#remember when I switched from business to stem....

[minniesmutt]

✧ ━━━ CHOKEHOLD ✧ ━━━ CW: CORSET, ORAL SEX (F.REC), FINGERING, DOM(?)!FELIX, UNPROTECTED SEX, SCRATCHING, G-SPOT STIMULATION, MULTIPLE ORGASMS, CREAM PIE, ✧ ━━━ WC: 1.8K

     There wasn’t always a war between the Solar and Lunar Kingdoms. Disagreements and minor issues here and there, yes. But only in the last few years did Y/n’s father— the king of the Lunar Kingdom—deem the Solar Kingdom their enemy. She remembered the night vividly.

     It was supposed to be a celebration in Spring court. One of two major territories that belonged to the Lunar Kingdom. It was the turn of the season. From winter to spring and all courts— Winter, Spring, Summer, Autumn— were in attendance along with Solar and Lunar Kingdoms. 

     Everything seemed fine the entire night. Dinner, socializing, and even dancing was fine. Or maybe she should have paid more attention. She was busy. It wasn’t often she got to see the fae she was fated to. 

     Between her responsibilities as princess and Felix’s responsibilities as prince and next in line for Solar’s throne, they didn’t see much of each other except at formal events like this. 

     “You look gorgeous tonight,” Felix complimented as he danced with her. Having just switched partners from Jisung — the Duke of Autumn court— to Felix. 

     “Thank you,” Y/n smiled 

     “Any word from your father on Solar’s proposal?” Felix questioned

     “No. I know he and my brother were discussing it. Don’t know what the outcome was.”

     Both heirs weren’t blind to the fact their kingdoms weren’t entirely friends. Resources were always the main fight between them. Last time Felix had visited Y/n— well her kingdom — on official business, he had mentioned to her that he proposed to his and her father and advisors that if the two heirs were to marry then the fighting would stop. Their realm could have peace.

     “Hopefully it’s a good one,” Felix asked

     “I hope so too. I’m tired of only seeing each other at events.”

     “We should make the most of it then.”

     The two royals made their way out of the ballroom and walked down the halls of Spring Manor. Finding themselves out in the back garden, moonlight bathing them and blooming the spring flowers as the winter flowers fell from their stems.

     “Do you think we should have told our families about our fates?” Felix asked

     “No, you know how my father is when anyone brings up fate,” Y/n responded

     “Yeah. Even if I barely pay attention.”

     “Because you distract easily.”

     “It’s easy to be distracted when you’re naked in my bed, princess.”

     “Then don’t ask me those questions, prince.”

     Felix smiled as he stood in front of her, stopping them from their walk and holding her hips, “Speaking of beds, is the Lunar princess staying in Spring Manor tonight?”

     “I am. I take it you are too?”

     “Indeed I am.”

     The two royals quickly made their way out of the garden, the south entrance of the manor closer and where her room was. The two quickly and quietly got to her room and locked the door. 

     Felix cupped her face in his hands and pressed his warm lips to hers. Y/n smiled against his lips as she held his waist, slowly walking back to the bed. The prince turned then and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling her onto his lap.

     “Missed you,” Y/n whispered against his lips

     “Missed you too,” Felix mumbled, hands moving to undo the corset of her dress, slowly pulling the strings loose. 

     Y/n helped him pull her dress off before she stripped him of his suit. All materials of their formal wear falling to the floor or mattress behind them. Felix laid back with her on top before gently rolling her over, pinning her onto the mattress, and moving his lips down her neck and body

     “Lix,” Y/n whined

     “Been too long. Let me worship you for a while, princess.”

     Felix didn’t let her get another word, kissing further down her torso and pulling her legs over his shoulders. Pretty lips wrapping around her clit, gently sucking on the bud and flicking it with his tongue. Y/n moaned as he held her thighs tight. Not daring to move them from his shoulders. 

     “Lix,” Y/n moaned as her fingers tangled in his blond hair. The prince made a small noise below but didn’t let up, now on a mission.

     The prince took one hand off her thigh and slipped one finger into her. Y/n covered her mouth, hiding her moans from anybody who was maybe passing by. No one — except their advisors who handled their mail— knew the two royals were together. No one in Y/n’s family knew about her secret relationship with the prince of Solar. She just hoped her father would accept his marriage proposal and he could believe the relationship was his choosing. All she hoped was one day she’d wake up with Felix instead of cold beds after their rendezvous. 

     The princess bit her lips and tipped her head back as her walls clenched around his finger. Felix hummed to himself in contempt as he felt her squeeze his finger. Slipping another finger in her she begged for more which seemed to do the job. Walls pulsing around his fingers as he lapped at her clit. Groaning and holding her down with one hand as her hips rocked against his face. He held her and kept rubbing all the right spots before she came on his fingers. 

     Y/n arched her back against him as she rode out high before crashing against the mattress. Felix pulled away from her and cleaned off his fingers before hovering over her. Kissing her cheeks, “Feeling alright there princess?” he asked in his deep voice

     “Mhm,” Y/n nodded as a chill ran down her spine. There always was one when he spoke to her in his deepest voice

     “Does my needy princess need more or are you side for the night?” he asked her

     “More,” Y/n begged

     “You never need to beg. Just ask,” Felix reminded her as he sat back and wrapped her legs around his hips. Y/n looked down at the prince. Watching him push his blond hair out of his face and lined himself up at her entrance. Slowly pushing in and giving her as much time as she needed to get used to him again. 

     Y/n wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back to her. “Missed you,” Y/n whispered as he slowly pulled back and pushed in

     “I missed you too.” Felix pressed his lips to hers again. His arms moved under her body and held her close to him. Hips moved skillfully, capturing her moans in his mouth as she captured his. 

     “Take me back with you this time, please.” Y/n begged

     “I wish I could darling.” Felix groaned, hips picking up pace slightly.

     Y/n moaned as his tip just grazed that perfect spot inside her. “There! Right there Lix.”

     Felix acknowledged her words and shifted his position just a little to push further in and hit that spot inside her where she begged to be hit. Pushing her legs up just a bit more as well. His hands slid under her thighs to do so. The princess gasped when the position hit right where she needed him. Her hands moved down his back before her nails were crawling back up. Eliciting a deep groan from him and cursing under his breath.

     Y/n smiled to herself at his reaction before the thought left her head and focused back on how the prince was making her feel. Pushing her further into pleasure before her whole body was consumed with it. 

     “Fuck,” Felix groaned as she clenched around him, riding out her second orgasm.

     He waited until he felt her unclench and sink into the mattress before he sat up a bit more and pushed her legs down just a bit more, thrusting into her as fast as he could. Her moans and whines helping him get off quicker. Pushing deep into her and letting his cum paint her walls. 

     He gave himself a few seconds before pulling her legs down to pulled out of her. Felix gave her a quick kiss on her lips before making his way to the ensuite bathroom she had and grabbed a cloth to clean her up and then discarded it in the bathroom before climbing into the bed with her. Pulling the covers over them. 

     “I want to wake up like this,” Y/n grumbled as she wrapped her arms around the prince’s waist 

     “So do I darling,” Felix sighed and kissed the top of her head.

     Both knew they couldn’t. Who knows what would happen if someone found them in their position. 

     So many days they wished and wrote how they wanted to wake up next to the other. No more sneaking around. Felix himself was trying to do everything in his power to make that dream a reality. At this point, he didn’t care if it hurt him or he lost sleep— which he most certainly had— over it. 

     He would give anything in the realm to have her by his side. Even giving up his throne. 

     Y/n had paid so much attention to her lover that she had completely dismissed her family. She never saw her father talking to Felix’s father. Nor the building temper he had before leaving the ballroom. Now back home she watched soldiers in the courtyard prepare for war. Her father and brother in front of them. 

     “You got a letter,” Seungmin, her personal advisor, alerted her.

     “From him?” Y/n asked, grabbing the folded paper from his hands. Seeing Felix’s signature stamp. 

     “Why would I hand it straight to you otherwise?”

     She quickly read through the letter. Solar was preparing for war too. He would be heading Solar’s front with his advisor — Chan. Worry quickly building in her gut. She had overheard her father and brother talking about the future king leading the front line and she knew just how Minho fought. She’d seen him practice and heard how the guards spoke about his skills. 

     Scared for her lovers like she started forming the later in her head as she quickly walked to her room, Stringing following not far behind. 

     “I should warn you it’s going to be hard to get the letter out. Your fathers talking about refusing any mail in or out of the kingdom. Only allowing messages from allies?” Seungmin warned her 

      As far as she knew, the costs were still up in area about the war, almost refusing to pick a side. But she has overheard her brother and Jisung of Autumn court discussing troops to send from autumn court to the kingdom.

     “Fuck,” She cursed under her breath

     “Language, princess,” Seungmin teased her

     “I am not in the mood for the reading right now, Kim Seungmin,” Y/n warned him

     “Apologies.”

     “Do whatever you can to get my letters to Felix, understood? I don’t care if you're going behind my father and brothers back.”

     “Understood.”

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[kiwichaeng]

When the academically challenging course I chose and prayed and cried for academically challenges me: 😧😧

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Devil Wears Armani 4

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as age gap, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: you’re the CEO’s new PA and you find the work too much to handle. (short!reader)

Characters: Tony Stark, this reader is known as Georgie.

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

💼Part of the Bad Bosses AU💼

The flight makes you restless. It’s more than just the confinement but the company. Each time your hand wanders up to fix your shirt, it’s swatted away by another. You wince as you look at your boss, his eyes glued to his phone screen. 

You fidget and cross one leg over the other, then switch. You crane to see the baggage crate and push yourself to your feet. Before you can stand straight, you’re wrenched back down. 

“Where’re you going?” Stark challenges. 

You wince and shake your head, “just... to get my laptop. I was going to do some work.” 

“Did I tell you to do that?” 

“Well, no, sir, but--” 

“I’m your boss so you work for me. You do what I say.” He puts his phone down on the table and shifts to look you up and down. “If you’re getting up, why don’t you get your bikini and show off for me?” 

“Huh.... what? Er, sir?” Your lashes flutter and your eyes skitter back and forth. 

“Yeah, sure. Gotta make sure it’s hot tub appropriate.” He winks and nudges you. 

“Oh, uh, but...” 

“But?” He sucks his teeth and the humour drains from his face. “Do I need to report you for employee insubordination? Ha. But who exactly do I report you to? I mean, the CEO doesn’t really have anyone above him so...” 

Guilt tugs in your cheeks. You can’t admit your mistake aloud, yet you can’t defy him either. You just nod and stand. You walk slowly across the cabin. You’re not used to the floating sensation that makes you feel heavy at the same time. 

You grab your bag and unzip it. You sift around for the black one-piece.  

“Gotta try it on to get the full effect, sweetheart,” Stark snickers. 

You do up the bag and put it back. You cringe and sidle toward the bathroom. The attendant emerges from behind the curtain and you quickly hide inside the tiny compartment. You roll the door shut and look at yourself in the mirror. You look just as terrified as you feel. 

It’s just the way Stark is. He doesn’t like being refused or any glint of defiance. It all stems back to that day when you got in the way of his fun. Really, it’s your own fault. You should have been patient. You should have waited before you just ran right in. 

You turn away from your reflection and ice flows through your veins. Once he’s thoroughly humiliated you, this will be done. Or you could quit. In mid-air. Without a way home. 

Shoot. 

You switch out your business attire for the swimsuit. It’s been so long since you put it on. It’s tighter than you remember. It pulls high along your pelvis and your bottom threatens to fall out completely. You feel little better than naked. 

You face the door and gulp. You amp yourself up to emerge and when you do, you nearly collide with the attendant. Oh god! As much as you want to retreat and hide behind the door, you can’t. You’re locked in place until she disappears behind the curtain. 

Mr. Stark whistles in his seat. You approach, hands hovered over your ass, and stop just beside the leather armrest. You do your best to conceal yourself behind the empty seat. He reaches for his drink and swigs. 

“Can’t see you like that,” he chirps as he considers the dark scotch. 

