#remembered i used to be rly into this ship years ago and then was like . oh maybe i should draw it

[dorkfruit]

red sea but.... as yuris ?

[yangjeongin]

you guys..........i rly feel like i need to share this with more people cause it's so ? weird.

but basically +4 years ago my ex gifted me a bloomiz album but naively she decided to use regular postal service and i was like don't do that it will never get here cause the postal service here sucks. that was back in feb 2020. oneiric diary comes out june 2020 and i'm like well clearly that bloomiz album is Lost. a year goes by and i have already lost all hope and at that point kind of forgotten about it. yesterday at 8am i am woken up by a call from guess who? THE POST OFFICE. telling me i have a package from korea waiting for me. i am completely weirded out by the fact that that package somehow got lost in limbo and then found it's way back here but i end up going there and the woman at the reception is like were u not expecting something? and i'm like yeah FOUR YEARS AGO 😭😭😭😭😭 she laughs and says she's been working there for 32 years and she's never seen anything like it. at the end i leave because i had to do other things before i could get the package. so i go back today after doing the other things they asked me to and the guy there looks at me weirded out when i point out that the date on the package says 05.03.2020 LMAO he wanted to check in the system the package number to see the tracking and when it rly entered the country but the program kept shutting down and now i will be forever curious. he said he's seen late packages arriving which end up being rocks 😭 the weird thing is that it has that date which i assume is the date it got shipped cause it has a stamp with my country's name, it has another date that says 30.05.2024 and then 08.08.2024 which is when the package arrived to my city. like yeah i'm happy it finally came but what the fuck 😭 i knew the postal service was bad but not this bad. they will forever remember that package from korea that took 4 years to arrive.

[susiehunsecker-remade]

im new to the terror so forgive me for this v broad question but ... what are The Ships here ... i know fitzier is big but what else is ... jopzier? is that what they're called? i wanna b in the kno so bad lol also feel free to use this space to talk about dynamics (romantic or otherwise) that ur rly interested in ^_^

AGH OKAY.. trying to wrackmmy brain into remembering all the relevant pairings . it's 4am forgive me if i forget.

fitzier - self explanatory, fitzjames and crozier. somehow speedrun being worstie coworkers to being in a 10 year long tender marriage over the course of a two/three year long expedition. my favorite to read fics for / talk about. they look like this to me 🦭🦙

joplittle - jopson and little. i will be real i don't care for them as much just because i care too much about jopson and crozier but i do get it. what if we were both busting our ass for a guy and only one of us got the praise from him for it ❤️ what if we we became responsible for an entire ship's worth of men on a doomed arctic expedition becahse our captain was too sick to think...together ❤️

bridglar - bridgens and peglar. one of the two canonical couples on the crew. very in love very married i'm not big on them but i understand why. they'll only resort to cannibalism if it means they'll both survive they fit together perfectly and when they die they'll wake up in the afterlife with the other in their arms. what's there not to love!

jopzier - jopson and crozier! dutiful steward and the captain he's dedicated himself to out of sheer love and respect And also because he sees him as a mother figure but i won't get into that. okay this one's my actual favourite i can't even pretend i'm not batshit about them. crozier does not deserve that man but it's okay whatever makes jopson happy ❤️ also when i mean jopson sees him as a mother figure the Him in question is himself. i don't believe in that He Wants Crozier To Mommy Dom Him line of thinking. anyways. what was this thread about. oh yeah pairings.

goodsilna - goodsir and lady silence/silna. i wish i could talk about these two more but i'm not articulate enough to convey what i think about them. they're traumabonded siblings they're the only ones who truly see the other for who they are they're completely incompatible they're all the other has they couldn't have possibly loved the other but they did. i need to rewatch the show just to solidify my feelings on them more but god they're one of the best dynamics the show has

hickeygibson - gibson and hickey! RAT MARRIAGE and the cause of most of my mental anguish ❤️ my two beautiful wives who love each other fiercely until the need to survive tears them apart what's not to love

hickeytozer - tozer and hickey. cop boyfriend with the mr beast haircut and his frequently unemployed gay boyfriend that puts his cigarettes out on tozer's arm. they're great i love hickey and his stupid dog he feeds chocolate to for fun

hickeycrozier - hickey and crozier. um. well. what if your captain loved your men more than god loved them but just fucking hated you in particular and used you as a scapegoat for all his frustrations and failings as a captain leading you to become the gay racist joker of the seven seas. and also what if you said a slur you couldn't reclaim in front of him and like 2 years ago he gave you a drink all flirty. well this all happened to my friend cornelius so you can imagine how he feels about that.

fitzfranklin - sir john + fitzjames. This is a sneak they're not at all popular but I have to shove them in somehow. You know how jfj is constantly trying to get older men to praise him like. Haha best walker in the service i told sir barrow that without blushing ❤️ Hey francis can I talk to you about how my dad didn't care about me and also how we're like brothers ❤️. This is the natural culmination of that to me especially considering how hard she dickrides for franklin in the beginning. Please consider them even though they barely exist. For me.

[faiell]

hello, nice to meet you!

i'm back at the top after rambeling about how i got into drarry, and so here is the fic rec: "genesis (you don't know what it means to win)" by crossourbridges on ao3. you don't have to read the rest if you don't want to.

i also got into drarry 20 years late, but let me tell you another secret: i've never read a page of a harry potter book in my life.

all my knowledge about it is from a friend that i like to listen to her obseasions and pick the ones i wanna get into (while i still enjoy hearing about the ones i don't). one time though she sat me down and we watched the movies, like 1-5 and i got bored at some point so we left it, but one thing that stayed with me was the character of draco.

i saw a sad, hhhhorney loser who just craves attention from EVERYONE, every gender, every house, the poor dude just needs to get layed, but without knowing the canon i'm pretty sure he never will.

that was a couple of years ago, and recently i suddenly remembered him bc i noticed i enjoy ships that are "a harmless prick loser and the misfourtunate everyman that the prick fell in love with, who is actually just insane enough himself to slowly but surly love the prick back".

and so i was like "i'm sure draco and harry are a ship. i wonder what their fanfics are like" and now for weeks i've been in this rabbithole of PROFOUND SHIT THAT MADE ME BELIEVE IN LOVE FOR A HOT SECOND, so yea. this is the reason i'm reccomending you this one. it's one of those stories that are the perfect length and much too short at the same time.

i hope you enjoy :)

first off, thank you so much for the fic rec! i will definitely check it out.

the journey of you becoming a drarry fan is a hilarious read, i'm so happy you shared it with me! hats off to you for being that friend who enjoys hearing about others' obsessions. we need more like you in the world. it's amazing that you absorbed just enough from her all those years ago to have the instinct to say AHA!! i bet people love making these two losers kiss! and u were right.

my turn! let me ramble (for even longer than you did) abt how i happened to the same drarry pit of "profound shit that made me believe in love for a hot second" with you. so on the contrary, i've always been a big HP fan, in the sense that i grew up with the book series and watched the movies. the books are why i became a big reader when i was a kid. i've always been a shipper, i always knew drarry existed, and many of my close friends were obsessed with it throughout the years--like losing weight because they were reading so much fic in bed their muscles atrophied kind of obsessiveness. for some reason, i never engaged. i was like yeah, obviously there's good stuff there, but i'm just not going to dip in.

then one day a few months ago (oct 2023 to be exact), i was bored at work and saw a thread on my home page titled something along the lines of 'absolute favourite fic regardless of fandom'. i was curious and maybe just itching for something fun to read so i clicked in and a highly upvoted reply caught my eye. the user's fav fic was the HP rewrite Mirror of Ecidyrue series by starbrigid. i was honestly really bored, and a draco POV retelling sounded fun, so i dove straight in.

i loved it, and holy shit it was long. i think the entire fic is longer than the og books? but yeah basically i rly enjoyed it, and i read it fast, finishing in only a week or so. i think ever since the transphobia bs happened i distanced myself from everything related to the franchise--i used to reread the books every few years, and i had stopped doing that. reading that fic made me realize how much i missed the world and characters, and how i could have it all again without shame by reading fic! i mean, starbrigid had basically rewritten the entire series and added their own interesting lore and worldbuilding, and that was even better than going back to reread the books like i used to. i also really enjoyed draco pov… i knew i definitely wanted more of that.

and so i went into the ao3 drarry tag to find more content, because i'd heard years ago from my obsessed friends that there was a goldmine of good HP fic there, and i never resurfaced lol. i feel like once u go in u can't ever get out cause it's a good ship and the writers are so talented, and there's YEARS, decades of content to catch up on. i remember also thinking that i'd be satisfied just reading and eating it all up (whereas i'm usually pretty active in making fanart when i join a fandom), but um, a few weeks ago i was like kinda like hmm i wanna see what MY brand of drarry looks like. so now im here posting art of it!

they are thankfully super fun to draw. i'm just having fun here, but i do have a small goal - i wanna draw fic fanart to sort of… give back some joy and show gratitude towards my fav writers. other than that, i'm here to chill and look at pictures and words of them making out.

