#recounting abuse

[sapphireginger]

Title: Drowning Out Sound - Chapter #5

Pairings: None [Gen]

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Word Count: 4,273

Rating: Mature

Warnings:  Descriptions of Past Child Abuse (Recounted by the Child) PTSD Flashback Dissociative Episode Panic Attack Past Trauma

Square Filled: Cooking Together

Written For: @anyfandomfluffbingo​

Full Fic AO3 Link

Summary:

Aunt Talia is a really good teacher and Stiles loves her so much. She has taught him how to do his numbers and letters even better and when he got discouraged, she would distract him with a snack or coloring until he could focus again.

Stiles was embarrassed when they went to the doctor one day because he has to get meds for his ADHD. He wouldn’t look at daddy, mommy or Aunt Talia at first. However, once he got the medication and started taking it, he felt so much better and did a lot better with his schoolwork.

Stiles was doing so well with his schooling, and they were able to have him tested. He ends up getting into first grade at five years old which his family is so very proud of him for. They all get ice cream to celebrate. Toward the end of the year Peter asks Stiles about school.

> Do you want to go to school like Jackson and Malia?

The boy tilts his head and chews his lip. His fingers card through Zuri’s fur and he shakes his head.

> No thank you. There’s so many kids and I’m afraid. I’m sorry, Daddy.

Peter gestures for Stiles to come to him and when the boy does, Peter scoops him up and settles him in his lap.

> Don’t be sorry. It’s okay. Talia said she would help homeschool you until you are ready for public school.

Stiles contemplates this for a moment and then looks at Peter with nervousness.

> What if I never want to go to public school?

> Then we will homeschool you.

> Really?

Peter nods and Stiles hugs him tightly. “Tha’k y’u.”

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Aunt Talia is a really good teacher and Stiles loves her so much. She has taught him how to do his numbers and letters even better and when he got discouraged, she would distract him with a snack or coloring until he could focus again.

Stiles was embarrassed when they went to the doctor one day because he has to get meds for his ADHD. He wouldn’t look at daddy, mommy or Aunt Talia at first. However, once he got the medication and started taking it, he felt so much better and did a lot better with his schoolwork.

A hand waves gently to get his attention. He blinks, having gotten deep into the book he was reading.

> Sorry, Aunt Talia.

He signs quickly as he sets his book down and faces his aunt.

She smiles.

> It’s okay. How is your work going? Do you need any help?

Stiles shakes his head with a smile.

> No thank you. I am just reading now. I did my math and writing. So, I am going to try and do my reading. Is that okay?

Talia nods and ruffles his hair gently.

> Good boy. Enjoy your book.

Eagerly, with a giggle at the ruffling of his hair, Stiles turns back to his book while Talia goes back to the kitchen to fix lunch. It’s so peaceful and she is so grateful she is able to do this for her new nephew.

Her eyes scan the book, and she is surprised at the one he chose. Only five years old and he’s reading Hatchet. Talia is proud and looks forward to telling Peter that his worries for Stiles while valid are unnecessary. He’s going to do just fine. In fact, Stiles will do extremely well. She will make sure of it.

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First semester comes to an end and then in January, they celebrate Malia and Jackson’s birthday. Stiles gets an allowance and saves all of it to get them each something special. He got Jackson a really nice watch that’s red because that’s Jackson’s favorite color and Legos to build a ship from his brother’s movie. He got Malia two fuzzy blankets, one green and one purple that she immediately insists Stiles cuddles with her under. Of course, Jackson gets to join too.

In February they celebrate Talia’s and Grandma Bridget’s birthday. Stiles gets a bottle of warm vanilla sugar lotion for his aunt as well as some fuzzy socks cause she says her feet get cold sometimes. He doesn’t notice her tearing up right away but when he does, he takes over her lap for the day.

> Thank you, Stiles. These are just what I need.

Stiles grins. 

> I know. I pay attention. You’re welcome.

Then he lays his head on her shoulder and watches the movie they have on. Gone with the Wind is Talia’s favorite movie, and the twins got her the anniversary edition for her birthday.

👂🏻•💙•👂🏻

The next day they go over to Grandma Bridget’s house to celebrate her birthday. There are hugs and kisses all around and after lunch, cake and ice cream they head into the living room for presents.

Stiles shyly hands her his gift that he wrapped himself.

> Thank you, my moonbeam.

She opens the gift and places a hand on her chest. Inside is a necklace she thought she had lost that has been polished along with a photograph of her late husband in a beautiful frame with a white rose on it.

> Do you like it grandma?

Bridget wipes her tears and nods.

> I love it, moonbeam. Come here.

Stiles walks over and melts into the hug she gives him and giggles at the kiss she places on his forehead.

👂🏻•💙•👂🏻

In March they celebrate Peter and Marie’s birthdays that are only a week apart. 

Stiles had asked Talia to take him to get their gifts and she took all three kids to the mall. Zuri stays close to Stiles’s side, having already been officially serving for nearly a year. 

> Can we go to the bookstore please?

Talia nods and walks that way, making sure the twins are in her line of sight.

As Stiles scans the shelves, he finds the perfect gift. He asks for help getting it down and when Talia smiles at him, giving her approval at his choice, he preens with pride. They head over to the register to pay for it and then go to the craft store for mommy’s gift.

All in all, it only takes a couple hours before they have everything bought and are on their way home.

Peter’s face when he opens the gift from Stiles is priceless. 

Stiles smiles shyly. 

> You said you love to write, and I thought that you should write more but of course you need something special to put all your words in.

The man’s fingers trace the details on the cover of the dark blue leather journal, and the blue fountain pen to go with it. He kisses the boy’s forehead before pulling him into a tight hug. When Stiles pulls back, he giggles at the pleased smile on Peter’s face before settling in for the rest of the gifts.

Marie gets some new thread for her sewing machine and some seeds for her flower garden. She asks Stiles to help her plant them when it’s the perfect weather for it and he eagerly agrees.

 💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

Then comes April, Stiles’s birthday and in the morning when he wakes up, everything is great. They’re having a small party with family and a couple kids that Stiles met through homeschooling.

Stiles helps with setting the table for lunch and greets his friends when they come. Only one of them gets to stay for cake but they make sure to send some treats home with the one who has to leave.

Peter turns the lights down a bit as Marie gets the video camera out. Stiles blushes and waits patiently as Talia lights the candles on his cake. He counts each candle as it’s lit.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

As the six little flames flicker, Stiles feels a tightness in his chest start to get even tighter. He’s had one birthday with the Hales already but for some reason this one is different. Daddy, mommy, Aunt Talia, Jackson, Malia and Stiles’s friend Grant all start signing to him.

> Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Stiles.

Stiles hiccups a sob so softly it’s barely audible.

> Happy birthday to you.

