#remind me to watch love is war
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I'm kind of obsessed with the wikivoyage page for israel like... just read it
#jumblr#israel#ישראבלר#personal thoughts tag#i'm not obsessed with this article for bad reasons of course! in fact i really relate with this portrayal of israel because... same lmao#israelis: is this true...#i know a *little* about israeli culture but that's not the same as living in israeli culture#i'm a bit obsessed with the casual language on a wikipedia-affiliated source i think#i'm so used to the academic language that 'lets cut to the chase' just surprises me to read LMAO#if the ID is off please let me know!! i skimmed it but i copied it off my phone's built-in text copier in screenshots#they have a huge warning on the article like THERE IS A WAR... you don't have to remind me just let me pretend that i can go to israel LMAO#ngl when i was a kid i LOVED watching the news
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If you have an f/o that loses many people close to them, imagine them allowing themselves to grieve in front of you. To be held in your arms as their shoulders shake with the force or their crying because they need to let it out or it'll consume them from the inside out. They can be vulnerable with you, they can fall apart with you, knowing you'll help them pick the pieces back up.
#jane journals#self insert talk#💙 oh captain my captain 💙#this is about rex ; w ;#my partner and best friend and i watched a particularly intense arc of the clone wars last night#it was funnnnn love when star wars hurts me!!#but goddd it goes without saying that rex loses people he cares for every single day#its what they were 'meant' to do. they were made to be expendable#but he knew and cared for every single man in his troop and thats gotta weigh on him over time#idk while the Really Sad part was happening in the ep i couldnt help but think how brea would comfort him#would hold him close and tight and keep him grounded#and ofc she grieves with him.#ougghhhh this reminds me of an old fic i was working on FOREVER ago 🤔🤔#i didnt have an ending for it but...now im thinking
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I'm sorry I can't take your call right now, I'm becoming unhinged about Transformers again,,,
#i just. man#first of all i was super into it when i was younger. optimus prime has long been a projectable (and ratchet too‚ from tfp)#but even that's like more recent. when i was SEVEN i was running around in circles to the transformers 1980 theme and re-binging the movie#(autism? what? who? where? but fr it was like a daily thing p much where me and my brothers would just lose it to that song. good ol' days)#transformers#for the search function lol. anyways back to the ramble: the obsession started young and continued throughout my teenage years#the transformers prime version was ABSOLUTELY peak and clears every time. still SO good my brothers and i binged the heck out of that too#but i don't think we ever got to watch the movie??? or maybe it was season 3??? either way i remember being like WHAT OPTIMUS IS EVIL???#and never getting resolution which i still need to do (also reminding me of clone wars...never did finish that one and still not spoiled)#anyway yeah the nintendo 3DS transformers prime game was yet another staple of my childhood. fave main was optimus obvs#but it just fills me with joy to see the resurgence in this and also makes me feel some complex emotions because it's a part of little me#and that version of me feels like so long ago...my own orion pax in a way#11-year-old me checking out giant lore books and speeding through them (i need to find this one book!! it's been years!!#it was the first transformers tome i ever read and told the story of orion pax!! and i vaguely remember the cover? but not the title! help!)#ANYway yes just feeling a lot of feelings and. i love transformers#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay has a party in the tags#also if you're reading this: i voted and you should too!!!
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Y'all think Wyatt Erup and Doc Holliday ever explored eachothers bodies??
#i watched Wyatt Erup and the cowboy war and im not normal about any rendition of Erup and Doc#like....#you think they were bfs in...best frinds? or bfs in boyfriends??#like.....#DO YOU THINK THEY KISSED!?!?#cowboys#gay cowboys#<-amiright or amiright???#wyatt earp#doc holliday#wyatt erup and the cowboy war#tombstone#<- THST GETS TSGGED BECUSE GAY GAY HOMESECURAL GAY#which reminds me- (gay sam elliot ideas because fuck)#ok corral#westerns#love them they should have more gay stuff#eveyonebsee my visions
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WHEN TRANSFORMERS ONE RELEASES IN THEATRES THE AUTISM WILL NOT BE ABLE TO BE CONTAINED. EXPLODES
#OHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDFDFDDDDDSDDSSD#DUDEEEEEEEE IT LOOKS SO.#ITS#For once in my life I can't be a hater I really do have to take on the visage of a nostalgia brained lover of big robot#GOD CYBERTRON LOOKS SO GOOD#If I don't see some aspects of Cybertronian culture and daily life in here I'm gonna lose it#Like what do people DO how do jobs work where do people go for fun for work where do they hang out#I REQUIRE#FEED ME#transformers one#OH ALSO was that Airachnid??????? Hi??????? Was the spider????? When???????#Also were some of the faceless dudes in there inspired by transformers prime's vehicons??? I was watching in low res I need help on this#ALSO the rendering REALLY reminds me of war for Cybertron which is sick as hell#I played a ton of it with my brother when we were kids so it's. I'm nostalgic :)#I love robots somebody dissect the trailer for me so I can explode over it
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was just rewatching Jack Saint and Patricia Taxxon's video on Mauler (it's called "Long Critique Is Not Deep Critique" and it's like actually so fucking good) and was so taken aback by hearing Twin Peaks music in there now that i've actually seen Twin Peaks lmao, that Laura Palmer theme is so fucking good, Angelo Badlamenti is just truly on another level, i already wanna rewatch the show now (S02 is good, y'all are just cowards).
