#remember when i said i got distracted
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Pairings: Adora/Catra (Catradora). Fandom: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018).
Rating: T. Chapters: 1/1 (One shot). Words: 6k.
Summary: Catra has a stressful day when things go wrong at the Fright Zone revitalization project, and instead of finding comfort when she comes home, she finds her girlfriend floppy. She panics until she finds out that a First Ones infection didn’t cause it this time – then her stomach just twists in knots instead. (Or, Shadow Weaver drank wine, and the consequences that has)
#catradora#catra#adora#she ra#writing tag#remember when i said i got distracted#here's the distrction#i literally dont remember what suddenly made me pick back up this idea I'd forgotten about#but it's finally happened now lol#i cant add cws to this because the system tries to autoflag it under a community lable#but community labels dont work since it was made with the old post edittor (so i could edit the header)#so its just in limbo
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To the Sixth Doctor:
I’m sorry I called you a silly clown man and said that your coat was ugly and that I hated it. Then refused to watch your episodes and tried to save them for last because I thought I would hate you the most. Also im real sorry I called you a dick and said you were an arrogant ass.
I now know that some of those things are actually somewhat true (I’m sorry but you are a bit of a silly clown man) but I don’t hate you the most, you curly haired little cutie — I actually quite adore you. You are severely underrated and I regret not giving you a chance sooner; you have grown on me.
I mean look at this man?? How could I hate him?
#classic doctor who#sixth doctor#caboose watches classic who#and in case anybody was wondering. I actually didn’t save his episodes for last because it was on Pluto once and I got distracted#listen this is a bit late because I sorta fell for Six a couple of weeks ago#but I’m trying to be funny okay because I was reblogging gifs of him and said to myself#ha remember when you and your coworker poked fun at him and called him the worst doctor?#he’s not hes not he’s not#he’s so not#your honor i love him
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ooh becky msmargaretmurry i have to ask about your rnh thoughts here because while i have never been in the oiler trenches and do not (Do Not!!!) intend to start now, i have been watching on the sidelines since the hall and eberle days and i LOVE to hear your opinions
oh thank you for asking anon!! for context i started watching the oilers on purpose in like 2010ish (i had a friend who was super into hall/eberle and i was NOT immune to that) — i do not claim to be an expert on any of this at all, this is just based on my own experiences and thoughts and ponderings. also for the record i think rnh is great. he is an oiler i am extremely fond of, and i'm glad he seems to have found a solid role there that he's content with and has found success in.
so to me the ryan nugent-hopkins of it all goes something like this:
when the oilers drafted taylor hall first overall in 2010, HE was supposed to be the savior of the franchise. the oilers had lost in the scf in 2006 and then immediately not made the playoffs for four straight years and no one was happy. they drafted taylor, hyped him up SO hard — this era was kind of the the advent of current Online Content era and they were making little videos of him arriving in edmonton, showing him around, fans recognizing him on the street. i feel like nowadays thall's stock as a player is like "good but not GREAT" but you must understand that when he was drafted first overall they were expecting him to be GREAT. him, plus hot young swedes linus omark and magnus pääjärvi, plus canadian world juniors hero jordan eberle had the oilers faithful (and the oilers front office) CONVINCED they were going to be turning things around. people were making t-shirts that said
HALL Omark Paajarvi Eberle
— HOPE, you see???
anyway obviously that season did not actually go that great. they finished last in the league. i think they won something like 25 games all season. and they wound up with another first overall pick, which was our boy, the nuge.
and the thing is, ryan was expected to be very good, but he was NOT expected to be the savior of the franchise. that was already taylor hall's job. there was a lot of concern his rookie season about him being too skinny and not strong enough to really make an impact at the nhl level yet (and to be fair, he DID look like a baby deer out there). the people and the powers that be were very much like, we're glad to have him, we think he'll be a great piece of this rebuild, but there was much more willingness to be like, okay well he might need a few years to finish baking.
rnh's rookie season was better than the season before, but it was still not good. they did not come close to making the playoffs. they were still very bad. the blue jackets were also very bad, and a friend and i drove to columbus and got seats on the glass for oilers/jackets for like $50. extremely funny experience, 10/10, do recommend.
