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comicgeekscomicgeek · 4 years ago

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Chapter 75: Let’s Get This Show on the Road

Presenting the next installment of my on-going, nextgen, MHA fic! Earlier chapters can be found here

Some are mine, but a decent chunk of the 1-C kids in this chapter were created by tumblr user and number one fic fan on tumblr @uninvited-eon

“Okay everyone, gather ‘round!” Itsuka Tetsutetsu called out to her class. Around the common room, the sixteen students of Class 1-C began to gather, some listlessly, some begrudgingly, but none of them eagerly. Her heart ached for them.

Whereas Aizawa and Super-Ball’s classes had passed their Final Exam… her class had failed.

She felt a strong measure of guilt over that. They were only the second group of students she’d shepherded through U.A. and she could not help but feel like she’d failed them somehow. Had she not trained them well enough? Had she not stressed the need for teamwork and cooperation, of thinking things through? They’d all done well in their Heroics Class and two of them had even made it to the Tournament round of the Sports Festival. And yet, when it had come down to it, victory had slipped from their grasp. Aizawa and Fujii had both told her she wasn’t to blame, as had her husband, but she still felt the sting of failure. She’d already vowed to do better by her kids. She’d already been working on new ideas for the next term.

“Yes, Sensei?” Yoru Kan, tall, buff, and pale, asked from her spot on one of the couches. It was strange to think her old teacher had a daughter the same age as Itsuka’s own child, but such was life sometimes.

“I know you’re all upset about not getting to go to the Training Camp with the other classes,” Itsuka said.

Ichigo Minoru, the lion-like Class Representative, growled. “We should have done better.”

This earned him a glare from the pink-haired Momoko Hohki, who blew a gum-bubble generated by her Quirk, popping it noisily. “You want to say that again, Fuzzball?” The two had never really gotten along. Hohki had… issues with authority.

“I’m just saying we could have done better,” Minoru said. He held up furry hands. She knew he bore the loss heavily as well, taking it quite personally. He was brave and selfless, but he had to be wondering if his leadership skills hadn’t been up to snuff. “That’s all.”

“I think we all know who screwed up,” Kan said gruffly, crossing her arms.

Ayahiko Akiyama pushed his glasses up, the red frames standing out against skin that was even paler than Kan’s. “Well, it sure wasn’t me.” His color-manipulating Quirk had been useful during the exam, unleashing wildly shifting color patterns to disorient some of their foes, but the lack of responsibility was typical too. She and the other teachers hadn’t been able to get him to step up just yet. They were giving it time, but he’d either shape up for ship out.

“Like hell it wasn’t,” Reiki Akamatsu snapped, the green quills along her head bristling. “You and Enoshima both! Throwing up your damn light shows so we couldn’t see!”

Hitomi Enoshima, whose Kaleidoscope Vision Quirk made looking her in the eyes dangerous, took offense with that. “I told you to get out of the way! Not my fault you didn’t listen!”

“Shouting “get out of the way, losers!” doesn’t count as telling people to get out of the way,” Kin Shiji snapped. The parts of his face that weren’t patches of metallic gold were flush with irritation.

“Can we… can we not fight?” Shika Mizuno asked. The antlered girl bowed her head and closed her eyes. She was gentle and soft-spoken, reminding Itsuka very much of her friend and former classmate Komori. Trying to play peacemaker when the more outspoken members of the class fought was common for her.

Unfortunately, Mizuno’s words did little to quell the arguments brewing. Sides were taken, insults shouted, and things started getting loud very quickly.

Employing her Quirk, Itsuka enlarged her hands and brought them together in a singular clap that resonated throughout the room. It left some of the Class holding their ears, especially the lion-like Minoru and the bear-like Tsukiko Kuma. But it did its job and silenced them all for a moment.

“Sorry about that,” she said, reducing the size of her hands back to normal. “But I could tell that was going to get ugly. And fighting amongst yourselves is part of why you failed the exam.” There had been so much arguing, so many strong-willed hot heads in her class determined to do things their own way. They’d gotten in each other’s way during the exam, hadn’t coordinated properly, and ultimately the faux-Villains had gotten away with their target.

“You’ve got potential,” she said. “I believe in you. But there’s a lot we need to work on. Which is why, while the other Hero classes are at their Training Camp, we’re going to be having one here at the USJ. Water Spout, Doc Clock, and I will be putting you through your paces from pretty much sunup to sundown, with a particular focus on teamwork and collaboration.”

She frowned. “Failing your exam is a big deal. But it’s one you can come back from, with hard work. I believe in all of you. Which is why I also arranged for some extra help with your additional training.”

At that, the doors burst open. “Woooo! Who’s ready for some training?!”

Itsuka pinched the bridge of her nose. “Tetsu, I told you to wait outside until I texted you.”

Her husband blushed and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, ‘suka. Got done dropping Kana off and got bored… figured you’d be ready by now.”

It was going to be a long two weeks.

***

Nearly all of Class 1-A and Class 1-B had already assembled by the time Katsumi arrived. She’d been rather insisted that she and Dad not arrive together. It was going to be enough of a pain having him as one of her teachers, but she could live with that. This was a practical matter of asserting her own independence. And there was some small part of her that wanted to take in everyone’s reactions when they found out about him. Maybe she ought to get her phone ready. Depending on how people reacted, she could get a new ringtone out of it.

Izzy gave her a polite nod as she approached. “It is good to see you, Katsumi,” she said.

“Good to see you too, Iz,” she replied. Thoughts of her dad’s promise to push all of them hard ran though her mind. She’d spent years thinking of Izzy as fragile and in need of protection. Even if the last few months of U.A. had told her otherwise, her first instinct was always going to be to protect her friend. Even if she and Iz weren’t romantically compatible, she loved her still, as the most important person in her life. “All set for roughing it?”

Izzy closed her eyes and nodded. “I believe so,” she said. “My parents were concerned, of course, but ultimately convinced that I would be in good hands.”

Of course they were. Katsumi nearly rolled her eyes. Izzy’s parents were crazy protective sometimes. Nearly all the time, actually. She’d have thought they’d have learned by now. Best not to think about it, it would just make her angry.

“Any idea where they’re taking us?” she asked instead. Even without Villains after the Hero classes, U.A. had stopped publicizing the location of its Training Camps years ago. It was a lot safer that way. Not that she’d been able to get anything out of Dad. He’d cited “tradition” as being the reason he couldn’t tell her. She was also sure getting on her nerves was also one of the reasons.

Izzy shook her head. “I am afraid I have no idea. We shall just have to see.”

Katsumi just laughed. “Ah, well. Worth a shot.”

In the meantime, she could see the Class Representatives making the rounds, with Toshi and Tokyami talking to the members of their class, and Kana and Awase talking to theirs. She could see Aizawa too, off to the side and in consultation with 1-B’s teacher, Super-Ball. She couldn’t hear what was being said, but Aizawa was giving the rubber-bodied Hero a death glare and looking like he wanted to be absolutely anywhere else on the planet. Super-Ball was talking animatedly and occasionally elbowing Aizawa in the side. Given what she’d heard about Super-Ball, her sympathy was entirely with Aizawa.

“Five hundred yen says Aizawa wraps his head up to stop him from talking,” she said to Izzy.

Izzy shook her head again. “What is it you would say? “That’s a sucker’s bet?’”

Katsumi laughed again. “You are listening.” She doubted Izzy had ever seen that small an amount of money in her life anyway.

Around them, most of the class was in its usual friendship groups. She could see Shinso babbling to Haimawari, who was indulging the hyperactive, purple-haired kid, nodding occasionally at whatever he was going on about. Sero, Sato, and Ojiro were talking as always, probably discussing content for their damned web show. The Iida twins and the new girl with the wings, Kocho, were watching the discussion with something somewhere between amusement, fascination, and confusion. Mineta was talking to Koda, while Aoyama and Shoji stood a little bit apart from the rest of the class. One person she did notice was missing though. It wasn’t until she looked around until she noticed…

“Hey, Iz?” Katsumi asked.

“Yes?”

“Why the hell is Kaminari hanging out with Monoma?” Izzy was friends with the electric dumbass. There was a decent chance she’d known what was going on.

“I cannot say,” Izzy told her.

“But you know,” she pressed.

“Chihiro has asked that I not speak of it.”

“…What.”

***

“What?” Chihiro asked, as Monoma slipped the bracelet around her wrist. It had been made in the kumihimo style, she could tell, yellow with just a little bit of black in it, like her hair. She wasn’t sure they were at the gift-giving stage of… whatever it was exactly they were doing. They’d gone out once.

Which had been nice, she actually had to admit. Nothing fancy, just a walk and some ice cream, but he’d turned out to be surprisingly good company. When he wasn’t being a competitive asshole or didn’t have Kirishima-Bakugo around to rile him up, he could actually be a decent guy, and even pretty funny. He was smarter than her, that much was sure, and ridiculously well-read, but he didn’t lord it over her and listened when she talked, especially about music, he actually asked questions and wanted to know more. He’d been more encouraging during that walk that he’d been in the entirety of the time she’d known him before.

More vulnerable too. He’d been damn close to quitting before he’d talked to her. And then there was the way he talked about his classmates and how much potential he saw in all of them…

She was beginning to understand what Mika had seen in the guy. Granted, Mika’s type was “alive,” but she was actually beginning to see why Koda willingly associated with him.

They’d talked on the phone and texted more on top of that. She’d actually found herself looking forward to it. Chihiro was well aware she was no amazon with pneumatic boobs like Mika or Sora Iida, or even a girly fashionista like Ojiro. She was relatively plain, her curves barely there. She was fit, but hardly a paragon of physical fitness, and she was never going to be the smartest person on the planet. Even her Quirk wasn’t that impressive without lots of Support Gear.

Having someone actually interested in her, for who she was, when there were so many other better options available was still a surprise.

“It’s a gift,” Monoma said. “I made it myself.” He smiled, sheepishly. “I watch a lot of tutorials on Viewtube, so I can pick up other skills. You never know when it might come in handy. Besides, it’s more than that. It’s a promise.”

“A promise of what?” Chihiro cast a few nervous glances around. Someone—Ojiro probably—was probably already noticing she’d been talking with Monoma for a while now and speculating wildly. Several of Class 1-B were definitely already looking at her.

She wasn’t exactly as embarrassed by the thought of people finding out she was dating him as she’d have thought, but she’d kind of wanted to control the message. But he’d been so insistent on giving her the bracelet before the busses arrived…

“It’s an apology too, for my earlier behavior, but it is a promise,” Monoma said, “that I won’t kiss you again.” He leaned in close, and his voice dropped to a whisper. “Until you kiss me first.” She was pretty sure she heard Fukidashi gasp.

Well, wasn’t that presumptuous of him? Why was he so pretty when he was being so arrogant? “Don’t,” she breathed, her Cords rising up reflexively, sparks dancing on the tips, “don’t you mean “unless?’”

He gave her one of those all too confident smiles, his eyes practically twinkling. “Giving up on us so soon?”

Chihiro flushed red and couldn’t find the words to respond to that.

***

Toshi looked down at the clipboard he was carrying, nodded, and looked over to Asuka. “That everybody?” he asked.

“It is,” Asuka told him, checking her own clipboard. Frog-Shadow was sitting on her shoulder, looking vaguely bored. “Everyone’s here, everyone’s luggage is accounted for, and the buses should be here in about ten minutes.”

“Good,” he said. Being Class Representative came with a lot of responsibilities, but his classmates made it easy. None of them put him through half has much as their parents’ class had put Uncle Tenya through. The worst he usually had to do was keep Katsumi from killing Mineta when the latter was being particularly aggravating or mediate a conflict between Aoyama and Sero. It helped that he’d known the majority of them for years and understood their eccentricities.

“Okay!” Toshi called out. “Everybody listen up!” It took a moment—Sero was being especially chatty—but eventually, everyone did quiet down, with Kaminari hurriedly joining the group at the end.

“Thank you,” Asuka told them. “Toshi and I both want you to know we expect all of you to be on your best behavior during the Training Camp. Aizawa-Sensei wishes for us to emphasize that there will be severe consequences for misbehavior.”

“He was really scary when he said it!” Frog-Shadow piped in.

“He was,” Toshi agreed, shuddering at the memory. “But I know you’re all mature, responsible individuals who can be counted on not to do anything stupid.”

“How’d you manage to say that right a straight face, Toshi?” Katsumi asked, arms crossed, grinning smugly.

“It wasn’t easy,” he admitted. “Now, any last questions?”

Mineta’s hand went up.

“That aren’t about fraternization during the camp?”

Mineta’s hand went down. Toshi breathed a sigh of relief.

He turned around and looked over to where Aizawa and Super-Ball were. “All set,” he called out. He heard Kana Tetsutetsu do the same.

The two teachers walked over so they were standing in front of the two classes. “Thanks, Class Reps!” Super-Ball said, grinning broadly. He spread his arms in an expansive gesture. “Is everybody ready for a summer of fun?!”

Silence greeted him.

“That’s right!” 1-B’s teacher went on, as though they’d responded. “Well that’s too bad, because Aizawa canceled all the fun. Your friendly neighborhood bouncing ball tried to talk him out of it, but well, you try arguing with that face. C’mon, make the face, Aizawa.”

Aizawa’s expression did not change.

“Yeah,” Super-Ball said. “That’s the one. Seriously, though, you guys are gonna work really hard. But I know you can do it, and you’re gonna be better for it! And we’ve got one extra surprise for you. You want to take this one, Aizawa?”

“Right,” Aizawa said flatly. “In addition to Fujii and myself, your new Heroics teacher will also be accompanying us.”

