hard not to check Jonathan out but he had the kind of presence that commanded attention. His hair was cut short and the once lanky frame had filled out completely. Lizzie smirked when she saw one of her fellow attendees lick her lips but she couldn’t blame her. Jonathan looked delicious in a black suit with a pristine white shirt, no tie. He looked like casual, dominant elegance in a hockey player package as he made his rounds the room.

“You’re lucky that your department doesn’t work with the Blackhawks on anything,” said the woman who licked her lips. Lizzie looked down and looked at her name tag, it said ‘Elise’.

“Oh why?”

Lizzie took a sip of her pinot grigio, waiting for a reply. Elise didn’t disappoint as she whispered, “He’s single and my law school loans say he would be perfect for them.”

She couldn’t resist laughing at that statement; Lizzie totally understood where Elise was coming from. But as soon as her laughter faded, there was Jonathan Toews, right in front of them. Elise looked up at him, obviously starstruck. Lizzie put her best courtroom face as she stuck out her hand. “Hello, I’m Elizabeth Romanelli. You are?”

Jonathan blinked when Lizzie introduced herself as Elizabeth Romanelli. She was Lizzie MacArthur in the flesh, all these years later. Grasping her hand, Jonathan said, “Jonathan Toews, but you know who I am.”

Jonathan kept his best PR smile on his face as he processed his thoughts. This was Lizzie, the only one who got away. She was a redhead now, not a blonde, but those green eyes were still the same. Deep green eyes that always brimmed with an intelligence that had made Jon feel like he was an idiot when they first met at UND.

“Oh, how do you two know each other?”

Lizzie managed to keep her expression completely neutral while Jon reddened a bit. He dropped her hand as he said, “We went to college together.”

“Where was that,” Elise innocently asked and Lizzie wasn’t sure if she was truly curious or if she was being a bit catty.

“I went to University of North Dakota with Mr. Toews for undergrad,” Lizzie said. “Then I did Penn Law.”

Elise replied, “Oh. I remember reading that once.”

Lizzie refused to roll her eyes as Jon made small talk about the hockey season with Elise. Spotting a waiter, Elise raised her hand for another glass of wine. Tonight, was looking like it was about to be long. Before she could make her escape, Elise exclaimed, “Oh, there’s Mr. Schmidt, I need to talk to him! It was so nice to meet you and talk to you, Mr. Toews, Ms. Romanelli.”

Lizzie sighed as she scampered away, leaving her alone with Jonathan.

“Long time, no see,” Jonathan said, taking a sip of his water. Tomorrow was a game night and while he enjoyed drinking, he had no interest in doing anything that would keep him out of peak performance. But looking at Lizzie, he wished he had something stronger. The years had done her good; she looked curvier, stronger, hotter. He felt his pants tighten and Jonathan thought of his smelly hockey gear to deflate his hard on.

Lizzie stroked the curve of her new wine glass before replying, “I know. Wasn’t necessarily planned.”

“Romanelli?”

“I was married,” Lizzie’s smile tightened.

Jonathan quickly replied, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ask anything that would make you feel- “

“It’s okay, let’s not go there, okay. Before you ask, I’m a widow.” Lizzie looked down at her wine. It had been long enough that she knew she wouldn’t break down but it was awkward to talk about it with her first college hookup/almost boyfriend. After all these years, Jonathan still had an affect on her. She felt a bit lightheaded but her once dormant libido had flared up as soon as they shook hands. It was as if her body had decided that someone worthy was nearby and it was time.

“I’m sorry,” Jonathan repeated, his voice low as he ran his fingers through his short hair. It was a bit overwhelming seeing Lizzie again but he was already damn sure that he needed to see her again. As they exchanged pleasantries, Jon moved on to another group at the fundraiser. But every now and then, he made sure to catch her in the crowd.

At the end of the night, he was finally able to get Lizzie alone, again. “Now that you’re in Chicago, why don’t we go out? As old friends?”

Lizzie laughed as she waited for her coat. “We weren’t old friends and you know it.”

“But who said that we can’t be at least friends now?”

Jonathan gave Lizzie a big smile while she scoffed, “I can tell by the way you’ve been looking at me all night that you aren’t interested in being just friends.”

“How was I looking at you?”

Jonathan leaned into Lizzie as he noticed that Seabs was nearby. While he loved Seabs as a brother, he didn’t want him to have any idea of what he was planning, yet.

Lizzie batted her lashes at Jonathan before replying, “Like you never seen a woman before. I have to keep the conversation business casual but we both know what I’d really like to say.”

“Then, you should let me have your phone number.”

“Smooth, Toews,” Lizzie commented. “Very smooth.”

“I try.”

Jonathan couldn’t help himself; as Lizzie received her coat from the coat check, he helped her put it on.

“Wow, I don’t know if you’re actually a gentleman now or if you’re trying to get points,” Lizzie quipped.

Jonathan gave her an aw-shucks grin and a shrug. Despite her better judgment, Lizzie figured that it couldn’t hurt. She didn’t really know anyone yet in Chicago and it would be nice to talk to someone who she at least knew from college. But she didn’t want to openly give it to Jonathan so she took the moment to turn and grab paper and a pen from a table. Writing her number and snap down, she slid it into Jonathan’s pocket.

“There, now you can never say I never gave you anything.”

Lizzie turned and sauntered away. Jonathan fished through his pockets and grabbed the paper, grinning and laughing to himself.

**

Lizzie had to give Jonathan credit. He knew how to attempt to get a woman’s attention. The flowers were a nice touch; not too ostentatious and he was smart enough not to attach his name to them. But Lizzie knew exactly who they were from because there were exactly nineteen pink and nineteen white roses in Monday’s bouquet. Yesterday’s bouquet was a set of nineteen purple flowers that after she looked them up, Lizzie found out that they were purple columbine. Today’s bouquet involved nineteen white camelias and nineteen red chrysanthemums.

“This guy must really like you.”

Lizzie turned around to see Peter, her paralegal. He was pointing at the flowers, a pensive look on his face.

“Really? He just wants my attention.” Lizzie dismissively waved towards the flowers but inwardly, she was loving it.

Peter raised an eyebrow. “Okay, whatever you say. Anyway, I have five messages from the managing partners.”

“I already know what they want and I already reviewed the files and sent them to Kristin, Jacques, and Malik. They are working on the briefs for the arbitration and they should all be done by the end of the work day. I will prep my own opening argument myself for the hearing when we are done talking. You can quote everything I just said in your email,” Lizzie stated with a smile on her face. This was her first arbitration hearing at the Chicago office with her new associates working under her. But she knew it would go well.

“But the flowers. I’d look them up, Ms. Romanelli. He’s sending you a message with each bouquet. Especially that first one with those kind of pink roses, maiden blush roses? Oh, he’s definitely telling you something.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Lizzie brushed Peter off, her mind already back on work. However, she messaged Jon later, I like jasmine, lily of the valley, the most.

The next day, there was a bouquet with yellow jasmine, lily of the valley, and red pink flowers, the number adding to 19 and a note, looking forward to seeing you tonight.

**

Lizzie was still a mystery and Jonathan was desperate to figure her out. This was their sixth date and every time he felt like he was getting closer to her, Lizzie pulled back. Jon understood but at the same time, he was getting annoyed. He was also horny as fuck and trying very hard not to let his cock dictate his actions.

Tonight, Lizzie wore a little black dress with strappy heels to dinner and all Jonathan could think of was having Lizzie wear those heels while he fucked her hard and fast. It took all his willpower to keep the conversation light during dinner as his traitorous brain filled with all kinds of dirty images. Now, they were having post dinner drinks at a place Kaner had suggested. It was very intimate, the kind of place for seduction. Unfortunately, Jonathan thought, there would probably be no seduction tonight as he stood on the wall with Lizzie.

“I intentionally wore these for you.”

Lizzie fluttered her eyelashes at Jon’s dumbfounded expression. She wasn’t dumb; she knew exactly the kind of affect she had on men. Lizzie had to give Jonathan credit; he was doing a good job of not being a stupid hornball.

“I love them,” Jonathan drawled before taking a sip of his whiskey on the rocks. He told himself to be patient, as they continued to talk but after another half-hour talking about football, Jon finally broached the subject. “Are you seeing anyone?”

“Are you,” Lizzie countered. She went out on a couple of dates with a couple of different guys when the Blackhawks were out of town because, in her mind, she was still a free agent. Doing that actually made Lizzie feel more comfortable with going out with Jonathan. Not that the other dates were bad but Lizzie had to admit to herself that there was still something more with Jonathan.

“No,” Jonathan admitted. His DMs were full on all social media so he could go out with anyone he wanted if he truly felt like it. But right now, he really was just interested in Lizzie.

“That’s nice.”

Lizzie twirled the straw in her cocktail. Jonathan thought about what to say but ended up blurting out, “I still think about some of the things we did.”

“Woooooooow.”

Blushing, Lizzie bit her lip. Some of those memories had come back since she had seen Jonathan again. Some of those things that had seemed extra sinful at eighteen and nineteen were mainstream these days. Plus, Greg had tried but he didn’t have that same aura that teenage Jonathan had. Adult Jonathan had that dominant aura in spades and it was tempting.

Lizzie added, “And?”

Jonathan moved closer to Lizzie, his big body bracketing hers, his monotone voice even deeper, “You remember when I tied you up the first time?”

“That was…. interesting,“ Lizzie replied. She felt flushed, that memory now in her brain. They had been fumbling around and Jonathan had tied her up before making her beg and scream his name. But the knot had got stuck and after he cut her out, Lizzie had chafed skin on both of her wrists. “It was an interesting experiment.”

Jonathan licked his lips. He noticed that Lizzie was flushed, her body leaning towards his. It was almost heady, the tension, he could taste it. So, he decided to press into the attack.

“We’ve both grown up now. I mean, I know what I love to do in the bedroom and I’m not a teen boy fumbling around.”

Lizzie resisted the urge to roll her eyes at Jonathan’s pronouncement. Steeling her face so that she looked impassive, inwardly she was freaking out a bit. Jonathan had been pretty good fuck in college, better than the rest of her boyfriends before she married Greg. But this Jonathan, three times Stanley Cup winner and hockey superstar Jonathan, he seemed lethal.

And he knew it as he gave Lizzie a little smirk and a wink.

“Don’t worry Lizzie, no one is going to judge you now if you like a little pain. I definitely won’t. You know I liked giving it to you when we were experimenting.”

Exasperated, Lizzie exclaimed, “You’re still so arrogant! I seriously doubt you’d have a chance to fuck me again.”

Jonathan moved closer and Lizzie backed up, backing into the wall. Jonathan got close enough that Lizzie could smell his expensive cologne but far enough that she could easily move away if she wanted to.

“I don’t know why you’re still lying to yourself all these years later,” Jonathan murmured, his dark brown eyes looking black. “But I’m patient, I can still wait. You still want me and I’ve always wanted you.”

Lizzie bit her lip and Jonathan resisted the urge to groan. He had thought that he had forgotten her but just meeting her again two months ago had brought back those old feelings. Now, he was getting tired of playing cat and mouse but from what he had learned from TJ and Ridley, Jonathan was trying to be careful and tactical with his advances. He at least managed to get her to go out with him. His cock could wait.

Of course, after telling himself that, images from a decade ago filled his head. Ignoring them, Jonathan instead taunted, “Nothing to say? I never thought lawyers could be rendered speechless.”

Instead of replying, Lizzie reached out and touched Jonathan’s sweater. It was super soft and felt like it was made from the finest cashmere. She finally replied, voice low and soft, “Why am I so attracted to you? This shouldn’t really be happening.”

“Fate.”

It was a very simple reply as Jonathan grabbed her hand and brought it up to his lips. He kissed her hand, just a brief touch of closed lips to skin. But it felt like electricity coursed through both of them. Jonathan recovered first before giving Lizzie a devilish smile. “Night, night Elizabeth.”

***

“He’s way too smooth.”

Lizzie took in a deep breath as she watched the first snowfall of the year through her office window. Rachel’s laughter at her complaint registered super loud over her ear pod.

Rachel commented, “Of course he is, he’s had over a decade of practice. I can’t believe he’s still interested; I think Jon has dated models and he could date anyone. You’re lucky as hell, Lizzie.”

Lizzie pouted as she moved away from the window. “I don’t know if I want to be lucky.”

“Well, I remember all of the sneaking around you’d did when we were in college. You had no problems fucking him in private.”

“RACHEL!! Oh, my Gawd, you knew that?!?”

Lizzie put her hand on her forehead, mortified. She thought she had been cautious.

Rachel chuckled before continuing, “No one else figured it out. But it was obvious that sparks were flying. And then Jon goes pro and you end up dating around until you met Greg. But you never were as happy as you were freshman spring.”

Lizzie sighed, feeling a headache beginning to start. “Greg, you know I loved Greg.”

“I know honey, if you hadn’t, I would have seriously considered stopping the wedding,” Rachel consoled. “And he did help you escape the ranch and your parents’ plans.”

“I’ve been a widow for 3 years and this is the first time I’ve been attracted to a man,” Lizzie blurted out. Her cheeks reddened as she realized her admission.

There was an extended pause before Rachel finally replied. “Then you should go for it. Greg wouldn’t want you to give up on sex because he’s gone.”

Lizzie flipped through the messages on her work phone as she pondered Rachel’s words.

“I gotta go, Alyssa is about done with school and the baby should be up any minute. Stop thinking and just fuck him. Just remember to put color corrector and concealer over any marks Jonny leaves on you.”

Lizzie exclaimed, “Rachel,” but she had already hung up. Checking her personal phone for messages, Lizzie grinned when she saw she had a snap from Jon. Opening the snap, she saw a photo of Jon signing jerseys and picks with a note of can’t wait to give you one.

Lizzie responded; too bad I’ll be too busy to get one for the next couple of weeks

Lizzie put her phone down, ready to focus on her work before getting a new message from Jon. I told u I can be patient.

**

Lizzie looked down at her list of pros and cons. All the pros were reasons why she should fuck Jonathan: get rid of all the unresolved tension from college, he’s an already proven great fuck, probably the best guy to be her first fuck since Greg passed away. The cons were that he was Jonathan Toews, he was famous, and he did have the ability to be an asshole. Her skeptical side told Lizzie that she probably couldn’t keep it casual but the other side was like, was that a bad thing?

Shaking her head, Lizzie pulled on a pair of jeans before putting on a sweater. The Blackhawks were back in town and last night, she went to the game courtesy of Jonathan. Lizzie had taken Elise with her and they enjoyed the Blackhawks winning against the Flames. It was actually fun as Lizzie explained some of the finer points of hockey, such as power plays, penalty kills, offsides, and the fact that all refs in all sports were absolutely awful. Tonight, she actually told Jon she would come over after they saw a movie.

Lizzie was curious about where Jonathan lived. She knew it was in an area called Lincoln Park; she lived in the outskirts of the North Side. Her student loans from law school demanded payment so Lizzie moved in the nicest area she could afford, in a gentrifying neighborhood. “Get a taste of how the rich live tonight,” Lizzie said to herself. However, she did put on a matching pair of underwear just in case she decided to do more.

**

Jonathan looked at Lizzie as the car pulled up to his place. He had been on his best behavior tonight; no sly comments, etc. after last time. But Lizzie had been cuddly during the movie and now, she… he couldn’t read her actions.

Jon entered his code and led Lizzie inside. “Very nice,” Lizzie commented as they walked through the first floor of his place.

“Oh wow, you have my favorite flowers,” Lizzie exclaimed as they walked into his kitchen. There was a vase with Spanish Jasmine flowers.

Jonathan shrugged even though he was inwardly pleased. He had ordered them this afternoon, a rush order when Lizzie said she would come over. Now she was here and he felt at a loss. His cock said to seduce her, his brain said to wait for her cues and see if she was actually interested. Jonathan grabbed two cups and got himself and Lizzie a glass of water before guiding her back into the living room.

“More movies,” Lizzie teased as she made herself comfortable on his leather couch.

Jonathan shook his head no, suddenly nervous as he cut on the TV. He didn’t want to fuck it up.

Lizzie smirked as she watched indecision on Jonathan’s face. Tonight, had been their first date since that conversation and it was obvious that Jonathan was still very interested but didn’t want to do anything that seemed pushy. Lizzie thought at first it was because they were out in public but she realized that if she wanted to actually go there again, she would have to bring it up.

“What are you thinking about, Jon,” Lizzie asked, intentionally shortening his name.

Jonathan put his arms on the back of the couch and mentally said fuck it. “Do you want to good answer or the dirty answer?”

“Dirty answer?”

Lizzie grinned as Jonathan gulped then groaned.

“I keep looking at your ass in those jeans and I want to grab it so bad,” Jonathan admitted. Lizzie looked at his big hands and she decided that tonight was the night.

“You can grab it, if you want?”

“Huh, what?”

Jonathan looked so dumbfounded that Lizzie giggled. “I said you can grab it. That’s another way of saying, you can touch me.”

“Are you sure,” Jonathan asked, locking eyes with Lizzie.

Lizzie rolled her eyes before grabbing his hand. “I came here with the full intent of getting fucked. But if you aren’t interested, that’s okay and we can hang out before I go home.”

“Oh, do you really want me to fuck you?”

Jonathan raised an eyebrow as Lizzie flung her hair behind her shoulder. “I want you to kiss me, eat my pussy, maybe I’ll suck your cock, and then fuck me, if you want to get precise.”

“Goddamn,” Jonathan breathed. “Fuck, then why don’t you sit in my lap?”

Lizzie climbed into his lap before locking eyes with Jonathan again. His deep brown eyes looked nearly black and he had stubble all around his jaw. She traced his jaw with her fingers before running her fingers through his hair. His voice a deeper monotone, Jonathan murmured, “I’m not going to bite, unless you want me to do that.”

Instead of replying, Lizzie brushed her lips over Jonathan’s, once, then twice. Then she leaned down and nipped his lip. “I like biting,” she whispered against his lips before kissing him again. Jonathan’s arms came around her waist, keeping Lizzie in place as he began to take over the lazy kiss. Need stretched through their kisses, tongues interacting as over a decade apart melted away. Then Jonathan pulled away. Lizzie reached to pull her sweater off but Jonathan stopped her.

“Let’s go to the bedroom, I don’t want to fuck you for the first time in forever on a couch, at least not this time.”

Lizzie laughed as Jonathan picked her up and nearly ran to his bedroom. She didn’t even get a chance to look around and admire before he was on her. Jonathan’s hands were all over her body as he desperately kissed her. Before Lizzie realized it, her sweater and bra were off and so was Jonathan’s hoodie and t-shirt. She could feel his rock-hard abs against her body as Jonathan rolled so that Lizzie was on top.

“Your tits are still fucking amazing.”

“Thanks,” Lizzie beamed as Jonathan gently kneaded them in his hands.

He murmured, “They are still so sensitive,” as her nipples hardened quickly in his fingers, watching Lizzie’s changes in expression. “So, you’ll tell me right away if I do something you don’t like?”

“Like what,” Lizzie asked.

Jonathan lightly grabbed her throat, something they had never done before but something he had learned that he liked to do. “Like that.”

“Mmmm, this is good,” Lizzie replied. Choking was one of the kinks she had explored with Greg and that she missed.

“Fuck, you got dirtier,” Jonathan stated before rolling Lizzie under him again.

“Why don’t you stop talking and undress me some more,” Lizzie ordered.

Jonathan laughed before idly replying, “Normally, I wouldn’t let you tell me what to do but we haven’t even negotiated that yet. And we aren’t, not tonight.”

Lizzie’s giggled as she shimmied out of her jeans. But those giggles were replaced with moans when Jonathan’s fingers brushed her upper and inner thighs before stroking her pussy through her panties. “So wet for me.”

He had planned to go slow but Jonathan was pretty sure that wasn’t happening, at least not for this first round. He needed to be deep inside of Lizzie, back where he belonged. Jonathan stood up and took off his own jeans and boxers, revealing his very hard cock. Lizzie reached up and ran a hand over his cock before pumping it with both hands.

“I’m not going to last that long,” Jonathan warned as Lizzie began to jerk him off. “I want to cum deep inside of your pussy, Elizabeth.”

“Oh my God,” Lizzie breathed. There was something in the way that Jonathan said her full name, it made her pussy drip even more.

Jonathan reached into his night stand and grabbed a condom. “Be a good girl and put this on me.”

Lizzie took the condom from Jonathan’s hands and opened it. Then she guided it over his cock with a wicked grin on her face. Leaning back on her elbows, Lizzie smirked at Jonathan before sucking her lip into her mouth. “Fuck me, Jonathan.”

Jonathan growled as Lizzie spread her legs, showing him just how wet and ready she was for him. Pulling a leg up and over his shoulder, Jonathan entered Lizzie slowly, making sure she felt every inch. Lizzie moaned, her hands grabbing anywhere they could on Jon as he fucked her, slow soft strokes turning harder with each thrust.

“Fuck you feel so good,” Lizzie groaned as Jonathan gave her a harder thrust, hips grinding with each stroke.

Jonathan managed to reply, “Your pussy still feels like it was made for me.”

He was already close and Jonathan couldn’t hold off even though he could tell that Lizzie wouldn’t cum with him this time. Jonathan’s lips found Lizzie’s as he kissed her while he came. Lizzie let Jonathan ride his high out, she could feel that she was getting closer but she wasn’t there.

Jonathan slumped against Lizzie for a couple moments before withdrawing from her pussy. He took off the condom, telling Lizzie, “Stay there.”

Dumping the condom into the trash, Jonathan pulled Lizzie to the edge of the bed. Spreading her legs, Jonathan knelt in between, fingers spreading her folds. Then his tongue licked her clit and Lizzie arched off the bed. “Don’t worry, I’m going to take care of you,” Jonathan cooed as he played with her clit. Then he dove in, licking her juices from her pussy before tongue-fucking Lizzie’s entrance. His fingers continued to roll her clit with light pressure, enough to keep Lizzie on the edge but not enough to get her to cum. Then Jon sucked her clit into her mouth and bit it very lightly, enough of a shock to get Lizzie to cum with a scream, fingers grabbing sheets to hold on for dear life. Jonathan muttered something in French as Lizzie rode out her high. Then she fell asleep with a light snore.

**

Lizzie laid on the bed, her hair fanned out around her head, body too depleted to move yet. But she peeled herself up as Jonathan was sitting up next to her, a MacBook in his lap.

“Wow, what time is it?”

“It’s a little after midnight,” Jonathan replied. He had changed into a pair of sweats and Lizzie licked her lips. He looked really good in gray sweats.

She shrugged. “At least it’s Saturday.”

“I cleaned you up after you passed out.”

Jonathan gave Lizzie a wicked grin as she blushed. “It’s been a while,” she replied.

Lizzie got up and Jonathan pointed to his left, indicating that was the way to get to the bathroom. Lizzie stepped inside of the master bathroom, still too tired to check it out. After taking care of business and washing her hands, Lizzie walked back into Jonathan’s bedroom. Jonathan handed her a t-shirt and said, “You’re too tired to attempt to drive home. You can stay here; I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

“I like cumming so you don’t have to keep them to yourself.”

Lizzie gave Jon a saucy smile while he groaned.

**

Let yourself be happy. Find that guy again, the one who was before me. I just want you to be happy, don’t shrivel up and die because I’m gone.

Lizzie looked at the note, last note from Greg before he passed from non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Her wedding ring was on next to it, the simple gold band twinkling in the late winter sun.

Today was her seventh month since her move to Chicago, fifth since she met Jonathan for the first time in years. Tonight, she was going to the game, Elise going with her but this time, they were going to sit with the WAGs. Lizzie had met Jonathan’s closest friends and teammates and it was obvious that there was something happening between them. But Lizzie felt the need to look at this one more time.

“I’m going to be happy, Greg,” Lizzie whispered before putting her old wedding ring and the note in a box, setting it next to a vase of nineteen red tulips that Jon had given her. Then she pulled her hair into a ponytail, sent all work calls on her work phone to voicemail. Picking up her personal phone, Lizzie smiled as she looked at the text from Jonathan.

