#rei became a teacher in the academy after he came back

[sunoodilocks]

𝗔𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡 22

SYNOPSIS: tensions are high and rumors are widespread. The Decelis Academy, one of the most reputed academies across the world with the highest security ever has for the first time in its 200 years had a case of arson. Everything and everyone is under the strictest scrutiny. Who and Why? everyone wants to know but the management is keeping silent. On the background though, secrets are been shared in whispers. Now it's up to the DECELIS SECRET STUDENT COUNCIL to bring this case to light!

the students

¤ Y/N

The current vice president of the organising committee at Decelis Academy. She is pretty good in studies and is well liked by her teachers because of her ability to get work done upto the standard regardless of how less time she has (in truth she is just a chronic procrastinator). She initially decided to apply to the organising committee mainly because she didn't have any interest in joining the already existing clubs at Decelis - over the course of time though, she genuinely started to enjoy working there and was promoted as vice president after a little over two and a half years of joining. Overall a nice and responsible person; cares deeply about the few close friends she has.

☆ She had a brother who also attended Decelis Academy but had lost his life 4 years ago due to a freak accident.

¤ REI

The current president of the organising committee of Decelis Academy. She is a hardworker and is quite known for her work ethic. Initially had problems fitting in since she was Japanese, so took in upon herself to learn basic Korean to strike up simple conversations. She wasn't part of any club at the beginning so and helped out whenever any club needed a few extra hands to organise any event, big or small - the teacher's took notice of her responsible nature & her organising abilities, and recommended her to apply for the organising committee at Decelis - she did and was promoted to president after about two years of joining. This is also where she met yn, who soon became a close friend of hers after the many hours they spent working together in the committee.

☆ She recently had to leave the academy dorms to go back home - apparently had something urgent to attend to. Ever since she came back though, she has been a bit jumpy.

¤ SUNOO

The current student supervisor of the tour office in Decelis Academy. Very sociable and a literal ball of sunshine making even the most reserved person be at ease with him - maybe that's why he was suggested to apply to the tour office. Initially the tour office didn't have a student supervisor, but the principal choose to take a risk and appointed Sunoo to the post after a year of joining the office - it worked out better than expected. All the important visitors to the academy were now personally attended to by Sunoo, with the principal there only as his supervisor in name - the visitors always seemed to be impressed at his ability to make easy conversation at any topic even with basic knowledge without making it awkward - all in all, it helped maintain a good image about the student body at Decelis. Is also a close friend of Rei & Yn's.

☆ Due to his amiable nature and the frequent interactions with people in general, he has quite a few connections both within and outside Decelis.

¤ BEOMGYU

Popularly known as the flowerboy of Decelis, definitely not an official position but one that is quite influential in terms of popularity throughout the academy. He is a goofy guy who loves to tease and have fun with his friends - surprisingly enough though, he is actually quite a good student, obedient and responsible when it comes to his studies and his attitude towards his professors. Despite having the looks, height, a good voice and the popularity that came with it, he never looked down on anyone and although reserved around new people, had good relations with them regardless of them being a part of his friend group or not.

☆ The younger of the two sons of THE CHOI family has been known to be enamored with music since he was born, a "natural born" musician, as he was referred to. He has won quite a few awards and was a national phenomenon making his name in the international domain, to put it lightly - however that is as far as it went, he is said to not have to best relationship with his parents who, while they did set up the best coaches for him in music did not support it as his future career.

¤ LIA

The Queen B and batch representative of her batch at Decelis. The demands and wants of her batch go through her for review before being submitted to the student council for action. Her parents own an international clothing brand, making her rich on top of being smart and pretty - given these qualities, one would think her to be aloof and vain but would be pleasantly surprised to know that she has an overall laid back personality willing to share smiles with anyone who is willing to do the same.

☆ She will do anything to maintain her picture perfect reputation, not that she needs to do anything really - she is already perfect enough !

¤ KARINA

The current president of the dance club at Decelis Academy . She has been a dedicated member of the dance trope at the Decelis branch of educational institutes since a mere age of 6 (that is, upon joining the Decelis Elementary School for the first time). With the credits she has accumulated over the years with her participation in the various dance competitions representing Decilis, she hopes to go on and become a choreographer at Decilis and from there on, open her own studio after having acquired the experience and exposure Decilis provides. She was made the president of the dance club after a year of joining the Academy due to her experience and expertise in the field.

☆ Her family's financial conditions are not the best so her parents understandably wanted her to choose a more 'reliable' career path - were against her career for quite a while before coming to terms with it slowly, after she assured them of the temporary position provided to few students to become a part of the faculty - which usually does end in getting the permanent placement.

MASTERLIST ▪︎ NEXT

[aion-rsa]

Star Wars: 12 Snoke Facts You Might Not Know

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Set up in the first half of the Sequel Trilogy as a powerful new Star Wars villain, Supreme Leader Snoke of the First Order turned out to be something else entirely. Despite fulfilling the role of Emperor Palpatine in The Force Awakens, he’s completely off the table by the end of The Last Jedi. And in The Rise of Skywalker, the galaxy is only big enough for one galaxy-conquering villain as Kylo Ren’s fall shows.

By the end of the trilogy, Snoke is revealed to have been a bio-engineered villain all along, Force-puppeted tool Emperor Palpatine used to regain his grip on the galaxy while hiding his weakened physical form on the Sith planet of Exegol. His triumphs no longer truly his own, Snoke’s ultimate legacy is the rise of Kylo Ren as well as legendary motion capture actor Andy Serkis’ performance. 

As we look back at Snoke’s short tenure as the big bad of Star Wars, here are some facts you might not know about Supreme Leader Snoke: 

1. Snoke Was a Strand-Cast Created by Palpatine

Emperor Palpatine created Snoke to be his proxy through which he could regain his power. Although Snoke was bio-engineered in a lab on Exegol, he was a strand-cast, not a clone. This bit of Star Wars jargon means Snoke isn’t an exact copy of anyone, but isn’t natural-born either. We’ve heard the term “strand-cast” before. In The Mandalorian, Kuill speculates that Grogu might be a strand-cast — a speculation which turned out to be wrong when Ahsoka revealed Grogu grew up in the Jedi Temple. 

Palpatine’s ultimate plan was to use Snoke as his voice to whisper in Kylo Ren’s ear. It was one of several ways he was working behind the scenes all along to build the First Order — itself just a shell for the new Empire being built on Exegol. With his own clone body decrepit but his spirit still strong in the Force, Palpatine could possess other people but was looking for a permanent new vessel. 

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Snoke was likely born from these experiments but was too imperfect a vessel to house Palpatine’s spirit. There were other candidates, like the strand-cast who became Rey’s father. But since the process that created strand-casts could not reliably replicate Force-sensitivity, Palpatine’s “son” was not Force sensitive. It was another dead end. The Sith lord next turned his attention to Rey in The Rise of Skywalker.

This strand-cast/cloning storyline shares several plot points with the classic Dark Empire comic series, where Palpatine bided his time until he could come back in a younger, stronger clone body and re-create the Empire.

2. Snoke Wasn’t Aware of His Own History

Unlike Palpatine’s strand-cast “son,” Snoke didn’t know he was created in a lab by the Sith lord nor that he was being manipulated to rebuild the Emperor’s forces. In fact, despite being created some time after the Battle of Endor, he believed to have lived through the rise and fall of the Empire.

All of this is revealed in the novelization of The Force Awakens, in a twist that might actually have been a result of The Rise of Skywalker not having been written or planned out yet. But his status as a Sith sleeper agent fits with Palpatine’s plan, too. Snoke truly believing that he himself was really a dark Force user who had lived through the Galactic Civil War likely prevented Ben Solo/Kylo Ren from sensing the deception throughout his time as Snoke’s apprentice. Palpatine needed Snoke to believe the lies he told Kylo Ren so that he could more easily manipulate the fallen Skywalker.

3. Hugh Hefner and Snoke’s Injuries Informed How Serkis Played the Character 

Andy Serkis rose to fame as the motion capture performer behind Gollum’s creepy mannerisms in The Lord of the Rings, quickly becoming well-known for injecting unique life and personality into monstrous characters. For Supreme Leader Snoke, Serkis drew from “the gold-lamé Hugh Hefner look,” the shining robe evoking the Playboy magazine founder. Serkis says he and The Last Jedi director Rian Johnson also considered drawing inspiration from “so many different dictators,” but settled on the uncanny Hefner idea. 

Snoke’s visual appearance was still being finalized when Serkis joined J.J. Abrams to work on the character for The Force Awakens. Therefore, the actor developed his ideas about the character at the same time as the artists were developing theirs. In The Last Jedi, Snoke finally appeared in the flesh as opposed to as a hologram, allowing Serkis to draw even more from the villain’s grotesque physical appearance. 

Serkis says he imagined Snoke’s deep scars were the source of some of his anger. “He’s terribly powerful, of course. But he is also a very vulnerable and wounded character,” Serkis told EW (via io9). “He has suffered and he has suffered injury. The way that his malevolence comes out is in reaction to that. His hatred of the Resistance is fueled by what’s happened to him personally.”

4. His Look Was Based on Classic Horror Movies 

According to the book The Art of The Force Awakens, “J.J. [Abrams] and [creature effects supervisor] Neal [Scanlan] didn’t want him to be old and decrepit, like the Emperor,” said senior sculptor Ivan Manzella, who sculpted a maquette of an elderly, bald face for Snoke. Early ideas made the difference even clearer by making Snoke a female character. 

The final result did look a lot like Palpatine, though: a hunched old man with a face distorted by deep wrinkles and scars. Manzella, who also made the final sculpt, says that Abrams wanted his look to evoke Hammer Films horror movies (such as classic takes on Frankenstein and Dracula). In particular Peter Cushing, who played Victor Frankeinstein and Abraham Van Helsing in several Hammer movies, was a direct inspiration. 

Manzella also added what he felt was a sense of beauty to the character: “I imagined him to be a beautiful marble sculpture, so dark and menacing, but actually quite beautiful to look at … It’s almost like Snoke was quite handsome when he was younger.”

The Frankenstein comparison is especially apt since Palpatine and his Sith cultists built Snoke themselves.

5. Snoke Is Not a Sith Lord 

You may have noticed that Snoke does not have the “Darth” title like the Dark Lords of the Sith do. He was never given one because he isn’t technically a Sith Lord. But the fact that he’s a bio-engineered being created by Palpatine explains why his training of Kylo Ren followed the Sith mold so closely, since all along Palpatine was trying to manipulate Ren.

During the time of The Force Awakens, many fans theorized that the next film would reveal Snoke to be Darth Plagueis, the Sith master who taught Palpatine the ways of the dark side. Plagueis was interested in extending one’s lifespan through the use of the dark side, so an old man with mysterious origins could very well have been him. This theory didn’t pan out. 

6. Rian Johnson Felt Snoke’s Presence Distracted From Rey and Kylo Ren’s Stories

The fan theories didn’t line up with what The Last Jedi director Rian Johnson had in mind for moving the Sequel Trilogy cast into the future. In a conversation with EW (via Collider) Johnson explained his reasoning for knocking Snoke off the Sequel Trilogy’s chessboard.

“When I was working on the character of Kylo, I came to a place where I thought the most interesting thing would be to knock the shaky foundation out from under him at the beginning of this movie…By the end of this film, he’s gone from being a wannabe Vader to someone who is standing on his own feet as a complex villain taking the reins.”

But if Kylo took the reins, where would this leave Snoke?

“That made me realize the most interesting thing would be to eliminate that dynamic between the ‘emperor’ and pupil, so that all bets are off going into the next one. That also led to the possibility of this dramatic turn in the middle, which could also be a really powerful connection point between Kylo and Rey.”

Instead of focusing on Snoke’s history, Johnson found Kylo Ren’s ongoing story more relevant and felt killing Snoke was necessary to push his former apprentice’s arc forward.

7. Snoke Chose Ben Solo Because of His Skywalker Blood

Speaking of the Sith, Snoke may not be one, but he is interested in the lineage of one of the strongest Sith of all time. He chose to corrupt Ben Solo specifically because he was the grandson of Darth Vader. Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa were perhaps too ingrained in the light side and too dedicated to the cause of the New Republic for Snoke to manipulate them, but the mercurial and directionless Solo was the perfect target. Using Ben’s obsession with Darth Vader to turn him further to the dark side was a relatively easy task for Snoke.

In the comic series The Rise of Kylo Ren, we learned how Snoke began reaching out to Ben from an early age– and another comic, Age of Resistance: Supreme Leader Snoke, also fills in some of Snoke and Ben’s history. Before the events of The Force Awakens, Snoke spent a lot of time planting seeds of distrust between Ben and his uncle and teacher Luke Skywalker from afar, all while biding his time on a space station with an expansive garden, where Ben flees for guidance after the destruction of the Jedi academy. 

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Some time after this, Snoke took Kylo Ren to the Force cave on Dagobah from The Empire Strikes Back to experience a vision. There, Kylo kills an illusory Luke, but stops short of killing his parents. But Snoke encourages him to use his anger, fear, and other emotions associated with the dark side to complete his training.

The visual dictionary for The Rise of Skywalker shows how deep Palpatine’s plan went. It says Palpatine intended killing Snoke to be the mark of Kylo Ren’s full descent into the dark side and rise into Sith-hood. Snoke’s death was in a way a symbolic killing of a Sith master — it’s traditional for the apprentice to kill the Master — while Palpatine himself remained alive and well to take over as Kylo’s new master. A final, decisive victory over the Skywalker bloodline.

8. Snoke Trained At Least One Other Apprentice Before Kylo Ren

According to the The Force Awakens Visual Dictionary, Snoke canonically trained someone else before Ben. Little is known about this mystery apprentice. We don’t know the person’s name, when this took place, or how it connects to Palpatine’s overarching plans. The existence of this apprentice is implied by Snoke’s description of Kylo Ren as his most gifted apprentice, suggesting there must have been someone else to compare him to. 

In the Age of Resistance comic, Snoke also mentions that he plans to have more apprentices after Kylo Ren is gone. But Ren cuts that plan short in The Last Jedi.

9. Snoke Had At Least One Earlier Run-In With Luke

The facial scarring and collapsed cheek Serkis talked about might have been created by Luke Skywalker. In The Rise of Kylo Ren, Ben Solo alludes to “what Master Luke did to you.” But Snoke is more interested in Ben’s conflict with Luke. 

What happened between Snoke and Luke is still unknown. It’s possible that whatever confrontation led to Snoke’s scars was also the first time Ben met Snoke. 

10. Snoke Played a Key Role in the Empire’s Transformation into The First Order

Since Palpatine had to hide his weak clone body from everyone except his secret Sith acolytes, he placed Snoke in charge of the day-to-day growth of the First Order. Through his own lackeys, General Hux and Captain Phasma, Snoke spearheaded the new stormtrooper program that captured and indoctrinated children, building a military force powerful enough to go against the New Republic. And behind the veil of the Unknown Regions, an uncharted sector of the galaxy where the New Republic held no dominion, Snoke helped reorganize what was left of the Empire into the First Order, eventually becoming its Supreme Leader. 