“Sir... I...” 

You choke down your protest and step up. You turn to face the table and shiver as he looks at you from the corner of his eyes. He frowns at you and his cheek dimples. 

“What the fuck is that, George?” 

“Um, my swimsuit--” 

“That isn’t a bikini.” 

“I know, sir. I don’t have--” 

“I pay you enough to afford one. Don’t act all innocent with me. Turn around.” He spins his finger and you blink. You shake your head and pout. 

“Mr. Stark?” 

He snaps his fingers. You look at the window and the clouds outside. Even if you had the strength to run, you can’t. So, you do what he says. 

“Move your hands,” he demands. You pull your hands to your side and bounce on your heels. He hisses through his teeth, “whoowie, Georgie cakes, that’s a hell of a keester.” 

You quickly twirl around and clap your hands to your bottom. You sputter, “Mr--” 

He snickers and bites his lip, “come on. Put it on me, George.” 

“Hm?” Your brow furrows. 

“Don’t give me that dumb look. It makes me horny so get over here.” 

He squares his shoulders as he leans back into the leather cushion. He drags his hands up and down his pants and wiggles his hips. He purrs as he looks down at the twitch in the fabric. You inhale and hold it in until it aches. 

“Sir?” 

“Sit.” 

You turn and shift between the seat and the table. You reach back to touch the armrests to lower yourself but nearly tumble. Stark yanks your wrist and forces you in front of him. Before you can get your balance, he has you by the hips. He pulls you in his lap and wraps his arms around you. 

You wriggle and push on the armrests. “Mr. Stark, this isn’t... appropriate. This... you said... a work trip?” 

“I’m working,” he tilts beneath you. The blunt prod makes you squirm. “Hard. Lot of work to keep from blowing right now.” 

“Huh?” You try to stand but he has you trapped in his arms. 

“Keep rubbing your ass on me like that and I won’t be able to. Relax and... enjoy the flight.” He keeps an arm hooked around you and eases back. You tense as his hand spreads across your stomach, fingers petting just above your pelvis. He pulls you back and rests his chin on your shoulder. 

“Grab my phone for me, will ya?” 

[lvrsparadise]

'strangers.' - M.S

synopsis - "and then one random night when everything changes, you won't reply, and we'll go back to strangers."

warnings! - angst, kissing, profanity, depressing (i hurt my own heart writing this), italics are flashbacks, the bold italic in matt's pov is his thoughts (he's battling with himself). based on strangers by kenya grace

a/n - i wrote this in math class..... anyways. i absolutely love this, but hate myself for making it so sad. also, just to clarify, when the text part comes up, he's not cheating !! my friend thought he was and i had to clarify. (ths is me stalling as i try to finish the tracklist post and finish nikes (i started it!!!))

i smile as i get in the car,

we’ll get in your car.

matt leans over and gives me a kiss.

and you’ll lean to kiss me.

i look to the backseat to see the seats down and blankets and colorful lights decorating the back of the van.

“what’s that?” i turn my head to him with my brows furrowed, but a smile on my face nonetheless.

“movie night under the stars.” he smiles as he puts the car in drive and starts driving.

“you’re kidding right?”

“no, i’m not.” he reaches over and grabs my hand, lacing our fingers together and resting our interlocked hands on the center console.

--

we’ve parked in a field with the sunroof open.

i get out of the front seat and open the backdoor, crawling into the back of the van, lying on all the fuzzy blankets.

“how long did it take to set this all up?” i laugh as he gets in and lies down beside me, opening his backpack and getting out his laptop before pulling me into his arms.

“don’t even ask.” he shakes his head softly with a chuckle before he kisses my head and opens his computer, turning on our favorite movie before grabbing one of the many blankets and draping it over us.

we’ll talk for hours and lie on the backseat.

----

i sigh as i turn my phone back on.

maybe i’m being too paranoid. 

maybe he’s just busy, being famous is time consuming.

and then one random night

i try to refocus on the show that’s on my tv, for the 4th time. nothing’s working. why can’t i distract my mind long enough?

i only just sent the text.

maybe his phone’s dead.

when everything changes

no. i shake my head softly to clear my thoughts and i grab my phone and walk into my kitchen, placing it on the counter before walking back to the living room and switching the tv to a movie i’ve only seen but a thousand times just to rip my mind away from him.

you won’t reply,

and we'll go back to strangers.

----

my eyes light up when i look at the bouquet of red dahlias in matt’s hands.

“where’d you get these?”

“i kind of drove around for like 3 hours searching for a shop that sells them.” he chuckles nervously and scratches the back of his head.

“well, they’re gorgeous!” i look back up to his face to see the kindest smile on it, making his otherwise sharp features soft and kind.

“i’m surprised you still remember, i told you these were my favorite back in middle school.”

“of course i remembered. i always remember everything you tell me. i'll write them in my notes app or i'll go home and write them in my journal for me to go back to.” how does this man get any better? 

“i-” i’m speechless at the small confession, his words meaning more than i thought they would, making my heart flutter.

i take the bouquet into my hands and smell the flowers, smelling as good as the last time he got me them.

“do you want to take those with us, or do you want to set them in a vase first?”

“i don’t know, actually.” i chuckle and look back up at his face.

“here.” he grabs them from my hand and gestures for me to walk back into my house, him following in after me. 

we walk into the kitchen and i immediately spot the vase my mother got me for my birthday. i grab that and fill it with some water as matt sets the bouquet on the counter, unwrapping them and cutting the stems.

i set the vase in the middle of the island and matt carries over the flowers, placing them in the vase before grabbing one out and handing it to me.

“thank you matt.” i place one hand on the side of his face, pulling his face closer and kissing him.

“anything for my pretty lady.”

----

it’s been a few hours, maybe he’s replied?

i’m hungry anyways.

i get up from the couch and walk into the kitchen, grabbing out food and making me something to eat before picking up my phone.

i take a deep breath and turn on the screen.

nothing. great.

stop overthinking it. it’s probably nothing.

i open my phone and click on instagram, looking through everyone’s stories, matts popping up first.

it’s just a promotion of their new video.

that’s right, maybe he was filming and didn’t get to be on his phone.

---

!Matt’s POV!

i stare at the text on my screen for a little longer than i should.

pretty girl ♡: hey, i was wondering if you wanted to go out to eat tonight?

i just lock my phone and toss it next to me on my bed.

and then one random night

it’s not her fault, it’s mine. i just can’t be around her anymore.

we’ve already fought about it many times. im just helping.

when everything changes.

right?

she’s mad i don’t want to show her off, which is wrong. i want to. so bad.

but i don’t want her to get hurt.

but isn’t that what you’re doing to her now?

shut up.

all you’re doing is making her hurt more.

stop it.

it’s your fault if she shows up at your door crying and screaming.

that won’t happen.

yes it will. and it’ll be all your fault.

i said stop it.

you can’t get rid of me. not like you’re getting rid of her.

i’m not getting rid of her. i'm helping her.

like ghosting her is helping her.

you won’t reply

i scrub my hand over my face and sigh.

“fuck, fuck, fuck.” maybe this isn’t such a good idea.

there’s no going back now.

and we’ll go back to strangers.

Tags ! ✮

@dwntwn-strnlo ✮ @ssturniolo ✮ @strniolo ✮ @20nugs ✮ @prettysturniolo ✮ @mxqdii ✮ @thetriplets3 ✮ @slaysturniolo ✮ @gwenlore ✮ @opheliaofficial07 ✮ @gabbylovesreading ✮ @luvsturniolo ✮ @itsaaliyah2 ✮

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I love you all !

And I hope you all have a good day and / or night ✮

[before-it-felt-like-a-sin]

What I Want

summary: you were flirting with everyone at the party for fun. Definitely not because you wanted to make a certain blonde jealous.

Warnings: mentions of hookups and slight angst (nothing nsfw), smoking and drinking mentioned.

-----------------------------------------------------

"God, Jackie. You're so right." You brushed your fingers across your friend's arm, internally praying that Natalie was watching you.

You and Nat had been hooking up for a while. Just casually, something that stemmed out of boredom. You weren't close enough for it to be awkward, but you obviously weren't strangers. It was the perfect situation.

Until it wasn't.

In the past month, you'd found yourself actually falling for her. It's like a switch had flipped, and you saw her completely differently. Her husky voice wasn't just sexy, it was cute. You felt emotional when you kissed. And you fucking hated it.

You didn't do dating, you didn't do feelings. And you knew Natalie felt the same. That's why it worked.

"Y/n, are you even listening?" Jackie asked, snapping you out of your trance.

"What?"

"Y/n, please. If you're not going to pay attention, I'll find someone else to talk to." She made a move to get up, and you just let her. Clearly, this flirting thing wasn't gonna work.

Although, maybe you shouldn't just flirt with Jackie. Maybe you should flirt with anyone. That would have to get her attention. Right?

It was worth a shot, at least. But you were gonna need another drink before you could fathom flirting with anyone but Nat.

Shit. You had to stop thinking like that. Tonight wasn't about Nat. Tonight was about getting over her. By possibly getting under someone else.

Either way, you needed another drink.

-----------------------------------------------------

As you danced to some pop song in the middle of Lottie's living room with Shauna, you felt eyes on you. You looked up to see Natalie staring at you with an unreadable look on her face.

Looking away, you tried to focus on the way your hips moved to the beat.

I want the fireworks

You put your hands on Shauna's hips and pulled her closer.

I want the chemistry

With that, the two of you were so close you could feel the heat radiating off her body. You moved your hips in time to the beat, forcing Shauna to do the same.

I want that girl right over there to wanna date me

You kept trying to ignore the lyrics of the song, kept trying to force whatever was happening with Shauna.

"I'm gonna get a drink! Do you want anything?" You yelled over the speakers. Shauna just shook her head in response

That's what I want, there's nothing wrong with what I want, yeah yeah

With that, you ventured to the kitchen and poured yourself another drink. You couldn't remember if this was your fourth or fifth. Didn't matter. You'd be fine.

When you looked up, Shauna wasn't alone anymore. Now Jackie had taken your place, her arms where yours were mere minutes ago. You couldn't be upset, not really. It's not like you wanted Shauna. Or Jackie.

The Vodka didn't burn your throat anymore, in fact you could barely taste it. You took another sip, trying to look busy. You hoped that someone else would approach you, so that you could go dance with them.

"Hey, y/n." A voice came from behind you.

You turned around to see it was Van, with an exhausted looking Taissa in tow.

"Hey. What's up?" Your words slurred a little, and Van seemed to take note of that, but she didn't say anything.

"We're gonna head out. Did you still need a ride?"

"Nah, I'm sure I'll find one. Or Lottie will let me stay the night." You took another sip from your cup, trying to maintain composure as best as possible. You didn't need Tai or Van trying to convince you to leave now. You were going to have fun tonight, goddammit.

"Are you sure? I don't know if that's the best idea."

"Can a girl not have fun anymore? You're not my mom." With that, you walked away. You'd probably have to deal with a pissed off van in the morning, but that wasn't drunk you's problem.

You heard Van say something as you walked away, but you didn't quite pick up on what it was. Again, wasn't your problem.

That's when you saw her. Natalie. Leaning up against the wall, no, being held up against the wall. All while some random boy kissed her. And she was into it. Pulling him closer. You could practically feel the heat radiating off of them from across the room.

Fuck. This was supposed to be your night. And somehow, Natalie had made your plan into hers. You hadn't made her jealous. She was making you jealous. Fuck.

You pushed your way through the crowd to the sliding doors that led onto the porch. Stepping out into the cool night air, you took a deep breath. No one was outside now, seeing that it was near freezing. You were shivering in your jeans and cropped sweater.

Patting your pockets, you found what you were looking for. You pulled out a lighter and a pack of Marlboro Reds. There were only two left. You grabbed one out of the package and brought it to your lips. As soon as it was between your teeth, you flicked the lighter, attempting to get it to light.

You were so focused on the lighter that you didn't hear the back door open.

