#relayed this to my mum and she thought it was very funny

[beaft]

every time i tell my mum about a personal difficulty i've faced due to being trans she's like "well you can't complain, you chose this" and i'm like. alright. technically true, i suppose, but also not the most tactful or helpful thing you could have said in the moment

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 7

chapter 12:

1. LILY EVANS MENTION!!!!!

2. god i’m so worried about what’s gonna happen to wolfstar when the games are over. they deserve a lifetime together

3. the snake, jesus christ. i’d flip off the game makers too

4. crimson rivers and just lovers peter >>>>>>>

5. god, peter is so sensible and reasonable and i love him so much

6. 😧 the avery spider. what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

7. james, darling, love, stop telling all the people you like the location of the cave. you cannot save everyone. their death will be inevitable. you’re going to hurt your soul like this

8. “Frankly, Regulus looks like he's been through Hell. He's absolutely gorgeous.” jesus christ. and with a knife pressed to his throat. he is NOT toning down his horny rn

9. “"You're hesitating, love."” FUCK YEAH THE FAMOUS LINE

10. 😧😳😳 not the bondage joke james makes at reg. holy shit- no chill

11. james had a knife to his throat twice in this chapter. he is living the high life

chapter 13:

1. “James has always been that infuriating mixture of wonderful and stupid, for as long as Regulus can remember.” yes, that is how i’d describe him

2. 😐 my dear james, what the fuck. why are you nervously beatboxing

3. oh god, they’re gonna have to kill the deer to eat. james is NOT gonna like this

4. regulus does NOT give a fuck about the deer. he only doesn’t kill them cause he’s softhearted for james

5. “He tilts his head up to the sky, like he's looking directly at Sirius with an expression that clearly states: are you seeing this shit?” LMAO

6. (james describing his feelings for sirius) “Well, for one thing, what we have is special and goes beyond the bounds of romance, reaching unfathomable lengths that no one can understand but us, so jot that down,"” LMAO but also yes. absolutely right

7. 😧😧 jaw open. shocked. sobbing. reg agrees that in a different lifetime, him and james would probably be dating

8. 😭😭😭 james getting excited about if in a different life he married reg because that would make him sirius’ brother in law

9. “"Your ability to find things to be happy about, even in the middle of literal life or death fucking astounds me."” so true. but also. like. i understand james. me and james have got this connection. i understand him.

10. 😏 they’re gonna share a blankie

11. HANDCUFFS?????

12. "”Mum, Dad, look away, I'm having impure thoughts," James announces, gasping theatrically as he presses the back of his hand to his forehead. "Oh, the shame."” LMAO HES SO FUNNY

13. god, i miss james’ glasses too, reg

14. i’ve always wondered if the capital/hallow would show if tributes had sex in the arena. like, would they show it? like morally, they let people kill one another, so would they have anything morally against showing two people having sex in the arena??

15. god, they’re gonna be so mentally fucked up when they leave this arena

16. “Dorcas vividly remembers being very sure that the 'McKinnon girl' was about to die, only to be stunned when that 'McKinnon girl' shoved someone twice her size right into the fire and warmed herself up while they burned.” 😧 no wonder the past haunts marlene so bad. jesus fucking christ

17. god i love dorcas. she has no excuses for the other hallows. she’s like, i grew up and realized it was wrong. that’s all it took. the rest of them should have grown up as well

18. 😳😳 dorcas says she likes it rough

19. 😳 oh shit wait i think they’re actually gonna fuck

20. DORLENE <333333333333333

21. oh damn. the secret codes and sharing of messages to relay info. like gid and fab’s death

22. god, not dorcas lying about gid and fab’s death. i understand 100% but jesus. it sucks

[philomenas-stuff]

Between the hotel and a hard place

So - writing fanfic becomes addictive.

Their lives had been turned completely upside down, but getting the sex thing out of the way was the least of their worries.

For a start, Sakari had nowhere to live, and it would likely be several months before the damage to his apartment would be repaired. The insurance company would pay for alternative accommodation, so he was supposed to be looking for somewhere to rent. In the meantime he had taken up residence in Henna’s old room in Sofia’s apartment, though that wasn’t very satisfactory, as the pipe works were still a week or two from completion.

Sofia’s priority was to create some stability in Emil’s life, which apart from anything else would entail some difficult negotiations with child protection services. She had also been anxious for Emil’s grandpa, but he had been adamant that he wanted to go home on his release from hospital, so there had been work to do to arrange an appropriate care package in order that he could maintain his independence. Sakke wanted to look into the options for taking care of Leo, but as a single man of no fixed abode, he’d had to leave it on the back burner for the time being.

And they had the day jobs to consider. They knew they had already been the subject of office gossip even when there had been nothing going on between them. JP had been rolling eyes forever at the amount of time they spent together, and even Rautamaa had started to pass the odd shrewdly barbed comment. A workplace fling might be tolerated for a short time, but if they embarked on a more serious relationship, they would not be allowed to work together.

There was no ’if’ about it, however, for they had reached an understanding the night of the shooting, and there would be no going back. It was just a question of when and how. Their dilemma was that they had so little time and no private space in which to give rein to their feelings for each other. They certainly weren’t about to get it on with Sofia’s son watching from the wings.

At least Emil had been cool with their current arrangement, though like most boys of his age he considered too much smooching and kissing pretty gross, and told them so. Sofia did however have an interesting exchange with her son one morning, in which he’d told her he was glad she and Sakke had got back together.

”What do you mean, back together?”, she’d asked.

”Well, when you were dating before you got pretty miserable after he arrested Henna”.

”We were never dating before”.

Her son gave her some side-eye. ”Oh come on, mum. He was always round here, or we’d stay over at his place. You just didn’t want me to know he was your boyfriend”.

“Out of the mouth of babes”, Sakke had laughed when she relayed the conversation to him. “It’s from the Psalms of David”, he added, as if she really needed to know. “Looks like we were the only people in Helsinki who were oblivious to it”.

They were sitting in the car down by the old quay, still the only place they had to themselves.

“On the subject of ‘it’”, said Sofia. “What are we going to do”?

“Well. We could sit here and talk about it. Or we could drive to Ronnvik and find a motel. Or we could wait till dark and climb into the back seat, and you know…”, he raised an eyebrow as he smirked at her.

“That’s not funny”, she replied, quite crossly. “We can’t go on putting it off. We might find we’re not compatible”.

He had the grace to look shocked. Surely she couldn’t mean that? “Or we could go back to my new little love nest”, he offered, as if he’d only just thought of it. “We have a few hours before we need to be anywhere else”.

“You found somewhere?” Her eyes opened wide in surprise.

“Mmhh”.

“You’re on. Go”.

By the time they’d parked the car and walked hand-in-hand up to the new apartment, they were both as nervous as kittens. Like teenagers sneaking home while their parents were out. They stopped by the door to kiss, neither of them able to speak.

Although he’d only had the keys a few days, Sakke had already made the tiny studio flat quite cosy. A gleaming new coffee machine (of course); soft lighting; and fresh linen on the bed.

They kicked off their boots and removed their coats, looking at each other in anticipation, wondering which of them would make the first move.

“Come here”, he said, and pulled her in for a hug. “If we’d done this a couple of years ago I’d have been pinning you against the wall and ripping your clothes off with my teeth”.

Sofia laughed softly, looking up at him. “What’s stopping you now?”, she whispered, reaching for his belt.

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her firmly on the lips. “Can we take things slowly? If it turns out we’re not compatible”, his eyes danced at her, “this might be my one chance. l want to be able to remember every moment.”

And so the deed was done: slowly and tenderly, and punctuated with soft murmurs as mouths and fingers explored uncharted territories, each whispering encouragement to the other, seeking out the rhythm that would make them whole, and laughing at the absurdity of it all.

Sated, they lay in a happy tangle of limbs, suffused in a heady mix of endorphins, oxytocin, and more than a little sweat; and feeling rather pleased with themselves.

“True plain hearts”,” he said in English, his voice husky, his fingers tracing a line across her lips, along her jaw, and down to the notch in her collar bone, where he planted another kiss.

“What’s that?”, she asked. “It sounds a bit poetic”.

“Spot on”, he smiled. “John Donne. He was an English poet from the late sixteenth century. Not many people have written more honestly about love and sex”.

“You never cease to astonish me, Sakari Nurmi. I never had you down as a romantic soul. Or have you just been hiding it behind that tough old shell?”. Sofia tapped her knuckles playfully on his pecs.

“Mmphh. Careful. It’s not so tough”.

“Seriously, Sakke. I love you, and I think I know you quite well. Then suddenly you drop another bombshell, and I’m thinking I don’t know this man at all. Sometimes..”, she heaved her shoulders, searching for the words, “sometimes you scare me.”

He pulled her towards him, looking her square in the eye. “I’m quoting you the finest love poetry ever written, and I scare you?”

“Don’t schmooze me, Sakari Nurmi. Why didn’t you go to medical school?”

Now who was dropping bombshells, he thought. That was the trouble with Sofia: her aim was straight and true, and she always went for the jugular.

He sighed. “I didn’t know who I was and I couldn’t face the commitment. Six years of trying to live up to other people’s expectations”.

Sofia nodded slowly, for it was a perfectly reasonable explanation, and one she could relate to. “Do you know who you are now?”

A shadow flickered across his eyes, but he willed it away, quickly. “You scare me, Sofia. This scares me”.

She took his hand, entwining his fingers in hers, safe and reassuring. “There are two of us now”.

To be continued. But have some John Donne first.

I wonder, by my troth, what thou and I

Did, till we loved? Were we not weaned till then?

But sucked on country pleasures, childishly?

Or snorted we in the Seven Sleepers’ den?

’Twas so; but this, all pleasures fancies be.

If ever any beauty I did see,

Which I desired, and got, ’twas but a dream of thee.

And now good-morrow to our waking souls,

Which watch not one another out of fear;

For love, all love of other sights controls,

And makes one little room an everywhere.

Let sea-discoverers to new worlds have gone,

Let maps to other, worlds on worlds have shown,

Let us possess one world, each hath one, and is one.

My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,

And true plain hearts do in the faces rest;

Where can we find two better hemispheres,

Without sharp north, without declining west?

Whatever dies, was not mixed equally;

If our two loves be one, or, thou and I

Love so alike, that none do slacken, none can die.

[mauricemylittlemeowmeow]

gmorning gmorning. gmorning long post.

it's exactly 4am!!

blurry ass shot but i woke up, saw jupiter and thought "yeah definitely too early". but then i get up a bit more and i saw the moon right below it and i thought pretty!!!

skies've been too cloudy to stargaze for the past month. it's actually completely obscured the moon and jupiter right now so i'm glad i could get a shot in even though it was shitty lmao. it was real pretty and nice and fuckin mars was there with aldebaran and everything (if u squint u see them in the photo above jupiter)

dream time!!! on a scale of 10, dreams were a 7-8 today depending on which. one of them featured daniil which was funny so ill relay it:

premise was that i was the player character in what my brain helpfully supplied as some sort prequel game for patho. a nurse (i was talking to my nurse friend before sleeping and she was ranting abt phlebotomy or smth so lmao)

it mightve been set in a plague but basically there was some sort of epidemic and "i" tended to the in patients at an hospital (is it a hospital?? do people pronounce the h in hospital in english?) where most of everyone was sick with something really bad and barely curable.

anyways i was walking around doing my rounds. then i come over to this room with patients and it's literally like a closet with long shelves and everything but instead of supplies, the patients were crammed in there like a morgue or a line of standing coffins.

lo and behold i see daniil in all his p1 model glory. i pull him out. hes distressed so i tell him hes actually starting to get better (he was not) and that soon he'll be discharged after he's well again. i pat his head lovably and grow fond like i was comforting a cute puppy (i have 6 dogs) and i think about shoving him in the broom closet of doom again.

i think that was the part where i was like "lmao wtf is this dream rn" so my brain helpfully supplied some lore then when i was done "remembering" the setting above, the scene already shifted.

daniil was, once again, in distress. he was a lot like an asylum patient. like someone who lost their sense of self and was struggling very hard to claw at an identity of any sort that they might have had in the past. he was trying to use the phone to make a call. he struggles trying to recall a number but then eventually gets one right.

it rings and bc dream me really wanted to listen in on the conversation like a chronic gossip, i manage to "convince" him (dream coercion) to let me answer the phone.

it was his mum!! daniil dankovsky's mother 大草 lmao. i told her i was from the hospital, calling about daniil and she was like "oh... he's dead, isn't he?" and i told her that no he's fine actually and was to be dismissed very soon (i was lying).

while this was happening, i was trying my best to let daniil hear the conversation too but i didn't know how to put the telephone on speaker (bc fr idk how to put telephones on speaker irl. i think our telephone company doesnt provide speaker buttons????? idk im going insane) so i was just struggling, trying to put the receiver speaker in between us before giving up

i heard the tail end of her going on about needing "dr. burakh" to fix her up and my brain hit me with another dose of setting details at that point.

(artemy's a doctor/surgeon in the hospital and hes handling daniil's treatment too)

i laugh and tell her that there's no need to get artemy bc soon her son'll be home to fix her up instead.

at that point, i was urged to cut the call because someone came up to me, another telephone in hand, and said "you know this is a home line right?" (implying anyone could listen in)

i was too lazy to reply and continue the dream so i just woke up after that lol.

but yeah good morning yippee!! clean start for another day!!! cant wait to seize it, hope everyone does too!!!

[fanfiction-blep]

I had a thought

What if the Decedents kids went to Hogwarts. What houses would they be put into?

also i do not Support JK Rowling's recent comments on Transgender women and as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community i support my transgender's sisters, brothers and siblings

another PSA, i wrote this about a year and a half ago, and couldn’t bring myself to finish after Cameron passed away i know i didn’t know him personally  it still impacted me in a way i felt odd writing about one of his characters :) 

One: Mal

SLYTHERIN

Ok ok so before you shoot me hear me out. Mal would 100% be a Slytherin think about it she's cunning, she's very ambitious. She reaches her goals and maybe not in the way she aims to at first. but she still dose it. She's also a strong leader. You can imagine she being queen be of the Slytherins. And being a very out spoken person, but following her mother's beliefs she bullied and tormented Muggle Born's and first years. You know casting hex's and unleashing horrid spells those would be her fortae. This would all be a cover up though. No one but her mother knows who her father is so there is much question about her blood status and weather her father is actually a muggle. So Mal over compensates. She's doesn't allow time for emotion or for second guessing her actions. Instead she goes out of her way to be the meanest, baddest Slytherin in her year. And the worst Hogwarts had seen in a long time. That was until she met Ben, ben taught her compassion and not to care what people think of her. He taught her love something her mother never could, which leads me too.

Two: Ben

HUFFLEPUFF

Ok hear me out. Yeah he's a strong guy who'd you'd normally place in Gryffindor. But that doesn't mean he is. Yes he is born leader in the sense he is a prince that doesn't mean that he is a natural, he works very hard on making sure everyone is happy and that no one is left out. He messes up and and tries to make it right straight away. He's adorable and just wants to help people. But he's strong will as well and sticks to his guts. Everyone wants to be Ben's friend just as everyone should have a Hufflepuff friend. He looks out for his fellow students regardless of house. His dad being a pure blood Noble born and his mother a muggle born. He was placed in Hufflepuff like his mother and thrives there. But not everyone likes him, even if he helps them he will often get a very negative response. "Blood traitor" "muggle lover" ect but it's when he finds Mal tormenting a young Hufflepuff he finds his biggest challenge. He went way out of his way to prove to himself and Mal that she had a heart and that she was a good person she just hadn't had the right person to show her that yet.