Everyone is smiling at him, and he wants to smile back but he can’t. So, when they tell him to blow out the candles, he closes his eyes and makes a wish.

‘I wish I wasn’t broken.’

Then he blows out the candles.

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He manages to hold it together until his friend Grant leaves but after that all bets are off. He runs to the master bedroom and crawls under the big bed. Zuri is right by his side and curls around him, letting him bury his head against her tummy. Stiles curls into a small ball as his breathing becomes shallow and rough. His heart is pounding, and he starts rubbing at his ear until Zuri’s paw gently traps his wrist.

Stiles has no idea how long he is under the bed for but when he wakes up he’s on mommy and daddy’s bed and it’s nighttime. Stiles’s brain is mushy, and he wants to hide. So, he does.

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Peter is extremely worried when Stiles hasn’t made a sound or moved a muscle in hours. It hurts to see him so still, almost exactly like he was in the hospital the day Peter came to get him. Marie gets the twins ready for bed and Peter tucks them in. The two adults then get ready for bed themselves and then climb into bed, with Stiles settled between them. Peter made sure to put him into pajamas as well.

He sends an email to Doctor Bowen about an appointment. Peter knows Stiles needs to talk to someone. Marie goes to sleep but Peter can’t sleep yet. He needs to know that Stiles is okay. So, he waits and waits and waits.

It’s nearly midnight when Stiles finally rouses and Peter stills as the boy blinks at him.

> Daddy?

Peter slowly scoops him up and cards his fingers through Stiles’s hair with a soft shudder of relief. He kisses the boy’s forehead and rocks him slowly. Zuri is still on alert watching over her human with a protective gaze and stance.

After a few minutes Stiles pulls back and looks at Peter.

> I’m sorry.

> For what sweetheart?

Stiles looks down for a moment and reaches for Zuri who nuzzles her nose against his tummy. She knows that is where it hurts after he has a panic attack.

> Running and hiding. I got scared and really sad.

Peter nods and gives a small smile of reassurance.

> That’s okay. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You are not in trouble.

> I’m not?

Peter shakes his head.

> No, but can you tell me what made you upset? Maybe I can help.

Stiles starts rubbing at his ear as tears start to fall again. He raises small shaking hands to reply.

> You are my daddy. Marie is my mommy.

His hand forms a fist, and he drags the back of his thumb from his bottom lip down to just below his chin for the word patience and then signs the letter M.

> You are my parents, but I thought about no more mommy and no more daddy. I am glad but it just hit me really hard right here.

He taps his heart and sniffles.

Understanding washes over Peter and his heart aches for the boy. He uses his thumbs to dry Stiles’s tears and makes sure the boy is looking at him.

> You don’t have to be sorry for the things your heart feels. It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be sad. You went through a lot of hurt and even though you’re safe now and have people who love you so very much, you’re going to miss them.

Stiles shakes his head in frustration.

> I don't want to miss them. Why do I miss them?

Peter takes Stiles’s hand in his and ducks his head to meet the boy’s gaze again.

> Because they raised you and were your parents. For all their faults they did love you even if they forgot how to love you in the right way after a while. So it is okay to miss them. That doesn’t mean you are broken or wrong or bad. It just means you are human, and you hurt just like everyone else.

> Thank you, Daddy. I love you.

> I love you too sweetheart. Shall I sing?

Stiles’s amber eyes brighten and a small smile forms on his face as he nods. It’s enough of an answer for Peter to pull him close again. He starts softly humming and Stiles rests his nose against Peter’s throat so he can feel the vibrations as they lull him to sleep.

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When it’s time to go to second grade, Stiles asks his parents and his Aunt Talia if he can try public school.

> I want to try and be around other kids. Malia says I would love recess and Jackson says I would love gym class cause they play soccer and dodgeball. I also want to make some more friends.

Peter is hesitant but with a firm and encouraging nod from Talia, they sign Stiles up to start school at Thomas Jefferson Elementary School where the twins go.

Much to Peter’s relief, Stiles does really well and all of his teachers and even classmates are extremely considerate. Peter can only hope that continues as the years go by.

One day, Stiles comes home and gets off the bus with a huge grin on his face. Peter chuckles at the way the boy is bouncing with excitement.

> What has made you so giggly and excited?

Stiles blushes lightly and kicks his shoes off by the door.

> I made a new friend.  

> Oh? What’s your new friend’s name?

> Name. C-A-L-L-I-O-P-E. Calliope but she says I can call her C-A-L-L-I-E. Callie. 

His smile is shy and pleased, and Peter gets all warm and fuzzy at the news.

> You’ll have to invite her over to play this summer then.

Stiles runs over and looks up at Peter with wide eyes.

> Really? She can come play?

> If her mommy and daddy say she can then I don’t see why not.

Stiles throws his arms around Peter and squeezes as tightly as he can. Peter flings the towel he was using to dry dishes over his shoulder and hugs the boy back. They stay that way until Marie comes in and coaxes Stiles outside to help her plant the seeds that he got her.

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It’s halfway through the summer after second grade and Callie has gotten along really well with all three of the kids and she adores both Marie and Talia. Stiles adores her and they’re really close, so when it’s time to go to the pool, she is asked to join them. Her parents have no problem with her going as they are pleased that she has made a real friend.

Stiles is nervous at first but he’s glad they’re at a smaller waterpark and not a really big one. He also loves all the pretty green trees nearby. Zuri is right by his side as he stands by the edge of the pool. His small hands fist the fabric of his red swim trunks as he tries to work up the courage to get in.

Then two older boys walk over, and Stiles gets nervous at their approach. They smirk at him and without warning, Stiles is shoved into the pool. Time seems to freeze, and Stiles starts thrashing around in terror. He can’t breathe. He. Can’t. Breathe. His eyes go hazy for a moment as his chest constricts. He can hear Zuri barking and just as he’s about to pass out, he has a flashback.

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Three Years Ago:

Playing with his rubber ducky in the tub is something Stiles loves to do. He also loves all the bubbles but is sad when they start to disappear. He’s looking for the soap, when his mommy comes into the bathroom and closes the door.

Stiles frowns slightly in confusion but since she just smiles, he goes back to playing.

Daddy used to always give him his baths but with daddy working more, mommy had to help.

As he’s playing with one of his boats, mommy puts her hand on his head and ruffles his hair. He giggles softly and blows bubbles at her with a grin.

Stiles doesn’t know what happens to make mommy angry but suddenly, mommy does something bad.

She pushes his head under water and holds him there. Stiles starts thrashing and clawing but he’s too small. His eyes grow hazy, and he can’t breathe. The last thing he sees before he passes out is his mommy’s smiling face above him.

