#reddie incorrect quotes

[bagerfluff]

Eddie: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Richie: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Eddie: Hey, Robin, you know that fae folklore where some fairies have to count salt when it's spilled in front of them?

Robin: Yeesss, where are you going with this, buddy?

Eddie: Well, if Steve trips in front of a fairy, do you think it would have to count his moles?

Robin: I don't know, depends on if his moles taste like salt or not:

Steve: *walking back into the living room* Okay, got the popcorn! I might have - EDDIE!

Eddie had gotten up, grabbed Steve’s face, and licked the moles on his cheek.

Eddie: *gasps* Robin! It tastes like salt. . .AND butter!

Steve: *blushing* Yeah, that's because I ate a couple of pieces. Jesus.

Eddie: *thinking about counting Steve’s moles* I wish I was a fairy.

Steve: Dude! We do NOT like to be called that!

Eddie gaped at him the rest of the night, trying to figure out if he was a mythical creature or not when actually Steve has yet to tell Eddie he's bisexual.

[incorrect-losers]

Went: I knew you two couldn’t stay mad at each other

Richie: Oh yeah. We’re closer than ever

Richie & Eddie: *Hold up their hands and they are both handcuffed together*

Went: You wanna tell me how this happened?

Eddie: Well, Bill thought-

Went: Oh man, I wish that boy would stop doing that

[thelosers-club]

mike: a huge mechanical bird attacked me

ben: a mummy was stalking me

bill: i keep seeing the ghost of my dead brother

eddie: what about you richie

richie: personally i really dont like furries

[liv45no]

Eddie: my mother can’t come to the wedding. She was at a yoga retreat and she fell out of a warrior pose and she broke her hip.

Richie: should we consider the possibility that someone pushed her?

Eddie: Rich, please! They were a bunch of peace-loving hippies who spent two weeks in the rainforest with my mother!

Eddie: OF COURSE someone pushed her!

[skeletons-and-roses]

Pennywise: I know your secret~

Richie: Wait how do you know I’m gay?

Pennywise: Ya know how I can smell fear?

Richie: Yeah…and?

Pennywise: I can smell your fruitiness from a mile away!

Richie:

Pennywise:

Richie: I’m gonna kill this fucking clown

[incorrect-itquotes]

Eddie, walking in to a room: "Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things." *Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder* Richie, out of breath: "HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS."

[psychotickid28]

(not mine)

[headcanonthings]

Richie: What are your adjectives? Eddie:...you mean my pronouns? Richie: No, I know what your pronouns are! What are you adjectives? Eddie:...I dunno. What are yours? Richie: Noise and chaotic! Eddie: I've never had something go from making no sense to making complete sense so quickly.

[tf2incorrectquotes]

Reddy: Hm, Mr Hale has been rather quiet today.

Bidwell: Yeah, it’s quite nice actually.

Reddy: ...

Bidwell: ...

Redwell: We should check on him.

Bidwell: Immediately.

[thatgaygirlfromderry]

Richie, in Eddie’s bed: Morning…how’d ya sleep last night?  Eddie, knocking Richie off: WHAT THE HELL?!  Richie: Ow— Eddie: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor!  Richie: I had a nightmare.  Eddie: You had a nightmare? What are you, five years old? Richie: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this perverse power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the floor and you sleeping up there-

Eddie, in a royal accent: Why yes, how high and mighty I am up on my twin XL!  Richie: That is not what I meant— Eddie: Silence in the presence of your king, who sleeps a lofty twelve and a half inches above the ground!  Richie: Listen, I’m not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up on your bed and I’m sure you did too.  Eddie: Yeah, okay-  Richie: You know what? I wanna know. How’d you sleep last night?  Eddie:…That was the best I’ve slept in a while.  Richie, gasping: The king slept comfortably with a peasant in his bed!  Eddie: I did not consent to this-  Richie, dramatically: But my liege, our love is forbidden!  Eddie, on the phone: Hi, is this the front desk? Yeah, there’s a bed bug in my room and he’s six-foot-one, he’s got dark brown hair.  Richie: Ask them if they have one of those “Do Not Disturb” signs. I’ll put it on the door next time we…do it.  Eddie: Okay, I'ma go shower and wash all of the you off of me.  Richie: Oh, maybe together we could— Eddie: NO.  Richie: Just to save water— Eddie: No! You don’t even pay for the water!  Richie:…Good point.

[bagerfluff]

Eddie: I feel like doing something stupid.

Richie: I’m stupid, do me.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Eddie: *to Robin and Steve* Who are these people you're gossiping about again?!

Robin: Oh, we don't actually gossip about real people.

Steve: Yeah, we learned that lesson the hard way.

Robin: So, now we make up people and their backgrounds. We gossip about them.

Eddie: I have been invested for over an hour over people who are NOT real?!

Steve and Robin: Yeah.

Eddie: *throwing up his hands* Either write a fucking book or join Hellfire!

Steve and Robin: *looks at each other before looking back at Eddie* Nah.

Eddie: *screams*

[incorrect-losers]

Eddie: Pretty cool, huh, Bill?

Richie: Uh, I thought it was cool

Eddie: I don’t give a fuck what you think

[mysticalarmand]

[liv45no]

Richie: you’ve been in such a bad mood lately.

Stan: bad mood?

Stan: I’m sorry, haven’t I been bursting in a song enough for you lately? Would you like me to click my heels together or skip like a school child?!

Richie: yes. to all of that.