#related but not related but i think the reason wash and epsilon ended up in the situation they did is bc they were hyper compatible

[tvckerwash]

I hc wash and south (and by proxy, north) as all being ODSTs prior to pfl and one thing I really like about hcing them as such is that it adds another layer of depth to why they were all chosen to be a part of the recovery force.

ODSTs are a special forces unit within the marines, and they're generally used as force amplifiers and in high risk or sensitive operations. two such scenarios include the recovery or recapture of personal and high level assets behind enemy lines, as well as deep reconnaissance and intelligence gathering. ODSTs are also used in politically sensitive operations, which pfl was following the crash of the moi.

so basically, who better to be on the recovery force than former ODSTs who already have a background doing the kind of work that would need to be done?

this also adds to some of the tension between north and south as well imo, as while they're a great team who are capable of working together they clearly have two very different skillsets—south is not portrayed as someone who has the patience necessary for long reconnaissance missions, and part of the reason why team b failed so spectacularly is because two snipers and an intelligence operative are not a good choice for a smash and grab mission. had north been replaced with south things would've probably went way better for them, because south is actually fairly similar to wash in her "get in, get it done, get out" mentality, though where wash comes off as more methodical and is willing to take that "wait and see" approach, south throws caution to the wind and has a "we'll cross that bridge when we get there" approach.

this is probably why wash and south were (on paper at least) going to get eta and iota—south would've benefited greatly from having an ai that was afraid and anxious as it would force her to slow down and think things through more, and wash getting an ai that was happy and cheerful would force him to loosen up a bit and be less high-strung and serious.

[rvb-is-gay]

Final Thoughts on RVB Restoration

(note that i did not bother with proper punctuation here and additional thoughts may be added later)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT:

wow. i have A LOT to say about this

first, lets start with the things i really liked about this finale:

red team fight scenes. simmons and grif fighting the meta was so good, especially simmons being SO BADASS. simmons stans were fed well. i always love seeing the reds and blues fighting, even if theyre not good, as opposed to freelancers fighting

caboose did a lot and i think had some solid development (as much as he could get in only an hour and 25 mins, at least) and it seems like they made him less dumb?? which is fine with me, it almost seemed like he matured. i also kinda liked seeing caboose being thrown around and beaten up cause it HURT ME SO MUCH but i love being hurt (i love caboose this isnt meant to be an insult to him). it was also just so surreal seeing caboose actually being hurt in an animation because he always managed to avoid major beatings like that before. him and tucker having a brief moment together was soul crushing and i wish we couldve had more of that

tucker being influenced by the meta has been a thing since the s13 finale and seeing it actually happen was really cool

tex being brought back was kind of a meh thing for me. i think everything tex related shouldve just been left in s10 because that season really wrapped it all up nicely. i did enjoy having her back, though, just for the sake of her as a character cuz i love her. and her and church together was so fucking cute and heartbreaking

sarge dying to save caboose was obviously fucking SADDENING but also sweet in a way cause i love caboose being the honorary red member. he loves his blue son

again, simmons being a badass was so fucking good

the grimmons scene with grif saying "come with me" was romantic as hell 😭😭😭

churchs gay little pose

chex scene with tex holding churchs hand was so gjfHDJSAFKGHSDJFSDFKAS GODDDDD THIS M/F SHIP HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD

now, the things i DIDNT like:

really unfortunate that the movie/season was only 1 hr 25 mins. it really limited what they could do with the plot and characters, but i understand if it wasnt possible for RT to do more due to warner bros for example

churchs whole youtube video thing was kinda funny but also dragged on for too long and was the perfect example of "show dont tell" NOT being implemented

a lot of stuff felt ooc, like how the reds didnt wanna help caboose at all. the beginning with epsilon showing up was understandable with how they didnt want to get involved, but later on the ship they just leave caboose to be choked out by the meta? THAT part didnt feel like the reds at all. grif also for some reason was so fucking mad and yelling a lot? idk where all that came from? it was so random like grif chill dude 😭

wash just being stuck in a mental hospital for something we dont even find out about until the end, which in a story sense isnt inherently bad obviously and can really add to the narrative, but in this case it just felt so confusing and like it didnt make sense. why would carolina and the reds and blues just let that happen to wash? not to say that getting help with mental health is bad or anything, just what i mean is they dont seem to care that hes gone or anything and dont visit him and hes treated like hes crazy the whole time hes in the hospital

479er being alive was really awesome, but it came out of nowhere (i understand that this is also probably due to the runtime restraint)

WHERE THE HELL WERE DONUT AND LOPEZ THE WHOLE TIME???? lopez showed up once and donut was in a 5 second thought bubble from simmons? the FINAL season of rvb and they dont even have the full crew of characters fighting together one last time? nobody talked about them at all? come on guys

the beginning with the convention was just really unnecessary and boring

why does nobody seem to care that TUCKER IS MISSING WITH MAINES ARMOR?? it feels like everyone just got brainwashed to forget about all the years they spent being friends

what was the deal with the covid jokes 💀

sarge wouldve never let himself die to a blue

doc just dies offscreen and its only vaguely mentioned at the very end and just happened out of nowhere, almost as an excuse for wash to not be present during everything with the meta?

where the hell has carolina been? she was never mentioned once until she showed up at the end

why why WHY did GRIF LEAVE??? i know season 15 was retconned, but the fact that he CARES ABOUT HIS FRIENDS and doesnt actually want to leave them unlike what he says shouldnt have just been forgotten about. AND SIMMONS JUST DOESNT WANNA GO TO EARTH TO VISIT? HELLO THIS IS NOT THE SAME GRIF AND SIMMONS WE'VE BEEN WITH ALL THESE YEARS. wheres that tweet saying "found family separating after the journey is bs" cause thats how i feel about that. 21 years spent building up these amazing relationships between these amazing characters just for them to seemingly not give a shit about each other?? is simmons just alone in blood gulch with tucker and caboose now?? 💀💀💀

i understand because he was the meta, tucker didnt have control, but it was still unfortunate to barely have any tucker this season

i understand that the meta was a threat to everybodys lives, but it feels like everyone was just ok with killing tucker to be able to kill the meta. it wouldve been so much better and angstier if they were having difficulties with it because thats their friend

why did one have to show up. i dont really have anything personal against her as a character or anything but i wouldve really preferred any and all things related to zero to just be wiped off the face of the planet

the music was just terrible. really unfortunate they wouldnt have trocadero return :( it felt so unnerving having this weird stock music playing whenever people were just standing and talking. throughout all of rvb, 99% of the standing talking scenes never had any music so this was so bizarre

some animated scenes looked really off, idk if it was just me

one personal gripe i have that doesnt actually really matter that much to the overall season, but it really bothered me, is that that IS NOT HOW THE BUBBLE SHIELD WORKS!!! i think technically we've never actually seen the bubble shield be entered or exited on screen so i guess you could argue that it works differently from how they work in halo? idk still bothered me

this season in general just felt like an AU?? even 15 through 17 felt more real as seasons of rvb than this did, and i HATED season 16, so thats saying something

and of course, grimmons. big congrats to RT for the longest queerbaited couple in i think tv show history. this one really pisses me off the most because just. how. theres a difference between a queer ship existing because people like it, and a queer ship existing because there was actual subtext and clues and their relationship is written so perfectly and its been around for so long that so many queer people came to really love and identify with it in spite of how shitty they were treated. idc, grimmons is canon in all of our hearts, fuck that

a great point from mod janae: the whole point of rvb, which aiden price even talks about, is that they come together as friends/family and even though they individually suck, together they can do anything, and a better ending wouldve been not to bring back tex carolina or even wash but to have gotten all the reds and blues back together to stop the meta. it was never about being the strongest but about working together

in general, i did not like the season. it had a few things i liked, but obviously the cons outweigh the pros here and so overall, i hated it. i mightve hated it even more than season 16 which is insane because ill fight tooth and nail for why season 16 is such a catastrophe. really disappointing that this is how rvb ends. i wouldve much preferred a cheesy "friendship defeats the bad guy and saves the day" ending because that IS what rvb is to a degree. anyways i understand how GOT fans feel now

[sharkface-daydreams]

alrighty, AU time. some of these are partially posted. some are partially written. some of them will never see the light of day and/or are only half formed ideas shaped by delirious whimsy. but i think they're fun.

tagging @autisdicksimmons bc this is your fault (affectionate)

Thread Gulch Chronicles - the 4th wall touching cross stitch au. still haven't decided if i want to do anything related to framing

Andy the bomb but turn him into a ship ai and give him a crush on a dirty little shisno au - partially posted as of rn but the guy who works on this isn't out very much so it's in limbo kinda

Tripartite "villains in love" au (i know the name is stupid, bite me) - all take place in the same universe. stassney lives and ends up Stockholm syndromed with Felix who he rescues from dying at the bottom of the tower, locus realizes Doyle's romantic notions of soldiers are actually what's correct and either they fuck off together and Doyle fakes his death or locus surrenders idk haven't decided, and sharkface and price say fuck all this shit and fuck off into the aether for a happy ever after. there's some bits posted as the Unfettered [WIP snips] on ao3

Afterburner - Hargrove recovers Sigma and Sigma is given to sharkface to assist in killing freelancers (underdeveloped, that's literally all i have written lmao)

Double Triple - the triplets and the trio trying to make the best of their ice planet abandonment with hijinks and nonsense and dwindling supplies

Foxtrot Echoes - the honeypot au: version 1 contains no actual York ai but it's completely contrived and hinges on sharkface being a good enough actor to fool Carolina, wash and epsilon in order to get closer enough to kill them. bro fails step 1 tho and falls for Carolina and has to come clean thereby destroying the whole reason he'd confessed. angst!!! version 2 contains actual York ai but he's an early attempt by freelancer to acquire another ai so he's not technically a smart ai but he's still an ai and his and shark's psyches bleed into each other a bit

Heartstrings au - I only have Gravity posted bc tbr the rest of this is completely self indulgent Locington schmoop but I'm always a sucker for a good betrayal plotline

Shark mechanic au! the feds n news scoop up a fishy enemy and as they need all hands on deck he helps them as a mechanic and bonds a bit with the ducklings

modern band au - shark in a band with wash, south, pills and sleeves, all sorts of drama. not very well developed but lots of Sharklina angst

Xmas sharcus bit - this might get written eventually. modern au where the mercs gang gathers at Locus' for the holiday and during an argument with Felix, shark breaks an ornament that's really important to his bf locus… then works really hard to fix it but it's like glass u know so it's a huge pita. idk. Christmas schmoop, i was miserable on antivirals when i did this lol

the Sharklix "get worse together" enemies who fuck to kinda friends who fuck and also get revenge together au. unlikely to be posted, it's a little too self indulgent lol

games of the heart - au where Sharkface realizes he can't beat the freelancers physically so he suckers wash into falling for him so he can turn around and shred his heart to pieces. underdeveloped, self indulgent

get your kicks - the long haul trucker/greasy spoon waiter lolix au featuring unhappily married locus and licherally dying of boredom working for tips along the desert freeway Felix (thanks Ross for the line i took and ran with 💖) also the road is route 66 and modeled after the old route 66 on earth for novelty reasons

Lazarus - locus does his good guy shtick and returns often to help a sangheili colony and winds up with an alien baby. someone activates a temple of regeneration on chorus, and now alive Felix goes hunting for revenge. parts of this posted in scribbles n bits but it's not a full thing in the first place

the Locnut farm family rivalry au with donut and his two moms next door to locus and his two dads who are in a Midwestern rivalry but the two of them are getting along much too well

MaceFace! Mason and Sharkface run into each other at physical therapy and get chummy and eventually set out together for revenge since Lolix and the freelancers are both on Chorus

The Outriders AU - an enormous crossover undertaking with characters in the Outriders game universe… this will probably never be done but i got great plans for it. the mercs and a few others get freaky superpowers, there's an epic quest for info to secure survival, and Dr Church is trying to reverse engineer the superpowers unethically and causing problems so what else is new

MetaNut meet-cute/horny au where donut doesn't get shot bc Meta gets attached and also yanks donut over the cliff with him during the fight but they both survive and work their way back up to civilization while everyone else assumes them dead. plural meta au ✌️ also they have a little cottage with a garden and bees

the "no-PFL" SharkPrice AU where Price is hired at the same Charon building untoasted Sharkface is working security for and also Price and Dr Church are bitter exes and Church thinks Price is cradle-robbing when he sees them together

red Team Shark AU where Boose and Shark are friends and bond over losing your friends

Tear The Throat - also known as the SharKey AU (the one that comic is about) where Sharkface gets the key because he grabs it and tosses it to Felix not knowing it bonds to one person. This is a Chorus-loses AU bc they can just turn the key on the purge and call it a day and cash in.

WashFace au where Wash and Terrence were together before whatever shit happened that got Wash almost court martialed and sent to PFL, and Wash doesn't shoot when Sharkface makes his little "as long as I'm alive" speech bc he recognizes him when he takes off his helmet. and shark is like wtf you're supposed to be DEAD and gdi he can't kill wash now this is fucking unfair

extremely underdeveloped Dragon Age au with Sharkface as an apostate fire mage but like that's literally all there is to it lmao … shape shifter with dragon form could be fucking cool tho

fucking hell i forgot the Yurch au, that shit just started sprawling. yellow church gets stuck in cabooses head after church's time travel shenanigans in s3? and then yoinked out into a spare Android body and now there's a new guy on Blue team but he's church but he's not. blue church gets sent to rats nest with the others instead of isolated and they rescue all the fragments. EL/NOD AU. this is also what i made my freelancer OCS for but only Rhode island is actually in the story until they get to chorus. few variations on that one

[rubykgrant]

I would like to do Grif for my character ask :)

First impression

At first, back in the distant year of 2006, I felt like Grif had the most “regular person” vibe. Like, he’s definitely a weirdo (they all are), but he was also relatable enough I could imagine having an actual conversation with him about whatever. He was funny, a good blend of sarcastic and occasionally light-hearted

Impression now

Yes, he is indeed funny and still relatable (for several reasons), but also he’s so FREAKING IMPORTANT. Look, Grif is a dink, but he’s also way smarter than people think he is, and he does that on purpose. He complains and argues constantly, but he also cares so much; he loves his sister, he worries about his friends, but he’s just so bad at showing it! Every time he thinks he’s going to lose somebody, he tries to be the one that leaves first, almost like it will be easier if he makes everybody hate him, then he won’t miss them and they won’t miss him... but he DOES miss them, and they just don’t work without Grif. Not because he’s the “hate glue”, but because really is a “regular person”. Imagine Blood Gulch, but no Grif. He just never went there, never met any of the other characters. It would all fall apart. Not only would Simmons be even MORE of kiss-ass, he wouldn’t have anybody to talk to, he’d be miserable and isolated with his own thoughts that never go anywhere. Sarge needs somebody to back-talk him, both when he’s too over-the-top AND when he is close to giving up (Grif was the one who decided to fight to the end on the Staff of Charon!). Grif also had an interesting “frenemies” thing going with Tucker and Church. Heck, he was a major turning point during the “Evil Wash” period and the fight with the Meta. All the characters are integral to the story, but I especially appreciate Grif’s role, how it changes, and what remains constant

Favorite moment

Man, a lot... the “Why are we here?��� moment with Simmons fighting Gene, him tricking Simmons into thinking that Game of Thrones was definitely a real thing that happened, that quiet and smug little response he had when Tex asked if he was happy she couldn’t lift the bomb (”Yeah, kinda”), that time he punted robot-eye Epsilon Church, the long bitch-bitch-botch argument between him/tucker/Simmons on Chorus, him totally lying to Huggins and pretending that the movie Die Hard was his life... there are a lot of good times with Grif~

Idea for a story

I have my whole story-line with him and Simmons finally getting it together so they can just shut up and date already, but that leads to lots of little relationship stories with them... one AU I had that featured them that was pretty fun was the Little Merkid story; a young Grif discovers and then befriends a merkid, who is indeed Simmons. They were friends for about a year, until some other people discovered Simmons, captured him, and took him to a lab. Grif’s been trying to break in and help his friend escape. A new security guard, Sarge, eventually finds out what is going on, and rescues both of them

Unpopular opinion

I didn’t think it was “unpopular”, but evidently some people don’t appreciate Grif being fat? Or, they dislike the fat jokes, but the reaction to that is “Grif shouldn’t be fat at all”... and like. No. The real answer is, stop treating fat like it is the worst thing ever. Grif is FAT and strong and smart and funny and FAT. An aditional good thing; imagine scenarios in which the other characters ease-up on the fat jokes, and appreciate their friend~

Favorite relationship

If it isn’t OBVIOUS, I like me some Grimmons~ But I also appreciate the heck out of the Grif-Sibs, and I love imagining him feeling more comfortable with himself, and thus able to connect with others more, because he is a friendship magnet! He’s a good buddy to Tucker, Church, Caboose, Locus... oh, and him being the chill-mentor to Carolina is awesome!

Favorite headcanon

Of my own; he was annoyed with Matthews not just because the guy was an even MORE over-eager kiss-up than Simmons, but also; Matthews reminded Grif of Kai when she was younger, and Grif does NOT like to deal with his own emotions

Thanks for asking!

[morromasterofwind]

Rho Epsilon + The Ninjas

HI. SO THIS IS GONNA BE RLLY LONG. I’VE EXPANDED ON THE LORE OF MY OC, RHO. THANK U ALL FOR SHOWING HER SO MUCH LOVE! THIS IS A MASTERPOST OF HER BASIC INTRODUCTIONS/INTERACTIONS WITH ALL THE NINJAS. I HOPE YOU ENJOY?

Rho and Kai

She encounters Kai first out of the ninjas. Not while the group is on a mission or anything. She actually finds him in Skylor’s noodle shop, to nobody’s surprise.

They end up staring at one another from across the restaurant all throughout meal time. Rho is already fully aware that he’s one of the ninjas, as their identities aren’t exactly a secret. She’s just staring because he is and it is really weird.

Kai, on the other hand, is intrigued yet very suspicious. He asks Skylor who she is, and Skylor simply replies that she is a friend who stops by a lot. Since he knew Zane could help, Kai drags him out there one evening.

“She is just another Elemental Master. I detect no problems here. She is not causing any disturbances.” “Ya sure ok Zane w/e you say.”

Kai is 100% convinced Rho is hiding something for like the first month they know each other. This is ironic, as she ends up becoming one of the people he trusts most.

He often vents to her and discusses things he would probably not say otherwise. He’d never forgive her if he knew, but most of it at first was a result of her powers.

She wasn’t trying to pry or trick him into befriending her. She just noticed a lot of little things that were concerning. The way he’d trail off his sentences and leave them hanging during more serious chatter among the group. The rather foul and unfair things he’d mutter under his breath at himself. The way he’d stay up all night training after certain battles. It wasn’t a healthy outlet or way to cope! She thought that Wu may be the only other person who knew Kai did this.

For as vocal as he seems about what’s on his mind, there is an awful lot he keeps under lock and key. So it wasn’t exactly easy to get him to come out of his shell. It was even harder to use her powers on him subtly. She hasn’t used any means like that in a while, though. He still trusts her. She’s glad.

Rho and Zane

Zane was the one who decided to bring her to meet the other ninjas. Despite knowing the implications of her powers, he’s never had any misgivings about her.

Given that he is not technically living, it is much (much) harder and more complex for Rho to analyze his words. Because of this, Zane terrified her at first.

She respects Zane the most out of the ninjas. She takes his opinions very seriously.

There is something about him she is drawn to and can vibe with.

These two have tons of inside jokes.

She likes when he answers her questions about mechanics and tech. Jay and Nya are awful at explaining it.

The protagonist of one of the novels she’s written is inspired by Zane. She’d sooner die than admit it, though.

Rho and Jay

Easily her best friend. There is nothing she wouldn’t do for him.

On days he is feeling more down and out, she is sure to alter any quips the others try to make at his expense. Even if they are not intended seriously, in the wrong mood she knows he’ll perceive them that way. Zane usually frowns and gives her a look in response, because he can tell when she does it.

After figuring out what her power is, Jay repeatedly thinks to himself that he wishes she had been there when Nadakhan was around. What Jay does not know is that a previous Master of Language actually taught the djinn how to manipulate people’s words long ago. It was a very different time in history. Regardless, Rho would not have stood for Nadakhan at all if she knew of him. She would have been offended and found his actions a mockery of her family’s legacy. She would have been quick to remind him what that power should be used for.

Fun fact: Rho is head over heels for both Jay and Nya. It is a Big Problem and She Hates It but she is whipped.

Jay thinks it is priceless when Rho freaks out over the gadgets he and Nya make.

Their brands of humor combined are chaotic. They piss Nya and Cole off so much with their jokes. Kai and Zane are pretty indifferent. Lloyd finds them funny.

Rho and Cole

After meeting Cole, Rho pretty much can’t picture life without him.

She finds his presence extremely reassuring and comforting.

She actually enjoys his cooking? What? Girl are you okay? Don’t question it, I guess.

He asks her a lot about her powers and what she is able to do with them. He is also really interested in learning about languages that are no longer spoken.

SHE LOVES HEARING HIM SING. Or speak, for that matter. His voice is very unique, in her opinion.

They absolutely work out together. He’s even sent her his playlist.

While she really sees the others more as friends than family, Cole is definitely like a brother to her.

Rho and Nya

She’s the one who convinced Rho to stay with them. Nya even taught her how to pilot the Bounty in case of emergencies.