Three: Evie

RAVENCLAW

I am NOT saying this because she wears blue! Although that did make this even better. I chose ravenclaw for Evie because she is smart. She's intelligent and she has an passion for learning she is very creative. I mean come on that girl makes her own outfit's! And loves making them for other People. Over time she becomes less dependent on what her mother taught her and become independent in herself and relays on her own experience not her mother's. She also learns to accept, she accepts her heritage and all that she must learn not to do in life from it. She accepts that she can be smart, funny and creative and not have to hide herself for a guy to like her.. ALSO can we talk about the fact she took another guy's homework load on top of her own AND was making her own cloths. Who the hell other than a Ravenclaw would give enough shits to make sure all her work got done. Regardless of weather or not she should have been doing others work for them. She still did it and did it well (remember she didn't get caught) she seems like the type that would absolutely help the younger students, like ones who move out or run away from home shes like “hey its okay i’m your MUM now :)” and makes them cloths helps them study and acutlly takes them home because i’m damn sure her and Mal have a house together by this point. and she helps whoever she can even if they are not a Ravenclaw

Four: Jay

Gryffindor

Don’t start but i definitely think Jay would have been a Gryffindor, the sporty thing kind of pulled me there but its coupled with the fact that the traits “brave and reckless” seam to fit him very well. if we look back at jay he fits in with the family mentality that most Gryffindor’s have. the protectiveness of the girls and Carlos show as he doesn't really leave their side. and lets be honest its pretty freaking brave of someone to stand up against everything you have ever been taught. like come-on Jafar as a father and this kid still became part of a team and stuck by those who stuck by him. he seems like the type to HATE quiditch at first and then ben gets him into it and he’s like well if the soft boi said so while rolling his eyes and he’s BOMB ass good at it, and helps the whole team. he also seems like the type to actually not give a Fuck at all, unless you mess with the younger kids, he doesn't pay much attention to kids in other houses cus their older members eventually get involved in but his house becomes his family and he acts like it 

Five: Carlos

Hufflepuff 

okay so i thought Carlos would be difficult but i saw this GIF and instantly though our boy is a huffl for sure. i mean naturally Hufflepuff's are naturals with animals and as we know so if Carlos he is afraid of dude because of what his mother taught him but he realizes that dogs even animals in general are NOT scary and he becomes the softest boi. lets also take into consideration he is very loyal to his friends, his mother HA (i mean she defo deserved it) but you can also see in the scenes he has with his mum hes super uncomfortable with her teachings and even look at this Scene the way his mother is speaking to him, his loyalty is instant its earned, he is loyal to those who prove they are worthy like his friends. we see in D2 that when Mal is upset but the girls lead off the talk he wasn't having any of it he wanted to be involved he wanted to help and look after his friends. he also seems like a newt Scamander type, like he would have a room or place somewhere in the castle where he has kept all his amazing little animals. boi would have ALL THE NIFFLERS omg. i cannot even begin to imagine when the nifflers have babies he keeps them with him at all times and it just like a protective older brother. he doesn't see animals as animals in a ‘lesser’ than me way, he sees them as creatures that cannot vocalize in the same way he can and need protecting and sees it as a joy to do so. and the one time someone hurts a magical creature around him, he gets into a fight and GODDAMN wins cus no one messes with his cuties, he pays for it, for a long time but he doesn't care  

[imalwaysintune]

Soft JonMartin pt. 2

Thank you so much for the love on my first story! I t was wonderful reading all the positive feedback. And thank you to @ggracee for making beautiful art for it.

If you have any requests, please send them to my ask box or message me. I’m also in the process of making an AO3 account so be on the lookout for that.

Please don’t judge too hard cause their probably not all in character but i have a lot of soft feelings i need to get out and it is being projected onto these characters. Enjoy!

-------------------------------------

“What? Elias, I don’t understand. It’s not even a holiday today.” Jon spoke to Elias, trying very hard to keep up with the man’s eager stride.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about, little Archivist. Tell everyone that they can go home. Consider it a gift, if that tickles your fancy.” Elias drawled, opening the door to his office. “I promise everything here will be fine. Plus, you look a little worse for wear. Go suck a statement out of somebody or something.” At that, Elias slammed the door to his office, leaving Jon dumbfounded.

Normally, Jon would want to argue with him. He would want to fight against the decision Elias has made, but today he just… couldn’t. Elias was right, and that annoyed Jon. He was tired, and more hungry than he had been in a long time. He decided to drop the issue and just enjoy the free day that he had been given.

As Jon began walking around the institute, relaying the message Elias had told him to, he ran into Martin. Martin helped him with the few people left while Jon went into the Archives to collect his things. Not that he had much; just his journal and charger for his phone. Not that he really used it all that often anymore. The only people who texted him were Martin and Basira. But he rarely answered. Jon sighed, staring at the device when he heard a knock on the door. Gentle, but it made him smile to himself. “Come in, Martin,” He said.

The door opened, revealing the redhead Jon had come to rely on heavily these past few months. Martin smiled gently. A rush of dizziness ran through Jon’s head, causing him to lean heavily against the chair leaned against his desk. Martin quickly rushed over to support Jon, looping the smaller man’s arm around his shoulders. “Careful, Jon. You need to take care of yourself. When’s the last time you... fed?” He asked carefully, careful to not talk to loud as to spook Jon. 

Jon slowly looked up at Martin, his mouth suddenly being deprived of all moisture. He swallowed in vain before speaking, “I... um... maybe a month? It’s hard to keep track of time in the grand scheme of things, right now, to be honest.”

He slipped his arm from across Martin and stood up on his own, his shoulders rolled back and his chin high. “I’ll be okay. Ah, but since we have the rest of the day off today because Elias is... busy... we should get out of here. Don’t want to upset the boss.”

“I was actually going to come to you to talk about that. I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my place. We don’t really see each other much out of work now and I have extra tea at my house that I didn’t mean to buy, but the tea was one sale and so I bought so much more than I’ll ever need and-”

“Martin. Martin!” Jon interrupted Martin’s ramble. A smile was tugging at the edge of his mouth, but from what he couldn’t tell. He was tired, oh so tired, but still he felt compelled to accept the invitation Martin had extended to him. He normally wouldn’t let himself indulge in something he wanted to do when he knew he had things that he was supposed to be doing. But Martin’s little hopeful sent shivers down Jon’s spine he couldn’t ignore. So he did accept, gladly basking in the chance to let himself relax. 

Before he knew it, Martin was driving him to his flat. He didn’t think about how he’d get home later, about how his car was still at the institute, about how Martin had said offhandedly that he has a spare bedroom that is currently unoccupied. All he thought about was the man in the driver’s seat. He allowed himself short glaces over to him while he was distracted, staring at the busy intersections in front of them. 

Every time he looked over, Jon felt his face flush and his stomach turn over. He didn’t know why this was happening, as he usually associated those feelings with fear, but he knew that he wasn’t scared. He felt more content than he ever had in his life, sitting next to Martin. Soon, though, his thoughts shifted to how tired he really was. His eyelids began to close, sleep quickly overcoming him like a gentle wave. He didn’t think, just let the feeling take him over as he fell asleep leaning against the passenger side window.

When Jon came to, he didn’t recognize his surroundings. What he did notice, though, was a few things. First, he was in a bed. Not, he decided, his bed, but it was comfortable and soft. Second he realized the decorations that covered the walls. They were pictures, he saw, pictures of various people whom he did not know, save for one. Martin. Suddenly it clicked, he was in Martin’s flat and had no recollection of coming inside himself.

Christ, he thought, Martin must have someone carried me in here himself. The selfless bastard. 

Jon slowly got out of bed, his joints screaming against the movement. He ignored them, like he always did, and began scanning the room with his eyes. It was Martin at different points in his life, surrounded by people Jon knew he’d never met, or will ever meet. Still he was drawn to a particular face in one of the pictures. It was a ginger, more heavy-set woman holding a child that looked an awful lot like Martin as a toddler. He felt the pressure beneath his eyes but decided to ignore it. He didn’t want to peer into parts of Martin’s life he wasn’t inclined to tell. But then again, it didn’t matter anyways when he heard footsteps come up right behind him.

He knew who it was before he turned around. Martin’s voice spoke quietly and broke the silence. “That’s my mum. Or, it was my mum. Before she passed away. A while before she passed away. Sorry, it’s hard to talk about.”

Jon finally turned around and faced Martin, a wave of what he thought was nausea passing over him. He awkwardly collapsed into Martin, his bony joints pressing against Martin’s soft body. But Martin managed to catch him nonetheless and set Jon down onto the bed. “You need to rest,” was all he said. 

Jon didn’t have the energy to argue, and instead let the sweet lullaby of Martin’s voice lull him to sleep. Funny, he thought, I’ve never heard Martin sing before.

When Jon woke up for the second time, it was noticeably darker. He could see the outline of Martin in the same position he had been before he’d fallen asleep. Had he been there the whole time?

Soon Jon realized with a jolt, though, that Martin was speaking. Softly, bare audible, so Jon had to strain his ears to actually hear what he was saying. He almost seemed to be talking to somebody, but Jon couldn’t make out the outline or light of a phone.

“-and I know you’re still asleep so you’ll never hear this. Maybe that’s for the better. Maybe we’re- maybe I’m meant to be unhappy. Just look at you from the sidelines and cheer you on from the stands. You’re the hero Jon, not me. The hero isn’t supposed to fall in love with a bystander, much less a guy. He’s supposed to fall in love with the sexy damsel in distress. Someone like Melanie or Basira. But I supposed they’re not really damsels, per say. I mean Melanie literally gorged her eyes out, but she’s with Georgie now. And Basira can hold her own better than any of us. 

“Sorry, I’m rambling.” He laughed. “I don’t know why I apologized though because, well, you can’t hear me.”

Martin took a pause, staying quiet for so long that Jon was worried he wasn’t going to speak again,  but suddenly he let out a deep sigh.

“I guess the moral of the story is that I love you Jon. But I’m too scared to tell you to your face, so I’m instead telling you while you sleep. It’s a coward move, I know, but I’m just scared. We’ve only just started getting closer, I don’t want to push you away so soon. I have to constantly push down the urges to hug or kiss you. I don’t think I hide it well, unfortunately. Daisy gives me these... looks, like she just knows what I’m thinking. It seems you’re the only one who doesn’t know at this point. I don’t know if I’ll ever tell you to your face. But this will have to do for now.”

Martin was silent again, and finally he moved. Jon felt the weight leave the bed, and soon the sound of a door opening and footsteps retreating down the hall. Jon sat up as quietly as he could and leaned against the wall, his face cool. When he reached up to touch it, his hands came away wet. He realized then that he’s been crying, for how long he didn’t know. 

“Holy shit, Martin,” He whispered, wiping the rest of the tears from his face.

Again he felt his stomach turn, and his face heat up. He didn’t know what it meant. He didn’t know what any of it meant, he didn’t know what to do. He just sat there, staring at his hands until he heard the footsteps returning down the hall. He did not move as he saw the silhouette of Martin appear in the doorway. The figure froze, and only moved after a few seconds to turn on the lights.

Suddenly Jon could see all of Martin, his disheveled hair and tear stained face. Had he been crying?

“Uh, h-hi Jon. Glad to see you’re awake. Are you feeling any better?” Martin asked gently. Had he always been this gentle?

“Martin I-” He froze, unsure how to respond to the entire situation he’d found himself in. “Um, I’m fine. Better than fine. I, um, heard what you said. Or, some of it. The end of it.”

Martin’s soft smile dropped, and so did the mug he was holding in his hands. He slowly sank to his knees, not caring about the broken ceramic mug. His head dropped into his hands and he began shaking, slow heavy sobs being released through his hands.

Jon sprung off the bed and over to Martin, careful to not step on any of the shattered mug. He slowly grabbed Martin’s hands and peeled them away from his face. He gripped them tightly, and stood as he led Martin over to the bed. He sat the man down gently and began picking pieces of ceramic off his skin. “Stay here, I’ll be right back,” He ordered, leaving the room and returning a minute later with a wet washcloth.

Jon began to wipe Martin’s knees carefully, weary to remove as much of the shrapnel as he could. Martin was silent through all of this, just staring intently at either Jon or his knees, trying to keep the whimpers of pain to a minimum. 

When Jon was finished, he stood and threw the cloth in what he assumed to be the dirty hamper. He then sat down next to the larger man, looking impossibly small next to him. But he was stronger than he looked, he knew, and took Martin’s hand into his own. It was such a simple movement, but it caused the butterflies in his stomach to persist harder. He fought down the emotion and spoke as levelly as he could.

“Martin, I don’t understand love. That’s not to say I don’t feel it, it’s just even if I did, I don’t think I would know. Or, well, Know. But, every time I’m around you, my stomach feels uneasy and I can’t help but to want to look at you. Doesn’t that mean something?”

Martin perked up at that, smiling warily at Jon, wiping his face of the rest of the tears. “Jon, you’re so oblivious. Don’t you understand? I’ve loved you for literal years, and it’s taken you this long to sort through your feelings. Christ, I never thought we would be having this conversation.”

“But I- I want to Martin. I think I understand now. I’ve been... I’ve been reading romance novels and-”

Martin burst out laughing at that, his voice incredulous, “Romance Novels?? The Jonathan Sims has been reading romance novels? For what? How to know if you’re in love or not? That’s not how you-” The look on Jon’s face shut him up. “Oh my God, you were reading them to find out about love. Jon, I didn’t- I’m sorry-”

It was Jon’s turn to laugh. He placed his hand on top of Martin’s and leaned on him. “It’s quite alright, Martin. I just didn’t know how else to get answers to my questions, and The Eye was keen on telling me. So, yes. Romance novels.”

He felt Martin move above him, and turned at the same time Martin tried to look down at Jon. What happened instead, however, sent shivers down both their spines. Martin leaned down a little too far, and their lips brushed. Soon Jon felt Martin above him again, but this was, was pushed to the mattress with a weight on top of him. His mind turned blank, not inclined to help him out but it didn’t matter. His instincts kicked in and soon he was kissing Martin back. He was kissing him back.

It was the softest thing he had ever felt. With a jolt, though, Martin sat up and scrambled off the bed, off of Jon. He suddenly felt cold as Martin stared at Jon with wide eyes. 

“We should, um, probably head to bed. You can sleep in here, I’ll crash in the other bedroom. Goodnight, Jon, um, I’m sorry.” Martin stammered.

Groggily Jon smiled, and reached out his arms for Martin. “Please, stay with me tonight. I lost you so much already, I don’t want to lose you again.”

And so Martin did. He slept with Jon that night, relishing in the fact that Jon had asked him to stay. He couldn’t leave Jon when he was finally asking for him. Right before Martin finally fell asleep though, he heard Jon whisper in the dark.

“I love you too, Martin.”

The End!

[lostinshawnsmemory]

SM Imagine: Hair Salon - Shawn x Black Reader

A/N: This idea came from @thotmendes and I had to write it.

Word Count: 1.7k

“Shawn, you don’t have to come with me.” you rolled your eyes at your boyfriend who was supposed to be dropping you off had started to get out of the car.