She wasn’t going to run this time. She was going to embrace a future with Jonathan.

[jadoue1999]

The X-Men and the member they lost - Chapter 4

Summary: This chapter references the 6th episode of WandaVision and the events from Wanda's point of view in my previous story in chapter 2-3-4. I recommend reading those before continuing, but the best would be to read the entire story. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Previous parts: Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, 

Chapter 4: Regrets

The episode continued with both the twins talking directly to the camera. Erik frowned at this unusual situation, was this how television worked past the eighties? Billy was dressed up as some sort of magician and was talking about Halloween. The two brothers argued about the true meaning of the holiday, one saying something about being someone else for a day and the other one saying it was all about candies and scaring people. Erik smirked, from the little time he had been with Peter, he, too, would have probably said the same thing had he been asked. Speaking of him, he had yet to appear. Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait long as the twins moved to the living room, where he was laying on the couch, sleeping. The metal bender was still feeling uneasy about the blonde hair. The boys talked, the one wearing the cape seemed suspicious of him. They argued about waking him up, but he beat them to it.

“Blood is thicker than water, I show you!” Peter screamed as he sped off the couch. The twins yelled and started pacing around the couch as Peter used his speed to circle around the sofa. Erik smirked despite himself, it might have been a pretend, but the speedster really did seem to have a good time with his fake nephews. The scene cut to Wanda going down the stairs wearing a costume she qualified as a fortune teller. Peter watched her, unimpressed.

“Wow, that is so...”

“Rad!”

“Lame”

He frowned, that was a little strange, and rude. Charles probably felt his confusion since he turned to him. His gaze was enough to inform him that he too found the line strange. It switched to a reference to their childhood to which the redhead seemed confused about. But that didn’t make sense, she had casted him as Pietro; surely, he would have his memories as well? The husband walked down the stairs wearing a frankly ridiculous costume. Peter also made fun of him by trying to guess what he was dressed as. Vision walked to his wife and seemed to challenge her authority once again. He quickly moved on and pointed out how Wanda hadn’t really talked about her brother before. The scene cut to him and the twins playing games. Then the android decided to go off on his own, to which Peter stepped in.

“Don't sweat it, sis. I got the old XY chromosome. Uncle P to the rescue, uh?”

Raven spoke up at the strange line, “is- is he referring to the X gene? I know it doesn’t make any sense since it doesn’t seem to exist in this universe, but it’s so specific...”

Erik agreed with the shapeshifter, while it technically made sense in the sitcom word; it was way too specific to just be a throw away line. Was Peter conscious to a certain degree? He secretly hoped not, he must have been suffering greatly if he was.

Peter then asked about balloons and shaving cream, something that had apparently happened at the manor before because Charles sighed suddenly in exasperation. He was vaguely whispering about the clean up it took after one of his pranks. Peter and the long-haired twin sped off at Wanda’s complaint about their lack of costumes, coming back with matching ones and spiky hair. From what Erik could gather, they were probably dressed as runners, their hair up perhaps meant that they were going fast? He had no idea; he had never really dressed up for Halloween before.

The scene cut to the neighborhood where everyone was out and trick or treating. He had never seen so many town resident active at the same time, and now there were children. Erik noted with curiosity that the ratio parent to child didn’t really make sense; not enough kids were out for the number of adults present. He suddenly had an idea.

“Charles,” he said, turning to the man, “with that many residents, perhaps Wanda’s hold is weakened; can you read any of their mind?”

The telepath put a hand to his head in concentration and stared at the screen for a few seconds. His gaze didn’t falter as he desperately tried to make contact with the poor townspeople. After a moment, he shook his head.

“There’s something blocking me from seeing into anyone’s mind; I’m betting Wanda has something to do with it.”

Erik sighed in defeat and turned back to the screen, the children were off, and the redhead was questioning Peter.

“You're testing me.” He told her accusingly, she widened her eyes at the accusation, apparently not fond of being so easily read.

“No, I'm not.”

Peter raised his hand in surrender, showing he didn’t blame her. “Hey, it's cool. I know I look different.”

“Why do you... look different?”

Erik stared at the screen anxiously, Wanda was definitely aware that something was wrong. How could Peter answer anything that wouldn’t sound suspicious? He had always been quick to find something to say, hopefully he would still have it, even mind controlled.

Peter tilted his head, acting nonchalant. “You tell me. I mean, if I found Shangri-La, I wouldn't wanna be reminded of the past either.”

Whatever that place was, he had never heard of it, but the context made it seem like a perfect place without remorse. The children came back, asking for more candies and Peter suggested to use superspeed to be more efficient. That was... strange to say the least. He was running with the boys without worrying about whiplash, they were holding on to his belt. They really seemed happy, like any uncle and his nephews. Slight worry crept into his chest as he noticed that his speed now showed up on camera; something it never did before. Was he slowing down for the sake of the show? Also, there was a little blue lingering behind him. Raged filled Erik as he realized that Wanda had changed the aspect of his speed to match her late brother’s. She had erased his name, his hair and now his speed; was there something this woman couldn’t and wouldn’t do to fulfill her fantasy world? 

She went to talk to the neighbor on the left, Herb if he remembered well. It turned out that Vision wasn’t actually on duty, which meant he had broken out of her control for now. That assumption was right, the next scene showed the android walking through the neighborhood, feeling uneasy about his surroundings. He smiled to some passerby as he noticed a couple putting up decorations. Except they were not.

“Is this a common occurrence?” He questioned his friend. Both adults were stuck in a loop, the woman was in the process of hooking up a ghost, but she lowered her arm before she ever reached the fishing line. The husband in the back keep picking up and putting down a bucket.

“No, it isn’t,” said Charles. He frowned as a tear rolled down the woman’s cheek, ”they are trapped in their minds, but unable to do anything. Wanda is sidelining them because they’re not useful to her right now, but they have to keep acting as they would be if she were there.”

Erik stared at the wall, deep in thoughts. They were all suffering, that meant... “Is Peter stuck in his mind as well?” The telepath was silent, but it was enough to confirm his fears. “I wish he could have told me earlier, perhaps I would have been enough to save him from this fate.”

Charles shook his head with a serious face. “Don’t say this, old friend, even I did not sense anything amiss the night of his disappearance. As for knowing earlier, Peter didn’t tell anyone other than Raven. She’s the one that told me.”

He looked at the screen where Vision was still observing his surroundings with discomfort. “Watching this woman puppet my son on her show just serves as a reminder that I missed nearly thirty years of his life. And even now that I’m aware of his existence, I can’t do anything to save him from this nightmare.”

Charles stopped him from saying anything more as he put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Erik, Peter is a very secretive person. And as much as he rambles like his life depends on it; we never knew his real name or the fact that he had a twin sister.”

He had to give it to his friend, Peter hadn’t really spoken much about his past to anyone. But had he been aware that he had a son, could he have made a difference?

The screen now showed Vision walking away and it cut to a commercial. Erik didn’t watch much as he was contemplating what the episode had been so far. He had seen horrible things in his life, but Wanda’s little perfect life was unsettling. There was no record of how she made it in any of the files, it just appeared out of nowhere. The only other person he had seen displaying a power that was close to what the redhead was doing was, ironically, Jean; the other redhead he knew at the mansion. He had seen her unleashing hell to destroy En Sabah Nur back at Cairo and had been impressed since.

He was pulled out of his thoughts as Kurt panicked at whatever was going on at the television. The little boy was slowly decomposing. He wasn’t sure was had happened previously, but he watched in disbelief as the boy’s cheeks hollowed out and his eyes slowly disappeared. Then all that was left was a skeleton as the screen showed a picture of a yogurt brand.

‘Yo-Magic! The snack for survivors!’

What was that commercial? What did it even mean? Was there a threat looking to consume Wanda’s magic or was it a metaphor for what was happening to all the citizens? Everything in this show seemed to have a double meaning. He really should have paid attention. The screen switched to Wanda, Peter and the boys. They were walking in front of a theater that showed movies that hadn’t come out yet. Well, except maybe parents trap but he doubted it was the original one. Peter was complaining about having to return the candies and Wanda was teasing him about being a bad influence. The speedster turned to her, offended.

“I'm just trying to do my part, okay?” Erik frowned, his part? Could he be aware about his predicament? If so, why not try to escape? Or perhaps she wasn’t able to completely subdue him, and he ended up being casted as someone that knew too much for his own good. There was no telling what was going in the speedster’s head. Peter continued his rant, explaining his purpose, “Come to town unexpectedly, create tension with the brother-in-law, stir up trouble with the rugrats, and ultimately give you grief. I mean, that's what you wanted, isn't it?”

His remark earned a general frown from the viewers in the room, what did she want?

Wanda narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion, “What happened to your accent?”

Peter didn’t let her get to him as he snapped back, “What happened to yours?” That caught her off guard, though Erik couldn’t think why. Perhaps she was supposed to have an accent? Her files did say that she was from this Sokovia place in Europe.

Kurt suddenly spoke up, “I know Peter can be sarcastic, but he’s being very rude. He’s never like that normally; is that his role or is it him being conscious and trying to hide it?”

The teen had a point. The speedster was hyper and excited, but he wasn’t rude. The lines he was forced to say definitely didn’t sound like something he’d just blurt out at someone he was supposed to consider family. Peter continued talking about being shot for no reasons and hearing her voice calling to him. That was definitely the other brother’s memories, that was for certain. Erik wasn’t sure how to feel about this. Did it mean that his son would now be stuck with a double set of memories trapped in his head? Was he torn between two versions of himself? He couldn’t dwell on his questions as the children came running back. “They've got full-size candy bars a few blocks up. Mom, can we go?” Tommy was suddenly gone in a blur and back in an instant, with candy bars in his hand. He looked proud as he exclaimed, “Next stop, Cavity Town!”

The excitement on Peter’s face was something that made Erik smile. He found himself wishing that the circumstances were different, perhaps Peter could have reacted the same way to a student. The way his eyes gleamed up and his mouth turned into a wide grin seemed so genuine, so much like Peter. “Right on, little dude! Chip off the old Maximoff block. You've got super speed!”

Wanda and Peter looked at each other with pride in their eyes. If Erik hadn’t known better, he truly could have believed that they were siblings. They simply felt right together. He watched as Tommy broke into superspeed, running all around the place as Wanda slowly began to get more serious. Peter, though, was grinning like a mad man and repeatedly nodding in approval as the mini speedster raced through the street. Their fun was cut short as Wanda grabbed her son, stopping him abruptly. He frowned at her movement, if there was one truth about Peter, it was that once he started, he couldn’t be stopped by anyone. He was simply too fast. It was because of his superspeed, no one could touch him. It had to be the same for Tommy. How could she even see the young speedster in the first place? Let alone being able to grab him without any whiplash. Wanda then warned them to not go past Ellis Avenue. From her tone, he had to assume that it was the end of the barrier.

Raven turned to Charles, “he has superspeed, is he a mutant?”

The professor continued to look at the screen. “By how it manifested so suddenly, we have to assume that they are. The real question is, did Wanda steal mutant children from our dimension or are those children her own?”

The next few scenes were unexpected to say the least. Vision had found the dreaded Avenue and realized that no one was moving. He switched to a futuristic looking suit and flew in the air. The voices of the residents were echoing in the screen. Vision spotted a lone car, which ended up being Agnes’. She wasn’t moving either, that was unsettling since the woman usually was always so full of life. The robot did his best to question her, but she seemed barely aware of her surroundings.

“How can she even move at all? No one else is,” chimed in Raven.

That... was a valid question. Perhaps the fact that she was usually so close to Wanda gave her a slight immunity against the end of the barrier? He didn’t have time to tell his idea, Vision suddenly woke up the neighbor. It didn’t help much though, she confirmed that it was Wanda who controlled them and then started freaking out. He put her back under the spell and she drove away. The scene cut away as he was nearing the barrier.

Peter and Wanda were walking through the straw maze and sat on one of straw bundles. They talked a little about their parents and how she truly was living her best life. Then Peter pulled a face that was very unlike him and started questioning her. That made no sense, he was pushing for information Wanda should have known. Was there something else in this town talking through his son? She looked frightened for a moment, but Billy ran to her, screaming about their dying father. He was a telepath. Both twins apparently had mutations.

‘Don’t sweat it, sis. It’s not like your dead husband can die twice!’

This remark greatly angered Wanda and her eyes glowed red as she blasted him into nearby decorations. She turned to her son and made him focus on his claim. Judging by the screaming outside of the base, Vision had gone outside the town and the twin sensed it.

The broadcast suddenly cut off.

An alarm blared through the base, ringing loud enough to feel the vibration. Shouts outside of the bunker quickly made them aware of the situation. The barrier was expanding. The three other people with him were quickly picking up their stuff, but Erik couldn’t move. She had blasted his son away, like he was nothing. Was he dead? He hadn’t moved at all, he hoped he was just unconscious. Charles was grabbing his arm, telling him to snap out of it. The world suddenly caught up to him, they were in danger, the barrier was expanding. They had to get away.

He got to his feet, trying desperately to not think about Peter and the pain he had to be in. They ran out of the bunker; the barrier was already beginning to move towards the base. Soldiers were scrambling around, trying to get into cars and escape their upcoming fate. No one was paying attention to them, so Charles turned to the teenager.

“Kurt, you have to get us out of here,” the young man was frozen in place, staring at the approaching red wall. The professor pulled his arm, “Kurt!”

The blue mutant snapped out of his trance and told them to hold on to him. He closed his eyes in concentration, but they didn’t move. He opened his eyes in fear before closing them and trying again. “I- I can’t!” He panicked, “I’m sorry. This is my fault; I can’t do it!”

Raven gave him a reassuring smile and encouraged him to try again. He nodded and concentrated once more. After a few agonizing seconds, the world melted into a puff of smoke and they reappeared a mile away from their previous spot. Erik felt a nausea similar to the one he felt back when Peter broke him out. He looked around with a smirk. They had done it; the boy had succeeded. They looked at each other and laughed in relief, Kurt had saved them. They would live to fight another day, they were- they were-

Not far enough.

The red wall was still moving towards them with increasing speed. There was no escape now, the teen was too exhausted to try moving them again. He grabbed Charles’ hand and braced for impact. The telepath warned them to try to hold on to whatever they deemed was their story. Perhaps they would be able to remain unaffected if they could block their minds from Wanda’s control. He quickly followed his friend’s advice and focused on his life and the reason he was here.

His name was Erik Lehnsherr, he was a mutant, he had lost his family because of the Nazis and he had traveled to a different universe to find his son, Peter.

The wall crashed over them, he felt everything around him pulsing.

His name was Erik Lehnsherr, he was a mutant, he had lost his family and he had traveled to a different universe to find his son, Peter.

He felt Charles slipping away from beside him.

His name was Erik Lehnsherr, he was a mutant, and he had to find his son, Peter.

Raven kept calling for him, telling him to hold on.

His name was Erik Lehnsherr, and he had a son.

The teen he had been traveling with kept apologizing, but he wasn’t sure why.

His name was Erik Lehnsherr.

The woman had gone silent.

His name was... Erik.

He was alone, had he always been alone?

His name was...

It was...

What was his name?

***

Notes: Props to anyone who can tell me what was my reference for Erik going into the Hex (Not Marvel) Thank you for reading, reviews are always appreciated! Next chapter: Charles the Xtraordinary has a visitor

[strawberrylemonz]

January 20, 2021 - DSMP

Here is my review of what happened on today’s stream! Keep in mind that I was only watching Tommy’s POV, but will be analyzing any other viewpoints that I come across (Mainly Tubbo’s)

I’m going to be honest with everyone, I was unsure as to whether not any of our boys would make it out alive. I went into the stream preparing the worst.

Tommy and Tubbo talking each other up, preparing to leave made me feel all kinds of thing. Like I stated earlier, I was prepared for the two to end their adventure today. I vibed with them when they walked down the prime path, and froze up when I saw the first person in line. I’m not ashamed to say that I nearly sobbed when I saw everyone line up to say their goodbyes to the boys (I’m sensitive, shut up). 

The way Sam kept giving them stuff??? Loved that

The way Tommy and Quackity’s voices quivered when they spoke to each other? Punch to the heart?

Tommy telling Eret that she was always the true king??? YES!!! POP OFF!!!

The entire trip to where Dream was both made me happy and broke my heart. Here, we saw these boys, children forced to grow up quickly to be used by those they trusted, do their best to be kids for a moment. They were kids for, what they believed, could be the last time. They had their serious moments where Tommy kept reminding Tubbo that it was okay to not feel okay about the situation. Where Tommy didn’t want Tubbo to hide his inner thoughts from him just to try and make him feel better. The moment that they watched the sun together made me all sentimental and shit. Tommy preparing to die and have Tubbo leave and tell his story broke me. 

“Why did you tell me to bring Tubbo?”

“Because, it’s always been you and Tubbo against me, remember? Ever since the beginning, Tommy and Tubbo against Dream” (paraphrasing)

I actually got hyped up when Tommy got the disc. It reminded me of Tommy’s clutch the time he dropped the disc down to Tubbo and knocked Dream off the tower using only planks. I had let my hope for them grow. And then I had my heart broken.

Dream using Tubbo against Tommy was something that I expected would happen, but I still wasn’t prepared for it to actually happen. I don’t think I’ll easily forget about how Tommy gave up the disc to Dream, even when Tubbo begged for Tommy to keep the disc and go. My heart nearly dropped to my stomach when I saw Dream break that first dirt block. It dropped when he told the boys to put their armor in the hole. 

I have to admit, I was kinda confused that the homeless man had an evil lair and not a home, but pop off I guess??? The elevator was pretty cool, ngl

When I saw the two discs on the floor, I thought, “Bitch, you better be polishing this fucking floor every 30 minutes. Disrespect Nicki Minaj? What?” My second thought was, “why tf did you make two giant ass shrines for these discs??? Didn’t even center them, wtf dude.”

When Dream was monologuing and showing off the stolen goods and pets (and Skeppy) he stole from everyone, I knew he was on something. Him calling Tommy the key confirmed that Dream was overthinking everything and seeing things in places they didn’t belong. Did Tommy initially bring these bonds? Bring all the things Dream said he did? Yeah, I’ll admit it, he did. But it was the people in the server that kept that going, kept it alive. If not Tommy, someone else would have started that chain. The way Tommy look horrified and uttered with a horrific tone, “how do you not hurt?” when Dream mentioned how he cut off all his attachments was hnnnnnnnn

Tubbo actively trying to protect Tommy from going to prison while Tommy was actively trying to protect Tubbo from permanently dying was-

Man

Man, that broke my heart.

“You wanna be the hero of this server? Every hero has an origin story. Batman had his parents, Spider-Man had Uncle Ben. You have Tubbo.”

The look of complete horror/terror that came across Tommy’s face the instant those words were spoken. He genuinely looked scared. He kept trying to defend Tubbo, despite Dream repeating how defenseless Tommy was against him. Dream telling the boys to say their good byes hurt me in more ways that I can describe. Tommy was panicking, actively trying to come up with ways to get Tubbo out of there, no matter the cost or price that he had to pay. Tubbo telling him that it was okay, everything would be okay, he would be okay. The way Tommy was desperate to hold onto his best friend, his Tubbo, whilst saying, “You can’t be okay with this! Why are you okay with this?”

My heart nearly stopped for a second the moment Tubbo said “goodbye, Tommy”

My mind flashed back to Tubbo saying those exact words whilst exiling Tommy, his best friend, for the sake of everyone being safe. Now, here he was again, saying those exact words to the exact same person. The only difference? He wasn’t sacrificing his best friend for the sake of everyone and Dream. No, he was sacrificing himself for the sake of his best friend, his only true friend, Tommy. 

“Get away from them”

“Punz?”

“I’m sorry Dream, but you should have paid me more.”

Literal chills. I cannot. It’s the “On your left” of the DSMP. The way everyone came through the portal to line up against this tyrant that manipulated them all. The way I imagined everyone coming through to see this decked out dude with a god complex about to murder a bloody and bruised child, said child’s best friend (also bloody and bruised) was watching, begging to have his friend spared. Imagining how they saw the tear streaks down the boys’ messed up faces as they accepted their fates. As they saw their fear turn to hope as Tommy got Tubbo behind them for safety. How Tommy entrusted them to keep Tubbo safe. How they all came, decked out, to defend these two children. 

How Quackity came in nothing but his yeezys because he just fucking knew that Dream wouldn’t put up a fight. The way Dream was so confident that he had power over everyone because he rid himself of his bonds towards objects and friends, only for that to be his downfall. The way Sapnap, Dream’s old friend, his buddy, was the one to give Tommy the pickaxe. The way Puffy was there to protect the two boys she renounced his duckling title for (and the nation).

The way Tommy dug a hole, without any protection or weapons, and had Dream throw his stuff in. The way he didn’t blow any of Dreams shit up, like he had happen to himself, and, instead, used Dream’s things to protect Tubbo and everyone else. The way Tommy took away Dream’s first two lives, paralleling the times Dream took Tommy’s two lives. The way Tommy boxed him in, like Tubbo was at the festival, and the way Tubbo held a bow to Dream. The way Tommy screamed at Dream to tell everyone what he had done. How Dream was the one to blow up the community house. How Dream tormented the poor boy in exile. The way Tommy didn’t spare him because he liked him, or wanted to play mind games with him. No, Tommy spared him because he had a chance to get his brother back, his family. 

“Let’s make Wilbur proud. SUCK IT GREEN BOY!!!!”

“SUCK IT GREEN BOY!!!!”

The way the boys sincerely thanked everyone for showing up, fully knowing that they didn’t have to do shit. The way that Tommy said to go to Tubbo’s vc, obviously warming Tubbo’s heart. The way they made it to bench, and finally had a chance to breathe. How they could sit their, listen to their discs, and be kids again. No wars, no going against Dream, nothing. They could just be Tommy and Tubbo, like it’s always been since the beginning. 

Then Wilbur fishfucking Soot had to crash the moment like the older brother he was, lmaooooo. 

“You didn’t die”

“Ghostbur?”

“I’m not Ghostbur.”

I sucked in a breath, not knowing how the interaction was going to go. Was Wilbur still in the mindset he was whilst blowing up the nation he and his younger brother created? Was he in a mindset before that? Was he sane? 

I must admit, their bickering match, along with Tubbo’s dancing, made me realize how much I missed their dynamic. I realized how much I missed Wilbur being in the picture. (Tommy whispering to Tubbo how he liked Ghostbur was hilarious)

Wilbur complaining about being stuck with Schlatt in the afterlife was hilarious. Wilbur admitting that he was preparing, waiting, for Tommy, his younger brother, to join him in the afterlife had me gripping my plushies. Wilbur telling Tommy that he’s proud of him put a sledgehammer into my fragile dam. 

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon.”

THEY. ARE. BROTHERS!!!!

It was just so refreshing to see these two get the happy ending they deserved in this arc. The pain and suffering these two children went through at the expense of others, how they were forced to grow up quickly because of their situations, all of that was finally pushed towards the path of recovery. And although they’ve been through hell and back, it’s still them. Although the future will be hard for them, throwing more trials and difficult choices, they know that they’ll make it out, because that how it’s always been. And if their strengthen bond after today can tell them anything, it’s that it’ll always be like that.

It’s always been Tommy and Tubbo.

What I want/what I predict

FOR GEORGE TO BE AWAKE FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS

Everyone complimenting Niki on her new fit better fucking happen, I will manifest it

Dream will use his favor from Techno to break out of prison

Connor playing a bigger role in the SMP

Foolish revealing that they don’t need Dream alive (hopefully)

Ghostbur to say a proper goodbye before Wilbur is revived

GLATT

GLATTBUR

SBI reunion with every alive for more than five fucking minutes

Wilbur ignoring his dad Phil and zooming over to little brother Tommy so that he can hug him and tell him that he’s safe now and that he’s so proud of him

THERAPY ARC!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYONE LOVELY, PLEASE

JUST GET EVERYONE INSIDE THE THERAPY GROUP SECTION AND TALK ABOUT THEIR TRAUMA AND FEELINGS SO THEY CAN ALL CLEAR UP THEIR MISUNDERSTANDINGS!!!!!

