#regretting coming out even though it was not negative and probably will never be brought up again anyway

[theapocalypseisuponus]

as said i will come online when I feel the need to post. Anyway: ARRGRGRGGGHH MY SELF ESTEEM WHYYYY IS IT SO BADDD

[fairydares]

loook i get why the idea of riding the "anti/pro" fandom disk horse makes people gag a little in their mouth and try to opt out entirely, but here's why i went from feeling exactly the same way to taking a firm profiction stance. I've been meaning to make this post for a while.

~10 years ago, I posted a fic for the first time and it got its own harassment campaign. The fic wasn't even sexual, and wasn't going to be (it remains incomplete). It was accurately rated T on fanfiction.net. Anyone in the Fairy Tail fandom will understand this: I literally got harassed for writing a "Lucy leaves the guild" fic💀.

After many nice comments, someone left a pretty nasty one. Hurt, I messaged them back. They acted super attacked that I'd responded (lmao) and after we argued, threatened to "rip my shitty story apart in the comments section" if I responded again. I told them "go ahead lol."

They went ahead.

Now know that it was a relatively small harassment campaign, but at the time, it was devastating. Right around then, I wound up in the hospital. After I got out, I went to excitedly check my fic, and found several reviews saying things I wouldn't repeat to my worst enemy. I was suicide-baited more than once, told "thank fuck you finally abandoned this shitty story, dumb cunt," stuff like that.

There were several accounts involved, and I can't say for sure, but I suspect at least a couple different people were involved, though probably at least half of it was one person.

All the other comments were screeching about how I hadn't updated, mostly. "NO UPDAAATEE WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO MEEEE??!!!" was one that stood out after I'd been miserable in a hospital for an extended period of time.

Idk what people think is going on when FT fic authors write this trope, and frankly I don't give a fuck. Because while I was partly writing the story out of some young, cringe feminist rage, I also did genuinely have a real story I was compelled to tell. I was inspired by another, popular fic I loved which used the trope to talk about how trying to shoulder our burdens alone really just hurts both ourselves and everyone who cares about us.

My own story was ultimately going to have similar themes, with more focus on strength, what it means, and in what contexts earning and having it actually matters. In retrospect, no wonder I wound up in hot water, because at the time "Lucy vs. Strength vs. Misogyny" was the FT fandom's Designated Nonsensically Activist Debate™. But that's partly why i wanted to write about it; engaging with the fandom had gotten me thinking about it 🤷‍♂️

Not too long after that, FFNet oh-so-benevolently granted us the ability to delete comments from our own stories (they never took my reports seriously at all, afaik). I deleted all or most of the harassers' comments (may still be a one or two up, and i'm fairly sure there's a couple comments defending my fic from the harassment) without saving screenshots, which I really regret now. I was just so mortified and full of self-loathing about the whole thing that i wanted to forget it completely. Something that had brought me joy at a very lonely, vulnerable period of my life had turned so negative, and i couldn't even tell the people closest to me about it without being made fun of for writing anime fan fiction.

I didn't understand why this happened at the time, but--after a period of trying to forget/bid out of it all with a slight anti lean (a common approach I see people use, and one which I'm not proud of adopting)--I just had to figure out What the Fuck Even Happened There. And I'm telling you, after years of reflecting, wrestling with both sides, and educating myself, that this "status quo of harassment" culture which pervades fandom goes way deeper than you think and comes out of a way darker well than you probably realize. An astonishing amount of this is, quite literally, TERF shit and evangelical shit.

Trying to be in fandom and take a stance of, "Anti/Pro shit? Ew, I'm Not Touching that," is like swimming in a heavily polluted river and being like, "Poison? Cringe. Not me lol."

You might be lucky enough to be in a less-polluted part of the river (AKA a relatively non-toxic fandom, in which case good for you!)...but tbh this rhetoric and peer-signalling will still seep in.

I can't stress enough that pro-fiction, AKA "proship", is the normal, leftist-about-art-and-sex opinion. Pro-ship is against all the horrible things you're against; in fact, pro-ship isn't trivializing real trauma by equating it with fictional trauma, or trying to apply literal evangelical/radfem solutions--which are proven not to prevent or help. Profiction/proship is literally just saying, "Fiction is fiction, reality is reality, and the two don't have a 1:1 relationship. And historically, trying to censor just things we've decided are bad has done nothing but get LGBTQ+ and POCs censored. Therefore, depictions of illegal things shouldn't be censored." That's it. "Proshippers all ship problematic ships," is a brazen lie. Many of them share other fans' disgust for those ships, they just don't believe in censoring fic authors over it.

It is also taking a stand against harassment because--and I hope my own story has helped drive this home--as with all groups who adopt ingroup/outgroup thinking, antis are defined by their tactics, not actual stances on real, serious issues. What happened to me was absolutely a result of anti, "it's okay to 'bully out' anything I just don't like" mindset pervading fandom. In a way, this was the mindset's final form. They didn't even feel the need to cite a reason the trope was "bad" or "wrong"; it annoyed them, and they viewed their own feelings as a valid enough pathway for policing to go right ahead and do so.

In the interest of offering solutions instead of just bitching about problems, I might make a "how to know if you've bought into these types of views"-type post sometime. Also might come back to this and provide some sources/citation.

[pearlescent-soda]

🐾//Three Diablos Language Headcanons:

A series of headcanons I forgot to post on my 3,000th re-watch of the 13-minute animated short. I quickly realized that if those three little kittens began to speak, they would probably know more languages than Puss himself. All three are multilingual to some degree, but their ability to speak certain languages are different for various reasons. Sometimes it's a lack of practice... Sometimes it's a deliberate exclusion.

---

Based loosely on the proficiency guidelines set up by the American Council on the Teaching of Foreign Languages.

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Literary References: -'The Vain Little Mouse' -'The Lion and the Thorn' -'The Lion and the Mouse'

TW: Mild Violence (Briefly Mentioned) and Past Abuse (Briefly Mentioned)

---

⚔️Gonzalo:

Cat = Superior. He's semi-familiar with this language, his upbringing saw him link up with every street critter that wasn't a cat. Truthfully, he'd sooner go to ask a rat for directions than he would a cat. It was because he started roaming the streets more in his adolescence that he got a chance to actually practice using it... When he wasn't guarding Princess Alessandra that is, aka, neglecting his duties in favor of hanging out with other tomcats and strays for... God knows what.

English = Distinguished. The official languages of Bellagamba are Italian and English, so he had no choice but to learn it, Princess' orders. One small issue, though, Gonzalo doesn't like authority figures and he most certainly doesn't like being told what to do, he listens to the royal family and his siblings to a greater degree, but everyone else is liable to receive an eye roll, a hiss, and a handful of claws to the face in that order. Need proof? Look no further than his battered and bruised English tutor who just. Wouldn't. Give. Up. No matter how many rotten apples he gave her or snakes he put in her shoes. Eventually, after a two-month long period of self-reflection, he started to regret his harsh treatment of her and very reluctantly gave in to her benign demands during her vocal lessons and even began to enjoy them a little. Well, it seems like the tenacious teacher has earned some of the troubled youth's respect.

French = Intermediate Mid. He knew words essential to his survival like 'food', 'water', 'money', and 'kill'. Learning it was never really on his agenda while under 'The Whisperer', but he still kept several key phrases and lots of foul language.

Italian = Distinguished. Perfetto! No tutor required, not with Alessandra next to him, who, in his opinion, was a much better teacher than the high-strung fools she usually brought in to teach him. He can be heard speaking this language often with everyone he comes across in Bellagamba first before using any English.

Spanish = Nope. After his short time with Puss, he was more than willing to learn how to speak Spanish, an enthusiasm that dwindled significantly over the years. He associates Spanish with Puss and Puss with every negative trait he can conjure up... He hasn't visited them in years! He never came back to Bellagamba, only his crappy store-bought gift cards did. And what were they written in? Words that resembled Spanish. Hell, half the time the words were totally illegible, and the paper was smeared with ink, cheap cologne, and spoiled milk. At this point, Gonzalo is now fully convinced that Puss has to be absolutely plastered in order to remember them, so if a card from Puss makes its way to him first, it's going straight into the trash. Safe to say he's not interested in learning anymore.

🌸Perla:

Cat > Distinguished. Learned from an old alley queen before her peaceful demise in the comfort of her empty apple crate. But don't expect her to use it around humans EVER, she's trying to keep a professional appearance while not undercover, and humans have such 'undignified' reactions. 'Aaw' and 'ooh' are common responses to her rather benign meows, and as teenager, she finds it embarrassing to no end.

English > Distinguished. Unlike the uncouth Gonzalo and absent-minded Timoteo, she was more than willing to learn English and took to it as quick as a bear dashes to a full honey pot. She was singing, writing, and reading in English around them, and they followed suit in their language development, well... Gonzalo did at least, Timoteo is not quite there yet.

French > Superior. She translated a lot of the mad ramblings of 'The Whisperer' to Gonzalo and Timoteo, so much so that they soon got the gist of what he was saying before she had a chance to translate. She says that's she's moved on from her time as a henchman, but if one looks closely at her when someone speaks it, her fur is standing on end and her breathing briefly quickens.

Italian > Advanced Mid. Timoteo was tutoring her at night while Alessandra had her during the day, it was kind of embarrassing for the very much independent Perla, but she knew it would be crucial to know.

Spanish > Novice Mid. She doesn't have many people to practice with and wanting to sincerely learn was only a recent thought after a rather embarrassing introduction in Spain. All she did was stop a cat burglar from victimizing an innocent mouse and now said mouse has acquired quite an unhealthy obsession with her... and she only speaks Spanish. The mouse shows up every now and then to confess her love to the bewildered feline, something about a 'pretty voice' and a 'pretty face'. Perla would be lying if she said that one of her sole motivators for learning wasn't to decipher what the lovestruck rodent was rambling about.

🐞Sir Timoteo Montenegro III:

Cat x Distinguished. His earliest memories are of lazing his days away in a modest pet store, and now he knows nearly all domesticated animal languages there are to know. Animals sitting in display cases and kennels all day have nothing but time to talk and Timoteo had nothing to do but listen.

English x Novice? He's got simple words and phrases memorized but it's unclear if he's actually understanding what's being said or if he's just copying his brother and sister. And while this supposed mimicry isn't exactly exclusive to English, it raises more flags because he has so much trouble speaking it.

French x Intermediate Low. He's got enough basic knowledge about this language; he wasn't really paying too much attention to his 'tutor'. He did, however, take notice when a spiked flail was coming his way courtesy of 'The Whisperer' himself. He's memorized the names of French desserts like Mille-feuille, eclairs, palmiers, and whatever else Perla read to him from the hideout's lackluster library.

Italian x Distinguished. Hmph, and Alessandra says she doesn't have any favorites, she keeps this little guy close to her at all times. Maybe it's a strategical move, he is the most unassuming Diablo, but still fierce if the situation calls for it... or maybe it's because she's afraid he'll eat the contents of his own wallet and chew on the brim of his hat newly repaired hat.

Spanish x Superior. A Spanish lion of royal descent and an Italian soldier with feline features becoming friends was unexpected, but Timoteo taking that thorn out of his paw was the probably the best idea he's ever had. It took two entire kingdom's several weeks to try and heal their prince's ailment while it only took a little cat twenty seconds. Bellagamba got itself a new allied power while Timoteo got a big, no, monumental older brother and an unwitting Spanish teacher.

[moonwize]

Hello! If you're seeing this randomly, this it is a post that will be linked to a Shadow Work related post on my Main Account @daarlingdatura. If you're coming from that post heyy!! this is my side account lol. Since it's such a long breakdown I figured most people probably weren't going to want to read it- though I thought some might benefit from it. So here it is:

ACCOUNTABILITY + SHAME SHADOW WORK RANT?? 12.22.22 ©daarlingdatura

This may not always be well received by some, but in today’s age accountability can seem- overwhelming. We see even innocent mistakes get blown unfairly out of proportion. This is a deeply confusing & in some ways even validating way of doing things. Validating because, if we are hurt we are validated and others will rally behind us- validating also because the older generation's LACK thereof accountability. In fact, the older generations associate accountability with shame- and this is where the dark side of accountability can come into play. It can become a point of ego, of victimhood.

Desiring to always be correct (or in some cases an overwhelming guilt for any small mistake made), this is where we follow in the footsteps of our ancestors. We all remember what it feels like to have our tiniest mistakes highlighted and put under a microscope by our parents, peers, or teachers- meanwhile in a reversed scenario accountability is thrown to the wind. It simply never gets discussed again and YOU are in the wrong for having an issue with THEIR behavior. This is a deeply embedded cycle in most of us, and it is now playing out on a mass scale. NOW, This is not to say I think accountability culture is bad. In fact, people SHOULD be held accountable. It’s important however to do this in a way that is appropriate and well suited to each situation. Nuance is important when dealing with accountability. We tend to want to categorize things into either bad or good. This white & black thinking is detrimental to the learning process of others. When we approach others and shame them for their mistakes & dog-pile them with insults & negativity it takes away from any real lesson being learned. Instead it creates a dynamic where you are now victimizing someone- further validating their OWN lack of accountability while you act like an asshole. It can be easy to want to hop on the bandwagon- to want to join in, because it feels invigorating- your anger is validated. You can project your pain and your traumatic experiences onto this person. I believe that a struggle with accountability can often be linked to a lack of acknowledgement. When someone’s trauma has not been acknowledged- when THEY refuse to acknowledge their own trauma… it becomes a fight. A competition, the goal then is to maintain innocence & to be validated by others in some type of way- OR to invalidate others in order to feel empowered or create a power dynamic in which YOU are in control. We must look at our relationship with vulnerability. I believe that vulnerability is a large part of accountability, this is a huge reason people can struggle to apologize. It can be viewed as a weakness or create a perceived sense of inferiority. It’s important to ask yourself why accountability causes you to feel inferior- why it brings shame, guilt, anger, regret, avoidance, etc… This links all the way back to the way that we can be so hard on ourselves. Feel like the smallest mistakes are our biggest failures, and forget that mistakes pave the pathway to success. We all act like an asshole sometimes, we all get shit wrong sometimes. By accounting from and LEARNING from those experiences we can give ourselves the opportunity to grow as a person and continue climbing the ladder of success. We cannot repeat the same cycle of the older generation, nor can we allow a mirrored overly judgmental approach that lacks in self awareness become the way we handle these things. In order to truly heal from the shame brought upon us by the older generations we must give each other the space to learn and heal. That is not to say we should compromise our boundaries for those who harm us. That is not to say that we cannot be angry, or feel negatively towards those who abuse us. Etc... 



[angeldcgs]

she had no real reason to be, but up until she'd moved into the apartment complex and began to actually get to know him as a person, birdie had been somewhat scared of elton. it wasn't exactly like he was the most approachable guy— in all the years they'd gone to school together, she'd never once considered befriending him. what would they even talk about? her pageantry aspirations? contouring? there was no point in trying to go out of her way to show him kindness when he probably wouldn't have even wanted it from her, anyway. once she finally did put aside her assumptions and give him the benefit of the doubt, she did feel a bit foolish for being so sure they'd have nothing to connect over, because she found that she enjoyed listening to him talk about his interests, even if she had no idea what he was talking about. he was a lot more open than she'd thought, returning the favor and at least trying to pay attention as she told him about the drama between her coworkers or went off on a tangent about how she'd spent fifteen minutes trying to decide which pair of shoes went best with her outfit. she had yet to admit she'd been wrong directly to his face, up until she found herself confronted with all the sins of her past, forcing her to accept that there might've been some more negative traits still lingering within her, considering what she'd said about him to her friends not so long ago. in offering him the chance to see her body, birdie thought she was doing something good. apologies could only stretch so far, and it's not like there was anything better she could offer him. his attraction was obvious, and while it had made her mostly uneasy at first, over time it had come to feel sort of exciting, sending a spark through her every time she happened to catch his eyes wandering. she could claim the offer was for his benefit, but there was a twisted, deeply repressed part of her that was desperate to be seen by him, an exhibitionist ready to bare herself for the pure titillation of being lusted over. nearly as soon as the words had left her mouth, she regretted it, realizing the deeply vulnerable position she'd put herself in, setting herself up to be ripped to shreds if elton so chose to, and though his response wasn't exactly a vicious rejection, it still caused a cold lump of dread to settle in the pit of her stomach. "i-i..." cheeks a bright pink, she looked as though she'd just been slapped, taking another stumbling step back as she began to shrink in on herself once again. almost immediately, a fresh crop of tears had welled up at her waterline, her prominent top front teeth just barely visible as her lower lip resumed its quivering. "nothing! i— i-i'm sorry..." she couldn't even look at him, her eyes cast down to her baby blue toenails, each accusatory jab cutting her down bit by bit until she didn't know how there was any bit of her left standing before him. suddenly filled with a sort of shame she'd never felt regarding her body, birdie attempted to conceal herself by tugging her little cardigan closed, though she still felt as though his judgment had stripped her bare, and she had no solace from his ridicule. "n-no... i dunno," she stammered, her voice barely audible amongst her sniffles. more than anything, she was embarrassed at having ever believed they could've been friends when she brought nothing of value to his life. what could she give him that he couldn't get from searching a few keywords on pornhub? he'd phrased it as an accusation she was meant to rebuff, but deep down, birdie truly did believe her body was all she was worth. "i'm sorry elton, i-i—" she had to press a hand over her mouth to muffle a particularly deep sob, briefly glancing back up at him and feeling another punch to the gut from just how angry he looked. "i'm sorry, i didn't... i don't know how t-t... i thought you... yo-ou wanted t-to."

he might not have been the perfect guy, clearly flawed and with a self-entitlement he felt was earned from his years of enduring torture, elton didn't want birdie to suffer because of him. it was one thing to want her to make up for her previous actions, however, as good as it might have made him feel to seek revenge it wasn't her whom he was truly angry with. her biggest crime had always been inaction, it was only once she'd tiptoed away from that quietness and instead began to incriminate him further in the minds of her peers that he'd considered her a true culprit. his feelings for her had always gotten in the way, they'd made him soft and forgiving but if he kept up that behaviour would she return back to her sneaky ways? she had to be taught that there were repercussions to her actions, that while her popularity and looks had saved her from any sort of ridicule in the past, they couldn't save her from guilt and shame. unlike her prissy friends, elton knew that she was a good person, or as good of a person as someone with her kind of privilege could be but what worth was he allocating to himself if he let her leave freely, absolved of any responsibility, what was that saying about how much he'd come to respect yourself? he flicked through various ideas to what he could make her do in the brief moments they stood there in silence, wondering to himself what he would be able to get away with considering her highly emotional state but before he had the chance to even debate the morality of the situation, birdie had taken things into her own hands. elton's eyes followed hers down to her plump chest without realising what he was doing, only looking away when she did at which point, he was met with an offer that nearly knocked all the air out of his lungs. "what are you-" it was the sort of thing he would have eventually thought of but felt too awkward to suggest but the fact she thought that was the sort of thing he'd want, like he really was the pervert everyone had made him out to be, it made him suddenly warm with frustration. "why are you- what's wrong with you?" embarrassment flooded his features but he quickly tried to disguise it with anger, as though he was shocked at her sheer audacity to suggest such a thing. she didn't need to know he was mere seconds from landing on the idea himself, he was more than content in keeping up his attempt at playing innocent even though he was anything but. "is that what you think you're worth? you think you can get out of anything by flashing your tits?" his eyes darted down again, as they had so many times before, proving that she wasn't offering something he didn't want despite him performing disgust. elton quickly shook his head and took the initiative to take a step or two back from birdie. it was almost funny how quickly she'd been willing to expose to herself to him under the right circumstances when she'd joked about his googling to her friends, it made him wonder if there was part of her that secretly liked his attention. everyone had been so willing to call him a perv and a freak without any evidence and yet they had someone much worse right in their midst. was she aware of how ironic the whole situation was? "why would that fix anything? how- has this worked on other people? you should be embarrassed, i thought you were better than that." his voice was tight with venom, yet below that heat lay something sweeter, a strange excitement about finally having power over someone weak enough to take his cruelty without rebuttal.