“I know, but I want to. I’ve never seen you get your hair done the whole time we’ve been together.”

“I didn’t know you wanted to come.” you shrugged, surprised that he’d taken so much interest in your hair, you always took getting your hair done for granted but seeing the excitement on his face was something you didn’t expect.

“Of course I do. Your hair always looks gorgeous and I want to see how it’s done.”

“Alright then.” you chuckled. You really couldn’t say to him. He could ask you to run around the parking lot screaming the lyrics to Stitches barefoot and you’d say yes.

You both walked into the salon, Shawn trailing a few steps behind you. Once inside you were greeted to a chorus of hellos by the lovely ladies who worked there, making you feel at home instantly, but there was one woman you were looking for.

“Y/N!” the owner who you affectionately titled ‘Auntie Doris’, called to you. She was a Nigerian woman who had moved to Canada and opened her own salon. She was the only one who you trusted to braid your hair. You’d gone to stylists all over, but no one did hair quite like Auntie Doris.

“Auntie Doris!” you exclaimed as she enveloped you in a big hug rocking you from side to side.

“How have you been? It’s been too long.”

“It’s only been 6 weeks.” you fired back.

“Six weeks too long,” she said squeezing your shoulder. “And who is this cutie?” she asked training her attention on Shawn who was standing by the door.

“This is my boyfriend Shawn.” you beamed waving him over. “Shawn this is Auntie Doris, the woman responsible for my kickass braids.”

“Oh! She’s your aunt?”

Laughter rang out as everyone in the salon, including you, started laughing leaving Shawn looking very confused.

“No babe, she’s not actually my aunt, but she is old enough to be my mother and it’s disrespectful to call her by her first name.”

“Got it.” he responded nodding his head. “How did you start doing Y/N’s hair?”

“Well.” she said, “Y/N needed somewhere to get her hair done and a friend of hers recommended me, and the rest, as they say, is history.”

“She is an angel to be who works literal magic on my hair.” you added.

“Anyway, let’s get down to work. Did you bring the hair”

“I did.” you gestured to bag you were holding that had your extensions in it.

“Wait you bring your own hair? I thought you got your hair braided.” You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped and soon enough the whole salon was laughing again. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Shawn turn a deep shade of red, clearly embarrassed. Feeling sorry that he was the butt of the joke you ran your hands through his hair, it always made him feel better. “Babe, my hair is woven in with the hair extensions.”

“I really know nothing about my girlfriend's hair.” he huffed.

“Well it’s good that you’re here then.” you giggled kissing him on the cheek.

You sat down in your usual chair and took out the hair extensions you’d brought. Shawn sat at the empty station next to you and you had to admit that it was pretty funny looking at him sitting in a salon surrounded by women who kept looking at him out of the corner of their eyes. It wasn’t everyday the white boy in their salon was a world-famous singer. He was out of his depth and it was written all over his face.

Auntie Doris took the hair from you and started separating and combing it, preparing for it to be braided. In a matter of minutes, she had sectioned your hair and had started braiding. You could see Shawn’s eyes widen in the mirror, his gaze fixed solely on Auntie Doris hands and the way her fingers moved back and forth braiding your hair.  

“I could watch this forever,” he muttered, completely entranced by Auntie Doris’ quick motions.

“You want to help me?” Auntie Doris asked not looking up from the hair she was braiding. “Y- you want me to help?” he stared at her in disbelief.

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want you to help.” she winked at him.

You looked between the two of them and started giggling, taking in Shawn’s shocked expression. He looked between the two of you for a few seconds and slowly nodded his head.

“Great!” Auntie Doris placed the bundle of hair she was holding in Shawn’s hands then showed him how much hair to section for each braid explaining why she needed as much hair as she did. Shawn paid close attention to everything she said, staring at Auntie Doris’ hands. She let him section the hair himself and you almost burst out laughing. Of all the things you’d expected when you started dating Shawn Mendes, him sitting in a salon sectioning off hair was not one of them. Whenever Auntie Doris help out her hand, Shawn went slightly narrow-eyed concentrating on how much hair he was handing to her. You’d seen that look on his face before, it usually appeared when he was trying to perfect a guitar riff. You had to capture the moment, so you took out your phone and took a photo.

——————————————————————————————-

It took an hour and a half before Shawn got bored and you couldn’t blame him. You were used to sitting in the chair but Shawn was someone who moved around a lot and him having to sit in one place for a long period of time was not his idea of fun. Just as you were thinking of telling him to go home and pick you up later, you received a text

Shawn: How long does it usually take to get your hair done?

Y/N: 6-ish hours.

Shawn: 6 HOURS?!?!?

Y/N: I told you that you didn’t have to come.

Shawn: I didn’t know it took that long

Y/N: You learn something new every day.

You gave him a sympathetic look in the mirror that he returned your smile. A few minutes later, a little girl who couldn’t have been more than 7, came up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Are you Shawn Mendes?” she asked nervously.

“I am” he smiled at her. It was the smile that made people flock to him and the smile that made you fall in love with him. “What’s your name?”

“My name is Rachel.”

“Hi, Rachel. Are you here to get your hair done?”

“No” she shook her head. “I’m here with my mum.” she pointed to a woman who was sitting under the dryer. “Well, I’m here with my girlfriend” he motioned to you and you waved to Rachel. “She’s really pretty.” Rachel said staring at you. “Yeah,” Shawn replied winking at you in the mirror. “I think so too”

“Can you sing me a song?” Rachel asked.

“Of course! What’s your favourite song?”

“If I Can’t Have You! I always ask my mommy to play it for me!”

Shawn beamed at the little girl then started singing ‘If I Can’t Have You’. Rachel couldn't stop smiling and it warmed your heart. Slowly the entire salon turned to watch Shawn sing, but he didn’t notice, his eyes were trained solely on Rachel who was singing along. You watched him sing in front of large crowds all the time, but there was something about this particular moment that struck a chord with you. When the song ended everyone in the store applauded and Shawn looked up to see everyone looking at him, his eyes found yours and you blew him a kiss mouthing “I love you” which he returned.

“Sing some more!” Rachel tugged on his arm “Sing some more!”

“Okay, okay!” he laughed “What do you want me to sing?”

“Oh!” she exclaimed listing what could be deduced as her favourite  songs  “Stitches and Mercy and Lost in Japan and There’s Nothing Holding Me Back and-.”

“Woah” Shawn chuckled, holding up a hand “One at a time. I promise I’ll sing all of them but you have to list them slowly. Okay?” Rachel nodded enthusiastically giving Shawn the signal to start singing.

One thing you didn’t expect when you came to do your hair was to attend an impromptu Shawn Mendes concert. Shawn loved performing and was happy to sing every single song Rachel asked. And she wasn’t the only one. Loads of the kids in the salon came up to him, asking him to sing their favourite songs and he entertained each and every one. At one point he even had Rachel on his lap and you couldn’t deny that the sight made your heart melt.

When you got out of Auntie Doris’ chair 4 hours later, you were surprised that Shawn had managed to keep himself occupied for that long. He looked utterly content playing with the kids who’d come into the salon. Be it singing to them or telling them tour stories. They all crowded around him absorbed in what he was doing.

“Sorry guys,” you said placing your hand on Shawn’s shoulder, alerting him of your presence. “Shawn and I have to go home now.” Your words were met with a collective “aww”.

Shawn turned around and smiled at you “You hair looks gorgeous.”

“Thanks, babe. You have Auntie Doris to thank for that” you replied “Are you gonna say goodbye to your friends?” you indicated to kids who were staring at him.

“I’ve got to go guys.” he said. His face relaying his slight disappointment. “I will come back though. Isn’t that right Auntie Doris?”

“You are welcome anytime Shawn.” She yelled from across the store.  

When you got into the car, you turned to Shawn.”Did you have a good time at the salon?” “I had a great time” he chuckled, “I think Auntie Doris is going to want you at all my hair appointments.”

“I’d love to.”

Taglist

@justbeingoceana @rulerofnocountry @bugheadfanatic @thotmendes @shawnssnack @sean-mendezzzzz @momenraul @tisvanessa @zionsvalentine @mani-lifes @speakingofmari @anxious-bi-bb @sinplisticshawn

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 9

Chapter Summary -  Taylor's little plan comes to fruition, leading to Tom and Benedict coming to verbal blows.Danielle becomes distressed at what is done, but Benedict comes up with a little plan to help everything.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog  @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer

The source stated that the pictures shown are clearly visible within Diana Hiddleston’s Suffolk home; and that she will happily show them and more to any who visit. The source also stated however, that to be told some of the A-list actor’s more embarrassing secrets, such as the time he ran stark naked, at eight years of age through a family get together because he cousin dared him to, takes years of earning the family’s trust and planting the idea that such stories in no way interest a person.

Tom stared at the small online article, which was very little writing and mostly photographs, all of him and his sisters as children, all personal ones that he knew his mother kept as cherished memories, and a few pictures of his mother’s living room and hallway. He shook with anger; he knew who the article was referencing as the ‘source’. The Jones’ that lived down from his mother were good at giving friendly salutes, but nothing more and the Kaleka’s were polite, but they were too young to really bother with his mother, both of them were the one age with him; that left only one person, one that he knew did know those stories, since he was dying of mortification as his mother relayed them to her in the living room one afternoon in his presence; Danielle. Taylor had been right all along, Danielle had been simply biding her time until she could strike and make some money for herself.

Picking up his phone, he went to call Luke to deal with it, and to see what he could do about getting Danielle sorted with an NDA. It was then he realised he had a missed call, so calling his voicemail; he put his ear up to it. It was Benedict, much to his surprise, and going by his message, he had seen the piece. Feeling somewhat vindicated, Tom pressed the callback button.

“Tom.” Benedict’s voice seemed somewhat relieved at the other side of the phone. “I am glad you called back.”

“I get it, you were wrong, she had everyone fooled,” Tom stated sympathetically.

“What?”

“Danielle, her big piece she is after giving the tabloids. Taylor said it would happen, and she was right.”

“Danielle, no you got it all wrong Tom, I was talking to her there a minute ago, Taylor was threatening her.”

“They’ve never even spoken, so that’s bullshit.” Tom dismissed. “Are you actually defending her?”

“Danielle? No, I’m not, because there’s nothing to defend. I have no idea what you are even on about.”

“She sold off a story to the papers, pictures from within my mum’s home; stories about me.”

“Are they really personal?”

“Not really, but she is probably saving them for next.”

“Tom, seriously, she knows some of your more personal stuff, she would not tell a little and not tell that, it’s not her, whoever your leak is, it’s not Danielle.”

“And you know this for sure?”

“Well, no, but I really doubt it, she is not the kind.”

“Are you fucking her?” Tom accused.

There was silence on the other side of the line for a moment. “Excuse me?”

“Are you fucking her? You seem really defensive of her.”

“Are you shitting me, Tom, I have a wife and kid and you are asking me if I am shagging your mother’s neighbour? A woman that lives three hours away? What the hell is going on in your head?”

“Well, you seemed all too cosy going into her house before, and you were talking to her earlier.”

“She’s…”

“What, turning up near you? That’s a bit convenient, isn’t it? Be careful or you will be next.”

“Tom, are you actually listening to yourself, you know Danielle would never fuck a married man, and I damn well would never fuck a woman that is not my wife.” Benedict snapped. “I came on to tell you to watch out for your little sweetheart, but it’s clear she’s screwed you up already, I hope she’s worth it, I really do.”

With that, the line went dead, leaving Tom staring at it angrily before tossing it onto the couch. He rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. Anytime of late that Elle’s name came up in any conversation, it was immediately followed by anger and arguments. His phone went off, telling him he had a text, so he walked over and read it.

Taylor – I told you, OMG I told you.

He did not know what to say back, so he tossed it down on the couch again, before crashing down beside it and wondering what he could do.

*

Benedict looked at the phone, shaking in anger at what Tom was insinuating.

“Did I actually hear that right?” Sophie asked from beside him, holding Christopher’s hands as he tried to walk a few steps.

“Apparently I am shagging his mother’s neighbour, just a heads up.”

“Nice of you to tell me,” Sophie replied jokingly.

“If it is any consolation, I didn’t know myself until a moment ago.”

Sophie scoffed. “Was that the paramedic I saw you and Will taking to?”

“Yep.”

“She’s pretty.”

“She is, I suppose, I have a wife so I would not be looking.” He grinned back. “Apparently, she’s taken anyway; I heard her on the phone yesterday to a guy, Paul, setting up a date.”

“That’ll put the brakes on any relationship you two are secretly having.” Sophie laughed.

“It is highly inappropriate of her to do so when we are supposed to be having a somewhat interesting, illicit and albeit highly false affair. God; that is the most insulting thing I have ever heard from a supposed friend, and honestly, I am not sure who it is more insulting to.”

“I’m not sure,” Sophie admitted, leaning in as Benedict placed his arm around her. “What are you going to do?”

“Danielle is on set again this evening, I might see her there.”

“At least it did not name her.”

“Yet.”

“Do you think she knows?”

“How can she not? God this is ridiculous. What is going on Sophie?”

Sophie shook her head slightly. “I have no idea, Tom is so…”

“Before this, I would have said, level-headed, intelligent and calm, but now…now it’s like there is something that has clicked off in his head, I feel like shaking him to get him to wake up again. He really thinks she did this.”

“Could she have?”

“Well, anyone can do anything, but would it be her nature; from what I have seen, no, I really don’t think she did, she seemed too hurt by everything that has happened, but not in a malicious manner.”

“Well, perhaps tonight will bring more of it to light.” She smiled. *

“Are you alright?” Benedict asked, looking at the paramedic in front of him.

It turned out, Danielle did not know about the article, she always avoided celebrity pages, thinking them to be unbearable at best. When Benedict began to talk to her about the piece, she genuinely had no clue as to what he was referencing, and when he showed her, she shook with horror at what it implied.

“It’s me, they are talking about me, as though I did this. Like I told them.” Tears began to form in her eyes. “I never…I would never…”

“I know.” Benedict gave her a hug. “She told you she would get you, and this is her revenge.”

“If Diana…”

“If Diana believes this then I will eat my Sherlock Holmes hat.” Danielle gave a laugh that was half a sob. “She is trying to get you to be forced away from the family, it is an effective method, I’ll grant her that.”

“I…How can I prove it is not me, Emma is one of my greatest friends and Diana…I cannot lose her, she is the only one I can really talk to since my mum…”

Benedict did not know very much of Danielle’s circumstances, he only recognised her accent as one of the Irish ones he had worked around before, so he established from that she was Irish, that and a few pictures he had seen in her home of Irish landscapes, but the manner which she spoke told him, that at the very least, her mother had passed away. “Diana has always seen through her too, you said that yourself, no one thinking clearly would think it is you, you have to believe that.”

“But even if they do, there will always be a slight niggling feeling in the back of their mind that perhaps I am not as trustworthy as they thought.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Not unless you can prove it was her.”

“I really wish I could.” He smiled sadly; before he furrowed his brow. “Perhaps.”

“What?”

“I have a little idea.”

“There’s nothing you can do about this.”

“Yes, I can.”

“I am really scared about this, what if it backfires on you?”

Benedict gave her warm smile. “I’m a big boy, I can handle myself. Besides, it will be harmless really, nothing that can do any harm. Just get on with your job in stopping us from killing ourselves here and don’t concern yourself about it.”