"Need help with that?" Natalie's voice startled you, and you damn near dropped your lighter.

"No," you said, your cigarette still in your mouth.

"Are you sure? Because it looks like that isn't working very well for you," she responded, nodding to the lighter.

"Fuck off. I don't need your help." You continued flicking the lighter, but it still wasn't working.

Natalie, content to watch you struggle for a bit, just stood there. Finally, she seemed to take pity on you.

"Here, seriously, let me."

"Fine." At this point, you wanted the cigarette more than you wanted to act like you didn't care.

She walked over to you and pulled out a lighter. You, expecting her to hand it to you, stuck out your hand. Instead,she cupped the cigarette with one hand, and lit it with the other. You shivered at the closeness.

When she was finished, she took a step back from you.

"Thanks," you said, exhaling smoke.

"Well, it wasn't out of the goodness of my heart. I was hoping you'd share."

"I'm not giving you my last cigarette."

"We can share this one." She looked at you expectantly.

You took another drag, hoping that if you were quiet long enough, she'd leave you alone.

"Dude, what's your problem? You're being hella weird." So much for hoping she'd leave you alone.

"I'm not being weird. I don't want to share."

"No, you are being weird. You're not inside with everyone else, you've had like five drinks when you normally stop at two. You were dancing with Shauna. You didn't leave with Van and Tai, even though you should've because you're fucking wasted. You didn't let me help you. You were going to smoke alone, which is so unlike you. Seriously, what is your problem?" She seemed so exasperated. And a little bit hurt.

"What does it matter that I was dancing with Shauna. She's my friend."

"That wasn't a very friendly dance."

"But it wasn't weird of me to dance with her. She is my friend. And I can dance with who I want. And I can drink what I want. And I can leave when I want. You're not my fucking girlfriend, Nat. We're just hooking up. You made that pretty clear by practically eating that guy's face." You took another drag of your cigarette.

"Oh, so that's what this is. You're jealous."

"Yeah, Nat. I'm fucking jealous. Because we've been hooking up for a month, yet you never even look at me unless we're alone. And I'd be fucking stupid, a fucking idiot to catch feelings, but I did. So yeah. I'm jealous. But that doesn't matter to you. Because we're just hooking up."

When Natalie didn't respond, you took that as your cue to leave. As you turned to leave, your eyes filled with tears, and you prayed they wouldn't spill over. You didn't know where you were going, you just knew you had to leave. You couldn't be at this party, couldn't be here with Nat.

It hit you that you didn't have a ride when you had made it about halfway through Lottie's giant house. Which meant you had to walk home. In the cold. Without a coat. While drunk.

At least Natalie wouldn't be there.

-----------------------------------------------------

It was fucking cold.

You didn't think it would be this bad when you left Lottie's. But it was cold. And you were tired. And it was dark. And your feet hurt. And you forgot your headphones.

The sound of a car engine pulled you out of your trance.

"Y/n, what the fuck?" Natalie pulled up next to you in her beat-up little car.

"I'm not talking to you."

"You don't have to. But you're not walking anywhere this late. Get in."

"No."

"Fine then. But I'm not going to leave you until you get home. And at least you'll be warm in the car."

"Leave me alone." You just kept walking. But true to her word, Natalie crept along with you.

"No."

"I don't want to talk to you. Or even look at you."

"You made that pretty clear when you just walked away earlier."

"Then why do you not seem to understand that?"

"God fucking dammit, y/n! Get in the car!" She was pissed now.

"I don't want your pity."

"It's not pity. Do you know how pissed Van would be if you got kidnapped because I didn't drive you home?"

"Oh, so you're not doing this because you want to do it."

"That's not what I said. You're twisting my words. Please, y/n, just get in the damn car. We don't have to talk. We can sit in silence. But just get in."

You were tired of fighting with her. Plus, your feet were really starting to hurt.

"Fine."

"Thank you."

She put the car in park, and you walked over to the passenger side. You opened the door and got in. Once you were buckled, she put the car in gear and started driving.

For the whole drive, the two of you sat in silence, the only sound coming from the radio. When she pulled into your driveway, she got out of the car with you.

"What are you doing?" You asked.

"Well, you're drunk as hell. And neither of your parents seem to be home. So."

"You don't need to baby me."

"Maybe I just don't want to go home."

You walked to the front door, hoping that she'd just leave you alone. But she didn't. She kept walking with you, and when you walked into your house she walked in after you.

"Why are you here, Nat? Really," you asked.

"Do you want the real answer?"

"Obviously."

"I'm trying to prove to you that you're not just a hookup to me."

You scoffed. "Yeah, right. Funny, considering what you were doing earlier."

"I was jealous. Jealous of Shauna. Jealous of Jackie. I wanted you to see me. So that you wanted me."

"Don't mess with me, Nat. It's fine, okay? I shouldn't have even said anything. You don't need to be here." With that, you turned to walk up the stairs, and promptly tripped over your own feet.

At the sight of you on the ground, Natalie let out a small laugh. But when she saw the tears in your eyes, she immediately walked over to you.

"Hey, y/n, it's fine. You're okay. Let's get you to bed." She grabbed both of your hands and pulled you up.

When she wrapped her arm around your waist to keep you upright, you didn't protest. You were just so damn tired, and you weren't sure if you'd be able to make it up the stairs by yourself.

After what felt like hours, you finally made it to your bedroom. It took all your strength not to just lie down on the floor and fall asleep there. Instead, Natalie led you to your bed and sat you down. She then started undoing the laces on your boots and taking them off for you.

"Why are you doing this? I've been nothing but a bitch all night."

"Because I like you, y/n. And I like spending time with you. Even if you are a bitch." With that, she finished pulling your shoe off and sat on the bed next to you. "Do you know why I started hooking up with you in the first place?"

"I assumed because I was there, and a little bit to piss Jackie off."

Nat laughed at that. "It wasn't that. Although pissing Jackie off was a bonus. But I hooked up with you because I thought you were cool. More than that, even. I wanted to date you. But you always had the whole 'hookups only' mentality."

"Yeah, but so did you," You add, a little confused.

"Oh, I'm not judging you. It's just that it's hard to have feelings for someone who is so opposed to dating. And since I only wanted you, I mean, I decided hookups could be for me too."

"Oh fuck off. Don't lie to me."

"Is it that hard to believe that I could want you?" She looks into your eyes as she asks that, as if trying to look straight into your soul.

"No comment. I'm going to bed." You could tell Nat wanted to press you, but she didn't. Instead, she got up off your bed.

"Where are you going?" You ask.

"Home? I mean you're going to bed. Why should I stay?"

"I thought you didn't want to go home. Plus, it's not safe for you to drive this late. Just stay. You can sleep here."

"If you don't care. That's fine."

"Clearly, I don't."

With that, you finally let yourself lie down. Getting comfortable, you buried yourself under your comforter and waited for Nat to come in with you. When after a few minutes, you still hadn't felt her crawl in next to you, you sat up.

"Are you going to come here?" You looked to see her lying on the ground.

"You're asking me to share your bed?" She responded.

"It's a king. Yes. I'm asking you to share. I know how big of a bitch you can be if you haven't slept right."

"Maybe I want to sleep on the floor."

"If you want to, be my guest. But I don't get why you would." You rested your head back on your pillow, acting as if you didn't care if she slept in your bed or not.

For a couple of minutes, it seemed like she really was going to sleep on the floor. Then you felt her familiar weight on the bed next to you.

"Goodnight."

-----------------------------------------------------

Three hours later, and you were still lying there, trying to fall asleep. Every move you made, you worried you'd wake Natalie up.

You look over at her, fast asleep. Her blonde hair was fanned out across the pillow, and her mouth hung open a little bit. Every so often she'd let out a soft sigh. She didn't look nearly as badass as she normally did. You'd never seen her like this before.

As slowly and gently as you could, you tried to get out of your bed. When you swung a foot over the edge, you felt her stir. You froze at the feeling, praying you hadn't woken her up.

"Y/n? What are you doing?" There went trying not to wake her.

"Nothing. I have to go to the bathroom. Go back to bed," you whisper in response.

She seems to be content with your answer and moves to go back to sleep. When she does, you get up off the bed so that you can make your way to the bathroom. You don't actually need to use it, but you didn't know what else to do.

For a few minutes, all you do is sit on the edge of the bathtub and think. Think about your night, think about Natalie. Think about how tonight, you were supposed to end up under someone else. Not next to the girl you wanted to make jealous.

But you did make her jealous. At least that's what she claimed. But you weren't sure. Natalie could literally have anyone that she wanted. Why would she choose you? The chubby lesbian who masked her feelings with an air of "I don't care".

God. This was confusing.

By now, it had been at least five minutes. Any longer and Natalie might think that something happened to you. Or that you were taking a shit. Honestly you didn't know which was worse. Either way, you moved to get up, bracing yourself on the cool ceramic of the bathtub.

When you made it back to your bedroom, Natalie seemed to have fallen back asleep. As gently as you could, you slid back into your spot on the bed. This time, though, you fell asleep almost immediately after lying down.

-----------------------------------------------------

You woke to sunlight streaming through your light green curtains, creating patterns on the wall and bathing the room in a pale sage light. For a moment, everything was perfect.

Until you realized that in your sleep, Natalie had rolled over so she was practically on top of you. There was no way you'd be able to get up without waking her.

"Nat... Natalie," you whispered, attempting to wake her gently. In response she did absolutely nothing.

"Natalie. Wake up." This time, you flicked her in the forehead.

She groaned and just buried her head closer into your shoulder, not seeming to realize what she was doing.

"Natalie, come on." It took her a few seconds, but this time she realized.

"Shit, y/n. Shit. Sorry." She immediately jumped away from you, and you shivered at the loss of contact. Her warmth had been nice.

"Don't worry about it. You were asleep. It's not your fault."

For a few moments, you both just remained in your bed, thinking. Neither of you spoke, until you could take it any longer.

"Did you mean what you said. Last night." You asked.

"Which thing?"

"About. I don't know. Having feelings for me?" Your voice was small, and you worried that you had imagined Natalie's words from the night before.

"What does it matter? I think you made it clear that you don't like me that way." She sounded hurt, and you hated that.

"I didn't say that. At all."

"Oh, so you're telling me that you like me, too?" Her tone was sarcastic, and you let out a breath at how mad she seemed.

"That's what I'm implying, yeah."

"What are you implying?"

"Do I really have to fucking spell it out for you?" Now it was your turn to be upset. Of course she was turning this into a game. Or course she was just making a joke of your feelings for her.

"Until you tell me what you want this to be clearly, I plan to act like I have no idea what you're talking about." She smirked at this, and it made your blood boil.

"Okay, Natalie. Fuck you. I'm done with this shit." You pushed yourself up off the bed and made your way to the door.

"Y/n, wait. I was just messing around."

"Yeah, messing around with my fucking feelings. Heaven forbid I have a crush on you. Heaven forbid you have any fucking decency. I get it. You aren't into me. That's fine. But don't make that more of a problem than it is."

This time, when you moved to open the door, you felt a hand close around your wrist. When you turned around, Natalie's face was inches from yours, your noses were almost touching.

"Nat-"

"Can I kiss you. Please."

Before you could even finish nodding, her lips were pressed against yours. Your hands moved to her waist, pulling her in closer, while hers cupped your face with a gentle touch you didn't know she possessed. She smelled like cigarettes, amber, and something you couldn't quite place. The mixture was intoxicating.

When she pulled away, a soft whine escaped your lips, and she grinned at the noise.

"Did that prove it to you, princess?"

"I don't know. We might have to try it again to really get it though my head."

She let out a small laugh at that and made a move to kiss you again, but before she could, your stomach growled.

"On second thought, maybe we should get breakfast."

[darksideofthemoonbot]

Slaanesh

As I previously covered my favourite chaos god, Nurgle, I thought I'd go on to my second favourite: Slaanesh. Not my favourite but the one I relate to the most. Fair warning, this gets personal and not especially amusing. Rather dark actually.