(not relevant to this narrative but a very fun fact imo is that despite the oilers but godawful that season, 2011–12 had two of my favorite oilers games i ever watched: sam gagner's 8-point night against chicago, and a 9-2 win ALSO against chicago, who was one of the best teams in the league at the time. as a bl*ckhawks hater then and now, watching this clown car oilers team run roughshod over chicago brought me immeasurable joy.)
however, the only one of the young stars who was REALLY living up to expectations at this point was jordan eberle? iirc he lead the team in goals AND assists that year. the masses were starting to get impatient with the performances of the other young stars, especially first overall franchise savior taylor hall.
and the oilers won another draft lottery. (you can imagine at this point the rest of the league was already pretty sick of the oilers winning draft lotteries.) they drafted nail yakupov first overall. i am not going to dive deeply into the yakupov saga, because we would be here all night, but suffice to say that, no, he did not live up to first overall expectations, but also, yes, he was very much punished for Being Russian In Edmonton, and those two things cannot be untangled from each other. however, in the context of the nuge of it all, this leaves rnh in an interesting and particular spot: he is still not expected to be taylor hall, and wow he looks like such a nice pick compared to yakupov. rnh is playing pretty well! not all-star numbers or anything, but again, he's not the cornerstone of the franchise rebuild. he is an important brick, but not the foundation.
not like the rebuild is working anyway. with their arsenal of three straight first overall draft picks (and canadian world juniors hero jordan eberle), edmonton misses the playoffs for the seventh straight season. and then they miss them again. and then they miss them again. and it's not even like assigned franchise savior taylor hall is playing poorly — other than one slump of a season he is consistently putting up 50+ point seasons, including one 80 point season! but the oilers as a team are still a laughingstock in the league. it's not just that they're missing the playoffs. they are consistently near the bottom of the league.
to be clear, i don't think this was the fault of the players. i think the oilers were (are) pretty shit at management and were (are) pretty shit at prospect development. i think that when you have a team with that many decent-to-good players and you can't get out of the basement that the problem is systemic. but god forbid the front office take a good long look inward to diagnose the problem within themselves. no, the problem was that assigned franchise savior taylor hall was not doing his job (saving the franchise).
not that there wasn't any frustration toward other players, including rnh. there was frustration toward the team as a whole, but hall often bore the brunt of it. omark and pääjärvi were gone by around 2014. eberle was still well-liked but it was kind of accepted that he wasn't going to change the fate of the organization. the idea that the oilers needed to ship hall out becaue HE was the problem was in the air before the 2015 draft lottery.
and then the oilers won the 2015 draft lottery, and with it, connor mcdavid. people were not happy. (please click on this link it's so funny.) the oilers were so bad at this point that it was just generally accepted that connor going to the oilers meant the prime of his generational-talent career would be wasted by an incompetent team. honestly not really feeling like we've been proven wrong at this exact point in time!
however: connor mcdavid? brand new savior! way better savior than taylor hall ever would have been! the last five years of rebuild weren't REALLY a rebuild, the real rebuild was going to start with mcdavid!
and where is the nuge in all this? he has been pretty quietly plugging away, turning into a very good and reliable nhl player. a consistent 40–50 ish point player, not bad! fast forward a few seasons into the mcdavid era and he's putting up 80 points, 100 points! he's the longest-tenured oiler. the edmonton people and powers that be seem to really value him! which is really awesome.
this is not to say that there was never any "nuge should be better" discourse or any frustration with him when the team was doing so badly, because there was absolutely frustration with the whole team, including him. i do distinctly remember hearing the phrase "the oilers need more from ryan nugent-hopkins" more than once on the broadcasts. nuge finding his role on the team and the notable success he's had in more recent seasons has been a process, even though he hasn't ever been ~bad at the nhl level. however, imo, his positioning between noted disappointments hall and yakupov and also assigned saviors hall and mcdavid did put him in a unique position where people had a little more patience with him and blamed him less for the team's struggles than his fellow first overalls.
i do still miss the kid line sometimes though.