#james talks#twin peaks#i saw both seasons last year back when i was still on twitter#and haven't seen The Return yet. might do a full rewatch just to be able to watch The Return properly.#plus i wanna rewatch now that i've actually seen Fire Walk With Me which i was pretty disappointed by the first time#and The Missing Pieces really helped me get over some of that disappointment#i miss Log Lady. i hope The Return also has her introducing the episodes like the original show does.#anyway the video itself is very good#love coming back to it every year or so to plumb its depth and remind myself to reign in my desires to keep getting my work longer#like i'd like to think even my longest critiques on letterboxd like my 8000 word CA: Civil War review is pretty substantive#i don't do summary at all really so it's just my opinions about stuff and what worked and didn’t work for me and why and stuff#and a bunch of criticism with mild praise#but anyway love the video#it's really good#go watch it if you haven't#also if you're curious about my thoughts on all of Twin Peaks that i've seen: they're all in my FWWM review on letterboxd. link in bio.#jack saint#patricia taxxon#mauler
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tbh that last ask reminded me...
#i finished arcane's new season not last night but the night before#and i don't really do “fandom” shit#but yesterday i was just watching some videos and looking at art and stuff#and i was kinda surprised that people interpreted jayce and viktor as being gay?#i personally always interpreted them as just being friends?#just reminds me that men cannot show any kind of intimacy or affection without being presumed gay#and i'm not saying jayce and viktor aren't gay -- i have no idea what the canon says#i'm just speaking more generally#i just remember moments in my life when i wanted to show affection to my bros#and i didn't or i had to wait until no one was around#because i knew we'd be called gay and like i don't give a shit but i wouldn't want to put my friend in that position#like in high school on the football team#one time my qb wasn't playing his best and we lost a big game and he felt a lot of guilt#the whole team tried to comfort him -- placed their hands on his shoulders#told him it was okay#but once everyone was out of the locker room i approached him#because i was a lineman right? he's my boy. i protect him every day.#and he was just one of my best friends at the time#and like i knelt beside him and put my forehead to his#told him reassuring shit and that i love him and everything#and i just know for a fact that if any of these tumblr girls saw that shit they'd assume we were gay#and it's lowkey annoying as fuck#lmao#like bros go off to war and die for their friends all the time#bros have been doing that since the dawn of history#it doesn't necessarily imply romantic/sexual feelings#you can have strong passionate love for people of the same sex without it being romantic/sexual
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are you being challenged? are you trying new things and getting new experiences? are you different from who you were 5 years ago? are you compromising? are you seeing things from another perspective regularly? are you getting better?
are you stagnating? are you prioritising comfort? are surrounding yourself with people and places that let you stay in place? have you compromised recently? are you aware that yours is not the only way?
#personalig#that long ass post gas just really reminded me of the recurring problems with 90% of the usa americans i encounter#and of course we can all stagnate but MAN there is this person i keep meeting that says things like “i need to focus on myself”#but then DOESN'T and also knows nothing about the world and its WILD#“why do you know so much about Palestine?” the proxy war 70% funded by my US tax dollars? why do i know about that?#“why do you know so much about [other places]?” the other places on the planet that we all share??????????#like?? forreal???#and i don't even know that much but like wow?????#pls go read a book from another country#please watch a movie or tv show from another place#please google some history from somewhere else#please go eat food from other places#please for the love of g*d interact with people who are different from you and be normal about it
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hey guess who's writing star wars fic again?? yep it's me, lol, we'll see how long this lasts...
#i have become so bad at writing lol#the fact that words have actually appeared on my screen#feels like a miracle#writing is hard#i think finally watching andor#has reminded me i still love star wars yay!
