#cw: biphobia

[one-sleepy-dragon]

I wish I could say this is true, but it's not. I went to Catholic school, and as a practicing Catholic, I can say that what I saw there still marked me to this day.

My best friend was the subject of a literal witch hunt on behalf of the teachers because she was bi. They were obsessed with proving she was a bad influence who was "turning other girls queer" or whatever. They even reached out to my parents and warned them that she and I spent a lot of time together, and that they should keep an eye out. They pulled other girls out of class and questioned them. My friend lived in a perpetual state of paranoia right up until graduation, because if the teachers said anything to her extremely religious father, we had no idea what he would do to her -- from cutting off child support to beating her, it was all plausible.

Another close friend of mine was going through a depressive episode, paired with a severe eating disorder and body image issues, and the teachers decided the best alternative was forcing her to eat everyday and denying her mental health treatment. They also traumatized her so thoroughly with the idea that sex is an inherently sinful thing that she's still affected to this day in her romantic relationships, still coping with extreme guilt, still unable to experience normal, healthy sexual intimacy.

So no, religious trauma isn't just "I was raised this way that I didn't like" or "I had to go to church and it was boring". Religious trauma is being so deeply scarred by other people's twisted fanaticism, so intricately shaped by their overzealous doctrine and abuse of power, that it takes you years to undo the damage caused by what they put you through. Religious trauma is something that affects you every day of your life, and reducing it to "a dramatic euphemism" is not only extremely disrespectful to those that struggle with it, it also goes directly against Christ's own teachings of empathy and compassion.

Person who experienced horrors so unimaginable they stagger the mind: God is good ^_^ <3

Person whose most painful hardship was a particularly bad stomach ache when they were 6: chr*st*ans are insane for worshiping a magic sky daddy who lets bad things happen for no reason

[ninadove]

Really love how people can still reblog my posts from users I’ve blocked, and add to the mille-feuilles of stupidity.

@staff — something for you to work on in future updates!

[piperslovebot]

Ross Geller is definitely one to buy into the stereotype about bisexuals being “cheaters”

[what-yadoking-likes]

My mom's drinking.

How do I know?

I have 2 PMs from her saying how she misses me, & have been tagged in several posts on Fae-s'buk.

I have been in the same country as her since June last year & can recall that she has only called me four/five times (4 of those times because she needed me to do something), & seen me about 6 times.

BUt yAdo wHY dON't YoU MeSsaGe heR

Because she exacerbates my anxiety. Because she is deliberately negative & overly critical whenever she is with me. She judges my every decision whether small & insignificant or life-changing. When I call her out she automatically reverts to being mean or saying how her childhood was bad (true, but it's always irrelevant to the topic at hand). She has consistently chosen men over her kids time after time. She has allowed her kids to live under the same roof as dangerous men. Her current boyfriend is racist, controlling & sexist. She makes no effort to understand me or my experiences. She only wants to know why my partner left HK abruptly because she is nosy. She tells us men can't change but hers has.

She has NEVER accepted my bisexuality. Hates how I go to others for help/support/comfort because she taught me I was "too sensitive" or "overreacting" or that she had it worse as a kid when I went to her. Hates how I have anxiety because she doesn't think I do. Depression the same. And she doesn't know about the PTSD but the math wouldn't be math'in if I said I thought she'd accept that. She thinks my sister's celiac disease & my lactose intolerance is put on & an awful inconvenience for her.

I might be her daughter, but I am not responsible for healing her. And I don't have to pursue a relationship with someone who contributed to & perpetuated my mental ill health. And I don't need to justify that to anyone, but sometimes it's cathartic to write it down and hit 'Post' because maybe, maybe someone out there feels the same & they deserve to feel less alone.