“Thank you, though I don’t know why you are so concerned with helping me, but I glad you are.”

“I want my good friend to see sense, as do you. I know we are not well acquainted, but our concern for him is enough for this to work.”

“I really hope you are right.”

When Danielle left, Benedict took out his phone and scrolled down, pressing call when he got to Tom’s number. At first, he thought it was going to ring out, but in the end, the other actor answered. “Yes?” it was curt and somewhat angry.

“Are you free on Thursday?” Benedict asked.

“I am in LA on Thursday,” Tom responded bluntly.

“I know, so am I, Sophie and I would love to actually see you face to face for a change, maybe talk?”

“I dunno.”

“Tom, please, there has been so much going on recently, I would actually like to see my friend, my real friend, Tom, remember that guy, smart, well educated, funny.”

“You forgot dashing.” There was a light playfulness to Tom’s tone Benedict had not heard in months.

“Yeah, that’s the idiot, how about we grab lunch then, perhaps, if she is around, actually meet Taylor?”

Tom remained quiet for a moment. “You want to meet her?”

“Yes, I mean, clearly she means a lot to you, so surely, as your friend, it makes sense for us to meet.”

“What about your defending Danielle?”

“Look, I am not going to go too much into that right now.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, I sort of got talking to her, and now I am worried…”

“That she will sell something on you? Fuck, you too? Was it anything serious?”

“No, just random stuff, but you know me, I don’t like certain parts of my personal life public.”

“Yes, I know. It’s nothing to do with the small guy, is it?”

“No, thankfully.”

“Was she alone with him for even a minute? You and Sophie have worked really hard to keep the camera off him.”

Benedict was forced to bite his lip from retorting in reference to Tom allowing a camera be shoved in his niece’s face as he accused his hardworking, good neighbour of photographing Christopher to sell his pictures. “No, well for a moment to go to the bathroom.”

“Shit. We will meet Thursday so, we can discuss it then.”

“And Taylor?”

“She is more famous than we are, she knows what it is like, she has her own things to be thinking about, she won’t say anything.”

“Perfect.” Benedict prayed his conniving smile would not alter his tone over the phone and rise Tom’s suspicions. “Until then man, usual spot?”

“See you then.” Tom’s tone was upbeat. “And Ben, great to actually be talking to you again.”

As Benedict hung up the phone, he looked at it, praying that Tom would not hate him for what he was about to do to save his friend from the worst mistake of his life.

[chuffyfan87]

Hiding. Part 76d

"Gets you into trouble if you're not careful." She giggled.

“Oh I know!”

"Its good to see you smiling again."

He smiled, “Mum?”

"Yeh?"

“I love you.”

"I love you too sweetheart."

He smiled shyly as he looked down.

Duffy gave her son a questioning look as she approached the turning for their road.

Peter yawned as they neared home. Therapy was exhausting!

"Do you have early classes tomorrow?" She asked as she turned into their road.

“No I’ve got a free first period.”

"Fancy taking your old mum out for breakfast once your brothers and sisters are at school? My treat."

He nodded, “Sure. I’d like that.”

"Thought it'd be nice for us to spend some time together whilst before you decide you're too embarrassed to be seen out in public with me!" She joked.

“That would never happen mum.” He smiled.

"Your father on the other hand..!" She giggled as she pulled up and parked the car.

“He doesn’t like to be seen with you?”

"Exactly the opposite - I swear he doesn't like letting me out of his sight. I'm not sure what he thinks I'm going to do!" She sighed as she got out the car.

“He just worries. You can’t blame him, you have given him reason to worry.” He laughed gently.

"Anyone would think I was planning to run away! It's not like I'd get far!"

“You’d probably give it a good go.” He got out of the car.

"Race you to the corner and back?" She giggled.

“Go on.” He laughed.

Having heard the car Charlie opened the front door just as his wife and eldest son prepared to race each other. “You’ve got to be joking.” Charlie shook his head fondly.

Using the fact that Peter looked around upon hearing his dad's voice to her advantage Duffy got a head start.

Peter managed to catch his mum up quite quickly.

She grumbled as he overtook her with ease.

“Dad’s going to kill us.” He replied.

"Yeh." She replied breathlessly. "You gunna let me win?" She smirked.

“Nah.” He laughed.

"After everything I've done for you!" She gasped.

He relented and allowed her to win.

She was breathing hard but grinning triumphantly as she skidded to a halt in front of Charlie.

Charlie rose an eyebrow and shook his head fondly, a small smirk on his face.

"Still. Got it." She gasped.

He lent forward and whispered in her ear, “I should really send you to your room and spank you.”

"Promises, promises." She giggled.

"It was her idea." Peter shrugged as he joined them.

“Oh I know, your mum’s got that glint in her eye.” He told Peter with a smile. “You alright?”

"I'm fine, I'm not so sure about mum though." Peter chewed his lip as he glanced at his mum who was still breathing a bit funny.

“Duffy?” Charlie touched her cheek, “Can you breathe?”

"I'm fine." She muttered.

“Come in and sit down. Please.” Charlie begged.

She rolled her eyes but did as he requested.

“Thank you.” He smiled.

"I still won!" She smirked as she sat down on the sofa.

Peter and Charlie rolled their eyes in unison.

She sighed as she relaxed back into the cushions, hoping she'd gotten away without either of them noticing that she was in some pain as a result of the stunt she'd pulled.

“Want a drink mum?” Peter asked.

"That would be lovely. Thank you Peter." She smiled.

As soon as Peter was out of sight, Charlie asked; “Where's the pain?”

"What pain?"

“Don’t play dumb. I can read you like a book.” He replied and sat beside her.

"Its nothing."

“Tell me?” He placed his hand on her stomach.

"Its just a twinge. I've had it on and off all day. I doubt it's anything to worry about, I'd know if it was." She shrugged.

“A twinge? Where? In your back or...?”

"Mostly my back, sometimes works it's way round to my hip. Like I said - it's nothing."

“Are you sure?” He asked.

"Don't give me that look!"

“I’m just asking.” He laughed gently.

"Anyone would think you didn't trust me!" She harumphed playfully. "I'm only 33 weeks, I've got ages to go yet."

“That’s because I don’t.” He smirked.

Duffy laughed as the baby kicked out at Charlie's hand. "At least someone is on my side."

“He’s on daddy’s side, aren’t you son?” He laughed as he rubbed her bump again.

Peter returned to the living room with a cup of tea for both his parents. "Its a boy? Tilly is going to lose her mind!" Peter laughed.

“I think it’s a boy.” Charlie replied, “What do you think?”

"I'm pretty sure you've been right every time so far." Peter shrugged.

"Well we'll know soon enough." Duffy groaned slightly as she moved to sit up properly so she could drink her tea.

“Blame your mum and her old wives tales.” Charlie replied with a smile as he caught his son’s gaze. “How was your session?”

"Alright." Peter shrugged.

“Anything you’d like to talk to me and your mum about?”

"I had a chat with mum in the car."

“Ok. And you feel better?”

"I will do soon I hope."

“You can talk to me and your mum, any time. Ok?”

"Yeh." Peter mumbled, looking down as he shuffled his feet on the carpet.

“About anything.”

"Yeh."

Charlie squeezed Peter's shoulder reassuringly.

"Am I OK to go up to my room now?" Peter asked.

“Of course you are.”

Peter smiled softly and left the room. He was exhausted from the session and kinda just wanted to go to bed.

“Is he ok?” Charlie asked.

Duffy sighed. "There's a lot going on in that young head of his."

“Anything I can do?” He asked.

"I think all either of us can do is just be there for him when he needs us." She sighed.

“Ok.” He smiled.

"Life is never simple in this family is it?"

“No darling, no it isn’t.”

"I just hope he'll be OK." She sighed, shifting on the sofa once more.

“If he’s anything like you, he’ll be ok.”

"Tough as old boots me!" She snorted.

“Yeah you are. Most of the time.”

"I just like to keep you on your toes."

“Yeah you do.”

"Someone has to." She giggled.

“That’s very true.”

She sighed as she snuggled into him. "It seems Peter has been keeping a lot to himself recently."

“What’s he been keeping to himself?”

"Where do I begin..?"

“From the beginning.”

She sighed and relayed the conversation she'd had with their son in the car.

“And he’s kept all this to himself?” Charlie sighed rubbing the back of his neck.

She nodded. "I knew for a while that he was struggling to sleep but not the rest of it." She sighed.

“He’s more like me than I realised.”

"Don't blame yourself." She sighed, resting her head against his shoulder.

He smiled sadly. “He’s got a lot going on.”

"He has but he also has a big support network around him. I think he'd forgotten about that for a while."

“Yeah quite possibly.” He smiled sadly again.

"In that respect he is like you. Feels the need to be strong for everyone else when he's the one that needs support."

“I worry about him.”

"I worry about both of you."

He smiled sadly as he caught her gaze, “I’m not giving you cause for concern at the minute, am I?”

"Other than your 'everything is fine' pretense..?"

“I’m ok. I think.”

"You'd tell me if you weren't though?"

“Of course.” He kissed her forehead.

"We just need to keep believing that everything will be OK."

“Yeah we do.”

[lessieandfifi]

Catching Up!

So I haven’t really posted properly for a while. I mean I posted our holiday pics but I haven’t really been posting about our life much. I haven’t felt like blogging much and we’ve been so busy but now I finally feel like blogging again.

In May JJ turned six! Six already, where has the time gone? For his birthday we had a bowling party with his school friends. He had a dinosaur shaped cake for his party, which he loved because he loves dinosaurs. We also had a tea for the family, and another cake, which my mum kindly made. It was delicious. He got loads of presents, his favourite of which a robot dinosaur which talks and roars. He won’t stop playing with it. The other day he made it go over to Amelia and Alessia and roar at them. Alessia wasn’t fazed but Amelia burst into tears. He quickly went over to her and picked her up for a cuddle. She loves cuddles with her big brother.

Milena turned 7 on July 1st, I can’t believe how big my oldest baby is. She’s so independent now. For her birthday we had a mermaid pool party complete with a mermaid! She bought little tails for the girls to wear, which they all loved. Milena loved splashing about and flicking her tail about. She kept screaming: “look mummy I’m a mermaid!” Her cake was a mermaid tail, which she made me take lots of pictures of. The girls each got a mermaid gift bag to go home with. We also had joint a family tea,  for both  Milena and Evelyn’s birthdays, though this time Sean’s mum made the cake. She asked for money so she could buy what she wanted but we got a few things to open. We also got her tickets to Disney on Ice, which we know she’ll love.

Evelyn turned 6 on July 2nd. She had a unicorn themed party and all the girls wore unicorn headbands. We decorated the dinning room and playroom with unicorns and pink and purple clouds. We played a game where they had to burst balloons with the horns, which they enjoyed a lot! She had a cake with a unicorn horn coming out of the top, which she just loved. We also had unicorn cupcakes instead of fairy cakes, which were very popular. All the girls got a unicorn gift bag to take home with them too. We had a joint family tea to celebrate both girls birthdays. She got plenty of presents but her favourite was tickets to see Disney on Ice with me and Milena in December. She danced around the living room with them in her hand singing let it go!

Harley is now 21 months and trying to talk so much. He can say me hungry and me tired now, which is so cute. He can run pretty good now too, and he runs about all over the place. It is a pain in the arse keeping up with him, he doesn’t stay still! He loves playing with his baby sisters and his big brother and sisters. He follows them about constantly, especially Milena because she’s his favourite. He hates being in his pram but loves his trike, just like her!

Amelia and Alessia are 8 months old tomorrow and growing so fast. Alessia is crawling really well already and Amelia’s catching up with her. They both love solids and neither fussy eaters but both are quite messy eaters. They both love rolling from side to side and playing with each other. They hate to be apart when playing but they prefer to sleep apart. We never let them share a crib because it can be quite unsafe but they never fall asleep together on their mat. They always fall asleep once they’re placed in cribs.

I will try to do a proper update on each of the kids at some point.

This week we had sports day and it was a pretty hot day that too but the kids were such troopers taking part in sack races and egg and spoon races. We took Harley and the twins to sports day too. Harley kept trying to join in. JJ and Evelyn’s teacher gave him and egg and spoon and let him toddle alongside JJ, which he loved. JJ ran the running race for his year group and Evelyn won the egg and spoon race for her year group.  Milena’s team won the relay race for their year group, which she was really happy about. She kept chanting “we won mummy, we won!” Sean even took part in the parents race, which the kids all thought was really funny. They had fun cheering him on from the sidelines chanting “come on daddy, come on daddy!” They all came home with little certificates thanking them for taking part, which I thought was super cute. I think it teaches them its not all about winning, its just about taking part and having fun.

We’ve also had some really sunny weather although it rained most of the day today. We’ve been getting out and enjoying the sunshine. We’ve been to the beach a few times and spent lots of time at our local park. The kids break up for the summer holidays next week so its going to be even more hectic in our house but I can’t wait.  We’ve got lots of fun actives planned for the summer holidays and we’re hoping to take the kids camping again. We went last year and the kids just loved it so hopefully we’re going in mid-august. Just hoping we get some good weather. Soggy tents aren’t fun!

See you again soon!

Love,

[poemsforcowboys]

What a Feeling // Freddie Mercury

Chapter One  Chapter Two 

Pairing: Freddie Mercury and Katy Newton (OC)

Summary: Before she moved from London to New York at the age of thirteen, Katy Newton had always been friends with Brian May. He was the only one she knew who encouraged her creative side, especially her designs for fashion and makeup. So much so, that Katy is hired as Queen’s newest stylist. But what she doesn’t expect is her knew found friend, Freddie Mercury. Will their casual flirts lead to anything of substance? Or will their relationship just become another lost love as they both make their journey towards self acceptance.

Warnings: there will be smut eventually but not in this chapter, bisexuality (?), feels 

CHAPTER THREE 

“Newt?” Brian was proud of himself for coming up with the new nickname as he scanned the extensive menu of the small New York cafe he and his friend had met for breakfast in. It was adorable, with light yellow walls and peach undertones, they sat in comfy lime green large chairs, it was unlike any he was familiar with in England.

She looked up from her sketchbook and smiled, she rather liked that one.

“They don’t have tea here” he stated, a little flabbergasted, as he continued to search the menu in disbelief. Katy chuckled.

“Some places have it, Bri but some places don’t, it’s not as popular here as coffee” Katy used her now navy blue painted fingernail to direct his gaze to a large section of the menu, listing the different coffees served. He huffed and shook his head.

A short while later, they placed their orders and began to catch up. Katy showed him some of the designs she was working on, he had always encouraged her to make what she wanted, and soon the two were talking again like nothing had ever changed.

But things had changed. Things were constantly changing, Brian felt like every day was a new adventure, one that would take him farther from home. There was something that he saw in Katy,  it reminded him to take a break. That’s why he was ecstatic the entire time they were in that cafe, Katy just assumed it was because of the show and their reunion but she knew there was something else, she just didn’t want to push it.  

Finally, their tealess meal arrived and Brian knew it was time to “spilled the beans” (an American phrase he was extremely happy to have picked up from Jo).

“Katy” he took a cautious sip of his coffee and instead of her name, his funny reaction to its bitterness caused her to look up.

“Last night was fun, yeah?”  he asked, she smiled and nodded.