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watching a movie my coworker recommended
and I know he's going to ask me about it tomorrow
I hate making people feel bad but.... kind of wish he hadn't recommended a movie to me that largely involves race war.....
and it further reminding me how much people just don't care or think about what's happening
#like i get protecting your mental health#im not saying you have to be saturated in information abt palestine. its heavy.#but hey guess whats not great for my mental health rn. watching a movie about race war!!#there's literally a scene of people coming out of a hospital and getting shot#like there are so many parallels#it's also reminding me that people love caring about war when it doesnt negatively affect them & they dont have to be involved#the movie is children of men#not a bad movie#but i wish i wasnt watching it#only 10 mins left thank fuck#UHG#what do i say to him tomorrow#“hey thanks cool movie you know this is happening irl in palestine right? yea the comparisons are pretty triggering!”#“but hey me being triggered is nothing compared to being genocided!! tell me again about how you got McDonald's the other day?”#fml
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martha+henry double flashback in sxf fucking ruined me
#i went back to finish and forgot it left off in the middle aaaaaaaaaaa#went all the way to 95 to see if i could find where i left off then made myself sad#i think 99 was out bc some of it was familiar so i must've not read it all#bc the desmond reveal hit me like a train#goddddd and of course the 100th chapter would be that omg i love this manga so much#tatsuya endo knows what he wants to say and it hits hard especially with war flashbacks like this one#haven't watched the anime since s1 but i hope if they make it to loid's story that they do it justice#it is a comedic manga true and true but it also has impt anti-war themes at its heart#it's chunks of chapters like this that reminds me just how much so#sxf
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guys guys guys guysguysguys im back in my WWII phase and just in time for spring break??????????????????
#All Quiet on the Western Front reminded me of war movies#don't get me wrong that one is majorly depressive and not encouraging at all of any “phase”#as it should be -- very heartbreaking and sobering view of the war but sooo beautiful#but i was reminded I needed to see hacksaw ridge and my roommate loves it so we watched it#i started nerding about m-1s and uniform differences among the armed forces and the mms on mortars and it started coming back#idk anyway i listened to the hbo war soundtracks again and wow blast from 2020 you know what i mean#wondering how many of my hbo war mutuals are around you know#who's alive and kicking around here? you don't have to sound off but tumblr usernames are lookin a bit unfamiliar rn lol#I SPEAK#not art#yeah idk i read some of my abandoned longfic for fun and just... nostalgia man. nostalgia for the summertime of 2020#all that mattered back then was June and EZ company lol
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not me spiraling down a rabbit hole of star wars insanity and pinning 342346873264 different SW meta tumblr posts on pinterest like i'm 14 again
#it's not just the new announcements and stuff#tbh I'm somewhere between ambivalent and apathetic about most of it#and like i'm really sad about that. I *want* to care. but they just haven't given me enough to care about lately tbh?#but I've been watching most of the new episodes of Bad Batch and Mando with my siblings lately and#while Mando is for some reason really declining in quality lately#BB reminds me a lot of the era when I first really loved SW#and now the Ahsoka teaser has me on a Rebels high again#and I'm just thinking about how good this franchise is at its best#even when right now it's sunk kinda low#i miss loving it with all my heart#gotta get back to just loving the things i love and not worrying about the rest#star wars#gurt says stuff#also y'all better be thankful i'm having this breakdown over on pinterest and not actually reblogging all this stuff here sdkjfhskdfh
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Being a digimon xros wars fan is suffering with few fanfictions and a lot of comparing discourse
#i am that suffering fan#all i wanted is taiki fanfic with other legend heroes including tagiru realizing Taiki need therapy#cause he feel like hanging from thin rope that really want to break#that fic kinda craxked chaotic fic with a lot of the senpai worrying about him lmao#but ig not#ngl i need to watch almost all digimon series cause i only watch xros wars cause nostalgia and did marathon for 4th time now#i did watch appmon but.. i forgot most of it...#digimon#digimon xros wars#i have love-hate with hunters arc but i still love the characters#ofc i do this shit aka characters >plot whenever people call a show sucks#lumi rambles#lumi rambles in the tags again#i suddenly talking about digimon and watch it again even though last time i watched it 3 years ago#it's because inazuma eleven another noatalgia anime remind me of xros wars cause childhood nostalgia#im so sorry for being most uneducated on digimon all i know is xros wars-#just to let you know i will block you if you tell a series/fandom hate cause it's feel like im in reddit/twitter again /neg /srs
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 57
Chapter Highlights (most of the chapter is the highlight lol)
An hour before dawn, the keep and two armies beyond it were stirring.
Rowan had barely slept, and instead lain awake beside Aelin, listening to her breathing.
That the rest of them slumbered soundly was testament to their exhaustion, though Lorcan had not found them again. Rowan was willing to bet it was by choice.
