#and of course we can all stagnate but MAN there is this person i keep meeting that says things like “i need to focus on myself”

[wolf-twenty-one]

are you being challenged? are you trying new things and getting new experiences? are you different from who you were 5 years ago? are you compromising? are you seeing things from another perspective regularly? are you getting better?

are you stagnating? are you prioritising comfort? are surrounding yourself with people and places that let you stay in place? have you compromised recently? are you aware that yours is not the only way?

[lowkeyerror]

The Family Business Ch.13

WandaNat x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Ch. Notes: short

Summary: Fisk gains a new unexpected ally that deeply affects a member of the family.

An: Short filler Ch. but with a warning. Sorry for the mistakes, just wanted to get something out for yall. Also fear not, we will be getting the very essential "date" chapter soon, but first some world building yknow.

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

With the way life had been treating you lately, the ups and downs, you felt as though this should be harder. You felt like there was a funk or depression that should be settling into your mind, but there wasn’t. There should’ve been anxiety building up, but all you felt was calm.

After the beating you suffered you thought you’d be more on edge. However as your body healed itself, you found yourself at ease. There was something smug about your survival. Perhaps it had to do with the blossoming relationship that you had been reveling in.

Throughout the years you had prided yourself on changing and morphing into someone with a tough exterior and an even stronger interior. While you never regretted becoming that way, you admit that in it you lost some of your personality.

You were so much more than a victim of the abuse you had suffered at the hands of your mother. As you grew, after separating yourself from her you were set on not ever being a victim again that you hid everything that you thought made you vulnerable.

Your likes and leisurely activities all of sudden seemed like weak points. The only one who was able to make you let your guard down was Pietro.

Now however, having Wanda and Natasha by your side, you find yourself on a path of rediscovery. You feel like you’re coming into yourself again. The women are the perfect models of work life balance and you think it’s everything you’ve been missing.

The can go into the office work diligently and complete their jobs, but also clock out and relax. The enjoy themselves and they enjoy you.

Wanda personally loves seeing you open up a bit more, after seeing how much of yourself you pushed down. Natasha finds herself collecting bits and pieces of information about you that she plans to commit to memory.

In the very back of your mind you think about how quiet the streets have been. You expected Fisk to brag about your beating just like he did with Dragos. However there had been no commotion, and the intel that you were getting didn’t indicate any attacks soon.

It was eerie and you would've dwelled on it in the past, but Natasha and Wanda reassured you that everything was under control. Natasha constantly let you go over her team strategies to show you she was utilizing the soldiers given to her.

They tried to keep you out of the office for your recovery, but you just found yourself working from home until your ankle was healed. As soon as you were able, you stepped back into the office.

While you had made nearly a full recovery, you could not say the same for Dragos. It pained you hear that doctors have reported a stagnation in his progress. Flora relied that certain doctors were starting to suggest pulling the plug as a feasible option. The entire family was adamant to oppose any talk of such actions.

“Baby?”

Your eyes leave your compute to see Wanda and Natasha entering your office.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Natasha speaks, “We were wondering if you wanted to grab dinner tonight?”

You nod, “For sure.”

Wanda clarifies a bit, “Like a date, Y/n.”

Your eyes widen a bit, but you nod excitedly at the prospect, “Even better, of course.

“We’ll go home, get ready and go from there?” Nat suggests.

“Can’t wait,” a small smile plays on your lips.

Everything about this has felt casual and you love that, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t want to have the typical romantic experiences. This would amongst the first few dates you three had gone on.

Pietro storms into the office breaking up the relaxed atmosphere they had been sitting in. The man looks like he is complete emotional distress.

“I need to talk to Y/n.”

His sister wants to question him, but with one shake of your head she pulls her wife out of the office.

“What’s wrong, Piet?”

He doesn’t hold it together much longer as he signals he needs a hug. You stand up quickly and wrap your arms around him. You feel his tears hit his shoulder and admittedly, your worry multiplies.

“Monica,” he says in his broken tone.

You rub his back soothingly, “What about her?”

He pulls away, “ Two months we lasted, Y/n. I had asked her to be official she said yes, but she’s ended things with me.”

“Oh Piet.”

He shakes his head, “It’s worse than that. She indebted to Fisk, Y/n. She owes him money and favors, she never told me because he’s never come to collect. But now, he’s cashing in.”

You frown deeply, “So she’s protecting you.”

“I need to be protecting her,” he grits his teeth.

You feel for your friend, you don’t believe you have the right words to bring him comfort, “ But you don’t know how.”

Pietro has a new fire in his eyes, “With a bullet in his skull. He’s tried to take everything from me. Papa, you, and now the love of my life.”

You knew the man could be hotheaded at times, and for once you knew he had every right to be. Yet, you couldn’t justify him doing something irrational.

“When the time comes, he will be dealt with,” you say.

Pietro shakes his head, “Nothings happened since your attack, everything is settling. This war will drag on and on if we let it."

“We can’t tear apart the city for no reason, Piet. It’s a bad look from us,” you try to reason with him.

“I know that, but it’s not what I want to hear.”

He slumps down on your office couch with his head in his hands. You sit next to him and rub his shoulder.

“How about we do something tonight, like old times? Something so that we can feel normal for once,” you suggest.

“I can’t even text her because what if she becomes a pawn in this scheme,” he sighs.

“ We’re hanging out tonight. To take your mind off of this, even if it’s only for a moment,” you speak sincerely to him.

He nods slowly in agreement, “Fine, but only because I don’t want to be alone and maybe I’ve missed you. Wanda too, I miss when timed were simpler.”

You get a little excited, “Tonight, me, you, Wanda, Natasha we can do something together. It’ll be reminiscent of old times.”

Pietro agrees and you let him stay in the office as you work. You texted Wanda and Natasha filling them on the details. They were understanding about having to cancel your plans. Natasha also took note of Monica as one of Fisk’s new allies.

The three of you brainstorm to come up with some plans to help your friend for the time being. The night still had promise and none of you wanted to waste it.

Unfortunately for you all, the air was about become ten times more suffocating and no one would see it coming.

Fisk knew you all would become complacent sooner or later, drop you guards prematurely. He was watching unfold and getting ready to strike again, however this time, he planned for the kill shot.

Taglist: @natashaswife4125 @autorasexy @alexawynters @blkmxrvel @toouncreativeforausername @likemick @sgm616 @bstvst @dorabledewdroop @sapphic-simp4015 @natty-taffy @justarandomreaderxoxo @mmmmokdok @tarathia @bgwlsmahf25 @lezzylover @og-kxsh-420 @vanessashands @untoldreader @sxlfishbrokenheart @marvelgirlx @elle161989

[smakonca]

Hi, i hope you be fine and having a good day.

I wanted ask You something, i like your Nightmare version and how You make the relationship between him and Killer. And i wanted know how would react with or how would be his relation with the Killer version from @signanothername .

And your art style looks great!. ❤️

Thank you very much!

Before I answer this, I need to describe my version of Nightmare more thoroughly.

I have touched on that subject in this post, but it was mainly about my interpretation of Dreamtale as a whole.

My Nightmare is a manipulator, a devil in sweet disguise. He knows how to persuade people in order to get what he wants. Instead of direct action he relies on strategy and deceit. He also does not have anger issues as his canon version. He controls himself, allowing to show only a glimpse of his true feelings. He won’t show his anger, sadness, envy, despair, happiness, vulnerability to you if he doesn’t trust you.

The fandom I think is missing out on the fact that he is 500 years old. Yes, none of us could say how exactly a long living person like him would act. But I doubt all Nightmare was doing for such a long time of living was sitting in his castle or randomly attacking Aus even after Dream got out of stone.

I am sure the Multiverse is full of creatures who are much more powerful than Dream and can break Nightmare in half. He just had to be careful and had to learn to be more rational.

I also believe he had some sort of character growth during this time. People can turn into complete strangers in just a couple of years. Imagine living for eons. You would change your values, worldview, philosophy, everything multiple times. Nightmare have witnessed and experienced many things. He embraced the power and curse of an endless life.

Of course at the beginning of his new life (that is after the apple incident) he conquered/destroyed worlds, because at that time he didn't know how to cope with the loss of his brother, nor how to control his new powers.

But with years to come, Nightmare started to become more calm, more calculating and provident. He formed a library, began to study numerous Aus, formed alliances, including Ink and Error, in order to keep track of positive and negative worlds.

Why attack positive worlds and destroy the balance in Multiverse if you can take the negative worlds under your wing, find Aus which don't have a particular positive/negative side and destroy them from within? With civil wars or a cruel ruler that actually is loyal to you, for example. After all, how would anyone know Nightmare was the one to pull the strings if he didn't attack the Au directly? Especially it is hard to figure this out if Au has resets and is heavily dependent on the decisions of the player.

Why try to conquer positive worlds if you can nurture the ones that are doomed from the start? Why chase the unattainable goal of becoming the god of Multiverse if you can safely provide yourself with a stockpile of negative energy and thrive on it?

Nightmare is actually pretty much scared of death, so he uses all his knowledge to provide a safe future for himself.

He is visionary, but with that comes his main weakness. He stagnates. He is afraid of sudden changes that break his plans and destroy the usual order. That's why he doesn't bother learning new things if he thinks they are useless to him. You know, like the grumpy old man who complains about the youth and can’t learn how to use a cellphone. He can't cook, for example, because he doesn’t need normal mortal food. And sometimes he is oblivious to normal things. He holds a great knowledge and wisdom, but lacks intuition and ability to adapt.

I would say with years softened a little. You know, how people use to soften with age? That's exactly what happened. Nightmare won't admit it out loud, but he hates loneliness. He always hated it, even we he was little. He hates being left alone with himself. His thoughts, his hatred towards himself and the whole world. Also my version is much more sympathetic because he can understand what the other person is feeling due to his powers. He can relate to other's problems and fears sometimes. Doesn't mean he would help to get rid of them though.

That's why in my version, Nightmare got Killer as his subordinate partly because he felt a bit of sympathy for him. He knows what it feels like to be left alone. Alone after a massacre you've just committed.

I’m sure Multiverse was full of much more useful, more naive, more powerful puppets for him, yet Nightmare chose the one he could actually relate to. Because, let's be honest, Killer is a total menace as a subordinate. His behavior changes with stages and Nightmare can't properly control him, he talks back sometimes, refusing to obey. He asks too many questions and is too smart for a perfect murder machine.

So, yes. My Nightmare has much more personal reasons to take Killer with himself. Their relationship developed with years. At first it was just a game to Nightmare of how he could corrupt Killer. It wasn't simply: "I would beat the shit out of you and call you useless", but more "I will make you trust me and fall for my lies".

But Killer turned out to be a much more complicated person, who Nightmare heavily underestimated. Somehow he managed to see through Nightmare's masks and find his weak sides. And then he went like "I see what you're plan is, I'll play along to betray you later"

But... Both their plans broke when they actually developed a relationship beyond just the boss/his subordinate. Killer being as equally smart as Nightmare, if not smarter, made him realize many things, opened new sights for the world Nightmare got so fed up with. Their worldviews are extremely different, but somehow they managed to find something to bond over. And Nightmare allowed himself to be tamed by that. Even if he knows how dangerous it is to get attached to someone.

They both create a very interesting dynamic, where Nightmare craves respect and validation and Killer being used to receive orders from the player, can't help but please Nightmare's ego. Doesn't stop him from being brutally honest and strong-willed from time to time. Being a person who wears masks all the time, Killer notices Nightmare's disguise almost immediately and wants to crack them open to see what they are hiding.

Sorry, if it sounds like a fairytale, but I am a sucker for happy endings, when despite all the suffering, characters manage to find peace with themselves.

That is Nightmare's relationship with how I view Killer. He wanders somewhere between his canon and fanon version. You know, being a loud annoying ass, but actually hiding the pain inside. He does that mainly to entertain himself or to get any kind of reaction from people around him to escape the loneliness and emptiness in his soul. He may act impulsive, but in the end it's his slyness and adaptivity that win the game in the long run.

I love to explore Nightmare’s and Killer’s relationship in various types of ways but I never like to depict abuse between them. I know, it's how they should behave themselves according to their canon versions, but I just can’t bring myself to draw it. The entire thing just makes me super uncomfortable and I don’t receive pleasure from drawing it (which is my main goal when I doodle, mind you). That doesn't mean their relationship is entirely healthy. Hell, it's far from that. And yet I would rather show their emotional insecurities and cruelty in a different way.

Now to your main question.

@signanothername version of Killer(the closest one to the canon I've seen so far) is extremely interesting and always gets me inspired to create more art. And I eat up every one of her long posts.

In terms of relationship with her Killer, I think my Nightmare would find him extremely intriguing, after all, he loves to outsmart witty people, it feeds his insatiable ego.

My Nightmare values cunning people who can crawl under your bones and find every weakness you possess. It's what he does himself. So he would maybe even respect Anó’s Killer in his own way.

He definitely would try to persuade Killer to form a sort of partnership, tempting him with a sweet offer of finding peace with his emotions. But wouldn't take him as his subordinate even if he agreed, at least not forever. Nightmare doesn't like when someone questions his authority and Killer could be a potential threat to expose his weaknesses and wreck his plans.

That is, if Nightmare already knew what kind of fella Ano’s Killer is. If he didn't and actually managed to persuade Killer, he would have eventually got rid of him because he would be a menace to his status. Or maybe he would have genuinely tried to help, but only if they build up the bridge of trust, which I doubt would even happen in the first place. And besides, as I mentioned earlier, Nightmare values things in terms of how they are useful to him, so I don't think he would see any use in helping Killer if he didn't get something in return. Though their whole dynamic really depends in the perspective and how much time they have spent together.

And also I don't think my Nightmare would try to abduct Killer as he did in canon, as far as I remember. It ruins their relationship for Nightmare from the start, and closes the potential ways for him to manipulate and get Killer to trust him. Trust is an important thing when it comes to subordination and obedience and Nightmare wouldn't destroy it for as long as possible. Or as long as he is entertained enough.

So I don’t think my Nightmare being a cunning brat would treat Killer as a slave or a pet. At least not directly. A silly mortal or a useful tool? Very likely. But beating the shit out of him and then expecting him to negotiate? I doubt that. It won’t make Killer more obedient and in the end will only cut off the branch Nightmare’s sitting on. (Haha get it?)

Even though Nightmare may be oblivious to general relationships between people (for example he still refuses to accept that people can be kind and merciful to you just because they can), still, he understands the very basics. If he didn't, he wouldn't have become a good deceiver and would not have survived for centuries.

P. S. I apologize for any mistakes. This was a long post to write hzhzz.

[uboat53]

Well, as expected, Trump can't keep his focus on policy attacks against the Harris-Walz ticket and keeps wandering off into racist/sexist/bizarre personal attacks. Many say that this is a Trump problem, but I think it's a lot bigger than him in a way that's going to keep hurting Republicans long after he's gone. LONG RANT (TM) time?

INTRODUCTION

I'm sure you've noticed the Very Serious (TM) Republicans like Lindsay Graham and Marco Rubio and Very Serious (TM) conservative media outlets like the Wall Street Journal that keep talking about how Donald Trump would absolutely destroy Kamala Harris in November if only he could keep focused on policy instead of pursuing personal attacks and angry vendettas. Of course, all of them are missing the main reason Trump isn't talking about policy; Republican policy is overwhelmingly unpopular.

Look, I don't give Trump a lot of credit. I don't think he's very intelligent or insightful and I doubt his ability to focus on anything but his own personal vendettas for more than a few minutes, but the man knows popular. You can see him at work at his rallies, he'll start spitballing on something and play with it back and forth with the crowd until he finds something that resonates, it's what he does.

If Trump isn't running on policy, there's a good reason for it. Of course, we should look at specifics to illustrate the issue.

ECONOMICS

To put it bluntly, the Republicans don't have much of an economic policy anymore. Maybe the used to, but that's all gone. There are only two policies they have left, two things you can guarantee will happen under any Republican administration with a minimally compliant Congress: (1) they'll cut taxes for rich people and corporations and (2) they'll try to undo regulations.

That's it, that's all they've got. Now go around and ask people if they think cutting taxes for rich people and corporations is a good idea. I'll bet you don't get many positive responses and you'll get more than few profanities. Even cutting regulations doesn't do so well when you actually get specific about which regulations. People dislike the idea of regulations in general, but they like those regulations that keep the air and water clean.

Now, there was a point where Republican policy had some grounding. Back in the 70s when the Laffer Curve was first proposed, no one knew where the point at the top of the curve was.

(For those who are unaware, the Laffer Curve is the idea that there is some optimal tax rate. Taxing below that rate raises less money for the government, but taxing above that rate also raises less money because it overtaxes the economy. You should look it up, it's a very interesting concept.)

Nowadays, of course, we've got 40+ years of research on it and we have a pretty good idea that the optimum top marginal tax rate is about 70%. In other words, there is, at current tax rates, no way to grow the economy by cutting taxes, but Republicans keep doing it anyways. It's like a zombie policy that's immune to evidence and reason and just keeps on going from sheer inertia.