#ask#hockey for ts#thank u anon for letting me take this little trip down memory lane#also i was going to leave the coffeeshop and hour ago but i got so distracted by this 😂#all that being said does anyone else remember EXACTLY where they were when the oilers won the mcdavid lottery?#i have a terrible memory but i remember it in such exacting detail
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I'm so tired
#not to come on here just to complain and feel sorry for myself especially because i know things are so much worse for so many other ppl#but as hard as i'm trying it's hard to believe things will be okay i'm trying so hard not to fall into defeatist attitudes#but fuck man. fuck. it's not even that i'm surprised or anything it's just. man#i want to curl up in a ball and just be comforted and cry and be upset but i can't do that and i have no one to do that#my worker's comp payments aren't coming through like they're supposed to and i have like ten dollars and barely any food in the apartment#my injuries aren't getting better the pain is still there even though i'm doing everything i'm supposed to#my meds aren't working but meds have NEVER worked on me and i keep hoping and praying some day i'll find one that will but i fear they won'#i have more psych testing in january but a part of me worries about doing it because if (when) i test positive for certain things it will b#on my record and considering..... the state of things i worry about what that means for me and my autonomy esp regarding anything medical#i still can't convince any doctors to take my issues that are almost CERTAINLY endometriosis seriously and again.... given the state of thi#i find it very hard to believe that will change and will in fact only get worse and i will never be able to get any kind of sterilization o#hysterectomy and if something ever ended up happening and i DID get pregnant well. it would not be good for me#i feel very alone and like i need to and must handle everything on my own but i feel like i'm about to break doing that#and then this. this. this this this this. i know it's not fair to be upset about it. like i said things are so much worse for so many other#but fuck dude. fuck man. mentally i have not been doing good recently and nothing has happened in my life to really help that recently#i want to go back to being so repressed i genuinely felt/believed i was emotionless this was not a good year for the dam to break#i told my therapist the other day that i feel like a toddler. i was so repressed and emotionless for as long as i can remember#so i never learned to deal with big ugly and overwhelming emotions. so i react as a child still learning would because i never got the#chance to learn how to manage them and FUCK MAN i feel like i'm losing it#i know it's important to do what you can and not fall into overly negative mindsets but that's not something i was good at anyways#and now it's even harder but i'm trying. fuck dude i'm trying so hard i want to be hopeful i want to do what i can#i don't want to hate everything and jump immediately to wanting to kms or destroying my whole life because what's the point#i just. holy fuck. man i need a minute to breathe and i wish i had someone physically here to hold me and tell me it's okay#but i don't have that so i'll be a big girl and sort myself out like usual and just hope i don't break yet#i'm gonna go watch anime and try and read fic to distract myself but mannnnnnnn i feel like i'm losing it#kaz rambles
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me and that pathetic guy who swooned me with his wizardly charms
#when I remembered you can take screenshots I took too many of us smooching 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#thinking of that one scene where you're talking to that lady zero k#and I chose to 'distract her by thinking about my yearning for gale'#and she said some shit like 'you could do better than that pathetic man.....'#ma'am that's why I want him#THE CHIN HOLD KISS GOT ME LIKE 💓💓💓💓💓 ??!?????!!??!!#*why did 'zrell' autocorrect to 'zero k'#I'm sorry but I'm too tired to fix it
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viscerally upset by something that happened and now i have to decide if i want the mtt to go through the horrors and atrocities or if i want them to be happy and fluffy. neither will make me any less furious
#hey what happened wouldve lowkey been really really if i hadnt gotten lucky today#but at least AT LEAST i remember what immense rage feels like again so i can put that onto them#when in doubt mtt it out#im not as mad as i was before (distracting myself through the internet is a great coping mechanism)#me when i get to remember what it feels to be so mad at someone you'd fight until theyre knocked out or dead#me when i get any sort of life experience that allows me to better understand the murder time trio#life isnt real life is all just a way for me to better understand these 3#my anger is making me lean towards horrors and atrocities#but the other side of me (the side that just wants to relax) wants them to be happy#yeaaaah but i cant decide whether im angry or want to get over it#i will instead simply allow this feeling to fade away slowly until i am functional again#had an interaction today where i was like damn. this gives killer#i got a text from my brother that said hi and i was like ❓ and then he got mad that i was being rude or wtvr#and when he explained it to me i was just like dude. you NEVER text me unless you want/need something#smh im just getting to the point faster man no need for the formalities i already dont care#just tell me what you need me to do and leave me alone fuckass. this is a transaction not a friendly exchange#i dont CARE if this sounds mean im annoyed and i rarely feel anything negative so i want to capitalize on this#tricule rant
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...