It was not fear or anticipation of battle that had kept Rowan up—no, he'd slept well enough during other wars. But rather the fact that his mind would not stop looping him from thought to thought to thought.
He'd seen the numbers camped outside.
Valg, human men loyal to Erawan, some fell beasts, yet nothing like the ilken or the
Wyrdhounds, or even the witches.
Aelin could wipe them away before the sun had fully risen. A few blasts of her power, and that army would be gone.
Yet she had not presented it as an option in their planning last night.
He'd seen the hope shining in the eyes of the people in the keep, the awe of the children as she'd passed. The Fire-Bringer, they'd whispered. Aelin of the Wildfire.
How soon would that awe and hope crumble today when not a spark of that fire was unleashed? How soon would the men's fear turn rank when the Queen of Terrasen did not wipe away Morath's legions?
He hadn't been able to ask her. Had told himself to, had roared at himself to ask these past few weeks, when even their training hadn't summoned an ember.
But he couldn't bring himself to demand why she wouldn't or couldn't use her power, why they had seen or felt nothing of it after those initial few days of freedom. Couldn't ask what Maeve and Cairn had done to possibly make her fear or hate her magic enough that she didn't touch it.
Worry and dread gnawing at him, Rowan slipped from the room, the din of preparations greeting him the moment he entered the hall. A heartbeat later, the door opened behind him, and steps fell into sync with his own, along with a familiar, wicked scent.
"They burned her."
Rowan glanced sidelong at Fenrys. "What?" But Fenrys nodded to a passing healer.
"Cairn—and Maeve, through her orders."
"Why are you telling me this?" Fenrys, blood oath or no, what he'd done for Aelin or no, was not privy to these matters. No, it was between him and his mate, and no one else.
Fenrys threw him a grin that didn't meet his eyes. "You were staring at her half the night. I could see it on your face. You're all thinking it—why doesn't she just burn the enemy to hell?" Rowan aimed for the washing station down the hall. A few soldiers and healers stood along the metal trough, scrubbing their faces to shake the sleep or nerves.
Fenrys said, "He put her in those metal gauntlets. And one time, he heated them over an open brazier. There…" He stumbled for words, and Rowan could barely breathe. "It took the healers two weeks to fix what he did to her hands and wrists. And when she woke up, there was nothing but healed skin. She couldn't tell what had been done and what was a nightmare." Rowan reached for one of the ewers that some of the children refilled every few moments and dumped it over his head. Icy water bit into his skin, drowning out the roaring in his ears.
"Cairn did many things like that." Fenrys took up a ewer himself, and splashed some into his hands before rubbing them over his face.
Rowan's hands shook as he watched the water funnel toward the basin set beneath the trough.
"Your claiming marks, though." Fenrys wiped his face again. "No matter what they did to her, they remained. Longer than any other scar, they stayed."
Yet her neck had been smooth when he'd found her.
Reading that thought, Fenrys said, "The last time they healed her, right before she escaped. That's when they vanished. When Maeve told her that you had gone to Terrasen."
The words hit like a blow. When she had lost hope that he was coming for her. Even the greatest healers in the world hadn't been able to take that from her until then.
Rowan wiped his face on the arm of his jacket. "Why are you telling me this?" he repeated.
Fenrys rose from the trough, drying his face with the same lack of ceremony. "So you can stop wondering what happened. Focus on something else today." The warrior kept pace beside him as they headed for where they'd been told a meager breakfast would be laid out.
"And let her come to you when she's ready."
"She's my mate," Rowan growled. "You think I don't know that?" Fenrys could shove his snout into someone else's business.
Fenrys held up his hands. "You can be brutal, when you want something."
"I'd never force her to tell me anything she wasn't ready to say." It had been their bargain from the start. Part of why he'd fallen in love with her.
He should have known then, during those days in Mistward, when he found himself sharing parts of himself, his history, that he'd never told anyone. When he found himself needing to tell her, in fragments and pieces, yes, but he'd wanted her to know. And Aelin had wanted to hear it. All of it.
They discovered Aelin and Elide already at the buffet table, grim-faced as they plucked up pieces of bread and cheese and dried fruit. No sign of Gavriel or Lorcan.
Rowan came up behind his mate and pressed a kiss to her neck. Right to where his new claiming marks lay.
She hummed, and offered him a bite of the bread she'd already dug into while gathering the rest of her food. He obliged, the bread thick and hearty, then said, "You were asleep when I left a few minutes ago, yet you somehow beat me to the breakfast table." Another kiss to her neck. "Why am I not surprised?"
Elide laughed beside Aelin, piling food onto her own plate. Aelin only elbowed him as he fell into line beside her.
