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autistic-ben-tennyson · 26 days

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In Defense of Shinji/Rei

Out of all the pairings in the Evangelion fandom, Shinji/Rei is one of the most controversial and least popular, especially here on tumblr. It did have some popularity at one point but that has died down in favor of Kawoshin and Asurei. It’s a ship that I, and many others, feel is often mischaracterized and dismissed due to its more controversial elements but one that is honestly very emotional and deserves less hate in my opinion, as do it’s shippers who people also have a misguided view of. Fandom in general has become more moralistic and puritanical in recent years. It’s like no one learned a thing from the SU fandom discourse where people were bullied or called homophobic for liking a certain pairing over the other.

Argument 1: she’s his mother/sister

The most common criticism of the pairing is that it’s incest and that their relationship is that of a brother-sister or mother-son. First, Rei’s whole arc in the show is that she’s not just a clone or copy of Yui or Lilith. She’s her own person with her own desires which is why her loyalty to Gendo wanes as she becomes more of an individual. Her DNA also isn’t that similar to Shinji and only a small amount of Yui’s was used. The rest was affected by Lilith hence the differences in their appearance. So there is a little bit of blood relation but it’s not on the same level of say Bwen or Pinecest. Incest is terrible because it’s a betrayal of family trust and abuse but Shinji and Rei met as teens and were not raised as siblings, nor did he know of her origin until Ritsuko explained it.

I’ve also seen the argument that their bond is sibling-like or Shinji views her as a Madonna/mother figure. Anno has stated that he intended there to be a “love triangle” with the pilot trio and show’s proposal described Rei as having “learned about feelings when she fell in love”. While that info comes from Reddit and may not be reliable, it does challenge the idea that there was no intention for their dynamic to be romantic.

Next, antis really take that elevator scene out of context where Shinji was complimenting her on being like a mom while ignoring him telling her she’d make a good housewife. The rebuilds and manga make their connection more blatant but it was always there. Misato, Toji and Kensuke all tease Shinji about his crush and the two act as friends after warming up despite their icy first interactions. There may be some maternal aspects to it but it’s rather simplistic to dumb their bond down to a family connection. It seems antis argue that they’re siblings because the romantic implications are uncomfortable and antis don’t want to admit that they do have feelings for each other.

Argument 2: it’s misogynistic and queer erasure

Okay, this is a less common argument against it but one I’ve seen from popular Eva analysis writers that view Kawoshin as the only valid pairing for Shinji. I’ve seen it used against Asushin and Marishin too. This goes hand and hand with the idea that Shinji views Rei as a Madonna and is misogynistic. I have a lot of thoughts about the “Shinji is an incel misogynist and Asuka did nothing wrong” discourse but that’s for another day. He’s not a perfect uwu soft boy but fans seem to base his entire characterization off the hospital scene in rather single issue Eva analyses that cherry-pick certain scenes or dialogue.

The argument that it’s queer erasure is one I’m starting to despise. Yes, there are homophobic dudebro fans who hate Kawoshin but not everyone who prefers a “straight” pairing is anti gay. Shinji could still be bisexual and be in a m/f relationship. I’ve also seen some ship him in a polycule with Rei and Kaworu. Plus, not everyone has to interpret the show or character the same way. The writers made it so people can view Kawoshin as romantic and Shinji as queer, but never demanded that be the only possible interpretation.

This kind reminds me of something I’ve occasionally seen in the Ben 10 fandom too. A few fans, not all of them, treating the wholesome gay ship as the only good pairing because of the problematic elements in the m/f ships or because they view the male protagonist as a misogynist. The “male character is sexist or a bad boyfriend so let’s make him gay” is also a fandom trope that kind of irritates me. Not every ship has be gay or a girlboss romance either.

Argument 3: they’re kids and you can’t ship them

This is one of the least common criticisms but one that I’ve occasionally encountered. First, they’re 14 which is around the time a lot of teens start dating. Second, romance =/= sex and child/teen characters can have romantic feelings for each other. Yes, ship wars over fictional kids can escalate but there’s nothing wrong with just liking a pairing. This post about Chihiro and Haku’s bond from Spirited Away kind of applies here too.

My thoughts: why do I love this pairing?