For context to start: I have chronic pain, fibromyalgia stemming from childhood trauma, since I was nine years old. I also have significant mental health issues for which I get therapy and medication. I have only been treated for the chronic pain for a few years, after about 27 years of literal constant torture by my own nervous system.

I understand obsession and chasing the next sensation. Of extremes of passion and self destructive indulgences. I self medicated in various ways for a long time. I am also, as I joke sometimes, a "recovering yandere". I've had times where I've become so obsessed with someone I only know online, that I spent the entire day staring at a message screen waiting for a reply, despite them probably being at work or otherwise busy; because interacting with them was the only thing that mattered and gave my life purpose. New sensations, greater sensations, were always needed to escape the torture chamber of my body.

On a lighter note: on to the circles of seduction

Avidity – I grew up in the 80s and 90s, when "greed is good" was really taking hold in public consciousness. Despite that, this temptation has rarely been much of a love of mine. I collect sins as a hobby but my desire for money has not generally been for money's sake, more on that later.

Gluttony – for so long, food was more an annoyance to me than anything. The suffering drowned out any enjoyment so it was merely a tedious habit I had to partake in to survive.

However! Now that I am getting treatment, I can enjoy things again. And the lack of familiarity with pleasure from food makes it so intense sometimes! Most recently I had a peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich on generic store-bought whole wheat bread. It was so good. Unbelievably good. My mouth tingled so much it tickled and I almost had to stop eating. The savoury all natural peanut butter, the sweet tang of the jelly, and the soft squishy texture of the bread. Oh dear gods it was heavenly.

Carnality – this seems to be what people first think of when they think of Slaanesh, which to people not on the ace spectrum is probably obvious. For a long time I thought I was ace. No interest, in fact I was hostile to the idea due to trauma. But trauma response is not the same as being ace, and it turns out I am not. Very not. Switch/vers, bi. And in a committed relationship of 24 years with a partner who has no complaints, heh.

Paramountcy – power, control, influence. These are a heady wine for many. I have considered running for local office, school board or something, with ambitions to perhaps state level. Not that I have the means, I am regrettably disabled and the demands of power are too much for me. Doesn't stop me dreaming. And thinking I am more worthy than others to wield such power. Perhaps foolishly.

Vainglory – remember greed above? This is where it gets me. I don't want money for money sake; I want it for all the good I could do with it. Buy and forgive debt. Start businesses that pay better and sell lower. Scholarships. Political influence to improve people's lives materially. Providing food to those in need free of charge. Building low/no rent but well maintained housing. Just do a whole lot of good with vast fortunes. Because then people will love me, cherish me, praise me for my largesse kindness. I will be invited to all the public events, have hospitals named after me, get messages of gratitude from all those I've helped. To be worshipped, in a secular way, for my use of my money. And yet remain rich, for after a certain threshold money compounds upon itself indefinitely.

Indolency – here's the circle where I die. I am... so tired. Decades of misery have drained me. Medications sap my energy even as they reduce my pain. I've had long swathes of time where I'd go to bed around 21:00 and sleep until 10:00. And then nap in the afternoon. Napping in fact was my chief hobby for many years. I didn't know relaxation until recently, as I was always tense; trying to hold myself up so less of me was pressed on a surface, because it hurt. I still struggle to relax and let a bed or chair hold me up without my effort. It is an alien sensation, frightful in a way, as though I will fall through the world if I let go.

The Palace of Pleasure – no line uncrossed, no barrier unbroken, no debasement too low, no extreme too high. Worry not, dear reader, I do in fact have scruples. But I relate to the notion well. After half a lifetime of senses dulled by endless unchanging aches and an unbalanced mind, I yearn. I yearn for all those experiences that many take for granted. The joy of a sandwich, the thrill of minor ambition, the softness of restorative rest. Pleasure. It isn't what I expected. I imagined pleasure as a passive feeling, a relaxation and untroubled feeling. A soothing of the pain, I couldn't imagine more. Yet it is more than that. It feels very much like the opposite of pain, an intense and sometimes stabbing sensation. A good one. Like a pain but you want to experience it. Pleasure can be so good and so intense, a mirror of what life used to be.

And I want more.

[bubblesandgutz]

Every Record I Own - Day 812: Willie Nelson Stardust

My father-in-law passed away on February 23rd after a long battle with Parkinson’s and various other ailments. Over the last six years, my husband and I made frequent trips down to central Oregon to check in on my in-laws and help out around the house. During some visits, it seemed possible that his dad would be around for another decade or more. And on other visits, we wondered if he would be around more than a few months. Things took a rough turn around Thanksgiving of last year and his health declined considerably. My husband spent most of January in Oregon while I’ve spent 2024 fulfilling tour obligations with three different bands and making trips down to visit them during any available downtime.

My father-in-law was a great guy. He grew up in the Bay Area and was around for all the excitement of the late ‘60s and early ‘70s. He was buddies with Pigpen from the Grateful Dead and attempted to go to the Altamont Free Concert but was stuck in the traffic jam when news traveled down the road about all the chaos and violence incited by the Hells Angels. He loved ZZ Top and Creedence Clearwater Revival and Tina Turner. But more than anything, he loved Willie Nelson.

Stardust, in particular, got a lot of spins around their house when I’d come to visit. In some ways, it’s odd that this was their Willie album of choice. After all, the ten songs on Stardust are all covers of old pop standards. Columbia Records was even hesitant to release it considering that Willie was riding strong on his outlaw country reputation at the time. But the album became a huge hit—a quintuple platinum album and a favorite among both fans and critics.

I won’t lie, I prefer Willie’s own songs, but the slow, sparse, and relaxed vibe of Stardust grew on me. I also appreciated how he chose songs with less conventional melodies (“Blue Skies,” “All of Me,” etc) and how his minimalist slow-hand style seemed perfectly suited to those compositions. The stretches of empty space, the chord changes that feel a little counterintuitive at first but then settle nicely into the larger song, the playful but rough-hewn quality to the vocals—it all has a hazy, late night, intoxicating vibe. I don’t even remember when I picked up my personal copy but it’s been a part of my collection for at least two decades.

Over the years, I heard less and less music at my in-law’s house. Television became the more constant companion, perhaps because the sound of people talking filled the conversational void stemming from the reclusive nature of my father-in-law’s disease. But when they began doing hospice at home back in January, they switched back to music. In his last days, we kept the stereo on throughout the day, switching between various CDs from their collection. I was occasionally tasked with picking out music, and I grappled with finding something that was familiar and comforting without running the risk of forever being tainted by the circumstances. Stardust was a family favorite but I never put it on for fear that it would render it off-limits once his father passed.

The hospice nurse called us on a Tuesday in February to say my father-in-law was near the end. He wasn’t eating or drinking and his breathing was labored. My husband and I drove all night hoping to make it to central Oregon in time to say goodbye. He was nearly unresponsive by that point, though he would squeeze your hand if you talked to him. Despite his condition, he managed to to hang in there for another week-and-a-half. In that time, I had to return to Seattle for rehearsals, then had to fly out to the East Coast for a weekend of shows, then flew back to Oregon, then had to fly back to Seattle to check in on a friend that was mentally struggling after being involved in a motor vehicle fatality involving an inebriated man that had been running across a busy highway.

The call came in the afternoon. My father-in-law passed peacefully. My husband and his mother had been listening to Stardust at the time, and he took his last breath during “September Song.”

The struggle was over. It had been a long decline and by the end it was hard to recognize the warm, witty, and vibrant man I first met nearly 26 years ago in the withered and incapacitated person we’d been tending to for the last few months. I was grateful to know my father-in-law for so many years, to have a stockpile of memories of him before things got so difficult. And in the weeks since he’s passed I’ve listened to Stardust a few times. The wistful nature of the album has an added element of sadness, but the memories of listening to it in happy moments outweigh its more recent association. If anything, “September Song” feels like an even more bittersweet reminder to savor the moment and hold your loved one’s close, because seasons change and all things must pass.

Oh, it's a long long while

From May to December

But the days grow short

When you reach September

When the autumn weather

Turns leaves to flame

One hasn't got time

For the waiting game

Oh, the days dwindle down

To a precious few

September, November

And these few precious days

I'll spend with you

These precious days

I'll spend with you

[iceman-kazansky]

Hi! I'd like to request a Webster x fem!nurse!reader one shot. Something about their first meeting after the war. They fall in love while Webster is in the hospital, but when the war is over they part ways, but he can't forget her and finds her home to see her. If you are not busy of course. Love you and your blog 💗

A Reunion Not Thought Possible

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

Pairings: David Webster x f!reader

Requested: By another lovely anon

Warnings: Uhh.. Mentions of Explosives, kissing? I think that's it.

Summary: When the war ended, you were hundreds of miles away, with no hope of finding each other after. Yet, here he is.

A/n: as much of my work, I don't like this one very much, and I feel like my writing style switched randomly. I hope you like it Anon 🥺

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

Like many, You remember where you were the day the war came to an end. At the time, you remember you had been bandaging up a nasty leg wound and applying a thick layer of gauze and a white bandage over it. It was then the news bearer came in, shouting and out of breath: “The war’s over! The japs surrendered!” before they were off to the next tent.

The celebration had been large, larger than any celebration you’d ever seen. There was drinking, lots of it, and someone had managed to get their hands on fireworks (or explosives, for you had only heard the story rather than witnessed it,) and had lit late in the evening.

It was even crazier when you arrived by boat to San Francisco, there were millions of people crowding the docks, welcoming the soldiers home. You remember setting your feet down on American soil again, you hadn’t been home in nearly 3 years, but it was such an odd yet wonderful feeling. To be home.

But of course, when the war ended, another relationship you'd never thought of how it'd work after the war, ended too.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

As of right now you were cleaning your house– could you believe it? You bought your own house after the war!– when suddenly, the doorbell rang.

Which was odd, because you weren't expecting any visitors. Although, it could just be the postman? Or something like that.

When you pulled open the door, you were met with a dashing but very familiar face. His mouth was open, as if he was going to speak, but nothing ever came. He stood there like a fool with no words to explain why or how. Something he'd later chastise himself for when he remembered the embarrassing incident.

Moments passed when you both just stared. One, too lovestruck to talk and the other? Too scared to speak in fear her words would make the man she never thought she'd see again disappear.

David finally snapped out of his reverie, "Hello," he spoke gently. Almost like he was talking to a wounded animal, afraid it might flee.

"Hi."

Did you not recognize him?

Davis rid himself of the thought, of course you remembered him, right?

With a shaky hand, he extended the bouquet towards you, "These are for you."

A smile stretched onto your face as you took the flowers delicately and retreated back into the house, leaving the door open while saying from the kitchen: "Come, sit down."

David removed his shoes and shut the door behind him when he entered. He followed you to the kitchen, watching as you filled a clear vase with water and clipped the stems off the flowers.

Webster observed from the doorway in silence, taking note of the way you practically danced across the kitchen, finally placing the vase on an open counter and turning around to face him, "Would you like a drink? I've got tea, coffee, or some water."

"I'll have tea, please." He responds absently. You don't realize it, of course, but his mind is trying to make a decision. He's still not sure if you remember who he was, but, Oh– he sure hopes you do. He can barely contain himself when he blurts, "Do you remember?"

Turning to look at him again, a quizzical look crosses your face before it returns back to a warm grin that makes his heart 'ba-bump' wildly in his chest. "How could I forget?"

David feels a smile pulling at his lips and a soft sigh of relief eludes him and he steps closer, nearly cornering you against the counter, “I had to come find you,” he says, “I just couldn’t live my life knowing we had something and never got the chance to act on it.”

“I’m glad you did,” Your voice is barely above a whisper when his hand reaches up to cup your cheek.

His eyes dart down to your lips. Subconsciously, his tongue darts out to wet his own lips as his eyes draw back to yours, “Can I kiss you?”

In a hushed tone, you answer: "Please."

Instantly, David closes the gap between your lips in a fiery kiss. His lips were molded against your own, passion flowing between you two.

The kiss was only broken off when he pulled away for a gasp of air, his forehead resting against yours, "I love you."