A dozen plus conversations broke out among the two classes, as they began to speculate who that might be. Toshi had known that with Grandpa Might becoming the new principal, they were looking to fill the slot, but he hadn’t known for sure that anyone had accepted the job. The weird thing was, neither Katsumi nor Shota seemed surprised by the news.

“Who is it?” Rika Bondo, the blue slime girl from 1-B, asked.

“That’s be me.”

“Uncle Kachan?!” Toshi stammered out. Uncle Kachan had appeared almost out of nowhere, no less stealthy for his recent injury. He was dressed comfortable, in civilian clothes, but still looked ready to take on any challenge that might come his way. There was the slightest of limps to his step, but you had to be really looking to notice it.

But never, in a million years, would he have thought he’d be their new teacher!

Someone had let out a girlish shriek. “Oh, man, Monoma!” Anime Fukidashi giggled. “You should have seen the look on your face!”

“Oh no, oh no, oh no, we’re all going to die,” Sero wailed. He’d gone a distinctly paler shade of pink.

“Well,” Toshi heard Izumi say, “this is unexpected.”

“This is… wow…” Haimawari trailed off.

“Guys? Seriously? I think Monoma’s broke. He hasn’t moved for, like, a minute.” Fukidashi’s voice carried over all the others. “Tetsutetsu, maybe you want to smack him?”

“I’m fine, dammit!” Monoma snapped. All eyes were instantly on him. He gulped nervously. “My… apologies, Senseis.”

Uncle Kachan didn’t seem to care and Aizawa was as impassive as ever.

“Breathe, kid,” Super-Ball said. “He’s legally prohibited from killing you.” He winked. “But you’d be surprised what you can live through.”

Uncle Kachan looked over at Aizawa. “Is he always like this?”

Aizawa just sighed. “This is actually one of his more sedate days.”

“And you didn’t think to mention that, you sorry excuse for a hobo?!”

“If I have to suffer, so do you.”

“You two do know I can hear you, right?” Super-Ball asked, though he didn’t sound offended. “And so can they? The impressionable children?”

Uncle Kachan sighed, then turned his attention to them. “I’m not big on speeches. So I’m just letting you all know now, All Might was the good cop. I’m the bad cop. And I’m gonna work you all like you’ve never been worked before!”

Several of the students gasped. Toshi was pretty sure he saw Monoma look faint. Katsumi just grinned that grin she did before she punched someone.

Anything else was cut off as the automated buses arrived, one of which seemed a bit larger than the other, probably to accommodate Kentaro Fukui, the nearly three meters tall member of 1-B. “About time,” Aizawa said. “Get your luggage loaded and then get on the bus. Class 1-A in the first bus, Class 1-B in the second. We leave in ten, with or without you.”

***

It didn’t take long for the buses to get underway. Aizawa was seated in the front of the bus, Uncle Katsuki in the back. The various couples in the class were sitting together, as were the usual friends like Chihiro and Mineta and Isamu and Shota, while Asuka was sitting with their new classmate Kocho. Their odd numbers meant that Shoji was sitting alone, though he didn’t seem bothered by it. And, of course, Izumi was sitting with Katsumi.

Izumi turned to look at her friend. “So,” she said, “I am assuming you knew about this?”

Katsumi smirked at that. “Oh yeah. All Might offered him the job a couple of days after the break started. He thought about it for maybe a day tops before he said yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

That earned her another smirk from Katsumi. “You didn’t ask.”

A smile spread across Izumi’s face and a small giggle escaped her lips. “That is true,” she said. “I did not.”

“Besides,” Katsumi added, “he swore me to secrecy.”

Uncle Katsuki would certainly be a… different teacher than All Might, she was sure. But he was Japan’s Number Four Hero, with numerous Villain captures and cases solved behind him. The media often liked to paint him as a volatile brawler, but she knew there was far more to him than that.

Izumi nodded. “He has a wealth of experience to offer. I am sure he will take to the role readily.” More importantly, Izumi was glad to see that Uncle Katzuki was doing well and getting back to something approximating normal. With traumatic injuries like he had experienced, it took a truly exceptional individual to come back from them. But then again, her father often said that Uncle Katsuki had “more guts than sense.” She was reasonably certain that he had not meant it was a compliment—especially as her mother had swatted him for saying it—but guts were definitely required here.

“Yeah, well…” Katsumi trailed off. Her dear friend rarely allowed herself to be vulnerable, and even here, it was only for the briefest of moments. “Beats having him mope around the house while he’s taking medical leave.”

Medical leave, not retirement. That was potentially promising sounding. “They are hopeful for a more functional prosthetic?” Katsumi had told her that her father’s Quirk made traditional prosthetics unwieldy for long term use, but that Doctor Shield and Mei Hatsume were working on a better one.

Katsumi shrugged. “Nothing yet. They really don’t know if he’ll ever…” Her voice started to crack, but she was fighting it. She so hated to show weakness in front of anyone, even her.

Izumi reached over and gave her friend’s hand a squeeze. Katsumi returned the grip, mindful that Izumi was not as strong as she. No other words needed to be said. As always, they would have each other’s back.

“But yeah,” Katsumi went on, her tone shifting back to something more in line with her usual self, “in the meantime, he’s going to make everybody here’s life hell.” She looked around the bus. “Pretty sure Aoyama and Sero might die. Maybe Monoma too.” That caused her to snicker. “Did you see his face?”

“I did,” Izumi said, her tone carefully neutral. She did not wish to encourage Katsumi’s delight in the misfortunate of others, though that was probably a battle she would not win. But Uncle Katsuki would likely be an unrelenting taskmaster, and she knew she could expect no favors or special treatment due to her friendship with Katsumi or her own limitations.

Limitations she would not have were it not for her grandfather.

No. She could not dwell on that now. She had learned much, but she was still deciding what to do with that information. Izumi had not even mentioned her visit with her grandfather to her parents. Mercifully, Chihiro and Mineta had not pressed her for details, respecting her privacy. Soon, she hoped, when she had time to grapple with the reality of it, she would tell her friends. But for now, she needed to focus on getting stronger. She would need all her wits about her for the camp ahead.

***

“Anxious?” Asuka asked Kocho. Frog-Shadow was dozing on her lap. Long rides always had that effect on her familiar. She knew their new classmate was already friends with Toshi, Haimawari, Sero, Ojiro, and Sato, but as elected Vice-Representative and unofficial “Class Mom”, she too had a duty to reach out to her, so she’d volunteered to sit with her for the bus ride while the others paired off. Frog-Shadow had been upset that she wasn’t going to sit next to Shoji, but her other half had to learn that, even with their increased cooperation, she couldn’t always get what she wanted.

The moth-girl shook her head. “Yes,” she said. “Sorry, did I just contradict myself?” Her wings were folded around her as much as she could make them, taking up the majority of her seat.

“A bit,” Asuka told her. “But understandable. Are you comfortable? I don’t mind pulling up the arm rest.”

“I’m fine,” Kocho said. “Little close, but it doesn’t hurt. This is still nicer than taking the city bus.” She gave Asuka a reassuring smile.

Asuka flipped up the armrest anyway and Kocho let her wings spread out a small amount. “I won’t say your anxiety is unwarranted,” she said. The truth of others experiences and feelings was not open for debate. “But this is very standard for the Hero Courses. They find a few Heroes or a Hero team from outside the school, so that they can bring a fresh perspective to our training, and under our teachers’ guidance, push us to increase the strength and versatility of our Quirks and skills. It will be exhausting… but ultimately rewarding.”

She looked down at the sleeping frog on her lap. Nothing but peace and contentment flowed through their link. Asuka was determined to enjoy it while she could. It wouldn’t last long once Frog-Shadow was awake. “Though what exactly they can do with this little one, I’m not sure.”

Kocho chuckled at that. “Any idea who they got to teach this year’s then? Or is that one of those ‘rational deceptions’ Deku and Shinso were trying to warn me about?”

“They keep it a secret,” Asuka told her. “Though it’s not a rational deception in this case. It’s really more of just a U.A. tradition. They like keeping us on our toes.”

This got a nod. “Makes sense, I guess. Any idea what they were talking about then?”

Asuka could hazard a guess. “You probably don’t have to worry about that,” she said. “If they try to drop us off a cliff, you can fly.”

“You’re, you’re joking about that, right?” Kocho asked, dark eyes going wide. “Tell me you’re joking!”

“Not at all,” she replied. She put a finger to the side of her beak in thought. “I’m told it wasn’t a particularly big cliff, though.”

“I still can’t tell if you’re joking or not,” Kocho replied.

“She doesn’t joke,” Frog-Shadow said sleepily, stirring on her lap. “She’s the most boring person alive! I’m the fun one in this relationship!”

Asuka looked down to glare at her living Quirk. “And here I was enjoying the peace and quiet.” She shook her head. “But I doubt there will be any surprises like that at this Training Camp.”

***

They’d been on the road for about three hours and the anxiety in the bus had practically become a palpable thing. They’d made two stops already for bathroom and snack breaks and Isamu was fairly certain most of his classmates were going to jump out of their skin every time. About the only people who weren’t waiting for the other shoe to drop were Kocho, who didn’t know any better, and Shinso, who didn’t seem to see Aizawa in the same way as everyone else. Between their parents stories of school and their own experiences so far this year (Sending real—albeit reformed—Villains after them? What?), they were all rightfully paranoid.

Granted, his parents had known Aizawa too, even if they hadn’t been his students. They’d said he was gruff, but fair, and had actually been supportive of the work they’d done, despite them being Vigilantes. That somehow didn’t make him any less scary.

Throughout the trip, Shinso had kept up a steady stream of talk about Heroes and recent Hero events. Isamu had nodded along politely to a lot of it, occasionally adding to the conversation, but mostly letting the smaller boy talk. The two of them had gotten into a debate though, over whether Shoto or Gale Force was cooler, when Shinso had brought up a recent team-up the two of them had had.

Shinso had been rather insistent that Shoto was cooler, especially because of the fast way he could take down Villains without anyone being hurt. Isamu, on the other hand, had gone to the mat for Gale Force, liking the Hero’s larger than life personality and All Might level of cheer. It had been a friendly debate, though neither one of them was backing down from their position.

The two of them were sitting more towards the back of the bus. Occasionally, Shinso would look back to where Ground Zero was sitting, his arms crossed, and looking vaguely irritated, occasionally smiling a very familiar smile, as though enjoying some private joke. It was the same one Kirishima-Bakugo made before she punched something. The Number Four Hero was their new Heroics teacher? Ground Zero certainly had a reputation as having a hair trigger temper, but there was no denying that he was also really good at what he did. The look on his face suggested he was going to get far too much enjoyment out of putting them through their paces.

He’d survived Kirishima-Bakugo this long. How much worse could it be?

“Toshi! Toshi!” Shinso piped up. “You’ve gotta settle this! Who’s more awesome? Shoto or Gale Force?”

Midoriya was across the aisle from them, sitting with his girlfriend. Sora Iida was leaning against him, absorbed in some technical manual. Midoriya was definitely making progress. Not that long ago, that much prolonged physical contact would have had him shaking like a leaf.

Isamu was hoping to get some time with his girlfriend as well, this trip. Kana had loved the signed Godzillo statue he’d brought back for her from I-Island (He didn’t tell her he’d lost the first one) and they’d managed to see a marathon of his movies between his return and the leaving for the camp. Hopefully, she wouldn’t be too busy wrangling her class that they couldn’t share a few moments of their limited downtime.

“Oh no,” Midoriya said quickly, “I’m not getting dragged into this. Besides, I’m a Lemillion guy.”

“Not one of the choices,” Isamu told him, chuckling. Leave it to Midoriya not to take sides.

“I stand by my statement,” Midoriya told him.

“Aw,” Shinso said, pouting, “you were supposed to agree with me!”

Midoriya just laughed. “Maybe next time, Shota.”

Before they could continue, the bus came to a stop. Isamu checked the time on his phone. They’d been traveling a while now; it had been a little over an hour since their last stop. They’d left the main roads behind after the second stop, taking back roads, until they’d pulled through a long stretch of wooded areas. He was pretty sure he’d seen more than a few security cameras mostly hidden in the trees.

He could see some kind of big building out the front of the bus window, and what looked like several smaller buildings spread across a well maintained lawn. Beyond them, he could see more woods and maybe a lake.

“Either of you recognize this place?” he asked Midoriya and Shinso. “Is it an Agency?”

“I don’t know,” Shinso admitted. “But it looks pretty cool! Whoever owns this place has to be awesome!”

Midoriya’s eyes widened slightly, his mouth making a small o before a grin broke out across his face. “Oh! So that’s who they got!”

“You’re not going to tell us, are you?” Isamu asked.

“Nope!” Midoriya said. Isamu hadn’t seen that mischievous a look in his eyes before. “Don’t want to spoil the surprise.”

***

Katsumi looked around as the classes and teachers disembarked. It was a big complex for sure. Not exactly roughing it, though the woods around the buildings might hold some surprises, and one of the buildings looked like fairly utilitarian barracks. It all looked vaguely familiar though. She’d never been here, at least, not that she could recall, but she was sure she’d seen it somewhere. Had Toshi shown her pictures? She wouldn’t have put it past him. Despite basically having Hero-stuff as the background radiation for his life, he still ate, drank, and slept it.

There were four Heroes waiting for them. One was a man with spikey, sandy blonde hair, wearing a black bodysuit that left his arms bare, with silver boots, shoulder pads, belt, and bracers. With him, there was a brown-haired woman in a pink costume that looked damn close to a princess dress decorated with darker pink hearts, who was even wearing a tiara. Them, she recognized, Ravenous and Lady Lumious. Ravenous had briefly been one of Papa’s sidekicks. He even looked a bit like Uncle Tetsu, though they weren’t related.