The egg will start to negatively affect people, causing those not affected to fear for their home and friends

SBI + TUBBO AND RANBOO VS EGGPIRE????? POG?????

Tubbo nuking L’manhole to get rid of the spreading red

Techno/Phil to come to an understanding with Tommy; vice versa

Those unaffected teaming up to safe those affected

Someone (preferably Ranboo) unintentionally activating the End Portal lmao

The rest of the SBI + Tubbo saving Tommy from being murdered by Jack and Niki

Jack and Niki learning that killing the child is not the fucking answer to their problems (If it didn’t work for William Afton, it won't work for y’all. Stop trying to be the man behind the slaughter)

Techno and Tommy rebuilding their trust and friendship with each other

Tommy giving Techno the Axe of Peace

Sam being influenced by the egg and becomes corrupted

Ranboo being free??? Pog???? Pog

Puffy and Niki having a one-to-one conversation about their personal opinions and goals

Puffy visiting Dream whilst he sits in his cell

Skeppy and Bad to be okay again :(

Everyone infected to be okay again :(

Tommy bonding with Eret

Big Q continuing to hold Clingy Duo close to him

Schlatt coming back but instead of trying to run for president and mess with everyone, he’s just everyone’s drunk uncle that somehow gives wise advice to every situation

Wilbur coming back but he’s that angry older cousin that only allows the favorite family members(Tommy)/friends to stay in his room 

GIVE ME MEXICAN DREAM AND GIRL DREAM!!! ONLY HETERO RELATIONSHIP I SEE THAT IS BEYOND POGGERS

Lani and Drista to make a comeback at the same time

Tommy meeting more family members

The kids being able to be kids

Lani selling yeezy

Drista w/ bedrock

Drista laughing at Dream’s imprisonment

Everyone finding peace within each other’s chaos and living in harmony

[tillthelandslide]

Made to Love

Author's Note: Hello to all of you beautiful and wonderful people. I hope your day is going well. After having a whole day of writer's block, I listened to Made to Love by John Legend and this wonderful idea came into my head so I wrote it down. I hope you liked this and I'm thinking maybe I could do a part 2 if you guys like it?

This is set in a utopian world, not ours just so you know.

Tag List: @harrysthiccthighss @thereisa8ella @magdelen69 @henrythickcavill @hc-geralt-23 @kissthatlifeaway @darkbooksarwin @august-w-princess @speakerforthedead0 @pixie1484 @constip8merm8 @tigerbroadwaybaby @agniavateira @summersong69 @aestheticallywinchester @stephartrave @al-wiisa @henrycavillfanpage @intenselikes @anat2507 @ellixthea @aguspalazzo @1ookatthestars00 @wintersoldierslut @michelehansel @cavill-sass @thecavillstache  @xelizabethvalentinex @sesamepancakes @tumblenewby @thefangirlsblog @sugermelonwater

(if you would like to be added to my tag list, feel free to message me, if you are new to my blog then I post Henry Cavill fanfics and make   Henry Cavill fake Instagram posts, my requests are open so feel free to request anything  and I will try my best to make your vision come to life. Edit: requests are still open but there might be a delay as I am working my way through the current ones and all other stories I am writing)  

Growing up you were taught the laws of the world you lived in. You were taught that every person around you had different morals and different beliefs. But one thing everyone agreed on was the existence of soul mates, two people linked by destiny, made for each other, two people bound my fate to be together until death do they part. You were taught that you could tell who your soulmate is purely but the feeling you got. You were told that your soul mates aura would match yours and the closer you were to each other the deeper you would feel, the more intense your feelings would be, as if amplified by the other person. You were also taught that as you grew up you would get visions of your soul mate. You wouldn't see what they looked like or where they lived but would see visions of what they were like, what they did in their spare time. You knew yours was an actor (although how famous you didn't know), you knew he enjoyed video games just as much as you did, he grew up reading fantasy books just like you, you could feel that family was important to him, he had brothers but you weren't sure how many. You could also feel each other's emotions when you were apart, a constant reminder from destiny that you had to find each other to live in peace, to live in paradise with each other. The piece of information that made it difficult in finding him was that he was an actor, he was always travelling and was always filming. This made finding him difficult because you were a singer, a famous one at that, you were constantly on the road, never in the same place for more than a couple of days at a time.

But you were currently on a break from your life on the road, you had told your fans that you were going to take a hiatus and lots of them encouraged you to find your soul mate, because they wanted you to be happy.

One of the fundamental laws of soul mates was the push and pull dynamic, the more someone would push their soulmate away. the more they would find themselves needing that person. There were people who ignored these laws, and lived their lives running from destiny. Soulmates who were yet to find each other were allowed to carry out temporary relationships with non-soul mate individuals, named "betas" but were forbidden to marry them or reproduce with them. Again there were those who hated these laws, those who married non-soulmates to spite destiny.

As for you, you had a few relationships with betas, but they never satisfied that of your deepest desire. It was fun getting to know betas and you found yourself loving them, but not in the way that soulmates would love each other. Eventually the relationship between betas would come to an end when the other found their soulmate. But you were yet to find yours so all of your beta relationships had ended because they had been successful in carrying out the law.

So here you were, alone in your house in London, what was the point of a break if I can't even find my soulmate? you thought. You were beginning to lose hope, maybe you had done something to spite destiny and this was its way of punishing you.

You had begun to feel ill, your mother bringing you some soup in hopes you would feel better. Your mother was one of few individuals, who destiny had granted multiple soul mates, this only happened to people whose original soul mate had passed, destiny would grant them another if they had successfully carried out the law of soul mates in all its glory. And your mother had, she had found her soulmate when she was 21 and had gotten married soon after, having 4 beautiful children (you included) before sadly her soul mate (your father) and passed. Destiny had decided that she carried out the law so well that she deserved another one.

To say it irked you was an understatement, you were happy for her, sure, but there she was having had 2 soul mates and you were yet to find yours.

"He's on he's way dear" she said, as she was leaving your home.

"I don't know ma" you frowned, rubbing your forehead I wish this throbbing in my head would stop for christ sake you thought.

"He is, my love. Now rest and get better, I have to meet Derek for lunch" she said referring to your step farther.

"Have a lovely day ma" you said, making her smile and leave you.

Your head throbbed again, making you have to close your eyes as you felt like you were going to faint.

"What in the world?" you said, your hand coming up to rest against the wall to stop yourself from falling.

Sit down love you heard his voice in your head say. Oh yeah, another side effect of not finding your soulmate was having this kind of connection with them, they could communicate with you, through your mind. It sounds ridiculous but it's true, it takes practice to successfully send a message to your soul mate, apparently it becomes painstakingly easy when you've actually met them.

"You're not helping me" you chuckled out, crashing on your sofa.

You need to rest, your making me feel nauseous his voice said again

"Oh thanks love. Sorry to be such a pain" you said, sarcastically.

Sorry love you heard him chuckle

"It would be a lot easier if you were here dickhead" you laughed, joking with him, your eyes still shut. An image flashed in your mind... A lot of green, that's all you could see for miles.

"What are you doing?" you laughed, talking about the vision you got.

Walking Kal

"all I can see is green, like for miles?" you asked, and you heard him chuckle. He didn't say anything else and you sighed, resting your head against your sofa.

Wish I could help you. He sounded sad and he felt sad too, you could physically feel him frowning, but you knew it felt worse for him, that's how it worked. You were feeling dizzy, which meant he was feeling it a little too.

"Would be so much easier if I knew where you were." you said, your cat jumping up to sit on you.

Y'know how it works love, can't tell you that

He was right, another stupid rule was that if one soulmate attempted to send a message containing information about where they were or where they lived, the information would be corrupted, all the other would hear is muffled speech.

"I'll leave you to it then my love" you said quietly.

Okay love, rest well. Get someone to come round and look after you

"I'll try." you said. You managed to open your eyes, the world spinning a lot less now, the same throbbing in your head like someone was constantly playing a drum in there. You picked up your phone texting your best friend.

"Hey. Not well. Please come save me 😂" you typed, short sentences will have to do you thought.

"coming" was all you received back. Your friend arrived 10 minutes later, as she lived close by. She let herself in calling your name, to which you just groaned.

"Oh c'mon you big baby, it can't be that bad" she said upon seeing you.

"That's easy for you to say. You don't have what feels like someone kicking your head in every 2 seconds" you said, groaning when she tried pulling you up from your seat.

"We're going for a walk, the fresh air will do you good." she said, forcing your shoes on your feet.

"Really? I'm not well" you pouted.

"C'mon you need air" she said, pulling you up and to the door.

You began walking, every few steps you had to stop and shut your eyes, your vision became blurry and your head pounded and pounded with every step. You could see green again, a park?

"Hey it's okay, I've got you I'm here, Cmon sit down" she said, leading you to a bench.

Another vision: a bench?

Another one: two women?

Another one: a dog jumping excitedly

What was that?: An American Akita?

"This isn't working" you groaned loudly, your vision coming back to you, you looked around you, you were in a park, surrounded by green.

"Oh my god" you said, your head pounding, like a drum getting louder. You stood suddenly, your feet hurt but they carried you forward, you didn’t want to be walking but your body had other plans, your legs hurt... Everything hurt.

What's happening? You heard him say

You were falling, falling, your head throbbing more than ever, just as you were about to hit the ground, you felt something soft... Hands? You opened your eyes briefly, two blue eyes, the left had a bit of brown in it

 And then? Nothing.

The next thing you know, you were lying on the pavement, your head no longer hurt... That's good you thought. You opened your eyes, seeing the same blue eyes, your heart felt like it exploded, your back shooting up from the ground on its own accord, turning to look at the man.

"Oh my god" you cried, he was here, you found him.

"Told you to rest, love" he said, somehow making a joke out of it, but he had tears in his eyes too. You wrapped your arms around him, him pulling you to his chest.

"It's okay I've got you love, I've got you" he said, hugging you like he was never going to let go.

"You found me" you said, pulling back to look into his eyes.

"I found you alright" he said, nodding as tears fell from his eyes.

"Henry" you said, suddenly knowing his name as if you'd always known it, you knew everything there was to know about him, and he you.

"Y/N" he uttered, his hand grasping your face tightly in his hand, bringing it closer to his so he could finally kiss you. His lips were perfect against yours, it was everything everyone told you it would be, nothing but heightened emotions, destiny and fate.

"I love you so much" he uttered against your lips.

"I love you too" you replied, pulling back from the kiss.

"How's the head?" he said, his fingers rubbing at your temple.

[another-dr-another]

insert those coins babey! no point in holding onto them if they aren't used !

You Now Own:

001 - Mineral Water (x2)

Drawn from the ocean depths and rigorously purified. Ideal for a modern on-the-go public unsatisfied with tap water.

002 - Sea Salt

A basic seasoning produced from the evaporation of seawater. It also sees use as a preservative.

003 - Ration

A set of canned and vacuum-sealed foodstuffs. The taste isn't bad, and a certain snake that wants to play hide-and-go-seek is just crazy abou- wait, what?

005 - Ramune

A sweet, lemon-flavored carbonated drink. A marble plugs the opening of the uniquely designed bottle. The bottle can also be reused if you bring it to the ramune store.

010 - Ship In a Bottle

A intricate creation, a model ship within a bottle. Made with time, love and care.

012 - Envy-Enducing Envy CD

A CD of songs by Japanese band Envy. Full of unreleased tracks/first recordings.

014 - Children's Book

A children's book about family and forgiveness! The plot is about a sister who can't get along with her younger brother, but they find common ground and bond over causing trouble for their parents.

016 - Sour Soda (x2)

No flavor is listed on the bottle other than sour, which may just be a flavor in and of itself. It's a near black shade of blue... I think.

017 - Gentleman's Guide

A book that's meant to help shape you into the perfect gentleman. However, it's rather demeaning towards the reader, which doesn't feel very gentleman-ly.

018 - Masculine Cologne

Very masculine, can only be used by masculine people. No weaklings allowed, or people with the common sense to smell it before purchasing, and realize it smells really bad.

019 - Fancy Sword

True to it’s name, it looks very fancy, and very intimidating. However, it's only for show, and rather blunt- perhaps inexpensive?

022 - ??? Alcohol

It's something alcoholic. This is a school, it should be confiscated, and you won't be receiving any more information.

024 - Hair Cutting Scissors

Snip snip snip, meant for hair-cutting at home, as these aren’t professional grade. Still though, try and make it even, okay?

025 - Purple Hair Dye

Pretty purple hair dye guaranteed to not come out of hair for weeks! More of a pinkish-purple than the box advertised, but still pretty.

028 - Constellation Skirt

With patterns matching actual real constellations. Despite matching the night sky, it almost seems sun-rise themed, with its pink background and pale gold stars.

030 - Bottled Tea

When heated up, it's meant to help soothe upset stomachs, and muscle aches. Popular among student athletes.

031 - Alarm Clock

It's a digital alarm clock. One of the few normal and functional things here, and it's the thing that screams at you to wake up every morning.

032 - Broken Stopwatch (x2)

It won't stop running, no pausing or restarting. You can however make it record different laps.

034 - Baseball Cap

Perfect for keeping the sun out of your face! This one is all black though, so it'll retain a lot of heat.

038 - Card Game (x3)

One easy to play, and popular among kids. The front side of the package shows a family of four playing.

039 - Reminder Booklet

A small pamphlet that gives reminders for daily things, such as eating, drinking, taking meds, etc. Also has room for you to add in unique personalized reminders.

041 - Tiovita

A Japanese energy drink sold at most convenience stores. Pretty inexpensive, and with a nice fruity flavor- but hey, only one per day!

044 - Lie Detector (x2)

Fun for the whole family! Though not incredibly accurate... wait, how do you know that?

045 - Evidence Encylopedia

A book focusing on evidence found in crime scenes. From most overlooked to most common, this book talks about it all.

049 - Track Award

A award from a middle school track and field award. The recipient of the trophy seems to have come in second in two events, and first in one.

050 - Plane Tickets (x2)

Anywhere, anytime, round trip tickets. Probably given as some sort of thank you for volunteering to get off of a accidentally over-booked flight.

051 - Therapy Advertisement (x2)

Some therapist endorsing themselves. Upon looking at the services they offer, I don't feel very inspired to go there.

056 - Soulmate Sweatshirt

A sweatshirt that supposedly brings the most comfort not when you wear it, but when holding someone wearing it. Currently smells strongly of... lavender?

057 - Scrap Metal x3

Seems to be broken bits and pieces of some sort of engine. Could be repurposed, or simply a cool trinket.

059 - Old Journal

It seems to be from the late 80s, and kept being written in up to the early 90s. There's a entry on the last page, synopsizing the birth of the owners son, and how proud the owner is of his now five year old.

060 - Paper Boat

A piece of paper that's been folded into a boat. Apparently you can fold and tear it as you tell a story to provide a visual aid for the story, but no one here knows how.

061 - Calendar

It's got pictures of internationally famous towns on it! This particular one has been written on with a note on almost every day.

064 - Face-paint Kit.

A professional face-painting kit. However, it’s missing it’s red, yellow, blue and white paint- those colors have been all used up.

065 - Life Quote Sign (x3)

A sign with some stereotypical life quote written on it in flowery lettering. Most likely to be seen hanging in a kitchen.

066 - Throwing Rings (x2)

Meant for fair games. If you have good enough aim, maybe you'll win a prize!

067 - Pleasant Savior

Seemingly a CD filled with various performances by the same person. I haven't played the CD, so I don't know what kind of performances he does though, and the name is off-putting.

069 - “Fresh” Bouquet (x3)

Somehow still smells sweet with flowers that look flawless. It's comprised of roses that have been dyed rainbow, all of them.

070 - Hair Ribbons (x3)

They come in a variety of colors, but the Monomono Machine only dispenses yellow. Guaranteed to make the wearer feel a certain sense of self-satisfaction.

071 - Girls Profile

A student profile from a all-girls academy. The paper is water-stained and some of the ink has run, so it's hard to make out what's on the paper.

073 - Baby Doll

It seems to be from around the 90s and... not quite well-loved, but well-played-with. Doesn't come with the original clothes... or hair.

075 - Dream Catcher

Made by a past SHSL. It's actually been pretty effective, and is part of the reason they got scouted.

080 - Retro Game

It's handheld, old, and extremely broken. The screen has been shattered so it displays wrong, all cracked and distorted.

081 - Blackout Curtains (x2)

Completely block out any and all light. Strong enough to plunge a room into darkness.

084 - Noise-cancelling Headphones

They completely block out all sound! Also come with the ability to adjust the size of the band, and will stay on your ears even if you pull the band down to your neck.

086 - Wall Decals

Stickers you can put on your wall. They do a decent job of covering up holes in said walls.

087 - Antique Stuffed Animal (x2)

It seems to be bunny themed, and dressed in clothes you'd see on babies in the 1930s. It's in pretty good shape, other than a few tears where the lace trim at the end has had it’s stitches removed.

088 - Embroidery Kit

Or rather, a needle and thread to be used for embroidery. There's only one needle, and one spool of thread, but hey, it’s something.

090 - Scented Markers (x2)

A full rainbow set, all with their own unique smell! Be careful though - it's hard to get these out of clothes.

092 - Fake Christmas Tree (x2)

Too plastic to be a real tree. It's also incredibly small, but real trees can be small too, so that doesn’t really mess with the realism.

093 - Hair Gel

Top of the line hair gel, and completely unopened! Helps you style your hair and keep it in place, but doesn’t give it the nicest texture.

095 - Instant Noodles

Just add water to get something hot, salty, and/or spicy! A nice meal if you're looking for something that's quick and easy, you can dress it up some too.

097 - Drink Mix

A powder used for ??? warm drink, made with milk, tastes like... something? You try it and tell me, but it smells good at the least.

099 - The DSM-I

Self-explanatory, it's the original version of the DSM, from 1952. Index cards have been slipped in-between most of the pages, talking about what happened with the information listed there.

100 - Collection Of Old Ads

Dating back to the 1920s. A magazine full of ads from a different time, it’s somewhat of a miracle the paper held up while the ideas in it didn’t.

101 - Wooden Ruler

It's a wooden ruler. Used for measuring things, nothing else- why do you ask?

102 - Building Blocks (x3)

Stacking and stacking, and sending it all crumbling down. And then you rinse and repeat.

104 - Cutesy Hair Clips

Snap clips in pastel colors and covered in designs. Oddly enough, there isn't any non-pastels, unless you count the few white clips.

106 - Newspaper Collage

Seems to be a collection of snippets from newspaper articles. There must be hundreds in here... it's a big collage.

107 - Cropped Sweatshirt

Cropped specifically due to a parent saying not to. The sweatshirt seems to be related to some organization, with the big fancy emblem on it.

109 - Pins And Patches

A mix-and-match bag full of enamel pins, buttons, and iron-on patches. Good luck finding something to do with them all.

110 - Origami Paper (x2)

Simple origami paper, in a variety of colors and patterns! Comes easy to tear out of a book, which includes instructions on basic origami types.

112 - Colorful Band-Aids.

They come in many colors, designs, even different sizes. Some seem to be made to cover up paper cuts, others meant to help skinned knees and scraped elbows.

Thank you for visiting the Monomono Machine!

~*~

Maeda, narrating - And I thought the coins were kinda heavy...

Maeda - What now?

[Free Time Event - Uehara]

{Head to Your Room}

[musedblues]

Born To Love You [Part: 3]

summary: When Gwilym ropes you into a lie, the truth becomes painfully obvious. When Joe makes things harder, there's no telling if he even has a clue.

a/n: Forgive me for taking a while! Life has been properly wild. And I was taking my time with this story anyway, I really want each chapter to be special...  So I hope you lot dig this one! All the feedback and love continues to overflow my little old heart! 💖

w/c: 6k

Part 4

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

If you got to have it your way, you'd avoid going on set and gladly greet Gwilym every night and odd day off. But if Gwilym wouldn't take no for an answer, you did your best to hide out in his trailer, avoid suspicion and keep your fake husband happy all the same. But because Gwilym had made such fast friends of his co-stars, some invitations were unavoidable. When Ben called you both to join him and the others for lunch in some posh garden lodge, you slapped on a big grin and agreed.

The lodge was back behind a mess of trees, it's sign faded by the sun that shone down on the place like it was on display by the heavens. You followed behind Gwil on a gravel path. And before you could reach the steps that lead to the eatery, a voice called out from the opposite fork in the trail.

"Hey!" Ben's recognizable timbre echoed from behind a row of trees, as you whipped your head to see him waving from the bench of a weathered picnic table.

The rest of the cast had taken over a small jungle gym. Rami claimed the only swing, its rickety bubblegum poles threatening to uproot. Lucy and Joe were squealing on opposite ends of a seesaw. And when Joe noticed you and Gwilym had joined the picnic table across the way, he practically launched Lucy off of her end of the equipment in his hurry to come and greet you.

And there it was again; that look. The one Joe gave you when you met. The one that made your heart stir just thinking about it. If his gaze painted your daydrems, meeting his eyes in real time was spellbinding. This was why you stayed away. Because you couldn’t help but stare. 

Olive cackled in your arms as Lucy cursed Joe's name from the place she'd fallen in the mulch. All at once everyone passed around warm greetings, then hurried back to the play place, arguing over turns to help Olive down the slide like antsy siblings on the first day of recess.

"Alright, I invited you all here for the food! We can have fun later. I'm starving." Ben coxed, waving for everyone to follow him indoors at last. You had just beaten Rami at a rain worn hopscotch game painted on the path that led inside. He kept walking to follow Ben, and when you turned back, you spotted Joe lifting Olive up and pointing to a pair of sparrows settled on a branch near the play place.

The only thing that stopped you from melting into a puddle was catching Gwilym's eye. There was a smile behind his expression and a look in his gaze, a little like a warning, but more like a dare.

"Joe, I would ask if you want children one day but the answer seems pretty obvious." Lucy laughed on her saunter toward your side.

"You should really be asking Rami these kinds of questions, Lucy," Joe said, causing Gwilym to laugh hard. Lucy linked her arm with yours, leading you away from the scene and toward a steadier heartbeat, you hoped.

The lodge was made up of a couple of dozen miss-matched tables and chairs, occupied by a few other chilly looking patrons sipping warm drinks. There was even a small gift shop in the corner, where most of your crew scattered toward.

You followed Gwil to a cozy little table and left Olive in his lap while you took his order to the counter across the room. A sweet young girl with warm curls and the perfect smile was happy to hand you a couple of pastries and informed that someone would bring out the hot drinks you ordered. You thanked her and eased to rest across from Gwilym and your girl.

You mindlessly noshed on sweet blueberry bread when your drinks came but you failed to ignore when Joe flirted with the girl behind the pastry counter. Gwilym wasn't helping. He offered no distractions, or conversation as you listened in on Joe's sickening exchange with the girl who had just been as nice to you.

"A large vanilla frappe and a complimentary cinnamon muffin because you're so sweet." The freckle-faced girl giggled, repeating back his order with a special modification of her own.

Joe was genuinely thankful at the gesture, a treat from the universe. He lingered in front of the counter a little longer, but you had to block out the continued chat. Something like this seemed to happen every time you'd wound up near Joe.

You noticed when he got free muffins, favorite songs on the car radio, pennies on the sidewalk. He cradled these gifts and called them his own, because they were. And it was a precious sight to behold. You couldn't shake the wish splintered within you; that you might be one of those things he held onto so dearly.

"Hey!" Gwilym actually threw a raisin at you. It bounced from your brow onto the floor as you turned back in shock.

"Stop staring you look like a sad puppy," Gwilym warned through his teeth, holding Olive in his lap as she reached for the cup of tea he lifted to his lips.

You let out a sorry whine as a memory of your arrival at the top of this hill flashed across your mind. Joe's shimmering eyes locking onto yours while something electric buzzed through his glare. You slumped your head onto the marble tabletop and continued to pathetically groan like Tina from Bob's Burgers.