[twjournals]

What's Wrong is Right

This is the sequel to So Wrong It's Right.

The finale: The Right Place

Warning: dark!Peter Parker x reader, age gap BUT BOTH CHARACTERS ARE OF AGE, DUB-NON, pregnancy, mentions of abortion

PLEASE READ MY WARNING BEFORE CONTINUING. I am not responsible for your media consumption. Any and ALL negativity will be blocked. The majority of my content is 18+.

Word Count: 7k

Summary: You’re an old troubled friend of May’s. Your life consists of being a workaholic, a party animal, and bringing home the shittest of guys for a one-hit-wonder. Just when you get your life in order, you’re knocked right back into your old habits. Peter has watched you suffer long enough. He can make it all better.

Taglist: @discoverwhattheworldhastooffer

Things could not have felt any better than they did right now. You were still sound asleep beside him on the bed. You were so peaceful when you sleep, so perfect. Even with your hair a mess and what was left of your make-up on your face Peter still thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world.

As much as he could sleep, he did not want to miss a second of you. He longed to touch you again, to kiss you awake and go another round or two. He could stay the whole day in bed with you if you would let him. The thought of you coming undone underneath him replayed in his mind and his cock twitched in response. He needed to calm himself down, but that felt nearly impossible around you. The only thing stopping him was the fact he knew you needed the rest.

Peter laid on his side, taking in the sight of you. He could not understand how guys would use you the way they do, how they could hurt you and be okay with it. He could not understand the type of guys you went after either. They were all the same. It was almost like you were signing yourself up to get hurt. Peter just wanted to take all that pain away. He wanted to be the guy you needed. He was the guy you needed.

He let a sigh before pressing a warm kiss to your head. Sleep had finally won the battle. He let his eyes fall shut as his arms held your sleeping figure close. If only he could fall asleep like this every night.

When you awoke, the sun was shining bright the small cracks in your blinds, and seemed even brighter than usual considering your hangover. You rub your head as it ached. If there was one thing you did not miss about drinking, it was this.

You froze still when you felt the grasp around your body grow a little snugger. You were scared to see who was in bed with you. You tried to think for a moment, thinking back to last night. It was such a faint memory, a blur. Could it have been your ex? There was no way. Even drunk, you would not have fallen into that trap. You peaked over your shoulder, instant regrets washing over you. What had you done? You were in fact naked so there was no doubt what you had done last night.

May was going to kill you.

Your phone buzzed on the nightstand beside you as if on queue and you glanced over at it. Oh my god, May! You were dead. Your heart was beating so hard it could have beat out of your chest. You were panicking. You carefully eased out of Peter's grasp to keep from waking him, resting his arm back on the bed. You grabbed a big shirt you had still laying on your floor and a pair of underwear from your dresser before hurrying out the door, closing it behind you.

You tugged your shirt in a hurry before you answered it on the final ring. "Hello?" You tried to play it cool, holding your phone against your ear with your shoulder as you pulled your panties up your legs.

"Good morning sunshine. How are you feeling?" She greeted you.

You started down the hallway to the kitchen. You would feel the aching of your core with every step you took. "Tired." You admitted, moving behind the counter to start a pot of coffee.

"I bet. You needed last night though with everything going on." You bit your bottom lip.

You could not agree more, but you wondered to yourself just much of it as actually needed. You leaned against the counter, watching the drip of the coffee as it filled the pot. "You're not wrong."

She laughed slightly. "I'm just glad Peter could take you home. I always get nervous when you go home with random strangers." Your teeth sunk further into your bottom lip. "Speaking of Peter, do you know where he is?" Your heart was beating so out of control, you were surprised it wasn’t a heart attack in the making. The thought of losing May as your friend after these years, especially over something as big as this, it pained you.

You had to think and think fast. "I think he mentioned something about going to Ned's. I’m not entirely sure though.” You reached into the cupboard to retrieve a mug. "He probably stayed the night." You lied, trying to control your breathing as you poured yourself a cup of coffee. You prayed to yourself in hopes that your lie would be enough. Or what if she already knew Peter was still at your apartment? No, no, she could not have, not sounding this collected.

"I should have guessed that. I'll try to call him again later." She sighed. "I just worry about him sometimes."

"I'm sure he's fine. He's not a kid anymore, May." You reminded her, though a part of you felt like it was a reminder to you as well. If he had not have been who he was, maybe this all would have been a different situation but not when your friendship was on the line.

"I know, I know. It's just the Aunt in me I suppose"

You mixed in your cream and sugar and stirred. "It's Peter and Ned we're talking about, May. They were probably up playing video games all night."

"You're right." She finally admitted. "Well, I'm sorry for waking you. I just wanted to check on you."

"No worries. Let me know when you hear from him." She agreed before you ended the phone call with a goodbye.

You finally let out a deep breath of air. It felt like you had been holding it the entire time you were on the phone. It would not have surprised you if you had. You did not know where to start or how to make it all make sense. Maybe that was because none of this made sense. Peter could not be anymore more than a friend, especially when he was your best friend's nephew.

How had this even got this far? You had never thought of Peter like this and yet you ended up in bed with him. You held the mug, letting it warm your hands as you stared down at your coffee in thought. Peter had been nothing but good to you, but this had been more than you could have asked for. There was a hole in your heart from another man and you had pushed yourself on Peter last night to try and heal it. That’s what you had made yourself believe. You took had taken advantage of his kindness, took things too far and now you had to get things back in one piece.

This was nothing like the hookups you had in the past. This was Peter. It was not like you would never see him around again. It was not like you could just throw him out and be done with it.

You jumped instantly when Peter's voice pulled you from your thoughts. You pushed yourself off of the counter, taking in the sight of him as he moved across the kitchen over to you.

“Good morning.” He smiled and you glanced at his messy hair sticking up in different directions. It was the perfect mix of bed head and sex hair.

“Hi.” You said shyly. How would you break the news to him? God, how could you get yourself in this situation?

“I was looking forward to waking up to you.” He moved over to you, his arms wrapping around your waist as if this were all normal and pressing a kiss to your jaw. Your eyes met his curiously. What was he thinking this was?

“Peter, I think- I think we need to talk.”

Your breathing was shuttered as he held onto your waist, nudging his nose against your neck.

“Oh? What about?” He looks down at you.

Your free hand was pressed against his chest with a sigh. “Did you want some coffee?” You offered.

His eyes lingered on you for a moment as if he was trying to figure out what you were thinking before letting go of your waist. “No, thank you. Is everything okay?” He tilted his head slightly. You seemed nervous.

You took a hold of his hand, placing your mug down on the counter before leading him into the living room. You brought him over to the couch, sitting down. “So last night… can you tell me what happened? I know we had, ya know, but how?”

His face grew pink with a slight blush. “How?” He repeated your question.

“I mean, did I make you? I know I can be a bit much when I drink.”

“What? No.” He shook his head. “I mean it surprised me, but of course, I wanted you. I’ve always wanted you.”

You grew quiet, trying to process what he was saying. You sighed. "Peter, I-" I tried to gather your thoughts together. "It should have never happened and I'm sorry that it did."

Peter's eyes grew wide as he tried to take in what you were saying, but he could not bring himself around to believe you.

"No. You don't mean that." He shook his head.

You frowned. "I do mean that."

He shook his head again. "You don't. You told me I was good to you. You even said before you hope you meet someone even half amazing as me."

"Peter-"

"You kissed me! How can you say this should have never happened?"

You run your fingers through your knotted hair and pushing it back out of your face with a sigh. "Peter, I was drunk. I wasn't thinking clearly."

"Drunk words are sober thoughts. Even if you hadn't meant to say it, I know you have been thinking about it." He frowned, taking a hold of your chin and tilting your head to look at him. "Why can't you let just accept how you feel? You deserve to be happy."

You turned your head out of his grasp. "That's just it, Peter. I don't know what I'm feeling about anything. I just had my heart broken a week ago by a guy who I thought was my soulmate. I wasn't ready for any of this to happen. I'm sorry I kissed you and confused you."

He could not believe you were saying this. You could not mean this. Not after last night. Not after the word you clung to him. Not after everything you said. It hurt his feelings. He opened his mouth to say something, but the words would not come. He was not sure what to say. He did not want to overstep, but he could not understand how you could easily fall for assholes like Chris and never a good guy like him.

"You are good to me." You admit. "You have taken good care of me in the past, but we can't be anything more than friends. We can't do this again. I feel like I have overstepped a line with May. She wouldn't want this."

"It's not about what she wants." He snaps. "I can make my decisions for myself now. I'm not a kid anymore, Y/N."

"Peter, you will always be a kid to me. You can do so much better than me. Someone closer to your age. Someone who has their life together. You are such a great guy. I know you will make some girl very happy." You smiled reassuringly, though to him none of this was reassuring.

There was no "better than you", even when he was committed to you. He tried to understand that feeling was new to you considering you always felt in competition with other girls. Truth be told, no one came close to comparing to you in his eyes. He wished he could make you see that, make you understand just how much you really meant to him.

He could feel his phone vibrating again and he sighed, standing up from the couch. He knew it was May. "I should go before Happy sends out a search party."

You stared up at him, nodding slightly. "I understand."

He threw his hand up in an awkward wave before making his way to the door.

You stood up from the couch, hugging yourself. "Hey, Peter?"

He stopped at the door, holding it open and looking over his shoulder at you.

"I don't want this to ruin our friendship." It could never. You just needed time, he thought to himself.

"It won't." He smiled at you. "I promise."

---

Even though you did not want it to affect your friendship with Peter, you both knew that it had, for better or for worse. You did not see much of Peter after he left your apartment that day, even when you would go see May, the house was already quiet. Neither of you had mentioned a word to May. Peter was always out or on his way out when you showed up. You would only really had time for a quick "hey" before he was on his way. You figured college had him pretty busy for the most part, or Ned, maybe even a girl.

He had properly busied him in hopes to give you space. In hopes, you would realize things on your own and do the right thing. He may have been between college and keeping an eye on the neighborhood, but he never strayed far from you. He never failed to keep an eye out on you. Peter knew how much you needed him, but it was your turn to realize that for yourself.

Peter wasn't the only one keeping himself busy. After some time you had taken off, you finally had gone back to work. In a way, you were glad you had because it kept you distracted. You had decided it was time to focus on yourself.

You had stopped drinking since the night at the club after realizing the trouble it putting you in and the pain it was actually causing you. Drinking did not stop the heartbreak. It might have slowed it down, but when you were sober again, the ache was still there. Drinking kept you from dealing with it. As much as you wished you did not have to, you knew it was the only way for you to move on.

It had been a month since you split with Chris. Thankfully, you were starting to get back in the groove of things fairly quickly.

You sat at your desk, typing away on your computer when your phone buzzed on your desk. You did not look away from your work until a knock on the window of your office door caught your attention.

Your eyes widened at the sight of Chris on the other side. He lifted his phone, mouthing for you to check it.

You lifted your phone over to check, reading the text from him.

Can we talk?

You blinked, glancing at him before turning back to your computer to keep working.

Your phone buzzed again.

Please.

You looked up at him again. He had his hands together in a plead while he mouthed "please". You sighed, getting up from your desk to answer the door. You pulled the door open and he smiled slightly though you had not attempted to return it.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but I am working." You blunted pointed out.

"I know. I'm sorry for bothering you. I just knew you wouldn't answer my messages. That's the only reason I'm here. I feel like I've had a lot of time to think and I want to talk to you about things."

"Once again, I'm at work." You reminded him.

"When is your lunch then?" He questioned.

You held onto the door. "I don't think I'm gonna take one. I have a lot I need to get done."

He sighed, looking down at you. "Come on. I know you've gotta be hungry." He glanced at his phone to check the time. "Don't you usually take your lunch around this time?"

You tried to stand your ground even though your stomach growled in hunger. You hated when he was right. You hated to give him anything he wanted after how he did you. It amazed you he had remembered what time you took your lunch. Maybe he did pay attention to you after all.

"I'll pay." He insisted. You sighed.

"Fine. Let me get my bag."

You had agreed on a sandwich shop just down the street. You were not in the mood for anything big. You settled down at a table by the window with a wrap and iced water. You took a bite of your wrap, staring out the window at all the traffic on the road.

He was the first to break the silence. "How have you been?"

"Fine. You?" You continued eating, taking another bite.

He had yet to touch his own food. "I've been alright. Can I say something or do you think I am wasting my time?"

"Depends."

"Can you hear me out? Just this once, that’s all I ask."

You sighed, finally agreeing to listen since he had after all bought you food. You sat the rest of your wrap down washing it down with some water while listening.

He sat in silence for a moment to gather his thoughts, trying to figure out where he should start. “I’m sorry for what I did to you and for how I treated you. Nothing I say is gonna take back what I did, but I do regret it all. I know I said some ugly stuff at the club that day. Once again, I know I can’t justify it but I had been drinking and I was coping with losing you. I get that I ruined things. I messed up and you have every right to be mad at me. I was selfish and I never took your feelings into consideration. I didn't think to help you with the wedding because I thought of it as your big day. When it should have been our big day." He leaned against the table, crossing his arms. You pulled your gaze from the window, looking at him for a moment before looking down at your lap. "I missed how spontaneous we use to be. Every day was a surprise. You amazed me every day, but we fell into a routine and I was worried about marriage might be like that." It shocked you that he was even apologizing right now.

"You were so calm when you did it though. Like it was okay for me to see that like you wanted to hurt me." You broke your silence, your eyes finding his and he frowned.

He exhaled a deep breath. "I didn't wanna hurt you. I guess I had convinced myself I had done nothing wrong, but I realize now how bad of a thing I did."

"You could have just talked to me about this before you went and made me feel like I couldn't be enough. We could have put the wedding on hold and fixed this. Sometimes I get carried away with things. I just- I wanted everything to be perfect. I didn't know what you wanted and so I was working twice as hard to get everything to be how I thought you might like it." You wrapped your wrap back up when you lost your appetite. "I think the realization of everything hurt more than walking in on you. Realizing how much I was doing and how little you did-"

"I know and I want to fix that. I want to do more for you and for us. I want to prove to you I can change. We've invested so many years in this. I don't want to throw it all away. I didn't realize how much I needed you until I didn't have you." He reached across the table, taking a hold of your hand and he rubbed his thumb across the back of your hand. It surprised him how didn't pull your hand away and that's how he knew he might have convinced you. He might have a shot again. "If you really are through with me, I do not blame you. I deserve that. Just tell me when and I'll come to get my stuff."

You sat in silence for a moment, thinking to yourself. You were not sure what to say. You never thought he would get this far with his apology. You did not expect him to apologize considering he seemed pretty pleased with himself.

"I don't know what to say right now." You mumbled, looking down at his hand holding onto yours.

He held your smaller hand in between his. "You don't have to say anything. Just think about it. I respect whatever you decide. I just want to know if I have really lost you for good."

"I don't know." You finally admitted, biting your bottom lip slightly and gently taking your hand back from his hold. "I need time."

"Take all the time you need." He ensured.

"We'll see." You glanced at your phone, checking the time. "Thank you for lunch, but I should really be headed back."

He nodded his head, gathering his still wrapped sandwich and drink as you both get up from the table. "I'll walk you back."

--

The rest of your workday felt like a waste considering you could not focus on anything. You did not get done much of anything you had planned to get done. Why did guys have to make things so complicated? If he had just communicated about it before, maybe you would still be together.

You tried to focus on the computer screen in front of you, letting your fingers hover over the keyboard. Focus, Y/n.

You knew you should not want him back. You did not owe him a thing. You knew there would always be the risk he had not actually changed, but he was all you knew. You grew to him. Your life had changed for your future with him. You had been so wrapped up in the wedding, you had not been paying attention to him. But then again, if he had helped, participated in his own wedding plans then so much would not have been on you.

You rubbed your temple, saving your progress and shutting off the computer screen. You were just gonna call it a night. You had a girls' night planned with May and you did not want this to get in the way of your friendship with May again.

You reached into your pocket to collect yourself, shooting May a quick text.

We're still on for tonight, right?

You gathered your papers off of your desk, shuffling them up neatly before pulling them back in its folder and putting them in the drawer of your desk.

Don't be late.

You smiled at her message before pulling open the door to your office.

You had kept your word to May and showed at a decent time. She was setting up for movie night when you arrived. She tsked when she saw how overdressed you were.

"If I had stopped for a change of clothes, I would have been late." You reminded her with a laugh as she entered the living room again with a bottle of wine and a bowl of popcorn. She placed them on the coffee table in front of her.