Rho is absolutely impressed by Nya and tries to be more like her in everything she does. Whether it be training harder, or even the way she conducts herself in the face of adversity. Nya would likely tell her it’d be more beneficial to find her own strengths rather than chase after someone else. And she’s right. But still…

She makes so many water puns while talking to Nya. Most of them actually go over Nya’s head.

She loves stealing Nya’s clothes and wearing them. They’re a bit too small for her, but no regrets. Yes, she always washes and returns them the day after. Yes, she is obsessed with Nya’s fashion sense. Mainly because she herself has none.

Most of the time, Rho and Nya will just sit in comfortable silence. Usually while Nya reads books that Rho has recommended her.

They definitely have the same taste in television shows.

Rho loves snuggling with Jay and Nya on the couch on cold days. She’ll be a jerk and slowly creep her way up there with them if she walks in and they’re watching movies or smth.

Rho and Lloyd

SHE IS OBSESSED WITH LLOYD. She always dotes on him. She’ll jokingly call him her little brother, even though she doesn’t really see him as a brother in the same light she sees Cole.

“Hey, look what my coOL LITTLE BRO DID TODAY! YEAH! HE DID THAT! MY BABY BRO!”

She’s called him “Lloyd Montgomery” rather than just “Lloyd” since hearing his middle name. Nobody really knows why.

He’s taught her so much? She wasn’t even expecting him to.

She was very shocked to find out he and Wu are related.

He plays pranks on her if she is in a bad mood. It usually cheers her up.

Her favorite person to play videogames with. The others get too salty. Lloyd is actually fun.

She appreciates his willingness to listen and heart that seeks to reach understanding with others. They’re some of his strongest traits to her, even if he struggles to stop seeing it as weakness.

Bonus: Rho and Wu

They meditate together often.

She soaks in any and all wisdom Wu has to offer. Even things she’d rather not have to hear.

Tea? Tea.

Both literal and metaphorical tea. The two enjoy each other’s company a lot? It is odd. A very odd duo.

Much like Zane, Wu will be very disapproving of her trying to use her powers on people aside from combatant purposes. No matter how slight or what the reason, Wu will always have a talk with her after.

He warns her of the dangers awaiting one who consistently bends people’s perspectives and words to their will. He confronts her by asking how she would grow if all she ever heard was the things she wanted to. He reiterates that it isn’t fair, and that there is freedom in being alive. Freedom to hold opinions and behave accordingly. He warns that he will stop her if she starts to impede on that freedom within others.

Even so, he believes strongly in her good nature. But, as we know, he also strongly believes in his experience with a certain student. He knows it is his responsibility to crush the seeds of evil before they can sprout.

[calliecat93]

RvB17 Episode 3 Review: Schrodingin’

Schrodinger's Cat is an interesting theory, isn't it folks? For those unaware, Schrodinger's Cat is a theory related to physics. Now I could explain it as it is relevant to today's episode... but I don't feel like having my brain implode today. In short, you are essentially both dead but also not dead. Just as how, as we learned last week, Wash was both shot and not shot, existing out of time. Everyone got it? No? Well too bad, let's kick this review off.

Overview

We begin back in the Everwhen as we follow Genkins and his hijinks. This includes blowing up Junior, possessing Santa to throw off Locus' reform, wreaking havoc during Season 11, and dropping a ship onto Tex and Andy. Which of course furthers fucks things up, and further brings Chrovos' freedom all the closer. So... yeah... at least we got to see Locus and Santa again. You know... for a little bit.

In the meantime, Donut has made it to General Donald Doyle Hospital, trying to see if Wash checked himself in due to the cerebral hypoxia. He, fortunately, meets up with Dr. Gray, but she doesn't have good news. While Wash had checked himself in a few times due to neck pain... she couldn't find anything wrong with him. He also wasn't quite acting right, constantly changing his story about if he had been shot or not. With no actual injuries to be found, he was continuously discharged. But it's not ALL bad. Due to Gray... stretching the truth a little, Wash got a MASSIVE payout from his medical insurance. So much that not only did he pay for a new wing at the hospital, but on Gray's advice is now investing in walking cannons... for funerals. Well, that explains the summary.

Upon getting Wash's location from Gray, Donut arrives at a penthouse where Wash's... butler leads him to the former Freelancer. When we see Wash... he ain't doing great. And not just because of the brain injury. We see that he's essentially glitching out, at first not recognizing Donut and going in between talking about the funeral cannons to being confused by what's happening and where he is. Donut tries to explain to him about what's going on, how he was both shot and not shot, and how the two different versions of him are struggling to exist simultaneously. As such, Wash has two sets of memories... because that's what Wash needed after the whole Epsilon thing! Haha... man, why does the world have to be so mean to him?

Anyways, Donut gets Wash to focus and realize what's wrong with him. As such, the memories stabilize and Wash reverts to normal. He's still understandably confused by what just happened, asking Donut about it... but also make sit clear that if he's there due to Carolina, he never wants to talk to her again. Ouch. Donut brings him back to the canyon from the end of last week's episode, breaking down the situation. Wash is understandably shocked... but certainly not doubtful considering he was just about to invest in walking funeral cannons and all. With the stakes high, Wash knows that they're going to need everyone, but the question is how to recruit the Reds and Blues in their current states? They can't exactly just go back with the Time Gun due to the paradox fucking everything up, so just kidnapping them is out. Okay, so then they just need to get to Chrovos and take her down, right? Well...

Donut brings Wash to the domain, which we again confirm is in the middle of a Black Hole. So I guess that Genkins got rid of that labyrinth that the Cosmic Powers went on about last season. But yeah due to the shield, Chrovos can't get out but they can't hurt her either. We also more or less confirm that Chrovos, like her creations, is an AI... or she says that she's an algorithm for time, but either way she ain't human or alien. But yeah even more cracks have formed as Chrovos reveals to Wash how it was him being saved that kickstarted everything and about how Donut betrayed the others, to begin with. Of course, Donut explains how he had been manipulated and after, he tried to fix everything by going through the Everwhen since Chrovos told him to go on ahead, but all it did was create more paradoxes and the guys didn't listen anyway.

Wash, however, realizes that something is off. Donut was able to travel through time without a Time Travel gun, as Chrovos said. And since Donut WAS able to snap Wash back to normal, clearly he was on the right track with his attempts with the guys. So the guys CAN be restored back to normal. But here's the question: why would Chrovos tell Donut where to use this? Sure it creates more cracks, but it also means that there's a shot at her being defeated? Well, Wash asks Donut that if he shot him.. again... where would he want to be shot at? Donut says the ears since he doesn't like them. Aka, a non-vital area where getting shot won't kill you, but will still hurt. Chrovos told Donut this not just to hasten her release, but to keep him away from somewhere else. Another point in time. A point in time where she CAN be stopped.

Where exactly? Recall that Chrovos tried pretty desperately to talk Donut out of going to after the paradox to get Wash. Why? Simple, because she doesn't want the paradox undone. If they go back to after Wash got shot but before the others went to stop it, then the events that triggered the paradox won't occur and time will be restored. Though... wouldn't that cause another paradox? No, I'm not gonna think it over. It would probably be a more minor one anyway, so whatever. But yeah, Chrovos doesn't want them to figure out that they can use the Time Gun to stop the paradox and prevent her from ever escaping.

Chrovos admits it but asks them if they really think that they have time. Wash is confident since they have the gun... before raising his gun behind him to point it at Genkins, who was approaching from behind. Donut points out that Genkins can't hurt them anyways.... but Genkins wasn't planning to. What he instead does is open another black hole, sucking the Time Gun into it. That not only traps Donut and Wash in Chrovos' domain, but it means that they can't go through the timestream properly aside from the Everwhen. Genkins heads back to continue his fun as Chrovos mocks our heroes, who are now without the one thing that could fix this mess. Ain't that a bitch?

Review

Okay, we have quite a lot to unpack here. So let's just get to the point and talk about Wash. So... I'm not as big of a Wash fan as others. Don't get me wrong, I like him and he's a perfectly fine character. IDK, I just always found him, well... boring and over-hyped compared to everyone else. But his trial last year was pretty damn hard to get through. Not just because of what it meant for the narrative and the characters, but for... personal reasons I don't feel like going into. As such, his falling out with Carolina after she admitted the truth was... really hard and outright painful to watch, though his anger is certainly justified. We all knew that seeing Wash again here was gonna hurt... and BOY did they not disappoint.

Wash's glitched form was... freaky, to say the least. Him cutting back between his normal self and the more exaggerated state he displayed when loops in Season 15. As Donut said, it's two realities righting for control. Wash had two separate memories of two different timelines in his head, which again is EXACTLY what he needed after everything with Epsilon! I'm not sure if I'd call it the freakiest moment in all of RvB, but it is certainly up there. And then after he stabilizes, hearing him say that he never wants to talk to Carolina again... that hurt. Carolina was well-intentioned in her actions, but in the end, she essentially lied to one of her longest, closest friends and it hurt him. Wash's anger, while harsh, is 100% understandable and justified imo. I feel bad for Carolina, but she lied to not let Wash believe that he was broken, and the end result only caused more damage.

But on that topic... Wash isn't broken. Something that this episode makes very clear. Is he a little slower? Yeah. Is he a bit tattered? Sure. But broken? No. s soon as Donut breaks everything down and gets him to focus, Wash is ready to do whatever he can to help, even saying that he feels he's up to fighting speed. When he gets the breakdown about Chrovos and her plans, he very quickly puts two and two together and realizes the flaws in it. He figures out where and what needs to be done in order to stop Chrovos... that Genkins went and fucked up, but that doesn't diminish the fact that he now knows how Chrovos can be stopped. He was also overall patient and thoughtful with Donut, his anger when he hears about Donut's fault immediately dying when Donut explained that he tried to fix it and telling him how he was on the right track with his earlier attempts in the Everwhen.

Wash was shown to be strategic, thoughtful, and still sharp with his instincts especially when he pulled his gun on Genkins when he sensed him approaching. He is FAR from broken. Yeah, maybe he'll need to be reminded to focus or about certain events at times. He may need to rely on others more to keep up. But he is still just as capable of a soldier as he was in the previous seasons. Brain damaged or not, the guys need his help, and he's going o do whatever he can to save them. Even against forces that are massively out of his league. I really liked how we saw Wash's strengths as a character here, especially with how harsh the plot has been on him these past two seasons. I'm sure that we're in store for pain, he still has to confront Carolina after all, but we're on the right track.

Now let's talk time travel! Whoo... Okay, so I already talked about the deal with Wash and what I think happened. He was struggling with two sets of memories until Donut got him to focus and piece together what was happening. He realized that he had indeed been shot before, and thus stabilized. I guess that the guys will need similar triggers to convince them of the impossible, but at least we now know for sure that it can be done. The only problem is that the guys don't listen to Donut. At all. But with Wash now on Donut's side, they may have a better chance on getting them to at least take it seriously. We shall see.

As for the discovery about how to beat Chrovos, it makes sense. If they were to go back to before they decided to time travel, back in S16 Episode 14, then the events that triggered this whole thing don't happen. The guys don't go back to the past. Wash still gets shot and S15 plays out as normal. They're still given the means to time travel. The difference is that Donut is likely able to use The Hammer fully, enforcing Chrovos' prison and this time there's no time crash to help them. Hell, it may mean that Huggins doesn't get 'killed' (we confirm that you can live through a Black Hole, THERE IS HOPE!) which means that she gets spared. There are several questions that pop up do to this... but you know what? Time travel sucks and we've seen that not every change will fuck everything over, so I'm going to take it.

The big problem now is that the Time Gun is out of play. This DOES raise a few other questions. Now I am going to assume that the Everwhen is more like a simulation so I can get that they can't just go along it and try the plan there. That would likely just hasten the release. Remember, the Everwhen is a period of soft time to be messed with to hasten the release since it was the original crack. So doing anything along it that changes anything is going to cause damage. They might still try, and I could be wrong, but that's my guess. Can they just get a Time Gun from The Everwhen then? Unlikely. The crack starts at "Do you ever wonder why we're here" and ends at Wash being shot. So the events from the last few seconds of S15 Episode 17 to the S16 finale never happened along the singularity. As such the Time Guns don't exist. Even if they did, IDT that Donut and Wash would be able to take them back since they can only possess themselves, not bring items to and from.

So then... how do we fix this? Right now, I have no idea. The first step though is getting everyone back on board. We now know that the guys' memories CAN be restored. It's convincing them, however, that's going to be the hard part. As I said, with Wash now onboard Donut has a better shot, but that doesn't make it easy. They don't process time as we do so convincing them of all of this, even with the deja vu, is NOT going to be simple. Might be easier for some, like I still think that Grif's gonna be the first one since he already came close to believing it. Even so, the best course of action is to focus on restoring everyone as quickly as possible, and then work out a plan before it's too late. The other option may be to get the Cosmic Powers to help, but IDT that they're going to exactly be willing to listen after last season, plus with the Time Gun gone there's no way out of the domain anyway. Our boys are really in a bind people.

Anything else I can talk about? Well... I hate Genkins even more now. I mean he blew up Junior! But otherwise, the montage was good and helped further emphasize how much damage is being done as well as the extent of Genkins' control. He possessed freakin' Santa guys! It was nice to see Dr. Gray again, and she's as great and crazy as ever. I loved it! The pacing, while still very fast, honestly... doesn't feel rushed. It kinda feels like the pacing for RWBY Volume 6, it too went fast and had little padding, but it never felt rushed or like it lagged as a result. I guess it's one benefit to having a 12 episode order, it means less stretching out and being able to get to the point. Might feel odd for RvB, but with the season becoming more story-driven, it's not a bad change. I felt like the viewing experience was worth it when the episode ended, at the very least

Final Thoughts

Good episode! We got Wash back, got some clarifications, have a clear end goal, but of course, it's not going to be simple to achieve. We're three episodes in, and I'm already getting anxious for how things are going to go. Nevertheless, I feel very invested and excited for the remaining nine episodes and for whatever Jason throws at us next. Really good episode! Let's hope that it stays that way!

[anneapocalypse]

[RvB 16.10] Tucker and the Post-Protagonist Problem

So I want to talk about Tucker’s characterization in seasons 15 and 16 (henceforth “Joe’s Tucker” for brevity’s sake), and how it relates to Tucker’s characterization prior.

I uh, realize this is a divisive issue, and you might not agree with my take on this and that’s fine—I am not here trying to ruin something for you that you like, or to force you to like something that you don’t. How characterization lands for us is subjective in a lot of ways. I just want to talk about where it lands for me, and I have some thoughts both positive and critical about characterization both past and present. And as I have a lot of ground to cover, this is going to be a long one.

A lot of the takes I’ve seen center around the idea that Tucker’s season 16 characterization—in fact, much of the tone and style of season 16 generally—is a return to the tone and style of the Blood Gulch Chronicles. I have seen this raised both as a positive and as a negative.

So let’s talk about Blood Gulch.

Tucker’s Character Arc

Let’s talk about how Blood Gulch sets Tucker on the path he will follow for the next decade.

Tucker’s hypersexualization, as the first and one of very few canonically black characters on this show, is not a problem that started with Joe. It’s a problem that’s been there, has always been there, and it’s kind of too late to retroactively fix it at this point.

You can’t go back and unwrite Tucker’s personality. What you can do is make Tucker a more complex character by developing other aspects of his personality, and that, I would argue, has been going on as far back as season 3, when he finds the sword and embarks on the Great Journey. Is Tucker’s arc in Blood Gulch goofy and weird? Yeah, absolutely, but he does have one.

Blood Gulch is a story about failure and yet Tucker is the exception that proves the rule—he ends up being the only person in Blood Gulch who actually succeeds. Church fails to protect Tex, Tex fails to kill Omega and fails to complete her final mission, York fails to help Tex complete her mission and then dies, Wyoming fails his mission and also dies, O���Malley fails to take over the universe, Doc fails at being a medic on every conceivable level, Caboose (if season 6 is any indication) fails to make Church his best friend, Simmons fails to gain Sarge’s respect, Sarge fails to kill even a single dirty Blue, Donut’s teammates more or less shut him down every time he speaks, Sister isn’t really there long enough to have a goal, Grif… well, to say that Grif fails would imply that he is trying to accomplish something in the first place, so we’ll let that one go. (I guess if you really wanted to, you could say Andy succeeds at exploding, so… that’s a freebie, you can have that one.)

But Tucker succeeds in multiple ways. He finds a special object and goes on a quest and gives birth to Alien Jesus. (Despite the apparent failure of the Great Journey, its true purpose ends up being fulfilled.) I think Tucker is in fact the only Blood Gulch character to actually defeat an enemy, when he permakills Wyoming!

And Tucker continues to grow in the Recollections arc. The ambassador gig might’ve started out simply as an explanation for his absence in season 6, and his desert predicament a way to bring him back to the story while moving the rest of the characters to a new map. But it also had the effect of adding a whole lot to Tucker’s character: new responsibilities, his relationship with his son, his ability to think on his feet and hold his own against a whole team of enemies trying to kill him. Fulfilling the Great Prophecy was not something Tucker chose. But in Recollections we see an increasingly proactive Tucker.

I want to stress two things here: first, that all of these things happen long before Chorus, and second, that none of this undermines Tucker’s established personality in any way. He’s still a lighthearted character who likes to crack jokes and make innuendos and flirt with girls, and generally doesn’t take his situation too seriously, including his “dumb job.” But that attitude also doesn’t undermine his capability, nor does it stop him from coming out on top.

In present-day season 10, while Carolina drags the Reds and Blues around the map, she gets pushback from pretty much all of them—for very good reasons. But it’s Tucker and Epsilon who take the lead in trying to get more information from Carolina—eavesdropping, prodding her for the details of her mission directly, and finally sending Epsilon to go undercover and try to figure her out. I don’t think it’s by chance that at the end, when the Reds and Blues finally turn on Carolina, it’s Tucker she pulls a gun on, rather than Grif or even Sarge. Tucker’s not the first or the only one to stand up to her, but his persistence combined with his capability does make him the most obvious threat to her control.

Tucker’s character progression has been a strong, consistent arc from Blood Gulch to Recollections to present-day season 10 to the Chorus Trilogy. The person Tucker becomes on Chorus is the culmination of a ten-year character arc, and the change Tucker undergoes on Chorus is not that he becomes capable. He was always capable. Wash sees that in him in season 11, and says so very clearly.

“You're a capable soldier, Tucker. At least compared to your usual acquaintances. You just need to try.”

Tucker grows into his capability on Chorus because his environment drastically changes. He is thrown into a real war with real stakes. He must rise to the challenges before him because to fail means to see real people die—his old friends, his new acquaintances, and the de facto team leader he has begun to regard with a grudging respect. This is important: Tucker’s arc on Chorus and specifically his arc in season 12 is about coming to recognize the stakes of the conflict—understanding that a wrong decision in this context will get people killed. He learns this the hard way, but the lesson sinks in fast, and Felix takes full advantage of that to goad and manipulate Tucker. Even after successfully reuniting with Wash and the others captured by the Feds, Tucker continues to struggle with insecurities brought to the surface by his experiences with the New Republic.

(I say “brought to the surface,” not “created,” because Tucker’s insecurities also do not materialize fully formed for the first time on Chorus, but we’ll come back to that later.)

I am not saying that Tucker’s rise to protagonist status was always planned, but I am saying that Miles chose him for a reason. Tucker’s capability in the Chorus arc is not an eleventh-hour add-on to his character. It’s always been there. Always.

“Dude, I'm kind of a badass all the time. You guys just happened to notice it then.”

Joe’s Tucker

You know what else has been there the whole time? Tucker’s insecurity.

This is an aspect of Tucker’s characterization this season that I like: the desire for approval. I think that’s consistent characterization; I think that’s been there since Blood Gulch and it was definitely there on Chorus, both in Tucker’s conflicts with Epsilon and in his growing respect for Wash.

I’ve written before about how I think a lot of the tension between Epsilon and Tucker comes from the fact that Epsilon doesn’t respect Tucker and regularly insults and demeans him--which frankly reflects far more poorly on Epsilon than it does on Tucker, but that’s another post. Wash, on the other hand, challenges Tucker because he sees him as capable, and Tucker responds, not only by growing into his own capability, but by coming to trust Wash in turn (“Wash will know what to do”) and coming to him for advice when he’s feeling down about decisions he’s made.

“Sis and Tuc’s Sexcellent Adventures” more serves to highlight Tucker’s inexperience back in Blood Gulch than it reflects on present Tucker, and that really doesn’t bother me. I am absolutely down for fumbling and inexperienced Blood Gulch Tucker versus the fucking character assassination season 14 attempted on him--yeah, let’s not get into that. Point is, nothing about Tucker’s adventures with Kaikaina early in this season has bothered me. Given the choice to see Tucker as insecure and posturing versus actively sexually irresponsible or predatory, I will take the former every time.

However. I can’t bring that up without also bringing up the “You’ve been served” gag from season 15. The implications of the Tower of Procreation are a messy can of worms that I really don’t want to get into here, so let’s assume for the sake of the argument that Joe at least intended that to be a basically consensual situation. Making Tucker suddenly an absentee/irresponsible father still feels like kind of a kick in the teeth, invoking some hardly-benign racial stereotypes and kind of spitting on Tucker’s established love for Junior--a child who was, by the way, conceived in a completely non-consensual manner of which Tucker was the victim, and whom Tucker nevertheless loved and accepted as his own once Junior was born.

Tucker was arguably the best father in Red vs. Blue, so uh. Undermining that piece of characterization 15 years in? That sucks. I don’t know how else to say it. It’s not as bad as “Fifty Shades of Red” trying to make him a statutory rapist, but it’s not great.

