#referring to yourself as a moonchild

[uhgood-girl]

so this video isn't directly about bts but i feel like it's super relevant to them and how there's actually some interesting science going on behind the infamous bts army glow up.

if you're unfamiliar, the bts army glow up is the long running theory? shared experience? amongst said army that listening to bangtan is life changing, usually in incredibly positive ways. your self confidence goes up, your heart grows wider, your view of the world changes, sometimes imperceptibly, sometimes outright. when you choose to engage with their music, and i think you get out as much as you put in, you are choosing to immerse yourself in a thoughtfully composed orchestra of genuine thoughts and feelings and philosophies curated by real human beings. which can be really difficult to find in this age of AI and algorithms. (fuck them, as a wise man once said) go further and choose to engage with them directly, beyond their music alone, and now you're straight up in the magic shop.

if bts were any less than outstanding, that type of power and influence would be terrifying. in the wrong hands, it has been terrifying before but call it some sort of cosmic, karmic balance to the rest of these times we're forced to live in, against all odds, they are good. they are good people. they're overarching messages are positive and deep and applicable to their own lives, it's not just for show. and even when/where they are flawed, they grow, and are made all the greater for it.

personally, they have raised the bar for all of the media i enjoy. i am low key disappointed when i cannot find the underlying meaning in something. this artist hasn't used any jungian theory/greek mythology/contemporary indie films/etc. references in their work? well, what am i supposed to do with that? lol and i'm not saying everything, always, should be an elucidated think piece, that there's no room for the dulcet tones of bubblegum pop (bts has plenty!) or whatever cotton candy equivalents of entertainment, those things have their place, for sure.

but you are what you eat? or in this case, listen to. be careful what you consume.

[darkstaria]

Yandere Batfam - Soulmate Soul Animal AU

Chapter 2:

Chapter 1. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5.

Taglist: @moonchild-artemisdaughter @jjsmeowthie @madine11-blog @xxrougefangxx

----

“No!”

Screaming, you rushed up. Breathe!

In, out. In, out. Blood raced.

In.

Out.

With a shuddering breath, you sighed. You became aware of a presence at your pillow. Glancing, you locked eyes with your second robin. Well, you called this bird a robin, but it was barely that.

The bird was covered in black feathers, with the exception being bright red that covered its head and a small part of its chest. It hardly resembled a robin anymore. This one, you referred to as Hood.

Hood gave a little chirp, hopping over to your lap. It settled down, providing a reassuring weight. You started petting it, just a little. Hood could always tell when you had this particular nightmare.

You didn't have nightmares often, but if you did, it was always the same one. It started simple, an unlucky mistake leading to the meeting of a soulmate (which was nightmarish enough). Your brain never really elaborated on the meeting, as if it couldn’t quite comprehend what it could be like. Instead, the horror appeared when you met your own soul animal.

It was impossible to meet your own soul form until you've met a soulmate, as the animal orbited those you were bound to. Many a novel has been dedicated to those discovering that their soul has taken some unfortunate form, and their journey of self-acceptance. One particular novel you were fond of had the protagonist learning to accept that their form was a snail.

But… in the nightmare, your form wasn't that of a snail. It wasn't the form of a snake, a grasshopper or even a turtle.

It was a robin.

A little, fluttering robin. In green. In yellow.

In red.

You always awoke after that.

You continued petting Hood. Pet pat, pet pat. It always let you have little leniencies like this, after your nightmares. You appreciated it.

For you, a robin was the worst form your soul could possibly have. You had tried previously to logic yourself out of this fear. What was so bad about being a robin? You had four of them already; they weren’t so bad, albeit annoying. You just couldn’t… stand the idea.

It reminded you of the blood on your hands. The sight never really left you. The bodies of soul animals didn't remain, they disappeared just as the soul did after death. The fact both comforted and reassured you. You didn't have to bury the body, but you also didn't have anything to mourn.

You had made a small grave anyway.

You cried. Just a little. Hood gave a small tweet of distress, raising itself up to you. You took the offer, picking the bird up and cuddling its face. Just a little.

You felt sick.

You two stayed like that a while, two souls sheltering from the world. You wondered if your soulmates ever did a similar thing with your soul form. It was times like this that had you considering reaching out. You brushed aside some feathers on Hood’s chest, revealing a faint, scarred Y.

Maybe not.

A scutter of wings could be heard from your kitchen. You groaned, lifting Hood off your lap as you slowly got up. Who was it this time?

Bleary eyes blinked, you slowly made your way over. You were joined by Hood, as it made itself a steady weight on your shoulder. Hood was always a little too heavy for you to carry about easily, but you decided to be kind by not complaining this time.

Staring into your kitchen, it took you a moment to understand the sight in front of you.

A robin darting about, as a bat watched from the top of your fridge. It was a typical image for your home, but why..

Why was the robin… purple? And, was that bat a little smaller than usual?

…

Oh, no.

Strength left your legs as you crumbled to the floor, just staring at the two with an empty gaze. Hood squawked in alarm, fluttering off your shoulder.

You had two new soulmates.

Goddamnit.

~ ~ ~ ~

Somehow, Spoiler and Orphan (you later figured out their identities, none of your soulbonds were subtle) weren't your first surprise bond. No, that dubious honor belonged to the fourth robin.

You had been a little exhausted after a long day being tormented by Wing’s affections. Occasionally Wing has rather clingy days, and it becomes impossible to leave the house. It had only gotten worse after the second robin’s demise. You endured.

As a result, you were sleeping in. That is, until the sounds of high pitched peeping noises stirred you from your slumber. You slowly awoke, your eyes meeting bright green.

“Aaagh!” You shrieked, jumping back and falling off the bed. “Owww.” Groaning, you slowly sat up, taking in the situation.

There was a baby bird. On your bed. “What…?” You muttered. The bird didn't have many feathers, but the ones that it did have were a mixture of black and green. It was this fact, alongside the bird being a robin, that made you register exactly what was going on.

“Ohh my god.” Your head was in your hands. That was how done you were. Most people stopped getting soulmates at one. Sometimes there were bonds of two, maybe even three. Having four bonds was already rather extraordinary (which is why you pretended all your robins were the same one), but now there was a fifth.

Well, at least the baby bird was cute. You reached out, extending a finger to pet it, when it snapped at you. With its beak and everything.

Betrayal.

Since when were baby birds aggressive? All your other soulmates were older than you so you never got to care for any of them. Now you finally have one, and it snaps at you.

Turning away from the bird, you mean to sulk a little, but get interrupted by the Bat fluttering right in front of you. You blink, and the next second it's perched right by your new soulmate. You stare, eagerly anticipating a conflict.

The baby bird stares at the Bat for a second, before making an adoring noise and resting under its wing.

What.

Suffice to say, your initial relationship with Robin didn't start off perfectly. It did seem to warm to you within a few weeks though, so you didn't feel too bad about it.

In all honesty, you were more concerned about what the existence of a fourth robin would mean for the third. Would it be a smooth transition? A simple bestowing of the title like it had been for the first and second robin?

Or would it be tainted with blood, another robin bleeding out in your palms. You shuddered.

You didn't want to find out.

~ ~ ~ ~

Adjusting to two new additions to your bond was a little strange. All your bonds so far had been birth ones, formed at the start of your existence (with the exception of Robin, which formed when Robin started his life). Spoiler and Orphan were delayed bonds, also known as fated bonds. They started later in life, generally after significant events, but they can just randomly pop up too.

Were you going to get a new bond every time Batman trained a new vigilante? Was being a vigilante a requirement? That has some odd implications for you, actually.

You didn't really want to become a ‘hero’.

Enough of that. A few days had passed since the emergence of your two new bonds, and you suspected that the rest of your soulmates had found the change to be about as surprising as you did.

You could tell, because for the first time in a literal month, you were alone! No bat watching from a corner, no bird fluttering around you. Just you, and complete, lovely, isolation.

Honestly, it was so quiet you were a little unnerved. You had gotten so used to the constant chirping and fluttering of wings.

As a result, you've left the house.

You enjoy a nice walk, taking in the sights you usually rush over. Settling into a coffee shop, you treat yourself to a cookie. It was fun just to enjoy the atmosphere for once, without the paranoia of having what occasionally felt like a literal flock of birds following you around.

You've almost finished your drink when a shadow falls over you. A lean man stands before you, clutching a coffee to himself as if it contained the secrets to life. You blink.

“Sorry, I was wondering if I could sit with you?” He gestured to the cafe, and you noticed all the other seats were occupied. Huh, you were so busy being infatuated with your current freedom that you didn't even notice.

“Ah, yeah that's fine.” You replied, giving a small smile.

He smiled back, settling down and pulling out a laptop. Your time passes in simple peace, him on his laptop, and you on your phone. A scuttering noise drew you away from your scrolling though, and you looked up to see a familiar scene.

A blue bird had landed on the man’s coffee, shaking it as if it was trying to knock it over. The laptop man was fighting back though, doing his best to preserve it.

“Ah.” You muttered, staring. They both turned to look at you, exactly at the same time. It was a little creepy.

“Apologies for disturbing you.” Coffee man said. The blue bird jumped off the coffee, turning to you.

“It's alright. Is that your soul animal?” You replied, watching the bird hop closer.

“Ah yeah, he is. My family can be annoying about my caffeine intake sometimes.” There was a pause. “He seems quite interested in you, though.” There was a question in that statement, and you had the inkling that this was leading up to something you wouldn't like.

“What type of animal is it? I can tell it's some type of bird but..” The bird had reached you now, hopping onto your raised hand.

“It's a raven…” The man continued on, starting a tangent about raven facts, but you were too distracted to listen. Instead, you were fixated on the bird that was nuzzling your hand in a very familiar manner.

A bird that wasn't a raven. A bird that recognised you.

A bird that was a robin.

Wing.

You felt like both laughing and crying. Here you are, celebrating finally getting some space from your soulmates, and you meet one? How ridiculous. This was a nightmare.

You need to leave, immediately.

You stood up, your chair making an awful screech as you did so. Coffee man looked a bit surprised, as you peeled Wing off you and handed it to him.

“Sorry about that.” You smiled. “I had some extra bird seed on me from feeding some birds today. Perhaps your soul animal could tell. I've got to be going though, maybe I'll see you some other time.” And with that, you start marching out the shop.

Maybe your behavior was suspicious, but you really couldn't afford to stick around. All it took was for one of your soul animals to appear on you and the game would be up. He’d instantly know that the soul animal would have appeared from your side of the connection. It would be over, the efforts of years upon years.

You couldn't let that happen.

“Wait!” A voice called out, the tapping of footsteps following. You swung back around, meeting the gaze of your soulmate. He extended a card to you.

“This is my number, perhaps we can text in the future. I know we didn't really talk, but I enjoyed your company.” He smiled. It would have been a nice scene if the sight didn't make your gut twist.

You took the card.

“Oh! And before I forget, my name’s Tim.”

You answered back, giving your name.

You prayed that he assumed the shakes of your body were due to the cold.

----

And that's the second chapter! Woohoo! Hope you all enjoyed it, since the third chapter is already half way done! I'm rather excited for it haha ^ ^

As always, feel free to reach out!

[not-goldy]

Thank you for your answer, I get it on some level. I’ve listened to their music for a while now but am new to this whole shipping thing, and it’s a wild ride for sure. Out of interest, which songs do people think are about JM? Apart from their actual song Friends? Why does part of me think that if this is the case maybe Tae needs new inspiration for his work or something. Someone of his own to love. He didn’t write he album though did he? It’s a crazy world out there I guess I didn’t release that a member would fuel the shipping wars, so wow if he does that.

It depends on how delusional one is. Could be a few or all of them if you're deranged 🤷🏾

I like to think of myself as moderately delusional so I stick to the basics.

You can check out his song about writing a letter to the moon which was inspired by a time he was alone in the park with Jimin late into the night

From 4'Oclock.

Other than the setting and moon references, he actually ever did write a letter to Jimin which he cried while reading it to him. He poured out his heart in that letter. Here, read it and cry

And theres one song he complained he wrote with the intention of singing it withJimin but a producer thought putting Jimin on it would be gay due to the lyrics.

Don't want to talk about the others cos it may sound controversial but do have a listen for yourself. And be mindful of the Jimin "symbolisms" or at least I like to call them that.

Whenever he talks about the moon in his songs we make the connection to Jimin- its obvious now due to JMs moon tattoos but there was a time people thought that was reaching.

The moonchild is Jimin. And it's not far fetched cos V is the same person who shared fan art of Jimin with the moon tats that he's currently spotting and all. Meaning he understands the connection between JM and the moon.

This has nothing to do with his songs but he used to complain a lot about a certain member gatekeeping Jimin to himself and not allowing him and Jimin to hang out. So for me when this theme recurrs in his music I feel he's alluding to Jimin cos why not dudes a menace🤣

Let's give Tae some credit. Don't blindly buy into the hateful rhetorics people spew about him.

He exposed the company for dragging their feet before allowing JM to debut. Exposed them for their homophobia towards Jimin. If anyone moves funny with Jimin trust him to expose them one way or the other. I'll actually bet my life on this.

Perhaps you should look into their friendship. V can be chaotic but he's loved Jimin so hard too and when he says he loves Jimin the most I don't think he's lying .

Jimin has a special place in his heart. Perhaps because he says Jimin was the one who showed up and out for him when his granny passed. I think he's going to be eternally grateful to JM for that.

Don't hate on Tae or Judge him based on his quirks. He's not one to fake his feelings so sometimes when he's annoyed with Jimin you can pick up on that energy. It doesn't mean he's evil. He just have bad days too.

Unfortunately the Fandom isn't as forgiving and would tear him apart for the least funny feelings towards Jimin.

They are friends.they are allowed to fight and make up. We shouldn't hold that over their heads when they "fight" argue or have a misunderstanding. Leave them room and space within their friendship to be ghetto with eachother. What matters is the bond they share the growth they experience as friends and how pure they try to be with eachother.

