#recovery chapter 3

[stony-feels1776]

Recovery - A New Day (Chapter Three)

This is part three of Recovery, a Stony Fic!

Warning: Angst

{More under the read more}

{link to it on wattpad: x }

{part 1}

{part 2}

Tony woke with a start at five am, the faint streaks of light from the sunrise sneaking into his dark room. Tony tried to slow his breathing. He wasn't sure if he had a nightmare or something- but he did know that he actually slept alright for once.

He took a shaky breath and groaned as he got out of bed. He looked at his alarm clock and sighed, stretching before wincing in pain. He strapped on the stupid leg thing that would support him as he walked and exited his room, yawning.

Today, he was feeling much better. Tired, dizzy, and a tad bit nauseous, but alright. He was pretty sure he'd basically threw up his whole stomach last night. He limped out into the living room, where he was surprised to see Clint still awake, staring at the TV.

Tony silently snuck around him - which wasn't hard to do, once Clint gave his attention to something almost nothing could distract him. Ah, Disney, of course. Cinderella. One of Clint's favorites. Tony smiled at him and walked into the kitchen, wanting to make himself a cup of coffee. However, he was disappointed when he realized the coffee machine was still gone. He sighed hastily, which made Clint jump and pull his bow and an arrow off the ground.

Clint rolled his eyes and let out a heavy sigh when he saw Tony. Sitting down, he smiled at him. "Hey, Tony," He said quietly, "can't sleep anymore?" Tony nodded, expecting Clint to yell at him for being awake. Instead, he just nodded in understanding, "I'm glad you slept."

Tony sat down next to him, yawning. "Yeah, me too, bud. Seriously? Cinderella? Again? You're such a nerd. Is that what Disney fans are? Or are they dorks?" He asked, his voice sharp, sarcastic, but caring.

"Ner-orks. But also really cool people, if you must know, Tony. I would know," he put his hand under his chin, "because I am a Disney fan and extremely cool, obviously." He sounded full of himself. He fidgeted with the arrows and ruffled his hair. "Are we going to completely ignore last night? Because I'd both love to and hate too."

"God, Clint, you're a weirdo." Tony said, chuckling, "Make up your mind." Tony patted Clint's knee gently before standing up.

"Actually, I did. I've decided that we'll talk about it later. But for now, I have a prank. A little bit of fun. I figured you needed it," Clint touched his hearing aid gently, smirking a little.

Ah, leave it to Clint to figure out a way to piss off/amuse the team. Tony spread his arms and make a 'let's hear it' face. Clint licked his lips and started to use his hands to explain.

"Okay, so, the team thinks slash knows you and Steve are basically a team - by the way, you are a thing, right? Y'all kissed. Three times. I didn't tell anyone about the first time, y'know, I was being a good friend back then. But you kissed twice. In front of everyone, dude. It's obvious y'all love each other." Tony awkwardly shifted on the couch as Clint talked, "But no worries, Tony, no one will bring it up yet. Anyways, I have a plan. The Avengers need a laugh." The smirk on Clint's face was priceless. He'd come up with something clever.

"We should totally act like a couple to freak everyone out," Clint said, a smile playing on his lips. Tony laughed.

"Oh my God, Clint, they'd have a heart attack. Natasha would probably give me her sternest parent-talk about how if I broke your heart she'd stab me violently." Tony said, ignoring the pain in his ribs as he coughed. He was fine.

Clint raised his eyebrows. "I bet Steve would get jealous. You did kiss him yesterday."

"Hey!" Tony protested, "We're not actually dating or anything." He paused. "Kissing him was a mistake." His voice dropped. Clint put his hand on Tony's shoulder.

"Hey, it was not. Steve kissed you like five seconds later. Dude, you're fine. He loves you." Clint said supportively, gasping at a part in the movie. Tony looked at the screen then back at Clint. Clint smiled at the movie in such a Clint way that it made Tony laugh some more. He clutched his ribs and coughed slightly. Clint immediately turned to him, concerned.

"Tony, ground rules: you are to tell me if you feel sick or tired or nervous you are to tell me immediately. And, try not to puke all over my hot bod." Clint said, accidentally slipping and using sign language again. Clint did this whenever he was nervous.

"Alright," Tony said before raising his eyebrows, "honey."

"I see we are using my awesome, hilarious plan!" Clint said, whooping. "Alright, sweetheart. Should we just," he suddenly looked awkward, which was a weird look on Clint, as nothing ever seemed to faze him, "flirt with each other? God, they'll all fall for this."

As if on cue, Bruce walked into the room, clearly exhausted. "Oh, darling," Tony complained, "you simply must buy me a new coffee machine." He wrapped his arms around Clint, who was still sitting.

Clint rolled his eyes. "Love, you're not allowed to have coffee." Clint wrapped his arms around Tony's waist and put his forehead against Tony's. Bruce sighed and the rest of the team appeared. Tony jumped - a real flinch, they popped out of nowhere, the goddamned idiots - and Clint stood up. Tony rubbed his face and didn't look up. Clint was stuttering, pretending like he couldn't get words out. Unlike Tony, Clint could blush super easily. A single thought? The man's face could turn red. And so it did.

Steve paused, and Tony could see him fighting a war within himself. Thor was laughing. Bruce was shrugging it off, although he looked confused, Natasha was basically glaring at them but her eyes sparkled, and Rhodey was blinking in astonishment.

But Steve's sad look was killing Tony.

"Hey! Hey! Just a joke, y'all." Clint said, noticing Steve too, giving a sorry look to Tony. "We wanted to see if y'all would be happier or something. Tony and me? Seriously, guys? He'd gladly punch me and I've literally shot at him before."

Tony stood up and smiled, laughing. "Yes. You really thought I'd date someone like Clint? All of you are fools," he glanced at Steve, who was looking confused and a little hurt still. Natasha gave a sigh of relief and the rest of them laughed.

"Steve's an exception. He's an idiot, but he's a handsome idiot." Tony added, regretting it immediately. Steve blushed and looked like he was unable to say anything. He still looked iffy on the situation.

"Th-thanks...?" Steve finally responded, looking at his feet. Tony clenched his jaw. Great job, Mr. Stark, you've made the room awkward again.

"Alright. Let's go out. I don't want to stay here. Unless, of course, you let me go into my own basement." Tony said, throwing his hands into the air and picking up a cookie from a plate in the kitchen. He bit into it. It tasted lovely - Natasha and Bruce probably made them (don't tell anyone, but Tony knows how they love to cook together - and even though Wanda and Vision usually are the ones cooking, everyone agrees Nat and Bruce are the real talented chefs).

Clint shifted and smiled at Natasha. "We should go out," he said, "some sunshine would do us all good." Steve nodded and grabbed Tony's hand. Tony shivered at his touch. Steve's hands were cold but soft. Tony could feel the gentleness and the strength in them. Tony looked up at Steve's eyes.

"I agree. Who's up for a picnic?" Bruce said, toying with a pencil. Natasha was already searching for some sort of big basket. "I can get Thor over here. I talked to Rhodey; he's busy. Sam is too. I can see if Pepper can meet us." Bruce offered.

Natasha nodded. "Thor should come, but Pepper's working today. Vision and Wanda are probably making out somewhere in a romantic forest, so let's not worry about them." She grabbed a large woven basket and started planning what everyone would eat.

"We all like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, correct?" Tony asked. Everyone nodded. "Alright, Nat, you're on sandwich duty. Brucie, you can borrow one of my cars, please go get some snacks. Uh - let's see - Clint, we need some - goddamn, am I still not allowed to drink? - water, I suppose. Sparkling, please. And Steve, I need a kiss right here," he pointed at his cheek finally, ordering everyone around. Like he usually would.