#would really like it if my OC didn't make me freak out over my mom's book organization methods#(/the fact that she didn't remember which books were where when she put them back after we moved them so we could replace the carpet)#while I was already busy trying to get ready for work#and it culminated in me cutting my finger while trying to take the tag off of the bandana I want to wear tomorrow#because I was too frustrated at 'needing' to 'fix' the bookshelves#to pay attention to what I was doing#and also because said tags (there 3 of them bigger than most shirt tags... for a 1x1ft sqr of fabric)#were stitched on so tightly I couldn't get my seam ripper to catch the thread#and my mom asked me to calm down right after I pricked my finger trying to get the stiches out#and I ended up throwing the scissors and ripping the tag off the bandana#and yelling at my mom#while trying to explain to her what happened#and that I wasn't even mad at her#and she tried to distract me but that just pissed me off even more so I told her to shut up#and she got angry (which is fair- I did just scream about how much I hate myself and how she organized the books for like 5-10 min straight#and now my mom is mad and I hate my brain chemistry even more and also my throat hurts and I just want to go to sleep
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ough why did my iv drip hurt so much 😭 i had preseptal cellulitis as a kid and they gave me iv antibiotics so it'd be a quicker recovery and the cannula was in my hand and apparently its not supposed to hurt but every 4? 6? hours when they switched the drip on i just remember it hurting so much i cried. makes me squeamish even now
#chaos.txt#that hospital trip was so crazy i remember it in such vivid detail and i was like. 8#my eye hurt thursday evening my dad said there was no point going to a&e we'd rather wait till morning#in the morning it was all puffed up and crunchy and we went to the hospital :-) and my dad took me to eye casualty#and we sat for a few hours i remember the waiting room and everything. eventually got seen sent up to this empty ward#literally 10 beds and just me. my mum bought grapes. they put in the cannula#they tried to distract me but i rly didn't want it lol so i was squirming so i always think maybe i just made them do it wrong?#my mum had to leave the room because she's squeamish 😭 hurt like hell#then i fainted a while after. definitely related my body doesn't like needles#got moved to this other ward much busier and then honestly i don't remember#i know that i went to the kids play area on saturday and got disappointed because they only did workshops on weekdays#and my mum met a woman whose older kid had been there for a while and i was jealous of his walking IV#and in the night this girl was brought in next to me with a bunch of red angry spots#and my hand burned when they switched the IV on so my dad held my hand :-)#and there was a boy with a broken leg the next ward over and i was so fascinated by the sling#and when they took the cannula out it didn't hurt at All but i was like oh there's blood there ! so i started cleaning it up#and the nurse said oh you'd make a great nurse one day :) and i think one of my parents said or a doctor!#and . well. here we are. god 10 years later. what a wild ride
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i honestly cant stop thinking about how amusing the Raphael boss fight was lmao
#it was very funny by the end of it but not in a 'you wrote a bad boss fight' kinda way#in a 'we are high school kids picking on a stupid adult' kind of way#was this guy threatening at one point? i dont remember im too distracted by how i stopped taking him seriously 40 hours ago#when he said he wanted to usurp asmo and i went '...........oh youre just an airhead got it'#bg3
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gonna go drive to see my puppy in my (fixed!!) car 💖
#mom said to get pizza ingredients and we’re gonna make pizza also omg about my car i didn’t even say it here but remember when i said the#check engine light came on and it was the DPF well turns out she was so clogged up that she was running weird and now that i’ve got her#back it’s literally like a new car i mean she’s kind of a sports car to begin with but this is a whole other level im so excited to go for#a drive lmaooo let’s not talk about how Much Fucking Money i had to shell out for her this month#it will all serve as a good distraction for all my FEELINGS this is so funny i feel like normal people deal w things way easier but oh well
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Me going to bed at midnight for the past week (minus one day): yippee!! Finally, a schedule!!