Of course, that's just the evidence about the economy as a whole. We also know that, starting in the 1980s with a wave of tax cuts and deregulation, worker pay stopped increasing with productivity. In fact, we've seen decades of stagnating wages and increasing income inequality under Republican economic policy to the point where you can actually look at graphs of economic data and point to where Ronald Reagan was elected based on where things started getting bad for average people.

Yet, still, Republicans hold to this economic policy. Despite all of the evidence and the very real consequences it has had for our economy, Republicans cling to the economic policy of Reagan circa 1980 with no interest in creating something new that they could hang their hats on. It really does speak to the state of ideas in the party.

FOREIGN POLICY

And foreign policy? Yeah, Trump can't talk about that either. Dictators like Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin aren't very popular and NATO and democratic countries are. Heck, support for Ukraine has fallen since its peak, but it's still more popular than Trump himself.

Maybe there's a case to be made that the views of Cold War-style Republicans like Rubio and Graham who are pro-NATO, pro-Ukraine, and anti-Russia, are popular, but that's not Trump's policy. His foreign policy runs pretty hard against what most Americans think our foreign policy should be.

The one thing in his foreign policy that has even a little bit of positive approval is his plan for tariffs, but even that would fall apart in the details. Most people who support it do so with the vague idea that it would protect US jobs, but how many of them would still support it if they knew how likely it is to turbo-charge inflation? Yeah, I'm pretty sure it'd sink like a lead balloon if he talked about it enough that it actually started getting coverage.

DOMESTIC POLICY

Okay, so there's economic policy, there's foreign policy, and there's domestic policy which basically comes down to "everything else". I'm going to take his domestic policy ideas from Agenda 47, Trump's official campaign site, instead of Project 2025 because Trump is pretending not to know anything about the latter (despite cheerleading it behind the scenes for years), but they're really not all that different.

Trump wants to "certify teachers by their patriotism", abolish teacher tenure, cut funding to any school that doesn't teach subjects the way he wants them to, re-introduce prayer in schools, and close the Department of Education. He wants to establish a commission stocked with conspiracy theorists to investigate autism, he's both approved of and opposed plans to negotiate drug prices, and he's planning to deport tens of millions of undocumented immigrants. He wants to dramatically expand the death penalty, end any government involvement in civil rights, and try to use federal health care money to prevent people from getting transgender surgery even if they pay for it themselves.

None of these things are popular and all of them would be even less so if he actually went around promoting them or worse, tried to actually follow through on them. And Project 2025, which he has disavowed even while maintaining close ties with those who wrote it, is even worse. If you think targeting transgender people polls badly, wait until they come for abortion, birth control, IVF, and pornography.

MESSAGING

You can see all of that in the way that people who only live in a conservative world try to attack liberals. The Wall Street Journal, for example, recently tried to attack Gov. Walz, now Kamala Harris' VP pick, for creating a state system of family and medical leave, providing free college for kids under a certain income threshold, making it easier to vote, and providing school lunches.

These only sound like bad things if you live in a bubble of conservative media that separates you from the real world. Real people love feeding hungry children and letting caretakers take time off to care for loved ones!

POPULARITY

We need to pause for a moment here and address one thing. You see, Trump and Republican's economic policies are unpopular, yet more Americans say they trust Trump to keep the economy strong than trust Harris. How can that be?

Well, there's an old saying (and I'm paraphrasing here) that people are Republicans in theory, Democrats in practice. In other words, they like the vibe of Republicans and they like the sound bites but, once you actually start to talk about the details of any given policy, they don't like Republican ideas at all.

I'm pretty sure that's what's going on here and it's one more big reason Trump doesn't want to talk policy.

CONCLUSION

Look, I get the instinct from Republicans that they'd like their presidential candidate to be more serious, but if they ever want that to happen they're going to have to grapple with the fact that the policies they want are not anything that would ever win an election. Trump is running on personal attacks and vendettas because he knows that these are all way more popular than the actual policies that he and Republicans actually want to put in place if they were to win and the only way to keep any sort of advantage on any policy is to keep it vague.

Until that changes, don't expect any Republican candidate to make a serious policy based argument for their election, even after the age of Trump.

[sophieinwonderland]

i know the supervillain bit (when you explained Vira) is a joke but you would make an awesome supervillain i think. you would be good at it. well. you would be evil at it i should say. 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 (lighthearted) -orv & tom

Thanks! LOL!

You know, I've talked about this before, but I've been thinking about this again since my host has been playing Spider-Man lately... And that's the tendency for a villain to be the person taking initiative to change the world.

Sure, plenty of villains are just naturally bad. But there are also many who just end up victims of their own ambitions.

The Lizard in Spider-Man media is usually just a disabled scientist looking for a way to regrow limbs. In Spider-Man 2, Doctor Octopus is just a guy who tries to make renewable clean energy. Both characters want to make the world a better place. And both really end up victims of the writing, punished for doing what other people aren't brave enough to even try.

I'm not saying they don't go too far. Of course they do. That's what makes them villains.

But it bothers me how often the only representation of ambitious people who want to change the world is in the form of a villain.

Meanwhile, Peter Parker won't even sell his web fluid. Think about how many deaths by cops could be prevented if you replaced their lethal bullets with a web gun? Think of how useful it could be for rescuers to have instant ropes they can shoot from a small handheld device.

But Peter just keeps it for himself so he can use it to beat up criminals.

It just feels like a lot of Spider-Man's villains were originally good people who tried and failed to change the world for the better, and ended up punished by the narrative for their failure, while Peter Parker is someone who never tried at all. As a hero, he usually just tries to maintain a status quo in the world.

Superheroes all just tend to think too small for my liking. They're too reactive with their world-saving, where the villains are proactive.

To be fair, Iron Man was supposedly working on using his Arc Reactors to make cheap renewable energy too. We just never see the fruits of that labor. It's an off-hand thing mentioned about how Stark Tower would be the first to use it. But where is this technology 10 years later? Surely, every car and plane coming off the assembly line in the MCU should be powered by Arc Reactor tech, right?

They can't be that expensive to produce. Tony made one in a cave with a box of scraps.

All in all, I guess what it comes down to is that comics are a world where status quo is God. And in that world, the only people who can try to change the status quo are villains, because they're destined to fail. And on the rare occasion lip service is paid to heroes trying to change the status quo, it's ultimately forgotten about because they're not allowed to do that.

And the message it sends to youths is to keep your sights low and don't rock the boat. That a "hero" is someone who try to keep things the way they are, and anyone with ambition who wants to change world is a villain.

Through that lens, I guess I'd rather be the supervillain. Better to be bold and ambitious, and fail, than to accept stagnation and uphold a flawed status quo.

[adeyc]

Ciel (O!Ciel) quotes

No one asked me, but I don't care. I got back into my obsession with Black Butler so I decided to rate some quotes (spoiler: many of them are my favorites even if I sometimes I don’t say so, this show/manga is brilliant).

1. "After all, justice in this world is just a bunch of principles, made by those with power to suit themselves."

-12/10

-kinda true, unfortunately, even nowadays

-shows how Ciel sees the whole system, especially the legal one and his vision of society

-reminds us of the huge differences between people

- great, one of my favorite quotes

2. "I have long forgotten how to laugh as if I were having fun."

-8.5/10

-so sad

- shows the distress and sadness he went through and is still going through and how much what he went through affected him

-feel sorry for him (he would probably beat me if he knew that, but it doesn't matter lol)

3. "So what? You're another person, so of course you look different. What do you need to be ashamed for? Besides, I'm free to be with whoever I want. No one has the right to say anything about it."

- 9/10

- we love someone who doesn't discriminate

- he hates everyone equally <3

- I think it is one of the few times when he encourages someone and I love it

- I like that he knows he can do whatever he wants

4. "If you stick to a "lie", it'll eventually become the "truth.""

- 9/10

- it shows his character and the more human side, in the sense that every man lies and he is not above that

- shows how gullible some people can be

5. "I was born to end up alone."

-9.5/10

- so sad yet so true

-he accepts his fate

6. "Moping around with sadness and sorrow... what will come of it? Even dead people can do that. However, I'll live and stand on my own two legs. If we are going to die one day, wouldn't t it be better to have no regrets?"

-10/10

- a powerful quote that shows his strength of character and his desire to achieve revenge

-tough love kinda deal

- it can be seen that it is said by someone with determination and who has been through a lot

7. "Unfortunately, in reality there is no situation where one can win merely by following the rules. There will be knights that break the rules, and even chess pieces that betray him."

-9.5/10

- once again a spoken truth

- shows how aware he is of the world around him

8. "Only two kinds of people exist in this world, those who steal and those who are stolen from. So then, today, I just stole your future. That's all."

-100/10

-one of my favorites

-unfortunately, he knows what it's like to be in both positions

-tragic

9. "Pain tends to heal as time passes, but personally, I don't want time to heal my wounds. You may think you've escaped the pain and forgotten it, but that's nothing more than stagnation. You can't move forward without the pain."

-9/10

- shows the pain he still carries and that, no matter how hard he tries, the past will always follow him

- the last sentence, in particular, is devastating. Only pain keeps him alive and helps him move forward

10. "I am not so noble that I would stake my life for someone else. Nor am I so forgiving that I would sit by and allow someone to trample me. I am selfish... and self righteous human being! That's why! I... to clear my own shame... I used your power. Not for anyone else! But for myself!"

-10/10

-we love a self-aware king

- something that many of us would not recognize

11. "We mock their desperate wishes, and trample them like insects! Cowardly, base - we're more demonic than demons are! I'm just like them. I'm full of the same ugliness they were. This is how humans it's how we are, Sebastian!"

-10/10

- downright heartbreaking

- the situation in which he said it makes it even more tragic

12. "Words are cheap. There's no guarantee she won't tell anyone. Humans lie without a second thought. Including me, of course."

-8.95/10

- shows how well he knows human nature

- we love him for it tho

13. "To hate something that you used to love is such a painful feeling."

-10/10

- shows the tragedy of the character

- relatable

14. "Is there truly any human who is not arrogant?"

-20/10

- simple and yet sophisticated and true

-once again self aware king

- something that many will not admit

15. "I'm afraid when something is truly lost, one can never get it back again."

-1000/10

- one of my favs

- so sad considering that he lost everything and knows that he will never get it back

- and yet he has the proud strength to go forward regardless of the situation and not look back

- out of loss our Earl was born

I'm stopping here because if I keep going I'll be here for hours lol. I got this off my chest now....for a moment at least. Anyway, Black Butler is my number 1 and will always occupy a special place in my heart.

Bye!

[spockandawe]

Well, this is interesting! So, in that post yesterday, there was one line that really baffled me, a thing about people brushing off a character as an asshole “because he shows literally zero growth.” I kind of set that aside because it was such a weird non-sequitur, and guessed that it was just someone’s sentences not quite keeping up with their train of thought, which has happened to me many times. Apparently I was wrong! I already spent long enough on that one post, I’m tired of talking about that, but this is new and interesting. 

Okay. I kind of wanted to see if I could talk about this purely in terms of abstracts and not characters, but I don’t think it’ll work. It would be frustrating to write and confusing to read. It’s about Jiang Cheng. Right up front: This isn’t about whether or not he’s an abuser. Frankly, I don’t think it’s relevant. This also isn’t about telling people they should like him. I don't care whether anyone else likes him or not. But I do like him, and I am always fascinated by dissecting the reasons that people disagree with me. And the process of Telling Stories is my oldest hyperfixation I remember, which will become relevant in a minute.

I thought I had a good grasp on this one, you know? Jiang Cheng makes it pretty obvious why people would dislike Jiang Cheng. But then the posts I keep stumbling over were making weird points, culminating in that “literally zero growth” line.

So! What happened is that someone wrote up a post about how Jiang Cheng’s character arc isn’t an arc, it’s stagnation. It’s a pretty interesting read, and I broadly agree with the larger point! The points where I would quibble are like... the idea that it’s absolute stagnation, as opposed to very subtle shifts that still make a material difference. But still, cool! The post was also offered up as a reason why OP was uninterested in writing any more Jiang Cheng meta, which I totally get. I’m not tired of him yet, but I definitely understand why someone who isn’t a fan of his would get tired about writing about a character with a very static arc. Okay!

Now, internet forensics are hard. I desperately wish I had more information about this evolution, because I find this stuff fascinating, but I have no good way to find things said in untagged posts, reblogs, or private/external venues. But as far as I can tell, that “literally zero growth” wasn’t just a slip of the tongue, it’s become fashionable for people to say that Jiang Cheng is an abusive asshole (that it’s fucked up to like) because he doesn’t have a character arc.

Asshole? Yes. Abusive? This post still isn’t about that. This is about it being fucked up to like this character because he did bad things and had a static character arc.

At first, that point of view was still deeply confusing to me. But I think I figured out the idea at the core of it, and now I’m only baffled. I’m not super interested in confirming this directly, because the people making the most noise about this have not inspired confidence in their ability to hold a civil conversation and I’m a socially anxious binch, but I think the idea is: ‘This character did Bad Things, and then did not improve himself.’

Which is alarmingly adjacent to that old favorite standard of ‘This piece of fiction is glorifying Bad Thing.’ I haven’t seen anyone accusing mxtx of something something jiang cheng, only the people who read/watched/heard the story and became invested in the Jiang Cheng character, but things kind of add up, you know?

Like I said, I don’t want to arbitrate anyone’s right to like/dislike Jiang Cheng. That’s such a fucking waste of time. But this is fascinating to me, because it’s like..... so obviously new and sudden, with such a clear originating point. I can’t speak to the Chinese fans, obviously, but exiledrebels started translating in... what, 2017? And only now, in 2021, do people start putting forth Jiang Cheng’s flat character arc as a “reason” that he’s bad? I’m not going to argue if he pings you in the abuse place, I’m not a dick. I’m not going to argue if you just dislike his vibes. I’m just over here on my blog and in the tag enjoying myself, feel free to detour around me. But oh my god, it’s so silly to try to tell other people that they shouldn’t like him because he has a static character arc.

I want to talk about stories. I don’t know how much I’ll be able to say, because it’s impossible to make broad, sweeping statements, because there are stories about change, there are stories about lack of change, there are all kinds of media that can be used to tell stories, and standards for how stories are told and what they emphasize vary across cultures and over time. But I think that what I can say is that telling a story requires... compromise. It requires streamlining. Trying to capture all the detail of life would slow down most stories to an unbearable degree. Consider organically telling someone ‘I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich’ versus the computer science exercise of having students describe, step by step, how to make one (spread peanut butter? but you never said you opened the lid)

Hell, I’ve got an example in mdzs itself. The largely-faceless masses of the common people. If someone asks you to think about it critically like, yes, obviously these are people, living their own lives, with their own desires, sometimes suffering and dying in the wake of the novel plot. But does the story give weight to those deaths? Or does it just gloss by? Yes, it references their suffering occasionally, but it is not the focus, and it would slow the story unbearably to give equal weight to each dead person mentioned. 

Does Wei Wuxian’s massacre get given the same slow, careful consideration as Su She’s, or Jin Guangyao’s? No, because taking the time to weigh our protagonist with ‘well, this one was a mother, and her youngest son had just started walking, but now he’s going to grow up without remembering her face. that one only became an adult a few months ago, he still hasn’t been on many night-hunts yet, but he finds it so rewarding to protect the common people. oh, and this one had just gotten engaged, but don’t worry, his fiancee won’t mourn him, because she died here as well.’ And continuing on that way to some large number under 3000? No! Unless your goal is to make the reader feel bad for cheering for a morally grey hero, that would be a bad authorial decision! The book doesn’t ignore the issue, it comes up, Wei Wuxian gets called out about all the deaths he’s responsible for, but that’s not the same as them being given equal emotional weight to one (1) secondary character, and I don’t love this new thing where people are pretending that’s equivalent.

When Wei Wuxian brutally kills every person at the Wen supervisory office, are you like ‘holy shit... so many grieving families D:’ or are you somewhere between vindicated satisfaction and an ‘ooh, yikes’ wince? Odds are good you’re somewhere in the satisfaction/wince camp, because that’s what the story sets you up to feel, because the story has to emphasize its priorities (priorities vary, but ‘plot’ and ‘protagonist’ are common ones, especially for a casual novel read like this)

Now, characters. If you want to write a story with a sweeping, epic scale, or if you want to tightly constrain the number of people your story is about, I guess it’s possible to give everyone involved a meaningful character arc. Now.... is it always necessary? Is it always possible? Does it always make sense? No, of course not. If you want to do that, you have to devote real estate to it, and depending on the story you want to tell, it could very possibly be a distraction from your main point, like the idea of mxtx tenderly eulogizing every single character who dies even incidentally. Lan Qiren doesn’t get a loving examination of his feelings re: his nephews and wei wuxian and political turnover in the cultivation world because it’s not relevant, and also, because his position is pretty static until right near the end of the story. Lan Xichen is arguably one of the most static characters within the book, he seems like the same nice young between Gusu and the present, right up until... just before the end of the story.