"I love you more," you reply

Nothing could describe how forever grateful you'd be that David did find you. In all honesty, you had thought there was never a chance of finding him again after the war ended. But how he did find you was a story for another time, one that would be discussed at a later date because right now all you wanted to do was hold and love David for he had found you. A reunion believed impossible.

[sunnylolli]

So in the US we get accepted into the whole school, not just a specific program. Then everyone takes the same general classes at first (writing, science, art, etc.) before picking what they want to get a degree in later. Because you can take any classes you want, so long as you still take the ones needed to get at least one degree, we have major and minor areas of study. So your major is what you get a degree in, but you can also have a minor in something else which will be added onto your major degree. So for example, someone wanting to go into biotech can major in computer science and minor in biochem. Didn't know if you were curious about what major actually means lol

It sounds wild, but hearing other countries' systems where u start full speed in a specific program sounds wild to me! I switched from engineering to heath in my 3rd year, you're telling me that outside the US I would've been trapped in engineering????

Also, the program you're doing sounds like the equivalent to co-op programs in the US. However, by law you still have to take the same amount of classes to get a degree because working doesn't replace the credits, meaning it takes longer than 4 years to graduate 😖

Ooo, thank you for explaining!

We actually already do that in Gymnasium (Grade 10-13, high school equivalent I think)

So in "High School" we had different "Lines" you could choose; Like "Global line", "Social Science Line", "Mathematics Line" etc., each with different mandatory classes and add ons you could choose yourself.

(Note: You could choose several different kinds of Gymnasium, each specialized within a certain category. E.g. Stem, Business, General Gymnasium, etc.)

I chose the general gymnasium and I chose to "major" in Mediascience and "Minored" in Psychology, while I had a set of classes I had to take, like Math, Danish, History, etc.

So what you're explaining I already sort of did that in Gymnasium!

Then for Uni, you apply for the education you want to go for, so Psychology, Stem, Pedagogy, and so on. I would've applied for a bachelor's in Psychology but my GPA isn't high enough for it, so I'm taking a backdoor :,)

Degrees are offered like that individually at the schools, so VIA university college is what I've gotten into, but I can't mix and match like I could in high school

At least not to the same degree, I can, in the third or fourth semester, choose a specific add-on class to personalize and specialise the education to fit me personally, but it can't stray too far from the actual education.

(I remember in gymnasium how absolutely bullshit hard it was to have to put my focus on so much all at once.

Like I had so many different things I needed to study for that I seriously barely made it through.

I had to juggle social life, self discovery, partying, school life, with tons of work. So Uni giving me more space to actually dive into something specific that I'm interested in and letting me speak to likeminded people who I (sorta) know have the same interest as me is a RELIEF.

Like I understand how it can feel claustrophobic, especially when you're used to something way different - But I find it like a breath of fresh air to not have to worry about ten different subjects all at once, but have all of them, in some way, be related to one another :,)

[evangelineshifts]

So the prompt i used was basically one where clarisse(clarisse la rue) accidentally shifts to a different reality for a brief moment. So when she ‘transports’ to Ancient Greek she’s actually shifting and remembering her past life briefly, because she is destined to be forever in love with her unrequited lover(me) and even after decades of reincarnation she will never get her happy ending with the only person she’s even fallen in love with because she offends the fates once centuries ago and the butterfly(you’ll understand in a minute) is something that stays the same because it is a reminder by the fates of her unhappy ending.

So this was the rough outline for the scenario, Clarisse is busy sharpening her spear while I’m busy making a flower crown near her. As a butterfly lands on my nose I start giggling but when clarisse turns to look at me she gets a flashback as suddenly she’s wearing traditional Greek clothes and our surroundings are a typical ancient Greek household, when she turns to me she sees someone else who’s eyes and dimples are the same as me, when she reaches out to touch the person within the blink of an eye suddenly she’s back in the future as the butterfly finally flies away I finish my flower crown and put it on her head, smiling brightly as I give her a hug.

And this is the final product, Clarisse fights a smile as she distracts herself from me by sharpening her spear absentmindedly, occasionally stealing glances my way to watch me pick the prettiest flowers to use. The cold air nipping at her nose as she silently wills for me to come back to her while the pain of unrequited love is squeezing at her heart, a bittersweet grin stretches across her lips as she breathes in the cold air. Finally she relaxes slightly as I walk back towards her, a handful of flowers in my grip as I sit down next to her and start braiding the delicate stems together. After a few tender moments of silence while we do our separate things together she swallows thickly, a nervous buzz making her hands sweat as her stomach flips. Before she could say anything she stops herself, a bright blue butterfly landing on my nose as I giggle at the feeling. Her heart stuttering while she tries to ignore how I was making her feel, she closes her eyes she silently wishes things were different, that she was the one dating me and not anybody else. As she takes in another breath her eyes furrow, the air around her felt different for some reason. Quickly opening her eyes she takes in the sudden change in her surroundings she looks around frantically, her comfortable cameo pants and camp shirt switched out with a traditional Greek dress, the silk swaying with each movement though the armor she was wearing on top of her dress made more noise. As she looked around the rocks and mismatched steps that used to be in the field were tall, beautifully carved doric stones, connected to a beautiful house. As her hand clenched she gripped her spear tightly, the sound of my laughter attracting her attention as she turns to look at me. Though whoever she was looking at sounded like me it wasn’t, though the eyes were the same and the dimples were in the same spot whoever this was it wasn’t me. Despite that she still felt the same way, a deep love for whoever this was putting a bitter taste in her mouth. Reaching out tenderly she ignored how her hand also looked different, her arms were buffer and her hands felt more firm. While she reached out for whoever this person was she heard herself speak, my name slipping out of her mouth as she felt her eyelids grow heavier. The longest blink of her life ensued as she finally opens her eyes again. Suddenly the air felt different again, the beautiful structure she saw before gone, in its place were rocks and mixed steps that looked faded. Her pants and shirt were back on her and her spear was still being sharpened, everything moved on like nothing happened as she swallowed, wetting her lips as she tried to go back to normal. Focusing on the vibrant blue of that stupid butterfly as she tries to relax, her eyes meeting mine as she barely registers the butterfly leaving. Watching quietly as I stand up and put my finished flower crown in her head, the flower petals glowing in the sun as I giggle at the dazed look on her face. Tenderly she blinks away her confusion as I give her a hug, her hands shakily hugging me back as she bites her lip quietly.

sorry if this doesn’t make sense😭

I love this so much 😭😭 I WANT TO KNOW HOW IT ENDS DOES SHE GET HER HAPPY ENDING?!? DO YOU END UP WITH HER?!? On a less manic note; your writing is amazing I love it. The way you write clarisse’s emotions during the flashback is so ✨✨✨ like it’s her girl and she feels the love but also it’s not so like ??? Mental cheating?? The mystery, the angst, the repetition of meeting and loving and losing in every timeline; I know this is for your DR but I would read the FUCK outta a fanfic like this. And you sound so cute 😭😭 the flower crown and the giggling it’s so light and fluffy 😊 it sounds like it could either be the most beautiful and persevering love story or the most gut wrenching. Idk what advice you wanted to ask but I love the scenario and I think it’s really creative ❤️❤️

[remrse]

hey, hey! cal here with what i'd like to call the less boring version of nate archibald — seo jaerim, also known as the golden boy who falls in love way too easily (but is it really love?) because he needs to fill this void in his life. he's also the moneybags skeleton in the gossipgate subplot. he's very much still a work in progress but i'd love to plot with y'all and come up with some fun stuff! i currently only have his dossier up but everything you need to know about him is under the cut. like this post and i'll come sliding into your ims, i'm also available on discord if that's what you prefer!

(trigger warnings: teenage pregnancy, coercion into abortion)

message: saw seo jaerim in seoul. they were volunteering at a children’s charity organisation. i think they’re a/n museum curator now? a lot of people say they’re kinda apathetic but they seemed super generous to me, tbh. they really look like nam joohyuk and remind me of nate archibald though wtf. thought you might want to know because i remember your post about them that said when he was in high school, he had gotten someone pregnant and coerced her into an abortion. still can’t believe that happened 8 years ago.

ask him why he’s a museum curator and he’ll tell you it’s because he has an eye for pretty things. paintings. women. art. that, and he’s the only heir to seoda museum of contemporary art—the louvre of seoul. seo jaerim was born with a silver spoon in one hand and a paint brush in the other. in his world of art, human beings are merely subjects of artworks; characters of his story. does he really love you or are you just pretty enough to look at, like the artworks displayed in his museum? set to inherit his family’s museum business, he has been working as a museum curator since he graduated snu with a degree in fine arts. everything in life is laid out for him, yet there’s a void impossible to fill; a loneliness in the shape of a monster that doesn’t die. does it stem from a long time guilt of destroying his very first creation before the world got to see it, or the constant chase for love and comfort in a world so brutal? some call him a playboy, but others say he’s too tender to be one.

summary:

only child and heir to his family's museum (think of it as the louvre of seoul; only the most prestigious and renown artistes can showcase their work there)

his family is very influential, especially in the arts, every other relative is an artist, curator, collector of some sort

every child born in the seo family would be sent for art classes, it is as important as learning the korean language

his family is very image-focused, often portraying themselves to be polished and sophisticated, people with refined tastes

they also think they are superior to others because they are "cultured" on top of their wealth

there were always only two pathways for him: to be an artist or to take over the family's business (it was always a career in the arts or risk being the black sheep of the family)

he had been painting since he was a child but figured he prefers the power of deciding who was good enough to earn a place in his museum, to have people cowering before him to exhibit their work at his museum

also he kind of just stopped painting after the whole abortion thing, because everything he created then was just a reminder of all the guilt and regret he had (might be the real reason he switched over to art curation)

he graduated from snu with a degree in fine arts

before that, he was from a private boys' high school near gyeonggi girls' high school

that is also how he got acquainted with the og's from the gossipgate video

the video did not affect him very much, or at all (his family paid off media outlets to keep his name out of the gossipgate news so while you could kind of make him out in the video, there is no real confirmation of him being in it)

what had a greater impact on him was gossip girls' post about him getting someone pregnant and coercing her into an abortion (his family were also the ones that had insisted on the abortion) — it's something that still weighs heavily on him till this day (i've left a lot of details undecided in hopes of someone taking on this connection!)

he never had issues with college acceptances because his family name guarantees him a spot in any art program (probably also due to nepotism because he has relatives who are art professors)

he has been volunteering at children's charity organisations but no one knows if it's his way of fixing his reputation or if he's doing it because he feels a sense of guilt towards his unborn child, or what could've been

he is really good with kids though (could be why women love him)

does not mean to be one but could be a little bit of a playboy, only because he has no fucking clue what love looks like so he's on a constant search for it

but is so sweet and gentle you gaslight yourself into thinking he isn't one

honestly really empty on the inside; desperately looking for that something that would light up his world, whatever it is

wanted connections:

gossipgate people! i'm here for rich kids fucking up each other's lives

lots and lots of exes: ex-girlfriends, ex-flings, ex-crushes, ex-almosts, whatever (basically, nate archibald's dating history)

an ex he had just broken up with would be fun too

fresh/new, ongoing love interests

the girl from his gossip girl post 8 years ago; the one he had gotten pregnant and coerced into abortion (i'm open to any interpretation of this — they could be ex-lovers, friends that hooked up, nothing is set in stone!)

someone who volunteers or has volunteered at one of the children's charity organisations he volunteers at

artists who has or wants to have their art displayed at his museum (he will not make it easy for you though)

the person that leaked his abortion secret to gossip girl

unexpected/unlikely friends (an opposites dynamic maybe?)

neighbours (he's currently staying alone in his bachelor's pad but i imagine it to be at some fancy apartment)

some sibling figures? he'd probably appreciate it, being the only child at home

[madamlaydebug]

⭐️this journey has revealed the necessity of focusing less on what people say, and getting more in tune with the energy behind it. and it is now deeply obvious to me that many struggle with insecurities that cause them to act ugly - likely stemming from a place of low-self worth. i know this because of my own struggles. do not be fooled - people can have all the material things, and still be DEEPLY insecure and unhappy, and it seeps out in their behavior🌟

💫my ultimate goal of 360 degree self-worth, entails more than pride around the ability to achieve. my work is based on not only the acceptance of every aspect of who i am, but also a commitment to the uncomfortable daily work toward unpacking and healing so that the whole of who i am shifts. this changes your entire experience of the world, because when operating from a place of clarity and healing, life is magic✨

⭐️when your are fully in your worth, you understand that you are inherently good. and you need not have, do, or be anything to be enough. this type of knowing minimizes low vibe activities that are an extension of insecurity, because your calibration is joy and peace🌟

✨specifically, people in their worth minimize, and ultimately eliminate, the need to:

🌟compete - NO ONE is perfect or has it all figured out. you have NO IDEA what people are dealing with and i can pretty much guarantee that if you had ALL the facts, you would not want to switch places with ANYONE. (remember: social media is a lie😊)

🌟 judge - spending too much time focused on what other people are doing is a distraction from YOUR work. everything that shows up is meant to encourage #selfreflection and #growth. mind your business and heal your sht!✨

🌟 be passive aggressive - there is no need to make slick comments when you feel good about yourself. healed people go within to figure out why they are triggered, rather than launch nice/nasty low key attacks on others💫

⭐️when you observe this behavior in yourself and others, have grace and see it for what it is. everyone is doing the best they can. go back to the lab 🥼🧪🧫 and continue to #heal and #grow.