"You're welcome to grab some clothes of mine." She offered as she sat down on the couch, tucking her legs underneath her and covering herself with a blanket.

You had already stripped yourself from your blazer as you walked down the hallway to May's room. You grabbed a pair of shorts and a shirt from her dresser before going to the bathroom to change out of your pencil skirt and blouse.

You stared at yourself in the mirror as you changed the set of clothes. Your eyes were glued to your stomach, noticing how bloated you looked and frowning slightly. You knew your period would be any day now, but usually, you did not bloat this bad. Your clothes had seemed a little snug today. You shook the thought as you fold your clothes and set them up on the bathroom counter. Your head spinning from everything going. Just when you had thought things were calm, it picked right back up. You left the bathroom, walking towards the living room where May was.

"Hey, Aunt Ma-" Peter called out as he came out of his bedroom, knocking into you in the process. He quickly grabbed a hold of your waist to keep you falling. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" He started to rumble.

"It's fine. I'm okay." You laughed quietly, making him smile suddenly when his eyes finally met yours. "You wouldn't happen to be avoiding me, would you?" You tease. You understand even if he was, but you had hoped that he was not avoiding you. You did not want to be the reason driving him out of his own home.

He blushed slightly. "Just giving you some space." He told the truth. You hadn't realized how close you two still were.

"I don't need space, Peter. We're okay." Your eyes flickered across his face for a moment, biting down on your bottom lip when you noticed how close he was still holding you. "Peter-"

"Y/n, are you coming? The movie is about to start!" May called out from her spot on the couch. She had already poured you both a glass of wine.

"Did you want to join us?" You question absentmindedly. He smiled at your words. Maybe you were coming around after all.

"I might later. I have some work I need to finish up." He answered, letting go of his grasp on your waist. You nodded before giving him one last look and continuing down the hallway back to May.

You were halfway through the movie when you turned to May, snacking on a few pieces of popcorn from the bowl that sat between the two of you. "So the weirdest thing happened at work today." You started, pulling her attention from the movie. "Chris showed up."

May turned down the movie a little in order to hear you better. Her eyes were slightly wide and you laughed a little at her reaction. "That was my reaction as well." You pointed out.

"Well? What happened? What did he say?" She encouraged you to continue.

Peter had just come out of his room just in time to get a snack along with something to drink. He had been finishing an assignment. He took his earbuds out one by one, hearing you in the living room as he walked through the kitchen.

"Well, he took me to lunch, and basically he apologized for everything. He wants a second chance."

Peter's eyes grew wide, listening to you talk. You did not have to say his name to know who you were talking about. He peaked in the living room at you and Aunt May on the couch, leaning against the wall as he listened in.

"And?"

You shrugged.

"I'm surprised you even let him take you out." May pointed out as she took a sip of her wine.

"Honestly, it surprised me too but I was hungry and he offered to pay so I gave in." You rubbed your arm slightly as you leaned back on the couch.

"So what's the plan?"

You looked over at May, raising an eyebrow curiously. "Plan?"

"Well I mean, what did you say to him?"

You got quiet for a moment. Peter felt as if he was holding his breath just to make sure he heard your answer correctly.

"I told him I would think about it."

May seemed surprised by your answer. Peter, on the other hand, was less than pleased.

"He's all I know. I'm comfortable with him. I don't know how to start over and at this point, it seems pointless." You explained as you picked at the blanket over your lap. "He said he didn't wanna give up when we have invested so much time and that he was willing to prove himself."

"Maybe he needed this. Ya know, like a reality check." May suggested and you nodded your head.

Peter could not believe you were going back. You were giving up. After everything he put through, everything he said, and how worthless he had you feel, you were going back. Had you not learned anything? His fists clenched at his side, trying to keep himself calm. He could not listen to another second of this.

He stormed past you and May. "Hey, Pete-" May started, but Peter swiftly interrupted her.

"I'm going out. Don't wait up." He mumbled. Your heart skipped, realizing that Peter had heard everything. You were so sure he had been in his room. He glanced at you before pulling the door closed harder than usual, making the both of you jump. You frowned, looking down.

--

Peter sat on top of a roof, leaning against a brick wall as he looked down over the city. He did not know what else he could do to prove himself to you. He finally had his chance and you only pushed him away. Chris had years to prove himself and he had. He made his intentions pretty clear, but even that wasn't enough to steer you away.

He was convinced you were scared to be happy. Scared to find that happiness with him when his Aunt was your best friend. Sure you were a little older, but none of that mattered to him. You were the only girl who could ever make him feel the way he did. It could not just be him feeling this way.

The streets were not as busy due to it being so late. Peter closed his eyes with a sigh from the built-up frustration, letting his leg hang over the side of the building. You were so stubborn.

His eyes snapped open at the roar of laughter beneath him. He glanced at the group of men before quickly having to do a double-take when he realized who it was.

"Come on, Chris. Admit it, you have Y/n wrapped your finger." The men shared a laugh, giving Chris's shoulder a playful push.

"Not like I use to, but I know she'll take me back." He chuckled. "She's waited long enough for that ring. She's not gonna give up now."

"You really think you're ready for marriage? What about the other girl?"

"Guess we'll see about that," Chris smirked and Peter's nose flared in anger. "Women like Y/n just need a ring and they're content. Besides, she's the perfect little housewife."

Peter tried to restrain him, but he could only hold himself back so much. He shot a web at Chris which hitting him over the mouth, sending him and his group in a panic trying to pull it off of his face with no luck.

"Dick." He muttered, shooting a web at another building and pulling himself onto the next building. He had enough. Chris didn't deserve someone like you. You deserved someone to take care of you, to cherish you, not just the other way around.

--

You stared down at the test in your hand. You never expected to find yourself here this soon. It was not long after Peter stormed out that you decided you should go home. You were upset with yourself and with everything going on. This was just the icing on the cake. You mindlessly walked by the calendar in the kitchen on your way to the bedroom, counting the days since your last period. You were late and at this point in your life, you could not ignore it.

The positive plus sign stared back at you and your eyes watered. You had not had sex with Chris in months so you knew it was Peter's. You covered your mouth, letting out a sob into your hand. This was not how you pictured yourself getting pregnant. This was not where you wanted to be in life when you planned on getting pregnant. You were barely making it taking care of yourself. You could not take care of a baby too.

Your body shook as you cried at the foot of your bed. You knew with the baby being Peter's, Chris would never want to be with you. Peter was just starting his life, barely even out of college along with being the Amazing Spiderman. You could not interfere with a baby.

A knock on your bedroom window startled you, making you drop the test. You looked the window to find Spiderman kneeled down on your fire escape, motioning for you to let him in.

You wiped your face of your tears and walked over to the window, unlocking it before pushing it up.

"Now isn't a good time, Peter." You stated bluntly, taking in the sight of him in his suit.

"I really need to talk to you, Y/N. It's important."

"Can we not talk about this another day?"

"No, it can't wait." He slipped under your arm into your bedroom, pulling his mask from over his face. "It's about Chris."

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest. "What about him?"

"He doesn't love you, Y/n. He will never care about you like you have cared about him. He is just using him as a housewife and that's all you'll be to him. Just someone to take care of him. You deserve so much than him." Peter paced back and forth as he ranted.

You stared at him as he paced. "That's what you came here to tell me? I know you heard me talking to May. I should have known you would come up with some way to make me feel like shit for thinking about going back."

"Y/n, I didn-"

"You did! You don't get it! It's my heart that was broken. I have loved him for years. You don't understand how hard this is for me."

"I don't understand?" His mouth parted at your words. You didn't know half of it. "How do I not when I have loved you years longer than he's been in your life? Even when you loved everyone but me! You fall for assholes like him and the good guys like me go overlooked!" He exclaimed, throwing his hand up as he shifted back, his foot stepping on the test you had dropped on the floor.

He glanced down to see what he had stepped on.

Your eyes got wide, trying to get his attention. "Peter." You stepped toward him but it was too late. He stared down at the pregnancy test, wiping his thumb over the plus sign as if checking to see if it was real.

He looked up at you. "You're pregnant?"

It was too late to lie about it. It would have required too much energy to keep it going if you had, and you did not have any fight left in you.

"How far?" He simply questioned. He was so sure it was his, but he wanted to hear it from you.

"If you're asking if it's yours, I can assure you it is. I haven't slept with Chris in months. I don't know how far I am. A few weeks is my guess."

He stared at the test a little while longer, a smiling forming on his lips. "We're gonna have a baby." He smiled at the test. He couldn't help himself. This had to be the best news he had heard in his life aside from becoming an Avenger.

"No." You shook your head.

He furrowed his eyebrows, looking up at you. "What?"

You moved over to him, taking the test from him and tossing it on your dresser with a sigh. "I can't keep the baby."

He frowned at your words. "Sure you can. What do you mean?"

You shook your head again, your eyes already getting watery again. "I can't, Peter. I'm not ready to be a mom. My life is a fucking train wreck and you're just now starting yours. I can't ruin that for you."

"Ruin? No, no." His frown deepened, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his arms for comfort. "This is the best news I've heard. This could never ruin my life."

You cried against his shoulder, clenching onto his suit as he held you close in a hug. He pressed a kiss to your temple, stroking your hair down. "I'll do everything I can to keep you and our baby happy. You will never have to worry about another woman because no matter what, I will always choose you. I'll take care of you." He let his hand slide underneath your shirt, rubbing his hand over rounding stomach. "I'll take care of our baby."

You push his hand away out of your shirt, pushing yourself away from him. "I-I can't. I'm not keeping the baby. I'm gonna go to the clinic tomorrow. It'll be better this way."

Peter's mouth fell open slightly as his eyes filled with tears. "Y-You can't be serious."

"I am and nothing is going to change my mind."

"Y/n..." He reached up to cup your face, but you grabbed his wrist. "That's our baby. Don't do this."

You stared at him with tear-filled eyes, some falling down your face, but you didn't speak a word.

He was getting heated by the second. If he thought he was hurt before, he was really hurting now. He didn't understand why you wouldn't take this as your fate and run with it. Run with him. Tears fell down his cheeks. He didn't bother to wipe them, only continued to look at you. He wanted the truth.

"Why? So you can go back to him?"

"This isn't about him."

"Then what is it about, Y/n? You want to get rid of a part of both of us! Can't you see how much I care about you? I would never hurt you like him. You don't have to change yourself to please me. You will never have to worry about not being enough." He moved closer to you, cupping your face in his hands and making you look at him. "You are so perfect, just the way you are. You are more than enough for me."

You try to turn your head to look away, but he leans in, capturing you in a firm passionate kiss. You melted into his kiss, gripping onto his suit. You wanted so badly to push him away, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. You didn't want him to change your mind. You needed to do this.

He backed you up until your back of your knees hit the bed, letting you fall back on the comforter and falling with you. He supported himself above you, kissing your swollen lips softly as he wipes your face with a swipe of his thumbs.

"You are everything I have ever wanted." He mumbled against your lips, pressing warm kisses over your face and letting them trail down your neck. His hands began to push your shirt up and you quickly regained some focus, trying to catch his hands.

"Peter, we shouldn't..." He caught your hands and pushing them over your head, shooting a web against your wrists to hold them in place against the headboard. You cried as you looked up at him with frightened eyes.

"You don't have to do anything for me. Just let me show you how much I love you. Let me take care of you."

He pressed on his chest, letting his suit go limp on his body and sliding it off as he continued to work his way down your chest. He was left in his boxers. He had pressed your shirt up above your chest, kissing over your breasts and swirling his tongue over your aching nipples.

You whined at the feeling of his tongue, pulling on the webbed restraints. Your nipples were more sensitive than they had ever been before. His hands feel to the shorts you still wear of May's, pulling them down your legs with your panties.

"Peter, stop..." You tried to close your legs but Peter only held them open at the sight of your slick folds. You knew no matter how much you lied to him, your body could never lie to him. Your body only told the truth.

"I want to make you so happy." His lips brushing over your lower bloated stomach, kissing over it and mumbling against it. "You're going to make such an amazing mother."

You shook your head as you wiggled underneath his body. He pushed off his boxers before returning to his place between your legs.

He nodded even when you shook your head. "You will be."

Peter dragged the tip of his cock through your glistening folds, biting his bottom lip as your juices coated it. He let the tip of his cock push against your entrance, pushing his hips forward to slide inside of you and your head rolled back with a whimper.

You hated how much control he really had over you. You hated feeling so weak.

"Peter-" You choked a sob as your walls clenched onto his thick length. You were embarrassed how quickly your pussy pulled him back in when he would thrust.

"Oh," He groaned as his cock pushing in and out of you, hitting you in all the right places as he held your hips in his hands. "I love you. I love you so much." He mumbled against your lips as they brushed together every thrust. His breathing was staggered against them.

You could not fight the lust that clouded your mind. He knew it would take time to steer you in the right direction, but he was willing to spend all the time he needed. You knew how wrong it was to be underneath him, even if you were stuck there, that did not stop what was wrong from feeling so right.

[siren-sent-by-cupid]

Bath - Hotch

You can feel all the tension instantly leave your body as you slip into the warm water and lay your back against Hotch. A sigh of exhaustion leaves your mouth, but you don't regret it or feel weak. You and Aaron had started dating recently, you were both working at the BAU. He is a profiler, you're tech analysis with Garcia.

Even though it's still very early in your relationship, you thought to yourself that you'd happily switch departments to stay with him. A rare day off for the whole team meant a day-long date night. It's the first time you've seen each other naked outside of the bedroom, and you have to admit you were a bit nervous. What if without the guise of night, he didn't see you as beautiful as he seemed to?

You forced yourself to push these negative thoughts from your mind, and your body deeper into the water. Aaron still hasn't said anything but when you turn your head to look at him his head is laid back onto the edge of the tub and a smile plays on his lips.

The sight makes you laugh out loud. The ever-serious SSA Aaron Hotchner smiling and enjoying a bubble bath.

"What's so funny YN?" His voice isn't stern or upset, but playfully.

"Oh, it's nothing just... Nevermind." You try to keep a straight face but still, you can't help but let a giggle through.

"Come on, tell me." He tasks his hands off the side of the tub, where they were resting, and wraps them around your midsection. As he does this he brings his head up from its relaxed position and tucks his chin into the crook of your neck.

You turn your head away and cross your arms playfully. "Never in a million years."

"You've left me no choice. Just know you've brought this onto yourself." He moves his arms from around you and leans back again, but looking at him you can see a glint in his eyes and something in the way he smirks that you aren't sure you like.

You uncross your arms and half turn to look at him better. "Aaron, what are you doing?" you aren't really worried, but you ARE curious as to what he's planning. Just as you're facing him, he breaks out into a huge, mischievous grin, and attacks you with tickles and light pokes to your sides.

You immediately lose your shit and start laughing and crying "STOP IT"

"Tell me whats' so funny then!" He says, not letting up on the tickle ambush you've brought on.

"Ok, ok, fine! I yield!" You practically yell still cry laughing.

He stops the attack and lets you catch your breath for a second, laughing a little himself. A rare occurrence at the BAU, but happily often on your dates and days together.

Wiping the tears from your eyes, but now able to talk, you start "It's just that it's so strange to see 'Bossman SSA Aaron "Never Smiles" Hotchner' enjoy a bubble bath and lavender candles." You gesture to the scene around the bathroom. Candles, various soaps, and shampoos clutter the counters and shower caddy attached to the wall.

He's leaning back again. One arm on the top of the tub, the other wrapped lazily around your waist.

"I'll admit, it probably would be strange for the rest of the team to know. But it's easy to enjoy these kinds of things when I'm with such a beautiful person." He tells you as he looks around the bathroom and the candles that you pointed at.

"Yeah." You let out a breath you were unaware you were holding. He still thinks you're attractive, even without lust clouding his thoughts. "It would probably also be strange for them to see you naked."

You earn a bark of laughter from him. It still makes you happy and kind of proud when you make him laugh.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, you take a breath and say "Can I... tell you something stupid."

He only grunts in response, but you know he's listening.

"I was afraid... that you would, I don't know, think I was ugly when you saw me naked and with the lights on." You're bright red with embarrassment and hide your head in your hands. This time not turning to face him. You can feel him shift from behind you so that he's no longer laying down and he hugs you tightly from behind, returning his head to its place in the crook of your neck.

"YN, of course I still think you're beautiful. Never, ever put yourself down like that. You're amazing."

Another wave of relief passes over you and you exhale deeply. "Thank you, Hotch."

"Still calling me Hotch?"

You turn and smile at him "Force of habit."

Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

After about 15 more minutes of soaking, you're ready to leave. You and Hotch get out and dry off, changing into some warm pajamas. You fall asleep in each other's arms that night. Tired, comfortable, and content with the night. You sleep and peaceful, dreamless, and deep sleep.

[saurexhas]

Love is Blind - Part 4

Time for couple drama! Nightmare doesn’t want anything to hurt his precious little moon, but how does said moon feel about the special treatment?

PS: Make sure you go to the end to find a special surprise that I’ll be doing for this series!

******************************************************************************

Adjusting to blindness is never something you thought that you’d have to do, but it was the unfortunate reality you found yourself in. There certainly wasn’t a manual to it either, but you were managing thanks to everyone’s help. There were several days first spent on bedrest while you recovered from the initial incident, and it gave you a chance to come to terms with your fate and what your actions had brought. You still didn’t regret them though, because your sight was truly a small price to pay for Nightmare’s life.

That didn’t mean that the adjustment period was easy, and you probably would’ve succumbed to despair more than once if Nightmare hadn’t been by your bedside almost the entire time. Your bedroom was quickly turned into his temporary office, allowing him to continue his work and further his plans while offering you the reassuring touch of a tentacle that always lingered on your arm as proof of his presence.

When your partner was finally comfortable with the idea of you leaving your bed, it was… well, difficult would be putting it mildly. You never once realized just how much you relied on sight for almost everything. It took a day and a bit of you simply wandering around your room to not bump into everything, and even longer to actually be able to navigate by touch. Thankfully, nobody in the castle really cared about your appearance, so you weren’t judged by what clothes you were able to find and put on by yourself.