[cheswirls]

rambling a lil bit so i'll have written this down somewhere

i remember talking w yessa in july abt how there have been 150+ new fics in the sa ao3 tag this year and how plausible it was w the rest of the year left to have over 900 fics in the tag. and at this point in august there's been closer to 180 new fics which is like. insane for me. i remember when there were less than 100 fics in the tag that you would jus read over and over. when i posted iye/lme to ao3 there were close to 200 fics and that was like. not that long ago in hindsight. crazy to see how much things have changed. there are so many fics in the tag now even if there's not enough to boost it into ao3's top ten (or w/e the filter number is) in the op tag. like absolutely insane that more than likely there will be 900 sa fics on ao3 by next year.

aaaaaaaaaa it just. makes me so happy. i only wish there wasn't such a(n unnecessary) stigma associated w them these days bc there wasn't like 5-6 yrs ago. there's nothing wrong w liking saboace n yet there's still a large part of the fanbase that's like silent and anonymous and lurking bc they're scared to get caught up in the bad stigma that like. shouldn't even apply. doesn't even matter. it rly has hurt sa fanworks of every kind bc so many ppl aren't willing to publicly acknowledge they have given a fanwork attn of any kind. which. like. i hesitate to call it a rarepair anymore but let's say for a "less popular" ship that isn't already getting as much attraction and attention as others in the fandom, it rly does hurt to see not just ppl turning away from rly great content bc of the bad stigma, but ppl who genuinely like the ship refusing to interact w creators in any way.

it sucks bc if a creator of any sort can see their content getting views but not anything else, then they have absolutely no idea what the consensus on their work is. ppl could be passing it around racking up hits/views to say 'hey look at this! look at what this person posts! block them!!' or like. ppl hate-read all the time. it doesn't have to be looking at art/videos/edits/etc, it could be opening up a fic for the tenth time to read it out of and close in disgust. or w/e happens.

point being, for a ship like sa is, it's rly easy for creators to think that a large amnt of views w/ zero spread or feedback is a negative response, even when that might not (and probably isn't, tbh) be the case. a silent majority of lurkers is unfortunately what sa creators put up with, and besides being hard to interpret, it can jus be disheartening. i wonder how many fics would be in the ao3 tags today if ppl weren't scared to post their work even under an anonymous label, or if others hadn't gotten discouraged along the way by a lack of response. i wonder how many notes and buzz would be around art pieces made by non-asian artists if ppl weren't so hesitant to even leave a like on art in fear of being called out on it. i wonder how big and how vocal the sa fanbase would be today if the ship were destigmatized, if it was treated like how it was back in 2016-18.

anyway. bringing this back around before i fall off too far. i am excited to hopefully see the fic number reach 900 by the years end, but i also know the tag number fluctuates as ppl delete fic (also begging users on ao3 to not delete and just orphan their work plsplspls. you do not have to be associated w it while also leaving it for others to enjoy) and ik chinese users p frequently use ao3 as a storage cache (and then dl everything when it becomes dangerous for them) so the number could go ±10 in the span of a day. but hopefully :) it would be a p cool thing to see

[meruz]

once again i am answering asks in a big compilation post. included is... gotham, patrick stump, tips about drawing backgrounds, tips about drawing in general, links to my faq, and infinity train

like.... the tv series? No... I’ve drawn dc comics fanart before, though. But it’s been years since I’ve been really into it. I like jumped ship like 10 years ago when the New 52 happened LOL.

AFJHDSLKGH I’m sorry I (probably) won’t do it again??

Actually full disclosure I have a truly cringe amount of p stump drawings/photo studies in my sketchbook right now LOL. He’s just fun to draw... hats, glasses, guitar, a good shape... but I don’t think I’ll rly post those until I can hide them in another big sketchbook pdf.. probably Jan 2022. Stay tuned........ (ominous) 

(ominous preview)

These are all sort of related to backgrounds/painting so I grouped them together even though they’re pretty much entirely separate questions.... ANYWAYS

a) How is it working as a BG artist? Is it hard? What show are you drawing for?

I think you’re the first person to ever ask me about my job! Being a background artist is great. It’s definitely labor intensive but I think that could describe pretty much any art job (If something were rote or easy to automate, you wouldn’t hire an artist to do it) and I hesitate to say whether its harder or easier than any other role in the animation pipeline. Plus, so much of what truly makes a job difficult varies from one production to the next, schedule, working environment, co-workers etc. But I will say that I think while BGs are generally a lot of work on the upfront, I think they’re subject to less scrutiny/revisions than something like character/props/effects design and you don’t have to pitch them to a room like boards. So I guess it’s good if you don’t like to talk to people? LOL

A lot of my previous projects + the show I’ve worked on the longest aren’t public yet so I can’t talk about em (but I assure you if/when the news does break I won’t shut up about it). But I’m currently working on Archer Season 12 LOL. I’m like 90% sure I’m allowed to say that.

b) ~~~THANK YOU!! ~~~

c) What exactly do you like to draw most [in a background]?

@kaitomiury​ Lots of stuff! I really like to draw clutter! Because it’s a great opportunity for environmental storytelling and also you can be kind of messy with it because the sheer mass will supersede any details LOL. 

I like to draw clouds... I like to draw grass but not trees lol,,, I like to draw anything that sells perspective really easily like tiled floors and ceilings, shelves, lamp posts on a street etc.

d) Do you have any tips on how to paint (observational)?

god there’s so much to say. painting is really a whole ass discipline like someone can paint their whole life and still discover new things about it. I guess if you’re really just starting out my best advice is that habit is more important than product. especially with traditional plein air painting, I find that the procedure of going outside and setting up your paints is almost harder than the actual painting. There’s a lot of artists who say “I want to do plein air sometime!!” and then never actually get around to doing it. A lot of people just end up working from google streetview or photos on their computer.

But going outside to paint is a really good challenge because it forces you to make and commit to lighting and composition decisions really quickly. And to work through your mistakes instead of against them via undo button.

My last tip is to check out James Gurney’s youtube channel because hes probably the best and most consistent resource on observational painting out there rn. There’s lots other artists doing the same thing (off the top of my head I know a lot of the Warrior Painters group has people regularly posting plein air stuff and lightbox expo had a Jesse Schmidt lecture abt it last year) but Gurney’s probably the most prolific poster and one of the best at explaining the more technical stuff - his books are great too.

e) Do you have tips for drawing cleanly on heavypaint?

@marigoldfool​ UMM LOL I LIKE ONLY USE THE FILL TOOL so maybe use the fill tool? Fill and rectangle are good for edge control as opposed to the rest of the heavy paint tools which can get sort of muddles. And also I use a stylus so maybe if you’re using your finger, find a stylus that works with your device instead. That’s all I’ve got, frankly I don’t think my drawings are particularly clean lol.

f) Tips on improving backgrounds/scenes making them more dynamic practicing etc?

Ive given some tips about backgrounds/scenes before so I’m not gonna re-tread those but here’s another thing that might be helpful...

I think a good way to approach backgrounds is to think of the specific story or even mood you want to convey with the background first. Thinking “I just need to put something behind this character” is going to lead you to drawing like... a green screen tourist photo backdrop. But if you think “I need this bg to make the characters feel small” or “I need this bg to make the world feel colorful” then it gives you requirements and cues to work off of.

If I know a character needs to feel overwhelmed and small, then I know I need to create environment elements that will cage them in and corner them. If a character needs to feel triumphant/on top of the world then I know I need to let the environment open up around them. etc. If I know my focal point/ where I want to draw attention, I can build the background around that.

Also, backgrounds like figure compositions will have focal points of their own and you can draw attention to it/ the relationship the characters have with the bg element via scale or directionality or color, any number of cues. I think of it almost as a second/third character in a scene.

Not every composition is gonna have something so obvious like this but it helps me to think about these because then the characters feel connected and integrated with the environment.

Some more general art questions

a) Do you have any process/tips to start drawing character/bodies/heads?

I tried to kind of draw something to answer this but honestly this is difficult for me to answer because I don’t think I’m that great at drawing characters LOL. Ok, I think I have two tips.

1) flip your canvas often. A lot about what makes human bodies look correct and believable is symmetry and balance. Even if someone has asymmetrical features, the body will often pull and push in a way to counterbalance it. we often have inherent biases to one side or another like dominant hands dominant eyes etc. you know how right-handed artists will often favor drawing characters facing 45 degrees facing (the artist’s) left? that’s part of it. so viewing your drawing flipped even just to evaluate it helps compensate for that bias and makes you more aware of balance.

2) draw the whole figure often. I feel like a lot of beginner artists (myself included for a long time) defer to just drawing headshots or busts because it’s easier, you dont have to think about posing limbs etc. But drawing a full body allows you to better gauge proportion, perspective, body language, everything that makes a character look believable and grounded.

Like if you (me) have that issue where you draw the head too big and then have to resize it to fit the proportions of the rest of the body, it’s probably because you (I) drew the head first and are treating the body as an afterthought/attachment. Sketching out the whole figure first or even just quick drawing guides for it will help you think of it more holistically. I learned this figure drawing in charcoal at art school LOL.

oh. third mini tip - try to draw people from life often! its the best study. if you can get into a figure drawing/nude drawing class EVEN BETTER and if you have a local college/art space/museum that hosts those for free TREASURE IT AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT, that’s a huge boon that a lot of artists (me again) wish they had. though if youre not so lucky and youre sitting in a park trying to creeper draw people and they keep moving.. don’t let that stop you! that’s good practice because it’s forcing you to work fast to get the important stuff down LOL. its a challenge!

b) I’ve been pretty out of energy and have had no inspiration to draw but I have the desire to. Any advice?

Dude, take a walk or something.... Or a nap? Low energy is going to effect everything else so you gotta hit that problem at its source.

If you’re looking for inspiration though, I’d recommend stuff like watching a movie, reading a book, playing video games etc. Fill up your idea bank with content and then give yourself time/space to gestate it into new concepts. Sometimes looking at other art works but sometimes it can work against you because it’s too close. 

Also something that helps me is remembering that art doesn’t always have to be groundbreaking... like it’s okay to make something shitty and stupid that you don’t post online and only show to your friend. That’s all part of the process imo. If you want to hit a home run you gotta warm up first, right? Sports.

I should probably compile everytime i give tips on stuff like this but that’s getting dangerously close to being a social media artist who makes stupid boiled down art tutorials for clout which is the last thing i want to be... the thing I want to stress is that art is a whole visual language and there are widely agreed upon rules and customs but they exist in large part to be broken. Like there's an infinite number of ways to reach an infinite number of solutions and that’s actually what makes it really cool and personal for both the artist and the viewer. So when you make work you like or you find someone else’s work you like, take a step back and ask yourself what about it speaks for you, what about it works for you, what makes it effective, how to recreate that effect and how to break that effect completely, etc. And have a good time with it or else what’s the point.

for the first 2, I direct you to my FAQ

For the last one, I don’t actually believe I’ve ever addressed artwork as insp for stories/rp but I’ll say here and now yeah go ahead! As long as you’re not making profit or taking credit for my work then I’m normally ok with it. Especially anything thats private and purely recreational, that’s generally 100% green light go. I only ask that if you post it anywhere public that you please credit me.