Steve kissed Tony gently on the cheek and everyone scurried to do what they needed to. Tony smiled and helped Natasha with the sandwiches. "Tony, I'm proud of you." Nat whispered, "Look at what you've done."

Tony sighed. "It's not enough. I caused all of you grief. I made you guys worry." He responded quietly, dropping the knife. He bent over and picked it up, walking over to the sink to clean it, not trusting the floor to be perfectly clean.

"Tony, after you got - when you were in the hospital, we all thought the team would disband. We fought. Steve said that what we were doing was getting too dangerous. Bruce said that Steve was being stupid and that the world - and you, Tony - needed us more than ever. Steve threatened to quit. Physical fighting almost broke out. But Tony, you, you and your brilliant, charismatic, kind mind brought us back together." Natasha said, putting together two sandwiches for every one Tony made.

Tony sighed. "I'm glad some people feel that way," he mumbled, "but I should have listened to Clint. We could have captured them and rescued his daughter."

Natasha sighed, "You're wrong, Tony," she whispered, "they called us right after you left. They said that if the team - or more than one person - showed up, they'd kill her right away. We couldn't go after you, even."

Tony sighed and licked his lips, swallowing. Natasha suddenly took a sandwich without the top piece of bread and smacked it on Tony's face, making him stumble as it slipped off his face, leaving a trail of peanut butter and jelly on his cheek. He smiled and laughed, sticking his finger in the jelly and flicking a bit at Natasha, who gracefully avoided it, a smirk on her lips.

Clint walked into the kitchen and naturally joined in, grabbing the ketchup from the fridge and holding it dangerously. Tony put his hands up instantly. Natasha, unfortunately, was too late to surrender and Clint sprayed her with the red liquid, making her smooth ginger hair drip with the stuff. Tony chuckled before a spray of ketchup landed on his cheek. "Not fair, Barton! I had surrendered!" He exclaimed.

"What in the world are you doing?" Bruce whispered, horrified. He nearly avoided a squirt of ketchup. "Clint! Watch it! I'm not in this!" He said, slowly walking backward. Thor suddenly burst into the room, and when Clint tried to hit him with the vile tomato paste, his hammer got hit pretty hard.

Thor laughed. "You humans are hilarious! You throw food at each other simply to create conflict and make a mess!" He said, wiping his eyes. He licked some ketchup off his hammer before grimacing in disgust. "You drink weird liquids, too! What a vile kind of wine!" He said, obviously confused.

"Hey, bud, that's not wine, I'm banned, remember?" Tony said, and then Clint pointed the ketchup back at him.

"And you won't drink anything, right?" Clint threatened, eyes cold and face hard as he glared at Tony, squeezing the ketchup bottle slightly. Tony raised his hands a bit more.

"Nope! A good person, I am, would never disobey my best friends," he said quickly in response. He slowly grabbed the spraying thing by the sink and tapped it, spraying Clint with viciously cold water instantly, making him jump and drop the ketchup. Natasha swooped down and grabbed it, pouring loads of the tomato sauce on Clint's head, where it dripped down all across his body.

"Aaah! Nat!" He cried in dismay, jumping backward and grabbing a cookie that was sitting on the counter before throwing it so it just missed Natasha and crumbled against the wall. "You know I never miss, Nat!" He cried, picking up a pie. Natasha gasped.

"You wouldn't dare!" She said, mocking betrayal. Clint began to throw the pie, but instead of hitting Natasha, it landed right on Tony's face. Tony gasped and the room began to scream in uproar as he wiped his eyes. Clint fell on the floor he was laughing so hard.

Thor laughed and Bruce was doing the 'oooohhhh' thing that happens in public schools with Clint, and Natasha was whooping. Tony blinked it out of his eyes and grabbed the sink thing again, spraying Thor and Bruce with it. Bruce yelped and ducked behind a couch and Thor pretended to wash his long hair with the water.

Clint leaped from off the floor and turned the squirty-thing to face Tony, making him get himself all wet. Tony gasped as the water sloshed against his face. "Friday! Turn off the sink!" He cried and the sink turned off quickly. Tony wiped his face, laughing. "My house, Clint, I make the rules! No spraying me with water!" Tony said, smirking.

Just then, Steve walked in and came up to Tony, grabbing his hand. Flustered, Tony didn't realize Clint pouring a bottle of water over his head. Tony gasped as the cold water ran down his body. "Clint!" He cried. Steve chuckled and Tony looked ultra betrayed, with his mouth hanging open and everything. Tony could hear Bruce laughing on the couch and Thor was grinning.

"Hey! Hey! I surrender!" Tony cried, feeling his ribs starting to ache. He gulped and tried to force his body to stop hurting. He raised his hands, ripping his hand out of Steve's maybe a little too forcefully. Steve looked at Tony with a confused and hurt look.

Clint narrowed his eyes. "Alright, guys," Tony guessed Clint must have been able to tell Tony was hurting, "let's clean up and get going." Natasha nodded, examining Tony with her eyes. Tony shifted, uncomfortable. He needed to step up his 'I'm fine' game.

"Dum-e, hey, you two, clean this all up," Tony commanded, making the robots jump a little before scurrying over. "They'll probably be half-way done by the time we get back, but they'll do it. Or I'll sell them online," He added, glaring down the robots, which moved faster.

Clint was in charge of holding the basket for the whole walk, despite his efforts to avoid this duty. Originally, Steve was going to carry it, because of super-strength and everything, but after Clint's act with the ketchup, they all deemed it an appropriate punishment for poor Clint. He'd grumbled a little, but when the whole team's staring down at you stubbornly, you kind of have to obey.

They walked for a little while. It was a sunny day with a nice breeze, and the grass was green as spring had begun. Tiny flowers were sprouting up along the sidewalks. Tony led them to a small park. It looked like nothing at first; New York had much larger, nicer parks, but this one was small with one table and was surrounded by trees. It was also completely empty.

Except for two people.

"Bucky!" Steve cried, running towards his friend, who was supposed to be sitting at home, far away, in a cold forest cabin. Bucky opened his arms too late and Steve and him ended up on the ground.

"Peter!" Tony said, grimacing. He loved the kid, don't get him wrong. Peter walked over, smiling awkwardly, ruffling his own hair.

"Hey, Mr. Stark," He said. Tony rubbed his head but smiled and patted Peter on the back. Clint squinted at Peter before handing him the basket. Peter took it, almost falling with its weight, which he didn't expect. Natasha shook Peter's hand and grabbed the basket from him, giving Clint a mean look. Bucky was awkwardly trying to push Steve off of him while Steve pestered him with questions.

Tony looked away. Why couldn't Steve hug him like that? He tried to push away the spikes of jealousy. He gulped and gestured to the table, sitting down next to Peter. Natasha put the basket on the table - which rocked everytime someone moved or bumped into it - and took a sandwich out before jumping up into a tree next to the table. Clint tried to grab one too, but Peter grabbed it and pulled it towards him, smirking at Clint. Peter took two out, handing one to Tony, who accepted it with a quick 'thanks, kid.'

Everyone took a sandwich. Thor ended up sitting on the grass - Clint told him he'd crush the seat with his massive muscles - Steve sat next to Bucky, Clint had climbed into the tree - higher than Natasha - and Bruce sat down next to Tony. Tony, Bruce, and Peter began to talk about electrons and what Peter was doing in school, while Steve and Bucky talked about the 'old days.' Clint and Natasha were bickering fondly, as usual.

When everyone was done, Peter jumped up on the table and smiled at everyone. He clapped his hands together, making Clint, who was arguing about scientific things he didn't know anything about, jump and almost fall. Tony snickered. "I have a friend I'd like all of you to meet," he said, "well, you've technically met her before. She'll be here in five, four," he started counting down.