Your room was about the only place where you could safely be allowed to wander on your own at first. The castle was a confusing labyrinth of pathways and corridors that were already difficult to navigate. Attempts to explore the castle in the past had led to you almost getting lost in some abandoned part of the castle, so there was no way you were even going to try such now. But even the areas that were once familiar to you were now alien as you relied on sound and touch to guide you instead of the sense you so heavily relied on.

For the first while, Nightmare personally escorted you on any walks outside of your room. This was mostly to and from meals, a time where you could practically feel everyone’s eyes on the two of you. Your seat had also been moved towards the head of the table, just to the right of Nightmare. The dark god claimed that it was so that he could assist you should you need help with your meals. Killer was quick to point out how any of them could help you though, teasing that the real reason was simply to stick next to you like “an overprotective boyfriend”. According to Cross, the look on Nightmare’s face had been one of pure murder… even if everyone at the table knew that the idiot was right.

One thing that Killer also nailed was how protective your boyfriend suddenly was. Gone were the days of you having free reign over the castle. Instead, in the instances where he couldn’t personally escort you, one of the others was chosen to be your guide instead. Even as you grew more comfortable heading to the areas you often frequented, the rule didn’t let up. He’d also put a stop to any training or sparring plans you might’ve had, insisting that it was too dangerous to continue when you couldn’t see an attack coming.

While you understood that he did it out of love, that didn’t change how frustrating it was. You already couldn’t read, play cards, or even really cook, the last of the three likely being on the dark god’s ban list had there not been enough obvious difficulty to deter you. Sparring with the guys, while rough, was one of the only hobbies you had left, and you trusted that none of them would seriously hurt you. But Nightmare refused to listen to any arguments you put forward, and none of the others would entertain the idea for fear of their lord’s wrath.

So on top of learning to navigate a world of utter darkness, adapting daily chores to your new limitations, and being treated like you were fragile, you were utterly bored. And as days turned to weeks, your frustrations grew. You were used to everyone simply treating you as one of the crew, albeit one that Nightmare favoured. When you first arrived here, you had to fight for your right to remain and not be turned into dinner. The others had respected you for the most part, and if you wanted to engage in any of their usual antics, they didn’t hesitate to include you. Now though, everyone seemed intent on treating you as if you were some doll, one to be sat on a shelf and never touched. Everyone was suddenly afraid of hurting you, and you were no longer one of the crew. You were something else, above the others now that your relationship with the god of negativity had gotten out. Pyre had even stated that if Nightmare was their king, then that made you their ‘queen’ in a sense. Suddenly, you were set to be a ruler over the dark god’s future empire, and everyone’s views of you shifted because of it.

One choice, one that seemed so infallible before, had turned your whole life upside down. You expected to be injured in place of Nightmare, but not blinded. And while trying to deal with such a severe change of lifestyle, you were now being placed on a pedestal and nobody would treat you the same. Part of you wanted to take your frustrations out on the nearby wall, but that would likely only bring someone running to tend to your hand as if it were broken. No, you needed to go to the source of the problem.

While navigating the halls by yourself was more difficult than you could’ve ever guessed, it was made easier by your forethought to create a mental map through touch whenever you were being escorted about. The subtle change in the sound of your footfall let you know when you’d left the solid foundation of the hall your bedroom was on in favour of the landing for the grand staircase. Following the railing with your hand, you found where the hallway changed directions. To go downstairs would take you to the common room and the kitchens, while upstairs led to the library and Nightmare’s office. With your goal upstairs, you carefully shuffled along the steps, shoving your foot forward until it came in contact with the next. When your feet slid freely along the floor and the railing straightened out, you knew that you’d made it to the third floor where you’d find your partner.

After a bit of difficulty gathering your bearings and navigating the third floor of the castle, you came to Nightmare’s office. The door was open only a crack, enough to give others the hint to leave him be while allowing him to hear if any chaos should erupt from the lower levels. Ever so slowly, you pushed the door open, only to cringe as a painfully loud squeak of the hinges alerted your boyfriend to your presence. “MC? What are you doing up here? Whoever brought you here should know that I didn’t wish to be disturbed.”

“Oh, nobody brought me here, I came up here myself. Wasn’t that hard,” you shrugged, lying a bit at the ease of which you got here but determined to make the dark god see that you weren’t helpless. “We need to talk.”

A sigh emanated from Nightmare’s direction, and you could imagine how he was pinching the bridge of his nose as he often did when annoyed or frustrated with something. “First off, I thought I made it clear that you are to have someone escort you around the castle to minimize accidents. And secondly, can whatever conversation you want wait? I have plenty of-”

“No actually, it can’t,” you cut him off, mustering your confidence as you stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind you. “I need to talk to you now, not later.”

Being unable to read his body language was frustrating, leaving everything to your imagination with no way to know if you were interpreting things correctly. You knew that he didn’t like taking orders from anyone, not even you, leaving you to wonder if the silence was due to your demanding tone. Perhaps you should’ve worded things better, but before you could worry too much, Nightmare responded to your demanding request. “Very well, for you little moon, I will make time. Please, take a seat and share what’s on your mind.”

It took every ounce of focus you had to find one of the plush chairs on the other side of his desk, sinking down into it once you found it and being thankful that you didn’t have to fumble around too much. It wouldn’t do your argument for more independence any good if your actions showed a need for more support. “Alright…” You’d thought long and hard about how to get your point across to someone as stubborn as your partner, but now that you were here, it was almost a struggle to get your thoughts out cohesively. “I… I’m tired of everyone treating me differently ever since the incident, including you.”

“My dear, I’ve done nothing of the sort.”

“Yes you have!” Forcing a breath through your nose, your efforts to calm your temper are marginally successful as your unintentional fists relax and grip the arms of the chair. “Everyone is treating me like I’m suddenly delicate, like I’m unable to take a punch or take care of myself. True, it’s been hard to adjust to being blind, but I’ll never get better at accepting things if you all keep coddling me!”

“No one is coddling you!” Nightmare growled in return, his voice growing more agitated as he tried to argue against you. “The others are simply doing their part to ensure that you can rest and heal in comfort!”

A growl built up in your throat as well as your partner continued to deny your claims, your fingers digging into the chair to keep them in place. “That comment brings up another thing. Ever since our relationship got out, everyone’s been treating me as if they’re serving me, like I’m something special that needs to be protected.”

“That’s because you are, little moon. You are my chosen partner, and you knew from the beginning that the title would carry some weight. I am a god my dear, and the ruler of any mortal within this castle. But you’re no longer some random mortal. Now you stand beside me, equal to me in power and authority. They have merely been instructed to show you the same respect and care that they show me.”

To hear it spelled out like that, like it should’ve been obvious to you from the beginning, left a lump in your throat. Was this always what would happen to you? Were you doomed to be lonely up at the top with nobody but the god of negativity himself to be your supposed equal? “I… I-I don’t want that…” Your words came out mumbled, eyes burning as your damaged tear ducts tried and failed to produce any tears. When prompted to speak up, you were practically screaming. “I don’t want that! I don’t want to be so… so alone! You might be fine with being above them, but for the longest time, they treated me as a friend! Now, it’s as if our friendships meant nothing, whenever I reach out all I get is coldness. I want to be able to joke and play around with Killer, I want Butcher to call me names and tease me! I want Pyre to rattle on about how great he is, or to spend time reading with Dust! I want to be able to go up to Cross, hug the stupid fluffy marshmallow, and not have him feel like a freaking statue!”

Your yelling left you short of breath, your chest heaving as you calmed down from your emotional tirade. For a while, your heavy breathing was the only sound echoing in the room, shoulders eventually shuddering as tearless sobs broke from your throat. Your own arms wrapped around yourself, as if trying to keep yourself from truly falling apart. What you weren’t quite expecting though was for a pair of cool, slimy arms to join them as Nightmare hugged you as well, the god having moved around the desk while you were distracted with your own emotional turmoil.

“I’m sorry little moon,” he started, one hand gently petting your hair while a tentacle took to stroking up and down your back in a soothing manner. “I grew so used to my underlings being just that, and I never considered what your views on the matter would be. Let me make this clear though, they treat you special because you are special. No other entity in the entirety of the multiverse has made me feel an emotion as positive as love since my childhood five hundred years ago. While many of the worlds out there fear me, and even those that serve me do well to avoid angering me, you had no such hesitation my dear. As we grew closer, you grew bolder. You would speak your mind freely, even if to criticize my actions or leadership. While it was downright infuriating at first, I grew to respect your courage and tenacity, but also the fact that you accepted me for who I am and not what I once was several lifetimes ago.”

As he spoke in such a calm and soothing voice, you felt your breathing settle as you snuggled into his chest. After he paused for a bit, Nightmare’s tentacles quickly scooped you up into the air, allowing him to settle in your chair and place you on his lap. The comforting gestures continued, serving to keep you calm without the use of his abilities. “You are special MC, never forget that. But also remember that you are my partner, and I will see you treated with the same respect as I receive, nothing less.”

You couldn’t help but tense at his words, about to go off again about how that flew in the face of your wishes. But before you could reiterate the entirety of your emotional rant from before, he shushed you with a gentle finger against your lips, and you could practically hear him smiling through his voice. “Your voice is as powerful in this castle as my own, and if things are not to your liking, then let your voice be heard. They are so used to hearing my voice that those idiots assume your voice will speak the same requests… even I made that poor assumption, and for that I am sorry. If you wish for them to treat you as they always have, then you need only tell them and I can promise you that you will receive what you ask for.”

“You… you mean it?” It seemed too good to be true, but Nightmare was often true to his word with you and the other residents of the castle. Still, it felt like it was too easy to simply ask for them to treat you as if you weren’t any different.

“Little moon, I swear it upon my name that you will be treated as you wish to be in this castle.” The dark god nuzzled you a bit as he made his promise, pulling a soft giggle from you despite the dry feeling in the back of your throat. It wasn’t often that you shouted so much, and you were definitely glad that you closed the door on your way in.

Deciding to push your luck a bit, another request found its way onto your tongue. “Then… if I asked you to stop forcing me to have an escort everywhere, would you respect my wishes?”

“MC, you know that I am just doing that to protect you-”

“Night, we’re in your domain, aren’t we? You know everyone who enters and leaves, making this castle literally the safest place for me. I’m getting better at navigating without my eyes, and I really think that I’d be fine!” When he still didn’t sound convinced, muttering about potential accidents that could happen, you merely threw more options at him. “Look, I’m far from the first blind human. If you’re that worried about me bumping into something or falling down the stairs, then get me a… blind person stick? Cane? Or a seeing-eye dog! One that Butcher would definitely not eat!”

“Is… this your way of asking for a dog?”

“Not my intention, but I certainly wouldn’t complain if you did actually get me one that can help me.” Reaching up, you cupped his cheek with your hand, thumb rubbing just under his good eye. “I’ll never have the same freedom as I did Night, but I know that I can learn to live with the consequences of my actions. And don’t you dare blame yourself for what I decided was a good idea in the spur of the moment.” Even now knowing the consequences of your choice, you’d still make the same call a hundred times over again, enduring the pain each time, if it meant that you didn’t have to see the one you loved suffer.

The god of negativity must have felt your conviction, because he didn’t try to talk you out of it or turn the blame around to be on himself. Instead, he merely sighed as one hand came to hold the one on his face, pulling it away to place a skeletal ‘kiss’ against your palm. “Very well, it seems that you’ve convinced me. I seem to have chosen quite the precocious human as my mate, you seem to be naturally born for commanding and convincing others. From now on, you are free to roam the castle by yourself, on two conditions. The first is that we give you a means of contacting me directly, should you find yourself lost or injured alone. The second is that you will still accept an escort for any trips outside of the castle, no matter your past familiarity with whatever world. Do we have a deal?”

Honestly, Nightmare’s requests were completely fair and reasonable. While you did have your phone, it was still extremely difficult to navigate it, and you likely wouldn’t be able to use it reliably in an emergency. If your boyfriend had an alternative method, then it would be good to have the freedom to go wherever, but with the safety net of knowing that someone will come if you need them to. And as embarrassing as an escort might be outside of the castle, it was still smart. It took you quite a bit of time and practice to navigate the castle on your own, despite your past familiarity with it, and a new space would require such with the aid of someone who could see. There was also the fact that, now that your relationship was public, it was only a matter of time before one of the idiots that you called your friends would let word get out. Then, you’d have a target on your back, a weak spot to be used against Nightmare. It was honestly for the best if you didn’t leave the castle alone anymore, not with several capable fighters that could protect you. “Those requests both seem quite reasonable to me, so I accept.”

“Good, I am glad that you can see I only want what is best for you, my dear. Keeping you safe is just as important to me as my goals.” After a moment more of cuddles, he eventually set you back into your chair alone, his footfalls indicating that he was going back to his own behind his desk. “I’ll see to the creation of a totem of sorts, one made of my own magic. It will allow you to contact me and call me to your side, no matter where you are. Between this, and my assurance that you will be treated as you wish to be, have I dealt with the issue you came to speak to me about?”

“Mhm, I honestly feel a lot better too, so thanks. I can’t see it, but I’m sure you’ve got plenty of work to get done. I’ll leave you be so that you can get it finished.” When he didn’t try to stop you, you got up from your seat and wandered back towards the door. Just as you opened it though to step back outside, you turned back and sent him a wide smile. “Thank you for being so understanding and accepting Night, I really appreciate it.”

“I can tell,” he chuckled as the sound of pen scribbling on paper echoed through the otherwise quiet room. “You go enjoy yourself my dear, I shall speak with you again at dinner.” With his dismissal, you left the door in the same barely open position that you originally found it in before heading back to the stairs. It was about time for you to do what Nightmare told you to do and make your voice be heard. Then maybe your friends would go back to how they used to be and stop treating you differently.

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Alright, so if you didn’t read my post earlier this week about getting you readers involved, you can read it here because I’m not repeating myself. (aka I’m lazy XD)

And since nobody commented on that post, it made it pretty clear to me that relying on Tumblr comments isn’t a good idea and that I should go with a poll website. So... here ya go!

https://strawpoll.com/634w9bq42

In the next part, Nightmare will be away running important errands, so MC will have to find some way to entertain themselves! Where they go is up to you, as are the result benefits from your choices. I’ll be looking forward to seeing what you all choose!

First | < Prev | Part 4 (Here) | Next >

[nevergonnasimpyoumikey]

I finally finished this ficlet after like two years, and all it took was one anon showing interest in it. Readers, you will never know how important you guys are.

That being said, when I started writing and editing it I wanted to completely switch the POV and so this became more about Amanda and Townley family angst, which is actually good because I still know nothingggggggg about football and I live for the bittersweetness of them.

***

When her husband came home after spending almost two weeks on a job, Amanda couldn’t help hating him just a bit.

He looked well-rested, which immediately made her jealous, but it also meant the job had at least gone well. If it hadn’t, he wouldn’t be scooping Jimmy up from the playmat with such ease and a big grin. He was much more subdued when they didn’t make much, as if he was holding back all emotions just in case he’d let out anything negative. 

But now he didn’t even greet her first, and fine, she realized she wasn’t exactly appealing in her dirty t-shirt and unwashed hair, or easily approachable with her arms crossed over her chest, and it was good to see Michael being so close with Jimmy, but she still would have liked some indication that Michael had missed her as much as she had missed him. 

“Hey, little guy,” he laughed, and the boy tried to grab his nose and hair excitedly. Michael didn’t evade the tiny hands, only closed his eyes to protect them from being poked. “Where’s your sister?”

“Taking a nap,” Amanda answered flatly, and then — even though she could have stayed quiet to maintain peace — continued, “You know what she asked last night?

“What?” 

“Why isn’t daddy here.”

Michael opened his eyes, looking at her, more serious now, as he lowered Jimmy a bit on his arms. “What did you tell her?” 

Amanda huffed a bit defeatedly. “That sometimes adults have to go far away for work. And that you’d be back soon.”

He was quiet but at least met her gaze; there was a flash of something dark in them, but it was gone before she could probably read it. “That was a good answer,” he eventually said amicably enough.

She knew it was. She was the one doing all the actual parenting here. Anger brought a few tears into her eyes, but she quickly batted them away. She never wanted to fight or cry in front of the kids. She just wanted her husband back. “Do you really think you can have it both? Us and the life?” she whispered. 

Michael looked regretful, taking a step closer, and she tensed up. Here would come the sweet talk and the excuses. “Baby, don’t cry. I’ll quit when I have enough to support you all. It’s not like I enjoy being away from you and the kids. I have to do this.”

She knew it would be a long, long time before Michael would think they had enough. Sometimes she thought that maybe he would never stop, that she would be stuck in this trailer taking care of the kids alone until they moved out. 

She stepped back and shook her head to let him know he wasn’t welcome near her, not right now. “I’ll go take a shower,” she announced to get away, and Michael didn’t tell her to stay and talk it out. Both already knew they would fight at night when the kids were sleeping. 

Through the sound of the water, she heard Tracey waking up and squealing excitedly when she realized Michael was home, although she couldn’t quite make out what they were talking about. She shut the voices out and decided to take some time for herself for this once. Michael could manage for an hour or so after what she did for the family every day. She washed her hair thoroughly and slowly, massaging the scalp to relax; she shaved for the first time in weeks, filed her nails and trimmed the toenails, put on creams and lotions, dried her hair and styled it nicely, and when she was done, she felt more like herself again instead of just a mom, even though that thought made her feel bad because she liked being a mom. It was just hard not to lose herself in the role.

When she joined her family, dressed in clean, comfortable clothes, she had to pause for a bit to take it in. 

Michael was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, holding Jimmy, while Tracey was sprawled on it. There was a football match playing on the television, and even though Tracey didn’t seem terribly interested in it, she still listened much more intently than Jimmy was capable of when Michael explained the game to him.

“That’s the quarterback. He’s the star of the game, the leader. That’s what your daddy did when he was playing,” Michael murmured with a grin, and he looked so delighted that Amanda felt all the anger melting away. “Maybe one day you’ll be a QB too, kid.” 

When she approached, he looked up, his smile soft, and even though she knew the feeling of comfort was deceiving when she sat down with them, a few good days would be enough to keep her going for a while longer. 

"I wrote a scene based on this with Michael and Jimmy 🥺"

Erm where is it????