Snoke’s Attendants, the purple-robed aliens seen briefly in The Last Jedi, are also part of this initiative. They are the ones who helped the Imperial remnant settle in the Unknown Regions, using their abilities to blaze hyperspace trails that made First Order conquest much more efficient.

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11. Snoke’s Flagship, The Supremacy, Is the Only Ship of Its Kind

Snoke’s flagship was ripped in half by “the Holdo maneuver” in The Last Jedi, a strong blow by the beleaguered Resistance. Along with being the site of Snoke’s throne room, the Supremacy also contained enough factories to produce entire fleets for the First Order.

In fact, it was the base of operations for the entire First Order, which did not have a capital planet but instead maintained their military superiority from space. Technically, the Supremacy was a Mega-class Star Destroyer and the only one of its kind ever made. 

12. Snoke’s Ring Contains a Relic From Darth Vader’s Castle

Snoke was a collector of Sith relics and secrets, traveling around the galaxy in search of knowledge, settling on his Force philosophy, and collecting things before he recruited Ben. It’s unclear how much of this Sith pilgrimage really happened versus the memories implanted by Palpatine, but it does appear that Snoke did actually discover the lost concept of a Force dyad, which he used to bring Rey and Kylo together.

He also discovered many dark side artifacts. One detail that’s easy to overlook in The Last Jedi is Snoke’s ring. The gaudy gold ring contains a hunk of black crystal. The Last Jedi Visual Dictionary defines this as obsidian from the catacombs beneath Darth Vader’s fortress on Mustafar. The ring also features “gold etched with glyph of the Dwartii.” In both canon and Legends, Dwartii is a planet which is home to several different schools of philosophers. 

The post Star Wars: 12 Snoke Facts You Might Not Know appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[destinygoldenstar]

Based on my fanfic season ‘Sketched Artistry Pretty Cure’

Rei Takeo is a highly talented loner. She values good will and effort with a passion, and does everything to show people these things, no matter what format she has to show them with. She is also highly talented with her athleticism, her intellect, and especially her singing and her writing, as she is highly known by the teachers as a fantastical novelist. But while she does have some well meaning moments, Rei comes across to others as unapproachable, given she is tough, hot headed, and incredibly strict about helping others. She can have a really sarcastic demeanor at points. When she sees something she doesn’t approve of, she’s quick to jump in the fight and call people out, even if she becomes a victim in the process. If it gets to a point where Rei becomes in the wrong and things don’t go her way, she becomes distant, and even stubborn. Rei really does care about people’s well being though, and she does her best to stand up for them. However, she can never seem to stand up for herself, and its because of this that she refuses to show her creative side to anyone, telling people that she’s not creative and that she can’t write, even if the opposite is the truth.

Her refusal to show people her artwork came from trauma in her past. Before Rei was this tough jock, she was an even sweeter girl, more energetic, and kinder, where she came across by many as weird, but beautiful, and back then she showcased her talents to everyone, especially through her writing. It was bad enough that her tough demeaner now made vocalists shun her out despite her good voice. But one day, her elementary class had to write a fantasy story for a school report, and when Rei wrote her story, it blew her entire class away, to a point where she was granted an award for her work by her entire school that she would receive in the spring... that would have changed Rei’s life forever, if it weren’t for the fact that when she revealed her talents, it caused people to become jealous and turn on her. Someone she thought was a friend did exactly that, manipulated Rei and got her suspended, ensuring that people Rei thought were friends looked down on her and called her a hack, that she didn’t deserve her admiration and that she was essentially worthless, that Rei’s writing was nothing but a crime that would destroy her in her life. All of that, where this ex-friend treated it as advice, that Rei should not show her creative side because stuff like this would happen again. And that scared Rei for life, where she only gained enemies by showing her creative side and she felt so ashamed of her reward that she threw it away and hid her book somewhere she could forget. Rei never trusted anyone again, and never let people know that she could write. She still did write, as it was what made her happy, but she never showed anyone them. She even cut her hair to ruin her gorgeous look, so that nobody could think she was worth anything, even if her kind will still lingers in her where she tries to help others be better at themselves.

Rei was taken to Sketching Crafts Academy against her will by her mother, because her mother recognized Rei’s writing talent and wanted her daughter to express it to people again. Rei was not thrilled with going to this school, and she kept her nose in a book and pushed people away. That is until she meets Keiko Sakura, a girl who was just as naïve with showcasing her art as Rei was, but when she first crashed into Keiko at the art museum, she pushed her away, but not before she granted Keiko advice on how to better her bird painting. 

About a week later at a park, Keiko ended up getting run over by jocks who scold her for her sketch she was making on the spot. Rei sees this and jumps in to defend Keiko, claiming that she was minding her own business and so should they, but when they don’t listen, she throws her book at them. Once they retreat, Keiko thanks Rei, but Rei only stubbornly tells her to be careful where she steps before she continues her walk to class. Keiko however, not only thought Rei was cool, but also followed her because Rei didn’t pick up her book after the encounter, so Keiko tried to give it back. Keiko does figure out that Rei is in her class, and becomes confused when Rei claims to their teacher that she couldn’t write, but ends up getting the highest score in the class on storyboarding, and Keiko realizes that she had never seen a fantasy book like the one Rei had in their libraries. Keiko does eventually find the chance to give Rei back her book, and she asks where Rei got it, but Rei states that it’s none of her business. Keiko however recognizes a yellow neon pen Rei was using to write in the book, and she realizes that Rei wrote that story herself. They do get to express their efforts to each other, with Rei presenting herself as an altruist and Keiko looking up to her as a talented writer and leagues ahead of her. Keiko even tries to encourage Rei to show off her book for their upcoming short story project, but Rei refuses and comments that Keiko doesn’t understand the success of art as much as she thinks she does. Keiko manages to tell Sora about Rei having a neon pen, but by the time their project gets explained, Keiko is partnered up with Rei on it. Sora does try to look after Keiko given that fact, but Rei and Keiko are eventually forced to work on it as just the two of them. The whole time, Rei offers Keiko’s ideas for a story, but its soon realized that Keiko is both creative and disorganized, where Rei tries to improve her ideas as a logical yet passionate writer, and Rei isn’t afraid to call out Keiko’s wild style. (Honestly, Keiko and Rei were the first OCs I made for this series, and they became huge foils to each other as a result, Keiko being an open yet overly naïve with a wild creative style, and Rei being more stubborn and practical with a passionate style in artwork.) They get their short story with some extra editing from Sora, and it becomes a good success... except for the fact that Rei completely denies having any credit for the project, where Keiko felt the opposite. Keiko finally decides to reread the storyboards they made together, as well as look into Rei’s novel to see her talent for herself, and it only makes Keiko want to figure out why Rei is so hard on herself when she clearly has a creative passion. Keiko finds Rei at the same park where she helped her, and Keiko tries to convince Rei that she should embrace her passions, and that Keiko saw for herself that she has it, but it only makes Rei throw the book away and tell Keiko that no one cares for her, or her passion, why would someone care now? Keiko claims that she cares, and that gets Rei to hesitate, asking Keiko if she actually liked what she read, to which Keiko claims that she loved it. 

A new monster is created awhile later, and Rei is knocked to a tree. Keiko and Sora transform into Cure Cherry and Cure Azure to fight it, but because the creature fights with fire, neither of their finishers manage to work on it. (I forgot to mention, Cure Cherry fights with paint, her finisher being ‘Cherry Splatter’ where she uses paint bombs. Cure Azure however fights with glitches and can use fabric as chains, her finisher being ‘Azurica Calculation’ where she glitches color onto the monsters) The general finds the short story Keiko and Rei made together, and he rips it apart in disgust, where this catches Rei’s eye as she wakes up, triggering her. Rei scolds the general for destroying a great fantasy, recalling her previous talk with Keiko that gets her to realize Keiko’s identity as Cure Cherry, and Rei actively jumps in front to protect her new friend, even throwing an extinguisher at the monster with equal hot headed energy. Rei expresses that she doesn’t know how to show people her art, but she loves writing fantasies, and those fantasies should be treated with the same love she put into them. This awakens her power as the third member, and the fire powered cure of the team as the golden writer, Cure GoldenAsh. (Cure Cherry nicknames her Cure G)

Rei still continues to be a foil to Keiko as a counter to the pink lead, as they both have different ways of approaching being Pretty Cure that they don’t always agree with. Keiko is a kind and active leader, but had insane ideas that don’t always pan out, plus she is naïve about criticism, especially when the pressure of public appreciation for artwork and the ego that plagues every artist comes into play later in the story. Rei meanwhile is very strict with how things run and isn’t afraid to call out her teammates for better or worse, and it sometimes blinds her into thinking she’s the only one who knows what to do, even when she doesn’t. However, the two despite being opposites, are able to call out each other and compliment each other at the same time, Rei helping Keiko deal with social pressure in being an artist, and Keiko encouraging Rei slowly but surely to return to her authorship.  

So I kind of created an art themed Pretty Cure. Add it to the list of Wattpad stories I claim I’m going to make, but never do. And if you know me, I love this concept of literal creativity, and since I’ve been on a magical girl run lately, why not make an art themed Pretty Cure. Seriously, I only briefly made this about a year ago, forgot about it, and bought it back in just two weeks with characters and their story arcs. So let me know if you want me to do something like this for the other Cures in this fanmade season, or if you actually want me to make one.

[xoruffitup]

TROS (Mis)Characterizations: What Was and What Could Have Been

What started as responding to an anon ask turned into an entire meta... but working out all these thoughts has at least eased a bit of my TROS pain. :’) 

From my perspective, TROS managed to destroy not only the characterizations built so far in the sequel trilogy, but also the entire story built upon these characters (mainly Reylo) as we knew them. While talking to a family member about the movie a few days ago and voicing my grievances with the story, he pointed out how someone could watch TFA and skip to TROS without realizing they’d missed much. That’s mostly true and entirely gutting.

Since I had an ask to talk about how TROS regressed in terms of characterization, I’ll start with the most hurtful of defacements: All of the nuanced vulnerability that made Kylo/Ben our most beloved character. We had absolutely nothing in TROS like the complex masterpiece moments of TLJ. Think back to “You are a monster.” / “Yes I am” – delivered with glowering menace as Kylo stalked closer, simultaneous to the tell of fragmented uncertainty in a quivering bottom lip and chin, all while his eyes remained completely riveted on Rey. Think back to “You’re not alone” – delivered with a wet sheen to his eyes in a soft cracked voice, but with self-loathing still smoldering behind his expression. Until the scene with Han, Kylo was shrunk into an entirely two-dimensional cookie cutter “villain” figure in TROS, seemingly more committed to the dark side and the First Order than he ever was to begin with in TFA. (I say “seemingly” because his true motives and interior dilemmas are frustratingly unclear in the entire first half of the movie. Cue me loathing the mask more than ever.)

Though Kylo seems uncharacteristically committed to the Supreme Leader role in TROS, considering he ended TLJ in a supplicating position fixing regretful eyes up towards Rey, luckily TROS did at least maintain the Force bond. …or at least the concept of it, because in execution the Force bond scenes achieved approximately nothing of what TLJ so uniquely excelled at: Creating a sense of intimacy, understanding, and forbidden tenderness between Rey and Ben. Instead of soft-spoken entreaties and promises across the soft glow of a fire or the dappling light of rain (ugh, remember the way light and shadow literally played out in contrasts across Kylo’s face during “I am a monster”? TLJ is a cinematic wonder, pass it on), we get scenes where the two yell and spit spite at each other. Most frustrating is how absolutely out of touch Kylo’s dialogue is with the Ben who was revealed through previous Force bond scenes. In a regression that makes absolutely no sense after Ben’s big proposal of “It’s time to let old things die: The Jedi, the Sith… I want you to join me” – he literally has the most reductive, bland, and meaningless lines such as “I will find you and turn you to the dark side.” ……..? Kylo has literally never been that boring or straightforward ever, not even since the TFA interrogation scene. He offered to be her teacher, sure, but never on terms that simplistic or blatantly combative to Rey’s will.

What I’ve always passionately loved and defended about Reylo is that Kylo never forced Rey to do anything harmful or against her will. Even pushing her to the painful moment of admitting the truth (or so we FUCKIN’ THOUGHT) about her parentage during the throne room scene did, in the end, help her character come to terms with repressed trauma and move forward in her journey of self-determination. (haha look at me, still stuck in my feminist goggles as if they haven’t been ripped off my head by TROS…) The point is: The TLJ Force bond was never a means of threat. It was never a tool for Kylo to say something as blatantly antagonistic as “I will find you and turn you to the dark side.” (Wow, did a Kindergartener write that? Come the fuck on, JJ.) And I was deeply disappointed to see the Force bond reduced to a tool used only to tell a part of the story unrelated to Reylo; rather than being the means of developing their relationship in and of itself.

This feeds into my overall biggest grievance with how Kylo/Ben was handled in this film. Similar to the Force bond – Ben’s character was reduced to a secondary prop piece who mostly served only as a narrative device in advancing the Rey-Palpatine plotline. Look, I imagined for months ahead of TROS the kind of candid Force bond conversations we might hear. Like “No one (knows me)” / “But I do.” (Where the FUCK did that line go?! Apparently JJ doesn’t know her…) Or perhaps Ben apologizing and opening up to Rey about how unhappy he is in the dark, how alone he feels. Instead…. we got shit like “You’re his granddaughter.” Like how dare they disrespect Academy Award Nominee Adam Driver’s talent like that?

Now, looking past the fact for a moment that the Rey-Palpatine addition is insulting, unoriginal, and sexist; there could have been a very interesting dynamic here. We would have the grandson of Vader and the granddaughter of Palpatine feeling very different pulls to both light and darkness, Force bonded together as they struggle with the weight of these legacies. Kylo, I imagine, was probably partially excited when he learned it, because maybe this means that Rey would understand him fully and perhaps this time, once she learned the truth, she would finally be with him. But nope, we don’t get nearly that much of a look into Kylo’s head. He does say at one point “You can’t go back to her (Leia), just like I can’t,” but the line missed the mark a bit for me because TROS still had Kylo appealing to Rey from the perspective of “Join the dark side as if we’ve done away with all that grey morality complexity we introduced last movie” – rather than from the perspective of “Neither of us should feel alone ever again.”

I’m rather unspeakably bitter that we had no exploration into what Palpatine’s return meant for Ben. I imagine he would have gone a bit wild upon learning that the man who was responsible for his grandfather’s fall was still alive. And the revelation of “I have been every voice you’ve ever heard inside your head”? This was enough to bring Ben Solo stans to tears before we even watched the movie, and yet it was treated completely off-handedly. Ben never even gets his own moment of coming to terms with Palpatine’s return. No “My grandfather killed you – how is this possible?” Nothing like that at all – even though he’s the character who would be most affected by his return in terms of legacy implications. Nope; Ben’s first encounter with Palpatine at the beginning of the movie – the same encounter where we learn Palpatine has apparently been behind all of the dark side grooming, manipulation, and isolation Ben has suffered since he was literally in the womb – quickly veers towards “Kill the girl / She is not who you think she is.” Early warning here that Ben Solo as a character in dire need of resolution is about to be treated with utter apathy by this film.