Interrupting him, a young, pretty girl walked up. "Shuri! That's my main meme! Everyone, officially meet Shuri. She's King T'Challa's sister." Peter said, extending his hand. She took it and jumped on the table with him.

Clint fell with a yelp suddenly. Everyone turned to see Black Panther in his place. T'Challa took off the mask and looked at everyone, smiling at his sister. "Ow..." Clint groaned from the ground, where he landed on his bum. Natasha laughed at him. Everyone stood. Tony, Bruce, and Steve bowed. Steve elbowed Bucky, who then bowed with them. Peter saluted the King. Thor smiled.

"Ah! So you're the other king!" Thor said, chuckling. "I am Thor." T'Challa raised his eyebrows.

"I know," T'Challa responded. Shuri touched Bucky's hair, making Bucky turn around, perplexed. "Shuri, please cease touching people's hair. It is not only strange, but it is also awkward." He commented. Shuri shrugged and touched Peter's.

"It's nice to see you again, Your Majesty," Tony said. Natasha nodded in agreement. Bucky and Steve shifted. Bucky hid his face and looked like he was going into cardiac arrest and was constipated at the same time. Steve grabbed his hand. Another wave of jealousy ran over Tony. Bucky was just Steve's friend. They were like brothers. No reason to get jealous.

Clint walked over to stand by Steve. "I apologize, Barton, for knocking you down. I hope that all of our rivalries have diminished. Same to you, Rogers and Barnes." T'Challa commented, jumping down and landing with perfect grace.

"We apologize too. We all forgive each other, then?" Steve said. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Awesome. Now, what are we going to do?" Clint said.

"Vines!" Peter and Shuri yelled simultaneously.

"Shuri, your addiction to 'vines' and 'memes' is getting out of hand, please do not annoy everybody with them like you do me-" T'Challa started, facepalming, shaking his head.

"Peter, remember how I told you to not do anything that I wouldn't do? Would I indulge in vines?" Tony said.

Shuri and Peter laughed. "Hey, Jared, can you read number nineteen to the class?" Shuri asked.

"No I cannot," Peter responded, "hi I'm Jared, I'm nineteen and I never fucking learned how to read."

Tony gasped. "Watch your language!" He scolded. T'Challa looked like he was dying. Thor laughed.

"Peter, your name isn't even Jared!" Thor said, slapping his knee. Clint looked pleased and Natasha raised her eyebrows. However, Bucky and Steve looked confused and lost.

"Brother! Please, put your mask on. I wish to show them the technology." Shuri said. T'Challa did so, standing on the bench. Shuri pointed to the ears. "Such ears! Much wow! Very good! Such awesome! Much cat!" She exclaimed. Peter was laughing so hard he had to sit down. T'Challa put his hand up to where his mouth would be before jumping back on the tree.

"Shuri, I swear-" he started.

"Captain Rogers, may I see your shield? It's made of vibranium, right?" Shuri asked sweetly. Steve handed her the shield, nodding, confused. Shuri handed it to Peter. "This bitch empty!" Shuri yelled.

Peter looked at her with a desperate look before throwing Steve's shield, screaming "YEET" as loud as he could. Steve looked so confused he might cry. Bucky was chuckling. Tony and T'Challa glanced at each other.

Clint grabbed a stick. "This bitch empty, too!" He shouted before throwing the stick at Natasha, screaming 'yeet' too. Natasha caught it easily. Thor raised his hammer.

"Wait, no-" Tony said before Thor threw it gently, whispering 'yeet.'

"It didn't do anything special. What is the point of this spell?" Thor asked, looking genuinely disappointed.

"It's not a spell," T'Challa explained, "it is a stupid thing that children these days find interest in."

"Hey! I'm old and I like vines!" Clint objected. T'Challa sighed, obviously pondering his existence.

"You don't count. You're basically a big baby." Natasha chimed in, sharpening the stick with a pocket knife.

"What? Explain!" Clint demanded.

"Well, you like to throw fits, are dramatic, egotistical at your low skills - I mean, Tony's egotistical, but he at least has some skills - and you like to color in children's coloring books. Not to mention you cry at Disney movies." Natasha retaliated instantly. Clint stuck out his tongue at her.

"Okay, but how can you not cry at them? Y'all don't have hearts." Clint shot back.

"I cry at Disney movies!" Peter chimed in. Tony looked disappointed.

"If I may interrupt," Clint said, gently pushing Peter off the table, "can we talk about how Tony Stark and Steve Rogers are totally fucking in secret?"

"Clint!" Steve and Tony both cried. Steve covered his face with his hand and Tony put his head on Bruce's shoulder as Bruce laughed. Peter gasped. Shuri and T'Challa looked confused. Peter whispered to her why everyone was freaking out about this.

"Wait! Does this mean all that fighting was sexual tension?" Shuri asked. Steve looked at her with alarm. Tony shifted.

"No, it wasn't!" Tony said finally, "It was - we were - it was fighting! Disagreeing!" He said. Bruce pat him on the shoulder. Steve's face was red. Wait- did Steve feel that way back then? Oh god.

"Ah, so it was just a divorce." Shuri came to the conclusion.

"We weren't dating!" Tony said. "We- we aren't dating! Wait- are we dating?" Tony said, confused. His head was beginning to spin and he felt lightheaded. He took a deep breath. He was fine.

"Uh," Steve paused, "a-are we?" Tony didn't answer. How could he? They waited in silence. Steve walked over to Tony and put his hand on Tony's cheek. "Do you want to be?" Steve asked gently. Tony looked up at his blue eyes and his gentle face. Tony opened his mouth but no sound would come out. Tony nodded and gently leaned his head against Steve's chest. Steve ran his hands over Tony's hair before kissing his head gently.

"Oh, aren't I the perfect matchmaker?" Shuri bragged. Tony lifted his head and looked at her, mouthing 'thank you' to her. She winked at him. "Well, T'Challa and I better be going," she paused and smirked, "for now. My main meme, keep sending me memes you find." And with that, her and T'Challa walked away.

Steve leaned down, startling Tony before Steve picked him up bridal-style easily. Tony smiled fondly. "I weigh nothing to you, do I?" He asked.

"Tony, a car weighs nothing to me," Steve said, "but that worries me because I could so easily hurt you." His hands gently held Tony, but fear was prominent in his eyes. Tony reached up and touched Steve's face.

"You never hurt me," Tony whispered. It wasn't true, of course. Steve almost killed Tony. Tony swallowed hard. No, this Steve, the Steve he loved, wouldn't hurt him. Steve smiled at him and put Tony down gently.

"Okay, good job guys, but get a room? My poor eyes," Clint said, covering his eyes, acting disgusted despite grinning. Natasha nodded in agreement but gave them a thumbs up. Bruce was focusing on sketching something. Peter clapped. Thor smiled.

"Well, I must be going," Thor said before promptly leaving, shooting into the sky. They waved and watched him go.

"Anyone else leaving?" Tony asked, his gaze falling on Bucky. He didn't hate Bucky, don't get him wrong, but knowing that Bucky had such a deep relationship with Steve - and was single - worried him. What if Steve decided he loved Bucky more and left him? Tony couldn't talk much of the old days with Steve, while Bucky could recite their precious childhood memories.

Natasha nodded. "I've got a mission. Clint, you can stay here. Bucky, you're coming with me. We've got heavy things that need to be lifted." She said. Steve looked at Bucky, longing in his eyes. He missed his best friend. They'd lost so much time together. A pit of sorrow was dragging Tony down. Maybe Steve deserved Bucky. Maybe Steve shouldn't love Tony. Why should he? Tony was cocky, arrogant, and stupid. Someone like Steve deserved better. The whole team deserved better.

Bucky smiled at Steve. "Well, you've finally decided to get in a relationship," he said, eyes shining. He looked proud. A little sad, maybe, but mostly proud. As a friend should be. He and Natasha walked away, talking.