(and I reserve the right to ask you to take it down if I see it and don’t approve of it’s use but I think that case is pretty rare.)

a) @lemuelzero101 Thank you!!! I haven’t played Life is Strange but actually  that series’ vis dev artist Edouard Caplain is one of my bigger art inspirations lately so that’s a really high compliment lol. And yeah I hope we get 5-8 too...!

b) Thank you for sticking around! I’ve been thinking about Digimon and Infinity Train in tandem lately, actually. They’re a little similar? Enter a dangerous alternate world and have wacky adventures with monsters/inanimate objects that have weird powers... there’s like weird engineers and mechanisms behind the scenes... also frontier literally starts with them getting on a train. Anyways if anyone else followed me for digimon... maybe you’d like Infinity Train? LOL

c) @king-wens-king I’M GLAD MY ART JUST HAS PINOY VIBES LOL I hope you are having a good day too :^)

a, b, c, d) yessss my Watch Infinity Train agenda is working....

e) aw thank you!! i think you should watch infinity train :)

[trouble-in-space]

I saw some of your previous ships that you made and i really wanted one too, so yeah i wanted to request a stranger things ship

So first up im 16 and I'm bisexual i also don't really have a preference

i use any pronounce

I'm 5,1 and have kinda long light brown? Ish hair, i have greenish brown Eyes.

I'm quite skinny, i have good skin and i have light freckles

I wear glasses I'm very negative on one eye and positive on the other.

I really enjoy wearing necklaces and bracelets when they have a big sentimental value like someone important gave it to me you will see me wearing it everywhere.

I usually really like to wear tops with nice flowery patterns and i generally like to wear the colours beige, light blue, rose, brown, Green and white.

I don't really wear makeup often only on some special occasions. I like to paint my nails and i also like to braid my hair.

I would describe myself as a cheerful person, a lot of the time I'm very outgoing around my friends, i just tend to get a little more shy around people i don't really know

i do not work well under stress

I get really angry when I'm under stress or annoyed i personally really dislike that about myself

I'm an traditional Artist so of course art is like my main hobby i mostly paint landscapes and nature tho i also do humans and animals

I actually do play Dnd in a discord on some weekends when I'm not too busy

I like reading i mostly read wierd romance books my mum gave me like 3 years ago.

I love hanging out with friends and going outside so i also like taking walks.

I really like to sleep and i also like to just have my peace

I of course also like my friends family and my pet cats

I also really enjoy games online and board games !

I also really like small presents and compliments

I have a big fear of small spaces

I also cant stand people who are not trustworthy or just generally rude

I'm a Enfj personality type

And I'm a Taurus i do not know much about zodiac signs but yeah I'm a Taurus

Anyways remember to stay hydrated and take care of yourself! You don't have to rush on this

Hi love! Thank you for requesting, you’re so sweet!<33

Stranger Things:

I’m getting Robin vibes!! She loves glasses, idk she just does. She’ll get you guys matching necklaces that have a secret meaning that only you guys would know. It would mean so much to her and you. I can see your style fitting very well with Robins. She’ll always paint your nails for you, if you paint hers. Will also beg you to braid her hair even tho it’s too short. Robin would be really good at helping you calm down when you’re stressed. She just has a way of getting you to think about other things. She’s totally a cat person. Something Robin loves to do is buy you little things. It could just be something she thought was cool or something that reminded her of you. She doesn’t know how to play dnd, (she doesn’t rly have an interest to learn) BUT she thinks it’s adorable that you play and will definitely get you into Hellfire campaigns if you want.

[microsuedemouse]

Ok, since I have horrible luck and forced yet another sad Abedison on the world because of Spotify... can I ask for another prompt? How about a song ending in a multiple of 5? (5,15, 25, etc). I am an absolute sucker for bittersweet but maybe there's a happy one in there! :D <3

(send me a ship and a number from 1-100; I'll write a short scene inspired by the corresponding song from my Spotify top songs this year)

here's a happy one for ya! <3 since you gave me some freedom with the numbers, I spent a few minutes deciding which song I thought worked best for them. this one is a pretty good fit, I think! :) number 65 on my playlist:

a rly sweet song about the little things that make you fall in love with someone. feels very right for Annie and Abed.

All Night | 1 290 words | G

discount cigarillos in the parking lot dancing in the kitchen to country songs a million little pieces of a perfect life I want it to last all night

Annie used to think love happened all in one fell swoop. A spark, or an explosion of butterflies, or, hell, even a fire in the loins. Like in all those romance novels she discovered in the library shelves at age thirteen and used to read under the covers after her mother thought she’d gone to sleep. Whether it happened the moment the leads locked eyes, or not until the climax of the story when one of them narrowly escaped disaster and they had to acknowledge suddenly that the fear they’d felt was the result of a passion undeclared… that realization always came all at once, thunderously, like an epiphany. The heroine and her hero would just Know. That, Annie thought, was what real love must be like.

Back in high school, she thought she Knew, with Troy. He was handsome, and he was actually very nice to her that one time she collided with him in the hallway, and if movies had taught her anything it was that the shy, nerdy grade-grubber and the popular-but-actually-sweet jock absolutely could be soulmates. But then time went on, and she became friends with him instead, and those feelings just sort of… faded away. Then she thought she’d Known with Vaughn, who was kind and wholesome and made her feel pretty, but when the time came to test her commitment, she realized she couldn’t leave her friends just to stay with him. She’d thought, very briefly, that she Knew when she befriended Rich, who seemed in every way to be her ideal: smart, open-hearted, compassionate, outgoing, well-rounded. Even when he rejected her, he did it so gently and thoughtfully that she almost adored him more for it. Eventually, though, she’d come to see that she was a lot younger than him, and that he’d been right when he told her they weren’t standing on even ground.

Most embarrassingly of all, she thought several times that she Knew she was in love with Jeff. But when it really came down to it, she also Knew that she wasn’t, really. Whenever one of their bizarre, too-charged sort of phases wound back down, she found herself relieved. Every time he dated someone new (or not-so-new, when it came to Britta), she’d get all up in arms, and then a couple days later she’d realise it was actually a weight off her psyche. Anytime she started to trick herself into believing again that it really was Jeff all along, for her, she tried to remember the things she’d said when Abed pushed her to the very edge of her patience, that day years ago in the Dreamatorium: she loved the idea of being loved. She loved the idea that if she could make a man as cynical as Jeff love her, she’d never had to worry again about being left alone. She’d said a lot of very rash things that afternoon, and this had been one of them, but that was how she knew it was true. It had come up from her gut, instinctively, the moment that Abed-as-Annie had claimed that she was (they were) in love with Jeff. It wasn’t the healthiest conversation she’d ever had with herself – there was way too much to sort through, there – but it had, undoubtedly, been furiously honest.

Abed did have a strange way of always being just what she needed. And she tried her best to be the same for him. It wasn’t always pretty, but they were working on that. They were both kind of messy, mixed-up people, but they cared enough about one another to want to be better. That was why living together worked so well for them, even if they still made each other crazy once in a while: after all, who better to understand you than someone just as nuts as you are?

And it was because they knew each other so well that Annie knew, when she got the text that said gonna be home late again :/, exactly what their evening would look like. Normally it would’ve been his turn to make dinner, but sometimes work schedules and home schedules just didn’t cooperate. So she turned on the radio to motivate her through the little tasks that would make the rest of the evening smooth and easy: she made sure the couch was clear of clutter, and she pulled five DVDs from the shelf that she’d be willing to watch. Abed could choose his favourite from her selection, and that way they wouldn’t argue or spend an hour just trying to pick something. Then she preheated the oven and fished a frozen pizza out of the freezer. She wasn’t really up to cooking any more than Abed would be by the time he got in.

She heard him come in while she was getting the pizza into the oven, and as she stood up and pulled off the oven mitts, he stepped into the kitchen. He was smiling a bit, but he looked tired, pulling a lunchbag out of his backpack and going to the sink to rinse out his thermos.

“Long day?” Annie asked, leaning back against the edge of the counter.

“Long week,” he answered, shrugging one shoulder.

“Yeah. No kidding.” They’d both been busy, lately. She gave a small sigh, then smiled again when he turned back towards her. “At least it’s the weekend. How’re you holding up?”

Abed’s eyes crinkled as his own smile grew a little, like it heartened him just to be home with her. “Getting better, now,” he answered, and there was a trace of play in him. Though only a few minutes ago Annie had been thinking about how much she looked forward to settling into her spot on the couch and not moving again for hours, his attitude was as contagious as ever, and she found a little energy in herself somewhere.

“Yeah. Me too.” She jabbed a thumb over her shoulder towards the oven. “Pizza’s in. Already dug out a few movies for you to pick from. I figure it’s a good night just to veg out.”

“Sounds good to me.” Then he cocked his head, eyes going off to one side, and after a second she realised he was listening to the radio, playing quietly in its place atop the fridge. “Is this Country Roads?”

Annie paused, listening, then grinned. “Yes it is.”

“Been in quite a few movies,” he commented, almost absently. “Alien: Covenant, which probably could’ve been better. Kingsman 2, which got mixed reviews, but honestly I thought it was a lot of fun.”

“Don’t forget Whisper of the Heart,” she reminded him, a little amused.

Abed straightened up, his eyes coming back into focus on her face, and he beamed at her. “How could I ever forget Whisper of the Heart?” he asked. “That’s the best one.”

She bit down on her smile for a second before, impulsively, starting to sing along softly. “Country roads, take me home…”

“To the place I belong,” Abed continued, reaching out one hand. With a laugh, she accepted, and he pulled her gently into the middle of the kitchen and into a very loose hold, smiling his silly smile, eyes sparkling as he swayed side to side and spun her slowly.

So they danced, giggling at each other, half-singing along with John Denver, waiting for their pizza to cook. Annie didn’t think much about it in the moment. When she caught the way Abed was watching her, equal parts fond and entertained, she didn’t Know anything at all. But one day, looking back, she’d remember little things like this, and she’d Know. Even without ever being able to put a finger on when or how things changed, she’d Know, with absolute certainty.