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

Present Day:

Stiles remembers talking with Doctor Bowen about what it means to disappear into his head. He remembers her calling it a really big word. When she talked to Peter and gave him papers, Stiles had seen the word and sounded it out for himself. Doctor Bowen calls it dissociating. It’s a big word but she made sure he understood it when he asked.

So, when Stiles comes to and finds himself nowhere near where he was when he blacked out, he knows he dissociated.

Peter has him bundled up in a towel and cradled in between his siblings in the backseat of the car. Stiles’s cheeks turn red with embarrassment.

> Callie?

He signs the word beautiful with a C. It’s her sign name that she got from him.

There’s a tap on his shoulder and he turns his head to see her in the backseat. He starts crying, having been afraid he would lose his friend.

> I’m here Stiles. I am here. You’re my best friend and I’m not going anywhere.

The feeling of tightness in Stiles’s chest has nearly vanished and with the warmth of his siblings on either side of him he feels himself relaxing. Zuri is a grounding weight across his lap and Callie’s hand is gently holding his hand over the seat. Stiles feels totally, completely and one hundred percent safe. This is his family, and he knows they won’t let anything happen to him.

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

Callie stays for lunch and then heads home but promises to see Stiles again real soon. They hug each other tightly before she gets into her dad’s car and goes home.

When she’s out of sight, Stiles closes the door and locks it. Peter is in the study and Marie is in the laundry room. She told Stiles he can help her make cookies for dessert and so he heads to find her first.

With giggles and a huge grin on his face, he helps mommy make cookies. They make peanut butter cookies, chocolate chip cookies and oatmeal cookies. Stiles gets flour on his face and spills a bit of sugar, but Marie just chuckles and tells him it’s okay. Cooking is going to be messy sometimes.

Dinner is a bigger task and Marie is going to handle it herself, but she gives Stiles the first cookie along with one for each of the twins and one for Peter. With a smile, Stiles delivers the twins their cookies first and then, with a deep breath, he heads to the study to talk to Peter.

Zuri is right by his side, a solid weight he needs to stay grounded.

“Da’dy?” he says startling Peter who looks over.

> Hey. What do you have there?

Stiles walks over slowly and hands his daddy the cookie.

> Oatmeal. Mommy says you like oatmeal raisin, but we didn’t have raisins.

> That’s okay. I bet the cookie tastes delicious.

Peter takes a bite and softly sighs.

> Do you like it, Daddy?

Stiles watches with hopeful eyes and Peter nods.

> Yes. I love it.

The man chuckles as Stiles does a fist pump and then quirks a brow when Stiles gestures to the couch.

> Are you busy?

Peter tilts his head.

> Not too busy for you. What’s up?

Stiles chews his lip and signs.

> I need to talk to you. Is that okay?

> Of course. Do you want to sit over there?

Stiles nods and scurries over after closing the study door. The couch is a safe place for him, and Zuri is quick to hop up with him. She settles her body over his lap securely and Peter takes a seat next to the boy.

> What do you need to tell me, dearheart?

> It’s bad, Daddy, but I want to tell you. I need to tell you. I’m just scared is all.

Peter frowns slightly and nods.

> Okay. You can tell me anything. I’m always here when you need me.

Stiles sniffles and nods.

> I know. That’s why I want to tell you. I trust you, Daddy.

Peter’s heart swells with love and affection as that small seed of doubt is decimated.

> Whenever you’re ready.

Stiles nods and takes a deep breath. He takes a moment to go through the breathing exercises that Doctor Bowen showed him and cards his fingers through Zuri’s fur. When he’s settled and calm, he starts to explain.

> You know that old mommy went to a jail for people with hurt brains, but you don’t know what she did to me. I want to tell you. Okay?

Peter swallows thickly. As much as he has wanted and even felt the need to know, he’s certain he won’t like what he learns. Still, he nods.

Stiles nods back and continues.

> Daddy used to always give me my baths. He would make them so much fun. One time he made himself a beard when I accidentally put in too much bubble bath. I don’t know why but daddy had to work more, and he was never there to give me a bath anymore.  

He pauses and shudders, gripping Zuri’s fur tighter, eliciting a rumble in her chest to ground him so he can keep going.

> Take your time.

Peter signs quickly, wanting to make sure Stiles doesn’t push himself if he’s not truly ready.

Stiles nods and flexes his fingers before continuing with a determined expression on his face.

> At first, it was fine, and I took my bath while she was in her room or somewhere else upstairs but sometime after my birthday, she started coming in during that time. She would just sit there but she never played with me like daddy did. When she did come over to the tub, she

Amber eyes fix seriously on Peter.

> Please don’t be mad, okay?

Peter stills and his heart begins to race, but he nods.

> If I am mad, it won’t be at you. I promise.

> Okay.

With another round of his breathing exercises, Stiles forges ahead.

> Mommy knelt by the tub, and I offered her my toy. She just smiled and shook her head. I remember being confused but she ruffled my hair like she always did. So, I didn’t pay much attention. Then something changed and she pushed my head under water. I was scared. I was terrified and I tried to fight back but the water was so heavy here.

He presses his hand flat against his chest and then his stomach.

> I couldn’t breathe and got so sleepy. I don’t know what happened next except for seeing her smiling above me and then darkness. I think I maybe fell asleep, but that is scary cause you can't sleep underwater. I don't remember. My head is all fuzzy about that. When I woke up, I was in my bed and my tummy hurt so bad, Daddy. I couldn’t remember stuff, but I knew mommy did something wrong.

Peter waves his hand slightly to get the boy’s attention.

> Did John know?

Stiles shakes his head and glares, though Peter knows it is not directed at him.

> No. Daddy didn't protect me. He didn’t notice. She did that for a long time and the last time I felt a pain in my head. Right here.

He rubs at his ears and then presses his palms against his temples with a sigh and a shudder.

Peter is barely holding it together as he listens to the horror of what Stiles went through. A white hot burning hatred for Claudia Stilinski floods through his body. He nearly misses when Stiles starts again.

> I felt sick and because my tummy hurt bad, I didn’t eat a lot of food. Mommy told me I was fine, but I knew I wasn’t. That last night I remember my heart pounding as I stared wide eyed at her from under the water. My little hands were scratching at her but then I coughed and accidentally sucked in water. Then my ears popped and started to ring. I felt sleepy and numb. That was the last time I saw mommy and she was smiling at me as she drowned me. The next time I woke up, I was in the hospital and daddy left me that day too.

It seems as though Stiles’s story is over, but Peter is speechless. He’s vibrating with anger and crying silently. What exactly does one say to a child when they explain their trauma, so very well for their age? How can Peter possibly help this child–his child–with overcoming what he went through?

Stiles seems to understand and slowly crawls into Peter’s lap as Peter stretches his legs out on the couch. Zuri keeps her body on Stiles to weigh him down and keep him grounded.

After taking a few minutes to collect his thoughts, Peter makes sure amber eyes meet his blue ones.