“Fun’s an understatement! Even when I fixed John’s pants” Brian just smiled, she had created the perfect way for him to tell her.

“Y’know, Debbie’s quit” he stated, taking another sip of the coffee, he didn’t like it but for some reason, he kinda liked it.

“Yeah, I heard Freddie screaming to your manager about it” she replied, not having the most sympathy in her voice. Debbie was the one who had originally sewn the pants John ripped last night and Katy could tell that she wasn’t the best at her job.

“Did ya also happen to hear what our manager said back to Freddie?” his smile grew larger every second. But Katy returned it with a confused look.

“No, I didn’t, what are you talkin-”

Brian interrupted her out of excitement.

“He saw what you were doin! Katy, he wanted me to ask ya if you were willin to come with us on our tour. Apparently Freddie talked you up” Brian was hesitant to relay the last part, but at the same time he was thankful that Freddie had helped to create an opportunity for Brian to see his friend maybe every day.

Katy’s eyes just widened, neither of the acts she had done last night were to insinuate this in any way, and she was in awe that their manager took notice to her. She was also a little confused. Freddie “talked her up?” What did that even mean? They had only met that night. She decided not to ask about it, she had a feeling that Brian wouldn’t be too keen on the idea of her becoming so interested in his cocky bandmate.

“I- I don’t know what to say, I mean, I’m-”

“Katy, we’d be paying you, you could show your parents that you can actually make a living off of what you want to do, not just that law shit” he egged her on. He had gotten his chance to do what he loved, and wanted nothing more than to let her have that same happiness.

Katy hadn’t thought about that. She felt her eyes beginning to well up, what if she actually showed them? Or, what if they never spoke to her again? In theory, her mother loved what Brian was doing, but would she let Katy bask in the same light? The proposition was overwhelming to her, and Brian got up to hug her, he didn’t care who was around.

“I mean, I don’t know Bri, I would be honored, but my mum, you know her” she hugged him back, her head only really reaching his mid chest.

“I know, but well um” there was a second piece of news that Brian had received since parting ways with Katy shortly after she had repaired John’s pants the night before.

“What is it?” Katy asked, it was now him who was struggling to speak, he didn’t know how she was going to react to what he was about to say.

“Your mum actually called me this morning” he started, and Katy groaned.

“She wanted to know if I wanted to come over for dinner tonight, and well, Freddie took the telephone from me and said he would love to. Your mum thought it was Roger who was speaking so she invited them all over too”

Katy stopped hugging him and just stared. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. She thought. Brian with her family was one thing, but everyone else? This might even hurt her chances of being able to work with them on their American tour.

“Bri, I-”

“I know, but your mum is so excited, I never remember her actually being excited. Maybe you can bring it up to her tonight after she is so impressed by our manners” Katy couldn’t tell if that last part was sarcastic or not, she only perceived this as being able to go in one way: an absolute nightmare.

- 

Katy was just as nervous several hours later as she fixed her hair in the mirror. She hated the fact that she had to be more reserved around her parents, tying her dark hair into a neat low bun. She put on a black turtleneck with sleeves that ended just above her elbows and white shorts, it was summer after all. She still couldn’t believe she had agreed to this. If it wasn’t for the prospect of a new and fulfilling job possibly starting tomorrow, she would never have found herself in this situation, more worried than ever.

She made her way down the stairs, wanting to see how the cooking that her mother had insisted on doing was going. She ran into her little brother, who was trying to figure out how many people to set the table for. James was way younger than Katy and now thirteen, he wasn’t even born when they had made the move.

“I think there’ll be eight of us, let me help you with that” but before Katy could fully extend her arms to take some silverware, the doorbell rang. She froze. They were here already? She looked at the clock, it was her who was running late, not them, she had no idea how time had slipped away so quickly.

Katy rushed for the door, but her mother beat her to it “Kathryn, make sure the chicken doesn’t burn, please” she said, shooing both Katy and James off to the dining room before opening the door.

“Brian, dearie! Oh, you’ve gotten so big!” all four of them were standing there, Freddie even holding a bottle of wine, but Clara Newton ran straight to hug Brian. Even standing on her toes to kiss his cheek, he hugged her back, not as hard as she was holding him, and managed to make out a “thank you” through the suffocation.

Roger coughed. “Why did no one tell me Katy had a sister? Freddie did you call dibs on her too?” he winked at Mrs. Newton. No one was sure how serious Roger was being, but it caused both Freddie’s face and Clara’s to turn bright red. Roger was an asshole, both Brian and Freddie could agree on that at the moment. Freddie hadn’t even told Roger anything and he was already making things worse.

Mrs. Newton’s eyes squinted at the last part Roger said, turning to Freddie and looking him up and down, causing him to become extremely uncomfortable and self conscious about the outfit he was wearing. Brian had told him to dress “appropriately” so he had chosen one of his “safer” outfits, a white button up (although he hadn’t exactly buttoned it up), a red velvet jacket, and very subtle eyeliner, more for him than anyone else. He extended the wine bottle and she took it, smiling politely but still cautious.

“I’m actually Kathryn’s mother, but you’re sweet, come in and make yourself comfortable” she laughed to Roger, taking the wine bottle but deciding not to comment on Freddie.

The Newton home was a modest one, decorated in earth tones and covered in art and houseplants. They’re small black lab, Rocky, was only a puppy and stumbled into the room, making his way towards Brian to lick his boots. Although it wasn’t the same dog that Katy had had in England, it was sweet that he approached Brian with the same curiosity Katy’s old dog Finn did, and Brian received this curiosity with the same slight wave of anxiety.

Freddie looked around the room, Katy was nowhere in sight. He was really hoping tonight would go well and she would be able to join them on their tour. He had only spoken to her for a little bit, but the conversations they had had were fascinating to him, and he couldn’t stop thinking about them, to be honest.

Instead, a young boy with curly dark brown hair entered the room, chasing after the small dog, who was now nipping at the hem of Roger’s bootcut jeans.

“Sorry ma’am, he’s only a couple months old” James apologized, taking the small dog into his arms. Freddie burst out laughing and came over to pet the small thing, gaining a new respect for who he suspected was Katy’s brother.

Roger huffed. “Why do people ALWAYS do that” he stated, punching Freddie in the arm lightly for laughing.

“Have- have you looked at yourself, Rog?” John was also laughing. Roger hit him too.

“Hey guys! Bri, it’s been like forever since I’ve seen you” Katy let out a chuckle as she walked out of the kitchen, James mentally thanked her for ending the conversation he had accidentally started.

“That it has” Brian hugged her again anyway. Freddie wanted to say something, but he wasn’t quite sure what. There weren’t many moments he felt like he was at a loss for words, but the way that Katy looked tonight made him feel like he had forgotten how to speak. Her outfit really was quite simple and modest but for some reason he couldn’t stop admiring her legs and curves. John lightly kicked his foot and muttered something like

“Stop staring, Freddie.” Freddie cleared his throat, turning his fascination to the ceiling, he had no idea what John could possibly be talking about, and the light fixtures suddenly were very interesting.

Katy’s mother entered the room again, happy to see that she was talking to Brian. She clapped her hands, instantly gaining the attention of everyone, Freddie made note of the tactic.

“It’s time for dinner, if you could make your way this way” “Lovely home, Mrs. Newton, truly”

“Why thank you, John” he was always the best at impressing parents, Brian came in a close second, and whether Roger or Freddie was last was a heavily argued debate.

They took their seats at the small table, it was kind of a tight squeeze as Brian was arguably twice the size as Katy, his knees hitting the top of the table every time he laughed. During their meal, James asked John what his favorite lyric he had ever written was, and each of them took their turn replying with heartfelt responses, taking a few moments to really think about it.

“I was really proud of-”

“You call me sweet like I’m some kind of cheese? That one truly moved me Bri, I swear it did” Katy smirked, interrupting him and causing him to scowl.

“Ha!” Freddie laughed before quickly closing his mouth “I thought I was the only one who loved it, it truly was your best work, dear” he and Katy shared the laugh, looking into each other’s brown eyes, eventually everyone else joined in when they realized the sarcasm radiating from the two. Brian just glared.

Dinner was interesting to say the least, the red wine that Freddie had so graciously brought made the conversations flow a little easier for everyone, a lot easier for Freddie.

“And so, what I’m saying is,” Freddie took another long sip, he was sitting next to a very confused James, who was also trying to avoid Roger’s eye contact, they were sitting right across from each other. Freddie was in the middle of telling a story, one that no one was quite sure what direction it was headed in.

Katy, nervous, continuously glanced over at her mother. She seemed to be enjoying herself, thank god, even though Roger making the usual flirty chit chat that he was best at. She only hoped that the happiness would continue into the night, long enough for her to ask about the tour.  

“Brian was going to be an astrophysicist, Roger a bloody dentist! But now? They’re part of a band with a chart topping song! Not to mention enough pounds to support our families, and if that” he took one more sip, James couldn’t stop staring at the singer’s heels. Katy made eye contact with Brian, hoping Freddie would stop.  

“doesn’t tell you to follow your dreams, I don’t know WHAT does” he smiled, winking at Katy, her mother choked on her water.

Katy froze, why would he say something like that.  

“Freddie, can we PLEASE just eat our food” said John.

“Well” her mother cleared her throat. “I am glad that your talents have taken you that far. You should consider yourself lucky” she said coldly. James stared at his plate, now too nervous to admire Freddie’s shoes any longer.  

“Clara, this has been a wonderful meal, thank you” Brian said suddenly, he couldn’t have been more angry at Freddie.

“It really has, the potatoes were delicious” John added in, also aware of the situation. Freddie didn’t regret what he had said. He knew Katy was talented and that that talent would take her places too, he didn’t deny she would prove her mother wrong one way or another.

“I wish we could stay for longer, but I think we must be going, we’ve got interviews early tomorrow morning, but Clara, you are truly a gem” even Roger piped in, his addition making her crack a smile. Katy had to admit she appreciated that.

“Alright, well thank you all for coming, it’s been a pleasure” “The pleasure is all mine Mrs. Newton.” Roger kissed her on the cheek.

One by one, they cleaned their plates and helped Katy and James clear the table. Although Freddie didn’t regret what he had said, he still tried to be extra polite to everyone since that remark.

Eventually they filed out, each saying their goodbyes to Katy’s mum and younger brother.

“Goodnight, Katy I hope it goes well, best of luck to you and hopefully I will see you tomorrow” Freddie shyly hugged Katy, this time being aware of how loud he was talking and making sure her mother couldn’t hear it.

“Thank you” she smiled, hugging him back, a little surprised at his actions. She hoped she would see him again too.

Eventually the house was quiet again, except for some faint barks from Rocky, and James, Katy, and her mother were left sitting alone on their brown leather couch.

“So Mum” Katy started, more nervous than ever.

“Are you dating Brian?” her mother asked excitedly, James also looked at her a little expectantly.

“No! Mum for the last time, I will never be dating Brian, that will never be what one of these conversations is about” Katy laughed nervously.

“One of these conversations, Kathryn is everything okay?” her mother asked, furrowing her eyebrows and starting to look worried.

“Yeah, mum, everything is great actually but um, you know how Freddie talked about following your dreams and actually becoming successful?”

Now, her mother’s eyebrow was raised in confusion. “I do remember that, yes” her voice grew a little colder.  

“Well, Queen’s manager has asked me to join them on their American tour. I’d be their designer and stylist, Mum, I’d be getting paid and working normal hours, and I would be doing what I loved” Katy was hesitant to start, but with every word she became more confident and sure of herself. James let out a squeal, the whole night not wanting to admit how much he had enjoyed being around the band. Her mother just stared at her, unsure of what exactly to say.

“They really asked you this?” Katy nodded, trying to search her mother’s eyes for any hint as to what she was going to say, but all she saw was brown.

“They did Mum, they’re a band in extremely high demand and they asked me, their tour manager Mum, not even Brian, asked me to work for them”

“Kathryn I,”

“Oh come on Mum she’s been waiting for this for ages” James interrupted her, his help was necessary as he always brought their mother back to reality.

“Well” she started sternly “as long as they will be paying you, and as long as you keep yourself out of trouble, and in America, I don’t see why not. You’d just better be sleeping in your own room every night unless it’s Brian’s and make sure he protects you I don’t want my Kathryn getting swept up in-” she was interrupted again, by Katy’s tight hug.

“Mum I promise I won’t let you down, I will write and call to you and James every week I promise I promise I promise” Katy could not stop smiling, she couldn’t really believe what was happening. She was actually doing it. She was going on tour with her best friend and some already amazing people, doing what she loved most in the world.

Katy could cry, and she did. Her brown eyes welled up and she thanked her mother again before running upstairs to call Brian, James quickly running after her.

“Katy” he hugged her “if you’re gonna call Brian, I think he’s still outside” he said laughing. They walked over to her window, to see all four members of Queen still at her house, sitting on the hood of their car. Freddie had asked for a cigarette break before they left, but at the same time he was hoping for one more chance to see Katy. He got that chance.

She smiled and excitedly opened her window, scaring John and causing him to stand up from his seat and look around, he spotted Katy and waved.

“Guess who’s your new stylist?” she called out, James giggled from behind her.

They all started to cheer.  

CHAPTER FOUR 

AN: thank you guys for reading! so, these updates came out fairly quickly but chapter four might not be done for another two or three days. I would expect something definitely by Tuesday night :) 

tagged: @come-with-me-and-imagine, @mimisfangirlfantasy, @runawayxwithme, @feministsatanworshipper, @axxl-rose  

[weareimprobable]

Almeida Young Critics review The Paper Man

We had the distinct pleasure of welcoming the Almeida Young Critics to The Paper Man at Soho Theatre a couple weeks ago. The Almeida Young Critics are a group of 10 young people aged 15–25 who work with the Almeida over a year to produce responses to theatre across London.You can read more about the group here.

Here are a few of their responses to the show 👇

Minna Jeffery:

Sometimes touching, sometimes joyful, sometimes uncomfortable, and always complicated, I’m finding The Paper Man a tricky show to review. In some ways that implies that I found it a tricky show to watch, but I didn’t really, mostly. I found it funny and engaging and o p e n.

So what is The Paper Man about? It’s sort of about football. Originally, it was supposed to be about the eponymous ‘paper man’, Matthias Sindelar, once the world’s best footballer, who lead the Austrian team to victory against the Nazi orders. An apt story of resistance in a time of escalating far-right violence. The idea to make a show about Sindelar came from Lee Simpson, Improbable’s co-artistic director. Simpson cast four women to help him make and perform the show (Vera Chok, Jess Mabel Jones, Keziah Joseph, and Adrienne Quartly), and quickly found that they were resisting the direction he wanted for the show, uninterested in making ‘yet another show about a dead white man’.

I would say there are broadly three things going on in The Paper Man:

1. The telling of the story of Matthias Sindelar, complete with evocative shadow puppetry (Jess Mabel Jones) and mournful cello playing (Adrienne Quartly). 2. The telling of the performers’ own relationships with football, from Lee Simpson’s self-confessed addiction, to Jess Mabel Jones’ tale of pulling boys from the sidelines of school games. 3. The telling and showing of the making of the show.