The other man was blond, tall, with a costume in dark blue, with red highlights, boots, and gloves, along with small, gold pipe-like structures on his arms.

Ah. So that’s who they got this year.

“Oh, shit,” she heard Monoma gasp. Katsumi resisted the urge to cackle. He was having a bad day for surprises.

“Why so down, little cousin?” the man in red and blue, the Hero called Boost Rush, Daichi Monoma, asked. He was a tall man, towering over his cousin.

“I am the average height for my age!” Monoma snapped back. “You could have at least told me you were going to be here!”

“And spoil the surprise?” Boost Rush asked. He had the same arrogant, Monoma sneer all of them seemed to master. Katsumi had to fight the urge to laugh again. Monoma’s misfortunes were always funny. On the other hand, he hadn’t actually bothered her in months, no since his failed confession, so she could at least make an effort not to laugh at him when he could hear.

Katsumi’s eyes fell on the last of the four, a woman with light brown hair, who wore a costume in black, green, and orange. There was more than a passing resemblance to Dad’s costume. Her light brown hair was done up in twintails. She had her arms crossed and was smirking. It was an expression very similar to the one Katsumi and her dad often wore.

Katsumi, at the front of the group of students, gave her a smirk right back. “They must be getting pretty desperate to turn to you, Old Lady.”

The woman’s expression instantly shifted to rage. She pointed a finger at Katsumi. “Still got a mouth on you, don’t you, Brat? Well, we’ve got two weeks to beat it out of you.”

“You could try,” Katsumi shot back. “Won’t you have to go to bed too early for that though?”

“Show some respect for your elders!”

“So you admit you’re old?” By now, several of her classmates and 1-B students were staring at her in open surprise. Some, like Sero and Kaminari, had taken several steps back and away from her. Toshi just looked mortified, while Aizawa was burying his head in his hands. Even Lady Luminous and Ravenous looked vaguely puzzled.

“And so it begins,” Dad growled. “Ladies, can we wrap this up?”

“I will when she takes that back.”

Dad just sighed. “Mahoro, you and I both know that’s never going to happen. Can we just get on with it?”

Mahoro Shimano, also known as Vanish Veil, just grinned, but gave Katsumi a look. “This isn’t over, Brat.”

Katsumi smirked right back. “Bring it, Old Lady.”

Aizawa cleared his throat. “If we’re all done?” he asked. He didn’t wait for an answer. “As some of you have figured out, this facility and the surrounding wilderness is a training facility used by the Rookies, a loose configuration of Pro-Heroes and Sidekicks, many of whom attended U.A. together, and of which Water Spout and Doc Clock are also members. They’ve got a varied skillset and are also some of the best trainers in the country; Agencies frequently send their new Sidekicks to them for additional instruction. You will listen to them, you will follow their instruction, and you will not fight with them, no matter your previous or personal relationships with them.” He gave Katsumi and Monoma an extra-long glare.

“Now…” Aizawa went on.

He didn’t get to finish. “U.A. Hero students… think you’re pretty high and mighty, don’t you?” a voice, a girl’s voice, broke in. Whoever it was, they weren’t one of the Rookies. There were five of them, she realized, coming out of the building. Katsumi instantly tensed for a fight, wishing she had the gauntlets from her costume.

The seeming leader of the group took a step forward. She was large, and powerfully built. “We’ll show you all how weak you really are.”

#itsuka kendo #shouta aizawa #toshi midoriya #isamu haimawari #katsumi kirishima-bakugo #izumi todoroki #chihiro kaminari #shiro monoma #fan fiction #fan fic #my hero academia #their hero academia #my writing

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valkyrieelysia18 · 4 years ago

Text

RWBY Rewrite: Penny Polendina

Salutations Tumblr users! Today, we tackle beloved fan favorite robot girl Penny Polendina.

Now as I stated before, I dropped RWBY after Volume 6 and didn’t really watch Volume 7. I have however heard about certain developments and one plot point made me grateful I got out earlier or I would have rage quit this Volume anyway.

They brought back Penny, with all her memories completely intact.

This destroys one of the best pieces of writing in the show. Penny’s death was meant to symbolize the death of innocence in the show and it led in to the Fall of Beacon as well as Pyrrha’s death. Up until now, the show had been treating it as if a real girl had died. Vexed Viewer on YouTube has done a video on the topic that explains this better than I could. Even if they were going to bring Penny back in some way, she shouldn’t have been exactly the same as if nothing happened. Such as her memory of Vale (and everyone she met) being completely gone or her personality being significantly changed she isn’t even the same person anymore.

So, in this post I am going to be going over her history, role in the plot, and ‘successor’ for the Atlas Arc.

Creation and History

Okay, slight can of worms, but if Doctor Polendina is black, why is his daughter one of the most obviously white characters of the cast?

Alright, there actually is a legitimate reason for that in this rewrite. Penny’s physical features are actually based on Pietro’s late wife Clara Polendina (reference to the Nutcracker ballet) who worked with her husband. The two were very much happy and in love, but Clara died in a Grimm attack before they could have children. Thus, Penny is basically the daughter Pietro never got to have with her. Clara won’t come up that much in the Rewrite, but she was close to both of her husband’s prized students Arthur Watts and Willow Schnee. Arthur would note the resemblance and bring it up during his final confrontation with the doctor (This is what you ruined my life for as well as countless others?! Clara would be ashamed.) Willow would also bring it up and notice the similarities in both Penny and her successor.

However, the Atlas military and Ironwood’s desires to build something like Penny is less heartwarming. There was the original desire of making stronger robots for mass production to protect humans that evolved into infiltration and espionage purposes. But James Ironwood would see Polendina’s plans and see an immense opportunity. A young woman who would never age or die. An individual that they would never have to worry about running away or disobeying orders. Such a person becoming a Maiden would mean that they would never have to worry about the transfer process ever again. That would explain why Penny said that it would be her job to save the world one day, but they don’t think she’s ready for it yet. She is Ironwood’s hope for the future of the Maidens. And just in case she isn’t perfected in time for the next transfer, Winter is being trained and kept in reserve. Ironwood would provide all of the materials Pietro could need, including a crystalized substance that no one knows much about other than it being a classified by the military. It’s source will be noted in a spoiler’s section in this post, but it’s the very thing finally got things to work.

But while Pietro is aware something is up and suspicious of Ironwood’s intentions, he loves his little robot daughter regardless. There will be some flashbacks involving her first days awake (showing her curiosity and determination) as well as her bidding her father good bye when she leaves for the Vytal Festival.

Vale

The only thing I’d really change about Penny in the Vale Arc is giving her more time to interact with the cast, especially Ruby. What we got was okay, but I think it would be much more impactful if Ruby got to spend more time with Penny before her death. I’d definitely like it if Penny would bring up her father during their conversations, saying she was sure that two of them would get along given how much Ruby likes weapons.

It might be also nice for Pyrrha to feel a little off by her sensing all the metal when they first meet, but not realize why or how important that is. Just bit of foreshadowing.

Pelia

So, as you might have guessed by now, Penny will stay dead in this Rewrite. With the kind of story and tone I’m working with, it’s important that there is legitimate consequences to events and actions of the characters. As such, characters who died will stay dead. They may be referenced, appear in flashbacks, haunt our characters’ dreams, perhaps having a spirit linger with unfinished business to help the main characters on their path, but there is no chance of resurrection.

Not that Pietro wasn’t thinking along the same lines as others had considering Penny is a robot. They did manage to retrieve her body and core, but when he managed to build a new body, reboot, and restart, it wasn’t Penny greeting him. Rather, it was a completely personality. And they did not recognize anything or anyone. Pietro was devastated.

Thus I introduce Pelia Polendina, or Pelly. This is reference to the Coppelia ballet that actually includes a toy inventor trying bring a doll to life that he calls a daughter, much like Pinocchio. Only instead of magic bringing a puppet to life, the inventor tries to bring Coppelia to life by stealing a human soul and putting it in the doll. Quite the dark contrast and is actually going to be a bit of foreshadowing. I will say her appearance is actually pretty similar to Penny’s redesign with longer hair, though I would picture her more similar to dishwasher 1910′s design in https://www.deviantart.com/dishwasher1910/art/penny3-0-SD-758463321 . Check them out on DeviantArt, their work is amazing.

Pelia is considerably different than Penny. Whereas Penny was bright, enthusiastic, and rather trusting; Pelly is subdued, talks very mechanically, and is significantly less naïve. While Penny longed to be a part of something greater and be with humans despite her lack of social skills, Pelly avoids most people and is afraid of what Atlas(and by extension Ironwood) wants with a robot like her. This is partly due to her finding about Penny and how the world reacted with the Fall of Beacon.

In regards to Penny, she feels rather guilty about being alive in her place though she doesn’t quite realize that’s what she is feeling. This would lead to her trying to find out everything she could on Penny to understand her emotions, learning about Ruby and the others in the process. Pietro is devastated by the loss and incredibly frustrated with her, not really considering her alive in the same way Penny was which given her personality isn’t that unreasonable to think. Pelia does care about her creator and tries to assist him in what ways she can, but his attitude towards her is not positive and as such she mostly stays out of his way.

Atlas

Pelia’s first proper appearance would be in the Atlas Arc when the group visits Doctor Polendina for weapons repairs after their meeting with Ironwood doesn’t go well and the good doctor isn’t the on the best terms with the General at present. The man is not pleased or in the mood to humor them, though he does defrost a little when Ruby shows her geeky know how on weapons. (He may have also said some rather terrible things about Pyrrha which made the group somewhat grateful JNR wasn’t there.) As the group leaves the building and goes on their way, Ruby looks up to the upstairs window as she feels she’s being watched. She doesn’t see anything, but as she turns and walks away Pelia comes into view from the window. Having recognized who the people who just visited were, Pelly sneaks out and follows the group in the secret for a while.

She finally gets revealed while the group is watching Weiss dance ballet at a Mantle Community Theater. The Atlas Arc is primarily Weiss centric and part of her Arc in proving herself as worthy of the Schnee name will have her prove herself to people of Mantle. One such instance will have her helping out at the community theatre in learning and teaching dance. It’s in which she is showing off her skills Pelia accidentally reveals herself to the group having been incredibly entranced in ballet (little show to her inspiration). Ruby at first mistakes her for Penny so she gets very emotional, only to temper down when she realizes Pelia’s not her. The situation is cleared up and the group gets more insight into the situation of Atlas as well as the strain between the General and Pietro.

Pelia has three distinct dynamics of interactions with the group: Ruby on Penny, Weiss and Winter on siblings, and Oscar on succession. With Ruby, Pelia gets to know more about Penny as a person and Ruby gets a chance to fully process her loss. Pelia’s not Penny, but she comes to appreciate her all the same. Ruby also comes up with Yang in regards to sibling interactions, but Pelia’s focus in this case is more on the Schnee siblings. She’s basically wondering what sisters act like and whether Penny would have seen her as a sister. This lets her get some ballet lessons from Weiss as well as close to Winter. Then there’s her relationship with Oscar with the two of them having to deal with their predecessors and the problems they’ve let them to deal with. The both of them come to realize through talking with each other is that they shouldn’t compare themselves to those who came before. They have their own views and ways of doing things different from their predecessors and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The only thing they can do is do things the best THEY can.

The big turning point in the Atlas Arc for Pelia is when Pietro finds out abut the Winter Maiden and what Ironwood’s original plans were. While I am majorly rewriting the Atlas Arc, I do actually like the idea of an old Winter Maiden who is on her last legs. Pietro doesn’t get all the details of course, but it gives him the idea that the magic could bring Penny back to life. Aside from the whole ‘Dead means dead’ world I’m working with, it’s also a way to show that magic that cannot bring back the dead. I know that’s very much true in the show though not directly stated, but here I want to lay the ground rules down on what magic is and is not capable of.

After being called back by Pietro and assisting him in breaking into the facility where the transfer is soon to take place, the two enter the room that was originally prepped for Winter (who is distracted with everyone else on things going wrong due to Pietro’s interference) with the old woman in the pod. Pietro has explained things and orders Pelia to get in the other pod. Pelia doesn’t move, having been conflicted during this entre plan which shows all over her face. The doctor orders again, much firmer this time. A few moments pass as she thinks it over; fear, doubt, determination all playout in her expressions. Finally, she speaks. “No.”

While Pelia may have been built to be a weapon, she still has free will. Unlike Penny who accepted her role without many doubts, Pelia rejects that her only purpose is to be someone’s tool of war. She wants to help others, but she doesn’t want to fight. I think that if you bring choice into a story as a main theme, you also have to give the characters the choice not to fight, to walk away even if they don’t actually do it. Above all, Pelia doesn’t think that sacrificing others for herself is what Penny would have wanted after having met Ruby and gotten to know what she was like.

She would tell this to Pietro, who would get furious and argue with her. this would continue until they were interrupted by Watts. Watts, with revenge on the brain, would focus on Doctor Polendina and tell Pelia to run along. I know this seems a little hypocritical for Watts to do this considering his advice to Cinder in Volume 5, but this a different situation. Spoilers for the future Atlas Arc Rewrite and future James Ironwood post, go to the next paragraph if you don’t want spoilers. You see, the villains don’t need the Winter Maiden to open the Vault for them because Ironwood already took the Relic of Creation out of the Vault years ago (and is NOT holding up Atlas). In fact, a bit of the power from the staff was used to create Penny which was the the crystalized substance. Watts knows this due to his hacking Ironwood’s system and has already retrieved the Relic and sent it on the way to Salem. This will make the results in Atlas a lot more bittersweet: our heroes will win on the people’s side of things, but lose the Relic. Back to Watts, the man is all about efficiency. While the Winter Maiden’s powers would be nice, they don’t have a vessel for it at the moment and it’s not necessary for their primary goal. Once the business side of things is taken care of, then he’ll indulge in revenge.