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

can i say a sort of pointless rambly thing i was thinking about that i can't put under the cut bc i'm on mobile?

jk, i'm not actually asking. ramble below, not edited for clarity. the following is completely unclear and i will not fix it:

i've been thinking about how part of the reason i'm so chill about caryl is bc growing up as a queer woc 99% of my main ships were like, never gonna fucking happen bc they literally couldn't. it was like, "omg, they gazed at each other from across the room, let's analyze the homosexual subtext of this one scene for the next fifty years, that's not necessarily hyperbole." i've watched all my ships fuck other ppl/have other love interests, and i knew that my thing was never gonna be canon, so to see like, one thing being like, "one half of my ship fucked another person several years ago while pining for the other half of my ship," i'm like...#nice, bc that can and likely will be used as a plot point to get them together later on, whereas in other situations i've been in i just kinda had to deal with it. so my impulse when i see ppl losing their shit is to be like

and to be slightly annoyed, tbh, bc the ship is still on track to be canon, and it's like, literally two white heterosexuals, they're prime candidates for juicy angsty pining that actually gets a resolution.

but!

that being said, i recognize that that attitude isn't necessarily fair. for one thing, i'm not the only queer woc (or some variation thereof) in this fandom, and some ppl's impulse might be exasperation instead, bc like, "wtf, even my mayohet ship has dumb fucking drama," and that's valid as hell, and i get it.

and also, i get that, even if you didn't grow up shipping impossible ships (or mulder/scully, bc that's a brand of bullshit all its own), this has been a suuuuper drawn out process where sometimes it feels like they're legit sprinkling crumbs to keep you hooked, just to play you again, and when you are invested in something, like /rly/ invested, especially if it's a form of escapism or hyperfixation or whatever, that can be e x h a u s t i n g. and i get that. i truly do, and while i make a lot of snide comments about the fandom being bonkers, i do get where the bulk of you are coming from (unless you're one of those ppl who hate on actors and esp actresses for just doing their jobs, and attack them on social media, in which case i am very much judging you and you need to get your life together).

i also realize that in the scheme of things i'm still a newbie. i've been here, what, twoish/threeish years, whereas some of you have been here since the beginning, so i'm not as worn out as y'all. but i also think that gives me a bit of objectivity that some of y'all have (understandably) lost.

my positivity is not meant as a sleight against those of you who are feeling negative, but is more of a semi-objective viewpoint (i say semi, bc lbr, i'm invested af in this, so i definitely have bias), and to me the threads of the storyline they're crafting seem sort of obvious.

like, let's look at it, yeah? they have one season left of this show that has been on for over a decade. they need to cater to everyone to give them a satisfying ending, while still hanging on to carylers bc of the spin-off. darylrreah seems like a very calculated move, bc it gives them both something to make abcers happy, while also creating tension and suspense and pining for carylers (i think they might underestimate just how fed up some carylers are tbh, and are banking on us to hang on for one last ride, which, honestly? if they play it right will probably work.)

if they end up doing a dumb love triangle thing, which, without seeing the episode and gauging the subtext i can't confidently say if i think they will or won't, it will ultimately end in our favor. it has to, bc leah isn't going to third wheel them on the bike in the spin-off. we can say with good authority that whatever that relationship ends up being (again, idk if they'll drag it out or not) it will be temporary. which leaves caryl open to ride off into the sunset and then bone down in every state in the united states and in puerto rico for good measure.

it's a lot of cheap drama, but i really and truly do not think it's anything to worry about, and i still really and truly trust kang to not make it out of character. ik ppl still don't agree with me on that point, and i'm not gonna argue, but to me it really does make perfect sense.

and i also predict that they are gonna play it up hardcore in the promotional shit and talking dead, but when that happens, remember it's bc it gets attention. regardless of where the story is ultimately going, relationship drama gets attention, which gets viewers, which gets amc and twd producers nice and comfy with full pockets

idk. to sum up ig i just wanted to clarify that i don't mean any harm with my relentless positivity. my history in fandom has just made this seem like nothing in comparison, bc while ppl are freaking out, i'm like, "oh damn, they're actually gonna get together by the end of this, aren't they? i didn't know that could happen!" and that makes me excited instead of upset

and you definitely don't have to listen to me. maybe i'm actually wrong. maybe i'm completely full of bullshit and am just good at making things sound confident. i got a lot of As on papers in college over books i never read, i know how to bs. but i also know how to analyze, and i while i will be the first to tell you i am not the best at a great many things, i do know that i am good at critically analyzing text while taking into account the context it was written in, and imho all signs point to canon caryl. when, i'm not entirely sure, but i see it happening. if it doesn't then they severely fucked up their storytelling, and that'd just be bad writing on their part.

(if you want proof that i'm good at reading writers'/producers' intentions, consider that i watched like, 8 seasons of supernatural before giving up, and said to myself, "i think they're gonna make destiel canon, but not until the very last second bc they are rly into catering to their fans but also have to consider their dumb fanboy audience so they can't do anything crazy overtly gay," and guess who hit the nail on the fucking head on that one)

none of this is important, but it was rattling around my mind grapes and i wanted to write it down into something vaguely coherent, and where else better to do it than here. i can word vomit and then send it into the ether and pretend i never said a thing. i love this horrible website, nothing can compare

i have no real conclusion to this, it was mostly stream of consciousness, but i hope it sort of helps y'all understand where i'm coming from, and why i am as chill as i am about things. not about y'all. y'all cause me so much anxiety i get physically sick and have to legit block tags, but with the actual show content i'm zen as hell

uh

the end ig?

it feels weird even signing off on this, but w/e

-diz

[yoditorian]

lacuna- part 7

din/reader

cooking is my love language so i made it rebel’s too (as ever, thank you to my love my life @brothersdrxke for being my shara) 💛 there’s rly only two more parts after this huh

series masterlist // main masterlist

word count: 2.7k

warnings: i don’t think there’s any swears in this one but just to be on the safe side, rebel has PTSD although it’s more suggested than actually experienced there’s a couple of moments that are shaky, softness and domesticity or just sadness?, sadness, the usual type of smut, 18+ no babies thanks

“No.”

At least Colonel Cintass has the decency to look surprised, he blanches when you show no sign of joking and sits up a little straighter. 

“If it’s a question of pay or location, both are negotiable. There’s academies all over the Inner and Mid rim, you’ll have your pick of the lot and a promotion if you accept.” He’s clutching at all the straws he has at his disposal, but you don’t budge. He huffs when you say nothing and asks, albeit agitatedly, what your plans are instead.

“Maybe I’ll go private. Pays well, I can do what I want-”

“There’s no glory in the private sector.” Cintass interrupts you, and your eyebrows furrow further.

“And there is here? If you joined up for glory, Colonel, I don’t think you should be calling the shots.” You’re right and you both know it. You’re all too familiar with the friends who’ve retired to find something quieter, and with the officers who spent their Rebellion days discussing facts and figures with politicians. People who’d never been on the front lines in the thick of it, never even seen a firefight, now in charge of fresh faced cadets and veterans with too many demons to feel like they belong anywhere else. You won’t stay here, not for any longer than it takes to pack your things.

You pulled out of Green Squadron the day after Shara told you she was retiring, the last of the original crew, you hadn’t wanted to fly any more missions without her. At least the Colonel heard you out and didn’t argue. He’d let you stay on as a temporary mechanic, while you figured out what it was you wanted to do. Although, now it’s clear he fought to keep you so he could get things in place to offer you a teaching job. 

It’s a good position, in all honesty. Miles better pay than you’ll get for the same job anywhere else, the choice to relocate to any of the shiny New Republic Navy training centres across the galaxy. But you can’t look a bunch of teenagers in the eye and tell them that this is everything they hope for. Not when the war chewed you up and spit you out the way it did. The scars on your back ache at the thought of it. 

Shara finds you in the hangar, loading up a couple of bags into your A-Wing’s pitiful storage compartment. All your belongings, your whole life, packed up and ready to go wherever you decide to take them.

“I don’t think you’re gonna be able to live in there.” 

“Ah, I’ll get a couple of hanging plants, maybe put up some curtains,” You smile at her from the top of the ladder, “Could be cosy.”

You know why she’s here. Not to talk you into accepting the teaching job, she knows you better than that. The idea was one she’d had right after she and Kes had found the old farm on Yavin IV, in need of a little tlc and a lot of patience, it was the perfect spot for them to raise their boy. And the little house further down the track, right at the edge of their land, was the perfect spot for you.

“I’m not saying you have to stay there forever,” She starts when you open your mouth to decline again, “I’m saying that when you need some solid ground under your feet, you don’t have to go looking for it.”

“Shara-”

“We’re family. You will always have a home with us.” It’s final. Non-negotiable. And something about the look in her eye makes you want to cry just a little bit. You think about the collection of scribbles tucked carefully away in one of your bags, the more recent ones at least are a little easier to distinguish as people. Four multi-coloured potatoes with legs. As far as little Poe is concerned, he agrees with his mother. 

You hop down the ladder and pull Shara tightly to you, maybe tighter than you have before. Because you’ve never really had a home, not a place you ever felt was worthy of such a title. But here she is, offering one to you like it’s nothing. 

“So, where are you off to now?” She asks when you finally have the strength to let her go. Both of your eyes are a little watery, but neither of you mentions it.

“Well, I turned down Cintass so it's up in the air. I’ve got some old contacts, so as long as they’ve forgiven me I can get a little income before I have to make any concrete decisions.” You don’t tell her exactly who the contacts are. Something about the way she raises her eyebrow makes you wonder if she’s already guessed where you’re going.  

It feels strange, guiding your A-Wing out of the hangar for the last time. You hope it's the last time. At least you had enough put by to get Green Four decommissioned and released to you, it might have been a little more difficult than you’d initially thought if you had to leave the ship behind. She’s old and you’ve put her through hell, but she’s yet to let you down.

You’re not overly surprised that your comm signal goes unanswered. You weren’t exactly the most gracious guest on your last visit. But you don’t get shot up on your approach, so maybe your old friends are feeling a little more amicable nowadays.