"Am I... interrupting something?" Joe's stupidly recognizable voice cut through your self-pity. You just lifted your head with a neutral smile.

He pulled up a seat from a mismatched table, setting his drink down. You reached for your own and leaned back, pretending to be preoccupied with your coffee. Joe cast a curious look to Gwilym who was sharing apple slices with his daughter.

"Must be nap time." Gwilym stretched a silly smile across his face looking to Joe.

"Ha ha." You mocked.

"You guys gotta try this muffin," Joe demanded.

You let out a hopeless chuckle while Gwilym shook his head at you with a sorry grin. It was such an unfunny, funny little predicament you found yourself in. Maybe laughing about it was good. Maybe you were getting through this...

"There's a bar upstairs!" Lucy chirped, skipping over to settle between Gwilym and Joe, bringing along a chair, it legs scraping on the hardwood. The other boys followed...

"And there's a band playing in an hour." The girl was making plans, casting big eyes to the boys who knew the question behind her statement. Lucy explained that Rami had already planned to sleep the rest of his weekend off and that she was desperate to have a little fun. Joe had plans with Ben, and Gwilym was exhausted, too. 

"I'll pay for our drinks and our ride back." Lucy turned her big sad eyes your way.

"You should stay! We can manage, just us two, done it before haven't we?" Gwilym spoke up, bouncing Olive in his lap. It was a sweet offer but the way he alluded to being on his own with Olive made your heart clench. It was almost like he wanted someone to find out you weren’t so often around each other. You noticed a look on Ben's face, pushed in brows at the sound of Gwilym's tone.

"Are you sure?" You asked, almost reminding him that you were supposed to be acting like you'd never spent a day without each other since your made up honeymoon.

"Yeah, of course," Gwyilm assured, softer now. And whatever worry had sprouted in you, was settled with the nod of Gwilym's head. You took note then of how he always knew just how to put you at ease, even if he hadn't realized he was the one who caused your apprehension.  

///

Upstairs was made up of fairy lights, a well stocked mini bar, a small stage where an old married couple sat strumming guitars, and very few audience members. And while you and Lucy did your best to clap after every song, you just wound up getting lost in conversation.

Lucy was on her third cocktail. You stuck to water after your second. And between drinks, you laughed over nothing in the way that made your heart ache with melancholy for the day moments like this were only memories.

When there was more ice in her drink than alcohol, Lucy started in on some monologue about life, and love, and Rami. She rambled about how she felt about him, and how she was sure he must have felt about her.

You had no doubt that they were close to perfect for each other. But Lucy headed into chattering about their first fight, and how petrified of losing him she was. How she wanted to shower Rami with love, but was afraid she wasn't good enough for the job.

"Did you feel that way with Gwil at first? How are things now, after so long together?" Lucy seemed to plead for her own clarity.

You let out a humorless chuckle. "Things with us have always been... complicated." You thought,  choosing your words carefully even in your happily buzzed state. Lucy kept her gaze zeroed in on you, waiting to hear more.

"Even now. We've never been better... or worse. All at once." You gave a shrug, and Lucy raised her brow in obvious surprise.

You and Gwil always talked about things before diving into them together. That changed when he missed the opportunity to take back his usually forgivable lie. But the talking stopped. Life with Gwyilm became uncomfortably familiar. You'd never shared so many wordless looks.

"Well, better is good, yeah?" Lucy gently suggested, more like she was hoping for herself.

"Yeah, I guess so." You decided, because that's all you could do. That seemed good enough for Lucy, as she sat up with a new speech in mind.

"I want the rest of this year, this time we all have together, to be nothing but fun." Lucy pointed, stringing her words a little closer together than anyone with a clearer head might have. The pretty girl rambled about how her sister was opening a gallery the first of the new year, and how she was inviting you and Gwil and neither of you could back out. Saying something about how if you all started the new year out together, then you'd be surreptitiously inclined to be the best of friends for the rest of all time.

"But I'm getting ahead of myself." Lucy giggled, grabbing onto your arm, shooting you a look that warned she was scheming. You grinned back, turning to face her all the way, setting your glass of water aside.

"Joe's birthday is soon and I'm planning something big. Something we can all do together, for him." Lucy declared. You felt every muscle in your face automatically reacting to pull your smile into a frown. But with every bit of sober strength you still had, you put on your best poker face and reached out for your drink you'd only just abandoned.

"What did you have in mind?" You asked, hoping you sounded more curious than cautious. Lucy burst into a laugh as you sipped your drink to keep from panicking out loud.

"I don't have a single clue yet." Lucy laughed with a sigh. "But it's going to be great."

///

As you sneaked back into your Airbnb you felt grateful for the night of fun with Lucy. It was the first time you'd been away from Gwil and Olive since this whole big thing started, and as the night went on you'd found yourself missing their usual constant presence. You'd get that in the morning, with a catch. Joe.

Gwilym had planned a big day out, buying tickets to the aquarium and talking about how excited he was to roam around for a day, no schedules or work to worry over. He'd invited Joe knowing the guy had no plans all weekend, no family nearby, nothing better to do.

When the morning came, and Gwil gushed over breakfast about what he was looking forward to the most, you let that be enough. You let Olive’s claps of the agreement be your fuel for gearing up to go out.

And when Joe knocked on your door wearing a withheld grin and a warm jumper, you stepped back to let him in, turning your eyes toward the carpet so he couldn't see you blush. Maybe he noticed though, because when you looked back up, Joe was still waiting to meet your gaze.

Gwilym was quick to greet his friend, ushering everyone out of the door Joe had only just entered. Today was going to be a good one, you told yourself so.

After parking the car, you watched Gwil wrestle to unfold a new stroller. Joe chuckled when his friend denied help, insisting he had to figure it out on his own. Eventually, he did, buckling Olive in triumphantly. The effort must have exhausted your fake husband because he made a b-line for a coffee shop around the corner while you and Joe took shots at poking fun at Gwil.

You stood guard next to Olive in her brand new ride while Gwilym raced to patiently wait in the long coffee shop line. Joe stood near you, debating on joining Gwil, but decided against ordering anything.

As you distracted yourself by checking your cell, you heard Gwilym's warm chuckle from across the room. The sound was familiar enough for you to gaze up curiously, finding the guy with his arms crossed, leaning closer to listen to some woman in line speak just to him.

Gwilym was kind to everyone, always keen to listen. Everyone loved Gwilym. And whether you were near or not, plenty of people had taken their shot at flirting with the handsome man. You were hardly phased in those cases and were usually quick to poke fun at his attempts to flirt back. But when the girl in front of Gwilym kept spinning in line to gaze up and bite her lip as he spoke, you rolled your eyes. When he reached out to nudge her to keep the line moving, a faint bout of resentment threatened to wash over you.

You quickly decided that it was because Gwilym had done such a marvelous job at testing your nerves this week, and the feelings you'd been trying to push away were looking for an excuse to creep back up. So you started to bring your phone closer to view, but then your eyes swept over Joe.

His gaze was unsettled, watching Gwilym shamelessly flirt back with the girl, even after she ordered her coffee and lingered too close while he ordered his.

"Uh..." Joe uttered, starting to look back at you with a troubled frown.

"It's okay." You quickly shut down whatever Joe might have wanted to say next. You hadn't expected him to accept this with a shrug, but you needed Joe to stop looking at you like he was. You realized that anything you might have said next would probably worsen things , so you just gave Joe a small shake of your head, silently asking him not to worry about it.

That's when Gwilym approached, seemingly clueless of the thin ice he'd just skated away from. You shot him a look on your way back outside and managed to shift into a comfortable chatter as you led the way toward the aquarium. So far the morning was just as awkward as you feared it might have been, and with that thought, you decided you could manage. You'd learned how to attach yourself to Gwil, and how to save your swooning for Joe when you were alone at the end of the day.

As you approached the aquarium, Gwilym's phone rang. He groaned when his agent's name flashed across the screen, excusing himself a few feet away to answer.

You settled onto a bench as Olive pointed toward your bag, babbling in a way you understood. You reached in and revealed a small stuffed elephant much to your daughter's delight. When you handed the thing to her, she held it right back up,

"Joe!" The kid caught your guest's attention as he sat next to you, taking the toy from Olive with overblown thanks.

"You sure you wanna spend your day entertaining her?" You asked Joe through a warning laugh. Now that she had his attention, she'd likely long to keep it that way.

"Gladly." Joe looked at you as he answered. Luckily, Olive called out his name again so you both had a reason to look away.

That's when you noticed Gwil approaching while his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

"They want me and Ben to come in right bloody now." He huffed, gazing up to the entrance of the place he'd made big plans to spend the day exploring.

"For how long?" You wondered.

Gwilym didn't know, lulling his head back clearly at a loss. He had to go, but what about you? You couldn't just not take Olive in with the way you'd been promising her this adventure all week.

"I'll email you guys the tickets to get in... I'll try and meet back up soon. Unless you want a ride back with me, Joe..." Gwilym offered, knowing there was no reason the guy had to spend his afternoon with his best friend's fake wife.

"I'll stay..." Joe decided, but hesitantly. "If that's alright?" He looked at you, seeming to realize, or at least recognize for the first time, that this was strange.

You nodded to the man with fossils for eyes, and made a mental note to scold Gwilym later. After a rushed goodbye, Gwilym sulked off. You felt bad that he was suddenly called away, knowing how excited he had been for this day. But then there was Joe. He seemed happy. And you weren't about to take this sudden change of plans for granted, no matter how your guts twisted up on your walk inside, alone together.

///

Olive was purely enchanted by the sea life. Giant radiant fish glided above your heads in expansive tanks. It was like stepping into another dim, quiet world.

"Bird!" Olive pointed up to a slow-moving sting ray. You figured she'd like the aquarium based on her fascination with things with wings, but this wasn't exactly the same.

"No, fish." You corrected, pointing up.

"No, scary." Joe joked, pointing to a larger, more intimidating looking sea creature. Your eyes searched the plaque on the wall that told what types of fish swam through the tank you stood near.

"Oh my God, look." You laughed, stepping closer to the wall. "It's called a Guitarfish." You pointed to the display and looked back into the tank at the skinny, oddly shaped stingray that you now recognized as half-shark. Joe shared in your laughter and stepped closer to take a photo of the plaque.

"Thanks for inviting me to this death trap." Joe laughed, as you three eased into the shark exhibit. It was a bit jarring, surrounded by walls of water where ancient monsters floated just feet away from you.

"They're just dinosaurs, ya know?" You mused, setting Olive on her feet and watching her shuffle closer to the glass where a sand tiger shark floated right by her face. You noticed another plaque and spun toward Joe with a smile, pointing to the fish behind his back.

"That one's name is Bungle. See? Loveable and harmless."

"It says here you can swim with them," Joe smirked, stepping closer to read what you just had.

"Okay, well maybe that's taking it a little too far." You laughed.

"Why? They're harmless dinosaurs, right?" Joe chuckled. You watched Olive watching the sharks glide by as Joe spun off into a story about Jurassic Park. Families cruised through pointing and chatting as you stood against the wall, listening to the guy you'd been avoiding until now.

When Olive ran back toward you pair and reached her arms up to Joe, he scooped her up without missing a beat and kept on telling his story. You laughed and listened and let yourself become completely entranced by the daydream you were living.

This was it, you decided. As good as it gets. When today was over, you'd let yourself have it, and then you'd move on. No more yearning. No more hopeless gazes right in Joe's direction. This was it.

The turtles were a big hit, and you were personally taken with the octopus exhibit. But the room full of penguins obviously took the cake.

"These are birds!" You excitedly chirped, probably a little more excited than Olive about the scenario. She clapped her hands together, all the same, dashing toward the glass. You sat on the floor next to her and watched a group of penguins waddle toward where you sat. Olive waved and pointed and squealed accordingly. Even though you had to remind her to use her inside voice, you felt just as overjoyed that this experience was a win.

"We can leave if you'd like." You assured Joe when he appeared next to you after another family cleared the area.

"Absolutely not!" Joe demanded, sitting on the other side of Olive who was glued to the glass of the exhibit. "This is obviously our reward for making it out of the shark tank alive."

You sat there forever, watching Olive travel back and forth when the penguins would jump in the water. Then came the gift shop. Olive picked out a plush penguin, and Joe corralled you both to the storybook section where he put on a dramatic reading of a magazine about jellyfish.

You left the aquarium and stepped out to the golden hour. The afternoon was still new, but your eyes felt heavy after all the fun had been left inside the aquarium.

"I think I'd like to find that coffee shop again." You spoke up, rubbing your eyes as they adjusted to the new light.

Joe insisted on buying your drink since you'd treated him to today's grand adventure. You eventually obliged upon arrival, settling into a cozy booth by a window. Olive had curled up in the curve of the booth next to you, with your jacket bunched under her head, fast asleep.

You praised God that naptime had found its way into the afternoon schedule and took some time to send James and Andy photos of Olive pointing at giant sharks. That's when Joe reappeared with two plastic cups of coffee. You greeted him with a grateful thanks.

"These photos turned out so well. I was just sending them to my roommates." You explained, clicking your phone off altogether.

"You have roommates?" Joe wondered, sipping his own latte and leaning across the table with his head propped in his hand. Oh, shit. You and Joe had grown increasingly comfortable with each other during your aquatic escapade, but you surely weren't dumb enough to slip up so carelessly.

"Used to." You falsely corrected. "Lived together so long, sometimes I forget." You let out a breathy laugh, wrapping your fingers around your warm styrofoam mug and thanking Joe again for being so kind.

His hair was a little windblown, and his eyes seemed tired. The warm coffee shop was certainly a change of pace from walking the chilly London streets. But the conversation was just as easy as it had been always. Joe texted you the photo of the guitarfish plaque and you spoke about things that you each marveled over as children. When you started cracking up over some silly joke, Olive sat up and was ready to party all over again. You started to brush back her matted curls, but she clamored away from you and toward Joe, around the curve of the booth.

"You don't have to put up with her, ya know?" You reminded as Olive climbed into Joe's lap before you could stop her. But Joe welcomed the baby's embrace, sipping his coffee all the same.

"I really don't mind. We're like, best friends now. Right?" Joe looked down at Olive, who responded by wrapping her tiny arms around Joe's neck. Oh God, you should have never come to London.

But soon your coffee's were gone, and Olive was clearly ready for dinner. Without much discussion, you ended up in a small bistro with a friendly atmosphere. Olive demanded orange juice, and some came in a novelty sippy cup.

"That's way too fun. I'm so about to get one of those for myself." Joe decided, laughing over the boldly designed sippy cup. He really did order one for himself and kept pretending to steal Olive's and forgetting his own, making her laugh like crazy. You were just about to take a photo of the scene when your phone rang. It was Gwilym.

"Hello?"

"Hi," Gwilym greeted seeming sorry.

"Good day?" You wondered, unsure what else to say as a pang of strange guilt crept up inside of you.

"I'm just about to leave the city. Do you need a ride home? Should I pick up dinner?"

"No, no, wait where are you?"

Gwilym was literally a street away from where you were. So you demanded he come and enjoy the last half of your adventure. Joe was happy to hear your party was growing in size, and a kind waitress brought Olive a set of crayons and some paper to keep her from going crazy while stationed in a high chair.

That was about the time Gwilym showed up. He shouldered past a few patrons and laid eyes on you and Joe in an instant. Olive was holding out a crayon to Joe, babbling to him while he listened intently.

Gwil should have been jealous, or oddly territorial, right? He wondered if he should have even pretended to be. But Gwilym only felt a huge swell of happiness, watching you all laugh. He felt happy to see you happy for once. Because for a while now, your smile had mostly been for show.

When Gwilym approached your table, you couldn't even hold back your cheesy grin, while you rested your crayon and greeted him. Before he sat down, Gwilym gave you the strangest look. As if he'd just watched the end of a very satisfying movie. Like he'd just seen something unexpected come together.

Gwilym sat next to Joe, and the two made a show of reuniting. Then you both got to telling of the fun you had while Gwil was away, and even though a lingering sadness pulled at you, knowing Gwil was sad to have missed out, he seemed charmed by your stories. For the rest of the evening you all spent together, you kept crossing your fingers behind your back every time laughing at Joe's jokes seemed easy. You kept wishing this would somehow become as normal as it felt.

///

The weather was worse than dreary, the sky black with rain and fog clouding your view out of every window. Gwilym had been extra busy after the weekend break, so there wasn't much of a chance for you to visit him on set. As a result, Olive was going a bit stir crazy. 

You did your best to keep the girl entertained with the children's channel permanently playing on the flat screen, attempting to build a fort in the living room. But it wasn't enough for Olive. She started tossing toys away with frustrated whines and wailing when she didn't like the breakfast you cooked, even though it was her favorite. And the crying got worse as you wrestled her for bath time and offered teething toys she just didn't want.

Going on day three of her never-ending tantrum, you were exhausted. And even though you barely slept, you were out cold when Gwilym made it home, and you hadn't heard him leave before you woke up. Your morning started when Olive wept from her cot, hardly soothed by your attempts to cuddle her frustrations away.

By the middle of the afternoon, you sat on the edge of the sofa, waiting for your poor daughter's next big breakdown. This time, it came with a warning. Olive stood on the opposite side of the coffee table, staring right at you as she reached for a cup full of juice.

You called out her name, warning her to be careful, giving her a chance. But the kid tossed the cup to the floor, the lid falling off, red seeping into the rented shag rug. She wasn't two yet. The days weren't supposed to be so terrible. You called out her name, standing to stop her from crawling away. The babe burst into upsetting cries, knowing she was in trouble. You placed her in the playpen across the room, taking her favorite toy bat as the only punishment you could think up in your frazzled, fatigued state. And while you rushed to clean up the stain to the tune of your daughter's sobs, you cried too.  

Maybe Olive missed home. Maybe you did too.

"Hello-oh." Gwilym dropped his bags by the door and cautiously floated toward where you slumped against the coffee table. Olive was still wailing, and you were practically despondent and equally as tear-stained.

"Hi," You mewled as Gwilym held a hand out to. He shot you a sorry frown as he guided you to sit on the sofa.

Olive remained wailing, and you both knew something had to be done quickly or the baby would go permanently insane. Gwilym spun on his heels, noticing Olive's favorite toy bat on the coffee table. He picked it up, you thought, as an easy fix for her crying.

"Wait!" You plead. Gwilym looked to you in confusion as you hurried to explain yourself. "She's in time out. If you give that back, you'll be the good guy. I'll be the bad guy and I can't be the bad guy while I'm alone with her all day." You were panicking. You felt the walls closing in. You had to come back from this.

Gwilym listened as he slowly walked back toward you. Olive's cries were somehow dulled as she watched the two of you interact.

"She spilled juice all over the rug. I tried to clean it up but it's still kind of there. That's not even the half of it, though." You slumped forward, running your fingers through your hair.

"Then here, darling." Gwilym knelt before you, placing the plastic bat in your lap. He clasped one of his hands over your knee to get your attention. "You give it back to her, later."

Just the simple act of expressing your pent up frustration was a load off your shoulders. 

"We'll run to the store for carpet cleaner. We'll even take the long way home so you can have a bit of quiet." Gwil assured.

"You don't have to take her, I know you've had a long day and-" You started.

"I'm gonna." Gwilym chuckled. He took your hand, placed it over the toy bat in your lap and gave a decided nod. "I'm sorry I've been away. And I'm sorry the week has been so hard. But I'm very glad you came to stay, for what it's worth."

You nodded, furrowing your brow. "Thank you Gwil."

With another small nod, he stood to collect your daughter, and you stood to go draw a bath. This might have been your only chance to relax for the rest of the foreseeable future. As you rounded the corner, before the door shut behind him you heard Gwilym talking to Olive,

"You've got to stop causing your mummy so much trouble. That's my job."

You wanted to laugh, but you knew you'd only cry. Because he made you want to shake his shoulders and sense into his head. But you really couldn't believe how much you relied on him. You considered this during a steam-filled bubble bath, and crawled into bed for a nap when you just couldn't think any longer.

///

You woke up to dull thuds of rain against the window, the smell of food in the air. Your daughter was babbling in the other room, and the sounds of pots and pans rattled you all the way awake.

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes to find Olive flipping through big picture books in the low lit living area. A little further away, Gwilym was shutting the oven door when he noticed you.

"Hello! I got the stain out of the carpet and picked up some extra bits for dinner." The guy smiled kindly, turning back toward the stove when steam started to billow. You took a beat to watch on in wonder before thanking Gwil profusely for going above and beyond saving the day- the week rather.

Everything was back to normal, with a little help from the father of your child. "Oh, and I've got a surprise for later!" Gwilym echoed as you eased further into the kitchen.

Right when you were about to ask what the hell Gwilym was on about, a Facetime call from James lit up your phone screen. You answered in a flash, greeting your dearest friend like you hadn't spoken in years.

You settled onto the floor next to Olive who was just as pleased to see your roommate on your phone screen. You only stood when she kept threatening to chew on your phone case, and floated toward the kitchen where Gwil was happily working away.

"And how's the happy couple?" James jeered like usual, as you propped your phone against the counter. But instead of laughing, or giving some exaggerated answer like you always would, your face fell. Gwil shifted from the stove, noticing your expression as he turned down one of the burners.

"Tell him." Gwilym softly suggested, stepping closer as if to encourage you. You'd never planned to tell anyone. You weren't sure what to say, but you wondered if getting this lie off your chest to someone who it hardly affected might help, somehow.

"Uh, guys..." James pipped up.

"Actually, allow me to begin." Gwilym stepped further into the frame as you took his place string dinner on the stovetop.

"Oh, of course, our third wheel! Was I crazy in expecting this video chat date to be a one on one?" James wildly drew. You chuckled from behind Gwil, watching him lean both arms against the counter.

"Where's our fourth wheel?" You jeered from across the room. "This car is running like shite." You laugh. You missed Andy, and the comforting chaos your two roommates provided.

"Listen" Gwilym brought the focus back to the matter at hand. "I wanted to start by saying that I messed up and I really wish I hadn't. And every time I suggest making things right, your darling Y/N stops me." 

Gwilym was obviously immensely regretful, but you were both in too deep. You had been long before he perpetuated the lie. But he still should have cleared the air from ever becoming even more sticky.

He went on explaining the whole situation to James, who listened without piping up once. James was never speechless. You must have really fucked up.

"You guys. I'm going to ask you something and I'm gonna need the honest, raw truth." James wasn't being funny anymore. You drifted closer into the frame, watching your best friends pixelated form lean close.

"Do either of you have feelings for each other? At all?" James questioned.

He'd asked this before, in a much more lighthearted manner. You and Gwilym had always been sickeningly doting to one another, giving the circumstances. Like one morning, very soon after finding out you were pregnant, you pleaded for Gwilym to spend the night simply to keep you company. The morning after, you both burst into a fit of giggles over breakfast, waking James from his bedroom down the hall. "Are you two shaggin' again?" He groaned. "God, no." You laughed.

"They bang, or whatever." James once said when introducing Gwil and a very pregnant you to some of his coworkers at a party. "We don't, actually!" You corrected. But Gwilym's hand was already splayed across your shoulder. James coworkers fixated their stares on your pregnant stomach and looked back up to you as if to prove a point. And you spent the rest of the party explaining that even though you used to bang Gwil, didn't mean you still were or even wanted to. Because you didn't. But you wanted to want to.

"No!" You sighed in frustration, after considering all of that. James' digital eyebrows rose as if to give you a second chance.

"Look. She's telling the truth mate. I don't think I have romantic feelings for her either. But I do love her and I feel like shite for making her put up with this, especially because-" Gwilym halted, ran his hand through his hair, and sighed. You knew exactly where he was going with this.

"Because...?" James prodded.

"It's not my place to say." Gwilym turned to look right at you.

"Y/N. What's going on?" James called. Right on cue, Olive cried from the other room, it must have been time for a change.