They are a work in progress

[tryskomys]

PSYCHO KILLER

Eddie Munson x OC

Masterlist

Best friends and resident Hawkins freaks Eddie Munson and Mairi Anderson get swept up in a real D&D adventure when their friends introduce them to the world of Upside Down after Eddie gets accused of the brutal murder of Chrissy Cunningham.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫

Notes: My first fanfiction in like, a really long time (as you can deduce from my activity on tumblr lol). I relish in the use of D&D this season so I want to put on paper as much as I can, because let’s face it, Eddie has our hearts. It’s a slowburn friends-to runaways-to lovers about two loners who feel like they don’t belong, but in fact belong to eachother. It’s not an explicitly Y/N fanfic, however I’ll try to minimize describing Mairi’s features so you can insert yourself into the story better if that works for you. So let’s see if you’ll like this! Each chapter has songs referenced in the story, so you can listen if you want!❤️

caution: nerdy shit, pop culture references, literal bloody mess and confusing D&D babbling ahead, enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Rebel Rebel

Chapter 2 - The Wild Boys

Chapter 3 - Layla

Chapter 4 - Dazed and Confused

Chapter 5 - In my time of dying

Chapter 6 - Burn

Chapter 7 - Psycho Killer

Chapter 8 - Gimme Shelter

Chapter 9 - Run Like Hell

Chapter 10 - Head Over Heels

Chapter 11 - Cat People (Putting Out Fire)

Chapter 12 - Tiny Dancer

Chapter 13 - No Quarter

Chapter 14 - Heroes

Chapter 15 - Paranoid

Chapter 16 - Seperate Ways (Worlds Apart)

A sneak peak at the finale…

Chapter 17 - Moonchild

Chapter 18 - Born in the U.S.A.

Chapter 19 - Master of Puppets

Chapter 20 - When It’s Cold I’d Like to Die

Chapter 21 - Dust In The Wind

Chapter 22 - Fairies Wear Boots

to be continued…

・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・● ●・○・●・

One-shots:

Strange Brew (tamely explicit)

Abracadabra - I, II, III

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫

Tag list: @kik51199 @preciousbabypeter @sebby-staan @sleepysl0th03 @grungegrrrl

[dreamiesdotcom]

[4:31] It took one look for Jaemin to be haunted by you, and after realizing this, he thinks, ‘damn it, moonchild.’

About the moon, the moon was bright tonight. He thinks he'd probably be able to draw a realistic moon with no reference, what with every night going out with Y/N to watch it. Ah, about Y/N...

Well the moon was prettier tonight than ever. It burned so bright it was like the sun, the pavement glowed gray and the streetlights couldn't be bothered to light up properly. Y/N, well, Y/N was... Y/N was just awesome.

"Hey, Jaemin, I think the moon looks tasty."

And sometimes, well, you tend to say weird stuff. But he thinks even that makes you awesome!

(How do you live, eternally glorified by your flaws? Like a stray brush stroke.)

You were someone Jaemin loves. Moonlight spilled on your skin like mercury. Except Mercury was a glorified mask and you were an open wound. Moonlight was the stage lighting to show the world your blooming doom.

"Does it?" He turns his attention at you, "Well I think you're hungry."

"Exactly, I'm treating you to the convenience store!" Bright smile. Do you get tired of them? Do you run out? Your eyes form crescents of its own and he thinks you're divine; what else could you do? No, no no, what could you even not do?

He never understood you. You were a framed painting to him; he was always watching you with the same devotion of a child who wants to know everything there is to know in the world, yearning to be the smartest person in the room. He loved you like the child he was, hiding behind his mother's warmth, reading people's faces.

You said you were hungry but you bought more food for him than you did yourself. He asked to pay but you glared at him. He could never understand you. You would give, and give, and would refuse to take.

Deep inside his mind he knew it was because you didn't want to seem selfish.

He could never expect anything from you but a blur from realism and romanticism. At once you were a magnifying glass and rose-colored lenses.

As you, to him, were a painting, he could try to understand you, but he would only be confused until he accepts that you were just there, made to be felt.

Like the sun, like a miracle — you could touch everyone but nothing touches you.

Had he really expected you to fall? You were awesome, divine, you were standing on the moon — it would be such a big height to fall from.

If you fall like meteors from the sky, you'd fall so quick he wouldn't know how to catch you.

So he watches you dance from afar, like a child watching a painting, hiding behind his mother's warmth, reading people's faces. You could touch him but he could never touch you.

He thinks, ‘damn it, moonchild.’

[bangtan-madi]

546 Days Without You — Five: Day 44

Pairing — Seokjin x Reader

Tags — boyfriend!Seokjin, older brother!Yoongi, producer/songwriter!MC, military au (ish), idol au (ish)

Genre — fluff, angst

Word Count — 2.1k

Summary — Kim Seokjin is your entire world, and that world falls apart the moment he and your older brother Yoongi are conscripted into the South Korean military.

Part — 5 / 15

Warnings — Do I even have to say enlistment at this point? Last chapter with a warning for that. By now, you know that every post will at least reference it.

A/N — So someone asked about a taglist for this fic, and I think it’s a great idea! The list is at the bottom and it’s open! Comment if you’d like me to add you to the taglist and I’ll get you on there for future updates :)

(gif not mine. credit to original creator.)

Previous — Next

By mid-January, everyone is finally starting to get back to normal. After Hoseok's timely intervention, the holidays were a joyful time for the band. While there weren't any events or parties or New Year's Rockin' Eve, like last year, you were silently glad that peace was returning.

As the new year passes, everyone is pumped up and motivated to continue working on the next album. While still in the pre-production stages—melodies, lyrics, and concepts being solidified and meddled with—there are few places you'd rather be. Right in the middle of the chaos that is BTS, crafting alongside the boys, that's your happy place.

That's what dreams are made of.

"I'm kinda in love with this concept, not gonna lie," Namjoon laughs, reclining back in one of the studio chairs.

He's been behind the glass, practicing what you have so far on the namesake track for the next album, but you've hit a spot in the bridge that's more difficult than the last. Despite that, Namjoon has been much cheerier and light than usual. He adores this process, lives for it. It seems that the moonchild gets his best ideas when alone in the studio, after everyone else has long since gone home.

You, however, are about ready to hit your head against the desk. "I love it like my brothers; every now and then I want to kill them."

Namjoon snorts as you drop your tablet into your lap and let your head lull back. "I understand how you feel."

"No, you don't. Your big, genius brain thought up all of this. You get psychology and archetypes and theory like no one else, Joon. I mean, I knew we were going with another chapter of Map of the Soul, but don't you think 'Dream' is a little...I don't know, audacious?"

He smiles, showing off his dimples. "I prefer forward-thinking."

Your head turns back to the tablet, seeing the basic outline of the song in front of you. "Dream" was one that you and Namjoon were working on together. He had started the process with Yoongi, and thought it only right to end it with you. He and the Mins have always worked best together, and this song was going to be something special.

"Speaking of forward-thinking, I want to show you something."

Namjoon slips from his chair and scurries over to the producing equipment. Using the computer, he pulls up a file called, "From KSJ's, To MYN 2020.10.24."

"What's that?" you ask, the title of the file catching your eye.

"I'll show you if you promise to not cry."

"Um, why would I do that?"

Instead of answering, Namjoon clicks twice. It's an audio file, and you're overcome instantly with a voice you'd recognize anywhere.

Seokjin's angelic vocals start off soft and sweet, humming a peaceful melody that you've never heard before. Then they shift into soothing lyrics, and you can tell that they're meant for you. Phrases of love and emotion fill your ears, and breaking your promise to Namjoon, tears begin to brim. Seokjin's voice grows stronger as he belts out the chorus with all his heart. You've never heard him hit notes like that.

As the song comes to a close, Seokjin whispers the last line, adding to the end, "Love you, Jagi."

Silence follows. You can't bring yourself to move or speak or think of anything other than the beautiful song he'd recorded for you. Namjoon sits with you, in the quiet, eyes shifting every few moments to you then back to the equipment.

October 24th. That was the day you'd spent recording with Jungkook, the day Seokjin finished early, the day before he decided to enlist. He'd been awfully dodgy about his recording of that day. You had no idea what he was working on, only assuming that he was recording one of his parts for the new album's couple songs that had been pre-produced.

You never dreamed he was singing something just for you.

"He told me to show it to you after you were in a well enough head-space," Namjoon eventually says. "Saying goodbye's never been our strong suit. He wanted to make you feel like he was still here."

"It's beautiful," you murmur, your voice a whisper.

"Jin was thinking about including it on the upcoming album. He wanted you to make the final call. If you want to keep it just for yourself, that's totally okay. BigHit doesn't know about the piece, so we can keep it between us three if that's what you want."

You shake your head, turning to your friend with a small smile. "It's too pretty to keep to myself. The Army will love it. Seokjin deserves to be the one doted on for his solo. Put it on the roster."

Namjoon looks pleased with your decision, his dimples reappearing. "Maybe we should take off the message at the end, though. It might add to the rumors that have been circulating."

"By the time the album comes out, no one will remember me or those stupid rumors," you wave away his concern. "Keep it in. Jinnie left an 'I love you, Army,' message at the end of 'Moon' for the iTunes store. They'll probably think it's for them."

"And you would be okay with that?"

"More than okay." You nod to the computer. "Can—Can we listen to it again? One more time?"

Namjoon is happy to oblige, and the two of you settle in for another listen to Seokjin's last song.

After finishing at the studio, you decide to gather the courage and make the trek back to your apartment. Back home. It's late, and while the dorms might be closer, you know in your heart that it's time to face the music. It's been time for a while, but you've been too afraid of the shadows inside you to do the hard thing.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Namjoon offers, when you tell him your plans to stay at the apartment tonight.

You give the tall man a shoulder pat and shake of your head. "I'm good, Joonie. Thanks, though. You head home. I'll be by first thing in the morning. Tell the boys for me?"

Namjoon nods once, gives you a goodbye hug, and slips something into your hand as he turns to leave. "For you, from Seokjin."

When you open your hand, you mumble a soft "thank you" to the man already walking towards the dorms.

It's a thumb-drive with your name written in Seokjin's sloppy penmanship.

When you arrive at the apartment, passing through the gate and security, it takes all your courage to press the elevator button for your floor. Your heart races in anticipation. You haven't felt this nervous about going home since Seokjin asked you to move in.

But this is an entirely different type of nervousness. You have no idea how you'll feel when those doors open, when you put the key into the doorknob, when you enter the last place Seokjin and you slept side by side. Will you feel empty inside without him there, like it did right after he left? Or will you feel comfort from being around his things, like you feel around Yoongi's?

Only one way to know. With a burst of bravery, you step from the elevator, march up to your apartment door, and push inside.

The entrance corridor is dark, and the entire place is silent. You're used to music being on when you enter. If you're not playing something when you walk in, Seokjin has his playlist going in the background. And it's almost never dark. Even when no one is home, your silly boyfriend likes to leave some smaller lights on so that he wouldn't get scared. A smile graces your face at the memory.

Flicking the light switch, the entire space is illuminated with a soft, golden glow. With intrepid determination, you make your way to the kitchen, stepping over a pile of postage that's been slid under your door over the past few weeks. You put a kettle of water on the stove top. You take deep breaths, allowing the area around you to settle in your mind. Tea will help; tea always helps.

As the water comes to a boil, you tip-toe down the hallway to the master bedroom. It's exactly how you left it. Clothes are strewn across the furniture as you packed in a hurry. Those first few days after Seokjin and Yoongi left were the worst, and after the second, you knew you couldn't stay there any longer. You packed what you could find and fled to the safety of the dorms. While you could feel Seokjin everywhere, there was no place you felt him more than the bedroom you shared.

He's everywhere. In the clothing that has overtaken your closet, in the Mario knickknacks along the dresser, in the scent of air freshener that he adores, in the plethora of skincare and hair care products that he uses, even in the choice of bedding (he loves one particular kind of sheets that make everything cool on warm nights.) His smell, his belongings, him.

Seokjin is still everywhere, but this time you take it in with ease. This time, it doesn't hurt as much. This time, it gives you a little bit of peace.

As you feel the silence start to creep up on you, you take the thumb drive, plug it into your laptop, and play the only file in storage. Seokjin's voice fills the void, ever-present and comforting in your time of need. Even in the military, he's making sure you're cared for and feeling loved.

The warm feeling floods through you as you change into one of his baby pink sweaters, discarding the emotions and stress of the day along with your clothes. You make your tea, curl up in bed, and let Seokjin sing you to sleep.

It's the first night of dreamless sleep you've had since he left.

Early the next morning, as you're getting ready to head to the boys' dorms, there's a knock on your door. A small envelope is slid under your door, the usual way small post is delivered to each apartment by the attendant in the lobby. You pick it up, noticing the seal of the South Korean military on the face.

Seokjin. Your heart flutters when you realize this might be from him.

With hurried fingers, you tear open the parchment and reveal a neatly typed letter inside. Your eyes begin to take in what it says, never more happy to see an actual paper letter in your life.

Jagiya,

Please don't laugh at my lame attempt at a love letter. I wish I could just pick up the phone and call or text you, but we're not allowed those privileges for another few months. So, instead, I'm stuck typing everything out to send you the old-fashioned way. Make fun of me all you want when I get back.

Everything has been going well at basic training. Yoongi and I have been able to stick together since we're in the same training facility. We will graduate soon and be sent to our assigned units, more than likely splitting up. I'm hoping for a more lenient one closer to Seoul, that way my personal days can be spent in the city with you and the boys, but that's out of my control. I don't want you to worry! Both Yoongi and I are keeping our spirits up, and I hope you are doing the same.