[ein-kleiner]

mmmm Maybe I need to touch grass but I'm going to have an aneurysm because people on /r/deltarune are seeing Ralsei and Noelle shipping and screeching because it's WRONG because she's a LESBIAN because ???????? It's kinda, like. Biphobic. I don’t know what they’re talking about if it isn’t “Because she isn’t currently showing attraction to multiple genders, she MUST be a lesbian”

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

Unsurprisingly, one kiss in an alleyway behind some bins doesn't fix your problems. Previous part is here, I skipped Castafiore's introduction because I animated it here!

This is part of my story, The House of Glass. Poor Chang is going through it in this one.

[nothingtoseehere00-00]

Just imagine Steve figuring out he's bisexual and realizing that when he dates a girl, at a certain point into dating them, he's gonna have to tell them that he's also into men. Of course since it's the 80s, the chances of them being okay with that is probably slim. They might think he's disgusting or that he's just gay playing straight.

So he tries dating guys instead, thinking that's safer. And he ends up meeting a great guy named John at a gay bar who he really likes. Things are going strong until they started talking about past crushes and first loves. Steve casually mentions celebrity crushes on women and having loved Nancy. And thus Steve gets his first ever experience of the rampant biphobia in queer spaces. John accuses Steve of being confused and trying to hold onto his "straightness". Steve tries to explain himself by saying that, no, he really does like women, but that only makes things worse. John now believes that Steve is just going to eventually leave him for a woman, if he hasn't already been cheating on him. John ends up storming out leaving Steve devastated.

He goes crying to Robin and explains what happened. He's horrified to realize that no matter who he dates, there's always going to be the risk of them not accepting him, guy or girl. But he can't hide that part of himself, it's too big. It's who he is. Robin is there to reassure him that if someone can't accept him being bi than they don't deserve him. It's able to cheer him up a little, but the damage has been done.

Steve is now very reluctant to date anyone. And if he does manage to bring himself to go on one, he gets complaints of being very emotionally distant or having a fear of commitment.

When Steve inevitably falls for Eddie, he's scared out of his mind. It's clear that Eddie is gay based on his hanky, but, again, that doesn't mean he'll accept Steve's bisexuality. One night, while the two get so high in Eddie's trailer that Steve has to stay over, they argue about sleeping arrangements. Eddie keeps insisting that Steve would probably be more comfortable with Eddie sleeping in another room for some cryptic reason and Steve, who gets incredibly clingy while high, keeps shooting back with them sharing a bed being fine. When Steve keeps asking why they can't over and over again, Eddie blurts out that it's because he's gay. Without hesitation, Steve's says he knows and points at the hanky on the dresser by the bed. Staring at Steve for a moment, Eddie then asks how he knows about the hanky code. This time Steve hesitates. For awhile. It honestly scares Eddie for a moment, thinking he's been vecnad. If Steve hadn't been high, he maybe would have been able to think of an excuse, some way to get out of this conversation, but he can't. So he admits that he likes guys.

Eddie very excitedly starts asking a bunch of questions and talking about how they finally found something they have in common, who knew? When he notices the tears in Steve's eyes, he stops, confused, and asks what's wrong. So Steve tells him. He's not like Eddie. He's bisexual. And he braces himself for the backlash. For loosing his best friend and crush.

But then he feels a hand grab his. Eddie tells him that they still have something in common because he's also bi. Steve points out that he said he was gay, though. Eddie asks if he has ever told anyone that he was bi before, specifically gay men. Steve nods. Then he asks if it went well. Steve shakes his head. Eddie tells him that's why he said that. He's explains how tiring it is to have to explain his existence to people who won't get it and/or react badly to it. So he just tells guys that he's also gay. It just makes things easier. And Steve gets it. By God, does he get it. They spend the whole night exchanging stories and experiences, for the first time able to talk freely about their love life.

And by the end of the night, they stumble over each other trying to ask the other out. They laugh and both say yes.

[wordsinhaled]

Thinking about Charles and his absolutely massive and enduring desire for praise... It makes me unwell, because it is everywhere, sprinkled throughout the entire season from the very beginning, and it isn't subtle at all.