In the google doc where I have over 200 short scenes or prompts for fics that I'll never have time to properly do... :DD The scene is still unfinished because I have no idea how football works and I was too lazy to find out when I wrote it, but I'll try to finish it and post it! :"D

[wisteriashouse]

intoxicated.

pairing: rengoku kyoujurou x f!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 1738

remarks: awful writing that i needed to get out of my system because god the idea is cute but the execution is a mess

The sudden knocking at your front door startles you from your slumber. 

Awake but still groggy with sleep, you take a moment to peek at the clock hanging on the wall - it’s already one in the morning. You must have fallen asleep on the couch waiting for Kyoujurou to return home, the movie that you’d left playing on the television has been replaced by a list of credits rolling endlessly. Just as you’re about to let out another yawn, the knocking at the door resumes again, causing you to jump.

“Who is it?” You call, a little cautiously. It’s not like Kyoujurou to knock before he enters. If he were trying to announce his return home, it would more likely come in the form of a lively ‘I’m home, darling!’ or a surprise attack of smothering kisses and hugs. Not to mention how late at night it is… Slightly worried now, you reach for the heavy umbrella stand in the corner of the living room cautiously...

“Yo, open up before I leave your husband in the corridor!” To your surprise, the voice that answers your question is an unexpected but familiar one, dispelling any fear you have. You hurry to unlock the door, and once it swings open, Uzui Tengen’s massive frame fills the doorway of your apartment, a large shape slung over one of his broad shoulders. Bemused at this strange sight at your doorstep so late into the night, you squint a bit at the baggage Tengen is carrying before your eyes widen.

“Kyoujurou!”

“Right, where do you want me to drop off this sad sack of potatoes?” Without further explanation Tengen marches into your house, Kyoujurou still hoisted over his shoulder. Still at a loss to what’s going on, you gesture at the couch that you had been asleep on just a few moments prior, and Tengen proceeds to dump his colleague onto it unceremoniously. The two of you watch as Kyoujurou lets out a grumble at the sudden rough handling, fidgeting a bit on the couch before he falls still once more, eyes firmly shut. There’s a telltale crimson flush on his cheeks.

You turn to Tengen, who’s adjusting his jeweled headband with a hand and checking his hair in your mirror. “He’s completely drunk, isn’t he?”

Kyoujurou isn’t the type to drink, much less get inebriated to this extent. After growing up with a rather negative impression of alcohol, Kyoujurou strictly limits his own intake of it - never more than one or two glasses, and only during special occasions such as anniversaries or weddings. In fact, you don’t think you’ve ever seen Kyoujurou imbibing enough alcohol to get this intoxicated.

Your husband’s friend and colleague only shrugs, looking totally unrepentant with his arms crossed over his chest. “Well, it was results’ day for the academy today, and it turns out that not a single student failed history.” Surprised, you look down at Kyoujurou again. He’d been working so hard throughout the revision period, coming home later than usual and even skipping meals on occasion to tutor weaker students. Although Kyoujurou always claims that it’s not hard on him, you’re glad that his efforts have paid off so wonderfully. “So the teachers decided to hit the bar to celebrate, and at one point he mistook Shinazugawa’s vodka for water… yeah. Your husband really has no alcohol tolerance at all.”

You laugh a little, sitting next to Kyoujurou and resting the back of your hand on his cheek. “Well, you’re not wrong. Thanks for bringing him back, Tengen.” At your touch, Kyoujurou makes a pleased noise at the back of his throat, hands clasping yours and pressing it tighter against his cheek. With how warm he is, your hand probably feels like a refreshing ice pack to him. Tengen only makes a gagging noise.

“Yeah, yeah.” He waves it off casually, sticking his hands into the pockets of his hoodie before he turns to leave. “It’s getting late, so I better get back to my own family before they start worrying. I’ll lock the door on the way out, so you can just focus on taking care of that guy over there. See ya.”

You wave to him on his way out, and when the door clicks shut behind him, you look back at Kyoujurou, eyes gentle. His hair has come unbound (probably due to Tengen’s rough handling), a crimson and gold mess strewn over the couch. His normally pressed white shirt is wrinkled. With a faint smile, you shake your head before you reach for his tie, intending on undoing it so that you can put him to bed.

The second your fingers touch the knot of his tie, however, a pair of strong hands wrap around yours, stopping you in your tracks. Surprised, you look up at Kyoujurou, realising that his eyes have opened a crack as he looks blearily at you. “Ah, you’re awake?”

“M’ sorry but…” his words come out slightly slurred, and you have to strain your ears to make out what he’s saying. “But I'm… already married…”

You blink at him, momentarily amused. “Is that so?”

“Yes!” The volume of his declaration almost makes you jump, and you hurry to shush him before he can wake up all of the neighbours, hands pressed over his mouth. “So…” he waves a finger in front of your face wildly, a big frown on his lips. “No… funny business… Okay?”

So this is what your husband is like when he’s drunk. Now that you’ve been made privy to such knowledge, you can’t help but think that you should get him drunk more often. He’s cute. “Okay, no funny business,” you agree, removing your hands from his tie and placing them in your lap, although all you want to do is run your fingers through his hair and kiss the man silly. “How about I call your wife to come get you, then?”

Kyoujurou shakes his head quickly, orange and gold strands flying about. “No, no, no, don’t… she’s probably… sleeping by now.” He waves at the clock with a clumsy hand before sagging back onto the couch with a groan. “Don’t wanna disturb.”

A smile touches the corner of your lips. Really, you’ll have to make up for all the times you’ve wanted to kiss him now tomorrow morning. “You must love your wife very much, don’t you?”

“Of course!” Another shouted declaration, and you hurry to muffle him with a pillow to the face. “Very much so! More than anything else! I- hmpgf mhph hmm…” 

A small burst of laughter escapes you before you can stop it, and you have to cover your mouth with your hands to suppress your laughter. The pillow you had been holding earlier falls between the two of you. Kyoujurou looks taken aback, confused, then he pouts, almost childishly. “It’s true!” Kyoujurou insists, mistaking your laughter for disbelief. Holding up his left hand, Kyoujurou gestures at his ring finger energetically. “Look!”

You don’t need to look to know that his silver wedding band will be sitting there snugly, never having been taken off since your wedding day. “Wow, what a coincidence,” you say, deciding to humour him. Holding up your own left hand, you put your hands side to side by comparison. Your wedding bands shine in the dim light of the room next to each other. “Look, we match.”

Kyoujurou squints at the bands for a moment, before he turns his head to study your face. Then his expression suddenly lights up, a gigantic smile illuminating his face. “Darling!” The hug that he gives you nearly knocks you off the couch, the tips of his hair tickling your nose as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. Drunk as he is, Kyoujurou’s hugs always make you feel the same way - loved, warm and protected.

“You silly oaf, I can’t believe you didn’t recognise me.” With a laugh, you reach up to ruffle his hair before you pull him to his feet, guiding him towards the bedroom. “Come on, let’s get you changed and tucked into bed.”

Kyoujurou whines, nuzzling the top of your head and both arms wrapped securely around your waist. “But I wanna keep hugging you,” he complains, then lets out a little yelp when you swat his ass firmly.

“Be a good boy and get changed first, then maybe I’ll cuddle you in bed.” With a pout, Kyoujurou loosens his embrace just enough for you to take a step back. Reaching up, you focus on undoing the knot of his tie, tossing it to the side before moving to undo the buttons of his work shirt. “This would be so much easier if you’d help me out, you know,” you say lightly to tease him, glancing up at him to see what he’s up to. To your surprise, Kyoujurou is watching you seriously with a strange intensity to his gaze. It’s not a look you see on him often. “Kyoujurou?”

Without a word, Kyoujurou leans forward abruptly - with no time to react, the next thing you feel is a pair of lips landing on yours gently. Taken by surprise, you can only stand still with your fingers lingering on the buttons of his shirt as Kyoujurou captures your mouth in a warm kiss. The long fingers cupping your jaw are gentle, as though you’re a precious thing that he can’t afford to break.

After a few seconds, Kyoujurou slowly pulls away, and when you finally look up, he’s grinning brightly at you once more. “Just wanted to do that!” Kyoujurou laughs, before he turns and flops onto the mattress, half unbuttoned shirt still clinging to his broad frame. Stunned by the mood swings that the alcohol has brought on, you stare at him before you shake your head and join him on the bed, giving up on your original goal of getting him undressed.

“You’re going to regret drinking so much tomorrow morning,” you whisper as you tuck Kyoujurou into bed. Kyoujurou only smiles up at you, reaching out to take you into his arms and pulling you firmly into his chest. 

“That’s a problem for tomorrow!” He laughs, pressing your cheek against his. With a sigh, you pull the blankets over the two of you, snuggling closer to him for warmth.

“My problem for tomorrow, you mean.” 

Still, you wouldn’t mind him getting drunk more often, you think as you fall asleep in his embrace.

[meili-sheep]

This is just my own personal headcanon and/or theory but i feel like the reason why Diluc didnt suffer the negative effects of not having a Vision like memory loss, personality change and the stuff you see in Inazuma, is because he rejected the Vision itself. What the Vision stood for

Even those that willingly gave up their Vision suffered those effects. But the thing with them is they still stood by what those Visions represented. Diluc though? In his Vision log that you unlock after Friendship Level 6, it states that he and his father shared the same ambition but it died when his father died. Add to this Crepus sentiment that he regretted never getting a Vision and never becoming a knight, and we can reasonably conclude that Diluc’s Vision stood for his ambition to becoming a knight to protect Mondstat, uphold justice and make his father proud

But after The Incident, his view of his Vision and what it stood for changed and cut himself off from that. He fully and fundamentally cut himself off from that original ambition and desire, seeing as he no longer stood by or believed in those beliefs and ambitions and stuff which is why he suffered no repercussions from not having his Vision for over three to four years

"But Random," I hear you ask "if his ambitions and belief changed, why can he still use his Vision?" I get and I hear you reader and Meili, and dont worry-- I have an answer to that. His ambitions changed! But also stayed the same! Because his Vision, in its core, is to protect Mondstat and uphold justice. Its just that the finer details changed. From protecting Mond and upholding justice by being a knight, his new ambition became protecting Mond and upholding justice by any way he can. Its still fundamentally the same, but its also different!

And thats my belief on why Diluc didnt suffer the bad vibes of not having a Vision for a long ass while, thank you and good night

This is a really good interpretation of it. And I do like it a lot while personally not agreeing with all of it.

Mostly because I think a vision comes from a core part of yourself. I've always thought of people as like plants, always growing upward. And as we grow, some parts change, some wither way and die. Some parts get pruned, But the roots stay the same, only expanding as we do.

I've always put a Vision as a recognition of the core part of a person. A Vision is that part of the person crystalized with elemental energy and brought out into the world. To earn the Vision, you have to truly understand and accept this part of yourself.

And this is why I've never been liked Klee and Diluc having them at young ages because you are still developing as a person then.

And I don't like Diluc's Vision as his father's extension. That. That is Diluc's vision. That is who Diluc is, and Crepus never got a Vision because he could never accept who he was.

I've always thought Diluc's vision came from Diluc always wanting to protect people from seeing them happy. People keep describing him as having a gentle nature and being chipper. I think he's the kind of person who was happy and like sharing that happiness. And even now, he doesn't describe himself as upset or angry. I think he's generally content with his life. He is probably even happier now that he doesn't have to try and follow the rules to do what he thinks is right. Especially if they are rules that allowed people like Eroch to flourish.

As for not suffering for being away from his Vision, I partly think it's because was had already lost his understanding of himself. It was something that had begun to fade while he was a knight, and he too closely correlated his actions with his father. Because his father was living vicariously through him. And when everything happened, it all just snapped. The Vision was already there, but Diluc had already lost himself like all those in Inazuma. It just wasn't as apparent or straightforward. It's also why he never seemingly went looking for his Vision again.

I also think Kaeya holding on to the vision helped. Mostly because Kaeya knows who Diluc is. There are a few places where they say that Kaeya and Diluc could read each other's minds. So Kaeya, knowing this piece of Diluc and understanding Diluc's ambition and desire, I think, helped a lot.

[equizona]

Shielding Embrace

Fandom: Obey Me!

Characters: Mammon

Format: Drabble

Warning(s): Mentions of abuse(?) Angst(with a happy ending), crying, swearing, calling Lucifer a stuck up little bitch, OOC.

Summary: MC is tired of hearing Mammon get picked on so often, by his own brothers no less. As the second-born demon has always protected them, they think it's their turn to protect him.

Note: I wrote this a while ago, since I'm tIRED of Mammon getting bullied all the time. He deserves better-

"Diavolo, stop being such a scumbag Mammon-"

It wasn't uncommon that the brothers would call the second-born mean words. Scumbag was their favorite, along with dumb or stupid. You agreed that he didn't always make the best choices, but they were always so cruel about it. It never gave off the vibes that they were only joking either. It was like they meant every word.

You hated it with your whole being. Mammon had been the nicest to you, and he had been the one who had been there with you since the start, ever since Lucifer made him your 'guardian' in a way. He wasn't the best at showing his emotions, but you could tell he cared. Sometimes, it felt like he was the only one who cared.

You wanted to shout, or scream at them, for all the cruel things they would say to him. He deserved better than that. He was their brother, so why were they always so mean to him?

"MC? Are you okay?" You were forced out of your mind by Satan's annoyingly Loud question that brought the attention of everyone at the table to the two of you.

You remember when he tried to kill you. You remember when all of them tried to kill you. You remembered when Belphie actually killed you.

All those times never quite left your mind, and you could still feel the fear you felt in each of those situations. Mammon was the only one of them you felt completely comfortable with anymore, as he was the only one who never seemed to lose control and attempt to harm you.

You decided you wanted to stand up for him like he stood up for you all the time.

"Actually, no, I'm not. What's wrong with you guys?"

Satan's eye twitched, and it was oddly satisfying. You could see all of the brothers about to speak up about what you'd said, though you didn't give them that chance.

"I don't understand why all of you keep calling Mammon a scumbag. Is it because he's greedy? 'Cause if that is the case, then I want to remind you that greed is his sin. He's the avatar of greed. And I mean, why get mad about him for that? As far as I remember, all of you don't ever try to deny your sins."

You didn't feel satisfied just yet, so you decided to continue. You wanted to make them feel just as horrible as you assumed Mammon felt each time they threw those words at him.

"I mean, Lucifer is a stuck-up little bitch with too much pride and he can't ever seem to apologize or see that it's his fault no matter how obvious it is. Leviathan is constantly envious of everything to the point it can be fucking unbearable. Satan has extreme anger issues, and gets angry at the smallest things and Asmo is constantly flirting with people and usually not stopping until he's in their pants. And please, don't even get me started on Beel. Then of course, Belphie just seems to never bother lifting a finger to help anyone. But I never see anyone complaining about all of that, do I? It's not like any of you do anything to deny the sin you are assigned to, so why do you expect Mammon to do it, hmm?"

You raised your eyebrow in a judgemental way, just to add that extra spite. You could clearly see Mammon's shocked expression.

You preferred watching the reactions of the others more though. Beel looked guilty to some degree, Asmo looked offended, Levi and Belphie looked annoyed at the whole thing while Satan and Lucifer looked downright pissed.

You could see that Mammon was about to say something, probably about how he was okay and you should calm down, and Satan looked ready to snap and attack you, again. Though neither of them had the chance to react before Lucifer stood up while slamming his hands down on the table, glaring at you.

"Excuse me? Run that by me again, won't you?"

You'd normally apologize and leave the room to do something else, but you were tired with their bullshit and this just seemed like yet another way you could call them out on it.

So, you gathered up all of your courage and looked Lucifer straight in the eye, glaring at him as well, despite the fact you knew it would have little to no use.

"Or what? Are you going to try and kill me again? Because let me remind you that all of you have attacked me before, except Mammon. Oh, and of course, one of you actually managed to kill me. Remember that, Belphie?" You shot him a mean look, and at least he seemed to have some guilt over the situation.

"And you know, Lucifer probably would have killed me before as well, hadn't it been for Lord Diavolo. Oh, but you never quite did apologize for that, did you? You never apologized to Luke for attacking him either, did you? And it's because you have so much pride. Because you're so high and mighty and you can never do anything wrong, can you? Ah, but nobody ever tells you that, do they? Because they know it's the sin you represent and they know it's a part of who you are."

Lucifer blinked at you, shocked, and nobody else seemed like they were going to say anything either.

"Actually, in my opinion, I think Mammon is the least 'scummy' and 'lowlife' person in this room. And he somehow managed to be the one with the most control. Seriously, at this point I'm certain that you all only ever say those things to him because you all know you're the real lowlives and you're just too pathetic to admit it."

You didn't want to stay there anymore, and since they all seemed to shocked to say or do anything, you stood up and quickly made your way to your room, though it wasn't long until someone was knocking on your door.

"Uh, human..?"

Mammon's voice.

You almost wanted to cry. He didn't usually knock, he preferred to just barge in with his stupidly cheerful attitude that never failed to make you smile.

"You can come in."

You voiced it quietly, a small part of you hoping that he wouldn't hear you and just leave instead, but seconds after he opened the door and let himself in.

He didn't say anything as he sat down next to you on your bed though, most likely trying to figure out what he should say in a situation like this.

What you weren't expecting was to hear the sounds of sobbing.

Worriedly, you say up and moved next to him, concern filling your entire body as you gently put your arms around his shoulders and made him lean on your chest.

"Hey, hey, shh, are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"

You tried to make your voice as gentle as possible. You weren't entirely sure what to do, but you never liked it when he was sad. His negative expressions and tears always layed heavy on your heart, so much that it was almost unbearable.

"Did- did you mea-mean it-?"

He stuttered out after a few minutes of you running your hand through his hair in an attempt to calm him down. You frowned, not entirely sure which part he was asking about.

"Which part are we talking about specifically?" You questioned him, though you made sure that your voice was soft.

"All of it." As soon as he answered your question, he got out of your embrace only to put his hands around your neck for a hug. You grinned, hugging him back.

"Of course I was. You're the one that's been there for me since I came here, and while I can agree that you don't always make the best decisions, they don't always make the best decisions either. They are your brothers, and they should never be saying things like that to you. Actually, from now on, each and every time they say something mean towards you, I want you to come to me so I can smother you in my love and affection."