The only 6 to 8 hours of sleep I've actually been getting:
#greys random updates#cmon i need like double that to properly function 😭#anyway good morning happy pride montn i would have said it when i was reblogging but then i got distracted finding posts to srb on gdta#< greydoesthearts that means#so anyway i am very sleepy and kind of angy but if i go back to sleep itll be too late when i wake up and ill get off schedule#kind of hoping if i keep this up maybe my body will get used to it? idk#says the thing whos never been able to function as long as it can remember on less than 12 hours of sleep. school was. hard lol
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Prior to sending the ask I was just guessing what matrophobia meant based on the root words but I looked it up after and went ohhhh and then you confirmed that extra dimension to it and I went OHHHHH
I think that gets to the heart of what I've been thinking about, that bittersweetness, because despite his best efforts... of course he could never end up anything like Yoko, but he still ended up with an abusive "household." Because in addition to Masato ending up how he did, he has to see those same situations play out, feel that same tension in the air between Jo and Ichi, over and over for almost a decade straight.
Like, in a way, he's forced to put himself in Toshio's shoes when that happens. He can't really get through to Jo, in the same way Toshio can't get through to Yoko, but he can try to step in before lasting damage is done, and he can try to make it bearable for his son. You know. Have a nice talk. Treat him to Peking duck. I'm SO normal about the (drawn-out) parallels of those scenes
So then with Jo... he kind of does become his father, even if he never wanted to (no one wants to), both through his ruinous neglect of Masato at birth and through how he comes to look at discipline and corporal punishment. I'm sure it's not lost on him in Masato's case (owww), but with Ichi, it's not like he has any reason to see him as his son... But How Far Can That Take You.
Because it's like, at the start, he was openly beating Ichi in front of Arakawa and not letting up much when Arakawa intervened. But then you have The Yubitsume Scene and Arakawa walking in on All That and... he looks sorry. Sorry for being caught, probably, but sorry nonetheless. Like... what changed between then and now... have you two had a Heartfelt Conversation... do you know where Arakawa got that scar... are you unable to change your "nature" even then...
Side note bro your SHOE is the size of his TORSO I promise you do not need to kick him with all the strength you've got like what the hell is this 😭😭😭
BUT ALL THAT ASIDE thank you so much for delving into the symbolism! Wonderful read. I don't really have an eye for symbolism, so that makes it all the more enjoyable to revisit the comic and everything with what you've gone into. I think a lot of your experiences resonate with mine, so conversely I'm not sure what others would take away from it, BUT I think there's enough there that's so insightful and evocative that it's effective without personal experience. I don't think there's anything I could add, so. Yeah. For once I am happy to sit back and take it all in... On that note, definitely looking forward to your next comic!
AUUUGH YEAAAH YEAHEYA HYEAH THAT EXACTLY OUUUGH OWIEE OWW.....
that's literally it though. like no extra notes. except The Obligatory Few i dont think it was an accident that arakawa is set up as the beginning of the game's 'protagonist' and planting that 'troubled family' taste first thing in our mind. i remember how i felt when i first saw arakawa walk in on jo and ichi and then arakawa taking ichi out for dinner i was just like🧍♂️Girl No The Cycle.... It's Continuing...... //screams// LIKE UGH IT WAS SO GOOD BUT ALSO OWWW STOPPP and then on the REPLAY it just hurts more cause with the added context to jo's character its like Oh No...... You're Your Father's Son....
and youre right: jo doesn't have an implicit reason to see how he treats ichi is wrong, hence he similarly doesnt have any reason to stop- not unless arakawa intervenes of course (and i will stand outside my window thinking of the possibility arakawa ever did try to have A Conversation with jo... arms folded behind my back and all like Man™️....)