The four of them ate quickly, refilled their waterskins at the fountain in an interior courtyard, and set about finding armor. There was little on the upper levels that was fit for wearing, so they descended into the keep, deeper and deeper, until they came across a locked room.
"Should we, or is it rude?" Aelin mused, peering at the wooden door.
Rowan sent a spear of his wind aiming for the lock and splintered it apart. "Looks like it was already open when we got here," he said mildly.
Aelin gave him a wicked grin, and Fenrys pulled a torch off its bracket in the narrow stone hallway to illuminate the room beyond.
"Well, now we know why the rest of the keep is a piece of shit," Aelin said, surveying the trove. "He's kept all the gold and fun things down here."
Indeed, his mate's idea of fun things was the same as Rowan's: armor and swords, spears and ancient maces.
"He couldn't have distributed this?" Elide frowned at the racks of swords and daggers.
"It's all heirlooms," said Fenrys, approaching one such rack and studying the hilt of a sword. "Ancient, but still good. Really good," he added, pulling a blade from its sheath.
He glanced at Rowan. "This was forged by an Asterion blacksmith."
"From a different age," Rowan mused, marveling at the flawless blade, its impeccable condition. "When Fae were not so feared."
"Are we just going to take it? Without even Chaol's permission?" Elide chewed on her lip.
Aelin snickered. "Let's consider ourselves swords-for-hire. And as such, we have fees that need to be paid." She hefted a round, golden shield, its edges beautifully engraved with a motif of waves. Also Asterion-made, judging by the craftsmanship. Likely for the Lord of Anielle— the Lord of the Silver Lake. "So, we'll take what we're owed for today's battle, and spare His Lordship the task of having to come down here himself."
Gods, he loved her.
Fenrys winked at Elide. "I won't tell if you don't, Lady."
Elide blushed, then waved them onward. "Collect your earnings, then."
Rowan did. He and Fenrys found armor that could fit them—in certain areas. They had to forgo the entire suit, but took pieces to enforce their shoulders, forearms, and shins. Rowan had just finished strapping greaves on his legs when Fenrys said, "We should bring some of this up for Lorcan and Gavriel."
Indeed they should. Rowan eyed other pieces, and began collecting extra daggers and blades, then sections from another suit that might fit Lorcan, Fenrys doing the same for Gavriel.
"You must charge a great deal for your services," Elide muttered. Even while the Lady of Perranth tied a few daggers to her own belt.
"I need some way to pay for my expensive tastes, don't I?" Aelin drawled, weighing a dagger in her hands.
But she hadn't donned any armor yet, and when Rowan gave her an inquiring glance, Aelin jerked her chin toward him. "Head upstairs-track down Lorcan and Gavriel. I'll find you soon."
Her face was unreadable for once. Perhaps she wanted a moment alone before battle. And when Rowan tried to find any words in her eyes, Aelin turned toward the shield she'd claimed. As if contemplating it.
So Rowan and Fenrys headed upstairs, Elide helping to haul their stolen gear. No one stopped them. Not with the sky turning to gray, and soldiers rushing to their positions on the battlements.
Rowan and Fenrys didn't have far to go.
They'd be stationed by the gates at the lower level, where the battering rams might come flying through if Morath got desperate enough.
On the level above them, Chaol sat astride his magnificent black horse, the mare's breath curling from her nostrils. Rowan lifted a hand in greeting, and Chaol saluted back before gazing toward the enemy army.
The khaganate would make the first maneuver, the initial push to get Morath moving.
"I always forget how much I hate this part," Fenrys muttered. "The waiting before it begins."
Rowan grunted his agreement.
Gavriel prowled up to them, Lorcan a dark storm behind him. Rowan wordlessly handed the latter the armor he'd gathered. "Courtesy of the Lord of Anielle." Lorcan gave him a look that said he knew Rowan was full of shit, but began efficiently donning the armor, Gavriel doing the same.
Whether the soldiers around them marked that armor, whether Chaol recognized it, no one said a word.
"Ready now," Chaol called out to the men of his keep.
This would be it—today. Whether that hope remained or fractured.
Already, the awakening sky revealed two siege towers being hauled toward them. Right to the wall. Far closer than Rowan had last noted when flying overhead last night. Morath, it seemed, had not been sleeping, either.
The ruks would remain back with their own army, driving Morath to the keep. To be picked off here, one by one.
"We have minutes until that first tower makes contact with the wall," Gavriel observed. A scan of the battlements, the soldiers atop them, revealed no sign of Aelin. Lorcan indeed muttered, "Someone better tell her to stop primping and get here." Rowan snarled in warning.