But let’s talk about some of the other beats Tucker hits in these recent seasons.

I laid out most of my thoughts on season 15 in my big fat RvB15 post so I’m going to try not retread too much of that here. I’ve said there and elsewhere that I think “Previously On” and “Reacts” are among the strongest episodes of season 15. Joe’s character writing really shines there across the board. Setting aside the Temple of Procreation business, Tucker hits several familiar beats in these episodes, most notably his insistence that Epsilon is Church (Tucker never really seems to draw a hard distinction between Epsilon and Alpha and I’ve argued before that this contributes to some of their tension on Chorus) and his looking up to Wash.

These episodes also introduce a new beat for Tucker that returns in “Nightmare on Planet Evil” and pays off late in the season, and that’s Tucker’s protectiveness of Caboose. Tucker and Caboose have had a tense relationship more or less from day one, each of them clearly seeing the other as competition for Church’s attention (though Caboose certainly takes that to an extreme, and his bias against Tucker probably also contributes to the way Epsilon treats him). It actually makes a lot of sense that following Church’s death, their shared grief might bring them together, and a real friendship might develop at last. Tucker helping Caboose to understand that Church is really gone is good development for both characters and it’s planted and paid off very effectively throughout the season.

Tucker’s relationship with Carolina likewise gets some good development throughout season 15, from Carolina joining the band on the moon (and singing so good), to Tucker helping her to her feet in the end sequence.

There are some moments of weirdness in Tucker’s dialogue (“me and Carolina and the Blues” comes to mind), but overall, when it comes to his relationships, Tucker hits some strong beats in season 15, both carrying forward established relationships and building on them.

And I think in a lot of ways, this remains true in season 16. Tucker and Kaikaina’s adventures have mostly surprised me in a good way. I like what they’ve added to canon both past and present. I love the serious moment the two of them share--ironically, a serious moment about how they both wish shit could be a little less serious, certainly an understandabl sentiment for both of them. It’s an important moment of continuity for Tucker after the mishaps of season 15, and it’s a nice further window into Kai’s entrepreneurial ventures.

The cyclops episode is absolutely goofy, but it’s goofy in a way that gives us some classic Tucker--both his capability and his sense of humor. That he defeats the cyclops by punching it in the ball, in a wacky action sequence complete with some well-placed innuendo, I’d say brings together those aspects of Tucker pretty damn well. If I had to pick an episode that embodies that whole callback to the Blood Gulch spirit, and Tucker in Blood Gulch specifically, I’d probably pick that one.

The thing to note about this episode is that its absurdity in no way undermines Tucker’s capability or the more complex understanding of the world he has grown into over time. I have no major complaints with this episode.

Let me say it again for those in the back row: the Blood Gulch tone is not itself a problem and does not, in and of itself, undermine anyone’s character growth.

However.

(You knew there was a however.)

There are a few specific instances where I think Tucker’s characterization weakens in these recent seasons--in ways that have nothing to do with tone.

Again, I don’t want to rehash too much discussion of season 15, but I know I was not the only one a bit discontented with Tucker’s role in the plot. Like I said, I think Tucker has plenty of great moments in 15. His role in the story, however, seems mostly to be to step aside to let the plot happen, and then to act as ineffectively as possible to make sure things are allowed to escalate. I wrote about this in my season 15 essay as well, how not allowing the Reds and Blues to be suspicious also weakens Temple as villain because it seems like sheer dumb luck rather than his own cleverness that no one catches onto him, how weird it is for Tucker to trust a stranger given his past experiences, etc. Most of this comes down to narrative issues, I think, and making Dylan the protagonist; it affects Tucker most noticeably but it’s not limited to him.

It’s Tucker going full LEEROY JENKINS that really feels like kind of an insult to his established characterization. It’s not just Chorus Tucker who is good at coming up with tactics on the fly and figuring a way out of a tight spot. He does that at the temple in Recollections. He figures out how to defeat a time-distorting Wyoming in Blood Gulch.

And as I’ve said before, you can come up with reasons why Tucker is off his game in season 15. Grief and the possibility of Church being alive is probably right at the top of that list.

But I do want to raise again the most important lesson Tucker learned on Chorus, and that’s the difficulty of making tough calls in a high-stakes situation. I don’t think Tucker making a bad call in the fight against the Blues and Reds would even be a problem if we saw Tucker consciously struggling to make that call, instead of just running out half-cocked. Instead, he acts impulsively and someone gets gravely hurt because of it, and then Tucker feels bad about it.

That’s not new character development, that’s Tucker’s season 12 arc, again. Kind of like how a villain from the past with a grudge against Carolina for the loss of someone they loved isn’t a new concept, it’s just Carolina’s season 13 arc, again. You can make it make sense in universe, but it still feels derivative. Callbacks to the tone, humor, and style of earlier seasons is fine. Cannibalizing past seasons for plot, and retreading character arcs instead of moving them forward, is not a good look.

It looks like you just didn’t know what to do with these characters, so you did something that had already been done.

And I can respect, in light of some of that criticism of season 16, that Joe is really trying to do something with The Shisno Paradox that hasn’t been done. Regardless of how this season ends, and how this new arc ends up landing for me as a whole, I can and will respect that.

Which brings us at last… to Camelto, and my take on why this episode in particular rubs me the wrong way when it comes to Tucker.

No one could call this scenario derivative of past seasons--and upon further consideration, I don’t even think I’d call it regressive--because this Tucker doesn’t really resemble Blood Gulch Tucker or any other Tucker. I mean, sure, the hypersexualization is there, as is the insecurity. But there’s a big difference between posturing and threatening to murder people who insult your sexual prowess.

And you can say I’m taking the King Arthur shenanigans too seriously, but I do find something kind of jarring about Tucker casually sending a whole army to their deaths when he’s had a major character arc based around taking the stakes of war and human lives seriously. Yeah, in a meta context, the time travel shenanigans are meant to be funny, and they’re mostly closed loops so it doesn’t really feel like anyone is actively killing anyone who wasn’t historically going to die anyway. But from an in-universe perspective, it’s kind of uncomfortably callous. (You know, the kind of callous disregard for human life that was played dead fucking straight last season when it was Carolina doing it anyway moving on.)

So, setting aside the attitude toward death, for me the whole tone of this episode with Tucker tips just over the line from “posturing and it’s funny” into “aggressively desperate to reaffirm his sexual prowess and it’s kind of pathetic and uncomfortable.” And that is not the feeling I’m used to getting from Tucker. It starts to feel a little bit mean-spirited, and coupled with the earlier episode about Tucker’s sexual missteps (which, on its own, I enjoyed), I start to feel like we’re more just dumping on Tucker, rather than giving him character development. It’s uncomfortable for me in the same way the back half of season 10 gleefully punishing and humiliating Carolina was uncomfortable for me.

And I did not feel that way last season. I felt like Tucker was kind of getting pushed around by the dictates of The Plot, and thus wasn’t allowed to be his best or most interesting self. But I didn’t feel like we were deliberately devoting entire episodes to making him look stupid.

And that’s what this feels like to me.

Taken as a whole, Joe’s Tucker has been… kind of all over the place. I can’t really characterize it one way, because it’s been a lot of things. At points I think it’s quite good, and at other points I’ve found it frustrating--in different ways.

We’re still mid-season, so I’m not ready to pass final judgment yet--this episode could end up being an outlier and if so I won’t lose sleep over it. I think I’ll forgive a lot if we just get a bit of Tucker being capable in a plot-relevant way--it doesn’t have to be a major way. He’s not the protagonist of this season, Grif is, and now that they’ve teamed up I think, and hope, that we’ll have a chance to see Tucker play a stronger supporting role.

The Post-Protagonist Problem

Lest I come down too hard on Joe, I want to point out that this fumble is not unique to either Joe or Tucker.

In what I’m going to call the “Post-Protagonist Problem,” Church, Wash, and Carolina all suffer from similar problems once their main arcs are over.

Alpha’s arc wraps up pretty effectively in season 6, but Epsilon has his own arc spanning seasons 8-10. Your mileage may vary but I find Epsilon utterly obnoxious in season 12, and I think there’s a reason for this beyond how needlessly mean he is to Tucker: he is still trying to be the main character two seasons after his main arc has ended, and thus he ends up actively fighting Tucker for the protagonist spot, and bogarting every scene he’s in.

Wash really has two main arcs that kind of fuse into one: his Recollections arc, bracketed by Freelancer and present-day season 10. You could argue that season 11 is really the culmination of Wash’s main arc, because it’s there that he truly settles into his place on Blue Team, ultimately sacrificing himself for them, even though he doesn’t die. From season 12 on, Wash doesn’t really have an arc—his interactions with Locus serve Locus’s development far more than they serve his own, and his role in the conclusion of the Chorus storyline is pretty secondary. In season 15, Wash has no active role in the plot except to get shot, and season 16—well, the verdict is still out, but his role so far has been fairly passive. (And the continuity of Wash’s characterization is fairly contentious in itself, but that’s another post. Oh boy, is that another post. We’ll get to you, Wash. We’ll get to you.)

Carolina’s main arc wraps up in season 10, she is hastily escorted offscreen for a season and half, and when she does return, it’s mostly to carry Epsilon around and say and do very little otherwise—she even gets nerfed immediately upon return. The only reason we got a Carolina mini-arc in season 13 is because fans expressed disappointment at her sidelining in 12, and Miles took note. It is also worth noting that:

Carolina’s season 13 arc has nothing to do with Chorus, does very little to advance the main plot, and does nothing to develop Carolina’s relationships with the main cast and in fact actively removes her from them for large chunks of the season.

Carolina’s role in season 15’s plot, though not an arc for her, is pretty much a retread of her season 13 arc with a different villain.

What this all adds up to is I think that Red vs. Blue in general, not just Joe Nicolosi, has trouble figuring out what to do with a character once their run as a protagonist has ended—and that’s kind of a shame, because it’s not like most of us wants these characters to go away. At least, I don’t.

There’s nothing wrong with a character taking a secondary role once their main arc is complete. But that secondary role shouldn’t discard established character development. A character’s shouldn’t have to regress simply because they’re not driving the plot. There are ways to offer follow-up to previous character development without placing a character back in the protagonist spot.

I’d argue that some of Wash’s strongest character beats post-season 10 are the ones that develop his mentor relationship to Tucker. I think both Carolina and Wash would benefit from developing their connection with each other post-Freelancer. It doesn’t have to be front and center or take up a lot of a screentime, it’s just a way to maintain emotional continuity for both characters in the background of the plot (and it can still be relevant to the plot--imagine if Carolina and Wash’s season 15 talk on the beach were about Epsilon instead of York).

Likewise, there are plenty of ways to explore both Tucker’s fun-loving flirt personality and his insecurities without feeling either regressive or mean-spirited.

I think you can have fun with a former protagonist as a secondary character while still offering up some emotional continuity through relationship development while letting plot development mostly take a backseat. I think Joe was almost there with Tucker and Kaikaina’s subplot this season--like, really close. Tucker can be silly. He can be insecure. Just don’t outright disregard the lessons he’s already learned so he can be made to learn them all over again. And do let him show his confidence and capability now and then.

[callie-the-snarky-geek-blog]

RvB16 Episode 13 Review: A Time For Hammers

(Old Blog Repost)

After thirteen episodes, Joe is FINALLY being merciful and giving us some exposition. THANK YOU RT GODS! Okay, so we’re nearing the end here people. What awaits us next? Let us find out!

Overview

Atlus does indeed give us an exposition dump. I know that some hate exposition, but at this point it is SORELY needed. So to put it simply, in the beginning there was nothing until time expanded and then came the father of the Cosmic Powers, Chrovos. Which still relates to Greek Myth as the inspiration, Krovos, was the King of the Titans and father of Zeus, Hera, and several others. Oh, he also would eat his kids… mythology is very messed up. Chrovos, who has power over time, created the Cosmic Powers and had them enslaved to do his bidding. WELL THEN. They claim to not know what the entire plan was however, only their part in it.

The Cosmic Powers however ultimately rebelled against Chrovos and the Titans, the majority killed and the rest imprisoned. The Cosmic Powers created a labyrinth within a black hole and in the center is a treadmill that they tricked him onto. So he is walking in place forever in one spot… Joe you totally stole that from Ten Little Roosters, didn’t you? Before things go any further, Sarge interrupts to ask why Grif of all people has a sword. Because he deserved it Sarge, shut up! But yeah now everyone (except Carolina) wants one so Atlus allows it… except Caboose. He wants Genkins golf club! It is what he deserves. Wash tries to ask the Cosmic Powers if they’ll relieve his headache as well, but Atlus confirms that they can’t alter the mind directly. They exist more to alter the minds of other races. So they can create physical manifestations and external forces, but otherwise they are limited in what they can do.

Before Atlus can get away from that subject, Simmons has an ‘aha’ moment. So there’s been a lot of speculation about what the Cosmic Powers are exact;y. Are they actual Gods? Aliens? AI’s? Well Simmons finally figures it out. My friends, the Cosmic Powers are indeed AI. The Reds and Blues protection? A protective firewall that prevents that Chrovos created to keep them in check’. Their current forms? Hologram projections that Chrovos setup to have them look the part of Gods to manipulate other races. The limitations? It was what Chrovos programmed into them. That’s my boy Simmons! So yea, the COsmic Powers send Huggins and Muggins away and confirm the truth. They are indeed AI, placed into devices that look a LOOT like the one that Epsilon was put into during the Recollection Trilogy.

With that out of the way, back to the exposition. So while he’s weak, Chrovos isn’t powerless. He used his power to cause a human to create a time machine, causing a leak in time. So yeah, the time machine last season? That came to be due to Chrovos. The leak gave Chrovos enough power to zap Donut and pull him into a time where he was much stronger, manipulating him into thinking that he was God before sending him back to the present with the time guns to put his plan into motion. Oh and during this, the guys say some… rather insensitive remarks about Donut. Remember this for the end my friends.

So yeah, the Reds and Blues have damaged the blocks of time and it’s apparently too late to fix it. Chrovos now has the chance to be free and time is going to topple over. There is one hope however, and that is for the Reds and Blues to go to Chrovos directly. To do this, they have to go into the labyrinth and fight through all of the forces guarding him and use a weapon made of the same material that keeps him imprisoned: The Hammer. Huh… simple name. I like it! Anywho, The Hammer will reinforce the bindings keeping Chrovos at bay, he’ll be unable to get out again, and time will be saved! You know, if they just went to them with that in the first place instead of sicing Gus… I mean the cyclops on them, we could have avoided this…

The Cosmic Powers send the Reds and Blues to another part of Starseat to let them make a decision. Oh and he also takes the swords back… except Grif’s! My boy gets to keep it! Hooray!!! Anyways, our heroes talk their options over. Simmons suggest they just go back and stop themselves from time traveling to begin with… but Carolina beings up that doing that will likely cause a paradox like Jax already said. So yeah, that’s out. Wash tries to rally the guys to go for it, pointing out that they did their best but in the end failing is the only way that they can knwo that they sucked and get better. Time traveling is not going to do anything to make it better. All that they’ve been doing is trying to relieve quilt or avoid responsibility, but the past is the past. They have to be better now because that is what matters.

Tucker argues this a little but, saying that it’s selfish to not time travel and fix their mistakes, like say… when Wash hurt people back int he day. But Wash counters that mistakes make you who you are and when you make one, you need to fix it and grow from it. This gets at least the Reds and Caboose to agree that giving up the guns is the right thing to do and Wahs even says that he’ll be with the Rdds and Blues to fight alongside them. Aww, what a nice moment! It is so swe… something’s going to fuck it up, isn’t it?

Yep. The speech causes Carolina to feel guilty about her recent decisions and she tells Wash that no, he won’t be fighting with them. The two Freelancers argue, Carolina telling Wash that he’s disableled with him arguing against it. But Carolina finally breaks the news to him. When Wash got shot in the neck back in S15 EP17, it cut off oxygen to the brain. It was only for a few minutes, but that was enough to inflict brain damage. It is why Wash is having his memory lapses, he has a condition known as Cerebal Hypoxia, a brain injury. While the significance of the damage is still undetermined, the memory lapses alone are enough to make Carolina unwilling to let Wash fight ever again.

Wash… doesn’t take it well. He snaps. Like IDT he’s ever been this angry. He snaps at the Reds and Blues, asking if they knew. They say that thy didn’t with Carolina confirming that she kept it from everyone, so they’re just as shocked as Wash is about this. Wash calms down, but is clearly hurt that Carolina would keep something that massive a secret from him. Carolina tries to explain how she didn’t want to upset him, but Wash just walks away as she struggles to find the words. Everyone is left in shock. Even Caboose wounded more well… normal sounding than usual. Damn man, just… damn.

So how can things get worst after that? Well… remember when I mentioned the guys making those insensitive comment about Donut? Well that was ultimately the last straw for him. He takes the hammer, opening up a portal and telling the others that all that they said made his choice all the easier to make. He enters the portal, heading back to Chrovos. Well… Genkins warned us that the pink one would steal the hammer. He was not kidding…

Review

Well… we were all waiting for the plot bomb to hit… and here it is… and it has left only devastation in it’s wake.

Alright, before we dive into the last few minutes, lets talk Cosmic Gods and Chrovos. So first, THEY’RE NOT REAL GODS GUYS! THEY WERE DESIGNED THAT WAY TO MANIPULATE OTHER RACES! NO REAL MAGIC OR GOD-LIKE THINGS! THEY’RE AI. WE CAN FINAlLY PUT THAT TO REST!

Okay, got that out of my system! But yeah, the Cosmic Powers are indeed highly advanced and powerful AI, kept in a device similar to the one Church was in during Recollection. Which kudos to Joe for bringing that back in! It’s something I love about this series, it always finds ways to bring back minor or even just dumb things and make them significant. But yeah, while it does beg the question on what Chrovos is (an alien? Another AI? Something else?), it is VERY relieving to have this revelation especially since there’s been quite a few people… mixed about them being Gods to put it light;y. It’s also good that there ARE some limitations, like they can’t brainwash anyone or directly affect the brain for example. They can only manipulate things externally.

This helps make sense of a lot of things. The God theme is to cause others to worship them and obey their will. Chances are Huggins and Muggins’ species were one of those races… so it’s hard to say how well they’ll take it when/if this comes out. It makes sense they they just role with it and live up to it, it’s in their programming. Like this explains a LOOOT of things… aside form the cyclops unless there’s just an alien species that look like cyclops that exist. Which I’m not going to call impossible. Hell, that would be awesome! But yeah, this episode answered a lot but kept plenty of things open, like what Chrovos’ true reasons for making the AI were and keeps the Cosmic Powers in a… morally grey area. Like they seemed like they turned on him because he limited their power and whether they’re being honest about not knowing their creator’s true intentions is very debatable. So they’re not 100% good or trustworthy, but currently the Lesser Evil. So that’s good!

Alright, so… lets get to… Donut! Yes, I’m stalling, but it’s still important. Because this episode, as well as the past two with him in it, have done an excellent job setting up his current state. During the past 16 seasons, Donut has always been kin of the butt of the joke. Gullible. Naive. A joke with a good throwing arm who is mostly forgotten. Now tbf part of this is due to Dan Godwin not always being available so RT had to limit him, but in-canon it doesn’t help. Which kudos to Dan Godwin BTW. He nailed the hurt in Donut’s tone as he repeated the insults really well. He hasn’t really gotten to emote much as Donut outside being happy, so it is SO GOOD to hear him get to use a broader range. But yeah, while Donut is absolutely making the wrong choice here, you feel nothing but sympathy for him. Because we have seen how he’s belittled by the others, some of us for years. I’d say it’s a better version of what we got with Doc last year since this time we got to see Donut express how frustrated he was and Chrovos manipulate him into his current emotional state. Very well done.

And I can’t avoid it anymore. Lets talk about Wash. First, the good to hold it off just a tad bit longer. I really loved his speech. It speaks a lot about the theme of this season to me. The theme seems to be that no matter what you do or how you try, you can’t fix the past and you shouldn’t fix the past. The past is what shapes you into the person that you are meant to be. Instead of focusing on what you could have done or what you would do, you should focus on what you can do now. In the present. That is the time that matters. Coming from Wash after everything before, ti was so good to hear. And it’s true at least to me. Something I live by is something that Monty Oum coined before, “keep moving forward”. You can’t focus on the past, you just have to continue on. So hearing this… it really resonated with me.

But of course that all gets fucked up with Carolina choosing the WORST moment to feel bad and tell the truth. Look Carolina, I’m glad they you decided to finally tell Wash the truth, but this was the WORST possible time woman! Still yeah… Wash’s reaction was completely justified. Snapping at the others was harsh, but him being that angry? That hurt that Carolina would hide that he was brain damaged? That… that is a big deal. After everything, all the trust that they had built, Carolina both hid things from him and lied to him. Yes, it is understandable why Carolina was afraid to tell him. I feel a LOT of sympathy for her because I’ve dealt with a relative having a bad memory, and it is a terrible experience. She clearly regretted it and she sounded like she was outright trying to not cry. Jen Brown did such a fantastic job, as did Shannon McCormick with the raw emotion he had to use for Wash.

But as bad as I feel for Carolina, she made a huge mistake. She hid a serious condition away from her friend. She lied to him about the state of his condition. And then she chose to tell him during a serious situation that could decide the fate of time itself. Wash had been really happy and even fooling around before this, which makes seeing him so hurt all the more painful. Things can never be like they were before and now he’s likely going to have trust issues with Carolina. What’s going to happen now? I honestly have no idea. IDT it’s going to be resolved this season, that much I know. but yeah, it’s… it’s hard. I was about ready to cry when Carolina struggled to explain everything, especially as Wash just… walked away. It hurt.