Here’s where I need to pause for a moment of self-awareness. While arguing with my Dad about this movie (he loved it), he threw at me that he thought I was being anti-feminist because I disliked the ending of Rey being alone. I quickly did my best to disabuse him of the idea that feminism = women being forever alone. This did make me think though about the implications of TROS veering away from the dual protagonist story framework that had been established up to this point; in favor of a narrative with Rey as the single and clear protagonist. The two main reasons I had such a knee-jerk reaction against this shift were A) It left a bad taste in my mouth after Rey ended TLJ emboldened by her acceptance of her past and unremarkable lineage; and B) It upended Reylo as the foundation of the entire story – also which we’d been led to expect. And I’m not just talking TLJ – I’m referencing back to JJ’s own Director’s commentary for TFA where he says “Now back to the story we really care about” when the film goes back to Rey and Kylo’s forest battle; who described Kylo as “a sort of prince,” and insinuated “you get the feeling there’s more going on here” when Kylo decided to spirit off Rey on Takodana. JJ set all the fucking clues here and then apparently forgot about each and every one.

However – am I perhaps not being fair to Rey in my disappointment that she doesn’t end the film in domestic bliss with Ben? Was I expecting something beneath her potential? Can I really say it’s a bad thing that the narrative rearranges itself in this film to focus chiefly on her? 

The reason it all sits so wrong with me is because Rey’s characterization became bastardized for the sake of her solo narrative. Her character was essentially entirely effaced. The emphasis of her journey thus far pointed towards the crafting of one’s own identify; to the fact that might and greatness can reside within anyone, and it is up to that person alone to decide what kind of life to live with such power. Rey’s development at the end of TLJ indicated she’d found freedom from her past, and was now fully embracing the act of forging her own path without any constraints or shadows. But then, this road she’d been paving for herself was abruptly switched in TROS to one already completed and well-traveled, lined with unoriginal identity struggles and a copout for assigning Rey’s instincts of aggression and passion to the hereditary and ungendered “dark side.” This sudden switch stripped away all of Rey’s unique identity struggles, as well as her agency to define her own story.

Confining Rey to such an unoriginal and unfortunate struggle also required that her own goals and desires be changed as well. When faced with a legacy of evildoers, Rey’s story immediately shifts away from being focused on her, and rather to remedying the mistakes of men who came before. Rey’s own story was about a thousand times more interesting when she was in the center of it. As a twitter post I saw a few days ago but now frustratingly can’t find said very aptly: Male viewers found “Rey Skywalker” satisfying because they see a happy ending as being the “best” or the most powerful. Female viewers see a happy ending as being truly seen, understood, and valued for the person one is. (If anyone knows the source, please let me know...)

Rey used to say she wanted to learn “her place in all this.” That doesn’t indicate a thirst for greatness or power; but rather for belonging and connection. She has spent most of her story so far thinking back to her parents, then spent a solid 2 minutes in TROS looking longingly and smiling at the alien babies on Pasaana, which hello motherhood signaling. She has been happiest in moments when she felt valued and connected to those around her.

The idea of having greatness bestowed upon her by some external entity (aka a man) was already examined and rejected in TLJ. (Read: throne room proposal scene.) But in TROS, this act of external determination is thrust onto her regardless of her will. In so doing, her possession of a legacy rewrites and predetermines all of her goals, battles, and the key facets of her identity. She no longer has the freedom to embrace and cherish her found or chosen family; instead, her goal is to rid herself of the “family” that’s been thrust upon her – making what’s now presumably her happy ending of being disconnected from her assigned family the complete opposite from everything her character previously yearned for. Standing alone in a desert with the company of only half-remembered spirits is likely what filled the nightmares of young Rey of Jakku.

This is, of course, why the dual protagonist/Reylo narrative we expected to see in this film was so compelling. While doing none of Rey’s decision-making for her or removing any agency from the formation of her own identity; her force-bonded relationship with Ben offered Rey belonging, understanding, and purpose. Ben was the only character who could understand how debilitating and frightening it was to feel her Force sensitivity come alive and waver between the light and dark; just as he was the only one who could comfort her in that conflict without infringing on her independence. Once we saw dark!Rey in that D23 footage, I think every Reylo imagined scenes where Palpatine begins to sink his control into Rey’s mind and Ben rushes to her side to pull her back towards the light, because he knows all too well what those voices are like inside his head and he’d rather hear them all again than watch Rey suffer it.

From several perspectives, Reylo fighting and defeating Palpatine together is also the only ending that makes sense from a holistic storytelling perspective. (I mean both of them wielding blue sabers against Palpatine and fighting together in tandem – rather than that single crowd-pleaser shot of them hefting their complementary lightsabers together before Ben gets brushed off into a pit…) While Ben is the legacy character, representing all that our beloved original characters fought and suffered for; Rey is the new-generation character, representing a new age and the banishing of old mistakes which continued to perpetuate conflict. Only these representatives of new and old; of royal legacy and self-made upstart; could truly banish all of the harm committed in the galaxy by Palpatine and remedy all the loss and suffering effected throughout the Skywalker line. To have only a single character recently revealed to be related to Palpatine facing him alone (no matter how “badass” that might make said female character seem by superficial standards), rather than a union with the single remaining descendant of the Skywalker line himself is simply unsatisfactory and directionless storytelling. It is Palpatine’s manipulation towards three generations of Skywalkers that was the sole catalyst for all of the warfare, struggle, and conflict we’ve witnessed throughout this entire 9-film series. To not even engage with Ben Solo-Skywalker’s troubled relationship to that heritage and to completely fail in realizing the emotional catharsis and resolution that stood there waiting is nothing short of infuriatingly shortsighted storytelling. J.J. claimed in several interviews that this film was crafted with the entire preceding story in mind, as a cap to everything that came before. I have absolutely no idea which story he was referring to.

And so, from the perspectives of this film alone, the sequel trilogy, and the entire 9-film saga as a whole – Yes, I do claim that it was a poor decision in terms of story telling and character integrity to reconfigure the narrative to focus solely on Rey. For the reasons just mentioned, it was an utter disservice to Rey’s character arc. To reduce all of the tragedy, charisma, and youthful potential in Kylo/Ben’s character to a secondary narrative device is nothing short of shameful. Not to mention wasting all of Adam’s potential for playing truly heart-wrenching scenes of Ben’s penitent soul-searching. I will never forgive the fact that Ben had literally not a word of dialogue after his quick conversion scene halfway through the movie. Not only does he play no major role in the final battle with Palpatine, but aside from charging in heroically and doing a phenomenal Solo Shrug, he isn’t allowed a single moment of interiority. He has no speech to Palpatine declaring his change of heart and his reclaimed heritage. Perhaps most painful of all – he and Rey never even have their Big Talk where we expected Ben to apologize for the doings of Kylo Ren and for both of them to affirm their desire to be together and their devotion to each other. Adam did a pretty amazing job demonstrating all that in how he cradled Rey’s body and couldn’t even bear to look into her lifeless face (RIP my heart). But no matter how phenomenal and tender the Reylo kiss was, how luminous Rey’s smile was when she said “Ben,” and how achingly loving his eyes were when he looked at her – I can’t help feeling crushingly cheated that their love itself wasn’t what enabled the victory. Rather than the strength they lent to each other through a union that defied light-dark dichotomy (as it should have been and as the story was previously leading towards), it was rather Rey’s miracle heritage that won the day. The fact that Ben never says a damn word when he stands before Palpatine, or when Rey kisses him and he finally realizes she does care for him too – makes both their bond and Ben’s entire character feel like a throw-away prop only there for Rey to wear so long as this feeble story needed it.

I’ve been trying to put my finger on what made TROS’ plot so underwhelming and lifeless compared to TLJ or even TFA. The difference between TLJ and TROS in the simplest terms is that TLJ’s narrative was character-driven, whereas TROS subjected its characters to a narrative. Rather than a huge space battle, TLJ’s biggest moments are Rey and Kylo’s throne room proposal and Kylo and Luke’s showdown on Crait. Both of these moments had huge emotional stakes for the characters involved, which was what made them epic. TROS’ narrative, meanwhile, uses twists like the Rey Palpatine reveal to manipulate its characters in inorganic directions, and builds towards a finale that is unrelated to any of the long-standing challenges our heroes have confronted throughout the story. TROS derided its characters down to mere tools for a superficial spectacle of a story. TLJ, on the other hand, made its characters the story. It’s no wonder I found myself strangely numb and disconnected the first time I saw TROS.

Now, I’m just angry and disappointed. Disappointed that such brilliant, wonderful characters were wasted. Angry that we’ve imagined a hundred endings more appropriate and fair to the characters we hold dear. I am trying to appreciate what I can from the film and hold on to the few beautiful moments, but I definitely plan on writing my own fic version of how TROS might have played out, had it upheld the complexity and integrity of its characters. Even still, I’m quite sure we all know and understand Ben Solo much better than J.J. or Chris Terrio, so in our hearts Ben will find the happy ending he deserves.

[tootiepatoot]

I have this little idea or scene to draw of a 'what if' after TROS but its get a little out of hand so here it is.

Ben didn't go straight for Rey but instead he help the resistance first. Poe almost shot him but then somehow tell him to help Finn with the canon thing. The main ship blew up yada yada he goes to safe Rey

Poopatine die, Rey die. Ben save, Rey alive, but his connection to the Force is fucked up. So his connection is gone with force.

Rey hug him, cause you know it's too fast for them. Ben hug her back because his last hug was probably when he was a child.

Rey asked him to go with her back to the resistance base, but he said no and said it's not his place. Rey goes back to the base, Ben goes to Luke hobo island.

The trio do the hug scene. They tell each other adventures. And finally Finn tell her about his force sensitive

Rey and Finn training to be a jedi. Making lightsaber, Rey dual yellow lightsaber, Finn blue lightsaber with blaster on his other hand.

Rey and Finn make the new jedi school. It's in some place with tress and mountain, kinda look like Luke island. There's skywalker family statue in somewhere, with anakin, padme, luke and leia.

Rose live there cause she got nowhere to go and Rey took her and became fast friends. Finn live with Poe somewhere near the academy, cause they want more privacy.

Ben somehow goes to the academy. Everyone not happy, but Rey tries to tell them about how he saves her. Everyone still not happy.

Ben re-learns everything about the force. How to use it, how to connect with it.

Finn likes to laugh and scoff at him when he fail at his training. But then it just not fun anymore and start to really teach him.

Turns out it sparing with Ben is fun. Finn and Ben always sparing after meditation time. Sometimes Ben teach Finn some tricks and move with blaster and lightsaber.

Sometimes Rey join their sparing session.

Ben always hear his mother's voice at night, calling him. He tries to answer her, but he always alone. He never saw her ghost.

Rey always saw the ghost. Asking for guidance.

Ben ask about this to her. Asking if her mother there, asking can she hear him at night. Rey says yes.

At night Ben asks for forgiveness, to his mother, to Luke, to everyone that can hear. No one answer.

The first time Ben join the group was after they officially open the academy. They have a small celebration, they ask him to joining with them. They talk, and Ben listen.

Poe ask him about the blaster tricks. Ben told him he learns it from Han. Poe ask what else he learns fron Han. Ben tells him about the ships. They bonded over it.

Chewie met Ben, at first he was afraid that Chewie going to kill him. The wookie gave Ben a tight hug. Ben cries.

In the statue of Padme, there's always fresh flower on it. It's tucks in her hair or she's holding it.

The new padawan came. Finn and Rey teach but not Ben. He said the kids might scared of him.

Sometimes Rey found Ben talking to his mother statue at night. Leia ghost sat next to him, holding his hand.

Rey tries to convince Ben to teach to do advance lightsaber, cause he actually a great teacher. After some small classes, he finally teach the class.

Rey and Rose not just bonded after mechanics stuff. Rose told her about holodramas, it became a nightly routine to watch before going to bed.

Rose still didn't trust Ben. But sometimes when she pass him in the corridor, she gave him just a simple nod.

Rey sometimes have nightmares about poopatine. She found Ben have the same nightmare, after finding him in the meditation hall, waiting for her.

They talk about it. They always meditate together after that.

As they grew closer, their force bond became stronger. Ben connection with the force finally healed

The first thing he do after he feels the force was calling his mother. She didn't come.

She later came at night, in one of Ben visit to the statue. He cries when he see her. They talk and talk until morning. Later Ben talks to the whole skywalker family

People try to bring Ben for trials. Saying he need to pay for everything. Everyone in the academy keep saying that Ben Solo is dead, Kylo Ren is dead, this is just my long lost cousin friends from Naboo.

Ben talks to the group about this, says that he didn't need help, he deserve to be lock in some asteroid jail. Finn says he is one of them and so he should stay. Later he said, his punishment now is teaching in the academy until he died.

Everyone in the group agrees to the idea

The skywalker lightsabers was hidden in a box under their statue

[princessmcpurpledork711]

Offered to live in America with his parents. He had no real attachment to living in Japan and he kinda missed living with his parents so he did. (He promised he'd keep in contact with Makoto) It was nice for a few months, until his parents got busy again. It became exactly the same as it was in Japan, only now he was truly alone in a foreign country that he barely spoke the language to.

Makoto felt really bad. His parents heard about this and also felt bad. Makotos parents really care about Haru, and Makotos dad decided to take an opportunity to transfer jobs to San Fran. The rest of the Tachibanas agreed. (He would've never considered this but Harus situation made him want to)

So now the both live there and are gonna start high school.

Rin was in Australia and hit that wall. He was frustrated and sad. Russell and Lori really wanted to help him. They decided to ask if he wanted to go somewhere else. He did not want to go back to Japan, but they decided that he should take the option of a swimming in a program in San Fran.

He was super frustrated and angry when he came to America. He was messed up and confused and angry with himself. He got influenced by some of his roommates (some generic thugs) and he did a big stupid. (Because season 1 Rin was a big stupid) He joined the organization. (He's a big stupid who was just confused and lost in a new country and with no loving stay home parents like Russell and Lori. I love the boy but man was season 1 Rin an emotional wreak)

Haru and Rin met in the first week of high school. It was messy. Rin yelled at Haru to swim against him and he said no way. Haru didn't want to swim anymore. That pissed Rin off. They ended up having this relationship were Rin would try to approach Haru and Haru would turn him down. They were both trying to avoid their feelings about the last time they met, and how they both are really sad and messed up right now. The only thing that kept them civil was Makoto, who wanted them to work things out, and Sousuke! (Who ended up in this swimming program too. He wanted to become a great swimmer but as soon as he saw how messed up Rin was, he ended up splitting his time between training and keeping Rin out of trouble in the organization. He even signed them both into the academy program at their school. So they also balance being in the academy and the organization. Its no wonder Rin was a mess in his freshman year)

Okay, let me finally get into Rinharu. (They had such a back story man I'm sorry XD)

Sophomore year starts and Nagisa is somehow in San Fran. He mets with Haru and Makoto in the middle of the year and asks if theyre doing swimming this year. (Theyre not) He spends so much time whining at them to join the swim team with him. All the pressure from Nagisa and Rin gets to him and he joins. The first time he gets back into the water is a race against Rin before the first swim meeting. (Rin may have been doing fucked up shit, but he hasn't been slacking in the swim program) They end up being so close that they don't know who won. The competitiveness came back, but they still couldn't identify it. Swim practice began with everyone being impressed with Haru (Rin and Sousuke being the other good swimmers that they were used to) But that urge to be better than each other set in, they started to swim against each other, a lot. The tension between them faded with every race, and the tension between them was slowly fading, though they still didn't talk about how they felt, they become friendlier, they feel more like how when they were kids.