Oh shit, fuck, did you just-

"Wait- like- uh- no- uhm- like in a-a, uh-"

He moved away from you, and you wondered if he regretted that considering how red his face was. You'd probably burn your hand if you touched his face at this point.

"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to say that again."

You gave him a patient smile, wanting him to feel comfortable. You were almost certain that he liked you back, since he wasn't exactly very good at hiding it, but you hadn't wanted to act on it before now incase you made him uncomfortable or that you were wrong.

Though his reaction only made you more certain.

He took a few moments to collect himself, before trying to speak up again, though he didn't seem able to look you in the eyes.

"Do, uh- do you mean like- like in a, uh, a rom-uhm.."

"Romantic?"

You inquired softly, and to your delight he nodded, still not looking at you.

This wasn't exactly a side of him you saw often, since he would usually try and deny anything, but you were happy about it.

You moved to hold his face in your hands, though he still refused to look you in the eyes.

"If you want to. I'm not sure how you feel, since nobody but you can be certain about that, but I know I like you, and wouldn't mind smothering your face in kisses each day."

Your tone was playful, be genuine. You felt his face heat up even more, if that was even possible. He changed the direction of his gaze to look directly into your eyes, and you felt like you would get lost in the ocean his eyes had.

He leaned forward for another hug, and you grinned, barely taking a single second to process it before you were moving your hands to hug him back.

"I like ya too."

You grinned even brighter, squeezing him tighter. You didn't ever want to leave his embrace, and while you knew that you would have to face both his brothers and the world later, it would be a lot easier with him by your side.

[roger-that-cap]

weatherman

at first, you loved the words on your body that connected you to your soulmate, your one and only. but the older you got, the more annoying and mocking they became. what weirdo sings rhianna when they first meet their soulmate, anyway?

steve rogers x fem!reader

soulmate au!

word count: 1.7k, she’s a baby :,)

warnings: none besides the fact that this was written in an hour and a half, flufff!

By the time you were old enough to read, the song wasn’t out yet. At the time, you had no idea it was a song, of course, and the words were still cute. It sounded like you had a sweet soulmate. You thought of your soulmate coming to you in a million different ways in your imaginative little brain every single time it rained.

But when you were eight years old, the song came out. And then, you were teased for your words relentlessly. They started to hum the song when you walked by. Someone drew you a picture of a raindrop. One kid was even bold enough to laugh right in your face and tell you that Rihanna herself was your soulmate.

And every morning, you would turn on your side, lift your arm up, and look at the words inscribed in semi-neat cursive, your soulmate’s writing.

You can stand under my umbrella

Who even said that? It was so… cheesy. As the years went by, you doubted that it was rain at all that made the words come out of your soulmate’s mouth. By the time you were in high school, you were certain that it was a pick up line. You no longer longingly stared at every rain shower that happened.

Even though you had a certain, tiny disdain for whoever was behind the words, you knew that you missed them in a way that you didn’t understand fully yet. Perhaps the reason was that everyone else around you was happy with their other halves, living perfect lives with the person destined for them, but you knew that wasn’t their fault that you didn’t have yours. By the end of high school, most people already met their soulmates. You didn’t have yours yet, and it was your second year of college. Naturally, you started to worry.

What if they didn’t exist at all?

The possibility of not having a soulmate and just having filler words in the form of a Rihanna song plagued you every day, and the thought only got stronger when it rained. When you were younger, rain meant good luck, and it was your comfort weather. Now, all it brought was the cold and negative thoughts.

§§

It was your lucky day, because it was quite literally pouring while you served the drenched customer her coffee. You watched her yank the door open and rush towards her car through the glass windows, and you swore under your breath when you remembered something.

Your car was in the shop, and you were supposed to be walking home from work. That meant walking home in the torrential downpour.

You sighed and shook your head, leaning over the counter and already anticipating getting ultimately drenched on your short walk home.

Your boss let you go home early and started closing shop, and you didn’t know if you wanted to thank her or send her the bird for not letting you wait out the storm. She had never let you go home early before, not once in the entire history of you working there. It was unusual. You had full intentions of asking her if she had a hot date, but she started to turn off the lights before you could ask her what made her want to do something nice for once.

You shook your head again as you realized that you didn’t even have a hood or jacket or even worse, and umbrella. You sighed and braced for the cold, yanking the door open and folding your arms, pushing through the uncomfortable feeling of the cold, wet rain with your head down.

You got caught at a crosswalk and had to watch cars fly by. Of course you did. There were footsteps behind you, and you sighed and regretted the second that you stomped your foot, looking up to the sky and letting the rain hit you right in the face. “This is the worst fucking day of my life.”

There was a gasp from beside you and you didn’t even open your eyes. You assumed that whoever it was, was offended by your language. “Sorry,” you said, but you didn’t sound apologetic at all.

Someone cleared their throat from beside you, and you turned your head to the side to see a handsome blonde man with a dark blue umbrella and a pink flush on his face smiling at you, already moving the umbrella your way. Your heart raced. This couldn’t be it. Was it? Your hands were suddenly shaky as you waited for the man to say something, anything. No, not anything, you were waiting to hear the predestined offer (or pickup line) that you now loved again.

“Here,” the man said, and the sound of rain hitting the roof of the umbrella was almost as empty as you felt in the moment. You mustered up a smile at him and said a small thank you, trying to mask the disappointment that came with being so close meeting your soulmate after all.

The man held the umbrella for as long as he walked in the same direction as you, and then he apologized for not being able to hold it for you any longer. “It’s alright, thank you” you said, and hoped that the sound of the pounding rain was enough to hide the tremor in your voice. You were not about to cry.

You went to stand under the roof of a building on the side of it, hoping that the wave of rain would be over in a few minutes. It was better than running for two minutes, you supposed. You saw another blonde man with large strides walk past, with an even darker blue umbrella in his hand, and he was dry.

You groaned. “How am I the only one who didn’t know about the rain?”

The man stopped in his tracks and turned around, looking at you with wide, blue eyes as you stood nonchalantly under the roof, arms crossed and still a little hurt after the universe teasing you with the first umbrella man. When all he did was stare at you, you have him a harsh look and looked away. Staring men always meant trouble, and the meaner you were, the faster they would leave you alone.

“You can stand under my umbrella,” the handsome man said, and slowly, your head turned back his way. Your eyes locked again, and it was your turn to stare like an idiot. “I-I mean, if you want to.”

You leaned off of the wall of the building and took a step towards him. “Did you really just say that?”

A grin lit up on his beautiful face, and you already decided that his smile was your favorite thing on earth. Screw churros from the fair. “Depends, did you just say something about being the only one who didn’t know about the rain?”

You threw yourself into his arms, and he nearly dropped the umbrella just to hold you. His embrace was warm and strong, and he used just enough pressure for you to feel he was there. “I didn’t think you were real.”

It truly did felt surreal. You were in your soulmate’s arms after all that time wondering, worrying, and losing sleep, and now it all felt like it was going to be alright. You could see the happiness in you near future coming your way, the questions and the subtle and uncontrollable bitterness towards others fading away quickly. You already held this man high in your mind, and just like that, he was a priority. And you didn’t even know his name yet.

Instead of asking him for the name that you so desperately wanted to know or saying any of the cheesy words swirling around in your mind, you decided to talk about the words. “Because, who quotes Rihanna?”

“Who doesn’t look at the weather before leaving the house?” He retorted, pulling back a bit to study your face. You were glad that he was able to do it, because you discovered that his face was just as comforting as the warmth of his arms.

“Shut up, weatherman.”

He smiled down at you, blue eyes giving you a fond look that only soulmates could give each other after meeting so suddenly. He poked you right on your nose, a fluttering touch that made your heart skip a few beats.

“I can walk you wherever you need to go.” Your heart warmed at his kindness. It turned out the younger you that hoped that your soulmate was a sweetheart was right, after all.

“No, it’s okay, it’s probably out of your way,” you said anyway, disregarding the way the inner you was screaming at the part of you that had control over your mouth.

“I’m not even supposed to be all the way over here right now, and I think I already missed my appointment.”

“Where are you supposed to be?”

“The barbershop.”

You frowned at him. The barbershop was all the way on the other side of town, and he didn’t seem like he was lost. “How’d you find yourself over here?”

He paused for a second, like he was debating on whether or not to tell the truth. “Something told me to walk this way.”

You could have fallen apart, and you believed that without even knowing you, he would have known how to put you back together again. “Looks like you listened,” you breathed out, in awe of the man before you, who was staring at you with the same look of bewilderment.

“How could I not?” He took one of your hands in his after asking for permission with his eyes, and you felt the tingling build up at the connection. “I’m Steve.”

You told him your name, and he repeated it once, and then twice, and then a smile was on his face, like that was the one word he needed to hear. You resisted the urge to touch his face now that you could see the subtle stubble growing in. “Don’t wear it out, weatherman.”

You took a step forward, and his long legs only took half of his normal stride to match up with you. He walked you home while you talked about anything and everything with him, every now and again talking about the words on your respective wrists and how glad you were that you found each other.

It felt so right.

You met him the next day at the park, and it was as sunny as it could be. He was carrying a tackily designed gift bag that he put red tissue paper in, and from then on, you knew he was a big goof. He handed you the bag with a huge, dopey smile on his face, and you cackled when you opened it.

It was an umbrella, an poncho, and a copy of Weather for Dummies.

******

omg omg not my first soulmate au lmao and many more to come in different shapes and sizes bc-

i’m obsessed

hope y’all liked it!!! <3

[onmykneesforhotdilfs]

jealous

guess who is back, that’s right, ME. anyway, this was not a request or anything but i needed to do this in order to get back on track. there are bunch of requests sitting in my box over there but i am working on them, i promise. if not in august, then you will get them all in september. k? now that this is out of the way, i hope you enjoy and as always, if you guys wanna talk about my fics or anything really, feel free to message me, i’m always available.

“Are you absolutely sure you want to go?

Bloom sighed and winced as Stella pulled a strand of her fiery hair too hard, sharp pain from the tug settling in her temple lobe making her regret her decision to have her blonde friend help her get ready for, yet another, Eraklyon ball.

“Well it seemed like a good idea to me at the beginning… but judging by the number of times I have been asked that question, I am starting to think it is not such a good idea after all.” Bloom responded sarcastically.

“Look Bloom,” Stella began as she took another strand of Bloom’s hair and curled it around the curling iron, “I get it. You guys broke up on friendly terms, but no one is going to blame you if you choose not to go.” Bloom frowned and she was about to open her mouth to protest, but Stella paid her no mind as she continued to curl her hair. “It’s his engagement party at the end of the day and the one that could turn rather messy considering who the bride-to-be is.”

“I know this might seem slightly unorthodox Stell, but I honestly have no hard feelings towards Sky.” Bloom shrugged one of her shoulders. “Besides, I’ve moved on.”

Stella snorted and tried to cover the sound (not befitting of a royal) with a cough but Bloom saw right through it as she leveled her best friend with a flat look. “Sorry Bloom. But you’ve got to admit that the situation is slightly absurd.”

Bloom sighed, her shoulders slouching forward in a clear sign of defeat. “Well, yes, I admit that the situation might seem weird-“

“Weird?” Stella laughed. “Sweetie, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but the situation ceased to be weird when you decided to spare the bastard.” Bloom saw Stella raise one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows in the mirror but an amused smile full of mirth was present on her lips. “This right now, this is insanity at it’s finest.”

Bloom rolled her eyes. “Okay now you’re exaggerating. Besides, the two of you are getting along quite well. With the way the two of you strive to get on my nerves, I’ll even say, you get along better than him and I do.”

“Okay, that’s just hurtful.” Stella pouted, her bottom lip sticking out and Bloom laughed at the puppy dog look her friend was giving her.

“I’m just kidding Stell.”

“I don’t know Bloom. I now might have to tell your boyfriend you find him annoying.” Bloom never quite considered Stella as a snitch, but the devils dancing in blonde’s eyes reminded her that she needed to thread carefully unless she wanted to be eaten alive by the devil himself and his accomplice.

“Now, don’t be twisting my words. I never said I find you or him annoying…” She stopped for a second to debate whether or not she should say the next sentence. “No matter how true that statement might be.” She mumbled at the end.

Stella burst out laughing and hugged Bloom from behind. “That’s ok Bloom, you annoy us too.” At the red head’s confused look, Stella continued. “Between your constant rushing into danger without thinking and doing the exact opposite of what you’re told, it’s a miracle neither of us has a set of gray hair from worrying too much.”

Bloom felt the heat rushing to her cheeks and she lowered her head to conceal the blush that was climbing up her neck. “I’m not that bad.”

“No, you’re not.” Bloom’s eyes met Stella’s in the mirror. “You’re even worse.”

“Thanks a lot.” Bloom mumbled but she had to bite her lip to stifle a laugh as Stella’s sharp elbow stabbed her in the back making her bend forward slightly.

“Speaking of the devil, how is Valtor?” Stella asked as she started tucking delicate curls into a bun with an elaborate pattern. “I mean, you did leave him with your parents, your real parents, after all. Aren’t you worried that there will be nothing left of him when you come back?”

Bloom grinned. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. He knows he should stay away from the throne room when I’m not there… He had to learn that the hard way though.”

“That hard way wouldn’t happen to be an angry king of Domino with a magic sword?” Stella asked through her giggles as the mental picture of an aristocratic wizard being chased across the hall by Bloom’s father popped up in her head.

“Who blabbed?” Bloom asked with genuine interest painted across her features.

Stella shrugged. “One of the maids that has a cousin working in Solaria’s palace happened to be at the right place and at the right time.” She pinned the final curl to the right place and stepped back to admire her work. “And I happened to be at the right place and at the right time to hear it being passed directly from one person to another.”

“Well, aren’t you lucky?” Bloom mumbled as she stood up from her chair and stretched her stiff muscles.

“Yeah, I guess I am. I never had the misfortune of being chased by your dad with a sword after all.”

Stella laughed as Bloom pushed her slightly, slight grimace present on her face. “Thank you for your help.” She leaned in to give Stella a hug. “I’ll see you tonight?”

“Of course. Wouldn’t miss the show for anything.” Stella smiled and wiggled her eyebrows.

Bloom laughed. “You know, it is not nice to rejoice in someone else's misfortune. Dragon knows I would rather jump off the bridge than marry Diaspro.”

Stella waved her arm dismissively. “Each to it’s own. He should’ve sucked it up and come clean right away instead of preventing you from moving on and just prolonging the misery. A bit of suffering might be good for his soul.” She stopped for a second. “Though I’ll admit, marrying Diaspro might be too cruel of a punishment, even for him.”

“Well I am certainly not going to pull a Diaspro card tonight. I just hope he will live to see himself get married. After that, he is beyond my care.”

“Honey, he was beyond your care the moment you ended things, don’t pay too much attention to him.” Stella wiggled her eyebrows playfully. “Valtor might get jealous if you do.”

Bloom shook her head. “He’s not necessarily the jealous type Stell.” When Stella raised an eyebrow and her face morphed into an expression of disbelief, Bloom frowned. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Are you completely blind or something?” When Bloom’s face continued to show nothing but plain confusion, Stella continued. “Are you seriously telling me that you do not see the glares he is sending to other people who look at you for two seconds too long?” Bloom shook her head negative but a stunned expression tensed her facial muscles and if Stella focused, she could probably see the cogs turning in Bloom’s brain.

“I’ve… honestly never noticed.”

Stella smirked. “I’m not sure why I’m even surprised. The two of you separately could conquer the world, but apparently when you’re together your brain cells eat each other or something because you are stupid for anything and everything besides for each other.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Bloom, honey, if there was a picture for ‘crazy in love’ in the dictionary, it would be a picture of the two of you.”

Bloom rolled her eyes. “I’ll have you know that we actually talk quite a lot.”

“I’m sure you do… when you’re not too busy getting lost in each other’s eyes from across the room.”

Bloom exhaled and pinched a bridge of her nose. “Okay I think that’s enough of that. Don’t injure that fashionable brain of yours by thinking too hard about me and Valtor. I’ll see you tonight.” She gave Stella another quick hug, ignoring the ‘Hey!’ she got and opened a portal to Domino. She threw a quick ‘I love you’ to Stella before stepping into the portal.

Shining rays of sun almost blinded her and she had to squint her eyes as she stepped into the throne room, making the people in it stop what they were doing to greet the princess. Bloom dismissed them all with a wave of her hand and a friendly smile as she climbed the steps to greet her parents.

“You look gorgeous honey.” Her mother said as she kept Bloom at an arm’s length to examine the hairstyle. Marion brought her hand to Bloom’s face and twirled a lock of fiery strand that framed her face.

“It’s all Stella mom. But thank you.” Bloom laughed cheerfully and tucked the lock behind her ear. “Have you seen Valtor by any chance?” She ignored a dangerous growl that sounded next to her, courtesy of her father, and continued. “We should get going soon.”

Just as Marion opened her mouth to answer, the door to the room opened and Valtor, wearing classic black pants and white shirt, strode in. Oritel jumped from his chair and Bloom saw, in her peripheral vision, how Marion gripped his forearm when Valtor came closer and started to climb the steps. He acknowledged no one as his eyes locked onto hers and Bloom got a flashback of Stella gushing about him having eyes only for her. Bloom felt the heat rushing to her head but paid it no mind as Valtor’s hands finally wrapped around her waist and he leaned down to kiss her forehead in greeting. She collapsed onto him, feeling almost boneless, her knees barely supporting her. The dragon fire connection burned pleasantly in her veins, carrying even more heat into her cheeks but Bloom was too busy basking in the euphoria that their connection provided to care. His thumb was drawing lazy patterns on her waist and Bloom had to resist the urge to giggle quite childishly. Instead she distanced herself from his embrace slightly, only now realizing they were not in private, and looked up at his face that had the beginning of a genuine smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Someone (Oritel) cleared their throat and Bloom broke eye contact with Valtor as unkind lights flashed in his eyes, his hand tightening around her waist, a clear sign of sheer annoyance on his part.

“So…” Bloom began rather awkwardly, clearing her throat as Valtor and Oritel continued to shoot each other unkind looks from across her head. “I trust the day has passed without any incidents involving swords and other sharp objects.”

“That only happened once.” Both of them spoke at the same time, a similar grimace painted at both Oritel’s and Valtor’s face.

“And once was enough, thank you very much.” Bloom said as she looked between the two men, trying to suppress her laughter.