"Okay, guys, uh-" Peter began, "we should dance. Aunt May and I always dance when we go to empty parks. It's fun, c'mon." Tony was about to object when Peter said, "Please?" God, how can anyone not give into that? Tony sighed and chuckled.

"Sure, kid." Tony said. Steve jumped up on the table - which creaked and complained - while Bruce sat on the grass, running his fingers over the blades and drawing. "Friday, please play my kid-friendly playlist." Clint jumped to his feet.

"No way. Disney music?" He cried, excited as 'Be Our Guest' started playing. Clint jumped up and down, acting far too dramatic. Steve looked around.

"How are you supposed to dance to Disney?" Steve asked while Peter did a backflip, landing it perfectly. Clint climbed up the tree and did a backflip too, barely landing it with an 'oof.'

"You're right. Friday, please." One of Tony's favorites came on. Classic 'Back In Black.' Tony began dancing to it. It wasn't good dancing. If they were recording, it would probably end up on the 'cringier' side of YouTube.

Crash!

The table fell with a crash. Peter, luckily, landed on Steve instead of Steve landing on him. Clint began to laugh obnoxiously. Clint could laugh very loudly, and if you weren't in a good mood, you'd slap him, but usually, his laughter made everyone else laugh. And it did. Peter started laughing so hard he was crying while Steve looked concerned.

Tony chuckled and asked, "Is everyone alright?"

"Yeah," Peter said in between wheezes. Steve nodded and gently lifted Peter off of him an set him on the ground carefully. "Oh! Captain. I'll go get your shield. I'm sorry for throwing it." He added apologetically. Steve laughed and patted him on the back.

"It's no problem," Steve said kindly. "But I would appreciate it if you could retrieve it for me." Peter nodded and quickly ran in the direction he 'yeeted' it in. Steve turned to Tony, Clint, and Bruce, "So, this was fun. What now? What excitement awaits us?"

Just then, Thor landed back in front of them. With Loki next to him, smirking. Clint took a deep, shaky breath and Bruce let out a tiny 'oh no' while Steve and Tony simply looked at them. "Hello, friends! I brought my brother! Loki!"

Loki bowed, chuckling. Clint reached for the stick that Natasha had been sharpening and then held it threateningly towards Loki's heart. Loki raised his eyebrows. "Ah, lovely, you're all still feisty." He said, "What fun this'll be."

"Don't fucking try me," Clint hissed, "I'm a trained assassin. I'll kill you." Thor laughed at this. Loki stepped closer, looming over Clint. Clint held the stick tighter - so tight that his knuckles were turning white and the splinters were digging into his hand.

"Oh, I don't doubt it," Loki said, walking around Clint. "Ah, Captain Rogers. What a pleasure to see you and Mr. Stark again. And is that the Hulk? Wow. I'm so pleased." Loki reached for Tony's hand. Tony slowly shook hands with him, but when he tried to pull his hand back, Loki gripped it tighter. "Ah, so you are injured. What a pity." Tony took a deep breath and yanked his hand back.

"Hey, back off," Steve said, intervening. He grabbed Tony's hand gently, making sure Loki hadn't hurt Tony. Clint suddenly stabbed the piece of wood into Loki's shoulder violently. Loki sighed and lazily pushed Clint to the ground. Loki grabbed the piece of wood and yanked it out of his shoulder.

"You do realize, Clint Barton, that I am a god?" Loki said, looking disappointed. Clint clenched his jaw and stood up. Steve stepped closer to Loki, his fists clenched.

"Hey, Captain Crunch, calm down," Tony mumbled, "we're in a park near apartments. A fight here would not be good," Tony glanced at Bruce, who was looking at the ground. Steve unclenched his fists and stretched his fingers. Thor laughed.

"Anyways, I'm leaving you with my brother for now. He was being bothersome back at home, and I figured you would be the perfect," Thor paused, looking perplexed, "babysitters. Ah, that's the word."

"Thor, he tried to kill us!" Clint said, clearly outraged.

"You're allowed to smack him. He does require food occasionally. Get ahold of me if he starts killing people. See you soon! Love you guys." Thor said before flying away. Loki licked his lips and put on a smile.

"We can't - I - I'm - I did not sign up for this!" Clint yelled, kicking the tree. Loki laughed.

"Well, now you're stuck with me. Let's go somewhere. Ooh, how about Stark's home? Don't all of you basically live there anyway?" Loki slipped a gold ring off his finger and swung it around on the tip of his pinky. He was chewing something - Tony guessed some sort of space gum or whatever the hell they eat.

Steve grabbed Loki's arm suddenly, holding it so tight that Loki winced. "No games, alright? If you do anything fishy we'll beat you." He hissed. Loki nodded promptly and Steve let go. Holding his wrist, Loki looked at all of them.

"I'm not here to fight. I don't have any weapons and I know that I cannot beat you without something strong. Don't get me wrong - I'm strong. But it's so much effort to fight! Let's play a game. A fun game." Loki paused and smirked at Bruce, but there was fear deep in his eyes. "How about truth or dare? I hear mortals love that kind of game."

"Yeah, why should we 'play' with you?" Clint hissed.

"Because if you don't," he smirked and pointed a long finger at Bruce, "I might not behave." Bruce shifted and gulped, playing with his pencil. Tony stepped in front of him. What choice did they have? Maybe this could stop Loki from wreaking havoc for a little while. Plus, it's just truth or dare. Nothing too worrisome. They might even have fun.

"Fine," Tony said, jumping in. Clint started glaring at him. "What? Do you really want a fight, right here, right now, Clint?" Tony hissed back at him. Steve sighed. Bruce opened his mouth but didn't say anything. Clint forced a smile on his face and turned to Loki.

"Good. Let's play at the house. Where I have my bow." Clint said, looking darkly at Tony. Tony couldn't help but worry; had he made Clint seriously mad at him? The badass archer was usually pleasant but once you got on his bad side... well, things were never fun. Tony nodded in agreement.

They all started walking back. "This is a terrible idea," Bruce muttered, standing next to Tony. "I-I think it'd be best if I went home. Or somewhere." He whispered to Tony, "I'm not safe." Tony sighed and gritted his teeth.

"Yeah. If you want." Tony responded, rubbing his head, "Good plan." They continued walking for another minute before Bruce apologetically patted Tony on the shoulder and turned around, walking the opposite direction. Tony waved to him and sped up a little, keeping up with Steve and Clint, who were basically marching, glaring down Loki. Loki simply smiled up at them both.

"Bruce decided to walk away," Tony whispered to Clint, who simply ignored him. Tony swallowed hard and rubbed his ribs, which were starting to hurt even more. He walked behind them, carefully, watching the ground, nearly panicking. Everyone hated him. He shouldn't have made the decision. He should have left it to Steve.

Soon enough, they reached the house and went inside. Loki threw himself down on one of the couches and Clint sat down, fingers running over his bow as he grabbed it. Steve sat down next to Tony on a separate loveseat.

"Perfect. The game commences. Tony, darling, truth or dare?" Loki asked, playing with a pen he'd picked up off the coffee table, smirking, eyes glittering. Tony shifted uneasily.

"Truth." He finally answered. He could always lie. Plus, with his body starting to ache, whatever sick dares the manic came up with wouldn't be fun.

"What's your honest opinion on everyone in the room?" Loki asked smoothly after a brief silence. Huh. Tony had expected worse.

"I think you're a fucking idiot and are deeply annoying and I'd gladly kill you. I think that Clint is a pretty alright person and is a very skilled individual, although stubborn, like me. And Steve," Tony paused and looked at him, "well, he's Steve." He hadn't planned on saying anything else, but something unsettling came over him and forced him to keep speaking, "He's perfect. Gorgeous. Strong. Reliable. I don't deserve him, honestly. He's... well, perfect." Tony tried to shut up, but he couldn't. "And he has a nice ass." Tony's face flushed red. "What the fuck?" He said finally, able to control the words coming out of his mouth.