Gwilym stopped you from turning away and insisted he go. And when he drifted into the other room, you let out a deep sigh as your friend spoke up again.

"Now that he's gone... is there anything you need to confess?"

"I don't know what's going on James." You admitted, bringing your phone closer as you moved to lean against the door frame of the patio.

"You sure about that?" James squinted.

"I was so pissed at Gwil. But then I thought we could make it work. And I've been spending all week trying to think up exactly how to fall in love with my baby's daddy. And I just fucking can't." You gestured pitifully.

"You're sure? Love isn't a crush babe. Do you think of Gwil when he's away?" James wondered gently. "Do you feel at home when you look at him?"

And then all at once, there was a traffic jam in your heart. Something inside you stopped and caused all your other feelings to halt. Your realization was so massive that there was nowhere else to look but the cold hard truth.

"Not... not Gwilym, no." You spoke slowly, in a hush. That was what you'd always wanted. To feel like someone was your missing link. You wanted to feel sick with love. You'd longed to be looked at the way you'd seen in movies.

Joe's face blinded your vision, and it made you sick alright. Sick with the realization that no matter how badly you wanted Joe, you seemed to need Gwilym.

"Oh." James hummed like he'd read your mind. And with how closely bonded you two had become over the years, you didn't doubt the possibility. "I see."

"James I can't talk about this tonight." You realized, noticing Gwilym guiding Olive to crawl toward the kitchen for dinner. You feared if you started unraveling your tangled feelings that whatever the messy web was holding back would break through. And you couldn't let that happen. You promised James you'd fill him in soon, and hurried to hang up.

But before you could lock your phone and finish making dinner, you noticed an unseen message in your notifications. With a held breath you opened it,

Joe: Forgot to send you this! See you soon?

Below his simple statement was a photo you never knew existed. It was of you crouched next to Olive at the London Aquarium's penguin exhibit. Your silhouettes were illuminated by radiant blue light and you and your daughter were looking at each other, instead of the birds crowding near. Your heart swooped in your chest at the thought of Joe snapping the candid.

You let out a sigh and sucked your feelings way deep down in one giant breath, leaving your phone on the counter as you turned to unveil dinner from the oven.

Gwil quietly asked if you were alright in a way that sounded like he already knew the answer to that question. You convinced him everything was fine, that everything had to be fine. Then there was a knock at the door.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

taglist: @sonic-volcano​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​ @redspecialty​ @itscale​ @stardust-killer-queen​ @joemazzelo​ @dancetohotspace​ @kiwi-hardy​ @joeneslee​ @borhapqueen92​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @johndeaconshands​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye​ @beepbeephardy​ @slutforbritdick​ @joemazzmatazz​ @almightygwil​

[dlamp-dictator]

Allen X Rambles about Chapter 7

“I hope Episode 7 is focused on only 2 or three characters with little distraction... Amiya maybe finding out that Ch’en is slowly becoming Infected and helping her come to terms with that. Ch’en revealing her past to Amiya and the two connecting over losing so many close to them due to Oripathy. The two standing up to the political corruption of Lungmen, shoulder to shoulder, as women that refuse to see another life lost due to the indifference of a city’s politics.”

-Allen X, October 2nd, 2020, Rambling about Chapter 6

Man... I’m starting to believe it when they say Arknight’s story mode is longer than the Harry Potter series. Things are getting crazy in Chapter 7 and crazy-long to in terms of length. This chapter really had me on the edge of my seat as I read through it and as I played through because 7-16 and 7-18 were a bitch to get through that require some of the most precise timing I’ve seen in this game yet. That aside, I enjoyed a lot what I read and experienced.

And I wanted to talk about it a bit.

But first, as always, a synopsis.

Coming off the heels of Frostnova’s death and the realization of Wei Yenwu’s purging of the Lungmen slums, tensions are high and trust has been fractured between Rhodes Island and Lungmen. However, in the midst of Ch’en hot temper and Amiya’s cool head, Reunion is plans to send the Russian Ursusian   city of Chernobog on a collision course with Hong Kong Lungmen, giving Ursus a cause to make war against Lungmen and its great region of Tawain China Yen. However, through some rather amazing political maneuvering and passionate words by Wei Yenwu’s wife Fumizuki, Rhodes Island agrees to mobilize in order to save Lungmen, the Infected, and the beloved daughter of Lungmen, Ch’en. But beyond Chernobog lies Patriot, Reunions greatest commander next to Talulah herself, who’s rage toward his daughter’s death is only matched by his disciplined mind and even more disciplined soldiers. It’s a fight to the center of the Chernobog to save as many lives as possible, even at the cost of this great general’s life.

An Addendum to 7-18

So between my venting about 7-18 when I talked about some fun Arknight’s lore a handful of people wanted to give me some advice on how to conquer that stage. Admittedly that venting was said out of anger and was much more acidic in tone than my usual essays and opinion pieces. I have since beaten that stage and I can give some of my thoughts on this advice. Some of it was helpful... some of it.

“AmIyA cAn TaNk PaTrIoT’s SpEaR tOsS!”

This is technically true and I was technically wrong. When Amiya’s S3 is active she gained increased Max HP and can in fact survive with a sliver of health. However, Amiya’s S3 takes quite a long time to charge even with her talent, and unless someone is actively blocking Patriot her can honestly spam his spear through for how long it takes Amiya to get prepped for her S3. This is more of an issue of Amiya’s balancing than with the game, but I’ll talk about that later.

“jUsT sTaLl PaTrIoT tO kEeP hIm FrOm UsInG tHe SpEaR tOsS!”

This would be pretty viable advice if Patriot didn’t one-shot my units. Yes, defenders like Cuora, Nian, Hoshigumi, and even tankier vanguards like Zima and Siege can tank at least one hit from Patriot without dying, meaning a squad of healers can just focus-fire on them while they do chip damage to Patriot and stall him out. However, Patriot’s phase 2 has him do constant damage to nearby units with his aura ability, so if he can get lucky enough, he take someone down to a sliver and let his poison damage finish off your staller before they get a chance to be healed. That strategy needs luck and some damn smart unit placement. Neither of which I honestly have.

“uSe SpEcTeR aNd DeBuFfErS!”

Again, this is also a pretty good strategy. Specter’s S2 makes her immortal for a limited time and pairing that with healers like Breeze and Celycon who reduce stun damage isn’t a bad idea. Characters that ignore or lower defense like Pramanix, Shamare, and Meteor are also good. This doesn’t work for me however since I only have Pram and the other debuffers are way too underleveled and not on my priority at the moment, and E2-ing units this late in the game just to take out one boss feels like madness.

“f12 CaN dOdGe ThE sPeAr ToSs!”

F12, W, Jessica, and FEater have a dodge chance. Their dodges are not guarantees. Yes, Patriot will target the ranged operator furthest from him and there are range tiles pretty close to his spawn point for that purpose. However, some of those operators have some pretty damn expensive DP costs and waste that on a chance to survive isn’t worth.And feeding Patriot ranged units that take over 30 seconds to redeploy is a waste of DP in general. And those either dodge chances aren’t viable. Them surviving isn’t a strategy, it’s a fluke, and you can’t depend on flukes in auto-deployment.

“Allen, you’re being kind of an asshole to what’s actually sound advice.”

Yes, I am. 

I don’t care. 

7-18 does things to a person, man. That stage breaks people. I lost sanity IRL just doing that stage or 20 times with a guide... dear lord this stage.

Anyway, moving on.

Story Notes

My, this story sure was thick, wasn’t it? It’s been while since I’ve been on a ride that wild. And this time around I don’t have any small issues to bring up. All the characters felt in character without breaking my suspension of disbelief. There weren’t multiple character arcs going on at once. And I even tolerated Kal’tsit berating the Doctor for reasons beyond his understand since she wasn’t discussing too many things that were above my head as the player.

No... I only have big issues. 

But before that, I wanted to hit on some actual important notes that were very good and smartly written.

Rosmontis and Child Soldiers

This was probably the biggest takeaway for me. I know the Arknights community likes to poke a lot of fun about the child soldier thing and how Kal’tsit is harboring slave children, but... man, it makes so much since now.

These kids aren’t just kids, they’re all infected people with some rather scary abilities. Popukar has a history of mental instability coupled with monstrous strength. Ifrit has powers she can just barely keep under control and could set Rhodes Island ablaze at any point. Frostleaf and GreyThroat are deeply traumatized from their past. The Ursus Self Government are full of kids with hatred, resentment, and fear of both the world and themselves. The list goes on, but the fact is that these kids all either have abilities that would be a danger to themselves and others if they aren’t trained, or have emotional hang-ups that might very well have them lash out at innocent people if not put on a leash. Wouldn’t it be better to at least give them some training and let them hack and blast away at the actual bad guys? Wouldn’t it be better to at least make them a weapon for some kind of greater good? And would anyone else really treat these broken, powerful children as anything but weapons and warriors anyway?

I know this is about chapter 7, but I remember in Children of Ursus Rosa asked Zima why she fought, and Zima casually answered that she just liked fighting. It’d be far better to have someone with that mindset working for an organization like Rhodes Island than ending up in Ursus’s fold and blindly hacking at something she shouldn’t. 

And I think it’s important to remind everyone that Amiya is the head of Rhodes Island and not Kal’tsit. She’s a big part of the organization, but it’s the bunny in charge. And the bunny that is herself close to a living nuke and is also has empathetic superpowers understands this probably better than anyone else, which is why she okays it. 

Patriot and Reunion

As much as I despise, and I do mean despise, how cagey this series can be with it’s portrayal of Reunion’s morality I can understand why a lot of its members can see the group as being just. Patriot is a warrior of such renown and praise, and Talulah has so much charisma and power that I can see the group overlooking characters like Mephisto and W when the other two do so much for their members and general people. The Guerillas under Patriot behave like soldiers. They don’t rampage, loot, pillage, or harm everyone in sight, only those that halt, stagnant, and harm the infect. Talulah has a charisma about her and attracts people, and seems to come from some sort of royal/noble line to match. And while Faust wasn’t mentioned much in this chapter, he was a soldier that started at the bottom, worked his way to the top, and made sure to play by rules that kept his moral high ground. Mephisto seems to be the only outliner here for some baffling reason.

But... there are some major issues with this story. I hint at them every time I talk about Arknights’ story, but I’ll go into depth here. And I’ll present these two issues I have in the form of a two question:

Who is the Doctor?

I don’t mean this the sense of the story, but what is his function as a character? Is he a self-insert for the player, or his own character to be explored and examined?

And either answer, to me, is wrong. 

The Doctor Isn’t a Self-Insert

It’s straight up impossible for the Doctor to be a self-insert character. Most self-inserts are blank enough to let us place our own personality onto them and the situations their in the choices they make are meant to be more or less choices we’d make or at least a general audience could make barring some specifics. Their personalities tend to be blank or at least bland to let us, the players, live through them and project our personalities onto them.

The Doctor isn’t this. 

There are too many moment where our choices are clearly pointing to one conclusion and most choices, though varied, give a clear idea that the Doctor is someone that care about the operators’ wellbeing deeply and hates seeing them used, abused, or manipulated. They are strategist and commander, but they have enough humanity to not see people as tools. They are passionate when they see other operators and especially Amiya in harms way and tries to come up with strategies to minimize lost and causalities. Awhile we, the player, feel the same in this regard the Doctor has dialogue that feels more conversational and toward specific directions than what a player would likely want and gives us some bits and piece about what they’re actually like. 

The Doctor hates Kal’tsit and wants little to do with her, only tolerating her presence as much as she is with the Doctor. The Doctor is a bit of a bleeding heart that doesn’t fully grasp that they are constantly in a warzone despite their strategic competency. The Doctor has an extremely weird diet and eating style, devouring live animals and ingesting foods that would probably need to be probably mixed and brewed before consumption. The Doctor still sees Amiya as a child despite her mature nature. 

The list goes on, but there’s enough there for me to say the Doctor is more like Hakuno Kishinami of the Fate/Extra series, a character that seems like a self-insert but has a number of traits and character tics that keep them from fulfill that role. However Fate/Extra, for all I have against it, makes Hakuno work by giving them their own internal thoughts outside of the player’s actions that explain their dialogue choices and actions outside of the player’s control. The Doctor doesn’t, so them being a self-insert feels really weak and irritating when the dots stop connecting.

But despite this...

The Doctor Isn’t Their Own Character

Too much of what the Doctor does is passive. For a clear as their personality is, at least to me, they don’t have much agency in the plot. Not enough for me to call them their own character at least. They commander the battlefield, but they don’t have a place on it. They don’t have much reason to interact with characters like Patriot and Talulah unless its on the metaphorical and literal chessboard we’re playing on. 

Every time the Doctor says something that advances the plot in some way I feel like it could be said by another character and work better. Amiya trying talk down Patriot and explain that Frostnova fought bravely did not need the Doctor’s interjections, especially when Patriot shoots them down in the same manner. In chapter 6, being trap with Frostnova would had worked much better with Amiya since that chapter was giving them parallels anyway. The only thing that really works is the Doctor trying to call out Kal’tsit for her treatment of Rosmontis as a soldier despite her age, as that’s only something that someone who didn’t have the full context could do. 

But... Jessica, Frostleaf, Frostnova, Melantha and several other Operators are young teenagers and even children. Specter and Lappland are clearly just as mentally damaged and still going into battles. The Doctor knows the kinds of people that fight for Rhodes Island, so isn’t this just another young fighter like Popukar and Suzuran? Hell, in chapter 6 we canonically had Beagle and Fang in a stage where they had to fight and tank Faust, why is the Doctor so surprised that someone like Rosmontis exist and works for Rhodes Island?

See? 

See how trying to give this character separation from being a self-insert and actively slot them in the active story does more harm than good? 

I think games like Girls Frontline and Honkai Impact 3rd do this better, where the player character is clearly more behind the scenes and is only a passing influence, if any.

But that leads me to my next question, which is...

Who is Amiya?

Amiya falls into the trope of being a cute anime girl with a mysterious past and dangerous powers. More accurately, she has a mysterious past and powers to the player, but everyone in Amiya’s inner circle seems to have a clue about it. I don’t mind this being a mystery, but... when our main character’s plot revolves around things the player doesn’t know, it’s curious at best, and infuriating at worse. 

Folks, I’m not someone that looks to theory-crafting. I’m not someone that reads every scrap of dialogue in this game to find out more about its lore. The lore, to me, is just fun and interesting. I honestly do not have the time and energy to spend on making theories and predictions that could be wrong and a waste of mental energy. However, with all this stuff about the King of Fiends just feels like a waste of time, or at least a last minute addition to something I could had been added properly in Chapter 8.

A lot of it feels like you had to know about the Darknight Memoir side story to really get a feel for what’s going on. The Sarkaz civil war, Theresa, W’s role back when Rhodes Island was Babel, a lot of things that don’t come up in the main storyline. Especially with that bombshell about the Doctor maybe killing Theresa. 

I don’t like it when a story expects me to have read the spinoff to understand the mainline story. This is why I don’t like the Dragon Age series and I’m really getting annoyed with Arknights right now.

This bombshell of the King of Fiends also kind of sours a bit of Amiya’s character as this young child who rose through the ranks of Rhodes Island as a charismatic leader being able to steel optimism with the reality of war to forge ahead as a proper leader through her abilities as both a commander and an empath. Instead it’s beginning to come across that her skills as a leader comes from something more supernatural, or at least something more forced than "small child is a good leader and can lead an army,” which is surprisingly more believable and nuanced given how seriously the series takes Amiya’s character. 

That said, I recognize this criticism is more my wish of what was rather than an issue of what is. I completely understand that essentially wishing for my own fanfic and limited fan theories to come true isn’t a sound criticism, but it's a criticism I have regardless.

But moving on, there’s one more issue that bugs me.

W’s Importance

I’ll keep this brief since I already discussed my bigger issues of the story and this is an admittedly small portion of the story:

W wasn’t utilized much in this story despite being a main feature of it in the promotional material. She has a pretty lengthy intro, disappears from the story for most of it, then reappears at the last bits of chapter 7 to make mean looks at Kal’tsit and the Doctor before being literally shoved offscreen again. I’ve already discussed my issues with the Doctor’s agency so I won’t bother here.

W’s banner should had been during Darknight Memoir, it just makes more sense given she was the feature character of it and her high physical damage would had been a goodsend among all the arts-resistant Sarkaz units of that series of chokepoint-heavy maps, similar to Weedy’s inclusion her is helpful as a lot of these maps could use a good pusher, especially 7-16.

Speaking of, Weedy, the other operator on this limited banner, has no presence in the story at all. Need I remind you in the last limited banner Aak and Hung at least had cameo-esque appearances in the Ancient Forge event. Weedy’s inclusion feels like an afterthought because they didn’t want the limited 6-Star to have a good chance to be pulled for the whales.

Anyway, I believe those are all the big issues I had with this story, so...

In the Future

As I always tend to say, I don’t like the idea of trying to fix something that has already been made and has already passed. It’s too late to change the past, but I see nothing wrong with asking for things to happen in the future as a way of giving feedback. 

To that end, I still have hope that Chapter 8 will have a focus on Amiya and Ch’en tackling Talulah together. From my understanding of some spoilers this is more or less what is going to happen. I also hope that we’ll have a more detailed idea on this whole King of Fiends thing is about. As much as I personally don’t care for it, it’s already be discussed in the story so I at least hope we get the full idea on what’s going on with that plotline. 

I also hope the Doctor either plays less a role or becomes their own character outright away from any player influence. Us speaking through a character that already has a personality feels weird to me and I’d rather not have it at all.

Anyway, that’s it for me folks. Next time... maybe I’ll talk about anime or something, who knows.

[ganymedesclock]

Dead Cells and the weight of small lives pt.1 (about Prisoner)

NGL this is at least partially me saltposting about “I don’t really understand how people read the Prisoner’s dialogue and look at his thoughts and see someone who’s a total unrepentant asshole or the same person as the King” but it’s also commentating on an interesting pattern I observe in the game and its worldbuilding.

The setting of Dead Cells is, no two ways about it, a very unpleasant world. It is awash in death. The apocalyptic zombie plague of the Malaise is just the final nail in its coffin, leaving a handful of uninfected survivors on top of the literal heaps of corpses of the kingdom’s inquisition. A fountain of blood flows in the highest castle in the land. It’s grim. It’s horrible. We can hear someone get murdered through an unbreakable door.

The interesting thing is... what the game tells you to do with it, through the perspective of the main character.

For clarity: Prisoner is not here to save anyone. He is not a hero on a quest. He is- well- a prisoner. On discovering he has a kind of immortality, he begins using it to make his way through the island, learning painful lesson after painful lesson, returning, returning, and returning again trying to achieve some kind of change on this degrading looping time. But the fact that you’re not specifically out to save people is that... well... basically nobody’s in a position to be saved. As mentioned, there’s not a lot of survivors, and most of the ones there don’t need you- they’re doing on their own, and if that happens to not be enough, it tends to be enough very suddenly, where you can’t reach them or weren’t there at the time and are left a little shaken, because they were fine the last time you checked.

Also, half of said survivors are trying really hard to kill Prisoner.

Thus, if you’re used to games where objective 1 is to Save Everyone, Rid The Land Of Evil, Prisoner might seem shockingly callous, I suppose. The thing is, I consider myself the emotional equivalent of a glass frog- I’m very thin-skinned with bleak hopeless narratives.

And yet. There is something about Dead Cells’ universe that doesn’t seem like an attack on me. And I think that it’s what the game has to say about “small lives”. The lives that are considered unimportant in a crisis.

The Island in Dead Cells is ruled by a major hierarchy. This is obvious from jump- one of the first bits of lore text you are likely to ever get starting the game up is this one, for the Prisoners’ Quarters, the first area you start in:

In the social hierarchy of the island, there are the dogs, the rats, and just below them, the prisoners.

Prisoner is sometimes called “The Beheaded” by official detail, but he is called “Prisoner” specifically by one of the service NPCs you meet in the corridors- so one of the most consistent entities you talk to that’s not trying to kill you, who is always happy to see you with a sunny, “Well, hello, Mr. Prisoner, sir!”

He also starts the game in a prison cell, his headless state is made clear to us that it was the result of an execution rather than a war wound (there’s a chopping block and an obviously used axe in his cell with him) and his default equipment is a collar that was clearly once used to restrain him. So when the game pronounces this to you about the island’s hierarchy, Prisoner is not speaking abstractly about ‘those other poor sods’-

He’s talking about himself.

The hierarchy of the island is a specter that stalks you through almost every level of the game- through the massive prison complex which is littered with evidence and recounting of the guards toying with prisoners’ lives, of numbered corpses, a revolting sewer containing a shackled, corrupted monster that seems to have lived her entire life in this very same prison; to the astonishingly humble fishing hamlet that lies directly at the foot of the soaring grandeur of the Clock Tower and the even greater heights of High Peak Castle.

To the discrepancy between the teeming, crowded tombstones of the Graveyard, to the sprawling labyrinthine nature of the Forgotten Sepulchre- where a handful of tombs are presided over by entire walls of skulls that we’re helpfully told belonged to the heads of the delegations of high-ranking dignitaries- said delegations were butchered to attend their masters’ burials evermore.

Right away, this is thrown to us not as something we are outside of or transcend, but a slap in the face. The world tells us that our avatar in this game does not matter- that his face and voice do not matter and these things were taken from him by violence.

The thing is... Prisoner does not shut up. The game is full to bursting with his thoughts. He has so much to say that it’s jarring when we’re used to being alone with all his thoughts to meet another person and suddenly be reminded they hear nothing of what he’s saying, like a dramatic version of Garfield Minus Garfield.

Through revival, through cycles, the expectation of the gameplay is we are living the experience of Prisoner and what Prisoner’s experience is, is a one-man raging against a situation that’s telling him to shrivel up and die because he’s not important. It doesn’t want to be fair to him. It doesn’t want to be nice to him. It doesn’t care how much he’s hurting or if he doesn’t own a decent pair of shoes to his name, or if he doesn’t even have a name to speak of.

But Prisoner does not give up. He in fact does the opposite of giving up. After playing this game for a good while, I fired up some Hollow Knight and it really hit me like a truck that Prisoner spends most of the game tearing around near top speed, cartwheeling and sprinting and hauling up ledges and slamming down ledges. The pace of the game is fast, fast, fast, all intense, all in, and you’re encouraged to take risky gambles with an already precarious system like temporarily taking on one-hit-you’re-dead curses in exchange for more damage output or better loot.

The animated trailers make this even clearer. Prisoner gets his shit wrecked.

A lot.

At best, he can have some moments of feeling like an unstoppable god, but just about the time you start to get really worried for that cute little mushroom baby and their caretaker you are reassured that Prisoner’s reign of hubristic wrath comes to a hard stop thanks to inertia, and spikes.

And I will say more than many cinematic trailers, Motion Twin really did a remarkable job of matching this 1-to-1 with the actual experience of playing the game. I have even literally swaggered into a fight with the Giant much the same way Prisoner breaks out that cool spear flourish Moment Of Challenge only to immediately eat shit directly into his laser beam eyes, that I was not prepared for because he hadn’t used them last fight.

Prisoner is not valiant, triumphant, or wildly successful. His final bastion is skill and ingenuity.

This puts a really interesting spin on what I said before- that Prisoner is not here to save anybody, even himself.

Prisoner frankly does not have that kind of power.

There’s nobody in a vulnerable state you even have the option to choose to abandon. People live or die, and it’s really not up to you. There are a few deaths Prisoner takes into his own hands- the King and the Collector notably- but even those people, like... the King appears comatose by the time you reach him, and the Collector not only tries to kill you but is revived thanks to time strangeness- and another death that can happen, and is erased by the time looping- the unnamed sewer prisoner who wants you to go fetch the teleportation rune for him (ahem. he wants you to retrieve his rune, that definitely rightfully belongs to him) ostensibly to get out of jail but when you find his body, not only is he dead of a fate the rune wouldn’t have saved him from, but his objective, revealed, was that he was trying to get to a treasure chest he’d hidden earlier.