“He started it.” Both men mumbled at once and turned an evil eye to each other.

“Very mature.” Sarcasm was dripping from every word Bloom spoke, her teeth nibbling at the bottom lip as she felt that exploding argument was about to commence and she really had no time for such shenanigans.

“If I remember correctly, your majesty,” Valtor began, sugar coating his voice but his face frozen in a sour expression, “you were the one that chased me with a sword, not the other way around.”

Bloom mumbled an ‘Oh no.’ and pinched Valtor’s side warningly. She squeezed her eyes together as dull pain began thumping against the walls of her skull. Her eyes met the worried but slightly amused eyes of her mother, and the queen shook her head clearly referring to the childish argument between the two grown men.

“Next time I’m simply going to break one of the hardwood chairs against your back then.” Oritel continued with a sheer, his frame slowly molding into one ready for an attack. The men leaned towards each other dangerously, and Bloom was afraid that sooner or later lightning will shoot from their eyes.

“There won’t be a next time. Your luck is that I chose not to defend myself, because otherwise, the outcome of that meeting would’ve been very different.”

“We can test that theory right now!”

“Bring it!”

The two were about to rush at each other, Oritel’s hand reaching for his sword and Valtor’s hand already lit with a spell, but an explosive spell rushed between their faces and forced the two to close their eyes and turn in the opposite direction. When the searing white finally retreated from their retinas and they were able to see clearly again, they turned to the women standing on the side, Marion’s hand raised as remains of the spell still sparked at her fingertips.

“Gentlemen. Please, behave.” The queen’s tone bore no traces of jest and Valtor and Oritel straightened their clothes in an effort to compose themselves, both coming to a conclusion that the continuation of a quarrel could result in serious bodily injury provided by none other than Marion.

Oritel cleared his throat and looked across Valtor’s shoulder towards the open hall. The servants were frozen in surprise, some were even huddled together as numerous whispers passed through the room. He looked towards his wife who was shaking her head in disbelief as if to say ‘Look at what you’ve done now.’ He once again cleared his throat and turned towards the people in the room. “Go back to your duties, there is nothing to see here.” The servants scattered across the room, fearing the wrath of their king, but amused chuckles still broke through some mouth.

“If you’re quite done,” the queen began, “maybe it would be for the best to go separate ways for today.”

“But Marion he-“ what was undoubtedly about to be another epic rant about whose fault it is was put on hold by a simple hand gesture. Marion crossed her lips in an universal ‘Zip it.’ motion and king’s mouth snapped shut. Seeing such scene, Valtor opened his mouth to say something but a sharp elbow to his ribs made him rethink his decision. He cleared his throat and grabbed the owner of the said elbow, a girl who was red in the face and almost had steam coming from her ears, and pulled her towards himself. Bloom struggled against his hold for a second but relaxed fairly quickly when Valtor sneaked his arm across her waist.

“I agree with mom.” She looked at Valtor and the hard look she gave him indicated that there was no room for refusal. “We should go get ready.”

As soon as the door to their room closed, Bloom snatched the shirt she was wearing over her head (weary of her hairstyle) and flopped face first onto the mattress. The dull ache in her head was turning into a full fledged migraine and she had to resist the urge to rip out all the bobby pins Stella placed into her hair. A sigh sounded somewhere next to her and a bed dipped slightly to the side due to the added weight. Bloom reached across the surface of the cool bed sheets blindly until her fingers wrapped around a gloved hand. She tugged on the hand slightly, a chuckle sounding in the room, as Valtor leaned above her to place another kiss at her forehead.

“Are you sure you want to go?”

“If another person asks me that today, I am going to scream.” Was her muffled response as she rubbed her face into the pillow she found laying around on the bed. “I’ve sat in the chair for hours, Stella practically tortured me with how much she pulled and tugged on my hair. There is no way, and I cannot stress this enough, no way in hell that I will miss Sky’s engagement ball just because I’d rather stay in bed.”

“If you say so.” He ran his thumb over her knuckles. “But in that case, we should probably start getting ready.”

Bloom groaned and pressed her face harder into a pillow. “Five more minutes.”

Valtor huffed a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sigh but moved towards the middle of the bed, one of his arms planting in between the bed and Bloom’s head replacing her pillow, while the other arm rested at the curve of her hip, his fingers drawing patterns at the soft skin. Bloom shuffled quietly on the bed as well, her head settling at the space where his neck met his collarbone, while one of her legs settled across his stomach. The hand that was mapping out the skin of her hip trailed teasingly upwards and Bloom twitched when his fingers ghosted over her ribs.

“That tickles.” She whispered against the skin of his neck, her lips brushing over the sensitive nerves with every letter.

“All the more reason for me to keep doing it.” Bloom pouted and lifted herself up on her forearms, her weight supported by her arms placed at his chest. Valtor huffed jokingly when she shifted her weight and he was rewarded for it with a slight punch to his shoulder. She ignored the fake ‘Ouch.’ from his side and moved to straddle his legs. He moved to meet her halfway when she leaned down for a kiss, the movements slow and gentle but no less passionate.

“Maybe we should just stay in.” He murmured when she broke the kiss only to descend down with short pecks to his neck. His hands took hold of her hips, fingers squeezing the tender flesh harder than necessary in a fit of passion.

“Mmmmm no. No. No, we don’t have time for that.” She groaned when his hands reached for the clasp of her bra.

“We can make it quick.” He huffed, annoyed and frustrated, when Bloom reached around to grab his hands and stop his movements. He fell back onto the bed as she moved up towards his face, his hands still held captive by her small fingers.

“No, we can’t.” She giggled and kissed his cheek quickly before swinging her legs off his lap and walking to her closet to pick up her dress.

“You always have to spoil my fun, don’t you?” He groaned and sat sup in bed, his fingers threading through his hair.

“Don’t sulk, we’ll have time to play later.” She didn’t even look at him as she continued rummaging through her stuff, but a teasing note and a promise was very much present in her voice. She let out a victorious ‘Aha!’ when she found the dress. “Besides, as my partner, I want you there.” The dress was tossed carelessly across the chair as she moved to stand in front of him at the foot of the bed. “Are you telling me you’d let me go all alone?” Her voice took on a slightly higher pitch and her lower lip wobbled slightly with every word. “You’d let someone else dance with me, put his hands on me?” She was playing a dangerous game and that was evident by the low growl that escaped from deep within his throat and by the darkening of his eyes.

She squeaked, slightly startled by the sudden movement, as his hands took a firm hold of her thighs and pulled her to him, his mouth attaching to her left hip, his sharp teeth leaving a bruised bite in the area as she wiggled in his hold, the pain from the bite sharp but not unpleasant. He soothed the tender spot by placing gentle, barely there kisses, no more than a brush of lips against the flesh. She hummed and ran her fingers through his hair, making him look up at her mischievous eyes. “You’re jealous.” It was not a question, but a statement and he groaned as he buried his face in her stomach, his arms circling her hips, hands resting on her behind. Bloom chuckled and tapped his shoulder twice before she pushed slightly on them, a clear sign he should let go, and grabbed her dress before she retreated to the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

She emerged ten minutes later, silky turquoise dress sitting on her frame perfectly, loose curls placed behind her ear. Valtor, in the process of buttoning up his vest, stopped what he was doing and smiled at her. She mimicked his movements and stood right in front of him as her hands smoothed out wrinkles on his sleeves before straightening the collar of his shirt. No words were spoken as his large palms took hold of her delicate ones and brought them to his lips. The intimate moment was broken with the loud blaring of a cellphone and Bloom moved to answer it, Valtor’s hands letting go of her.

“Hello Stella.”

“Hey, where are you guys? We just landed. Are you going to be here soon?” Before Bloom even had the chance to answer either of the two questions, Stella continued. “Please say you will, because Bloom, I cannot promise I will not do anything if I see Diaspro.”

Bloom laughed, her hands rummaging through her makeup bag in search for lipstick. “We’ll be there shortly Stell, don’t worry.”

“You’re teleporting, right?”

“Mhm.” Bloom hummed absentmindedly as she continued looking for the lipstick.

“Okay, I’ll see you soon then. I love you.”

“I love you too Stell. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Stella laughed. “No promises. Ciao.”

Bloom threw her phone to the bed as she finally dug out a lipstick from a black hole that is her makeup bag. She leaned over the desk to apply it and she was about to turn around to ask Valtor if he could carry it in his pocket but gasped in surprise when two hands came up from behind and something cold was placed on her neck. Bloom bit her lip when she noticed that the cold object was a beautiful sapphire necklace, the color of the precious stone matching her eyes almost perfectly. Valtor’s hands moved from her neck, following the line of her spine, before settling on her hips. His lips ghosted over her hairline, down the line of her jaw before they settled in the junction of her neck and he placed a proper kiss there.

“You look stunning.” He whispered in her ear, his lips barely touching the shell of her ear, but the hot breath washing over her face made the goosebumps erupt across her skin.

“Thank you.” She spoke, her voice shaky, her fingers twirling the necklace resting at her sternum.

Colder breeze passed over her the very next second as he moved away from her to look at the mirror, spell words already on his lips and his appearance morphed back into perfection, not a hair out of place and no wrinkle on his clothes. He cleared his throat and turned to Bloom, who was still quite red in the face, and offered her his hand.

“Shall we?”

Bloom took his hand as his other one was already busy creating a portal, she moved closer to him, one of her hands searching for a pocket in his blazer. She smiled when she found it and looked up at him with a twinkle in her eye. “We shall, good sir.”

Valtor smirked as his free hand landed on Bloom’s left hip, his thumb tracing the bruise he left there, before the two stepped into a portal and disappeared with a flash.

[yandere-sins]

Tough Love

[My Commission Info] | [My Ao3] | [Ko-Fi]

Another lovely anonymous commission, acting as a prequel to this story! Thank you for commissioning me again ♥

Characters: Yandere!Dragon!Shinguji Korekiyo x Boyfriend!Gokuhara Gonta x Reader Words: 3282 Warnings: Yandere, Kidnapping, Threatening, Body distortion

Gently and mindfully closing the door behind him, Korekiyo took a deep breath. Having brought both of his new humans into their respective rooms, it was now time to wait and see what would happen. He didn’t think of himself as too harsh when he grabbed them off the ground, carrying them off to his castle. But even so, the shock and stress might have caused them to blackout. However, even if there were minor injuries, Korekiyo was confident he could treat them by now. Kiyo’s steps echoed through the silent corridors of the castle, his right hand brushing over the doors lined up on the wall. Everything was prepared and ready for them; there was nothing they’d lack while staying in this castle.

It had taken years for him to become so comfortable with what he was doing, his first few tries having ended in disaster. Never again did he want to repeat what happened, even if that meant he had to be more careful, more prepared, and more distant from his subjects. Part of him wished to be closer to them more than ever. Still, year-long experience had shown that humans and dragons could never coexist peacefully. He would never be able to go into a city without fearing getting speared upon sight, even in his humanoid form. To some degree, he could understand their fear. All of their experiences with dragons had been negative. But at the same time, he had never wanted anything more than to learn from the humans and understand them like no one of his kind had before. Compared to him, humans were so fragile and easily withered, like flowers in the winter. And Kiyo was the frost, yearning for sunny days.

Perhaps this time, it would be different, seeing that there were two of them. His previous studies had shown that connections between humans were vital for their well-being. At the same time, his presence as a dragon didn’t seem to have the same influence on them. They wouldn’t accept his companionship or love, no matter how well or bad he treated them. But now that he had the chance to observe what it was like, perhaps he’d be able to use it in the future as well. It would be interesting to see and compare those two to the knowledge he had acquired so far about singular humans, even if it would take time and patience - two things he had plenty of. Nonetheless, he knew he couldn’t be too lenient with them. Too many had opposed him before; he couldn’t risk losing these two because he was growing soft. Tough love, that’s what the humans called it, right? 

It would be exactly what he’d use on them.

Your head was still throbbing when you opened your eyes. It didn’t come as a surprise, but it was awful nonetheless. No one liked waking up feeling like shit. Warm sunlight shone upon you as you turned over in your soft bed, clutching your sides when you felt the sharp pain left on you after being grabbed by a dragon. Had you been rescued? Were you even alive? The images were still vivid in your mind; the chaos, the screams, and Gonta’s hand holding yours as you two were running away.

Gonta!

Sitting up straight, you instantly regretted being hasty. Of course, your body couldn’t keep up with the sudden movements after all that happened, but your mind grew frantic as you thought about your boyfriend. Straining your eyes, you made out the layout of the unfamiliar room you were in, furrowing your brows as the questions in your head multiplied. It was a nice room, probably the nicest one you had ever seen in your life. Finely crafted amenities, vivid colors, and pristine conditions - just like what you’d imagine a fairytale would look like. Where were you? What happened after you blacked out? Was Gonta taken too? Had someone rescued you and put you in this room so you could recover? Looking down at you, you still had your usual clothes on you, even if they were sullied with dirt. Why would someone put you in such a fancy bed this way?

It almost made you feel bad to sit in the clean white sheets with your dirty clothes, but it wasn’t the time to worry about how hard it would be to wash the stains out of the sheets. You lifted your legs off the mattress, trying to stand up, feeling the backlash of being knocked out. Even though it felt weird and a bit painful, you could determine with relief that nothing was broken. Taking weak steps, you made your way towards the exit of your room to call out to someone, ask what was going on. And maybe, find the one person you wanted to be held by most.

The door swung open quickly as you pushed the handle, no pulling or tearing like you were used to from the sometimes stuck doors all around your village. Everything seemed so immaculate. It was almost intimidating. Stepping out, you found yourself in a long hallway filled with doors. Paintings hung from the walls of places you had never seen. Even if you guessed before that this was no small house, you were still amazed by how endless it seemed to be. However, even if there were traces of living - books and plants decorating the hall - you couldn’t see anyone. “H-Hello?” you asked, your voice hoarse from screaming so much when the dragon captured you. 

No response.

Overcome with a weird feeling when no one answered you, you tried again without success. A mansion as big as this should have servants running around, right? Meeting anyone would calm the anxious rumbling in your stomach, but this way, you didn’t know where to go or what to do first. Suddenly, you heard the sound of heavy footsteps approach you from the front, and you noticed the intricately decorated door. Before you could step up to it, it swung open, revealing a very familiar face. The shudder of your name fell of Gonta’s lips before he hugged you tightly, and you sunk into his arms while a heavy stone fell off your shoulders. “I’m so glad you’re alright,” he sighed, relieved, sniffling a little. 

It took a while before you two could let go of each other, but you were so thankful for feeling his warmth, knowing he really was there with you. No matter how strange and scary the situation had seemed at first, knowing you weren’t alone made everything better. “Do you… still remember anything that happened after… you know?” you asked as you separated from him, and Gonta’s expression turned apologetic as he shook his head. “It’s okay,” you whispered, reaching up to caress his cheek. Gonta gave a heavy sigh as he leaned into your affection, and you could feel how relieved he was too. “I thought… I really thought…” he mumbled, his face twitching in pain.

“Shh, it’s okay.” You didn’t want him to think about these things. About the ‘what if’s and the ‘could have been’. Hell, you didn’t even want to think about these things yourself, and you knew that they’d only cause you both suffering. All that mattered was that you were reunited and a little less lonely in your confusion. 

It came as a surprise when a sudden clap interrupted your moment of togetherness, and you looked to where it was coming from alerted. It was strange, and you hadn’t noticed anyone before, but a little down the hallway, the figure of a man was sitting on a delicate white bench, a closed book in hand. He slowly looked up, your eyes crossing. Never before had you seen such a pristine-looking human, very different energy coming from him. Having spent all your life in your village, you found it hard to discern if this was simply the aura of a noble or something else entirely. 

“I am glad to see you woke up,” he spoke as he stood up from the little bench located between two doors. “I was worried about you two.”

“Where- Where are we?” was the first question on your mind, your hand gripping a bit tighter into Gonta’s shirt as the man approached. 

“My castle. Your home,” was the curt answer you received, however, the man didn’t stop walking, eventually passing the both of you who stepped out of the way respectfully. “What do you mean?” you replied, but the man kept walking down the long corridor as if he had heard nothing. 

“You may explore as much as you want. I hope it will be to your liking,” the man stated, finally coming to a halt in front of one of the many doors, opening it before giving a short glance back towards you and Gonta and ultimately disappearing inside what laid behind. You heard the click of a lock as the door closed and looked at Gonta helplessly. “What did he mean?” 

However, Gonta didn’t have an answer for that either. “I’m not sure, but Gonta doesn’t like it…” 

You had to agree with your boyfriend, who seemed to grow more anxious by the second. Taking his hand in yours, you squeezed it reassuringly before suggesting, “Let’s look around, maybe we’ll find a way out,” and he nodded, giving you a squeeze back.

Many doors wouldn’t budge as you tried to open them, but the few rooms you were able to enter didn’t help you two much on your pursuit for a way out. One led to a long banquet hall, only containing a seemingly endless table surrounded by more chairs than you could count. Another one hosted more books than anyone would ever be able to read in a lifetime. As wondrous as it was, all of these rooms didn’t help soothe your own anxiety, much less Gonta’s. It became more evident with every passing chance that something was wrong, even if neither of you wanted to admit it. You just held hands tighter, hoping that the next door would be the key to go outside. 

“Look!” Gonta called out as you searched through the office you two had stumbled upon. Perhaps it was just your own desperation, but you wanted there to be something in here to help, even if it was just a key for one of the locked doors or a map of the layout of the ‘castle’ you were in. But even after skipping through the books, some too hard to read and in questionable languages, there were no clues left behind that would point to your whereabouts. As if this place was isolated from everything. Stepping up to Gonta, he pushed away the curtain for you, big windows being revealed behind them. 

“Oh…” you gasped as you looked outside, seeing how high up you two were. It might not have been an exaggeration after all when the man told you it was his castle, considering there was a tall defense wall surrounding the building and endless fields of gold-shimmering wheat surrounding it. Inside the walls, you could only see the flourishing gardens lying beneath, decorated by colorful flowers and a small river bed winding through it. Just like everything inside the castle, it was astonishingly beautiful with flowers you had never seen before, but it didn’t deter you two from the main point of interest.