"Ah. Playing truth or dare means that you have to tell the truth and always do the dare. Did I not tell all of you this? And if you decide to quit, I will have to unfortunately light things aflame, and that's never pleasant, so please continue playing." Loki explained with his eyes closed, clicking the pen and shrugging.

Tony's heart rate quickened. Oh no. This could be bad. Clint looked even angrier now and Steve just looked simply confused, flustered, angry, and somewhat pleased all at once. It was odd and confusing. "Clint. Truth or dare." Tony said - he wanted to give Clint the option to pick on Loki.

"Truth," Clint responded, eyes not moving to look at Tony.

"What's your honest favorite color?" Tony asked.

"A soft lilac." He responded, eyes narrowing at Loki, "Okay, asshole, your turn. Truth or dare."

Loki paused and his eyebrows twitched, "Well, since everyone's chosen truth, I'll choose that as well, please."

"What is your most traumatizing experience?" Clint asked. Tony let out a shaky breath, glad he wasn't the one receiving this question. Steve reached out and touched Tony's hand, making him jump. Tony ran his fingers over Steve's hand gently, before giving it a little squeeze.

Loki looked at Clint spitefully, "When I was six I stabbed my brother for the first time. I thought he was going to die. I stabbed myself as well, just to experience what he was going through. After I learned that both him and I could recover from measly stab wounds easily, stabbing him became easier. But it had scared me as a child." Once he was done, he whispered a string of curses and clenched his fist. "Steven!" Loki said sharply, "Truth or dare?"

"I can't believe we're doing this," Steve mumbled, "dare."

"I dare you to throw Mr. Stark out the window," Loki said, a devilish smile growing on his face. Steve opened his mouth to protest and his breathing became increasingly fast as he stood up and grabbed Tony, again bridal-style.

Tony sat in Steve's arms, silently panicking.

You never hurt me.

Tony felt like he was going to throw up as they approached the window. "Stop!" Clint screamed, "Loki, you unprecedented asshole! Stop!" Tony tried to scramble out of Steve's arms as Steve basically hyperventilated, whispering 'no' and 'stop' and 'sorry' over and over and over again.

Steve suddenly threw Tony. The window broke with a crash and Tony began to fall. His armor was destroyed. There was no rescue. The wind whistled in his ears as he fell. Luckily, Tony had been looking up.

The blue sky would be an okay sight to see before you die.

Blue like Steve's eyes.

\\author's note//

ah, yes, the angst train has returned

this one was a doozy!!

struggled a lil bit, but here it is.

please!! leave kind things!! or funny comments!!

also wow how rude of me to leave y'all on a cliffhanger,,,, tell me if you want me to tag you when I update!!

date: 3/28/18

word count: 6333

[purple-heart-x]

A Trade- Chapter 2

It's not quite the fun part, but enjoy this snippet! I'm in the midst of Chapter 3 right now. Many thanks to @shydragonrider for having me continue this! ///

That day had changed their lives, all of them. Immediately after getting to base, Medic had run straight for the medbay, not looking back for even a moment. Villain hadn’t moved for the whole ride, and neither did he Medic sprinting with him cradled in his arms. 

Despite his training, Medic would never forget the amount of bloody water, diluted by alcohol, pooled on the table. The smell of rotting skin and dirt and blood. The deadly silence despite the way Villain’s fingers twitched unconsciously, pain invading his mind even in sleep. 

It had taken him four days to regain consciousness. Four days of Medic passing in and out of sleep, waking up every hour to check on him and ensure he drank a few sips of water. But on the fourth day, he resisted. Weakly, he wrenched his head away from the glass, a groan in the back of his throat.

That was the start of months of recovery. For Villain. For Medic. For Leader. For all of them.

Over time, of course, Villain made bits of progress. When he’d awoken, he’d flinched away from anyone that came near, struggling until he was bunched up in a corner of the bed. Refused to eat anything for days, until hunger forced him to accept the food. 

Six months had given him time to adjust, though. Slowly, he’d come to accept that the heroes did not hold grudges for the past. That they wouldn’t hurt him. That they truly wanted to help him. 

Meanwhile, though, trouble was boiling. Not for Villain. Not for the heroes.

Someone else.

[tennessoui]

Feralwan POV!!!!

(spoilers ahead because i've been thinking about this scene in this fic for a very long time now) (also it's sad)(it's one of the inbetween chapter-scenes that deal with feralwan actually healing BEFORE the main plot of the story):

"And though I, as a Jedi, find myself hesitant to choose sides in this conflict, as the Jedi are foremost peace-keepers, I see after only a week of examination that the government of Mullnor has violated its mandate and hurt its people so much so that the Jedis' duty is to support the Wimiiuon claim to government," a twenty-four year old Obi-Wan Kenobi recites in front of the Council.

Here and now, Obi-Wan's lips move in tandem with the words as he watches the footage, curled up in his and his Anakin's nest.

It's a trial run of a mission. He, the present Obi-Wan, however old he is now, doesn't remember this.

It was stated at the beginning of the recording, that this was to be a trial run of Obi-Wan Kenobi's ability to bring diplomacy and peace to a fictional planet where both sides of the conflict have a solid stake on the government itself.

Though Obi-Wan can't remember why he or this test was chosen, the members of the Council in the Holo seem to know because they're already prepared with questions.

He's watched this holo so often that he doesn't know if he knows the meaning to these words or if he just knows what order they come in, because he already has the answer on his tongue when Mace Windu opens his mouth to ask--

"What are you doing?" Anakin asks in this new way of his, coming through the door faster than he did at the beginning but slower than Obi-Wan knows he must usually do so.

The omega smells...he smells....He smells like a hundred different things, none of them Obi-Wan and so all of them a little unsafe.

Perhaps even very unsafe for Ani.

He's growling before he can help himself and just like that, Anakin is melting, toeing off his shoes and outer robes and begging entrance into their nest with a short whine.

He thinks it's still Obi-Wan's nest, that he has to ask every time he joins him. As if he'd ever have a zone of comfort that didn't involve Anakin's scent, Anakin's presence.

As soon as he's inside the safe press of the blankets, Obi-Wan is too distracted scenting Anakin--stripping off the layers of foreign alpha, foreign food, foreign smell--to even think to shut off the recording until hi--the omega lets out a distressed whine.

"I told you not to watch this stuff," Anakin says, eyes big and wide and wet and focused on the frozen image of a younger, padawan Obi-Wan in front of the Jedi Council. "The words will come, I promise. Obi-Wan, I promise. You can't force them."

[everykabuto]

[excerptsfromtrauma]

i see your comments

your likes

the things you’ve saved

i hate the internet, technology for fuck sake

it’s so easy for your eyes to wander

[kohakhearts]

Relationship(s): Harry Potter & Lily Evans Potter, Harry Potter & James Potter, Harry Potter & Severus Snape Warnings: Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence Chapters: 2/? Word Count: 13.5k

Harry had given up hope of ever getting his chance at a family long ago, years before he even got his Hogwarts letter. But when in the midst of the war against Voldemort he suddenly gets an opportunity to have the family that was always supposed to be his, he must face a difficult choice: Return to the war that has torn this family away from him, or hold on to his heart’s deepest desire?

[randombnhatidbits]

Brief Intermission:✿ Nurse’s Office Sign ✿

[simplyannamazing]

Alertheid en Informatieverwerking

26 January 2021

Attention concerns, among other things, alertness and the speed or pace of information processing.

Alertness is the degree to which you are awake and alert. When you are alert, you can notice what is happening in your environment and in your body.