Final Thoughts

This was an absolutely fantastic episode. The exposition was good and made sense, the humor was on point, and the emotional scenes were just… man I don’t think I have words. Joe did an excellent job writing them. Well guys, two episodes left to go. I am more uncertain of what’s going to happen than I have been all season. But I can safely say that whatever Joe is going to throw at us, I’ll be here for it.

[renaroo]

The Search (16/16)

Disclaimer: Red vs Blue and related characters are the property of Rooster Teeth. Warnings: Language, Canon-typical violence, Psychological manipulation and trauma Rating: T Synopsis: [Canon Divergence - Alternate S15] The Reds and Blues saved Chorus, but it has been a year and they are still missing. A motley crew has been gathered with the common goal of finding the war heroes, though the road is more troubled than anyone seems to realize.

A/N: Another year, another season of RvB long, long out pacing my writing of an alternate universe. And the more that my worldbuilding skills get a bit of a kick in the shins. Hopefully, you all enjoyed this installment because I absolutely loved and appreciated hearing from you all throughout the publication of this fic. 

Thank you all so much for the support, the patience, and just in general the fun. 

Special thanks to @secretlystephaniebrown, Yin, Lardo137, and # for the comments and feedback!

When Will It End?

She wasn’t expecting company. At least, that was what she told herself as she sat on the ledge, staring at the small projection before her. With her helmet on her lap, the AI’s form was lower than his usual eye level, but it felt, somehow, more personable that way. She could almost drown out the words that Epsilon was saying and pretend that it was in real time. Not frozen forever in a message she had purposefully neglected to open for so long.

Carolina told herself she hadn’t been expecting company, because she almost never allowed her emotions to be worn so clearly on her sleeves. She almost never let the stray tears fall from her cheeks without recourse.

Truthfully, she had desperately wanted to be found before she got to that point. But she hadn’t, so she let the tears and emotions come as she finally listened to the brother she hardly knew’s words.

His last words. For her.

“Closure kinda sucks, because that means things are over. And, well, if you’re anything like me — and we both know, you kinda are — you’re really really bad at admitting when things are actually over, Cee. Over — closure — it’s like the end of a whole world. I should know. I spent a few months inside my own brain ending a few of them. Long story. I probably told you at least twice about it, probably on a long night where neither of us could go to sleep. Let’s just say, a memory file degrades just like a memory memory over time.

“And… I didn’t want to admit it. That it was over. That we would eventually be over. But sometimes life sucking fucks, and you don’t get to make those calls before it’s too late. And I’m… still a memory. Good or bad one, I don’t know. I don’t know how you tell which kind of memory you are. I just know that I was happy to be a memory with you, with the Reds and Blues and Wash and… Well, especially you. My time was kind of short. But, hell, aren’t all memories?

“I just knew… I had to have an ending sooner rather than later, whether I wanted it or not, so I tried… I tried to make it count. I hope it did. No. I know it did. I have faith that it did. That’s the reason I’m making these final files. Sending them out. Having faith that you’ll have another day where you can see it for yourself. Final sacrifice and what not. Heh. Who would have guessed it from a selfish prick like me?

“I guess… I guess at the end of the day, maybe you did. I know it sucks. I know it’s going to hurt. And I hate it because, well, we know each other, Cee. You’re…. you’ve inherited the stubbornness that makes an ending hurt for a good, long while. I’m sorry about that.

“You don’t like goodbyes. You don’t like endings. But I was there, I saw when you sought one out for you and York. I know it hurt when you realized you didn’t have it. Not really. So I’m giving you one. I’m giving you an ending to this. Us… If there’s some kind of digital heaven… or, well, realistically a digital Hell, I know I’ll miss you. But giving you an ending means something beautiful, something I didn’t learn for so long. Ending one chapter can take you to the next one. And, Sis, you deserve a new chapter. You’re a hero. You saved a planet. If that doesn’t get some red off your ledger, fuck the ledger.

“I love you. But, I bet you already knew that. You, and the others, are the greatest family someone could ever have. And I’m honored to always be in your memories.”

Squeezing her eyes shut, Carolina pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a long, breathy exhale she had been keeping in her lungs. She was still making no effort to hide her tears, even when she new that her wish had finally, belatedly, been answered and someone was standing on the roof behind her.

Washington was hesitant, or perhaps just respectfully distant, before he slowly came around to her side. He lowered himself to sit beside Carolina and remained somber and silent for the majority of it all.

Carolina continued to sob, because the words were the most true things she had ever heard. She didn’t want things to be over. She had spent the better part of a year searching for anything but the ending or closure to their journey. She was waiting, anxiously, to lead everyone around her right back into the loops they all had been stuck in for years.

Epsilon over her shoulder, guiding the way.

Which meant there was no reason for her to listen to his last message to her. Because it wouldn’t have been.

But the search was done, the living had been found, and what was left for Carolina was an ending she hadn’t asked for, hadn’t wanted.

And very few proper people to punch left for her.

“I thought it wasn’t over… I thought… To me, it wasn’t over. It wasn’t for the longest time, and that… that was what I wanted,” Carolina admitted to Washington without prompting. “Is this how…. This shouldn’t be how it feels. The end. I’d rather not feel it at all.”

Wash quietly wrapped one arm around Carolina’s shoulders and held her close as she continued her babbling. There weren’t any comments, but then again, after nearly a year of him trying to warn her of what finding answers might mean, maybe he just didn’t have any left to share.

Carolina leaned into the half hug and inhaled sharply again, not yet over the weirdness of having her emotions so naked and revealing to anyone around her.

But, she supposed, if it was around anyone, she was glad it was with Wash. Even if that was selfish, even if she knew, deep down, that the relationship he shared with Epsilon was far more nuanced and dark and hurtful than her own.

He still didn’t say anything on it. At least not in that way.

Instead, Washington waited until the worst of Carolina’s tears were dried, just rubbing and squeezing her shoulder from time to time.

“I’m such an idiot,” Carolina growled at herself, unable to even look in Wash’s direction. “We… we saved them. We found them and saved… all of them. And I know more than anything else, that’s exactly what Epsilon would have wanted me to do. He practically told me to start a new chapter without him. But I… I still the whole time was thinking of finding him, too. I didn’t think that if we lost anyone… that if we lost anyone it would be him… God. I’m such an idiot. I’m such—“

“Missing people you love, no matter how long it feels like it’s been… it’s not something that makes you bad, let alone an idiot,” Washington assured her. “And it’s not like we knew for a year that we would find everyone but Epsilon. We…. well, we didn’t know who we’d find.”

“You knew,” Carolina reminded him darkly. “You tried to warn me—“

“I did’t know, Carolina. No one could have known,” Washington corrected her. “I wanted you to be… I don’t know. Ready for the possibility. I… I wanted us all to be ready — as much as any of us could have been — for learning the absolute worst. Because I knew I wasn’t going to be.”

Carolina looked at her oldest friend and watched the exhaustion in his eyes. It was like looking into a mirror.

“Thank you… for being the person we all needed at some time or another,” she thanked him softly.

“I try,” Wash half joked. “Though… Well, I wasn’t as close to Epsilon as the rest of you. So… I know I can’t really be the person you all need right now… But the one thing I can say for sure is that… you’re not the only one missing him. And, when you’re ready, I bet you’re not going to be the only one who needs to talk about it before completely starting a new chapter.”

Carolina nodded quietly. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. I should…” she stopped for a moment and looked back at him. “Do you really think it’s time for the new chapter? For a whole new story? I mean. We’re still outlaws. Chorus is still in rebellion against the UNSC. We still… y’know. Had a hand in the death of the Chairman.”

“It’s something to worry about later,” Washington assured her. “Right now? We worry about what matters — each other.”

“You know you’re my best friend, right?” Carolina asked.

“Emotional break through. I recorded it. You’ll never be able to take it back now,” Wash joked.

“I already take it back, that was a mistake, you’re just my subordinate,” Carolina teased back.

“Nope, I told you, no take backs,” Wash said before turning the side hug into a more proper embrace. “Thank you for being our pillar. We found everyone alive because of you and your perseverance.”

“Thank you for being my second in command. I didn’t strangle anyone on the team because of your intervention,” Carolina said back. “But you’re right. I do need to get down there and…. be there for the others. At least to talk.”

“Your forte,” Wash said seeping with sarcasm.

“Hey now,” Carolina warned. “I’ve not had as many chapters as you yet. Give me time to learn how to spend my time standing around talking and doing nothing. It takes practice.”

“Yeah it does,” Wash laughed, getting to his feet and offering Carolina a hand.

She took it and pulled herself up.

It hurt, the idea of closing on a hope, a dream. But her family — Epsilon, Wash, everyone — were right.

It was time to keep moving.

“And that concludes my report, Missus President.”

Dylan looked up from her laptop screen, ignoring the hum of the machines around her bed keeping her stable. Or the fact that they were living in the damn future in space and she still had to deal with the ridiculousness of patient gowns not really having a back of any sort.

Surely someone had had the time to develop some breakthrough in medical wardrobe.

But that was a report for another day.

At the foot of her bed was the large and imposing president of the Independent Planet of Chorus, former General Vanessa Kimball. And, at the moment, highly scrupulous protector of the Reds and Blues by her own account. For the time being, Dylan’s investigative instincts did not compel her to investigate otherwise.

“That’s what you’re thinking of submitting to your paper?” Kimball asked suspiciously. “An exposé with that amount of inflammatory content, particularly toward the UNSC and endangering relations with the Alien Covenant? Your editor won’t want you to lower the blast radius on that gun?”

Somewhat surprised, Dylan Andrews only blinked a few times before shaking her head definitively. “My editor? No, no. I’m afraid you misunderstand the situation. I took off on a long journey without any clearance or supervision, was spotted with and accused of being an accomplice to fugitives, and personally broke into several computer terminals that were probably not, legally speaking, clear for me to mess with. My career through Interstellar Daily is about as thoroughly fucked as it can be. I’m going to be posting this directly to my personal website and contact a few of my fellow reporters who would love to report on me reporting this. Taking the proverbial bullet as you will.”

Kimball was wearing a helmet but Dylan liked to think there an impressed look hiding behind the visor. Then again, pragmatically she knew better than to weave fiction with her reporting.

“You have already taken enough bullets for this story by almost any measure,” Kimball said flatly, head tilted slightly toward Dylan’s side that was still thoroughly bandaged and sore.

Almost instinctively, Dylan tenderly put her hand on her wound. “Well, true as that may be, I don’t believe things worth reporting don’t also come with some great amount of risk,” she replied. “I live for reporting these things. And punishing anything less than the truth would be unethical by my estimates.”

“Hm. With that kind of attitude, I have to wonder how tabloids get started,” Kimball hummed slightly.

“Same way freedom fighters can’t always weed out all of their anarchists,” Dylan answered. When Kimball didn’t immediately answer, the reporter began to squirm some in her bed, making her jerk at the pain of her side. “I was… ah, trying to say you and Chorus are the freedom fighters and the UNSC is wrong to label you as anarchists—“

“You didn’t appear to me to be particularly dull-witted, Miss Andrews. I assumed the best,” Kimball assured her.

“Oh! Well. Good. You should have… I just. Have a real difficult time reading people who are wearing full helmets,” Dylan admitted. “Which is… somewhat ironic considering my company for this excursion.”

“That is exactly why I make excuses for wearing a helmet as much as possible,” Kimball answered. “Now, your story more than has the support and approval of me and my people. I’d say with a quick proofread from either Agent Washington or Agent Carolina you would have the approval of the Reds and Blues as well. Then you could… well, publish it any way you decide to.”

“Great,” Dylan said, fingers tapping on the flat of the laptop, chewing on her lip. “I do need one favor from you if you don’t mind, though. I don’t think this story can really be over until I get it.”

“What’s that?” Kimball asked sternly.

“I need someone to wheel me into Siris’ room for an interview,” Dylan said. “He ties some pieces together I feel like we don’t have yet… and without them I don’t know how much outreach into the UNSC itself we’ll have.”

The request made Kimball visibly apprehensive, but it was an agreeable enough set of terms.

Before Dylan could fully process everything, two of Kimball’s guards were putting her in a wheelchair and pushing her down the hall toward the other recent patient of the ICU. Two other guards were posted at the door and seemed only convinced to move and let them in once they saw the President herself was with them.

“Mister Siris,” Dylan spoke up as they turned the corner into the room. “I have some questions for you about… your part in… all of this…”

It should have felt like more of a surprise to her when they turned the corner and saw the empty bed, bloody sheets dragging from the bed to the open window.

“What!?” Kimball screeched, turning around to face the guards who were rushing in. “Put the city on alert, make sure there is no one flying off the planet! The damn mercenary escaped! I refuse for Chorus to lose a single other life because of goddamn mercenaries!”

In the commotion, Dylan was left in her chair, looking out the window, fingers lightly curled over the keys of her keyboard in her lap.

During the chaos, she began to slowly stroke one key at a time.

The report is not yet over. Just like the dangers we all face. But, we can hope, that wherever we are left at the end of our journey, the truth is found along the way.

[sroloc--elbisivni]

:0 the "wash gets deaged on chorus" fic sounds like Good Content™ i am v interested

oh man i did not expect a response but HELL YEAH LET’S TALK ABOUT THIS

so deaging is um. kinda my Thing. I accept it. and typically i prefer deaging the ladies but MAN if ANY fandom was so Highly Eligible for deaging fic it’s rvb and good god the potential of wash

(ok full disclosure the first place this popped up was in skype conversation with steph spitballing aus and i think this was in relation to the donut sibs au so that Definitely influenced it)

…actually that conversation might have led to my deaged Carolina fic? but ANYWAY

so the original idea is that some shit goes down with the Towers on Chorus and the gang ends up with deaged Freelancers but because of your ask and i’ve already done that let’s go with just Wash. he’s about 7 years old, so he’s at prime little-shit inconveniently-mobile-and-unwilling-to-listen-to-reason age and none of the gang has any idea how to handle him. 

Epsilon would probably be the most helpful, theoretically, because he remembers being Wash at that age and chronologically is that age, but he and Carolina both emphatically nope out of the entire situation and really they should not be blamed for this

Wash is a nightmare. none of the reds and blues are that great with kids in the first place (Tucker would normally be good, but he is so weirded out by this it’s affecting his ability to Deal) but they are really not good with Wash, who is cranky and miserable and homesick and doesn’t trust Anybody. 

-Tucker and Grif are both your best shots for getting wash to cooperate

-just because Grif can outstubborn him and is genuinely competent where children are concerned 

-and Tucker sort of gets how Wash ticks? small paranoid angry punchy seven-year-old Wash holds a great deal of similarity to post-freelancer wash. but Tucker is also busy trying to undo this 

-Simmons avoids him because he’s getting flashbacks to when Wash was scary and the Enemy. Wash finds it hilarious that he can make an adult shriek like that and gets attached to Simmons for the sole purpose of harassing him. this does not help.

-Caboose baffles Wash enough that you can sneak up on him with like. sandwiches and stuff. so Caboose is your best bet for getting him to hold still.

-Sarge is determined to take this opportunity to brainwash Wash to the righteous side of the Red team. Wash is terrified of Sarge. Sarge is a viable threat to get him to cooperate. 

-Donut is weirded out by This Entire Situation because Wash has always been bigger and older than him and this is weird. He’s friendly and nice but Wash is also kind of weirded out by him and tends to avoid him. Donut is hurt. 

-the Lieutenants babysit him a lot before someone puts point A, Lieutenants were raised in a war zone and see no problem with showing a kid how to use weapons, together with point B, Wash is more fascinated with weapons and armor than is good for anyone’s health and sanity. 

-speaking of, ARMOR. there is no child-sized armor. child Wash has no fear. everyone is in a constant state of terror about the way he’s absolutely going to get himself killed. 

-don’t even get me started on the mercs

-seriously don’t every outcome i can think of is horrifying 

[secretlystephaniebrown]

everything inside and out

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE SIB @sroloc--elbisivni​! Last year, I gave you the first part of the Amnesia Verse. This year? Well... let’s get Part 2 out here. I wouldn’t say it’s done, but it’s what I’ve got so far. I hope you enjoy, kiddo! You’re so grown up now. :’)

Warnings: None

Pairings: All ships background/minor/implied, but: Tuckington, Niner/OC, Church/Tex/OC

The problem with the ship is that it’s too crowded. Freelancers and Sim Troopers and civilians are packed in practically elbow-to-elbow, making it impossible for David-Wash-Washington to get alone long enough to try to process the splitting headaches and echoes of memories he keeps getting.

Wash can’t tell his siblings this, but he knows the Freelancers are telling the truth.

He remembers colorful armor and recognizes the voices, and his dreams are filled with combat and shouting voices, not the supposed calm of the deserted planet.

He denies it when they talk about it, but no one believes it anymore. Martha keeps looking at him like he kicked Shadow; this unacknowledged betrayal. He’d left them. He’d left them and let them think he was dead to play super soldier, until whatever had happened and wiped out his memories.

All he knows is that it had something to do with Epsilon, one of the A.I. that most of the Freelancers seem to have. He doesn’t remember what any of his logic or reasoning was; questioning the other Freelancers seems to be a dead end. Most of them don’t have family, or don’t particularly care about them. Niner’s related to Caboose, who seemed to have been aware of Niner being alive, which has done absolutely nothing to assist Niner and Mitch’s arguments.

Something has happened with Mitch and Niner, and Wash doesn’t know what to make of it, the way they occasionally pause in their bickering, the looks they exchange.

Martha spends all her time with the Sim Troopers, and, on occasion, Carolina, who she has begrudgingly accepted if only for Shadow’s fondness for her. She’s sullen and quiet, and unhappy. She doesn’t like the moving around, the cramped space. Wash would have thought that Mitch would be the one who wanted to go home, but it’s not the case. Mitch’s bickering with Niner seems to have driven away all thoughts about the farm; she’s barely even wondered about how the harvest is progressing.

Jackie is positively thriving, like Frank. The two of them have always fed on the interesting, the odd, and the uncontrollable—as long as they can control it. Jackie interrogates the Freelancers and Sim Troopers, and maps out everything she possibly can. Jackie is hungry for knowledge and adventure, starved for it, and Wash had never realized until he sees her compiling her notes. She’d stayed home for college, for grad school, stayed home out of a sense of duty, of family, but Jackie has been craving this.

Wash wonders where she would have gone if he hadn’t gone missing, hadn’t held her back indirectly, by making her afraid of leaving the others.

The Reds and Blues and Frank argue and fight and yell, but there is a comfort to them all the same. It’s an escape, from what he did.

And if Wash sometimes spends longer than is appropriate staring at Tucker when his helmet is off, well that’s no one’s business but his.

The kiss was a mistake.

No, really, it was a terrible mistake, because Mitch can’t stop thinking about it.

Niner is infuriating, obnoxious, loud. Niner is a pilot, she won’t be grounded, she’d never settled down, she’d...

Mitch needs to stop wanting to kiss her, because Mitch doesn’t need women like Niner. She needs a woman who will help with the harvest and settle down. Mitch has never pretended to want anything besides the domestic life on her farm.

Niner, with her armor and her friends and her guns and her kidnapping tendencies would never fit in on the farm, no matter how much Mitch wants to kiss her or run her fingers through her tangled curls or—

None of it matters.

Because Niner is a brother-napper and her friends are all weirdos in colorful armor who are being chased by monsters and the government and they dragged Mitch and her family into their messes.

David is confused, but he won’t say it. He thinks she should be trying to get them home, to bring them back to the farm and their hometown and Mom and Dad and all the rest.

But as long as her family is here, the farm can stay behind.

As long as they’re here, it will all be okay.

Even if infuriatingly cute Four Seven Niner doesn’t want to kiss her again—not that she wants her to.

Martha wants to go home.

Martha wants to wake up in her own bed with Shadow sprawled across her chest, heavy and furry and wonderful, and her brother is back and okay and she’s never fucking heard of Agent Washington.

This ship is full of people who broke her family to pieces, but none of the others seem to care. Mitch is too busy making moony-eyes at Niner, swayed by arguments that they were trying to protect him. Jackie is flirting with Tex and Church at the same time, because her baby sister has terrible taste in men and women, and also enjoys to court disaster and danger. Donut is just happy everyone’s together. He’s always forgiven too easily.

And David?

David is Agent Washington. He doesn’t remember, but he is.

He left them.

There is nothing but bile in Martha’s mouth when she looks at him now. Her brother with the crisscrossing scars and the circles under his eyes and the flecks of grey in his hair, with freckles splotching all over his skin, with a metal thing in the back of his neck—he’s Freelancer, and he let them all think he was dead for adventure and to save the galaxy or whatever else it is that they promise Freelancers.

Martha doesn’t want any of this. She never did. She wanted to join the army when she was young and stupid, and then her brother died, and she grew up, and she realized there was nothing good out there, but her family has already forgotten these lessons.

Her hands shake when she gets like this, all worked up and there’s absolutely nothing she can do about it but hug Shadow tightly until the shakes go away. She mediates arguments because Jackie’s too busy taking notes and Mitch is flirting with Niner, but she can’t do anything but snap and snarl and punch walls when no one is looking. She has nothing to do with her hands, and Martha hates that. She misses her workshop.

She just wants her family back, and these others to go away so they can go home and forget about all of this.

That’s all she’s ever wanted.