But then, one night Haru and Makoto were walking home from the library (the reason they were there was because Rei was still learning how to swim because Nagisa still dragged this boy into the swim team) They never usually walk this way at this time and they were looking for a bus stop. They hear something in an alley and just kinda look up, but quickly go in to investigate because they thought they saw a familiar face. When the went in, they saw Rin and Sousuke bloodied and ruffing up some guy they didn't know. They didn't know what was happening but they did recognize the symbol on the jacket Rin was wearing.

Haru and Makoto were horrified. They couldn't believe what they were seeing. Never in a million years would they have thought that they had the capacity to do this. All of the good humor that built up left Haru and he angrily chewed them out, mostly Rin. He ran off, wanting nothing to do with him. Makoto chased after Haru but was also visibly upset and extremely disappointed.

Rin and Sousuke finally had a long talk with each other about why Rin was doing this, how he got to this point, and how they could ever face Haru and Makoto ever again. They also wondered how they could get out of this mess, but luckily for them, the Riku situation happened and they left with all the others. However this doesn't change much when it came to Haru and Makoto. The big relay qualifiers were coming up and they were forced to ride to Half Moon Bay together for the big race. Rin tried to talk to Haru the whole time but he didn't want to here it. They ended up fighting in the parking lot outside the competition center and Rin pinned Haru down so he could finally break down and apologize. He cried and finally told him about everything he went through. Haru was in shock the whole time. He finally reached up and let Rin cry into him. The big thing they realized is that they just wanted to swim with each other. It made them both happy. And after the all reunited inside, they pulled the relay swimming swap, and got disqualified but hugged and cried and finally the fixed their broken relationship.

Junior year rolls around and everyone is friends again. They can't wait for swim team and they all hang out all the time, and Rin and Sousuke are still in the academy so they also do that stuff too, but other than that theyre all a big happy fam! Haru and Rin are now, however, realizing their huge crushes on each other. I mean they always had crushes on each other, Rin especially when he was a child, but now that theyre friends and hanging out all the time, it feels so real. Rin starts trying to figure out how to tell Haru without screwing it up, because lets face it, he's screwed up a lot. Meanwhile, Haru has been facing all of his teachers telling him to try harder and the counselors asking him what he wants to do with his life and scouts asking for him and the SATs and his parents literally no longer coming home at all. He's become extremely anxious and a bit depressed. It wasn't clear to all his friends how bad this was all effecting him until he stopped swimming during a qualifier race with a ton of scouts. His friends tried so hard to help him out of his funk with no avail. Makoto had a talk with Rin and asked him to do anything to help Haru, and the next day, Rin came to Haru's apartment and took him to Australia. The trip goes like how the season 2 episode goes, but Russell and Lori definitely know that this is the boy Rin had a crush on all these years. Also the still have that one bed hotel room, and it was extremely awkward for them. That next day, when Rin took Haru to the pool, and Haru figured out his dream, they hugged. Rin was just so happy for him, and Haru let him, still in awe that things were so clear for him now. Then they both realized that they were hugging for a long time. And they both looked up, and they met eyes. Before they realized it, they kissed. They immediately felt something that they found undescribable, and went back to Russell and Lori. They told them that they were fated, and that they were so happy for them.

They went back to the hotel and reflected on that day. How they both felt now, and if they were both ready to go back as a couple. They started to realize how comforting each other was. They felt right. They felt, happy. They went to sleep together peacefully, for both of them the first time in a long time.

They came back happy. They discovered how nice it was to talk to each other, hold each other, and especially swim with each other. I think comfort is a key term for them, they feel a comfortableness they haven't felt since before all of this started. The water felt exactly how it did when they were kids. And everyone knew this was what was meant to happen. Rin made Haru smile. Haru made Rin soft. And they both felt the intensity when swimming, pushing them both to do better than ever.

EDIT: I know u didn't ask for specifically the ABO but its the one story we focus a lot of our Rinharu on so sorry for the ramble 🙏

[saiangelo999]

2020 T.V Show Tracker

T.V. Shows

The Witcher 

Started 2019 finished 2020. Click here for my thoughts.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Completed - I really enjoyed the episode with Pimento, that episode was just hilarious. I think that was one of my favourite episodes this season.

Self Made

It was very a enjoyable mini-series. Sarah's story is so fascinating and inspirational precisely because of how many hardships she had to deal with throughout her life. I enjoyed the show and learning more about Madam CJ Walker.

Interior Design Masters

This was a really fun show. I didn’t agree with everything that the judges said, but I definitely had fun watching the contestants renovate commercial and residential places. My favourite episode was when they worked on the stores (not restaurants). I really loved those transformations.

The Big Flower Fight

It was such a fun show! I really enjoyed watching how the contestants used plants to create beautiful and interesting topiaries/sculptures. I loved most of the contestants and was always looking forward to their take on each challenge!

Space Force

It was a fun show! Enjoyed watching it with my sister.  :)

Hannibal

Re-visiting this show from the one or two episodes I watched back when I was in grade 12 and one of my teachers was promoting this show because her friend was an extra in it. But, I really am intrigued by the concept, the way the show is filmed is just so gorgeous for such a gory show and the plot is very fascinating. Anytime Hannibal feeds anyone I get a bit antsy. But Will Graham is just such an interesting character. I have high expectations of the show!

Update: Finished s1 and LOVED it! As I was binging s2 I started to get nightmares and also the plot started to move forward at a snail’s pace (imo) so I will put this show on hold for now.

The Umbrella Academy s2

So I really enjoyed this season of Umbrella Academy because I got to see more of Five kicking ass as a teenager, the character growth of BOTH Diego and Luther, seeing the entire family getting closer to Vanya and the general action sequences of the show. I enjoyed the new characters as well - Lila and The Swedes. I admit my memory of season 1 of this show is somewhat vague, but I found that the ending of the season (its climax to be precise in episode 10) to be somewhat lackluster considering the build-up. 

I really enjoyed was seeing Klaus, Allison and Vanya deal with their respective subplots and that scene in the barbershop with the three of them bonding really was a highlight of the season. Also when (spoiler alert) Ben finally ‘died’ and went to the afterlife that scene was so well executed and emotional and has got to be one of my favorite moments of the season. It was nice to see him helping Vanya out.

The Haunting of Bly Manor

I loved this show! I grew to love these characters so much! I loved Hannah and Owen’s relationship so much.

The Haunting of Hill House

So, I read the book first and wanted to see what the hype was all about. I really enjoyed the little easter eggs to the book in the show, and that ONE SCENE with the ‘Bent-Neck lady’ gave me a nightmare... It was good, definitely an interesting take on the story.

Anime

The Disastrous Life of Saiki: Reawakened

I love how the show constantly shows us that Saiki will tolerate anyone for the sweet sweet coffee jelly. I need more of this show!! Please give me more episodes @Netflix.

Haikyuu!

I love it. I understand the hype now. I really enjoy how they show the lives of all the people in the show, the ‘extras’ on the team, the opponents and give us a glimpse into their lives and their stories. I finished season two and am looking forward to more! It’s honestly so hard to be rooting for just one person in this show and I love that.  Finished 2 seasons so far. Will get back into it eventually. I’m honestly jealous that I can’t play volleyball rn.

Mob Psycho 100

This will probably take me a while to finish as I am planning to read it before watching it. It’s so so lovable. I love Mob and I would do anything to protect him. Also I really like Regen’s protectiveness and genuineness towards Shigeo. It’s just a great manga/anime. Finished season one. It is so addicting! I love Mob and Reigen so much! <3

Update: finished season two. Man watching this show makes my heart grow 5 x as big every time I watch it! It’s just so endearing, fun, comedic. I love how season two really just show’s Shigeo’s growth throughout the season. His speech to Shirazawa at the last episode and how it came full circle - loved it! I also was surprised by the red headed son (Ryu?) in the best way. I hope we see more of him in the next season. Can’t wait for more!

Fruits Basket season 2

Can’t wait for more crying. 🙃 I am really looking forward to seeing Yuki’s character development and his relationship with Machi and Kakeru developing. Also looking forward to seeing Momiji growing and more moments between Kyo and Tohru.

Update: Love seeing Yuki’s arc in the anime format. Seeing him reach out to his brother, Hatsuharu and the student council peeps and grow is so rewarding to watch. Looking forward to more and more Kyorhu. One wish is that, I wish with this season we could see Momiiji change physically a bit more but I’m holding onto hope for that near the end of the season. 

March Comes in like a Lion/ 3-gatsu no Lion

It’s not my usual type of anime to watch as it is so slice-of-life, but in a weird way it really reminds me of My Roommate is a Cat except after I watch it I want to play chess or learn shogi. Of course, Rei has depression and a lot of issues he needs to work with, but the sisters are just so sweet and the moments that they show up to take care of him are so heartwarming. I love his self-proclaimed ‘best’ friend and rival - Nikaidou. I just really love how he’s drawn, his personality and when he shows up in the show it definitely perks me up. I really enjoy seeing him develop as a character and as a person. I am somewhat sympathetic to the plight of his foster sister but where I am in the show (finished s1) I absolutely loathe her. I really like seeing  how many people are around Rei and watching him tackle life and grow. Looking forward to watching s2!

The animation is very interesting. One thing that I am not sure if it is deliberate or not is how the characters’ facial expressions (mostly the way the mouth is in close-ups) are drawn to me seems very ambiguous to me - I can’t quite understand what emotion is being conveyed.

Update: Started s2 and man the bullying storyline with Hina is so sad.

Teasing Master Takagi-san

DNF. Just started it randomly. It’s very cute.

The Great Pretender

I started it cuz it was short and seemed like fun. It has darker undertones than I expected going into it. On the Singapore storyline.

Wotaku

This was very short and binge-able. I liked it, it’s fun for what it is.

Dramas

Never Twice

So idk if I’ll actually keep up with this as it is a guilty pleasure atm. I just started it because I liked some of the tropes that the show had (found family, sweet male lead, baby being doted on etc.). I am enjoying the gifs of the show. The plot is very... boring and I do recognize that for the most part the female characters don’t have much intrinsic motivation or identity outside male characters... 

05.2020 Update: DNF. 

Crash Landing on You

I am really enjoying it so far. I really like that both the female leads are just very powerful and interesting on their own. Really like how the found family trope is being used. The romance is cute (a bit much at times imo). I still can’t get over how Captain Ri heard her suicide tape and just went ‘oh we are fated to be together’. That was... an interesting interpretation of the tape...

Also the whole thing with her being in N. Korea is hilarious and really the drama asks the viewer to really suspend disbelief to enjoy the show but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Update: Completed. Enjoyed it overall. Wasn’t the best drama I’ve ever seen but REALLY loved the female leads in the show. Seo Dan and her family are just SO adorable. Can’t believe Gu Suengjoon was killed just as his relationship with Dan became so cute. One qualm is that this show does the whole near death thing WAY too many times with the main couple for my taste. 

365: Repeat the Year

Interesting premise and it has Nam Jihyun who I love. Looking forward to more and hoping it will keep my attention. I can’t believe that by episode 10 that the serial killer was revealed. I mean, I’m still invested in the show but that definitely caught me off-guard.

Finished it! I am really glad that they reduced the total amount of episodes because I felt that the ending was well done - not too rushed, not too out there (for the show). It was a very good ending for the show! I recommend it to anyone interested in a sci-fi/thriller. Overall, it was a fun time! Very engaging and would appeal to anyone interested in thrillers. I do have ONE gripe about the show which is a spoiler but it did not prevent me from enjoying the show. 

Love with Flaws/ People with Flaws

Finished! I started it cuz of a random compilation I saw on Youtube with the show and the gifs of it here and there and it’s decent overall. I would say that out of the many kdramas I’ve seen in this genre, it does stand slightly apart from the rest because of how each character is portrayed. I feel like there were no overt archetypes for the characters and I especially liked how they portrayed characters relationships. I liked how the siblings’ relationships were portrayed, and I really ended up loving the female lead’s eldest brother. He’s just so sweet and kind and I love how he does his best to take care of their entire family. It was definitely sad to see at points knowing that Cha In Ha committed suicide, but his character in the show was just so well done and important! Also his boyfriend is literally so pure I love him. As usual Seulgi just makes me go  😍😍.   

Nobody Knows 2020

It’s really good - very dark and bizarre. The shady foundation’s motivations are a mystery to me, but that hotel owner is a very interesting character. I will get back to it when I can handle more pain.

Update few months later: The twists and the turns though. Wow. I love all the children and how (so far) they are all portrayed as victims of circumstance. They are so sweet and I appreciate how Eun Ho, Dong Ryong and Min Sung’s relationships progress throughout the show. I’m also enjoying the character development of Sun Woo (the teacher/heir to the foundation). It’s also nice to see Cha Young-Jin begin to slowly open up. I’m enjoying the show a lot so far and am very intrigued by Baek Sang Ho’s group.

Final update: FINISHED it! Really loved this drama a lot. I love how all the characters are written so lovingly with so much depth to them. I liked the way the plot unraveled, I liked how all the relationships developed in the story, I loved the way forgiveness and morality were discussed. It was a really good drama and I am missing it already!

Chicago Typewriter

A re-watch. Man I love this drama. The three leads and their relationship is just adorable. 

I hope that in Shin Yul’s world/afterlife or whatever they can be happy together. <3 

Oh My Baby

I started this out because I was extremely bored and saw a few gifs of the show. It seems promising. Don’t have super high expectations of the show tbh. I do like the main couple though! They are adorable, nervously awaiting how it will conclude.

Update: Skipped a couple of episodes (4?) and went to the end. It ended up alright, very open ending and somewhat realistic. I’m glad the main characters were able to put their relationship above their disappointment in being infertile.

Strangers from Hell/ Hell is Other People

I really enjoyed it!! - If I were to recommend it to anyone I would recommend they go into it as blind as possible to enjoy it to the fullest.

So... I had no clue that this show was ONLY 10 episodes long, so imagine my surprise as the events that have been put to play begin to climax, I checked and was surprised that it wasn’t a 16 episode drama. Anyways, this drama had superb writing, directing, acting and fight scene choreography. Everything came together to really make this show have such a dark, creepy atmosphere that intensified as the episodes went on. I loved how the show portrayed how Yoon Joon Yoo/O’s mentality was tested to the breaking point. Tbh I thought he was slow in the beginning of the show (episode 1-2), but turned out that he did far better than his counterparts. I think that one thing that was a shame was they didn’t really show the strength of his relationship w his girlfriend too much before, and had they had more screen time as a couple I would have been even more invested in the story. 