> I am so very sorry that she hurt you. I am so angry on your behalf because your mommy should have loved you and never hurt you. I want you to know and never forget that I love you so much. Marie, Jackson, Malia, Talia and grandma love you to the moon and back. You are safe here and I am so very proud of you.

Stiles looks away with pink cheeks.

> Why are you proud?

Peter coaxes the boy to look at him.

> You are brave, strong and you have a huge heart. You knew you needed to and wanted to tell me what happened. So, you did. That takes a lot of strength sweetheart but most of all I am proud because you are my son, and I will always protect you and keep you safe.

Tears fall in torrents down Stiles’s cheeks as he presses a kiss to his daddy’s cheek. Then he practically melts against the man’s body with a content sigh. Peter almost misses the very soft words the boy speaks against his shirt.

“I l’ve y’u Da’dy.”

Peter cradles him close in a protective cocoon and vows then and there that Claudia Stilinski will never ever get out or come near his son again. In fact, the next morning he makes a call and ensures that she won’t ever see anything beyond the walls of the asylum and that if by some small miracle–nightmare–she does get out, well he’ll handle that personally. No one will harm his child ever again.

[softest-butch]

i started reading the vampire armand. btw

[kafus]

for a few years in middle/high school i went to a "special ed" school that was part mental hospital and part school. in the 8th grade, i got attached to one of my classmates because she was the only other person there who knew what vocaloid was, and we were both into it. at the time, kaai yuki was mostly known through the western fanbase because of songs like Crusher's Calalini, and despite the controversy surrounding jani schofield and everything that was unearthed, and despite the song being kind of insensitive, Calalini was my friend's favorite vocaloid song because she was schizophrenic and she genuinely felt like the song understood her experiences. i associated her with yuki and with that song as a result. yuki, in my mind, has always looked like a sick and tired little girl with messy black hair because of this early association, instead of anything even remotely resembling her canon design lol (you can imagine i was pleased when inabakumori started taking off and not only does he use kaai yuki, his mascot character looks similar to my headcanons for what yuki looks like)

the school we went to was abusive, very shitty environment, i feel like i escaped from there by the skin of my teeth - my friend was not so lucky, the abuse really aggravated her schizophrenia symptoms. at some point she brought a knife to school and tried to attack one of the abusive "therapists" there, and she was taken away in an ambulance to a mental ward and i never saw her again. i was forbidden from asking for her personal information to try to reach out and i've never found her online anywhere. whenever i listen to songs using yuki i passively think about her, i really hope she's doing better now and is with safer people. i'm convinced she doesn't have a violent bone in her body, she was just an abused kid trying to defend herself

calalini is a really important song to me despite all of its flaws because of this personal story, and i really value the remake of it that changes the lyrics slightly. kaai yuki will always look like that disheveled girl with black hair to me

[gooopy]

I need outside validation for every single one of my feelings. Chat do you think this counts as a ptsd flashback type thing (under readmore bc um. Its gonna be a long rambly wordvomit mostly to get the thoughts out) (also sex and sex trauma will be mentioned) (and shitty moms)

Okay so my mom (will be referred to as pamela bc i dont consider her my mother) (parents divorced) wouldnt let me have my phone at her house. She was abusive and neglectful and it feels fraudulent to say fhat but i cope with everythinf by forgetting it so whatever. When i was somewhere around 16 i tried to reconnect with her after cutting her out if my life for a while and i began to trust her, enough so that i opened up about my sexual trauma and how i felt like i was beginning to cope with bad stuff by resorting to sex and that i worried it was unhealthy for me. I clarified that when id look for porn, i would mostly look for art as opposed to real people. She immediately concluded that i was looking at lolicon stuff and started talking about how she modded a few subreddits for sex addiction and that i had a problem and that i would begin seeking out more and more extreme porn until i was watching snuff films. All while im trapped in a car with her and told her id been groomed (and she SAW some instances of me engaging in sexual acts online as a kid, thats part of why i couldnt have a phone! Which lead to me sneaking my phone! And having worse sexual encounters!) This and some constant surveillance (would try to log into my accounts without me knowing, would peer into my room when i was asleep, had 'pet cameras' installed that stayed on, probably more i dont recall) is some of the uh. Major stuff for me.

All thats a preamble to say that earlier i saw something raunchy, enjoyed it, ans then all of a sudden i was terrified that somehow pamela knew that id enjoyed porn and that she had access to my phone again and that i was in trouble, and even typing this i feel that weird tightness in my chest inagining her calling me to sit on the front porch and try to defend what id done. But i didnt see like, images of her flash in my mind, and its hard to look up ptsd stuff for me i struggle to parse it and who knows if i actually do have ptsd. Anyways um chat is it a ptsd flashback if you feel certain that your abuser has power over you again lol

[thewingedwolf]

one thing about hbo is that when they get a journalist coming up to them and going “man do i have a fucked up story i want to follow” they really do let that person go wild. i’ve mentioned the way the ronan farrow one really moved me emotionally and that’s just because ronan knows how to investigate and tell a story to get you righteously angry for who it is he’s defending. he’s good at his job!

but this one, quiet on the set, has genuinely made my jaw drop a few times, even if i think some of the framing could have been better in the last episode. of course i know about all the rumors about dan schneider and the abuse on set, it’s hard to have been into the teen nick scene and not notice, and it’s pretty easy to figure out which kids were being harmed through too much attention and which were being harmed through not enough attention, and there’s been all sorts of rumors floating around for over a decade!

but the build up to the drake bell reveal was well handled, i thought. i was initially skeptical because i think it’s hard to make a documentary about child sexual abuse without leaning into being exploitative in some way. and at first, where you have the actors who left early, like katrina, or who you remember but weren’t mega famous like giovannie, and they’re all saying “this set was so weird & inappropriate, i knew something was wrong but i didn’t have the experience or vocabulary to say what” it feels a little too schlocky. like, oh we’re just kind of speculating on the inappropriate nature of dan’s “friendship” with amanda bynes for two episodes? yeah it is fucked up that two pedophiles were on that set, but did they hurt anyone on set?

and then drake bell walks into the room dressed like timmy turner and says it was me. he hurt me.

i can’t stop thinking about the choice of clothes here and the way it helps drive home the point of the doc. he’s sitting there in fairly odd parents colors as an adult and can’t describe the sexual trauma he experienced as a child still, has never spoken about it, had his mom lie to his father over it because he was so screwed up. really driving home the point that he was just a kid who had a knack for physical comedy and it got him preyed on by dan, a man who should have protected him, set up and handed over to a monster who traumatized him for months and years.

but when that reporter said she got a judge to let them unseal the court documents because drake bell told her how much support peck had? my jaw dropped, like yeah this is reporting, this is someone who saw this story and finally fucking cared not about the salacious details but about who knew what and why they did nothing to stop this from happening. it’s not about forcing drake bell or katrina jackson or alexa to live through the worst moments of their life - it’s about how so many people knew what was going on and didn’t do a god damn thing to stop it. it’s about how these monsters, these convicted pedophiles, were given access to little kids to hurt and traumatize and everyone knew and didn’t just look the other way, they actively helped cover it up. THATS the story. Not that it was an isolated tragedy but that it was a clinical, purposeful environment built by people who wanted to harm little kids.