Pelia, while conflicted, would run and get to the group to tell them everything. She would then spend the rest of the conflicting helping to escort and treat the wounded, giving her a presence to the people of Atlas. Pietro will be arrested and will be convicted for his crimes, Watts dead but having gotten the last laugh in the end with his technological abilities exposing his teacher and those who left him out to dry.

Once everything is settled, Pelly will stay behind in Atlas as the new right hand of new Headmistress Winter Schnee. Basically, she becomes the Glynda to Winter’s Ozpin (though Winter is a much more hands on no nonsense person). She bids the group goodbye, hoping to Ruby that they will meet again.

After Atlas

I don’t have much in mind for Pelia after the Atlas Arc except for two things. Firstly, that she and Pietro do eventually reconcile and develop something of a relationship when she visits him in prison on her off days. (Jacques is not so lucky in regards to his children.)

The second is when she and Winter will meet everyone at the lowest point of the story. Ruby will have learned some pretty dark truths, including some choices her mother made that’s really made her think. Pelia will actually have a similar conversation with Ruby that she had with Oscar. In how she’s no more Penny than Ruby is Summer. She’ll remark that perhaps Ruby put her mother on a bit too much of a pedestal thanks to the way her family viewed her. When in reality Summer was just a person and people make mistakes. Right now, what choices Summer made in the past aren’t what matters. What matters is what Ruby wants to do now.

Okay, I think I started before the coronavirus stuff went crazy. I am so sorry. Not sure when I’ll get beck to this.

However, I know the next subject is going to quite the doozy...

#rwde #rwby rewrite #penny polendina #dr polendina #ruby rose #weiss schnee #Oscar Pine #winter schnee

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things2mustdo · 4 years ago

Link

According to legend, the media is a pillar of democracy. The free press informs the public objectively, without bias, “just the facts, ma’am”. They staunchly champion freedom of speech; that’s their bread and butter! Their intrepid reporters expose high-level corruption, protecting the little guy from abuses by the wealthy and powerful.

Today’s reality is nearly the opposite. Worse, now they’re enthusiastically participating in censorship.

“Shut it down!”

Jason Koebler, a Vice editor for Motherboard (their technology column), posted “Deplatforming Works“, practically gloating about it.

It’s true that Silicon Valley’s lethargy on the far-right, aided by endless press coverage, helped amplify their message and turned the far right into a real, powerful political force in the United States.

So he believes that tech giants have been too slow in suppressing views that he doesn’t like. Still, he worries about what happens when they move to alternative platforms that respect freedom of expression. Further, he laments that censoring popular commentators generates publicity:

Deplatforming works “best” when the people being deplatformed don’t have any power to begin with.

That’s quite an unfiltered glimpse into the media mentality. He denies the censorship is ideologically motivated. Well, how often do leftists get banned for “extremist” opinions, criticizing groups they dislike, or controversial opinions about history?

The new Ministry of Truth

Another whopper, co-authored by Jason Koebler and Joseph Cox, described how journalists serve as social media tattletales:

In a recent interview at Facebook headquarters, one senior company employee told Motherboard that Facebook somewhat formalized the process of responding to content moderation-related inquiries from journalists, and has a dedicated system for ‘escalating’ issues highlighted by journalists. This often gets the content in front of those deciding whether to remove it or not more quickly than ordinary user-generated reports.

Thanks for the tip, dude. I’ve been wondering who’s been doing this sneaky behind-the-scenes stuff. As I’ve suspected, this goes much further than tricky “watchdog” outfits, or Social Justice Warriors orchestrating mobbing campaigns on Tumblr.

So he brazenly admitted that Lügenpresse employees are colluding with social media companies, ratting out content which they think the public shouldn’t be allowed to see. (Is that what college journalism departments teach kids these days?) Since the tech giants in cahoots with them created special pipelines to expedite the snitching, apparently this happens pretty frequently.

Last month, when explaining why Twitter hadn’t initially banned InfoWars from its platform, CEO Jack Dorsey said “it’s critical journalists document, validate and refute [dis]information directly so people can form their own opinions. This is what serves the public conversation best.”

Given the MSM’s track record of bias, distortion, and outright lies, their new side job of censoring dissident viewpoints is like a fox guarding the henhouse. (Jack Dorsey’s statement is almost as much of a whopper as when Barbara Spectre said, “But without that leading role, and without that transformation [to multiculturalism], Europe will not survive.”) It gets more nauseating yet:

Wednesday, at a Senate Intelligence Committee hearing, Dorsey again noted the role that journalists play in counteracting disinformation that spreads and is incentivized on his platform.

“We have this amazing constituency of journalists globally using our service every single day, and they often with a high degree of velocity call out unfactual information,” Dorsey said.

Senate Intelligence Committee—well, isn’t that special? If this “amazing constituency” is up to this daily, is all that really topical investigative research, or more like cyber-loafing?

Guarding the echo chamber

Journolist closed after this secret back channel was exposed. Is there anything else like that going on now?

Although that article seems unconcerned about ethics or freedom of speech, it correctly explains that tattling about social media posts for Silicon Valley billionaires isn’t the job they’re supposed to be doing. Journalists are paid to write stories. I’ll add that if they’re acting like Glavlit informers while on the clock, they’re stealing from their companies, just like if they’re playing Warcrack.

To be clear, every platform has moderators or algorithms which catch the vast majority of content violations on a platform. But still, many of the highest-profile content moderation decisions seem to be made only after there’s publicity around them. For example, InfoWars was only banned from platforms after a steady drumbeat of reporting surrounding the disinformation and hate speech spread by Alex Jones.

Jones got banned from four major platforms simultaneously. Anyone who believes the timing was a coincidence probably believes in the Easter Bunny too. Are the esteemed members of the Fourth Estate still using transmission belts hidden from the public like Journolist?

Here’s how it rolls at their own company:

At Motherboard, we’ve increasingly decided to withhold specific examples from tech companies when approaching them for an article. Of course, if they really need an example in order to have enough context to comment—if it’s a single specific video for instance—it would probably be best to provide a link to the clip. And we will give them enough context about what the videos are and the issue so they can write a statement explaining why they believe the content should or shouldn’t be removed. But for more general issues, or especially public material that can be found with a simple search, the companies don’t need hand holding to find the videos: indeed, the point is that they could have—and perhaps should have—come across them easily in the first place.

Finally:

Facebook also told Motherboard many other reporters have stopped sharing links to specific pieces of content until after the stories are published. Facebook believes it is beneficial to everyone if the company is able to remove violating content as quickly as possible.

So their take seems essentially like this:

Journalists are getting sick of working so hard at performing censorship for other companies, instead of doing their real jobs.

They wish the tech giants would make better programs to delete politically incorrect content robotically.

If they write a clickbait article about it, they’re disappointed that the content gets banned first.

It’s little wonder why people don’t trust the Lügenpresse. Even most liberals today realize the MSM is bullshit!

Why dissident views are important

Media outlets do have ideological positions. That’s understood, so long as long as that stuff stays in the op-eds and news is unbiased. According to legend, diversity of opinion throughout the media will allow the public to sort things out for themselves. However, 90% of the USA’s media outlets are owned by six gigantic conglomerates. Five are little more than propaganda factories for cultural Marxism. The one essentially representing the controlled opposition doesn’t stray too far from prevailing orthodoxy, or touch many vital topics.

The MSM is an oligopoly with vast powers to shape opinion. Therefore, dissident voices free of interference are the only ones breaking the information blockade. It’s the “deplorables” who now are looking out for the public, calling out subversion sometimes rising to treasonable levels when nobody else dares call it treason.

Finally, Jason Koebler has written several articles about data mining misuses. That much is admirable. Ironically, the MSM overlooks another problem with tech giants abusing monopolistic powers, often even assisting them. Not only do huge social media companies get a free pass for censorship, some journalists merely wish there was more of it so they can quit doing free work for them.

Don’t miss Beau’s book catalog. Good stuff!

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ms-demeanor · 5 years ago

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Thanks for answering my ask, but I wasn’t really asking about the actions of the black bloc/violent protestors at a given protest. What I want to know is if this actually works in any larger sense - cause it seems mostly like it’s just a weird kind of performance, gesturing at full armed rebellion but never going there and never actually effecting change. And like, I accept that I’m a fool for wanting nonviolent change, but I’m not sure the presented alternative does much better?

Now, it’s not really discussed in that article (only vaguely touched on when they mention that the anarchists showed up early for the counterprotest) but based on the timing of certain tweets and calls to action it’s pretty clear that the march fizzled because Andrew Aglin couldn’t get people to show up when there was already a large group of counterprotesters who had made it clear they were not going to respond to violence with nonviolence.

Alt-right protests and marches before Charlottesville didn’t have such clear uniforms and tactics - the khakis-and-polos along with sticks and shields are a fairly clear (to me) indication that the white supremacist organizers saw black bloc as a tactic worth preparing against.

The KKK didn’t fear the hippies. They feared the Black Panthers.

In 2017 20 states saw bills to limit protesting put before their legislatures. Thankfully not many of them passed, but a few did.

These bills varied in their terms, a few naming masks and facial coverings as being a problem but most of them focused on something else: blocking roads.

THAT’S the tactic that these states think is too extreme - blocking the road.

You know, that thing those protestors in Hong Kong were doing. That thing that a bunch of folks online are praising for being “polite” and “classy” and that Hong Kong’s police commissioner is calling a riot.

Here’s the thing, if you’re asking “does black bloc” work you’ve kind of got to ask “does any protest work?”

What does protest accomplish?

About six million people marched at the Women’s Marches in January of 2017. Did they accomplish their goals?

I’m going to say, just from the rollbacks on trans protections and widespread bills that erode abortion protections, “no.”

Now, that doesn’t mean that their mission is complete and that they didn’t hit the mark and decided that “eh, one day of pussy hats was good enough.” They’re still working.

But is it doing anything?

That’s really hard to say.

Also, I’d like to point out that while the Women’s March was praised for its nonviolence commentators were quick to point out how rude and lewd their signs were and how much trash was left behind.

Which is why a lot of anarchists react to the question of “does black bloc accomplish anything” as a form of tone policing that’s almost meaningless.

Black bloc forms up and protects nonviolent protesters and carries injured people away from riot cops. Someone punches a white supremacist and it becomes a meme. All antifa are violent thugs, they’re the real fascists because they want to limit speech through violence.

Black Lives Matter and Occupy Wall Street and Labor Day marches block freeways to protest violence and inequality. They part for ambulances, someone breaks a window. These leftists don’t have any respect for people who are just trying to live their lives and get to work; they care more about burning trashcans and breaking windows than they do about the workers they claim to protect - what if it was a black woman who owned that starbucks that they damaged in their riot, did they ever think of that?

The women’s march is full of speakers telling deeply personal stories, individuals reaching out and offering care and comfort to one another, and even a few stories about how well these protestors can get along with the police; we’re not so different after all! But wow, a lot of their posters had genitals or sexual slogans on them, and they left behind a lot of trash. This isn’t appropriate for children, and if they care about the environment so much why are they littering? What a bunch of nasty, shrewish women. They’re just mad that Hillary lost.

You say:

it seems mostly like it’s just a weird kind of performance, gesturing at full armed rebellion but never going there and never actually effecting change

and I’m going to have to say that all protest is performance. Protests aren’t about *doing things* they’re about showing up and being seen in support of an idea. And I do think that protest accomplishes some things; it lets people know they aren’t alone, it raises awareness of issues. Those are fine things.

As to the armed insurrection bit - well, have a tremendously ironic image:

That sign, being held by a navy veteran, says “if you need violence to enforce your ideas then your ideas are worthless.”

I don’t think you could have a clearer image of the concept of “the state monopoly on violence” than a military veteran chiding protesters for throwing rocks at cops and breaking windows.

The article that featured that photo shows a fascinating tension. You’ve got people at a peaceful protest saying “we’ve got to make sure the nazis know they can’t just show up and spew their hate” who don’t seem to realize that the nazis showed up in spite of the peaceful protest and were chased away by a black bloc. You’ve got the alt-right protest organizer failing to do her paperwork (typical; if your protest fizzles you can always say “the city would’t give us a permit” or “there were logistical problems” instead of “I couldn’t get more than twenty guys to commit to showing up”). My favorite bit of the article is where they admit that police were overwhelmed by antifa and that thirteen arrests were made and there were 6 people injured, two of whom were taken to the hospital. Man, for an out-of control bunch of thugs hellbent on punching nazis that’s some admirable restraint.

So there’s this conflict I’ve got. On the one hand a pretty goddamned big part of me *wants* armed insurrection against, for instance, the police. The police kill people with impunity and I think it’s a gigantic problem, especially considering the issues that we have in the US with white supremacists “infiltrating” the police and military and such.

On the other hand if you’re driving your reinforced bulldozer into an old lady’s house because she used to be married to the mayor who wouldn’t grant you a permit for your muffler shop you’re not exactly part of the solution.

Getting back to insurrection:

One of the things that I DO think black blocs accomplish is to get people to question the legitimacy of the state’s monopoly on violence. The nonviolent clergy could have been badly beaten while the cops looked on impassively except that a bunch of ballsy motherfuckers decided not to let that happen. And some of them got arrested for it. People went to protest Donald Trump’s inauguration and a bunch of protesters got injured after there was some property damage - but there was also video of police targeting people who were helping street medics and of of people protecting injured people from the police. THAT I think is valuable, the illustration that you can do the right thing even if it is illegal. I think that’s effective and I think it’s heroic.