Mystic Pop-up Bar

Loved it! This was a really enjoyable show. The pacing was good, the story was interesting and I liked watching the characters relationships develop. It was heartwarming and a fun watch! I enjoyed the focus on various people’s stories showcasing all sorts of relationships. 

It’s Okay Not to be Okay/ Psycho But It’s Okay

Put it on hold for now - watched up until episode 10-12ish.

Flower of Evil

The best kdrama of 2020 so far? Possibly.  Love how it mixes being a thriller with the marital relationship aspect. One potential con is that it seems that the mystery aspect of the show for now seems fairly obvious but how the situations will be handled keeps me on the edge of my seat!! Also I totally did not expect such a strong marriage to be shown in a thriller drama! Also the way that Cha Ji Won is written is just chef’s kiss. I love how complex she is, how intelligent, kind, caring and so so good at putting things together. I love Hyun So’s family and I hope it ends with them staying together.

Update: Finished it! Not sure how I feel about the very last episode... but I can say I’m glad that Do Hae Su got some crumbs in terms of character development by the end. So glad she didn’t end up with Moo Jin and started a new life abroad. The amnesia plot was unnecessary imo, I would have rather seen more cute scenes of them together than angst in the last episode. But, it was interesting to see how the trial was revealed, and the Baek’s got way better than they deserved which is unfortunately realistic.

Lie after Lie

Plot sounded way more interesting in the synopsis vs the execution. Mediocre plot which I thought was easy to see through.

Eighteen Again

sort of dnf? I made it to epi 14 or so and just finished it in my head and through gifs. It had so much potential which I think it squandered... but there were some genuinely heart warming scenes from the show which I really enjoyed. (Siwoo and his dad bonding, all the scenes showing the mc as the nicest dude).

I don’t want to be friends with you

I really enjoyed the show. I liked how it portrayed the mother-daughter relationship, the differences in how they were raised and how Li Jing Bu was able to get the love she so craved through her dream?/journey. I liked how the romance was handled, how she gained such meaningful relationships during the show and how important it was to her that her mom was happy.

The Good Detective (2020)

I really enjoyed this show! It was really cool to see a show that critiques the corrupt systems they have in place and the unexpected consequences that it can have on people. I liked how it touched on themes of guilt, remorse, forgiveness and resilience. Also, it was interesting to see a guy who has all the money in the world choose to be a workaholic detective.

Part 2

[myaekingheart]

36. Team 7

read the scarecrow and the bell on ao3

index | from the beginning | < previous | next >

               Kakashi’s second team of students was just as massive a failure as the first. Three brothers dependent on each other, they understood teamwork but were too hellbent on following the rules. The Copy Ninja retreated to his girlfriend’s apartment yet again, defeated.

               Still so cold and unforgiving, the hokage thought to himself as he reviewed the latest reports. It seemed that this, too, was failing to give Kakashi a sense of purpose. If this was to have any chance of working, he would need to take drastic measures. He would need to assign Kakashi the team from hell. He looked over the list of recent academy graduates and an idea suddenly overtook him. It was ridiculous, but it might just work.

               “You wanted to see me, sir?” Kakashi asked, poking his head into the hokage’s office. Lord Third huffed his pipe and stood from his desk, motioning for the young ninja to follow him.

               “I have another new assignment for you, Kakashi” he explained. “Come, walk with me.” Kakashi followed dutifully behind as the hokage strolled through Konoha, a look of great purpose on his face. They walked in silence for a long while, Kakashi staring ahead lost in thought. What was this all about? Had he failed once again? He braced himself for the bad news. I’m sorry, but you’re just not cut out for this. You’re too heartless for the ANBU, and you’re too heartless to be a jonin leader. You might as well just quit being a ninja altogether. The more he thought about it, however, the more enticing the idea slowly became. Maybe leaving the shinobi lifestyle would be a good thing. He could buy a house on the outskirts of town, maybe take up gardening. He would have all the time in the world to read his books. The simple life. He would never have to fear death ever again. Hell, perhaps he could even bring Rei with him. She could still continue working, and then when she would come home, he would have a fine dinner prepared and they could sit back and watch the stars with a bottle of sake and no cares in the world. It could work. It was plausible. Losing his job wouldn’t be the end of the world. And then the hokage’s voice finally broke through the silence. Kakashi prepared for his fate. “Regarding the next group of genin that you’ll be in charge of…”

               Kakashi opened his mouth to speak, but the words hadn’t quite registered yet. Wait, what? Next group of genin? This didn’t make much sense. Here he was, having actually accepted leaving his job, only to be presented with the exact opposite. He blinked, swallowed. “Me? Again?”

               The hokage chuckled. “Aren’t you excited to set out with your own apprentices?” Kakashi didn’t answer. After so many failed attempts, and so much hesitation about his capabilities in this field, yet another group of kids seemed like so much work. Did he really want to put in the effort, when deep down he already knew that they, too, would surely fail? As if he had read the young man’s mind, the hokage then added, “I’m sure this new batch of genin will hold your interest.”

               Kakashi followed the hokage’s gaze then to a shabby apartment complex in the center of town. Each story was wrapped in uneven green fencing, and piping snaked along the roofs. Jutting from the top floor was a small balcony. As Kakashi stared upon this place, wondering what kind of person would live in a hole like this, the hokage said, “This is Naruto Uzumaki’s house.”

               “Lord Fourth’s orphan…” Kakashi replied, a sense of recognition striking him. He thought back to his youth, that afternoon when Minato sensei called him into his office. Announced that Kushina was pregnant and requested Kakashi watch over her up until the birth. He had seen Naruto often throughout the years, though only ever in passing. He certainly had a way of making himself known, often in the most frustrating manner.

               The hokage tipped his hat to keep the sun out of his eyes, asked, “Are you a little interested now?” Despite the invasion of privacy, they traversed the stairs to the top floor and stepped inside the empty apartment. Half eaten bags of chips and empty ramen containers littered the kitchen table, the bed, the floor. Kakashi lifted an opened milk carton, sniffed the contents. This milk is way past its expiration date. He looked around the rest of the apartment, dumbfounded. If he hadn’t watched Kushina’s belly grow for nine months, per Minato sensei’s instruction, he never would have guessed this was his son. Naruto seemed to lack any trace of his father’s organizational skill.

               As he set the milk back down, the hokage continued, “That Uchiha boy, Sasuke, is also on your squad.” Kakashi thought back to his days in the ANBU, to when little Itachi Uchiha joined his team. He wondered if Sasuke shared his brother’s work ethic and critical eye. Or perhaps losing his entire family at Itachi’s hand had turned the younger Uchiha into the exact opposite. Either way, Sasuke was at the top of his class and that alone was admirable.

               After a painful and far too lengthy encounter with the parents of his third student, Sakura Haruno, they stepped foot into Sasuke’s apartment. As they entered, the hokage explained things Kakashi already knew about the Uchiha, the young man’s mind flashing back to the aftermath of their clan’s slaughter. To think, someplace he had gone so frequently as a child was now boarded up and abandoned. Perhaps the Uchiha were just magnets for tragedy. It was clear in the way Sasuke kept his apartment that he had inherited his father and his brother’s self-discipline, but it was unclear what else he had carried on.

               These three children…he hadn’t even met them himself yet, and he could already see just how painfully different they all were. Their potential for teamwork was likely slim. This would no doubt be the same as every other year. He took a seat beside Lord Third near the playground, cans of soda in hand, and wondered what the point of it all was. ��Why did you put me in charge of those three?”

               A sly smile toyed on the hokage’s lips. “Well there’s a hopeless fool, a skilled protégé, and a clever kunoichi…I’d say it’s much like Minato’s old team.”

               Kakashi’s eyes widened, taken aback a moment. His childhood comrades flashed in his mind, and he hated that he saw the similarities. If anything, though, that just made him all the more hesitant. They say history repeats itself, but he didn’t think he could stand to watch everything unfold tragically once again. “So you chose me on purpose…?”

               The hokage sipped his drink and bowed his head. “It is all about the right man for the right job. I must carefully consider every assignment, each shinobi and their individual talents. Sasuke graduated top of his class, and Naruto? At the bottom. It may seem like an unlikely group, and maybe they will not succeed, but I have seen some miraculous things lately. The children that have come out of the academy, certainly not all of them are destined to be great shinobi, but some of them are very talented. Guy’s team, that was formed last year, has really come into their own, as has Kurenai’s specializing in sensory abiltiies and Asuma’s with their secret ninjutsu. I have faith in you that you can do the same. You are the only one who can lead this team. There is no one else who can advise Sasuke with his sharingan.”

               Kakashi nodded slowly, then asked, “What about the others? Naruto, and Sakura?”

               “You already know all about Naruto” the hokage said flippantly. “As for Sakura, right now she is only average but I believe she has the potential to someday become a great kunoichi. Together, I believe the three of them will be very capable. The dynamics of this group will bode well for their progress, even if only on the basis of sex. Men notice women, and rivalry matures both.”

               This was really too much. The hokage had outdone himself this time. “So you’ve even considered how the squad will develop?”

               The old man nodded. “That’s right.”

               Kakashi sucked in a deep breath then, and replied, “I understand your logic behind this, Lord Third, but…I failed twice with squads that you organized.” And don’t think I have the motivation to go through all of this again, he thought to himself. He thought it disrespectful to seem so ungrateful for work, though, and therefore kept his mouth shut.

               “This is true” the hokage said, then took another sip of his drink and asked, “But did you fail them because of personal feelings, or because you did not feel that they were ready?” Kakashi sighed and locked his eyes on the ground ahead, rubbing his thumb against the near-empty soda can. “You have sound judgment, Kakashi. You have seen much, and know the worst of what can happen in the shinobi world. I have faith that you will teach these children well. Ultimately, this will prove to be a valuable lesson for them.” And for you, the old man thought to himself. Of all the attempts he had made at softening Kakashi’s dark heart, he hoped that this would be the one that finally stuck.

               As the day came to a close, Kakashi trudged back to his apartment with many a thought in his head. He was still so unsure about this, about whether this was the right thing to do. With how frequently the hokage compared this new team to Minato sensei’s, a new fear began to dawn upon Kakashi, as well. How would he ever live up to his former teacher? How could he ensure that these kids would never have to face the same tragedies that his own team had? He knew he was ultimately to blame. Rin, Obito, and himself—their teamwork was weak. And now all but one were dead because of it. He refused to let the same happen here.

               Come sunrise, he had awoken and already started out to the cemetery. He was due to meet his new squad but first he had some important business to take care of. As he stood before Obito’s grave, he thought about his past and his childhood team, everything they had been through and all the tragedy they had faced. “I don’t know if I’m going to be any good at this, Obito” he laughed sadly. “What if they turn out just like we did? What if I screw them up? And Minato sensei…” his voice trailed off. He knew Obito likely couldn’t hear him in the beyond, wherever his spirit went after he had died, but just pretending like he could hear was comforting enough.

               Kakashi wondered if he could procrastinate long enough to avoid this altogether, but he knew that was impossible. A strong gust of wind struck him from the left, flurrying leaves along with it, and he knew then that it was time to go. He bid one last goodbye to Obito, and to Rin as well, and then made his way to the academy.

               Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were the only kids left by the time Kakashi arrived. He could hear them arguing from down the hallway, and almost turned right back around and walked out. Almost.

               He sucked in a deep breath, preparing himself for the chaos that was about to ensue, then slid the door open and stepped inside. Thunk! He froze as an eraser fell atop his head then tumbled to the floor. His new students stared at him in awe, shock, and in terms of Sasuke, disappointment.

               “He fell for it!” Naruto laughed, pointing in amusement. Could this have been an act of teamwork? If so, then he would let it slide and perhaps there was hope for them yet. It was when Sakura burst out apologizing, claiming that try as she might, she couldn’t stop Naruto, that Kakashi’s hope was quickly dashed. He leaned down and considered the eraser for a moment, as well as his own thoughts.

               “Hmmm...how can I put this?” he started thoughtfully, “My first impression of this group: you’re a bunch of idiots.” And on their faces was nothing but defeat.

               He let them go early that day after a brutal attempt at introductions. His initial opinions had yet to shift. Naruto was an absolute idiot, all Sakura cared about was Sasuke, and all Sasuke seemed to care about was brooding behind his tented fingers. He wondered how they would fare with the bell test, but that was for another day. Right now, all he wanted was to relax. He stepped foot in the ANBU living quarter’s lobby, ascended the stairs, and knocked on Rei’s door.

               “So how did things go? Another batch of failures?” she asked as he stepped inside. Kakashi sighed and fell backward onto the bed. “That bad, huh?” Rei asked.

               “I don’t know if I can take this anymore” Kakashi sighed. The rest of the afternoon, he sat confiding in Rei about all of his thoughts and feelings on this new team of his. Unlike in past attempts, there was so much more pressure on him this time around. Naruto was the nine tails jinchuriki: one false move and the entire village could be destroyed once again. He knew he was the only person who could ever train Sasuke thanks to Obito’s sharingan, but that still didn’t erase his concerns. And Sakura would likely only get in the way. She was talentless.

               “Do you think the hokage made a mistake?” Rei asked.

               Kakashi shook his head. “I’m not sure” he replied. “If anything, I think I’m the one who made the mistake. I never should’ve accepted to become a jonin leader in the first place.”

               “You’re so damn hard on yourself” she sighed. Laying back on the bed with him, she stared up at the ceiling and laced her fingers in his. “Listen” she started, “I know you’re tired, and that you don’t think you’re particularly cut out for this. I’d feel the same way if I were you. But I think now is the time to put aside your personal feelings and suck it up.”

               Kakashi turned to face her, a sense of surprise crossing his face. He hadn’t expected her to be so harsh. “Oh?”

               She nodded definitively, propping herself up on her elbows. “You’re the only person who can do this job, Kakashi. Even if you fail, your effort will be ten times better than anyone else’s because there is no one else in Konoha equipped to handle a team like this. You have to do this whether you want to or not.”

               The copy ninja blinked, considering her words. He knew she had the best intentions but if anything, this just added to the weight of the whole thing. He couldn’t afford to fail. Not this time. There was far too much at stake. “Well” he sighed, “I guess it all depends on how they handle the bell test.” A part of him hoped they’d crash and burn. At least that way, he could sneak his way out of this. Fail them so hard, he could disqualify them from the program altogether. Erase any and all hopes of ever becoming ninja. It was foolproof in theory, but in practice he knew it was a dumb move. Ignorance is the source of all evil, as they say, and the last thing he needed was another Nine Tails attack or Uchiha murderer solely because he didn’t want to teach them basic skills. At least Sakura would be useless either way.