The one time it can really be said, outside of the boss fights or executing the King, that Prisoner really decides if someone lives or dies, is...

Mushroom Boi.

For the uninitiated, Mushroom Boi is a little summonable mushroom child that is equipped as a skill. Triggering the skill once will summon him. Triggering the skill while he’s already summoned will cause him to self-destruct, taking out enemies in the area and, by the game description, “violate your very soul”.

After this, you can without any consequence whatsoever summon him again, and blow this poor child up as much as you want. It does not really seem to slow him down any- but the game still, distinctly, frowns on it. You have a reward in the form of an achievement for keeping him with you without sacrifice, aforementioned crack about sacrificing him “violating your soul”, and, just, how can you be mad at this cute little guy? he has a tiny bow! He’s an extremely useful companion! Mechanically, you do not really hurt for want of the sacrifice ability if you summon him and then never touch that button again.

Given that Prisoner spends so much of the game alone with his thoughts, and the person who gives him access to Mushroom Boi, the Collector, has, to put it mildly, a long history of using and discarding people including implicitly children, there has to be some kind of implicit in-universe-source for the idea that you’d feel crushing guilt for detonating your son and boy like that, and the angle that makes the most sense is Prisoner.

So, Prisoner is someone who feels really guilty for painfully inconveniencing a summonable construct mushroom in a way that it does not seem to hold against him at all. At the same time, there’s really a shortage of ways that you can personally hurt anybody who’s not trying to kill you or being particularly exploitative (aforementioned teleportation rune sewer guy, who Prisoner goes as far as to flip off after he lunges and tries to either claw prisoner or grab the rune from him by force)

The most disrespectful Prisoner tends to be are to one of three categories of people:

Dead bodies that cannot feel or particularly care if he kicks them, that he usually kicks either specifically to loot or, as what seems to be some kind of weird bad idea where he plants his naked foot on a waterlogged corpse and then declares “ew” like what did you expect to happen actually

People who have one way or another tried to exploit him for their personal gain directly at his expense so he nearly gets murdered- or in FACT gets murdered- while they sit back and wait for him to succeed and bring them the reward.

Aforementioned people who are trying openly to kill him and even then he only flips off the Giant basically because the Giant flips him off first. This is kinder than I feel about the Giant. I like the Giant but I feel like someone with laser beam eyes that uses them like that deserves more than just one retaliatory middle finger.

And this meshes with other factors, but the post is long enough I’ll break off here.

[seblaine-rph]

it’s rich that you wanna talk about problematic when you’re sending anonymous messages telling people to kill themselves instead of just attempting to have a mature conversation with the people you’re so obsessed with “shaming.” fucking hypocrite.

Hi, Shix. What’s really rich is that you’re in my inbox accusing me of things that I haven’t done to try and change the narrative so that you are a victim instead of taking ownership of your problematic faults and ending the pedophilia, fatphobia, and disrespectful mish-matching of POC races. It’s also rich that you’re in my inbox to complain about being sent anon hate while calling me a hypocrite for sending anon hate that you thought I sent via you... sending your own anon hate? Go ahead and keep proving that you’re in the wrong and will keep piling on more wrong instead of bettering yourself, though. You’re only helping my case and adding to the list of problematic things you’re up to on the old Tumblr dot com. If you were interested in having a private conversation with me on how to fix your issues, you would have reached out to me by this point. I have said my piece over and over and tagged it every time, you know what you’ve done wrong and how to fix it. I’ve already told you how and you’ve not anything to better yourself. You also wouldn’t have dropped in your ooc chat that you were going to just not address anything that anyone thought you probably shouldn’t be doing if what you were looking for was personal growth. Make it make sense.

Also? When? Was? It? A? Thing? That? I? Should? Have? To? Have? A? Conversation? With? A? 30? Year? Old? To? Tell? Them? That? Pedophilia? Is? Wrong? Though if we’re being completely transparent, I did actually try to reach out to try to have a mature conversation about this with the admins but uh... I got blocked for my efforts. Again, make it make sense. 

If we’re going to get personal and attack here, bitch please. I outed your ass publically with no qualms and no hesitation. I have almost a dozen posts about how you’re scarring people online. I’m not scared. I’m not afraid. I have no need or reason to go on anon when I’m more than happy and capable of telling you that you’re nasty and need to get off Tumblr if this is what you’re going to do here with my pretty face attached to it. I’ve already told you to get better or go on my blog. Unlike you, hiding behind the sunglasses like a full ass coward.

All I’ve done is answer anons that have been sent to me about this topic and it’s not my fault at all that you’re problematic and in need of some change. I get anons about rps all of the time. Check my tags, you’re not special, sweetie. Since we want to play the “it must be you because you’re the one talking about it” insinuation game, please do remember with those few brain cells of yours that aren’t being used to write child porn that someone sent me those anons, so clearly I am not the only one that has a problem with this. I’m not saying that it’s right to send anon hate or that you should have been sent anon hate-- or that YOU should be sending anon hate yourself, sweetheart, but I am saying that I didn’t even know about your little group until someone pointed it out to me because it made them highly uncomfortable. I’ve been getting anons all day about it, and I’ve been getting anons for weeks about it. And now you’ve admitted that you are also getting anon hate about it. Did you stop to think for even half a second that perhaps, PERHAPS, the very same anons in my inbox are the ones that are in yours? I’m sure you did, you just wanted to find an angle to play the victim with, so it’s too bad for you that I’m here to remind you that you are not a victim because you are writing child porn and people are upset about it. You are not a victim because you are whitewashing POC. You are not a victim because you are fatphobic and casting plus sized characters with skinny twigs. Those are things YOU have done wrong, not reasons for you to play the victim card. You are the VICTIMIZER, in case you missed that. You have hurt people. Not just the anons in my inbox either, I brought this to real world people and all of the POC and plus sized people were VIVIDLY UPSET by the choices you have made. People that have been victim to adults like you  in their childhood that want to see them have sex are hurt by the choices you’ve made. Children that see your blog and participate in your rp where they are allowed to write child characters having sex (while half your rp is 30+) are going to grow up thinking that it’s okay for their innocence to be taken be an adult. The people that you asked to join your rp have been put at risk of going to jail. 

So we’re back to the part where the solution to all of your problems is to make a public apology for being disgusting, pedophilic, white washing, and now we can add being abusive to the list and then you change your behavior. It’s funny how one way to make sure you don’t get anon hate is to... not be problematic and to fix it if you do end up having it pointed out to you that you already are. 

Age up the characters in your roleplay so that you’re no longer writing child porn with 14 year olds. End the madness. 

[cheekymochiiii]

Surprise

part 4. [cont. from Where is Lucy ->]

✰ Mini Series

✰ NaLu Short

Natsu and Happy stand wait outside the guildhall door’s of Blue Pegasus debating the best way to approach Anna Heartfilia. The pair knows Gajeel may already have a head start but the boys know Anna is their best resource to find Lucy.

“Are you suuuure you wanna do this?” Happy asks uneasy about seeing Ichiya and the Three Idiots. Remembering the last time they were here the boys were forced to dress in penguin suits and be escorts to random people.

A job the boys were not wanting a repeat of.

“Anna is our best chance to find Lucy,” Natsu states fiercely.

“Aye sir!” Happy nods matching Natsu’s bravado.

Natsu knocks and the guild’s doors swing open.

“Welcome to Blue Pegasus, how can we—oh Natsu and Happy. What are you guys doing here?” Hibiki asks cocking his head to the side. Before the pair can answer Hibiki’s eyes light up, “I know! You’re here for the entertainment!”

“Huh?” The duo asks in confusion.

“Places everyone we have newcomers!” Hibiki announces ignoring them and pulls the boys inside before shutting the door behind them, the lights clicking off and a spotlight shining on Jenny who is standing on a center stage.

There are other customers sitting in the booths that allow them a view of Jenny. All the men drool and stare with wide eyes. Natsu and Happy begin trying to sneak away but Hibiki forced them to stay in their spot.

“Hey man we’re just looking for Anna,” Natsu complains.

“We’ll tell you where she is after you watch our number,” Hibiki says, “Don’t move!” He tells the best friends as he runs to join the other two, Eve and Ren, who are background dancers to Jenny.

Jenny begins singing a soulful song and with each line she begins stripping her clothes. Natsu’s eye twitches, “Let’s get out of here Happy,” Natsu states turning to leave when Ichiya blocks them from the doors to freedom.

“Meeeennnn,” he croons while striking his signature pose, “What brings Sir Natsu and Sir Happy to our humble guild hall?”

“We’re looking for Anna,” Happy states using his exceed wings to hover.

“Lady Anna is at the school as we speak. She is in the middle of teaching a class on the outskirts of town,” Ichiya informs the two while stepping back and forth in that small dance he does.

“Great we’ll find it ourselves,” Natsu states pushing past Ichiya to escape the torturous performance.

“You don’t want to watch the rest of Jenny’s performance?” Ichiya questions.

“No thanks,” Natsu quickly denies causing Jenny to send a glare at his back as the duo quickly ventures off.

“How will we know which direction to go?” Happy asks as he soars next to Natsu.

“My nose, duh!” Natsu grins as he easily picks up Anna’s scent and begins tracking her, “We’ll find her in no time.”

The duo manages to reach the teacher in the middle of her outdoor activities with her youngest class. She is chasing a few of the children in a game of tag, some of them even using magic to get away from the others.

“Yo! Anna!” Natsu greets as Happy is instantly attacked by the children’s grubby hands and all try taking turns to ride and pet the exceed.

“Natsu and Happy what a pleasant surprise, what can I do for you two?” Anna asks kindly as she picks up one of the students off of Happy but the others are relentless in their chase to catch him.

It still surprises Natsu how much she and Lucy look and smell alike. It makes him smile at how different they are in personality. While Anna is refined and graceful, Lucy is brash and rowdy much like the guild she joined, which he likes far better than how she was the first time he met her. He remembers she would be haughty and scared of nearly everything but she’s changed. She isn’t scared anymore and isn’t the princess she was supposed to be. He wonders what she would be like if she had stayed at her estate. What he didn’t like to think about was if he had never met her at all.

“We’re looking for Lucy,” Natsu states pulling himself out of his thoughts, “She’s been gone a few days now and we aren’t sure where she is.”

Anna’s face changes then as she recalls where her relative is. “Did she say how long she would be gone?”

“She only left us a note about being gone for a week,” Natsu shares.

“A week?” Anna echoes unsure if that time would be too long for poor Lucy.

“Do you know where she is?” Natsu questions wondering what is with all the secrecy.

“Yes she, um...” Anna trails off trying to decide if it would be appropriate for her to tell him where she is. After all, Lucy had turned down her offer to accompany her to Acalypha. Anna looks to Natsu and can see the desperate look behind his eyes.

“I need to know where she is so I can beat Gajeel to her!” Natsu says competitively as he shakes a fist to the sky as if Gajeel could see him.

So that’s why he looks so determined, Anna thinks with a funny smile.

“Natsu help!” Happy cries as the children have now somehow managed to tie him up and have gone to tossing his precious fishies back and forth as a game with each other.

Natsu starts laughing, “They sure got the jump on you didn’t they buddy.”

“Hey why are you talking to Miss Anna?” One of the children with wild blonde hair asks looking up at Natsu with scrutiny.

“I’ve got to find a friend kiddo,” Natsu answers raising one eyebrow as he looks down at the boy.

“I’m not a kid!” The boy shouts looking to Anna with a blush, “I’m a mature man just like the wizards at Blue Pegasus. More mature than you are clearly.”

“You think those weirdos are mature?” Natsu mutters, “Wait a second!”

“If it’s Miss Anna you want, then I’ll fight you for her!” The boy challenges Natsu.

“Oh yeah? Bring it on!” Natsu grins.

Anna only laughs, “Now boys there will be no fights while I’m the teacher here. Reo it’s time to go inside anyway. Why don’t you go ahead and pick out a book for me to read to the rest of the class?”

The blonde haired boy nods fiercely, “Right away Miss Anna!” He agrees and leaves to the classroom.

“Alright children that’s enough rough housing for today let’s get back inside for our story time!” Anna orders the class as she opens the door for them. They all cheer with excitement to learn more from Anna and rush inside the school house.

“That snot-nosed kid,” Natsu grumbles.

“I’m afraid I don’t have much time but I can tell you where Lucy is. She will need her friends most today,” Anna says with a sorrowful look.

• • •

The morning for Lucy was long. She was tossing and turning all night after she had finished her writing. She wasn’t sure why she was so anxious. All she knew was that the moment she saw her parents it would melt away. Luckily, the sun was out and brighter than ever. Despite the cold snow and air the sun was keeping Lucy’s face warm from its rays.

She spent time in the market getting items for her picnic, but when she tried to find two flower bouquets for her parents the shops were out of stock. All that were left were empty vases and wilted stems.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get you flowers,” she tells her parents now standing before their gravestones with a sad smile, “I’m also sorry I couldn’t face either of your for so long,” Lucy admits sniffling.

“Hey Lucy.”

The celestial wizard turns recognizing the voice and is in awe of the bouquets of flowers in Loke’s arms.

“Loke? What are you doing here?” She asks.

“These flowers are from all of us,” he explains holding them out to her, “Plue told us you were in need of flowers before you closed his gate and we all chipped in with some flowers from the celestial spirit world.”

Lucy gazes at them in awe as she gently takes them from Loke. In the sun the chrysanthemums twinkle and almost glow beautiful shades of purple and blue that remind her of the skies in the celestial spirit world. The stems are long and have leaves that are a vibrant green against the snow.

Lucy feels tears building in the corner of her eyes, “Thank you so much,” she tells Loke as she meets his eyes, “They’re beautiful. You all did an amazing job putting them together.”

“Plue said you’ve been upset and we all wanted to try and ease the pain,” Loke admits and gives her a glistening smile, “You’re far too beautiful to have permanent frown lines and puffy eyes so if it will make you feel better I’m willing to go out with you now,” he says putting a gentle finger under Lucy’s chin and leans incredibly close to her.

“You never give up,” Lucy rolls her eyes as she swats his hand away from her and begins placing the flowers on the graves. She dusts the snow off of tombstones and gives them a sad smile as she places the stunning bouquets down. “I wish I could talk to you both...one more time,” Lucy tells them with a sad smile, “I’ve gone on so many adventures and made even more friends. I think you’d be proud of me Father. I never got to thank you Mother for the sacrifice you made for me...” Lucy trails off and feels the tears sliding down her cheeks as she wipes at them.

Loke puts a gentle hand on her shoulder and helps stand her up as he does a quick dark movement flashes across Loke’s periphreal vision.

“Lucy look out!” Loke exclaims and pushes her out of harms way causing a metal clawed hand that is connected to a chain digs into his side and the wielder of the the weapon pulls back causing a gash to form in his side.

“Loke!” Lucy cries out for her celestial spirit.

“Damn it!” Loke grunts and disappears back to the celestial spirit world leaving Lucy alone.

“Surprise!” A voice shouts with enthusiasm, “Well, well, well look at who we’ve got here, Lucy Heartfilia,” the person says with a terrifying grin.

Lucy looks over at the person and sees a man with a red and black striped sweater and a black fedora on his head. He’s wearing worn pants and heavy boots too. He swings the metal claw around on its black chain with a malevolent swagger.

“Looks like I’ll finally have my revenge today,” he says licking his lips as he looks at Lucy.

✰exxtra comment || y’all I finally updated from my short like months ago! lol I’m only doing one more chapter to this mini series so I hope y’all will like it when I finally get it done.

[wordynerdygurl]

Costumes & Kittens

Summary: You convince Loki to dress up for a Halloween party and then enjoy a private after party.

Loki x Reader

Warning: SMUT, Funny, Loving Loki

"Are you really going to put on a costume?" Sarcasm dripped from every syllable Loki uttered over the idea.

"Heck yes! And you are too! Right?... Right?" But the look on Loki's handsome face explained exactly what he thought of the idea. Begging him you continued, "Oh, come on! It's so fun!! You get to be someone... or something else for a night."

Waiting for the walk signals to change, Loki looked up and down the street but not at you while saying, "I understand the custom. The appeal of it... but isn't this just child's play? Nonsense?"

You shrugged. "So what if it is? What's so wrong with letting your inner child out to play?"

"My inner child is a miniature frost giant with daddy issues and a desire to conquer... I don't think that's a costume one buys at Target, dearest."

You laughed, he wasn't wrong, really. "No, I guess not... but maybe you're looking at this all wrong. Maybe the question is, 'If Loki Odinson could be anything, what would he be?' Ya know what I mean?"

Shrugging Loki replied, "Anything? I'd be King of Asgard. Or the Universe."

"Be serious for a minute?" It's a tiny bit exasperating trying to explain these kind of things to Loki.

"Serious about a children's fancy dress party?" His eyebrows lifted archly.

"No. Serious about the question. What does Loki want to be when he grows up?" Punching his strong arm playfully, you drive the point home by batting your long lashes at The God of Mischief. He pulls you into a one armed embrace and kisses you sweetly.

"You know I'm over a thousand years old, right? I'm technically over grown at this point." Loki reminds you as he pulls open the door to your favorite restaurant.

"Funny, you don't look a day over 800." Loki nods, chuckling at your quick wittedness. You lean against him, waiting for the hostess to acknowledge your famished existence.

"So, you're going to dress as what, exactly?" Curiosity had Loki caught in its web. Reaching up on tiptoes you kiss his cheek and reply, "That, my dear, is a surprise, unless you want to do a couples costume? Like Doc and Marty... or Westley and Buttercup?" Loki scrunched his nose up.

"Ok. Too soon... so, what about you? Any ideas of what you'd like to be?" The pair of you are flirting like a teenagers as the restaurant hostess finally smiled at you. Leaning into your neck Loki nips your ear gently then husks, "The man who makes your quim quiver."

"How many?" The hostess, slightly put out by your public display, is looking at you with impatient eyes. Your mouth has gone dry with lust so Loki answers, "Just two, dear."

---

"This party is amazing!" You shout to Wanda over the pulsing music. She looked so cute as a rainbow unicorn, her golden horn bobbing in time with the 'Monster Mash'.

"You look so good! Oh my goodness, how funny!" Doubling over, Wanda was in tears at your costume, and you had to admit it was pretty hilarious. "Nat! Come here!"

"Noooo! This is great!! Loki's gonna lose it!" Natasha clutched her flapper's boa closer as she giggled.

"Thank you guys! I worked really hard on it!" You were incredibly proud of your look tonight. Black boots laced over your calves to your knees. The armour you'd pieced together from leather scraps and duct tape hugged your torso in green and gold flaring into a matching skirt. The best part was the flowing emerald cape that had started life as a satin sheet but now followed behind you like a green shadow.

Recreating Loki's horned crown had taken weeks of meticulous papier mache, sand paper and gold spray paint but damn, you felt like Asgardian royalty. Did Loki have this sense of power all the time? You shivered a little at the thrill of it.

Knocking back a long swig of your beer, laughing at Sam and Bucky dressed in those tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber, you realized this party was in full swing. Maybe that's why you were taken by surprise when a low, familiar voice crooned in your ear, "My queen."

Spinning on your heeled boots, you found Loki at your side, hands behind his back, smirk firmly in place. His eyes swept over you, taking in the details of your costume with a raised eyebrow, causing blue flames of excitement to curl low in your belly. You felt a creeping blush rise over you and channelling your inner God of Mischief you defiantly raised your chin Loki's direction.

"Yes... kitten?" Now, Loki called you kitten almost everyday, and it never failed to make you purr. Tonight, you used the endearment because the Trickster was dressed in a jet black three piece suit, black shirt and tie, with two tiny ebony cat ears on his head. His cheshire grin didn't hurt his ensemble at all.

"You look... well, almost as good as I do in that suit." His tone is light but you read a touch of approval in the mix. With a hand over his heart, Loki adds, "I'm honored that you went to all this trouble, little one."

Feeling emboldened by the role you're dressed for, you look down your nose at Loki, just like you'd seen him do countless times before. "Trouble? Not at all. This was something I had lying around. I thought these mortals would appreciate seeing a goddess in all her splendor."

Laughing, Loki replies, "Well you are certainly fearsome, my lady. And may I say, you have excellent taste."

You laugh too, "You may! Come on, let's get you a drink!" Grabbing Loki's hand in yours you pull him towards the bar. The crowd thins a bit as you get further from the music so it's easier to chat. Once you each have a cold beer, you perch on the countertop while Loki leans against the kitchen counter, again looking you over.

"I would be a beautiful woman." He stated wistfully. You snort, almost spitting up your suds. "I don't know about that, but you're a pretty sexy cat, Loki." You reached out and flicked one of the furry ears.

After a sip from his bottle Loki counters, "Of course I am." Curling his free hand into a claw, he does his best feline impression, "Meow!"

With a wide smile you casually say, "You dressed up. I wasn't sure you would."

"You said I could be anyone or anything." Loki's lip lifted into a knowing half smile. Nodding, you concede, "I did." Clinking the necks of your beer bottles together you flash Loki a slow smile. You draw your bottom lip between your teeth as you look at your black kitty cat, practically purring yourself. Loki watched your mouth move, his own lips parting slightly, as he leaned towards you.

You closed your eyes in anticipation of Loki's lip lock when you heard, "Reindeer Games! That is not an acceptable costume!! You can't just wear your battle gear..."

Tony stopped short when he saw your head snap around, golden horned crown bobbing slightly with your movement. Loki peeked at the intruder over your gossamer green shoulder. "Oh. My mistake. Great outfits. Party on." And with that Iron Man, dressed in a perfect replica of Elton John's glitter baseball uniform, swiped a bottle of vodka, and swaggered towards the noise.

"Wanna dance?" You're hopeful that he'll say yes because Loki is great on the dance floor, and he knows it. Grabbing you each a fresh beer, Loki nods, "Yes, my liege." And you laugh again at his deference to your implied title. "Then let's go!" Impatiently you stride back to the waiting crowd of friends singing and partying the night away.

The night passes in a blur of dancing, drinks and laughter. Everyone gets a kick out of you as Loki. You play up the role, ordering people to kneel like he would usually do, cracking sarcastic comments and snide remarks with regularity. You're overconfident and you're high on the bossy bitch this get up brings out in you.

"Kitten, grab me another, will you?" Rubbing under his chin like you'd do to a real little black kitty cat, you stroke one of Loki's velvet ears sweetly before brushing a kiss over his lips. He moans softly at your gentle petting and murmurs, "I think this kitten is ready to call it a night, darling."

You catch his eye and see what he's really saying. It's bedtime, not lights out, something that causes a blush to rise over you. Swaying away from Loki you tease, "You got it, cool cat."

Goodbyes take forever because all of you are well over the tipsy line. Wanda squeezes you for five minutes, unwilling to part from you, trying to tell you a story that she swears is hilarious but you just can't seem to follow. Tony tries to steal your crown but you wrestle it away just in time, blocking Steve from snatching it back again. You wave at Natasha but she's got Bucky pinned under her on the sofa, his orange top hat perched on her head and his hands on her ass.

Loki was waiting for you at the elevator, doors open. "How did you leave everybody?"

"Natasha and Bucky are totally hooking up tonight!" It spilled out of you with a drunken laugh as you stepped inside the mirrored moving cube. Pushing the down button with a skeptical smile Loki asked, "Really? Any other odd couples come out your costume convention?"

Suddenly serious, you step into Loki's space saying, "I'm going home with a black cat. That's fairly odd, since, ya know... I'm allergic to cats."

"I promise you, this tom cat is hypoallergenic. No mangy fur... no troublesome litter box." Boxing Loki against the reflective wall, your eyes lock on his ice blue ones, "And is he well behaved? I don't want a naughty kitty in my bed."

Swallowing thickly, Loki husked, "Maybe just a little." You pushed your body into his, collapsing the space between you, kissing along his throat. Loki lifted his chin with a hungry moan as you nipped his Adam's apple, leaving your mark on his pale skin. Grazing your lips over his strong jaw you make sure to pay extra attention to that sensitive spot just under his ear, where tendon and muscle meet.