I first fell in love with this ship because I watched the rebuilds first on Amazon Prime and didn’t know the series was on Netflix because my account, embarrassingly, still has parental controls on it. I know they’re not everyone’s cup of tea but I liked them. Shinji was a character I really connected to and so was Rei. Their relationship got me a bit emotional and the scene where Shinji attempts to save her had me on the edge of my seat, while the scene where Shinji accepts Rei Q got a tear out of me as did the apology scene in 3.0+1.0.

If I had to compare them to any other pairing, which I’ve done before, it would be Hodaka/Hina from Weathering with You which also is a bit divisive and a bit of a tearjerker. Ironically, EoE is one of Makoto Shinkai’s favorites and he considers Anno an inspiration. Everything from their bond to Hodaka’s character and Hina’s arc of a blue haired girl, blackish-blue in Hina’s case, that’s lived a difficult life and who’s only purpose is to be a sacrificial lamb, learning to pray for herself is a lot like Shinji/Rei, down the ending of WWY being a lot like that of 2.22. The scene where Hodaka gives Hina a promise ring is also a little like the “smile” moment from Episode 6/1.11.

Conclusion

In short, Shinji/Rei isn’t a bad pairing and is overhated and misrepresented by many in the fandom. It’s fine to dislike it or prefer another ship but one can do so without chomping at the bit to paint its shippers as homophobes, misogynists or people with incest fetishes or Oedipal complexes. Many of us like it because it’s one of the least toxic relationships in the series and is honestly a very powerful story. Are there some questionable elements in it? Sure, but you can like a ship even if it’s not up to golden moral standards and expecting every pairing to be unproblematic is ridiculous. Real life is much more grey than what moralistic fans claim.

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princess-sof-time · 1 year

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Relationship and cuddling headcanons for asuka, rei, misato and mari please? Hope you're having a good day

Yes I do and I hope you are having a good day too. I hope you don't mind that I added Shinji and Kaworu, I was very excited about this request

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ──────

🄰🅂🅄🄺🄰 🄻🄰🄽🄶🄻🄴🅈

• When Asuka is in a relationship, her facade of toughness and confidence fades away, revealing a woman who values trust and emotional intimacy above all else. In intimate and private moments, when she feels safe and protected next to her partner, Asuka indulges in the loving act of hugging and being hugged.

• Her preferred way of snuggling is snuggling up in a snuggle position with her partner, where his arms are wrapped around her, creating a feeling of protection and comfort. In this affectionate gesture, she allows herself to be vulnerable, finding safety in the arms of someone she has learned to trust deeply.

• Still, even in moments of closeness and affection, Asuka doesn't lose her sense of spontaneity and playfulness. She appreciates the teasing tone and good-natured rapport with her partner, keeping the spirit light and fun in even the most affectionate hugs. This type of dynamic is an opportunity for her to open up and show her more sensitive side, while creating an environment of complicity and mutual trust with her partner.

• As the relationship deepens, Asuka also learns to trust her partner's ability to support her emotionally. She finds solace and comfort in tender moments, knowing that she can count on the person beside her to share her deepest fears and anxieties.

• Through these affectionate exchanges, Asuka grows as an individual and as a partner, developing an intimate connection that transcends appearances and reveals her true essence. In the warmth of hugs and the security of mutual love, Asuka blossoms into a more complete and fulfilled person alongside those she loves.

🅁🄴🄸 🄰🅈🄰🄽🄰🄼🄸

• Rei is known for her reserve and initial shyness, but as she gets closer to her partner, she gradually reveals a more caring and caring facet. This journey of emotional discovery is a delicate and profound process in which Rei learns to trust her partner and allow herself to express her feelings with greater openness and vulnerability.

• When the couple decides to snuggle, Rei prefers serene and peaceful environments where she can truly relax and form a deep connection with her partner. These intimate moments are precious to her, as they allow intimacy to grow and flourish in an environment of mutual trust.

• The form of hugging that most attracts Rei is face-to-face contact, as she values the closeness of her partner's eyes and the soft touch of her skin. In these hugs, she feels like she can connect on deeper levels, sharing her thoughts and emotions with a sincere and warm gaze.

• The simplicity of physical touch is a source of great comfort to Rei. She finds tranquility and warmth when holding hands or intertwining fingers during moments of affection. This subtle form of affection conveys a sense of security and protection, allowing her to feel truly at ease and loved.

• As the relationship develops, Rei goes beyond the barriers that have kept her apart and surrenders to her partner's love and care. This progressive surrender is like a delicate dance of emotional connection, in which both partners engage in a mutual exchange of affection and support.