It’s probably terrible of Jackie to think of her brother’s kidnapping by his supposed former teammates as the most interesting thing to happen to her since Grad School but…

Look, she loves her home town, but it doesn’t exactly have much in the way of interesting cases, okay?

She certainly never gets to deal with twins who have been pitted against each other as a psychological experiment, people with abandonment issues a mile wide, or several AI before.

Jackie’s always had a soft-spot for AI psychology, even if she hadn’t specialized in it at school. Not enough non-military jobs in that field. And Jackie wasn’t military. She didn’t have it in her.

And then of course, there was the company.

Leonard Church was a pissy, super-smart in his own way, fast-talking jackass with a superiority/inferiority complex and a screechy voice.

So of course, Jackie was harboring a bit of a crush on him, a fact which she was rigorously hiding from her siblings. They had enough opinions about her awful taste in men. And they’d tell Church, whose interest she was still gauging.

Especially because there was also a crush on Texas; hyper-competent, snarky, way too fond of violence, and just enough a mercenary to make Jackie swoon. This crush she was trying to hide even more, because her siblings also had opinions about her taste in women, and she suspected Tex would not talk to her any more if she knew the crush was a Thing, with a capital T.

Jackie’s life would be a lot easier if her taste in people was less inconvenient.

Donut is worried for his sisters. He’s worried for David—wait, no Wash, he goes by Wash now—of course he’s worried, but that’s an old worry. They’ve always been worrying about Wash.

But Martha is going stir-crazy, missing  her workshop and on edge with all of these strangers, none of whom she likes. Except Carolina. Somehow, Carolina has accidentally convinced Martha that she’s okay. Mitch is too busy pining over the pilot to handle things, and Jackie is distracted by… everything. Mostly Tex and Church. She thinks they haven’t noticed, but at least Martha has.

And Wash is trying to put the pieces back together, but none of them know where the missing pieces are.

Donut worries.

But then again, he usually does.

And when the Freelancers bring home the AI that apparently wiped out Wash’s memories?

He worries even more.

Wash picks up the containment unit, which is emitting low pulses of blue light. “You don’t know either, do you?” He says.

Epsilon’s light blinks. No.

“Think we can find out?” Wash asks.

The light blinks again, but Wash knows instinctively that it’s a yes.

“Alright,” he says, and pushes open the panel where he knows, somewhere in the part of his mind that knows York’s face and the fact that Carolina dyes her hair and that Connie, whoever she was, is one of the most important people he’s ever met, he can find Epsilon’s chip.

Wash holds it in his hands; it’s small, innocuous even, looking like a video game cartridge. There’s a Greek letter on it, and it’s vaguely blue. It’s burning hot, and Wash nearly drops it. But he doesn’t, because he needs to know. He needs to have answers to the nightmares that he’s been having, he needs to know why these people are important, he needs to be able to give his sisters answers.

Wash takes a deep breath and pushes Epsilon’s chip into his implants.

There is screaming.

Allison with her blonde hair and a laugh that sounds like—Washington has blond hair and blue eyes and he—David was born in a small town in Iowa called—Texas is number one—Agent Washington died in—she’s alive again—he has four siblings—he’s nothing but a memory—a farm far away—a ship—Epsilon-David-Washington-Alpha-Leonard-Agent-Church-Brother-WASH.

The whole world is fire, it feels like. Fire and fury and the agonizing pain. The sharp, cutting feeling of a razor blade across his throat, the white hot fear of everyone dying. York’s eyes glassy and unseeing, Carolina at the bottom of a cliff, Tex with a bullet in her stomach—AlliSON.

Cold hands press against his forehead and he doesn’t open his eyes because they’re not real—nothing is real except Epsilon and him and that awful knotted place where they are one and the same.

“Stay away from him!” Martha screams, spinning towards the Freelancers.

There’s a cold, hard fury in her chest, threatening to burst out, and in this moment she feels invincible. They are super soldiers with armor and enhancements and they can do things that she could never imagine, but right now she thinks she could take them all, with this liquid fury in her veins stronger than any form of courage or bravery.

Her brother is screaming on the floor, and the Epsilon unit—the thing the Freelancers have been telling them broke him the first time—is on the floor, ripped open to expose the chip, which is missing. He’s thrashing and fighting Mitch’s grip on his right wrist and Frank’s grip on his left wrist and Jackie’s grip on his head and there’s nothing for Martha to hold, but she can do this.

She is stubborn, she is stupid, she is reckless, and she’s the one who has always tumbled into a fight after her siblings or in defense of them without question and she can hold the line here.

“We can help—” North Dakota says, and Martha wants to scream.

“No,” she says. “You can’t. All you people do is hurt him. He was out! He was safe! He was healing! And you had to drag him back in, with your fucking missions, and numbers, and revenge, and you—you fucking brought this thing onto the ship because you needed answers, or whatever, and you LET HIM PUT IT IN HIS HEAD.”

Martha’s aware that her eyes are wet.

“We—” It’s York this time, and Martha nearly surges forward to try to punch him, but Tucker catches her hand and holds her back.

“Last time he forgot you,” Martha spits, fighting Tucker’s grip on her, even though she knows she can’t break free. He’s strong, even without his armor, and Martha is out of shape after months of being away from her shop. “What if this time he forgets us?”

Carolina looks alarmed at the possibility, but the others just looked shocked that Martha’s even thought that.

Behind her, Jackie is muttering something softly—trying to talk to Epsilon, Martha thinks, trying to talk him out of Wash’s head, because Jackie thinks she’s a fucking AI whisperer now. Mitch is just pressing her hand against Wash’s forehead and crying softly. Frank is holding Wash’s hand, as the seizures seem to fade.

Martha just stands apart from her siblings, her wrist tight in Tucker’s grip, her other arm thrown out wide, a barrier between her family and these Freelancers who have laid claim to her brother. On the other side, there are the Reds and Blues, hovering over Wash, concerned.

Martha swallows and her eyes remain perfectly dry.

“Go away and leave my family alone,” she says.

It’s been two days and Wash hasn’t woken up. Wash’s family isn’t leaving him—they’ve got him hidden away in the largest of the sleeping quarters. Martha hit York with a broom when he tried to visit, and the less said about South’s attempt the better.

Carolina knocks on the door, and Mitch is the one to answer. She stares at her. For a second, Carolina wonders if she’s going to get a black eye like Niner did, when she tried to talk to Mitch.

Mitch is uncomfortable to look at; the resemblance to Wash is uncanny, even without the scars. There’s a tiredness to Mitch’s face, an exhaustion that looks so terribly familiar.

“Has he woken up?” Carolina says. “I know you don’t want us in here, but… I care about him too. I just want to know that he’s okay.”

Mitch’s icy blue gaze falters for a moment. “He’s not… he hasn’t woken up yet,” she says softly.

Carolina nods once, jerkily.

Mitch looks away. “You know more about AI than we do,” she says, crossing her arms, like she’s trying to hug herself. “Is… do you think… what Martha said…”

“No,” Carolina says, immediately. “I don’t think that.” She takes a breath. “He used to talk about you guys. To Connie. I overheard him once or twice.”

Mitch looks devastated at that, closing her over bright eyes.

“The thing is,” Carolina adds. “He sounded like he’d talked to you guys recently.” Mitch’s eyes snap open, and focus on Carolina’s face, as if looking for something. Her mouth forms a thin, considering line, an expression so like Wash’s that the resemblance is dizzying.

“Thank you,” Mitch says. She doesn’t say what for, but it doesn’t matter. She closes the door behind her, but it’s not a slam, and Carolina can work with that.

Wash opens his eyes, and he remembers.

There’s someone holding his hand, and someone pressed against his chest, and someone is sitting on his legs, and the faint sound of Jackie snoring in the background.

Martha’s sitting on his legs, head lolled against the wall of the bunk, mouth open and drooling slightly. Mitch has his hand in a vicelike grip, while Donut is curled up next to him, head resting on Wash’s chest, like he’d done when they were kids. Jackie is sprawled on the floor, Mitch’s jacket under her head like a pillow.

Wash squeezes Mitch’s hand slightly, not daring to move otherwise, for fear of disturbing his siblings.

But the door is open just a crack, and Wash sees Niner peek in.

She looks awful; there’s a black eye

She meets his eyes, and something shifts. “You remember?”

Wash nods.

She glances sideways at Mitch, and coughs. “How mad is she, exactly?”

Wash lets his head thump back against the pillows dramatically. “Not as mad as she wants to be. Don’t worry. She’s usually very lenient with her girlfriends.”

Niner starts to splutter and cough. “We’re—she’s—wait, really?”

“Well,” Wash mutters. “It could be worse. I’m pretty sure Jackie has a crush on Church.”

“Really?” Niner asks, peering at his youngest sister. “I thought she had a thing for Tex.”

Wash pauses, considering. “…well. At least Martha’s safe from that.”

“Shut up, David,” Martha mutters. “You have no room to talk, pining over Tucker.”

Wash has been crushing on a Sim Trooper. Well that… complicates things.

He glances around at his family again, then looks up at Niner, but she’s already gone. Somewhere on the ship, Wash knows, there are Sim Troopers and Freelancers and his sisters.

He… had absolutely failed to understand the full implications of this situation when he’d had amnesia.

Wash swallows down the wave of bile as Epsilon’s memories threaten to overwhelm him, focusing instead on the way Donut is clinging to him, focusing on the way that Donut had used to do that when they were little. His memories. Not Leonard Church’s—oh shit, Church is—no, no, focus on Mitch’s farming callouses and the way they feel against his hand.

He’s going to get through this.

He’s pretty sure his siblings would kill him if he didn’t.

[firingmaincannon]

“Previously On,” framing, and character priorities

i have A Lot Of Thoughts about rvb15x5 “previously on”

So it seems pretty clear that Joe Nicolosi is aware of trends in the fandom, at least to a certain extent. He’s made a lot of parallels in his story with what fans have been talking about. And it makes me wonder if his choice to describe the reds and blues’ 10 months of retirement in a single extended flashback was related to that understanding. It very well might not have been, but it definitely works out great for us, especially for fic authors. We have just enough information about what happened--relationships that developed, things that changed, a huge number of jokes that built on each other with fantastic momentum--that we get a strong sense of what that time was like. But we don’t have many details. And that gives us each an opportunity to fill in that missing time with our own guesses. Which is honestly such a gift! 

For example, we know Carolina ended up being chiller and more friendly and more jokey, and closer to the reds and blues (the reds in particular). But other than a few scenes where we see that happen or where we see the results of it, we don’t know how she got to that point. And that’s okay! That lets us step in and say, “Here’s what I think happened. What do you think?” And there’s enough leeway in there that it’s hard to say that any of us is wrong. We can all build off what is there to make our own stories, and we all have enough context for the setting to understand what each other is going for. And what was stated as canon is so interesting and new that it’s really inspirational--I haven’t felt this driven to create fic or art in a long, long time, but now it’s easy to think of things to write about. I love it. I love what this has the potential to do to the fandom. I want to read a million fics about the water park and about why the hell Carolina cares about Wash’s beard so much and about Grif being a master teacher of laziness and about all of it! 

Which brings me to my other point: the way Joe has framed the things that are most important to the Reds and Blues. A lot of people were frustrated with the way that the story glossed over the battle at the end of s13. We got less than a minute of vague description of what happened. What was that? We don’t get a beautifully choreographed, exciting fight scene? What a copout! And I definitely understand that feeling. Red vs Blue’s had some really fucking awesome action in it for the last five or six years, and I love it and want to see more of it. It’s kickass. 

But when the show began, there wasn’t much action. It was just the characters talking. It was all about their thoughts and their relationships (and about how they were assholes. That too). And that’s what it feels like it is again. The reds and blues spent a very short time talking about the fight, and a much longer time describing the insane utter nonsense they’ve been doing for the last ten months. Doesn’t that kind of tell us what their own priorities are? They care about the random bullshit a lot. They value the fights less.

And yes, this is simplifying it. Of course it would take a lot of time to describe ten months passing, and less time to describe a battle that took less than a day. And of course this isn’t the only reason they don’t want to talk about the Charon battle. They lost Epsilon in that fight, of course it’s a sensitive topic. But that kind of makes my point, too. They value their relationships with each other highly, enough that losing someone (even someone that they pretty much all complained about at some point) is significant and painful enough that it wipes out their desire to brag about how badass they were. 

I dunno. This is all just my opinion and definitely not me trying to tell anyone they shouldn’t be disappointed if they expected more detail or to see the fight themselves or anything like that. But tl;dr it works for me because it’s carried across in a way that furthers our understanding of the characters and of what they want and value. (Now, if later we see a flashback of the fight in a different context, I would be all for that. I’m just personally fine with it not happening here.)

[calliecat93]

RvB16 Episode 13 Review: A Time for Hammers

After thirteen episodes, Joe is FINALLY being merciful and giving us some exposition. THANK YOU RT GODS! Okay, so we’re nearing the end here people. What awaits us next? Let us find out!

Overview

Atlus does indeed give us an exposition dump. I know that some hate exposition, but at this point it is SORELY needed. So to put it simply, in the beginning there was nothing until time expanded and then came the father of the Cosmic Powers, Chrovos. Which still relates to Greek Myth as the inspiration, Krovos, was the King of the Titans and father of Zeus, Hera, and several others. Oh, he also would eat his kids... mythology is very messed up. Chrovos, who has power over time, created the Cosmic Powers and had them enslaved to do his bidding. WELL THEN. They claim to not know what the entire plan was however, only their part in it.

The Cosmic Powers however ultimately rebelled against Chrovos and the Titans, the majority killed and the rest imprisoned. The Cosmic Powers created a labyrinth within a black hole and in the center is a treadmill that they tricked him onto. So he is walking in place forever in one spot... Joe you totally stole that from Ten Little Roosters, didn’t you? Before things go any further, Sarge interrupts to ask why Grif of all people has a sword. Because he deserved it Sarge, shut up! But yeah now everyone (except Carolina) wants one so Atlus allows it... except Caboose. He wants Genkins golf club! It is what he deserves. Wash tries to ask the Cosmic Powers if they’ll relieve his headache as well, but Atlus confirms that they can’t alter the mind directly. They exist more to alter the minds of other races. So they can create physical manifestations and external forces, but otherwise they are limited in what they can do.

Before Atlus can get away from that subject, Simmons has an ‘aha’ moment. So there’s been a lot of speculation about what the Cosmic Powers are exact;y. Are they actual Gods? Aliens? AI’s? Well Simmons finally figures it out. My friends, the Cosmic Powers are indeed AI. The Reds and Blues protection? A protective firewall that prevents that Chrovos created to keep them in check’. Their current forms? Hologram projections that Chrovos setup to have them look the part of Gods to manipulate other races. The limitations? It was what Chrovos programmed into them. That’s my boy Simmons! So yea, the COsmic Powers send Huggins and Muggins away and confirm the truth. They are indeed AI, placed into devices that look a LOOT like the one that Epsilon was put into during the Recollection Trilogy.

With that out of the way, back to the exposition. So while he’s weak, Chrovos isn’t powerless. He used his power to cause a human to create a time machine, causing a leak in time. So yeah, the time machine last season? That came to be due to Chrovos. The leak gave Chrovos enough power to zap Donut and pull him into a time where he was much stronger, manipulating him into thinking that he was God before sending him back to the present with the time guns to put his plan into motion. Oh and during this, the guys say some... rather insensitive remarks about Donut. Remember this for the end my friends.

So yeah, the Reds and Blues have damaged the blocks of time and it’s apparently too late to fix it. Chrovos now has the chance to be free and time is going to topple over. There is one hope however, and that is for the Reds and Blues to go to Chrovos directly. To do this, they have to go into the labyrinth and fight through all of the forces guarding him and use a weapon made of the same material that keeps him imprisoned: The Hammer. Huh... simple name. I like it! Anywho, The Hammer will reinforce the bindings keeping Chrovos at bay, he’ll be unable to get out again, and time will be saved! You know, if they just went to them with that in the first place instead of sicing Gus... I mean the cyclops on them, we could have avoided this...

The Cosmic Powers send the Reds and Blues to another part of Starseat to let them make a decision. Oh and he also takes the swords back... except Grif’s! My boy gets to keep it! Hooray!!! Anyways, our heroes talk their options over. Simmons suggest they just go back and stop themselves from time traveling to begin with... but Carolina beings up that doing that will likely cause a paradox like Jax already said. So yeah, that’s out. Wash tries to rally the guys to go for it, pointing out that they did their best but in the end failing is the only way that they can knwo that they sucked and get better. Time traveling is not going to do anything to make it better. All that they’ve been doing is trying to relieve quilt or avoid responsibility, but the past is the past. They have to be better now because that is what matters.

Tucker argues this a little but, saying that it’s selfish to not time travel and fix their mistakes, like say... when Wash hurt people back int he day. But Wash counters that mistakes make you who you are and when you make one, you need to fix it and grow from it. This gets at least the Reds and Caboose to agree that giving up the guns is the right thing to do and Wahs even says that he’ll be with the Rdds and Blues to fight alongside them. Aww, what a nice moment! It is so swe... something’s going to fuck it up, isn’t it?

Yep. The speech causes Carolina to feel guilty about her recent decisions and she tells Wash that no, he won’t be fighting with them. The two Freelancers argue, Carolina telling Wash that he’s disableled with him arguing against it. But Carolina finally breaks the news to him. When Wash got shot in the neck back in S15 EP17, it cut off oxygen to the brain. It was only for a few minutes, but that was enough to inflict brain damage. It is why Wash is having his memory lapses, he has a condition known as Cerebal Hypoxia, a brain injury. While the significance of the damage is still undetermined, the memory lapses alone are enough to make Carolina unwilling to let Wash fight ever again.

Wash... doesn't take it well. He snaps. Like IDT he’s ever been this angry. He snaps at the Reds and Blues, asking if they knew. They say that thy didn’t with Carolina confirming that she kept it from everyone, so they’re just as shocked as Wash is about this. Wash calms down, but is clearly hurt that Carolina would keep something that massive a secret from him. Carolina tries to explain how she didn’t want to upset him, but Wash just walks away as she struggles to find the words. Everyone is left in shock. Even Caboose wounded more well... normal sounding than usual. Damn man, just... damn.

So how can things get worst after that? Well... remember when I mentioned the guys making those insensitive comment about Donut? Well that was ultimately the last straw for him. He takes the hammer, opening up a portal and telling the others that all that they said made his choice all the easier to make. He enters the portal, heading back to Chrovos. Well... Genkins warned us that the pink one would steal the hammer. He was not kidding...

Review

Well... we were all waiting for the plot bomb to hit... and here it is... and it has left only devastation in it’s wake.

Alright, before we dive into the last few minutes, lets talk Cosmic Gods and Chrovos. So first, THEY’RE NOT REAL GODS GUYS! THEY WERE DESIGNED THAT WAY TO MANIPULATE OTHER RACES! NO REAL MAGIC OR GOD-LIKE THINGS! THEY’RE AI. WE CAN FINALY PUT THAT TO REST!

Okay, got that out of my system! But yeah, the Cosmic Powers are indeed highly advanced and powerful AI, kept in a device similar to the one Church was in during Recollection. Which kudos to Joe for bringing that back in! It’s something I love about this series, it always finds ways to bring back minor or even just dumb things and make them significant. But yeah, while it does beg the question on what Chrovos is (an alien? Another AI? Something else?), it is VERY relieving to have this revelation especially since there’s been quite a few people... mixed about them being Gods to put it light;y. It’s also good that there ARE some limitations, like they can’t brainwash anyone or directly affect the brain for example. They can only manipulate things externally.

This helps make sense of a lot of things. The God theme is to cause others to worship them and obey their will. Chances are Huggins and Muggins’ species were one of those races... so it’s hard to say how well they’ll take it when/if this comes out. It makes sense they they just role with it and live up to it, it’s in their programming. Like this explains a LOOOT of things... aside form the cyclops unless there’s just an alien species that look like cyclops that exist. Which I’m not going to call impossible. Hell, that would be awesome! But yeah, this episode answered a lot but kept plenty of things open, like what Chrovos’ true reasons for making the AI were and keeps the Cosmic Powers in a... morally grey area. Like they seemed like they turned on him because he limited their power and whether they’re being honest about not knowing their creator’s true intentions is very debatable. So they’re not 100% good or trustworthy, but currently the Lesser Evil. So that’s good!

Alright, so... lets get to... Donut! Yes, I’m stalling, but it’s still important. Because this episode, as well as the past two with him in it, have done an excellent job setting up his current state. During the past 16 seasons, Donut has always been kin of the butt of the joke. Gullible. Naive. A joke with a good throwing arm who is mostly forgotten. Now tbf part of this is due to Dan Godwin not always being available so RT had to limit him, but in-canon it doesn't help. Which kudos to Dan Godwin BTW. He nailed the hurt in Donut’s tone as he repeated the insults really well. He hasn't really gotten to emote much as Donut outside being happy, so it is SO GOOD to hear him get to use a broader range. But yeah, while Donut is absolutely making the wrong choice here, you feel nothing but sympathy for him. Because we have seen how he’s belittled by the others, some of us for years. I’d say it’s a better version of what we got with Doc last year since this time we got to see Donut express how frustrated he was and Chrovos manipulate him into his current emotional state. Very well done.

And I can't avoid it anymore. Lets talk about Wash. First, the good to hodl it off just a tad bit longer. I really loved his speech. It speaks a lot about the theme of this season to me. The theme seems to be that no matter what you do or how you try, you can't fix the past and you shouldn’t fix the past. The past is what shapes you into the person that you are meant to be. Instead of focusing on what you could have done or what you would do, you should focus on what you can do now. In the present. That is the time that matters. Coming from Wash after everything before, ti was so good to hear. And it’s true at least to me. Something I live by is something that Monty Oum coined before, “keep moving forward”. You can’t focus on the past, you just have to continue on. So hearing this... it really resonated with me.