               The following morning, Kakashi met with his team of hopefuls in the field by the memorial. He explained the task in the most basic terms—“If you’re not prepared to kill me, you won’t be able to take the bells.” Of course, Naruto charged full speed ahead with kunai in hand, revved up for the fight. Kakashi halted him almost immediately. “I haven’t said start yet” he said, smirking a bit underneath that mask. However, he saw a fire in this kid’s eyes that touched him. He didn’t want to get ahead of himself, but perhaps these kids were at least vaguely likeable after all. He surveyed the three of them, crouched in anticipation, and for a moment he saw his own youth reflected in them: Naruto’s goofy confidence like Obito’s, Sakura emitting the same compassion as Rin, and Sasuke’s prodigal determination mimicking his own. “And…start!” And they were off.

               The whole morning was a game of cat and mouse showcasing some of the lowest skills Kakashi had ever seen. All Sakura seemed to care about was Sasuke, so much so that she hardly helped at all. Naruto’s teamwork was strong, but only with his own shadow clones. He apparently felt obligated to take everything on by himself. And Sasuke expressed a level of darkness perhaps equal to that of the ANBU, a dark, brooding determination but like the others, his teamwork was weak. Not unexpected of a prodigy, he couldn’t be bothered to give a damn about the others who were so beneath him in skill. By noon, Kakashi’s faith was wavering.

               “When individuals put themselves above the squad, this can lead to failure. And death” Kakashi pressed. If they weren’t understanding it themselves, he was damn well going to make them understand it. He turned and motioned to the memorial stone behind him, explaining that there upon it were written the names of ninja who were all killed in action, many of which were his closest friends. He thought of Obito and Rin, of all the other shinobi who had died in the war. This career was not one to take lightly. So many had been lost. “Eat lunch to build up your strength, but Naruto doesn’t get any.”

               By sunset, Rei had finally finished rearranging her bookshelf. She was just putting the finishing touches on her organizational system when a familiar face poked his head in the door. “I thought you didn’t like an open door policy” Kakashi commented.

               “I don’t” Rei replied, “But it was getting too damn stuffy in here, I needed some air flow.” She adjusted one of the titles on the upper shelf, standing on tiptoes, as Kakashi approached.

               “I see you’ve been working hard” he said, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. Rei turned and nodded, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She had done a good job, her collection meticulously organized into a rainbow of descending size and alphabet. “I’m sure Kaminoki is in ruins without you.”

               Rei swatted at the air dismissively as she took a seat beside her boyfriend. “They’ll live” she replied. She doubted they would want her back anyway, especially after the disaster that was her mother’s birthday. “How did things go today? Did they fail miserably?”

               Kakashi averted his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck. “Actually…they all passed.”

               “I’m sorry, they what?” Rei asked, mouth gaping. To think, Kakashi Hatake finally passed his first batch of genin. This was unheard of. “Alright, who are you and what you have done with Kakashi?” she added, a slight laugh to her voice.

               The copy ninja shook his head and looked at her with a strange, poignant expression. “Actually, they may not be that bad” he replied. “They’ll need a lot of work, but they did something today that I’ve never seen any of the others do before. They defied me for the sake of the team. And that is why they passed.”

               The redhead scoffed impressively and leaned back on her elbows. “I guess kids today aren’t quite as stupid as I thought they were” she said. “So I guess I should start calling you Kakashi sensei, huh?” She nudged him in the upper arm with a laugh, but Kakashi simply shook his head and tried to restrain himself from showing amusement at her joke.

               “I really never thought this would happen” he said, “But I guess I can’t back out this time. These kids are officially my responsibility.” It was then that the copy ninja laid back on Rei’s bed, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes and sighing. “What have I gotten myself into this time?”

               Rei laid back beside him, crossing one bent leg over the other. “I’m sure you’ll do fine. I trust that you’ll do right by them, and guide them in the right direction. Have a little faith in yourself, Kakashi.”

               He wanted to believe her words, he truly did, but after so many years it was hard to think of himself as a teacher. The bell test was easy: just keep them as far away as possible, drill into them what he knows they won’t retain, then send them back to the academy. It was simple, straightforward, a loophole out of committing. Now, however, he had no choice. The weight of these kids’ futures rested on his shoulders. What could he possibly teach them going forward? How to kill off everyone you love and live with the guilt for the rest of your life? He refused to let them face that same kind of pain. He refused to guide them down a dark path of death and destruction.

               Rei could see the coldness return in his eyes, narrowing in deep contemplation. She could tell he was going to the bad place again. She gently reached her hand out to lace her fingers in his, a soft smile touching her lips. “You’ll be fine. I promise.”

               He looked at her then and just the mere sight of her was enough to bring him back to center. He loved that about her. He pressed his forehead against hers, brushed her hair away from her face. In a hushed tone, he replied, “Thank you.” She laughed softly, kissed his cheek through his mask, and gently squeezed his hand. After a beat of silence, however, a question then fell from his lips that he never thought he’d hear, or at least he hoped he wouldn’t.

               “So, when do I get to meet them?”

[starlightlotus]

Padme Solo/Xayah Ren’s Relationships

A/N: So this is something I decided to do on my own just for a reference probably (and to drive out this unpleasant feeling I had all afternoon too). But all these relationships are family, platonic, and romantic relationships Padme has with the other canon characters. THIS IS GOING TO BE ONE HELL OF A LONG POST TOO.

Platonic

Captain Phasma

Both Captains have a good relationship as they spar with each other with spears. Every so often, Phasma would teach Xayah how to use a blaster. At first Xayah hesitated until she thought of it being an alternative way to fight if there was ever a case where she lost her spear out of combat. Both of them would share a few things as they are both held as respective captains in the First Order. 

Armitage Hux

Although Hux strongly dislikes force users, and Xayah dislikes how impatient that man can be, there is a mutual respect between Hux and Xayah. The two do not get along in most cases, but Xayah can see his point of views sometimes in warfare and has a lot more patience with the general compared to Kylo Ren. Hux takes a liking to Xayah more than Kylo, but Xayah makes sure to keep her distance from the General as she would often remind him not to get too comfortable with the captain. 

Supreme Leader Snoke

Xayah learned ways of the Dark Force through Snoke and she secretly feared this man. Through years of discipline, Xayah learned to conceal the feeling of fear and love away from the Supreme Leader. Snoke would be more lenient as his main focus would be on Kylo Ren and Hux. But he would tell Xayah that she still has a long way to go for her potential isn’t fully shown to his liking. Even having to watch Kylo try to retaliate against the Supreme Leader, Xayah did not want to dare challenge Snoke. However, upon letting her feelings slip, Snoke had sensed Xayah’s heart and tortured her for this heinious act, making Xayah earn a scar on her chin and back when she tried to fight against his guards.

Finn/FN-2187

Xayah sensed Finn’s hesitation to the First Order when they were on Jakku. Even investigating the Resistance pilot, Poe Dameron, she sensed him coming to the location she was at. Before she left the room, she only told the pilot that  someone is coming to save him. Xayah didn’t tell anyone else that the defected Stormtrooper would save the pilot as they only came to know about when an unauthorized TIE Fighter left the hangar. Upon meeting again on Crait before the Resistance got away, Finn is still unsure about the former knight, even with information Xayah provided about the First Order as he knew she was a captain like Phasma.

Rey

Xayah heard from Snoke about Rey, a scavenger girl who managed to give Kylo Ren a scar and best him in a lightsaber match when she never held one in her life. When Rey saw Xayah in the throne room before Snoke was assassinated by Kylo, Rey had also sensed the conflict in Xayah. But at the same time she felt the potential Xayah had, that could help the Resistance. In the turn of the events, Xayah helped Rey get off the Supremacy to help the remaining members of the Resistance on Crait telling the soon-to-be Jedi that she will meet with them soon. After boarding the Millennium Falcon, Padme (formerly Xayah) told Rey that the both of them still have a long way to go in mastering the Light of the Force.

Family

Han Solo

In her early childhood, Padme always wanted to go on her adventures with her father, Han Solo. Even when Chewie would come back with Han on their dealings, Padme would always talk to the Wookie about the adventures they’ve been on. Padme was always curious with the smugglings Han did. Growing up, the distance between the father and daughter only grew bigger as Padme went to train under her uncle, Luke Skywalker, and turning to the dark side to be with her brother, Ben. After all the years, she dreamed of reuniting as a family and make up for the lost time. But after seeing her own brother kill their father, not only broke Ben, but it also broke Padme. After the loss of her father, she slowly began to think of ways to leave the First Order to be with her mother in hopes of becoming a family again.

Ben Solo/Kylo Ren

Ben is Padme’s older brother and the only sibling she looked up to. When Leia and Han were away dealing with the aftermath of the war against the Empire, Padme was there to comfort Ben as reassure him that he is not alone. Padme always stood close to Ben after hearing their parents argue one night. Unlike Ben who was force sensitive at an early age, Padme did not become force sensitive until later on before they became teens. The two were inseparable as they trained under Luke Skywalker and moved to the dark side of the force. This also includes being Knights of Ren, both Ben and Padme got rid of their names to become Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, and Xayah Ren, Mistress of the Knights of Ren. The two used the dark force to their advantages and joined the First Order at a high rank close to Snoke. But after seeing her brother kill their own father, Han Solo, the deed not only broke Kylo, but it also made Xayah become distraught and desire to leave the First Order. Once Kylo became the new Supreme Leader, Xayah faked her death, cutting the force bond between her and Kylo, to join the Resistance.

Leia Organa

Padme is Leia’s daughter, named after her grandmother, Padme Amidala. In Padme’s childhood, Leia told her stories about Alderaan and stories about her grandmother. Padme dreamed of reuniting with her mother to become a family again, until she was pulled to join the First Order with her brother. When fighting the First Order, Leia sensed her daughter’s presence and held onto a hope that Padme still has light in her and will return to her one day. Upon meeting in secret one day, Padme told Leia how much she missed her mother, but refused to come back home without Ben. However, Padme decided to join the Resistance when Snoke was assassinated and Kylo ascended to be the new Supreme Leader. Padme and Leia reconciled, but Padme still feels guilty for not coming back with Ben. Reunited with her mother, being the only family she has, Padme fights for the freedom of the Galaxy.

Luke Skywalker

Luke is Padme’s uncle and former mentor of hers when she was training under him at the Jedi Academy. Luke made sure Padme excelled in her Jedi training as she was close to apprenticeship with her brother, Ben. Until one night, Padme sensed a huge disturbance in the force and went to tell Luke. But the moment she went to her master, she saw him ignite his lightsaber at her sleeping brother. Trying to stop him, Luke easily knocked out his niece causing Ben to wake up to see what was happening before him. The moment Ben saw the lightsaber ignited and his unconscious sister, it was too late for Luke and Ben took matter into his own hands and defended himself against Luke. This lead to the fall of the Jedi Academy as Ben left with his sister and a few other students while the rest perished and the buildings had burned to the ground. To the day Padme became Xayah and Captain of the First Order, she longed for answers that only her uncle knows.

Sophia

@yans-selfshipstand‘s s/i. Padme’s sister-in-law and Kylo Ren’s special other. Padme had trained Sophia in using the force even though she was Kylo’s apprentice. The two held a close relationship until Kylo became Supreme Leader. Feeling betrayed by one of her mentors, Sophia trains to get stronger in the dark force to cut down her own teacher for betraying the order and leaving her and Kylo behind.

Romantic

A Knight of Ren

Xayah’s first lover. But this relationship between the two knights had been a secret and only lasted for a short time. Between Xayah and this mysterious fellow Knight, the two were very close. Unfortunately, Xayah broke the relationship when she was appointed as Captain of the First Order. She only did this for the best and to keep her promise to stay by her brother, Kylo Ren’s side.

Poe Dameron

Padme’s current lover and boyfriend. The two met when Poe was captured by the First Order on Jakku. It did not take long for the Resistance pilot to recognize that Xayah was the missing daughter of General Organa. After Poe escaped with a defected Stormtrooper, FN-2187 (now Finn), Xayah knew that they will meet again soon. Through secret meetings, Poe and Xayah got to know each other, soon feelings had blossomed. Poe found it hard to believe that he was falling for the enemy, but he never believed Xayah was a threat to him and through the secret meetings he knew there was still good in her. He tried to convince the Knight of Ren to join him in the Resistance only to be let down. However on the Battle of Crait, Xayah (now Padme again) returned to help him and the others escape. By helping him and the Resistance escape from the First Order, that’s when he knew Padme was staying with him and joining the Resistance for good.

[kateywlo]

The Mornings of the Siblings

@gsnkfandomweek GSNK FANDOM WEEK DAY 7: Manga/ Manga-Only Characters — The Mornings of the Siblings

Words: 1312 Characters: Sakura Towa, Sakura Chiyo, Kashima Rei, Kashima Yuu, Nozaki Mayu, Nozaki Yumeko, Seo Yuzuki, Seo Ryosuke, Hori Masayuki and Nozaki Umetarou (both only mentioned) Ships: Slight phrases of HoriKashi Summary: (In chronological order) The mornings of Sakura Towa, Kashima Rei, Nozaki Mayu and Yumeko, and Seo Ryosuke.

-----

Coughing, Sakura felt herself sobbing by the fact that she was unable to attend school and see Nozaki nor help him with his manga. Meanwhile, Towa grudgingly ate his breakfast in attempted peace over his noisy sister’s wails.

“Towa,” she sobbed for the 100th and last time, “How am I supposed to see Nozaki-kun today?!”

“Onee-chan, you’re so noisy,” he sighed, glancing her way reluctantly. And it’s 2x worse today, he thought to himself, gazing at his sister who had been crying and talking about how admirable Nozaki was.

Towa, on the other hand, had no idea why his sister Chiyo was so in love with him. He was just a model and was certainly beyond her reach. Massaging his temples, he wondered how she would’ve coped if Nozaki got a girlfriend from the world of models. It certainly wasn’t an impossible reality and that… was one of his most recent concerns. What if Nozaki had become so popular that he disregarded Sakura and her feelings towards him? With him as a model and she as a regular high school student, they were worlds apart, especially since he had always received such a large range of love letters and portraits while a number of people competed for his autographs. Raising himself upwards from his seat, he entered his room and returned to the kitchen, shoving his neatly folded sports uniform into his bag and hoisting his tennis racquet over his shoulder.

“Onee-chan, I’m going,” he said.

“Take care Towa,” she sighed wistfully and he knew for certain that she was thinking of that model again.

--------------------------

Rei began braiding the smaller ends of her hair as she began preparing herself early in the morning. Her school was 3 stations away from Roman Academy after all so she needed far more time to prepare than her sister. She wondered how her sister, Yuu, was doing. Smiling to herself, she thought to herself that Yuu would be sleeping peacefully in her room. Recently, her older sister had been focused on club activities despite being so lax about it previously. She wondered if she found someone she had fallen in love with, perhaps a senpai or something of the sort. Rei couldn’t understand since she went to an all girls’ school but she had several male teachers and was always instructed to not touch males by them.