You may see where I’m heading with this.

Like, just imagine trying to demand that every important character needs to go through a major life change before the end of your book or else it didn’t count. This just in, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg go through multiple novels without experiencing radical shifts in who they are, stop liking them immediately. I do get that the idea is that Jiang Cheng was a ~bad person~ who didn’t change, but asdgfsd I thought we were over the handwringing over people being allowed to like ““bad”” fictional characters. The man isn’t even a canonical serial killer, he’s not my most problematic fave even within this novel.

And here is where it’s a little more relevant that I would quibble with that original post about Jiang Cheng’s arc. He’s consistently a mean girl, but he goes from stressed, sharp-edged teenager, to grief-stricken, almost-destroyed teen, to grim, cold young adult (and then detours into grim, cold, and grief-stricken until grief dulls with time). He does become an attentive uncle tho. He..... doesn’t experience a radical change in his sense of self, which... it’s...... not all that strange for an adult. And bam, then he DOES experience a radical change, but the needs of the plot dictate that it’s right near the end. And he’s not the focus of the story, baby, wangxian is. He has the last few lines of the story, which nicely communicate his changes to me, but also asdfafas we’re out of story. He was never the main character, it’s not surprising we don’t linger! The extras aren’t beholden to the needs of plot, but they’re also about whatever mxtx wanted to write, and I guess she didn’t feel like writing about Jiang Cheng ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But also. Taking a step backward. Stable characters can fill a perfectly logical place in a story. Like, look at Leia Organa. I’m not saying she has no arc, but I am saying that she’s a solid point of reference as Luke is becoming a jedi and Han is adjusting his perspective. I wouldn’t call her stagnant, the vibes are wrong, but she also isn’t miserable in her sadness swamp, the way Jiang Cheng is.

Or, hell, look at tgcf. The stagnant, frozen nature of the big bad is a central feature of the story. The bwx of now is the bwx of 800 years ago is the bwx of 1500+ years ago. This is not the place for a meta on how that was bad for those around him and for him himself, but I have Thoughts about how being defeated at the end is both a thing that hurts him and relieves him. Mei Nianqing is a sympathetic character who’s also pretty darn static. Does Ling Wen have a character arc, or do we just learn more about who she already is and what her priorities always were? I’m going to cut myself off here, but a character’s delta between the beginning of a story and the end of a story is a reasonable way to judge how interesting writing character meta is, and is a very silly metric to judge their worth, and even if I guessed at what the basic logic is, for this character, I am still baffled that it’s being put forth as a real talking point.

(also, has it jumped ship to any other characters yet? have people started applying it in other fandoms as well? please let me know if this is the case, I am wildly curious)

(no, but really, if anyone is arguing that bwx is gross specifically because he had centuries to self-reflect and didn’t fix himself, i am desperate to know)

And finally. The thing I thought was most self-evident. Did I post about this sometime recently? If a non-central character experiences a life-altering paradigm shift right near the end of the story (without it being lingered over, because non-central character), oh my god. As a fic writer? IT’S FREE REAL ESTATE. This is the most fertile possible ground. If I want to write post-canon canon-compliant material, adsgasfasd that’s where I’m going to be looking. Okay, yeah, the main couple is happy, that’s good. Who isn’t happy, and what can I do about that? Happy families are all alike, while every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way, etc.

It’s not everyone’s favorite playground, but come on, these are not uncommon feelings. And frankly, it’s starting to feel a little disingenuous when people act like fan authors pick out the most blameless angel from the cast and lavish good things upon them. I’m not the only one who goes looking for a good dumpster fire and says I Live Here Now. If I write post-canon tgcf fic, it’s very likely to focus on beef and/or leaf. I have written more than one au focusing on tianlang-jun.

And, hilariously. If the problem with Jiang Cheng. Is that he is a toxic man fictional character who failed to grow on his own, and is either unsafe or unhealthy to be around. If the problem is that he did not experience a character arc. If these people would be totally fine with other people liking him, if he improved himself as a person. And then, if authors want to put in the (free! time-consuming!) work of writing that character development themselves. You would think that they would be lauded for putting the character through healthier sorts of personal growth than he experienced in canon. Instead, I am still here writing this because first, I was bothered by these authors being named as “freaks” who are obsessed with their ‘uwu precious tsundere baby’ with a “love language of violence,” and then I was graciously informed that people hate Jiang Cheng because he experiences no character growth.

[july-19th-club]

Recap for Roswell: New Mexico S2E10: “American Woman”: tsela vie 

4/5 ⭐s

In “American Woman” we meet two more characters who have been oft mentioned but never seen, though only one of them turns out to (so far) not be involved in one of the many conspiracies or secret-keeping situations that envelop anyone who has ever lived, or known someone who has lived, in Roswell, ever, at any time. One of these people is Diego, the fiance Liz ghosted after a project they were working on got de-funded and she abruptly realized she only liked him when they were working together, panic-fled to her dad’s house, and started the plot of the show. 

The second is the third Manes sibling, Gregory, who is as lean as his brothers are baby-faced and, from what we see of him, significantly better-adjusted than either of them. They have a cordially estranged relationship (when the gang arrives, Alex sets about awkwardly introducing his friends until Gregory reminds him that they all went to the same high school). While Alex and Flint stayed more in their dad’s orbit well into adulthood, Gregory has distanced himself in what seems like a pretty healthy way. He now lives on a Diné rez where the boys’ mother grew up, and to which the gang has road tripped to track down more alien family history.

It’s a relief to me that there are only two major plotlines in this episode - we’ve had a lot of ones recently where the action was scattered across six separate people doing six very different things, which both made the recaps really long and made the action feel crowded. Here, things are more self-contained, and aside from a few instances of weird dialogue, it’s a strong 4-star ep. 

The road trip plot, which begins with a lot of fun Isobel bits and a general sense of excitement - we’re on our way! to learn about ourselves and share a car for hours! - becomes sober as soon as the actual learning about themselves starts to happen. Gregory has been briefed on the parts of the alien backstory that can be reasonably told to him without revealing the alienness, so he shows the siblings around town - first to Louise’s gravesite, then to visit an old man who knew her personally. There’s a little gravestone indicating a child, but that’s only half the story - because the child survived, and was adopted. 

Some of the flowers at Louise’s gravesite are the hard-to-come-by blue ones whose pollen can be used to dampen alien abilities. Of course Michael secretes some (assuming, I imagine, that he won’t have to levitate anything until he can take them out of his pocket). Hmm...little star-shaped flowers...ground stars? Like it fucking says on Maria’s preserved-flower necklace? It takes the characters far longer than you’d think to put this bit together. I can now say my theory about the DeLuca family was 100% correct. Louise, who survived the shootout, was ferried by Tripp to safety and later had a baby girl, Patricia (who would be Roy’s daughter). Patricia grows up, has a baby girl Mimi, who of course grows up to have our very own Maria. With only one alien in her family tree, Maria doesn’t flag medically as extraterrestrial, but there’s enough of Louise in her for a little bit of power. Her great-grandmother couldn’t have known how alien abilities would manifest in a human child, or alter that child’s brain. And we still don’t know why Patty was listed as having been involved in a Caulfield experiment - it’s possible that was just a coverup in order to disguise an even more dangerous truth. 

So our road trippers head home, marinating on what they’ve learned today. While the pod squad think about the past, Alex is encouraged to think about the future. There is a particular kind of stagnating hope that you learn as an adult child of an unstable or abusive parent if you haven’t completely put that parent out of your life. They have less power over you than when you were a child, so you’re able to grant them the benefit of the doubt sometimes, and maybe even try to see them as someone who can be vaguely redeemed. This is the position Alex is in. It’s a shuffle anyone with a similar upbringing will recognize intimately: really, Dad’s been a lot better lately, I mean, he sucked, no doubt about it, but he’s better than he was. Gregory illustrates the other way of coping with the dissonance: If you want to forgive him, go for it, he says, I’ll hate him for you. Neither way is right or wrong - they’re both just responses, that can be healthy or unhealthy depending on the individual. When they manage to push past that Manes machismo for a second and have a fucking hug, it feels like they both really needed it. 

Relatedly, given that we’re visiting a place with strong personal meaning for Alex, I guess I went in expecting more; knowing Jesse he can’t have been the most respectful partner for an indigenous woman, which seems like one out of many good reasons to divorce the man. But what are the boys’ relationships to this side of their family? It looks like Gregory’s the only one for whom it is a part of his daily life, but how does Alex fit it in, if at all? Did it have an impact on the fact that he specialized in codebreaking and encryption in the military? Does he speak much Navajo? Does it occupy the same comfortable-but-not-comfortable mental space as his gayness, or is it more of a positive or a negative or is he simply estranged from it? What about his gung-ho brother Flint? I know I just said that one of this episode’s strengths was the decision not to spread the focus too thin, so I guess what I’m saying is, it’s something I hope gets explored in the future, because to give it more weight in this episode would’ve meant moving Liz’s plot to avoid overcrowding. 

And Liz’s plot is even more sober than the road trip: she’s at the hospital taking her dad to his bloodwork and visiting Jenna, and ICE starts raiding the building. Despite the blatant illegality of ‘detaining people waiting for medical procedures,’ they start hauling people in, including Arturo. From there it’s a cumulative twenty minutes of screentime and several agonizing hours of plot time, Liz alternately panicking and steamrolling in her attempts to be heard, and getting roundly dismissed by people who don’t care that her dad has been a mild-mannered restaurateur for the past thirty years, or that she’s literally got his green card application docs in her purse, or that he doesn’t have his meds. If all this sounds lesson-y or pointed, it’s not. Sometimes even a soapy show needs to spend time in real life, and real life’s terrors. The ICE scare in “American Woman” is the mild, optimistic version of how this stuff works, because Jenna is there and supportive and helpful and uses her whiteness to grease wheels, and the ex-fiance shows up and has strings he can pull, and Arturo’s able to get home that same day, and he doesn’t spend the rest of the show in a concrete cell with a foil blanket and fifty other sardined-in people, or dying of treatable illness in custody. It occurs to me at some point in these proceedings that Michelle, for all the dismissive and rude things she’s said about the Ortechos over the years, absolutely knew their immigration status and never once considered reporting them. 

Just as I appreciated the slower pace, it also pays off to have most of this episode’s content be as grounded and realistic as it is terrifying or saddening. We’re gearing up for the last leg of the season here, and we’ll be in for intense, fantastical plots then; it’s smart to get our commentary on adult adoptees and childhood abuse and human rights in a quiet place where the audience will be able to appreciate it, rather than squeezed in between power battles and government kidnapping schemes. 

And the consequences of today’s two main plots do not leave us ripe for easy resolution. With Diego back in her life, and feeling like she owes him, Liz’s easy relationship with Max seems all too likely to be complicated by the realities of having a past. The stresses of not having a past are wearing away at Max’s new leaf, and he’s angsty and snappish and says he feels completely alone, which there’s no right way for Liz to take. They make up, this time, though, and Max’s jealousy towards Diego reads so admirable that I wish Isobel and Michael were here to needle him into admitting the tiniest sliver of bisexuality. 

And down in the junkyard lab, Michael and Alex have one of their heated little argumentative discussions, because (as I’ve come to consider it) they are simply too fundamentally good at challenging one another. Sometimes this is healthy, and useful - sometimes they just frustrate each other. Today, it’s the latter. Alex’s occasionally savvy investigative juices are flowing, and he wants to see what his dad would do if presented with the alien artifact. Maybe he would lead them to more artifacts - maybe even some of Nora’s work - but as Gregory reminded us, he’s been erring badly on the side of not enough caution about Jesse lately. And no matter how Michael points this out, Alex just reads it as the usual pod squad skittishness, and keeps pushing. He pushes them right into an unwinnable argument at the very root of the distrust and fear and isolation they’ve been living in all their lives, pushes hard enough to get himself pushed right back out the door...and into the waiting arms of an unseen assailant. 

At this point, one thing, to me, became clear: Alex was never meant to ‘go talk to recruits;’ as came up several times in conversation earlier in the episode, to the point where it stopped being background dialogue and became part of the viewer’s pool of potentially relevant stuff. In this case, ‘relevant’ means ‘a fiction that he probably never even questioned’ — and one that gives his captors several days before anyone will think to worry. 

LITTLE STARS ON THE GROUND

Isobel styling her hair in the milkmaid-type braid we see Louise wear a lot in the flashbacks is really a lot, for me, personally, especially since I don’t know if you can clearly see her hairstyle in the one photo they have. The idea of her doing it on accident just busts me up somehow 

Forrest, still constantly squinting in what I think he thinks is a sexy way, asks Michael if Izzy is his girlfriend. “EW?!” “Gross.” “Is that how I present?” Another mark in his disfavor if you ask me 

Michael spends much of the early episode attempting to be the buffer zone between Maria and Isobel’s sniping, and then everything gets both deadly serious and much, much funnier when it becomes clear that Izzy is Maria’s....maternal great-aunt? Something like that, anyway. 

One thing thing that confused me: in the first-season episode “Songs About Texas,” the gang meets a fake faith healer whose mom has some stories about a nonverbal woman who lived on a reservation and whose abilities the faith healer has created a mockup of for her act. I assume now that she was talking about Louise, but I didn’t get the impression that the characters have at all made this connection. 

Harry mentions noticing how Tripp has changed as a person, and Tripp expresses a sentiment Alex echoes at the end of the first season: a gradual disgust with calling oneself a good person while continuing to obey directives without question. We’re slowly getting a picture of a man who spent much of his life echoing the party line while privately working entirely against it. Within the framework of his worldview, which was undoubtedly very different from his dissenting descendant, he still attempted to form his own understanding of right and wrong. 

Trying to suss out the road trip setup: looks like Max is driving (though it’s Izzy’s car), Alex is navigating (because, although he is the smallest of the guys, he’s the one who knows where they’re going so can’t sit in the back), and Michael is crammed in with the Isobel-versus-Maria show (an attempt to keep order, but being too gangly to sit in the middle, doomed to fail). Five-to-six-person trips in minivan or hatchback-sized cars is always a recipe for bitching, no matter how much you all like each other. 

If we wanna talk lines of the episode, they go to Jeanine Mason, as the greatest fear of Liz’s life, one which she says she’s built her life around, finally hits her. 

Michael’s very awkward way of expressing to Isobel that, if she ever did want to have a kid and human procreation wasn’t an option, he would, as a non-biologically-related member of her own species, happily donate toward that goal and how genuinely touched Izzy is. Neither of them are thinking about re-populating their dying alien race, just about the fact that they might want to be parents. It’s honestly quite sweet, if a bit weird. 

[penguinwithitsarseonfire]

Everyone Secretly Wants You

Pairing: 13th Doctor x Reader

Word Count: 3,528

Warnings: None

Summary: The Doctor takes her fam to an art gallery, showcasing the work of Ava Centuria, her favourite artist of the 42nd century. However, she gets more than she bargained for when said artist takes a keen liking to you.

A/N: I know today has been... a lot. So here's something short and fluffy I wrote to take my mind off of things. Keep yourselves safe and surrounded by love my friends. All the best everyone and lots of love ❤️

“Well then,” Graham said. “Art galleries have certainly changed.”

You had to agree. It didn’t really look like any sort of art gallery you had ever seen before. There were people performing on stages, gallery goers were dressed in multi coloured neon robes, and food that changed shape on on the trays the waiters carried around. It looked like some sort of fancy festival, and you felt like any second you would see Billie Eilish casually stroll around beside you.

You loved it.

“It’s the 42nd century Graham!” The Doctor cried. She was hard to miss, she had replaced her coat with one that was a bright neon blue. “No one cares about stuffy rich people etiquette at these sort of things, it’s why Ava Centuria is so amazing! She completely reshaped societal norms, she made kooky mainstream.”

“Sounds like fun,” Yaz said encouragingly, and she was giving the Doctor a pair of thumbs up. It looked comical, her finger nails were each a different neon colour, and she wore a black suit with neon coloured stripes, reminding you of the kind of thing a school principal would wear to a carnival, except, well, neon.

As the five of you entered, you passed a towering banner that had a woman’s face plastered across and the word ‘Welcome’ written beside her. She was quite beautiful, with sharp cheekbones, long curly black hair, and painted red lips.

“Woah,” Ryan said, as the whole lot of you craned your heads so you could see it more clearly. Ryan had gone all out for the gallery, and had neon green wings painted under his eyes, which matched the neon green blazer he was wearing over a white shirt. “Is that her? This Ava chick.”

“Yup,” The Doctor said proudly. “Oh I can’t wait to meet her, I bet she’s a riot.”