"Archers!" Chaol's bellow rang out. Behind them, down the battlements, bows groaned. Fenrys unslung the bow across his back and nocked an arrow into place.
Rowan kept his own bow strapped across his back, the quiver untouched, Gavriel and Lorcan doing the same. No need to waste them on a few soldiers when their aim might be needed with far worse targets later in the day.
But one of them had to be noted felling soldiers. For whatever it would do to rally their spirits. And Fenrys, as fine an archer as Rowan, he'd admit, would do just fine.
Rowan followed the line of Fenrys's arrowhead to where he'd marked one of the bearers of a siege ladder. "Make it impressive," he muttered.
"Mind your own business," Fenrys muttered back, tracking his target with the tip of his arrow as he awaited Chaol's order.
If Aelin didn't arrive within another moment, he'd have to leave the battlements to find her. What in hell had held her up?
Lorcan drew his ancient blade, which Rowan had witnessed felling soldiers in kingdoms far from here, in wars far longer than this one. "They'll head for the gates when that siege tower docks," Lorcan said, glancing from the battlements to the gate a level below, the small bastion of men in front of it. Trees had been felled to prop up the metal doors, but should a solid enough group of enemy soldiers swarm it, they might get those supports and the heavy locks down within minutes. And open the gates to the hordes beyond
"We don't let them get that far," Rowan said, eyeing up the massive tower lumbering closer. Soldiers teemed behind it, waiting to scale its interior. "Chaol brought the tower down the other day without our help. It can happen again."
"Volley!" Chaol's roar echoed off the stones, and arrows sang.
Like a swarm of locusts, they swept upon the soldiers marching below. Fenrys's arrow found its mark with lethal precision.
Within a heartbeat, another was on its tail. A second soldier at the siege ladder fell.
Where the hell was Aelin—
Morath didn't halt. Marched right over the soldiers who fell on their front lines.
The pulse of human fear down the battlements rippled against his skin. The cadre would have to strike fast, and strike well, to shake it away.
The siege tower lumbered closer. One glance from Rowan had him and his friends moving toward the spot it would now undeniably strike upon the battlements. Close enough to the stairs down to the gate. Morath had chosen the location well.
Some of the soldiers they passed were praying, a shuddering push of words into the frigid morning air.
Lorcan said to one of them, "Save your breath for the battle, not the gods."
Rowan shot him a look, but the man, gaping at Lorcan, quieted.
Chaol ordered another volley, and arrows flew, Fenrys firing as he walked. As if he were barely bothered.
Still, the whispered prayers continued down the line, swords shaking along with them.
Up by Chaol, the soldiers held firm, faces solid.
But here, on this level of the battlements ... those faces were pale. Wide-eyed.
"Someone better say something inspiring," Fenrys said through gritted teeth, firing another arrow. "Or these men are going to piss themselves in a minute."
For a minute was all they had left, as the first siege tower inched closer.
"You've got the pretty face," Lorcan retorted. "You'd do a better job of it."
"It's too late for speeches," Rowan cut in before Fenrys could reply. "Better to show them what we can do."
Rowan steadied his breathing, readying his magic to rip through Valg lungs. He'd fell a few with his blades first. To show how easily it could be done, that Morath was desperate and victory would be near. The magic would come later.
The siege tower groaned as it slowed to a stop.
Just as the wall under them shuddered at its impact, Fenrys whispered, "Holy gods."
Not at the bridge that snapped down, soldiers teeming in the dark depths inside.
But at who emerged from the keep archway behind them. What emerged.
Rowan didn't know where to look. At the soldiers pouring out of the siege tower, leaping onto the battlements, or at Aelin.
At the Queen of Terrasen.
She'd found armor below the keep. Beautiful, pale gold armor that gleamed like a summer dawn. Holding back her braided hair, a diadem lay flush against her head. Not a diadem, but a piece of armor. Part of some ancient set for a lady long since buried.
A crown for war, a crown to wear into battle. A crown to lead armies.
There was no fear on her face, no doubt, as Aelin hefted her shield, flipping Goldryn in her hand once before the first of Morath's soldiers was upon her.
A swift, upward strike cleaved the Morath grunt from navel to chin. His black blood sprayed, but she was already moving, flowing like a stream around a rock.
Rowan launched into movement, his blades finding their marks, but still he watched her.
Aelin slammed her shield against an oncoming warrior, Goldryn slicing through another before she plunged the blade into the soldier she'd deflected.
She did it again, and again.
All while heading toward that siege tower. Unhindered. Unleashed.
A call went down the line. The queen has come.
Soldiers waiting their turn whirled toward them. Aelin took on three Valg soldiers and left them dying on the stones.