[joestylee]

A Simple Guide to Understanding Men’s Business Casual

The most googled dress code for men is Business Casual. Why? Because Business Casual is the ultimate fashion paradox. It’s basically saying, ‘Be laid-back, but business like at the same time. ‘The average man’s mind goes, ‘How does that work? ‘How am I supposed to show that with an outfit?’ The confusion about what business casual attire means, stems from the fact that it is dependent on the type of organization you work for, the climate, the culture (i.e., company culture and geography) and the age of the employees.

What is Business Casual for men?

Business Casual is about mixing elements of formal business attire with elements of casual attire. Formal enough for a meeting but relaxed enough for drinks. To create business casual attire, start with understanding the elements of formal business attire.

The Components of Traditional Business Casual Attire (Understand the rules then tweak)

If you want to understand the present, look to the past. This saying also holds true for fashion. Knowing how formal business attire came into being, is essential to putting together a relaxed business attire. The traditional business attire consists of a dark matching suit and jacket set, white shirt, dark tie, white pocket square and dark shoes. Removing the elements or replacing them is how we create Business Casual. The easiest way to create a Business Casual look, is to take away the tie from the formal business attire or leave the tie but swap your suit jacket for a blazer. (Hint: Blazers are less formal). The matching trousers can also be replaced with chinos, khaki or wool trousers while keeping the original suit jacket on.

Traditional Business Attire

Business Casual Attire

The Evolution of the Suit

The suits’ origins can be traced to the Royal court in Britain when commoners were forbidden from wearing expensive furs and velvet. Not long after this law was passed, the outbreak of the plague known as the Black Death made Charles III, the then reigning King request that the courtiers tone down their dress to ward off disease. In response, the courtiers started wearing simple tunics and fitted breeches. Gradually, these tunics became more tailored and by the 18th century English nobility started wearing morning suits which slowly evolved from a casual hunting coat into the formal business attire that we know today.

Discern Your Company Culture

Many times, the dress code of the CEO will give you an insight into the company’s culture and the industry you operate in. If that doesn’t work, look around you to know. When I was working in a PR agency, the key accounts we handled though in the telecommunications industry, had events focused on media and entertainment. For Fridays, blazer and jeans was good for meeting up with clients but when I switched to a strategic communications firm which handled government and corporate accounts, jeans even on Fridays was no-no. If you absolutely had to wear jeans, they had to be black and chino-like. The moral of my story? Business casual means different things for different industries.

Remember the Goal

Your goal is to show social authority and mastery by properly interpreting dress codes. Clothing has always been used as a measure of class for as long as history itself. Being well dressed in tune with the codes shows you understand the unspoken language of fashion and this mastery can move you up the career ladder by distinguishing you, and allowing those in Senior Management notice you.

What situations call for business casual attire?

Apart from dress-down Fridays, personal events like going to your child’s end-of-school year party, reunions, and meetings; cultural events, exhibitions, fundraisers, lectures amongst others call for Business Casual attire. When in doubt, remember the rules more equals more. The more details a piece of clothing has, the more casual it becomes for men.

African Men Business Casual

Business Casual and the African Climate

For a long time, traditional African garments were not encouraged in the workplace, but this has changed. Today, the African men’s business casual consists of matching tunic and trousers set. A very versatile outfit made from suit fabric, which is worn for various occasions and can be dressed up or dressed down. Dressing down means swapping the matching trousers for plain black trousers and dressing up means adding other elements of African clothing like hats. Also, the tropical climate of Africa means that tunics are more comfortable and flexible than blazers or suits. Are you looking to buy ready-to-wear African men’s business casual? Shop Joestylee for versatile tunics and matching print sets.

Matching Set

Swapped Trousers

In conclusion, Business Casual dressing is about exhibiting good judgment, good taste and understanding your company's social orientation. Is your organization more formal or more business? Your answer should determine the tilt of your outfit. We welcome your ideas and contributions in the comments.

[terramcgarden]

Hitch hikers guide for Runaway animatronics. (Drabble)

So I'm still working on the main story (and beginning of it). But this idea kinda just wouldn't leave my head and I really wanted to write it. I'm checking but I apologize for the errors I miss.

Summery: It's been a month or two since You hit picked up your new companion(s). The relationship between the two AI's is about nonexistent and you want to help them. Maybe some child like wonder will do them some good?

The sun was setting. By this point you have pulled the blinds around your truck and lowered the lights. The shift between Sun and Moon have gotten better since the day you first met them. With a jerk and shift in color you're greeted with the darker half: Moon. He instantly glances at the time, something he does to gauge how much time you have before he forces you to sleep.

"You wasted no time switching us over I see. " He says still looking at the time. It was sunset outside, the sun should still be light enough out to have Sun but not enough to trigger their ecliptic glitch. He tilts his head to you curiously, red eyelights locked on you and bathing you in their soft red glow. "Yeah it's been kinda a busy day. A TON of driving and all. Ya know?" You beam back. Your smile was so bright you might as well be glowing yourself. He chuckles softly, amused by how gitty you get when your excited. "But I thought today was your day off. Surely you and Sun would have strolled around?" He inquires, obviously trying to bait you into revealing more of your day. More on Sun.

"Yeah sorta. We didn't feel like messing around with the wheelchair today. So instead I did something a little different!" You pull out your phone, scrolling through it. Moon glances down at his legs seeing that they are still not repaired. They finally agreed to get a busted wheel chair till they get their legs repaired. He concluded it must have been too much of a pain that day.

"Aha!" Moon snaps back up as you proudly hand him your Phone. It glowed softly with a blurred bright glow of browns and greens.

"Whats this?" He asks, just a bit confused, but sounding hopeful.

"I rented a normal car for the day and we drove to a park. Since you can't come out we video recorded it for you!" You say proud and excited for him to see. It sucks that when he's not out, he's completely shut out. Literally in the dark with what Sun does and vice versa. Small videos are their only connection to the other. They still haven't tried writing to the other yet.

Moon taps play and he's instantly greeted with his reflection. Sun.. He was swaying his head muttering to himself. "Whoops! Silly phone, no selfie video!" His bouncy voice rings from the phone. Moon visibly relaxes a bit, leaning against the seat. He almost touches the screen but stops, not wanting to pause it on accident. The camera flips and Sun laughs in triumph as he shows his dominance over this small brick of tech.

"There we go! Video has started Friend! Now tell me where we are and whats with these delightful cliffs!" Sun waves the phone over to land on you. You look a bit odd driving a normal car rather than perched up behind the wheel of your truck. You laugh and wave at the camera. "Awesome! Well Sun since we're driving past Utah again I thought this time I share with ya some of it's natural treasures."

The phone shakes while Sun waves and stems in excitement before remembering to keep the camera still. "Treasure?? Are we about to find some hidden gold?? I don't think Pirates got this far friend!" You laugh at that. "Nah no pirates, sorry pal, we'll do that later though. But, We're at Zion national park! It's known for its... well.... you'll see." The camera jiggles and Moon guesses that was Sun nodding enthusiastically.

The camera swings forward and it's shown that the car view is MUCH smaller than what he's used to. They may just have their thigh parts but it still looked fairly cramped in that rental. But Sun showed no complaint. Rather he can be faintly seen in the reflection swaying his face plate in delight. As they drove along Sun would move around with the camera showing mostly a rocky wall and trees that defied the horizon and grew wherever the pleased. The playful banter between You and Sun is all Moon really cared about. Hearing Sun talk, laugh, and joke. He was himself, not anxious, not mad, not even scared. He was his happy bouncing self again.

Soon enough the car had dipped into a dark tunnel, Moon should have came out but they came prepared. Turnning on a lamp they brought with them to Keep sun out as to not cause a sudden glitch. But it was worth it as Sun's reflection was much more prominent.

"Goodness friend, You sure it was okay I stay out? This is a perfect environment for him." The hand holding the phone tightens just a bit.

"No he wouldn't get to appreciate much. However there's some Natural caverns I would like to see if he can go through." You reply waving a hand to show a sudden break in the dark to show a small window of bright light.

"Besides, it be too painful for the two of you, let alone dangerous for flickering lights."

Sun hummed to himself understanding what you meant. "Yes, yes, you're absolutely right! We can't be endangering you!" He laughs and Moon curls into himself more. Finally there was a bright light ahead of them. "Oh! here we go! Sun aim the camera to your side!" You can be heard as Sun follows your instructions.

At first theirs only darkness and Sun's reflection. But it quickly glows up until they burst into the light. Both Moon, and the recording of Sun make a static sound that you have deducted was their way of gasping.

There was a drop on the passenger side with a railing keeping them safe. But beyond was a breath taking view of the many different layers of earthy tones stacking high up to form the Zion Utah mountains. The light castes over leaving shadows in just the right angles.. It was truly magical, and like a child Sun moved to press his face plate against the window, pressing the phone up against it as well.

"Wow.. Just- WOW! FRIEND! MY GREMLY FRIEND DO YOU SEE THIS!?! WHAT COLORS! WHAT BEAUTY! My stars I can't even begin to describe how INCREDIBLE this is!!" Moon couldn't help but chuckle at his other half's delight. The rambling went on and on and whatever you might have said was drowned out by the delight of the brightly colored animatronic.

"-Oh My what a wonderful treat! It's so..... I wish Moon could see this..." That last bit was soft whisper. It was never meant to be heard by anyone. But the Phone managed to pick it up. Moon stiffened upon hearing his name. Any audio he's ever heard where Sun referred to him, it was always "He...Him... the other..." Never his name. Static came out of his voice box as he lowered the phone and his red lights go out.

You panic scrambling over to him. Oh shit did he short circuit?? You put your hands on his shoulders and shake him gently. "Moon? MOON!? No no man please don't do this- AH!" He suddenly boots back on, he sits up and looks down at you. Their face plates were stuck in a permanent smile, and yet.. This smile felt genuine. He raises his arms to ask for a rare hug. You waste no time leaning in where your pulled into the passenger seat next to your Lunar friend. Static was thick when he spoke, like a radio slightly out of tune, but you could hear him.

"Thank you my friend..... That.... was a nice surprise..."

You spend the rest of your evening hugging your friend as he needs the rare comfort, humming him a soothing lullaby.

@lets-zofifi-stuff gonna tag ya since I know you've been waiting for something!

[lol-im-done]

The Avenger & Baron of Sokovia: Part Two

Part One

Hi! Here is part two, I honestly got carried away again and will do a few more parts to this! Enjoy!