Then a pair of bells rang and you jumped, clutching onto the Doctor with a yelp. Your heart sat in your throat and the Doctor placed her hand onto yours. You soon found your gaze met with hers, and your heart continued beating rapidly, but this time, for an entirely different reason. In this light her eyes almost looked like they were bright green. They sparkled under the light, and for a moment, you were mesmerised.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

“Yeah,” you breathed out, tearing yourself off of her. “Just startled.”

A small marching band began walking past, wearing bright red uniforms. One of them blew something that looked like a kazoo, and it let out the shrilling bell sound that had just startled you. The Doctor gasped, her eyes shining in delight. “Oh I am following that,” and without another word, she had zoomed off.

The rest of you looked at each other, exasperated. After one moment, then another Yaz rolled her eyes. “Alright, okay, I’ll follow her. If we get into trouble I’ll ring.”

“Not too loud I hope,” Ryan said with a smirk. “Wouldn’t want to startle Y/N.”

You gave him a glare, that was only half fake.

“Oh nah,” Yaz said, and met Ryan’s smirk. “Without the Doc around, there’s no one for Y/N to cling on to!”

You began to splutter out a protest but the other’s laughed, and before you knew it, Yaz jogged off with a wave.

You sighed dejectedly. “I really was freaked out.”

“We know,” Graham said. “Just teasin’ is all.”

You, Ryan, and Graham began exploring the art gallery. Ryan nudged you on the shoulder. “When’re you gonna tell her anyway?”

“Tell who what?”

“You can play confused around her,” Graham said, by your other side. “But we know better.”

You rolled your eyes, and a waitress appeared in front of you, offering you a platter. You watched for a moment as the collection of little cakes changed from neon orange to neon cyan, and they looked almost as if they were glowing. It was so cool. You plucked one off the tray and shoved it into your mouth, nodded your thanks and then grinned ruefully at your friends as you sidestepped away from them.

The cake was nice. it wasn’t a flavour you could identify, but it was sweet and fluffy, like a cloud.

Graham took three.

“C’mon Y/N,” Ryan said, skirting around the waitress so he could catch up to you. “You know she likes you back.”

“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” you lied. “I just want to eat some cake and look at some funky art.”

Also a lie.

Graham held out one of the cakes to Ryan, and, in doing so, essentially barred you in between them. Ryan took off a chunk and popped it into his mouth. “What’s got you so worked up about it anyway, it’s not as if you’re as emotionally awkward as she is,” he sounded like he was speaking from experience.”

“You too,” you said. “Are the worst wingmen in the history of wingmen ever. Now I’m going to go over…” You glanced around the room, trying to find an area that was relatively crowded. “There,” you said, pointing at a crowd of people gathered around a stage where a man was eating… was that fire? Wow. “So,” you continued. “If you’re going to butt your noses into my love life, I suggest you keep up.”

You dove under Graham’s arm and ran. Look, it wasn’t as though you didn’t like them – of course you did, they were some of your best friends. But it was awkward talking about the Doctor. It was so confusing, she, was so confusing, and you didn’t have the energy to think about it right now.

You slipped into the crowd and scurried to the front, dogding and weaving through neon coloured bodies. When you made it you ducked, turning around so you could try and find Graham and Ryan through the gaps in the people.

There, in the back, towards the right. They were standing around like lost puppies. Good, you had definitely lost them.

Slowly, you navigated your way through the crowd until you were by the other side. This area was far quieter, and you ducked into a narrow hallway.

You’d lost them, and with it, you had lost those annoying questions.

You’d find them soon enough, you just needed ten minutes where a ‘will they, won’t they’ conversation wasn’t the focal point of anything and everything your friends wanted to talk about. Ten minutes without knowing smiles and staring at each other like they were in on some secret, or like they were characters on The Office.  

You found yourself in a relatively empty room, save a few individuals. There was clothing propped up everywhere, and you quickly realised it was on display like a stagnate fashion show. Slowly, you began walking around the room, taking it all in.

And then you saw it.

Completely and utterly confused, you stood in front of a dress. You caught snatches of conversation from the people next to you, who were praising the piece for its creativity and out-of-the-box presentation, but to you... well, it was ugly.

It held a clattering of different patterns; the skirt was made with stripes of cheetah print, rainbow polka dots, red gingham, and acid washed denim. The top clashed even more, and was made of a sequinned fabric, one that, when you moved it, you assumed would change colour.

You weren't sure if it was supposed to be an open smock or a cape, but a sheer, neon orange fabric was drapped around behind the dress and over the arms of the mannequin. It ended in huge black ruffled lace, lining the mannequins wrists and the kissing the floor.

Now, this wouldn't be too bad if there were any structure to the dress, but it was cut into a t-shirt shape, so there wasn't any reason, practically or otherwise, to separate the skirt from the top.

Not to mention the Edwardian style ruff collar that sat around the neck, was made out of, of all things, CD’s – which apparently still existed. You wondered if it was a commentary on something, though you couldn't think of what.

You screwed your face up, concentrating, trying to find something, just a single element about the dress that you liked. It was just... awful, you were sure you could even argue that as an objective fact. Surely the thing broke some sort of laws about fashion and style.

"It's a social experiment," a warm voice said beside you, and you jumped. You hadn't heard anyone coming.

You turned to face the person who owned the voice, and assessed her thoughtfully. You recognised her, but you weren't sure from where.

"I thought I would explain it to you," she continued. "Since you were quite obvious on your distaste for the piece."

The realisation dawned on you like a wave of ice water, running through your mind and down into your bones. Her high cheekbones, her wry cherry red smirk,  her unruly, uncontrolled black curls dancing under the light as she cocked her head to the side, it couldn't be.

But it was. Standing beside you was Ava Centuria, the artist whose work was on display.

The artist who had designed this dress.

The artist who had just called you out on not liking her dress.

Your realisation must have shown on your face, because she broke out in a pearly laugh. "I do appreciate constructive criticism though. So, tell me, what don't you like about it?"

You gauged her thoughtful. Part of you was about to splutter out an apology, tell her that you actually really did like her work. But that would be a lie, and somehow, under Ava Centuria's warm gaze, lying to her just didn’t feel right.

You looked back to the dress, then to her. “Honestly. I… I just think it’s ugly.”

She let out a delighted laugh again, and you realised it was actually quite a lovely sound. “You’re the first to say that.

”“Is that a bad thing?” You asked, because really, you had just insulted her work, and she seemed happy about it.

“It’s refreshing,” she said, and she regarded the dress. “And you’re right. It is ugly. I made it so on purpose.”

This just made you more confused. “I’m sorry? Why would you do that?”

She gave you a kind smile, and you felt yourself warm in response. Ava Centuria really was striking, it looked like she had been moulded by the gods. She was the kind of beautiful that poets wrote about. “Like I said, it’s a social experiment.”

You smiled at that, thinking of the Doctor. You would have to show her this, she loves a good experiment. “What are you experimenting?”

“People,” she said, and she brushed her arm over your elbow, guiding you with her to look around the room. Her touch was warm, and you found that you didn’t mind her touching you at all.

“I find it terribly interesting,” she said, her voice low and soft in your ear. She was so completely close – you could smell her perfume, which was sweet, like a warm Spring breeze. “That something could be completely mundane, or even downright awful, but, if you give it prestige, suddenly everyone completely and utterly adores it,” when she turned to look at you again, her eyes sparkled. “It is why I appreciate you, you are honest. It is not something I am accustomed to.”

It was a sobering statement. “That seems like a lonely way to live.”

Her expression faltered, her wry grin falling into a small, sad, smile. “It can be” she gave you a knowing look. “Sometimes, though, I am lucky enough to find someone who can make the days just a little bit brighter.”

You thought about the Doctor, who lied so often, and kept so many secrets. Was she lonely too? Even with the fam, even with you with her? Did you help make her days brighter?

“I’m terribly sorry,” she said after a moment, recatching your attention.  “But I didn’t seem to catch your name.”

You noticed she had still not let go of your arm, and was caressing you slightly with her thumb.

You chuckled. “I never gave it.”

“Surely then you must share it.”

You told her your name and she smiled. “Ah. Y/N. It is fitting. It is a beautiful name for an equally beautiful person.”

You felt your eyes widen and your ears tense. Had she just-

“I am an artist,” she continued. “I know these things.”

You felt your cheeks grow hot. It wasn’t often people as gorgeous as Ava Centuria just casually flirted with you.

She stuck out her other hand. “I am Ava, by the way.”

It was such a bizarre turn of events that it startled a laugh out of you. You took her hand. “I know who you are, Ms Centuria.”

“Ava,” she repeated. “And, I know. But I felt it was important for a formal introduction, especially when one considers what I am about to ask you.”

You paused at that. Ask what?

“I would like to give you a tour,” she said. “A personal one, just for you. I would very much like to hear your thoughts on my collection and…” her movement on your arm faltered. “I would very much like to get to know you better, if you would let me.”

Under the lighting, Ava’s hair seemed to glow, like a halo of light was wrapped around it. She looked ethereal, and you couldn’t believ that she had just –

Oh gosh, Ava Centuria had just asked you on a date. Now. As in, immediately.

“Oh Y/N,” a familiar voice called out. “There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

You turned to see the Doctor strolling up, her neon blue coat billowing behind her. She… there was no other word for it, she looked awkward. Her hands were balled into fists, and she was giving you a strained smile. Behind her, across the other side of the room, stood Yaz and Ryan. Yaz was giving you an incredulous look, as if you had just taken the last cake from a tray, and Ryan, Ryan looked like he was about to whoop into the air, or shake you.

You had no idea how to interpret either of those looks.

“Doctor,’ you said and her smile softened as she met your gaze.

You turned back to Ava, sure that you had flushed, and untangled yourself from her grasp. The Doctor was beside you - and when had she appeared? She wrapped her arm around your frame, pulling you in to your side. "You must be Ava Centuri?" She said, but her smile seemed too wide, too forced. "Oh I'm a big fan!"

Ava stiffened. “Well,” she said, and her voice was distant. “It appears I am at  a disadvantage, Y/N has not told me about you.”

“Oh! Well that’s surprising, I’m Y/N’s number one. We’re very, very close, Y/N and I,” her other hand fell across your arm, the spot where Ava had just been holding you. “We’re two peas in a pod, birds of a feather, made from the same cloth, you could say. Oh, a match made in heaven! Like Bonnie and Clyde,” she scrunched up her face. “No wait, not them, They died.”

“They also killed a lot of people,” you added. “Which wasn’t great.”

“That to,” The Doctor said, nodding to you like it was the most serious conversation you had ever had. She turned back towards Ava. “I’m the Doctor.”

“Well met Doctor,” Ava said, and she seemed to genuinely mean it. “I’m quite sorry though, you see, Y/N and I were-”

“Oh yeah!” The Doctor said. “I’m terribly sorry,” She squeezed your shoulder again, and it looked like the Doctor wasn’t sorry at all. “But we have to be off. We’ve got loads of things to meet, people to see, and places to do,” she scrunched up her face again. “No, wait, that’s the wrong order.”

“Things to do, people to meet, and places to see,” you supplied.

The Doctor grinned at you, utterly delighted. You felt a swell of pride in your stomach, you loved that you were the cause of that smile.

“Ah,” something seemed to dawn on Ava, and she looked in between you and The Doctor. Her eyes lingered on the Doctor’s arm, which was still securely wrapped around your waist. That small, sad smile from earlier returned. “I, I do believe I understand,” she turned to the Doctor. “You have found an angel among mortals, be sure you remember that.”

The Doctor audibly swallowed, and her grip on you faltered, for a moment. “I – uh, yeah. You’re right. Completely right, actually. Always knew you were clever.”

She nodded. “Good,” she turned to you. “And dear Y/N, if you ever find yourself wanting to entertain the whims of a lonely artist, I really would consider myself so very lucky.”

You didn’t know what to say.

She took your hand, and placed a delicate kiss on your knuckles, a part of you felt your arm tingle at the contact. “I best not keep you then. It was a pleasure meeting you, Y/N. Doctor.” She gave the Doctor a consolatory nod, and left.

“Huh,” The Doctor said. “She was… I’m not sure I liked her as much as I thought I would.”

You hummed, not necessarily agreeing, but not really knowing what to say. You watched Ava walk away with a small frown. You hoped she was okay, she had been kind. She deserved kindness.

She wasn’t someone who your heart could belong to.

You turned to the Doctor. “So, what’s up? Is everything okay?”

The Doctor paused, her face falling. It was almost as if you could see the cogs turning in her brain, but you couldn’t work out why she was thinking so hard. “I think Graham’s gotten lost,” The Doctor said suddenly. “So I think it’s high time we find him and get out of here, what’d you say?”

You nodded, and, still holding you, The Doctor and you began walking out the room. You found your friends gathered outside the TARDIS, in fact, neither you or the Doctor had even paused to find Graham. You assumed Yaz and Ryan had done so, when you and the Doctor were talking to Ava.

On the way in, you noticed how the neon everyone was wearing glowed under the crystals. The Doctor was gorgeous in a way you couldn’t describe. She was here, present, by your side. It was so tangible, suddenly.

You had never noticed before, the way her hair softly fell around her face. She had bright neon stripes of green in it, and you wondered, absentmindedly, when she had had them done. The chain from her earring glinted in the soft light, the stars along the chain glittering.

In a soft voice, you asked. “Why the neon, do you think?”

“I dunno,” she said, and she shut the door behind Ryan, the last to enter the TARDIS. He was giving you a funny look, and you chose to ignore him. You chose to ignore Graham and Yaz too, for good measure. You would get embarrassed and fluder, you could already feel it.

“Sometimes,” the Doctor said, after a moment, and she looked around the room. “When you can’t find any brightness, you wonderful humans chose to create it instead. Even in the darkest of times.”

“Us humans?” You smiled, and you took a chance, maybe this time, just once, the Doctor could be honest. “What do you do then, Doc?”

“I don’t need to create it,” she said, her gaze wholly focused on you. “I’ve found it.”

You swallowed, your mouth suddenly dry. That… The Doctor couldn’t possibly mean what you thought she meant. But she looked at you so intently, as if you were her entire universe. Her gaze flickered across your face, across the neon yellow flowers Yaz had painted on your cheeks, across your nose, and on your lips.

She leaned in, or maybe it was you, and she as so close now.

The sound of a loud cheer shattered the spell. You jumped back in shock.

“Finally!” Ryan cried, all the way from across the console.

You looked up to see Ryan, Graham, and Yaz standing off to the side, watching you like a collection of hawks. Graham and Yaz turned to Ryan in astonishment. Yaz elbowed Ryan and he doubled over. She tugged on his ear and whispered harshly.

The Doctor grinned when she spoke. “I can hear you, y’know.”

You, however, could not.

“Is it true?” She asked them, and you desperately wished you could have heard.

Graham gave you both a look, one which said ‘sort it out yourselves’.

The Doctor turned back to you. “I think you and I need to have a talk, later, when there’s no one else around?”

She looked vulnerable, her eyes wide and pleading, as if you hadn’t been just about to kiss her.

You nodded, giving her a small, warm smile. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

[some-dr-writings]

Korekiyo and Nagito x SHSL Military General

Korekiyo Shinguji:

·       “Simply beautiful.” Korekiyo found himself saying those two words often around The Super High School Level Military General. Everything about such a person was simply so, how could anything else describe them.

·       At first he had heard the rumors of you, the strict, stone cold, military general whom had taken over their entire class. With a simple snap of the finger you’d summon your entire class, utter one word and they were already off obeying your coded command. Your every movement was stiff, yet effortless. Everything had a deliberate purpose, even a twitch of the nose. You had such control over everything and everyone around you, all bending to your will.

·       Kiyo was content simply observing you at a distance, and yet a part of him wanted to disturb your space, to know you better. Though from a single glance he could tell idle chit-chat was not something you’d partake in, so he was fine. What did surprise him though was you approaching him.

·       “I need your expertise.” “AH! Oh… It’s you.” He took a deep breath, placing a hand over his heart. “You startled me. I hadn’t even realized you had come in. How may I help you?” “Anthropology, you study human beings, their culture and traditions, the origins of those, that is what you do, correct?” “Indeed, it is.” In one swift movement you took off your hat, holding it over your chest before bowing. “Please teach me. The better I understand people, I may better understand my soldiers and our targets. I must learn all I can to make conflict end with minimal damage to all sides. I must learn how to form people into as powerful, independent, a team player, and dependable as they can be so that they may survive, even without my direct guidance. That is my sole goal in life, would you assist me in my endeavor?” “… Simply beautiful. I would love to help in any way I can.” And that was how you had begun to regularly meet with Kiyo and visit him in his lab.

·       Any and all stories Kiyo would tell you or any artifacts he’d show, you’d always take detailed notes, dissecting them in order to find the humanity behind such fables, find what compelled people to do what they did. Kiyo could not but help to notice how you did seem to have a preference for specific tales, ones of trickery such as Odin and his many escapades. It was not for the aspects of humanity it explored, you seemed to simply enjoy it for yourself, something… quite rare.