Give my love and annoying hugs to the members. Tell my parents and hyung that I love them, too. They only let me send one damn letter, so it had to be to you. But I'll never hear the end of it if I don't at least mention the boys. You know how they can get. 

Yoongi is going to write to you soon, and his letter should come shortly after mine. Knowing him, it will be much more poetic than mine. But at least I beat him to the finish line!

Please take care of yourself. Write me back, and I'll try to respond as quickly as I can.

I love you and miss you more every day, [Y/n]. Just promise me you won't find some other loser to date while I'm away! I'm still worldwide handsome, you know, even in the military.

Forever yours,

Seokjin

P.S. I hope you enjoyed your song ♡

Taglist — @joyful-jimin​

[freddiesaysalright]

Beautiful Mess Part 10

A Brian May x Reader Fic

Summary: Reader works in a bookshop. She meets Brian May and they have an instant connection. It seems to be a fairy tale romance. But, things are seldom what they seem.

Word Count: 3k

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession​, @minigranger​, @crazyweirdocalledfriday​, @mrs-jack-murphy​, @not-john-watsons-blog​, @simmisblog​, @mirkwoodshewolf​, @assembledherethevolunteers​, @thosequeenboys​, @lv7867​, @maymacca​, @rethought​, @brianslittlepet​, @jinxy93​, @stephydearestxo​, @mrcleanisthicc​, @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​, @readinghorn​, @lookuptotheskiesandsee​, @reedusteinrambles​, @borhapqueen92​, @1204-moonchild​ If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: So, I’ve had a couple people ask how many parts there are going to be to this story, and I think there is going to be one more part and MAYBE an epilogue. Idk, I didn’t plan this story as well as my last one so it depends on how the next part goes. Anyway enjoy this update!

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9

Part 10 here we go!!!

Things were appearing to fall into place. You and Brian were going strong as a couple. The window was being installed in the shop. You were on good terms with the Kimballs. The prosecution of the man who had held you up was going well because he decided to plead guilty to all of the charges. The evidence against him was overwhelming, and you and Brian could easily identify him, having spent so much time in close quarters.

You were happy about all of that. Truly, you were. But the fact that Richard was dying clouded a lot of your joy. It hung over you day and night. You began to regret agreeing to be with him at the end of his life because you weren’t sure you could stand back and let him go. Then again, that wasn’t really up to you.

You dwelled on this as you got ready for the New Year’s party. Your makeup and hair were already done. You had on a tight black dress and some matching heels. You were putting in your earrings when Brian entered the bathroom.

“You ready to - oh, wow,” he sighed as he took you in.

He looked handsome in his suit. You’d gotten it for him as a late Christmas gift. He complained that suit jackets rarely fit the length of his arms, so you got him something tailored just for him.

You smirked. “You like it?”

“You look incredible,” he told you, coming up behind you and wrapping his long arms around your waist. He kissed your neck. “Good enough to eat.”

You closed your eyes to his warmth and hummed with contentment.

“And maybe I will before the night’s over,” he said huskily into your ear.

“So naughty, baby,” you replied with a giggle.

“Can’t help it, when you look this good,” he returned. 

He pressed his lips to your shoulder. You sighed.

“Brian, don’t,” you said halfheartedly. “If we start now, we’ll never make it to the party on time.”

His lips trailed back up to your neck.

“Then we’ll be late,” he murmured. 

“We can’t, baby, we - oh, Brian,” you moaned lightly when his tongue circled a sensitive spot by your ear, and your stomach turned with fresh desire.

“Just a quickie,” he suggested, holding you tighter against him.

“As much as I want to,” you laughed. “We can’t. We’ll just have to wait until we get home.”

He chuckled. “Very well then. You’ve always been worth the wait.”

You beamed at him, turning in his arms to face him. You stood on your toes to kiss his cheek sweetly. 

“You are so good to me,” you praised.

His shy smile made your heart melt and nearly reconsider your firm stance.

“Come on, dove,” he said. “Charlie sent a car for us.”

Your mouth dropped. “And you were really trying for a quickie?”

He laughed. “Yeah. But can you blame me?”

He gestured toward the mirror again. You did look really hot.

“Okay, I suppose that’s fair.”

Giggling together, you went to the front door. Brian helped you into your coat and then you climbed into the backseat. The chauffeur held the door open for you, and then closed it once you were both in before returning to the driver’s seat.

You looked on the streets of London as the car sped past. The lights and the people struck you suddenly as very beautiful. You were becoming a lot more sentimental about things lately. Just the way the city looked on this lovely winter night made something in your heart stir. You looked over at Brian and took his hand.

“I’m so happy to be sharing all of this with you,” you said.

His brow wrinkled as he looked at you. “All of what?”

“Just...life,” you said. “Everything.”

He smiled at you again and you scooted closer to him. He kissed the top of your head.

“As scary as that night was,” he said, and you didn’t have to ask him which night he was referring to. “I’m sort of glad it happened.”

“Yeah?” you wondered.

“If it made you realize you wanted to be with me, I think it was worth it,” he said.

“Brian, you got shot,” you reminded him.

“I know,” he said with a light laugh. “But my arm healed. That pain passed. And now we have forever.”

“You really think I’m worth all that?” you questioned.

“All that and more,” he assured you. 

You smiled and relaxed against him. The city disappeared behind you as you headed out to the Kimballs’ home. It was remote, since it was such a large building. In fact, it was more of a mansion than a house. You remembered as a child wondering why Richard’s house was so big, when you and your family had something small. Well, small by comparison. But as time went on, and when you eventually moved into the Kimball house, it became normal to you.

Brian, on the other hand, was astounded.

“My God!” he cried. “That’s massive!”

“Yeah, Charlie really wanted to show off,” you replied with a shrug. “It is a bit much for just the three of them, but y’know, rich people will always be rich people.”

“Well, I’m not exactly a pauper, but holy shit,” Brian said.

The chauffeur pulled up to the front door, behind a whole line of cars, letting guests out to make their way up to the door. Brian helped you of the car and then together you climbed the large stone steps. The door was propped open, but the cold bothered no one. The party was packed with bodies, and a fire crackled in the fireplace of each room.

Someone took your jackets for you and then you made your way through the crowd, looking for any sign of Richard or Charlie or Susan. You found them in the second sitting room, with some more of their closest friends.

“Y/N, darling!” Susan cried, getting to her feet to come and embrace you.

“Mama!” you replied, inhaling deeply.

Her perfume had been the same all your life. It had a warm, vanilla scent, and it always made you feel at home. It lingered everywhere she went.

“How are you?” she asked, pulling back to look at you. “Richard told me about the ghastly business at the shop, and I’m so sorry you went through all that. You’re recovering alright?”

“I am, Mama, please don’t fuss,” you replied. “Have you met Brian?”

You reached back and took his arm, pulling him closer. Susan hugged him.

“And of course you were the one who got really hurt,” she said. “How’s the arm?”

“Perfect,” he told her. “Thank you, Mrs. Kimball.”

“You may call me Susan, Brian dear, don’t be silly,” she said with a welcoming smile. “We’re so happy for you and Y/N.”

She looked at you once more.

“All we ever want is for you to be happy, darling,” she said gently, cupping your cheek with her hand. “I do hope you can forgive us for being so blind.”

“All is forgiven,” you said. “You acceptance of all of this means more than you know.”

She beamed and then ushered you into the room to greet Charlie and Richard. Charlie shook hands with Brian and Richard kissed your cheek.

“How are you?” you asked, looking him once over.

“Relax, Y/N, I’m not going to collapse or anything,” he returned. “Do try and enjoy yourself. It’s a party.”

“But you -”

You were cut off when Brian approached and greeted Richard. Charlie took that opportunity to squeeze you in his arms. You laughed as he let go, and you saw he had already had a lot to drink. His cheeks were rosy and his breath smelled of whiskey.

“Papa, you seem to be enjoying yourself,” you giggled.

“It’s a new year, darling girl, which means tons of new opportunities,” he returned. 

He pinched your cheek and wandered off, greeting another guest. You were a bit shocked by his positive outlook. This was also the year he would lose his son. Didn’t anybody remember that? 

You started mingling, introducing Brian to other guests, many of whom were thrilled to meet him. Brian got along great with them, answering their questions about life as a rock star and discussing music of all kinds.

“And what has Queen got planned for the new year?” asked a business colleague of Charlie’s.

“Great stuff,” Brian replied. “The album’s coming out next month, so we’ll be on tour in March.”

“Where will you be touring?” the man’s wife asked.

“We’re starting the US, actually…”

Brian continued to talk, but you could hardly hear. He never told you he was going on tour so soon. That was when you would be heading to Switzerland. You had sort of been counting on Brian coming with you because to see Richard go alone...you weren’t sure you could handle something like that. Now, you and Brian were going to be separated. Disappointment disguised as anger made you turn your eyes sharply on your boyfriend.

“When were you planning on telling me this?” you asked, cutting across him.

“Sometime this week, I suppose,” he said, his eyes questioning you already. “What’s the matter?”

You looked away. “Nothing. I need some air.”

You swept away, leaving Brian confused, and headed toward the balcony. You stepped outside and wrapped your arms around yourself against the chill. Only one other person was out there, braving the cold. Richard.

“Hey,” he said. “You alright?”

He had just lit a cigarette and held it between his fingers. You reached out and took it from him, bringing it toward your lips. His eyes searched your face.

“I thought you didn’t smoke,” he said.

“I don’t,” you snapped, and took a drag.

He chuckled, retrieving another out of his pack and lighting it. You shivered, so Richard wrapped his scarf around your shoulders. You nodded your thanks. You were about to ask what he was doing out here, when you heard your name. You both turned to see Brian jogging out onto the balcony.

“What the hell was that about?” Brian demanded as he approached.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Richard said, and slipped away.

Your eyes followed him to the door. He put out his cigarette, but tucked it into his pocket to smoke again later. Brian ignored Richard entirely, eyes fixed on you.

Guilt started to creep up your spine. You felt you had been unfair. Brian had every intention of telling you he was going on tour, it just happened to come out at this party. But, that wasn’t what  you were really upset about. 

“Care to explain yourself?” Brian asked.

“I’m sorry,” you said shortly. “It was just unexpected, that’s all.”

“What was?” he pressed. “That we’re going on tour? How do - Y/N, are you smoking?”

“No,” you said hurriedly and flicked the cigarette away.

“What’s going on?” Brian said, his tone surprisingly gentle.

“You’re going away,” you said quietly. 

For a moment, you wondered if he’d heard you since he didn’t answer. You met his eyes again.

“And I’m really going to miss you,” you admitted. 

His body relaxed as he stepped toward you. His expression softened. 

“That’s not all, is it?”

You took a deep breath.

“I don’t understand how everyone can act like nothing’s wrong!” you blurted out. “This year isn’t something to celebrate! He’s going to...he’s going to die!”

You choked on the last word as a tear slipped down your cheek. Brian folded you into his arms and you held back another sob.

“And now, we’re going to be apart,” you whimpered. “It’s not permanent, I know. But it doesn’t make that any easier. Especially since it’s when I’m going to need you most.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t even realize you wanted me there.”

A beat passed and you sniffled before burying your face in his chest.

“I think it’s better this way,” he went on. “I think you and Richard will need that time for just the two of you.”

“I can’t do it, Brian,” you whispered. “I can’t watch him die.”

“You’ve got to,” he returned. “You can be strong for him. I know you can.”

You shook your head.

“D’you want to go home?” he offered.

“I can’t, not without them asking questions,” you said. “I just don’t feel much like celebrating.”

“Well, there’s a lot to be thankful for, dove,” he said. “You and I are both alive. We’re together. Your family is incredibly happy for us. That counts for something.”

“Of course it does,” you replied. “But I can’t think about anything other than Richard.”

Just then, you heard the crowd inside begin counting down.

“I know this year is going to be difficult,” Brian said. “But there’s going to be so much of it that’s amazing, I promise.”

You looked into his eyes. 

“We’re going to have our first full year together,” he said. “You can come and see us on tour. We’ll find a house together. You’re going to have a whole new business to take care of. Richard’s passing isn’t going to be easy, but you can’t let it make you forget all the wonderful things coming as well.”

You nodded, snuggling closer to him.

“Five…four...three…two...” the gathering chanted.

Brian’s eyes reflected everything that was magnificent about your life.

“Now, forget everything I just said and kiss me,” he told you with a grin.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” the crowd inside shouted.

Auld Lang Syne sounded over the speakers as Brian’s lips claimed yours. For this moment, as one year died and another began, you could forget your sorrow. Brian was a wonderful, shining light in your life. You felt that as long as you had him, you had something worth being joyful for.

“Happy New Year,” you said with a small smile as you parted.

“Happy New Year, dove,” he returned.

***5 Months Later***

Brian was exhausted. Tour was only halfway over. You were still in Switzerland. He missed you so terribly that he ached, but there was nothing to be done. Richard was reaching the end of his life, but he had not gone yet.

This night, Brian was so grateful to see the bed of his hotel room. He had to avoid after parties and the like because temptation lurked around every corner. Not that he really thought he would be unfaithful to you, but it embarrassed him to have to turn away the women that approached him, and he didn’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings.

As he flopped into the squishy pillows and closed his eyes, he groaned as he waited for sleep to overtake him. He needed a shower, but he couldn’t be bothered. All he wanted was to sleep.

But it didn’t come.

With a groan, he got up and decided to go ahead and shower. Perhaps getting the grime and sweat off would help him be more comfortable going to bed. The shower was hot, and as the water ran down his skin, he spied the scar on his arm from the night he was shot. Naturally, he next thoughts were of you.

The parting was dreadful for you both. You went with him to the airport, and you were a tad weepy as you said goodbye, but both of you held it together. The image of your watery eyes as he kissed you once more was burned into his mind. He hated to see you so upset.