Anarchists have been debating the value of violence as a mover for social change for, like, a hundred years. You’ll note that we’re not dealing with assassinations or bombings in this discussion, but punching a few guys. Like, seriously, this is something that is very contested among anarchists and that individuals feel conflicted about even within themselves.

But, like, black bloc isn’t generally an “armed” insurrection unless you count baseball bats.

Here’s the deal: in my ideal world every time the alt right showed up with twenty dipshits talking about a white homeland there would be ten thousand peaceful protesters there with kazoos buzzing their nonsense away. (Credit where credit’s due; I think I saw this concept articulated this way by tumblr users argumate and pervocracy before I started using that phrasing myself) Actually one of my favorite kind of protests is simply drowning out the bullshit or making it appear ridiculous. Wanna see one of my heroes?

youtube

GOOD JOB. DIRECT ACTION. FUCK YEAH.

Making nazis look ridiculous is almost as memeworthy as punching them in the face and much more palatable to the wider public. Also the nazis FUCKING HATE IT. Hard to be taken seriously with your talk about white genocide when you’re backgrounded by the baby elephant walk.

(god, seriously, everyone go get electric kazoos and mini amps and practice bagpipes, you don’t have to be good at it you just have to be loud)

If you want nonviolent change over time I recommend looking into Food Not Bombs; they’re doing good, nonviolent work that they still get arrested for and that hasn’t really made a dent in policy since they were founded in 1980.

I don’t think you’re a fool for wanting nonviolent change. That’s what I want too. But honestly all of the alternatives look kind of shit right now. You’ll get just as arrested for throwing a milkshake at someone as you will for nonviolently blockading a courthouse. Six million people peacefully marched to support reproductive rights and we’re still looking at the possibility of seeing Roe V. Wade overturned. Journalists covering the J20 protests were charged with felonies (until charges were dropped), maybe a simple assault charge for decking some asshole isn’t that bad.

But until we do figure out something that works I’m not gonna shit too hard on the only tactic that has been proven to suck the fun out of being a nazi.

Because remember - it’s not really the government that black bloc is deployed against; it’s the fascists for whom that the government provides no impediment.

(oh also a general reminder that most direct action is criminalized: be a good anarchist and feed hungry people in your community today)

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security · 5 years ago

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Tumblr’s Bug Bounty Program, 6 years later...

Around this time back in 2013, we celebrated the launch of our self-hosted Security Bug Bounty program, which was directly accessible on tumblr.com. Though we’ve always meant to, we just never got around to sharing many details about the program with you. Now that you’re here, join us for a stroll down memory lane.

Self-Hosted Bug Bounty

When we first launched, the submission form wasn’t the prettiest. It looked like something you’d expect a backend-engineer writing HTML and CSS for the first time to generate, but it got the job done!

Submissions would come through an internal ticketing system that would send us an email. We’d reply, triage if valid, but generally have a pretty stressful time internally, because we considered even the smallest report to be a critical vulnerability.

Our definition of what was in scope was quite narrow and rigid, and our payout scale was very low in comparison to some of the other public programs that were coming out at the time ($1000 for critical!). But, our lower payout was a conscious choice: Our program explicitly stated that we wanted people to participate if they wanted to help improve security, not just because they wanted to make a living.

We caught on, possibly years too late, that higher payouts were better. When a researcher has spent their time looking into the security of Tumblr, helped discover a vulnerability, and then responsibly disclosed it to us, we should be paying them fairly for helping to protect Tumblr! It was laughable to reward $100 and a "Thank You"—for protecting all of our users against a potentially wormable XSS vulnerability.

We shifted our payouts up a bit; they still weren’t very high for the industry, but we were happier knowing that we were doing what we could to help support the community of researchers. We also realized that our self-hosted approach wasn’t going to scale well. If we wanted to keep improving, we would need to change things up a bit.

Private Bug Bounty

And so, in early 2018, we launched a private program on the HackerOne platform. It was initially limited to 100 invited hackers while we got our bearings within the system. We learned pretty quickly that this shiny new tool was amazingly more advanced than what we were used to—it alone had us responding faster.

We grew to just over 1,000 invited hackers within a few months. We were receiving at least double the number of reports we had been getting from our self-hosted program, which was also still active. In short, things were looking very promising for our public launch in September 2018.

We also bumped up our payout scale for our private program. It was like money was raining from the sky for anyone who wanted to explore the depths of Tumblr! On our end, the learning continued, as we found that canned, email-style responses weren’t the norm. Some researchers are extremely knowledgeable, while others blatantly ignore program policies, and no matter how much we expanded the scope of our program, we were told it was still too limited!

Then, in September 2018, we held a Live Hacking Event that was hugely successful (A++, would do again). The goal was to launch our program to the public immediately after.

There and back again

Tumblr’s bug bounty program did go public shortly after our Live Hacking Event, but in a different way than anticipated: We merged our HackerOne program with that of our parent company at the time, Verizon Media (VZM). While the program itself was a success, and we still received reports, we ended up losing some of the progress and growth we had achieved in our own program.

For one, we lost the ability to manage our own tickets at Tumblr and had to rely on the triage teams at HackerOne and VZM. These interactions were often great, but our efforts to shorten response times were being throttled by third parties. Additionally, the huge scope that was available under the VZM program meant that researchers' visibility into Tumblr’s assets was restricted, which in turn reduced our ticket volume substantially.

That said, the perks of having a merged program were pretty great. Communication was consistent between tickets because there was a defined runbook for everything. The payout scale, yet again, was increased from what we previously offered. We had visibility into the inner workings of a much larger bug bounty program. We were invited to other Live Hacking Events and talked to a lot of awesome folks who dealt with bug bounties at a much, much larger scale than what we were used to.

When Automattic bought Tumblr, our bug bounty program was destined to separate from VZM’s. Even without access to managing our own tickets, the number of processes and capabilities we learned from the VZM team was enormous, and we’ll always be thankful.

Public Launch!

In October 2019, we finally launched our public program on HackerOne! Our ticket volume suddenly quadrupled from what it had been when we were private, and we've already received hundreds of reports in such a short time.

Using what we learned under VZM’s program, we’ve expanded our program policy. Now, everything that's public at Tumblr is in scope. We’ve set up a custom SSRF server for researchers to target during testing, and we’re going to expand tools just like that in the future, too. We also try to be as open and communicative to reporters as possible, as hurting Reputation or Signal is one of the last things we want to do.

Since the first few months have passed, the initial waves of reports have slowed down a bit, but we’re still very enthusiastic at being autonomous and interacting with the community in an efficient and successful program.

Operational efficiency

Our response statistics have continued to improve over the years. It used to take us days to respond to researchers, whereas our average response time is now within an hour of receiving a report. Remediation has always been a priority for us. Even as response times decrease, the time-to-remediation has remained low, with incidents usually being completed on the day we receive and triage the report.

It has taken many iterations of our program—both internally and externally—to achieve our current efficiency stats. We used to copy and paste common responses from a central repository, but are now able to rely on HackerOne’s inline tooling. And don’t get us started on how helpful triggers are! Also, by leveraging their Slack integration, we can receive report notifications in real-time, as opposed to relying on email and hoping no one else is already replying to the same report.

We still use the HackerOne platform directly instead of their API, but even so, our process is very efficient. At the end of the day, it’s the community that’s helping Tumblr, so we want to make sure it’s a great experience for researchers, too. We may not be able to reduce our response times further, but we’re certainly going to try!

What’s next?

Going into 2020 with a new parent company, we’re planning to merge our program into Automattic’s. Both programs have proven successful, and we’re looking forward to learning from one another and making both as great as possible!

We’ll be launching more helpful tools and information for reporters to use, which will help make successes more noticeable. We’ll also continue to highlight new Tumblr features and services as they become available throughout the year, so that researchers have an idea of good places to target.

We’re excited for what's to come and look forward to working with everyone in the future!

Submit a report!

#tumblr #security #bug bounty

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cindylouwho-2 · 4 years ago

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RECENT NEWS, RESOURCES & STUDIES, July 19 2020

Welcome to my latest summary of recent ecommerce news, resources & studies including search, analytics, content marketing, social media & Etsy! This covers articles, podcasts, videos and infographics I came across since the late June report, although some may be older than that.

I‘m still working on Etsy search testing and a few new blog posts and pages for my website, so it is still difficult for me to get this summary out more than 1-2 times a month. All suggestions on solutions to my time crunch are welcome.

If you have an questions, comments or suggestions about my Tumblr or my blog, please contact me here or on my website. I’d love to know what you think!

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES

Latest change from Google: the free Google Shopping listings will now show up in US organic search as part of product knowledge panels. Unfortunately, since they are only doing this for product knowledge panels to begin with, it likely won't help handmade sellers, but could be useful to sellers of vintage & supply items that are known products that will have a knowledge panel. It may be a sign that they are planning on moving free ads to more Google "surfaces" over time, however. Note that it appears that all product knowledge panel ads will be free starting this summer (US only), so that means that any Etsy paid ads for these types of items will become free ads that you won't have to pay EOA fees on if you get a sale. Google claims the free ads are bringing more searcher engagement to Shopping.

Amazon announced they will begin to show US sellers’ business name and address on the Seller Profile page as of September 1. The same requirement already exists in Europe, Japan and Mexico.

The USPS will no longer be delivering mail as promptly every day, to cut costs. This potentially affects anyone shipping to a destination in the United States.

How 7 different companies grew profits during the last recession - there will still be business opportunities during the upcoming recession, but you have to be positioned to take them.

ETSY NEWS

Etsy Labels no longer offer USPS international shipping options for all packages under 4.4 pounds other than Canadian orders, replacing them with the Global Postal Shipping Program (GPSP). Many US sellers dislike the GPSP, and have moved on to outside providers that integrate with an Etsy shop and other services, such as Pirate Ship, Shippo, Stamps, and Shipstation.

The quarterly category & attributes updates are limited to face mask & hand sanitizer attributes for July. Etsy also made some other minor updates recently, including allowing us to set a message auto reply for up to 5 days.

You may have noticed that Etsy is really pushing Etsy Ads on sellers right now, despite the numerous complaints about the average cost per click becoming far too high last year. I’ve turned mine off permanently, but if you are interested in trying them or fine-tuning them, Etsy released an article and a related podcast with a transcript.

Louisiana and Mississippi have been added to the list of states that Etsy collects sales tax from.

Etsy raised fees on Reverb to 5%, “to make further investments on behalf of our sellers.”

Etsy will release the second quarter results on August 5. We already know that April and May were record-setting, and June was also probably pretty good.

The site has continued to receive decent media coverage for the mask initiative; Etsy is mentioned in several articles/broadcasts a day as a place to get masks, including stylish ones. This article briefly interviews a seller and looks at what Etsy will do next, as the mask demand peak might be over.

Now that people think of Etsy for things like face masks, Etsy is continuing to market itself as a place to buy everyday items, something it shied away from for a few years. (Remember when Etsy was all about “owning special”?) They’ve added “Everyday Finds” links & Editors Picks pages, and have published tips on what pandemic shoppers are looking for. (Note that the year over year values compare this April to last April, and so were during peak lockdown for the US.) “Keeping surfaces clean is top of mind these days, and shoppers are searching on Etsy for many types of cleaners, from all-purpose scrubs to washable sponges...134% YoY increase in searches on Etsy containing “ceramic sponge holder.”...”74% YoY increase in searches on Etsy containing “mug”...”352% YoY increase in searches on Etsy containing “diy”.

Please correct me if I am wrong, but this page on the search and ads algorithms appears to be relatively new.

SEO: GOOGLE & OTHER SEARCH ENGINES

The sea change in online buyer behaviour during the pandemic may mean that you need to update your keyword research. Keyword volumes have changed, some very dramatically. For example “‘adult bikes’ shows a massive upturn.This represents over ten times as many searches for this term compared to just under a year ago. If you projected this back in 2019 you’d probably be laughed at.”

Speaking of keyword research, if you need a refresher on why you should do it and how to approach it, here is a recent article.

There are many different ways to get backlinks; here are a few that are pretty easy [video & text].

Are longer blog posts better for SEO? Not necessarily, as long as you cover the topic well. The exception is that blog posts under 300 words are usually not worth writing.

Most SEOs think there was an unannounced Google update around the third week of June. Some are reporting that sites that specialize made gains, as opposed to those who have more general material. That same study reports Etsy had one of the largest traffic increases, but not as much as Pinterest (I’ve been seeing a lot more pins when Googling lately, so this seems likely.) Government websites also seem to have received better visibility. “As Google has described in their document on how they fight disinformation, they describe that their systems are designed to prefer authority over other factors “in times of crisis”. If this truly is related to what we saw happen in June, these changes could possibly be reversed once the worldwide pandemic situation improves.”

Bing released a few basic tips on how to use its keyword planner.

(CONTENT) MARKETING & SOCIAL MEDIA (includes blogging & emails)

TikTok has moved out of Hong Kong, while the US government may be looking at banning them, following India’s move on July 6. With TikTok in peril, many people are now downloading its competitor Byte.

If you use Facebook for your business, please read up on the changes required to comply with California’s new privacy law.

Instagram is now testing an Instagram Shop tab, which allows users to filter by category.

Twitter is planning on starting a subscription service, but deleted some of the details from the job listing just hours later.

One of the results of the big Twitter hack on July 15th was Google removing the Twitter carousel from its search results.

Pinterest searches involving Christmas started way earlier this year, with a 77% increase YOY in April. “That includes a 3x increase in searches for “Christmas gift ideas”, while other queries like “holiday recipes” and “Christmas” were up more than 90% and 80% respectively.” These are good stats for marketers to have, helping us decide when to release and promote new products.

ONLINE ADVERTISING (SEARCH ENGINES, SOCIAL MEDIA, & OTHERS)

Spending too much on Facebook ads? Here are some common mistakes and some suggestions on fixing them.