She was certainly very surprised when she had found that the the person she idolised, Yumeno Sakiko, the manga artist of ‘Let’s Fall in Love’ was a male rather than a female. Finishing her hair, she pat down her uniform and glanced at herself in the bathroom mirror. She looked ready to set out after breakfast. Popping bread into the toaster, she began packing her bag, placing in all that she needed for today then smearing butter onto the toaster as she began setting off. Heading to the doorway, she felt herself be embraced from behind.

“Rei, are you leaving already?” Kashima said, snuggling onto her sister’s shoulder comfortably.

“Onee-sama,” Rei pouted as she slipped on her shoes, “I can’t be late for my train.”

“Wait for me Rei, I’ll be done in a minute,” Kashima said, instantly standing upwards and returning to her room. She instantly came back, dressed in the familiar black jumper and navy blue skirt. Her sister was fast at redressing, as one would expect for a drama club member, she’d have to quickly change costumes to continue acting.

“Onee-sama, on the school festival… I’ll see you act, won’t I?” she inquired as Kashima opened the door for her like a proper gentleman.

A smile played on Kashima’s lips as she remembered the school festival from when she was still in middle school. She had specifically chosen to enrol into Roman Academy due to witnessing Hori’s exceptional acting and was delighted when he scouted her. “Of course you will,” she replied. “Maybe you’ll even get to see Hori-senpai’s acting… I’m so happy when I’m on the stage with him that I can’t stop smiling.”

Rei beamed at the way she had spoken about her senpai. Perhaps that was the reason she had become more motivated for club activities. Giggling to herself, she asked one more question. “Do you love him?”

Kashima paused until glancing at her sister whilst beaming as she thought about Hori. She always became motivated when he was on stage with her and always felt motivated regardless of his role; he could’ve been her lover, her rival, her pet or some other role and she’d still be ecstatic. Taking all of those factors into consideration, she grinned. “I do!” she replied enthusiastically.

---------

Mayu was tired… well, rather than tired, the more correct term would’ve been lazy. He was in his spotted pyjamas and wasn’t even bothered enough to eat. The only reason why he would’ve looked forward to school today is because there was judo club activities today and as the captain and a sports enthusiast, he had to attend. Groaning and reluctantly parting from his bed, he headed to the bathroom whilst beginning to nod off as he squeezed out toothpaste onto his toothbrush. After brushing his teeth, he sat on the dining table, still dressed in his pyjamas. His little sister, Yumeko, was already dressed in her middle school uniform though. Donning on a green dress over her white shirt, a ribbon tied near her collar.

“Onii-chan,” she said, “You’re still wearing your pyjamas.”

He sighed and returned back to his room then returned back with his white polo shirt and pyjama pants. His expression was one of believing that changing was tiresome… unless it was for judo. Therefore, old enough to understand that factor, Yumeko decided that it would’ve been best to leave him alone instead of sending him to go back and change into his school pants. She was looking forward to the new chapter of ‘Let’s Fall in Love’ that was being released today in the stores. Her older brother, Umetarou, would probably be dropping by in the afternoon with the volume, sighed and everything. She truly did wonder why he always lied about saying he was ‘Yumeno Sakiko’. He’d never be able to fool her but he was getting better at copying Yumeno’s signature. It was even the spitting image. She watched her brother head out while still eating his breakfast and made no comment, deciding to trail after him so they could walk to school together.

----------

Seo awoke to the sound of plates being returned into the cupboard repeatedly. Her brother, Ryosuke, was probably awake and was about to head to university or work. Opening the door, she glanced at him from afar who had begun to tie his hair back as he washed the dishes, already finishing breakfast. Ryosuke wiped down the dining table, a habit from his work and double checked his bag. He had his waiter uniform in the larger back pocket and the rest of his school supplies at the front. He wondered whether Miyako was going to be attending today’s lesson and brushed it off. She was probably busy with her own work… as a cabaret lady along with that man named Nozaki. He still couldn’t believe that she was a cabaret lady but he was relieved that she and Nozaki weren’t a couple. Glancing at the clock, he realised that he was going to be running late for his morning shift if he didn’t leave now since classes were in the afternoon.

“Crap,” he thought aloud as he quickly yet clumsily slipped on his shoes and staggered out the doorway as he attempted to leave while still putting on his shoes. “I’m leaving!”

Closing the door behind him, he knew his little sister Yuzuki would’ve been able to take care of herself. Smiling to himself, he guessed that she was probably still asleep in her room.

[dippedanddripped]

Some time ago, I began wondering what the point of life was. Looking inward was something I struggled with, and I didn’t feel well supported. When I sat in my chair, bumping hip-hop music, feeling depression while my child cried, I believed at the time my life was going to be mediocre.

I became a father as a teenager, and to manage my psychological pain I began to write my feelings down in a small notebook that walked with me everywhere I went. Tupac Shakur became my first mentor and teacher. He gave me access to passion and vision that would help me heal and work through my mental health issues. I would often find myself listening to 2Pac and writing my rage on each sheet of paper that would accept my ink.

Hip-hop gave me a voice

My family struggled with mental health issues, substance abuse and violence. Stability was sort of a dream that I only saw on TV shows. While at school I was treated differently. I was a “troubled youth.” No one discussed college with me, nor even community college. My options seemed hopeless. My home life was in shambles and trauma consistently followed my steps.

During my late teens, though, I began to develop a desire for learning. Hip-hop gave me a voice, gave me knowledge and allowed me to transform my pain from the internal prison I created into creativity. Music helped me heal, find purpose and eventually offered a path out of poverty for my children. I knew early on I would be a better father than my step-father had been.

I did end up going to college, studying the impact of music on human neuropsychology at UC Davis. Now I teach. I help other kids find that same sense of purpose that empowered me to change my life.

My studies—and my own experience—taught me that music could heal. Music speaks to all of us.

The Power of Music

So often we forget about the power music possesses in our society, yet it is found in all we do. From faith to movies to family gatherings, music is a central participant in our lives. After years of healing through music and writing poetry to get my emotions out, I quickly realized the significance of music. My studies—and my own experience—taught me that music could heal. Music speaks to all of us. Music teaches all of us. Music reminded me of the potential of my own human spirit. From this I began to wonder how I could take all this knowledge and translate it into something that would help youth.

Poverty and trauma are unfortunately more common than we like to admit. My program, Hip-hop Leadership Academy, or HHLA for short, began to take shape while I was working with some of the most traumatized youth in San Jose, Calif.

When I came home every day, it felt like the world was placed on my shoulders. My colleagues and I began to use music expression to decompress and manage the intense emotions related to our jobs. Then we had an epiphany. We decided our students would learn to do what we were doing. They would learn to express emotions to vent feelings and deepen their understanding of themselves. And they would do it through music.

Over the years, as I wrote poems, lyrics and other prose, I began to realize I was developing my socio-emotional intelligence. I was able to create relationships, speak authentically and manage my emotional states. Expression is critical for well-being, and creativity gives us access to deeper parts of our experience. Our students need that. We know they need that. So I began to examine music deeper to see which pieces would speak to youth and help facilitate conversations about topics we often leave out of school.

‘I Am Hip-Hop’

Today, I work with youth in and around Northern California’s South Bay as a hip-hop music and production teacher at Cristo Rey Jesuit High School and as an intervention specialist at Uplift Family Services, a nonprofit focused on mental health.

I focus my work on healing and getting the youth I work with to share their stories. I show them how changing up the music can produce different themes and we play with styles, delivery and structures to help them express emotions like happiness, empowerment and even sadness. Consistently silenced, they use hip-hop to recapture their voices. Although some of them remain faint, the emotion is always present.

I focus them on writing their story in a way that shows growth, power and honor. The kids in my programs often struggle to express themselves in school, and only see art and music as electives, which get low priority. Sometimes students speak up, sometimes they say only a line or two. They write lyrics to pre-mixed beats and they record them in a studio that I built to be mobile. I’ve found this makes it less intimidating and more approachable.

The results are staggering. I cannot tell you how many youth have brought me to tears, and I’ve felt such honor to witness to someone else’s life at such a personal level, which is what hip-hop does. Hip-hop brings us the most personal feelings and thoughts of a person directly to you. It gives youth a space to speak, vent, process and grow. They write lyrics about their home lives, personal problems, relationships and aspirations. The work I’m doing in mental health is showing the need for more of these programs that use both culture and technology to reach kids where they’re most vulnerable.

Music is a universal language and hip-hop provides culture kids can relate to. When we identify with hip-hop we say: “I am Hip-hop,” which is no different than saying “I am Mexican” or “I am Native American.” It is their identity. Giving them the platform to access culture and identity gives students an ownership on their own development. I am very specific about the music I use; I am trying to get students to open up and discuss important things, while watching their emotional intelligence get to work.

Music helped me reframe my reality, talked directly to me and showed me that knowledge was available to me. Hip-hop chose me.

When I say hip-hop provides access to healing, I mean that it can be used as a tool to boost self-expression, reflection, processing and coping skills for emotional regulation. It can help kids create a personal narrative, challenge their thoughts and become a true catalyst for change. Music gives access to expression when other communication skills lack.

A Light in the Darkness

In many communities, receiving mental health services is met with stigma and judgement—a repercussion that does not extend to writing and enjoying music. I can learn a lot about a student and how they see themselves in the world by discussing their musical tastes and favorite artists. It generates a whole new level of empathy, and establishes connection to each youth by validating their current emotional state.

A long time ago, I was looking out to the vast ocean with no way to see past the horizon. Today hip-hop has given me a purpose and access to people, such as musicians, professionals and students, I never thought possible. I was a teenage father with little support in an environment that would statistically yield little to no fruit. Music helped me reframe my reality, talked directly to me and showed me that knowledge was available to me. Hip-hop chose me.

I work with this energy because it gives to my spirit. The very nature of hip-hop is rooted in traditions, ancient knowledge and purpose. Hearing your voice, with your words, gives you a new perspective of yourself. It gave me my spirit back, and asked me to step back into my power. Hip-hop continues to be a global culture that is accepting. It validates our existence. It gives youth voice. It is effective because youth lead it, youth vibe with it and, most of all, it is designed to heal.

I work with hip-hop music because it saved my life many years ago and I continue to see how it saves others from their emotional cages. Hip-hop frees people and gives light to the darkness.

[moongoddesskiana]

Mikan Sakura Elric Chapter 1

Mikan’s Beginnings 

3rd Person POV

Mikan Sakura was a sweet, peaceful, and loving child, as was with her mother Yuka Sakura, but there is a secret they had kept from everyone else. Yuka and Mikan could travel to other worlds, dimensions, and galaxies. In fact Mikan's father, Alphonse Elric, was from another dimension. Her father's world is full of people who have the ability to preform Alchemy. Mikan and her mom would travel and forth between the dimensions to visit her dad and the rest of his family. When Mikan was 6 she became an alchemist, the youngest ever, since her uncle Edward was a tween when he became one. A month after she became an state alchemist, her baby brother was born in her father's world. Her cousins Abby, Robert and Steve congratulated Mikan on becoming a big sister. A week later, Yuka was driving Mikan and Youichi to the grocery store, when all of a sudden an out of control car slammed into their vehicle. Mikan and Youichi were okay, but Yuka didn't make it. At the time Mikan didn't know about her traveling alice so she couldn't go to or contact her dad. Mikan and Youichi lived peacefully in Japan until Mikan was 9 and Youichi was 2. Youichi was taken by alice academy, after Youichi accidentally summoned ghosts at some 2nd graders. Mikan resisted following Youichi, but when she was 10 and in 3rd grade her friend Hotaru (whom she met that year) went to the academy as well. Mikan went to alice academy to follow them, she didn't want to be separated from her brother and best friend. Even though she pretended to be dense, was only 1/500 the amount she pretended to be. Mikan went as soon as she she could not resist the urge to see Hotaru and Youichi. When Mikan got there she met people who wanted to kidnap her, she knew that but continued to act dumb, she planned on exposing them. Until a teacher came she still acted dumb and the teacher released his alice. Mikan saw and knew he was using an alice but still pretended even though she wanted to barf because of the way he was using it. He asked if she could feel anything and she said she didn't, which was true but she could see. Mikan got in for her nullification alice but she didn't mention her traveling alice, it was risky, her mom told her about the academy and her mom knew she had both nullification, steal\insert and traveling alice. Mikan knew about all of her alices now and knew not to say anything about them or Alchemy, Mikan didn't want to be in the Dangerous Ability class that her mom told her about.

Mikan's POV

It has been 2 years since I came here, I go between the dimensions whenever I get the chance I loved visiting, uncle Roy plays with me and cousin Emily who wants to be fuhrer like her dad, it was hilarious when aunt Riza took out her gun to her husband and told him to go to work. Uncle Ed and Aunt Winry were always having fun with me and my cousins or working. Uncle Ed was still in the military just not a state alchemist until an incident happened and Ed was forced to take people's gates and give his arm to truth again. Now Uncle Ed taught me what he knows somehow I can just clap and do Alchemy like uncle Ed, uncle Roy and Dad, no one knows why, but it makes being an alchemist easier. I once got discovered by the elementary school principal so when I'm here I secretly work with Rei-nii and do missions, they keep it secret so they have a secret weapon and I'm not discovered by the government win-win to me. They let me use my traveling alice freely and use my steal/insert when they need it, thanks to that I have a lot of alices but my original ones are life shortening.I suddenly am called on by Jin-Jin and answer the question easily. Uncle Roy is always keeping my knowledge in check and I study here and in Amestris when no one is looking, I'm actually smarter than a lot of people I have already finished college level work. Then I realize my mistake I responded like I would in Amestris, not like I do here. Everyone is looking at me I panic but I don't show it I use my state alchemist poker face. "Are you really Miss. Sakura?" Jin-Jin asks me, "I'm not feeling good, I'm going to the school hospital." Then Uncle Ed comes in, it must be serious if he used my alice stone. "I need to talk to Mikan Sakura, can someone tell me where she is?" Uncle Ed asks, we head out of the classroom to my no star dorm."Uncle Ed why are you here? What happened? Is everyone okay?" I ask scared of what is happening, "It hasn't harmed anyone we know yet but to the north the people are attacking Briggs, it's holding so far but are jobs as state alchemists are needed for a while I already explained to your principal and you can leave, this one might not end well. Mikan do you need to grab anything before we go to Amestris, but we have to be quick fuhrer Mustang asked for us personally, I'm thinking an elite group. Al found out and wants to watch your back." I feel like my world might explode, one of my countries is going to war, and my family and friends might be hurt. " Dad can be overprotective sometimes. Are any other countries involved?" "Xing is helping since emperor Ling and princess Mei insisted on joining because the dracmans are making a philosopher's stone." "But aren't they made of you know what?" "Yes, they are using ones from other countries surrounding them." "We better go Uncle Ed, Uncle Roy might get angry if we're late. I don't want him to use flame Alchemy on you again, last time your automail got singed Aunt Winry was furious. She nearly hit me with her wrench instead of you." "You know what maybe we should get going." I pack up my stuff and get out my modified uniform, I didn't like it and turned it into a similarly designed dress. I use my traveling alice and we are in central city right outside central HQ, I never get used to how big it is. We go right to fuhrer Mustang or Uncle Roy's office. We walk in and see Dad, and close family and family friends including Uncle Ling, Aunt Lanfan, Aunt Mei and others like Armstrong. I also see people I don't recognize who are either veterans from the Promise Day or elite alchemists. "Hey Havoc, no smoking in front of a minor especially me, I'm not afraid to use my Alchemy on you." "It's just one, what's the harm?" "Lung cancer and a bunch of other health risks." "Everyone I need your attention." "Yes, fuhrer Mustang." We all replied, " As we are talking our Briggs soldiers might be engaged in battle so I want an elite group of soldiers to help win this war. Any questions or does anyone not want to join something that could effect our whole country?" "No, sir." "I'd like Edward Elric to head this group with Hawkeye receiving updates until after our child is born." "It would be my honor to help this country once again fuhrer." "You'll be sent to Briggs next week by train. Mikan please stay for a moment, the rest of you may leave now." "What do you want to talk about fuhrer Mustang?" "I'm talking as your godfather right now, not fuhrer. Mikan please be careful out there, okay? I don't want you to get hurt, no one wants you to." "I know that Uncle Roy and I'm careful sometimes I wonder if you even would have let me become an alchemist not even a state one!" "I'm just worried about you. Talk to the rest of your family. Please talk to Riza she wants to watch my back 24/7 can you convince her to take it easy?" "I'll try it might take a little while. Love you Uncle Roy." I leave Uncle Roy's office and head to my room at central for when I have to be there for a while. I'm going to call my family tomorrow, I'm tired I hope my friends understand why I'm gone. Thinking about makes me wonder, will I survive? Will my family be safe? How long will the conflict last? How many innocent people will be hurt? What will happen next week when I leave for war?