Charles has this very clear thing where he is always expecting to be doubted—this really deep fear of fucking up. We see it come through especially hard with Monty specifically, actually. Something about Monty cawing at him, before Monty even becomes a person who ignores Charles' handshake and clearly prefers Edwin - seems to grind on Charles' nerves. (And, just to note, when Monty does pointedly ignore Charles introducing himself, Charles right away goes to wondering if he'd done something wrong: "I was polite, wasn't I?" and Crystal reassures him, "Yeah. You did good." Everyone can see it. Everyone can see what he needs, even Crystal, who just met him like, a week ago.)

Maybe Monty's cawing reminds Charles of his own unceasing and grating inner voice that says: You're bad, Charles. You're wrong, Charles. You're not enough, Charles. You're too angry, always too angry. Too broken, too weak, too unserious, too useless, too fake, too dangerous and everyone can see it. Who do you think you're fooling? Shut up and quit smiling about it and take what you deserve, which is nothing.

The fact that at the beginning, Monty isn't a person yet, he's just a bird, makes it extra-clear it's straight-up just Charles' insecurities coming through, provoked by his perception of being belittled, his fear of being not good enough, of being not-good period.

He was never good enough, when he was alive. He could never reach a point that pleased his dad properly, permanently. He could never reach a point where he fit in with the other lads, and eventually they turned on him. He chose to protect someone who was like him, different and defenseless and scared and alone, and it got him killed.

Edwin tells Charles he knows he can open the lock, and even that's still not enough to quell the little voice inside that says he's being doubted. And we get, "Yes, I can, crow, you'll see." He has to prove himself. To whom? To a bird?

Or is this his way of speaking, indirectly, to Edwin in that moment? Of trying to say, You're right, I can do it, you'll see. Your faith in me isn't misplaced. You weren't wrong to be kind to me in that attic thirty years ago. I can earn you if I keep being good. I deserve it. Please believe me.

(He doesn't grasp that Edwin already thinks Charles is the best person he knows. That he deserves everything good in the world and doesn't have to prove a single thing to be loved, adored, cherished. All he has to do is exist.)

And then: "Keep mocking me, crow. I'll make you my friend eventually. Everyone likes me. I'm a good sort of chap."

There it is again, the need to be good. the need to be liked. The need to be a good sort. Not a bad sort because if he's fundamentally bad then maybe he can make some sort of sense of why he's been hurt so much. Maybe that's why his dad did what he did to him; maybe that's why he got stoned and drowned to death. If everyone likes him eventually, he can keep from getting hurt again. if he's good it means he didn't deserve what was done to him and the world was wrong for it. (And indeed, when Monty seems to ally with him later, on the Case of the Creeping Forest, Charles points out to Edwin that everyone likes him eventually - an echo of what he'd told Monty at the beginning, but he's saying it to Edwin - as if to say, You see? I'm good enough for people. You were right to believe in me. I can be good enough for others so maybe I can be good enough for you, too.

But all of that, it's really still just Charles kidding himself; he knows better. If someone likes him, if he's convinced someone he's good, if someone—what the fuck—if someone is in love with him, like, romantically? It has to be a joke, or temporary. If it is real, he'll slip up somewhere soon enough and mess it all up, like he always does. Forever-love is something that happens for other people, not for Charles Rowland.

It's just a matter of which mistake he's going to make next. Was I too brown? Too weak? Too sensitive? Too compassionate? Too counterculture? Did I think about a bloke the same way I think about girls, in my head where no one can even hear? Which flavor of fuck-up will I be today, dad? Which one will I be tomorrow, world?

This post is getting a bit long, but I'll just point out Charles' relationship to making mistakes, since it comes up already in the second episode, after he breaks the enchanted vessel at the dandelion shrine. Important to note that Edwin doesn't actually tell him off for doing it at all; he just looks shocked it happened, and then explains it to Crystal as a statement of facts: 'We found the vessel; Charles dropped the vessel; now we need the vessel to trap the sprites.' He sounds a bit terse, maybe, but it's nothing much, for how blustery Edwin can often get when he really means to.