She planted her line before the gaping maw of that siege tower, right in the path of those teeming hordes. Every moment of the training she'd done on the ship here, on the road, every new blister and callus—all to rebuild herself for this.
The queen has come.
Goldryn unfaltering, her shield an extension of her arm, Aelin glowed like the sun that now broke over the khagan's army as she engaged each soldier that hurtled her way.
Five, ten—she moved and moved and moved, ducking and swiping, shoving and flipping, black blood spraying, her face the portrait of grim, unbreaking will.
"The queen!" the men shouted. "To the queen!"
And as Rowan fought his way closer, as that cry went down the battlements and Anielle men ran to aid her, he realized that Aelin did not need an ounce of flame to inspire men to follow.
That she had been waiting, yanking at the bit, to show them what she, without magic, without any godly power, might do.
He'd never seen such a glorious sight. In every land, every battle, he had never seen anything as glorious as Aelin before the throat of the siege tower, holding the line.
Dawn breaking around them, Rowan loosed a battle cry and tore into Morath.
This first battle would set the tone.
It would set the tone, and send a message.
Not to Morath.
Impress us, Hasar had said.
So she would. So she'd picked the golden armor and her battle-crown. And waited until dawn, until that siege tower slammed into the battlements, before unleashing herself.
To keep the men here from breaking, to wipe away the fear festering in their eyes.
To convince the khaganate royals of what she might do, what she could do. Not a threat, but a reminder.
She was no helpless princess. She had never been.
Goldryn sang with each swipe, her mind as cool and sharp as the blade while she assessed each enemy soldier, their weapons, and took them down accordingly. She dimly knew that Rowan fought at her side, Gavriel and Fenrys battling near her left flank.
But she was keenly aware of the mortal men who leaped into the fray with cries of defiance.
They'd made it this far. They would survive today, too. And the khaganate royals would know it.
Galloping hooves drowned out the battle, and then Chaol was there, sword flashing, driving into the unending tide that rushed from the tower's entrance.
"To Lord Chaol! To the queen!"
How far they both were from Rifthold.
From the assassin and the captain.
Arrows rose from the army beyond the wall, but a wave of icy wind snapped them into splinters before they could find any marks. A dark blur plunged past, and then Lorcan was at the siege tower's mouth, his sword swinging so fast Aelin could barely follow it. He battled his way across the metal bridge of the tower, into the stairwell beyond. Like he'd fight his way down the ramps and onto the battlefield itself. Below, a boom began. Morath had brought in their battering ram.
Aelin smiled grimly. She'd bring them all down. Then Erawan. And then she'd unleash herself upon Maeve.
At the opposite end of the field, the khagan's army pushed, gaining the field step by step.
Not helpless. Not contained. Never again.
Death became a melody in her blood, every movement a dance as the tide of soldiers pouring from the tower slowed. As if Lorcan was indeed forcing his way down the interior.
Those who got past him met her blade, or Rowan's. A flash of gold, and Gavriel had slaughtered his way into the siege tower as well, twin blades a whirlwind.
What Lorcan and the Lion would do upon reaching the bottom, how they'd dislodge the tower, she didn't know. Didn't think about it.
Not from this place of killing and movement, of breath and blood. Of freedom.
Death had been her curse and her gift and her friend for these long, long years. She was happy to greet it again under the golden morning sun.