You need a certain amount of alertness or awareness throughout the day. For example in your family, at work, in traffic, in contacts with others, and so on.

“Wat vroeger vanzelf ging kost me nu veel moeite”

Brain injury can reduce or increase your alertness. Brain damage usually slows the speed of information processing.

Problems with information processing are increasing under time pressure and in a busy environment. A slower rate of information processing has consequences for the focusing and distribution of attention and the recording, storage and retrieval of information.

My thoughts ...

Describe a situation in which you suffer from a slowed-down rate of information processing.

Shopping in an outlet, too busy environment, with too many stimuli from people but also looking for offers, for example.

How do you deal with this now?

I do this once a year and make sure I am well prepared. I plan exactly which stores I want to visit and what I look for there. I also provide plenty of rest while shopping.

What other solutions can you come up with for this?

Usually I order online now.

When I go to the supermarket I make a list of groceries and try at a quiet time of the day.

What tips can you use for this?

PRET

Preparing everything

Make sure I am not tired and have enough rest. Alternate physical and mental activities.

We played TIC-TAK-TOE, The player who succeeds in placing three of their marks in a diagonal, horizontal, or vertical row is the winner. It’s a game where you play with strategy or tactics and observation or attention.

[cdfreak]

it is so glaringly obvious when youre reading a fic about a character’s abuse whether or not the writer has ever been abused. its so so obvious when people are just using it for angst and acting like a cute romantic moment can make it all go away.

[nightslain]

[Crawls out of the farthest pits of Hell to curse you all once more]

[chicgeekgirl89]

Arachnophobia: Chapter 3

Read Chapters 1 and 2 here

Sonny felt like he’d been hit by a truck. His throat was raw and his chest ached. The sharp smell of antiseptic in his nose told him he wasn’t at home and the hum of machinery nearby made him think he might want to wake up and figure out what the hell was going on.

He forced his eyes open, squinting against the brightness of his hospital room. Right. Spider bite. As soon as the memory hit him he lifted the neck of his hospital gown in a panic to look inside. He breathed a sigh of relief. Little Sonny was still attached and looked able to report for duty.

A glance further down told him his foot might be in worse shape. It was elevated at the end of the bed, wrapped in layers of white bandages. But that was still attached too so it couldn’t be too bad right?

There was oxygen flowing into his nose and a couple of IV’s stuck in his arm. He squinted up at the bags. Morphine. Saline. Something he didn’t recognize but looked more poisonous than helpful. Although he supposed if that were the case Trent probably would have taken care of it by now.

It was Clay who appeared in the doorway first, smiling at the sight of Sonny’s open eyes. “Hey there Spiderman,” he said. “Feeling the urge to leap some tall buildings in a single bound?”

“Maybe tomorrow,” Sonny said. He swallowed hard and Clay handed him a cup of water. “What the hell happened back there?”

“How much of it do you remember?”

“Puking my guts out. Feeling like my leg was gonna fall off. I remember Trent telling me to breathe. That’s about all I got.”

“Well we hauled your sorry ass out of that jungle. And then you uh, you stopped breathing there for a second Sonny.” Clay’s smile dimmed a bit. “Trent did CPR. Probably lucky he can bench press a horse.”

“Prob’ly,” Sonny said quietly a hand going to rub at his chest. It was tender and bruised and he’d never felt more grateful for his team. That Trent had managed to keep him alive without even cracking any of his ribs was more than impressive. He owed that man several beers.

“Blackburn sent in a few trucks. They got us out of there pretty damn fast. And here we are,” Clay said.

“Yeah for how long?”

“Until your foot stops looking like a bratwurst,” Trent said, stepping into the room followed by the rest of the team. “You are one lucky son of a bitch, you know that? You should be dead right now.” He looked serious. Sonny had clearly given them all a good scare.

“Yeah, well, gotta keep you guys on your toes,” he quipped trying to lighten the mood. He looked down at his foot. “Although guess I won’t be on mine for a bit.”

“Nah, you’ll be out of here in no time,” Ray said. “Take more than one little spider to keep Sonny Quinn down.”

“Damn straight.” Sonny cleared his throat. “You know I’m not one to get all sentimental but, thank you guys for what you all did. I appreciate it.”

“We all come home,” Jason said firmly. “Always.”

Sonny nodded. His brothers had made sure of it once again and for that he was forever grateful. Even if he was going to endure Spiderman jokes for the rest of time.

After they left he dozed, flipped channels, and then laid there completely bored out of his mind. His body hurt, but not nearly as badly as it had twenty-four hours ago. He was seriously contemplating just sneaking out when Lisa appeared, sparing him from his misery. “You’re an idiot,” she said, leaning against the doorframe.

“Well hey there Davis, that’s no way to treat an invalid.”

She smirked and came to sit by his bed, kicking her feet up next to his. “Invalid my ass. You could walk outta here on your own two feet right now and you know it.”

“Ya got me. Just playing it up for some sympathy.” He eyed her mischievously. “Is it working?”

She shook her head. “Nah.”

“Damn it.”

Her face turned a little more sober, her eyes searching his. “That was a little close there for comfort. You really doing all right?”

Sonny shifted so his thigh muscles would stop cramping. “Yeah, I’m good. Been through far worse than one little spider bite. Who needs to breathe anyway?”

“Uh, you do,” she pointed out.

“Nah. I’m a SEAL. I can hold my breath for an hour if I need to.”

“Ha! All right buddy. Clearly the brain damage is severe.”

The doctor entered the room and introduced himself. “I’ll just wait outside,” Lisa said, stepping away to give them privacy.

Sonny almost protested, almost said she didn’t have to go, but that would be ridiculous. He was a big boy, he could handle this conversation by himself.

“You’re looking good there Petty Officer,” the doctor said. “You’re a pretty rare case you know. Not too many people have such a bad reaction to a Brazilian Wandering Spider. We might even put you down in the books.”

“Ya hear that? I’m one for the books,” Sonny said loudly so Lisa could hear out in the hallway. She just smiled and rolled her eyes.

“You’re very fortunate. We don’t anticipate any permanent damage. The swelling should recede within the next twenty-four hours and everything should be back to normal.”

Sonny glanced at Lisa again and lowered his voice a bit. “Doc, by everything you do mean, everything, right? Like…all my bits and pieces? If you know what I’m saying?” He nodded his head down the bed fore emphasis.

The doctor suppressed a smile. “Yes, all your…bits and pieces will be fully functional. There are no records of long term adverse sides effects on male genitalia.”

Sonny let out a relieved breath. “Well that’s a relief. My foot I can live without. The other guy…not so much.”

“No need to worry. I’ll be back to check on you later. If all is going well we should be able to send you home tomorrow.”

“Thanks Doc,” Sonny said as he left the room and Lisa came back in.

“Well?” she asked. “What’s the prognosis? Are you going to be slinging webs and fighting bad guys? Do I need to go find you some spandex?”

“I’ll still be fighting baddies, but doc says I’ll have to do it without the super powers.”

“Damn. Some superpowers would have been pretty sexy.”

He cracked a grin. “Oh yeah?”

“Mmhmm,” she nodded and smiled back.

Sonny’s heart did a weird little flip. “You flirting with me Davis?” he teased.

“With you? Sorry Sonny, not even a near-death experience could make that happen,” she said.

But she’d hesitated just a second too long, did that thing where she swallowed and then her eyes didn’t quite meet his. The things she did when she was nervous. He was making her nervous?

“So,” she changed the subject, “they springing you tomorrow?”

“That’s the word on the street,” Sonny told her. “Unless I decide to make an early exit.”

“You’re going to keep your ass right there in that bed until the doctors say you’re good to go,” she said, her face serious. “Almost lost you once. We’re not doing that again. From now on you wear your boots at all times. Hiking. Running. Showering. Sleeping. All of it.”