“Impressive.” Ran says when you hop out of the cockpit, helmet under one arm and a sheepish smile on your face.

“She used to be.” You know he’s already calculating how much he can get for it, or whether he wants to strip it for parts. Your heart aches at the thought of it but there’s not a lot you can do. If letting go of your starfighter is what gets you back on the team, then it’s what’ll have to happen. Even if it hurts.

Ran gestures at a couple of new crewmates, a Devaronian and a human, and you selfishly hope you won’t have to work too closely with them. There’s an insignia on the shoulder of the human’s jacket, one you don’t want to examine too closely for fear you’re right. He’s about to offer you your old room when the shooting starts.

The men are taking turns at a set of old side panels, blaster bolts melting the old steel on contact, and you know that. You flinch before you can stop yourself. Ran watches you suspiciously, but he says nothing. Before the war, you would never have even batted an eyelid at a little target practice. You probably would have been in the thick of it, laughing and betting and not watching your friends die over and over in your mind.

“You stink of soldier.” Xi’an sneers, although she means it more as an observation than an accusation. You don’t disagree, only shrug, and your hand hovers warily over your holster as you watch the shooting competition. Just in case.

“Where’s Qin?” You ask once your heartbeat returns to normal. Anger flashes across Xi’an’s face as Ran explains he’d outsourced a job a few years ago, and Qin hadn’t made it back. It’s unexpected, the odd way you find yourself a little disappointed. Even though he’d been cold with you on your last visit, even though you’d bickered and been at each other’s throats more than once. Qin had been a friend once, a lifetime ago. You suppose that’s exactly the problem.

“Are you still terrible at throwing?” Xi’an asks, and the awkward tension finally melts away. Her wicked smile returns and you find yourself mirroring it.

“I’m a little better.” You say. Although you’re still certain she’ll wipe the floor with you, it’s nice to see at least somebody around here missed you. It’s about as close to a confession as you’ll ever get from Xi’an. You’d be an idiot not to take the olive branch she’s so selflessly holding out in front of you. Maybe you won’t be so alone on the station after all.

Din’s wondering about you, some part of him always is, as he looks at the new pucks in his hands. A couple of humans, a mythrol, and a chiss. None of them should cause him too much trouble, but none of their last known locations are exactly close. He settles on one of the humans, last seen in the Yavin system, and tells himself it’s because he can stock up on supplies for some of the more long haul flights the new assignments will take him on. Definitely not because he could stand to be around people who might remind you of him, even just a little. Definitely not because he misses you.

Din watches you from across the market, chatting animatedly with a dark haired woman he’s half-certain he’s met before. The way she leans so casually, so naturally, against your shoulder as she laughs makes his ribcage ache. He wants that with you, always has. He wants to be able to take you to places like these. To hold you close in front of throngs of people and meet your old friends. He shouldn’t even be here.

The Armourer’s words still echo in his ears. He is responsible for the covert, their hardest working hunter. He cannot, should not, waste thought on times past. 

He shouldn’t be here.

But it’s too late.

Your eyes zero in on him, abandoning the conversation, and your friend follows your gaze. Din takes that as an invitation, slowly making his way towards the two of you in the shadow of a baker’s stall. The crowds part, as they always do, and for the first time he finds himself wishing they wouldn’t. You might have a life here, for all he knows. It’s been long enough. You deserve one, really. To have a home. To feel loved all the time, to not have to wonder. And then he’s there, in front of you, just staring. What are either of you even supposed to say?

A small boy peers around your hip, looking up at him in wonder. Too old to be yours, if he remembers correctly, but for a moment his heart seizes. You rest your hand in the kid’s curls, absentmindedly ruffling them. You’ve always fiddled when you’re nervous. 

“We should probably get home, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” The woman clears her throat, snapping the sudden tension into shards. Din’s careful not to cut himself on the edges. 

You nod enthusiastically, every language you know still lodged uncomfortably in your throat, and wrap an arm around her shoulders for a brief goodbye hug. She calls the boy after her as she leaves, their matching black curls bouncing when she heaves him up onto her shoulders.

“Shara,” You say, watching the two disappear into the waning crowd, “She teaches some of the older kids piloting basics. I help out when I’m here, mechanics mostly.”

“You find somewhere to settle?”

You shake your head. Give him some vague answer about drifting where the wind takes you. He doesn’t need to know you went crawling back to the only thing you knew before the war. It’s quiet for a moment, and even though you’re standing in the middle of the market, it’s as though you’re the only two people on the whole street. Din’s floundering for something to say, something to keep you here for just another minute, until you break the silence and save him. Just like you always do.

“When was the last time you ate something that wasn’t a ration pack?” 

Even with the way he treated you last time, you’re still showing him the kindness you always have. He’s still not sure he deserves it. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Come on.” You take his silence as an answer, and start towards an alleyway between two buildings. Din follows you without hesitation, and the path opens up to a small parking lot half-full of different speeder models. You lead him to an older one, yellow paint faded and scratched, and drop your bag in the backseat. He falters a little when you climb in and gesture to the seat beside you.

“Unless you wanted to sit in the back.” Your smirk is warm, familiar. It hurts to look at. So he hops in and settles on the front bench because he’s not sure he can bear to watch you look at him like that much longer.

The little home down the dusty farm track is not somewhere he ever expected you to call your own. You’ve always seemed like you should be on a background of stars, a hyperspace lane, not somewhere this domestic. At least that way he wouldn’t be consumed, so suddenly, with a very real idea of staying. 

You just look so comfortable, bathed in the low light of the afternoon sun through the windows, pulling vegetables out of a fridge covered head to toe in kid’s drawings. The little boy from the market, presumably. And it makes his ribcage ache to know that this too, is something that’ll always be missing from his every day. He won’t get to sit at your kitchen table and watch you fuss over a pot of stew, or have you slide up behind him and kiss his shoulder as he follows your favourite recipe. 

It’s the best stew he’s ever had. Easily. The sun has disappeared behind Yavin, bathing the whole moon in an odd red glow as he eats. The helmet seems to glare at him from the middle of your kitchen table. You’d ducked into the bedroom to eat before he could even suggest that you take the kitchen. Another sacrifice you’ve made for him. What does that make the number now?

His gloves stay on the table while he washes the dishes, at his insistence. Although you’d put up a little bit of a fight. Din doesn’t bother to pick them up when he passes the table, when he appears in your bedroom doorway and you look up from your datapad like it’s the most natural thing in the galaxy. 

You’ve pulled the curtains, shut the world out, and the room is plunged into darkness when you flick the lightswitch by the head of your bed. 

You’re expecting the warmth of his skin on yours when he finally finds his way to you in unfamiliar space. He always sheds his armour so silently. You don’t expect him to take your hands in his, and raise them to the sides of his helmet.

The breath catches in your throat, you know he can hear it. His fingers tremble slightly over yours but he doesn’t waver. He settles them both solidly on either side of his helmet, and guides you for a moment. Your hands follow the rest of the way when he drops his to your waist, you set it carefully on the bedside table and turn back to him. He’s not stupid. He knows you can’t actually see him. But it feels like every barrier between you is finally, melted away. And Din can lay you back on the bed as himself. 

It’s strange to have him in a space that’s become yours. Knowing that in the dark his helmet is sitting on a bedside table next to a picture frame of you and Green Squadron. That he probably saw every drawing Poe’s ever scribbled for you stuck to your fridge. But you force yourself to forget that. You shove it right down until there’s no room in your head for anything but the way he’s clinging to you. Until he is all you know.

“Tell me you don’t love me.” You’re almost asleep when the traitorous words slip out. 

Oh, you think you’re clever. You think you’re leaving him no choice but to confess. You think this is where things finally, finally, start to go your way. They don’t.

“I don’t love you.”

No differently than if he was recounting the weather forecast. And it hurts. But you don’t have it in you to run, to cry, to be angry with him at all. Instead, you fall back down to press your cheek against the warmth of his bare chest, defeated. He holds you there until you’re sleeping.

-

TAGLIST (add yourself here):

@brothersdrxke @rebloogggs @keeper0fthestars @remmysbounty @sirianisrock @thevoiceinyourheadx @firstofficerwiggles @1800-fight-me @ew-erin @chatterbean

[kendrixtermina]

Ship Meme Time! [ReiShin / LRS]

I felt like doing this one.

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

Actually probably not in episode 1 - the presence of Mini Rei in the Leliel sequence suggests that maybe Shinji saw her during the nubulous “3 years ago” incident.

What was their first impression of each other?

On Shinji’s end: mysterious? slighty unnerving?

On Rei’s end: mild interest, since he’s Gendo’s kid & protecter her in ep 1, though I doubt she grasped the full implications. 

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

Rebuild! Gendo’s nefarious plot does NOT count. 

I’d presume Touji & Kensuke would be on board & Misato would tease & encourage any possible relationship that Shinji would get.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

It was probably more or less simultaneous, at the end of ep 6.

It’s possible that there was some mutual vague interest/fascination before that, but it’s hard to say how much of that is just of Shinji being Gendo’s kid & maybe feeling vaguely reminded of Yui, before he gets to know Rei properly.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

They got 99 problems but being tsuntsun isn’t one. 

Though Rei would perhaps at first feel that it’s futile/doomed since instrumentality is around the corner. 

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think? What would their lives be like if they had never met?

It’s possible that Rei would have met another friend and/or love interest, but it’s not likely. She might’ve still had her doubts, but she’d probably still have gone along with Gendo’s plan, causing him to “win”. I think she’d have looked at her existence as a quasi-human as only painful rather than something that was both good & bad. 

With Shinji it’s harder to say cause he has other people to possibly inspire him & more complicated reasons to stay. I’d say he would’ve been more resentful overall, though, because he’d only have ambivalent motivators (Gendo, wanting to be needed etc.), not anyone who had no agenda & would be affected as an innocent if he “left”, & maybe that resentment woudl’ve come out as an emotional outburst at an inoportune point. 

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

I strongly believe that it would definitely be Rei, she can be straightforward enough once she got her feelings figured out. 

