#remember when people hated the term pet peeves?

[nerdy-hyperfixations]

I have a hard time understanding why certain people ship certain characters. Like for me it's the *dynamic* of the two. Harry and Kim together is so incredibly interesting. You really have to delve deep into why and how it could work

Harry is a broken man who doesn't see worth in his life and half-glorifies Kim. Would he want to rush in to a relationship with Kim, chasing the feeling of warmth but potentially at the cost of an actually sustainable relationship; or would his self worth put a block on his efforts as he deems himself unworthy of love?

Harry is pretty obvious in his affections, if Kim *knows* Harry is into him, what could be preventing him from beginning a relationship? (Yes I'm still not over my "HAVE A FIC WHERE ONE CHARACTER KNOWS THE OTHER LIKES THEM PLEASEEEEE" thing. I'm begging basically)

Also, Kim is pretty repressed, its interesting to see how that effects the 'slow burn of them getting together' but also, what does that mean for him during the relationship? How does his filtered version of love affect the two? Also also, dive into what choices in life would *lead* him to be repressed and uncomfortable with love.

Like, they are very interesting characters with the unique dynamic! So... it's confusing to me when i read fics and they seem like every other cookie cutter relationship out there where the issue is always "omg! I think I like him! But... what if he doesn't like me back? Oh no!" And then after 12 chapters of miscommunication they get together and it's perfect and fluffy and they lay in bed and one says something stupid so the smart one says "you're incorrigible" (the invalid hatred I have for the word incorrigible now) and then it ends. Like why do you like these characters together specifically???

I think this is why I fell REALLY hard into toxic dynamics in the Gravity Falls fandom last year. I was like "Billford is so unique, no one could ever turn it into a miscommunication fluff fic!" And then people did, and I screamed in agony. Not to mention everyone falling head over heals over Fiddlestan and then suddenly it wasn't fucked up and chaotic anymore but instead they were 💙perfect boyfriends❤️ LIKE-

Why would one pick characters that would have an incredibly interesting dynamic and then shove them into the same mold? (I mean... i know the real answer. It's because it's easy. It's incredibly hard to write a fic where you have to disect a fictional characters feelings. Why *would* someone not date someone who they know is into them and they are also into? Its just easier to have them not know. This is why I *haven't* written an extremely in depth character analysis slow burn casefic with plot so deep it's the ocean for Harry and Kim yet. That and because I'm a coward)

Anyway, this is not directed at anyone, I'm just sorta rambling into the void, but like... this bothers me. Woe is me. Boohoo. My choices are to write my own shit or deal with it, so... yeah.

[fagsex]

if you say the word 'yappuccino' or any variant of 'yap' thats clearly different from the way old ladies say it (usually used to mock someone for sharing information, being emotional, just speaking as someone out of the ordinary) i am dreaming of killing you im going to be honest. if i have to read the sentence 'what is bro yapping about' i am imagining you dead like a fish.

you know what im just going to rant about my current Hates in language. current hate thats new because i had no idea was happening is all these non black people using euphemisms/replacements for the n word ??? like using a certain emoji or using an actual abbreviation for a term including the n word, both of which black people had to create to use on tiktok or other algorithmic sites. i learned they were doing this recently and that some people even thought it stood for your/name like omfg everyone hates you and your wattpad ass you really thought that? really?

another thing i hate is overutilization of 'bro' in lieu of pronoun, i dont mean like using it on occasion in lieu of pronoun or as a nickname, i mean exclusively referring to strangers with 'bro' essentially as pronoun. like a video of a woman getting pranked and the entire comment section will be 'what is bro doing' again. all white, typically teenage, boys. i am a white boy so i know it does not truly matter my stance but it is so embarrassing to read for them. and you know in a year when they move on to new aave terminology or phrasings theyll be like "remember when we were all so embarrassing" Who Is We. im not even going to list off more examples of misappropriated aave thats In right now because its inappropriate and also impossible to make a list that isnt nonexhaustive.

on a lighter note, i HATE a 'womp womp'. or a 'who asked' especially since theyre on others peoples pages.... like who asked you for your opinion on the matter? it is not a conversation you are actively opting in to this interaction and now youre making it (by commenting on it) appear to you more (this is on algorithmic sites of course).

something ive seen too many (any is too many to be honest) of is 'wheres the hate'. i dont know if yall have caught this and obviously sometimes it can be humorous, especially punching up rather than down, but it is almost always on a video, picture, or post of a disabled person or people. like always. people will be like 'i love your smile' and fifteen edgelords will comment the identical 'bro wheres the hate'. people are turning back to Shameless cruelty in waves i think we've all noticed and yes people have always been cruel online especially and yes more people seeing things = more cruel people but theres just... i dont know.

literally any variant of mocking someone for simply posting something / speaking / existing, ie the previously mentioned 'yappuccino' 'womp womp' 'who asked', are some of my biggest pet peeves. literally the post will be "i had a good day :D" and half the people will just be on a level of hating that i would not even classify as being a hater. you are a tar pit and i have reported your comment for terrorism atp

[yuzushifuo]

OC ASK GAME LETS GOO (hopefully I'm not too late help)

1. Name/Nicknames 👁👁 (Rook and Floyd's nickname specifically, but if Leona is also applicable...)

12. Pet peeves

13. Food!

(/nf! Feel free to answer the ones you feel more comfortable in answering :> Also would love to hear for all of your ocs if you'd love to yap 👀)

YOURE NOT TOO LATE!! NO ONE ASKING ME THIS EITHER LMAO😭😭🙏❤️ i will be adding another oc that is an old one of mine but im reworking on him, i hope you dont mind!!

1. Names/Nicknames

1. Yuu Kurokawa - Yuu-kun(Cater), Shrimpy(Floyd), Trickster(Rook), Herbivore(Leona)

Literally basic prefect combo😭 I give yuu additional cater nickname since jack gets the -kun privileges from cater and i dont think yuu goes that well with -chan either LOL. Also about the shrimp since yuu look nothing like an actual shrimp, i give that floyd is talking about Snowball Shrimp instead

2. Memphis Nicholson - Memphi-chan(Cater), Clownfish(Floyd), Monsieur Director(Rook)

Memphis' club is film research club as a backstage worker, so it would be normal for her to work with Vil and got mentioned when talking with Rook. Thus the name director, though she dont like getting called director much. Also she got described as small and bubbly like a clownfish from Floyd

3. Ernst Lauritsen - Moon jellyfish(Floyd), Monsieur Carefree(Rook)

Jellyfish is taken by Silver and this is even pointed out by Floyd himself, and for Floyd Ernst is more like a moon jelly. Carefree is just his personality that he wouldnt care about everything ever at the point it kind of concerning. But even at the surface level you could tell hes carefree

4. Cedric Aldrich - Isopod(Floyd), Monsieur Melody(Rook)

"His hair reminds me of an isopod" -floyd

He is a music guy and practiced those since young esp the ones in the violin family,, i think rook overheard the performance and then now hes related to music by default

I sketched a little to help you picture him, yes this is old oc that i prob reworked like all of his stuff i cant even remember his old name so i just ball through everything rn😔

I dont think anyone is that important to have Leona setting nicknames for them LMAO,,

12. Pet peeves

Yuu - people with too much energy(changed)

Memphis - disrespect

Ernst - serious people/situations

Cedric - not prepare anything in advance

People who accidentally commit the crime:

🦋-whole of memphis existence in ramshackle pisses yuu off before they know eachother deeper and now on good terms

🐼-ex friends

🪼-riddle, azul sometimes, cedric is seen as too serious to him

🎻-himself, ernst, maybe more people

13. Food

Yuu -

Most favorite: anything with raw fish(sashimi, sushi, etc)

Least favorite: garlic, coriander

I removed spring onions because he can eat but rather not, not as much hatred as garlic and coriander, he loves sashimi most

Memphis -

Most favorite: lemon meringue tart

Least favorite: tomato

She just love very specifically lemon meringue tart, tomato have very weird texture and flavor and it creeps her out

Ernst -

Most favorite: gravy sauce

Least favorite: cheese

Cheese feels plain weird to him like the flavor it gives and gravy sauce is just "addicting" according to him

Cedric -

Most favorite: shrimp

Least favorite: potato

He hates potato texture so much he would give it to ernst in their childhood days, also he likes shrimp texture. This guy is a texture guy

Thank you so much tato for the ask😭🙏 i love how you engage a lot with my stuff i appreciate it and hope you enjoy!! Thank you!!