But Charles shouts at himself immediately when he drops the vessel; he goes to beating himself up, internally, instantly. And then, when they are explaining the situation to Niko, he's visibly bracing for his own part in messing it up, you can see it on his face - his mouth thins into a line, he's rolling his eyes, he's ready to be the fuck-up, so to speak, the reason everything went tits-up. When Crystal gets frustrated about him having dropped the vase, he gets apologetic - "Didn't mean to!" - and then defensive - "All right, all right, no need for you lot to pile on!"

What 'you lot' does he really mean? Edwin's actually being pretty reserved with the telling-off, in this instance. And yes, Crystal's annoyed with him for it. But I'm willing to bet a huge part of what's making him feel so on edge is the loud, loud, loud inner voice that's been punishing him since it happened. And then! He goes straight to fixing the situation—in a really ingenious way! In a way that completely compensates for his mistake, and solves their problem, and has Edwin awestruck praising him just minutes later.

And that's the thing, isn't it? The thing is Charles is brilliant. He's creative, artistic, and inventive, he thinks on his feet, he says he's the brawn because it's what he thinks he has to be to have worth in their partnership, but he's equally as often the brains. He creates loopholes, he survives by being convincing, in fact he makes himself a walking exception to the rules of the narrative by sheer power of will, when he becomes an Orpheus analogue who defies the text of the Orpheus and Eurydice myth he never even finished, and successfully saves Edwin from hell.

How often had Charles done this in life? Worked so hard to make up for even the tiniest mistakes, real or perceived, in ways that blatantly try to overcompensate for being weak, undeserving, wrong, inherently bad? How hard did he—does he still—overwork himself with his mental gymnastics; his insistence on placing himself in physical danger for others because it's the least he can do to be worth their time and attention and esteem; his suppression of every emotional impulse he thinks makes him awful and unsavory?

All he wants, so bad that it informs his every decision, is to be told he's good.

Each time it happens, it's like a tiny, pleasant surprise. And like an awful little game he plays with the world. Can he get people to think he deserves their kindness? Has he finally earned it? Now how can he keep it? Can he do enough sleight-of-hand with his cricket bat that they'll look past all his flaws and see something to love in him?

Each time he gets a kind word, a little morsel of praise, it's like, maybe it'll finally sink in this time—but he's not exactly holding his breath. Just like he's never enough, neither is there ever reassurance enough. Soon he needs it again. And again. And again.

And so it goes. To the point where he can't help but be so transparent about it that his praise thing can be seen from space.

[badaziraphaletakes]

These are very good thoughts, thank you!

While that probably does happen sometimes, I would VASTLY have preferred they show how hard it usually is to get free from an ab*sive partner.

I hate how that storyline just sort of got dropped.

I don’t have a fully fleshed-out post about this yet, but I’ve been thinking a lot about the way GO, especially GOS2, treats ab*se and ab*se victims. There were a lot of things about this aspect of the show and the way it was written that haven’t felt right to me all along.

Now I know why.

[nqueso-emergency]

Nice to know biphobic posts are alive and well... *gags*

[shapelytimber]

Hiii, I just wanted to know if ppl are allowed to headcanon Boba, Lando, Leia, Luke, Obi-Wan and Padme from your sapphic AU as lesbians? I really love the story and the designs so I don't wanna make my own, but I also really don't like straights in my queer media and I noticed those 6 aren't fully queer in ur AU ^_^' I saw u answered an ask abt this already but I promise I'm not biphobic, I just have trauma from men and don't rly wanna be around people who like them cuz it's kinda danger by proxy y'know

No. Fuck you. Sorry about your trauma but that's not an excuse to be a biphobic little bitch

Also why do I have the feeling you are soooo normal about trans people ?