He called you almost every day. You always asked how the show went the night before, and he usually had a great story of something that went wrong or something incredible Freddie did during the show. You told him a bit about Richard, but as the weeks wore on, you became more reluctant to talk about it. Brian understood.

As he lathered some shampoo into his curls, he recalled your last night together. It was really something special. Your lovemaking was slow and passionate. Desperate to feel every inch of each other and commit it all to memory before being apart. It made his throat a little dry to think of the way you had sounded as he had worshiped your body.

Fuck, he missed you.

He rinsed off, grabbed a towel, and dried himself as well as he could. He fished around in his suitcase for a clean pair of boxers and a t-shirt. As he slipped them on and crawled into bed, he tried to imagine you were there with him. Your soft curves pressed into him. The smell of your hair sinking into the pillows. The sound of your breath evening out.

Even that did not make sleep come.

He considered calling you, but it was much too late for that. It was about six in the morning where you were, and he didn’t want to disturb any rest he hoped you were getting. The last time he’d spoken to you, you sounded tired beyond belief. Emotionally fatigued.

Sleep continued to elude him, so Brian turned on the television. Nothing particularly interesting was on, so he quickly switched it back off and picked up the book you loaned him. It was a favorite of yours. Emma by Jane Austen. Brian had never read it before. He had read Pride and Prejudice as well as Sense and Sensibility in his school days, but when he went to university, he hardly read any novels. It was all scientific theses and papers. It had been years probably since he’d read a work of fiction.

As his eyes scanned the page, he noticed a place you had underlined. It read “Without music, life would be a blank to me.” In the margin, you had written “Brian.” His heart warmed at the sight. You thought of him even when wrapped up in a book. He was hit with such a wave of affection for you, he once again considered calling you just to tell you how sweet you were.

Just then, the phone rang. His heart broke. Something in his gut told him it was you, and there was no way it was good news at this hour.

He picked up the receiver. 

“Hello?”

“He’s gone!” you wailed on the other end. “Oh, God, Brian, he’s gone!”

A lump formed in his throat at the sound of your voice.

“I’m so sorry, dove,” he said. 

“He’s gone…”

[jincherie]

intermission • iii | moonchild

• ☽ — pairing: bts x reader • ☽ — genre: crack, fluff, angst, college/uni au • ☽ — words: 4.6k • ☽ — rating: sfw • ☽ — warnings: rabid old ladies and tree-climbing shenanigans • ☽ — notes: another intermission! this is my last part for now, miss zee will be writing the next two and then we will see my return!!!! but until then, please indulge us n show miss zee some love!! she works hard for it :’< also because with zee’s next chapter... we see a bit of a twist arise!

— posted; 09.06.2019

When the love letter you wrote and submitted as an assignment is leaked to the entirety of your university, it becomes a race against time to dispel rumours and convince the seven suspected muses of the poem that they aren’t the subject before anyone realises that you are the author. Easy, right? Well… maybe not as easy as you think.

— • masterlist | prev | intermission iii | next • —

— some time in first year —

 The afternoon air is cool and the sun is a soft, comforting warmth against the exposed parts of Kim Namjoon’s skin, chasing away the slight bite of the cold that lingers in the breeze due the transitional season as he walks home. He’s just finished fulfilling his third ‘help wanted’ poster duty of the day, collecting the sheets, both handwritten and printed alike, from shopping mall billboards like Pokémon. He has a thick wad of them folded up and wedged in his back pocket (he’d forgotten his trusty messenger bag this morning that, despite being two snapped threads away from falling apart completely, has always managed to see him through the day) and a comparatively much smaller wad in his other back pocket, of the odd jobs his managed to complete through the week.

His rationale for being such an upstanding citizen and going out of his way to help anyone and everyone he can? Two things—experience, and references. He knows it’s a harsh world, and to succeed you have to prepare yourself as much as possible for everything to come. So when the time comes that he steps into the adult, working world after graduating… he doesn’t doubt he’s going to be one of the best prepared people they’ve ever seen.

Plus, sometimes the little old ladies and distraught pet owners he helped gave him a few dollars as a tip. Unnecessary and not something he asks for, but Namjoon isn’t one to turn away a gift when it could do wonders for his loose change jar. It satisfies him to see the little glass thing with a cork lid get fuller and fuller each weak. He blames the deep, primal part of his monkey brain that likes seeing a big collection of shiny objects like coins. It sparks joy, one could say.

The odd job he’s just completed was a little dryer than the rest, if he’s being honest. It was much simpler than the ad for it had made out— just helping some fellow uni student as clueless as him fix their broken toilet roll. All he had to do was find the screw that came out and the student gave him, like, a whole box of frozen chicken patties in return. Which… isn’t so bad but also, Namjoon considers himself an intellectual and while he may be bought by food he still longs for a mental challenge. So despite how usually he gets in about three a day, on a good day, but even thought this is his third one he’s still… hungry for more. He’s also hungry in the literal sense; the last job made him miss lunch and now his stomach is performing an acapella version of ‘feed me, feed me, you bastard’. A classic hit, one he is especially familiar with. He’ll have to rifle through the papers in his back pocket and suss out whether any of the posters seem the type to provide food for the help.

He’s still toying with the idea when he happens across an unexpected scenario that seems to have been dropped into his path by the fates themselves. Along one side of the footpath are suburban homes and their small front yards and cute little mailboxes, and to the other is the occasional tree and then the plain asphalt of the road. About a yard in front of him, just far enough that he can’t really see even with his glasses on, there seems to be a bit of a commotion occurring near one of the larger trees lining the street.

Excitement probably shouldn’t be his first reaction, but it is, and Namjoon hurries his long-legged gait so that he can reach the spectacle sooner. He doesn’t know what he looked like but walking like this, he feels a bit like those spiders with the tiny bodies and disproportionately long, spindly legs. And here he is, going to help out like the friendly neighbourhood spiderman. He slapped his thigh, eyes wide. He might be an iron man enthusiast at heart, but damn that’s a good line for his resume.

The closer Namjoon gets to the commotion he’d spotted from afar, the more he realises he might have hit jackpot. The source of the loud yelling and frantic movements seems to be a woman, a little on the elderly side, with her wild salt and pepper curls defying gravity in some places and clumping in others—it takes Namjoon a moment to realise that she’s actually attempted to tie her hair back and that’s why it looks a little bit deformed from the distance. As he draws closer, he notes that she looks a little unhinged. His reaction to such a thing should be caution, and he should feel wary, but all he can think is hell yes this woman clearly needs help and he is going to help her, damn it.

“Pudding, come down! Please! I’m sorry for calling you fat, Pudding! I didn’t mean it!”

As soon as he’s within earshot, he hears the woman sobbing hysterically as she claws at the thick trunk of the tree. She’s too small to reach the lowest hanging branch, and has taken to draping herself pitifully against the leaning trunk as she scrabbles against the bark with her nails. The woman wails, pitifully, voice piercing the air like a siren, or a banshee, “Pudding!”

Confused as he may be, he’s sure that as soon as he asks the lady what happened, he’ll be as clued in as possible. Namjoon clears his throat and composes himself, before stepping forward and speaking loud enough that the woman can hear him over her own loud weeping.

“Excuse me, ma’am, is everything alright? Do you require assistance of any kind?”

The lady spins around, a crazy glint in her eye, and belatedly, Namjoon begins to feel a little wary in addition to the wave of concern that seems to have caught up to him from where he left it in the dust.

“My pudding,” the woman wails, lurching and attaching herself to Namjoon like he is the tree she’d just been attempting to scale. Her nails dig into his arms, and the male is suddenly thankful for the long sleeves of his shirt and jacket protecting them from being punctured by her claws. “My pudding is stuck in the tree.”

A few beats of silence sound in Namjoon’s head, before finally a thought spawns into being. This woman…. Did she fling her dessert into the tree? God, it’s worse than he thought. He never expected to walk upon such a tragedy.

“I’m so sorry to hear that, ma’am,” Namjoon says, sincerely sympathetic. Being prone to trips and falls as he is, he has been victim many a times to accidentally flinging food all over the place. His heart goes out to her, his hands coming to pat her forearms with only a little hesitance (distantly, a part of him wonders if the crazed look in her eye is due to rabies, and the whiteness of what he assumes is snot all over her face and mouth makes him a little nervous). “Would you like help? I can get the pudding down from the tree, and then you can go on ea—”

“Oh, would you, dear?” the woman’s grip tightens like a vice as she cuts him off, wide, glassy eyes gleaming with hope. Is she starting to froth at the mouth a bit? Namjoon chooses to ignore that observation. “Please, please get him down. He’s the fat bastard on the second highest branch, and he -hic- must be so scared.”

Namjoon resists the instinct to make a face just barely— is she referring to her pudding as a he, and did she just call her pudding a fat bastard?— and instead follows the old woman’s shaking hand as it point to the top of the tree. Realisation slaps him in the face.

There, sitting right on the thickest part of the second highest branch near the trunk and somehow still managing to bow it, is both the fattest and the ugliest but most oddly endearing cat Namjoon has ever seen. At least, he thinks it’s a cat. It’s a cat until proven otherwise, he decides.

“Oh,” Namjoon says, staring at the cat. The cat stares back, and Namjoon gulps at the sudden goblin energy it seems to be radiating. “Pudding.”

The woman, still babbling incoherently while Namjoon creates a half-assed sort of mental plan for how to proceed and reach the top of the tree, starts shaking him slightly in her distress. Being a music major doesn’t prepare him for shit like this, he laments. This lady better have some food on the table for the trauma she’s currently inflicting.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get pudding.” He gingerly brushes her grip off him, surprised she let go with such little convincing, and makes his way to the trunk of the tree. The cat stares him down the entire time, lidded yellow eyes peering into the depths of his being and pulling out his innermost fears. Namjoon feels like this cat is the kind of thing you peer under your bed as a child and see balled up in the corner, hissing, with big fangs and ominous man-eating energy. This cat looks like the second Namjoon is within reach he’s going to claw his face off or eat his ears. A shiver rolls down his spine, but he pushes on. He’s going to climb this tree, make this cat his bitch, and bring it back down for the crazy old lady who has started breathing extra heavy the closer he gets to the tree. Distantly, one of his braincells knocks around and whispers that this feels like when Hansel and Gretel got tricked by a witch and her candy house— except in this situation the candy house is Namjoon’s incredible need for good references and experience. Annoyed at the errant brain cell, he flicks it away mentally and tries to think of a way up the tree when he reaches the base.

Well, he supposes he’s just gonna have to go up branch by branch and see which ones he can reach with his long noodle legs. He has to bring his foot up past his ear to clamber onto the first branch, and amongst the pain of essentially doing the splits he feels oddly proud of himself. Kim Namjoon; outstanding citizen, academic, genius music major, now gymnast. It has a nice ring to it. Perhaps he should consider broadening his horizons and extending his athleticism.

Scaling the tree is actually much easier than he anticipated. None of the branches are too far or too high to reach, and he’s satisfied with the effortlessness this job has taken so far. This will look fantastic on his record— he can’t forget to get a written statement from the rabies lady.

Before he knows it, he’s come face to face with the cat. Up close, it radiates even more demonic goblin energy, and Namjoon feels his knees quake slightly in response. It doesn’t meow, doesn’t even growl, merely bares its teeth in greeting, and the male gulps. Alright, time to make this cat his bitch for a moment and save that old lady’s day.

“Hey puss,” Namjoon greets, a little rusty on his cat conversation etiquette. “Come here puss, here, tch tch.”

The cat, fearing neither god nor man, merely sits and looks at Namjoon as he makes kissy noises in an attempt to lure it. ‘You think you can control me?’ It feels as though the cat says to him, with its apathetic, golden-eyed stare, ‘I belong to no one, fool. I will perish before I move at your will.’

Alright, seems like he’s just gonna have to scoop him up and go. Hopefully his nature is a docile as the name Pudding implies and his intimidating outside is just a farce.

Namjoon leans against the trunk of the tree as he reaches for the cat and takes it into his arms successfully— it’s too fat to put up much of a fight, and for that the male is thankful, even if it now feels like he’s holding a boulder in his arms and they’re going to fall off if he doesn’t deposit it soon. What does that lady feed this cat?! Cement?!

Having secured the old lady’s bag, Namjoon directs his gaze downwards and goes to embark on the next step in the plan to climb the tree for the cat and then climb down with the cat— as expected, it’s time for the latter. Wait, speaking of—

A ladder? God he wishes he had one of those right now, because he’s just realised that he has no idea how to get down. The cat’s belly gives an almighty rumble and, expectedly, it throws Namjoon a little off balance. The old lady is calling out hoarsely several many feet below them, and Namjoon feels a little overwhelmed as he considers possibilities and analyses paths down.

Gulping, he makes a calculated decision— unfortunately, he was never that great at maths.

x x

An afternoon stroll through the streets surrounding your dorm is just what you need, some fresh air to sooth your tired, university student soul and refresh your mind.

At least, that’s what you decided like ten minutes ago. Currently, you’re not sharing the same sentiments as past-you so much. This is mostly due to the abundance of unhinged elderly and zombified youth that seem to have had the same idea as you and that are now milling about unchecked. You accidentally stepped off the footpath before and stepped maybe ten centimetres onto someone’s lawn. That someone happened to be a short, stout middle-aged couple that had matching outdated hairdos, and they were not happy about you ‘messing up their lawn’. Before embarking on this walk, you could have proudly said you’d never been chased down the street by some screaming woman with a broom before. Now though, you’re no longer a virgin to that particular experience. You’re not going home as the same woman you were when you left.

The street that you’ve just turned onto, on your journey back to your dorms, is remarkably less chaotic than the rest and you feel yourself letting out a breath of relief. Finally, you thought you were going to combust from the stress alone. As relieved as you are though, you don’t let down your guard; you’ve been burnt before, thank you very much.