If you already know that ROAS stands for “return on ad spend” then some of this article may be old news to you.

STATS, DATA, OTHER TRACKING

If you are using Google Shopping with your website, be aware that the Google bots may be inflating your abandoned cart rate.

Google Analytics can help you track the effects of changes to your website, or other business conditions. You can also get alerts when certain types of events happen, or when traffic is abnormal.

ECOMMERCE NEWS, IDEAS, TRENDS

Walmart is expected to launch Walmart+, similar to Amazon Prime, this month. But note that while many brick & mortar businesses are now doing a lot more business online, it is more expensive for them.

For those of you who use Stitch Labs, they have been purchased by Square, and the existing services will likely be cut in 2021.

Deja vu for Etsy sellers - eBay was apparently offering incentive payments for signing up for their new Managed Payments system by mid-July. (Etsy did the same with its Etsy Payments system, but only for Americans.)

Is Amazon Handmade as good for small makers as it claims? Maybe not. If you sell on Amazon, consider these strategies to protect your core business from being swamped by the big A.

Wix has introduced an ecommerce version with a lot more options and integrations.

Shopify’s new “Shop” app has some good features but also some issues. [podcast & edited transcript]

BigCommerce filed to go public, and added Ayden as a payment option. More details on the Ayden move here.

Did you know there are sites you can use to sell your ecommerce business? Here are 10 of them.

BUSINESS & CONSUMER STUDIES, STATS & REPORTS; SOCIOLOGY & PSYCHOLOGY, CUSTOMER SERVICE

US ecommerce sales are now expected to grow 18% this year, while overall retail is predicted to be down 10.5%. “In a pandemic economy, consumers have gravitated toward trusted and reliable retailers. As a result, we can expect the top 10 ecommerce retail businesses to grow at above average rates (21.8%). Amazon will gain US ecommerce market share this year, while Walmart's accelerating ecommerce growth will take it to the No. 2 position for the first time.”

Fear of missing out (FOMO) is a factor you can use to drive sales; here are 6 tips.

Generation Z is acutely attached to internet use, and is more likely to be planning on starting their own business than any other generation.

MISCELLANEOUS

It’s possible that the increase in people working from home will lead to more work hours and therefore more burnout.

#search engine optimization #etsynews #content marketing #smallbiz #ecommerce

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barberwitch · 6 years ago

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Hello! This is for purely educational and research purposes do curses/hexes/jinxes only work when they are fueled with anger like can someone just cast a curse on someone because fuck it or do they have to hold some anger and desire to see you suffer to make it work

Slow down there speed racer. We’ll start out with the first little thing...curses are different than hexes, are different than jinxes.

Yes, they all fall under the umbrella of malefic or baneful magic, but it’s like saying oranges mangos and apples are all fruit.

Jinxes and hexes can be cast accidentally (jinxes more likely than hexes.) especially when fueled by intense emotions like anger, anxiety, jealousy etc. Even a really heart felt Fuck You can result in a jinx or hex.

That’s because jinxes are the shortest lived. It can be a one and done kind of thing where there’s one manifestation and it’s done. Usually happens in a shorter time frame from when it’s cast and doesn’t require as much forethought as it’s such a burst.

Hexes are the middle ground. A particularly long lasting jinx, or a short lived curse may fall under the category of a hex. It’s a weird balance between severity of the effects combined with longevity. It could be bad luck for a week, flat tires every month for a year, it could be the dissolution of relationships, or loss of job. The severity is more than a jinx and will a lot of times include some kind of ritual. To be honest, a lot of the tumblr “curses” that you see floating around written by users are actually hexes.

Part of that is again the severity and the action of how it manifests, another part is how easy it is to break them, to end them, or to reverse them. I see these “curses” with backdoors clearly written into them! Or a set timeline of how long it’ll last. If there is a timeframe of when it will end, then it is usually a hex and not a curse. If it’s longer than a short time period of a day or two, then it’s usually a jinx...

If there’s no time frame of the spell ending, it has a severely dramatic effect, and there’s no reversal written into it...it may be a curse. You can’t curse someone accidentally because it takes a lot of energy plain and simple. I jinx easily, and hex often, but actual cursing I’ve done 12 times and been a witch for 14 years. If you talk to practitioners who have worked with baneful magic for a while, you’ll notice that a general concensus is that cursing is WORK. The prep time, the actual spellwork, the upkeep, the protections, the loopholes, all of it, takes a lot. A simple writing someone’s name on paper and pinning it between 2 lemons with a nail isn’t a curse on its own.

While jinxes and hexes can be purely emotionally driven, curses have too many variables for you to want to do one strictly on emotion imo. When I’ve cursed part of what that entails is actually meditation and reflection because it is an expenditure of a lot of energy, and preparing to make sure nothing blows back, or that it fizzles out before taking root. So yes, you can curse because of a “why the fuck not?” But with how much work goes into it...why would you if you didn’t hold at least some visceral emotion towards someone?

I do want to clarify why i said visceral emotion and not anger. That’s because curses can also be fueled by an integral sense of morality, a sense of justice or personal code of ethics or social courtesies that are violated by someone else. Witches have been social justice workers from the beginning, before “witch” was even a word. That’s because witchcraft is a tool of need, and when mundane actions aren’t suitable, magic steps in.

Curses can be compared to wine, if cared for and kept in the proper conditions, they can develop, strengthen and get better with age. Alternatively, if there wasn’t the right conditions, attention to detail, energy put forth etc, the wine will spoil and become vinegar (or just spoil and peter out.)

Curses are the big guns. And should be handled with clarity and respect. Do it right and it can be life altering. Do it wrong, and nothing happens at all. Do it wrong and it may be dramatic for a period, then the intended quickly recovers. Do it wrong and the effects may be shared between you and the intended. Do it wrong and it may just be felt by you.

In my experience and from talking to other witches, it’s like horses or dogs. Curses can smell fear so if you aren’t sure that what you’re doing is in fact what you want, there’s a larger chance for it not working the way you want. There’s less pressure and more room for error with hexes. Jinxes can be as simple as someone tripping or stepping on a lego, or a bad dream. Hexes can be losing keys consistently and the financial burden or replacing them, they can be a loss of focus that affects work or school, they can teach a lesson. Curses can cause blight, permanent injury, even death. They can last past the intended’s life and affect the lineage and those around them. Curses can go through generations and past the life of the witch who cast it.

So to do a curse right, bellatrix lestrange has it right “You have to mean them...” because if you don’t, things can and will go sideways.

🦋Cheers, Barberwitch

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pepucz · 5 years ago

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Death Note personal thoughts

I saw a post about thoughts on “everyone goes to Mu” part of the manga by one of my favourite tumblr users - 13eyond13 and I originally replied to it, but I figured my thoughts were more about my personal feelings than adding something relevant to the original post, so I decided to post it totally separately here just for my own satisfaction. (also my English can suck hard, so if anyone decides to read this all, I’m sorry for any mistakes)

_______

I must admit I was rooting for Light and was truly a KIRA supporter at the beginning (till the moment he killed Lind L. Tailor), I also took the information from Ryuk about Mu as a fact for everyone just like Light did, but that's probably because I'm an atheist and I have lots of nihilistic thoughts, so Ryuk saying the “Mu” part would only prove my own views and beliefs - the nihilistic aspect of the whole story is also one of the reasons why Death Note remained one of my most favourite mangas of all my time and why I’m so happy to have my love for it fully restored and be actively back in the fandom...

So yeah I agreed with the original intention of Light with the Death Note, he was pretty careful with what kind of criminals he killed, he "wouldn't kill those who killed accidentally or without malice like car accident deaths for example" (chapter 47), but I didn't agree with his God complex, that was probably the first thing that didn't click right with me even though it does make a sense as Light wanted to set new rules for humanity by his own standarts, I just don’t like the idea of “God” or whatever, but the real endgame for me was the moment he killed Tailor, he didn't know if he was criminal, he killed him just because he challenged him. That was the point where I stopped rooting for him. I also saw killing Raye Penber and the rest of the FBI agents as even more unnecessary steps and also a pretty obvious way to cast suspicion against himself. But we wouldn't have a story if it wouldn’t happen 🙃 And I still loved his character even after this tbh :)

I must admit I don't value a human’s life as something more valuable than an animal's life (of course I do value my dearest's lives super lot, I would die for them anytime or rather I do continue living for them, but those lost humans' lives of people, whom I hadn't known personally, haven't heard their story or whom I simply didn’t like just don't spur any real pity for them in me, earth is overpopulated anyway, what truly upsets me in the worldwide spectrum is losing some extinct animal species - I even cry when I see the planet lost some animal species just because of the human greediness) and I'm sick of ppl making so much fuss over the loss of a human life than over animal's one especially if they don't know those humans personally. Death is part of the human life, sometimes it’s unfair how some lives end, but the World won’t stop spinning because of it and it’s not like humans are endangered species... it’s pretty much the other way around. I mentioned this bit of my feelings about general mankind because I was pretty irritated when the task force or someone in DN universe was upset with ppl dying even if they were/might be a piece of shit, just because it’s “human life!! Human!!”. Like - I loved Soichiro Yagami as a father figure and I really loved his love for Light, but I was totally done with him ruining L’s plans in Yotsuba’s arc XD Same for innocent Light in this arc, but at least he didn’t try to do anything that would ruin L’s plans just to stop the criminal’s deaths (Misa managed it in the end and everyone was satisfied thanks to that for the time being) XD

Back to the topic of using Death Note - I would plan to use it as Light did in the beginning, but target mainly animal abusers, it would also be super hard for me to find names and faces and 100% proof that they are the guilty ones. Also I would never think of myself as a God, that's totally stupid IMHO. I would be just a mass murderer like Light by human's standards. 'Murderer' is still a word invented by humans alone, so it wouldn't faze me as much as it fazed Light being called like that... Also maybe I would never use Death Note to the extent as Light did, because now even criminals have GDPR protection and their names and photos are often kept secret (which I find to be super unfair). Light would never commit a murder without a Death Note, and I’m the same (even though I can’t guarantee what I would do if I saw someone torturing animals/my loved ones in front of me.... I still think I would go berserk probably). Anyway even with knowing there is nothing after Death for sure, I would still try to make the world a better place by what I believe is right, I don’t care that it would seem evil to some ppl, I also don't give a shit there is no meaning for human's lives in the vast of the universe, I wouldn't care that this plan of making the World a better place would also mean nothing compared the whole Universe and its timeline... I would still try to do it, because it would satisfy me for the time of me being alive...

All humans have a choice to not hurt others, those who decide to do it especially when it concerns truly innocent human's lives or animal's ones (I truly hate humans, who abuse animals just for fashion, cosmetics, household products, money or for some sick sense of fun) just don't deserve their life in my mindset and I don't care how wrong it is in human society's view. I get especially angry when some criminal runs away from Borstal (because he is not put in prison as he is mentally ill and commited crime because of it) or from prison, of even worse when a criminal is released by the court for good behaviour or some shit and then that individual ends innocent life again.... in such cases I just get furious at the impotence of our laws because it means this individual can harm someone close to me too just as simply because “as a human” he still has all the human rights even after he violated someone else’s rights, that’s just super unfair. I also don't believe in real peace, human race is not capable of it imho. That's why we have to have laws... and here I’m getting back to Death Note - our laws serve the same purpose as Kira's law did in my opinion, only Kira was more successful because it was pretty definitive and striked even those who otherwise wouldn't give a shit about our weak laws. There are people who want to live peacefully and don't need any law for that, then there are some who live in peace just because of the fear of our laws' consequences and then we have those who don't give a shit about laws because it won't cost them their lives... + a small group who don't give a shit even it would cost them their life... (we don't have a death sentence in Czech Republic anymore as it was deemed too "inhuman", I must add that I must agree that there are crimes where it's almost impossible to convict the criminal as 100% guilty and it's better to just put them in the prison - as I already mentioned I would have a really hard time using the Death Note because I would be too afraid I might kill someone innocent). So Kira's idea about peace was no different than the current worlwide idea of peace with our laws.

Now to get somewhere else for a bit - I fell in love with L and Near and I was quite happy with the ending of Death Note and how Light was served and killed by Ryuk. I felt a bit of pity for his death, but it didn't traumatize me like L's (or Mello's) death tbh. I woudn’t really change a thing about L’s and Light’s deaths anyway...

When I look at the overal picture of Death Note, Light still managed to save more innocent lives than Near and L imho. During his time the crime dropped by 70% worldwide. 70% is truly a large number considering the worldwide measure. A lot of innocent humans didn't die because of rapists and murderers thanks to Light. But as DN is pretty nihilistic the world returned back to the old standards after Light's defeat and the crime percentage grew back as it was before Kira's reign. So defeating Kira served right only to people who's life’s purpose is fighting criminals - they need them to exist otherwise their job would be meaningless - and Kira almost took it from them. L's life purpose was solving crimes, but what would there be to solve if criminals were ceasing to exist? I see it as the main reason why he got involved in the Kira case at first even if he himself wouldn’t admit it. Kira was threatening his life's purpose. But of course that's just my impression. I still fell in love with L the most even if our views differed.

_________

Dunno if this whole rant makes sense or not but that’s just how I feel....

Death Note doesn't exist unfortunately and even if it would and I would get my hands on it, if it would be haunted by Ryuk, I would be definitely served by him pretty soon anyway, because he would probably get bored with me very soon 😂 I'm not a genius and I would be afraid of harming innocent beigns, so I would be extremely careful with using the Death Note.

Might try to bargain with apples but knowing Ryuk it wouldn't be enough to keep him from writing my name down sooner than my time is up 😂 I wouldn't even blame him 🙃 I'm simple and boring average woman, who is totally done with human race and most of the humans.