[kalisbaby]

I just finished watching Quiet On Set and at this point I wanna take weapons and start riding on the industry.

This isn't a joke. I am legit so mad and heartbroken by the violence that Hollywood continues to allow and enable people, especially white men, to wield all for the sake of a profit.

Mental, emotional, and physical safety of the staff and casting, especially the children, be damned, right? As long as those dollars still roll on right? How many more documentaries and exposés do there need to be before some real change takes place????

At this point burn the whole industry down and salt the motherfucking earth. Omfg...

[fipindustries]

the macavity number in cats is hilarious because it fails the bechdel test strepitously and yet, if the performers do their job right, the sheer sapphic energy between demeter and bombalurina makes the fact they are singing about a guy irrelevant

[beastieclub]

the narcissistic parents subreddit is the worst thing to happen to online discussions of mental health

[sapphireginger]

Title: Drowning Out Sound - Chapter #5

Pairings: None [Gen]

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Word Count: 4,273

Warnings:  Descriptions of Past Child Abuse (Recounted by the Child) PTSD Flashback Dissociative Episode Panic Attack Past Trauma

Square Filled: Anxiety Attack

Written For: @anyfandomangstbingo

Full Fic AO3 Link

Summary:

Aunt Talia is a really good teacher and Stiles loves her so much. She has taught him how to do his numbers and letters even better and when he got discouraged, she would distract him with a snack or coloring until he could focus again.

Stiles was embarrassed when they went to the doctor one day because he has to get meds for his ADHD. He wouldn’t look at daddy, mommy or Aunt Talia at first. However, once he got the medication and started taking it, he felt so much better and did a lot better with his schoolwork.

Stiles was doing so well with his schooling, and they were able to have him tested. He ends up getting into first grade at five years old which his family is so very proud of him for. They all get ice cream to celebrate. Toward the end of the year Peter asks Stiles about school.

> Do you want to go to school like Jackson and Malia?

The boy tilts his head and chews his lip. His fingers card through Zuri’s fur and he shakes his head. 

> No thank you. There’s so many kids and I’m afraid. I’m sorry, Daddy.

Peter gestures for Stiles to come to him and when the boy does, Peter scoops him up and settles him in his lap. 

> Don’t be sorry. It’s okay. Talia said she would help homeschool you until you are ready for public school.

Stiles contemplates this for a moment and then looks at Peter with nervousness.

> What if I never want to go to public school?

> Then we will homeschool you.

> Really?

Peter nods and Stiles hugs him tightly. “Tha’k y’u.”

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

Aunt Talia is a really good teacher and Stiles loves her so much. She has taught him how to do his numbers and letters even better and when he got discouraged, she would distract him with a snack or coloring until he could focus again.

Stiles was embarrassed when they went to the doctor one day because he has to get meds for his ADHD. He wouldn’t look at daddy, mommy or Aunt Talia at first. However, once he got the medication and started taking it, he felt so much better and did a lot better with his schoolwork.

A hand waves gently to get his attention. He blinks, having gotten deep into the book he was reading. 

> Sorry, Aunt Talia.

He signs quickly as he sets his book down and faces his aunt.

She smiles. 

> It’s okay. How is your work going? Do you need any help?

Stiles shakes his head with a smile. 

> No thank you. I am just reading now. I did my math and writing. So, I am going to try and do my reading. Is that okay?

Talia nods and ruffles his hair gently. 

> Good boy. Enjoy your book.

Eagerly, with a giggle at the ruffling of his hair, Stiles turns back to his book while Talia goes back to the kitchen to fix lunch. It’s so peaceful and she is so grateful she is able to do this for her new nephew.

Her eyes scan the book, and she is surprised at the one he chose. Only five years old and he’s reading Hatchet. Talia is proud and looks forward to telling Peter that his worries for Stiles while valid are unnecessary. He’s going to do just fine. In fact, Stiles will do extremely well. She will make sure of it. 

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

First semester comes to an end and then in January, they celebrate Malia and Jackson’s birthday. Stiles gets an allowance and saves all of it to get them each something special. He got Jackson a really nice watch that’s red because that’s Jackson’s favorite color and Legos to build a ship from his brother’s movie. He got Malia two fuzzy blankets, one green and one purple that she immediately insists Stiles cuddles with her under. Of course, Jackson gets to join too.

In February they celebrate Talia’s and Grandma Bridget’s birthday. Stiles gets a bottle of warm vanilla sugar lotion for his aunt as well as some fuzzy socks cause she says her feet get cold sometimes. He doesn’t notice her tearing up right away but when he does, he takes over her lap for the day.

> Thank you, Stiles. These are just what I need.

Stiles grins. 

> I know. I pay attention. You’re welcome.

Then he lays his head on her shoulder and watches the movie they have on. Gone with the Wind is Talia’s favorite movie, and the twins got her the anniversary edition for her birthday.

👂🏻•💙•👂🏻

The next day they go over to Grandma Bridget’s house to celebrate her birthday. There are hugs and kisses all around and after lunch, cake and ice cream they head into the living room for presents.

Stiles shyly hands her his gift that he wrapped himself.

> Thank you, my moonbeam.

She opens the gift and places a hand on her chest. Inside is a necklace she thought she had lost that has been polished along with a photograph of her late husband in a beautiful frame with a white rose on it.

> Do you like it grandma?

Bridget wipes her tears and nods.

> I love it, moonbeam. Come here.

Stiles walks over and melts into the hug she gives him and giggles at the kiss she places on his forehead.

👂🏻•💙•👂🏻

In March they celebrate Peter and Marie’s birthdays that are only a week apart. 

Stiles had asked Talia to take him to get their gifts and she took all three kids to the mall. Zuri stays close to Stiles’s side, having already been officially serving for nearly a year. 

> Can we go to the bookstore please?

Talia nods and walks that way, making sure the twins are in her line of sight.

As Stiles scans the shelves, he finds the perfect gift. He asks for help getting it down and when Talia smiles at him, giving her approval at his choice, he preens with pride. They head over to the register to pay for it and then go to the craft store for mommy’s gift.

All in all, it only takes a couple hours before they have everything bought and are on their way home.

Peter’s face when he opens the gift from Stiles is priceless. 

Stiles smiles shyly. 