oh but yeah, absolutely no problem ! im lowkey of an egotist so i do like to talk bout the stuff i make. More In Depth (though thats obvious considering the fuckin essays in the tags i always leave ☠️☠️) gerjlgaELKjg. so i was happy to explain ♪(´▽`) !! what i like about symbolism is that it can be intentional or not, and the fun is always finding it just by chance. i cant explain it properly, but i just think its a neat 'seasoning' of sorts to drawings (❁´◡`❁)
#long post#snap chats#everyone in rgg got flipper shoes i stg tho like evey time i look at everyones renders i gotta point it out to myself 😭#speaking of. The Cycle. and Personal Experiences. arakawa walkin in on jo and ichi esp hits cause thats def a thing thats happened to mysel#its insane how one woman terrorizes my whole family but no cause i remember my mom would tear me a new one. Metaphorically#or she'd be pissed at my sis and i and my sis would just take us out for lunch and we'd talk bout it#Unsurprisingly my dad would do that for me growin up and he was there#i used to visit him on weekends when he lived nearby and those were my Peking Duck dinners in a sense#he'd just do his best to make sure i felt at home and making sure. i was cared for for once LMAO#so yeah to see that repeat in my family with my sister taking the role of my dad its like ow...#OH YEAH NO ITS BEEN A HOT YEAR SINCE I SAID HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME TO GET THROUGH THE BEGINNING OF Y7 HUH#it hurts a lot to watch masumi's backstory since it's EXTREMELY personal and hits too close to home but i watch it anyway 🥴#probably the first and only time a piece of media can actually 'trigger' me that badly i guess. how lame#i think ive updated my villain origin story enough tho. im sorry you also had a shit mom If Im Assuming Right#i wish it was easy to deal with bad parents but. well. if it was we wouldnt have them amiright#the best i can do is vent how i feel and at least try to have people in similar situations as me feel. understood. as corny as that sounds#its a little heinous to say Im Glad Our Experiences Are Similar cause id never wish my experiences on anyone else#but i guess i mean to say im glad we can understand each other in that regard#on a semi-better note. please dont hope for the comic anytime soon i only just finished sketching set pieces ( ´◡` ;;;)#I GOT DISTRACTED AGAAAINNNNN also its very cold and i dont work well in the cold. s'cause my fingers get all stiff EW#but i WILL have this one done i have too many abandoned projects i aint abandoning another one#with that in mind its funny you mention arakawas scar cause i did have a tiny baby thing in mind with it#nothing sad or serious this time just somethin cute even. if THAT ever happens we'll see it but yeah. just another funny case of Timing#alright bye bye for now i should work on this. after i answer your second ask HANG ON ILL SEE YOU THERE--
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I’m the anon who sent you the ask having to do w my therapist and stuff a few days ago. I wanted to clear some things up, if it’s alright!
I wasn’t worried about anyone gossiping about what I would’ve told them, more worried that they’d get overly concerned and tell someone for that reason. I’m a fairly private person, so the idea was startling to me.
And thank you for giving me permission to tell you- that means a lot. My only thing is that I’d be worried about stressing you out or something! I do actually consider you a friend, which is why I asked your opinion on the topic, but I didn’t want to cause you unnecessary worry or anything (hence the anon form).
In other, good news: I’m doing a lot better! I was having reoccurring nightmares of a trauma that I’ve never experienced, but is prevalent in my family. My OCD isn’t the best, so the dreams were beginning to freak me out in a sense that I was beginning to wonder if it was some prophecy or something. (Granted, I’m not actually sure if it was OCD related, but it’s my best grounded-in-reality guess at the moment). Anyways, point is the nightmares have stopped for now!
Alright, if you’re still reading, go eat something, drink water, take your medication if you have medication, the whole deal.
Hello again, welcome back! Totally alright to clear things up; I can only get so much from a single message, and I'm bound to make mistakes and misinterpret things sometimes.
Ah, makes sense! The phrase "getting out" (or however you worded it) is rather vague, so thank you for the clarification! I've said it to other people, but I'll say it again here: I think clear, upfront communication about how you're feeling and what you want--in this case, sharing that you're not comfortable with what you say being shared, and communicating your reasoning behind not wanting someone else knowing--is the smart option. Obviously I don't know your situation exactly, and communicating like that isn't always easy, but it can be very effective. Just wanted to add that even though you said you're doing better!