• Rei learns to value the special moments shared with her loved one, building affectionate memories that become fundamental pillars in their relationship. She discovers that, even in her vulnerability, there is a unique strength and beauty, and it is through this self-knowledge that she becomes an even more loving and dedicated partner.

• Together they create a space of mutual understanding and acceptance, where empathy and affection blossom in every embrace, imbuing the relationship with extraordinary depth and beauty. Thus, Rei reveals herself not only as a mysterious being, but as a loving soul, capable of finding genuine happiness alongside someone who truly loves her.

🄼🄸🅂🄰🅃🄾 🄺🄰🅃🅂🅄🅁🄰🄶🄸

• Misato with her warm and welcoming personality, proves to be a caring and caring partner, tirelessly dedicating herself to ensuring that her loved one feels truly cherished and loved. In their relationship, she becomes a safe haven, a refuge where both can allow themselves to be vulnerable and authentic, without fear of judgment.

• When it comes to hugs, Misato doesn't hesitate to initiate cuddle sessions, showing her affection openly and genuinely. She treasures these moments of closeness as she believes that affectionate touch is a powerful way to express love and comfort to her partner. In Misato's arms, her lover finds a place where he can feel embraced with his whole being, which further strengthens the bond between them.

• Misato is an expert at balancing tenderness with passion in the hugs she shares with her partner. Sometimes, she opts for soft and quiet caresses, providing a sense of calm and security that helps relieve the stress of everyday life. At other times, she surrenders to more intense hugs, filled with passion and desire, feeding the flame of attraction and love between them.

• One of Misato's favorite places to enjoy these tender moments is in the comfort of the sofa, while watching movies or series together. Snuggled under a blanket, she wraps her partner in her arms, creating an atmosphere of complicity and shared connection. The magic of cinema mixes with the magic of love, making these moments truly special.

• Another of Misato's favorite times to snuggle is in the quiet of her room before bed. Under the soft light of the stars or the moon, she surrenders to affectionate embraces, finding solace and security in the arms of her beloved. In these intimate moments, they can share their deepest thoughts and confide in each other with their dreams and fears.

• As the relationship grows stronger, Misato learns to read her partner's emotional needs, responding with tender hugs in times of sadness and passionate hugs in times of joy. This emotional sensitivity further strengthens the bond between them, creating a solid foundation for the enduring love they share.

• In short, Misato is a loving and devoted partner whose affectionate touch transcends the physical, nourishing her loved one's soul with unconditional love, comfort and support. Each embrace is an expression of the deep affection she feels, and in each embrace, the love between them blossoms and grows, making their lives richer and more meaningful.

🄼🄰🅁🄸 🄸🄻🄻🅄🅂🅃🅁🄸🄾🅄🅂

• Mari is a free and adventurous soul, and her relationships reflect this hallmark of her personality. She is passionate about spontaneous and emotional moments with her partner, constantly looking for new ways to create unforgettable memories together.

• One of the ways Mari expresses her affection in a playful way is through surprise hug attacks. Amidst infectious laughter, she surprises her partner with a tender hug, enveloping them in her arms with a warm, affectionate touch. These unassuming moments are one of the many ways she shows how much she cares and values their shared connection.

• For Mari, hugging is not limited to closed spaces; she finds great joy in cuddling outdoors, enjoying the beauty of nature as her backdrop. Lying in a field of soft grass, or on a starry night, while contemplating the night sky, they surrender to each other's arms, immersed in the serenity and charm of nature. Each outdoor embrace becomes a magical moment, where the connection between them and the surrounding environment intertwine in a unique harmony.

• Mari loves to vary her hugging positions, always looking to keep things fresh and dynamic in their relationship. From the hugs behind her back as she lovingly wraps her partner around, to the simple act of lying side by side, her cuddling moments are never dull. The ability to adapt and explore different forms of physical contact makes your hugs special, as each position conveys a unique feeling of closeness and affection.

• Mari's adventurous spirit also extends beyond hugs, creating a life full of surprises and innovations. She strives to make each day special for her partner, finding creative ways to express her affection and nurture the love they share. This willingness to embrace the new and the unexpected makes their relationship an exciting journey full of discovery.

• At heart, Mari is an affectionate, passionate partner whose hugs overflow with joy, love and an unwavering quest for adventure. With her, every hug is a celebration of the present, a demonstration of her unconditional love, and a constant reminder that the best thing in life is to embrace each moment with passion and gratitude.