> You said you love to write, and I thought that you should write more but of course you need something special to put all your words in.

The man’s fingers trace the details on the cover of the dark blue leather journal, and the blue fountain pen to go with it. He kisses the boy’s forehead before pulling him into a tight hug. When Stiles pulls back, he giggles at the pleased smile on Peter’s face before settling in for the rest of the gifts.

Marie gets some new thread for her sewing machine and some seeds for her flower garden. She asks Stiles to help her plant them when it’s the perfect weather for it and he eagerly agrees.

 💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

Then comes April, Stiles’s birthday and in the morning when he wakes up, everything is great. They’re having a small party with family and a couple kids that Stiles met through homeschooling.

Stiles helps with setting the table for lunch and greets his friends when they come. Only one of them gets to stay for cake but they make sure to send some treats home with the one who has to leave. 

Peter turns the lights down a bit as Marie gets the video camera out. Stiles blushes and waits patiently as Talia lights the candles on his cake. He counts each candle as it’s lit. 

One. 

Two.

Three.

Four. 

Five. 

Six.

As the six little flames flicker, Stiles feels a tightness in his chest start to get even tighter. He’s had one birthday with the Hales already but for some reason this one is different. Daddy, mommy, Aunt Talia, Jackson, Malia and Stiles’s friend Grant all start signing to him. 

> Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Stiles.

Stiles hiccups a sob so softly it’s barely audible.

> Happy birthday to you.

Everyone is smiling at him, and he wants to smile back but he can’t. So, when they tell him to blow out the candles, he closes his eyes and makes a wish.

‘I wish I wasn’t broken.’

Then he blows out the candles.

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

He manages to hold it together until his friend Grant leaves but after that all bets are off. He runs to the master bedroom and crawls under the big bed. Zuri is right by his side and curls around him, letting him bury his head against her tummy. Stiles curls into a small ball as his breathing becomes shallow and rough. His heart is pounding, and he starts rubbing at his ear until Zuri’s paw gently traps his wrist. 

Stiles has no idea how long he is under the bed for but when he wakes up he’s on mommy and daddy’s bed and it’s nighttime. Stiles’s brain is mushy, and he wants to hide. So, he does.

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

Peter is extremely worried when Stiles hasn’t made a sound or moved a muscle in hours. It hurts to see him so still, almost exactly like he was in the hospital the day Peter came to get him. Marie gets the twins ready for bed and Peter tucks them in. The two adults then get ready for bed themselves and then climb into bed, with Stiles settled between them. Peter made sure to put him into pajamas as well.

He sends an email to Doctor Bowen about an appointment. Peter knows Stiles needs to talk to someone. Marie goes to sleep but Peter can’t sleep yet. He needs to know that Stiles is okay. So, he waits and waits and waits.

It’s nearly midnight when Stiles finally rouses and Peter stills as the boy blinks at him. 

> Daddy?

Peter slowly scoops him up and cards his fingers through Stiles’s hair with a soft shudder of relief. He kisses the boy’s forehead and rocks him slowly. Zuri is still on alert watching over her human with a protective gaze and stance. 

After a few minutes Stiles pulls back and looks at Peter.

> I’m sorry.

> For what sweetheart?

Stiles looks down for a moment and reaches for Zuri who nuzzles her nose against his tummy. She knows that is where it hurts after he has a panic attack.

> Running and hiding. I got scared and really sad.

Peter nods and gives a small smile of reassurance. 

> That’s okay. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You are not in trouble.

> I’m not?

Peter shakes his head. 

> No, but can you tell me what made you upset? Maybe I can help.

Stiles starts rubbing at his ear as tears start to fall again. He raises small shaking hands to reply.

> You are my daddy. Marie is my mommy.

His hand forms a fist, and he drags the back of his thumb from his bottom lip down to just below his chin for the word patience and then signs the letter M.

> You are my parents, but I thought about no more mommy and no more daddy. I am glad but it just hit me really hard right here.

He taps his heart and sniffles. 

Understanding washes over Peter and his heart aches for the boy. He uses his thumbs to dry Stiles’s tears and makes sure the boy is looking at him.

> You don’t have to be sorry for the things your heart feels. It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be sad. You went through a lot of hurt and even though you’re safe now and have people who love you so very much, you’re going to miss them.

Stiles shakes his head in frustration. 

> I don't want to miss them. Why do I miss them?

Peter takes Stiles’s hand in his and ducks his head to meet the boy’s gaze again.

> Because they raised you and were your parents. For all their faults they did love you even if they forgot how to love you in the right way after a while. So it is okay to miss them. That doesn’t mean you are broken or wrong or bad. It just means you are human, and you hurt just like everyone else.

> Thank you, Daddy. I love you. 

> I love you too sweetheart. Shall I sing?

Stiles’s amber eyes brighten and a small smile forms on his face as he nods. It’s enough of an answer for Peter to pull him close again. He starts softly humming and Stiles rests his nose against Peter’s throat so he can feel the vibrations as they lull him to sleep. 

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

When it’s time to go to second grade, Stiles asks his parents and his Aunt Talia if he can try public school. 

> I want to try and be around other kids. Malia says I would love recess and Jackson says I would love gym class cause they play soccer and dodgeball. I also want to make some more friends.

Peter is hesitant but with a firm and encouraging nod from Talia, they sign Stiles up to start school at Thomas Jefferson Elementary School where the twins go. 

Much to Peter’s relief, Stiles does really well and all of his teachers and even classmates are extremely considerate. Peter can only hope that continues as the years go by. 

One day, Stiles comes home and gets off the bus with a huge grin on his face. Peter chuckles at the way the boy is bouncing with excitement. 

> What has made you so giggly and excited?

Stiles blushes lightly and kicks his shoes off by the door. 

> I made a new friend.  

> Oh? What’s your new friend’s name?

> Name. C-A-L-L-I-O-P-E. Calliope but she says I can call her C-A-L-L-I-E. Callie.

His smile is shy and pleased, and Peter gets all warm and fuzzy at the news. 

> You’ll have to invite her over to play this summer then. 

Stiles runs over and looks up at Peter with wide eyes.

> Really? She can come play?

> If her mommy and daddy say she can then I don’t see why not.

Stiles throws his arms around Peter and squeezes as tightly as he can. Peter flings the towel he was using to dry dishes over his shoulder and hugs the boy back. They stay that way until Marie comes in and coaxes Stiles outside to help her plant the seeds that he got her.

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

It’s halfway through the summer after second grade and Callie has gotten along really well with all three of the kids and she adores both Marie and Talia. Stiles adores her and they’re really close, so when it’s time to go to the pool, she is asked to join them. Her parents have no problem with her going as they are pleased that she has made a real friend.