The Paper Man shows its workings, laying out pieces of the puzzle one after another, saying ‘see, this is how we got to where we are now, and where we are now is how we got here’. I tend to feel some resistance towards work that places a lot of its emphasis on ‘process’. It can feel a bit unready, a bit like you’re seeing the bits you shouldn’t be seeing, stuff that’s unfinished. Or it can also feel like ‘oh wow what a beautiful, transformational, formative experience these guys have had in making this, which I didn’t get to be a part of, and what I’m seeing is that being condensed into 90 minutes and it feels slightly unsatisfying’. I think it’s really hard to pull off process heavy shows, that put the rehearsal and making on stage, but The Paper Man does it. It does it by making that its subject. Ultimately, for me, it’s a show about telling and making, about how we tell stories and make theatre now in 2019.

I read that The Paper Man was devised through using Open Space Technology, which is a system through which the work/agendas are shaped by the people involved – diminishing hierarchy and inviting fluidity and openness, a process called ‘self-organising’. No wonder then that it ended up like this, with lots of different things going on, different threads, and everyone seemingly talking about what they want to talk about. That really excites me as a working practice, but also slightly scares me as an audience member.

Unsurprisingly, given its genesis, it’s quite episodic. I’m not always sure of what each episode is doing, but I enjoy each one in some way. And even that thought I just had there is written in to the show. There’s a bit where the show’s sound designer Adrienne Quartly comes on stage to a song (I think it was Pet Shop Boys’ It’s A Sin) and holds up placards telling the story of how formative this song was for her as a teenager. At the end of that bit Lee Simpson comes on and says something along the lines of ‘ok well I’m not really sure why that bit’s relevant to the show…’. I mean, same, but I don’t mind that it was there because I really enjoyed it and found it touching and relatable (particularly as a queer woman I guess?). The point is, they know exactly what they’re doing. The show is constantly self-aware.

There’s clear affection between Lee Simpson and the other performers, and at the beginning and end of the show they really seem like a cohesive ensemble. But a lot of the time they do also seem like an entity separate from him. The Sindelar bits, largely led by Simpson, are the most traditionally ‘theatre-y’ bits. These sections are often very beautiful, but they do feel remote from the cast members’ own stories, which feel much more immediate and ‘real’ (whatever that means). It’s weird watching that dynamic between the two forms played out on stage, and I’m not entirely sure what the end result is and what I think about this opposition.  

Looking back at the notes I took whilst watching I can see that I’ve scrawled ‘openness’ and ‘vulnerability’ several times. The heavy use of improvisation and the performers’ own biographies both feel open and vulnerable, and openness and vulnerability can really feel like endearing qualities in a performance. And The Paper Man and all its performers were, indeed, very endearing. That might sound a bit patronising, but I don’t mean it to be at all. There’s a real feeling of generosity.

It’s great to see a diverse group of women performers given prominence on stage, taking control of the narrative and being themselves unapologetically. But I do think that the show necessarily puts a lot on the women involved, asks them to share a lot of themselves. The pro of this is that it’s them taking up space and making their voices and narratives heard, but is that at the expense of giving part of themselves away? There’s a bit where the four women get audience members to pick personal questions out of a bowl for each performer to answer. Lee chooses not to take part in this exercise. The idea of these questions is that they make the participants vulnerable, which then creates a closeness between everyone involved. We, the audience, are involved insofar as we pick the questions, but we’re not giving anything of ourselves away. It’s a weird power dynamic, and this section, for all its generosity and openness and charm, does feel uncomfortable.

I really liked this show. It’s a living, breathing piece of work, a little bit different every night, always moving and changing. I’m a theatre-maker and, specifically, a dramaturg. I’m constantly examining my own and others’ working practices, so that inevitably made this an exciting show for me. It’s about what stories we choose to tell and how we tell them and what we as artists want to participate in and the work we want to make and how we value it. Listen, this review was squeezed out of a document containing over two thousand words of notes. There are bits in there like ‘the set is germane, playful yet somehow also ominous’, which I’m just not going to address now because this particular review doesn’t feel like the place for that sort of thing. Suffice to say that it’s a sticky, fun, complicated, show that does something very exciting in addressing how we make work in this current political and artistic moment. Just go and see The Paper Man so we can talk about it, yeah?

Bellaray Bertrand-Webb:

What can I say about the Paper Man? It wasn’t a traditional play but rather a real show. The performers play with the audience and with what is real and not. There was so much meat on the bone it is hard to shred down. Essentially, Paper Man is about 3 women reaffirming their identities. They do this by reclaiming a space traditionally dominated by white men, the stage. The arc of the story is that the Improbable co-Artistic Director Lee Simpson, has brought them together to tell the story of  Matthias Sindelar captain of the Austrian football team in the 1920s and 30s. To the dismay of Lee, the 3 women attempt to reconstruct the story, to take control and reuse Sindelars story for their own purpose. They will not just tell another white man’s story; instead they will rebel.

One of the ways they deconstruct Sindelar’s story, is by giving each character the spot light to relay a football memory. Not shying away from the stereotype that women don’t like football. Keziah told her story whilst playing football with Lee the only white male in the show, who ironically cut the story short by walking away. Vera Chok’s narrative was through a silent dance, the music trapped in her headphones, made it strangely moving to watch her jump from one side of the stage to the other, with just her breath as music. They were experimenting with how you tell a story, the power of the narrator and the different forms one uses for articulate truth. 

For me, what made this creatively disjointed performance click, was in one of the many moments the actors broke the forth wall. In this specific scene, they turned to the audience and asked them to take a question out of a hat to then ask it to one of the actors. So, Keziah cheekily ran up the stairs to her mum who was sitting in the back, having the best time, and asked her to choose a question, which she then asked Jess: Do you think humour can easily cross the line to be offensive? Jess responded quickly with a no, and then said it depends who is saying the joke and then retracted the latter and stuck with the original no. For me, this specific question and this specific answer summarised the play. This question serendipitously responded to an earlier scene, whereby, Jess, Keziah and Vera, dressed in their black and white football gear, wearing Hitler’s moustache, dancing to heavy grime music and on occasion incorporating the Nazi salute with the Eminem rap battle arm bounce, while the sound technician, Adrienne Quartly, held up a sign saying Feminazi. 

Writing it down plainly it does seem like a cause of concern, and probably makes you think- that is the definition of humour becoming offensive. But to be in the room and to have the previous scenes amounting to this moment, it made it almost revolutionary rather than baselessly offensive. For me, they were reclaiming an insult thrown left, right and centre by misogynists around the country. To me, it was a big ‘fuck you’ to the suppressors, oppressors, fascists and so was an empowering act to witness. 3 women from African, Chinese and British decent were having so much fun by using dancing to dominate the stage and show that they are proud of their feminism, owning the insult and in doing so ridiculing it. It made me question, what is offensive? What is humour? What is a revolutionary act? Obviously, this could have gone unbelievably badly and most of the time, it is the oppressors who feel comfortable enough to make offensive hollow jokes. But when executed well, it is liberating. 

Similarly, Sindelar, protested on the football stage. Sindelar was told to loose or draw to the Nazis but refused and consequently won against the Germans. Sindelar then walked to the Nazi delegation and danced a solo, silent, Viennese Waltz. For me both acts of protest were extremely powerful, they didn’t chain themselves to objects, shout, resort to violence, or remain subdued but rather, they translated their frustration and presented their identities through something joyful, un-seemingly political and in a way silent. For Sindelar, some believe this led to his assassination of Carbon- monoxide poisoning a few months later. Witnessing the Feminazi dance in this context I was reminded of the freedom we have on stage and in this country, our lives aren’t on the line, but we still have causes to fight for and to play with. We can have the last laugh.  

A Paper Man is clearly a feminist piece but also has the bravery to critise itself. They recognise the issues with white feminism, with a moving and deliberately awkward scene where Keziah tells Jess and Vera that the first woman football player was in fact a black woman called, Emma Clarke in 1800s as opposed to the famous white female football player Lily Parr in the 1920s, who was their poster girl for feminism and football throughout the show. Jess and Vera respond to Keziah’s sheepish reveal by saying, ‘we can’t tell everyone’s story’. Mic drop. Advocacy has its limits and that boundary is race. The scene ends with the 3 seemingly politically conscious women, shying away from the issue of white feminism and institutional racism, they have a cautious disagreement and each abort the stage. This conflict further highlights how complicated all the issues the play addresses are. There are fine lines between feminist fractions, between experiences, between doing something right and doing something wrong, between comedy and offense. Having fun and rebelling. We are all on the brink of paper thin boundaries.

Pamela Vera:

My thoughts of the Paper Man…..on paper.

Improbable co-Artistic Director Lee Simpson, a former-football-addict wanted to retell Austrian footballer Matthias Sindelar stand against fascism in 1939 Nazi Germany, ‘Nazi and football’ was the premise, however, the thanks to his diverse and outspoken four-female co-stars, it was reduced into a small sub-plot. . Keziah, Jess, Vera and Adrienne richly layered the narrative with intimate discussions and debates, about race, stereotypes, and of course gender. Creating a half-acting, half-Q & A, participatory political production with backstage segments that ultimately felt like a conversational social commentary.

As the cast reviews their own progress in between scenes, Vera, dressed in black sportswear asks ‘If we need another show about a dead white man?’ whilst casually stretching. In the era of #MeToo, gender pay gap scandals, Irish Abortion Referendum, the answer points to no. An answer that the show illustrates with fun quirky flare, whereby several narratives are told in conjunction with Sindelar’s rise and rebellion. This features monologues of football memories, a sort of backstage expose in which the cast eats, changes and discuss the show and its topics; culminating into a commentary on racial and gender inequalities, with the treatment of football greats Emily Clarke and Lily Parr symbolising the difference of ‘girly goals’ and ‘boys goals’. I’m aware of the oxymoron, illustrating how history glorified dead white men, to contrasts how other greats are discarded due to their race and gender; as to just producing a show that focuses on those unrecognised heroes and heroines in their own accord. However, the irony is so creatively executed, that it powerfully exemplifies the injustices, helping to make the Paperman one of the most idiosyncratic shows that I have seen.

The exposed set of a white framed pillar, with wooden stools scattered across the stage also instrumental to the play’s authenticity. Much like the narrative, a layering process ensued; the cast overtly constructed the set in front of the audience, during scenes. They added white curtains, tinsel, created paper projections of the dancers to the soothing violins and the visuals of fluorescent lighting, creating a lively disco atmosphere. Even the sound designer is on stage throughout the play, dressed understatedly, like the rest of the female cast who  were in either jeans, sportswear and plain tops. The DIY feel to the set design mirrored the show’s experimental essence, producing an immersive environment. As an audience, you were no longer just watching a social commentary, but also a participant. This added a lively unpredictability to the show, making the skilled actors think and react quickly, with impressive comical timing.

The show’s endearingly immature tones were cleverly offset with transitions in composition that forebode upcoming segments of thought-provoking conversations about racial and gender inequalities. The simplicity of Lee, a middle aged man, in jeans and a shirt, just standing to narrate the details of the Nazi’s systematic killing of Jewish people was an unsettling reminder of the two sides of humanity.

The show’s premise of ‘Nazis and football’ is not something I would’ve relied on for laughs,  but laugh I did, along with everyone else. There were a few times however, where boundaries were crossed. Imagine, one minute you are swaying in a fun sing-along, then next minute there is an unnecessarily overly sexualised dance of three 20-something females dressed as referees, with Hitler mustaches, finishing off with a Nazi-salute.

So word of warning, the Paper Man might not be everyone’s taste. For some, it could be a crude kerfuffle, for others bold and brilliant. For me, it was the latter; complex topics told with an authentic accessibility.

[yourkeeperoftherunners]

Gentle Monster Epilogue

Plot: AU All he wanted was a home, but it seemed like he was never going to get one. You wanted a friend who would keep you company. Upon stepping into the mystical pet shop tucked in the back alleys of a tourist area of town, you had no idea what you were getting into when you signed the paperwork.

Rating: PG (Language)

Characters: Dog Hybrid!Chanyeol x Female Reader, Magic Pet Store Owner!Kris, Dog Hybrid!Baekhyun, and mentions of other OT12 hybrids and owners

Notes: This is part of @oh-beyond‘s hybrid series – she gave me her blessing to write one for Chanyeol. The premise is slightly inspired by the manga Pet Shop of Horrors with differences (Ex. Chanyeol’s human form is only visible to the reader and Kris in private and Kris matches pets with appropriate owners versus Count D who used the animals to teach owners a lesson.) Chanyeol’s breed is a Great Dane Doberman mix (called a Doberdane), which is inspired by the writer’s own dog. The title was inspired by a real life experience when a young girl (same height as my dog) rounded the corner in a shop and saw my dog for the first time. (She dubbed my dog “a monster dog” when she ran to tell her dad because she had never encountered a dog as big as her.)

All content is fictional!

Banner created by me. Absolutely no reposting anywhere else as your own!

Ch. 3

Chanyeol stroked your hair as you slept soundly, smiling as he gazed upon your peaceful body. Out of concern for your well-being, he had turned off your alarm, reasoning that you could use the rest after a stressful night. Sure you might not be happy to learn what he had done, but he thought you needed a day off. 

He frowned when he heard your phone in the other room and pouted, wishing he didn’t have to move from his spot beside you. You were still asleep and hadn’t heard the phone buzz on the counter in the kitchen. He slipped out from under the covers and tried not to disturb you as he headed out to the kitchen to see who it was.

He frowned as he looked down at the screen and saw a woman’s name, unsure of who it could be. Well, it seemed rude to not answer, so...

“Hello?”

“Oh Y/N? Did I dial the wrong number?” the secretary asked.

“Oh no this is her phone,” Chanyeol responded as he pressed the phone against his ear. “I’m her...friend! She’s sleeping now but I can –”

“Chan, who are you talking to?” you asked as you stumbled out into the kitchen, messing up your hair.

He ducked his head and mouthed that it was a woman. You held out your hand for the phone and he passed it over with a sheepish look.

“Hello this is Y/N.”

“Hey! Wanted to call and check up on you – we heard about the incident at your complex. My God, are you okay?” the secretary asked.

Your eyes widened when you heard her voice and you glanced over at the clock to see what time it was. Crap, you slept in and had missed a meeting already! What happened to your alarm clock?!

“Your boyfriend answered and said you were sleeping,” she continued. “By the way, he sounds cute. Anyways, we just wanted to hear if you were okay – glad they caught that guy harming you.”

“Please tell our boss I’ll in right away!” you said as you began speed walking to your room.

“Oh no sweetie, stay home please! You have plenty of vacation banked up – take a day or two! The boss understands and he said you deserve a break. Don’t rush in here after a stressful night,” she reassured you. “No, I mean it! Stay home, pet Puppy for me, and let the cute boyfriend take care of you. Okay?”

You frowned at her sentence and stared back at Chanyeol. Wait, she could hear his human voice? Hold up – she thought he was your boyfriend?!

“Did we lose connection?”

“Oh um no! No! I’m sorry, uh yes I’ll take a day off,” you said as you sank into a chair. “I’ll see you tomorrow then. Thank you.” You hung up and Chanyeol padded over to you with a guilty look.

“I’m sorry Y/N, I turned your alarm off so you could sleep more,” he admitted. “Last night was scary and you needed the rest. I heard your phone and didn’t want to ignore it so, I answered.” He clasped your hands in his and gave you a pleading look. “Please don’t be angry, I only wanted to take care of you.”

