zeemaliks

[zeemaliks]

you know, i was doing just fine living in this fantasy in which i didn't have to speak to any ex-girlfriend of mine. it's just fucking draining, em. you should focus on things that really matters to you; flowers, clothes, being a massive bitch and all that shit.

are you going to keep pretending i don't exist? or be an actual man and talk to me? i realize that is probably hard for you to wrap your brain around but lets not give the press anything to talk about. @zeemaliks

[zeemaliks]

for millions of people to see? not so much no. i one hundred percent prefer one on one conversations. it's the glorious life of being friends with an introvert. hold up — you used to date pattinson? let me just process this real quick....

.. so did the lion fall in love with the lamb? did he call you spider-monkey? were you a drug to him? did he try and change your diet from meat to tofu? did he randomly stand in the corner and stare at you while you slept? last but not least, were you or were you not caught in a love triangle? in all seriousness, i get what you mean when you say that your ex was your muse. just feels like shit when it doesn't work out in the end. yeah i did. i could certainly feel your vulnerability through the lyrics. was that intentional, or did it happen the second you started recording the song?

what? you don't like a very serious conversation on twitter? jokes aside — good choice. my new song ??? well, the sparkling guy from twilight, also known as mt ex was the biggest inspiration source and muse for it. he was kind of the first one that made me believe in love again after years of just feeling as if it had went by me and heartbreak was it for me. but you've listened to it then i reckon ?? so give me your honest review..

[zeemaliks]

zayn: nah, he's never been this messed up before. i've never seen him spiral like that. zayn: can't say that i'm surprised that he thought with his dick. i am surprised that he dared risking his friendship with me. live and learn, and all that shit. zayn: zero loyalty. zayn: trust me, he's not worth the risk zayn: it is fucking hilarious toying with his life and watch him burn at the stake. zayn: if anything, he makes a remarkable nintendo game.

📱𝗶𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 » zap ⚡

cody: didn't we all know he's a tool though? cody: sorry bro, but you were best bros with him for years. are you really surprised he'd pull something like this? cody: dude's got no limits, no respect. cody: yeah. haven't let fists fly in a little too long. cody: getting a bit restless over here.

[zeemaliks]

not to my knowledge but we still have two more days in france so who knows? i might just have a few things up my sleeve. the wounds are permanently open. even if you were to discuss the matter, i wouldn't take offense. kind of you, love but i'm always sky high. shit like that never affects me.

so have you beaten someone to death yet? do you need me to bail you out of jail? i'm kidding i'm not going to open up any wounds, it's none of my business. just heard there was drama. and i do my best to stay far away from that. just checking in to see if you're alright yeah? | @zeemaliks

[zeemaliks]

and if you aren't little miss goodie two-shoes, then by all means please do inform me of your true colors. ..and yet here you are, famous and in the center of gossip and blinding lights. tell me, do you still avoid getting yourself in trouble? you inherited graceland? so when are we going?

i tend to too, it's much kinder to me. little miss goodie two-shoes? oh zayn, you definitely have the wrong girl. my mom made sure not to give me the family name so i could get in trouble without the whole world hearing about it, like they did with her. i have plenty of fun, don't you worry. you don't need to sneak when you have the key, babe. much to my grandmothers dismay, i inherited graceland when my mom passed.

[zeemaliks]

are you referring to stds? can you honestly say that you've been living your best life if you haven't experienced the humiliation of texting at least five birds to tell them that they might be exposed to chlamydia? that's loyalty right there, love. i'm gonna hit you up next time i'm in need of an excuse. the realest.

i don't think that's accurate. whatever happens in amsterdam has the tendency to follow you, and takes about five to seven days to clear up with antibiotics. i can say with confidence that i've never attempted a british accent, but i'm willing to put forth my best efforts just for you. you gotta promise not to laugh when i completely butcher it. you are the real one, malik.