“That’s… a big wall,” Gonta mumbled thoughtfully, and you agreed with a shake of your head. Not only was it tall, it also consisted of firm, solid blocks of stone, without even a hint of aging on them. Of course, you couldn’t tell how good the condition of the outside of the wall was, but just from looking at the inside, you figured it would be hard to find a nick in it. “Do you see an exit somewhere?” you asked, stretching your neck to look as far as possible in hopes of seeing a tower or the huge gats you imagined castle walls to have.

���There is none,” a voice rang out from behind, and you turned around, startled to see the same mysterious man from before approach. Neither of you had heard the door open, and yet here he was as if he appeared from nothing. “When my humans kept trying to get out of the castle, I put a boulder in front of the exit. Now, only I can come and leave as I please.”

“Who are you?” you yelled at him, standing protectively in front of Gonta, who flinched when you raised your voice. However, the man’s words rang alarm bells in your head, and the bad feeling you had before intensified. Something about him wasn’t right. Even if it was just a slight difference, he didn’t appear as human as you would have liked him to be. Especially now that you got a better look at him, your gaze clearer than when you had just woken up, he simply felt off to you. 

“I am…” His voice trailed off as he hesitated to finish the sentence, bringing a finger to his lips in contemplation before shaking his head almost as if he was disappointed. “Have you not thought about it yet? Very well, I shall tell you then. I am who brought you here. You may call me Korekiyo.”

“Brought us… here?” you muttered, the sudden grip on your shoulder startling you, and you looked back at Gonta, who was shaking as if he had seen a ghost. Oh, you realized, your eyes widening in shock and surprise as you gasped, “The dragon!” before quickly covering your mouth with your hand.

“What-” you croaked, as you were left speechless momentarily. You felt your pulse quickening, but having Gonta behind you gave you back some strength and composure to not panic. In the very worst case, you two would make a run for it. Even Gonta knew how to act quickly, and his strength would not be useless when trying to get out. The only important thing was that you two stuck together no matter what. You could make it if you were together.

“What do you want from us?!” you yelled accusatory, brushing your hand over Gonta’s on your shoulder in comfort for both of you. “Why did you bring us here?! I- I demand to be let go, right now!”

“Why would I?” was the man’s - dragon’s? - simply answer, and he stepped forward, effectively cornering you two between the window and the office table. “You’re here to keep me company, and I can’t wait-” Holding out his hand, you saw it coming too close to comfort to your face, making you flinch away from it and bringing you and Gonta into a backwards stumble. “-to see how you’ll do,” he finished his speech, leaving you none the wiser. His hand remained in the air for a moment longer before the dragon curled it into a fist, taking another step forward.

“We’ll get out!” you announced. You had no plan and no idea how you’d manage such a deed, but neither would you accept whatever your captor planned for you two so ominously. 

A strange gleam appeared in the dragon’s eyes as you spoke rashly about your plans, and with another step, he was in front of you. Perhaps it was just a trick of your eyes, but you thought to see him change as you looked at him, a wave of shimmering scales erupting from his skin before disappearing again and his face deforming briefly into a much more grotesque form. It left you speechless until you felt both of Gonta’s hands clawing into your shoulders before he pulled you away while another hand wrapped around your chin. 

“Don’t forget at whose mercy you are.”

He was so close now that you could feel his hot breath against your skin, your body instinctively starting to shiver. Even if you pretended to be strong and courageous, your subconscious knew better as to not fear the predator in front of you. Even if his fingers were soft, claws were protruding from his nails, and his grip was merciless. It resembled when he grabbed you and dragged you off as a full-fledged dragon before you lost consciousness, a memory you’d rather not remember. 

Gonta was the one to break you two apart, his arm wrapping around you as he pulled you back and close against him in an effort to protect you. You couldn’t see his face, but with how desperately he was holding on to you, you realized that he was beyond worried after witnessing this exchange. There was only a small gap between you and the dragon now, but his touch did not linger as he looked up at Gonta, who quickly began to stammer an apology. “We- We won’t! So please…” 

It was unclear if this satisfied the dragon, but he let off, crossing his arms behind his back again. “As long as you know how you should behave, it’s fine.”

Way too quickly, the dragon composed himself, not even heaving a heavy sigh despite the displeasure of being confronted by you. The deformities you thought to witness stopped, as well as the shimmering gleam of scales. He was almost back to looking like a ‘normal’ human, despite being the farthest lifeform from it. “You may explore the open rooms and sleep in the ones you woke up. Or share them, I don’t mind. I’m sure you’ll find the amenities quite comfortable and interesting, but do let me know if you need anything.”

Turning on his heel, he seemed unbothered to turn his back to you, even though you were seething with the desire to ram something into his vulnerable body at that moment. Part of you was scared, but the other was angry and confused, wondering what would happen and why you were here in the first place. If only… you hadn’t survived. Maybe it would have been better that way.

But you couldn’t think like this. Not when there was another person who needed you.

Supported by Gonta’s arms, you tried to stand on your wobbly feet alone when the dragon suddenly turned around to you again to add something to his words, making you flinch as his piercing gaze fell on you especially again. “Make sure you come when I call,” he spoke demandingly, with no room to argue. This was an absolute order, one you wished you could ignore, but it only amplified the fear inside you.

When the door finally closed behind Korekiyo, you collapsed, unable to keep your composure as tears of shock filled your eyes. Gonta sunk to the ground with you. The only comfort he could offer was holding you tightly in his embrace, his head dropping on top of yours. At least for a little bit, you could hide inside his arms, but a million questions kept coming while you tried to calm down. You wished you could just go to bed and sleep, the nightmare finally being over when you opened your eyes again. But Gonta’s warmth reminded you this was no dream, only making you more agitated.

“What do we do now,” Gonta muttered into your hair, and you were so desperate to give him a positive answer, for a moment, you managed to lie to yourself.

“We’ll find a way. Maybe… maybe he’ll just let us go after a bit.”

It was the best you could do, but a lie nonetheless. You didn’t know what would happen, but the only thing you have in this situation was hope. 

Hope that it wouldn’t be as bad as the scenarios playing in your head.

[goldentournesol]

Solace

(Spencer Reid x Reader)

The one where plus size!Reader is struggling with her body image and Spencer gives her a boost of confidence.

Length: 2.8k (whew, i got really carried away, this hit home)

masterlist

“Good morning, lovely crime fighters!” Y/N chirped as she walked into the bullpen, holding a file which indicated that they had another case. She had replaced JJ as the communications liaison when JJ became a profiler. 

She was a hugger. She hugged everyone, hoping to make them feel more human as they took on the cruelest of the cruel. Everyone welcomed her hugs, even Spencer. Hell, especially Spencer. She was the BAU’s resident ray of sunshine and Spencer quickly realized how much he’d needed her positive energy in his life. Today, however, she gasped as she hugged him tight.

“Spencer, this cardigan is so soft!” She exclaimed excitedly, one of her hands running up and down one of the sleeves of his lavender cardigan. It was his favorite color. The action alone sent Spencer into a spiral of emotions. He didn’t know which to deal with first: his stomach erupting in butterflies, every inch of his skin heating up and reddening, or the fuzz she created in his brain.

“I-uh…um, y-yeah! It is!” Spencer stammered as she stared up at him.

Morgan and Emily exchanged a knowing look and scoffed at their coworker’s obliviousness. The two have been dancing around their feelings for each other and the entirety of the BAU took notice. They all filed into the conference room where Y/N presented them with the case.

“Time is of the essence with this case, wheels up in 30.” Hotch stated as he picked up his file and left.

The case was tough and almost all the leads were dead ends. A few days into the case, Spencer and Y/N were the only ones left in the police station. Spencer stared intensely at the geographical profile he’d created from his seat, hoping something new would come to him. Y/N picked at her dinner in boredom, but mostly out of a loss of appetite. Spencer noticed that she had her chin propped up by her palm, lost in her own thoughts.

“Hey, everything alright? You should really finish your dinner so you can get some energy.” His soft voice took her out of her head. He’d noticed how she hated eating in front of others, always preferring to eat alone. She gave him a weak smile and nodded, noticing that his takeout container was empty. 

“Yeah, I just…don’t feel like eating.” He nodded, understanding but also decided not to prod any further. He hoped she would confide in him if there was anything else on her mind.

They caught the unsub a day later and were on the jet back home before they knew it. Y/N took one of the window seats and immediately zoned out, eyes staring out the window into the blackness of the night sky. Her arms had automatically wrapped around her body in an attempt to hide it from the world. 

Spencer took the seat across from her and watched as she retreated into the darkness of her own mind. Even the sun had to set every day. She felt his gaze on her and somehow felt him scrutinize every inch of her skin. 

An hour went by and the air conditioning in the jet had gotten too cold for Y/N’s liking. Spencer looked up from his book to find her body shivering slightly, her hands only doing the best they could to warm her up as she tried to create warmth. Spencer reached into his go-bag and found the cardigan that she had complimented him on.

“Here, take this.” Spencer once again ripped her from her own head. His hand holding the soft piece of fabric as his arm extended to reach her. A look of panic danced across her features as she eyed it. She began to shake her head profusely.

“No, no, no! It’s okay! I’m f-fine, I don’t need it…” She sputtered out quickly. The truth is, she knew it wouldn’t fit her and she would rather stub her pinkie toe one hundred times than admit it.

“Y/N, you’re literally shivering. Just take it.” Spencer insisted, setting it down on the table between them.

“No, Spencer, you don’t understand. I can’t put it on.” She stated firmly. 

His confusion was evident on his features. Did she think he’d be grossed out if she put it on? Oh God, did it smell bad? No, he’s sure he washed it. She looked like she might cry, her eyes glossing over and her lip quivering slightly, it would have probably gone unnoticed by anyone else but him. Spencer’s heart shattered as a wave of realization hit him.

She thought it wouldn’t fit her. 

The material was quite elastic, he thought it could stretch on her a little but he didn’t mind at all. He knew his frame wasn’t large or impressive, but never in a million years had he meant to make her feel uncomfortable.

She saw the realization hit him and she wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball and disappear. The silence between them was deafening to her. 

“It’s alright, you don’t have to put it on if you don’t want to. You can just use it as a makeshift blanket.” He smiled softly, glancing down at the cardigan then back up at her. He saw her eyes soften slightly. 

She knew she’d break into tears if she used her voice so she resorted to nodding and giving him another of her weak smiles. He rested back into his seat after he watched her drape it over her figure. It smelled like him, like laundry detergent and coffee and it brought her a sense of comfort.

 After she made sure his attention went back to his book, she had no control over the tear that escaped from the corner of her eye. She quickly wiped it away with his cardigan. She didn’t even know what she was crying about. On one hand, Spencer was sweet enough to offer her his cardigan, but on the other, the dread she felt knowing it wouldn’t fit her was weighing her down. She knew he was just being Spencer and he didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable, but even the softest of fabrics couldn’t pull her away from her intrusive thoughts.

The rest of the journey was silent aside from the soft hum of Morgan’s music and the sound of Spencer turning pages. Y/N tried to get some sleep but couldn’t shake the thoughts away. As the plane landed, she folded up the cardigan neatly and returned it to Spencer, who just smiled and put it away. He knew he probably shouldn’t say anything, but he felt like he had to. Just as their feet reached the ground, Y/N began to take off in the direction of her car.

“Y/N, wait! Please.” Spencer called after her and she turned to him reluctantly. He made sure to wait until everyone else was out of earshot before he began stuttering nervously, “About earlier, I really hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable, t-that wasn’t my intention. I’m so sorry if I made you feel bad or anything.” His voice displayed true regret and she could practically hear the thumping of his heart against his chest. 

She smiled a little at the flustered doctor and shook her head. She rested her hand on top of his as it was clutching the strap of his messenger bag. She felt the muscles relax under her touch.

“Spencer, relax. I know you meant no harm. Thank you, I really appreciated it. You’re a sweetheart, it’s just difficult sometimes when…” she trailed off and shook her head when she couldn’t even begin to explain what she was feeling, “nevermind. It’s really late, I should get home.” She wasn’t exactly in the mood to bare her soul to Spencer about her body image issues. 

He nodded in understanding, hating that she felt that way. He was determined to make her feel better though. As they parted ways, Spencer thought of a way he could make it up to her.

Next Monday came around and Y/N walked through the bullpen to get to her office. Barely anyone had come in yet. She found a gift box sitting on top of her desk. Dumbfounded, she looked around to possibly find the culprit, but she couldn’t see anyone. She walked towards it and found a note taped to the top of the box. She recognized the handwriting immediately.

“This one’s all yours.” Spencer had scribbled as nicely as he could. 

She opened the box and reached in. Her sense of touch told her more information than her eyes could have. It was the same material of Spencer’s cardigan. She pulled it out  of the box to reveal the same exact cardigan he owned but in her own size. Warmth flooded through her heart and all the way out to the tips of her fingers. He went out of his way to make her feel happy and that alone melted away any negative feeling that had consumed her. She held the cardigan close to her chest as if it were a surrogate for Spencer as tears brimmed her eyes. She was so caught up in her emotions that she didn’t hear him come in.

He closed the door of her office slowly so as to not startle her and her eyes snapped up from the cardigan to meet with his warm ones as they tried to gauge her reaction. She didn’t even think to use her words so she made her way around the desk and wrapped him in a hug. His arms welcomed her and he felt a wave of relief hit him.

“Thank you, Spencer. You have no idea how much this means to me.You really didn’t have to do this.” she mumbled, her words muffled by her cheek against his chest. He bent his neck down and bravely placed a kiss to the top of her head.

“I’d do anything for you, Y/N.” He replied sweetly as his hands rubbed her back. He heard her sniffle into his chest. He raised a hand to rest it at the back of her head in hopes of seeing her face, “Is everything alright?” he asked as soon as she met his eyes. 

As she looked up at him, he saw the pain in her eyes but it was mixed with something else that he could only identify as adoration. Did she adore him as much as he hoped she would? 

She nodded slightly, not breaking eye contact with him. Having him this close was so nice, she had a hard time thinking again. His other hand came up to her face and she allowed for his thumb to gently wipe the tears from under her eyes. She smiled wider at the gesture and Spencer hoped his knees wouldn’t buckle under his weight.

“You’re an angel, Dr. Reid.” She teased and he smiled at the name, rolling his eyes playfully but kept a steady hand on her back and the other was cupping her face gently.

“So, do you wanna tell me what’s been going on up there?” He glanced up towards her forehead. Her smile faltered and he half-wished that he never asked. He felt her sigh against his chest and she pulled away from him.

“It’s nothing…” she began as she sat down in one of the chairs parallel to her desk, typically meant for visitors, “I don’t even know where to begin, Spence.” Her voice sounded defeated as she toyed with the cardigan in her hands. Spencer took a seat across from her but kept silent, hoping his silence would encourage her to continue.

“I know…I’m not…skinny and I don’t look like JJ or Emily or anything. And it’s really easy for me to get caught up in the self-deprecating thoughts, you know? And…most of the time I can just ignore it because I try my best to stay healthy and stuff, but sometimes it’s not enough and I start…” she broke off, huffing, “it doesn’t matter.” She shook her head, keeping her gaze floorbound.

He watched her in disbelief as she spoke, he had no idea she thought of herself that way, especially when he consistently thought she was the most beautiful woman in every single room she walked into.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to continue.” he reached for her hand with bravery and was delighted when she let him take it. She could feel how gentle he was with her and it made her heart flutter. 

“Listen to me, Y/N. I know how easy it can be to let ourselves succumb to the thoughts we have about ourselves. We always think we can define our worth by ourselves. But you don’t see it. You don’t see how beautiful you are. You don’t see the way your eyes light up like fireworks when you talk about something you’re excited about. You don’t see how we could practically use your smile as a flashlight from how bright it is. You also don’t get to hear your laugh, your real laugh, it’s so damn melodic I want to make it my ringtone. That sounds kind of creepy and I don’t know if that made any sense and I’m aware that I’m rambling, but my point is: you don’t know how beautiful you are to me. And I know the shape of your body bothers you, but honestly, you are the most beautiful woman in the world to me, not just because of what you look like but also because you are the most genuine person I’ve ever met. You’re magnetic and your pull is strong enough to send me spiraling, Y/N, even though that statement is technically impossible due to the laws of physics–but I won’t get into that at the moment. And if you don’t believe me now, I’ll spend the rest of my life telling you until you do believe it.” He took a deep breath after his confession. She was looking at him now, completely speechless with tears racing down her face. 

“I’m sorry if I overwhelmed you, Y/N. I just thought you needed to know how I felt about you.” Spencer stood, but she refused to let go of his hand, leading her to stand with him and tugged on it to keep him close to her.

“Spencer…you-” she began but she shook her head as if to gain control over her mental processes, “Spencer, you are my God given solace. You…you come in here and you literally sweep me off my feet and expect to run away? No, no, no. Now that I have you, I am never, ever, going to let you go.” She whispered the last part as she took hold of his tie and pulled on his tie gently to bring his face level with hers and pressing her lips to his gently. He reciprocated the gentle kiss and his hands found their way up to her face, cradling it and pulling it closer. He had never felt so flooded with emotion before that moment and all he could think about was her soft lips gliding against his and the way her hands rested on his chest. Soon, they pulled apart for breath and they both broke into the largest grins their faces could possibly muster.

“So…are you gonna try it on?” Spencer laughed as he took notice of the cardigan that was now laying on the floor. She had dropped it in the act of passion that had just occurred between them. 

She saw it and laughed, “Yes!” she picked it up from the floor and put it on quickly. She didn’t even care that it didn’t go well with her outfit. It fit her like a glove and Spencer couldn’t help but grin at her.

Outside her office, in the bullpen, Morgan sauntered over to Spencer’s desk with a coffee in his hand, “Where’s the kid?”

JJ and Emily nodded their heads towards Y/N’s office and Morgan let out an ‘ah’ of understanding, a knowing smile plastered across his features.

The door to her office swung open and the two of them walked out with grins literally reaching up to their ears. Morgan couldn’t help but whistle as he saw the way the young couple shared a loving look.

“Finally! My God, we were getting impatient!” Emily exclaimed as the pair made their way over to where they were sitting. Morgan immediately reached up to ruffle Spencer’s hair and Spencer swatted his hand away.

“Nice cardigan, Y/N.” JJ smirked and raised a brow at her friend and the pair shared another loving look.