You tilted your head and shot him a knowing look. “Next time Channie, please don’t turn my alarm off unless its the weekend. But you were right, I needed to calm down after last’s night nightmare.” You closed your eyes and mulled over the secretary’s words again. She heard his human voice.

“I promise I’m not sending you back Chan,” you began, “but if my secretary could hear your voice, then I think we need to see Kris again to figure out why that was possible. I know she does not have a pet because her husband has allergies, so something’s up. Do you feel any different?”

He shook his head and agreed that seeing Kris would make sense.

“Did you lose a dog miss?” an elderly gentleman asked as you passed him, Chanyeol’s leash in hand.

“Oh um, no – I’m uh, going to adopt one!” you came up with quickly. You pointed in the direction of Kris’s shop and explained there was a pet store down that area.

Chanyeol caught up to you and he smiled brightly at the elderly man before greeting him. The man returned the greeting before noticing Chanyeol’s dog collar and frowned.

“Is that one of those punk trends you young bloods are into these days?” he asked as he pointed to the collar.

Chan tilted his head in confusion and you fibbed that it was, grabbing your dog’s hand as you hurried toward Kris’s shop. Once both of you had gotten cleaned up, you brought the leash but felt funny clipping it onto Chan’s neck, instead choosing to carry it. This time when you went out, people commented on the cute, child-like young man who was behind you, greeting everyone with a big smile. A few noticed the collar around his neck and you were regretting keeping it on him.

A random girl had stopped him during your walk over, flirtatiously trying to give him her number. Chan looked surprised but he quickly grabbed you in a back hug and murmured in his deep baritone voice, “Sorry Miss, but I’m hers!”

“Welcome to my – oh um, hi there!” Kris greeted when he saw both of you enter. He bowed his head and apologized to the mom and daughter who were admiring Tao on the counter. You shot him a polite smile and mouthed to take his time, gingerly leading Chanyeol over to a tank of fish to look at.

“I like this cat, he’s handsome!” the daughter remarked as she stroked Tao’s head.

“You’re going to take care of him?” the mother asked.

The girl rolled her eyes and huffed dramatically, “Mom, I’m 18! Not 8, I can handle a cat like a grown adult!”

Kris chuckled at the daughter’s response and produced the contract for the pair to review and sign. Chanyeol glanced over at Tao for a moment before you tugged on his arm to keep his eyes on the fish. You shot him a look and he took the hint, nodding as he remained silent. These two had no idea what kind of a pet shop this was and you didn’t want to scare them away if it meant Tao getting his forever home.

Once the pair finished the paperwork and departed, Kris walked over to you, motioning to the back. You and Chanyeol followed him and he led you to his office, closing the door behind you.

“First off, Chan’s not coming back,” you stated before Kris could ask. “We’re here because something’s changed.”

“Actually I was going to ask if you were okay,” Kris replied. “Saw the papers today and was glad they caught your ex. Albeit he should have been locked up sooner, in my opinion.” He glanced over at Chanyeol and tapped his index fingers to his lips. “Changed how?”

You relayed the accounts of this morning up to the street encounters on the way to the pet shop. Kris listened carefully and he glanced over at Chanyeol occasionally. After you finished, he pushed his chair back and produced Chanyeol’s file from a cabinet and placed it on the desk.

“That’s Chanyeol’s file,” he began, “my father brought him over from South Korea before he passed. At the time, he was mum about the shop and what it was like. Like everyone who steps through these doors, I had no idea what I was getting into.” He opened the file and pushed it towards you.

The documents stated that Chanyeol had one other litter mate that survived – a sister who was adopted after birth. The parents were split up and adopted by other owners and Chanyeol was taken overseas. Chanyeol frowned as he tried to picture his life before the shop but gave up and pouted.

“You were very young Chan,” Kris said. “Technically you should have been raised by your mom until you were fully grown, but the owners of your parents didn’t want to deal with puppies, hence the quick arrangements.” He flipped to a scribbled note in Chinese and translated it for you. “His father was a regular Doberman. Mother was the Great Dane and while my old man never saw her human form, he sensed something different about her. Also unusual that she only had 2 pups instead of more.”

“So...this condition is from Umma?” Chanyeol asked after a long pause.

“Possibly,” Kris said. “Apparently your sister never had the ability to take on a human form, which is why there’s some confusion about you receiving the trait. My guess is that it passes down maternally to male descendants – this would fit with Baekhyun-ah and some of the other dogs that were here in the shop.” He flipped through the rest of the file and tried to read his father’s spidery handwriting. “Import and customs docs – not much help there...hang on! When I was a boy, my father pointed out Chanyeol to me and said that he was a unique case.”

Chanyeol blinked and pointed to himself in confusion. “Me? How?”

“That’s just it, my old man was a master of theatrics!” Kris sighed. He leaned back in his seat and huffed. You pulled out your phone and started researching magical dogs for grins. You used your thumb to scroll through the results and you chose one on the fourth page about an old Anglo-Saxon myth on a myths fan page. You sat up straighter and showed it to Kris.

“I know Chan’s from Korea, but this myth from Anglo-Saxon mythology kind of fits with what happened to me,” you replied.

You glanced over at Chan as you read off the blurb, which mentioned a story of a family attending an animal auction when they needed protection. Because they couldn’t afford much, they were only able to adopt the runt of the litter, which the town mocked them for. Their youngest daughter of the large family took to him because she was always ignored in her family, raising him to be a loyal, helpful dog. One night wolves invaded the town and began killing and eating livestock. The youngest daughter was out trying to retrieve eggs from the henhouse when she was cornered by wolves. Hearing her cries for help, the family dog came to her rescue and defended his little mistress. He sustained wounds from the fights but refused to leave his frightened owner’s side until she was safely inside. He collapsed and the youngest stayed with him, crying that her dog had died saving her. But a god had looked down on them and healed her loyal dog, having fulfilled his purpose of finding love and protecting someone selflessly. Knowing the youngest was next to marry, the god changed her dog into a human, who would eventually become her husband.

Kris hummed once you finished and he nodded his head. “I know you found it on a fan site, but I have a feeling I’ve heard this somewhere too. ...So are you the youngest in your family?”

You nodded and explained that you had an older brother and a sister. “Brother’s 5 years older and sis is 2 years older,” you said. “I wasn’t planned but they welcomed me all the same. But I didn’t get everything I wanted like your stereotypical bratty youngest born. Remember when I said I never got to have a pet as a kid?”

Kris nodded and reassured you that he never assumed you had been a spoiled youngest child. Chanyeol had been silent, listening to both of you discuss the possible reasons for why he seemed to be stuck in his human form. He wished he knew why this was happening, but with the way things had transpired, he wasn’t complaining about his situation. He knew you would be a good owner who wouldn’t mistreat him and maybe you needed someone to share a little love that was missing right now in your life. His hands closed around yours and he squeezed them with a smile.

“I said I’ll keep you safe – that meant for as long as you have me,” he reminded you. “I’ll admit I like the sounds of that story you told us – maybe that’s why I’m human now.”

“Works for me,” Kris murmured with a nod. “Oh and Y/N? I think its safe to ditch the collar – doubt you want people thinking you control Chan in, um, some kind of way.”

“Kris-hyung, what do you mean? She is my owner,” Chanyeol protested with a confused look.

You blushed and stood up to loosen Chanyeol’s collar. Once you made it bigger, you prompted Chan to close his eyes before tugging it up and over his head. He was like a wide-eyed child, naive to the innuendoes you’d have to explain at a later date.

“Channie, I’ll explain it to you another time,” you said with a fond smile. “For now, let’s go home.”

Chanyeol was on his feet in seconds and he eagerly began leading you out the door. “Can we cuddle under the blankets when we get back?”

You laughed and ruffled his hair. “Course we can.”

[natteryaktoad]

“Right then, Anchor, theater time!” Sharla said, strapping her son into his carseat and then going around the other side of the car to get into the drivers’ seat.

“Are we weally gonna dee da Gwuffalo?” Anchor asked as Sharla backed out of the drive. “De weally weal one? Will id ead me?”

“It’s just a man dressed up as the Gruffalo,” Sharla explained, turning onto the highway. “That’s what the theater is, remember, people dressing up and acting out stories.”

Anchor sighed. “I wis id wad a weal Gwuffalo!” he said.

Sharla smiled, glancing back in the rearview mirror to see Anchor snuggled down in his carseat.

“Mama, do boyd who are four have napf?” Anchor asked.

“If they need them,” Sharla grinned. “If they’ve got an exciting day ahead of them, and need a nap in the car, I don’t see why not,” she said.

Anchor closed his eyes and stopped talking, and Sharla continued to drive. After a couple of miles, she became aware of a pickup truck tailgating her. She sighed and slowed down to increase the distance between her and the vehicle in front. Why didn’t this idiot just overtake her, already? - there was plenty of room.

But he didn’t overtake, just stayed right behind her. Sharla found herself speeding up a bit, out of nervousness, even as she tried to keep her distance from the car in front. Why wouldn’t the pickup just overtake?

Suddenly, the pickup put on a burst of speed and rammed into the back of Sharla’s car, pushing her off the road. Sharla screamed as they crashed into a tree which grew by the side of the road. Sharla was hurled forward into the airbag, then jerked back by her seatbelt, showered by broken glass. Anchor screamed too, jolted out of his sleep.

“Anchor!” Sharla screamed. “Are you okay?”

“Id hurds, Mama!” Anchor sobbed. Sharla tried to turn around to see him, but she found she couldn’t move. The rearview mirror had twisted around and she couldn’t see Anchor in that, either. Sharla tried to open the door, but it hurt too much to move her arm. She reached across herself and tried to open the door with her other arm, but the door wouldn’t budge.

“It’s okay, Anchor, we’re going to be okay,” she told him, hoping it was true.

It only took a couple of minutes for help to arrive, but it felt like eternity to Sharla. Soon, though, a man was picking his way down the verge from the highway, a cell phone in his hand.

“Ambulance is on it’s way,” he called. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Sharla forced out, although she was far from fine. “My son - please, he’s in the back.”

The man walked around the car and Sharla heard the sound of a door opening. Anchor was still screaming, but he stopped momentarily when the door opened.

“Hello, are you hurt, mate?” the guy asked.

“My doof,” Anchor moaned. “An my yeg.”

“Tooth. And leg,” Sharla translated.

“Yeah, I see it - his leg’s twisted a bit under the carseat - want me to try and get it out?” the man asked.

“Please,” Sharla said.

Anchor screamed again, but it seemed the man had managed to get his foot free, because he quickly subsided into sobs.

“It’s going to be okay, Anchor,” Sharla said again. She managed to take off her seatbelt and twist around in her seat to look at her son, fighting through the pain this movement caused.

Sharla heard sirens, and within two more minutes, paramedics were at the car. The first paramedic carried Anchor up to the ambulance, whilst the second worked with the man who’d called the ambulance to help Sharla scoot over to the passenger seat and leave the car that way, since the driver’s door still wouldn’t open.

At the hospital, Sharla and Anchor were both checked over. Sharla’s wrist and Anchor’s leg were both x-rayed, but luckily neither were broken. They sat together on one bed as doctors removed the shards of glass from their faces and Sharla’s arms.

“My doof,” Anchor said again. “Mama, my doof hurts.”

Once all the glass was out, the doctor looked at Anchor’s mouth. “A dentist will need to see that,” he said. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Mama, are we dill goin do da deeada?” Anchor asked.

Sharla shook her head sadly. The show had started ten minutes ago. “Not today, baby. I’m sorry. I’m sure we’ll be able to reschedual for another time.”

“Mama, why d’we cwash?”

“I don’t know, baby,” Sharla said. She wasn’t about to tell her son they’d been run off the road - he didn’t need to worry about that. Sharla was worrying though - had it really been deliberate? Or just bad driving? Had the driver of the pickup even stopped? - she hadn’t thought to ask.

The doctor came back. “We’ve got a paediactric dentist on site, who’s coming down to take a look,” he said. “Also, the police are here to speak to you.”

Sharla left Anchor with a nurse whilst she went to talk to the police - she didn’t want him to overhear the conversation. She she got back, Anchor was lying back on the bed and a woman Sharla guessed to be the dentist was looking into his mouth.

“Can you remember what happened to hurt that tooth?” she asked Anchor.

Anchor nodded. “When we cwashed, I band my mouf on da dide od my dardeet an’ id wad ow!”

Sharla started to translate, but the dentist stopped her with a smile. “I got it,” she said. “I’m used to listening to patients try and tell me things with their mouths wide open and half a dozen instruments in there. Well, Anchor, I’m afraid that tooth’s going to have to come out. It’s very wobbly and broken, and if I don’t take it out it’s going to hurt you a lot, okay?”

“Oday,” Anchor said. “Will id hurd?”

“Yes,” the dentist said truthfully. “I can either just pull it straight out, which will hurt whilst I’m doing it, but then it’ll stop; or I can give you a shot to stop it hurting, but the shot itself will hurt a little bit, and your mouth will feel funny and numb for a few hours. You might not be able to eat much for the rest of the day. But I think it’s nearly out already - it should be fine to pull it out without the shot.”

“I needa ead!” Anchor told her. “It my birdday! We havin’ dake!”

“Oh, we definitely need to do this without the shot, then,” the dentist smiled. “If you’re having cake. Happy birthday, Anchor - how old are you today?”

“Four!”

“Wow, that’s pretty grown up.”

“Yeah, an I’m vewy bwave,” Anchor said, lying back with his mouth wide open again.

“This okay with you?” the dentist asked Sharla, who nodded her consent.

Anchor was brave, and the tooth was out in seconds.

“I i all une?” Anchor asked thickly, though the gauze the dentist was holding to the place his tooth had been.

“All done,” she nodded. “If Mum can just hold that on-” Sharla moved over to take over holding the gauze to Anchor’s gum “-then I can show you.” The dentist showed Anchor the tooth. Sharla was amazed at how tiny it was.

Anchor made a series of noises which Sharla correctly guessed was him asking if he could take the tooth home, a request which she relayed to the dentist.

“Of course,” the dentist said. “I’ll put it in a little bag or a jar for you.”

“If you put it under your pillow tonight, the tooth fairy will come and give you some money for it,” Sharla told Anchor, as the dentist walked out.

“Ow mud?” Anchor wanted to know.

“I’m not sure,” Sharla said. She have to put some feelers out and find out what the going rate was these days. When she’d been little it had been a simoleon for the first tooth, 50p for the second, and 20p thereafter, but she figured with inflation it was probably a lot more these days.

About five minutes later, the original doctor came back with Anchor’s tooth in a little plastic bag, and told Sharla they were about ready to discharge the two of them, so she called Isaiah to come pick them up, since the car was a write-off.