[zeemaliks]

i basically stopped listening after you said something about hot yoga. you need to explain what that means so i can join you, or at least pretend to take the class. is that right? here i thought you were a legit dora the explorer seeing as you're always out of town. thanks, love. are you at the hotel or? pretty sure there's still time to catch a drink or two. i mean, if you're game.

after a hot yoga class and a full spa treatment, i finally feel human again after the trip here and going straight down the red carpet. one would think after this many years in the industry i'd be used to cross-continental flights, but i'm just not made for them. how was your journey to cannes? i saw pics of you from last night, looking dapper. too bad we didn't cross paths. i would've loved to say hi, it's been a while. / @zeemaliks

[zeemaliks]

[zeemaliks]

"i don't understand why you're being so mean.."

[zeemaliks]

zayn: a bit of both i'd say. just getting to know dua and enjoying the calm before the storm. zayn: and leave a perfectly good morning fuck? zayn: okay. zayn: socials? you mean ariana and eyebrows? gotta admit, it seems kinda fucked up zayn: but who am i to judge. with great sex comes great responsibility, and maybe he's packed for all i know. zayn: then again, all guys might feel big when entering ariana. she tiny.

📱𝗶𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 » zap ⚡

cody: how's your cannes so far? i'm guessing either a) you're getting your dick wet or b) fighting the angry mob that wants your head. cody: which one is it? cody: i'm about to hit the bar for a stiff morning drink and you're encouraged to join me. cody: because while i'm not opposed to being someone's boytoy, a heads up she's dating another dude would've been nice, instead of finding out through socials.

[zeemaliks]

zayn malik attends the 2023 cannes film festival

[zeemaliks]

what the fuck you on about now you meddling midget? if you're referring to the shit that went down last night, i'll have you know that i'm fucking euphoric. now, are you reaching out on behalf of barbara, i'll have you know that she's nothing more than a pawn in a much bigger game.

aye – well, congratu-fucking-lations, man. can see you still take the title spot for being an absolute fucking snake. do you just thrive on stirring shit or something? i’d love to know, actually, please tell enlighten me.  (  @zeemaliks​  ) 

[zeemaliks]

private: did you want me to ask you? i thought because of your friendship with gigi, you might want to keep things on the dl. you know, anwar and all that. fuckin' hadids cockblocking me since 2021.

private: hmm, now you're sweet talking me. but all this from a man who won't ask me to be his date? how'd you know you're my only caller? i might be booked and damn busy when we get to cannes, z.

[zeemaliks]

zayn: he's a fucking tool. zayn: dude, it's the fact that he tried to convince me that he wouldn't zayn: and i told him that shit would go down if he messed with that particular squad. call me a fuckin' prophet 'cause i saw the future zayn: punch in? aight aight i see what you mean

📱𝗶𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 » zap ⚡

cody: that's the lamest excuse ever. cause we all know it isn't true. cody: isn't anything with open legs and a pulse his type? cody: didn't say you needed backup dancers, bro. cody: i'd just love to get a punch in, is all. cody: beers and plotting it is.

[zeemaliks]

zayn: it was fun and chill until he decided to go after gigi zayn: the dipshit even told me he wouldn't. she wasn't his type zayn: he should've known better but he's dumb as fuck zayn: yo, do i look like i need backup dancers? zayn: i'm always down for a beers and plotting

📱𝗶𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 » zap ⚡

cody: wait, wtf? cody: ffs. that dude needs to learn to keep his dick in his pants. cody: you don't dick around? that's the understatement of the century. cody: need a wingman for the inevitable brawl all this will result in?

[zeemaliks]

zayn: mate, i'm buzzin. zayn: found out that elordi took gigi to cannes zayn: we all know the ain't doing because he's such a fuckin legit friend. nah, he wanted to get his dick wet zayn: never informed me, so i told him he had xx minutes to uninvite gigi or i'll spill his biz zayn: don't know if he did, but i ended up texting mendes, tellin him that elordi's fucking kendall, while catching feelings for hill. zayn: u know me, i don't dick around.

📱𝗶𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 » zap ⚡

cody: can we talk about what's happened in the past 24 hours? cody: give me the rundown, homie. cody: because right now this entire thing is like trying to spell with alphabet soup. cody: aka i'm confused as all hell.

[zeemaliks]

private: you know what i was thinkin earlier? how unfuckingbelievably lucky i am to have you in my bed for the next seven days. to be able to fuck you nice and slow each morning and wreck you each night. / @duaalipa