#Chapter 57#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Aelin Galathynius#Chaol Westfall#First Read along with me NO SPOILERS PLEASE though warning for post & tags up to KoA 57 & more reacts/notes/quotes in tags below#Why didnt it blaze-they burned her-afraid2ask-had Aelin allowed it?Maeve stole&knew-no1had been able to heal past it-how powerful had been#Thought to thought-Hadn’t been able to ask why-She’s afraid too-Noone else-She was out for weeks after-Couldn’t tell her-The marks stayed#Fierce pride-One people-Happy-Breathing-Proof-Chaol didn’t knowWhat he didn’t sayHe knew it was her-Of the wildfire-How could he ask that?#But what had happened?-Training nothing-where is it?Fenrys knew-They didn’t pry-But he saw-Cold Fear hatred bit at him-He said it for her#cause he felt it too-What that’s horrific-No one other then them Knew-that it was that bad-Couldn’t breathe yeah me too-The ice again#That scar held longer than any-And they tried-she tried-Nehemia quick no more cowards-She’d given up and Fenrys knew it Aelin had broken-#before itShe knew they would break herThat’s what that run wasNot one of saving but one of leaving-I won’t go-When she’s lost hope#focus on something else stop wondering-He’ll say it so she doesn’t have to-Let her come when she’s ready-thanks Fenrys-His attitude is fair#but also he knows-Part of why he’d loved her-Should’ve known when she won’t talk it’s something that brutal-Needing wanting her to know#&hear-A mark-She fed him ACOTAR mate style-Laughed4once-the4-Their team-mischief&lovely-every door makes me miss Mort#THE ARMOR AND SWORDS-He reminds-He defends-She’s got a plan-Gods he loved her-my lady-if only gods for hire-the waves of it#lol sorry Lorcy they didn’t fit the armor-what’s her plan?-they know but they know enough to let her do her thing-unreadable-that shield#Aelin what’s the plan babe?-golden-she knows how to make an enterance-It’ll be done shortly so they listened to a queen knowing she’s hidin#Power of a good speech lol-Whether hope remained or fractured-Primping-Break in plan-NO THE TOWERS#Aelin&The/her cadre Breath for battle not gods Something inspiring-You’ve got a pretty face lol-the power of their names-Holygodsliterally#The queen has come-A crown-No fear-Aelin Anielle armor no braid nothing burning-3 months of power storing-she knew what show they needed#love her or hate her the woman’s got style- Rowan babe this is war you can’t just ogle your wife lol-Still he watched her-she is the sun#The queen has come-For this-She was ready-To the queen-Grim unbreaking will-What she without magic could do-Nothing like her#So she would show them-To the people+A reminder;She has never been a helpless princessno lost queenno before anything#the one you want now The Queen of Assassins. The Prince Rowan at her side.Her cadre around her.They’d survive to tell the tale#&the people know it.Hope.How far from the assassin and the captain we’ve come.the right hand man.What about Elide?Her plan1by1#Defiant not helpless dare I say she felt it too-Never againDeath her melody the one thing they all sharedHer never ending pursuit of Freedo#death her first friend the sun her first gift the question&answerAelins not using her power shes saving it for Maeve&gives that up for them
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ruining people's lives with this brings me so much joy il yall <3
marylily but it's mary, watching lily from afar and wondering why she feels something she's never felt before.
mary clinging to Sirius like a lifeline even though she knows that she can never love him and he can never love her, because what else can she do?
Mary, kissing lily in a game of truth or dare and realising just how much she's always wanted to do that.
Mary and lily, after the party, alone in the corridor and kissing like they'll never stop, kissing so many times afterwards, even though mary has sirius and she knows that he should be enough.
mary, holding back tears as lily tells her they should stop- it's not right to lie to sirius and their friends, neither girl realising the other feels the same way, each believing the other was only with them as an experiment.
mary, loving lily, never stopping loving her even as lily falls out of love and tells mary about james- james who she likes, even though she's always hated him so much.
mary, always so supportive, because she'd do anything for lily, cheering her on even as her heart rips to shreds, watching she and james kiss like the girls never could- like sirius and remus will never be able to- so so jealous and angry but never angry at lily, because how could she ever be?
mary, barely remembering anything from before the fighting and the death, crying when she hears the news or her friends death, safe only in the knowledge that lily, her lily is still safe, even though they barely speak anymore, and all she has left of her are faded photographs and memories of soft lips and green eyes and kindness.
mary, hiding away- hating herself more and more each day for leaving the only people she ever loved behind, hating james and marlene and even sirius for fighting still, but never, ever hating lily.
mary, numb, so numb, crying and laughing and screaming when she hears the news. she can't even hate him- the man she loved like a brother, the man who made her feel like she wasn't alone, the man who turned out to be just like everything he tried to run from- because all she feels is empty, everything that held her to this earth gone in a flash of green. although, maybe not everything.
mary, running like her life depends on it, because it does really, scooping up the baby in her arms and refusing to look at the woman lying beside him, scared of how her love would look now that she can no longer smile, leaving the house and the man who claimed to love lily, but never did, not like mary could, and the man who did love her, but couldn't save her in the end.
mary, frantic as she runs, sobbing and broken into the arms of a man who watched as everyone she ever loved died, needing to cry out and hit but never doing so, because she couldn't spoil the baby like that, not when he was lily's.
mary, never again thinking of red hair and the smell of apple blossom, never again thinking of stars and records and magic, never again remembering the boy who lived, alive for his mother- the only one mary ever truly loved, never again really living, as the man muttered a spell and everything was forgotten as though it never meant a thing.
mary, who survived, unlike the rest, but who never truly breathed again, because how could she live without lily, without her warmth and light and beauty, without her memories.
mary, who lived longer than the rest, but died that night on halloween, as she was always meant to from the moment she fell in love.
#i thought this was just going to remind me of how miserable it is to be in love with your best friend but watching her fall in love with a#but it got even worse#so now it’s not only war flashbacks to that heartbreak but also atyd#<- prev tags
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