·       All you did was for others. That selfish love of being the one to protect others or bring them joy, that part of you reminded him so much of his classmate Kirumi, so much so, he introduced you two, thinking you could get along well together, and that he was right on. You and Kirumi instantly clicked, often meeting with one another, exchanging advice and stories. You allowed Kirumi to assist you when you were leading your classmates in study or work and even went out of your way to seek her out. You both did what you loved out of this, assisting others and leading them into becoming their best selves. Seeing such a friendship blossom was extraordinary, especially so between two amazing individuals such as yourselves.

·       You seemed to change a little after meeting Kirumi. You were still stark and quiet, rarely speaking, but on occasion he found you’d just sit beside him as he read or went about his own business, both keeping to yourselves while still keeping one another company. Soon though you became more direct. “Follow me.” And that he did, even keeping in time with your foot falls. Soon he found himself on the field where Kaito, Shuichi and Maki were as well. “Oh, Shinguji’s your new sidekick?” “…” “Alright then! Let’s get to training!” Every evening there after you had brought Korekiyo to those raining sessions, strictly making sure he improved every day. Then you also took him to watch Himiko’s magic shows, play tennis with Ryoma, whom Korekiyo thought would not play the sport again till he spotted you speaking with the man, of course a person like you could lead Ryoma back to his old passions. You got Kiyo to regularly spend time with just about everyone, one day he’d be playing piano with Kaeda as he discussed the history of the piece they were playing, the next you and he were in a week long prank war with Kokichi.

·       “Here.” Kiyo looked between you and the clothing you had passed to him, most notably those boots. “Be at the front gate of the school dressed in these in half an hour.” Without another word you simply left. When he got to the gate you simply walked away from him to follow. You went hiking. “Winded already?” “N-No… Just… catching my breath.” “I know you can do better, keep up.” You simply marched on as Kiyo tried keeping up. Eventually you had reached the top of the small mountain. “Ah, the city.” You could clearly see it, along with Hope’s Peak. “Keep up hiking. Seeing the greenery should be enough motivation to keep going.” “Oh, you won’t be joining me? I may forget, you know.” “You will not. I train all those under me to be independent and be able to survive without me.” “… So, you’re saying you won’t be around?” “…” You didn’t speak for a moment, your gaze unwavering from the city with your arms crossed. “All day every day you simply tended to your books and artifacts or watch others. You care not for your own health. That cannot do. I… I wish you to survive and have connections. And I certainly believe you wish to live to see the beauty of humanity firsthand. That you cannot do when dead or bed ridden from lack of caring for yourself. Even if introverted, humans are social creatures, so you need to speak with others on occasion on topics other than your passions. You must learn of others, how they see the world in order to connect. Because of you and Kirumi, and others… I’ve learned that making connections is so vital, even if it will hurt in the end, some connections are worth making.” Finally, you locked eyes with him. “My country calls for me, I must protect them, but I… I wish to see you in particular… See you… thrive. Experience the beauty of humanity firsthand, no longer be a bystander. Become unrecognizable when next we meet, become the greatest person you can. Do not die, and do not stagnate. Keep improving and learn what you taught me.”

·       “I see, you shall be leaving then…” “… Hmm? What’s the matter, it’s unlike you to become so down cast.” “I have? Well… I love you. You are the most amazing person I have met. I’ve taken advantage of our time together, and seeing it… Y/N?” You still so stoically stood there, but your entire face was flushed pink. “you… love me… I, y-you can go on, why did you stop?” He laughed. He laughed in that almost strange way only he did. His eyes were half lidded, and you saw the crow’s feet in the corners. He was so clearly, gently smiling, you felt as if your heart would beat right out of your chest from the mere sight of it. “Adorable.” “I…” That blush only darkened and darkened, as you had instinctively taken a step back, fearing being so vulnerable in the moment, yet… liking it also. You… you never allowed yourself to be vulnerable like this, or at least so rarely did, you had almost forgotten the feelings. You buried your face into your hands. Kiyo simply took your hands into his own, gently leading them down so he could see that slightly wobbly smile, and the red that so elegantly dusted your cheeks.

·       Not even a week later and you disappeared as if you had never even attended the school. Despite the years that had passed Korekiyo made sure to stay connected too his high school classmates. Kiyo had taken to traveling with Rantaro who was searching for his sisters, Shuichi who was putting his detective skills to use in searching for them, and Kirumi who acted as Shuichi personal maid believing with the right assistance he could become a truly amazing person. They were a rather fun group to travel with. In the evenings when time permitted, he and Shuichi would do some exercises and reminisce on the training they had done in high school. Any time they found themselves in your home country, Kiyo couldn’t help but wonder how you were the whole time. Kiyo and Rantaro would often chat through the night when in your country, Rantaro of his sisters and Kiyo of you. They also spoke of the travels they had taken before high school. Being with them… it was simply amazing, and Kiyo was eternally thankful for all you had done for him, and he was the determined to not disappoint your expectations for when you’d meet next… you just had to meet again.

    Nagito Komaede:

·       Many were confused to see the Super High School Level Military General always hanging around Nagito; you never spoke with him, you didn’t even seem to like him, you were just always near him, even when he left campus you still followed him. Eventually rumors had begun sprouting up that the pair of you were in a relationship of some sort, but even that didn’t make sense. If any asked, you never said a word. Some asked Nagito but even he didn’t know, he just accepted the fact that you were around now.

·       “… Weapon, I can hold my tongue back no longer.” You spoke! Nagito was amazed! In your following him around, you had also dragged him around so that you could do your own work and though that Nagito saw your command in action over and over again, but with your gaze locked to his own, that sharp voice resonating deep within himself… the experience was unlike any other. “Am I to see you as human, or a weapon, I do not know any longer.” “Oh? A weapon?” “Yes, a weapon.”

·       Nagito felt his breath getting caught in his throat, his heart pounding against his rib-cage in a steady pace, like a taiko drum. It were as if his other senses had gone numb, they existed only for you, your intimidatingly kind visage, your solid unwavering voice, even touch, he could only feel the barest, slightest bit of your body heat. There was only you… So, THIS was the power of the Super High School Level Military General. No wonder all listened and heeded your every last breath.

·       “Clearly you hold no self-worth, always calling yourself ‘trash’, always doing everything you’re told by others you see as superior, us ‘Ultimates, beacons of hope’ as you’d phrase it. You have no drive or ambition other than pleasing ones you see as great… That…” You simply stared at him for a moment, you just didn’t move at all. “… I find myself compelled, compelled to take you under my wing, get you to see yourself for how truly amazing you are, and yet I too fear that. If you gain personhood, you would become the most dangerous weapon the world has ever known. You don’t just have luck, you can influence it and predict it to an extent. If you gained self-worth and ambition and decided to use your talent you could destroy the world single handedly. If you wanted too, and yet you are also just as dangerous in your current state. In this state you’d willingly go along with any and all who’d wish to use you as the weapon you are, and with no substantial will of your own, you would be used without fuss and all the while not worry about any destruction you’d cause, believing hope would overcome any despair or tragedy no matter how great. So… to attempt to give you will so you’d be less likely to be manipulated by others, or leave you as you are so you grow no ambition of your own. That is what I cannot decided. As I see you now, I know not what you think, if you gained any ambition what you could possibly want. My goal in life is to protect everyone, even my enemies, and you… You are the greatest threat I have ever met. Your ‘luck’… the travesty it could cause is worse than any atomic weapon I know of and I must be rid of you.” “… It sounds like you could solve this by killing me. Nobody could use me than and I wouldn’t be able to want to use my luck.” Many would find it strange just how matter-of-factly Nagito had stated that, and yet, being around him for so long you were not surprised.

·       What… what happened? Nothing about you had changed, and if you had, it was so subtle Nagito did not notice. He was terrified. Something in him screamed to run and hide, yet he was frozen. “Life is never to be weighed lightly. From the tinniest flea to the smartest and biggest whale. Life is never to be spoken of, let alone treated of so flippantly. Even that of your most despised and hated of enemies… At times, death is the only option, but if there are others that exist, they must be taken into account. Life… Life is the weightiest thing in existence. Never underestimate the impact the death of any single creature can have on everything. All life matters, even yours, though you yet to see it. You may deny it but heed my words. You matter. You matter more than you can ever realize. So, should there be a way to defuse the catastrophe that is laying dormant, only building more the longer you exist, I WILL find out how.” That terror that entrapped him faded and he felt as if he were gasping for breath after almost drowning. “You, I yet know what to do with, but for now we shall be retiring to my room so I may go through with planning.”

·       Then you turned and walked away. Nagito followed, in aw and amazement at you! You were truly a force to be reckoned with, simply astonishing! Though he didn’t believe he deserved it, if you saw fit to exchange so many words with him, he was truly honored. And he could not wait to see what decision you’d come too; he was quite looking forward to see what you were going to do to him.

·       “I need more data. I can not come to a conclusion. We shall proceed as we have before.” Despite saying that, things were never quite the same after that day. You would talk to him on occasion. Not much, but those brief exchanges were captivating none the less. Nagito became your assistant of sorts, keeping count as you did pushups or other exercises, or tidying up and cleaning so you could focus on more important things such as training yourself or others, perhaps even cooking or bringing you food so you didn’t have to interrupt that mental exercise you were trying out. Always being around you, he was kind of forced to pick up some of your habits in order to keep up, like trying to keep pace on your morning jogs. It became a sort of challenge for you to protect Nagito from his bad luck. You tried your damnest to stop the chaotic results no matter how small, whether it affected others or not.

·       Despite how Nagito always went on and on about how he was trash, you were impressed with how smart and capable he was, even going over military strategies with him. This quickly spread to other things. You started playing board games, seeing if your strategizing could out do the boy’s good luck, even playing luck-based games to challenge yourself into finding some strategy, even if it were underhanded. No matter what you tried though, Nagito was unflappable, much like yourself. Playing games with him became your favorite pastime- TRAINING! It was training… not for fun. Though relaxing is important, so plaything with him served a dual purpose… yeah, th-that’s it.

·       It was late spring on the cusp of summer. “Hey! Y/N! That’s thirty laps!” You waded in the water for a moment, catching your breath before allowing the crashing waves to push you to shore. As the gulls cawed you marched up the shore across the reds, purples, and oranges of the setting sun behind you so beautifully reflecting off the sand. There Nagito stood, a towel draped over his arm, a small bowl of ice cream in each hand. “A small burst of energy before I can get you a more calorie rich meal. “… I thank you.” Nagito simply passed you a bowl before patting your face with the towel, then wrapping it around you… Sometimes he wondered if you always had that light blush on your cheeks. He had been with you for so long, it was difficult to separate how you looked back when you first had met to now. He thought he’d remember, but he just wasn’t quite sure. Though he found himself deliberating on this because it seemed that blush was spreading… “Something the matter Boy? You’ve been staring for a while, and just… kind of holding the towel over my shoulders.” “a-ah! So, I have! I, I deeply and sincerely apologize. I just love yoooooouuuuu-” Oh no. “Your face! I love your face!... So much!” Internally Nagito was screaming about how he just let that slip out despite how he just so calmly smiled like this was an everyday occurrence. Truly, he was a mess of a person. “Y-you too?” Then you squeaked, realizing what you just said. And there you both just stood starting at one another. “Dinner, we’re supposed to get dinn… dinner…” “Y/N?” “Boy, how long have we been dating?” “Huh?” “We’ve been inseparable, and… we do more than train like watch movies an… stuff, so…” You then just walked away. “W-wait, Y/N!” “I can’t speak, I’m eating ice cream!”

·       Even after years the pair of you were still inseparable. The only time you seemed to be apart was when you went to war, but no matter the distance or trials you faced, you’d always return to him. As for Nagito… he thought this was for the best, after all, you were a humanitarian, if realistically possibly you’d protect life, so a person as dangerous as himself always under the watch of someone so amazingly strong… always protected by you from the world and even himself… the thought sent his heart a flight.

[sillyandquiteawkward]

little father and bayley fic under the cut bc i forgot my ao3 password and im lazy. hope you enjoy

Food supplements and leafy greens sat on Doctor Bayley's plate, which he picked at distastefully. The Director of the Institute, Father, sat across from him, making decent headway with his own meal.

"I don't think I can ever learn to enjoy the food supplements. This flavor isn’t palatable either," Bayley curtly complained with a heavy sigh. He felt Father's lingering judgement upon him for refusing most of his meal again, without even having to look up. He poked at the slab of supplement with the tines of his fork. Even the various flavors the Institute boasted of supplements couldn't save Bayley from the pastes, powders, and bars turning his stomach. He was trying his best to find a flavor he could stand, but to Bayley, even mirelurk was easier to eat. At least the fresh vegetables were decent, if not simply boiled or baked if cooked at all. "I'd kill for some real meat on your menu."

"Come now, Doctor, we have little need to slaughter irradiated animals for food in this day and age. BioScience has developed the perfect meal dozens of times over, consisting of the exact amount of daily nutrients a man like yourself needs," Father replies coolly. Bayley glared at the older man. Of course he'd like them -- he grew up on the damn things. Well, Bayley grew up on real food!

"Designed a food that doesn't even fill your stomach," he mumbled behind his mug as he took a sip. Now to their credit, this was something Bayley actually liked. The coffee wasn't stale 200 year old beans and grounds. My god, they perfected the damn synthetic coffee and Bayley couldn't imagine going back.

Father confidently smirked, passing smoothly over Bayley's remark with a gentle shake of his head. "You poor surface dwellers, eating any and all the food you can scrounge to stave off hunger. I'm glad we were able to save you from that life. Give it time, Doctor. Your stomach will re-adjust to your new diet."

Bayley scoffed dismissively and set his fork down to keep nursing his coffee. Father took his own sip of tea. The pair fell into a dip of silence, accompanied by the gentle clink of silverware against plate as Father continued to finish off his lunch. Behind them a few tables over, there was a slight chatter from another pair of scientists in the cafeteria. Licking a crumb of food supplement left on the edge of his mug with a grimace, Bayley listened to their distant hushed conversation. Sounded like gossip about another scientist’s love affair... Hard to believe that even the “perfect” Institute could be filled with, what was ultimately, humans.

Father spoke up after a minute of Bayley straining to eavesdrop, "Why don't you tell me about yourself, Doctor?"

"...Why?" Bayley eyed Father suspiciously. "Don't you already know all about me? Isn't that why I'm here?"

Father took a warm sip of his mug before continuing. "I know about your reputation, or lack thereof." Bayley all but growled at the dig. "And I know you care deeply for the progress of humanity, as do I, albeit a tad misguided. You’re a highly intelligent man, Doctor, but I'm afraid I don't know about you, personally. I'd like to remedy that."

What could Bayley tell Father about? Why should he? Oh, but he loved to talk about himself... Bayley leaned back in his chair with folded hands in his lap, food left forgotten on his plate. "What is there to say? I'm a man married to his work, who likes breathing fresh air. On the surface."

“What got you into studying radiation?” Bayley noticed Father missed his complaint, or at least was ignoring it. “Surely you didn’t set out from the start on such a dangerous fascination.” Father had a look of curiosity on his face that seemed genuine to Bayley, although he still had suspicions this had ulterior motives.

“It was almost from the beginning actually. As I studied medicine in my youth, traveling along the Wasteland, I have to admit,” Bayley paused to consider his wording. “I had a distinct admiration of the ghoul’s ability to utilize radiation to build themself anew. The destructive power of radiation makes using it dangerous and even deadly, true, but I imagined a world where we could manipulate the human body to replicate how a ghoul’s body uses the gamma particles destructive properties to heal themselves, sans the ghoulification process of course.” Okay, so maybe he planned to be cagey, but Father just had to ask him about the thing he’s devoted his entire life to. Sorry, he’s gonna get excited. “I’d seen first hand ghouls reattach long lost limbs to themselves and remain functional, ferals even being brought back to life by glowing ones’ radiation bursts, and the stories of people growing functional limbs from radiation exposure caught my particular attention at a young age.”

“Fascinating things ghouls are, although their rotten brains and appearance are less than desirable. If anything their longevity is what catches my attention. Living over hundreds of years...” Father drifts off, looking past Bayley. “Imagine what one could achieve with that extra time.”

“Living forever doesn’t matter if you aren’t healthy,” Bayley corrected. “What’s the point of living if you are just suffering every day. I’m focusing myself to helping people in this day and age, instead of chasing functional immortality.”

“Maybe that’s the difference between us,” Father sighs. “Everything I do is for tomorrow, and tomorrow’s tomorrow. Humanity's future lies in our successor’s hands. It’s a shame we cannot directly work with our future generations to combine our knowledge. All we can do is help prepare them for when we are gone.”

“Eventually people in charge need to step down and let the fresh ideas in, otherwise we’ll collectively stagnate. We are stubborn creatures who hate change, snuffing out ideas that contradict our own. If someone like you lived forever, he’d never give up the reins.”