[tur11ngery]

Hiya hiya I’m curious on your thoughts on other 7n7 ships also have you heard of his business partner Noli and the beloved pumpkin?

other 7n7 ships r below the cut so im not clogging up everyones stream with a big wall of text :-)

7n7noli... the idea of a business partner in crime and the possible tension that could come from that is really interesting, but i dont know much about noli so im hesitant to say anything until more gets revealed. this is also affected by the fact that i dont have access to the discord server because of stupid phone verification stuff, so take it with a grain of salt.

outside of 7noli, they look so very cool!! i like their design and the fun little mask, and since malbear holds a very special place in my heart i already have a soft spot for them. :-)

im not sure whats up with the pumpkin???? i saw all the pictures on my twitter. the pumpkin looks So polite. Love the pumpkin (i think?)

1x7n7 (1x1x1x1 x 007n7) is a personal comfort of mine recently. i like their possible dynamics. i cant really explain this one besides hennghhg hackerzzz.... i think it's more like... rather than forcing their rehabilitation and betterment, they're kind of helping each other out. theyre not doing it for each other, but theyre discovering the truths of absolute love and learning how to love living... together. and also uhh smoochhhh

as is 777 (chance x 7n7 x 1337). i accidentally got way too attached to 1337n7 from one of my requests and now theyre smooching in my brain. chance and 007n7 are really cool to me because of chances thing with probability, and 007n7 and 1337 are kind of saving each other. 1337n7 are.. perfect complements, in a way. while 1x7n7 works in my head because they have so much potential to grow together, chance/1337/7n7 all complement each other in these hyperspecific ways.

i dont know about shedletsky/builderman x 7n7. sounds like a forbidden, secret thing. the admin and the hacker. could be really interesting, but it's not my thing personally, especially because theres the issue of the moral high ground when it comes to 7n7's rehabilitation. some opposition or opposing ideologies i think make ships interesting, but this is like... night and day. some might like it for its toxicity, though. i dont judge.

007n7 x elliot is a really funny idea. im not much for tragic doomed evil yaoi but theres a lot of mutual redemption to be had there that i like. that being said, it's a personal pet peeve of mine when people reduce 7n7 to either his son or his past rather than his constant state of turmoil and self-surveillance. i think this ship is hard to get right. then again, i think 7n7 and elliot are among the two hardest characters to 'get right' in terms of what a person would believably do or say with their background, along with chance.

007n7 x two time sounds sooo. intriguing, i guess? i dont know much about the church of the spawn, so i cant tell if two time would hate 7n7 for defying the will of the spawn or deify 7n7 for his power. possible fucked up dynamic to be had here. overall, pretty interesting.

john doe and 7n7 is not anything ive considered. i cant see any possible dynamic, besides 7n7 trusting himself to try to mend john doe and being conflicted on if he should and if he wants to help him bc he might remember his wife and all the attention is sooo nice. but i think 7n7 is more rational than that so... hmmm

mafioso and 007n7 is sooo funny in my head. mostly for the same reason i think pizzadebt is literally fascinating; mafioso is so abnormal. hes part of a massive mafia hivemind in my head. i like old man yaoi..... i had this fic idea a while back where 007n7 could see mafioso in the real world because of 7n7's dissociation problem. theyre cute. reminds me of the kiss painting by klimt.

if theres any i forgot, come into my askbox and yell at me. sorry for the ramble, but thank you for asking! you made my day submitting this :-)

[coral-nerd]

okay, rant-anon here, thank you so much for answering :D

and so sorry for the incoming long rant right back :D

I'm honestly a chronic restarter of games so I haven't actually gotten through year 1 yet (yet, I swear I'll get there soon) but I've played the beginning of the game a bunch of times now, so pretty much the main impression that I usually get is that everything just feels so *big* at the beginning - I remember feeling really really overwhelmed during my first playthrough, then a little less the next time, and now I have it figured out to the point where I've finally stopped worrying about rushing stuff and I'm just having fun now

I agree with your point of it being meant to be slow-paced in terms of gameplay, because wow, I spent so so so much time trying to win balap karung when it was still 1.0 (I feel like something about the minigame has changed since then? I think the bar doesn't speed up as much anymore or smth but that's irrelevant) and got so frustrated :D so I'm definitely playing it more relaxed now, just wanting to take my time when I know that things aren't going to run away from me if I don't do them immediately

one major pet peeve I have is fishing. oh my god I hate fishing so far because it feels so tedious for such a tiny reward T-T I really hope it improves as the rank goes up or something, because right now (since I've never gotten the end-game stuff) the fishing is just a four to one ratio of trash to fish, and I have to donate/offer most of the catch I get so fishing day usually ends up feeling more like a waste (I've decided not to fish until I get a better rod or smth, because this frustrates me to no end)

On another hand, though, I love the art and the different areas, it all feels so bright and so nice and does a really good job of distracting me from real life :'D

So far I've really loved the mines, though, it feels like a parallel with diving except to me, it's just more fun, I don't know if it's the sound the rocks make when they break or there's just more immediate reward, but that's how I feel (I just cleared the mines in mid-summer year 1, it's so fun to mine :D)

speaking of diving - I'm kinda mixed about it? I love the concept, I don't love the mechanic *per se*; I really enjoy collecting the little beacons (forgot the name) and I like the critters - I feel like the beacon paths can get a bit excessive towards the end (osmium and gold areas) with them circling like the whole map before they finally settle T-T

I also feel like with the merfolk, it's kind of out of hand? I have literally no reason to visit the kingdom (other than the very beautiful and lovely npcs ofc) now that I've opened it, and it just feels a liiiittle bit like a chore at the moment, but thankfully not enough to make me hate it, so I'm bearing with it right now

I do love having the chance to get my own mermaid tail, though, that's a fun one :D

...you're apologizing for the thing I specifically requested??? Rude!

That feeling of Coral Island being so BIG has definitely put a lot of people off it! And it just kinda keeps Being big, getting bigger and bigger, and then just- suddenly stops. And then there's nothing. And it feels so Weird.

So in this case I think being a chronic re-starter is almost the only way to play! I said in another post how I enjoyed the updates coming out slowly so I could get used to each thing at a time; if I'd had to face the entire game all at once I might've given up!

I LOVE fishing! But I simply will not do it until I have an osmium rod and at least Rank C, because otherwise it's entirely pointless. Unless you want to be irritated, ig. But once you've got the good rod and rank, you can find so many utterly gorgeous fishing spots! (See my post about my favorite fishing spots XD). And the computer helps with the museum grind.

Mines are SO satisfying! And I love how different each aesthetic is! Especially the Secret mine :3 But it gets very grindy by the end, and I've done too much mining so now I basically have the layouts memorised. Except for those levels that are scarily big. But it is fun to see how fast you can get through it, especially if you don't upgrade the pickax much!

Diving I think definitely needs a bit of a re-work; I think ideally they would make it so other npcs could help you slash that trash. And I think there used to be speculation that there would be other mechanics to clear large swaths at a time. But right now it gets really tedious, even for me, who earns the Big Bucks by doing all the long repetitive tasks everyone hates.