[stns-info-blog]

Chapter 4 - Part 4

“How did Talia get trapped in a zone?

Why was the zone filled with a surplus of Vactos?

And was this a trap laid out by Chaos?

I guess I’ll have the answers soon, but it makes me so uneasy... I never thought it was possible to have two separate consciences belong to a single person like that. This is more than just a split personality, he’s like another being.

I can’t tell the other’s about this, what if it’s all just in my head? But then again, what he said about me is true. I remember that moment so well...

Just when I was beginning to lose the little hope I had, I spoke to him. But his will overpowered my own and he defeated our enemy. That’s when I had to step in, because he was losing consciousness.”

Lumiere was entranced in his own thoughts as he rode the bus home. Never before did he question his surroundings as much as he did now. However thinking about what transpired in this one day made him truly realize how empty his life had been before. 

Compared to all of this, the life he lived before was so insignificant. 

So why?

He opened the door to his home and unexpectedly, his father was waiting for him on the living room sofa.

“Hey Lumiere, could you come here for a second?” 

His father asked as he turned his head and gestured to him.

“What’s up?”

Lumiere informally addressed his father as he walked over to the sofa.

To this his father looked puzzled for a moment, but then got back on track to what he was about to say.

“I’ve gotten you a phone, this a Saturn. This way you can call us if anything happens when you’re at school. I had the company’s engineers make this ahead of time just for you. The rest don’t officially release until a month and a half from now, so if there are any bugs let me know and I’ll take care of it.” 

His father explained.

“Ah, thanks! I like the design on the back, it’s the same as the one on my shoes.” 

Lumiere said gratefully.

“Y-yeah... I had you in mind when I designed it.”

His father said awkwardly.

“Thanks again, and sorry for coming home late. I’m gonna go have dinner now!”

Lumiere said in an excited tone.

“Um, Lumiere... A-are you feeling okay?”

Spector nervously asked.

“Hm? Yeah I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

“You just seem- a little different lately. I was worried you might’ve gotten sick.”

“I’m fine dad, really. You don’t have to worry.”

“Sorry about that...”

“He must already know...”

Lumiere left the living room and then went to the kitchen to greet his mother and was oddly met with a normal reaction from her. He ate dinner and then went upstairs to prepare for the next day.

Once Lumiere was asleep, his parents began talking in the living room.

“So I take it you noticed it too?”

Lumiere father asked his mother.

“Yes, he’s definitely different. He’s changing...”

Lumiere’s mother said with a small smile on her face.

However her smile faded just as quickly as it formed.

“He wasn’t lying for the most part. He was genuinely happy. But when he said not to worry I could tell he was lying.”

“What? Why? Do you think something happened?”

“I don’t know Rei, that’s the thing. I mean- at most he was thinking about his eyes but I don’t know why he wouldn’t ask us if that was normal.”

“Yes his eyes… Another point for me! Mleh!”

Rei started off seriously but then became childish as she stuck her tongue out at Lumiere’s father.

“Yes... I know he’s colored like you and has the same favorite color, but that’s not the point.”

“You’re right. The point is that he looks a lot like you mister Spector.” 

Rei teased.

“No... you don’t have to try and lighten the mood, I know you’re lying.”

“Aww...”

“His eyes are the same as the ones in your family, but they’re brighter... almost like they’re not real. On top of that, eye color doesn’t change within a day’s time like that. Nothing in the body does...”

“I know. I bet Lumiere noticed, but didn’t want to tell us so that we wouldn’t question him.”

“Yeah, maybe the teacher he met today might know exactly how it happened, or if this has to do with him staying out so late. We should call the school to-”

Spector was interrupted by the sound of knocking on the front door. I was a polite knock, aware of the late hour and did not disturb the sleep of those already asleep.

Both Spector and Rei went to open the door and was greeted by an old golden hedgehog wearing a burgundy suit jacket.

“I thought you two were dead, but when I saw him, I was absolutely certain that you must have been alive.” 

Said the old hedgehog ominously.

“Cepheus!?”

Spector and Rei exclaimed.

“It’s been a long time you two... May I come inside?”

Syther asked them.

“Yes, come on in.”

Rei said, still on edge.

Syther took off his jacket and sat down on the sofa while Spector closed the door. He folded his arms, looked at Syther and immediately got down to business.

“Any word on him?”

Spector questioned with an extremely intense tone.

“None, just looking after her. Of course, she makes it very difficult. Unlike him...”

Syther said with an exasperated tone.

“I see... So you know Lumiere then?” 

Rei asked

“Yes. I asked him to meet me today. Two days ago he was attacked.”

“Dammit I knew-”

Spector began to say but he was cut off by Syther.

“Not but what you think. It was something different. I call them Vactos.”

“Vactos?”

“Let me explain from beginning. Vactos are monsters that come from a different dimension, each of them have different abilities and different types of intelligence. This makes them very unpredictable. I have formed a group that is capable of eliminating these monsters. For now it is a small group made up of five of us. Four now, because one our members is visiting their home for the time being.”

Syther explained to them.

“Are they all students?” 

Rei asked.

“Yes. They are students that go Knothole Academy, but surprising they are all very experienced.”

Syther said with praise.

“You speak about them as if they aren’t connected to us.”

Spector said, his voice full of suspicion.

“That’s because they aren’t. Only one of them looks like he could be connected, but his power is nothing close to the family he resembles.”

“So when Lumiere was attacked, did you save him from those things?”

Rei asked.

“I didn’t do a single thing. He defeated it on his own. He’s already got a good grasp of his powers.”

“We know. Although we haven’t told him that he has them. He hasn’t told us either.”

Spector said.

“Speaking of which, do you know what happened that caused his eyes to change?” 

Rei asked.

“I have no idea. I was actually going to ask you two that. Is that a trait he gets from both of you?”

“Not that we know...”

“Hm... then I’m guessing that he isn’t bipolar either.”

“So you picked up on that too?”

“Yes, he was vastly different one moment. And then something happened that I regret. He was in danger, we were ambushed by a Vacto impersonating a student of mine. It separated us from him and we were certain that his life was in danger. But that’s when he managed to defeat it on his own.”

Syther explained.

“Is that what caused him to start acting differently?”

Rei asked with concern.

“I’m not sure, I couldn’t interpret what exactly happened in that moment. After that fight, I took him with me on a mission to look for my missing student. Only in the middle of the mission did one of my students realize that his eyes had changed color from grey to amber. After that we fought against the Vactos and nothing unusual happened, however he did get knocked back pretty hard. He was only unconscious for a few minutes during that time.”

Syther explained to them again.

“So that mission is why he came back so late.”

Rei said with reassurance.

“Yes we were done at around sunset, that’s when I went to check in on my granddaughter.”

“...What? Lumiere came back at around 9 this evening.”

Rei said with confusion.

“What? That doesn’t make any sense. What was he doing then? Actually, now that I think about it... she came back home at around the same time.”

Syther contemplated.

“But they don’t know each other at all right?”

Rei, Spector, and Syther spent time contemplating if the two events were connected but ultimately could not come up with a conclusion. Syther then proposed to watch over Lumiere as he helped with the elimination of the Vactos. Lumiere’s parents agreed and put him in Syther’s care. Lumiere was now officially part of the VET.

However how does Syther know Lumiere’s parents? 

What transpired was unbeknownst to Lumiere himself, and the next day, the day of rest, will go on as if nothing happened that night. 

[zipgrowth]

Hip-Hop Gave Me Purpose — Now It Helps My Students Find Their Voice

Some time ago, I began wondering what the point of life was. Looking inward was something I struggled with, and I didn’t feel well supported. When I sat in my chair, bumping hip-hop music, feeling depression while my child cried, I believed at the time my life was going to be mediocre.

I became a father as a teenager, and to manage my psychological pain I began to write my feelings down in a small notebook that walked with me everywhere I went. Tupac Shakur became my first mentor and teacher. He gave me access to passion and vision that would help me heal and work through my mental health issues. I would often find myself listening to 2Pac and writing my rage on each sheet of paper that would accept my ink.

Hip-hop gave me a voice

My family struggled with mental health issues, substance abuse and violence. Stability was sort of a dream that I only saw on TV shows. While at school I was treated differently. I was a “troubled youth.” No one discussed college with me, nor even community college. My options seemed hopeless. My home life was in shambles and trauma consistently followed my steps.

During my late teens, though, I began to develop a desire for learning. Hip-hop gave me a voice, gave me knowledge and allowed me to transform my pain from the internal prison I created into creativity. Music helped me heal, find purpose and eventually offered a path out of poverty for my children. I knew early on I would be a better father than my step-father had been.

I did end up going to college, studying the impact of music on human neuropsychology at UC Davis. Now I teach. I help other kids find that same sense of purpose that empowered me to change my life.

My studies—and my own experience—taught me that music could heal. Music speaks to all of us.

The Power of Music

So often we forget about the power music possesses in our society, yet it is found in all we do. From faith to movies to family gatherings, music is a central participant in our lives. After years of healing through music and writing poetry to get my emotions out, I quickly realized the significance of music. My studies—and my own experience—taught me that music could heal. Music speaks to all of us. Music teaches all of us. Music reminded me of the potential of my own human spirit. From this I began to wonder how I could take all this knowledge and translate it into something that would help youth.

Poverty and trauma are unfortunately more common than we like to admit. My program, Hip-hop Leadership Academy, or HHLA for short, began to take shape while I was working with some of the most traumatized youth in San Jose, Calif.

When I came home every day, it felt like the world was placed on my shoulders. My colleagues and I began to use music expression to decompress and manage the intense emotions related to our jobs. Then we had an epiphany. We decided our students would learn to do what we were doing. They would learn to express emotions to vent feelings and deepen their understanding of themselves. And they would do it through music.

Over the years, as I wrote poems, lyrics and other prose, I began to realize I was developing my socio-emotional intelligence. I was able to create relationships, speak authentically and manage my emotional states. Expression is critical for well-being, and creativity gives us access to deeper parts of our experience. Our students need that. We know they need that. So I began to examine music deeper to see which pieces would speak to youth and help facilitate conversations about topics we often leave out of school.

‘I Am Hip-Hop’

Today, I work with youth in and around Northern California’s South Bay as a hip-hop music and production teacher at Cristo Rey Jesuit High School and as an intervention specialist at Uplift Family Services, a nonprofit focused on mental health.

I focus my work on healing and getting the youth I work with to share their stories. I show them how changing up the music can produce different themes and we play with styles, delivery and structures to help them express emotions like happiness, empowerment and even sadness. Consistently silenced, they use hip-hop to recapture their voices. Although some of them remain faint, the emotion is always present.

I focus them on writing their story in a way that shows growth, power and honor. The kids in my programs often struggle to express themselves in school, and only see art and music as electives, which get low priority. Sometimes students speak up, sometimes they say only a line or two. They write lyrics to pre-mixed beats and they record them in a studio that I built to be mobile. I’ve found this makes it less intimidating and more approachable.

The results are staggering. I cannot tell you how many youth have brought me to tears, and I’ve felt such honor to witness to someone else’s life at such a personal level, which is what hip-hop does. Hip-hop brings us the most personal feelings and thoughts of a person directly to you. It gives youth a space to speak, vent, process and grow. They write lyrics about their home lives, personal problems, relationships and aspirations. The work I’m doing in mental health is showing the need for more of these programs that use both culture and technology to reach kids where they’re most vulnerable.

Music is a universal language and hip-hop provides culture kids can relate to. When we identify with hip-hop we say: “I am Hip-hop,” which is no different than saying “I am Mexican” or “I am Native American.” It is their identity. Giving them the platform to access culture and identity gives students an ownership on their own development. I am very specific about the music I use; I am trying to get students to open up and discuss important things, while watching their emotional intelligence get to work.

Music helped me reframe my reality, talked directly to me and showed me that knowledge was available to me. Hip-hop chose me.

When I say hip-hop provides access to healing, I mean that it can be used as a tool to boost self-expression, reflection, processing and coping skills for emotional regulation. It can help kids create a personal narrative, challenge their thoughts and become a true catalyst for change. Music gives access to expression when other communication skills lack.

A Light in the Darkness

In many communities, receiving mental health services is met with stigma and judgement—a repercussion that does not extend to writing and enjoying music. I can learn a lot about a student and how they see themselves in the world by discussing their musical tastes and favorite artists. It generates a whole new level of empathy, and establishes connection to each youth by validating their current emotional state.

A long time ago, I was looking out to the vast ocean with no way to see past the horizon. Today hip-hop has given me a purpose and access to people, such as musicians, professionals and students, I never thought possible. I was a teenage father with little support in an environment that would statistically yield little to no fruit. Music helped me reframe my reality, talked directly to me and showed me that knowledge was available to me. Hip-hop chose me.

I work with this energy because it gives to my spirit. The very nature of hip-hop is rooted in traditions, ancient knowledge and purpose. Hearing your voice, with your words, gives you a new perspective of yourself. It gave me my spirit back, and asked me to step back into my power. Hip-hop continues to be a global culture that is accepting. It validates our existence. It gives youth voice. It is effective because youth lead it, youth vibe with it and, most of all, it is designed to heal.

I work with hip-hop music because it saved my life many years ago and I continue to see how it saves others from their emotional cages. Hip-hop frees people and gives light to the darkness.

Hip-Hop Gave Me Purpose — Now It Helps My Students Find Their Voice published first on https://medium.com/@GetNewDLBusiness