Please don't worry about stressing me though--I appreciate your concern for me, but I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't completely willing to listen. And like I said, you don't need to tell me, I'm just here if you'd like to talk to me. If it helps, if at any point what you say gets to be too much for me, I will communicate that with you and we can work something out that's best for the both of us. Please feel free to reach out however you're most comfortable--anon, dm's, discord, etc.
I'm thrilled you're doing better though! I wish I could empathize more with the nightmare thing, but I've never been much of a dreamer of any kind. Hopefully they don't come back, but if they ever do I'm sending you emotional support in advance!
And thank you. Water has been drunked, dishes washed (stopped midway through answering this to wash the dishes because my dad didn't want to and I love washing dishes), medication has not been taken because I don't have any (got adhd meds, took them Once, psyched myself out even though they did do their job, and never touched them again. they're shoved in the back of my closet), and hotel has been trivagoed :). I hope you have a good whatever time of day it is for you!!
#quil's queries#nonsie#long post#i was about to say 'aw FUCK my airpod died again i'm gonna kill a man'#but then I remembered the date#and it got a whole lot funnier in my head#anyway! glad to hear you're doing better anonymous friend :)#YOU should drink water take your meds clean between your toes paint flowers on your walls make a sculpture all that jazz#where did that phrase come from#fred astaire...1956 autobiography...made popular by the song title in 1975 when lyricist fred ebb included it in the musical chicago...#i sure hope I said everything I wanted to already because now I can't member what I wanted to say. got distracted#but anyway!!! emotional support across the internet!!
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Do you know that "friend" who makes you feel bad about the things you do by talking about someone else who also does these things and saying that the reason that other person does these things is on purpose to be selfish or piss off others but never talks to you about the times you do those things?
Especially when they are mental health related things?
Yeah?
Fuck that friend.
#vent post#it's been a couple of years and I still haven't forgotten the time my “friend” went on a rant about a girl he knows#and how she used social anxiety as an excuse to be picked up and driven by someone when asked if she wanted to hang out#like fuck you man why do you care? she has set her terms for hanging out why are you salty?#you said she doesn't have a car or driver's license because of her anxiety so maybe she isn't lying you dumb salty fuck#and then using her situation to make me feel bad that I don't have a car or drive because I'm scared of getting distracted#because my neurodivergency inconveniences you so much when you want to hang out but I need transportation alternatives like public transport#there is a simple solution for that my dude#and the solution is that you FUCK OFF and go hangout with your other friends who can drive since me being unable bothers you so much#but you should remember that when you went scorched earth on everyone and got screwed over#when you came back with your tail between your legs to apologise to all your friends that you hurt#i welcomed you with open arms and was worried for you#and when my foster dad died and I disappeared off the face of the earth you didn't give a shit#but years later I gave enough of a shit to find you again and I gave enough of a shit to ask how you had been doing all these years#and while you told me about how bad you had it you didn't once ask how bad I had it#you didn't once wondered how fucked in the head I might have gotten and why#remember all this shit next time you whine about how hard it is to make friends in your 30s while you are constantly texting new people#and I'm over here talking to the same 3 which include you#maybe it's hard for you to make friends because you're a douche dick and the only people who stayed were the ones who don't care#and ignore you while you continue to be a douche dick or the ones that care about you enough to withstand your douchedickery#which your own MOTHER couldn't stand by the way
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I was on call for nearly 7 hours between streaming my samurai game, watching anime, and then just chatting some. Which was really great for getting my mind off things!!! Hung out with a good assortment of friends, which was pretty great.
Though. Now I'm alone again. Which I usually enjoy. But it also has me remembering why I was on such a long call to start with...
I have therapy tomorrow, and I don't know whether I should mention this. She's primarily my grief therapist, so it'd maybe feel weird to spring something else on her... but I don't know...