Those five years were a deep slumber somewhere in the cosmos but you didn’t dream. You were barely conscious, no concept of the time that had been passing by. When you ‘blipped’ back there was no moment to reunite with Helmut, it took you a few moments to regain consciousness. In the chaos you had been dragged out from your chair by security, crying out for Helmut completely confused by what had happened. Helmut looked like he had seen a ghost, not quite believing he had seen you reappear from thin air. It wasn’t until someone had mentioned it in passing what happened did he actually believe it and it made him crazy that you had slipped out of his reach just like that. In the utter chaos that had been caused by the snap of the Infinity Gauntlet, you remembered the portal opening in front of you on that chaotic street, people screaming and running around you. Through the golden sparks you could see Steve, standing there bloodied and beaten on the battlefield and when he caught your eye you could see the relief spread through his face. Without a second thought you jumped through the portal to join him, hands ready and eyes bright green with power. All you knew is that you had to be by your team's side. You hadn’t been there to fight in Wakanda but you were going to make damn sure you gave it all this time. Even in your civilian clothing you fought with such fervor that a suit of pure telekinetic energy covered your body. Waves of your power brought down hundreds of enemies, and in a split second you had used your abilities to bring Thanos to his knees giving Tony enough time to take the Infinity Stones. That was the last time you saw him alive, barely managing to bid him goodbye.

In the aftermath you found out that Natasha hadn’t made it and you felt like you had fallen into a pit of despair. Regret burned deep in your soul, you should have been there with them, gotten a chance to see one of your oldest friends one last time. What happened next was perhaps the most surprising thing out of all of this.

“He wants to talk to you,” Sam murmured as he passed by you, holding Steve’s shield. Taking a deep breath you made your way over to the old man on the bench.

“Steve?” you asked tentatively. He turned around with a gentle smile.

“(Y/N),” Steve said, tapping the seat next to him. Sitting down next to him, he took your hand into his. What were once the strong calloused hands of a soldier were now signs of old age but they still comforted you.

“I know you retired after Sokovia-,” Steve began.

“Steve I’m sorry for abandoning the team,” you cried out unable to stop yourself, tears gathering in your eyes but he shook his head.

“We understood why you did it (Y/N). Tony, Thor, Natasha, Bruce, all of them understood. What matters is that you were there with us to fight one last time. You’ll be one of the few original Avengers left,” Steve said solemnly. “With that comes responsibility. I know how much Sokovia affected you but you’re stronger than you think. I can’t make you lead what's left of the team, you’re going to find your way in the world but I will ask you one thing,” Steve continued.

“Anything Steve,” you gulped.

“Take care of Bucky. He might not ever forgive me for what I’ve done but I need to make sure he’s taken care of. Look after the others as well. We often lead lonely lives and right now more than ever you all need to support each other. Can you promise to do that to the best of your ability,” Steve finished. His words stunned you but Steve was right.

“Don’t you worry about anything Steve. I promise,” you promised giving him a hug, the familiar scent of his cologne filled your nose. That would be one of the last times you saw him.

Trying to find your place in a world that had moved on without you was proving more difficult than you thought. As a past member of the Avengers, it fell onto your shoulders to try and regain some control, to help and advise alongside Rhodey and Sam mainly. The government had decided to keep a close eye on you as well, you were enhanced and in this new world you had come back to they seemed to not trust you the same way as before. You had even been sucked into Wanda’s Westview anomaly when you had tried to help her out after Tony’s funeral. Through all of this you hadn’t returned to see Helmut, the fact that he was still alive and well in his cell a small reassurance. You had been making plans to see him again, your plane ticket booked for Berlin but your paths would cross sooner than you thought as a knock on your door made you get up from your desk one day.

“Hey,” Sam greeted when you opened the door. Behind him was Bucky who gave you a sheepish smile and wave. He was still a bit nervous around you but you had made it a point to see him as regularly as you could taking your promise to Steve incredibly seriously. You had been the one to make sure he got mandated therapy sessions as part of his pardon.

“Sam! Bucky!” you smiled, ushering them into your apartment. Bucky was a bit surprised when you pulled him into a hug but he accepted it. After feeding them some lunch and catching up you got down to business.

“You need my help don’t you,” you stated, crossing your arms with a small smirk. Sam and Bucky exchanged a look before Bucky scarfed down some more fries.

“I know you put your superhero life behind you (Y/N) but you’re the only one I thought of to help us with this,” Sam explained.

“Where to?” you asked.

“Berlin. We have to talk to Helmut Zemo. You remember him right?” Bucky asked. At his words your heart stopped, eyes going wide. They wanted to talk to Helmut?

“(Y/N)?” Sam asked, eyebrows crinkled in worry. Memories of Helmut flooded your mind for a few seconds.

“Yeah I remember him,” you whispered, holding a hand to your chest to steady your heartbeat.

“Wait, you visited him a few times right?” Sam asked, remembering what Steve had told him years ago.

“Well- um more than a few times,” you shrugged, turning away to hide your blush.

“Care to explain?” Sam crossed his arms.

“Let me pack and I’ll explain on the way there,” you sighed. Sam nodded and got up to help you, Bucky staying at the table staring at the framed picture of you and Steve, his heart clenching in nostalgia.

“Why can’t I go in with you?” you frowned, feeling increasingly agitated. Bucky sighed and pulled you aside for a second in the white hallway.

“Don’t tell Sam but you’ll have your chance to see him after this I promise,” Bucky whispered. Pressing your lips tightly together you nodded slowly, understanding his words.

“Everything good?” Sam asked.

“All good,” you murmured as Bucky followed the guard down the long hallway into the maze of the prison. It had been so long since you had been here but everything was familiar to you, you could probably find your way to Helmut’s cell blindfolded. It took every ounce of willpower not to go in running after Bucky to see Helmut. Sam watched as you chewed on your lip, foot tapping in anxiousness.

“Why do you call him Helmut?” Sam suddenly asked. You turned to face him in a surprised manner.

“Because that’s his name?” you tilted your head, confused by his question.

“We all call him Zemo but you call him Helmut. It's more personal,” Sam stated.

“Like I explained on the plane....we got close. Like friends after all that time I came to visit him. It stemmed from Sokovia really but I got to understand him and he understood me too,” you whispered, emotion filling your voice. Sam decided not to press it but he was still confused on why you had decided to get so close to the man who had divided the team so horribly. You asked yourself that same question but as time went on with Helmut you could tell he was seeing things from a new perspective. He had even planned on asking Steve to meet him when he was no longer on the run, to talk and ask for forgiveness. Suddenly the door at the end of the hall opened and Bucky walked calmly back to you and Sam.

“C’mon I have somewhere for us to check out,” Bucky said, leading you all out. It felt nice to feel the breeze and walk around like a tourist again, your arm tucked under Bucky’s. He had changed a lot since you had first met him, feeling comfortable enough around you to accept physical affection. It was like having a brother, much like Sam, two brothers you had to keep an eye on at all times you thought with a smile. Finally you reached a large garage filled with darkness.

“Careful,” you warned Sam, pulling him back before he smacked his face into a metal anvil. You used your powers like a candle to illuminate the area until Bucky found the light switch.

“Why are we here?” you asked Bucky who gave you a knowing look. Is this what he meant earlier, about seeing Helmut soon? Your heart sped up a bit as you looked around ignoring Sam and Bucky’s bickering.

“What are you talking about? You wanna break Zemo outta jail?” Sam asked incredulously.

“We have no leads, no moves, nothing,” Bucky countered.

“What we have is one of the most dangerous men in the world behind bars,” Sam snapped.

“And we also have eight Super Soldiers that are loose,” Bucky replied.

“Zemo's gonna mess with our minds. Especially yours. No offense,” Sam shook his head.

“Offense. Super Soldiers go against everything he believes in. He is crazy, but he still has a code. Anyways if what (Y/N) said is right then he’s not as crazy as he once was,” Bucky tried to reason. Suddenly there was movement by the garage doors and you felt the air leave your lungs. The moment he walked in you wasted no time in running towards him, ignoring Sam’s protests as you crashed into Helmut’s open arms. Tears gathered in your eyes as you held him like he was a life raft in an ocean working to drown you. You hadn’t realized you had started crying until Helmut was softly comforting you, stroking your hair. Finally you pulled back, Helmut’s arms still encircling your waist.

“I’m so sorry,” you cried but Helmut shook his head, wiping the tears from your red cheeks.

“Don’t apologize miláčik. None of that matters now,” Helmut smiled, through his own tears feeling a relief so strong it almost made him fall to his knees. Sam and Bucky were stunned at what they were witnessing, they knew you had history with Zemo but never knew the reality of your relationship. To be honest you didn’t know what your relationship was but there was a connection, there was something and you could see it in his eyes. But there was no time for words, Sam had made it clear you had to leave now. Every moment from that garage to the moment you were up in the air in Helmut’s private jet, you were attached to his side like a magnet. Helmut had been so touch starved, he had resigned himself to the fact that he would never touch your smooth skin while he was incarcerated but now having you with him, he didn’t want you far from him. It was clear how protective you were of him as well, when Bucky had lunged at Helmut with his metal arm, a wall of green energy erupted between them making Bucky bounce back and fall into his seat.

“Enough,” you snapped, giving each of them a stern look before relaxing. “Helmut please refrain from pushing their buttons. We are here for one thing and we have to work together. Please for me,” you asked. Helmut sighed but nodded, muttering an apology to Bucky. With a satisfied smile you reached across and held Helmut’s hand, feeling him relax into your touch. You couldn’t stop smiling and it made Sam a bit nervous, seeing you so happy around a criminal like Zemo. Soon the conversation turned a bit more serious.

“You must have really looked up to Steve. But I realized something when I met him. The danger with people like him, America's Super Soldiers, is that we put them on pedestals,” Helmut began.

“Watch your step, Zemo,” Sam warned.

“They become symbols. Icons. And then we start to forget about their flaws. From there, cities fly, innocent people die. Movements are formed, wars are fought. You remember that, right? As a young soldier sent to Germany to stop a mad icon. Do we want to live in a world full of people like the Red Skull?” Helmut went on in his tangent.

“(Y/N)’s enhanced. Why don’t you hate her?” Sam asked sarcastically. Zemo’s eyes hardened, eyes flickering over to you as you waited for his response.

“In the time I spent speaking with her my views have shifted. I no longer see things as so black and white. There is a grey area in these matters, nuance,” Zemo admitted. You couldn’t help but smile slightly at that, he had changed.

“There are threats, people who regardless of super serum or mutant abilities are up to no good. If this has to do with HYDRA we have to end it,” you said. That seemed to shut the door to that conversation, Bucky nodding at your words. Before Madripoor you all made a stop to rest in Hong Kong. Helmut had gotten a reservation at a luxurious hotel for the night but none of that mattered to you all you wanted was time to speak with him properly and a hot shower. As you waited alongside Bucky and Sam in the lobby wondering what the sleeping arrangements would be, heat rushed to your cheeks when you heard Helmut get the room keys for only two rooms and his intention became clear when he took your hand into his in the elevator. Bucky looking at your intertwined hands a bit like a brother would seeing his sister with her new boyfriend. The elevators opened and before you could walk off with Helmut to your room at the end of the hall, Sam grabbed your arm gently.

“Wait you’re sharing a room with him?” Sam asked in a hushed voice, still not trusting Helmut.

“Of course I am,” you replied with a questioning tilt of your head.

“She’ll be fine Sam,” Bucky murmured, opening the door to their room so Sam could follow him in. Sam pursed his lips but nodded as you gave Bucky a grateful smile.

“Goodnight Bucky. If you need anything you just shoot me a text,” you waved. The door closed behind them, Helmut quiet at your side as he led you to your shared room.

“A text?” Helmut asked casually as you entered the grand room. Walking over to the bed you sat down, relishing in the feeling of the bed.

“Yes. Bucky experiences nightmares from time to time as one would having experienced the trauma he’s been through. I always make sure I’m there in case he needs to talk to someone,” you explained, reclining on the comfortable pillows.