!!! Oh wait that's exactly how I've been feeling about the merfolk!!! I just didn't Realise! 'Cause like, on land you naturally run into townies on your way to do whatever you gotta do, and that's how friendships build. You can Choose to seek out a specific character, but they're mostly out there living their lives.

But merfolk... yeah they're all in a tiny space doing the same thing every day with no variation. You won't naturally run into them anywhere, even when you unlock the shops. And if you try to seek them out on purpose, odds are they're in a room you can't reach because your friendship isn't high enough. Which means your friendship can't get high enough. Endless loop!

I think I'd really like to see your thoughts on the farmer questionnaire I have pinned, 'cause you kind of just naturally answered half of it already!

[countlessrealities]

Respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better.

Roleplayer name: Scotty

Roleplayer pronouns: They/Them

Muse name(s): I have a few, so I won't list them all. My currently main / default ones are C-137 Rick, Evil Morty, Evil Rick, Vaggie and Alastor

Preferred communication: Discord first and foremost, because it makes it easier for me to remember which conversations I have ongoing. I make do with Tumblr IMs too, though.

Experience: I'm not fully sure, but I've been RPing on and off for over 10 years now! I've used Tumblr the most (and it's my main platform for RPing), but I RP on Discord too selectively.

Preferred roleplay type: I'm a descriptive writer, so my usual style is multi-para to novella for plotted threads / long term interactions. I enjoy building dynamics and verses, so I prefer my main interactions with my partners to be semi-plotted, so we can have a general idea of the scenario / themes we want to explore. However, I'm also very open to short and unplotted shenanigans, from time to time. They are a lot of fun and I'm more than happy to indulge in them with the people I have developed verses / dynamics.

Pet peeves & dealbreakers: - Main pet peeves: Untagged posts / untagged NSFW, too fancy tags that are hard to blacklist, people who try to force their personal headcanons / views on others, having to do all the work when it comes to plotting, showing interest, sending memes, etc and never seeing my efforts returned, people who never specify muses when sending memes / liking starter calls and inbox calls / the likes. - Main dealbreakers: Untagged graphic sexual content, frequently reblogged callout posts, any sort of involvement in senseless drama / cyberbullying / anon hate, replies formatted so much that they are hard to read, being harassed for faster replies.

Best time to write: Once upon a time, I would have said "at night", but these days I write when I can, aka when my job leaves me time and energy for it (assuming that my inspiration cooperates).

Are you like your muses? I'm not exactly like any of my muses (for better and for worse), but I can relate to each one of them in a way or another. Being able to feel a somewhat personal connection to the character is one of the reasons that pushes me to pick said character up as a muse. Also, just in case you're wonder, yes, the fact that most of my muses are psychos or not exactly amazing people is probably very telling x'D

Tagged by: stolen from @mcltiples Tagging: Anyone who wants to steal it !

[capricioussun]

@neonstarslight : "Hello, you would like questions about the goofy goober? (Thought up some, of course pick what you want to/can answer)"

Does he like people? Is he more introverted or extroverted, or is it a case of extroverted around the right people? What kind of people is he prone to like? What kinds of people is he prone to dislike?

I think overall he's very asocial. Due to the scrambling of his mind when he was...whatever happened to him, he's kind of caught in a perpetual cycle of "looking for his home" and forgetting what he was doing/why he’s doing it.

That being said, if something doesn't feel like it's working toward his purpose, it frustrates and annoys him. He’s kind of perpetually disoriented, and only ever feels locked in when he’s gotten "a lead" on either his search or remembering what he was doing in the first place, and then he completely locks in, obsessively, until he either forgets or is forcibly derailed.

So basically he just doesn't care much for interacting with anyone really, unless he thinks it'll help him lol (or he mistakes them for his own universe's version of someone, then he comes across very happy to see them and tries to ask about getting home, usually much to the aversion of whoever he’s approached)

~

Does he have pet peeves? What are they? Are there things people do that are absolute deal breakers if he can put up with them?

One pet peeve would probably be arguing with him. Maybe he doesn't always know exactly what's going on, but he refuses to believe anything contrary to what he’s believing in the moment. He’s stubborn and at times delusional - working him out of the delusion by telling him it is one is about as efficient as telling someone with depression to be happy.

Another would probably be slowness. Hates people doing things slowly. Maybe he doesn't have the most energy in the multiverse, but he’s also impatient, and doesn't like being still for any amount of time whatsoever.

As for putting up with things that upset him, absolutely not. Has next to no tolerance for things like that.

~

Is his own personality and expression consistent, or does he switch from one thing to another? If he changes, is it a rapid change, or is it a slow change?

I'd say he’s consistent about some things, rapidly changing about others. He might come across kinda friendly, silly even, but then become impatient and sharp pretty quickly. He sort of suffers from like...subconscious paranoia? I'm not sure if there's a proper term for it, but it's not that he’s convince people are out to get him, or afraid of specific things, more so just that he gets a strong sense of displacement or falsity out of seemingly nowhere. He doesn't realize how on edge or tense he appears to others, because in his mind, he’s still just himself, silly, laid back, joking Papyrus (not that he always remembers that had been his name).

So I guess he seems pretty consistently strung out, but sometimes he can be jarringly aggressive or cruel or afraid with seemingly little reason to stoke those behaviors.

~

Does he have any hobbies? What kinds of things does he do when he's alone?

Nope, no hobbies, aside from "taking notes", aka scribbling down likely entirely illegible "sentences" or drawings in a tattered old notebook he has. He spends all of his "free time" wandering, pretty much.

-

Does he like being alone? Hate it? Not feel strongly either way?

In some ways I'd say he’s indifferent, since he isn't technically entirely aware how alone he is? But I'm sure it doesn't do wonders for his more anxious/negative behaviors, the longer he goes between "leads" or remembering his goal.

I'd imagine it's worse when he’s literally alone, maybe in an empty AU or just an isolated area. Probably when he’s most susceptible to forgetting things and getting upset at how disoriented he feels. But if someone asked his preference, he might get confused and ask why anyone would rather be alone. Despite...generally avoiding others lmao

~

Does he listen to music? What genres? Does he have favorites? Does he have any 'won't touch it with a fifty foot pole'?

Generally I'd think not. He gets a lot of "head static", and I think the more outside noise is coming at him, the more overwhelmed he gets. Probably generally prefers quiet places with like...nature sounds, like rushing water/forests/etc, but not music or radio or tv, or anything that might pull his already thin attention any tauter.

[gyokujyn]

Get To Know Me Tag Game

Tagged by @blackwood4stucky - Aspen, thank you for the tag, but I am breaking all the rules and changing most of the some questions to really get to know me (and hopefully you)! Pretend I tagged you at the bottom, too, cause it won't let me tag you twice!

1. How did you get your nickname (or url)?

I don't really have a nickname, but my url is the first long term OC I used to RP back in the day. I see a lot of hate for RPing OCs these days, but when the internet still screamed at you before you could logon, almost everyone RPed OCs--in fact it was looked down on to RP an existing character or an OC that was related to an existing character. Gyoku Jynnae was a Star Trek OC, but I also RPed Star Wars, D&D, and a few others in AOL chat rooms, forums/message boards, and email. I keep the name in case I ever run into anyone from that time in my life because some of those people helped keep me alive and I'll never forget it.

2. What's the last thing that made you cry?

Therapy yesterday. I'm trying to be less allergic to feelings. Go me.

3. What's your latest guilty pleasure?

I generally don't feel guilty about the things that bring me pleasure, lol, but I'm a little embarrassed that I realized my Stucky playlist on Spotify has long since exceeded 200 songs (sitting pretty close to 230 rn) so I created, I shit you not, a spreadsheet to help me most effectively split it into more specific lists for various timeframes or feelings and I am really enjoying listening to all the songs and organizing it.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I never did organized sports, but I did regularly get dropped in the wilderness with a map and a compass for "fun" when I was in high school--does that count?