#speculation nation#just kinda remembering again how fickle it all was.#all the compliments... the 'i love you's... nearly 6 months of them...#dropped so suddenly for a days-long infatuation...#ultimately i guess it's for the best that this happened before i got Too deep into it.#unlike my ex from 2020. where i was literally living with him and genuinely contemplating eventual marriage.#the idea was floated vaguely of my recent ex and i living together next year if we were still together by then.#so if she's gonna be so shallow and selfish as to drop me just like that for a new 'love'...#going so far as to say she doesnt actually love me & every time she said it was just automatic impulse...#like. ouch.#adding in the fact that i admitted to her that i struggle with trust and abandonment issues#due to prior experiences with being dropped for being too difficult or having someone choose some1 else over me...#she promised that i was the only one she wanted to actually date... but then turned around out of nowhere and said she wanted to add one#but when i stood my ground and voiced my concern about her daying someone else given the obvious communication issues going on#(aka her standing me up without warning and ignoring me all day. which she said was bc she was too distracted by the person#she's in 'love' with. to the point where i just wasnt even a thought in her mind...)#(though i literally called her when she didnt show up to the time we agreed on. idk how she'd miss it. but oh well.)#anyways i was rightfully worried about it. and Thats when she ignored me again only to say she couldnt see us working out#bc there was no way of her feeling the same way with me that she does with Her...#frankly i think shes blinded by infatuation and is going to regret this later down the line.#throwing a good thing away for a passing fancy who's planning on moving away soon Anyways.#but. well. it's not my problem anymore is it? even if she begged for me back theres no way i would#after the absolute shitshow that's been the past day.#and it sucks bc i really did like her and spending time with her. but im glad it happened now. before i got too deep in it.#i'll give myself time to recover. focus on my interests again. and school.#and in a few months' time maybe i'll join the dating pool again. this time with a better idea of my wants and boundaries.#it really sucks to have 10 exes. it's kind of embarrassing. but with each one im learning more about myself.#in time maybe i'll find the person that's right for me. who wont drop me bc im too much of a hassle or bc someone else is better.#i have worth as a person. im not perfect but plenty of people do like me.#and i'll find the person who wants to stay with me for good. sometime. eventually.
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As she should Billy is a lucky guy (and maybe he can find another guy to admire besides jay)
ransom (pt 2) ☆ jay halstead
summary: in which y/n is rescued and jay has something to say.
warnings: language, guns, mentions of injury
a/n: I’m actually incredibly proud of this lmaooo. I love writing more light hearted pieces and am so happy so many of you loved the first part. many people requested a part two and hope you enjoy this also! - love emie <3
PART ONE
Lees verder
#of course we are the ones who call when its a life and death situation#like hi taco bell? im hungry can i get some food before i get shot#thanks deliver it closeby at some non deceript building with a very non shady car parked infront of it with very non suspicious stains#on the pavement#my guy youve been without her for what? a day or smth? dont be dramatic 😭 go save her ass#the kidnappers are either on the verge of just returning her out of annoyance or are growing fond of her and are like lets keep her#JAY SHES BEEN MISSING FOR FIVE HOURS STOP YOUR DRAMATIC ASS ACTIONS#no everyone wants to shoot her but then again thats sadly a felony#the leader is frantically going like SIR?? Why didnt you say shes horrible can we pLEASE GET RID OF HER#FIVE DAYS#Oh- i take back what i said jay#not really#theyre all like why do i have to do this#how do you remember all the ppl tho i barely remember what i had for dinner last night#kardashians shouldnt be missed thats illegal (i havent watched a single episode)#imo one of the worse things is the birth control issue like my guys unless you want me to die or kill one of you for distraction#give me the birth control#HEY if you get complimented on your ass thats a great compliment how dare he#even if humming would still be hearable just make them go insane by humming all day#mh at least they have eyes#throw in some queer guards tho spice shit up#i mean i dont blame mister 'who is he?' for listening#if you have nothing better to do at least listen (i thjnk im running out of tags)#baby face is an awesome guy tbh he probably just got dragged in#also considerate mans even offered her a cig#💀 mans only now thought up knocking her out lmao. feel sorry for babyface tho hes good and terry is a dumbass#poor billy tbh he needs some better friends and some money but hes a good guy.. i need to see them become besties ngl#TELL THEM ABOUT BILLY#BILLY BEING BESTIES YES#billy is like girl if he wasnt yours id date him
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