But of course that all gets fucked up with Carolina choosing the WORST moment to feel bad and tell the truth. Look Carolina, I’m glad they you decided to finally tell Wash the truth, but this was the WORST possible time woman! Still yeah... Wash’s reaction was completely justified. Snapping at the others was harsh, but him being that angry? That hurt that Carolina would hide that he was brain damaged? That... that is a big deal. After everything, all the trust that they had built, Carolina both hid things from him and lied to him. Yes, it is understandable why Carolina was afraid to tell him. I feel a LOT of sympathy for her because I’ve dealt with a relative having a bad memory, and it is a terrible experience. She clearly regretted it and she sounded like she was outright trying to not cry. Jen Brown did such a fantastic job, as did Shannon McCormick with the raw emotion he had to use for Wash.

But as bad as I feel for Carolina, she made a huge mistake. She hid a serious condition away from her friend. She lied to him about the state of his condition. And then she chose to tell him during a serious situation that could decide the fate of time itself. Wash had been really happy and even fooling around before this, which makes seeing him so hurt all the more painful. Things can never be like they were before and now he’s likely going to have trust issues with Carolina. What’s going to happen now? I honestly have no idea. IDT it’s going to be resolved this season, that much I know. but yeah, it’s... it’s hard. I was about ready to cry when Carolina struggled to explain everything, especially as Wash just... walked away. It hurt.

Final Thoughts

This was an absolutely fantastic episode. The exposition was good and made sense, the humor was on point, and the emotional scenes were just... man I don’t think I have words. Joe did an excellent job writing them. Well guys, two episodes left to go. I am more uncertain of what’s going to happen than I have been all season. But I can safely say that whatever Joe is going to throw at us, I’ll be here for it.

[secretlystephaniebrown]

A Fraction of Your Smile

Donut Siblings return! Even more specifically, General Martha makes her return! 

Martha got an alien sword for like five seconds in Here Comes the General, and as we all know, those have a tendency to result in alien babies. So when @goodluckdetective asked for one of the sisters and a baby, I saw my chance and took it. (For the Charlie verse fans, don’t worry; Locus still manages to get Charlie somehow. I would not deny the world Charlie.) 

Prompts are still open!

Pairings: Gen, implied Tuckington

Warnings: Non-consensual pregnancy. 

Ao3

Martha has long since given up on being able to predict the course of her life. She joins the army after her brother dies, only for her brother to show up nearly a decade later, alive, well, and using a different name. She spends her whole life looking up to him, only to find out he let them all think he was dead for years, and that he shot her little brother. She thinks she’s fighting a war for the right reasons, but it’s all a joke. She thinks she’s just a grunt in the army, but she ends up a general.

She thinks she’ll get to go home, when the war is done, but there’s the awful truth of politics. She can’t leave Kimball alone to deal with all of this.

She thinks she’ll die in Armonia, in the heart of a nuclear explosion, but Carolina is close by with her speed boost and drags her out just in time, barely making it to the Pelican before the words “too late” can pass her lips, but not before apologies and requests to Wash make themselves known.

Things are… awkward. Wash doesn’t know how to handle this, her nearly dying, her forgiveness, and neither does she. So, she decides to do the mature thing and ignore it in favor of yelling at the UNSC about being a bunch of fuckwads and arguing with Kimball over supplies.

It’s during one of those meetings where Martha realizes that there is, apparently, a side effect of that alien sword she’s taken to carrying at her side just to remind everyone she can stab them whenever she feels like it.

The entire group is gathered together. Doyle is arguing with Kimball about resettlement—Martha doesn’t know Chorus well enough to deal with this sort of things, so it’s Doyle’s job. She’s a soldier. She’s not from Chorus. She doesn’t know these things, as Kimball loves to point out. Martha understands, vaguely, that Kimball resents that an outsider has so much power, and it makes sense, it does, Martha’s only qualification is that she was the last woman standing. She’s the survivor. She has an alien sword that ties her to this planet and powerful friends and she’s a terrible leader.

Kimball should be the one in charge and they both know it, but until elections can be arranged, Kimball’s stuck with her. And elections have to wait for a while still.

Martha clears her throat and stands up. “As much as it pains me to be the voice of reason,” she says. “Drop it, you two. We’ll take it up again later. Colonel Sarge, you said you had word of that pirate contingent in the—”

Suddenly Martha sways on her feet, knees buckling, and she clutches the table, but it’s too late, all eyes are on her, and there’s concern on their faces.

“Martha!” Grey is there, placing a hand on her forehead. “What did you eat?”

“Damn it,” Martha mutters. “I thought we were done with assassination attempts.” She doubles over again as a wave of nausea overtakes her, and this time she’s not fast enough, and she vomits.

Simmons shrieks, but Donut is at her other side right away.

Caboose, however, looks at it curiously. “Miss General! I did not realize Junior was coming for a visit!”

“What?” Martha manages. “What the fuck Caboose?”

“Oh hey,” Epsilon says, hovering above it. “It kind of does look… look like Tucker’s…”

“Oh fuck.” Grif says suddenly. “Are you saying Martha’s pregnant too? We already dealt with that once!”

“What do you mean,” Martha says, her voice deceptively mild as she struggles to find her footing, “pregnant?”

Halfway across the room, heads swivel towards Tucker.

“Oh shit,” Tucker says.

Martha turns towards him. “Captain Tucker, if you think this is going to be a good time to make a “who’s the father” joke, you are sorely mistaken.”

“No, not that! Uh. It’s just. I think I know what happened.”

Grey frowns. “Oh?”

“The sword. It, uh. It knocked me up when I first got it. It’s how I got Junior.”

Martha glances at the sword at her hip. “… I’m pregnant with an alien?”

“Oh my,” Grey says faintly. “Martha I think I need to run some tests.” She pauses. “Tucker, how long did your pregnancy last?”

“Not… very… long…” Tucker says, just as Martha went white as a sheet and clutched at her stomach and lets out a blood curdling shriek that proves once and for all that she is related to Wash and Donut.

“From recovering the sword…” Doc says thoughtfully. “Yes, the timing is about right!” Then his voice changes. “Just in time for the little parasite to burst its way out of her abdomen! Mwahahaha!”

“Just tell me this thing isn’t really a chest-burster,” Martha groans.

“I had to have a C-section, so I’d be lying,” Tucker admits.

“I’m going to kill every last one of you for not warning me about this,” Martha snarls. All the Reds and Blues take a step back.

Grey pats Martha on the back. “Let’s get you somewhere private so I can run some tests. And possibly perform surgery!”

“I can’t be giving birth already, I literally just found out! What kind of parasite am I giving birth to?” Martha feels panic bubbling in her chest, because this is wrong, she can’t be pregnant, she can’t be—this can’t be real, it has to be a trick or a joke or something. She doesn’t even speak Sanghelli anymore, she’s forgotten whatever she knew, she can’t…

Martha lets Grey lead her away, leaning on her heavily. “This isn’t possible,” she whispers.

Grey pats her arm. “I know sweetie! But just think of how exciting it is! And at least it’s not another assassination attempt!”

Martha lets out another cry as a wave of pain rips through her. “We need—I don’t know how long—”

“Don’t you worry about a thing!” Grey pats her cheek as she pushes Martha into a hospital bed. “You’re not about to die on me!”

“Thanks Emily,” Martha mutters, screwing her eyes shut as Grey starts to scan her. “For the love of fuck!’ She screams again.

Wash has, theoretically, known that Tucker ended up impregnated with an alien embryo when he got the sword, but he had never made that connection to his sister.

The meeting has thoroughly derailed after that horrifying discovery, with everyone swapping stories about Junior, and Wash and Donut just staring at each other, trying to comprehend what’s happening.

He can’t… he can’t lose Martha again, he nearly lost her at Armonia. Her would have been last words seem to be continuously echo in his mind. “Give them hell, David.”

They haven’t talked about it—Wash had assumed they’d have time, and things had been so busy with reconstruction and rounding up the left over pirates…

“Hey,” Tucker says quietly to him. “Grey’s not about to let anything happen to her. Plus, if I could survive it with Doc, she’ll be fine.”

Wash swallows. “I—you’re right. Thanks.”

Tucker bumps his shoulder against his. “Dude, calm down. It’s Martha. She’s like, indestructible. Actually, I’m pretty sure that’s your whole family.”

Wash opens his mouth to contradict him, but then he considers all the things he, Donut, and Martha have survived just in the past few months, and he closes it again.

Grey comes back. “Well, it looks like her body has… adjusted to having an alien in it,” she declares cheerfully. “I really need to read-up on my xeno-biology! Private Donut, Agent Washington, she’s asked for you.”

Wash barely takes time to be relieved she’ll admit he’s her brother before he and Donut both take off towards the infirmary.

“No C-Section?” Wash asks when he sees Martha. She’s pale and in a hospital gown instead of her armor now, the bulge that is apparently the future alien baby now visible, and she still manages to look murderous despite being soaked in sweat.

“Apparently not needed,” Martha groans. “Fucking—alien—chest—burster!”

“Junior’s great, Martha!” Donut takes one of her hands and squeezes it tightly. “I’m sure our little nephew will be adorable!”

“Like hell I’m having a boy, I’m already dealing with you two,” Martha snaps. “I do not need another Fillmore boy’s capacity for drama!”

“You’re going to keep it?” Wash asks. He doesn’t move closer, remembering Martha’s fury the last time she’d been in the hospital.

“Oh for fuck’s sake stop hovering and grab my fucking hand.”

Wash sits down and does exactly that.

All things considered, the birth is quick, painless, and loud. But soon enough the others are all crowded around Martha’s hospital bed, eager to see the newest addition to Chorus.

Wash glances at the small alien sitting on Martha’s lap.

“What are you going to name…” Tucker squints. “Her? Him? I honestly can’t tell.”

“I’m calling it them until it’s old enough to make up its mind, cuz no one on this planet understands alien gender,” Martha says, patting them on the head, which causes the alien to let out a cooing honk. “And their name is David.”

Wash goes completely still, but not before he catches Donut hiding a smile behind his hand.

“David? Weird name,” Grif comments.

“Named after my dead older brother,” Martha continues.

“Martha!” Wash yells, having finally recovered enough from his initial shock.

“My poor, dead oldest brother. I miss him dearly. I’m so honored to name my first and only child after him—”

“Why are you like this.”

“I wish he could be here to see this moment…”

“I was literally holding your hand while they were born.”

“And weren’t a dirty rotten liar who lets me think he’s dead for years.”

“Your name is David?” Tucker asks Wash.

“I hate all of you.”

“Don’t you think that will get confusing?” Simmons asks. “If you’ve named them after Wash?”

“I figure I’ll call them Day,” Martha says, before she shifts Day on her lap. “I guess it’s time we figure out what you eat, huh you little fucker?”

“Don’t call your kid that!” Simmons shrieks.

“Fine. Who’s Mama’s good little parasite?” She tickles them under the chin, and it lets out another delighted honk.

“Oh my god who let her become a parent,” Wash says, his dawning horror doubtlessly showing on his face, judging Martha’s smirk.

“Oh, you haven’t fed them yet?” Tucker says. “Caboose, get over here.”

“What, am I feeding them Caboose?” Martha says, skeptically.

“Only a little.”

“Oh god you’re serious,” Martha’s clearly alarmed at that, and Wash has to agree.

“Tucker! We’re not feeding them Caboose!”

“They drink blood!” Doc says. “The blood of your enemies!”

Martha and Grey meet eyes.

“Bag of blood and a very sturdy piece of rubber for a bottle?” Martha asks hopefully.

“I’ll see what we can find,” Grey says, patting Martha’s hand and taking off.

Grey returns soon after, and Martha and Day begin a complicated negotiation about proper feeding.

“I’m going to need a goddamn dictionary,” Martha finally says when Day is clutching to her hair, determinedly drinking from the sippie cup Grey had procured from god-knows-where.  “My Sanghelli is rusty.”

“Your accent’s pretty good,” Tucker says. “I can tell that much.”

Martha pauses, considering. “If the sword got me pregnant… does that make Santa Day’s grandpa?”

Wash rolls his eyes. “Martha.”

“It’s an honest question!”

Most of the others have cleared out by now, but Tucker’s staying.

“You mind if I hold them?” Tucker asks. “It’s weird; Junior grew up so quickly. I kinda miss it.”

“If you can get them out of my curls, feel free,” Martha says.

Tucker carefully reaches up and holds out his hands to Day. Day pauses, considering, before untangling themselves out of Martha’s hair and jumping to Tucker. Tucker lets out a huff of air as Day nearly knocks him over, but he adjusts quickly. “Pretty cute, aren’t they?” Tucker asks, grinning.

“I guess,” Martha says. “But I think that might be those weird motherly chemicals.”

“Oh no!” Grey assures her. “The pregnancy was too quick for those to be manufactured properly!”

Martha squints. “Huh. Neat.”

“If you need help, just let me know,” Tucker says. “Us alien single-parents need to stick together.”

Martha looks at him. “Captain Tucker, you’ve made it pretty damn clear you think I’m a tyrannical bitch.”

“Yeah, but you can’t be all that bad,” Tucker says reasonably. “Plus, can you imagine going to Wash for help with a baby?”

“Your point is made. Now hand over my alien spawn. I need to make sure it knows all of the important lessons in life.”

“Martha,” Wash says warningly. “You can’t teach them to bite people you don’t like on command.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Martha says with a sigh. “The only person I would want to do that to is Locus. And Day can’t eat Locus. They might pick up genocidal tendencies.”

Wash keeps looking at her.

“I’m going to teach them to swear in six languages so I can take them to meetings with the UNSC.”

“How,” Wash says slowly. “Are you running an army?”

“Low-level immortality?” Martha shoves Day into his arms. “Stop complaining and hold your nibling.”

Wash stares at Day. Day stares back.

“Hi?” Wash tries. Day sighs and sits down in his lap, still drinking the cup full of blood. “Honk!”

Donut is sniffling in the background. Wash sighs, and pets Day on the head.

“Well,” he says dryly. “At least things won’t be boring.”

“I doubt we were ever in much danger of that,” Martha says. “Now, I just shoved an alien baby out of unspeakable places. So I’m going to nap. Shoo.”

[renaroo]

Recovery None (58/61)

Disclaimer: Red vs Blue and related characters are the property of Rooster Teeth. Warnings: Language, Canon-typically violence, Psychological torture & manipulation, Mentions of gore, Character death, Minor Sexual content Pairings: Yorkalina, Chex Rating: T Synopsis: [Canon Divergence AU] When the Mother of Invention crashed, Project Freelancer was in shambles, its surviving agents scattered, its equipment stolen, and an impending investigation into the crash from the UNSC was on the horizon. To regain control of the deeply corrupted program, the Director established a new unit from his remaining supplies – the Recovery Unit.

Three former Freelancers were chosen for particular tasks: Zero is to hunt down and destroy the Meta, One is to investigate and recover stolen or missing equipment, and Two is to take down AWOL former agents.

Of course, no one’s motivations are what they seem…

A/N: Sorry for how long this chapter took! We’re SO close to the end, guys, but I had a lot of finals and my first surgical assessment (I passed!!!) so it can be a little forgiven. Plus I hope you guys will have more than enough in this chapter to make the wait worthwhile ; ) 

Special thanks to @analiarvb, @notatroll7, @freshzombiewriter, @secretlystephaniebrown, @every-survival, @a-taller-tale, @kiwibat, @icefrozenover, @washingtonstub, DuchessPoint, and Yin for the feedback!

Recovery Zero XVIII: This is How the World Stops

Carolina stared up at the intercom of the ship, her mouth hanging slightly ajar. If she had been able to think more clearly she might have been thankful for the helmet which was keeping her utterly shocked and disgusted expression to herself.

The large soldier, Caboose, didn’t seem nearly as mortified, though his attention was temporarily taken off of Epsilon’s projection. 

“Hey!” he called out happily. “That sounds like Church!”

“Oh my god,” Carolina finally spat out, bewildered. 

“I’m confident in saying that if there was a god, he wouldn’t be making either of us listen to this,” Epsilon said, disgruntled.

“You asshole,” Carolina hissed. “You wanted that to be you a few hours ago, Mister Binary.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t acting on it. So it’s not me who’s the asshole, it’s Alpha-Church!” he declared.

Caboose gasped. “That’s Church’s first name? He told me it was Leonard. Why would Church lie to me? Does this mean you’re his bestest friend instead of me?”

The full body flinch that Carolina gave at the name was unexpected, for some reason, and she couldn’t tell where her own reaction ended and Epsilon’s began, but regardless they were both caught flat on their feet staring at Caboose. 

He was staring blankly back without any possible understanding of the shock he had just given to both Carolina and Epsilon’s systems. 

Then, without warning, he broke the tension by stepping forward and waving his hands through Epsilon’s projection again with a chirping “Beep Bop Boop Boop.”

“Okay, that’s gotta stop at some point,” Epsilon said flatly growing more and more annoyed. 

“Do you realize what he’s saying, Epsilon?” Carolina asked critically. “What that means we just heard?”

Epsilon looked back to her, ignoring how his visage was interrupted every couple of seconds by Caboose’s motions. “Do you realize how much I’m trying not to think about what you just heard or what I just missed out on?”

“Oh my god, I’m going to shove you out of my head if you don’t stop that,” Carolina groaned. 

“Carolina, I might leave on my own if you don’t stop that. I”m already suffering from a crisis of identity! I don’t need more confusion in who we are to each other, Cee! It’s already confusing!” Epsilon cried out.

“How is it complicated? You’re just my partner,” Carolina replied, not even believing that for herself in the least bit as it came cascading out of her mouth. 

Epsilon gave a slight gasp before turning and tilting his head up. “I’m so offended right now. How can you say that? We’re.... Shit, we’re like family!”

Carolina raised a brow at him. “Obviously you’ve not been in my head long enough to know that going by my family standards, we couldn’t be further from that.”

Giving a slight sigh, Epsilon looked almost apologetically back at her. “Yeah... I’ve been here long enough.And that’s also why I know it’s a good thing we’re here -- why we’re going to go after him together.” He paused and then, rather snarkily added. “Also why it’s a good thing that we weren’t in that room a minute ago.”

“Oh my god, stop!” Carolina demanded. 

There was bound to be more snark, but it quickly disappeared from the forefront in exchange for anger as Caboose waved through his projection again.

“For fuck’s sake!” Epsilon screeched.

“Yup,” Caboose said, crossing his arms like he accomplished something. “Definitely a Church. I’m so glad we have more Churches around.”

Epsilon released a long suffering sigh but seemed resolute in not responding to Caboose’s claim directly. Which was curious considering Epsilon’s zero tolerance policy with nearly every other thing they had come across thus far. 

Carolina began to mention it when the ship lit up again. “Dear god please don’t be doing it again,” Carolina gasped out in horror, looking to the intercom again only for the entire ship to respond by quaking. 

Thinking faster even than Carolina, Epsilon turned on the suit’s grav boots and kept Carolina planted while Caboose stumbled back with the rocking of the ship and let out a yell of confusion. 

“Are we traveling through time again!? I hate doing that,” Caboose moaned out, back hitting the wall.

Epsilon flickered green for a moment then looked back to Carolina. “Cee, it was an explosion on the bow. Someone’s coming in.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Delta is,” Epsilon replied. 

“I’m not getting used to that any time soon, just so you’re aware,” she informed him before moving to glance down the halls through which they came. “Does Delta have any idea who would be attacking the busted up, broken ship.”

“If you’re asking me for a list of people out to get any one of us in this ship... I can’t put that in a reasonably sized grocery list, Cee. That’s like... a college essay. With citations,” Epsilon replied. 

Annoyed, Carolina turned toward Caboose. “Aright, soldier. We need to move in and locate Texas and the Alpha then figure out a method of attack.”

“Who? I thought Tex was with Church,” Caboose replied, scratching at his helmet.

Epsilon popped up over her opposite shoulder and tilted his head somewhat sarcastically. “Used to that yet either?”

“Absolutely not,” she replied before pointing at Caboose. “We’re moving ahead.”

“Okay,” Caboose responded before staying motionless. He even rocked back on the balls of his feet with a small hum. 

“We’re going to find the other two, aren’t you coming?” Carolina asked, irritation flaring up.

“Me?” Caboose asked, pointing at his chest. “Oh no no no. Church told me I had to guard here and that he’d come and get me again ‘over his cold, dead body.’”

Carolina and Epsilon glanced toward each other and then back to Caboose. “And you’re okay with following that order?”

“Oh, yes,” Caboose said with a nod. “Why, Church should be back any minute now!!!”

“I can’t translate any of that,” Epsilon replied. “But we need to get moving either way, Cee.”

“Sure,” Carolina replied, looking over Caboose again warily. “We’ll come back for you soon, soldier.”

“Church’ll beat you to it. Bye pretty lady! Bye tiny Church! I’ll remember you always!” Caboose waved.

“Fucking hell, let’s get out of here,” Epsilon groaned to Carolina before disappearing from view. 

Not feeling any desire to fight that instruction, Carolina took off. 

York was still not sold on the plan. He waved toward the glowing green machine and looked worriedly toward the simulation troopers and Washington. “How do we know that these things are safe? I didn’t even like to use them when they just took us from one end of the training room floor to the other.”