“I suppose you’d do the same,” Father states blandly, eyes half-lidded. “As you said, we are stubborn creatures.”

Bayley sputters, sitting back up in his chair. “No, I am the innovator in this scenario! I’ve been ostracized for my ideas, kicked out and shunned. No one sees my potential to change the world!”

“And in your age, have you begun to prepare an heir to your scientific knowledge, Doctor? Or do you think you can finish this chronicle yourself, with the few years left in your life?”

“I-I have to prove myself first! No one trusts my work because they don’t see the proof -- which I was working on when you so kindly stole me away from my clinic and subjects!” Bayley hissed, gripping the edge of the table.

Unphased, Father folded his hands on the table. “I trust your work, Doctor Bayley. I’ve seen your studies, seen what you can do when you are truly devoted to a cause. This is why I wanted you with us at the Institute. I want you to share your knowledge to us, so that we may pass it to the future with us. Let us help you ensure your legacy. We have the same goals, and we even have similar methods if you can believe it. Imagine what we can do together when we combine our knowledge, for humanity’s sake.”

Bayley raised an eyebrow at that. “Similar goals perhaps, but I wont be a part of the kidnapping and killing of Commonwealth citizens. You Institute folk are outrageously barbaric for all your self-righteousness.”

“We simply know how to weigh the importance of breaking a few eggs for the omelette. You too understand this principle closely, don’t you?”

Bayley grimaced flatly. “You truly know how to charm a man to your side.” This conversation was over if Bayley had anything to say about it, which he did. He gulped from his mug, keeping it up to his mouth as he turned physically away from Father. He’ll finish this and go back to his room. Trapped in the Institute with these madmen, forced to go along with things else suffer the same fate as the hundreds of others taken to the Institute. And Father had the gall to act like they were the same, that Bayley could excuse innocents murdered for “science.” He slammed the mug back onto the table.

“I hope you’ll understand one day soon, Doctor. I really do.” Father sighed, closing his eyes in defeat as Bayley stood up.

“I don’t want to understand,” Bayley said as he stormed past Father back to the concourse.

It was too much to think about, if Bayley was being honest with himself. He grit his teeth climbing the stairs, tense. A scientist descending the stairs stood to the side as Bayley passed, clearly wanting to give the angry man some space and avoid any conflict. Good. If he was to stay here, people should give way for him. Now if only Father was like that. He passed a pair of expressionless generation two synth guards eyeing their laser weapons as he ascended the next flight.

God, he was annoyed. Of course Father had to go ruin another meal together talking nonsense of Bayley hurting others. He tried his best not to hurt his subjects -- everyone was willing and importantly, no one had died under his care! Sick perhaps in the early days... but it wasn’t death! Bayley couldn’t stand the idea his great idea could possibly kill others when it was supposed to be helping them. If he was ever responsible for someone’s death...

Bayley slid open the automatic door to his small, barren room. It was just a simple bed and desk, which was plenty for Bayley, but he wished he had his trinkets and such if he was going to be living here until the day he dies. He collapsed onto the stiff bed, face pressing against the cool pillow. He missed his couch. He missed his clinic. Bayley even considered he missed being annoyed by Jonathan and Jay’s antics. Jay would try his best to cheer him out of this spiraling train of thought, and Jon would know plenty of things to distract him with.

If he was ever responsible for their deaths, Bayley considered he’d quit on the spot. He’d probably become deeply depressed until he really did just curl up and die, however fast it came after. All his life’s work to save humanity, and he’d killed the only people who trusted him most to do so.

But the truly terrible part of him hidden away deep in his heart wondered that if someone was to die as a result of his work, perhaps even if he wasn’t working willingly with the Institute, that he'd simply wouldn’t care.

[manggaetteokkie]

Why 2HA adaptation might not be as bad as we think...

Okay so BL novel “The Husky and His White Cat Shizun” (chinese title: “二哈和他的白猫师尊”) aka 2HA is getting a live adaption which will be called “Immortality” (“皓衣行”). I know that usually, fans of original works are less than excited about this kinds of news and with good reasons. The issue is that those who buy the IP rights to a novel simply see its popularity and think that they can profit off of it without actually trying to understand the reason behind its popularity. Too often, BL fans see themselves forced to endure any of the following: 1) sex change of one of the male leads, 2) creation of a random female love interest, 3) turning a happy end into a bad end, 4) adding a bunch of scenes unrelated to our main pair that ends up dragging the series, 5) turning romance into brotherly affection... the list goes on and on. Sometimes, companies think that as long as they film any two guys together and sell a bit of physical touching here and there, fans will jump on it like rabid dogs which... is kinda stupid because, y’know, we have eyes (and standards) too.

So obviously, with the unprecedented popularity that came with the release of The Untamed, even more producers are starting to see the potential of danmei (BL) novels and with it came an onslaught of IP rights being bought and adapted. The list is pretty extensive, with some big names that I’m sure anyone who’s even slightly in the Chinese BL novel community has heard of before. Of course, included in that list, with the casting for the leads done and filming underway, is 2HA.

Quick overview of the story for those of you that don’t know: the story is set in the POV of the “gong” (top), a character named Mo Ran (also known as Mo Weiyu) who is the disciple of Chu Wanning, the “shou” (bottom) of our story. In his original life, Mo Ran had become the Emperor of the cultivation world through slaughter and tyranny, with the only one ever coming close to stopping him being his shizun, Chu Wanning, who eventually lost his life trying to stop him. After achieving the top by committing pretty much all crimes and sins known to men, weary and tired, Mo Ran decides to take his own life and ends it all. Unexpectedly, instead of dying and going to Hell, he transmigrated to the first year he became a disciple. As a thirty-something man in the body of a teen, he decides to do things right this time around and save the one he couldn’t save the first time around. As he goes through life a second time, truth after truths reveal themselves, with the biggest surprise being that the Shizun he hated so much in his previous life, and who Mo Ran thought hated/scorned him, actually turned out to be protecting him the entire time. 

Mo Ran, in his past life, was powerful, cruel, merciless and arrogant. There was nothing he could not obtain and he knew it. He was cynical, had a very jaded view of the world and was kind of unstable (lots of mood swings and temper tantrums). After his rebirth, he still maintained some of the arrogance and cynicism, but is more mischievous, confident and cheeky. He is very much like a husky, looks kind of scary and big, but can be extremely loyal to the ones he recognizes and can be a bit dumb sometimes. Chu Wanning on the other hand, is an unflappable person with a frost-like exterior, but a heart of gold. Basically, he cares a lot but it’s easier for him to look like he doesn’t than to voice his feelings. He gets embarrassed easily and covers his embarrassment using anger. He is extremely strong, likes peace and quiet, and always abides by the rules. 

Their relationship is kind of complicated. Initially, Mo Ran was in love with a fellow disciple called Shi Mei (despite the word meaning junior female disciple in Chinese, it’s actually the name of a male character). In the original timeline, Shi Mei died and that was the start of Mo Ran’s decline. After his rebirth, Mo Ran decides that he will do everything in his power to prevent Shi Mei from dying again. Don’t be mistaken though, Shi Mei is NOT the male lead. You’ll see as you read more that despite being in love with Shi Mei, Mo Ran is pretty obsessed with Chu Wanning because their relationship was kind of... complicated in the original timeline.

This is pretty much the premise for the story, but do be warned that it goes much deeper and darker than what you might expect (it’s rated R-18 for a reason). So why exactly am I writing all of this? To put it simply, I just kind of want to hype up the series and its adaptation a little, or at least, pique enough interest to give the live action adaptation a chance. Not gonna lie, when I heard 2HA was getting adapted, I was pretty skeptical because how. Mo Ran and Chu Wanning had a pretty physical relationship in the pre-rebirth timeline and that’s partially where the obsession that Mo Ran feels towards Chu Wanning stems from. There’s just basically a lot of unresolved sexual tension between them throughout the novel that I simply couldn’t see getting adapted. However, after thinking about it and reevaluating things from a low-expectations-standpoint, I think it might actually be possible to film something close enough to the original work. Here are some of the factors that influenced my opinion:

First, the series is set to air for 50 episodes (just like The Untamed). Why is the number of episodes important? Because it will determine how closely the adaptation will follow the original story and how much random stuff they can fit into it. Let’s take a step back and evaluate: 2HA’s novel has 311 chapters + extras while MDZS has 113 + extras. Obviously, people might have an issue with the number of episodes (”How are you going to air the same amount of episodes for a series that’s thrice as long??”) but I think it’s a good amount. Why? Because it pretty much guarantees a solid pacing that’ll keep the story moving forward without stagnating. I don’t think there is too much to worry in terms of too much source material being cut because quite a few chapters are R-18/romantic lining scenes that would not have gotten adapted anyways. Once those get deleted, I think 50 episodes is an acceptable amount.

Second, the entire production seems to be solid. The rights were actually bought by Tencent who, if you forgot, was also responsible for The Untamed. With prior success, I believe that they now have a pretty solid idea of how things should be run. Also, the CGI and world-design team is the same one as for Ashes of Love, which has me pretty stoked because while CG in chinese dramas has always been a hit or miss, Ashes of Love is definitely amongst some of the best I’ve seen (see below for examples). (P.S. there are also rumours that Lin Hai, the one responsible for The Untamed’s OST, might be working on 2HA but this is mere speculation at this point.) Overall, 2HA is looking to be like the most high-profile and expensive BL adaption yet.

Third and finally, the casting.

Holy.

Okay.

This is what has me the most hyped. 

Let’s start with Shi Mei, who will be portrayed by actress Chen Yao (or Sebrina Chen).

I know I’ve said that despite the name, Shi Mei is a male. As it turns out, likely for censorship reasons, “Immortality” could not escape from the clutches of the dreaded sex change so they went ahead and turned him into a girl. While not ideal, in my opinion, it actually works out pretty nicely here. In this case, it means that Mo Ran is in love with a female character which would further draw censorship’s attention away from the fact that Mo Ran really has a thing for his beautiful shizun. While it would have been perfect if everything could go according to source material, the fact that it’s Shi Mei that went through a sex change actually works pretty favourably in the grand scheme of things. Not to mention the actress set to play Shi Mei has some good experience acting similar roles so overall, I say that I trust her.

Next, we have Chu Wanning who will be played by Luo Yunxi (or Leo Luo).

For this character, I have no worries whatsoever. If you’re unfamiliar with this actor, I highly recommend you give Ashes of Love a try. He played the 2nd lead and ugh. He’s so good at playing beautiful and elegant characters that are forced to undergo a ton of suffering and pain. Luo Yunxi used to be a professional ballet dancer so he moves with grace and his fight scenes are amazing to watch. Also, he has great control over his facial expressions. He’s able to act out characters that suffer a lot without making them seem weak or powerless. Even the way he cries can be considered both beautiful and heartbreaking.

Finally, we have Mo Ran who will be portrayed by Chen Feiyu (or Arthur Chen).

Mo Ran is an extremely complex character. From pre-rebirth’s insanity and arrogance, to post-rebirth’s hope and reservation, to post-revelation’s love and devotion, the actor’s going to have a lot on his plate. Originally, when I first googled him, I thought that while he’d manage to pull off post-rebirth teen!Mo Ran fairly well given how clean and refreshing his face looks, he’d have a harder time pulling off pre-rebirth’s arrogance, craziness and general “hardness”. However, after seeing some costume designs and makeup edits, I think that the boy might just pull it off. Also, while the actor is nowhere near as solid as Luo Yunxi is, it seems that he’s willing to put in extra time and effort (as seen by his Weibo post about how he’d been studying the source material) to make up for it. I think that with enough dedication, he might just be able to pull it off.

(Psssst! By the way, keeping this strictly between you and me, another reason why I’m such a fan of this pair is because of the height difference. I mean just look at this?? Their height difference is pretty much bang on with the novel height difference after Mo Ran grew past Chu Wanning’s height. Not to mention, don’t tell me you see this and don’t automatically picture a the big dorky puppy following his reserved and cool master around?)

So yeah, all of this just to say that it might be okay to kind of have some expectations for 2HA. I really want to keep my own expectations down as low as possible given the amount of times we’ve been burned but I want to remain hopeful that, with the success of The Untamed, it can pave the way for better and more faithful danmei adaptations, with 2HA being one of them.

[calligraphist-artemisia]

Finding Courage

Written for the Kidge Spring Event! 

Prompt 6: Edelweiss | Courage, Devotion

Summary: AU - Canon Divergence. Five years after the end of the war, Pidge finds herself wanting to go back out and see the universe with her own eyes. Luckily, she knows someone who can help with that, but only if she can find the courage to ask.

Also posted on AO3 under the username Kishirokitsune

❀ - ❀ - ❀ - ❀ - ❀

The time had come.

Pidge looked in the mirror as she ran her hands down the sides of her shirt, trying to smooth out the few wrinkles that had accumulated. She wanted to look nice, but not too nice. Lance and Hunk would notice if she was trying too hard and they would poke and prod until they were satisfied with the answer she gave, and that wasn't something she really wanted to deal with. (Shiro was likely to notice as well but at least he would be polite enough to keep it to himself.)  

Which was why she'd selected a pair of jeans, her signature green shirt (at least according to Lance), and her nicer lab coat that didn't have oil stains all over it. And while for most of their Team Voltron get-togethers she would forgo the lab coat for something nicer, she had plans to drop by the hangar where Project Lionheart was in the works to grab a few things from the lab she shared with Matt.

Text appeared at the bottom of her glasses.

Matt: I leave in 10 minutes if you want a ride.

Pidge pressed her finger to the right side of her frames. “Send message: I'll be down soon.”

Her new glasses were a labor of love that were nearly five years in the making. She'd spent countless nights trying to link it to her computer and then to get the voice recognition to work and then to devise a lightweight battery that would both hold a charge for a minimum of twelve hours while also having the capability of being wirelessly recharged. She'd wrangled Matt and Hunk into helping her, which sometimes involved 2 am conversations when she couldn't sleep because an idea wouldn't leave her alone, but she needed someone's brain to pick and see if she was crazy or on the right track.

She still had a hundred new ideas to try out for it, but for the moment it was the perfect way for her family to contact her when she was eyeballs deep in some new project. (Not to mention, it was also remarkably helpful in displaying measurements and any other schematics when she needed them.)

Pidge slung her bag containing her laptop over her shoulder and then headed downstairs to join Matt and tell her parents they were headed out.

Colleen pulled her in for a tight hug, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears. “I'm so proud of you!”

“Mom, I haven't even asked him yet,” Pidge complained, her voice muffled against her mom's shirt.

“Oh, please, like he's going to say 'no'?” Matt remarked from the doorway. He grinned at the glare his sister cast in his direction. “I'm just saying that I talk to Shiro a lot. And you know who else talks to Shiro? Keith does. Trust me, he'll be tripping over himself to agree to let you join him.”

Pidge rolled her eyes. The very idea of Keith being anything other than composed and unshakable by something she had to say was silly. Maybe it would have been different when they were younger and just starting out as Team Voltron, but not after all of their experiences during the war and throughout Reconstruction.

“You're all getting way ahead of yourselves,” Pidge said as she extricated herself from her mom's arms. “And making way too big of a deal out of this. All I'm doing is asking if I can go with him and help with the Outreach Program.”

With Kolivan serving as the interim Emperor of the Galra until he either stepped down or Reconstruction reached its ten-year mark, it had fallen on Krolia to lead the weakened, but not fully depleted, Blade of Marmora. She split the Blade into two separate but equal groups – one to continue their undercover work and root out any insurgents before they could cause too much trouble and the other a much more public branch dedicated to reaching out to affected planets and offering aid in whatever way they could.

Pidge, who felt like she was stagnating by staying on Earth and doing the same thing day in and day out, thought that going back out and seeing the universe with her own eyes was exactly what she needed. And sure, she could ask Hunk if she could tag along with his crew and he would gladly welcome her on board, but she wasn't sure she'd really find what she was looking for on a ship devoted to the culinary arts of the universe. Pidge had thought about it for a long time and, in the end, came to the conclusion that asking Keith was the way to go.

That was months ago and she'd seen him twice since then. She'd chickened out both of those times.

Because maybe she had a second motive for wanting to go with him. Something beyond wanting to explore the universe and even more of a... personal desire.

“Leaving already?” Sam asked, poking his head into the entrance hall.

Matt nodded. “Yeah, I have a few things to check on in the lab and Pidge wants to get to her meeting on time, so I figured we should head out.”

Pidge and Matt wrapped up their goodbyes and then set off to the Galaxy Garrison, where Matt dropped her off close to the Voltron Memorial before continuing on his way to the parking garage. Pidge watched him leave before she began making her way up the gleaming white stairs, which led to the top of a hill where a massive stone sculpture of Voltron stood watching over the land.

Normally the area was crawling with tourists, but once a year it was reserved for a group of 7 as they celebrated the day they first met.

As Pidge reached the top of the steps, she saw most of her friends were already there and seated at a round patio table. Shiro was smiling as he listened to whatever story Lance was enthusiastically telling, while Hunk leaned back and occasionally interjected.  Lance paused his story as she approached.