"Good kitty." Your whispered praise makes Loki blush faintly, his trousers tighter now, as his body responds to your devious teasing. Pushing away from him when the elevator dings, you clasp his hand and drag an excited Loki into the night air.

With your heavy boots and swirling cape it seems like your stride has widened. There's a power in you that dressing like The Trickster has released and it made you feel other wordly. If you were behaving like your god, cocksure and dominate, then Loki was a mewling furball right now, content to be led wherever you went. You lace your hand to Loki's and start steering you both through the neighborhood, back to your home.

It takes a little bit longer than normal as the streets are full of Halloween party people enjoying the chance to be different for a night. You have your keys ready so it takes no time to slip it into your lock. As you bend over, ready to turn the knob, you feel Loki at your back. His strong hands roam over your hips tugging you into his hard, honed body.

"Uh uh little kitten. It's not time to play just yet." You admonish him while forcing him to release you. "Darling!" It was a whine. You'd never heard Loki beg before and the sound of it made your core clench, unchecked excitement coursing through you. Stepping inside, finally, you didn't pause for a drink or a trip to the ladies room. No, you stomped right into your bedroom, Loki in tow.

There's a moment right before snowflakes start their fall when all the world waits in quiet silence for the flurry to begin. A beat, maybe two, where the balance of nature breathes before being tipped one way or another.

This night, when you faced Loki across your soft carpeted floor, dressed in a replica of his armor, you felt that peaceful pause. Loki stood beside your closed door, eyes snapping with unreleased heat, looking sweet as homemade sin, in that black double breasted suit with pointed pussy cat ears and a hungry grin.

To him you looked like a vision come to life. Where Loki was long and angled hidden in that leather and steel, you were curvy and soft. The corseted costume accentuating your bust, those tall boots lengthening your legs, even the helmet looked sexy and dangerous framing your sweet face.

"Loki..." Reaching out a hand to him, you felt the world tip into frenzy as the flurry started.

It took him two steps to reach you. One hand wrapped around your waist, tucking you into Loki's side, the other curled around your neck, supporting it, as your mouths met. Feasting on your lips like a starving man, Loki deepened the kiss when he buried his hand in your hair and pulled your head back firmly. You felt his other hand brush over your ass cheek before Loki squeezed down hard.

Moaning, "Loki... Loki..." you were being driven out of your mind by his talented tongue. His hand followed the hem of your skirt and you moaned when you felt Loki's fingers slide under the elastic leg of your panties.

Placing a flat palm against Loki's chest, you push away from his embrace. He lunges for you once more but you wiggle free of his grasp, cheeks enflamed and breathing hard. You stop to straighten your helmet before asking, "Little kitten... your goddess has a question for you. Why is no one licking my thighs?"

Loki growls, sounding like an actual rabid animal, as he stalks over to where you're standing by the bed. He shoves you down to the mattress, following you into the soft surface, and kisses you deeply again.

"Be gentle, little kitten..." You teasingly remind the dark prince who is laying between your parted knees. Looking down at you like a cornered mouse, your black cat promises, "You're going to find out that kitties have claws, lovey."

Without pausing, Loki's palms push roughly over your long leather boots. You sigh when his rough skin connects with the smooth satin of your inner thighs. He follows the path blazed by his hands with his moving mouth. A lick, teeth tasting, thumbs kneading, trailing closer to your apex, warm and wet and waiting. Loki switches sides, searing his route to your molten core into your memory.

Reaching for him, you run your hands through his long dark locks, fingers connecting with those little furry triangle ears. You groan when Loki yanks down your underpants, pulling them free over your footwear. Echoing your need, Loki chuckles, "Look at this... my queen, wet and writhing before me. Being me for a night did this?"

Eager to get Loki back to business you counter, "Yes... it feels... amazing."

Rich laughter bounces around your bedroom as Loki says, "It certainly does! Listen, I really like this suit, so give me a moment, won't you darling?"

Sitting up on your elbows, cape bunched beneath you, legs open obscenely you stare at Loki, already loosening his tie. "Um... your queen is NOT ok with taking a break. Get over here and finish what you started!"

One arm free from his dark coat, Loki freezes. "To do that I need to be unencumbered by these clothes, my lady."

Huffy now, you grumble something about rotten timing and shimmy your skirt off without leaving the bed. Loki's shirt buttons are abandoned as he watches you, naked below the waist, corset and cape still shrouding you, helmet on but askew. It's ridiculous and righteously sexy.

"I'm just gonna do it myself. Don't worry Loki, I've got it." You move your hand down your soft tummy, closer to your throbbing clit, anticipating the firmness of your arousal.

"Wait! That's not fair!" He has one leg out of his trousers, hopping around, trying to get them off so he can get back to getting you off.

"Fair schmair, kitty cat." Your fingers spread your lower lips, sweetly dipping into your wetness, the friction making you shiver. Loki, naked except for those ears, locked a tight hand over your wrist. "Allow me."

You try to shrug him off but Loki is able to bring your hand to his lips. Slowly he draws those tasty fingers into his warm mouth savoring your flavor. Blue eyes piercing yours, Loki drops your hand, saying "Now... my troublesome little dictator, this kitty thinks you need a tongue bath."

It's your turn to growl. Loki's strong hands fan over your hips, sliding seductively over your legs. You gasped when he jerked your booted knees over his broad shoulders bringing your liquid center closer to his hungry mouth. Exhaling a hot breathe against your aching cunt, Loki chuckled lowly as you thrust forward, searching for his touch.

Your sigh of frustration turned into a squeal of pleasure when Loki licked firmly through your drenched skin. Flicking his tongue over your clit with tiny licks, like a cat lapping at milk, Loki had you near to climax in minutes. His cat ears tickled the rarely touched place where your pelvis meets your thigh, sending shivers through you. With a rough bite to your straining nub, he pulled away. "Loki! Keep going!", you practically shouted.

But you needn't have bothered. Slowly circling your fleshy pearl, Loki drew it between his soft lips, sucking lightly. You bucked against this delicious torment but Loki's grip on you tightened. His thumbs opened your dripping slit, giving him full access to plunder your depths with his articulate fingers.

Rocking your hips against Loki's hand, his mouth still taking nips and nibbles of you, your orgasm gains power. Your breathing catches, happy hums streaming out of you, as your inner walls tighten around Loki's driving digits. "Loki...... I'm going to cum..." It's a warning and a promise.

"Oh, sweetling, let go. Let me feel the power of your pleasure!" When Loki pressed down on your clit while curling his fingers against your velvet walls you lost your battle with control. First your muscles locked together in glorious, bone cracking tension, then you fell apart like a puppet with cut strings.

Loki stroked your silken skin through your climax, easing your body back to earth. Instead of stealing your energy, your release made you want more. Rolling up onto your knees you reach for your little kitten, tangling a hand in his ebony locks, before forcing your lips together.

You rush your hands down Loki's strong core, over the corded muscles of his abdomen, stopping at the heavy length of his cock. Through gritted teeth Loki sighs, "Careful darling."

"Would you be careful, my kitty cat? I don't think so." Sliding your soft palm along his steel length, you add a touch of pressure, and rub your thumb across his glistening head. Stroking Loki, you kiss him again, your tongue working against his mouth to the same rhythm as your hand.

Loki breaks your grip with a strained groan. "Inside you. I have to be inside you.", he whispers as he drops his forehead to yours, staring into your eyes.

Tenderly you sigh, "Fuck, Loki. That's hot."

Smiling broadly, he nods, "I know, Right?"

Before you can respond, Loki's laid himself on your bed, back resting upon the headboard, his erection proud and ready. "Come here!" Patting his lap, excitement evident, he's in a rush for you to join him.

Pausing to unzip the restricting corset you've been in all night, you let it and the satin cape slide off your shoulders but you keep the boots on. Loki's eyes drink in your gorgeous body, his bottom lip held in anticipation. You reach up to remove the paper helmet hugging your brow only to stop when Loki hummed, "Keep it on."

Giggling softly you nod. There's something carnal about your near nudity which makes you feel emboldened. It's that same power you had in Loki's costume, the feeling of infinite possibilities, all uniting for you. The thrill of it makes you slick with need for the wicked man you're straddling between your thighs.

Your pelvis streched over Loki's, his straining cock pressed between your bodies, those large hands of his molded to you hips. Stroking his length once more, you raised up on your knees and guided him into your tunnel. Loki pushed down on your curves, driving himself inside of you with glorious purpose in one stroke.

Stuttering out a curse word, your head fell back, exposing your neck to Loki and his ravishing lips. With his strong arms pulling you tighter, you rolled your being onto his, taking more and more of Loki's body each time.

When his lips found your breast you groaned. Out of instinct you gripped Loki's head and pulled him closer. His hands drifted down your spine, over your ass cheeks, and hugged you tighter than you thought possible. Your nipples were covered in wet kisses, faint impressions of Loki's teeth were red on your skin, and still you wanted more from him.

Grinding together, your sensitive bud rubbing so deliciously against Loki, your body nears the peak of its passion. His grip on you drags you down, harder and harder, spearing your spiral of desire. Your tender walls shudder around the hard heat of his member. "You're going to cum, little one. I can feel it. Please, please cum for me."

The humid breath of his broken whisper in your ear sends your body into bliss. Shuddering around Loki's bones, you hear him grunt and hold your hips wide over his own as he spills his sexual release into your receptive skin. Gripping him hard enough to bruise, you're locked together, sharing a single body... a single breath.

It takes you both a long while before your breathing returns to normal. Never taking his precious blue eyes off of yours, Loki brushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "I hope my queen is satisfied..." he teases.

"Hmmmmm... yes... yes she is... and my scary black cat?", you ask as you flick one of the flocked ears, now slightly askance. "Oh, he'd purr in pleasure... if that were possible."

Loki stirs inside of you making you jump. "Wait... please. Just a little longer, Loki." You're not ready to let go of his body, his spirit, his heart, just yet. Wrapping your arms across his shoulders, you rest your chin in the crook of Loki's neck and idly play with a lock of his hair.

"Loki?" You murmur, drowsy and still a teeny bit tipsy.

"Yes, darling?" He turns his bright eyes to yours.

"Next year we're going as Westley and Buttercup, from The Princess Bride..." You yawn and slide off Loki's lap, wrapping the comforter around you both.

With a gentle smile, Loki answers, "As you wish, little one."

[blarrghe]

“Hands brushing unexpectedly” maybe on one of those tourist attractions...? 👀

This was cute!! Dorian and Anders don’t have a lot of time for sight seeing, but they do their best. Some wining and pining... below the cut or here it is on AO3! --

Friends. That was what they had decided to be. Anders was satisfied with the arrangement in principle, but the problem with being friends with Dorian was… well, everything. 

He was sad. Very obviously and very understandably not in a good place. But following that first meeting, he zipped himself right up, kept all that aching intensity to himself. He changed subjects ever and away from his mood, his thoughts, his desires; treating Anders more and more like a casual acquaintance as a distance spread itself, a bit belatedly, between them. They talked about politics, they talked about medicine, they talked about magic, and all the time his flawless hair would shine and his voice would cut through the air with enviable confidence and his hands would bounce about with passion. He was tall and silver-eyed and beautiful, and something in Anders desperately wanted to hold him. But he didn’t — couldn’t. Dorian was hands tied behind his back and perfect posture kept at an insurmountable distance, and Anders wasn’t about to force himself through. Friends. Every now and then, they got coffee. A minute here or there between meetings and rounds. Sometimes late at night, they’d have long conversations over text about everything and nothing at all, and Anders would try to remind himself that on the other side of that screen, Dorian was probably drunk. Emboldened by alcohol and the illusion of anonymity in a text message. The next time Anders saw him, his guard would be back up, and whatever was honest about him would get swept back underneath a thick carpet of sarcasm and flirtation.

And oh, Maker, the flirtation. It wasn’t fair, really; an apostate mage from the gutters of Kirkwall pitted in wordplay against a shining star politician of Tevinter high society. It was like he’d been born to flatter and beguile. Anders had had a reputation for sass, once, as a mouthy lad in the Circle. Later, Isabella and Varric had been fine players to practice a game of wits with, but Dorian was better than silver-tongued, rich with fine words and perfect-teeth-bearing smiles. Varric would have had a field day, mining the man for dialogue. But it was a cold sort of flirtation, more game and art than anything else. He used it with everyone; ordering coffee, thanking store clerks and cab drivers for their time, giving directions to wayward tourists, it was just his way, nothing special. Problem was, each time Dorian flashed that shining, secret-keeping smile at him, Anders felt special. Or wanted to. 

“Follow me,” Dorian had met him at their usual coffee shop, standing outside with two paper cups already, Anders’ usual order and his own. He handed him his coffee and turned to march off, motioning Anders along as he headed off fast down the busy street. Anders stumbled to catch up, drinking the coffee as they went. 

“I only have an hour,” he warned, brows furrowing as Dorian led them across the avenues in a straight line away from the coffee shop and the nearby hospital. He tossed his own espresso straight back and threw the cup away into the next rubbish bin they passed, pausing to separate the plastic from the paper. A small thing that something in Anders appreciated far too much. 

“And I have forty-five minutes,” Dorian tossed him one of those smirks that were not, he repeated to himself, special. “So try to keep up.” 

He made a sharp turn down a sloping main street, and then the ocean leapt into view. At the bottom of the hill was a small beach, one of the city’s less crowded, close as it was to the harbour. Great tankers and commercial ships sat heavily in the grey water, blocking the view of a sunny, tropical horizon, as might be found on the wider beaches further up the coast. There was a dog park, and a playground, and several ice cream trucks were sidled up to the curb by an overstuffed parking lot. Children played at the playground and obnoxiously fit people trotted along the walking path that wound around the park and then off along the coast towards those bigger, better beaches. Dorian stopped at the bottom of the hill, toes poking over the edge of the small grassy field of the park where it gave way to gritty brown sand. There were volcanic sand beaches on the islands out at sea, glowing black in the sun a day’s ferry away from the harbour, and clean white beaches spanned long lines of coast away from the city, if one drove the Imperial highway some hours out of town, or took the once-a-day train, but this beach was just brown, smelling a bit of seaweed and city smog amidst the salty breeze and the sun. Anders breathed in deep as the wind whipped up from the ocean, tasting the salt as it mingled with city grime, reminding him a little, but not enough, of home. 

“Alright, stand here,” said Dorian, turning and gesturing out, his shoes sinking into the sand, “look out over there, and take this:” 

Anders looked out where Dorian had pointed, across a clear swatch of sand and chirping gulls and into the waves, away from the obstructions of wharfs and ships. Dorian reached into his bag — a strappy leather briefcase that had more buckles on it than it could possibly need — and pulled out an entire bottle of red wine. He handed it to Anders. 

“There, not quite the view from the cliffs, but it's the air that matters.” He gestured out at the view as Anders warily took the bottle. It was wrapped in thick, textured paper, an elegant script declaring the year and the vineyard over a label designed after a painting of the ocean under a setting sun. Anders looked between the bottle and the horizon, where the sun was just beginning to dip into a red glow. In the painting, the waves washed up against a picturesque bank of rock and sand, not seaweed and seagulls, but the sunset matched. “I can’t imagine you’ll ever find the time to actually get out of the city, so this will have to do.”

Another of those Tevinter must-sees that Anders had scandalized Dorian by having never seen: Tevinter wine country. They’d talked about the importance of wine once, and Anders had been unable to be convinced to appreciate it, much to Dorian’s chagrin. A glass of wine at one of those cliffside vineyards along the coast was, according to Dorian, akin to taking a seat at the very side of the Maker himself. Dorian waved a casual hand over the bottle as Anders held it, loosening the cork so that it slid out with a quiet pop. Anders’ eyes lingered over his fingers as they flicked out this frivolous bit of magic. He was full of little tricks like that, as self-serving and casual with his magic as a Magister was expected to be. Anders could set a bone, but Dorian had a spell for uncorking wine — of course he did. 

“I don’t drink,” Anders protested, shaking the image of his dancing hands casting spells under the sunset out of his vision and redirecting his look, with a healthy show of skepticism, at the bottle. “I’m still working.” 

“Well, first of all, you’re getting ahead of things. You need to let it have some air, first. Just breathe it in.” Dorian instructed with a nod. Anders shook his head, but wafted a hand over the mouth of the bottle and inhaled, smelling the sea salt and spice.

It smelled good. He wasn’t homesick, with the wine in the air, and the sudden rush of warmth hitting him now felt nothing like Kirkwall. Dorian smiled, watching his face as he inhaled. Deep red of the sunset-stained sea and the dark sweetness of finely aged grapes. Bright teeth and a seductive lean to his lips. He could practically taste it. 

“Feel that? Now, one sip won’t kill you.” Anders shook his head again, rolling his eyes. 

“I know what wine tastes like.” He had nothing against drinking, it just seemed to filter through him while bypassing all the fun parts. And without that, wine lost most of its appeal. 

“You’re Ferelden,” Dorian jabbed back, a continuation of their earlier argument on the subject, “no you don’t.” 

Anders sighed and took a sip. 

The gulls cawed, a ship’s horn blasted noisily across the harbour, dogs barked and swings creaked and ice cream trucks jingled out their ditties, but Anders wasn’t there. He looked out at the sunset, red across the foaming grey sea and brown sand, and held the wine on his tongue. He leaned back, free hand dropping to his side as he closed his eyes, and let the warmth soak in. Spice and cherry and old smokey oak, smooth and dry and only sweet after it had some time to linger. He swallowed, and passed the bottle back. 

Dorian took a sip, and stared out over the water with all those troubles of his, eyes just as tumultuous and grey as the waves themselves as he cast them out into the sunset. Anders felt himself leaning a little closer.

“So? Do you concede?” Dorian asked, too close, after a moment too long. 

“It’s good wine,” he took the bottle again, and risked himself one more very small sip before passing it back. 

“I told you it mattered,” Dorian took another, larger swig, “the winery, the vintage, the air —”

“The company,” Anders added, winning himself another pleased smile, feeling special. 

Dorian leaned back and closed his eyes with one more sip, each drink seeming to draw them a little closer. Anders watched the sun set and filled his lungs with a slow, careful breath of salty air. Down at his side, miles away from his conscious thought, his hand found Dorian’s and brushed against it for all of an instant; just a fleeting rush of heat and giddy inebriation before Dorian’s hand flinched itself away. 

Dorian resealed the bottle and packed it back into his briefcase. He grinned with the satisfaction of having won his argument, and walked Anders back up the street with fast strides, bragging about Tevinter wines. They parted ways again at the coffee shop with nothing more than nods and waves. 

The flirting was toothless, ordinary; not special. Dorian kept his sad secrets to himself, his flirting all talk. Friends, they’d agreed. Arguments about wine and quick cups of coffee, and sometimes wine-sweetened text messages that were almost vulnerable, after the sun had set.

[cynicalrainbows]

The Next Best Thing: AU Oneshot

@upsettimyspagetthi begged to have an alternative storyline where Jocasta left Edmund and ran away with baby Kitty so that Kitty could grow up happily...

‘Thank you again for having us, Jane-’ Jocasta shifted her infant daughter from one arm to the other to allow her to juggle with the carrier bags that were just about managing to cut off all circulation in her fingers. ‘I don’t know what we would have done if-’

‘Stop it’ Jane shook her head, faux sternly. ‘Please, for the last time, stop thanking me. Seriously. If you thank me again or apologise again, you’re sleeping on the sofa.’

‘But seriously though-’

Jocasta tried to take back the bags that Jane had taken from her so that she could carry them herself. 

‘-and I will take back the nice silent pink cat I brought for Kitty’s birthday-’ Jane continued, holding the bags out of her reach and talking as if Jocasta hadn’t spoken. ‘- and I will pick out the nosiest and most annoying thing I can find. Preferably one that plays a tune.’

Jocasta gave up trying to snatch her luggage away. Jane had always been the more athletic of the two, as proven by years worth of shared netball matches and swimming lessons, not to mention countless nights out dancing in whatever seedy nightclub took the least notice of their borrowed I.D cards.

‘You wouldn’t.’

‘Try me.’ Between them, they started to lug Jocasta’s luggage along the narrow hallway and up the stairs of Jane’s block of flats. ‘I don’t even have to wait for her birthday, I could just buy it just because...and when she’s old enough, I’ll get her a furby too.’

‘Oh Jane, no please, you know how creepy they are! Why would you even want to buy your goddaughter one, you hate them!’

‘I do-’ Jane conceded, stepping neatly round a little pile of ash and cigarette butts in the middle of a step. ‘But I also know YOU hate them too so….’

‘You’re evil, did you know that?’

‘Ah, but to Kitty, I’ll just be her favourite Aunty Jane who showers her with toys…’

Jane dug a key from her pocket and let them both into the small flat. 

‘I wouldn’t put it past you….’ Jocasta’s smile faded somewhat as she looked around. ‘Although maybe I shouldn’t discourage you….it’s not like I’m in a position to buy her toys myself. Or clothes or- y’know, put a roof over her head.’

She kept her tone determinedly light but her eyes stung as the reality of her situation hit her. Homeless, if not for Jane, jobless, boyfriendless- and with a baby too. Granted, the lack of boyfriend was more of a plus than a negative- and not even accidental but the result of four months of careful planning with Jane. Still. The thought was more than a little frightening.

‘Hey-’ The teasing look slid from Jane’s face at the first hint of her friends distress and she wrapped a warm arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. ‘You’ve done the best- the most important thing you could ever do for her, ok? You’ve kept her safe.’

‘Safe and homeless- just what every kid needs-’

‘No.’ Jane pulled back and looked at her sternly. ‘Not homeless. Look. Look around, Are you on the streets?’

Jocasta tilted her head to keep her tears at bay. ‘Jane-’

‘Answer me, are you?’

‘-No.’

‘No. You’ve brought her from a flat where both she and you were at the risk of god knows what….you’ve brought her to someone who loves you both very, very much. Where you can both be safe. Ok?’

Reluctantly, Jocasta nodded. ‘Sorry, just…. Oh god, it’s hard-’

‘I know.’ Jane pulled her back in again. ‘I know it is. I went through the same thing, don’t forget.’

‘I haven’t.’ Wearily, Jocasta wiped her eyes and shifted her sleeping daughter in her arms. ‘I know I’m being pathetic about it all-’

‘Stop it. You know that’s not what I meant. What I was trying to say is that you’re not alone in this, ok? I’m going to be with you every step of the way and you’ll be back on your feet before you know it.’ Jane nudged her gently. ‘If I can make it, you can too. You were always the clever one.’

‘Do you really think we’ll be ok?’

The question was hesitant but Jane’s answer was immediate. ‘Of course.’ 

She guided Jocasta over the small sofa. ‘Just wait, in a couple of years, this will be just one of those memories we look back on when we’ve had too much wine and are getting all sentimental and maudlin. You and Kitty will have a place of your own- that’s just yours and no one else's. You’ll be able to work again, without anyone in the background complaining that you’re not at his beck and call-’

‘I can’t imagine it’ Jocasta shook her head sadly. ‘I can’t imagine it all happily like that Jane, with everything working out, I can’t picture it-’

‘Shhhhh’ Jane reached out and took her goddaughter into her arms so that Jocasta could make herself comfortable. ‘Let me imagine it for both of us then- and then I’ll be able to say I told you so and remind you of how right I was. Just think, Kitty will be three or four by then! She’ll be so big, she’ll be talking and waking-’

‘But she’s so tiny-’

‘-she’ll be running around getting into things, just like we used to when we were kids. Asking a million questions like you used to, driving everyone mad-’

 Jocasta gave a watery chuckle.

‘She won’t remember Edmund, she won’t remember any of this. But she’ll be so loved. More loved than any little girl ever was before. More than you or I was.’

A tear slid down Jocasta’s cheek. ‘That sounds…..nice.’

‘I’ll spoil her rotten. I’ll tell her all the embarrassing stories from when we were little- I’ll tell her about all the times you came up with schemes that got me into trouble-’

‘Don’t you dare give her any ideas!’