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

I don’t think they’d be into the whole ‘date’ ritual, it would just be a nice moment like having tea or going for a walk in nature together

What was their first kiss like?

Well there was that discarded storyboard from the rebuilds where the angel having taken Rei’s form “pulls EVA 01 in an open-mouthed kiss”... with their luck it could be something fucked up like that ^^°°

If we assume some reasonable AU, it would defiitely be all soft & tender & emotional. 

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

Shinji  would definitely be Rei’s. Her first friend even since she had none before :( 

As for Shinji, ovsly Asuka and/or Mana/Manga!Kaworu/Misato got to him first, but kissing someone on a whim & bc you rly like them would be very different. 

In my experience, it really matters a lot. Romantic kissing is something very different from just foreplay kissing & compatibility matters a lot. 

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

None, at least physically. 

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Rei doesn’t have a family :(

Who takes the lead in social situations?

It depends on the situation. Generally Shinji is friendlier & more conventional while Rei is braver. If it’s a garden party, it’s Shinji, if it’s comfronting someone about a problem, it’s Rei. 

Who gets jealous easier?

Probably Shinji cause he’s insecure in a preuccupied way sometimes

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

Neither.

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

Rei. Too bad she can’t seem to do it without immediate death. 

Shinji comes the closest in the manga ending or the end of 2.0.

What are their primary love languages?

Both are big on the acts of service.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

I can see Shinji resorting to one when he’s very very nervous

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

They’d be too shy to do it in public. 

Neither was hugged very much growing up so they’d probably have to ease into this slowly. 

Who initiates kisses?

Could be either

Who’s the big and little spoon?

This is probably the one case where Shinji would be the big spoon

What are their favorite things to do together?

Just chill peacefully in each other’s presence with music

Who’s better at comforting the other?

Rei. 

Who’s more protective?

About equal. There have been near-apocalypses on both counts. 

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

~The handholding~

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

the OG franchise already has If I can’t be yours, Tsubada Kudasai, Beautiful World, Dillematic triangle opera, the first verse of ‘repeat’...

Otherwise, the first thing that comes to mind is The Fragile by Nine Inch Nails

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

none rly. 

Who remembers the little things?

Both. They’re all about the little things~

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?

Could be either

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

It was probably a small, private affair, with Misato, Kaji (if alive) the other pilots and the classmates. 

Gendo is probably not present.

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

Since Rei most likely can’t have kids, they took in a bunch of orphans who reminded them of their younger selves. .

Do they have any pets?

Remember the pregnant cat from the Thrice Upon a time trailer?

They adopted some of the kittens. 

Who’s the stricter parent?

Definitely not Shinji

Who worries the most?

Shinji

Who kills the bugs in the house?

They probably have a strict “catch it & put it outside” policy

How do they celebrate holidays?

chill, low-key & cozy

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Rei

Who’s the better cook?

Shinji

Who likes to dance?

Rei.

[hottie0]

k so i had an idea for a chameron ao3 series of all the fics being conan gray songs but i got lazy and only wrote 1.5 stories for it so because i’m not acc gonna do it imma share the ideas i had cuz someone might find them useful so (btw these will be copied directly from notes the first time i wrote them, they can also be used for other ships if u want but i made them for chameron):

grow: a year after hs cam and charlie run into eachother in vermont and then u see a bunch of flashbacks of old nights and things at welton. they exchange numbers at the end or smth. (i did this one)

idle town: charlie can’t sleep at his new school. he reminisces and whatever. a little more focused on cam. he looks over at the other side of the room but cam isn’t there anymore. instead it’s his new roommate who he doesn’t even know the last name of. end it somehow.

generation why: pre-canon cam and charlie just talking on the roof. banter. romantics ensue on cams behalf. charlie doesn’t feel the same way. that’s why charlie treats him the way he does.

crush culture: charlie pining after cam. a bunch of little things cam does to push charlie over the edge. charlie talks to neil and neil says cam likes him too. he doesn’t. charlie kisses cam one night while studying and cam rejects him and they argue. this is the night of neils death. that’s why cam didn’t find out through charlie and everything hurt a little bit more than it should’ve.

greek god: cameron’s being made fun of all the time by charlie and he knows charlie likes him and idk tbh this one got deleted and idk what i had written

lookalike: pre-neils death cam and charlie dated in their time at welton then broke up which caused tension going into senior year. the dead poets knew. when the dps started charlie got a gf and wouldn’t stop talking about her. her name was elaine. he brought her to a meeting and she looks just like cam. damn.

the other side: falling out of love. the process.

the king: cameron accidentally reads a poem charlie had written for/about him. he stresses all day and acts weird. everyone else is like ??? at night cam decides f it and confronts him. it ends cute

comfort crowd: night time. tomorrow morning charlie was meant to leave welton so all his stuff was packed up. hed already punched cam so it was tense. to say the least. cam randomly gets up out of bed and charlie is like wtf?? cam fuddles around then he’s like “u coming” they go to the cave and have a meaningful talk and if they end up cuddling then that’s their business

wish you were sober: charlie and cameron get drunk in their dorm. cam can’t hold his alcohol well so he gets wayy more drunk. he tells charlie some personal shit. some of which includes the fact that he used to have feelings for charlie. charlie has feelings for cam. he’s sad and sends cam to bed.

maniac: short one. they’re at the same bar a few years later. not with eachother but cam knows charlie’s there. charlie is talking shit abt cam and calling him weird and blah blah. but just that night, charlie had called cam desperate after years. cam thinks abt everything. he gets up and leaves but doesn’t leave w/o saying a big ol’ f u to charlie. this ones so mean to charlie. sucks. anyways.

online love): they’re doing long distance because charlie got expelled. they break up over the phone. aw. make it depressing. maybe by them being interrupted before rly saying goodbye and shii.

checkmate: they’re playing chess idk i couldn’t think of anything better. just cute and fluffy cuz i say so.

the cut that always bleeds: cameron is in a problematic relationship w a girl he met at uni. they just went through one of their fight episodes. cam went back to his room but he needed company. he decides to go to charlie’s dorm for comfort. but they haven’t spoke since that evening years ago. charlie says “i thought i’d never see you again” yadda yadda cam tells charlie everything and they just hold eachother. the gf is like “plz take me back” so cam does and he never sees charlie ever again. cry abt it.

fight or flight: charlie has a gf but little does he know she’s cheating on him. he ends up catching her with her side piece in their apartment. it’s cameron. there’s a whole wtf moment and the gf is like “u two know eachother???”. cams like “i swear i didn’t know” the girl leaves but cam stays. they argue or whatever or just talk not sure yet. then they kiss and charlie says something dumb and it ends. also cameron is hot as shit in this btw.

affluenza: probs short. when charlie is getting ready to leave cam is like “so money can’t buy happiness” and charlie’s like tf did u say to me. they talk abt where charlie’s going and whatnot and money. “i can’t do the things you do charlie, don’t you get anything” charlie leaves feeling a bit more guilty.

(can we be friends?): cam and charlie’s life growing up together. cute moments of them falling for the other. “now charlie knows why he and cameron could never be friends.”

heather: charlie and knox are together. cameron likes charlie. one night charlie is drunk and it’s just cam and him in the dorm. charlie ends up kissing cameron as a joke and cameron doesn’t know. there’s a fic like this. after the kiss it’s never the same. knox doesn’t know what happened. cameron has to watch them be all buddy buddy and shit- even if they’re not out to the rest of the group, cam knows. cameron knows not to interfere with their relationship no matter how much he wants to. he chooses to sit and watch and keep all his feelings inside.

little league: charlie stops by a cafe one night because he has nothing else to do. it turns out it’s open mic night. someone gets up to read. that someone is cameron. cameron performs a poem called little league. charlie remembers things. he leaves before the poem is over. /OR/ Cameron is an adult, he's a doctor or smth bouj, he has a family, a house, the embodiment of the american middle aged straight white man dream life. But sometimes, in secret, he takes Welton's Yearbook out of the shelf, and he traces Charlie face, and he remembers.

the story: cameron and charlie are late-night swimming in the lake together. they’re fantasizing abt whatever and charlie says “we should run away” they continue the convo like they did the others. a few days later charlie brings it up again, seriously this time. “what? dalton are you on something?” no. they get into an argument and shit. about a week later cameron wakes up to charlie sneaking out, but this isn’t sneaking out like dps meeting sneaking out, he’s running away. cam: “charlie? what are you doing up?” charlie: “this is your last chance. you coming?” cam: *thinks* no.

fake: ratting on keating and more angsty mess

overdrive: first kiss moment. they’re meant to be studying but they got distracted and are just talking instead. charlie’s like “cam have u ever kissed sum1” cam: “i think u know the answer to that dalton” charlie: “do you want to” cam: “ha! that’s a laugh! who can i find within a mile of here that i could kiss” charlie: me. whole carpe diem whatever- “charlie are you kidding do you know what would happen if someone found out!?” “so i won’t let them” but they kiss and it’s cute

astronomy: au: cam never ratted out keating but neil still died but just that whole thing never happened. ok. ever since neil died both cam and char were different. their relationship was tense. before it had been perf and everyone was envious of them but after neil everything changed. cameron was more agressive and easily irritable. charlie was more reserved and quiet. they tried to fix it but they decided it would be best to split. they still saw eachother in hallways and stuff, but were no longer roommates. after a couple months, they were strangers.

people watching: a view on the cameron/charlie relationship from other people. they’re opposites obv. when ppl were first informed they were taken aback to say the least. but when they see how they are together they get it yk? yeah u do.

ur welcome for my genius guys u need it.

[chisinpink]

The Only One: A Mastermind!Nagito AU Story - PROLOGUE

Hello lovelies, I’ve posted a *lot* about my Mastermind!Nagito AU on tiktok (I’m @chisben there as well if you wanna check it out), and I rly wanna share it here so here’s the prologue! Special thanks to @servanthaji for helping out with the planning of this whole story in general!

(Content warning for mentions of bombs and bombings, swearing and crying.)

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JUNKO: Yep, that’s the day that it happened. The day everything started getting… pretty scary, if you ask me! I’m just glad you were outta town for that, and baby was home sick. That’s, like, the only reason she’s here today, too!