“You're on time!”

“Like you haven't been late a time or two,” Pidge shot defensively shot back. Seriously, she was late once or twice (or a lot) because she got wrapped up in something she was working for and the man would never let her forget it.

Lance grinned at her. “I was just telling Shiro and Hunk about the time you came out to visit the farm.”

“A memory I'd rather forget,” Pidge said with a wince. She sat down between Hunk and Shiro and gently set her bag down on the floor at her feet. “Where's everyone else? I figured Allura and Coran would have come with you, Lance.”

“Dropping the twins off with Romelle. She agreed to babysit,” Lance responded.

“Even after last time? Brave woman,” Hunk joked.

Pidge couldn't help but smile. The twins were Lance and Allura's 3-year-old children, Alfor and Maribel, and were a handful even for the most experienced and patient people. Romelle was practically a saint for being able to watch them on her own and Pidge wished she could know how she did it. (Maybe then she wouldn't end up covered in mud or running from bees or locked in the attic, all of which had happened during her first and last visit to the farm and was undoubtedly the story Lance was telling when she walked up.)

“You could have brought them along. I would love to see Alfor and Maribel again,” Shiro said.

Lance shook his head. “No, trust me. This is the better option. If we take our eyes off of them for even a second they'll have climbed to the top of the Voltron statue. Somehow. And good luck getting them down.”

Shiro made a sound to indicate his disbelief. “They're not that bad.”

“Yes, they are,” Lance and Pidge deadpanned in unison.

And honestly, they were sweet kids, but the amount of trouble they could get into was staggering and, in some ways, only reinforced Pidge's feelings that she never wanted to have any of her own.

Lance soon launched into a series of stories of the more interesting antics of the twins, which Allura and Coran backed up once they arrived. Pidge found herself laughing over some of the ones she hadn't heard before and because of that, she completely missed Keith's arrival via one very special cosmic wolf. He easily inserted himself into the conversation as he took a seat between Shiro and Coran – directly across from Pidge – and it was like he'd been there the whole time.

They soon branched off from stories about the twins so everyone could describe what they'd been up to since the last time all seven of them were together.

Lance and Allura, of course, had the kids and their farm on New Altea, which they ran with the help of Lance's family. In the beginning, Allura tried to split her time between them and trying to rule as Queen, but it eventually became too much and she turned to Coran for help, who suggested a council of trusted individuals to run the day-to-day duties that were necessary for the new planet to flourish. No one was surprised when he was elected Head Chancellor of the Council.

Even once things calmed down, Shiro retained his role as Captain of the Atlas, if only for the fact that he was the only one the ship responded to. The big, bulky ship didn't have much use outside of exploration and assisting with Reconstruction (sometimes by providing extra muscle for goods, sometimes just for transporting more sensitive or bulky materials), but Shiro spoke of his job and crew with pride. He even mentioned that he started seeing someone, though he wouldn't say who.

(“It's still new to both of us,” he said in response to Lance's begging. “We want to wait and see where things go before we start telling everyone.”)

Hunk had a myriad of new stories about all of the new recipes he created, as well as some of his worst failures. He had them all laughing so hard that it brought tears to their eyes at some of his descriptions. He then spoke of future plans and how he was looking to hire more chefs to help with the increased demand for their food before turning the conversation over to Keith.

“There isn't much to say,” Keith said with a shrug. “It's not like anything has changed since the last time we talked. You all know what I've been doing.”

“Are you really going to sit there and say that nothing interesting has happened to you? You're traveling with Zethrid and Ezor and yet you have no stories?” Lance asked incredulously. “Nope. I don't believe it.”

“You don't have to believe it, but it's true.”

Some things never change.

Pidge tried not to laugh as the two bickered. They only stopped because Shiro stepped in to put an end to it and then it was her turn to gloss over what she'd been working on. Project Lionheart was largely still a secret, though they'd be ready to announce its existence in a few months.

Hours bled together as the seven friends sat and talked and laughed together. Eventually, the sun began to set and Allura and Lance stood to say their goodbyes and go collect the twins from Romelle. Shiro followed soon after, giving the excuse that he had a “hot date” to get ready for, and then Coran and Hunk left together, talking about food supply and whether or not Hunk was willing to make a stop by New Altea during his next round trip.

That left Pidge with Keith.

Alone.

With no one else around to watch her make a fool of herself.

“Are you alright?” Keith asked.

Pidge jerked her head up to stare at him with wide eyes. “Y-yeah, of course! Why wouldn't I be? Everything's great!”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “You've been more quiet than usual.”

Pidge opened her mouth to protest and then immediately shut it. He wasn't wrong. She'd spent most of the afternoon trying not to blurt out her question in the middle of someone else talking and she was dying to get it over with. Finally, they were alone and it was the perfect chance, but everything she wanted to say had suddenly fled her mind.

It was ridiculous!

Keith was her friend!

Her rather handsome friend who she'd developed a large crush on, but her friend nevertheless. Talking to him was easy. She just needed to keep it simple.

“I was wondering... If I asked to go with you the next time you head out, what would you say?”

She watched as Keith sucked in a breath as her words registered in his mind, his eyes widening slightly, and then...

“I'd say that I'd be lucky to have you by my side. You're welcome to come along whenever you'd like.”

[delos-mio]

Death of a Bachelor - EPILOGUE

“Fuck, we’re so late!” you sighed as Charles pressed the elevator button for the 15th floor of the downtown high-rise. This photoshoot and interview had been on the books pretty much as soon as you and Logan got back from your honeymoon, so really, there was no good reason to be running this far behind. But, you’d been held up at the hotel putting out small fires that didn’t stop just because you were away from the office.

“Sorry! I know, I know. I don’t know why Cole can’t figure out how to convert anything to a fucking PDF.” Charles had been promoted to office manager and had been doing a spectacular job. You always knew he would be, but when it was finally time to add on those additional responsibilities, he took them on effortlessly. He did still enjoy moonlighting as your personal assistant, even though technically you had hired someone new to do that job. Now when he helped you out, it was as a devoted friend as opposed to paid employee.

“Just…just talk to him tomorrow, please?” you asked, the elevator pinging and doors opening.

“Don’t worry- you can consider it done.”

Your heels clicked on the tile floor as you made your way to the receptionist’s desk. The Forbes HQ was sleek and screamed “wealth”, which you were used to at this point. As you got closer, the curly haired woman stood up from her seat with a bright smile and rounded the desk to greet you.

“Mrs. Delos! We’re so excited to have you here!” She took your hand and gave it a shake.

“Thank you, happy to be here,” you replied, dropping her hand. “But, I actually kept my own last name,” you corrected gently. It was an honest mistake and one that happened often. You’d perfected the polite correction over the last couple months.

“I am SO sorry,” she said with genuine embarrassment. “Truly, I didn’t mean—”

“It’s really ok, dear. It happens all the time.” You waved her off quickly and reassured her it was just fine. “Besides, there are a lot worse things to be called than a Delos, right?” The smile finally returned to her face.

“You’re right about that,” she laughed and visibly let out a breath. “Here, follow me. The rest of your group is just through here.”

You followed her down a hall with double doors at the end. Just as she was about to usher you in, you heard your favorite laugh in the whole wide world. There Logan was, laughing at something Elliot had said, head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut. You loved it when he let go like that and just enjoyed himself and his company. He was handsome all the time, but he was absolutely breathtaking when he was happy. Logan must have heard the door shut behind you as he opened his eyes and turned to you, a grin plastered on his face. He held out his hand to you, which you were all too happy to take.

“Hey,” you whispered just to him.

“Hi,” Logan breathed back before placing his palm on the small of your back and kissing you with a smile still on his lips. “Glad you made it.”

“I was always going to make it,” you huffed, shoving his shoulder gently. “Sorry for being late.”

“I’m a patient man,” he shrugged.

“No, you’re not,” you laughed and he broke into a grin. “You look extra handsome.”

“Thank you, princess. You look entirely fuckable yourself,” he said in a low voice just for you, his hand wandering down your backside.

“Ugh, ok, enough,” Juliet said with a roll of her eyes. “Can we get this show on the road?”

With that, the photographer came over and started arranging everyone in front of the windows with the New York skyline in the background. Elliot and Emily were directed to stand together back toward the window, Charles placed just next to them. Juliet stood near the middle with John by her side. Finally, the photographer had you stand on Logan’s left side, the two of you front and center. Without prompting, Logan wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you in close, kissing your temple.

“Can you…sorry. Forbes is looking for more…professional shots…” The photographer attempted to interrupt, but Logan kept his arm around you, only glancing in his direction.

“So, I’m not allowed to kiss my wife?” Wife. You still loved hearing the word fall from his lips.

“I…” the photographer drawled, clearly uncomfortable and unsure how to answer.

“I’m fucking with you. We can behave for an hour, can’t we?” Logan asked you, arching an eyebrow.

“I can. Jury’s still out on you,” you winked. You heard Logan groan that desperate little sound he liked to make in the back of his throat and ignored him, turning to the lens as the camera clicked.

The photo shoot was light and fun. You weren’t really sure what to expect since your experience being professionally photographed was extremely limited. But, Logan was a seasoned pro and never let you out of his grip, quietly encouraging you and fawning as picture after picture was snapped.

“Alright, I think we got what we need. You all did great,” the photographer smiled and set his camera down. “I think Carmen is set up in the other room whenever you’re ready.”

“Have you guys already talked to her?” you asked Emily.

“Yeah, she grabbed all of us before you and Chuck came. I think she’s doing his interview last.”

“Sounds good. How was it? Is she nice?” you asked, nervously thumbing the band on your ring finger, a new habit you’d picked up.

“She was pretty cool, actually,” Elliot shrugged.

“Mostly asked about you two,” John smirked. “Y’know, making sure you’re treating us good and all that.”

“Whatever,” Logan laughed. “You ready, babe?” You nodded and he draped his arm over your shoulder, ushering you into the small side room where a Forbes journalist sat.

“Mr. and Mrs. Delos! Very nice to meet you! I’m Carmen.” She introduced herself and shook your and your husband’s hands.

“Thank you for having us. However, my wife has kept her last name,” Logan said with a charming smile.

“Of course, of course. My apologies. A modern woman- I love it!” Carmen chirped before gesturing you both to take a seat. Logan waited for you to settle in, smooth down the top of your pencil skirt, before taking his seat next to you and placing his arm around you along the back of the couch.

“So, some congratulations are in order! First, congrats on Delos being named one of the Most Innovative Companies. That’s quite an accomplishment for your first year of ownership.”

“Thank you,” Logan said with a small nod.

“Second, congrats on your recent nuptials! Tech’s most eligible bachelor is officially off the market,” Carmen laughed. “Tell me a little bit about your wedding before we get into the meat and potatoes.”

“Well,” you started, “We started planning a kind of big wedding, something that we thought weddings usually looked like. But a couple months into making arrangements, we decided that it wasn’t for us and everything we’d been planning just wasn’t what we wanted. So, we rounded up everyone who was in that photoshoot with us and eloped in Fiji.”

“Wow, that’s quite a 180. And Fiji, that must have been beautiful!” Carmen beamed, clearly caught up in the whimsy of just fucking off impulsively to another country and getting married.

“They’re our family and at the end of the day, everyone else we planned on inviting was just decoration. It was nice just to have the people who mattered there with us,” Logan said, looking at you with a soft smile. “I only cared that my wife walked down to meet me at the end of that isle. Whatever else she did or didn’t want on that day was good with me.”

“That’s so sweet,” Carmen cooed. “Well, I’m very happy for you and marriage looks good on you both.” She took a moment to turn on the recording function on her phone and organize her notes. “So, once you got home, walk me through what happened at Delos. There has obviously been a lot of speculation between the change in ownership, the pivot to Virtual Reality, and the acquisition of other businesses.”

“As you know, John and I bought Delos last year from my father. In that last year, we more or less gutted the whole thing and started new. We kept on Juliet, obviously, and my secretary and that was it. Everyone else was let go. We made sure to bring in talent that was new and fresh and rallied around building Delos back up. My father liked people who said yes to him, and that led to a lot of stagnation both in new ideas and growth for the business. John and I didn’t want that. We wanted to make Delos our own.” Logan had that proud, serious look in his eyes that made you clamp your thighs together just a little bit tighter. “Our vision of the future of Delos required a clean house and staff who were excited and innovative.”

“That’s a bold move. What empowered you to take such a big leap?” Carmen asked.

“Is it corny if I say the woman sitting next to me?” Logan chuckled.

“Oh Christ, stop,” you laughed.

“I mean it though!” Logan looked over at you fondly, his gaze soft before turning back to Carmen. “She has pushed me since the first day we met. And she’s supported me unconditionally all this time. I don’t think I’d have the courage to do half of what we’ve accomplished if I didn’t know I had her behind me.”

“The thing about Logan is that he’s incredibly driven. If he wants to accomplish something, he puts his mind to it and he does it. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” You squeezed above his knee, feeling an incredible swell of pride in your chest. He really had some so far and worked so, so hard in the years you’d been together. It was hard not to feel proud and keep the tears from your eyes. Logan must have sensed what was going through your head because he leaned over to press a quick kiss to your temple, just something light to ground you, remind you he had your back too.

“Once John and I had cleared everyone out, that left us with four employees. Which wasn’t going to work, clearly. But lucky for me, my beautiful wife is also an entrepreneur,” Logan smiled.

“Yes. I’d owned my own marketing firm and really, it just made sense at that point kind of merge the two companies.” You nodded.

“We brought marketing in house and took on her staff and bought her business in exchange for ownership shares. Now, Delos is a three owner operation,” Logan grinned. It was important to both of you that you not work for Logan, but rather with him. “Her old assistant became our office manager and is now in charge of day-to-day operations. My sister and brother in law, Emily and Elliot, moved out to LA from Milwaukee and headed up talent management and recruiting. They helped us fill in the other vacancies left.”

“So, it really is a family affair, huh?” Carmen asked, looking between the two of you.

“I think we’ve both learned how important it is to keep a tight circle of people you can trust. These are people we’ve known our entire lives, that are the very best at what they do, and are unwaveringly loyal.” You looked at Logan, who nodded in agreement. “Saying ‘yes’ to everything and being loyal aren’t the same thing. And I think that’s something that previous ownership never understood.”

“Damn right,” Logan affirmed with a crooked smile, his eyes still trained on you.

“I think ‘power couple’ doesn’t even come close to describing you two! It’s been amazing as someone who watches the market and businesses to see Delos rise from the ashes into this juggernaut that it is today.” Carmen seemed genuinely impressed and a bit enamored by you and Logan.

“It was a lot of long nights and hard work. But we like to think it’s been worth it, right?” You asked Logan.

“It’s all been worth it. Everything.”

---

About a month later, you were curled up on the couch, totally zoning out as an episode of Real Housewives of Potomac played. Sleep was weighing heavy on your eyelids when the front door opened and shut again. Finally, Logan was home which meant you now had your favorite pillow to fall asleep on. You listened to him set down his keys, hang up his jacket in the closet, and grab himself a San Pellegrino before wandering into the living room.

“Happy you’re home,” you said with a sleepy smile, reaching out your arms to beckon him over.  

“Happy to be home,” Logan laughed and took his normal spot in the corner, legs sprawled out on the chaise, and quickly scooped you into his arms. You settled in his lap and gave him a kiss hello, an I missed you kiss, an I’m so happy to see you kiss. “Got a surprise for you,” he murmured against your lips.

“Yeah?” you asked, running your fingers through his dark hair. From over the side of the couch, he pulled out a copy of the newest Forbes magazine with a proud flourish. “Oh lord.”

“Page 71,” he directed, handing it over to you. And sure enough, there you two were, front and center, with every important member of your team, and family, behind you. There was something uncomfortable about seeing your own face on a glossy page, but the picture really was nice of the whole group. Logan radiated confidence and power, his arm securely around you in a way that said I wish you would try to fuck with us.

“It sure is…published,” you laughed.

“You look so fucking beautiful. I can’t wait to get this blown up and hang it in the lobby,” he mused, looking over your shoulder at the write up.

“For real?”

“I think it’s a great picture! It should be the first thing anyone sees when they come in the office, don’t you think?” Logan placed a tender kiss on your shoulder.

“I suppose.” You still weren’t entirely convinced, but it was also impossible for you to say no to Logan. You handed the open magazine back to him and let your head rest against his shoulder. “Read it to me?”

“Of course, princess,” he chuckled and raised the article into his line of sight, starting in on the story you knew and lived. Your eyes slipped shut as you let the sound of Logan’s voice and his heartbeat comfort you and lull you into a peaceful sleep.