Not even three houses down the street, your reservations are proven right. There is an elderly woman, who appears afflicted with a sickness of some sort if the fluids all over her face are anything to go by, who is sobbing and moping at the base of a tree in what you hope is her front yard. Confronted with the strange situation, a part of you instinctively wants to help her— the other part tells you to turn tail and go down another street because this could be one of those traps where they trick you with a crying child or old lady and then mug you, taking all your money and any candy still surviving in your pockets.

Ultimately, the more empathetic side of you wins out and you hesitantly begin to walk closer to the woman clawing at the tree and screaming about desserts.

“Uh, excuse me ma’am, are you o—”

You don’t even get to finish before there is a sudden series of snaps and cracks from the tree above you and a mass comes hurtling down from the foliage. You scream, the sheer blood-curdling nature making your throat ache, and just about shit yourself as you launch away. Where you stood, a shape smacks into the ground with a hearty thunk that shakes the earth a little beneath your feet. You were right, you’re about to get mugged!

“AHH FUCK WHAT THE FUCK FUCK OFF I KNOW KATANA!”

The mass on the ground groans and you blink, watching with absolute dumbfoundedness as it shifts and suddenly the fattest cat you’ve ever seen is parting from it and running towards the woman in hysterics by the base of the tree. For such an absolute unit, it moves fast, and barely a moment passes before the massive load of a cat is wrapped firmly in the old lady’s arms.

“Pudding,” she weeps into his coat, the cat pinning you and the lump at your feet with an ominous, dead-eyed stare over her shoulder. “Oh my sweet, fat bastard— don’t you ever do that again, okay? Oh my sweet baby—”

She turns, mumbling into the fur of her cat as she begins to depart from the tree and make her way back to the house that you presume to be hers. For a moment you forget about the lump at your feet, until you hear it let out a pathetic whimper.

“My reference and commendation…”

You let out another scream, for some reason not at all expecting it to speak words. When you look down, however, you instantly feel guilty.

The thing that fell from the tree was a man and he landed right on his ass.

“Oh wait holy shit are you okay?!” Now that you’re over your fear of being mugged, you run over to the man and pop a concerned squat next to his curled up form. “What the hell were you doing up there? Did you steal that crazy lady’s cat?!”

The male at your feet groaned, bereft. “No, I was helping her get the cat down. Holy shit, my buns…”

You turn your gaze to his heinie, realising that with how hard he hit the ground he very likely has broken something. God, now that you think about it, he could have broken his tailbone. You have a friend that did that in highschool— it wasn’t fun, and it wasn’t pretty. And the thought that this poor man who fell from the tree and scared the absolute shit out of you might have done the same… oh, you felt for him. He attempted to roll and let out a pathetic groan. Oh yeah, he definitely broke it.

“Wait, don’t move! I think you broke your tailbone when you fell! Don’t move too much.” You hurry to halt him, and all he can muster in response is another sad groan.

“God, I- I can’t see…” he dropped his head against the earth, eyes shut. “The light… it’s growing closer.”

“H-hang on!” You panic, hands flying into the air. “We need to get you help! We need to get you to a hospital! Please don’t go into the light!”

The male groans again, and you flounder— you have to get him to the ER! It’s more serious than you thought. Panicked, you scramble for a way to get him up and mobile. Finally, an idea occurs to you, and you survey the man’s lanky form to try and assess how well it’s going to work out. A grimace finds its way to your face.

You’re going to be so sore later.

x     x

For forty minutes, you carried the long-limbed male on your back like nothing but a pack mule. Twenty minutes of that you spent walking, feeling like that Atlas bitch carrying the heaviest thing imaginable on your back and shoulders; and the other twenty was spent taking (read: waiting for) public transport. By the time you arrived to the hospital and got the man on your back checked in (you learned his name is actually Kim Namjoon and he’s a student, much like you), you felt as though at any second you were going to pass out. You still feel like that, actually, as you sit in the chair along the wall across from the male’s bed, which has the curtains drawn as the doctor inspects him, and attempt to recover. You’re sweaty, and gross, and desperately want a coffee. You even considered slipping some of the paper from the mysterious wad in his back pocket before you realised it isn’t money. You didn’t get to see what was on the papers, since you lost interest as soon as you realised it wasn’t cash.

You don’t get to lament too much about it before the curtains are being hauled back, a brightly smiling man greeting you; the doctor appears just as exuberant and overjoyed as when he first walked in.

“Well, good news and bad news!” he chirps, tucking his clipboard under his arm. His nametag reads Dr. Lee Minhyuk, and you can’t help but think that your new friend Sera would probably be frothing at the mouth at the mere sight of him. You catch sight of Namjoon adjusting himself on the bed behind the doctor, cheeks red.

You send the doctor a probing look, knowing he is waiting for a response. He beams, delighted at your acknowledgement.

“Good news first!” the Dr. Lee clicks his heels together before shifting his stance, gesturing his arm widely to Namjoon. “His tailbone is not broken! Thanks to the uneven distribution of his ass cheeks— ahem, sorry, his buttocks— all of the force of impact was absorbed by the, uh, dominant butt cheek, if you will. His tailbone is fine!”

Namjoon chokes behind him at the words that come out, and a part of you is mortified for him but the rest of you finds that too funny to even begin unpacking everything else yet. One of his ass cheeks really pulled a hard carry and did the lord’s work and absorbed all the impact. The power… A sigh of relief escapes you at the doctor’s words, though, and you go to speak up your relief when the doctor cuts you off.

“Whoops, actually I take that back! That’s the bad news— his tailbone isn’t broken, but it is bruised.” Dr Lee clicks his tongue, taking out his clipboard to scribble something short down. He then turns to Namjoon. “I kind of have to go— since you came in through the ER but this isn’t an actual emergency— but I’ll send a nurse in with directions for you on how to manage this, and after that you’ll be free to go. I recommend not climbing any more trees for a while! Also I hope you don’t sleep on your back, that might be a bit difficult like this.”

With that, he clicks his heels once more before saluting you both, and then he’s striding out of the room, off to tend to actual emergencies, you presume. You’d gotten an earful earlier for bringing him to the ER when it wasn’t a life-or-death emergency, but you stand by your decision.

There are a few long moments of silence in the time after the doctor leaves, and you decide to break it by standing and moving to the table beside his bed, where you’d left your phone like a fool. Avoiding his face (he’s still blushing so it’s a courtesy, but also because while sitting and waiting for the doctor you’d realised he really is quite good looking and your mind is having trouble associating that with the man who fell out of the tree earlier), you reach for the phone amongst the water cups and chocolate wrappers, from when he’d emptied his front pockets. He’s a nervous drinker and a hoarder, it seems.

“Wait,” His hand shoots out, long fingers wrapping around your wrist before you can grab your phone. Your heart jumps, perhaps in fright. You look to him with wide eyes. “I’m gonna need you to sign a non-disclosure about what you just heard.”

“I…” you give him a pained look. “Please, tell me you carry them with you at all times. Please. If you don’t tell me, I really might die.”

Namjoon lets out a great, big sigh, releasing your wrist somewhat petulantly. “I don’t… please hold your tongue until I can print some more.”

More? You’re having a field day with the implication that he has had instances where he’s needed to hand out non-disclosure agreements before, but he seems a little sombre. So instead of mocking him, as per your first instinct, you decide to try and make conversation. You know the nurse is coming soon, but you would feel bad leaving him alone until then. You feel like, having carried him on your back for miles and miles, almost an hour, you’ve really gotten closer and crossed the bridge from strangers to acquaintances.

“So…” you begin, tapping your fingers against your thighs. You search for another nearby chair before grabbing it and pulling it over, flopping down. “What do you study? Where?”

You feel like a new language learner asking questions using only the limited vocab you have, but Namjoon is unphased and answers as though you’d asked him something much more natural.

“CCU,” he says, fingers picking at the threads on his blanket, before he looks up to glance at you. “I’m a music major.”

Surprise filters through you at that, a noise of wonderment escaping before you can really stop it. “Oh! Hey, me too! I think you’re in one of the years above me, though, because I haven’t seen you in any of my classes before.”

Namjoon, who had been somewhat withdrawn and had put up a wall of sorts between you since entering the hospital and regaining control of himself (and a donut cushion to sit on), seems to do an absolute one-eighty at your words. “Oh, your major is music as well? Where are you specialising?”

You tell him with an eager smile, and he responds with one of his own. Just like that, the two of you fall into a conversation that comes much easier than anticipated, talking about your majors and music inside and outside of school. The nurse takes forever and you spend a good amount of time there, just talking to this upperclassmen who happened to fall out of a tree while you were walking past. Eventually, he confides in you about a rough draft of his, something he has really high hopes for. It’s a song called Moonchild, and it’s barely half done but he drums and beat boxes the rough rhythm out for you and you feel your cheeks heat in awe as you listen. That’s amazing, you can’t help but think, and it’s all him. You don’t think you’ve ever liked the demo of a song as much as you like that one.

The afternoon passes with the nurse eventually visiting, and all too soon you’re waiting with the long-legged noodle man at the drop-off and pick-up zone, watching with a note of sadness as a car pulls up and some mint-haired twink that looks vaguely familiar sticks his head out and calls for Namjoon. Namjoon thanks you for your help and bids you farewell, and then he’s climbing into the car with an abrupt wail of pain— he forgot to put his donut down first— before the doors shut and the car is pulling away, disappearing into the dusk and leaving you by your lonesome. You stand a few minutes, before letting out a huff and turning to leave yourself.

The whole way home, and throughout the rest of the week, you can’t help but think about the beautiful tune of moonchild and how it rings serenely through your mind when your thoughts quieten just enough. You hope you get to hear it again, someday; you hope you get to hear it when it’s finally completed and Namjoon’s name is on the credits.

— • masterlist | prev | intermission iii | next • —

{let us know what u think!! who are u rooting for?? who do u think is the muse?? hit us up!! & thank u for reading, btw!}

[jeonjk0504]

Hello ! I love your blog but I'm too shy to make a post to explain my theory but... I believe Moonchild by RM is actually a reference to Taehyung's homosexuality. I don't know if you think the same, I just wanted to share this...

Hey dear anon 🥺

No need to be shy! This platform is meant to express yourself! But nevertheless i feel honored that you trust me with your thoughts!

About Moonchild.. well let‘s say, you can read the lyrics, link them to homosexuality and they would still make sense, because the lyrics leave room for interpretation.

On the other hand - if we look at RMs mixtape altogether (theme wise) and put it in context to the whole Love yourself series, i would assume the topic dives more into the duality of things. Things like, love & hate, sunlight & moonlight, ideal & reality is a struggle that is prominent through the whole Era and also RMs mixtape, a struggle he has with himself. That is just my interpretation though! If you take the single out of context, it could very well hold a different meaning, no doubt :) and in general i could be wrong and you could very well be right!

This is just a superficial analysis, i‘m sure Joon stans could put this into better words, sorry 😭🙏🏻 or if you disagree, feel free to voice your opinion!

[antigoneblue]

Are there any lit magazines you recommend to submit to?

hey anon! took me a few days to get to this because 5th sem’s getting over right now (this is the last week before our end sem exams) and there was too much going on & i wanted to like… sit down with a clear head and get this right. 

ok, i’m gonna list out some lit mags i trust. i’m also going to tell you how i choose where to submit, so that you can choose where to send your work in based on what works best for you. this got a little long so i’m putting it under a read more.

2 things to keep in mind when submitting is the kind of work they feature (genre, quality, whatever) & the masthead. when looking at the work they feature, ask yourself: is my work suitable for this mag? do the already published works here compliment what my work has & are they works i would like my piece to be featured alongside? a lot of mags may seem lucrative because they have a huge readership, but if the work they’re looking to publish doesn’t align with the work you’re bringing out, that’s not the right choice for you. also: check the masthead, always. sometimes, magazines might feature good work, but the masthead might be problematic. look up the editors! check out their twitter/facebook/insta whatever, check that they seem to be decent people that u trust. generally just research the magazine a bit before you send in any work.

ok! that said, here, from my experience, are some magazines that i like/ that i trust. these are based on what i know of them right now, and is in no way a Fact or whatever. 

off the top of my head, i can think of 

jellyfish review (their twitter account is really lovely, like, they’re super interactive and fun and give the energy of really caring abt their contributors. also when the whole pro life thing was blowing up they did a special feature on abortion and pro-choice related stories. i love that they did that.)

honey & lime lit (not to be That person but im friends with the editor of this mag and she’s a really lovely person, your work will be in safe hands, if you’re nervous) 

homology lit (the masthead seems pretty cool, and some amazing poetry’s featured in past issues, and i have a poem in their upcoming issue and i am so excited! haha)

moonchild magazine (their EIC is an actual angel, like, i kid you not. she’s so supportive and sweet and always speaks out against abuse and bigotry and supports survivors and whatnot, i just. she makes me feel safe, ok.)

half mystic (they were the first mag i EVER submitted to, so the rejection i got really stung, lol. but after sending work out to more places and whatnot, i realised that the rejection letter they’d sent me was actually really sweet…. much more than is the norm.)

brave voices magazine (they tweeted a few days ago asking for more submissions! so they might be open for subs RIGHT NOW, go check. i love the kind of work they feature, it’s usually identity-centric or deeply personal, from what i’ve read, and like. it’s Good. i’ve never submitted to them but i plan to soon. bonus: their editor is a lovely person)

flypaper lit (i have a monthly column up here!!! as someone who’s working with them, like, with that kind of frequency - it’s really a delight. their editor is super chill and amazing and i love them, haha.)

glass poetry (never actually published here or submitted so i can’t really say much but they do feature things i love.)

ghost city press (i remember a friend from a poetry network i was in recommending them much before i actually started sending out work. everyone seems to have a good opinion of them!)

adroit journal (again, i don’t know much abt this, but one of my mutuals suggested it and was excited about them.)