BTW I really love this little bit from the pilot chapter of Death Note:

"But that would probably mean you'd have to kill the majority of mankind." 👍

(might delete this whole post later because of my social anxiety or if I get too roasted for my opinions, because I'm a coward 😄 I do stand firmly behind my beliefs especially IRL but I also prefer to be invisible on public sites 😄)

#death note

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crashnbxrn · 5 years ago

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「 you think yourself above the wolves, above the makers and the destroyers of the world, above the gods. and yet, little lion, you have so far to go before you are above yourself.」

―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――

what’s up, what’s up ladies n gents n everybody in between! my name’s skye, mun here of the lovely not apollo choi (fc. jackson wang)! i’m very excited to be here, i’ve been eyeing this roleplay for about a month now I believe (??) and have been wanting to join tenfold, which I finally decided to go through with! below the cut you’ll find out some more of my boy here ― if you would like to plot, my discord user is sunnyburst#8001 or you can hit me up in tumblr PM’s! can’t wait to get to know you all, MWUAH 💗💗

( JACKSON WANG. MALE. ) Aleksander’s coven is intimately familiar with ( APOLLO CHOI, ) a dedicate Death Dealer for the coven. ( HE) is a ( 622 ) year old vampire known throughout the New World Coven for being ( CLEVER + STEADFAST. ) However, those who are familiar with them also know that they are very ( MANIPULATIVE + CRUEL. ) They’re known for being the ( LION. ) Though they are technically disbanded, they are still dedicated to their cause.

⤹ ――――― ⤸

～ INFORMATION

full name // apollo choi [ it should be noted that his birth name is kept closely guarded ]

nickname(s) // leo, heatstroke

age // 25 622

gender // male

species // vampire

title // the lion

birthdate // august 6, 1397

birthplace // hanyang, korea (modern-day seoul)

occupation // ex-death dealer, ceo of a major movie studio

ethnicity // korean

orientation // bisexual, although he’s scared to admit it and keeps it under wraps

status // single

languages // korean, english, spanish, french, cantonese

―――

fc // jackson wang

hair // dark brown

eyes // chocolate/hazel - gold

height // 6'3" ft

weight // 183 lb

body // muscular, slim

style // suave and modern, always clean-cut, fashionable but doesn’t experiment too much

defining features // besides his canines, speckled hazel heterochromia in his left eye

tattoos // n/a

scars // n/a

―――

horoscope // leo

zodiac // ox

element // fire

moral alignment // neutral evil

type // ESTP - the entrepreneur

house // gryffindor

religion // none - atheist

fears // really only one; to have his secrets be outed without his wanting

chronic // n/a

positive // insightful, clever, reliable, articulate, charismatic, level-headed, hard-working, incisive, authoritative

neutral // determined, distinctive, passionate, romantic, complex

negative // blunt, manipulative, crafty, hot-headed, cruel, vengeful, presumptuous, twisted

⤹ ――――― ⤸

～ PAST

it’s long af whoops

[ TW: mentions of physical abuse, slight gore, death ]

apollo was born to a high-class noble family in hanyang, korea on what we know as august 6, 1397

growing up in the peak of the joseon dynasty and one of the country’s golden ages, there was not much the young boy needed, but rather everything that he wanted

his father was a high-ranking member of the city’s caste system, one of the generals that assisted in ushering in the new era

his childhood is spent alternating between school for preparation in aristocracy and basking in the social standards of the time ― while he isn’t old enough to begin more ‘dangerous’ tasks, the patriarch implements training in everything from horseback riding to whittling for apollo to enjoy

life isn’t good for him, it’s great ; he doesn’t have to worry about much, and when he does there’s people around him available to clear up any ‘misunderstandings’ in a heartbeat

still, as he grows older, a superiority complex begins to take hold of the young boy, coupled strangely with a boredom he had yet to experience before

the result? a horrible combination that begins to warp his personality in tidbits, before he fully ‘sinks in’ so to speak

by 12 his father has deemed him ready to embark on more trials outside of simple pleasantries. never mind the golden age of science and art ― apollo’s father was a militaristic man through and through, and he knew war would come one way or another

so the youth begins to learn of the knowledge of battle; how to wield a sword, proper fighting techniques, the instinct of survival ― such is beaten into him in more ways than one, excuses for failure reaching deaf ears and perfection being the only goal

this type of treatment does well to cause both vice and virtue for apollo; the once happy boy is twisted in a grasp of frost and cruelty, and yet he finds himself training ever harder and hardly taking heed to words outside of his father’s opinion

he’s 16, young and ablaze, a fire coursing through his veins despite his frigid approach. apollo’s beginning to make a name for himself, partaking in whatever challenges present themselves, discerning towards talks of a bright future when all he wanted was blood

his elders begin to take note of this and, under pleased recommendation from his father, ascend apollo to become apart of the high-ranking royal guard ordered to protect the king and his family

while he would rather be out on the battlefield (despite the age of scientific expansion, there was also trifles to be meddled in), apollo took the opportunity with steadfast determination and took his job as seriously as one could

he finds himself betrothed at age 18 on consideration by his father who is eager for a lineage, a fragile noble girl in all sense of the word being chosen as a ‘perfect fit’. apollo could hardly care, however ― if he had his way, he would be married to his sword, yet he supposed a woman would do for the time being

still, time goes on with little interruptions; the beast marries the beauty, he’s promoted to personal guard of the youngest prince, and his often-times anger is allowed to be sated on whoever is unfortunate enough to end up in chains that day

yet, soon trouble begins to brew, although not with him ― tensions between korea and japan begin to rock the state, rumors of war falling over the distant hills being drunk up by the common rabble. apollo is eager for such to arrive, hoping to take part in what he sees as ‘festivities’, despite being obviously chained to protection over the 13 year old boy all considered ‘prince’

and yet this boy was the cause for much of his frustration ― opposed to when apollo was young, the prince was futile and weak, eager to take part in more pleasantries rather than learn of his future duties to the dynasty

such often enraged the elder, forced to bite his tongue in earnest of stepping out his ‘boundaries’ despite having much to say

trouble, however, spirals downwards quickly within his life ― with the prince turning 20 and him lingering atop 25, apollo would hope that the 5-year continuation from him first being assigned would only shape up the younger. however, it seems to be quite the opposite; the prince spends his time ‘play fighting’, as apollo calls it, and dragging his guard through the forest in daily hunts that hardly often accounted for anything due to his skill. on top of that, it is found that his young wife is infertile, and despite hardly caring for any child at all, she is cast out of the marriage and lowered within society’s eyes

yet one such hunting trip results in tragedy ― after the two embark on their routine that apollo had become all-too used to, they come across a herd of wild boars the prince is eager to slaughter. after attempting to quell his lineage to no avail, an argument ensues; the prince comments on how apollo is out of line, and he likewise comments that the royal is going to get himself killed ― unfortunately, it results on the attention of the boars being caught, and apollo hardly has time to get out of the way before he’s being battered and speared through with bone

the prince, in retaliation, runs away

spine broken, bleeding out on autumn leaves, apollo shifts back and forth through consciousness enough to make out an approaching figure before everything goes dark ― such a figure, unknown to him, would change his life (and death) forever

he awakes a day later in a home hidden by the shadows of the treetops, not far from hanyang. he believes he is dead, and yet the being waiting there for him discerns otherwise ― he is alive, just not in the traditional sense.

apollo spends a month with the mysterious figure, who he comes to know as his ‘sire’, and learns of his existence. of how he was destined to die, and came by much more powerful and much stronger. of how the figure had been stalking them for the perfect moment to strike, only to find another opportunity instead. the realization of him being ‘vampire’ surprisingly comes easy to apollo; he approaches his existence as a gift more than a curse, especially considering the abilities that come along with it.

when he returns home he is met with shock, remorse, celebration, and guilt, particularly from the young prince who had abandoned him. his story is simple― after being left to die by the royal, apollo managed to crawl to a nearby stream and patch his wounds with mud and leaves, obviously leaving out the ‘broken spine’ detail. his explanation as to how he had healed completely back to his healthy self? blessings from the gods, that of which was good enough to deem him fit for society

much to apollo’s pleasure, the prince was chastised and punished in a dutiful manner for his cowardice and betrayal. becoming used to his usual bloodlust that came from not feeding went easier than he expected as well ― the ‘lepers’ cast out provided well enough sustenance for apollo, and not a single soul bat an eyelash at their deaths.

ageing, however, was a different issue ― he could not stay 25 within the city for long, and yet religion played enough of a part in hiding such a fact. years passed and apollo gave praises to the gods for his ‘youthful’ appearance even at 32, noble families falling over him in an effort to obtain being part of his lineage, and yet he hardly cared to give them a glance ― to apollo, there were better things on the horizon, and he wanted to experience it all

so, what was the best thing to do? fake his death, obviously. superstition ran high in his community, so he simply walked off into the woods one day and never returned ― they would fret, apollo knew, but overtime they would simply reason that he was ‘reclaimed’ by the deities. in truth? he returned to the home he had first woken up to, only to find it empty ― his sire was nowhere to be found.

did he break down into tears? cry out in the dark? hardly; for a newborn vampire, apollo had nerves and determination of steel, and simply ‘set up camp’ for the time being. if he couldn’t live in the city, he would live where he could be free

apollo’s world is about as interesting as it can get after that ― he alternates between staying in woods to returning to hanyang after he’s sure every other generation has died out. the same story of being a ‘newcomer’ is told regardless, and no one ever questions it because they hardly know him. this sort of ‘schedule’ he has allows him to be both separated yet still grow with the times. he admits that the future was not exactly what he expected, and yet all-too exciting for vampire. time passes in the blink of an eye for an immortal, watching as his home of hanyang shifts in the modern city of seoul ― such a sight triggers something within apollo, and he realizes he too must change with the world

new york city is not the first choice on his list; rather, the vampire changes his name and attempts to travel to london as a more ‘immediate’ deviation. however, he is not received well ― altercations involving vampire covens within the city eventually push him out, solace within the european countries not found for long. the united states is next; it’s a melting pot, and exactly what apollo is looking for, yet new york catches his eye above most. deviating from his original plan of los angeles, the vampire is pleased at the anonymity of the city and the opportunities presented with it greatly

a chance encounter with 3 lone vampires including himself results in meeting aleksander and eventually being inducted into his coven. at first, apollo is thrown off by the sudden influx of ‘sociability’ that is expected, yet he soon finds it endearing enough and something he admires, even. he is one of the first to join up as a death dealer when the role is announced ― although his seductive nature and sadism is not attributed to only one species, apollo is all-too eager to sate the never ending lust for war and blood he finds the opportunity of in hunting with his newfound brothers and sisters. even after the death dealers ‘officially’ disbanded, he still heeds the call of aleksander whenever needed, more than pleased to assist in whatever is required of him.

⤹ ――――― ⤸

～ FACTS

his birth name is not apollo choi, and has been kept a secret and on the backburner since he was turned ― he sees it as his ‘past’ self and a chain to his current identity

after arriving in nyc, he’s since found a love for film (or rather ‘entertainment’ as a whole) and began his own movie studio, that of which skyrocketed in popularity and is now among some of the top ones in the country. he keeps himself separated from the majority of his employees so that he can ‘hand down’ the company to himself ― those necessarily close to him are fellow vampires, who he knows he can trust with his immortality

sometime after he was turned he came to realization that he was bisexual rather than straight. while he is a rather romantic individual and wishes for a lot, he’s scared of dedicated love with the way he is, and keeps his sexuality under wraps for fear of someone possibly using it against him

his overall personality is very sadistic and twisted ― he finds joy in the pain he causes others, depending on who they are, and isn’t one known for mercy among the death dealers

apollo believes in ‘ability’ more than ‘possibility’. it is partially one of the reasons he no longer is religious; he finds the belief in the supernatural on earth and the immortality they possess to be far against any idea of ‘god’ or ‘gods’

he was nicknamed ‘leo’ by aleksander due to his fiery passion and his bravery in what he does. he’s attempted to get tattoos of lions on his body, but finds that they forcibly heal due to his abilities

#ooc #― intro #underworldshqintro

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evilfairytales · 5 years ago

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Star vs. The Forces of Evil Cleaved my Heart (not in the good way)

Okay, so massive spoilers are up ahead, needless to say. And frankly, if you enjoyed the finale, or really Season 4 in general, you’re better off moving along. More power to you, but there’s not much for you here, I’m afraid.

Okay, so I dusted off my old tumblr page here because I just HAVE to get this off my chest. Star vs. The Forces of Evil has been one of my favorite shows of the last five years or so. I like having it on in the background while I write or do other stuff. And I’m still going to do that, up to Season 3. Because I refuse to let Season 4 take my love of the first three seasons away from me. That would be letting it win.

The only other thing I can think of offhand that makes me want to rant like this are the Star Wars prequels. That’s because I don’t like to hate things. If I’m going to spend my time watching or reading or listening to something, I’d like to enjoy it. So even if I don’t think something is great, or even really that good, I’d far and away prefer to focus on what I actually did like about it and try to gloss over the bad things.

So I tried to like season 4, I really, really did. And you know what? For most of it, I was doing a pretty good job of liking it! There were some very funny bits in there, and some very sweet ones. ‘Curse of the Blood Moon’ in particular was a great episode. I liked Kelly & Marco being break-up buddies, that was adorable, even if we all knew it wasn’t gonna last. I think Pony Head can be hilarious under the right circumstances, and she was in fine form in both ‘The Pony Head Show’ and ‘Queen-Napped.’