“We don’t know that they’re safe,” Simmons answered. “Last time we used one it completely separated all of us.”

“And then we were sent to this terrible, apocalyptic future that we’re still struggling with the horrendous realization that we missed the bulk of the war, and thus our chance to kill as many of those damn dirty Blues as humanly possible!” Sarge called out in what sounded like genuine anguish before he refocused his gaze on Washington. “Though we may still have some opportunity if only we are to seize it.”

Wash stared dully back at them, which had a level of sass behind it even with helment on that York was nearly impressed. 

“I would rather not get back into the Red and Blue stuff,” Wash said flatly. 

Confused, York tilted his head and looked at his friend. “What? Are you one of these Blues supposedly or something?” 

Washington looked at him like he was growing horns. 

Seeing there was some sort of nerve -- either by questioning simulation trooper loyalty or just because Wash seemed to want to kick his face in, Wash raised a hand to make York stop before he could even speak. 

“If you have to ask about Blues and Reds at this point it’s too late for you. Even if you are a Red for some reason beyond me,” Wash informed him.”

Blinking, York was bewildered. “Holy shit, you really are taking this simulation trooper stuff seriously. Holy hell.”

“Let’s just get moving, alright? Wash suggested. He then stepped toward the ledge of the base’s side and looked down to the tank. “Sheila, we still good on the location that Tex and Carolina went? No more surprises?”

“Well, there is the surprise of Tucker being pregnant--”

“No. No he’s not,” Wash corrected. “Now, anything else before we put our asses on the line for the unknown?”

“Everything checks out on our end, Agent Washington,” Niner’s voice called over the tank’s intercom. 

There was a shudder, subtle as it may have been, that went through Wash at her voice but he nodded and accepted the information all the same. “Okay then,” he replied. “We’re about to end up in the middle of a situation we know next to nothing about. Is everyone who’s willing to go here?” He then looked around. “All... four of us? Seriously,you could only convince Simmons to go, Sarge?”

"Donut made the very decent case that at least one accountable member of Red Team should be available the moment a Blue gives birth so as to begin the ritual mocking of the Baby Blue from initiation,” Sarge explained. “It is our hope that in doing so, the baby will realize what a mistake it has made in life by being born and concede to the superiority of the Red Army immediately.”

York couldn’t help but crackle with laughter, crossing his arms. “Well, if that’s not a way to win a war, what is then?” he asked, words dripping with sarcasm. 

“Do not encourage him,” Washington warned before glancing back to Sarge. “You couldn’t get Grif to go?”

The Red leader stared at Washington with an intensity that was almost impressive to watch.

“Right, of course, what was I thinking,” Wash said dully. “Okay. I guess this is it then. Myself. Two Reds. And a Freelancer I can’t even turn my back on.”

Holding his hands over his chest plate, York gave an exaggerated stumble back. “Ouch, Wash. Jesus. You can’t even give me the benefit of the doubt? I haven’t explained my side of the story yet--”

“And that would be the sound of me not caring,” Wash replied tersely. He glanced toward York. “Not caring about your side of the story, is what I was saying. Because I don’t. Honestly. The idea of hearing it kind of bores me.”

“Rawwrrrr!” Sarge hissed. “Cat fight.”

Simmons sighed and lowered his head. “This does make me want to hang out with more of the women around here. There’s no way they’re this superficial and ready to throw down.”

“Obviously you’ve not met my ex for long,” York joked. “I’ve never met anyone more willing to throw down in my life. And Tex--”

“You don’t get to talk about Tex,” Wash said firmly.

“Are you serious, dude?” York asked, beginning to lose his temper. 

"More than serious,” Washington replied without hesitation. 

“Not everyone and everything is out to get you, Wash, calm the fuck down,” York all but ordered.

“No, York, everything is out to get me and the troopers here, and worst of all no one seems to give a damn or want to help,” Wash bit back.

York drastically waved to himself. “I’m trying to help! What the hell happened to you that made you so fucking paranoid?”

“Classic Agent Washington,” Simmons stage whispered toward Sarge. 

“What happened?” Wash asked back with a strained laugh. “What happened is that when push came to shove, when everything was falling apart, all those jokes about the worst Freelancer, about the lowest on the totem pole, all those things that I convinced myself didn’t really matter because I really thought I was a part of something, weren’t enough to even make me worth coming back for. Weren’t enough for anyone to take it seriously when I was truly down and out,” Wash snapped. “Not until I got here. So excuse me if I’m not warm and inviting to someone who never bothered to extend the same to me.”

Mouth open, York for perhaps the first time in his life, found himself utterly speechless in response. He was only able to get out a low, “That’s not what happened-- I ever said...”

“The only thing more fake about Freelancer and the supposed team they made just to tear up from the inside out, was the relationships they tried to convince us existed between a bunch of cutthroats who were way more interested in who was on top than who was at their side,” Washington said scathingly. “And it just took a former teammate to shoot me in the back and a few ridiculous escapades with people more abused by the program than even me before I could really parse out everything that Freelancer had been wrong about.”

Swallowing, York tried to take a breath and not let his ego be any more wounded than his physical body. “I’m here now, Wash,” he said desperately. 

“Then maybe you can prove me as wrong as I’ve been proving everyone else,” Wash replied. 

The terse silence that followed the proclamations was suffocating. York felt more dressed down than he had even in basic. And he wasn’t so sure he had anyone to blame for the matter but himself. 

Those friendships, those relationships... That idea he had of finally coming in at the last second and saving Wash from the program. Were they truly so unfathomable to other people? And were they right to be skeptical of his generosity. 

York wasn’t sure about the answers, but he was sure he wasn’t going to like them either way. 

But these things had never been fake on his end. And if he hadn’t made it obvious enough to the people around him, well, that was something that was going to need fixing, starting right that moment.

"Holy fuck, are you all still here?” Niner’s voice called over the speakers of the tank as it rolled up closer to the base. The cannon then turned to face Wash and York directly, which made the latter back up nervously while Washington stared at it as if it was an eyeline. “Aren’t you supposed to be helping my girls?”

“Yes,” Wash replied before tilting his head toward York. “You going to have anymore objections to the transporter?”

“No,” York replied.

“Well,” Niner continued. “Stop dicking around! Get the fuck outta here!”

“I think I trusted the tank more when no one was driving it,” Simmons sighed before running through the teleporter. 

“Well,” Sarge said, looking to York. “You know what they say! Today’s a good day to die!” he called before rushing through the teleporter. 

Washington seemed unfazed by the commentary and walked toward the teleporter with something of a sigh. 

“Wait, Wash,” York called out, getting his former teammate to turn and look at him. “I... You’re not going to believe me but I tried to come back for you,” York told him. “Because I made a promise on the ship and... I intended to keep it. But I didn’t. And... honestly, I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. Breaking promises. And kinda being a dick beforehand so people don’t really expect me to go back and make good on them. So.”

“I hope there’s a point following all of this,” Wash said coldly. “Because I need to go after Caboose, Church, and Tex. My friends.”

“My point is, prepared to be surprised by the York that realizes he’s made mistakes and is going to be doing better,” York replied, waving to the damage to his armor. “Because the way things were before? Obviously haven’t worked out so great for us.”

Washington stared at him and then turned back to the teleporter. “You’re still a Red,” he said almost in annoyance.

“And you’re apparently a Blue,” York joked back, following close behind. 

“That’ll make it really hard to stop hating you,” Washington explained to him.

“I’m all about the impossible odds,” York replied.

After Wash went through the teleporter first, York hung back for just a moment. He didn’t trust the things -- didn’t even like them in simulation. There was no telling if it worked or not.

There was a heavy sigh over the intercom behind him. “Dicking around, York.”

“Niner, you’re a beautiful asset in every way,” York said jokingly before making a show of the moment by turning around, waving goodbye to her, and doing a bit of a backwards trust fall into the lights of the teleporter. 

In truth, he should have anticipated immediately falling into Wash’s back but for some reason he was caught off guard by it when he went immediately from blistering savannah heat to freezing, snow-covered cold. 

“Hey!” Wash growled, though he stumbled right into Sarge and Simmons. 

“Sorry,” York said, twisting around on his heels to face the others and offering his hand to Wash, though the fellow Freelancer neglected to take it. “Seriously, sorry. But believe me, on the other side of that teleporter, the move looked smooth as silk.”

“Oh, well, as long as the important things are prioritized,” Wash said scathingly before turning back around. 

“I told you, Sarge, worst Freelancer,” Simmons grumped. 

“Okay, you keep that up and someone’s going to get offended,” York warned. “Like me. I’m feeling a slight offense here.”

“Let up on him, Simmons! Everyone knows that style points add to the overall objective,” Sarge admonished the maroon wearing soldier. “If anything, this merely proves to validity of his position on Red Team. Why, on this path, he’ll eventually end up replacing Grif, too!”

Simmons managed to look scandalized even with full armor on. “Too? What do you mean too? You don’t mean he’s replaced me? How could he replace me!? Sarge!”

“Whoop, said too much,” Sarge chuckled. 

York, having more than enough of the sideshow, pressed forward toward Wash instead. The bruising of his ego wasn’t feeling any better, but he was more concerned by the tenseness in Wash’s shoulders as he stopped up ahead. And once York was with him, he could see why. 

“Damn,” York hissed. “Didn’t think I’d end up back here ever again.”

But surely enough they were -- the Mother of Invention looking down on them even in ruin. 

"And you’re going to wish you hadn’t, I’m afraid.”

Recognizing the voice, York turned and looked in surprise to see none other than Wyoming standing nearby, rifle aimed and at the ready. “Wyoming!?” he called out in shock. 

“What a tactical error!” Sarge cried out. “Giving up the element of surprise when you have natural camouflage in the terrain!” 

“Can’t this guy take a hint?” Simmons groaned. 

“Couldn’t be gladder that he can’t,” Wash replied ruthlessly, pulling out his own battle rifle and taking aim. 

York could see things escalating beyond control but he held out his arm to stop Wash all the same, visibly annoying the other Freelancer. “Wait a second, the Sergeant has a point.”

“Would you stop calling him that?” Wash asked in a strained voice. “He doesn’t need legitimacy.”

“Don’t listen to the Blue, Red Freelancer!” Sarge ordered. “Their team can’t even keep their leaders alive!”

“Everyone wait a second and calm down,” York reiterated. “Wyoming could have been more sneaky. He’s distracting us for some reason. Keeping us from the ship. And if we don’t want to rush into a big trap or, at the very least, miss something, we should figure out why.”

“Why indeed,” Wyoming chuckled. “I must say, mates, you’ve looked better in the past. And I cannot help but note that Gary here is letting me know that he detects no AI among you. That is most unexpected. Especially for you, York.”

York lowered his head, his chest clenching uncomfortably. He could feel Wash’s gaze on him. 

“It’s true,” he answered the question Wash wouldn’t ask. “I lost... It took Delta.”

“It?” Wash asked. He then shook his head. “Nevermind. It doesn’t matter. What matters is stopping Wyoming. Because I think I’ve figured out just who he’s been working for this whole time. And it wasn’t the Omega AI.”

“Omega was... O’Malley, wasn’t it?” Simmons asked Sarge. “I need to make some more charts -- did anyone bring paper?”

“Is that so, Agent Washington? Well then, how about you just share with the class who I’m working for if you’re so confident you have the answer,” Wyoming mocked. 

Washington glared in Wyoming’s direction. “it’s so obvious now. I don’t know why I couldn’t figure it out before. The concentration on Blood Gulch. Your obsession with Tex and Church. Then how you helped Omega and Gamma torture him with those makeshift units -- that wasn’t technology you could have made on your own. And it’s not something that you stole from Recovery because I had a list of all missing equipment that was high priority. That leaves only one answer.”

York furrowed his brows. “And?”

“He works for the Director,” Wash revealed. “And he’s not a trap for us, he’s just here to keep us from walking into the one that Tex, Carolina, Caboose, and Church already walked into.”

Carolina was expecting a lot of things, a lot of defenses, but the more she ran along the halls of her former base of operation, the more Carolina realized she was surrounded not by the strong walls and thick, closed doors of Freelancer but by the decrepit ruins of what once had been.

It was as if the Mother of Invention had never truly been the prestige and magnificence she had thought it was to begin with.

Getting poetic on me, are we? Epsilon half mocked.

“Now’s not the time,” Carolina bit back. “This... facing memories like these isn’t easy, alright?”

Hell if that ain’t the truth, Epsilon responded lowly. 

They reached a corner where Carolina slid into her turn, Epsilon adjusting for it with the suspension of her suit’s boots, but neither of them were expecting to come to an abrupt stop. Or to be face to face with Tex’s familiar visage. 

“Slow down, NASCAR,” Tex joked as Carolina slid shoulder first into the opposing wall with her surprise. “What a shitty AI you have who couldn’t read us coming down the hall. I’d trade him out for something more reliable.”

“Hey, fuck off,” Epsilon snapped, appearing over Carolina’s shoulder as she pushed herself back onto her feet. 

“Hey, don’t tell my girlfriend to fuck off, that’s my job!” a near identical voice responded.

Surprised, Carolina glanced over to Tex and looked over her more thoroughly, realizing that a cobalt armored someone -- or something considering the craziness that had been their adventures lately -- was hanging over Tex’s other shoulder. 

“I never confirmed that we were still a thing,” Tex said with a flip of her wrist. 

“We just fucked! I’m the one masking our signal for you -- you’re welcome by the way,” he responded, though the armor didn’t so much as move. 

Carolina physically flinched and backed half a step away from the scene. “Oh my god, is that...? I think I’m going to be sick,” Carolina said, actually feeling woozy. The sounds from the intercoms were still echoing in her ears. 

"Careful,” Tex warned. There was a certain protectiveness in her tone that Carolina hadn’t really been expecting and almost immediately made her bristle in return. 

They were going to have to work a lot more on their communication skills, that much was certain. 

“The Alpha,” Epsilon said all the same. “Oh my god, he’s a prick isn’t he? Goddammit. What’s my schtick supposed to be?”

“I’m not the Alpha, I’m fucking Leonard Church, and I’m not a prick! I’m a bastard and an asshole, but I am not a prick,” the other AI shot back, strangely still not moving the host armor seemingly. “Wait, are these jerks like Washington? Do they think I’m some kind of computer... Wait I am a computer? Shit my headache’s coming back.”

“Can he not control himself?” Carolina asked Tex seriously.

“From my understanding, it was just that good,” Tex replied plainly. 

The wooziness returned and Carolina verbally gagged, leaning against the wall. “Oh my god!” 

“Oh, grow up!” Tex snapped. “We’re not them, and even if we were, that’d be a sign of a good relationship.”

Lowering closer to the ground, Carolina gagged more. Her head shook. “I can’t... fucking hell.”

“I barely can. And it’s kinda me?” Epsilon replied. 

“Carolina, Epsilon, get your collective shit together, we have something bigger to take on right now,” Tex ordered. “The Director is definitely here. And I’m pretty sure that now he has all the evidence he wants that we’re all here. He’s going to see us coming.”

"Hey, if we had to hear it, then no wonder,” Epsilon snarked back.

“Oh my god, this needs to stop,” Carolina ordered. It was enough to make Epsilon disappear from her shoulder and give her the ability to fully concentrate on this so-called Church and Tex. Her eyes narrowed in on her former ‘teammate.’ “If we don’t have the element of surprise, we have to assume that he does. And I don’t like giving him anything.”

Tex cockily tilted her head to the side. “Look at that, something we all can agree on. My suggestion is we do something unexpected.”

“Or hit him so fast he won’t even see us coming,” Carolina said, punching into her left hand. 

No sooner had the suggestion left her mouth than the entire ship shook around them, loud crashing and shattering coming from the direction of the hull and bringing all four of their attentions toward it. 

“Or,” the Alpha added, “we could wait five seconds for everything to implode in on itself like it always does. And deal with that nuclear fallout.”

“Church, tap into the security feed and tell me what’s going on out there,” Tex demanded.

“He can do that?” Carolina asked in surprise.

“Already did that,” Church corrected cockily. “And it... Wow. Okay. Looks like Blood Gulch is fighting... I want to say Wyoming? But there’s someone else there... someone not good. And I can’t really remember why.”

“Do they need help?” Tex asked flatly.

“Don’t they always?” Church retorted.

Carolina looked between the two AI suspiciously. “What are we doing here? Are we going after the Director or are we checking on whatever nonsense is happening outside and give him an escape route. Again?”

Tex kept a level gaze on Carolina. “Well, that’s up to you, Carolina, isn’t it? I already know what Church and I are going to prioritize. Guess the only one who needs to ask here is you.”

Epsilon reappeared over her shoulder and looked warily toward her. What’re we doing, Cee? he asked.

Gritting her teeth, Carolina made her decision against every instinct of self preservation inside of her.

There were many things York was expecting to happen when he finally got his shit together and went after his somewhat-kind-of-girlfriend in the middle of a colony planet that was basically collapsing in on itself. 

One of those did not happen to be taking more bullets than he already had.

“Sergeant!” York gritted out, shoving the man out of the way and into a snowbank just before Wyoming could snipe him off the face of the planet.

“Red Team Freelancer!” the Red leader cried out in irritation, elbowing York’s helmet on his way to wiggle free. “You are interfering with Assault Plan Be-Red-or-Be-Dead!”

York sputtered as he recovered from the elbow to his face, shaking his head before looking worriedly toward the man he had somewhat-kind-of sworn allegiance in a very shortsighted plan. “You were rushing him! You were going toward the bullets?”

“Of course I was! I am an inventor, son,” Sarge explained angrily. “I have modified this shotgun for a very special method of attack!”

“Does that modification involve giving yourself a dome shield? Because I think there is a fatal error otherwise,” York argued, pulling out his own shotgun.

“Of course not! Shields are for Blues! And fools who don’t wish glorious, glorious death on the battlefield!” Sarge snapped. “The modification is that my shotgun shoots at nearly ten times the force of a normal shotgun!”

York blinked in surprise. “What? Really?”

“Yes, it only requires me to be within range,” Sarge explained. “Range just happens to be three feet.”

Stunned, York stared at the man for a few moments before throwing up his arms. “What kind of gun only gives you a range of three feet! That seems like a poor trade off for a long range weapon.”

“Hm,” Sarge hummed before shifting and looking over his shoulder toward the rock where Simmons was hiding with his head covered. “Simmons! Why didn’t you bring up the cons to having this shotgun? Is Red Team Freelancer truly the only person looking out for my wellbeing!?”

"What!? But I did tell you that!” Simmons cried out before lifting his head just enough to send a glare York’s way. “Stop fucking up our team dynamics!”

“Your team dynamics suck,” York defended. “Back in Freelancer we were all-- Wait a second. Freelancer. Wash. Where’s Washington!?”

Sarge waved his hand nonchalantly. “Pfft. As if we’d care at all what stupid plan that Blue has in mind. Sneaking up on your white buddy. Stupid Blue. Hope he kills the guy shooting at us so that I can turn around and shoot him in the back. Just as the Good Lord intended!” 

“What?” York replied before looking toward the higher grounds where Wyoming had stuck himself and saw that Wash was sneaking up behind him. “Shit, he’ll get caught, he’ll--” York took a breath and then looked back to Sarge and Simmons. “Sergeant! You can’t really want that... that Blue taking your glorious victory in this battle!”

“Hell no I don’t!” Sarge agreed. “Time to charge--”

“No, no,” York quickly reached out and grabbed Sarge’s wrist, making him stay steady. “No. Rather than that, I say we play this smart. I say we press an offensive to the East here, all three of us, and push Wyoming back. Give him a real distraction to deal with.”

Simmons shook his head. “You want to literally turn us into a distraction?”

“Not a distraction!” York argued, holding up one finger prominently. “The best distraction. Obviously.”

The two Reds looked at each other.

“Sarge, you can’t be taking this seriously,” Simmons argued. “He’s just trying to help the other Freelancer...”

“Serious is my third middle name, Simmons!” Sarge called out. “Right after Danger and Ramos.”

Having many questions, but not nearly enough time to go over them all, York waved them forward. “Come on, guys, I’ll start us off. Let’s take this white sonovabitch out -- wow I just realized what that sounded like. Moving forward anyway.”

To his surprise, moving forward was actually went far better than it should have. 

The moment the signal was given, with a scream originating in Simmons’ direction, York was leading the three of them into a sprint from their respective covers to the base of Wyoming’s own grounds. York managed the cover fire for all of the Reds’ inadequacies. 

Wyoming visibly looked shocked by the sudden change up. “What the devil,” he said before standing up and backing up to further himself from the range of their fire. 

Which pressed his back right into Washington’s rifle barrel. 

“Hi, there,” Wash greeted when Wyoming spun around, then he used the butt of his gun to knock their old teammate entirely off his feet, sending him tumbling through the snow and into--

York blinked and Wyoming was now facing Washington with his gun at the ready. 

“What the--” Wash said just before getting the butt of Wyoming’s own rifle to his chin, sending him down to the ground.

“Wash!” York yelled. 

“Looks as though you’ve still not learned anything, old friend,” Wyoming said, aiming for Wash’s head. “Damn shame, that.”

“Hmm, maybe we have enough room for one more Freelancer on this team!” Sarge called out. 

Before York could react, however, there was a guttural roar that interrupted them all. The kind of noise that sent a chill down York’s still very injured spine. 

Wyoming was tackled from her perch by a whirl of white, taken past York and the Reds and into the snow, where a familiar gold dome glared the sunlight back at them. 

“Oh god no,” York muttered as a snarl came from the Meta and it threw Wyoming’s helmet their way. 