‘-and all the games we played, I’ll sing her all the songs that we used to like.’ Jane squeezed her friend's hand. ‘And she’ll be so happy. So cared for. And she won’t make the mistakes we made because we’ll be looking out for her. She’ll have a good life, Jo. And when we’re old and watching her go off to uni or move into her own home, when she’s getting married or having her own children, or doing whatever she does with her life and we’re so proud of her, I’ll say I told you so, ok?’

‘Promise?’

‘Promise.’

[hardnoctlife]

My Thoughts on FFVIIR

It’s been a few days since I finished FFVIIR, and I wanted to put my thoughts on the game into words, but I gotta get a few housekeeping things out of the way.

1.       These are all MY opinions. I understand and respect that others may have different opinions from me, however, that does not make this an open invitation for argument in the comments, bashing, etc. I have no problem blocking anyone who wants to be an asshole. Just be nice, please.

2.       I grew up playing FFVII and all of its spin-offs. FFVII was my first RPG, and ultimately what got me into playing video games. Nostalgia is a -huge- part of why I enjoyed FFVIIR so much, and therefore I am openly biased towards the game. I’m interested to hear the thoughts of people not familiar with the original, because they’re seeing the story with a fresh set of eyes.

3.       With that being said, I’ve already noticed drama surrounding FFVIIR fans who -have- played the original vs. those who haven’t, or those who haven’t played Crisis Core, etc. I am firmly of the belief that this is a great game for new and old fans and won’t tolerate any condescending attitudes in either direction. Video games are supposed to be fun, so let’s just all agree to enjoy the thing TOGETHER, shall we?

Alright, now that those things are out of the way, onto my thoughts. **MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD**

I’m going to be breaking this up into sections, because there is just too much to dissect! Let’s start with the characters.

“The Good Guys”

Cloud: Still my favorite character of all time, even more so after playing the remake. And of course, he is gorgeous. I could stare into his eyes all day. I know there has been a lot of controversy over getting new voice actors for the remake, but I feel like his VA did a great job. They nailed his personality of “broody asshole with a heart of gold”, and I think the remake had reasonable and believable character development when it came to Cloud’s interactions with the other party members. His dynamic with Tifa, Aerith, and Barrett was also spot on. I think it was a good move on Squeenix’s part to keep him pretty much the same, because he’s such an iconic character for the entire Final Fantasy series, so no complaints on my part!

Jessie: Okay, so, I hated Jessie at first. She was too flirty and all over Cloud for my liking, and I felt this strange disconnect between the “I used to be an actress but now I’m fighting for the planet” part of her backstory. Yes, she was still spunky in the original, but they didn’t draw it out nearly as much (I assume because she was killed off early). I -do- appreciate that the developer’s felt the need to give her more depth and show more interactions between her and Cloud and everyone else, but I also thought it detracted from Cloud’s relationships with Tifa and Aerith to an extent, especially the whole scene where she was asking him to come back to her place with him (yikes). And, true to Squeenix form, they killed off her character, even while letting Biggs and Wedge live (they both died in the original). So, in that sense, I didn’t really care that much for her, although her final scene with Cloud was very moving and redeemed her in some ways for me. So, yay for more screen time, but c’mon Squeenix, why do you gotta use your female characters this way?!

Biggs & Wedge: I loved the updates to their character models, and like with Jessie, I appreciate they tried to give them more depth and dialogue to make their involvement more significant. It did throw me for a loop when they both ended up living instead of dying when the Sector 7 plate fell. I was delighted to discover they survived (until I found out Jessie died and they didn’t). At times, I felt like their exalted importance detracted from other characters, especially at the end in Shinra HQ where Wedge shows up to warn everyone and Avalanche comes in to try and rescue Cloud & the gang, only to imply that he dies -there- instead. To me, it felt like an unnecessary moment to add in, but hey, there are only so many characters in the remake that people get to see, so why not give the Avalanche crew a more important role? I’m interested to see if this means that they’ll be returning in the next installments as they may be ‘fated’ to survive.

Barrett: What a glow up! Barrett looked good, he sounded good, his character was solid and true to the original. I have to say my favorite thing to see was how the banter and dialogue shifted between him and Cloud as you progressed through the remake. They went from basically hating on each other to complimenting each other and being buddy-buddy, and it was truly heartwarming. I even enjoyed using Barrett in battle (more on the fighting system later), which was refreshing. It was a good move on Squeenix’s part to show his softer side by including more scenes with Marlene, and he’s an excellent foil to Cloud’s character, which I feel was consistent for both games.

Tifa: My lady, the love of my life, my HERO. Tifa was -amazing- for me. Also, her VA was probably my favorite of the bunch. The updates to her outfit were much needed, yet she still retained her sexy allure, even if it was a little awkward to hear all the male NPC’s talking about how hot she was all the time. Other than Cloud, she was my favorite party member to use in battle—what a total badass!—and the scenes with her and Cloud made me squeal with delight. I was grateful for the extra attention put into their relationship, and how it was made clear that she was just as important and strong as the male characters.

Aerith: First, the positives. They expanded Aerith’s fighting range, which was appreciated, because in the original I only used her as healer. Her personality shone through a bit more, as she was even ore outgoing than I remembered her being (and even cursed a few times!), and I loved all of her interactions with Tifa and Cloud (my favorite trio/love triangle). Her backstory was pretty well communicated regarding the Ancients and her relationship with Shinra. On the flip side of things, I found her party banter annoying as hell and her voice grating at times (it reminded me of a high school girl), and I’m not sure how I feel about her interactions with the Whispers and what that implies for future installments. There was some hinting at the end of the remake that Aerith may not die like she did in the original (at least that was my interpretation), and I’m not sure whether I like that possibility or not, mainly because Aerith’s death is one of the most memorable scenes of FFVII, and that would change the entire plot. For better or for worse, who’s to say?

Red XIII: I loved all of the scenes with Red! His voice fit him really well, and they showed a lot of character development with him and the group in a short amount of time. I was sad you couldn’t control him in your party, but I’m hoping that will change in the next installment. I’m excited to see his backstory in Cosmo Canyon when we finally get to that point in the remake.

Chadley: This kid was annoying and weird, and I wasn’t sure exactly what his deal was, but he was definitely shady AF. Not sure why he was entirely necessary if he was simply a way to upgrade your materia, but hey, I’ll take that assess materia from ya buddy if it means new stuff for me to use. 

Johnny: Johnny grew on me. Was he also annoying and weird too? Yes. But he reminded me of a Prompto-Gladio lovechild and turned out to be a sweetheart, so I say he can stay, Squeenix.

“The Bad Guys”

Shinra executives: Not much to say here for me other than great job in bringing this diabolic group to life. Yep, still hate every one of ‘em. They stayed pretty much true to their original selves, and all of them matched what I remembered of them, right down to the dialogue. I thought it was an interesting choice to see Sephiroth kill President Shinra (in the original you just find him dead at his desk, impaled on Sephiroth’s sword), but I’m not complaining. That guy was a grade A asshole.

The Turks: Love, love, love how they portrayed each of these guys, and showed how they are also unwilling participants in all of Shinra’s shit. They definitely made them more likeable from the get-go and I felt a lot of callbacks to Advent Children. Reno cursing and being sassy was probably one of my favorite things out of the entire game. He had -so- many great lines, even if they weren’t direct translations of the Japanese. I’m hoping they will include more of the Turks in future installments (like Cissnei in Crisis Core) and continue fleshing out their story arcs.

Rosche: Okay, unpopular opinion, but I did not like this guy at all. I’m not sure what the hype is about him all over my social media. Could be the mullet, which is an automatic ‘no’ for me (Gladio from FFXV being the only exception), but he seemed like an irritating and very pointless addition to the game. His sole purpose appeared to be to prepare you for escaping Shinra and fighting from Cloud’s motorcycle towards the end, but I felt like he could have been taken out of the story entirely without missing anything. I didn’t hate as many of the newer characters (like Leslie) as much as I did him, but I guess he and I just didn’t vibe. I’m assuming he’ll return later on, so maybe my opinion will change. (I sure hope so.)

Leslie: Okay, at first, I was like, “who is this knock-off Noctis wannabe?” but I really enjoyed the backstory and depth they gave this seemingly minor character. I see that Squeenix is trying to provide new things for older fans to take interest in, and in this case, I felt he was a nice touch. (Edit: I was told that Leslie, Kyrie, and some of the other new NPCs were featured in an audio book?! Which I had no idea even existed, so...the more you know!)

Don Corneo: Even slimier and creepier in HD! Honestly, hats off to Squeenix for translating what was possibly the most cringy and controversial part of the original in a ‘tasteful’ way in regard to all of Wall Market. This guy was definitely a worthy villain in the remake.

Rufus: Holy hell. I never ever in my life thought I’d be saying this, but wow, is Rufus hotter than I remember. Thank you, Squeenix for giving me another foxy bad boy to drool over. He was also, for me, the hardest and most frustrating boss battle (even more so than Sephiroth), but it was totally worth dying to watch all the cut scenes with him over again. Can’t wait to see more of him in the next installment.

Hojo: God, I hate this guy. I know you’re -supposed- to, but he is such a creep. Hearing his dialogue in the remake was even worse than reading it in the original. Gotta say, dealing with his four wards in Shinra HQ was my least favorite part of the game by far, but I know he will get his comeuppance later down the road. All the dialogue was just as shocking as I remember, so, yeah. Good job?!

Sephiroth: Alright, anyone else feel like they made Sephiroth EXTRA SEXUAL in this remake?! You too? Oh, good, good, same bro. Now, it could just be me projecting, but anytime he came on the screen…panties were dropping y’all. Of course, I’m not one to complain about Sephiroth content. On the contrary, I lap it up like I just walked through the desert and found an oasis, BUT, I will say this…you barely see Sephiroth at all at this point in the original. As a reminder, the remake only covered the first 4-6 hours of the original game, and I get you can’t really do a remake without at least SHOWING Sephiroth for the people who have been waiting to see him in HD, but with that being said, he was VERY involved. I love Sephiroth, he’s a great villain, but they are definitely changing things with him, so I guess we will have to wait and see what happens.

My one criticism? His voice was my least favorite out of the main characters. Not saying the VA didn’t do a great job, but it didn’t sound deep enough to be as intimidating. I prefer the VA who voiced him in Advent Children, but I’m sure it will grow on me in time.

Gameplay

Battle system: When the remake’s demo was released, I remember a lot of people were complaining about how ‘difficult’ the new battle system was, but I absolutely love it. It’s just the perfect balance of turn-based and real-time, with plenty of options for customization. If you want more real time, you can set your short cuts, and if you want more turn-based, you also have that option. My only real complaint was that item use is also tied to the ATB bar, but overtime I figured out when to heal myself in a timely fashion (after dying more than a handful of times). Button mashers won’t enjoy this battle system because it requires a little more strategy, but I think the point was to create an updated version of the original fighting style that would appeal to both old and new players, and it definitely delivered. Seeing the classic limit breaks used and being able to run around during battle was so much fun for me, and I about died when I saw Cloud strike his OG victory pose in Wall Market’s coliseum. Also, the transition between running through Midgar and entering battle was SO incredibly smooth and seamless that at times you didn’t notice the shift. Phenomenal.

o   Boss Battles: As much as I enjoyed the battle system of remake, some of the bosses felt unnecessarily hard and/or tedious (I’m looking at you, Hell House). Making use of the assess materia early on definitely helped me out, but I legit got bored at times, especially that damn giant robot you fight with only Barrett and Aerith when escaping Shinra HQ. This is really just a minor complaint, but there were a couple bosses where I died several times (*cough* Rufus *cough*) before I figured out the secret to defeating them, while others were super easy or just not that interesting. Meh. For context, I played on “normal” mode, but it truly felt hard in certain scenarios. (That could just have been me trying to get used to the new fighting style.)

o   Materia: speaking of materia, I did notice some new materia in the game, which was neat, and although I didn’t care for Chadley (dude, where are your parents?) it was nice to have a way to develop and earn new materia throughout. I found it somewhat strange that summon materia was just a thing you could get so early on instead of having to work for it, but I was excited to use it. Shiva and Ifrit were definitely my favorite summons (which hasn’t changed from the original for me). My one big question: where is the freaking ‘all’ materia?! I know they kinda split ‘all’ up into many different types of materia, and you do have ‘pray’ for healing your entire party, but man, that was so versatile in the original so that was a hard adjustment for me not to have use of it.

o   Weapons: I think it’s cool that they developed an upgrade system to make use of your weapons long term, giving them their own abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. Made me think of FFX where you used the spheres to upgrade your characters. Also? I loved being able to see materia in my weapons when I switched them out. That was a really neat touch. 

Music: And here I thought they couldn’t make the music of the original game any more epic, but they definitely outdid themselves in the remake. I enjoyed hearing all the remixes and ways they wove the classic themes into different parts of the games. I think my favorite was when you’re going through sector 5 with Aerith and have to control the giant robotic hands. The music in that section SLAPPED. The in-game jukebox was also a nice way to honor the old school classics. Hearing Aerith’s theme for the first time just about made me cry, and listening to One-Winged Angel fighting Sephiroth? Nothing could beat that moment musically for me.

Side quests: I’m not sure about anyone else, but I really didn’t care for the side quests. They weren’t very fun for the most part, and considering how linear the game is, they felt more like chores that needed to be completed because I had to, and not because I wanted to. The only exception was Wall Market, but all-in-all, most of them didn’t add much to the story, unlike in FFXV where I could go down a rabbit hole of sidequests for hours and hours.

Graphics: This is clearly stating the obvious, as anyone with eyes will tell you, the game is nothing short of gorgeous. I cannot tell you how many screencaps I took of just Cloud. It was definitely a world that I wanted to run around in for hours (and did) and will do so again and again just to look at all the little details. My favorite thing to do is watch comparison videos of the original and remake openings side-by-side. How crazy is it that technology has come this far!

Playtime: My biggest critique of this game is that it was too damn short. Stretching the first 4-6 hours of the original into 40 was definitely impressive, but considering I waited 20+ years for the remake, it was pretty disappointing to finish the game in less than a week. Like most people, I’m wondering just how long they plan on stretching this out, how many installments there will be, and when the second part will be released. Hopefully not another ten years, but it -is- Squeenix we’re talking about...

Storyline

Most people who played will tell you that most of the remake stayed very true to the original, even lifting some of the exact dialogue and scenes. The nostalgia hit me so hard in parts that I was literally in tears. The first time I watched the opening in the demo, I cried. That’s the power this game has over many people, including myself.

In other ways, the remake improved on parts of the story or re-imagined them. We always knew it wasn’t going to be a copy and paste of the original story, which I’m sincerely grateful for. I would seriously hope that after 20+ years they would have thought of ways to improve or polish FFVII and make it new and exciting for returning fans and people just picking it up.

My pros regarding the updates in the story:

- They fleshed out many background characters and added in new ones. Most of the core group spent more time interacting, and the party banter felt natural and progressed realistically as the game went on.

- New mini-games and side quests expanded on the slums and made the areas larger and more interactive, yet they still kept the nostalgia of iconic locales.

- Plenty of fuel to fan shipping fires with emotionally charged scenes and pretty boys abounding (Cloti and Clerith especially).

- All of Wall Market was brilliantly done. I was wondering how they’d update it for the new generation, and it was seriously the best part of the game for me (and had me laughing the entire time).

-  Hinting that Zack is alive and/or Aerith may live is something I’m listing as a pro, only because I would love to see these characters used to their full potential, however, this is also a con for me, and I’ll explain why.

My cons:

Whispers: If you played the original, you probably had the same reaction as I did when the ‘Whispers’ showed up. “Wtf are these dementor-looking things?” At first, I thought they might be something similar to what we saw in Advent Children, and that they were ‘remnants’ or parts of Sephiroth, or somehow his minions, or even souls from the Lifestream, etc. When I found out they were actually supposed to be ‘protectors of fate’ or whatever, I rolled my eyes, especially when Barret was ‘killed’ by Sephiroth and then miraculously brought back to life. It felt very ‘deus ex machina’ to me in the sense that ‘everything has to go a certain way because we said so.’ While it makes sense, I really wasn’t buying it, but I’m assuming that we will learn more about them in the second installment. 

The Ending: The whole final boss battle of the remake was surprising, because it felt almost exactly like the final boss bottle of the original game, right down to the cutscene where Cloud is thrown through space and faces off against Sephiroth one-on-one. Before you defeat the ‘harbinger of fate’ (anyone else get KH heartless vibes?) and fight Sephiroth as the final boss, Aerith goes on her long spiel about ‘fate’ and ‘destiny’ and ‘this will change us,’ and it’s laid on so thick that it’s almost like they were setting us up for an alternate timeline, which is entirely possible, but that’s all speculation at this point. Regardless, they made it clear that whatever is coming next is going to be -very- different from the original, or possibly is going to be another timeline of the story, especially since Zack was shown alive and well. One criticism I heard from someone who hadn’t played the original game was that they treated Sephiroth and Zack like people you were supposed to know, and I can agree with that. They didn’t spend -any- time explaining their significance, backstory, or why people were so afraid of Sephiroth other than showing you little flashbacks into Cloud’s deranged memories, so in that sense, the ending might have fallen flat for those who don’t know exactly what Sephiroth represents or who he is, or why he stole Jenova from Hojo’s lab, etc, etc. Plus, throwing in Zack at the end is something that anyone who played the original game or Crisis Core would get, but new fans would also not understand the significance of. Personally, I screamed when I saw Zack because I was so happy , but I can see why that ending would be very unsatisfying and/or confusing for some.

Overall: 9/10

No, it doesn’t get a 10/10 for me, even as someone who absolutely loves Final Fantasy VII, but hey, no game is perfect. It’s honestly hard to live up to the hype this game has created since it was officially announced, and all things considered, Squeenix -did- live up to it. I will still be eagerly awaiting part two, playing the shit out of this game and squeezing the most I can out of it until I get to experience more.

I’d love to hear what other people thought (so long as the discourse is respectful of course). If you read this far, thanks for listening to my ramblings!

[leondaltons]

💘 + lottie & casper!!

where they first met and how

They first met back in high school!! Almost everyone around town knows the last name “Dupont'' because of how long the family has been there and with what they are associated but i’m guessing hadn’t put her face with the name until one day she caught him and his friends pranking her locker (you know that gilmore girls gifset where they are writing a phone number and then the dude says “write mine” when he sees Alexis bledel? well like that lol)

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

aksjasa Casper has been flirting with her since the moment he saw her and the boy hasn’t stopped even after all these years of rejection. She started to “flirt back” only some months before feelings get involved (her flirt back is calling him an idiot, sending him spicy pictures and then blocking him lol)

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

this one is easy, Casper ahahah. Boy has been wiped since he was a teen ahahaha

where their first date was and what it was like

first real date when they are like, officially dating? Casper took her out for dinner and some drinks to a small restaurant with a view to the beach where they would sometimes meet each other before dating, it’s small enough to keep it intimate but also casual. Second date he takes her to see his band play and honestly she goes 👀👀 Their first is a little weird at first, i mean they have known each other for years now and Lottie has a hard time being emotionally vulnerable, but she tries so things gets better once the food is on the table ahahaah

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

i think casper has asked lottie out in every way you can imagine, but one of the biggest was when he asked out for prom; he did this big public thing and it officially backfired

who proposes first

casper, hands down! I honestly don’t know if marriage is something that Lottie ever thought she needed in her life, like she would be happy without it but if he wants to then she would say yes without thinking ♥

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

well they started making out and sleeping together (before an official relationship) and they were done kind of in secret, i think? mainly because of Lottie and her refusal to admit she had feelings or was actually interested in Casper

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

Casper proposes the same way he asked her for prom (the one that backfired lol) it’s really big and almost identical, his way of reminding her how long he has liked her. Lottie can’t believe she is saying “yes” to this but in a way can’t stop smiling and feels so lucky to have him in her life

if they adopt any pets together

My take is that they adopt another cat to keep lottie’s cat company!!!

who’s more dominant

In bed? definitely Casper hahaha

where their first kiss was and what it was like

I’m thinking their first kiss was either in the middle of the night in an empty street or in a really dark pub. It was definitely heated and angry; when things that have been building for a while inevitably explode (context: casper was probably teasing her and pushing Lottie’s buttons while they were arguing about something and she kind of snapped and kissed him)

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

Maaaaaaaaaaybe deep in the relationship they get matching mugs? I can’t really see Lottie wearing matching sweaters AT ALL nasbajkshajk. Oh and at some point she gifts him the same necklace she has with her birth stone

how into pda they are

I would say that once they are dating they are very into it. Lottie has no problem in making out in public or sitting on his lap

who holds the umbrella when it rains

Casper ♥

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

I think they meet a lot in each other’s home, mainly because it’s the place they are more comfortable doing whatever they are doing. But there is also this small bar/restaurant with a view to the beach where they accidentally met a few times that Lottie really likes. It’s small and comfortable and their official first date was there

who’s more protective

This one is a really close one but I think i’m gonna give it to Lottie, I think? She doesn’t have too many people she REALLY loves but she would fight with claws and teeth for the ones she does loves

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

after they finally kiss? jashajsa not long at all, maybe some weeks after it i’m guessing?

if they argue about anything

pre relationship? about everything lmao. Well mainly Lottie argues and Casper just pressing her buttons. In relationship they still do but not as much or seriously enough

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

Casper aksjasa (i mean that photo of Lottie with the hickeys👀)

who steals whose clothes and how often

she steals A LOT of his tshirts

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

spooning!!!

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

mmmm I like to think that Lottie ends up asking Casper to teach her how to play the guitar, she finds it super sexy and she would really enjoy him teaching her. I think they would also enjoy sharing time together, she with a good book while he plays with his guitar in the same sofa

how long they stay mad at each other

Lottie can stay mad for weeks if the situation deserves, but a good number is probably some days and after that she slowly starts to let go. Casper gives me the vibe he can’t stay mad for too long ahahah

what their usual coffee / tea orders are

Casper likes his coffee with tons of sugar and Lottie orders one of those super sweet frappuccinos that are more sugar than coffee lmao

if they ever have any children together

Both Casper and Lottie are a little scared for being parents for different reasons, but after she accidentally gets pregnant and they kind of freak out at first, they kind of settle into it and are great parents

if they have any special pet names for each other

Lottie just calls him Casper or “idiot” lol

if they ever split up and / or get back together

once they get together they don’t split up again ♥

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

I think it would be some kind of messy order if that makes sense? like clean dishes on the counter and maybe some clothes on the floor, probably a lot of things like books or paper over the tables but they know exactly where everything is. Definitely a lot of plants and candles

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

I think their first new year together is actually kind of nice? I’m thinking Lottie invites him to have dinner with her grandma and her! maybe he can bring his father if he wants too!! Her grandma is great at cooking and Lottie makes a delicious apple pie (honestly the only thing she knows how to bake lol). When midnight comes she doesn’t say anything but slowly and delicately interlaces their fingers; it's small and simple, but it means a lot. Lottie’s house is at the outskirts of town, so if it’s too late or there is too much snow, then he (and his father if he came) are more than welcome to stay the night……. 

what their names are in each other’s phones

Casper's name changed a lot through the years lmao, at first it was “??????” then it move to “Casper Nahm” to “C*****” to “Casper DO NOT PICK UP” and now is just “Casper” lmao

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

Casper waits until Lottie closes the store and then walks her home talking about their day. Every Thursday they meet for lunch at the diner (maybe they also do it other days too but Thursdays is a must). And every anniversary, Lottie gifts Casper a guitar pick (plus his other gift)

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

askjasa i think Lottie is the first one to fall asleep but also the first to wake up, honestly she can fall asleep everywhere ahahah

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

Casper is the little spoon!!! And Lottie is the big spoon and totally loves it!

who hogs the bathroom

Casper, I didn’t have to even think about it haahhaah

who kills the spiders / takes them outside

Lottie kills the spider with a lot of strength and passion hahahah