HAJIME: Wait, wait, slow down! What are you even talking about…?

JUNKO: Uhh, I’m getting to that? Besides, don’t you know that guy too? Nagito Komaeda?

HAJIME: Not really… I mean, I knew of him, but I was in the reserve course. I didn’t really talk to him or anything until I went to school that Monday, and… there was nobody there except him.

JUNKO: Oh, yea? Did he tell you anything?

HAJIME: Not really. After I got shot at and ran in the school, I asked him what the hell was going on, but it was like I wasn’t there either. He just changed the subject to hope over and over again, like I asked a totally different question, and eventually I just walked away. I still don’t know what he was doing there.

JUNKO: Then maybe he doesn’t want you to know, y’know? You’re so lucky you have me, then~!

(She smirks playfully. Hajime stares at her blankly and her face drops. She stares at a map with a pen in hand.)

JUNKO: Come ooon, I’m coping! This is pretty stressful for everyone, y’know, I use humor to forget about all this stupid shit.

HAJIME: Whatever… just… tell me what’s going on.

JUNKO: Well, what happened that day… that was the start of The Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History… in my opinion. And that’s saying a lot, because this world is filled with despair! And, like, his whole class helped him do what he did to the country! No idea why that is, but we can all fill you in on the rest, I guess. Preeeety sure we were all there in some way, ‘cept my baby.

(She gestures to the entirety of Class 78 of Hopes Peak Academy, standing and sitting in the basement of the school, as well as Mikan Tsumiki, who has a timid smile on her face as Junko looks back at her. Hajimes face drops.) 

HAJIME: Wh… what?? That can’t be it, that can’t be what happened…! The whole class?? The whole country?!

JUNKO: Eeeyup! They evacuated the school by putting a bomb under their teachers desk, and apparently all around the school, and I have NO idea how that lady didn’t croak! Anyways, everyone had to leave, and… that’s basically all I know. They just repeated that ooover and ooover on the news, it made me sick!!

(She threw her pen at a tiny radio propped up on a few cardboard boxes.)

HAJIME: Wh… this doesn’t… but… but, I...

(Kyoko steps forward and faces Hajime.)

KYOKO: I have some more information on what happened that day. After we were trapped here in the basement, all we had was the radio to inform us of the true nature of what happened. This is what I wrote down from those broadcasts.

(She hands Hajime a folder that contains three sheets of paper, all three of them hand-written notes. He begins reading.)

KYOKO: The class of 77-B was, most likely, all apparently under some sort of drug-induced psychosis. Most witnesses reported that they were acting strangely or out of character before they planted the bombs, and their eyes were hazy and… 

HAJIME: ”swirled”, “mixed”, “terrifying”, “comforting”, “light and dark” ...none of these make any sense.

KYOKO: My thoughts exactly. This entire event is bizarre and without any logical reasoning behind it… if you’d only heard about it on the news. But I think Makoto and I know more than any news outlets.

HAJIME: How?

(She looks over her shoulder to Makoto, signaling him to stand up.)

MAKOTO: Well, about a month ago me and Kyoko were going to one of the computer rooms to print something, but it was kind of out of the way, so we didn’t expect him to be there. N-Nagito, I mean. We saw him talking to Chihiro, and, uhm… I didn’t hear that part.

(He looks up to Chihiro. They stand meekly and fold their arms.)

CHIHIRO: H-he had been asking me to collaborate with him on a personal project, but… I didn’t have any spare time, and I didn’t even know him that well! So I finally just told him no, and he left me alone for a day or two… but t-then…

(Tears form at the corners of their eyes.)

CHIHIRO: H-he told me that… he was gonna… destroy the sc-sc-school if I didn’t-!

(They cover their face, and Makoto reaches out to rub their shoulder.)

MAKOTO: It’s not your fault, Chihiro. It’s nobody's fault but his. B-but anyway, after we heard about that, we decided that we had to keep an eye on him, but… basically the next day is when the bombs went off.

HAJIME: Why didn’t you just… tell a teacher what he told Chihiro?

MAKOTO: In hindsight… yeah, that would’ve been the safest thing we could’ve done. But Kyoko thought that we couldn’t keep an eye on him if he was expelled for that, a-and he could have been doing anything at home, so we fo-

KYOKO: Makoto, please, don’t. I was a coward, and I didn’t trust anybody else to investigate the matter. This whole situation could have been de-escalated dramatically if I had told school faculty.

(Kiyotaka stands from his spot next to Mondo.)

TAKA: You DIDN’T inform a teacher, or the Headmaster?! Miss Kirigiri, the school faculty always knows what is best for us!!

MONDO: Yeaaaah, is that why they all jumped ship and fucked off to who-knows-where so we could fight like dogs in the basement?

AOI: Hey, they did what they could, okay?? They had to protect themselves like everyone else! We’re not any better by hiding in the basement.

MONDO: Where the fuck ELSE were we supposed to go?? Candy land?!

YASUHIRO: Hey hey hey, Chihiro was right to lead us here the day the bombs went off! But I hear ya, maybe we coulda moved out of Japan together or somethin’ instead of hiding in Japan!

TOKO: I-I see why you’ve had to retake this year as m-much as you did now, you dumbass! He could b-be expanding anywhere now!!

BYAKUYA: As much as I hate to agree with her, I do. Nowhere is truly safe, and for all we may know, we’re being actively searched for. It’s only a matter of time before we have to relocate.

SAYAKA: I-I can’t stay here another second!! 

CELESTIA: Oh, so do you two suggest that we run out into the streets and expose ourselves to the predators? Play Nagitos game of cat and mouse?

LEON: Hell NO, I’m not playing that freaks game! But if he’s got his little possie out there looking every which way for us, then we gotta at least try and delay it!

SAKURA: On the other hand, we don’t know what they might want from us, if anything, or how bad the situation has escalated since we decided to hide.

HIFUMI: We don’t even KNOW what’s out there w-waiting for us anymore?! There could be giant mutant spiders wanting to turn us into baby food by now! I’m staying right HERE.

YASUHIRO: ...okay, I’m officially lost. Are we moving or staying?

SAYAKA: Moving!!

BYAKUYA: If you all intend on surviving, then you’ll all relocate. If you intend on being brutally murdered, then by all means, feel free to stay for a bit longer.

LEON: What in the actual fuck is wrong with you?? 

MAKOTO: H-hey, everybody calm down!!

SAKURA: We cannot make a decision until we know more about the outside world. AOI: But isn’t it because of what we don’t know that we have to go out there by now?

SAYAKA: Maybe some of us could go and some of us could stay?

TOKO: W-what if that reveals the hiding spot f-f-for everybody else??

MIKAN: (wiping away tears and hiccupping) N-nooo!!

YASUHIRO: Then we all have to come to the same decision, then.

CELESTIA: Yes, good luck reaching a peaceful consensus during the middle of an apocalypse!

BYAKUYA: I never said that it had to be a peaceful decision. If needed, you will all follow me kicking and screaming so I don’t perish thanks to your idiocy.

MONDO: I’ll knock some idiocy into ya if you keep runnin’ your mouth like that!

TAKA: Remember to take deep stomach breaths, bro! I think we can all solve this by utilizing a popular vote!

HIFUMI: But wouldn’t whoever’s the most popular win anyway??

HAJIME: SHUT UP!!! EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!!!

(Everyone stops talking and stares at Hajime, who’s trembling and has his face in his hands.)

JUNKO: Daaaaaaamn, rookie’s kinda bold to be screaming at us like that, huh?

MAKOTO: Junko… you’re not helping. He’s obviously overwhelmed and you’re just teasing him.

JUNKO: C’mon, I’m nowhere near him! Hahah!

(Makoto sighs, sitting down next to Hajime on the floor. The rest of the students talk amongst themselves.)

MAKOTO: ...I’m sorry. I know you didn’t ask to be here, but… for what it’s worth, I’m glad that you’re still alive somehow.

HAJIME: … 

MAKOTO: You know… when Mukuro found you unconscious in that class, we all thought you were one of Nagitos’ friends. You seemed too peaceful in your sleep to have been running from anybody, or hiding from anything.

HAJIME: ...then why did you help me?

KYOKO: We thought we could get some information about the outside world. But apparently, you're just as lost as the rest of us.

MAKOTO: A-and because we didn’t want to leave anything to chance. Even if you were one of his people, we didn’t want you to just be out there. I’m glad that you weren’t, though… it feels nice to meet someone new again.

(Hajime lifts his face from his hands, palms and face covered in tears. He looks at Makoto with a faint smile.)

HAJIME: Yeah… feels nice.

☘️ TO BE CONTINUED☘️

[krokonoko]

Got tagged by the one and only @northernscruffycat 💕

I tag whoever feels like doing this~

How many works do you have on AO3?

29, apparently? the account is REALLY old and has a lot of ancient crap on it tho lmao

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What’s your total AO3 word count?

128149! which is a lot, considering that I write almost exclusively oneshots.

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How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

10! I’m usually not a very active fic writer lol

video games: Elder Scrolls, Amnesia, Hitman, Dragon Age and Metal Gear Solid

live action movies and TV shows: Better Call Saul, Collateral and Edge of Tomorrow

cartoon and anime: Gravity Falls and Boku no Hero Academia

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What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Bait (Lalo/Nacho, Better Call Saul, 2.7k words. “just” a pwp, but it’s my baby, my beloved)

Ten Years Passed That Night (Bill+Rita, Edge of Tomorrow, 3.4k words. insanely popular by my standards, but also rly old and I don’t remember what happens in it. All I know is that it’s set post canon, Bill experiences an uncomfortable situation, instinctively tries to reset the day through suicide and almost kills himself in the process.)

a Collar by any other Name (Lalo/Nacho, Better Call Saul, 2.7k words. shameless dressing kink. came into existence on a bit of a whim. I think I wrote it down in one go (just like Bait! it seems like those kinda

Something to Hold On To (Lalo/Nacho, Better Call Saul, 4k words. more pwp with an excuse for a thematic red string holding the whole thing together asdfg)

Strange Attractors (Lalo/Nacho, Better Call Saul, 14k words. Lacho, but make it Groundhog Day. holy shit, when did this one get so many kudos?? it’s a very rare multichapter from me and paused atm cause I’m a fickle sob who can’t focus on one and the same thing for more than two weeks :/)

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Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

yeah man, of course! honestly every time I get a comment I can’t really believe it? I never had an opportunity to get used to feedback, so every person telling me they liked my writing brightens my day 🥺

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What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

probably A Cornered Dog. it might seem like Max has risen to power, but in reality, Vincent has (involuntarily) succeeded in turning him from a sweet, emotionally intelligent man into a cold, manipulative person, aka someone who can endure what Vincent puts him through.