5. What are your pet peeves?

I hate the sound of chewing/lip smacking/swallowing. I probably have misophonia because it makes me want to vault the table and punch someone.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Hair and hands, usually. Eye contact is not my forte, so I am way more likely to remember someone by their shoes or something than by their face.

7. What is your eye color?

Hazel. I have a ring of brown around my pupil, then a ring of green outside of that like some kind of ridiculous YA novel.

8. What super specific trope or genre is your kryptonite?

Not sure how super specific this is, but I love psychological horror and body horror. I love the kinds of stories and movies where I walk away thinking I'm moving on with my life and then days later, something happens and my heart is pounding and I'm thinking about it again. I love horror that lives under your skin and in the back of your mind until it grips you out of nowhere.

9. What is your superpower?

I am very observant of details, which might be a superpower, but it usually feels like my villain origin story. It makes me good at reading people, but terrible at finishing projects because all I see are the faults and I get overwhelmed and it never gets finished.

10. Which fictional world would you be happy to call home?

You remember that late-aughts Bruce Willis movie where everyone plugs into an interface that lets them leave their bodies at home and navigate the world in an idealized, customizable body with no pain? Yeah, me, neither. I don't think about being able to have a pain-free body that reflects my personal image of myself everyday. Not at all.

11. What are your hobbies?

Reading, creating art, and video games. Between kids and COVID, my other hobby, tabletop RPG, is on a long term hiatus.

12. Do you have any pets?

We've recently lost a dog and a cat, so we're down to 1 cat and about 27,000 fish (not really, but we do have 8 running fish tanks, 3 of which are each over 50 gallons, so, like, there's a lot of fish).

13. What is your biggest toxic trait?

Oh, man, when I am in a relationship with someone, I want to be the center of their fucking universe. Which is weird because I am not monogamous and I am my wife's number one wing man, but it's not about jealousy. I want to know that I can trust my partner to have my back. That they're thinking about me. That they want me. I want to be wanted desperately. I will and have broken up with partners who weren't bad people or a bad match for me, they just weren't as mad about me as I wanted them to be. I feel like a narcissist typing this out, but it's the truth.

14. Is there anything you're afraid you won't accomplish?

I don't know that this is really an accomplishment, but I always wanted to have lots of kids and I always wanted to foster and adopt some of my kids. I knew kids growing up that needed safe homes and never got them (I probably was one, but I was afraid to get into the system, so I just kept my head down and dealt with it) and I always wanted to be the safe place I never had. But, it's expensive. Not the kids--I know kids are expensive (I already have 2). I don't understand why fostering and adopting is so expensive.

15. What's number one on your bucket list?

I want to go back to school to become a teacher, but I'm really finding it daunting right now.

Tags: I'm just tagging a dozen recentish mutuals that I don't know so well, yet... no pressure, but I'd love to get to know you better! @winterscrump @basnatural @eloquentreverie @vellicore @milarca @the-kestrels-feather @iceandironbars @sarahowritesostucky @natashadied4oursins @thepiper0fhameln @hypnxrchy @shurisbedroom If I didn't tag you, but you want to play, please feel free to jump in and tag me anyway!

[moltengoldveins]

ok more than one person has asked for more information. I can’t tell whether they mean on the characters or the medieval dye, so we’re gonna rant abt both just to be safe (I have no idea why I wasn’t diagnosed with autism as a small child):

so, one of my major pet peeves in modern media is the idea that medieval times were somehow dull or boring or colorless or filthy. There were absolutely sections of culture that were filthy, or dull, or colorless, but think about it: they were Also People. The vast majority of people figured out how to Not Smell Too Bad and Make Pretty Things. And there are a LOT of readily available plants that can make a lot of very vivid dye. 

the first color I’m talking about is a sort of orange goldenrod. Among other things, it can be made using *insert deep breath here* onion skins, tumeric, bog Myrtle, silverweed, madder & an alkali, oregano+malt+apple leaves, gorse, yarrow, broom,  weld, and Osage orange sawdust. These of course make a huge range of orangy-yellows that are all very different in terms of saturation and longevity, but the important thing is that, with a bit of tweaking, you can get the same general color from All Of Them. And they’re easy to find, grow in a wide range of environments, and the dye is easy to make. You can literally just Boil Onion Skins. Like that’s IT. 

However. There is one way to make royal purple dye. That’s literally why it’s called “royal purple,” only the royals could afford the color. You can fudge a purple-esque color by mixing blues and reds as long as they aren’t different ph, but they won’t be vibrant. You can try using flowers, iris root, cochineal+ iron, but it won’t work the same way. You get a muted plum at best. Royal purple is extracted from a small gland in a specific species of snail halfway across the world from the setting I am loosely basing my fantasy world on (somewhere between ancient Scotland, Greenland, and Chile) and is a Process to get. 

The characters I’ve been working with for the past five years are a qpr, two women who survived what was essentially a magical nuclear apocalypse that shattered the world into a thousand different dimensions and were blessed (cursed) with the gift of reincarnation. Every time they die, their body disintegrates and reforms in the last place they slept. If they die too many times, or spend too long in one world (kinda tricky to test that kind of thing, so they aren’t sure How long or How many) they wake up not in the last place they slept, but in a different plane of reality. They can’t go back. They can’t contact the other planes. They have No Idea how any of this works, and they’ve been around for a Long, Long time. Long enough that they’ve forgotten and remembered and forgotten and re-met each other a hundred times. Long enough that they’ve lost the memories of what happened to them, what happened to the world. Long enough that there are… repeating patterns. To the way things go, to the way their relationship works. Purple loves the mortals she finds, and she loves them even when they destroy her. Yellow hates them, hates how they treat things they don’t understand, and is at worst a domineering commander and at best a loyal dog: either she burns the world before the mortals can turn on her other half, killing them all in an effort to teach her partner a lesson on how the world ‘really works’, or she obeys the hand of her master and only burns the world after they’ve betrayed them. Either way, they go down in history: over, and over, and over again. But funnily enough, Yellow is portrayed as the deific one, the retribution, the Justice, the hand of God that punishes the mortals who sacrifice the wrong lamb. Purple is immortalized as the faun that died to slake the wolf, the innocent blood that brought the angel of death from on high, the friend of mortals who might almost be a mortal herself. And that weird reversal is So Fascinating to me, despite the fact that I Was The One Who Wrote It, because like… that’s not what their colors are telling you, and it’s not how their relationship actually works. Purple is the one in charge: she holds the leash. But Yellow is given the halo. The assumption is that the one who spends time with people, the one that’s nice and likes kids and makes jokes, is the safe one. The assumption is that the one with the battleaxe is the one you need to fear. But they’re literally wearing their relationship dynamic on their sleeves, and it’s making it Very Obvious who’s actually the problem.

having a breakdown over medieval dyeing methods and the colors that can be easily made from them and how the specific shade of yellow a character of mine wears is trivially easy to dye with like eight different species despite the symbolism surrounding her being largely royal or deific, while the symbolism surrounding her counterpart is largely sacrificial or common, the face of the poor and downtrodden, and yet the only consistent color associated with her is royal purple.

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

15 Questions

Thanks @sardonic-sprite for the tag

1: Are you named after anyone?

Yes, but not a family member

2: When was the last time you cried?

I teared up at a fic sometime last week but other than that I can’t remember

3: Do you have kids?

Yes

4: Do you use sarcasm a lot?

It’s the salt to my existence

5: What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Hair. Idk why.

6: What’s your eye color?

Grey, I guess? Sort of? And it kind of depends on the day.

7: Scary movies or happy ending?