🅂🄷🄸🄽🄹🄸 🄸🄺🄰🅁🄸

• Shinji, a sensitive and introspective individual, values emotional connection as a crucial aspect of his relationships. Your delicate heart yearns for a partnership that understands and supports your insecurities, making the presence of your loved one a source of comfort and support amid life's turmoil.

• Shinji longs for a relationship that makes him feel safe and loved. He values trust and honesty, seeking a partner who can provide a steady, steady presence in his life. When he finds someone he can fully trust, he becomes more open and receptive to expressing his feelings, creating a genuine emotional bond.

• For Shinji, hugs become an anchor for his tormented soul. He values gentle, tender hugs that make him feel protected and loved. When his beloved embraces him in a warm embrace, Shinji feels a sense of calm and security, as if all his fears and worries have temporarily disappeared.

• Eye contact is a powerful form of communication for Shinji. By hugging face to face, he can look into his partner's eyes and share his emotions more deeply and meaningfully. This emotional closeness strengthens the bond between them, allowing both to feel truly understood and loved.

• Shinji can be initially shy and reserved about showing physical affection, but as he trusts his partner and feels safe in the relationship, he becomes more comfortable expressing his affection through hugging and touching. His initial shyness is not a barrier, but rather a sign that he is willing to open up and allow his beloved to gradually approach him.

• Shinji treasures the moments he can snuggle with his partner during times of emotional vulnerability. In moments of sadness or worry, a warm hug can be the best form of support and comfort he needs. Your loved one's compassionate presence gives you strength to face your inner challenges and find peace amid adversity.

• Shinji seeks a relationship where communication is open and honest. He appreciates it when his partner expresses kind and supportive words, reinforcing his value and importance in the other's life. This constant communication helps build trust between them, further strengthening the emotional bond they share.

• For Shinji, hugs are a form of love language that transcends words. Through touch and physical closeness, he finds a powerful way to express his affection and connect emotionally with his partner. Each hug is an opportunity to nurture and strengthen your love for each other, building a lasting and meaningful relationship.

• In the end, Shinji yearns for a relationship that will bring him warmth, emotional security, and a space where he can truly be himself. Through loving hugs and a deep emotional connection, he finds the comfort and strength to face life's challenges, knowing he has a partner by his side who supports him unconditionally.

🄺🄰🅆🄾🅁🅄 🄽🄰🄶🄸🅂🄰

• Kaworu, with his loving and empathetic nature, is a devoted partner who puts his loved one's needs and emotions first. His ability to tune in to emotional nuances makes him an attentive and sensitive companion, able to offer unconditional support and understanding.

• For Kaworu, hugs represent a unique language of affection and emotional connection. He values every moment of physical closeness as an opportunity to deepen his connection with his partner, using tender touch as a way of expressing his deepest feelings. Through each affectionate hug, Kaworu demonstrates the dedication and genuine love he feels for his beloved, strengthening the mutual trust in their relationship.

• Flexibility is one of Kaworu's main characteristics when hugging. He easily adapts to different positions, as he knows that his partner's comfort is essential to create an environment conducive to affection. Whether in a spoonful hug to convey security and protection, or in a hand-in-hand hug to reinforce the emotional connection, Kaworu always seeks the best way to provide comfort and affection to her loved one.

• The moments of embracing in serenity and tranquility are especially meaningful to Kaworu. He appreciates the moments when he can fully focus on his partner, without outside distractions, allowing both of them to engage in an exchange of deep feelings and emotions. These intimate moments of stillness strengthen the emotional intimacy between them, creating a solid foundation for the continued growth of their shared love.

• Kaworu's soft, reassuring presence makes every hug a source of peace and comfort for your partner. Her warm arms wrap tenderly, offering security and calming the heart of the loved one. In these hugs, your partner feels truly loved and supported, knowing he can count on Kaworu to be his safe haven through any of life's storms.

• With Kaworu, the act of embracing transcends the physical and becomes a journey of emotional and spiritual connection. Their loving care and unwavering dedication create an enriching relationship, where affection and mutual understanding are the pillars that support the love they have for each other. With Kaworu, his partner discovers an endless source of comfort and support, transforming each hug into a healing and heart-renewing experience.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ──────

#evangelion x reader #anime x reader #asuka langley x reader #rei ayanami x reader #kaworu nagisa x reader #shinji ikari x reader #mari illustrious x reader #headcanons

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