Stiles is nervous at first but he’s glad they’re at a smaller waterpark and not a really big one. He also loves all the pretty green trees nearby. Zuri is right by his side as he stands by the edge of the pool. His small hands fist the fabric of his red swim trunks as he tries to work up the courage to get in.

Then two older boys walk over, and Stiles gets nervous at their approach. They smirk at him and without warning, Stiles is shoved into the pool. Time seems to freeze, and Stiles starts thrashing around in terror. He can’t breathe. He. Can’t. Breathe. His eyes go hazy for a moment as his chest constricts. He can hear Zuri barking and just as he’s about to pass out, he has a flashback. 

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

Three Years Ago:

Playing with his rubber ducky in the tub is something Stiles loves to do. He also loves all the bubbles but is sad when they start to disappear. He’s looking for the soap, when his mommy comes into the bathroom and closes the door. 

Stiles frowns slightly in confusion but since she just smiles, he goes back to playing. 

Daddy used to always give him his baths but with daddy working more, mommy had to help. 

As he’s playing with one of his boats, mommy puts her hand on his head and ruffles his hair. He giggles softly and blows bubbles at her with a grin. 

Stiles doesn’t know what happens to make mommy angry but suddenly, mommy does something bad. 

She pushes his head under water and holds him there. Stiles starts thrashing and clawing but he’s too small. His eyes grow hazy, and he can’t breathe. The last thing he sees before he passes out is his mommy’s smiling face above him. 

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

Present Day:

Stiles remembers talking with Doctor Bowen about what it means to disappear into his head. He remembers her calling it a really big word. When she talked to Peter and gave him papers, Stiles had seen the word and sounded it out for himself. Doctor Bowen calls it dissociating. It’s a big word but she made sure he understood it when he asked. 

So, when Stiles comes to and finds himself nowhere near where he was when he blacked out, he knows he dissociated. 

Peter has him bundled up in a towel and cradled in between his siblings in the backseat of the car. Stiles’s cheeks turn red with embarrassment.

> Callie?

He signs the word beautiful with a C. It’s her sign name that she got from him.

There’s a tap on his shoulder and he turns his head to see her in the backseat. He starts crying, having been afraid he would lose his friend. 

> I’m here Stiles. I am here. You’re my best friend and I’m not going anywhere.

The feeling of tightness in Stiles’s chest has nearly vanished and with the warmth of his siblings on either side of him he feels himself relaxing. Zuri is a grounding weight across his lap and Callie’s hand is gently holding his hand over the seat. Stiles feels totally, completely and one hundred percent safe. This is his family, and he knows they won’t let anything happen to him.

💦🫧👂🏻•💙•👂🏻🫧💦

Callie stays for lunch and then heads home but promises to see Stiles again real soon. They hug each other tightly before she gets into her dad’s car and goes home.

When she’s out of sight, Stiles closes the door and locks it. Peter is in the study and Marie is in the laundry room. She told Stiles he can help her make cookies for dessert and so he heads to find her first.

With giggles and a huge grin on his face, he helps mommy make cookies. They make peanut butter cookies, chocolate chip cookies and oatmeal cookies. Stiles gets flour on his face and spills a bit of sugar, but Marie just chuckles and tells him it’s okay. Cooking is going to be messy sometimes. 

Dinner is a bigger task and Marie is going to handle it herself, but she gives Stiles the first cookie along with one for each of the twins and one for Peter. With a smile, Stiles delivers the twins their cookies first and then, with a deep breath, he heads to the study to talk to Peter. 

Zuri is right by his side, a solid weight he needs to stay grounded. 

“Da’dy?” he says startling Peter who looks over. 

> Hey. What do you have there?

Stiles walks over slowly and hands his daddy the cookie. 

> Oatmeal. Mommy says you like oatmeal raisin, but we didn’t have raisins. 

> That’s okay. I bet the cookie tastes delicious.

Peter takes a bite and softly sighs. 

> Do you like it, Daddy?

Stiles watches with hopeful eyes and Peter nods. 

> Yes. I love it.

The man chuckles as Stiles does a fist pump and then quirks a brow when Stiles gestures to the couch.

> Are you busy?

Peter tilts his head. 

> Not too busy for you. What’s up?

Stiles chews his lip and signs.

> I need to talk to you. Is that okay? 

> Of course. Do you want to sit over there?

Stiles nods and scurries over after closing the study door. The couch is a safe place for him, and Zuri is quick to hop up with him. She settles her body over his lap securely and Peter takes a seat next to the boy. 

> What do you need to tell me, dearheart?

> It’s bad, Daddy, but I want to tell you. I need to tell you. I’m just scared is all.

Peter frowns slightly and nods. 

> Okay. You can tell me anything. I’m always here when you need me.

Stiles sniffles and nods. 

> I know. That’s why I want to tell you. I trust you, Daddy.

Peter’s heart swells with love and affection as that small seed of doubt is decimated. 

> Whenever you’re ready.

Stiles nods and takes a deep breath. He takes a moment to go through the breathing exercises that Doctor Bowen showed him and cards his fingers through Zuri’s fur. When he’s settled and calm, he starts to explain.

> You know that old mommy went to a jail for people with hurt brains, but you don’t know what she did to me. I want to tell you. Okay?

Peter swallows thickly. As much as he has wanted and even felt the need to know, he’s certain he won’t like what he learns. Still, he nods.

Stiles nods back and continues.

> Daddy used to always give me my baths. He would make them so much fun. One time he made himself a beard when I accidentally put in too much bubble bath. I don’t know why but daddy had to work more, and he was never there to give me a bath anymore.  

He pauses and shudders, gripping Zuri’s fur tighter, eliciting a rumble in her chest to ground him so he can keep going. 

> Take your time.

Peter signs quickly, wanting to make sure Stiles doesn’t push himself if he’s not truly ready.

Stiles nods and flexes his fingers before continuing with a determined expression on his face.

> At first, it was fine, and I took my bath while she was in her room or somewhere else upstairs but sometime after my birthday, she started coming in during that time. She would just sit there but she never played with me like daddy did. When she did come over to the tub, she

Amber eyes fix seriously on Peter.

> Please don’t be mad, okay?

Peter stills and his heart begins to race, but he nods. 

> If I am mad, it won’t be at you. I promise.

> Okay.

With another round of his breathing exercises, Stiles forges ahead.

> Mommy knelt by the tub, and I offered her my toy. She just smiled and shook her head. I remember being confused but she ruffled my hair like she always did. So, I didn’t pay much attention. Then something changed and she pushed my head under water. I was scared. I was terrified and I tried to fight back but the water was so heavy here.

He presses his hand flat against his chest and then his stomach. 

> I couldn’t breathe and got so sleepy. I don’t know what happened next except for seeing her smiling above me and then darkness. I think I maybe fell asleep, but that is scary cause you can't sleep underwater. I don't remember. My head is all fuzzy about that. When I woke up, I was in my bed and my tummy hurt so bad, Daddy. I couldn’t remember stuff, but I knew mommy did something wrong.