[lizardsfromspace]

Sometimes you wonder how far Very Online discourse can go before it becomes total gibberish; a melange of au courant buzzwords & misapplied theory so inscrutable it turns into utter raving lunacy, so untethered to any reality not even people on the same "side" can process it

Then you see someone on Twitter having a prolonged fight about how "bisexuals are the Israel of sexualities" and you're like. That's it. That's the edge

[ninadove]

Way to prove my point. Thank you 🌈✨🐝

The fact that some people started celebrating “the end of Bumbleby” minutes after the news came out really goes to show how much work still needs to be done regarding queer representation

[galedekarios]

love how ppl constantly invalidate gale's bisexuality

[forsapphics]

Lani Kaʻahumanu being interviewed by Mason Funk (The OUTWORDS Archive) in Cazadero, CA, USA (July 25, 2016)

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

hi! loving your art. I was watching your awesome stories/gifs and I was wondering: how did Chang develop his feelings for Tintin? Did he discover them before or after him? How did he react and why? (English is not my first language so if you see a grammatical mistake, I'm sorry. Also, sorry if so many questions made you feel like you were in a philosophy exam)

Thank you so much! As a contrast to the rest of the Marlinspike team I'm writing Chang as someone who makes friends and develops crushes pretty easily!

I imagine he's had a crush on Tintin for some time, possibly from when they first met. He's been at the mercy of his circumstances for most of his life until that point - Tintin basically makes him feel capable of doing stuff.

He's pretty heartbroken after the Blue Lotus. Tintin doesn't contact him for years. Chang is struggling to adjust to his new family and is failing at school, having missed out on a good education for a few years prior. Until Tibet he feels pretty hopeless, he will never live up to the time when he took down a drug ring.

His near death experience in Tibet shakes him out of this rut. He starts to travel and take up hobbies like dance and photography. Didi trains him in some basic martial arts. Tintin makes an effort to actually stay in touch this time. Chang has some abandonment issues as he's frequently lost people throughout his life, so he's someone who's willing to give people second chances, even if they've hurt him badly. Chang thinks he's well over his crush on Tintin when he comes around to Belgium for his studies, but falls for him again very quickly!

Unlike Tintin, Chang is a lot more comfortable with who he is. He's used to being the odd one out and has generally low expectations for himself, so just goes with the flow.

Below I talk a little with how I'm going about writing him and the historical context surrounding this, cw for mentions of racism (sinophobia) and queerphobia:

I'm writing Chang as bi, I thought it would be interesting to explore as Asian men were perceived differently in the 30s compared to today. While Asian men in the West are currently heavily desexualised in the early 20th century they were stereotyped as predatory and deviant. In London a lot of Chinese immigrants were male dockworkers, so when they married white women there was a lot of fearmongering about predatory and disloyal Chinese men.

A lot of depictions of Asian men in Western media reflected these stereotypes (and often used queercoding to push the idea of Asian men being animalistic seducers - General Henry Chang in Shanghai Express (1932) was written to be bisexual while posing as a threat to the white leads). Some examples off the top of my head include Hishuru Tori from The Cheat (1915) and The Mask of Fu Manchu (1932). Novels frequently depicted Chinese drug lords with borderline supernatural powers in manipulation.

On the other hand I've noticed how fans frequently depict Chang as someone who's submissive, demure and soft, which ignores how ridiculously brave and proactive he is in canon (stealing documents from police officers, charging into a man immediately after getting shot at by a machine gun, I could go on!). It's a common example of Fandom Racism (not accusing anyone specifically, it's just a trend I've noticed.)

When writing Chang I'm kinda reckoning with two different eras. From a contemporary angle I'm writing him as a love interest, which as an Asian guy I rarely see in media today. I also gotta consider his own time and context, how he would navigate being a queer Chinese guy, and how that would affect his relationship with others and himself.