pigeonholes (this one’s on my lit mags to consider submitting to list, but i actually haven’t researched them very much. i remember one of my friends had a poem in here and she was pretty happy abt the experience!)

damaged goods (again, havent done anything much with this press, but heard mostly good things abt them. i think they focus on trans people specifically.)

empty mirror (heard good things about them, and i love the vibes they give off!) 

the nasiona (if you’re into writing nonfiction, they’re a good place to consider imo) 

coffin bell magazine! (esp since it’s spooky season! idk i read ONE story off this website and it changed my life lmao) 

barren magazine (i had a poem in issue 6 i think it was??? and like. the whole experience of working with them was amazing, they consulted me over edits, we discussed things out, they were very patient with me when i messed something up, etc etc etc) 

blanket sea magazine (i love the fact that this magazine exists! they focus on disability, if i remember right) 

so!! im not sure when the submissions for these magazines are open (if theyre open now, or opening later.) nor am i 100% sure abt the criteria of them - some of them, i think, are for specific groups like poc only or trans people only or, you know, things like that. there are definitely more that i’m forgetting!!! 

im too tired to add links right now, sorry. 

there are also a few lit mags that i would advise against submitting to.

not sure of the details but there was a whole thing with anti-heroin chic defending a racist editor and when one of my mutuals drew attention to the fact that the editor was racist, they were really rude to her. i don’t know what went on exactly and it’s not my place to ask, but i wouldnt ever submit there personally. 

i had a really shitty experience with storm of blue press in which they policed my identity and intentionally misunderstood me when i said “nonbinary is a spectrum of genders, not a single monolith gender identity” and got offended by the fact that i used the word ‘woman-aligned’ to refer to my friends……..who aren’t women……….but are woman-aligned…………like………..that’s the phrase they use for themselves?? there was other stuff too (biphobia) and they harassed one of my friends + tweeted about how her manuscript was “lazy work” and not good enough or something, so. steer clear 

apparently rust + moth published a terf once and when someone brought this to their notice, they made fun of the person who spoke out about it and refused to take down the work, so….. 

arkay artists was defending a racist author who said something about blackface not being too racist / implied it was forgiveable…… she’s white so. she isn’t an authority on this. then, the mag proceeded to call one of my nonbinary friends a b*tch off their official account, which is gross & unprofessional and an act of misgendering, to top that off. 

this is all i’ve got!!! i’m in no way a pro - if you’re really interested in submitting to lit mags, twitter’s a great platform to network. i follow a lot of lit mag accounts, and that’s how i keep in the loop of what’s happening, where to submit, etc etc. 

take this with as many pinches of salt as you want -im not an authority, i might be biased, but these r just observations based off what i’ve seen, what i’ve experienced and what my friends have told me! DO UR OWN RESEARCH TOO! 

[an-ambivalent]

Into The World Of Sins [Yandere! BTS] Prologue

Synopsis:  “ Seven deadly sins,” You were going to be reborn seven times -- once in the world of each sin. “seven ways to win,” Your mission is to help them better themselves and reach the good ending. “seven holy paths to hell,” However, with the potential of their dangerous sins corrupting you lingering, will you be able to help them and save yourself in the end? Or would the wrong choices lead to your demise? “and your trip begins," -Iron Maiden, Moonchild.

There was warmth, and there was an occasional breeze which swept them slightly once in a while. While usually the touch of a breeze was welcome and felt refreshing, this breeze gave the sensation of iron rods covered in lava, which was cold as icicles, digging into one’s skin. It burned and felt deadly cold at the same time.

In this universal realm where the virtuous aura of heaven mingled with the dark energy from the underground, everything was in a state of almost perfect equilibrium. As a result of this equilibrium, those who could not be judged to have a concrete ending after life, and committed sins on the same ratio as their good deeds, ended up here. This was almost perfect equilibrium they referred to as the limbo.

The universe preferred to believe the best in everyone. So initially, when the non-judged entered, their souls were a floating white circle with specks of gold. They radiated pureness which was almost to the level of pureness emitted by heavenly creatures. In juxtaposition, souls belonging to the underground, were black floating circles with specks of crimson, and constantly screeched. Depending on how the non-judged handled the tasks they were given as a last chance to redeem themselves with, they would hopefully either end up with specks of gold, or unfortunately, with specks of crimson.

It was time to evaluate another soul which was lost in the limbo.

The soul’s retained their consciousness and memories of their life. However, they had no physical existence which could be similar to a living being. Hence, their mobility was limited. They were only able to float around, and respond to the questions they were asked.

The soul of the protagonist to be, moved to the marked circle, where an otherworldly spoke.

“[Name] [Surname],”  It said, and these words were uttered by a neutral voice that was void of any emotions or strains. The words boomed across the premises. Trapped in the limitations of her soul, [Name] tried to form an answer. However, that was proving to be an almost impossible task since a response was not asked for.  As she tried to speak, she only managed to light up brightly.

“It is now time for your judgement. Throughout your life, you have helped many, and in wanting to help many, you have committed many sins. While your intentions may have been true, your actions cannot be excused. It is decided that you will set out on a long journey. Since you were so willing to risk your own fate for others’ sake, it is a journey that is suited to you. You will be granted entrance into the world of sins, and must travel through each world. As you continue your journey across the worlds, you will be reborn, and have no memories of this, or your previous lives. Hence, your actions will be the most genuine.

Your mission is to help the one who will love you and prevent them from indulging in their sin any further. In each world, you will only get one chance so think very careful about the choices you make. The overall results of your actions will decide how you will end,” The voice stated emotionlessly, and left no room for queries or answers.  

As [Name] tried to respond once more, she lit up like a light bulb. Then, right after, something else happened; a zipping sound was heard, and her consciousness shut down. Her soul glowed a few times, before it started to lose its shine and everything around her darkened.

Her memories and life was sucked out of her like drosophiles by a vacuum, and before she completely faded, she heard the last few words the voice spoke to her.

“It’s time for you to be reborn.”

A/N: IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT THIS STORY!!

Okay so the purpose of this story is to allow the readers to narrate the plot and make it interactive. Before the publication of each chapter, you will be required to take a very short quiz and the answers decide what ending that chapter will have. The point is to get mostly good endings so that the story can end with good ending overall. It's a bit like an otome game :D 

rules:

-> you will get 3-5 days to get your votes in each chapter. After 3-5 days, the link and the quiz will be deleted.

-> if there are not enough participants then the chapter will automatically end with bad ending. That's about it so far that I can think of. Anything else, it will be updated along the way.

-> There will be announcements and etc made for this story so I suggest following the ‘into the world of sins’ if you’d like to keep up to date.  

next: Worlf Of Gluttony [Yandere! Vampire! Jin] | Masterpost

[unimpressedperson]

“10 Movies to Describe Me” tag

Hey, as I ever said, I LOVE cinema and going to the movies, watching documentaries, enjoying life by studying every nuance present on the 7th art.

Along life we have contact with a bunch of movies and references that affect our personalities, view of world, and even how we act towards some situations. Cinema is a powerful way of art, possibly influencing.

Everyone has a list of movies which influenced our personal growth. This list is all about it: 10 Movies you can use to describe me.

1 - Spirited Away

Well, I think Spirited Away was my first contact with cinematography eastern culture and made me go further in searching for more. I was 5 or 6 when I watched and fell in love with it.

Nowadays I know how to respect different cultures, have a deep interest in stories and mythologies from other countries. Thank you Studios Ghibli!

Influenced personality: Love for mythology and cultures.

2 - The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

I LOVE drag queens and everything related to that subculture. I remember watching that movie as a kid, after midnight and hiding from my parents, which advised me to sleep because I had school the next morning.

Everything seemed so colourful and amazing, almost magical. A explosion of music and dresses, high heels, makeup, big wigs and dancing.

While growing up it influenced my choices on sports, acceptance, music, and love for drag culture.

RuPaul's Drag Race is part of my love for drag queens, but it wasn't the first reference. Btw, support your local queens and art.

Influenced personality: Dancing skills, LGBT acceptance (when it comes to myself, I have nothing to do with someone else's sexuality), love for drag culture and pop music.

3 - Blackfish

Oh ma'am, now we got to a very rough part of my personality: my HATE and INDIGNATION over zoos and aquariums.

I don't like zoos, not at all. Watching animals caged in small spaces and sad, oh boy, it makes me want to invade the whole place with a hammer and set them free.

Before watching Blackfish I didn't quite realize how bad everything was for fishes in Aquariums as well. Now, I want to start petitions against Sea World and Aquário de São Paulo.

I love animals, WAY MORE than I enjoy being around humans, so knowing how suffering is their life inside small places makes me want to cage humans and let them walk freely.

Influenced personality: Love for sea animals and thirsty for their justice.

4 - Inglorious Basterds

(This scene is one of my favourites lol)

#ILOVEHISTORYANDTARANTINO

Well, Inglorious Basterds is a very historically inaccurate movie, but I love it with all my stone cold heart. There are so many catchphrases and iconic moments.

I just love that movie. Nothing really special or meaningful.

Influenced personality: The need for kill Nazis lol

5 - The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I was a very angst teenage and depressed as well, not counting anxiety on the mix. When I was 13 The Perks of Being a Wallflower aired on cinemas, and suddenly all my concerns about acting weird and not normal, compared to other girls around and whose studied with me, kind of seemed so pointless, mainly because Patrick, Charlie and Sam seemed to have so much fun, even acting quirckly and being classified as misfits.

My story has nothing to do with neither of characters, but I related a lot to them. So I think a big part of me came and flourished after watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Also, it taught me the importance of speaking how you feel, therapy and trusting people enough to tell them when something wrong is going on.

The book is also one of my favourites, so I’m not impartial when it comes to The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Influenced personality: Not afraid of being myself, fight for human basic right of having mental health treatment guaranted and embracing my quirk personality.

6 - Erin Brockovich

Everyone who knows me well enough, is VERY aware of how independent and self-suficient I am. I hate depending on people for completing tasks or doing stuff, so most of the time I try to learn do things all by myself. It’s something natural inside of me, partly because I don’t get lonely, so the idea of depending on someone to anything makes me cringy.

Erin Brockovich is a movie I watched when I was 12 and the way Erin acted towards everyone, giving priority to her life and kids, not caring about everyone else’s opinion, it made me root to be independent like her (except for the kids and struggle to find a job). Erin exhales big dick energy, also the ending made me aplaud the movie (even tho I was alone at home watching it).

Influenced personality: I learnt how to classify my priorities, also improved my confidence on how I act, since Erin isn’t afraid of achieving things and proving her point, even if everyone else is against and won’t believe her.

7 - Lilo & Stitch

I think every single living human alive had at least one movie, you know this one movie, which you obsessed during your childhood. It doesn’t matter the genre, you watched it nonstop and pissed off your whole house with how repetitive movie marathons seemed to get with you, since everytime you picked whatever you were about to watch, your choice was quite predictable.

The movie I obsessed during my childhood was Lilo & Stitch (also Scooby Doo, where do you think I learned how to copy someone’s fingerprint by using pore cleanser and powder?).

As I mentioned a few items ago, I was a misfit and it played a big part on my life, being excluded from parties, playdates and games during P.E was common. It bothered me, but everything changed when we adopted my first dog, a dachshund called Xuxinha. We were Lilo & Stitch, whenever people treated me badly at school, I knew that she would be waiting for me at home.

Xuxinha passed away in 16th February 2017, and I still miss her.

  Influenced personality: It helped understand that people are douchebags, but as long as I have my dog/sister at home to hold and distract me, then nothing else matters. I learned the importance of surounding yourself with people who cares about your well-being, not caring specie, ethnicity, etc.

8 - Wonder

I don’t think this item requires a lot of text to describe why I felt influenced by it. Watch the movie and let’s sob together.

Influenced personality: Learned why appearance means nothing, and everyone goes through some struggle, so always be there for people who cares about you as much as you do about them. Also, always stand up against bullying, it may look like a joke now, but it can be the trigger for fatalities.

9 - Spotlight

I study Social Communication: Journalism, that’s what I’ve been wishing to do and want to be in the future. Even tho I decided what I wanted as my career YEARS before the release of Spotlight, it helped me define which kind of journalism I wanted to follow: Investigative.

It feels like I just made 4 out of 2+2, considering the fact that I love detective stories and would love to be a detective myself, but watching and acknowledging that all the investigation and  accusations were based on real facts, oh Ma’am, I can’t even describe the thrill consuming my mind only by imagining what it feels like to be involved journalistically in an investigation.

Influenced personality: My PASSION for investigative journalism.

10 - The Imitation Game

Last but not least: The Imitation Game.

Well, I constantly get annoyed on how biased our society is, for real, and whenever it happens I write poems and texts and protest, and piss off a bunch of people by only talking about a situation of inequality. When I first watched The Imitation Game the whole Alan Turing being castrated and killing himself because of homophobia and a VERY, I repeat, VERY narrow-minded society, it PISSED OFF THE HELL OUT OF ME, and I used this rage during a full semester of college paper works.

I named a group after Alan Turing and our semester project was basically about people being biased and killing genius because they cannot look further from their own bellybottoms. I won a “Oscar de Jornalismo”, which is the award that happens every six month in my college, prizing the best works from the semester.

It still makes me so angry to imagine what Alan Turing could had done if he lived for at least 20 more years.

Influenced personality: Well, it made me channel my rage about a situation and helped me to understand why we should discuss homophobia, racism, wars, etc, even harder now. Watching the world following the path for making the same mistakes all over again is frightening, and only history can help us.