TAGGED: @marvelcapsicle​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @something-tofightfor​ @songtoyou​ @its-my-little-dumpster-fire​ @abroadcastofthemind​ @gollyderek​ @dylanobrusso​ @marauderskeeper​

[makeste]

obstacles do not block the path

they are the path.

or something. it’s a zen proverb. anyway, so this is yet another post about Bakugou potentially losing his quirk. I’m gonna try to articulate it a little better this time. rather than just explaining why I think it’s likely to happen, I tried to explain why I think this specific and as-yet-still-hypothetical character decision is a very deliberate and purposeful one. in other words, this isn’t my argument for why it will happen; this is a post about why it should happen.

to start, there are two Horikoshi interviews which I want to quote here, and the reason I’m quoting them is because they do a good job of summing up the dual nature of the hero model that BnHA is built on. I’ll start with the longer quote, which is Horikoshi’s answer to the question, “so Sensei, what heroes do you like?”

[It would] probably have to be Goku and Spider-Man. To me, when mentioning heroes, these two are the ones that I think of. In Goku’s case, it’s the reassurance that everything is going to be fine which he brings when arriving. Such as, on Namek, Goku was getting healed, and his friends were all beaten badly. When Goku finally recovered and walked out of the healing machine, that reassurance right there is what I’m talking about. Something like “Ah, everything is going to be fine”. When I first read it and saw it was really Goku who had arrived, I continued reading thinking the thought “gonna win”. (laughs) That reassurance is something that all of the other characters don’t have. I thought about it afterwards, and even though there are a variety of heroes, the hero model that is built up in my mind is built around the concept that the hero is somebody that brings reassurance. That’s why I think a hero to me is somebody that helps and brings reassurance to others.

In Spider-Man’s case, the first experience I had with this character was the movie, in which there were a lot of scenes with him rescuing people, which I felt that was really cool. The moment he “saves somebody” is really awesome. Well, in Goku’s case, it’s because he likes fighting that he fights, so that’s a bit different. (laughs) You can say that Spider-Man and Goku are two different aspects of being a hero.

I’m sure you all can figure out just who Goku and Spider-Man each represent in respect to our beloved series.

as for the second Horikoshi quote, this one is much shorter. just a single line, actually, in regards to the development of Bakugou’s character:

I also thought to have [Bakugou] and Deku improve on two separate vectors as they entered U.A.

that’s it. just a single sentence lol. except that this one sentence can basically be used to sum up the entirety of Bakugou’s character development throughout the series, and it also serves as a roadmap as to what I think might happen next.

let’s start with the very first line in the series.

this sets the stage for everything that happens next. it establishes who these characters are right from the get-go. we see the hierarchy of quirk society, and we see two children born on polar opposites of the spectrum. Izuku, who was born quirkless, who exists at the bottom of the food chain. and Katsuki, born with a powerful quirk and the natural talent to back it up, who sits comfortably at the very top of the pyramid. two children who, from a very young age, are set up to walk completely different paths in life.

and yet the curious thing is, their goals are the same.

they both want to be like All Might. interestingly, though, they look up to him for different reasons. each boy admires All Might for what they see of themselves in him. Izuku sees a hero who protects others and works to save them no matter what. and Katsuki sees a champion who never gives up and who always emerges victorious.

and what the story eventually goes on to explain is that these are two halves of the same hero. Spider-Man, who rescues people and brings them hope. and Goku, who always wins no matter what, and by doing so brings reassurance to others. these two aspects together make up the perfect, consummate hero which both Izuku and Katsuki aspire to be. and the story is about how they get there.

but it’s that how that’s really where things begin to get interesting. because as previously mentioned, Katsuki and Izuku each start out their respective journeys in very different places. their origins, their “starting lines” as the series sometimes puts it, are polar opposites of one another, and yet they both are heading for the same goal. they want the same thing, but to get there, they each have to journey from a different place.

and what that means is that right from the start, it was impossible for Izuku and Katsuki’s journeys to be the same. more than that, they’re not just different journeys, they’re the opposite journeys. if you start from two opposing ends of a path facing towards the same goal, the only way for you to reach that goal is by traveling in the exact opposite direction as the other person. as an illustration of this, please accept this visual aid which I drew with love:

eh. eh.

so let’s continue to retrace each of their paths as the story progresses. we’ll start with Izuku first. his story begins when he receives One for All, a quirk that allows him to compete with other would-be heroes on equal ground for the first time. by this point he has already learned inner strength and compassion and selflessness. he already cares deeply about others. and so his trajectory now veers towards him learning what it means to be a champion. learning the things that Katsuki already knows.

and Izuku makes a lot of mistakes when he first starts out. he is too selfless. he rushes in to save others without sparing any thought for himself, resulting in repeated instances of him getting in over his head and getting injured and taking himself out of the fight. he almost gets himself expelled for this on the very first day of hero school, and Aizawa’s very first order of business is to chew him out over how irresponsible he is.

we see Izuku struggle to learn how to inspire others and be a leader, traits which happen to come to Katsuki naturally. Katsuki instinctively smiles when he’s up against a wall. he inspires others without even trying -- inspires them even in spite of his abrasive personality. but these are things which don’t come naturally to Izuku. Izuku is more inclined to follow than lead, because he doesn’t feel compelled to put himself in the spotlight, and because he is cooperative and will defer to others who are more aggressive about putting themselves in the leader role. Izuku doesn’t do the whole hero grin thing naturally, either; this is something he has to be coached on and consciously think about, and his early efforts are a bit hit-or-miss.

Izuku is more focused on saving people, and sometimes misses the fact that in order to do so, sometimes the best course of action is to just straight up beat the shit out of the bad guy(s). he learns this over the course of the series, and we see him doing the never-give-up thing against Muscular, and Overhaul, and Gentle. and Izuku’s selfless nature almost causes him to give up OFA to Mirio because he sees him as being more worthy; Mirio has to talk him out of it in order to stop him. in short, Izuku’s arc is all about him gradually learning confidence and becoming a badass.

now contrast this against Katsuki’s arc, which has the opposite trajectory. Katsuki starts out as someone who is already strong and confident. he is hard-working and driven and dedicated to his own self-improvement. he’s a prodigy when it comes to battle, and his determination to succeed inspires others to challenge and push themselves in order to keep up with him. 

he is a natural leader, and a terrible follower. and he completely overlooks the “saving people” aspect of being a hero in favor of the “kicking ass” part.

so now here’s the interesting thing. Izuku’s growth comes from achieving new things and gaining new abilities and skills. his growth comes from experiencing victory and success. but Katsuki’s growth takes the exact opposite path. as someone who has experienced success his entire life, Katsuki’s first steps toward progress only come once he starts experiencing failure for the very first time. it might seem counterintuitive, but his breakthroughs only come after he experiences setbacks. because just like Izuku needed to experience victory in order to grow, Katsuki needed to experience loss. just as Izuku needed to grow stronger, Katsuki needed to learn what it was like to experience weakness. without that understanding, his growth would have stagnated.

so from a certain perspective, the story’s treatment of Katsuki vs Izuku might not seem fair. Izuku constantly receives help while Katsuki only faces hindrances. Izuku’s strength only ever seems to increase, while Katsuki is repeatedly confronted by his own limitations. he’s attacked by villains. he’s kidnapped. he blames himself for his hero’s downfall. etc. etc. etc.

but the reason why Horikoshi keeps putting him through all these situations is because in order to have someone grow as a character, you need to have them slowly overcome their flaws. and it just so happens that Izuku and Katsuki’s flaws are the exact opposites of each other’s. and so when you think about it, it only makes sense that in order for them to develop, they’re going to need to take opposite routes. “what they lack” is completely different. and thus “what they need to gain” will also be completely different. this is something which has been very plainly laid out from the earliest chapters of the series...

...and which has been hammered into our heads over and over again ever since.

anyway! enough of my long-winded rambling. you get the point! Katsuki and Izuku have the same goal but are approaching it from opposite sides. just as they are mirrors of each other, so are their arcs mirrors of each other’s arcs. they balance each other out.

but now I’m going to add on a bit more to that, though, so just hear me out. yes, it’s very good and wonderful that they can do this. their strengths complement each other’s flaws; their weaknesses offset. the two of them can and will one day be unstoppable together, and all of that is cool and great and epic.

but it’s also limiting to think of the two of them solely in these kinds of terms; as half-formed individuals who can only be complete and whole when they’re by each other’s side. they are each still their own person as well! and in order for them to achieve this same kind of balance within themselves, they can’t just simply meet in the middle and be done with it. both of them need to continue to walk down their respective paths and experience each other’s side, not just their own. here, let me just break it down:

Deku: starts out quirkless -> learns humility and compassion and how to put others before himself -> gets a quirk -> learns how to be strong and win and inspire courage in others -> becomes a hero that both wins and saves.

Kacchan: starts out with a good quirk -> learns how to be strong and win and inspire courage in others -> ??? -> learns humility and compassion and how to put others before himself -> becomes a hero that both saves and wins.

ah. and now we finally get to our actual fucking point lol.

do you see?? they are perfect mirrors of each other, except for one critical juncture. Izuku grew up on Rescue Road, but the entrance to Beating Villains Boulevard was always barricaded off. until one day he finally got a quirk, and so was permitted entry. meanwhile, Katsuki has lived on BV Blvd his entire life, and until very recently he never even knew there was a Rescue Rd. and now that he finally does know, he’s been working very hard to get there, and has made many detours all over Plot Parkway, and has finally reached the point where he’s at least able to see the road that leads where he needs to go. but he still hasn’t gotten there yet. for him it’s still barricaded off in the same way that his road was once barricaded off to Izuku.

and there are other ways for him to gain access to this road. ways which involve far less pain and suffering, tbh! but the problem is, he’s never been the type of boy who has the patience for any of those other roads. he can’t be bothered to take the scenic route there. he’s in a rush. and so he keeps on trying to force his way past the barricade using brute strength and whatever other means he can think of, perhaps even trying to use the toll pass he got back on his own street (stay with me, metaphor; we’re in this till the bitter end now), thinking that if it worked over there, it should work for him here too. but it doesn’t. and the longer he keeps pressing up against this barricade, the more frustrated he becomes.

and meanwhile Izuku has already made himself at home over on Katsuki’s own street. and so that sure is annoying! except it turns out that by watching Izuku very closely, Katsuki can sort of get an idea of how they do things over on Izuku’s old street, just like Izuku once observed Katsuki and admired him as the closest he could get to being on BV Blvd himself. so at least that’s something. and the more Katsuki does observe and imitate him, the more he’s actually able to do a passing impression of a true Rescue Rd native. and maybe eventually he even starts thinking to himself, I don’t really need to go down this stupid road anyway, even though deep down he knows that the only route through to All Might Avenue is through that road. and also though, the other thing is that seeing as he’s only ever lived on his own street, he still thinks, even now, that his street is objectively the better of the two and the more important.

but that’s not how it works. the plain fact of the matter is that in order to get to All Might Ave you need to pass through both roads. if it was just Hero Highway that they were trying to reach? well then sure! that one’s easy. exit’s right over there. but they don’t want plain old Hero Highway. they want All Might Ave. they want to be the best heroes. they want to complete their respective character journeys. and to do that, Kacchan needs to find what he lacks. and to do that, he needs to gain access to this road.

so what I’m trying to say here is that because of who Katsuki is, and because of what his goal is, the surest and most logical way to complete his character arc is by bringing it around full circle as a mirror to Izuku’s. in order to fulfill his goal of becoming the best hero, Katsuki has to lose his quirk. it’s symmetry. it’s yin and yang. it’s equilibrium. in order to move forward he must first go back. in order to win, he has to lose. for him, this is the missing piece.

and just to clarify, because I feel like this needs to be said: this is not about “redemption through suffering”, though. it’s not “oh he deserves it for how he treated Izuku all those years ago.” and it’s not “let’s make the audience feel sorry for poor little Kacchan so that they feel more sympathetic towards him”, either. that’s not it at all! because the thing is, this isn’t about punishment; this is about fulfillment. this isn’t angst for the sake of angst. this is about placing a very deliberately and meticulously crafted obstacle in front of him for the purpose of forcing him to learn how to overcome it.

because he will overcome it. this is Bakugou fucking Katsuki. he is not fragile. he is not delicate or frail. and so for anyone who’s worried this might be a crushing mental blow? I think you just might be underestimating him.

that’s not to say it won’t be grueling for him, mind. losing his quirk would mean coming face to face with the very real possibility of losing his dream too. because society doesn’t believe that people without quirks can be heroes. Katsuki himself never believed that someone without a quirk could be a hero.

but you know who did believe that? because he had to believe it, growing up, because no one else believed in him?

yeah. that’s right.

you see, for Izuku, his own intrinsic worth isn’t inherently tied to his quirk, because growing up he never had a quirk. now contrast that with Katsuki, whose own sense of self-worth is completely wrapped up in his quirk, his strength, his natural talent. Katsuki, who grew up being told how amazing his quirk was, and believing that the hierarchy of the world around him meant that having a good quirk placed him above other who didn’t. and who consequently also grew up with a correspondingly huge fear of failure, because his sense of security and fulfillment is contingent on his being strong. and if that were ever to change, to him that would mean a total loss of everything he is, everything he’s ever known, and everything he is striving to be.

“lol I thought you just said this wouldn’t be the crushing blow for him”, and yeah, lol, fair enough. but this is also exactly why it’s so important for him to finally face this fear head on. because even though it frightens him, even though it would devastate him, I don’t think it would defeat him. rather, I think that once he came to terms with what had happened and accepted it, he would do what he always does. he would rise back up.

because in spite of what he has always feared, he isn’t weak. and so even though losing his quirk would be harrowing, I think that, if done right, it could also be liberating and even empowering. because it’s him facing his fears. it’s an obstacle to overcome for the sake of him realizing that he can overcome it. because him being quirkless is not, in fact, the end of the world.

because his strength isn’t in his quirk -- it’s in his spirit. exactly like the boy he once secretly feared. exactly the same as Izuku.

so yeah. that’s basically it. tl;dr Deku and Kacchan are on opposite vectors and Katsuki’s is becoming particularly hazardous to navigate at the moment, but what at first glance seems to be a potential death blow could in fact be the thing that finally propels him forward towards where he wants to go and who he truly wants to be. and I am here for it. I want my boy to find himself some enlightenment. and then to rise back up again like the badass he is.

[adorable-beautiful-lovers]

Thoughts on 18x09

Just a short little recap of my thoughts here because to be quite honest I don’t have a lot to say.

After 18x08 being Maria’s and therefore Jack Sloane’s send off we now get to see the team’s reactions. They really had to hit us hard right at the beginning, didn’t they? Ellie’s little comment about Gibbs having a broken heart. Yeah, good one. I loved the little messages and things to remember her by, everyone got even if we didn’t get to see all of them. The stapler, the massager, Karl- the fish. :) Don’t be to ungrateful Torres, if I were you, I would take care of that fish like my life depended on it. :))

Gibbs laughing whole heartly when Sloane stayed in Afghanistan? That’s new but I like it. Plus, we got a sweet smile when McGee asked him what Sloane left him.  Just all that to be destroyed by Fornell. I actually like this man but damn that was a low blow. Yes of course we want to leave for Costa Rica now after our friend told us that the woman he cares about, the woman that stayed in Afghanistan to help, wanted to leave to Costa Rica. I also think about the wonderful scenery Costa Rica has to offer while my friend is about to pour out his heart to you. Perfectly reasonable. I’m surprised he didn’t catch a fist after that statement and Gibbs was just pissed off as hell. Why would you ruin his mood like that? I mean for a script it was a great idea just not for my heart, you know! Oh and it stung a whole lot not having Jack standing behind that mirror watching interrogation. I don’t mind Kasie getting or taking, however you want to interpret that scene, the painting. Yes I would have loved to see something Gibbs related I’m not gonna lie but she would have never given it back to him. He gave it to her once and you don’t return gifts. It would be considered rude, at least to me. And this way he gets to see it everyday. So I’m happy. Also let’s not forget, he got to kiss her as a goodbye, I don’t think he would mind that much. :)

I don’t really have anything to say about the case it was pretty generic and lame but that’s okay. It wasn’t what was center stage this episode.

Just a few words about that ending. I don’t mind the fact that Emily died. Yes, it is sad and I would have loved for her to pull through but it is not the case for many people that suffer from addiction. I loved the poem Vance read at the end. You can’t convince me otherwise but Jack send it to him. I think a lot of people who have friends or family that suffer from addiction will find comfort in that and appreciate the little reminder. I know I did.

Oh, and because I saw it quite often after the episode aired, I know that a lot of people are mad at the writers for killing of characters and being convinced there doing it to give male characters character development I’m not saying you don’t have right to your opinion that would be wrong. Everyone interprets things differently and that’s okay. That makes TV shows so fun because we all can have discussions. I personally don’t find it to be an issue at all and would not have brought these together. To me it is a completely natural thing for a show to write of characters in different ways if you want to keep a show interesting and engaging especially for as long as 18 years. If that would not happen, we would we really be interested in watching something for such a amount of time if it stagnated? I know I would have lost interest for sure.