“Yes ma’am.” He sent her a mock salute.

“Good.” She patted his shoulder.  “I’ll let you get some rest. Don’t you even think about getting out of here without permission. I’ve got my eye on you Quinn.”

“Davis!” he called when she reached the door. “Thanks for coming by.”

She smiled and then gave him the sign for ‘I’m watching you” before she walked out.

Sonny leaned back against the pillows a lazy grin on his face. Davis was the one who’d put it there. That was interesting. Maybe someday soon he’d think about that a little bit more.

He looked down at his hand and curled it into the Spiderman position and then flicked it toward the wall. Nothing happened. He sighed. Oh well. It never hurt to try.

[moonraccoon-exe]

I AM QUIET BECAUSE I’VE BEEN TURBO HYPER FOCUSING ON THE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST UPDATE

IT’S FOR YOU ALL

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

[bereft-of-frogs]

‘bound, at the end of the world progress’:

chapter 1: 7k words, only like two half scenes left to write

chapter 2: 6.6k words, a lot left to go, this seems to be developing into a bit of a monster chapter

chapter 3: 600 words. Merp

[I’m hesitating to start posting until I have all of it written, because I’ve already changed a bit of the plot around based on writing, so I don’t want to like trap myself in a corner...but we’re going to marathon this guys, it’s okay, I’m technically unemployed right now, it’ll be great ;-) ]

[pisswizard420]

LMFAO this doesnt have a title

Since I don’t have an AO3 I’m shoving the 1st chapter of this thing here because why not. It’s all after the cut

Warnings- you know WOnderland? That’s the warning. There’s some stuff that makes me feel a bit squirmy. (Body horror, some violence, memory loss)

Lucretia leaves off into Wonderland, searching for a bell, and she doesn’t come out. It’s been two months, and Davenport drinks the Voidfish Ichor because he’s thirsty and hungry and there’s no water or food. He drinks it and he remembers and it is horrible and painful, and he goes to find his crew. He goes and grabs Taako, Barry, Magnus, Merle and they start looking for Lup again. They don’t look for Lucretia. At this point, they decide, Lucretia is dead; they see no point in going to find a corpse.

Lucretia leaves off into Wonderland, searching for a bell, and she doesn’t come out. It’s been six months and she and Cam aren’t doing well. Her body shakes, she’s been spasming since the boss fight. Her body remembers the damage done by that lich on the 90th cycle now- Wonderland exposing her to that agony again. The hosts offer a bonus round, and they choose the escape game. They both get stuck, neither willing to leave the other when they have to be so, so close. “You should’ve left, Luc.” He’s taken to calling her that, ignoring any complaints she raised. “You look like shit.”

Lucretia leaves off into Wonderland, searching for a bell, and she turns to Cam, “I couldn’t just leave you behind. You’d die in a second if I wasn’t here to watch your back.” He could hear the unspoken reason: they have to be close and even if they aren’t she can’t stop now, she’s committed herself to this , looking for the bell, spiting the liches, inducting him into her family. “Maybe we should rest for a bit before we go into the next room. We may not be able to heal magically, but you finally stopped bleeding from where that one got you.” He looks down and sees she’s right. “Let’s wait a bit.” She hands him some jerky she conjured into existence. He rolls his eyes at the showing off, and then he conjures them up some water.

Lucretia leaves off into Wonderland, searching for a bell, and it’s been a decade. They have a lead on Lup’s location and Lucretia’s location. Taako and Barry go off to meet up with some Dwarf named Gundren, who’s questing in the area where Lup disappeared. Davenport takes the Starblaster with Merle and Magnus to a clearing in the Felicity Wilds. The earth is charred, and they see four liches fighting, two on two, each team with one of the relics. They hear the bell, and there’s a shield that warps around the ship suddenly- Davenport fancies he can see the soundwaves bouncing off of the shield.

Lucretia leaves off into Wonderland, searching for a bell, and it’s been a decade. She looks at Cam, cataloging all that they’ve lost. There are patches of magic where skin should be and limbs have been replaced with enchanted constructs and he looks at her half wild. He looks at her, cataloging all that they’ve lost. She’s lost memories, and she’s thrown herself under the bus for him, giving him time to recover after the liches asked for too much (they always asked for too much, always always always asked for too much these days.) She lost her memories of home, and her family, and so much and so had he. All he remembered was Wonderland and the fact that they came looking for a bell- she once confessed the same. It was upsetting to think about.

Lucretia leaves off into Wonderland, searching for a bell, and it’s been a decade. She looks at Cam, the only person in years that she hasn’t been pitted against. She looks at Cam, someone who she can fight with flawlessly, who there are inside jokes with, who she knows the favorite foods of, someone who is a brother to her in all but blood, her only family. She looks at Cam and she grins, and it is all wrong. Her cheeks stretch too wide and her eyes, her teeth, they all glint with strange new magic; the effect of the glinting and the unnatural movements would terrify most but not Cam, never Cam, he knows her too well for that. “I have an idea. What do you think about becoming liches?”

Cam looks at her, someone who he fights with flawlessly, who he shares inside jokes with, who he knows the favorite foods of, someone who is a sister to him in all but blood, his only family. He looks at her and he grins, and it is all wrong. His skin glows in patches, and his eyes seem to look almost through her. The effect of the glowing disjointed nature of his smile would terrify most but not Lucretia (Luc, his Luc), never Lucretia, she knows him too well for that. “Tell me more. This sounds like it could be useful.” He listens closely to her whispered words and- and- and he agrees that it would be a good idea- send two liches to beat two liches- necromancy against necromancy- complacency versus hungry determined angry. He thinks that it’s obvious who will win. He is the only one who thinks that.

Lucretia leaves off into Wonderland, searching for a bell, and its been a decade. Lucretia and Cam (Cam and Lucretia) set up and do a ritual to become liches, and they anchor themselves with each other, emotions tied together, stabilizing each other, keeping each other sane. It goes well and quickly and Lucretia casts a shield with that staff (Where did she get that staff from? She doesn’t remember) around their bodies to protect them. After that they start wrecking shit- trading focuses in midair and toying with the energy around them. They pull at the right string of necromantic energy and Wonderland burns away around them, freeing the other inhabitants. They don’t care about that though. Cam hurls off a spell that screams out wrongwrongeldritchwrong and it knocks Lydia back. Lucretia slams them between walls of magic. The twins retaliate.

Lucretia leaves off into Wonderland, looking for a bell, and its been a decade, and Davenport and Magnus and Merle can’t do anything except watch two sets of liches fight and fight and fight and fight and- and Taako calls Davenport on his stone of farspeech.  “So- there’s a bit of a-“ One of the liches bursts, taking another with it and Davenport can’t tell which duo won or whether or not it’s a good thing and the bell rings loud and clear and nothing happens and Taako says, “Is something going on?” The stone cuts out and the shield falls, and the two liches that survived drift over to the ship.

Lucretia leaves off into Wonderland, looking for a bell, and its been a decade. It’s been a decade and Wonderland is gone and she and Cam are free and they try and undo what the bell did and it doesn’t work, so Cam sets it down and she shields it and they drift over to the ship. In unison they touch down lightly on the deck. “Hello.” She smiles, and from the way that the gnome pales it doesn’t seem like she did a very good job. She probably didn’t- she doesn’t have lips in her lich form. “I’m Lucretia. You are?” Surprisingly enough, the gnome pales further, mouthing her name. She thinks he might know her. She feels a strange sort of disinterested curiosity. “This is Cam.” She doesn’t go into more detail; he doesn’t need more; it’s obvious who he is. She gestures at Cam, who gets less than a cursory glance. She notices that. She doesn’t like it.