- x-

It has potential to be a tag, so I’ll tag some people I want to know what movies inspired them. You don’t have to make a whole long ass text about your choices, just sharing is enough :)

@ohmydearmoonchild @okayycalum @emerson-moonchild @btsqualityy @theburntwaffle

[deadlydreamin]

okay time for me to ramble about how much i love bts and how much those seven boys mean to me (this is actually a whole 2,390 word fucking essay so you can probably ignore this lmao):

for starters i want to talk about their talent. they have worked so hard as trainees and since their 2013 debut, and a lot of people seem to think they’re overrated. they have worked their asses off to get where they are today and they are always setting new records (or the army is for streams and shit) and doing things never done before when it comes to kpop. members like jin, who started off as a bighit actor with no singing/dancing talent - his vocal coach (and anyone who had heard his vocals from 2013 to now) says that instead of improving, that he’s completely transformed after probable years of staying up until 3am practicing. this is also shown with hoseok, who was meant to be a vocalist and main dancer but instead a rapper and main dancer - he worked hard (with the help of yoongi and namjoon) to learn HOW to rap, and again, if you compare cypher pt 1 to cypher pt 4, there’s a massive improvement in his rap. all of the members work so hard and have natural talent and i just- they deserve to be where they are today. 

i also want to mention each of the members and what they’ve taught me.

starting with worldwide handsome kim seokjin, he’s taught me that hard work and perseverance will get you where you want to go in life. like i said, his vocals have completely transformed and he can sing notes higher than the sky [see his crystal snow triple high note, it gives me chills everytime], and his vocals have become so stable now while performing and i am proud of him. in his wings album solo, awake, he also expresses how he feels that he isn’t as talented as his other six members, and i can relate to this - i also feel inadequate compared to nearly everyone else around me. the bridge also makes me cry a little bit because it’s just- holy shit man. he’s also like the mum of bts, despite his love of cracking dad jokes whenever he can. 

min yoongi, my ultimate bias. he is someone i look up to and aspire to be. yoongi is an incredible producer, lyricist, and rapper, and i could go on and on about his skills. he also works incredibly hard making music and his rapping is no joke, especially in cypher pt 2, 3, and his mixtape are brilliant. more than this, he talks about his struggles with anxiety (social) and depression, and especially his mixtape song the last - a lot of his songs on the mixtape have amazing lyrics, and specific instances of something happening that was incredibly personal to him. despite struggling with his issues, he has kept going, and when i ever get down, i think of how he has learned to love himself, and that i am capable of this too. also i think i relate to him most on a lot of levels - he’s the tired grandpa of the group, but can be silly and fun when he’s with hoseok. he has a hard time showing how much he cares for the others and isn’t as touchy as the other members tend to be, but he still does show he cares in subtle ways and i also can relate to this, because i often have no fucking clue as to how i should express my emotions. he looks like someone that could beat the shit out of you but is actually a big ol’ softie on the inside and he constantly says shit that makes me go “wow, same.” going back to his rap again, yoongi can rap fucking fast, but still can put so much energy behind his verses while doing it - he often builds up, he will go off and rap so fucking fast you question whether this man has lungs, and then go back - all the while you can tell he puts his entire being into his rap, if that makes sense. he also has a wide range - he can go from a kind of harsh, fast rap to a slower, smooth one (compare his verse of cypher pt 2 to seesaw - though seesaw does have his great vocals in it too, the change in his voice is remarkable). 

your hope, your angel, j-hope. jung hoseok is an insanely talented dancer and rapper, and like the other members works so hard. his rapping, like i said, has improved over the years and he’s incredible now. his dancing has always been amazing to look at, because unlike jimin, who was also a dancer pre-debut, he did a lot of hip-hop based dance and he can express literally all of his emotions in his movements which i think is incredible. his vocals are also amazing and bighit needs to give him more vocal lines (like in blood, sweat and tears. that shit gets me every time). he is definitely the member who bias wrecks me a lot and i love his sunshine attitude. he’s a ball of joy and an angel (but also his fancam for that no more dream dance break does actually murder me) and his random outbursts and the fact he is also such a meme makes him lovable too. he’s taught me that i should always have a positive attitude to life and that it makes other people feel good too. hoseok has this effect on the other members (i believe it is referred to as ‘mood setter’ or something?), especially yoongi, where the other members may feel down but hoseok just has to be his extra self and they start smiling - like, yoongi will go from being tired and grumpy. place him in a room with hoseok? they’ll be goofs together and it’s the cutest shit (okay this is supposed to only be about hoseok but i do love me some sope content and i’m gonna go on about them here for a little bit longer). yoongi and hoseok are my two ult biases out of the various groups i listen to, because the two together create this chaotic energy and i love it - see the sope me behind the scenes duet bangtan bomb on youtube. those two are so chaotic in that video. 

the kim namjoon himself. he’s the leader, rapper, and also produces/writes songs for bts. he’s also fluent in english due to watching friends, yet again he has an iq of 148 so he can do pretty much anything. namjoon is the glue that holds bts together - he does a good job of it, too, with sorting out solutions to disagreements and comforting the members when they need it most. if seokjin is the mum of bts, namjoon is the dad. namjoon has taught me that it is important we learn to love ourselves. his two mixtapes are different, particularly with the overall sound and tone of each mixtape - rm has a very hip-hop/rap sound, and is quite aggressive, while mono. is calming and very relaxed and reflective. i listen to rm when i’m feeling aggressive, and mono. when i need to relax or calm down (it is one of three things that helps me relax before going to sleep and also good to listen to after i’ve had a panic attack or something). i feel a particular connection with moonchild, from mono. the message namjoon portrays throughout the song is something with a calming sound, but also something that offers some encouragement to me when i need it, especially the chorus: “moonchild, you shine, when moon rise, it’s your time/moonchild, don’t cry, when moon rise, it’s your time” 

park jimin. his high vocals are incredible and his high notes also give me goosebumps. he has a beautiful dance style that is unlike hoseok’s, as it is more contemporary/ballet focused and his movements reflect this. he has gone through hating his looks and becoming anorexic because of this, and i think that he is doing so much better now (i am talking him not eating a full, proper meal for upwards of ten days). he’s still quite self critical, and hates whenever he makes a small mistake, but i think that he puts so much work into making sure his performance is always perfect that he doesn’t always take care of himself, and that’s what i have learned from jimin - take proper care of yourself, and you should never have to hate your appearance because others develop high expectations for you. again, he works so hard to make sure he has a perfect performance every time and i commend him for this, but also he tends to overwork himself a lot and i’d love for him to take a week off at some point where he can just relax a bit more. he definitely deserves it. 

kim taehyung. i think of the whole vocal line, his vocals are my favourite. he has a wide vocal range, going from notes lower than my not achieved grades to notes higher than the sky (stigma and singularity are great examples of this) - i can also actually sing his parts as i have a lower range and when i can sing a few lines with taehyung, i always feel good. like yoongi, tae can change and influence his rapping “voice”, taehyung can do a similar thing - he can be low and smooth with some high notes, and then suddenly he goes raspy and it’s fantastic (again, singularity vs war of hormone). the other three vocalsists can make their voices rough and raspy, but taehyung i think does it especially well, and it suits his incredibly low notes. despite his low voice, he’s actually got the personality and mental age of a child 99% of the time and to see him on and off stage is certainly interesting lmao. i would also like to add that he too is quite the meme (gucci boy) and he looks really good in a bandana/headband and i need more of that content in my daily life. taehyung was also behind the meaning of the army phrase “i purple you”, which means “i love/cherish/support you”, and whenever someone says that to me, i always feel great for the rest of the day. taehyung has taught me that bts do genuinely love us all and that as long as we support them, they will support us, and the shared love between bts and army. 

the golden maknae, jeon jungkook. jungkook’s vocals are great, and in all honesty i do miss and go back to bts’ older music purely for the reason of seeing this young lad as one, a fetus, and two, to hear him rap. he’s good at pretty much anything he tries, having a black belt in taekwondo and various other things, and he’s currently working hard to study and learn english so that namjoon isn’t the only fluent english speaker in the group. honestly i find the concept of namjoon helping jungkook with english wholesome and it brings a smile to my face. despite jungkook being thrown into fame at a young age, he’s stayed humble and a happy person and i think it goes to show that fame won’t always screw someone up if they have the right people around them. jungkook had six older boys who practically raised him from when he became a trainee (which he must have been 12-13 when he became a trainee) and they taught him well. i’ve learned that from jungkook - by surrounding myself with the right people (though he wasn’t willingly technically, i’m grateful he did have the boys there for him and i couldn’t see anyone else in the group), i can remain what is most important in life - staying happy and humble. 

bts has taught me several lessons in life, and i think that a lot of people dismiss them because they’re korean, because they’re overrated, because their music isn’t in english. what they seem to fail to understand is that emotion transcends languages, and that multilingual people do exist who translate lyrics for those who wouldn’t understand the entire song. even then, if you listen to the truth untold without english (or your native language) lyrics, you can still feel the sad vibes of the song. likewise if you listen to something like anpanman - you will feel the more positive energy and hype that the song conveys without the lyrics. a lot of people don’t want to listen to kpop because they might not understand what the songs are saying right away, but if you take your time and find music with messages you find inspiring and that impact you, it shouldn’t always matter what language the song is sung in, as long as you have a translated version that you can read and understand the basic message of the song. a lot of people wonder why bts has become so popular, and not just for their golden visuals, or their talent, but also the message they spread, especially with their love yourself album series - and it’s easy to see why after that. self love is something that many, many people struggle with and once people understand this message, people like bts because of this. people will listen to music that may not be in a language they speak because once they have seen/read the lyrics to the song in question, if the message stays with them, they will remember the message when they listen to the song, and just the association of the song and the message is enough for people to feel comfort from it. i am like this with magic shop - it is a song made specifically for the army, and about how we can take comfort in them when we are in pain/struggling/etc. the thought of this message enough while listening to the song makes me smile (and cry too lmao). 

anyways, i think this is the end of my rambling. goodnight y’all, and if you read this far holy shit, you are a champion.

[astartlinglackofpotential]

Tag Game

Rules: Tag ten followers you’d like to get to know more

tagged by @im-the-king-of-the-ocean

This is my first tag and I’m already very late, let’s get to it!

Name: Kenny (nickname)

Star Sign: Taurus

Gender: Female, but someone on Discord referred to me as “he” recently & I weirdly liked it? Someone else can unpack that one bc I don’t want to

Height: 5’3” (I think)

Sexuality: No idea so that probably means asexual huh

If you could be anywhere else right now, where: I honestly just want to go home and pet my dog (I’m away at school)

Wallpaper: all my wallpapers are the generic presets I’m boring

Where do you see yourself in ten years: dead who’s to say

What was your coolest Halloween costume: I made myself some satyr legs one time and I think they turned out really well! Added a wooden hoof to the bottom of high heels with the heel sawn off and everything. Very uncomfortable, but the overall effect was worth it!

What’s your favourite 90’s TV Show:  Technically the version of Beauty and the Beast that was produced by George R.R. Martin ran 1987-1990, so I will count that.

Last kiss: If you mean like on the lips then I have been kissed 3 times by 3 different boys all against my will, the last one being about 3 years ago. If you mean in general, probably my dad?

Have you ever been stood up: Yes, by my friends and once my parents lol

Have you ever been to Las Vegas: Nope

Favorite pair of shoes: My wonderful Doc Martins just crapped out after wearing them nearly every day for several years RIP

Favorite fruit: Mango

Favorite book: hmmnng Moonchild by Aleister Crowley, The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. LeGuin, Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse, Secrets by F.M. McPherson… I can’t choose

Stupidest thing you’ve ever done: Once I literally broke my wrist by running into a wall, so

Favorite gif: 

tagging @lakejr @archaeopter-ace @trollhell @the-moogle-of-your-nightmares @for-the-glory-of-trash @hi-im-a-salty-human-being @livelycrispycreepslayerz @co-fefe @amuletofdawn @sp-ace-ed-out and anyone else who wants to do it!

[smuttbunnie]

The Devil wears glasses

Member: V

Genre: Smut / Angst

Series: The Moon Child

Theme: Halloween

Part: 5 / {pt.1} {pt.2} {pt.3} {pt.4} {pt.6} {pt.7}

"You moronic ass" Jin scolded, Taehyung sharply drawing a breath through his teeth as his advisor tightly pressed a cloth against his bleeding wrist.

"Your brilliant plan was to take the dagger - the royal dagger designed to protect the royal bloodline at all costs, which was specifically forged to overpower and fatally wound a vampire - and slice your wrist open with it."

"Good plan no?" 

Teahyung hissed in pain as Jin pressed unnecessarily (and passive aggressively) hard on the wound. You winced with second-hand pain, instructing your master to keep pressure on the cut. The King wasn’t doing well. He had lost too much blood, and Jin could already see a fever setting in from the poison. The advisor cursed, angry and frustrated with his own ineptness.

How could he let this happen to his sire?

"I'm getting the royal Physician."

Taehyung groaned loudly and tried to get up, but Jin quickly pushed him back onto the bed.

"I'll be fine, you don't have to get that deprecating prick," he grumbled.

"You've lost too much blood, and the knife was laced with poison. You are most certainly not 'fine'."

"That's an exaggeration, it was just a scrath."

"You almost bled out!"

“When you put it that way it sounds so dramatic."

The advisor bristled. "Insufferable bastard" he mumbled under his breath before urgently turning to you.

"Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. I'll lock the door whilst I'm out getting the royal physician so no one can get in. Do you understand?"

You quickly gave him a nod and the man hurried to the door. He paused for a second, worriedly looking towards your master, before exiting the room and locking the door behind him.

You stood for a moment in the middle of the room, cluttered and overwhelmed. It felt like a gravitational force was pulling you to the floor, and no matter how much you told your legs to move, they wouldn’t. Your body was numb, and your head scrambled for something to do.

Taehyung's groan willed you out of your stupor, and with a shaky breath you forced yourself move. The prince's brow was covered with sweat, and his breathing was haggard. He looked awful...

You quickly ran to the bathroom, grabbing one of the cloths and dipping it into one of the basins with cold water in it. Moving back into the bedroom, Taehyung was trying to stand up, but was too disoriented to find his balance.