I don’t do scary movies. At all. Not my thing. And I don’t like sad movies either. Or movies based on real stories. Happy movies with happy endings thanks.

8: Any special talents?

Uh……….I’m really good with maps? As a kid geography/maps was always what I did the very best at. Always. Those standardized test things? Really, really good scores in that area. Idk, does that count?

9: Where were you born?

Somewhere greener than where I am now *sighs in desert*

10: What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, music, board games, arts and crafts (but not like, useful ones or ones that require any amount of skill)

11: Do you have any pets?

Projects and peeves.

12: What sports do you play/have you played?

Ball sports and I are not on good terms. I don’t run. Swimming is fine.

13: How tall are you?

I am exactly in between my parents’ heights. I wanted to be two inches taller but *genetics* or something idk

14: Favorite subject at school?

History, Geography, Math (until trig. I hated trig. Trig is the worst).

15: Dream job?

Some kind of financial consultant who shows up at a company and reviews their finances before telling them how to fix things. And then leaves. No idea if that’s a thing but that would be my dream job.

[edgygayguy]

HENLO FRIEN. I've gone and rambled a bit on the subject, and now I wanna know what you think:

What kinds of werewolf legends are your favorites? (And if that's boring, what do you want to see in werewolf stories that isn't highlighted enough?)

Expected no less of you bestie 🐀

My favorite werewolf legend is definitely the myth about King Lycaon (ironic considering I don't like werewolves that just turn into wolves) and the fact that saint Christopher sometimes has a dog head. The myth about that one Ukrainian village in which werewolves are at a full on war with witches is also fun. I definitely lean more into what werewolves were and how they evolved over time in culture. The whole "guardians of nature" thing seems to be modern af and quite frankly, it's very boring. I'd rather watch giant tree people commit eco terrorism than woofs running around factories. I could ramble about how they fit right into what the Greeks belived, then the Christians but you probably already know that lmao.

My favorite thing about werewolves is how versatile they are. I like your more "YA novel all mythologies are real" approach, but as I am a literature nerd and snob the thing I value the most in a werewolf is what they bring into the story they're in.

Werewolves as natural impulses being too powerful to control? Werewolves as a Mr. Hyde kind of deal within society? Werewolves as dangerous people in the woods watch-out-little-red-riding-hood sort of thing? I love it all, but if I get something that goes beyond the big three then I'm VERY happy to see it (I'm even writing a short story that, at least to me, seems pretty original, not in general but in terms of werewolf use)

I also LOVE the "drink from a wolf's pawprint under a full moon" way to get cursed. I don't consume any werewolf media nowdays, and all I did consume was movies so I'm kinda out of touch, I really need to get back to it lol.

I think what werewolves lack nowdays is nuance. I feel like everytime I hear some new werewolf thing is going to be released it's the same old stuff being repurposed in a shinier way. Also I hate when American studios just slap "NATIVE AMERICAN MYTHS" as an explanation for lycanthropy (recenlty they did it with Slavic folklore and I was ready to throw hands again).

Another pet peeve of mine is female werewolves. A few years ago I had a lesbian friend who woke me up to the fact that female werewolves are just furries or anime girls, entierly reduced to a male fantasy (big stronk wolf man and tiny petite big boobs wolf woman). Now I'm DEMANDING to be given some werewolf media where the werewolf woman is big and strong, and the only difference could be that she has six tits or sum. If they don't give male werewolves dicks I don't see why you should be able to distinguish between a female werewolf and a male one in most media. Also apparently there was an old Hollywood movie from like the 1920s with a cool female werewolf that was pretty damn feminist for its time but it has burdened down along with a library in a fire??? Don't remember that very well.

Idk if these rambles make any sense (I got the "can't voice all thoughts in a comprehensive manner" syndrome) but just to close it all of: werewolf evolution is cool, silver is cool and versatile, werewolves are fuckable af, werewolf women need to hit the gym and whoever is shitting out horrible takes on my poor woofs needs to stfu (I'm looking at the men who insist the whole "alpha beta omega" thing is real, but that's a whole nother post)

Thank you for the ask bestie and hopefully you get the juices flowing and can write again <3

[starbuck]

tagged by @alcompasdemicaballo (thanks so much!!)

Relationship Status: Single and happily staying that way until i’ve got myself together enough to truly commit to someone else as well.

Favourite Colour: Cerulean (blue)!! It was always my favorite crayon color and the namesake of the Cerulean Warbler, which is one of my favorite birds.

Favourite Food: I say something different for this every time I’m asked it, but this time i’m gonna say cherries!! i’ve been REALLY into those wonderful, fresh dark cherries recently.

Song Stuck in Your Head: A medley of the songs from TMG’s Sweden since I listened to it for five and a half hours today, but mainly Deianara Crush and The Whole Wide World.

Last Thing you Googled: “mirrorless camera” because i’m thinking about getting into landscape photography and wanted to know how expensive the cameras are (the answer is Very lol, so i will be saving up for a bit).

Time: 10:09pm

Dream Trip: Oh gosh… dream trip EVER, i couldn’t say… But rn i’m particularly dreaming of the trip i wanna take out western US to see the Grand Canyon and southern Utah for the eclipse next fall… Remains to be seen whether it’ll come true or not, but i’m hopeful!!

Last Book You Read: The Alaska Native Reader: History, Culture, Politics compiled and edited by Maria Sháa Tláa Williams.

Last Book You Enjoyed Reading: Haha, very funny, but definitely the above!! The first book in awhile where finishing it made me feel empty rather than victorious… It had become such a part of my daily routine that i’ll really miss it! Will definitely be checking out some of the extended reading suggestions in the back when i have more book-buying money!

Last Book You Hated Reading: I was about to say I don’t know because i’m VERY selective about what i read (and also just don’t read that much if i’m being honest), but THEN i remembered this fucking AWFUL birding “memoir” that i attempted to read back in Fall of 2019 and had to quit because it was just soooooooo pretentious and full of itself… i’m not naming the book, partially because i don’t remember and partially because it’s a pretty local thing… not something widely published, and i’m not here to punch down. but Yeah. Terrible experience, 0/10. The amount of birders who think they’re qualified to write a memoir just because they’re well-traveled is STAGGERING…

Favourite Thing to Cook/Bake: gosh idk… I do cook and bake a decent amount, but it’s not something i really enjoy doing… I guess anything that lets me knead dough… That’s one thing I do enjoy because i like the feeling and it smells great too!

Most Niche Dislike: Since getting into giffing, I have a real pet peeve for gifsets that aren’t slowed down enough. Like. I guess this is a preference thing, but imo there’s a certain amount of slowing down that you need so that your gifs don’t move awkwardly fast and many people overlook that and just go with whatever the default setting is regardless of how the finished product looks in motion. I won’t reblog otherwise flawless gifsets if they move too fast because it totally ruins it for me. I no longer find it enjoyable to look at.

Opinion on the Circus: like. morally?? or is this a reference i’m not getting? Regardless, i don’t think i know enough to answer this.

Do You Have a Sense of Direction: For the first time in a long time, yeah, I think I do. Maybe not long term, but i’m not looking to lock myself into one track forever right now, anyway… Short-term, i’m really getting it together and am super proud of myself! Definitely feel like I’m working towards a coherent future now, finally!!

tagging @calamitys-child @acepunks @thegreatblondebalrogslayer @flintfag @lupismaris and @smartfoodofficial ❤️❤️

[morimementa]

Nobody tagged me, I just decided to put myself on blast. Whoever wants to fill this out too, go nuts.

How old were you when you realized you like guys getting hurt? 7? 8, maybe? I feel like a lot of what I like in media can be traced back to the shows I watched in elementary school and how my preferences developed.

What was that very first scene you remember which gave you those glorious butterfly feelings? Anyone remember that edutainment show, Book of Virtues? No? Well, there was this scene where the boy character twists his ankle and the girl administers first aid and tiny me was like, “Awesome! Finally a girl saves a boy!”