“No! Get off me, ol’ chap--” Wyoming let out before there was a strangled cry as the Meta’s arm thrust out in a ripping motion. 

“Oh, fuck,” York said, stepping back as the Meta rose to his feet. 

“Who the fuck is this guy!?” Simmons cried out. 

“Someone trying to steal our battle’s glory!” Sarge replied.

York didn’t have an answer, he just rose his gun, and let a stunned Wash stumbling to his feet above them give an answer instead. 

“Maine!?” Wash cried out.

[renaroo]

Double Time (6/24)

Disclaimer: Red vs Blue and related characters are the property of Rooster Teeth. Warnings: Language, Canon-typical violence Pairings: Tuckington, Chex Rating: T Synopsis: [Hero Time Sequel] After the events of Hero Time, the city and Blood Gulch are prepared for the true return of superheroes in a big way. But while Washington is attempting to adjust to a new relationship and a new living arrangement, the call of new heroes and a new mayor mean major changes for his professional life as well as his personal one. How will the balance of values fare when his new partners come to test everything he’s made of.

A/N: WHOO I kept on schedule and posted on Monday! Just like I wanted! WHOO. Anyway, this was a SUPREMELY fun chapter to write and I hope that transfers over to your guys’ enjoyment <3 Because it’s time for some shenanigans in this supposed comedy of errors. 

Special thanks to @analiarvb, @secretlystephaniebrown, @freshzombiewriter, @washingtonstub, @icefrozenover, @ashleystlawrence, @fuckyeahroosterteethproductions, @thepheonixqueen, @cobaltqueen, @justsmilesome, Yin, @notatroll7, @a-taller-tale, @orestes-swimming, and orangecookiekay on AO3 and tumblr for the wonderful feed back! I truly appreciate it more than you know.

Power Team

Tucker sat back against the hood of his car, right by a dent that would have probably been enough to make a regular car owner take the vehicle immediately to the shop. Of course, it was the least distracting part of the vehicle in Wash’s assessment so Tucker, of course, did nothing to signify embarrassment. 

No, he simply leaned back with his arms folded and a significant pout on his face for completely unrelated reasons to the moment at hand. 

“I look so dumb,” Tucker groaned. 

Washington was wearing spandex and kevlar that fit his every curve so he found little pity within himself to offer Tucker for having to wear sunglasses and a hoodie. “You’re fine.”

Tucker lowered his glasses enough to raise a brow and smirk slightly. “What kind of fine?”

“Not now,” Washington warned, holding up his hand. “The teenagers will be here soon and I don’t think all of them are aware of my identity. Which is why you’re dressed like that. And why I’m dressed like this.”

“Like a tool?” Tucker asked. 

“What is up with you lately?” Wash finally asked, turning enough to leer at Tucker. “You’re just so... aggressive.”

“By who’s standards?” Tucker replied snappishly.

“You just did it again,” Washington said pointing at him. “And now you’re about to change the subject--”

“Did you call Tex like I asked?” Tucker changed subjects, expectedly. 

“Goddammit, Tucker,” Wash groaned before rubbing his face. “Yes. Yes, I called Tex to ask her and she spent about ten minutes laughing at me before hanging up. So her not being here has nothing to do with me not coming up on my end.”

“Bow chicka bow wow.”

Letting out a sharp breath, Washington turned toward Tucker and put his hands on his hips. “That has to be the most passive aggressive innuendo I’ve heard in my life,” he announced.

“Heard a lot of them?” Tucker asked, tilting his head.

“Mostly from you,” Wash admitted, looking to his wrist for the time. “Everyone should be arriving soon. You know, you don’t have to be here. I’ll keep Junior by my side. You being here is kind of like... I don’t know. Parents who stay and watch basketball practice.”

Tucker, if possible, got tenser. “Right. Because I’m just an overprotective, single parent.”

Wash looked at Tucker, sensing that barely suppressed upset again. “I didn’t mean it that way--”

“What way?” Tucker asked sharply. “I swear to fucking god, you are so dense. You don’t even know what I’m upset about.”

“No, I don’t, so why don’t you tell me later after we get through here?” Wash offered in what he hoped wasn’t a dismissive tone, though he had his doubts given Tucker’s continuing, building upset. “Tucker--”

“Don’t give my name out in public or anything,” Tucker said, throwing his wrist fully into a dismissive hand wave. “I mean, fuck, hate to have anyone know you’re together with someone when they already seem to know about every other aspect of your life.”

Opening his mouth, Washington tried desperately, and failed, to find an adequate response. But even if he had had more than a few seconds he probably would not have been able to think of anything.

Even so, the moment was thankfully upended by the loud THUD of Junior leaping onto the top of the car and throwing up his arms in an excited honk.

He was wearing his usual playtime ‘superhero suit’ -- blanket cape, rubber rain boots, and all. Wash didn’t miss how it was a Texas merch shirt rather than a Washington one. 

It was very difficult to not take it immediately into offense. 

When neither Tucker nor Wash had responded appropriately toward Junior’s arrival, he clapped his jaws together in warning and glared at them both before performing a little jump and honking again. 

Catching on immediately, both Tucker and Washington began clapping for the child’s arrival which led to excitable cooing from Junior. 

“You look very heroic, Junior,” Wash commended him while Tucker lifted the little hybrid off the car and onto the street. “You’re going to make all the other heroes very jealous after I introduce you today.”

Tucker gave Wash a look. “Really? He’s wearing rubber boots.”

“Which are insulated from electrocution,” Washington said without pause.

Slowly, Tucker picked Junior back up and held onto him defensively. “What the hell are you planning on doing to the children, Wash?”

“What? Nothing! I didn’t mean it like--” Wash stopped himself and shook his head. “Nevermind. I was just being hyperbolic.”

“Is that a superhero term?” Tucker asked, holding onto Junior despite his son’s struggling to get free.

“No,” Wash said deadpanned just before there was the sound of multiple feet running in their direction. Wash turned and looked as the four teenagers from the courthouse made it to them breathlessly. “Good! You’ve come, and five minutes early. Not to mention you had the foresight to hide your identities by not bringing your personal vehicles with you and hiding them off sight. Very forward thinking.”

The four were catching their breaths. 

“Actually,” the one who was scantily clad save for the outrageous cape all but gulped down with his air. “None of us have cars. So we had to catch a bus here. Didn’t even know buses run to this part of town.”

“Oh,” Wash said, rubbing at his neck. “Okay, I’ll be sure to clarify transport with the four of you for next time. But it does show initiative that you changed and hid your clothes in the area. That’s also smart. Did you change in one of the alleys or abandoned buildings?”

Again, a silence fell over the group awkwardly and Jensen rubbed at her arm. “Aw, geesh,” she slurred through her braces. “We kinda rode here in costume.”

Tucker began laughing behind him as Wash stared at the group in disbelief.

“On... the public bus?” Wash asked critically.

“Were we not supposed to do that, Washington, Sir?” the tallest one asked worriedly.

“I told you it was stupid,” the one in orange accents snapped at the group.

“I was just suggesting to be practical!” the scantily clad one cried out.

“Palomo, you just want to show off your tight bod!” Jensen seethed. 

“Which is not built,” the yellow one snapped with a shake of his head.

“I’m built! I do cross fit!” Palomo defended. 

“Okay, enough!” Washington ordered, getting everyone’s attention back on him. “I’m partially to blame for this, I didn’t go over the basics when we initially met with the mayors. I’m aiming to correct that mistake starting today. So let’s start with an introduction. My name is Washington. I am a senior hero, used to be with the superhero team known as the Freelancers--”

“I used to have all your comics!!!” Jensen exploded with excitement. “On the fan forums I used to multiship you with almost all the other Freelancers! My OTP was definitely you and Maine!”

Wash glanced toward her. “Which... of course is not disconcerting or creepy to me at all.” He then continued, “Before Freelancer I went through the sidekick program as Epsilon. And since Freelancer’s disbandment after the Invasion I have taken up residence here in Blood Gulch to become something of a nighttime vigilante.”

The group watched him in awe. 

“Now, I’m going to teach the four of you what I know and, hopefully, help you to become the heroes this city needs,” Wash said further.

“But are they the ones it deserves?” Tucker all but sniggered in the background.

Wash gave him a look before seeing the way Junior was hiding behind his father’s legs, only peaking out to look at the new heroes with caution from time to time. 

“Which reminds me,” Wash said, turning to the group. “Introductions are in order. I need names and I need the kind of powers we’re dealing with.”

“Sir, yessir!” the tall one in blue said with a salute. “My name is John Elizabeth Andersmith!” He then flexed, each part of his body that showed skin suddenly morphed before their eyes to a shiny, metallic color. “I can turn my skin into an organic metal.”

“That’s astounding,” Wash said, blinking. He then thought harder about it and tilted his head. “What do you mean by organic metal?” 

“Sir?” Andersmith asked back curiously. 

“Organic elements and metallic ones aren’t... usually the same,” Wash tried to explain. “So when you say organic metal do you mean like a metal that’s in your body components naturally? Like copper or iron or zinc? Or...”

“I’m... not sure,” Andersmith said. “Isn’t all metal the same?”

“They have different strengths, different melting points,” Wash continued before shaking his head. “You know what? It’s really something we can figure out later. And we will figure it out later. I need to know if you can walk through lava or not without melting.”

“Lava?” the kids repeated in alarm.

“Again, Wash, I ask just what the hell you’re doing in these training sessions,” Tucker called from beside him. 

Giving his boyfriend an expectant stare, Wash expected for Tucker to back off but he merely crossed his arms and looked expectantly back. Sighing and giving in, Wash looked back to the teenagers. 

Katie Jensen, the secretary Wash remembered readily, stepped forward. She was so excited she was verging on hyperventilating. 

“Are you alright?” Wash asked. 

“I-I’m g-great!” she wheezed. “Just. Wow. Excited. Oh! I’m also Katie Jensen and-and-and... Powers! Right. Okay, I’m magnetic! Not, like, personality or anything. Heh. I mean. Wow, it’s super awkward to be around someone in person. That you didn’t treat like a person. And shipped with other real-people. Wow. Okay. Hi.”

Washington rubbed his shoulder. “Right. Let’s just... not discuss that part.”

“Oh! Yeah. Okay. That makes sense,” she said, voice getting more slurred and blubbery as her cheeks lit up. “Stupid, Jensen, stupid. Get it together, girl.”

“Taking sympathy on the young woman, Wash tried to edge her in the right direction. “You were telling us that you’re magnetic. You mind expanding on that a bit?”

“Of course!” she half-shouted, throwing up her arms in excitement. Sure enough, as she did so, an explosive burst came out from her -- moving Tucker’s car back onto the curb, knocking most of her teammates over, and causing the knives at Wash’s utility belt to be thrown backward.

Fortunately, Wash moved fast, flipping back and grabbing each of the throwing knives before they hit Tucker’s car, or, more importantly, Tucker and Junior. 

“Holy shit! My car!” Tucker bemoaned.

Curious, Wash glanced toward the vehicle. It literally looked no different than it had beforehand, but that didn’t mean anything. 

“Right, magnetism,” Wash finally said, looking back to Jensen. “Thank you for the display.”

Jensen, however, was not as excited and was sitting, hugging her knees and berating herself under her breath. 

“Guess that means I’m next!” the scantily clad one said, stepping out ahead of everyone.

Wash pressed his lips to a thin line. “Oh, good,” he said at least seventy-five percent sarcastic. Fortunately, it went right over the enthusiastic teenager’s head as he stretched and flexed and then grabbed onto the edges of his cape for dramatic effect as he swung his hips.

“Please turn invisible,” Wash said to himself, forcing himself to not look away.

"My name is Charles Palomo,” he announced with a swish of his hips.

“Oh gawd,” Tucker said, aghast.

“And my massively impressive, incredibly sexy power is...” He released his cape and waved his hands in front of him, skin shining and sparks igniting from his fingertips. “I... sparkle!”

Blinking a few times, Washington tried desperately to process the moment. Then he turned his head almost on its side. “You... sparkle?” he clarified. 

“I sparkle!” Palomo replied enthusiastically. 

“Oh my gawd,” the remaining teenager groaned. 

“Right. Okay,” Washington said, not even sure what to do with the information.

“Hey, I don’t know about being a superhero, but I can direct him to the nearest strip club. They’d love to give the fog machine a rest while maintaining their kitsch aesthetic,” Tucker laughed.

“You know, that’s not the most helpful input you could be giving me right now,” Washington told him.

“Who said I was here to be helpful? I relish in being a civilian compared to all you assholes in tights,” Tucker laughed. “I mean, you ever saw Church’s full getup?”

“No, and I can’t even imagine it,” Wash said with a wave of his hand. “Okay we only have one more -- what’s your name?”

The last stood his ground and gave a halfhearted shrug. “I’m Bitters. I do stuff with fire. I don’t feel the need to show off.”

Wash frowned. “This isn’t a show and tell, this is your first training session. It would help us all tremendously if we all knew what we were working with, Bitters.”

“Yeah, I don’t feel like it,” Bitters replied.

Wash pinched his nose and took a heralding breath. “It’s fine, it’s fine, we’ll work with this,” he muttered to himself before clapping his hands together. “Okay! Well, we have a good variety of meta powers here. And hopefully through training we’ll be able to learn how to work off of one another’s powers and strengths. It’s going to take a lot of training and evaluation.” He glanced toward Palomo again and then to the others. “And training. And more training. I cannot emphasize enough that we’re going to need a hell of a lot of training. But fortunately the variety here is--”

Without warning, there was a loud “HONK!” from behind Washington which caused him to turn on his heels to face the familiar sound.

“What the hell is that?” Bitters asked.

Tucker grabbed his hair in horror, words trying to escape his throat and failing to come out as more than strangled noise.

But Wash, Wash just found himself filled with a strange pride and genuinely being impressed. 

Junior stood underneath the family car, lifting it over his tiny head before he threw it a bit forward with a BLARGH and getting it off the curb after Jensen’s little explosion. 

“That,” Washington answered as Tucker raced over to Junior’s side and checked him out, “is your new teammate and my current trainee -- the Extraterrestrial Kid.”

Tucker shot Washington a dirty look but the rest of the superheroes all clapped and nodded happily in agreement with the choice of teammate. 

“We’ll work on codenames for all of you eventually,” Wash said, turning back toward the teenagers. “But until then, we work on your teamwork, your perserverance, and your general aptitude for the job ahead of you. I’m not going to be going easy on any of you, because the villains and monsters you’ll run into on a daily basis as superheroes have no interest in going easy on you. And my job is to make sure you all stay alive and well despite that.”

The teenagers immediately looked like they almost regretted the opportunity that had been offered to the.

Wash rubbed his neck. “Uh... then we’ll go to a nearby diner I really love and get milkshakes.”

“Yes!” “Alright!” “Fuck yeah!” “At least we’re getting something out of this.”

Breathing with relief at the show of approval, Wash then watched as Junior fought to get away from Tucker’s overly concerned nursing and protectiveness and took off to go stand by his new teammates, not at all deterred by either the quality of his costume, his height or lack thereof, or the fact that he, of course, was non-human. 

It accented for Wash what a ragtag group he had before him. 

This was going to be a challenge.

Jensen raised her hand patiently like she was in a lecture hall. 

“Um, Washington, Sir?” she asked timidly. “Not that we’re not super excited and that anyone would doubt a veteran of so many cool things like you... but why are we in the worst part of the city for this training instead of the training room the mayors have built for us?”

Tucker puffed out his bottom lip. “Worst part of town? Seriously?”

“You’re here because no matter what skills you were born with, or what rules you’re told on the first day, nothing is going to show you just where your powers and skill levels are at or give you a clue as to how to work together as a team like a real-life trial,” Washington explained. “Which is why I called in a favor from some friends.”

The kids looked perplexed just before an echo of polka music could be heard echoing around the street corner. 

Washington looked back down to his wrist and then to Tucker. “Right on time.”

“How’d you manage that?” Tucker asked. “That’s almost more impressive than the fact you kept a straight face through most of that bullcrap you were talking to these kids. The Reds haven’t been right on time for anything in their entire lives. Combined.”

Wash shrugged and gave a small smirk Tucker’s way. “I gave them the same time as the kids to be here and then just assumed it’d be about fifteen to twenty minutes later.”

“Smart,” Tucker replied, unable to stop the small smirk he had in response. 

Without any further ado, the Reds pulled up their jeep right beside Tucker’s car and revealed to be in full costume, looking curiously at the kids.

“Whoo!” Donut said, giving a thumbs up to Palomo. “Nice sparkles!”

“Thanks!” Palomo responded.

“What’d you want us here for, Wash? Is there some kinda freak costume parade in Blood Gulch no one warned us about?” Grif asked dully. 

“I want you guys here to... have some fun,” Wash explained cryptically before turning back to the teenagers and Junior. “Everyone, this is the Red Dead Blood Gulch Gang. They’re a group of vandals and anarchists that are on the mend.”

“Yeah, unwillingly,” Grif countered.

“They like to paint stoplights, steal gasoline from gas stations that are overcharging, and break windows of buildings to make a point,” Wash continued. 

“We do?” Simmons asked.

“Is that why we brought all these paint cans?” Donut asked.

“They also like to run over superheroes that try to stop them,” Wash said with a slight glare their way which was enough to silence the majority of the Reds and make Sarge chuckle deviously. “So I suppose you could call them armed and dangerous.”

Grif tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. “Dude, what the actual fuck. I thought you were rehabilitating us and all that shit?”

"Oh, I am,” Wash assured them. “And there’s nothing better to teach you a lesson about the downsides of rampant crime than to be hounded by a bunch of super powered teenagers.”

“You’re going to let them chase us around Blood Gulch!?” Simmons cried out.

“You are!?” the kids said excitedly.

“Yes,” Wash answered. “And I want you, Reds, to show these kids what the price of their inactions, failures, or mistakes in the field are by vandalizing any uninhabited property between here and the junkyard,” Wash explained. “All of which they have to clean up if they lose you, and you have to clean up if they catch you.”

The Reds stared at him before leaning in toward each other and loudly whispering between each other. Then they sat back up. 

“Challenge accepted, dirtbag!” Sarge announced. “By the way, hate your new costume. Blue and yellow is disgusting!” 

Without any further warning, Grif stomped down on the gas pedal and took off down the street to the whooping scream of an excited Donut.

“Wait!” Jensen cried out. “How’re we supposed to catch them?” she asked. 

Wash leaned back and shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s what you’re going to show me. I’d hurry if I were you, though. I can guarantee their first crimes are going to be ignoring stoplights and stop signs.”

The kids all looked at each other and then took off with a scream. 

Just as Wash had worried they would, they immediately split up without any game plan. “Well,” he sighed as Tucker walked up to his side. “This is going to take a long time.”

“The fact that you’re a bad coach might be at least partially to blame for that, Wash,” Tucker replied with a raised brow. “You’ve not given them any instruction! Any ideas!”

“I know,” Wash said. “Today isn’t about that. Today is about showing them everything they don’t know. Break them in. Make that over confidence they have from having super powers disappear.”

Tucker stared at him. “That’s fucked up.”

“That’s what my mentor did to me,” Wash said with a shrug. “She was the best influence I ever had.”

“Aw, now that just hurts my feelings, Wash,” Tex’s voice called from behind them. 

Surprised, both Wash and Tucker turned and were faced with Tex as she casually reappeared from her invisibility. 

"Tex!” Tucker said enthusiastically before they fist bumped each other. 

“Nice, Wash,” she said, eyes flicking up to him. “You got started without me, asshole.”

“You laughed at me on the phone, you said no,” Washington reminded her.

“I laughed, that wasn’t a no,” she shrugged. 

“Well, I’ll introduce you after this practice run ends,” Wash said, looking back toward the streets the teams had ran down, hearing some screeching and yells as well as a light show of sparks in the air. “It... might end quicker than expected. One way or the other.”

“Yeah, no thanks,” Tex said with a wave of her hand. “I don’t... do the kid thing. Or the responsibility thing, or the revealing I’m alive to most people thing. It’s for the best that way. Keeping to the shadows.”

Wash pointed at his chest. “That’s what I wanted to do--”

“But now the government knows everything about you. Congrats,” Tex reminded him. “Which is another reason I’m late,” she said, glancing toward the rooftops. “Tell me, Wash, how long have you been tailed by someone?”

Confused, Washington crossed his arms. “Tailed? I’ve not been tailed. I would have noticed--”

“You are tailed,” she said. “Guy was here even before I was, watching you all. Didn’t get a great look at him and he noticed me and took off before I could get closer and take them out. Somehow they noticed me with my invisibility.” 

“That’s... not great,” Tucker lamp shaded. 

“What did they want?” Wash demanded, more than a little worried. 

“I didn’t catch them, Wash,” she reminded him. “But they were very interested in your little pow wow here. And if I had to take a guess... they’re going to continue to be.”

She began to disappear again at the second sound of an explosion a few blocks over. “Watch out for yourselves, guys. I’m not always going to pop up and save your asses at the last minute.”

Washington watched her disappear before rolling his eyes nearly back into his skull. “Most unhelpful partner ever. Of all time.”

“Wash, this sounds pretty serious,” Tucker said worriedly.

“Almost as serious as your crankiness factor lately,” Wash said, glancing toward him. “You ready to talk about that while we--”

There was a huge crashing noise and Wash sighed. 

“Later, Superhero,” Tucker said, waving Wash off. “Go clean up your extremely bad idea. Let me worry about my family. Alone. Again.”

Wash raised a brow at him before doing as instructed. 

It was something they could talk about later, obviously.