Lucretia and Cam burn down Wonderland, after a decade of looking for a bell.  They burn it down, and they sit there watching a group of people looking a mix of horrified and sad and the tall tan ruffboi looks at Lucretia and puts a hand out to shake, saying, “I’m Magnus.” There’s a pause while she shakes his hand, and then he gestures to the dwarf and gnome. “These are Merle and Capnport. We knew you before that place.” His hands move around nervously at the end of his sentence. Lucretia looks at Cam, asking him, asking him something with her eyes.

Lucretia and Cam burn down Wonderland, after a decade of looking for a bell. They burn it down, and now Lucretia is looking at him wondering- just- just wondering and he nods. He vaguely remembers her mentioning them in the past. He opens his mouth to speak, to cover for her discomfort. “Why didn’t you come?” He sounds dangerous and for a moment seems to fizz with lightning and then Lucretia puts a hand on his shoulder and he zooms back into himself. “Why didn’t you come for her?” Her hand stays on his shoulder- a steady presence. A grounding presence.  

Taako and Barry go to find Lup, and Phandolin burns. Phandolin burns and they find Lup and Barry grabs the umbrella and smashes it and she flies out. She flies out and they wait for Davenport to come pick them up. Davenport comes and Lucretia-but not quite- and someone else are standing casually on the deck, each holding a relic, and neither recognizing any of them. Neither seem to recognize Taako or Lup or Barry and Taako walks over to Lucretia and opens his mouth and then in unison Lucretia and the other one say, “Don’t remember (she doesn’t remember) you sorry.”

“What the fuck, my dude.” For a moment he is shaken out of his anger, for a moment he sees the way magic seems to coat the pair, slick and oily and sliding down over their bodies. For a moment he sees two small elves, short golden hair and long golden braid. For a moment he is shaken out of his anger, and when that moment passes he shoves it to the side because he’s Taako and its no good being mad at someone if you can’t constantly rub in why you’re mad. “That’s some fucked up shit.”

“Big mood.” Lucretia-and-Cam, Cam-and-Lucretia have a habit of speaking in unison. Taako-and-Lup, Lup-and-Taako had a habit of doing that, so Taako isn’t overly weirded out by it. Lucretia grimaces a bit though and says, “Sorry. We’re trying to work on doing that a bit less often. It seems to be a bit of a thing when talking to other people.” Taako nods, jerky and stiff. He’s not really enjoying the similarities with a younger him and Lup (Lup and him) but- but- but they’re there. The similarities are there, the hungry eyes, and the standing close, and the speaking as one, and he understands. He pushes his understanding aside. He speaks.

“The name’s Taako.” He tries not to be a little unnerved by the lack of recognition in her eyes. He does, of course, succeed at that because he’s Taako mother-fucking [insert last name here] and it takes a little bit more than not being recognized at all from someone you spent one hundred years on a ship with to unnerve him. It takes a lot more than that (okay, so he wouldn’t admit it to anyone except maybe Lup, but it does unnerve him. It does scare him. It does make him uncomfortable- and where is Lup when you need your other half, your moral compass? And he looks at Lucretia and Lucretia stole Lup from him and look at her with all of them stolen from her, all of the crew, her home, her family, one hundred and twenty years gone, and how is he supposed to respond to that? Vindication? Anger? Anything would be better than this dull sense of empathy, this dull understanding that he doesn’t want to have.)

“Lucretia. Nice to meet you, again I suppose.” Her expression is bland. It is the polite disinterest when meeting a distant relative. He hates it. It makes him uncomfortable, especially because when he first saw Magnus, and Merle, and Davenport before he got inoculated he looked at them like that. Barry (his brother in law! The guy who married his sister!) looked at him like that. He really, really doesn’t like it.

“Cam,” says the tall half elf standing closely next to Lucretia. He looks at Taako like Taako is a threat (Which ‘cha boy is, natch, but still, it kind of stings.) “So, you knew Lucretia.” The tone is conversational- how about that weather- but the eyes are not- they’re more how about I kill you. Lucretia elbows Cam in the gut, and Cam and says nothing. Taako gets elbowed in the gut with an image of Lup doing the same to him, and then it hits him again. There’s a tiny hint of the closeness of a younger him and Lup, and of course there is. Of course there is, because look at the two of them and doesn’t it just ache with sick familiarity. Don’t they just reek of it, and each moment it hits him he hates it. He hates that everything about Lucretia and this stranger screams out in familiar wrongness. Its like the dark mirror version of him and Lup except one of them is an amnesiac traitor and the other is her amnesiac codependent lackey. He hates it so much, so much, so much.

Cam doesn’t know how he feels about these strangers, these ones that claim they know Lucretia. He doesn’t know how to feel about how in the two hours since they met both in and out of their bodies they’ve given Lucretia weird looks and him none at all- like he doesn’t exist or matter at all. He also doesn’t know how to feel about the elven wizard standing in front of them, looking at them with a strange expression on his face. Then the elf speaks, and Cam makes up his mind.

“Yeah,” the elf says. “How much have they told the both of you?” He puts an emphasis on both. Cam thinks he likes this elf.

“Nothing,” he replies.

Taako (the elf earned being called by his name rather than simply being “the elf”) tilts his head and begins, “Did they give you any of the ichor?”

“No.”

“Then this might be a bit hard to explain to you. Lucretia is around 130 years old.”

“What?” “What?”

“She died around” static “times, but she” static. “There’s a vore cloud. There’s also a memory voring” static “There was a plan to” static static static “but Lucretia didn’t agree with it so she” static static static “then she went into Wonderland, leaving the Captain alone, and he inoculated himself accidentally. He thought she was dead, so he didn’t go looking for her. He started looking for” static static static static static “Then a decade passed before he decided to go and find her body.” A beat. “We were angry.” He turns to Lucretia. “I’m sorry we didn’t force the issue.”

Lucretia stares at the elf (not Taako anymore) “I- thank you for telling me the truth. I’m sorry, for what I did to you. That was unfair to you.” The elf nods. He looks vaguely distressed, vaguely angry. He says nothing. He turns to Cam.

“How much did you understand?”

“Not much. It was mostly static.”

“I have a sister.” Pause “Lucretia.” Pause. “Stole” pause static static static.

“I didn’t get some of that.” Taako, Cam thinks he understands a bit now.

“We’ll have to get you inoculated.” Taako does a heel turn and starts walking off. “Have the two of you eaten?”

[shysimblr]

This is my last entry, I leave tomorrow and in some ways I’m happy. I feel better its been a long 6 months. I’ve missed my family and my friends. As much as I am happy I feel scared, it's strange I feel so safe and happy here but I know as soon as I am out there again... it won’t feel the same. Dr Mason says he’s happy with my progress... and if I wanted to stay a little longer I could but then I wouldn’t be able to get on with things and I am so bored here... so I think it should leave. Besides Diosa left like 2 months ago and its quiet here without her I miss her, but I’m glad she got to move on! I hope she and the pregnancy are okay. 

While here I have learned to manage my feelings, and I don’t crave a drink every time I feel extreme emotions. Dr Mason says; its okay to have a drink every so often and if I am to have one I should limit myself to just 1 or 2. But he also says given my track record I should probably steer clear of it. I don’t think I will have a drink again, I don’t trust myself. 

On the bright side, I’m getting a motorbike. I know its weird but I always felt so alive on it... its a feeling like no other. And I need to feel that again... After the accident, I stopped living... I was just a zombie, I didn’t have any goals or plans I just did things because they were there but that's different now. I want to get a job and maybe with time if I feel better I might even go back to college but that's a big step. For now, I just want to do something for me... I’ve made friends here and I will kind of miss it, but I’m ready... I hope.

[ngc-5194]

anyways tonight is a night of positivity and happiness at the nicknames (affectonate) my friends have been giving me lately