Peter waves his hand slightly to get the boy’s attention.

> Did John know?

Stiles shakes his head and glares, though Peter knows it is not directed at him.

> No. Daddy didn't protect me. He didn’t notice. She did that for a long time and the last time I felt a pain in my head. Right here.

He rubs at his ears and then presses his palms against his temples with a sigh and a shudder.

Peter is barely holding it together as he listens to the horror of what Stiles went through. A white hot burning hatred for Claudia Stilinski floods through his body. He nearly misses when Stiles starts again.

> I felt sick and because my tummy hurt bad, I didn’t eat a lot of food. Mommy told me I was fine, but I knew I wasn’t. That last night I remember my heart pounding as I stared wide eyed at her from under the water. My little hands were scratching at her but then I coughed and accidentally sucked in water. Then my ears popped and started to ring. I felt sleepy and numb. That was the last time I saw mommy and she was smiling at me as she drowned me. The next time I woke up, I was in the hospital and daddy left me that day too.

It seems as though Stiles’s story is over, but Peter is speechless. He’s vibrating with anger and crying silently. What exactly does one say to a child when they explain their trauma, so very well for their age? How can Peter possibly help this child–his child–with overcoming what he went through?

Stiles seems to understand and slowly crawls into Peter’s lap as Peter stretches his legs out on the couch. Zuri keeps her body on Stiles to weigh him down and keep him grounded. 

After taking a few minutes to collect his thoughts, Peter makes sure amber eyes meet his blue ones.

> I am so very sorry that she hurt you. I am so angry on your behalf because your mommy should have loved you and never hurt you. I want you to know and never forget that I love you so much. Marie, Jackson, Malia, Talia and grandma love you to the moon and back. You are safe here and I am so very proud of you.

Stiles looks away with pink cheeks. 

> Why are you proud?

Peter coaxes the boy to look at him.

> You are brave, strong and you have a huge heart. You knew you needed to and wanted to tell me what happened. So, you did. That takes a lot of strength sweetheart but most of all I am proud because you are my son, and I will always protect you and keep you safe.

Tears fall in torrents down Stiles’s cheeks as he presses a kiss to his daddy’s cheek. Then he practically melts against the man’s body with a content sigh. Peter almost misses the very soft words the boy speaks against his shirt. 

“I l’ve y’u Da’dy.”

Peter cradles him close in a protective cocoon and vows then and there that Claudia Stilinski will never ever get out or come near his son again. In fact, the next morning he makes a call and ensures that she won’t ever see anything beyond the walls of the asylum and that if by some small miracle–nightmare–she does get out, well he’ll handle that personally. No one will harm his child ever again.

[the-descolada]

.

[kittyplayz1cantmsg4somereason]

I wish there was a dialogue option to tell that Drow in Moonrise that doesn’t seem to take no for an answer about Astarion biting her that you have a different suggestion for how she could experience the sensation she described imagining experiencing from a vampire bite and basically threaten to slit her throat because that’s what I wanted to do in that moment

[missr3n3]

If cdta Adam and the human cast ever found out you were behind all of that shinz , they'd beat you up lol

me, eyes enormous: h-hey, at least it's not as bad as what just happened to peter cabin tales!

[fate-motif]

"only veterans of 2017 star trek fandom drama will understand that reference" do tell? 👀

oh god oh fuck.

i’m not even going to go into depth because i have some shit to do today but like. in 2017 circles of voyager fans who saw janeway as a lesbian, mostly j7 shippers, started reblogging an image of janeway in that meme that’s like THIS X IS GAY AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. and then that image reached people who saw janeway as bisexual, mostly jc shippers, who could not take the audacity of that image reaching their dashboard, so they started pouring in a lot of outrage about how they were doing bi erasure on janeway because in canon she has a lot of relationships with men. which, of course, the lesbian hcers took umbrage with because if they were only allowed to hc women that had zero relationships with men in the franchise they would obviously have no characters to see themselves in even in the fandom world, and it was doubly hypocritical considering janeway obviously never had any romantic relationships with women either so what made the bi hc that much more real than the lesbian hc etc. etc.

christ i’m old and i’m tired. janeway isn’t real and if someone sees you play with the same action figure you have in a way you don’t like maybe just don’t talk to them, kids.

[computerpeople]

tw child abuse i didnt realize how fucked up this actually was until i wrote it all out LOL anyways sorry this is long. absolutely no requirement for anyone to read, but lms if you do since its long

a situation ive had really stuck in my head with this whole dad situation is the time that i had a minor seizure and instead of being worried that i came home from a date with my (at time physically abusive) ex, where we went to a baseball game with his dad and his dads gf for his birthay with massive blown out pupils, they screamed at me for hours about how im a useless waste of space and an evil child and how i clearly was going out and doing drugs with my boyfriend and lying to them about where ive been, and you know, im unaware of it but at the time i had just had a minor seizure and was freaking the fuck out because nothing was making sense and they were flashing flashlights into my eyes andf screaming at me and i couldn't make out anything they were saying until i started screaming at them to take me to the hospital and have me pee tested because i knew that i hadn't taken anything and if i WAS drugged (which i couldn't tell anymore because i was, again, post seizure and extremely freaked out) it wasnt of my own accord and that i would have BEEN drugged by someone else if i was

went to the hospital where i got screamed at in the car the entire time, and then screamed at in the waiting room. i just cried, man, i cried and cried and cried the entire time and kept screaming at them that i was innocent and that i hadn't taken anything because fucking obviously i hadn't taken anything. i was like 15 and severely heavily medicated and my boyfriend was a 14 year old theatre kid danganronpa fan, of course we werent taking hard fucking drugs. they eventually calmed down ocne the nurses started being around and started being overly nice to me, offering to get me star bucks and snacks from the drink places downstairs, mean while im like in shock and shaking violently and can't think coherently. and they explain to the nurses that im severely mentally unwell/struggle w some pretty severe ptsd so if im not able to communicate right thats why.

the nurse took me to the bathroom to pee in a cup and while we were walking to the bathroom she was like. "hey.... be honest with me, did you take anything?" and i shook my head and said no, that i told them to take me here to prove that i didn't. and she nodded and said "i knew you didnt" before letting me into the bathroom. i dont really remember the rest of that night bc it was mostly calm because obviously i peed clean and i was exhausted but i ended up getting home at 5am when the sun was already up, and they expected me to go to school after (got in trouble for going to bed and staying home). they never apologized though, they just kept insisting that trhey did all of this because they were terrified i had got drugged by someone at the ball game. they still haven't apologized.

[prnsn001]

One Room of Happiness / Sachi-iro no One Room