[niel-trbl]

Hi Hello

Neighbour!Kang Daniel AU

Note: this is what happens when you spend too much time at home, often meeting neighbours and have a soft spot for Kang Daniel

EDIT: you guys, this has gotten so many notes i am honestly shooketh™. thank you so much for reading and do look forward to my next one! you can request if you want anything’s cool really hehe

it was the start of the summer break and instead of flying back home, you decided to stay and make use of the time to explore the city a little and let loose

it has been a while since you last clean up around the apartment so you decided to get to that to kick start the long break

the moment you stepped out of the apartment to throw out the trash, you were greeted by a baby girl (her name’s Luna) waddling towards you and giggling

you were familiar with her, your neighbour would babysit her almost everyday, you often played with her whenever you see her outside of the apartment

“Luna!” suddenly a tall figure came and carried her in his arms

he had such a lean body, the muscles on his body were defined

HIS BROAD SHOULDERS

you then realised that he didn’t have a shirt on and quickly kept your eyes to the ground

“hi!” you looked up as he greeted you with a smile

oh boy was he cute

“oh hello?” you could stare into his eyes for ages

“erm… oh right, sorry i need to throw myself- i mean the trash” he giggled while you quickly made your way to the rubbish chute

way to go ______, you made yourself sound like an idiot

when you came back, you see that he was still walking around hand-in-hand with Luna

“Luna? hello” you said as you crouched down to match her height and she walked right past you, classic

“don’t worry I get the same treatment too,” he laughed

both of you exchanged smiles once again before you went back to your apartment

you looked into the peephole and saw that he was still playing around with her

it made your heart skip a beat, seeing that he was so good with Luna

you kept remembering his laugh, how does one laugh so handsomely? and his smile. his eyes! you could look into them forever

you realised that you’ve never seen him around before

was he a new tenant? or is he the repair man?

or maybe even, he’s the father to the child? this was something you wished wasn’t true at all

you suddenly remembered how your neighbour mentioned that the father of the child worked overseas and he doesn’t come home as often, so you thought maybe he indeed is the father

maybe that’s why he's so good at taking care of the baby

you decided to get over it before you fall way in too deep

a few days later, you decided to head out for awhile

you’ve been cooped up at home for too long, it’s a good way to get some fresh air

when you locked the door behind you, you heard a familiar voice greeted “hi there!” and you froze, recognising that voice

it was that cute, broad shoulder guy - the guy who is possibly the father of Luna

quick, pretend that you don’t remember him!

“oh hello?”

“you don’t remember me? remember the other day? you were throwing yourself, i mean the trash out and I was out here with Luna?”

oh my goodness how can I forget that I indirectly said that I was the trash? fml something i would say irl tbh

“oh right! couldn’t recognise you there for a moment with the shirt on. wait, just, never mind,”

smooth move _______

he just laughed it off as he stood beside you in the lift

“your daughter’s really cute. Mrs Kang takes care of her really well,” you said to break the ice

“wait I’m sorry what?”

“Luna? She’s your daughter, right?”

he started laughing hysterically, his eyes turning into crescent moons

“you’re a really funny person, you know that? Luna’s not my daughter,”

you blinked your eyes in shock at him

“wHAT?”

“and Mrs Kang is my mum. My name is Daniel,”

something just clicked in your head

your neighbour have mentioned once that her son’s coming home, she probably told you during one of your late night conversations when you just got home from school

“OMG I am so sorry. You know what, just ignore me okay. I’m such an embarrassment,” you said as you got out of the lift

“hey, you’re not an embarrassment. c’mon, how about we grab coffee and maybe start over?” he quickly stood in front of you

“I’ll even pretend that nothing happened before this"

you pondered over it for a bit and thought, a little company wouldn’t hurt so you took up his offer

Daniel got really excited and held you by the wrist then led the way

he told you about wanting to go to this cafe that he has been eyeing on ever since he got home

the moment both of you reached the cafe, you were like !!!

“i used to always go to this cafe!” (back when you were free from the craziness that is school)

both of you ordered your drinks and sat by the window (aka your usual spot) and talked about almost everything

about school, family, work, Peter and Rooney - the cats you often see around which apparently belonged to him

that was also how he learnt that you are a cat lover like himself (he even sneakily suggested on bringing you out on a date to the cat cafe)

he also brought up the time when both of you first met which made you face palmed yourself (mentally)

“it was so hot that day, i just had to take my shirt off. i’m so sorry our first meeting had to be that way,”

“no no it’s fine really! i didn’t mind the view- IT, I MEAN IT”

your habit of accidentally verbally relaying your thoughts = the reason why you are single TRUTH

“i am so sorry. i am so embarrassing. if you don’t wanna hang out with me anymore, i totally understand”

“no! you’re actually really funny. i don’t think you’re embarrassing.” he laughed, showing off his bunny smile

“actually… i wanted to get to know you after we first met. i was waiting for you to head out of your apartment again but you didn’t. so i thought maybe it’s not meant to be till today, when we coincidentally met. I’m really happy that you said yes,” Daniel smiled shyly

you buried your face in your hands, touched by his words

“anyway what did you do in your apartment the whole time?”

“OH well you know… just lazing around, trying to recover from that embarrassing moment”

note to self - stop blurting out your thoughts

from that day onwards, both of you spent a lot of your days together, gradually being more and more comfortable with one another

you even shared inside jokes and gave each other nicknames

“why do you call me kid?” you asked him

“because you’re small and cute” lowkey want to fight him but you know you can’t coz you’re smol

both of you too enjoy going to the cafe, cat cafes, watching movies, going for karaoke sessions

sometimes you would just hang out at his place or at yours (did i say sometimes? i mean MOST of the time)

his mom is always glad to have you around, since you often help her with some work

“you know the other day, mom called you her daughter in law. you know what that means?” Daniel starts wiggling his eyebrows at you

“wha- KANG DANIEL STOP”

actually you weren’t sure if you were dating or just friends, you were stuck in that grey area

both of you didn’t really declare it as it is, you just went along with whatever you were feeling

though there were times where he seemed very boyfriend-like, it really made your heart flutter

like when he helps you to put on your shoes (even when you insist that you could do it), giving you his hoodies when you’re cold (it is now a growing collection in your wardrobe)

and especially when he's taking care of Luna and helping his mom

you genuinely do like him but you were too shy to express it

but when you do try to express it, you end up blushing so much and he’ll start teasing you about it

one of the days, the doorbell kept ringing in the early morning, disturbing your deep sleep

annoyed by it, you dragged your feet to answer the door in your just-rolled-out-of-bed state

when you opened the door, you see a sleepy Kang Daniel (looking REALLY adorable) with messy bed hair and a giggly Luna in his arms

“change of plans, let’s stay in” he said with a yawn as he sat down on your couch, while Luna played with his hair

he later explained that his mom had to run some errands so he has to take care of Luna for the day

you didn’t mind it, after all you love spending time with Luna

both of you decided to head over to his place since most of Luna’s things were there

while he gave Luna a bath, you prepared a quick meal for the three of you and fed the cats

after entertaining Luna for a bit, both of you decided to bring her to the swimming complex nearby to cool down from the crazy heat

so with Luna in your arms and Daniel carrying the bags, the three of you head off to the pool (ngl you guys look super cute, very family-like)

you guys had fun teaching Luna how to swim and stuff like that

halfway through Daniel decided to take off his top claiming that he was ‘feeling warm’, subtly showing off his arms and muscles

you knew he did that just to get a reaction from you, in which HE SUCCEEDED

you couldn’t even look at him properly and blushed so much to the point where Luna started patting your cheeks in attempt to rid of the redness

after a long day, it was time to head back home

on your way back, a lady approached both of you, offering you a handheld fan to keep Luna cool from the hot weather

“what a sweet couple! your baby is very cute”

“wHY THANK YOU! we should get going. let’s go babe,” Daniel replied as his arm wrapped around your waist

(you lowkey started using the fan coz it was getting HOT all up in here)

istg Daniel will use every opportunity he gets just to see you flustered

“hey wifey” he winked

“KANG DANIEL”

when you got home, you started cooking dinner while he gave Luna a bath

you were cleaning up in the kitchen when you felt someone brushing your hair back

when you looked back, you see Daniel smiling sweetly to you

“hey kid” he held onto your shoulders “it smells good!”

“well i tried my best. where’s Luna?”

“she’s drinking her milk at the living room. she’s gonna sleep soon”

“i’ll check up on her once i’m done here. you can go ahead and shower then eat dinner”

“thank you so much” he gave you a side hug, his lips almost touching your forehead

if anyone saw this moment, they would think you guys are a married couple, being all cute and domestic (yES I APPROVE)

you quickly snapped out of it when your heart started beating like crazy and went to check on Luna, without realising that you ended up falling asleep

when Daniel stepped out from his room after freshening up, he was greeted by your peaceful self beside Luna

he brushed your hair away from your face, silently observing your features

“beautiful” he whispered to himself

little did you know that he shared mutual feelings with you

after spending the day with you today and seeing how you took care of Luna (and also him), he knew he wanted to spend his life with you

even just seeing how you helped his mom, he knew you were the one

every time he thinks about how it’d be like if both of you got together, it’ll never fail to make his heart flutter

but the thought of you possibly not returning his feelings made him hesitate

this was the first time he felt so strongly towards someone, he didn’t want to mess it up or lose the spark that the both of you have

in that moment, his mom just got home and saw that scene

“oH MOM! haha when did you reach home?” he quickly stood up

“i just got here,” she went to the kitchen to check out the dishes “wow, something smells good"

“________ cooked for us earlier. She’s really good,”

“as expected from my daughter in law” she smirked, as she started scooping out some food for herself

“mom… do you really think of _______ that way?” he slowly approached her

“of course! i wouldn’t have called her that for nothing. why? wait... do you also see her that way?”

he nodded shyly then let out a soft giggle as he buried his face into his hands

“well you better tell her before it’s too late”

since it was getting pretty late, Daniel decided to bring you back to your apartment

(being the gentleman he is) he carried you bridal style to your bed

you started mumbling and wrapping your arms around him, he wanted to melt coz of your cuteness, he ended up grinning so widely

he managed to tuck you in bed without waking you up

he sat beside you, running his fingers through your hair when you suddenly held his hand

“can we please stay like this Daniel?” you hugged his arm, which shocked Daniel (he thought you were awake)

then realised you were just sleep-talking when you started telling him to stop stealing Rooney from you

but it did make his heart flutter, knowing that you were dreaming of him

the next day, you woke up even earlier than usual, surprised that you were back in your bed when your last memory was being at Daniel’s place

you made your way to the kitchen to grab a drink when you saw someone asleep on your couch

when you realised that it was Daniel, you figured that he probably brought you back, got too tired to head back so he resorted to sleeping on your couch

you crouched down by his sleeping figure, watching as he breathed in and out

you pushed his hair back, letting your fingers run down his facial features slowly as you admire his sleeping state

“i wish we could stay this way forever” you whispered to yourself

just as you were about to walk to the kitchen, you were being pulled back down to the couch, now face-to-face with Daniel

“me too” he smirked as he cuddled up to you

you stayed that way for awhile, enjoying the peace and serenity and the comfort between the both of you

“________” you love the way your name rolls off his tongue

“you know, I really wasn’t lying when I said that. I really want us to stay this way forever. by that, I mean us being together,” he started playing with your fingers, not making eye contact

you were speechless, only knowing now that he shared mutual feelings

Daniel, on the other hand, took your silence as a sign that you didn’t feel the same way, not knowing that you were just too surprised to even say anything

��you probably don’t feel the same way. that’s okay. i totally understand if you don’t feel- ”

“shut up and kiss me Daniel” you blurted out, which made him turn to you, seeing you grinning to him

“gladly,” he leaned in and gave you a peck on your lips

ok blurting out your thoughts might be a good thing

[holisticsoulhealer]

Abundance - A Spiritual Story

Just the thought of abundance makes you want to sing and dance. It’s a truly happy word that creates joyful visions of plenty. There are many stories to tell and yet this next one comes up for me and it’s filled with subtle psychic properties that thrill me. So, here goes……..

One day a young woman came highly recommended to my healing center in Southern California. My mum was working there too and she came for a Reflexology class. She was living in New Mexico and was staying with a friend who was attending the class.

I loved these little intimate classes, and this one was only filled with 6 students and my mum to help us. She loved it and visions often came up with the questions and the pressure point therapy being taught. We were all cozy during these classes.

Adriana from New Mexico brought salt glow lamps that I fell in love with. I bought 4 or 5 of them, some for the center and a couple for home. She spoke of her amazing life in a round adobe home in New Mexico and mum and I swooned, both admitting we’d never been there and would love to come visit.

Adriana mentioned that her man friend who owned the home, was riddled with cancer and would I consider coming up to do a healing session with him. I jumped at the chance asking if I could bring mum with. We left with a tentative date booked and time flew and the date came quickly.

It was late spring when mum and I sat on a plane, with a rental car booked and sessions planned. All was agreed to be paid, so the trip was basically free and we were going to see a new part of the country. We were excited. We rented a car with a navigation system as I have trouble finding my way out of a paper bag.

We met Adriana at the shop she worked at, and I honked at a random woman more that 300 feet away, my mum asked me what I was doing, and I simply nodded at her. I knew it was Adriana. That’s how the weekend was going to be, filled with abundant magic.

We followed her to the adobe home which wasn’t on our maps. It was rural and it was a true Southwestern round home. We walked in to the smell of marijuana permeating a gorgeous home. The fire was lit in the main room off the round gourmet kitchen, and when we removed shoes, the radiant floor was like looking deeply into the cosmos.

That home was abundant around each corner, with a round meditation room decorated in all cream with large cream cushions and beautiful floor mats that you could fall asleep in. There was green lush landscape all around the home and teepees outside that their native American Indian friends stayed in. One of them was there to greet me, looking curiously at me. His eyes followed me the whole time I was there, especially after the most extraordinary gourmet dinner was complete.

I felt my hands burning and my mum invited everyone to leave the dining room, to move into the round meditation room, to lay the owner with the cancerous issue, at front and center of the large comfy mat for me to work. Everyone stood and held space, including the Native American, who was quietly chanting a haunting and beautiful song.

I worked in his ribs and held space. Tears flowed and my hands were like oven mitts. The burning hot sensation didn’t leave even when I was complete. The man wept with me. He held my hand in his and we both knew we had just bought him more time. The rest of our time was spent with me helping Adriana with a dinner party she was hosting professionally making paella.

My mum was staying in the home where they were throwing a drum party with a few friends. She said it was lovely when we lay in bed later discussing our very different evenings. Hers was celebratory in the abundant home and she let me know everyone except her were pretty stoned. I laughed out loud at her descriptions, as the only sober one in the house, she relayed the activities and they were truly funny from her point of view. She was laughing too.

The next day Adriana created a “tea blessing ceremony” where we sat and drank tea while meditating and viewing our tea cups for any messages, which she was adept at reading. It was a lovely experience. We all felt close and connected. She was a real gift to mum and I.

When we left there we had experienced a deeply abundant time with all the elements of healing, fun, good food, and great company. We sat on the plane talking and smiling into our own abundant experience with New Mexico and all that had come with it. We felt really lucky and our good fortune was our abundance. We traveled home with more joy than we had left with and all the excitement of the trip ahead was met with the reality of a great time.

That is abundance for me. What is yours?

As always, please share this post with anyone that you feel can benefit from it! Please like us on your social media channels and subscribe to our mailing list if you haven’t already done so… We are mailing out a monthly newsletter and a recap each week of our blog posts and interesting tidbits… This is how you can stay informed with what is new in the world of The Holistic Soul Healer!!

Love & Blessings, Ruth

#mc_embed_signup{background:#fff; clear:left; font:14px Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; } /* Add your own Mailchimp form style overrides in your site stylesheet or in this style block. We recommend moving this block and the preceding CSS link to the HEAD of your HTML file. */

Join Our Mailing List

 Get personal with your Angels!! Connect with me and see what they have to say!!

BOOK NOW!!