Almost falling over, you rushed over in a nick of time, catching him and helping him back onto the bed. The King tried to resist, but finally lied down in defeat. It surprised you how weak he had become.

"You're seeing me in quite an unseemly matter," he grunted. "But then again you always see when I'm unseemly."

"…Are-are there times when you're seemly?"

The king laughed, hoarsely replying through his chuckles;

"Are there times when I'm seemly? Haha, aaaah maybe not huh?"

You flushed, embarrassed. Not knowing what to say, you said the wrong thing again. You tightly pressed the cloth to your chest, and a fluttery nervousness trilled through you.

"C-can I sit? Sit-sit next to you I mean."

He blinked a few times, uncertainly glancing at you. Giving you a weak smile, he nodded and you carefully sat down on the edge of the bed. Figgeting with the damp cloth for another second, you ignored the loud thumping in your chest and moved closer to your master.

You raised the cloth, hesitating to glance at Taehyung before gently dabbing his forehead. He sighed with relief, the fabric cool against his burning skin. Blurrily looking up at you, your brows were furrowed in focus as you wiped the sweat from his forehead.

“You’re having a sudden change of heart” he meekly mused.

You froze, your grip on the cloth tightening. Sudden….it was sudden. All of it, all of this. Your feelings had gotten all mixed up along the way, and you needed something to straighten them out. You looked up with a sense of need, words urgently falling past your lips;

“Why? Why did you…why would you do that for me?”

He held your gaze tensely for a moment, before reaching up to tug you closer by your wrist. You were caught off gaurd, but didn’t pull away from the King’s grasp. His eyes searched for something in yours, desperately trying to find familiarity in their depths.

You felt breathless. It was a profound and vulnerable moment, where in a second you felt you knew the prince more than you did the entirety of you stay here. There was a sense of understanding you felt, that maybe you were more alike then you realized.

Who are you Prince Taehyung?

Just as his majesty opened his mouth to say something, a key turned in the lock and a man with greenish hair in a black coat burst through the door. He glared down at the King over the rim of his glasses, an arrogant smirk settling across his lips.

"Well well well, don't you look like shit."

***

The dress was loose and comfortable on your body. You wiped the last of the dry blood from your neck, looking at yourself in the mirror. Jin had thankfully allowed you to change after the physician saw your bloodstained dress and thought the blood was because of Taehyung.

Then he learnt the blood was Taehyung's, and the situation got even worse.

"You know I always say, if you want to get into a woman's undergarments, just bleed all over her. That ought to get her all hot and bothered."

"I did it to protect her you arrogant bastard."

"Right, my apologies mister knight-in-shining-armor. You're protecting her just swell now that you’re bed-ridden and wounded."

"Why you incolent, little f- Ouch!” Taehyung cried out as Yoongi stuck the needle in his skin. He looked up in mock surprise, a very unapologetic and smug smile slipping onto his lips.

"Oh sorry, did that hurt? My hand must have slipped."

"I'll personally see to it that you're beheaded" The prince hissed, squeezing his eyes shut in pain. Yoongi skillfully stitched up the cut, and if you didn’t know better you’d say he was enjoying it. 

After bandaging your master's wrist, he rummaged through the black, leather bag he had brought with him. Removing a small, wooden bowl he mixed various liquids from oddly shaped vials, adding crushed herbs and strange powders to the concoction. Seemingly satisfied, he handed it over to the King.

"Drink up buttercup."

Taheyung threw the doctor a hateful glare, raising the bowl to his lips. He had barely taken a sip when his eyes widened and he spat it out again.

"This is revolting!"

"You didn't ask for sugar."

"I didn't know it was bitter you sadistic prick!"

You nervously stood there, wondering if you should offer to get the King something to make it taste better. He must've seen the look on your face, because he awkwardly cleared his throat before reluctantly gulping down the foul-smelling medicine without another complaint.

The doctor grinned, thinking to himself that things might have become much more interesting in the castle since the last time he was here.

“You drank it all, good boy! You deserve a gold star~” the physician sarcastically cooed.

“I despise you with every fibre in my being.”

“As affectionate as always your ‘majesty’.”

Jin had brought you a new dress, and told you it was alright to go clean yourself up. You hadn’t taken too long but you assumed your master would be asleep by now because of the exhaustion. Jin and the physician seemed to be discussing something when you entered the room but stopped when they noticed you.

They were probably talking about you.

“So, I hear you’re a moonchild. We haven’t been properly introduced yet.”

Introduced? You looked to Jin for help. You weren’t usually “introduced” to others. Your previous masters used to show you off like a collectable, or refer to you as a pet. You never had the luxury of speaking for yourself.

“Are you mute or what?”

The advisor’s eyes widened, but before he could say anything you quickly spoke up. “U-um, please excuse me, I’m Y/N,” you said bowing before the man.

“Finally, a proper greeting! Why does no one ever bow before me?”

You could see Jin rolling his eyes out of the corner of your vision.

“Min Yoongi, Royal Phycian and apparantly the royal ass-kisser of his majes- oof! ”

The advisor elbowed him hard in the side, cutting his comment short and giving him a warning glare. Yoongi coughedt and readjusted his glasses.

“Pleasure to meet you Y/N.”

You could feel your face flush with heat. A pleasure? Did he just say it was a pleasure to have met you?

“Y-you don’t have to say that Doctor, please I couldn’t possibly, um-” you stammered, feeling the need to apologize to him.

Jin placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, giving you a sympathetic smile. “It’s alright” he whispered, the physician giving both of you a confused look. For a moment it seemed like he would say something about it, but something more important caught his attention.

Swiftly removing and checking a pocketwatch from his jacket, he swore before rushing to pack up his bag. 

“Sorry, I’d love to stay and gossip some more about our spoiled princess, but I’m late for an appointment.”

“You mean prince.”

“Do I really though?” With a flourish of his coat and a flash of his smug grin he was gone. The poor advisor sighed, turning to you apologetically.

“Please excuse him, he’s a bit much to handle. You must have been quite flustered.”

You shook your head, wondering if you could speak your mind, or if that would be a bit presumptuous of you. Jin picked up on your thoughts and smiled encouragingly. “Go ahead.”

You were very grateful for his words.

“M.. More than that, I was shocked. I didn’t know the King could be so, well… Childish.”

Surprise flitted across his face, and you hastily interjected;

“Ah I didn’t mean to insult the King I just meant that-”

“No it’s alright,” he chuckled. “I’d prefer it if you could speak frankly with me.”

Jin looked at your master, a sorrowful look glazing his eyes.

“The royal physician knows how to push the prince’s buttons. Whenever Doctor Min is around, he acts more like he used to…”

“Used to?”

The advisor glanced at you, smiling. It wasn’t a pleasant smile. It was the sort of smile you put on your face when you thought about better, happier days that were long gone. You knew it well, because you wore it a lot.  

“I met him when I was young. At the time he was only a child, but his skill to rule had been cultivated from the moment he was born.”

He walked to the side of the bed, fixing the covers and removing the strands of hair that clung to your master’s face.

“The King was a very different person back then.”

Prince Taehyung as a child… You had never imagined it, but suddenly you were very curious to know what he looked like when he was younger. Did he have that stony face back then? Or did he have the round, shining face that all children seemed to have when they were innocent and carefree.

“Was it a good different?”

Jin smiled fondly. “I’m not sure. He did some stupid things, and had a knack for causing trouble.”

His smile fell and you felt your heart fall a bit along with it. Such a tearful look did not suit the busy-body advisor.

“But… He knew how to laugh back then. Not the laugh he uses today. The type of laughter that made his belly ache and tears gather in his eyes. He used to find the stupidest things humorous.”

You clutched at the material of your dress, your vocabulary frustrating useless when required to provide comfort. What do you say? Does the King know how sadly Jin gazes at him when he’s asleep? How he worries?

What kind of a person were you to cause the uptight and respectable Jin to make a face like this?

“Y/N… It’s not a very exciting story - of how I came to be the King’s right hand man but…”

He turned to you, and it was the first time Jin didn’t look composed. Not even in the slightest.

“Would you like to hear it?”

~To be continued

[previous chapter] | [next chapter]

[samsxmoonlight]

Moonchild Lyric Analysis

I finally got the chance to read Muish’s Ramblings post on Moonchild and I was inspired. If you haven’t read it yet, please do. (Muish’s translations and detailed analysis of lyrics are amazing and so insightful to the deeper meanings of BTS song’s and wordplay.)

I’m taking my response to the post and elaborating on each point here. 

In my opinion, with the song Moonlight, Namjoon explores the duality of living as a human being.

We’re born in the moonlight

Ain’t no fantasy

When he talks about being “born in the moonlight,” I feel that is associated with being born alone and as an individual. There is this concept that we are all each born into this world alone and by ourselves. So, the fact is, it is inevitable that we will be alone as we have always been.

Now some people, and I think most people, will be afraid of “loneliness.” But being alone is different from feeling loneliness. One can be alone without the feeling of loneliness.

Can’t breathe in the sunlight

Gotta hide your heart

If we bring it back to the idea that we are in fact alone, then the fact that we are misunderstood is also true. There’s really no way that a person can know and understand another person 100%. So in a sense, we have to “hide our hearts” and hide our true selves in fear of being misunderstood, as a way to protect ourselves.

We born to be sad sad sad sad

Suffer to be glad glad glad glad

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That’s how it’s supposed to be

Yeah all these pain, all these sorrow

That’s our destiny, see?

He mentions that we’re born to be sad, that pain and sorrow is our destiny. And it’s one of those truths about life that I think people should accept to be humble and to find purpose in this world. Perhaps its the Buddhist in me, but the sutra “Life is Suffering,” comes to mind here, is just the way that life is, whether we accept it or not.

I think Namjoon understands that there will always be ups and downs in this world where we are alone. We are born in this impermanent life and will experience sadness. But without sadness and sufferance, we won’t know true happiness.

We gotta dance in the rain

Dance in the pain,

Even though we crash down

We gon’ dance in the plane

I absolutely love this line. He is saying that although we are destined to suffer pain and sorrow he isn’t telling us to give up. Rather he is telling us that this is just a part of life. So we will “dance in the rain” and even when crashing down, we’ll “dance in the plane.” Life is like this, we keep on living and keep on going on.

We need the night scenery more than anyone

No matter whoever is there,

Only I can console myself

Again, he refers to the night time, or rather we need time to ourselves, to reflect. Because no matter who is there next to us, only we can know ourselves and only we can console ourselves. And I think this takes so much courage because we’re so used to leaning on others and look outwardly for others to understand us.

It’s okay to shed the tears

But don’t you tear yourself

Another line that I love. The thing I love about Namjoon is that he has so much compassion. This is why his lyrics and words are so thoughtful and have so much depth. He is telling us, yes, life is painful, go head and cry about it. You have every right to express your frustration and sorrows. But be kind to yourself, don’t be so hard on yourself for things that are just part of humanly life. TT Can I love him more?!

Saying that you want to die, but just as much you still diligently lived.  

This line resonated with me on such a deep level. I just love how bittersweet it is and the contrasting themes emphasizes his message. There are times when we feel like we at the brink of self destruction, feeling so deeply pained that we just want to die. But equally, we are so strong, because we live just as diligently or equally. And in a way it is a ode to how resilient we are as human beings. Sometimes, we don’t realize how much our will to survive is. And not just to survive, but to pick ourselves up and continuing bettering ourselves.

In the time of the moon, I look at that night sky with the eyes of soul

I’m going to show you, your window, your time

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Don’t you think that the night view is so cruel?

That grandeur created by collection of someone’s thorns

In Muish’s analysis, the word 창 is translated as “window,” but it could also mean “spear.” And this makes a lot of sense to me. I think the significance of the moon goes back to the idea that night also represents “self.” First, by looking up at the moon or looking within yourself, you can become introspective and you can reflect on your inner thoughts. This can be interpreted as a “window” or a “spear” piecing through the exterior and accessing the interior. Sometimes this introspection can be like thorns and cruel, as you able and forced to face the things you try to bury in the back of your mind. It shines a light on the things you try to hide. 

Surely, there will be someone who will be comforted by your thorns

This part is a bit ambiguous, because I feel like he bounces back and fourth with the pronouns and we don’t know exactly who or what the subject is. I think “someone” is “oneself.” So, he is saying “surely I will/might be comforted by my own thorns.”

We’re each other’s night view, each other’s moon

Going back to the concept that we were all born alone. We reflect within ourselves and help ourselves. It’s a bit abstract to treat yourself as a separate entity or a third person, but it’s a way to “love yourself.” This encompasses the ideal of having compassion for oneself.

Because I don’t speak or really know Korean at a fluent level, it’s hard to confirm whether this is what Namjoon is speaking about exactly, because he could be speaking to an actual third person and not to himself. Considering all the topics that Namjoon as brought up in the past, it makes a lot of sense to me that this song is a realization that we were each born into this imperfect and impermanent world, but we all have the strength within us to survive. That within ourselves we can find the love and compassion to find comfort.

When moon rise it’s your time

...

Moonchild, you shine

And this isn’t necessarily a bad or just a sad experience. Facing your fears and processing the emotions that come with bad experiences is a challenging task but it is still rewarding and meaningful in the end. We will grow further and shine brighter after we have looked within ourselves and find the answers that we need through reflection and introspection.

After this analysis, I can see more clearly that Namjoon is not just a poet, but also an amazing storyteller. He is telling things as they are and as a matter-of-fact but with such beautiful metaphors and imagery.

I can imagine him sitting in nature and staring quietly at the moon having epiphanies that inspire so many more beautiful song lyrics.

If there is anything we have in common, it is that the both of us love the bitter-sweetness in all concepts. We love the contrasting themes of life that make life deeper on both ends of the spectrum. Cause one can’t truly exists in this world without the other. And this is littered all throughout his album, Mono.