Right from the beginning, I thought that Moon just being on Pie Island and wrapping that up so nice and neat seemed kind of anticlimactic, but I could deal. As time went on and it became clear Eclipsa really wasn’t planning anything more sinister than getting Globgor uncrystallized, I started thinking that maybe this last season was going to call back to earlier days. Not so much an intricate plot, but just fun adventures with the characters we love. The fact that they seemed to be setting up Mina as the big last antagonist seemed to support that. Ludo, too was one of those cases where I thought they could have done more with it, but he ended up happy, so that’s okay. Maybe he’d help out a little in the end!

In light of all that, when Star went back to Echo Creek, I was 100% into it. I was feeling it. Again, Beach Day ended up feeling rather anticlimactic, but it was sweet, and I saw what they were going for. We have some fun back on Earth, Mina causes trouble, they go back to fix it...maybe Mina ends up on Earth somehow and we gotta beat her there, whatever. Star probably decides she wants to stay on Earth with Marco, at least for now, the end. I might end up feeling like I wanted more, but I would have been quite pleased with that.

Then they just decided to set fire to the whole fucking thing in the last four episodes. Let’s start with Mina working for Moon. That was a legitimately shocking twist when it was revealed. And if they had done something GOOD with it, it could have been a great plot point. But seriously, Moon’s ENTIRE plan was to turn Mina and the Solarians loose and force Eclipsa & Globgor to abdicate & exile themselves. And her only contingency plan was a spell to turn the Solarian’s power off that she obviously hadn’t tested. That is a STUPID and DESPERATE plan that puts so very, very many innocents, both Mewmans and Monsters, in lethal danger. It is unlike Moon on just about every conceivable level.

But you know what? The fact that they just threw Moon’s character into the woodchipper DOESN’T EVEN MATTER, because the situation is just ripped out of her hands almost instantly. Seriously. Imagine if Mina had gathered her army by herself and was acting alone, and Moon really was just there to help. What would be different about the way the plot unfolded? I guess Star wouldn’t be angry at Moon, but she never really DID anything about that anger, so...yeah. You just made Moon a villain for no reason whatsoever. Nice.

Or was that anger supposed to be what pushed Star over the edge into deciding magic was bad? This. This development, pulled COMPLETELY out of nowhere, was really what made me hate the whole thing. Frankly, this whole bit makes me so mad I can hardly see straight. Magic is bad, and we need to destroy it? When up to that exact moment we’d been using magic, learning about magic, protecting magic, remaking magic, loving magic.

Up until that exact moment there had never been a single instant where the characters, or us viewers, were asked to even consider the idea that the world would be better off without magic. And in one little fit of pique, Star just turned one of the show’s central concepts on it’s head. It’s like one of those impulsive bad ideas she has that someone needs to talk her down from...except this time everybody, even people who will cease to exist, just go right along with it!

To be honest, I actually don’t like the ‘In the End, Magic is BAD’ trope in fiction in general, even if it’s set up well. It’s reminiscent of those stories where someone from our world ends up in some amazing magical realm, saves the day, and decides to return to Earth. It’s like the lesson is that our mundane reality is somehow better than an awesome fantasy world. (For the record, if I was the magical savior of some mystical realm where I’d be a hero forever, unless I’ve got the love of my life and/or non-adult children back here, I’m gone. Sorry, friends and family. I’ll try my best to send word so you know I’m not dead, but...)

This time, however, it was NOT setup well. This was GARBAGE. They just threw it in at the last second, and expected us to go right along with it., despite it being completely against the tone of the show up to that exact moment. This is just BAD WRITING.

Was it supposed to be some kind of allegory for power in general? Because if so, it’s a REALLY shitty one. The people in charge are always going to have power, magic, military, political, whatever. Whoever’s gonna end up in charge of Mewni Creek is still going to have power, whether they’ve got magic or not. The idea should be to use that power responsibly, for the good of everyone.

So, magic is gone. The Magic High Commission is dead. I mean, I guess they were fiendish villains, even though we had no time at all to process them in that role. So, I guess they deserved it? Even though Moon was at least as culpable as any of them, and we forgave her instantly. Well, again, that didn’t really matter at all. And Glossaryck’s gone. I mean, he doesn’t necessarily have to make sense, and he really stopped being a character in Season 2, so that’s legitimately okay. I mean, it seems like they might have been going for something with him creating the wand and giving it to the first user in the past...that seemed like a thing worth exploring. But then a lot of other things did, too. Like ‘Eclipsa’s’ most dangerous spell. That REALLY seemed like that was going to be a thing. But it was really just Solaria’s Total Annhiliation Spell, and it didn’t really go anywhere. Eclipsa used it, and it was bad, and she didn’t use it again. Guess we’re done with that!

Poor Doop-Doop though, huh? And Spider With a Top Hat, the Warnicorns, the Narwhals...bummer for all of them. I mean, they REALLY fail to make it clear whether ALL magic is gone, or just the Butterfly magic. Admittedly, killing all the magic in the universe seems like a gigantic decision to make for literally everyone...seems like that would wipe who knows how many sentient beings out of existence. And then Pony Head can still float...honestly, it’s obvious the writers didn’t really care one way or the other, so why should we?

But either way, the spells in the wand are all dead, and so is Doop-Doop. Was Doop-Doop a subtle hint that the show’s creators had stopped giving a shit, and so should we? I mean, being voiced by Justin Roiland, he kind of automatically has that ‘nothing matters’ tone from Rick and Morty. And showing up at the end like that, his only real purpose seems to be to remind us that he’s gonna die along with all the other spells. To say nothing of Hekapoo. It’s ASTONISHING how little we’re supposed to care about the effects of what they did beyond ‘Magic is Bad, Stop Mina.’ Mina got slurped down by a corrupt unicorn that also never really got any kind of satisfactory exploration, by the way.

This was SO BAD. AWFUL. TERRIBLE. It’s so bad, I honestly can’t believe the creators actually thought it was good. I mean, I can see Nefcy & Company being really upset about not getting more than four seasons...that is justifiable anger, and Disney should DEFINITELY have given them at least a fifth season. Were they so upset that they just kind of wanted to torch the thing on the way out? Or did they just not care and they felt this was just the easiest, laziest way to shut it all down? Because I do NOT believe that they thought this was a good finale. I will NEVER believe that.

By the time the worlds merged, or Echo Creek was absorbed into Mewni, or whatever the hell that all was, I was pretty much emotionally numb. So, yeah, that part’s fine, whatever it’s supposed to be.

I’m glad Star and Marco ended up together. But that was only one part of why I liked the show, and they were always going to get together anyway. If Starco was literally the only reason I watched the show, I probably would have been okay with the ending. But it wasn’t, and the finale shredded pretty much everything else. So, to hell with it.

As far as I’m concerned, Divide & Conquer were the last episodes.

#star vs the forces of evil #finale #review #i hated it #cleaved

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monkey-network · 7 years ago

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Good Stuff ~ Stray Thoughts: The Emoji Movie

If anyone says anything, I’ll plot to make the Meme Movie a reality

They really had to make a gag out of a studio logo. Hoo boy.

The Smartphone: the CIA’s perfect stalking device. #tapeyourcams

Addie McCallister? The 14th prettiest girl in Gotti High School? Why does she look like that one girl from Paranorman?

My world never revolved around a phone. I just had a laptop. Lucky bastards.

Who threw a paper airplane in the classroom? Fuck is this, 2002?

The main character literally called himself a tool. Great start.

Wait, the devil emoji’s supposed to be purple. Can you not even emoji right, movie?

Anyone can be meh for long periods of time. Just watch a D&D stream.

How do donuts reprodu--nevermind, I already figured it out

“Monkey business”. Okay, one point for the movie.

A emoji fart joke. Alex, you’re---you just suck

No, I don’t wanna imagine emojis having buttholes

I would ask how does a poop emoji poop, but then I realize that they’re releasing a toxic part of themselves and I feel worse for thinking that

Few seconds in, and Maya Rudolph already gave us an uncomfortable character

This machine looks slow. Like, I’ve not seen a single person in real life text one emoji at a time at a snail’s pace

Ah, elitism. Just what I wanted in my kids film

“Words aren’t cool.” This kid sounds like a perfect bullying target

I’d say “Goddammit Gene, you had one job.” But how would you feel if it’s your first and your God is literally pointing you out?

Okay, Patrick Stewart helped this movie get another point.

Great Gene, you screwed up messenger, however that happened

I would ask why the eggplant is apparently never used in this world, but I remember the cucumber emoji exists. That’s some 2038 thinking

Jailbreak? More like Jailbait. Swiggedy Swooty.

Hi-5 is a wanker.

Did they just use sleeping corpses as disguises?

Yes Gene, suffer in that black hole.

Awwww, cute emoji DOGGOS! Okay, 3 points for the movie

Okay, that Facebook joke hit way too close to home

Who tries to hide a piracy app? Seriously, if I don’t wanna pay more to watch cartoons online, I’ll gladly go to Kimcart--FBI, OPEN UP!

I would ask why trolls are actual beings in this world, but then I remember the internet can house the most disgusting people on the planet without having to show a face so I’ll let it slide

“Hack Daniels” I’m either still high or that was clever

Hey, it’s Chloe Price except I don’t want her dead. Also, why is she messing with dem holograms anyways? “Stimming” Oh, everything makes sense now.

*record scratch* Hold up. They’re falling down into an app but the apps aren’t layered on top of each other? *sigh* Lost one point, movie.

I would be mad at the obvious Candy Crush product placement, but I’m even more mad because Soda Saga is clearly the BETTER version

We get it, movie. Hi-5 is the fat one

You know, Alex, you wouldn’t be as befuddled if you didn’t have the volume up high, or screen lock off, or the phone on. How do you teenager poorly?

Ah murder, just what I need in my kids films

The Cloud. I remember when that felt like a safe place to hide your NSFW art.

Wait, why Drupbux of all sites? Mega.nz is kinda better.

Jeez Jailbrick, Gene was just finishing your idea, he wasn’t taking it. Don’t be such a Tumblr user

I don’t get the point of Pen Pineapple Apple Pen. It’s just a dude dancing while wasting two good looking fruits by stabbing ink in them.

Okay, Gene’s parents are a highlight of this movie

KITTY!!! Also, Jailbreak got a weave.

Just Dance? Pfft, baby ass game. Only true gamers play Michael Jackson: The Experience.

Oh my god, they actually made an MJ joke. Bravo, movie.

These motherfuckers did not just put Wham! as a part of their soundtrack. I’m taking away another point.

“Throw some sauce on that dance burrito”? I would’ve gone with “Shake some spice on them boogie cookies” but whatever works.

M’kay, this ‘Just dance’ scene has so much wrong

Jailbreak said “Slay”

Emoji booty shaking

We go from Wham! to Christina Aguilera like a bipolar mixtape

They add stock sound effects for no reason

The Emoji Bop: or Kidz Bop’s take on Peek A Boo

Beyond the predictable shocker of Jailbreak wearing a weave, I almost saw some upskirt. Yes, I’m sinking my dignity to a pretty good low. Also, I like her better with the wig on.

Turn your phone off, Alex! God, you deserve to be ridiculed and shoved in a locker!

Why do they need the fa- Hand emoji? He honestly added nothing to this journey.

“Well what good is it to be number 1 if there aren’t any other numbers?” Ugh, that sounds like something I would want to say.

You know I would be mad at the Spotify product placement if it wasn’t for the fact that I illegally download music.

The Struggle of Mortality. I am digging this.

Okay, now I’m mad at the Spotify product placement. What is with this movie and its trash ass music? Thirty. Minutes. LEFT!

What group of friends like to go to the phone store? The humans are the worst part of this movie.

“Stereotype”? When has birds coming around to the sound of music ever been a bad thing?

Honestly? Better love story than the Hunger Games. (Talking ‘bout the meh parents, BTW)

Obligatory action scene

Drupbux? Malware protected? HA HA HAA! No.

It’s TJ Miller’s career: Up in flames

So Jailback’s plan was basically me trying to guess a password for an account I forgotten ages ago? Dumbass.

Jailbreak can look up old emails? PERFECT! We can incriminate the Clintons once and for all.

The password is his crush’s name? Okay, Alex.... is kind of a creep.

The cloud looks generic as fuck

Huh, this is an actually good turning point. A predictable one, yet good nonetheless. How did people take this as sexist?

Will Gene and Jailbreak just sex already? Wait, how do emojis do it? They got such big hea-oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

I would be cackling my ass off at the Twitter logo if--no, that is straight up the 2nd dumbest thing in this movie.

How will Alex recognize that the malfunction is gone? Computers don’t just magically look better when you erase all the viruses in them. God, this plan is stupid. Smiler’s just a psychopath, like a Cable News Exec.

She fuggin’ dead.

Alex...is a guy that would fuck up a cup of coffee

So lucky Gene was able to emote in time before everyone dies

“I like that you’re one of those guys that can express his feelings.” So let me get this straight, heheh, I can pick up chicks....with gifs? Movie, you’re blowing my mind.

Because you can stop a factory reset like it’s nothing.

Hi-5 is still a wanker.

Again, with this trash music? Flog yourself, movie, I’m tired of you.

YEAH! DANCE PARTY because nobody died! YEAH, MORTALITY!

Okay, second highlight of this film is the credits theme ‘Good Vibrations’. The OST is shit except for this.

So, I honestly enjoyed this movie, be it me laughing at it or the genuinely good moments that reside in the heap of mediocrity and shamelessness. The humans, the “villain”, and the soundtrack is all that I really hate about this film, otherwise I’d watch it again if I had the time and “opportunity”. But, since I actually liked this film, I’m gonna have to go into hiding. You never know when [KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!] Oh god, I’m gone.

#emoji movie #cartoons #movies #animations #long post #nostalgia #thoughts #Good Stuff #reviews

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