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Have you ever received hate on a fic?

yeah, not even a week ago I got this huuuuuuge, longwinded comment on my Kacchako fic Plus One explaining to me in great detail why Bakugo being trans and Ochaco being bi completely ruined the story lmao

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Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do, but it's a fairly recent development! I mostly write m/m, but I have written m/f and I’m open to writing f/f smut too!

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Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of.

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Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah, one of my Collateral fics got translated into Russian. I think it was We All Die Alone.

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Have you ever co-written a fic before?

stealing Pandirpus’ answer: I’ve written a very fun Amnesia AU fic with @pandirpus Tabula Rasa - and to this day, it’s the longest and most research-intensive fic I’ve ever written in English.

another fic I’ve co-written is the fantastically smutty Rising Tides which I worked on with the absolute master of E rated content: @seanfiction. Rising Tides itself, and stay with me here, is a story written by Marcius, a character from one of my books. but it’s not just any story, it’s porn he wrote of himself and a certain reptilian man he’s into, but in an alternate universe where they’re both pirates. it’s amazing and ridiculously self-indulgent and I love it.

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What’s your all time favorite ship?

that’s really hard to say cause I ship a LOT. recently I think Lacho has a special place in my heart.

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What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

oh, DEFINITELY Strange Attractors! but the inspiration will have to come with the next season of BCS.

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What are your writing strengths?

rambling, lol? people tell me I’m good at building atmosphere.

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What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

maybe it’s the linguist in me speaking, but imho, if you wanna use a foreign language, you gotta treat it with respect. too many people treat foreign languages as nothing but sexy glitter you dust over your writing for decoration.

if you can, ask a native speaker for help. I try to do the same as often as I can. never, under ANY circumstances, rely on nothing but google translate. there are so many practical translation tools online, folks.

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What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Pokemon lol. when I was around 12yo or so I wrote like, half a dozen fics that were just self-inserts going on Pokemon journey and nothing else.

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What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

that’s probably Trip Wire. I feel like that one kinda got lost in the amount of Lacho fics I produced, never received any special attention, but I think it’s one of the best things I’ve ever written. it’s got exactly the kind of energy that I try to go for with p much all of my writing, but rarely give myself credit for achieving.

[catravandece]

give me the bingo from the top left down to the bottom right!! :D

:3333333

A fic you love without knowing the source material

this counts bc i only watched 5 episodes 10 years ago, Stilinski's Home For Wayward Wolves by owlpostagain (T, 35k; Teen Wolf; Stiles/Derek Hale). fuck if i ever truly knew what went on in teen wolf nor do i care for its genre of tv but fuck if i don't come back to read this like twice a year and cry over pack bonding.

A fic you'd print and put on your bookshelf

I am actually in the process of formatting The Starless Road by emilyenrose who sadly orphaned her account (T, 62k; The Silmarillion; Maedhros/Fingon). it's sat idle in my docs for a long time tho while i figure out page ornaments

FREE SPACE

Im gonna use this to plug the last fic i read and fuckign LOVED which is the wild geese by orange_crushed (E, 29k; Word of Honor; Ye Baiyi/Xie Wang). its a rare abo that actually rly liked, i've read this author's other yexie work and i think they capture the characters like [chefs kiss]

A fic that made you laugh out loud

This could be any number of fics so im gonna draw from a hat and choose when midnights break their sleep by SummerFrost (M, 16.7k; The Witcher; Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier). i dont even ship them rly but i remember jaskier's gremlin energy making me giggle like i was high at 4am

A fic that made you feel seen

throughline by lunatea (M, 81.5k; Modao Zushi; Lan Zhan/Wei Wuxian/Wen Ning). this fic just kinda like, laid out my fantasy of going from weird loner to beloved partner and idk i rly like it.

[hellguarded-a]

Morning Anon!! It's been a while, but I see you're feeling a bit down and definitely you deserve praise and admiration!! I've been reading all your cute hc's about Ignis and he's very cute and very inspiring. Tell us about how you came up with such a good concept!? One day I'll stop being shy and intimidated, and approach you for writing! Until then, know that I really enjoy you and your content and art on my dash! Please keep up the good work, you're doing wonderful!

ahah oh well i think that’s a little exaggeration but uhhHH sure history of this character go--

THREE YEARS AGO.  slowly creeping up on four, some fandom drama made me go fandomless, although i felt absolutely idea-less at the time and felt like i couldn’t really come up with a brand-new concept from the scratch, so i actually went through an extensive list of mythological monsters n was like...  what do i want to write...  because i was dead-set on writing a monster boy like the disappointment that i am

so i wanted something...  not just a species, but some specific creature from mythology and settled on cerberus.  so that’s what i originally wrote.  same url and everything.  was more fitting back then i think, but its still alright and i’m attached to it.  especially when i later saw someone using the url hellgvarded so i was like hehe i did it first

so, cerberus, right.  meaning i wanted to do something funky with some sort of split personality thing given the three heads n such.  well i...  couldn’t do it?  but partially i blame the fact that i couldn’t really connect with his muse in general, nor the world i put him in.  my plotting  /  shipping partner at the time didn’t really help that much.  it was very dull, set in a more cyberpunk-ish setting as compared to a modern parallel to today’s world as his canon is now, he was even supposed to have some cybernetic implants and such, not that i ever decided on those.  admittedly, that part then fuelled shinjou’s focus on that, but i digress.  his human alias was still ignis, his lover at the time was called  noctis  ( hint hint as to how i drew inspo for his brother lmao but really the name is the only connection because i liked the duality )  and he was still some sort of secret agent  /  police force thing, although i never decided on how he’s gotten to earth in that incarnation.  basically he really had no background or anything to him besides that.

so i abandoned that blog due to my inability to connect, and also partially because i managed to feel so completely overwhelmed on it within two days as it literally  exploded.  the promo got such immense traction for w/e reason that i had 200 followers within those two days, which sure it stroked my ego a lil but at the same time?  well first off, it barely let me settle in and also made me feel awful because i felt like i owed ppl a lot...  and i didn’t want to disappoint.  so many ppl jumped in on that concept and????  i actually didn’t have any muse for it?????  so rip.

so i dipped after that and made the  kitsune twins.  which stayed with me for another 2-3 years so i’d call that a success.  i still off-handedly write them on discord and at least one of them is actually important to ig’s canon.  or rather, i eventually revisitted ig to make him a plot device for  shinjou.  before  that, however, he still existed in the back of my mind in a prototype of what  the gonchiye  is today.  the gonchiye actually gave me a platform to revamp a lot of my old muses which i’m actually rly happy about, but.  anyway, back then it was a german-based organization called  die jagdhunde  ( same deal lmao )  but instead of being entirely supernatural based it was a group of humans actually hunting the supernaturals due to supersitions and stuff like that.  sometimes they’d capture some of them and force them to work for them, ig being one of those,  kalisha  being another.  it’s what made me lowkey ship them, but in the end ig ended up having a strong male preference so him and lisha are just kinda like bff’s in their current canon.  by then, i simply had ig as a regular hellhound rather than being cerberus himself as i wanted him to be  mine  rather than being a known mythology being, but he had no background nor development beyond the fact that he was  always  supposed to be a  mature, gentlemanly, but somewhat uptight individual with fire and shadow magic and the ability to phasewalk.  that’s all i had on him.

but again, i tend to hyperfixate so it didn’t become much more than a simple concept like many others, as i focused on the order of the lotus and the twins’ story.  but you know.  eventually i reached a stalemate and i had a lot of background for  shinzou,  but not his brother.  so that’s how the gonchiye became to be, being based on an ancient supernatural pit-fighting organization of which jou was once part of.  i involved  lucius  in all that, made him be the big bad, etc etc, and then had jou be bought off by the yakuza so that’s how he was raised.  i then really wanted a plot for him of infiltration and betrayal, but instead of making a whole new muse for that, i just took one of my old concepts and used that instead.  which was ig.

ig’s muse was also spurred by nata’s  ( @hellhunted )  desire to ship him with her falcon splice, which then alone led to further development of the gonchiye and their scientific endeavors.  anyway point being i made ig, as part of the gonchiye, infiltrate shinjou’s yakuza to get him assassinated, and the whole plague thing got added in a bit later, but it worked out alright.  again, one of my older concepts that i had in the twins’ old canon but wanted to reuse because i didn’t want to drop the idea completely.  so that’s how i got more involved in ig’s character, and then i finally lost the twins’ muses completely  ( much to my dismay, i miss them )  so i focused on ig?  it was surprisingly easy to connect to him afterwards and give him some background,  frankly  i don’t remember how i made him be a hellhound  /  fury  crossbreed  ( i do remember it being nata’s idea but i just don’t remember what prompted it ), but i  did  purposelly lowkey base him off of cerberus to stay true to his origins.  maybe it’s a little on-the-nose to have him be the  ‘son of cerberus’  but i’m honestly quite proud of my cerberus hc which makes it very flexible to work with.  similiarly, to how cerberus had an older brother called orthrus, i had always wanted ig to have a brother, so he  always  had a vague concept for one, so  nox  was around for a hot minute but again.  it took me a while to actually do anything concrete with him as a character.  originally, they were both hellhounds.  now ig is a crossbreed and nox is a pureblood fury.

n really then it was just a matter of writing on discord to get him to where he is now ---  i wrote him in private for about a year before bringing him on tumblr, but that’s how he came to be.  heavily inspired by the cerberus as we know him, and then adapted to my impending apocalypse canon.