When and how was it that you realized “Hey, I’m not so messed up in the head!” and that there’s a definition and a community for this sort of thing? Probably around the time I discovered fanfiction and realized, “Oh, there’s a lot of stories I like!” I can’t pinpoint an exact moment, but that must have been where I learned the terminology.

What’s your favorite whump trope?  Fever, kidnapped and tortured, panic attacks, flashbacks, anything that requires comfort from someone else, ideally with cuddling. Quick, magical healing and post trauma care are also great. There always has to be a rescue or a catharsis.  What’s a whump trope you hate? Gore, character death, whump but no rescue, long term illnesses and after affects. I know it’s not very realistic, but I like a happy ending. One minor pet peeve I have is when a caregiver catches the whumpee’s illness. As far as I’m concerned, nothing is ever contagious, because this is happy fun time where everything always ends up fine.

Who’s your favorite whumped character? Hoo boy...Loki, Bucky, Detective Void , Sam Winchester if I feel like dipping into a fandom I’m meh about, Leon from SWSH, Orym, Caleb, Dorian, and Caduceus from Critical Role...There’s probably more, but you get the idea.

Someone please write Detective Void fanfiction, we are sorely lacking fan content. What’s that whumped scene(s) you watched over and over again (we you know you do it and we understand)? Netflix’s Ragnarok has a scene where Laurits is not pregnant and in not labor with the world serpent. 

I. I also have an Mpreg hyperfixation.  Bullet or stab wounds? Whichever, really. Fevers or hypothermia? Fevers, definitely. They’re usually not as serious and can be treated with relatively little stress. For me it’s less about the agony and more about the caregiver giving them affection and TLC.

Emotional or physical? Both. While I’m a sucker for heartbreak, I like minor or at least treatable injury.

Injured and asks for help, or tries to cover it up? How about; tries to cover it up because no one “has time” for them to be sick or hurt, only to have it backfire. Or, they ask for help, but get brushed off, then collapse when it gets too bad to handle alone. 

Lastly, does anybody know about this addiction of yours? I feel like my bestie knows, even though I can’t remember outright saying it. We wrote a lot of stories together and we have similar tastes. Beyond that, I’m sure a few people have figured it out. I don’t know why I enjoy the trope so much. I suspect it’s some insidious combination of maternal instincts and sadism. 

[beels-burger-babe]

Obey Me Character Song Thoughts

***DISCLAIMER: These are my blind reactions to the song. They're my opinion and based off of my personal taste in music as well. You are free to agree or disagree with them as you please, just please no hate***

Lucifer / Arcadia :

Surprisingly, I really like the music in this. I don't usually like electronic music, but this one was nice. His voice isn't my favourite, but is still good. NOW THE LYRICS!! Oh dear. Oh my. Oh boy. I was not expecting to catch feelings for Lucifer today, sir. How dare you do this to me. Update: I just got to the second verse...He's a yandere. He is fucking yandere. He's still so full of himself as usual and I WANT TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE BUT I ALSO WANT TO KISS HIM GAAAAAAAH!!!!! LUCIFER YOU ASSHOLE! UPDATE UPDATE: FINAL VERSE! AND THEN THE PRICK GOES BACK TO BEING A ROMANTIC CHARMING LITTLE SHIT 😡😣😖 Final thoughts: I- I- this whole song was a rollercoaster. I love to hate lucifer and hate to love him. I really do. This song embodied that perfectly. I did enjoy the song though.

Mammon / Are You Ready? :

Opening thought. I am not ready. Very not ready. Mammon is amazing in that art 😍.

Okay, now being serious, I'm sorry Mammon. I adore you to BITS, like so so so much. But this is exactly the kind of EDM that I despise. BUT, I bore through it and kept listening. I don't hate his voice, but he's sing talking. He's not quite rapping, he's sing talking. So it's meh. FUCKING UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE: THE CHORUS!!!! THE MF CHORUS!!!! HE SINGS! HE CAN ACTUALLY SING (still not best but pretty good)?! AND THE MUSIC SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER THERE WHEN IT'S SLOW- ... ... ... the auto-tune on his voice on that English line 😤 WHY?!! I WAS JUST GETTING INTO IT!!!

Lyrics time: Honestly, it feels like Mammon got drunk, picked up a mic and started singing to MC, and I mean that in the best way possible. He's being honest in a way we've never seen him be honest before, and he calls himself a tsundere 😂 I love it.

Now the chorus lyrics: I love the chorus. It's so Mammon and just perfect. I love it. The lyrics just- *sighs* it's that possessive side of him that makes him the dork that he is. Okay. t-the lyrics...the lyrics also give me MAJOR suggestive vibes and I'm just here like 😳😳😳 MaMmOn PlEaSe WhAt ArE YoU DoInG?!

Final thoughts: The lyrics are also quite repetitive, which is another pet peeve of mine. All in all, it's not bad. It's just not for me. I'm so sorry Mammon 😭😭😭 That being said, I think it suits Mammon fairly well. Not perfectly, but good.

Leviathan / My Chance:

Opening thoughts: THIS TITLE IS SO CUTE AND IT'S PERFECT FOR HIM uwu Also, the vintage game-esque music is just perfect for Levi's aesthetic. Like, the light piano mixed with it gives me Undertale vibes?? Even before he starts singing, I just think it's really cute and it makes me want to hug him. Again, I'm not in love with his voice, but it's still nice. I do enjoy it.

Lyrics: LEVI BABY ARE YOU OKAY?! SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A THERAPIST 😭😭😭

Chorus: It's so sad, but this is Levi's reality. This song embodies him and everything he is so so so well. It really is perfect for him. But seriously bro. Let me hug you. And then we're gonna work on your self-worth issues because oh boy That last verse though. Oh my goodness 🥺🥺 It is the very definition of pining.

AND THEN THE FINAL CHORUS!!! HE'S BEING SO HONEST ABOUT HIS ANXIETY AND I JUST- 😭😭😭😭 LEVIIIIIIIIII!!!

Final thoughts: *clears throat, wipes tears that are totally not there* Right. So it's obvious that I enjoy this one. It just screams Levi and suits him so well and it also just breaks my heart so...yeah.

Satan / Read My Heart:

The piano. THE 👏 FUCKING 👏 PIANO 👏 So beautiful! The fact that his song is so soft and slow when he himself is meant to represent something so strong and violent is simply poetic. There are moments where I love Satan's singing voice in this and there are moments where I don't like it as much. HIS VOICE IN THE CHORUS IS MY FAVOURITE 😭 So sweet. So just- I love him. I love him so much.

Lyrics: So honest, but I feel that this is almost like a letter from Satan of all the things he wishes he could say. Also, remember that dork who can't say love words out loud headcanon we talked about earlier today? He literally confirms here 🥰🥰 Aww Satan

Chorus: AGAIN! SO HONEST WITH HIS FEELINGS AND HIM TRYING TO KNOW HIMSELF 😭😭😭 It's just so beautiful Stunning. I love it. This one hits all the markers for me. I'm calling it now. I think his lyrics are my favourite, and possibly my favourite song in general. It's just such a beautiful love song. Filled with what he so desperately desires but also his fears and it's so honest it hurts.

Final thoughts: This one made me cry. Like, literally made me cry. It was just so beautiful and perfect. I mean, there's a sad line that uses cats as a metaphor 😭 It's fantastic. Amazing. I can't praise it enough. Where I feel everyone else so far (except poor Levi, poor baby) had something that implied...suggestive things, Satan is just so desperate for love. To feel and experience it and everything that comes with it, and it's just- I love it.