“Why?” Helmut asked, as he took a seat on the other side of the bed.

“Because he’s my friend. I also promised Steve to look after him, to look after all of them,” you murmured.

“Is that why you didn’t come back?” Helmut whispered. Slowly you kicked off your boots before you curled up into the pillows, facing Helmut.

“I wanted to but after fighting against Thanos I had to catch up on the past five years. I got stuck in Wanda’s alternate world, I had to try and make my own way with the government breathing down my neck,” you began. Helmut nodded in understanding, he couldn’t blame you. “If Steve were still here or Nat or Tony they would have led us all through it but the rest of us had to figure it out,” you sighed. Helmut curled up on the bed as well as he reached across to stroke your cheek. Looking into his handsome face you felt warmth fill your body, those warm brown eyes you missed so much.

“That day that I disappeared I wanted to explain something to you,” you said a bit nervously. Helmut kept his hand on your cheek in a reassuring manner. “I know I should hate you the way that you hated us after Sokovia but after spending time with you I found myself doing quite the opposite,” you admitted. Helmut stayed silent allowing you to continue, his eyes full of emotion.

“I’ve fallen in love with you Helmut. When I came back after all those years I was scared you never felt the same in the first place or that you weren’t ready to feel the same-,” you began to ramble but were cut off by Helmut rushing forward to capture your lips into a heated kiss. After years of waiting and hoping to have you in his arms Helmut couldn’t wait another second to feel your soft lips against his. Breaking for air he pressed his forehead against yours, eyes closed with overwhelming emotions.

“Watching you disappear in front of my eyes with no way of stopping it, was one of the worst pains of my life. I’ve lost my family already once before and I didn’t think I was going to survive that and after five years of waiting, thinking of nothing but you, I didn’t think I was going to survive that either,” Helmut admitted sadly. “Those months after Sokovia I was already falling in love with you before I was consumed with vengeance. I love you miláčik,” Helmut finished. It was your turn to kiss him which quickly turned into clothes coming off, breathless whispers of love and cries of pleasure filling the room. As you cuddled into his bare chest you pushed away any anxiety riddled thoughts of him returning to prison and simply appreciated having the man you loved in your arms.

Tag List: @hollmarch @lam-ila @anxious-alto @sagyunaro @thenewlarislynn @booklover2929 @husherstan @breadsquash @x-ximenas

[the-cult-of-russo]

Hi!! So i just read your billy headcanon about him and reader arguing and it was so good! I loved how thorough you were and i liked how the stages are so accurate to his personality! What do you think him and reader would argue about?

Once again, my brain is total chaos. It's my chaos and I understand it but trying to get it down for others to make sense of makes my head hurt lmao

First of all, I'm gonna do two sections. One for things that Billy would start a fight over, and one that you'd pick a fight over. Basically, things you do to upset him enough to cause a fight and then things he'd do that upset you enough to cause a fight.

If you haven't seen my other headcanon about how Billy acts during a fight, find it here. I reference his Stages of Rage in this so it'll make sense if you've read it.

Also remember this is my Billy.

-

Billy:

Billy can be impulsive and he has a temper. That being said, he's learnt really well over the years how to push it down. He's got good at stuffing his anger in a box and dealing with it another time somehow. Sometimes people wouldn't even know just how pissed he is. Yet with you, sometimes you do things that drive him to the brink of insanity and he finds it hard to deal with it.

The thing with Billy is, any negative emotion turns to anger. He doesn't know how to cope with it otherwise. And the things you'd do to cause him to fight with you don't actually make him genuinely angry. They've made him upset, hurt, or scared. All feelings he loathes to feel and they morph into anger instead.

The first thing that would cause him to fight with you is jealousy. Its not that he doesn't trust you because he does. He trusts you explicitly. But for all of his outward bravado and confidence, he has a lot of deep rooted self worth issues stemming from his childhood. Those disgusting feelings of not being good enough, of not being worthy of love or happiness, of not being wanted. All of those have been buried down inside of him yet you seem to bring them out kicking and screaming.

He's terrified of you leaving him. He finally has something special, worth every bit of pain he's suffered. He's finally found happiness. He feels like he's got to cling onto you desperately, fingers bloodied as he clutches you so hard like you might float away the second he let's up.

So when you and Billy are out with friends and you go up to the bar, he watches you with a dopey smile because he can't help it. But it gets wiped off his face the second some asshole approaches you. He knows it's ridiculous when the green eyed monster rears its head, he knows because although you smile at the man, it's tense. It's a polite but awkward smile as you shake your head and clearly tell him you're not interested.

Yet Billy's chest hurts. Because what if you see something in this man you don’t see in him? What if this guy is the one who steals you away from him? What if this is when you open your eyes and realise how worthless he is and you leave him?

He's aware his brain is being overdramatic yet he can't help the anger building inside of him. The defense mechanism of turning his pain and terror and sadness into something he can deal with.

And he doesn't want to cause a scene around all of your friends. So he goes the rest of the night being quiet and a little distant. You know somethings wrong and have a good idea what. But Billy suddenly feels miles away.

As soon as you get home, he let's it loose, unable not to. It sometimes starts with The Snark, passive aggressive comments about the man at the bar and how you should have gone home with him. 

But he gets angrier.

Because you don't get it. You tell him nothing happened and that he's being stupid but you don't fucking get the agonising fear that's crippling him because he's not good enough for you. So The Loudmouth stage begins because if he's wounded, he's gonna wound you right back.

But somewhere along the way you see through the anger. You see the pain in his glossy eyes, hear the tremor in his voice. Suddenly you hear everything he isn't saying. Instead of yelling at him that he's being dramatic or stupid, you switch tactics. You reassure him. You tell him he's the only one for you and you soothe his wounds by trying to get him to see that.

Although he still doesn't believe it, he likely never will, it does bring him back to earth. And of course he says sorry for the remarks he made but you know he was only lashing out because he was hurting.

-

The other thing that will get him to fight with you is also because of fear. If you put yourself in situations where you could possibly get hurt, even if it's something small like walking home in the dark, he flips his shit. He hates it, doesn't understand why you'd be so reckless. And while sometimes he's being overboard with it, too overprotective, he doesn't see it that way.

Billy's been through a lot, seen a lot of shit, done even more. He knows how dark this world gets. So if you ever put yourself in danger, even a small bit by being reckless, you're damn right he's gonna lash out at you. He goes through every stage of rage (except the last) if you try and defend your actions because he can't fathom the fact you aren't seeing his side with this. Why you won't let him just protect you. If he had his way, he'd put you in a bubble to keep you safe.

-

Other than that, there isn't much else you do that causes him to really fight with you. He's not petty. He's not the type to pick a fight over mundane stupid shit like you leaving your clothes all over the bedroom. Even if it does annoy him since he's such a neat freak.

Anything that you do that elicits those awful negative emotions are what gets to him.

-

You:

Billy's flirting is certainly a bone of contention. And while it doesn't happen often and it's never really serious since you two got together, sometimes it slips out of his mouth like it's second nature to him. Because it is. An example of this is at an event. He pays a flirty compliment to a senators daughter thats been eyeing him. He doesn't even know he's done it, doesn't seem phased until he sees your face. But he's at work, important business and schmoozing to do and he doesn't want you to cause a scene.

But waiting until you get home only annoys you more. It was an offhand comment and you know deep down he didn't mean it. But it still hurts you because he's with you. And you knew damn well if you did that to him he'd lose his shit. But you patiently wait until you get home, giving him the cold shoulder the whole way. And he knows what's coming. It's happened before.

But the thing with Billy is that he gets defensive if he feels backed into a corner. So when you whirl on him the second you get home, he pushes right back. He thinks you're blowing it way out of proportion and honestly, if you'd approached him calmly about it, he'd apologise right away and tell you he'd do better. But the fact you’re yelling at him has his back up so he can't seem to find it in himself to see it your way at all.

At first you don't tell him the real reason why it hurt you. You're just pissed. But as the argument unfolds you blurt out why it stung so much and his anger gets sucked right out of him. He watches you, devastation on his face as he realises you don't feel loved enough, that you think he'd go behind your back, that he'd find someone else. That notion is absurd to him, like he'd ever do such a thing when he has everything he ever wanted with you. But knowing he's hasn't shown you enough how much he cares wounds him deeply.

So he comforts you, promises he'll make it up up you and it won't happen again and he makes sure to make time to make you see just how much he loves you and only you.

-

Another thing that tends to get you upset at him is Anvil. Billy works a lot, too much most times. The amount of times he's coming home when you're already asleep or has to cancel plans with you starts to weigh on you. Building up until you explode about it.

But once again, Billy feels backed into a corner. Anvil is way more than just a company to him. It's a physical manifestation of how far he's come in life. It's proof that he's come all this way and he's done it all on his own. Anvil is like his baby.

And if it ever came down to picking Anvil or you, yes he'd pick you. But deep down he might end up resenting you for it. Because Anvil is an extention of him and his work makes up who he is. You knew this when you met him. It starts to feel like you're trying to change him and that gets right under his skin. Because if you want to change him, then you don't love him as he is. And that shit hurts.

He's already tried his best to placate you over Anvil. He works less, only staying late if its imperative he does and he tries his best to make time for you. He knows it's hard and he's away more than you'd like but he's fucking trying. So it feels like a smack in the face when you do this, like you can't see how much he's ready done to try and make a life where he can have both.

He works hard to keep the company the best it can be, he has to. But he also works hard for you. Because one day he wants to buy a big house and possibly fill it with children with you. He wants to show you the world and give you everything you've ever wanted. So it makes him feel unappreciated.

He feels stuck between a rock and a hard place every damn time this argument comes up because he doesn't know what else to do. He's trying his hardest to juggle Anvil and you and sometimes it feels like you're making it hard for him. He can't change who he is and if you can't handle it then it kills him. Because he knows if you can't deal with it then eventually you'll leave and he thinks he might just die if that happens.

These arguments get explosive because of all the emotions it makes him feel and sometimes you don't speak for days after. Both of you miserable as you miss the other. Deep down you know he's trying his best and you feel bad because you know how much these fights upset him. Eventually you apologise. You knew Anvil was his world before you met, knew how hard he worked. You don't want to change him and if you're honest with yourself, he's done a damn good job of making sure there's a place for you in his life. And maybe you never imagined you'd settle down with a workaholic, to miss them all the time, but it's worth it.

-

The last thing is how Billy's past seems to have a way of haunting you both. You were well aware of his nature before you met, he'd been pretty upfront about it. But sometimes it's hard when you're at an event with him and one of his past one night stands are there or you both run into one in the street.

This doesn't cause a full blown argument. If anything it's more one sided and Billy soon learns you've been taking tips from his Stages of Rage handbook when you use The Snark on him. You can't help it. The bitter jealousy that creeps in. But he doesn't fight back because for once he's a little ashamed of his past behaviour. He never wanted to settle down, didn't see the point. But that's because he hadn't met you yet. But now he sees your face everytime he's approached by a past lover and it hurts him. It makes him worry that you'll leave him one day.

So he accepts the anger and passive aggressive comments you throw at him because he feels like he deserves them. But his unwillingness to fight back has you sobering up pretty quickly. Because you know realistically it's not his fault and you can't hold his behaviour from before you even met over his head. It comes from insecurity and its not fair to lash out at him. And you hate how sad he seems when you do this to him. So you say sorry and make it up to him.

-

The last thing I'll touch on is his last Stage of Rage that mentioned in my other post. The Snowstorm. I said how this meant you'd done some really bad. Like maybe even break-up bad. This is where he turns off his emotions because you've hurt him that much. I wanted to give an example of what might cause him to do that.

The biggest one of course would be you cheating on him. It would be a knife right through his heart. He'd want to forgive you for the fact he loves you more than anything but betrayal isn't something he takes lightly. Couple that with him already having self worth issues and feeling not good enough for you and you have a very broken Billy on your hands.

Maybe in time he could move past it after some separation and a lot of thinking. But this would be the worst thing to happen to him.