Asmodeus / Pomade:

I actually really really enjoy the music here. It's more pop than EDM and I appreciate that. It's nice. Asmo's voice is also really pleasant to listen to. There's just something about it. I like it a lot. When he holds his notes, it just has this amazing sound and I dunno. I just like it a lot! AND HIS FALSETTO!! HOLY SHIT! AMAZING

Lyrics: I mean... It's exactly what I'd expect from Asmo. It doesn't feel like it's being sung to the MC though. At least not at first. It almost feels like he's singing to an audience at the Fall or something.

Chorus: It's a little more personal, but I feel like we're still only getting that one side of Asmo. We're shown in the second season that he does have insecurities and that there's more to him than being self-obsessed, and I'm kind of disappointed that the song doesn't show that.

Second Verse: We're finally getting personal here. Okay. The table has been turned and now Asmo is finally talking about how he feels about MC and that's more I like it!

Final thoughts: Now that I've listened to the final verse and chorus, I GET IT NOW! It's a story. It's how Asmo first felt like all that was there for him and all he was made for was pleasing the audience. Then you came and it was just a game of trying to make you fall for him, just like he had been able to everyone else. And finally, him realizing that it's him who has become captivated by you and that he loves you! It's actually really sweet and I love that. Sound-wise, this song is fantastic! The music really compliments his voice and it all suits Asmo's character really well.

Beelzebub / Hungry Six-Pack:

So ya'll already know I adore Beel and this ROCK MUSIC AND HIS VOICE MADE ME SWOON! His voice! His voice is FANTASTIC! And the music IS AMAZING!!! I just love the guitar in it. It's (pardon me for this) it's just so damn sexy and I love it so much! THE BRIDGE OF THE SONG IS DAMN HOT OKAY?! I CAN'T GET OVER IT!

Lyrics: What I love about the lyrics is that they confirm my theory of Beel actually being physically impacted by his appetite. He says that it can cause him to get dizzy and I'm just here like 🥺🥺 We really get a sense here of how Beel is actually desperate to stop this appetite. He hates how it impacts him. He hates how it impacts those around him. And I just - 😭😭😭

Chorus: It fucking slaps! The up tempo is just *chefs kiss* and I love everything about it. And the words 😳 Damn Beel...Damn. i love him so much even though if you really think about it these words HURT

THE SECOND VERSE WITH DRUMS IN THE BACK JUST MAKES ME WANT TO JUMP AROUND IN A MOSH PIT! I LOVE THE SOUND OF THIS ONE SOOOOO MUCH! IT'S SO GREAT!

THEN IN THE LAST CHORUS WITH THAT HIGHER OPTION NOTE THAT HE HOLDS AND SHAKES AND I'M LIKE 😍😍😍 GOD I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH

Final thoughts: As you can clearly see, I love this one. Now, lyrics-wise, I found a comment that really broke down the lyrics in terms of Beel's insecurity with his appetite and his sin and how he struggles with that and it made me appreciate the song all that much more and I just- I love this song. (The comment was left by Felix The Lemon on this if you don't understand the utter heartbreak of this song, please read this) Maybe it's my bias towards Beel. Maybe it's because it's rock. But this one, overall, is my favourite.

Belphegor / Dreamscape:

I love the almost lo-fi sound to it! It's perfect cause a lot of people use lo-fi to sleep. Very clever producers. Very clever. I both hate and love his voice at the same time and I DON'T KNOW WHY! Like it has a bit of a filtered sound to it, but what genuine sound I can hear through that filter is really really nice and I love it. I TAKE IT ALL BACK HIS VOICE IN THE CHORUS 😭😭😭 HE HAS MY FAVOURITE VOICE OF THE BROTHERS BY FAR! OH MY GOD IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!

Lyrics: GAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! OKAY OKAY OKAY!!! So! These lyrics are so great because it's showing that soft side of Belphie that I adore! It's not his teasing side, it's the side that only Beel and MC really get to see and I just- I love it.

The whole "I will always wait for you" for some reason made me think of when he was stuck in the attic where literally the only thing he had to look forward to was MC coming to set him free and update him on how Beel was doing. And then afterward, he had to wait for them to be comfortable around him again because he knew that he messed up and he had to wait for their forgiveness. And then finally, Belphie has to wait for them to notice his feelings, amongst the obvious more showy feelings of his brothers and to hopefully maybe choose him 😭😭😭 SO GOOD

Second verse is his insecurities and I just ao;dusg;bfjnaduoh;szvbjxaui;dvkjx AAAAAAHHHHHHH I LOVE IT SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN PUT IN TO WORDS!! WHY DO I LOVE THIS?!?!

FINAL THOUGHTS: THIS SONG ALONE HAS CAUSED ME TO FALL IN LOVE WITH BELPHEGOR ADU;SFBKJACDZS IT'S JUST SO PERFECT!!! His voice! The sound! The words! It has it all! I know I just said Beel's was my overall favourite, and I'm so so sorry Beelzebaby, but Belphie takes the cake. We get his anger, his sadness, his fondness, HIS DESPERATION, IT JUST HAS SO MUCH EMOTION!!!! I CAN'T GET OVER THIS SONG!

~~~~~~~

The songs were all incredible and I love them to bits. I feel like I know the brothers better know and I know have more feelings for Belphie than I know what to do with, so there's that 😅😅 If you're still here reading this, thanks for joining me on this chaotic journey and dealing with my bullshit. Love you guys ❤❤❤

[ronqueesha]

OC Layers - Saoirse

Because I’m bored and obsessed.

- LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

Name: Saoirse

Eye Color: Dark brown

Hair Style/Color: Also dark brown, usually kept short. Although she’s not married to the style, and has grown it out before.

Height: 5 ft 6 in / 1.7m

Weight: 150lbs / 68Kg

Clothing Style: As extravagant as she can afford. For most of her life, this meant that she dressed like every other peasant and commoner on the continent, because she couldn’t afford anything better. But for every successful scheme, there came the reward of a well-fitted jacket, or a nice pair of elegant shoes. Life on the road makes it difficult to remain at the height of fashion, but she does what she can.

- LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

Fears: Poverty and stagnation. She grew up in a small fishing village where most people were content with their lot in life. Never growing, never seeing beyond the horizon, and never willing to improve the amount of coin they earned from their labor. Content to live in shacks and cabins in a boggy mire. She hated it, and will never settle down for a single moment in her life, because she’s afraid she’ll turn into one of those people if she does.

Guilty Pleasure: Despite proclaiming to hate everything about the place she was born, she still fondly remembers the songs sung in the local tavern every night, and will quietly sing them to herself while sober... and loudly sing them (off-tempo and off-key) while drunk. Traditional ballads and dance tunes that remain stuck in her head. One of the first things that got her interested in Lohse was the fact that she knew some of the very same songs Saoirse had grown up with.

Biggest Pet Peeve: Having to exchange money for goods and services.

Ambition for the Future: Money money money. The daughter of a poor fishing village will never be poor again, not if she can help it. Saoirse’s main goal, beyond even the main plot of attaining godhood and saving the world, will always be her own greed.

- LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

First Thoughts Waking Up: Make sure nothing happened to her coin purse.

What They Think About the Most: Make sure nothing happened to her coin purse.

What They Think About Before Bed: Make sure nothing happened to her coin purse.

What They Think Their Best Quality Is: She’s quite skilled with her wordplay and choice of vocabulary. Her fishing-village accent (fantasy Irish, if her name didn’t make it obvious) makes people underestimate her intelligence and wit, which means she can often con people without them even realizing they were being conned in the first place.

- LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: Single

To be Loved or Respected: Respected. Being loved romantically rarely gets you any coin.

Beauty or Brains: A mix of both is best for long-term commitment. But she’s fine with either in the short term.

Dogs or Cats: Dogs. She is absolutely a dog person.

- LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

Lie: Definitely more than I should. But telling the truth isn’t as profitable as one would like it to be.

Believe in Yourself: Yeah, sure.

Believe in Love: Yes.

Want Someone: Of course.

- LAYER SIX: HAVE YOU EVER?

Been on Stage: Oh yes, some of her favorite schemes have involved a stage. In particular, she would perform “magic tricks” in front of a dazed and easily befuddled crowd of simple farmers. And while the marks were enthralled with her performance, Ham Samich would sneak up behind them and use his razor- sharp claws to cut their coin purses and pockets open, then steal every last coin they had on them. She made hundreds of gold that way, and was probably arrested for the theft a half-dozen times.

Done Drugs: Nothing serious. Alcohol doesn’t count.

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: Only when it benefited a con or a job. Playing a character while pursuing a payday is just part of her everyday life.

- LAYER SEVEN: WHAT’S THEIR…

Favourite colours: Green

Favourite animal: Dogs

Favourite book: Not a big reader. Although she does pick up the random gossip publication to see which local person might be ripe for the robbing.

Favourite game: Drinking games and cards.

- LAYER EIGHT: AGE

DOB: The year 1209 Anno Deorum

How Old Will You Be: 33 on the day she is arrested for being a sourcerer

Age You Lost Your Virginity: 14

Does Age Matter: Yes.

- LAYER NINE: FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: Money

I feel: Ready to get what is mine.

I hide: My many wanted posters whenever I see them.

I miss: Some of the people back home, but you didn’t hear that from me.

I wish: some gold would fall out of the sky and let me retire on a tropical island full of naked women.

[mimzy-writing-online]

How do you handle casual ableism especially ableism that’s said to be “a joke”? I am blind and I get this all the time and it’s so annoying because I can’t win.

If it’s said by someone I know I probably won’t talk to much, if ever again, I just grin and bear it. If I’m invested in this friendship or know I’ll be working with them a lot, then I’ll say something. But I do have some personal pet-peeves.

“Oh, so you’re blind, but not like, blind-blind.” 

Whenever I explain to someone new that I’m visually impaired and what I see, I sometimes get the “oh, so you’re blind, but not like, blind-blind.” and I just... *internal screaming*

I hate it because it reinforces this hierarchy of “who has it worst in the world” that abled society has. It’s like saying, “oh, you’re blind, but at least you don’t have cancer.” That is insensitive to both people who are blind, people who have cancer, and people who have both. 

Everyone is going through their own stuff, and sometimes it feels debilitating and sometimes it feels normal. Undermining someone’s experiences by saying/implying someone has it worse is terrible and even worse is using that idea to say “oh, then you don’t need this accommodation that badly, you’re not disabled-disabled.”

I am blind. Just blind. I have a condition that highly affects my life and just because there are a few settings where I can pass for sighted, does not mean that I am not blind.

And those people feed my internalized ableism and imposter syndrome so that I begin to think “I’m not that blind, people have so much less sight than me” and begin to feel like I don’t deserve any of my accommodations, even my cane when my worst days hit. My cane, that thing I bought myself that affects no one apart from warning them I can’t see them, but means everything to me.

What I would like to say: “I am blind. What I’m describing might sound like no big deal to you, but it affects my life every day and I will never, under any circumstances, see as much as a sighted person. Please stop comparing my disability to other disabilities.”

��Can you use your cane as a weapon?”

It was funny the first 3-4 times I heard it, but strangers say it to me constantly and it’s just like... “oh, them Lakers” or “How’s the weather up there” or some other cliché joke that has been told to death. And these strangers don’t realize how unoriginal it is because they probably never interact with other blind people, but I hear it all the fricken time.

I’ve explained to friends that I don’t like this joke. And I have an example of it in A Witch’s Memory, specifically Ulric’s second chapter. But like, I cannot control what strangers think is funny.

What I would like to say: “I cannot. Canes are much more fragile than you think, and each one has cost me $50 each. And I’ve had... six? Over the years. And they take weeks to ship to me. I would be terrified of my cane getting damaged.”

“I bet you’re looking forward to robot eyes.”

No. I’m not. I’m really not. Leave my eyes the fuck alone.

This was waaaaaay before I was diagnosed with Visual Snow Syndrome, which is a neurological problem, not an eye problem, even if the symptoms that affect me most are visual.

And as for the ableism, there’s soooo so much in that statement:

“Oh, I bet you’re looking forward to getting cured”

“I think being blind is terrible, I would want robot eyes immediately”

And if I said that I didn’t want robot eyes ever, I’d almost always get:

“I bet it wouldn’t be that bad, you’d be a cyborg. How cool is that?”

I said no the first time. Respect that answer. It’s my body, my eyes. I’m so tired of this debate.

The only form of this conversation I will ever accept is from my best friend who admitted that he personally would jump at the chance for cybernetic enhancements, especially something that reduced chronic pain. There are some more personal issues I won’t disclose, but from his perspective I understood and we came to the acceptance that we had very different stances and that was okay so long as we respected each other’s choices.

What I would like to say: “I have considered this and personally decided that under no circumstances would I ever want this kind of surgery done to me. Please respect that choice and don’t joke about experimental surgeries with me.”

“Just consider me your personal human guide dog.”

Only one person has ever said this to me, but he’s said it several times while acting as my sighted guide and I hate it, not because there is any ableism directed at me, but because he’s calling himself less than human and I wish he treated himself better. He deserves better. My solution is just saying nice things to him every chance I get about how much I care about him and how he is good.

“Fuck you! I love you! Don’t you dare call yourself a dog. You’re amazing and I love you.”

“Well you’re able-bodied.”

Said to me by another person with a disability, specifically a chronic illness, while complaining about why I couldn’t do something for him.

It was my father.

and I just...

I have literally never not been disabled in some capacity.

I remember my ADHD affected me from the early age of six years old and how much that affected my self esteem. I started having chronic health problems (mostly due to anxiety) as soon as I entered my teenage years. The worst was when I was 19. And then I went blind.

I am in no way able-bodied. Do not throw this hierarchy of who’s more disabled at me. I physically cannot handle the task you asked me to do without physical pain following me for the rest of the day. It’s either going to have to get done by someone else, or I’m going to need help. Why do I need to be in pain all day for this?

You’re young, therefore you are able-bodied.

You means nothing in terms of disability! Lots of people are disabled, visibly and invisibly. And if your kid needs disability aids to perform normal tasks like walking safely outside, you shouldn’t be calling them able bodied.

What I would like to say: “I am not able bodied. I am far from it. What you’re asking me to do will either risk serious injury to me or will cause me serious, lasting pain. Please respect my physical limitations.”

“And on your right you and hear, smell, taste, touch the ocean.”

It was a joke by a close friend when we were on a road trip. Also, we were in a car on the freeway, literally, none of those things would be possible from that distance because all I would hear and smell would be car fumes. 

Like, okay, I know I can’t enjoy the scenic view the way sighted people can, but I am enjoying this drive in my own way. Even the visuals I can see are nice(ish). It’s stimulation, something different for my brain. I’m having fun listening to the music and your story while we move and there are shapes and faded colors passing us.

I’m experiencing this amazing road trip.

Maybe it’s not the way you would experience or best enjoy it, but I am having fun, don’t spoil it by reminding me that I’m different from you and that my experience “must be less enjoyable.”

I told him: “I don’t like those jokes. They aren’t funny to me. I don’t need to see it to enjoy it.” And he stopped. He never made another one after that drive.

(He’s also one of those people who has serious anxiety around making someone uncomfortable, and me telling him “hey I don’t like this, can we do this instead” actually helps us both, because I’m no longer uncomfortable and he can trust that I would immediately tell him if he ever did something I didn’t like. If I’m not speaking up, then I am good. And I can trust that he will stop as soon as I tell him to, and that I can always speak up if I need to.)